Melchizedek

by Super Trampoline

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery
Length: 1169

Before Nightmare moon, before King Sombra, before Discord, before Equestria, before the three tribes, before the royal sisters, I am. And tonight, I visit a very special somepony. It's her birthday after all.

(dis)Like what you read? Tell me why! ~Super

Twilight Sparkle is turning 37. And what does she do on her 37th birthday? The same thing she has done every year since she was 29: disguise herself, go to a bar, talk to the patrons, and get drunk. But this time, somepony is waiting for her there.

Idea of "Shield of Boringness" lovingly borrowed with permission from the excellent comic "Heavenly Nostrils" by Dana Simpson

Published 2013-11-27 04:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-01 04:58:52 UTC

Her

"I know right? So then, so then my friend is like 'Oatmeal? Are you CRAZY?!?'" The ponies within earshot of this apparently hilarious punchline erupted in laughter. Twilight smiled. She needed to do this more often.

You see, Twilight Sparkle had a birthday tradition. Though distance and time separated them, she always made sure to meet with her Ponyville friends on her birthday. They all made space for it in their calendars. Later however, after they had left, or in Rainbow's case (living so far away), crashed on the couch, she had another tradition. She got drunk. Not by herself of course. That would be kind of stupid unless you're moping about a breakup. No, she liked to hear what the common people had to say about her, HONESTLY, so she disguised herself as a pegasus and went bar hoping. Celestia wasn't incredibly fond of this approach to information gathering, and it had led to several diplomatic crises in the past, but she understood her former student had the right and competence to make her own decisions and stupid birthday traditions. She just prayed to herself there were no multivariable calculus-related brawls this time.

Twilight's disguise was perfunctory, but it did the job. She shed her horn (which was always a weird feeling, especially since she usually gripped glasses with her magic) and inverted her color scheme. She was now an olive-coated pegasus, whom she gave the persona of, appropriately enough, Olive Garnish.

Totes mad MS Paint skills, right?

Olive Garnish was a tourist from the south sightseeing in Canterlot. She also happened to be newly single after a traumatic break up which was clearly not at all her fault. Of course, the moment Twilight first related this made-up backstory to Rarity, the mare instantly called out her friend for trying to pick up stallions. Twilight would neither confirm nor deny this accusation.

At any rate, she had her spiel down pat, and if anything enjoyed this role playing as a chance to escape from royal duties. And she might have even gotten a telegraph extension number or two. But her main purpose, besides relaxing and getting drunk, was to do a sort of annual survey of her people's opinions on her. It was an informal survey with lots of room for errors and personal bias, but this was a fact that Twilight had long ago realized didn't matter if she was significantly hammered. In a brilliant example of business acumen, she had inasmuch even managed to secure a royal stipend for alcohol consumption, under the pretense that she was better at gathering this information under the influence. Luna got the same sort of stipend for visiting Ponyville on Nightmare Night too, with the justification of "Tequilas loosen me up. Wouldn't want me banishing anypony to moon, now would we Tia?" Celestia could afford a few bits here and there disappearing from the books, if Luna didn't reveal her cake infatuation. It was an arrangement that benefited all involved, except for the taxpayers.

So Twilight got free alcohol and honest opinions, and Equestria got a more informed princess. Here, on her thirty seventh birthday, it seemed another year of this polling would come to pass, when he appeared.

A Visit to the Castle

...yesterday afternoon...

He was a gentlestallion through and through, so he got Celestia's attention the old-fashioned way: he waited his turn. When he reached the front of the line, he smiled and said hello. Thanks to his cloaking of sorts, most ponies didn't seem to care that there he was waiting in line to petition the princess, but Celestia of course saw right through his shield of boringness. She took one look at him, and smiled a deeply knowing smile. "Long time no see, old friend."

She raised her hoof and he shook it. "Likewise. How long has it been? Fifteen years? Too long at any rate."

"You know you're always welcome here. Although I am holding court right now. Think we perhaps could catch up later?"

"Of course your majesty, I understand."

"Please Mel, we're both royalty here. Just call me Celestia. You know that."

He grinned. "What ever suits you Tia. Where and when would you like to meet?"

"If you want to hang around here, I'll be done with this in about an hour. Nay, actually, go explore Canterlot, I know how you like exploring. Meet me at the garden gate at 7:30 tonight. And welcome back."

"Thanks. It feels good. See you later alligator." He again shook her hoof, and then departed her presence, the room, and the castle, to visit a favorite bookstore of his for a few hours.

At 7:41 (He was late on account of having to tear himself away from a most excellent illustrated story which he regretted he had not the bits for. He vowed to get some currency exchanged with Celestia.), Melchizedek trotted up to the garden gate and knocked with a cutesy pattern he was not at all ashamed of. "Who's there?" an alto voice sounded. Sounded familiar, that is.

"It's Melchizedek."

"Melchizedek whooo-oooo?" she sing-songed. It took him a few seconds, but he was able to place the voice.

He sighed. "Luna, it's me. You know I don't have a last name."

Immediately the large door swung heavily open and inward, and he barely had time to prepare himself before a blue ball of fur slammed into him, pinning him in a hug.

"Oh my gosh Chizzy my friend! I thought-I thought I would never see you again! Tia told me of your return. Oh I am so so so so glad you are here. I-I-I..."

She let go of him. "I thought I had lost a friend."

He smiled and gave her a second, gentler hug in return. "Me too. I'm so glad you're back. So very glad."

They unwrapped from each other, and he began to trot through the entryway. Luna was surprised. "Pray tell, comrade, where do you think you're going?"

"Well," he replied as she cantered to catch up with him, "I imagine we will be be meeting in the auxillary tea room, where Celestia typically greets foreign dignitaries is it not?"

Luna looked somewhat baffled. "I-but... yes, but well... how did you know that? And are you aware of its location within these castle walls?"

He gave her a sad, sad look, as they passed some guards positioned at the doorway they crossed under. "I'm so so sorry Luna. But you were gone a thousand years. I was not. I daresay I know these walls better than you."

Luna looked crestfallen. "Yes, I suppose this is true. BUT! 'Tis no time for sadness-sodden reflections. I'm sure Celly is eager to catch up with you, and I a hundred times more so! To the tea room!" she declared. She galloped down a hall in a flash and was gone.

Melchizedek giggled and grinned. "Nope, she hasn't changed." And he walked off to join her.