Rainbow Dash's Shipping Goggles

by Flint Sparks

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy
Length: 5910

Rainbow Dash receives a pair of enchanted goggles from her grandfather revealing one's true love. Naturally, she abuses it.

Rainbow Dash has a secret. An embarrassing secret. Coming from a long line of race ponies and pegasi, there's only one member of her family that isn't awesome. Grandpa Prism, a unicorn. A weird unicorn. Weird as in he experiments with magic. Magic like enchantments and potions. Magic like, blegh, love.

Naturally, she's hesitant when a package arrives in the mail. A strange package from her strange grandfather. But it’s the inside that counts.

Edited by Between Lines. Coverart by twilight-the-pony.

Dedicated to Seether00 and Skeeter The Lurker because I like you. It also helps that you preread this too, but I like you guys. :heart:

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-01 05:44:10 UTC

The Red String.

“Derpy! How many times do I have to tell you? Just take it to my house. You don’t have to find me all the time!” Rainbow Dash grumbled as Ponyville’s number one mailmare shrugged and blushed, embarrassed by her third navigation failure that week. Why the mailmare had tried hunting down Rainbow Dash during flight practice was anypony’s guess, but the package had been delivered, mid-air collisions notwithstanding.

Derpy passed over the small package while Rainbow glowered and uncrossed her forelegs. Despite the 'incident,' it was still a gorgeous day for flying, with clear blue stretching from horizon to horizon. It was a shame the weather team would have to end it so soon, but they were already running the risk of a drought, and the Mayor wouldn't hear one word of it.

With her package in hoof, Rainbow bid Derpy a not unwelcome farewell, before rolling her eyes and taking off on her own, flying into a dive as she scanned the landscape for a safe place to examine her package. With flying practice disrupted, it wasn't like she had anything better to do. Fortunately, she happened to know the perfect spot to rest after her daily morning practice.

Pulling up from her dive, Rainbow Dash swooped in and twisted her barrel, lightly landing on a low-hanging cloud just above the Apple orchard. The material felt cushy to her worn wings; a somewhat sensitive sensation near her secondaries reminded her that she needed to preen soon, especially after a prolonged flight practice. She scooted over and wiggled on her back, cradling the package in curiosity. She lifted it up to her eyes, peering at the illegible scribbles on the brown wrappings.

“To my dear Rainbow Dash, from… Grampa Prism?!” Rainbow Dash read aloud from the messy hoofwriting, her eyes widening in surprise. She hadn’t heard that name since she was a filly. Her hooves moved to tear the package open as her mind traversed fuzzy memories of her grandpa.

Gramps… haven’t seen ya in awhile... Fond memories of sitting on a weathered unicorn’s lap whenever she visited the town flashed through her mind as she jiggled the cardboard box. Grandpa Prism was a peculiar unicorn, the only one in her immediate family. Rainbow Dash reminisced about his odd magic and the potions he brewed, and the embarrassment she suffered in his warm presence. To the bashful filly, he was the only “uncool” pony in the family. He took this in jest and merely showed her new toys he had crafted, but even today Rainbow Dash felt a measure of guilt for her immaturity.

A small smile touched upon the corner of her lips as she finally tore the tape off off the box with her teeth. She spat it out, allowing it to pass through the cloud (Applejack would make her pick up the trash later, no doubt), and gingerly opened the box as to not allow its contents to fall.

“Rainbow Dash!” a voice called from the distance. She jolted and turned away from her precious box, only to spot a familiar pony in the horizon galloping through the orchard. Rainbow Dash peeked over her cloud and noticed her litter had stuck to some of the trees below. Applejack might be cheerful now, but Rainbow Dash was in for a lecture if she got caught red-hoofed. Cutting her losses, Rainbow Dash flipped off her cloud into flight and dashed off.

Clutching the box shut against her chest, Rainbow Dash glided above Ponyville and searched for a place to open it in peace. Someplace quiet. Someplace nopony would ever think to find her. Someplace nopony would ever set hoof in. Someplace like—

“The library!” Rainbow Dash shouted to herself, silently congratulating herself on her awesome intellect, then realized she had basically called herself an egghead and began thinking about the Wonderbolts to balance out her “coolness levels.”

