"Thou used to be cool"

by Reverse Clopper

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Princess Luna, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 10364

Luna has trouble adjusting to life in Equestria after her banishment, and Celestia tries to get back to her roots. Also, fetish-intensive pony-sex.

It's been 12 days since the Elements of Harmony took away Luna's dark powers and restored peace and tranquility in her heart. Celestia has given her that time to relax, but she feels that it's time for Luna to get back into the political ring and start serving her people as she once did.

Luna is excited about the prospect, so she brushes her mane, inserts her finest dress-plug, and trots on down to the court-house.

...Wait, what was that second thing I just said?

This is a story about sisterly love, betrayal, the history of Equestria, and a giant writhing mass of blueberry flavored penises. You have been warned.

If you're just here for the wet, squishy, orifice-stretching tentacle sex, you're looking for chapter 3— "Apology". But I can't say it'll make perfect sense without the context of the first two chapters.

(Thanks to Pegos 1-1 for pre-reading!)

(Yay! Front page! Thanks a ton guys, that made my day!)

Published 2014-03-16 17:50:17 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-16 17:50:17 UTC

Why Not?

"Dearest sister, I understand you're having trouble adjusting, but... we have a reputation to maintain."

"But... We find it silly, sister. Why can we— I mean, I — not proposition a stallion for sex?" Luna asked, pouting.

"Well... It's not that you... Well, you can. It's just that there are social stigmas against presenting to a stallion you've never met before..." She paused, going over the details of the story in her mind, trying to pick out the most unacceptable bits, "...in a public restaurant..." Celestia frowned. "...During a foal's birthday party."

"We were merely introducing ourselves. Did you not tell us to be forward and familiar with our subjects?"

Celestia sighed deeply. "Things aren't so direct anymore, Luna. Ponies have grown to be uncomfortable with their sexuality. It's not like it was in the early days of the post-Discordant era..."

Luna smiled in remembrance. "We had two stallions for every day of the month... There were none who did not wish for the embrace of their princesses."

"Quite. Well, now, it is best to stick to the Royal Harem."

"I do not trust her, sister. She has no penis. What, pray tell, is she fucking me with?"

A guard blushed and cleared his throat, and the royal scribe peeked up from her parchment.

"Please, sister, watch your language while we are attending court. Perhaps this conversation can wait until we have settled all other matters?"

"We appreciate the services she offers, but are wary of their quality. A real stallion is favorable. We wish to be drenched in seed, and to bask in the afterglow of intense lovemaking. Her ejaculate tastes strange, and fades over time. We wish to lick, and suck, and straddle... And to have all these things done to us as well."

The guard to Luna's left shifted uncomfortably as he tried to hide his growing erection.

"Well, a stallion must be approached with more tact. He should know your name before he knows your smell."

"How can he be sure he will enjoy my taste if he does not smell me prior?"

"Usually ponies don't worry about either of those for a day at the very least."

"An entire day?" Luna asked, shocked, "What should occupy the intermittent period?"

"Well, getting to know each other, light conversation..."

"We are supposed to spend the whole day on meaningless conversation in order to couple? What am I to learn from these foals? I have circled the Earth more times than they have seen the Sun rise!" She glanced at the guard to her side. "No offense."

"That's a minimum, Luna. Many ponies tend to wait for well over a week."

"That is ridiculous. You there—" She addressed the guard to her side again. He glanced up, his eyes full of terror and embarrassment. "—You appear to be ready for coitus! Would you care to mount me?"

He only blinked in shock, as he tried to think back to his guard training, hoping that he had learned something about how to deal with this situation.

He hadn't.

Luna dropped down from her throne and placed her hind-quarters in the stallion's face. "Have at us. We are prepared to be filled with your genital excretions."

He gulped, and looked over to the other guard, who leaned his head to the side and widened his eyes as if to say, 'you'd better do it.'

The guard threw his forelegs up over her rump, and began attempting to mount her, though her height made the task challenging. He pulled himself up, trying to get himself aligned, and his hind legs fumbled in the air, trying to find a foot-hold. All the while, Luna was smirking cheekily. She knew he couldn't reach and that his struggles would only make the act that much more conspicuous.

