Hell's Bells

"Explain!" Scootaloo bellowed again, spreading her wings and stomping a hoof onto the carpet.

"Scootaloo!" Cried another mare with a white coat, green eyes, purple-and-pink curly mane and tail, and swirled heart cutie mark. She was a unicorn. "If it's hard for her to explain, then leave her alone!"

"Alright, Sweetie Belle..." Scootaloo sighed, letting her wings drop. Her ears dropped flat as well, but quickly perked up as another bloody shriek shook the entire house.

"I hope for the love of GodCat that isn't my own mother." Fang snarled as yet another pained cry hit his ears.

"It isn't, because by now all the windows would break," Rarity pointed out.

A blue cat that had no legs and two tails instead of one meowed with a sad sigh.

"NoLegs, we're doing our best. It's gonna be OK." Sighed a pegasus mare with a creamy yellow body, long, pink mane, and three butterflies for her cutie mark. NoLegs meowed again as tears snaked their way through his fur. The pegasus picked him up and held him in one foreleg and stroked him with the other. He began purring very faintly as a small cat's grin found itself on his face. Another Changeling, this one with green eyes and the lack of extra horns, buzzed into the room next to the pegasus.

"Mom, why don't Changelings get cutie marks?"

"Your father died before he could explain it to me, Umbralina. I do apologize, but I'm not the one with all the answers of life in general." Answered the pegasus as she continued to hug NoLegs.

"I can answer that," Called the triple-horned Changeling, "I remember when I was still a nymph: I got made fun of in school."

"How much?" Umbra asked, tilting her head to the side.

"A LOT." Answered the elder sternly. "I had three horns whereas half of my classmates had one, for starters. They also heard about Chrysalis and her iron holey hoof."

"Holey hoof....that sounded wrong." Alexis commented with a chuckle.

Fang rolled his eyes. "Sadist," He murmured under his breath.

The elder Changeling snorted at the comments from the peanut gallery before continuing, "And it was just prejudice for my being different in general. Alexis, I hope I remember this correctly, but YOU were also made fun of for having freaking wings, right?!"

Alexis froze stiff as a barrel and her mind flashed back all the way to when her hair was pulled. She stood there, seemingly petrified by the sudden prospect. It was as if her body shut down right then and there, and it was exceptionally hard work to simply nod her head. It was like lifting a damned clock tower with harpies flying in and out and one mishap killed them one by one with a pocket knife at the bare minimum!

"We're closer to ponies than gryphons, Umbra. But I saw this one Changeling mare with a blue carapace turn into an alicorn that looked like Lance's mother in terms of fur coloration, and we've all seen what a red fox looks like thanks to her. No offense, Fang, but that's the best way I can describe her. She even had a mask and orbs of fire for a cutie mark! I asked her about it and she said that it was only a coincidence before flying off into the night. So, we can get cutie marks, but we have to transform first. And our transformations are, more often than not, illusions." Sighed the elder.

"I understand now." Umbra said, a grin on her muzzle.

"I've been told that we Changelings cannot--or, rather, aren't supposed to--feel emotions. I call bullshit on that. If we aren't allowed to feel emotions, then why the hell do we like procreating? That requires emotion!" Grinned the elder, flashing her teeth.

"That explains how I was born!" Alexis suddenly commented, pointing at the elder Changeling. "That explains everything!"

"Are you implying you finally know how sexual intercourse works when done correctly?!" Fang shrieked, sounding like a female werewolf with a frog in her throat.

Alexis gave him a sadist's grin and her eyes twinkled. A sort of demented chuckle flew out of her mouth.

"Oh, my, someone's enjoying herself." Commented the yellow pegasus as her eyes went wide.

"And this is why--" Anna started before coughing again. Once a wad of mucus got expelled from her throat and sent into the waste bin, she resumed, "--I haven't sent them to sex ed. They'd figure it out themselves."

The murky-haired man could not believe his ears. His face curled up into a mixture of embarrassment, disgust, and horror.

"....did I scar my son for life?" Anna asked before another coughing fit ran its course.

The murky-haired man nodded slowly. "E-Excuse me...." He murmured before running up the stairs and into the bathroom as the door slammed shut quite loudly.

Twilight Sparkle came down the stairs with a book in her magical grip. "I think I have the...cure."

"Spit it--" Anna coughed yet again, this time with her face turning blue in the process, "--out already."

"I'm getting to it." Twilight scoffed with a sigh. "Anyway, I've found out what's wrong. You are all aware that pretty much everyone in this house has some degree of magic power, right?"

Everyone nodded.

"Take their magic power away...in full, I might add, and compress it into an object and then hide those objects away from them. This is what you get for them not recovering. I am still unsure about the illness running rampant through the Royal Guards, though." Twilight sighed.

A bat-pony guard who had paws in place of hooves, a canine muzzle and tail, and lots of fuzz woke up from his sleep and yawned. Thankfully, he wasn't afflicted with the illness at all...though he had a constant erection that drove everyone bonkers.

"What would the objects look like?!" Alexis demanded, stomping her foot.

"The book says the appearance of the object will correspond to the powers of the person or pony who uses them. But the objects will also be...as small as earrings." Twilight sighed again. "Think of Fang's Full Moon Charm around his neck."

"What happens after we give them the objects?" Fang asked, rubbing a finger along his Charm.

"That's where I come in...though they have to be naked." Twilight sighed once more, this time rolling her eyes.

Another man, this time with a lot of spiky brown hair that hid a great deal of his face, descended the staircase. On his back was a ginormous red cannon that had e-Bay on it in colorful letters. On his forehead was a white bandana with a red circle on it.

"I really hope this alleged 'Cult of Blueblood' can't withstand my hax." Said the man, clenching his hands into fists.

"We don't know what they'll be packing, Lazarus." Alexis pointed out sternly. "For all we know, they could be torturing Luna so the world would end!"

"She's got a point. So...err...I guess expect the unexpected?" Twilight sighed, darting her eyes back and forth with a nervous grin on her face.

"Twilight," Said another mare whose coat was orange and mane blond, "I would ask ya ta quit goin' inta heat, but, ya know, that's kinda impossible."

Lazarus shrieked. His jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes widened by a mile.

"APPLEJACK!" Everyone, Anna included, shouted accusingly, "DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!"