She flew down just above the town’s rooftops as the great oak tree came into sight, the box secured in her forelegs. Soaring at a leisurely speed (which, to most pegasi, was still pretty fast), she arrived in matter of minutes. Once the balcony came into view, she flipped over to land on her hind legs and descended slowly, as to not crash on Twilight’s balcony… again.

She hovered above the ground as she snuck inside, in case Twilight was absorbed in her studying. She scanned the immediate area, but found no dragon or pony in the bedroom. Rainbow Dash casually crept down the stairs to avoid startling Twilight and Spike. She would’ve flown, but her wing flaps would have been too audible. On the bottom step, known for its creak, she lightly pushed down on it and leaped off the stairs onto three hooves and looked into the room.

There she was, sitting at the wooden table. Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia and magic extraordinaire, reading a book like always. Such an egghead. Rainbow Dash stepped away from the stairs and toward Twilight before waving. “Twilight!” An excited thought struck her; Twilight would definitely be interested in whatever Gramps had sent.

Twilight’s eye twitched in surprise, but she calmly shut the book and turned to her intrusive friend and greeted her. “Hey Rainbow Dash!” Nothing she could do, it was a public library. “What are you doing here?”

Rainbow Dash lifted the cardboard box up and grinned. “Got a present from my gramps. Want to check it out? It’s probably some cool magic junk.”

This caught Twilight’s attention; she pushed the book away and stood up, her ears straightening and her eyes sparkling in the library’s lighting. “Your grandpa is a unicorn?”

“That’s right!” Rainbow Dash puffed out her chest in dashing bravado. “My gramps, Grandpa Prism! The most talented, powerful, and uh… ‘awesome’ unicorn there is! He’s a little weird… but awesome!” Rainbow Dash blushed at her verbal irony. Perhaps he was awesome, just not her version of awesome… “Oh, and he makes cool magic junk. Wanna see?”

Curiosity got the better of Twilight and she trotted over, lowering her head as Rainbow Dash set the box on the ground. Not knowing what enchantments laid inside, she gently lifted the four cardboard flaps and peered inside the box.

“Well, that’s interesting, I suppose,” Twilight said with a hint of disappointment as she lifted a foreleg to move. Before she could return to her reading, Rainbow Dash’s wings flared off her sides in excitement.

“Cool!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she lifted an object from the box and examined it. Just what she needed! Twilight couldn’t help but stare at it as well.

Goggles, it was a pair of goggles. The flight model used for pegasi, specifically for racing or storm weather, with rose-tinted glass. The frame was bronze, with small feather-patterns carefully engraved on the eyepieces. It was masterfully crafted, most likely with fine-tuned magic. The glass was a scarlet tint; most likely impractical, but Rainbow Dash (and admittedly Twilight) found the coloring to be appealing and suitable for the dashing pegasus.

As Rainbow Dash tugged on the pleather straps to slip the goggles on, Twilight rubbed her chin with a hoof and asked, “What’s your grandpa like? What kind of magic does he do?”

Rainbow Dash tugged the tight straps as she tried to fit it over her head before answering. “Uh, well… he casts magic on stuff and makes them do cool things, I guess?”

“Enchantments?” Twilight’s voice raised an octave in excitement.

“Yeah, whatever.” Rainbow Dash waved her off as she slipped the strap over an ear. “He makes potions like Zecora on occasion, but what he’s really good at is, blegh, feelings.” A gagging sensation rose in her throat as she thought of the time when she accidentally sipped one of her grandpa’s potions as a filly and started clinging to Fluttershy for the next few days. Nopony would let it down for weeks, especially after the net fiasco.

Twilight’s eyes widened and her mouth opened, revealing her pearly whites in a beaming smile. A foreboding shudder ran down Rainbow’s spine as Twilight opened her jaws to speak.

“What kind of feelings? Empathy magic is complex, especially involving—”

“Love,” Rainbow Dash spat, heat rising in her cheeks. “Love, okay? Mushy, gushy stuff Rarity likes and all that. Gramps did some other stuff too, but he always talked about being a charmer—”

Twilight couldn’t help but giggle at the pun. She tried concealing her smile with a hoof, but Rainbow Dash’s ears flopped to her side and she merely rolled her eyes.