"Please, not in the middle of the courtroom," Celestia requested, resting her face in her hoof. "Ponies have ended up in this room defending themselves from the law for less than you've done today."

"We have an appetite that must be satiated, sister."

"As do I, Luna. But there is a time and a place for everything. That time is not now and that place, not here."

"Well, if it is of such importance to you that We stop, you could simply use your tongue to—"

"Not. Now. Luna." Celestia hissed, as she gave a death-glare to the scribe. In response, the note-taking mare magically tore up the most recent page from the notepad and set it aflame.

"You used to be cool, sister," Luna blurted as she shook the guard loose, returning to her throne.

Celestia tried to ignore her and faced forward.

Luna leaned towards her. "Sister, did you hear Us? We have posited that you are no longer cool."

"Yes. I heard you," Celestia replied dryly.

"By stating it in the past-tense, We have insinuated that this is no longer the case."

"I still understand grammar, Luna."

They both sat in silence. At first, both princesses wore a blank stare, but gradually, almost as though happiness was slowly being siphoned out of Celestia and into Luna, Luna's mouth curved into a smile, and Celestia's eyes fell.

"I'm still cool..."

"You are not."

"I am still cool!"

"Absurdity! When was the last time you coupled?"

"That's private."

"Our cool sister would have told Us."

"Fine. It was on Tuesday."

"The harem does not count."

"What?" Celestia's eyes darted.

"When was the last time you mated with a real pony?"

"That is not kind." Celestia leaned towards her sister and glared. "She is a real pony, and she has feelings."

"She is an insect!"

The guards exchanged uncertain glances. Whatever it was that the princesses were talking about was beyond them, and it was probably for the best that they did not understand.

"I say that the harem counts."

"We dictate that it does not. So tell us, sister, when did you last lay with a pony?"

"This is immature and improper. I will not succumb to this."

"Oh, embarrassed?" Luna asked, with a sing-songy cocky tone.

"I'm not embarrassed."

"Then tell Us!"

"I refuse."

"You banish your sister for a thousand years, and when she returns, all she wants to do is get to know you. What do you do? You deny her that simple pleasure."

"That is-" Celestia caught herself, speechless. One of the guards coughed. Nobody made eye contact.

With a long sigh, Celestia finally gave in and mumbled something incoherently.

"What was that?"

"Uhmuhjabunnyersago"

"We didn't quite get that, sister."

Celestia looked around guiltily, before leaning in towards Luna to whisper with careful enunciation, "one hundred and twenty years ago."

Luna gasped. "We were not even celibate for that long during our banishment, sister. How can you even think straight?"

"I have the harem. That is enough." She turned her head to face the door again, not wanting to look into Luna's eyes any longer.

"You have simply forgotten what it is like to feel the affections of a real stallion."

"I remember just as you do, Luna."

"Do you? Do you remember how it feels to be stretched to your breaking point by a stallion's massive endowment?"

Celestia's normally unbreachable stoicism failed, and she blushed. "It's been centuries since I knew a stallion big enough to even come close to that."

"Do you remember the feeling of hot pre-cum filling up your void spaces and spilling out onto the ground?"

"Yes, Luna..." Celestia replied, squirming uncomfortably in her seat.

"The feeling of a stallion's seed being pumped into you, and the unique feeling of each sperm trying to crack the code of your ovum— trying to make you a mother of foals..."

"You know that's impossible Luna, I cannot be impre—"

"But the feeling is there, just as it is for all other mares. A genetic intimacy, a mixing of innate magicks..."

Celestia's face reddened. "That part was always more of your thing... Egghead."

"You... You haven't called me that for eons!"

"There are... Many things I haven't done in eons."

"So you would agree with me, then?"

"Perhaps not completely; I consider myself quite satisfied, though I may have been missing out on certain things recently."

Luna leaned in expectantly. "So are my actions really so unreasonable?"

"Yes!"

"Oh, sister, you were always a stick in the mud."

