Trigger warnings: suicide, delusion, matricide, family abuse.

THIS IS A SATIRE.

I do not enjoy MLP grimdark (though, in other settings like WH40K, it doesn't bother me as much). I wrote this piece purely as a satirical exercise. My approach was to play it straight, and treat it in large part as a serious attempt at the grimdark genre; I wanted the satire and lampooning to arise mainly out of the context, and from the contrast between the show-flavoured and grimdark content. Basically, if I get this right, grimdark fans shouldn't even spot the satire (at least, if they skip this foreword). At the same time, readers with a healthy appreciation for irony and an irreverence for the grimdark genre should hopefully find themselves chuckling occasionally throughout.