“-and whatever. Anyway, he was a little weird. Not Discord-weird, but pretty weird.”

Twilight sat on her haunches and cocked her head to the side. “Huh, I remember Cadence has magic like that, but I’ve never heard of a normal unicorn able to use amoromancy,” she muttered to herself.

“Wazzat?” Rainbow Dash almost had the tight goggles on, but one of the eye frames caught on her eyebrow and made it difficult to maneuver with her hooves. A task that drowned out Twilight’s musing. Twilight opened her mouth to repeat herself...

Knock knock. A hoof beat down on the library door, hard. Rainbow Dash froze in place, worried that Applejack had found her.

“Twilight! Twilight! Can ya open up? Door’s locked again,” Applejack barked through the wooden door. Now it was Twilight’s turn to blush as she moved to unlock the door. Sometimes she got so caught up in her own studies, she forgot to open the public library. Regardless, the farmpony walked alongside Twilight into the wooden abode once the doors became open once more.

Rainbow Dash gulped as Applejack’s eyes laid upon her. The emeralds irises briefly flashed with irritation, but Applejack sighed and adjusted her stetson.

“Don’t worry sugarcube, Ah ain’t mad. Just mind yourself next time, alright?” She tipped her hat to Rainbow Dash before turning to Twilight. “Ah was wonderin’ about that book…”

Rainbow Dash, free again to struggle with the tight goggles, pulled and pulled on the constricting bands. Making a mental note to ask Rarity for some pleather, she pulled on the band in an attempt to stretch it.

“Oh, of course Applejack. I never knew you were into botany.”

“Sure thing, sugarcube. Ya have to branch out when takin’ care of trees.” Applejack’s voice caused a small twitch in Rainbow Dash’s ear, making it more difficult to slip the strap past.

Turning her head at an odd angle, Rainbow Dash heard Twilight say, “That’s great, Applejack. Fluttershy checked out the same book last week, maybe you should try gardening too.”

Rainbow Dash stifled a gag as she got an ear past the pleather band. Gardening was a filly’s hobby, definitely not cool like racing or doing awesome tricks. Her hooves fiddled with the sides of the goggles, attempting to loosen the straps as it hugged her skull.

Snap! The goggles snapped on, snug and secure. With a small adjustment of the frames for comfort, Rainbow Dash opened her eyes.

“That’s weird,” Rainbow Dash said as she looked about the library. Despite the rose tint, her vision was clear. Maybe it was her grandpa’s spell; making glass another color or something. The books, the wood, and even her friends were the same color. Nothing was off.

Twilight nervously tapped her hoof on the ground. “Well I’m sure she wouldn’t mind teaching you—”

Rainbow Dash further tuned out the conversation as she noticed something shimmering in the air, just above Twilight’s head. Getting up on all fours, she crept forward and peered up from a distance. A strange red gas hovered above Applejack and Twilight as their boring botanic conversation continued. Nonplussed, Rainbow Dash squinted her eyes.

Are those… ribbons? Rainbow Dash brought her head back as the image began to clear. A small volt of scarlet energy danced over a lens as the gassy picture focused. Hovering above the conversing mares were two dancing ribbons, diaphanous scarlet ribbons like the ones Rarity used on some of her dresses. The frilly ones in particular. Two red ribbons danced in the air, as if an unfeeling wind was blowing through the great hollowed tree. Their ends were frayed and tattered, dancing alongside each other but never touching. Tracing one with her eyes, Rainbow Dash found it twisted around Twilight’s neck, her barrel, and eventually submerged into her chest.

Examining the other one only proved the same for Applejack. Perplexed, Rainbow Dash scratched her mane. The ribbons weren’t there before, so it had to be because of the goggles. Magic goggles.

“Cool,” she muttered. Giving them a light tap out of habit, Rainbow Dash stepped forward to investigate while her friends were busy..

