Atonement

A/N: Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been uploading a lot lately, just goin through a bit of a rough patch at the moment. Anyway, this chapter was written over a farily long period of time, so if you notice any kind of change in the writting, that'd be why. Hope you guys enjoy the new chapter, and have a nice day!

I gripped him by the shoulders and held him up, as his strength had left him. He’d finished emptying his stomach all over the floor, and had proceeded to sobbing and muttering incoherently. I was at my wits end, so I slapped him across the face. Again. “The hell was that for!? Can’t you see I feel like shit right now!?”

“I do see that, I just don’t care. At the party, before you changed but after you killed the DJ, you said something. I think it was ‘I wrote about this’?” I said, and he nodded in understanding.

“Y-yeah… It’s something I’ve been working on for a while… S-self insert, human in Equestria, shit like that…..” he said. Outwardly I remained calm, but on the inside I was seething.

“Tell me about the story.”

“W-what?”

“Tell me about the damn story boy. My patience wears thin, and this is too much to be mere coincidence.” I said. He nodded furiously before seeming to delve into thought.

“W-well, basically the story is about me dieing”

“How.”

“Is that really”

“I won’t ask again. How?” he stopped for a moment, seeming to contemplate telling the truth or lying to me.

“Overdose. I smoked a shit ton of weed, did a few shots, took what I thought was Advil, and blacked out.” he said, and the light that flickered in his eyes told me he was being truthful. “The rest, I think you can figure out.” he was being rather calm now, considering the circumstances, but it was nothing I hadn’t expected. There was nothing to hide now. He had nothing to fear.

“I can, but where does the tale go from here boy?” I asked. The future was unknown to all but those who wrote it, and it was a rare chance to meet someone who did so literally. With the circumstances I wouldn’t pass up the chance to know what was coming.

“W-well, there’s a lot of minor things,” he started, obviously nervous again. Knowing the bit about Rainbow and liquor, I didn’t blame him. “but the important things are me being forced to help turn Discord back to stone, since I fucked up and let him out, so I get a bunch of armor and a sword and stuff like that, we go to find him, get mind fucked into a maze”

“I know these things, but how does it end?” I said, getting impatient. I knew these things all too well, and didn’t want to dwell on them too much at that moment. “And what is my part in this story?” He seemed confused then, as if the answer to my questions eluded him.

“I don’t know.” he said flatly, starring off into space for a second. “I have no idea how it ends….” he looked at me and pointed, as if I didn’t belong. “But you, you have nothing to do with this. Why are you here?” I sighed, releasing him and backing up slowly. Step after step, the sound of my boots hitting marble resounded throughout the chamber. When I finally stopped, I’d decided on what to tell him. You’d think a few hundred years would help me come up with something for that question, but it didn’t.

“I’m here to make sure you don’t fuck up any more, and if you do, I’ll kill you. Plain and simple. I’ve explained this way too much today, so if anyone else asks what my plan is,” I pointed to Twilight, who had just been observing the entire exchange and taking notes. “You’ll explain it to them. Be as wordy as you want, I don’t care.” I said, sighing heavily. I was still so tired, my arms felt like lead. I felt a simple urge to kill the boy and be done with it, but I fought it back, knowing that as thin as my patience was I had to keep my composure. I began walking away, feeling a need for fresh air and space.

“Where are you going? And why do I have to explain it to the others?” Twilight asked, making me stop in my tracks. I didn’t turn around, nor did I answer. I simply kept walking, taking the steps one at a time as time seemed to slow, and ponies I remembered from throughout the centuries all rushed up and down them at the same time, some yelling in fear, others clad in armor and carrying spears, others still seeming to be mindless drones carrying out their masters will. It was amazing, honestly. I never paid them much mind, but now I could see every detail. Every scar, every tear, every wrinkle on their face. I felt the pain of hundreds of years catching up to me.

But right as it was about to hit with a force that could cripple me, it was over. The ghosts were gone. I was alone on the marble staircase once more, and the only sound I heard was my own breathing as I stood motionless. I was so close to the outside world, to the fresh air I so desperately needed.

I started climbing again, hurrying to reach the solace of the night sky as I tore the mask from my face, feeling claustrophobic for the first time since I was young. I felt my demons wrap their fingers around my throat as I reached the end of the steps, breaking out into a full ran down the corridor. The door seemed miles away and getting further as I ran, and the claws of my past had started to squeeze, stealing from me my very essence. When I finally burst through the door, I quickly shut it behind me, finding myself on the ramparts of the castle.

Breathing heavily, I tried to find my “happy place”, the place in my mind where nothing haunted me, where my ghosts no longer sought to steal my breath from my lungs to fuel their sirens song. As I caught my breath, I found a place to sit, my legs dangling over the ramparts as I lit a cigarette, exhaling the smoke as I rubbed my face and set my mask down next to me.

“That’s not healthy, you know.” I whipped my head around to find Discord himself sitting to my left, looking almost….. Sad.

“Yeah. I know.” I replied, turning my gaze to the city of Canterlot, which seemed surprisingly peaceful. “Can I ask you a question?”

“If you give me one of those, sure.” he said. I laughed half-heartedly, handing him one out of my pack. We sat there for a moment, silent, both inhaling and exhaling smoke that did nothing to our bodies. “So, what do you want to know?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.

“How do you do it?” he seemed caught of guard by this, and he stopped the rhythmic motion of smoking.

“What do you mean?” he replied after a moment, never averting his gaze from the city below.

“How do you handle being what you are? A being of chaos, anarchy, and suffering?” I asked, making him sigh.

“In truth, I don’t.” he said, taking a slow drag on his cigarette. “I try to pretend that it’s all fun and games to me. That I don’t care, and honestly, some of the things I bring I do find enjoyable.” he chuckled slightly. “As a kid, I always wished it would rain chocolate, so there was that last time. And the cotton candy clouds were nice too.” he said, a sad smile on his face. “How do you handle it?” he asked, and it was my turn to sigh. I knew he’d know, as like minds are drawn to each other.

“I try to restrain myself. I keep my chaos locked away inside my heart until I actually need it.” I chuckled a little bit, thinking for a moment. “I also do a lot of writing in my spare time.” I sighed again, tossing the spent remains of my pointless habit from the walls to the city below. “So, how exactly did you attain the power to make your dream come true?” I asked, and again he fell silent. I looked over, and saw slight trails of moisture running through the fur of his face towards his chin.

“It is a long story, and not a very happy one.” he explained.

“I’ve got time. And besides,” I said, taking a moment to sigh again, but more heavily. “what true story is ever happy?”