"I'm not telling you you can't seek the company of stallions. I'm only requesting that you do so with a little more grace."

"We are the very picture of grace." She turned to face the guard. "ARE WE NOT?"

Again, he looked quite distraught, but he was saved by Celestia. "No, Luna, you're not. Screaming at the top of your lungs is no longer considered graceful."

"You have become senile and asinine, sister. MY SUBJECTS ARE INSPIRED AND AROUSED BY THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE!" She said as she turned to face the guard, grinning expectantly.

He nodded in desperate agreement.

Celestia collapsed a little into her seat. It was going to be a long day. And judging by Luna's progress in becoming re-socialized... A long century. Not to mention the fact that Luna's musings on the finer points of sex had made her a little bit aroused, and it wasn't appropriate to take care of that. Not here. Not now. Celestia thought of ducking out for a moment, and taking a 'bathroom break'.

There was a knock at the door.

Horsefeathers.

Celestia begrudgingly opened the door with her magic, allowing an important-looking brown guardspony to enter. He was adorned with royal armor of yellow and black, an emblem of fire adorning the flank-plate.

The fire marshal removed his helmet, as was customary and courteous, and bowed.

Luna leaned towards Celestia and whispered, "he's callipygian..."

"What?"

"His buttocks. They are well-formed."

Celestia glared at her sister. "Shh..."

The guardspony stood up and moved forward and took a seat before the princesses.

Celestia sat up a little taller, as though an invisible thread was tugging on her head. Ruling is just as much about image as it is about wisdom— to lose the support of one's subjects is to lose both the power and the meaning of her position. "Grandmarshal Ember, we are honored with your presence as always... We understand you would like to discuss budgeting for fire control."

"Yes, my lady," he replied, ducking his head a little lower. He did not lower himself so much that he seemed beaten down, but enough that Celestia's air of power and dominance was affirmed. "I very humbly request an increase to my budget of roughly five percent. There have been more fires than usual lately, and the ponies I employ have been putting their lives on the line to face them. That is, of course, not to mention the increased rate of damage to our equipment."

"Surely, they deserve more pay for their heroic services. That said, we only have so many bits to work with, and I can only divert so much from other services."

"Understood, Princess. I look forward to hearing your ruling on the matter."

"Perhaps you could direct some funding from the harem," Luna muttered under her breath.

The Grandmarshal looked to Luna. "Excuse me, Princess?"

"I'll have you know that's not even one percent of one percent of one percent of the nation's budget, sister," Celestia hissed in reply.

"He's not asking for much more than that..."

"I shall return at another time—"

"No," Luna insisted, "please stay. Bear witness to my sister and I as we deliberate. You may have valuable input."

Celestia laughed nervously. "No, no, I assure you we will find you the money. No need for you to st-st-STAY." Celestia's eyes clenched and she stamped her hoof down on her throne. "LUNA!"

"What?" Luna asked, as she looked the other direction, a subtle glow on her horn dying down. "I didn't do anything."

The fire marshal began backing out.

Luna lurched forward with a sudden wild passion in her eyes. "I insist you stay!"

He paused.

"No, pleassssse get —Ooooohfff— Out." Celestia shut her eyes as she attempted to meditate and shut out the feeling of Luna's probing, magical touch. "LuuuuuuuUUUUUNA... You are... are definitely cro-AH-AH-AH-OSSSING the liNE right now..." She tried to take a deep breath, but it was interrupted by short, punctual gasps, as Luna altered her methods.

"So, can we count on you to shut down that silly little program?" Luna asked, with a devilish smile.

"Luna, it's nNNNNNNOt what you thiNK. If you'll g-g-gIVE me a CHANCE to explain in priVAT-T-T-TE..."

"No need, I understand all I need to. So where is the Fire Marshal going to get his— WOOOH!" Luna drew a sharp breath as Celestia's horn illuminated.

For the fire marshal, who could not see either princess' undercarriage, this was all very confusing. "Soo... Yes. I am glad to hear that I will be getting that funding... I can see that you two are hard at work... deliberating, so I um... Yeah. Bye."