As soon as she came within three paces of her friends, the ribbons came to life and reacted. Before her eyes, they whipped back and forth wildly, the nonexistent wind becoming a storm as the ribbons riled up. A strange feeling of uncertainty crept through her spine as the other two mares in the room continued their conversation, oblivious to the events taking place.

The ribbons shot toward her.

Instinctively Rainbow Dash spread her wings and leaped into the air. Her reflexes were a nanosecond too slow, allowing the ribbons to grab ahold of her forelegs. Rainbow Dash pulled back in the air, her fetlocks being squeezed by the strange ropes. Grunting and gasping, she fluttered backwards with all her wing power, pulling on her legs as the ribbons slithered against her coat.

“Is something wrong, Rainbow Dash?” A voice cut through her thoughts. Opening her eyes, stressful tears forming in her ducts, her vision revealed a concerned Twilight and Applejack standing underneath.

“Uh… a little help, guys?” Rainbow Dash gave one last tug and managed to release her hooves. Before the ribbons could latch themselves on her once more, she batted them away and began flying evasive maneuvers.

Applejack shook her head. “Ah have no idea what’s going on in that strange head of yours. Ya alright?”

Twilight repeated herself. “Are you okay? Your flight pattern was… odd.” Indeed, watching a pony fight invisible ribbons was a strange sight to behold, even to a unicorn used to such strange sights. Rainbow Dash began flying in circles and loops around the library. “Why are you flying like that?”

Rainbow Dash looked over her shoulder as she began to pick up speed, two deadly ribbons in hot pursuit. “Um, it’d be nice if you’d stop chasing me right about now!” One ribbon wrapped around her wing joint, forcing her to a dead stop. Rainbow Dash screeched as pain shot through her wing and spine, reactively bucking and ignoring her friends’ loud concerns.

“That’s it!” She turned her head and bit into the relentless ribbon while snatching its approaching partner-in-crime with her hooves. Her teeth gnawed until foam gathered in her jaw, eventually tearing through the aetheral fabric and allowing her to grab it with her hooves. With impish anger and a crazed smile on her lips, she moved her hooves about in several, deliberate motions and tied the ribbons together. Once satisfied, she backed off and admired the two ribbons struggle back and forth against one another in their twisted knot.

Until a flash of crimson light appeared, momentarily blinding Rainbow Dash.

She raised her forelegs to shield her eyes, but the light only lasted a brief moment. Rainbow Dash blinked and rubbed the goggles, astonished at the sight. The two ribbons, previously binded together, were now one and connecting her grounded friends below. Her eyes slowly traced the silky, scarlet ribbon down to the chests of her friends. Friends who had previously been engrossed in conversation. Friends who had been shouting cries of concern during her magical struggle. Friends who were now making out.

Friends who were making out?!

Rainbow Dash hovered above, her forelegs dangling at her sides and her jaw hanging low at the sight.

Twilight was the first to pull away, leaving a trail of saliva from her tongue and nibbling Applejack’s bottom lip on the way. “That, that was amazing,” she whispered as she placed her forehead against her partner’s, her horn touching the brim of the stetson hat, eliciting an approving purr from the cowpony. “Friendship really is magic.”

Applejack sighed and moved her head to the side, brushing her cheek against Twilight’s. “Sugarcube, Ah don’t think it’s friendship we got here. Ah think” -Applejack moved her head back, creating eye contact with gleaming emerald eyes- “this is darn tootin’ true love, gosh darn it. Now give momma a wet one, ya hooter!” With that said, she abruptly leaned forward, interrupting Twilight's response, and forced her plump lips onto lavender.

“Mmph! Mmm…” Twilight moaned and opened her lips ever so slightly, allowing Applejack’s tongue entrance into her warm cheeks.

“Mmm…” Applejack wrapped a hoof around Twilight’s neck, bringing her closer still. Their chests rubbed against each other, making small pink sparks from their threads. After several heartbeats, seemingly forever, as if Cronos himself had stopped time to watch the two lovers, Applejack finally pulled back. Panting and sweating from their loving embrace, she leaned forward and set her chin on Twilight's shoulder. The librarian followed suit and rested on the toned shoulder of her lover, sweating as her cheeks blushed.

