Equestrian Sex Party

by lolcatsmanseven

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Crossover, Human, Main 6
Length: 1082

Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian go to Equestria!

After Ninja Brian kills literally everyone in the world, Danny Sexbang uses his unicorn wizard powers to bring the two of them to Equestria! Watch as Danny goes after every female somewhat alive! After all, he doesn't call himself the worlds greatest lover for nothing!

Published 2013-11-22 16:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-22 16:40:04 UTC

Chapter 1

“You’re probably thinking to yourself: Ninja Sex Party you’re awesome!” The curly haired man said as his hips gyrated wildly in a vague approximation of a hip thrust. “We know, but that’s nice of you to say!”

Twilight Sparkle had thought she’d seen everything, been prepared for anything. After all, she and her friends had defeated Nightmare Moon, saving all of Equestria, and she herself was the prized pupil of Princess Celestia Herself. Despite her confidence, she had not been prepared for these two freaks of nature to suddenly appear in front of her in a burst of magic.

“Well, you’ve finally done it Ninja Brian. There is nothing left to stick my dick into, I mean, beautiful girls in need of a knight in shining armor.”

Danny Sexbang was wearing his trademark blue unitard with red star in the center of his chest, and his cape with white fur lining flapped dramatically behind him as he sighed at Ninja Brian. His partner was an average sized white male, whose only known features were his piercing blue eyes. The reason his appearance was mainly unknown was because of his omnipresent mask. Indeed, the only skin one could see of his was around his eyes, and his forearms. Danny tried to frown, before smiling while saying, “Aww, you know I can’t stay mad at you.”

He was somehow able to look past the raised middle finger his so called friend, Ninja Brian, had stuck in his face, while choking the last other person left alive on earth with a single hand. Ninja Brian did not like to share Danny with anyone else, not that he liked Danny much either. Over the course of a single whirlwind year, Ninja Brian had killed literally everything (and everyone) else in the entire world, save for the two of them.

The partnership was currently standing in what could best be described as a wasteland. It was a desolate field, with the grass burnt to the point of crumbling at the merest contact. There were scattered dead bodies of people all around the field, some of them fresh enough to have blood still trickling out of holes that shouldn’t be there.

“...” Said Ninja Brain, as he stared directly at the reader, murderous intent in his eyes and a murderous knife in his hands. Danny Sexbang seemed not to notice this, as he continued, saying, “Well, pattern recognition has never been my strong suit, so I guess I’ll have to use my Unicorn Wizard powers to teleport us to a world full of beautiful women!”

Danny struck a dramatic pose upon stating his intentions, with his legs spread and his arms raised high. It was clear that he had a massive erection, the spandex of his pants pushing outward in a manner best described as similar to a tent. Danny paused a moment, wondering why he had a boner at such an inopportune moment, before shrugging. After all, there was no girls around to make uncomfortable. Clapping his hands slightly above his huge erection, there was a burst of sparkles and a wizard’s robes had appeared draped across his shoulders and a unicorn horn on his head. “After all, such a matter is trivial for someone as powerful as me! Come Princess Handjob, for we must-” He stopped his rather short monologue at the request of Ninja Brian, who had made that request by way of shoving his knee forcefully into Danny’s massive erection.

Danny rolled around on the ground, with his hands pressed tightly against his aching boner. He was embarrassed to admit it, but his erection grew even larger with the pain. He got burnt grass all inside his clothes, and his eyes watered, both from the pain and the knowledge that his clothes would be itchy until he changed them. Danny laid on the ground, cupping his penis while also trying to pull out some of the hay that had worked its way into his ass.

After a short pause, which Danny would like to point out was less than twenty minutes, he regained his feet with very few tears streaming down his face. Glancing sidelong at Ninja Brian, who was just staring into the camera, Danny began his spell, albeit with his hands still holding, and dare I say caressing, his injured package.

“Teleporto!” Danny screamed!

And nothing happened. Danny looked at Ninja Brian, before shrugging. “I guess it didn’t wo---!” He cut off the word ‘work’ as he spun around. After noticing nothing changed, he turned back to Ninja Brian and said, “DAMMIT! I was sure that would work. I mean, you know how it is Ninja Brian. If you’re in a movie, which I think we are, then whenever someone says that something didn’t work, it’ll suddenly work! But I guess we’re not in a movie...”

His shoulders sagged as his head bowed. He sighed heavily, before an idea reinvigorate him completely. “Ninja Brian! Use your magic powers to take us to a land of beautiful women!”

Ninja Brian just rolled his eyes, and the two vanished.

They reappeared in a library, right behind a startled purple unicorn. Well, startled is putting it lightly, too lightly in fact. It would be more correct to say that she was losing her shit. Understandable, considering the circumstances.

She had been reading a book, a book about dancing to be precise, when she had heard a soft pop. She had assumed Spike had popped a balloon or something, so she had turned around to scold him. Twilight instead saw two monkeys wearing silly outfits standing behind her. She was too shocked for words, as was the one with the curly mane.

The two of them, Twilight and Danny, appeared to be mirror images of each other, as both stared at the other with their mouth agape. At the same moment, as if reading each other’s minds and wishing to copy them, they began circling each other. There was one difference in their behavior, though. Whereas Twilight’s eyes began taking in every aspect of Danny’s body, Danny was staring solely, and completely, at Twilight’s flank. After a moment, they stopped, and stared at each other anew. Finally Danny decided to break the silence.

“Brian! How did you know I had a thing for ponies?”

Author's Note

Yeah this is super short, but I am just wondering if there is any interest at all in this story. I certainly hope there is.