"No- WAiiaiaiaiaai— Eep!" With that final distraction, the fire marshal slipped out the door, and Celestia ceased her magical manipulation of her sister's groin. "I thought you didn't want to play, Tia..."

"It's not a game, Luna. You never did take our court duties seriou—"

"And why should We? We should have relegated most of these decisions over a millennium ago. We swear, next you'll be signing bills into law that dictate the number of times a pony must wipe his or her ass."

"All that aside, I thought it would have gone without saying that you are not to molest me while we are meeting an official."

"Why not?"

"Well, for starters, at some point it became the popular consensus that we are literally sisters."

"Quite silly, for sooth, but what would be the problem with that?"

"Luna, you must be kidding!"

"Oh, please, it's not as though sisters can accidentally beget inbred offspring."

"That's not the whole reason, Luna. It just freaks ponies out. They have an innate aversion to it."

"Well, if I wish to touch my Tia inappropriately, then they will just have to deal with the fact that we are not sisters." Luna replied, as she suddenly moved to drop her head into Celestia's lap.

Celestia pushed back magically, with a distinct lack of enthusiasm regarding the subject. "Additionally, as we were discussing prior to the Fire Marshal's arrival, public indecency laws are very strict now."

"Public... Indecency?"

"Right... A little after your time... It is unacceptable for a pony to commit a lewd act outside the privacy of their home."

"Lood?" Luna asked, arching an eyebrow.

Celestia looked around, wracking her brain, trying to determine the best way to explain it to someone like Luna.

"A lewd act is a sexual act that is considered offensive."

"Such as... The consumption of defecation?"

Celestia jerked back in shock. "Well... That would be on the extreme side of things..."

"Extreme? That is the only thing We can think of that even borders on offensive! Unless-" She grimaced. "-Thou art suggesting that ponies today engage in necrophilia..."

"No! No... Not like that..." Celestia slumped in her chair and rubbed her eyes. "Luna... Please, as I am afraid I do not remember... Was I once like you are now?"

"How do you mean?"

"Was I ever as... Sexual, as you? I know I was more so than I am today, but... I cannot imagine myself ever thinking that what you're saying is okay."

"To Our knowledge, you never ingested excrement, if that is what you mean."

"Did you?"

"We will try anything once... Though We did not particularly enjoy it. T'was not an 'every day' thing."

Celestia stared wistfully into the distance and took a deep breath in response.

"What kind of things did I used to do?"

"Oh, wonderful things. You once spent an entire day eating and drinking things made exclusively from semen of guardsponies!"

"I... I think I remember that." Celestia paused to think, hoof at her chin, and then giggled. "The chefs were pissed at me for almost three weeks after that."

"There was the time that you had an affair with the Captain of the Royal Guard."

"Did I? Oh, well, I can't do anything like that now. Shining Armor is set to be engaged shortly."

"That didn't stop cool Celestia."

She smiled mischievously. "Well, it's not like he's married yet...." She shook her head. "No! Luna, you'd understand if you knew who the bride was to be."

"Who?"

"I shouldn't say..."

"Tell meeeeee~"

Celestia bit her lip. She bent over to Luna and whispered in her ear. "The Crystal Princess."

Luna gasped. "She's still alive?!"

Celestia gnashed her teeth. "Oh... I... It's not..."

"She's been replaced." Luna surmised, frowning.

"Yes. I'm sorry, I know how you liked her."

"I see. Yes. I suspected she would be dead by now, but... Never mind. How is her replacement?"

"She is very good."

"Have you..."

"Once. She is young, still."

"How young?"

"Not quite one-hundred years, yet."

"But you said you hadn't for..."

"Rituals do not count, sister; they are work, not pleasure."

"Everypony knows that those rituals are more effective when you enjoy yourself."

"They proceeded fine, I assure you."

Luna shifted in her seat, a hard clicking noise terminating her movement. Celestia leaned to see her hooves, which were away from solid ground, and looked perplexed for a moment.

Her eyes narrowed. "Luuuna..."