“Oh. My. Gosh. Applejack!” Twilight said in between breaths, her heart fluttering like a butterfly in a hurricane. “I—I think—I think I love you!”

The words echoed through the hollowed tree, leaving the atmosphere completely silent afterwards. Not even Rainbow Dash, flapping her wings and observing the events in a stupefied daze, could utter a single word and break the silence. Only Applejack’s careful movement could cut through the tension.

She brought her hoof up and caressed Twilight’s cheek, bringing it up to her ear and caressing it as well. “Oh sugarcube, Ah’ve been waiting mah entire life for ya to say that. Why… Ah… Ah… Ah want you to come with me to the farm! Come to the Apple farm, as an Apple!” She slid her hoof back, resting it on Twilight’s cheek as it’s scarlet blush grew brighter and brighter against her dark coat.

Twilight placed her hoof on top of Applejack’s, accepting the show of affection. She lightly nuzzled against it and replied, “Oh, Applejack. Aren’t I already an honorary Apple? I—”

“No!” Applejack shifted her hoof to Twilight’s chin, drawing the mare’s face against her own. “Yer not just an Apple, yer mah Apple! Mah Sparklin’ Apple!”

Twilight’s entire face, even through her dark coat, was engulfed in a scarlet hue as her blush exploded alongside her heart of hearts. Consumed in the fires of passionate emotion, the lovestruck mare could only purr and brush her side and flanks against her mate as the two trotted together and out the door, their conjoined ribbon forming a breezy heart above the two destined lovers.

Rainbow Dash lightly touched down on the floor and sat on her haunches, her mind racing at the implications of the recent turn of events. Hooves shaking, teeth chattering, she lifted the goggles off her head with little difficulty and placed them on her lap. The rose glass shined in the light as Rainbow Dash’s eyes grew dull with shock. She rubbed her eyes, lifting the fog of confusion from her mind.

“Whoa…” she muttered as she stood up on all fours. “Did—did that just happen?” The goggle strap hung on her hoof, allowing her to lift it to her eyes. Her magenta eyes slowly regained their shimmer as a smirk inched its way into the corners of her lips. “Whatever it was… it was AWESOME!”

Snickering to herself, Rainbow Dash turned to the door. She placed a hoof on her chin, mocking contemplative thought. “I wonder what Rarity’s doing.” -she snorted humorously- “ Well, I know what she WILL be doing!” With another impish cackle, the rainbowed racer dashed out the door, a devious plan indeed formulating in her devilish mind. A devious plan indeed; devious, with a dash of pink.

Revenge was a dish best served cold, served with a side of pie. Pinkie Pie, as Rainbow Dash had learned from their run-in with her old friend Gilda. Rainbow Dash had plans for Rarity and she needed Pinkie Pie’s help. Her goal in mind and a daring smirk, Rainbow Dash soared through the air in search of Ponyville’s number one serial prankster.

Early afternoon meant lunch, and lunch meant a busy marketplace. The town’s streets were bustling, which meant ponies. Lots of ponies. Lots of ponies meant…

“That’s a lot of ribbons,” Rainbow Dash muttered to herself, slightly slack jawed as she surveyed the area below. Every mare, every stallion, and even the occasional teenager had the strange aetheral ribbon protruding from their chest. Rainbow Dash was by no means a scholar like Twilight, but even she had her curiosity taken hostage by the surreal phenomenon.

A few other pegasi passed by, along with a few clouds, bickering about a mistaken address and a garden. Rainbow Dash hovered nearby to observe their ribbons: two stallions’ seemed to be darting around each other for dominance as a single mare’s floated freely. Neither of the three pegasi noticed, lacking the magic sight Rainbow Dash had inherited.

Wait a minute, Rainbow Dash thought as she trailed behind the delivery ponies. While she wasn’t an egghead like Twilight, and she couldn’t help but notice a pattern. Whenever the brown stallion (whose name she couldn’t remember) yelled at the other (Thunderlane?), his ribbon would jab at the other’s. The mare, Blossomforth from what Rainbow Dash remembered, dragged the cloud with a blissful grin on her face.

None of the ribbons seemed to notice her.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes at the senseless bickering and continued onward to Sugarcube Corner. Her stomach growled its approval. Food, Pinkie Pie, and then the best prank ever!

“Rainbow Dash!”

Thoughts of cupcakes filled the ravenous Rainbow Dash’s mind, causing her to drift in the sky while salivating. Pinkie Pie made the best cupcakes ever. What are in those cupcakes anyway? she mused to herself as she flapped her powerful wings rhythmically. There has to be some super secret ingre—

“RAINBOW DASH!”

Rainbow Dash’s wings jerked, instinctively pulling to a complete stop as the shout tore through her thoughts. She looked down at a waving pony at the flower stall. Apparently Roseluck was in business for the lunch rush. Not wanting to be rude, she flew down and landed in front of the mare. Strangely enough, Roseluck lacked a ribbon.

“Uh, hi?” Not seeing any reason to have them on, Rainbow Dash flipped her goggles off. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to ask if you could tell the lovely couple congratulations for me?” Roseluck smiled and reached for a bouquet of flowers before handing them to Rainbow Dash. “And give them these myrtles, they’ve earned it.”

Rainbow Dash took the flowers in surprise. “Twilight and Applejack? They came here? I thought they were at the barn or something.”

“I’m sure they are.” Roseluck stifled a giggle and hid a knowing smirk. “They came to pick up honeysuckle and lavender, but I wanted to give them these on the house. It is a life changing experience, after all.”

“Uh, yeah. That’s cool,” Rainbow Dash shuffled her hooves anxiously, wanting to fly and find Pinkie Pie already after eating. She hardly remembered Roseluck beyond the occasional snack; the sky, not the garden, was her thing. She flicked her tail in impatience, waiting for the flower mare to let her go.

Roseluck scratched her head and rubbed her hoof against her ear. “Speaking of lavender, I have some violets for you if you’re hungry. They’re your favorite, right?”

A stomach’s growl was all the answer she needed.“Uh, yeah.”

Not wanting to be rude, Rainbow Dash exchanged a couple spare bits for a few violets. Saying her (awkward) goodbyes, she turned away to leave the stall, munching on her delicious violets. She turned back once to scan the market one last time, briefly flipping her goggles on, and observed a new stallion approaching Roseluck’s flower stall. Curiously enough, her ribbon was now showing. Weird.

With nothing to do but search and eat, she resumed her snacking. Rainbow Dash loved violets. Enough to drool over. Enough to moan while she chewed. Enough to become so engrossed in her consumption that her mind went completely blank, save for the euphoric bliss of floral ambrosia and nectar. She hardly noticed a flash of yellow she bumped past, and a miniscule squeak.

One bouquet buffet later, the ravenous racer found herself in front of Sugarcube Corner, at last. Nibbling on her last petal, Rainbow Dash pushed the door open with her free hoof and walked inside. Mrs Cake, currently manning the counter waved and shouted a warm greetng.

“Rainbow Dash! Hello!” she smiled, holding up a hoof. “Please wait just a moment!” Reaching under the counter for a random object, she popped back up a moment later with a small box she held out to Rainbow Dash. “Here you go, on the house! I hope Applejack loves it!”

Taking the box, Rainbow Dash’s perked up as she tucked it away. “What’s in it…?”

“Oh, you know.” Mrs. Cake waved her off. “A gift. Weren’t you coming here for it anyway? Pinkie Pie had me prepare it just for you, saying you would probably forget like always. Then again, this is the first time any of her friends—”

“Yeah yeah,” Rainbow Dash interrupted, turning her head to and fro as she became antsy. “Where’s Pinkie anyway? I came here for her, not for some box. Er, no offense.”

Mrs. Cake smiled, giving off a motherly warmth. “No worries, dear. As for Pinkie Pie, I believe she was waiting for you.”

“Alright, where is she? Upstairs?”

Mrs. Cake opened her mouth to reply, but immediately closed it. Instead of speaking, she briefly ducked underneath the counter. Before Rainbow Dash could stand up and peer over the counter, she popped back up with a confused expression. Mrs. Cake turned her head to the left and looked over her shoulder, then turning around and walking to the kitchen to poke her head inside. Returning to the front counter, she took her gaze up to the ceiling, murmuring to herself. “Strange, she always pops up at the right times.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “That’s Pinkie for you. So I guess I should head upstairs?”

“By all means,” Mrs. Cake agreed with a slight nod. “Have a good time, dear. And do tell Pinkie Pie to take a break, poor girl might overwork herself in her frenzy.”

Frenzy? Rainbow Dash thought as she climbed up the stairs, feeling a pair of eyes following her. She would have flown, but that might have been seen as rude. Not to mention she was on guard for booby traps. Pinkie Pie was only pony in Ponyville who was more prepared than she was. Then again, Rainbow Dash didn’t need to be prepared for anything. Because she was that awesome.

Pinkie’s bedroom was the same as she last remembered, despite the materials lying about and the distinct lack of the party pony, a thought that Rainbow Dash pondered. Balloon bedsheets, actual balloons, cupcake dresser, actual cupcakes, many pink colors, but no Pinkie. An odd observation, Rainbow Dash assumed. The record player in the corner was derelict, strange considering that paper, frills, and frosting littered the ground. She moved inside, her hoof stepping on something squishy and wet; lifting it revealed pink frosting. Rainbow Dash briefly licked it before wiping it off, then finished walking completely inside the room.

Pinkie Pie was well known for the partying lifestyle, despite having an average figure that made many a mare jealous, even if her flanks were a bit plump. Even so, Pinkie Pie’s bedroom was the epithet for cleanliness and order; she always made sure to clean up no matter the partying mess she made. The strange, chaotic mess was alien to Rainbow Dash, for no mare was supervising. Pinkie Pie always cleaned up, otherwise nopony would tolerate her antics so.

Rainbow Dash shuffled through the piles and piles of junk and litter, glitter and paper galore. White envelopes, embroidered with small gems, sparkles, and scribbles covered the ground. One in particular caught her eye.

Dear Shining Armor,

“Well, isn’t that something?” Rainbow Dash said with a sly grin. “What are you writing to him for, Pinkie?” She tipped the letter over, revealing titled to Cadence as well. Well, that certainly narrows it down, she thought with a grimace. Thoughts and images of blackmail dissipated. Shifting through the other envelopes, she saw more and more names of various ponies from Ponyville as well as other settlements, including Canterlot.

Rainbow Dash continued to pry, muttering, “Braeburn, Velvet, Babs, Flas—No, wait, that one’s ripped out. Huh.” She tossed the letters back as she leaned a foreleg against the soft bed. “Why is Pinkie inviting so many ponies? Must be some big party she’s planning.” Shrugging, Rainbow Dash turned away and started trotting to the door. “Whelp, guess she’s not here. Might as well catch lunch and a nap!”

Ooomph!

Her hero instincts kicked in: Rainbow Dash’s ears, wings, and tail shot straight in alert. Narrowing her eyes, she turned on the spot, crouching into a fighting stance.

Again, nothing.

Gradually relaxing her tensed muscles, she scratched the top of her head. “Huh, that’s weird. I could’ve sworn I heard—”

”Ooomph!”

On the reiteration of the muffled cry of help, Rainbow Dash’s ears pinpointed it to the one place she hadn’t looked, usually the first place a pegasus would look. Up.

Craning her neck to peer upwards, a nonsensical sight met her eyes: Pinkie Pie, her legs completely pressed against her body in a self-made cocoon, was attached to the ceiling by her tail. Her mouth was uncovered, yet only murmurs of help could escape the fair lips. Rainbow Dash didn’t wait another beat.

Her wings flared out in instinct as she vaulted into the air to the rescue of her friend. She hovered next to Pinkie Pie and began pulling on the mare, going as far as to turn upside-down. Wrapping her forelegs around Pinkie Pie’s barrel, Rainbow Dash grunted and flapped her wings as hard as she could. The edges of her vision tinted red as she exerted more energy, fire burning in her wing joints. Pinkie Pie squeaked as pressure built on her tail, tears building at her ducts.

Taking in a deep breathe and expanding her chest, Rainbow Dash prepared for one final tug. She pushed with her wings and pulled with her four rigid legs. The sweat of the two mares began to lubricate their fur, causing Rainbow Dash’s limbs to slide. She held on tighter, grunting as a vein in her forehead pulsed, only to slip as her lungs burnt out. Her grip released, she catapulted to the floor and Rainbow crashed.

Her vision swam and her temples pounded with pain. Rainbow Dash sat up from the stack of letters that had cushioned her fall and rubbed her head. Her goggles, in the impact, had slid off her forehead and onto her eyes. She blinked and groggily leaned back as the scarlet lens let off sparks.

Well, Rainbow thought with a bite of her lip, that’s Pinkie Pie for you.

Somehow, somehow that only she could possibly pull off, Pinkie Pie was strapped to the ceiling by her own velvety thread. The ribbon, protruding from her chest, wrapped around her body and binding her legs; the end of it was intertwined with her tail and tightly wrapped around the light fixture above. To add a cherry on top of the Pie, the ribbon was conveniently wrapped around her muzzle, providing an invisible gag.

Finished staring, Rainbow Dash rolled off the stack of paper and onto her four legs. Her aching wings stretched out to recover as she perused the ground for a sharp object. Her muzzle poked and prodded through the piles of decorative junk and junk food, until something cool bumped against her nose.

Well that’s convenient. Rainbow Dash took the pair of scissors delicately inside her mouth as she hopped into the air to reattempt her rescue. Hovering next to the suspended Pinkie, Rainbow Dash took the scissors in her hoof and mouth and placed them as high up the pink, bushy tail she could. Unfortunate, even lined up with the ribbon as much as possible, some tail was going to be caught in the cross-snip. Oh well. Rainbow Dash shrugged and closed the scissors.

Snip!

Quick as a hawk, Rainbow Dash tucked into a dive and caught Pinkie Pie before she became gravity’s mistress. Spreading her wings out into a neat glide, Rainbow Dash floated down and lightly set Pinkie down as she landed. Pinkie Pie let out a muffled squeak as she landed and began wiggling to free herself, only calming down once Rainbow Dash rested a hoof on her belly and gave a brief rub of comfort.

Leaning down and taking the scissors in her hooves, she began to work on releasing the still bound damsel. The red ribbon, taught and unable to attack her like her previous encounter, was a struggle to clip at her chosen point. Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed as she examined the ribbon for the first time up close.

The ribbon was thin near the base of Pinkie’s tail, but gradually grew thicker the closer it came to her chest, where it was as thick as her foreleg. Taking the easier route, Rainbow Dash snipped the thinner sections wrapped around Pinkie. One near Pinkie’s hind legs (snip!) and two at her forelegs [i[(snip! snip!). Rainbow shifted her hooves to leaned down near Pinkie’s muzzle to snip the last restricting ribbon, but the party mare began to shift in place. The ribbon uncoiled and slithered off her body, leaving a smiling Pinkie a breathe away from Rainbow.

“Hi,” Pinkie Pie said, batting her eyelashes and nearly out of breathe. Rainbow Dash’s ears grew hot, but she kept her cool and backed off.

“Yeah, hi.” Lending a hoof to her recovering friend, Rainbow Dash stepped back and helped Pinkie up.

Pinkie Pie stood up and held a hoof to her chest, panting with her tongue hanging out. While it would take a normal pony a few minutes to catch her breath, it took Pinkie approximately five seconds. The volume of her mane returned and her blue eyes regained their gloss. Pinkie gasped, taking in an exaggerated breath, and began.

“OhmygodRainbowDash! I got invited to set up the best party ever for Twilight and Applejack and they want me to be their best party mare and I was just finishing the last invitation but got tired because I finished the really really big cake and frosted it but then Mr. Cake got sick so he went to bed and I had to finish all on my own so I kinda got tired and fell asleep in my room and woke up on the ceiling when you saved me! Oh! APPLEJACK AND TWILIGHT ARE GETT—Mmph mmph!”

Rainbow Dash waited for her ears to stop ringing before she retracted her hoof from Pinkie’s motormouth. Setting it down and wiping it on the carpet, a grin grew under her devilish eyes. “Hey Pinkie, wanna take a break and help me with the best prank ever?”