"Yes, sister?"

"Please tell me you are not wearing a butt-plug."

"It is only a small one. For decoration! And it keeps our tail high and proud!"

"Ponies don't do that anymore!"

"Well We do! We believe it accentuates our cutie mark."

"Nopony wants to see that you have something stuck up your butt when you walk by!"

"Dost thou think they prefer to see your puckered balloon-knot as you pass? It is a courtesy to our people."

"They're going to think it's weird."

"You have let them decide that many normal things are weird. Perhaps it is time they see somepony with class."

"Sister, take it out."

"Make Us."

"Sister..."

"We refuse. We are more comfortable with it in."

Celestia tugged on it with her magic, but Luna squeezed down, holding it steadfast inside herself. Her butt slid sideways on the throne.

"Relax your anus, sister!"

"No! Let go!"

Celestia tugged harder, lifting Luna's rump up into the air by her rectum, and Luna grabbed onto her throne with both forehooves, fighting her sister tooth and nail in what could only be described as some manner of bizarre anti-rape scenario.

"I shall give you until the count of three!" Celestia said as she approached her sister's backside.

"We are starting to enjoy this game, sister, more vibration please!"

"One!" She propped her forehooves up on Luna's supple flankcheeks.

"Two!" She braced herself, preparing to push.

"THREE!" She screamed as she pushed relentlessly into Luna's gluteal muscles, still pulling as hard as she could with her magic.

There wasn't a straight face in the room.

"Oh, yes, sister, yes! Please pull harder! AH, fuck! Fuck!"

And, at that moment, someone pushed open the huge double-door at the end of the hall. Both princesses lost their concentration, and the buttplug went flying across the grand hall with irresponsible velocity before breaking through a stained-glass window and sailing out into parts unknown.

On Trial

Celestia, lips parted with concern, slowly pulled her hooves away from Luna's butt and placed them firmly on the ground. "Why... Hello, Shining Armor. What a pleasant surprise to see you at this unexpected and unusual hour..."

"Well... Uh... I'm here to um... Wow. This might be a bad time. Should I come back later?"

"No, we are ready to receive. To be receptive of you, I mean. Come inside— Um... Walk into the room, please."

"That was my favorite plug."

"Not now, Luna."

"But I really liked—"

"Later!"

Shining Armor blushed as he complied with her wishes. "Well, the matter I'm here to address is one of... Public indecency."

Luna scoffed.

"This stallion was exposing himself in the park," he explained, gesturing towards a pony who had followed him into the room.

"I see. Do you have additional details? Any reliabl—"

"So what?" Luna asked, as she reclined in her chair and spread her legs apart. "We are all naked. I am exposing myself right now."

"Allegedly, he tied a bell around the end of his... His erect penis. And he swung it around in circles, screaming 'I'm a little teapot' at the top of his lungs. He also asked mares if they wanted a drink from his 'spout'."

"Are these allegations true?"

The stallion nodded, ashamed.

Luna snickered.

"Luna, not now."

"I'm sorry, it's the funniest thing I've heard all—"

"Not. Now.” She turned to address the stallion. “What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I apologize, your majesty. At the risk of compounding my sentence... I was heavily intoxicated at the time."

"Drunk in public during daylight hours? These are fairly serious charges. Captain Armor, how is his record?"

"It's clean, your majesty."

Celestia nodded. "And his finances?"

"Not so good..."

"Then, this time, he shall go unpunished. But see to it that—"

"Tia! We feel strange! We need something in Our butt!"

Everyone in the room glared at Luna. She rolled her eyes. "Fine. We shall be quiet. Please, do go on."

"As I was saying. We shall neither institute a jail sentence nor levy a fine..."

The accused pony's gaze didn't break from Celestia's stern but loving face, but Shining Armor's attention was called to something else. Slowly, silently, Luna was levitating herself up out of her chair. She scooted above Celestia's head, and began dropping slowly, much to Shiny's confusion.

"...as long as you do swear to consume alcohol in moderation henceforth. Furthermore, let the record state that—"

Celestia stopped, as her eyes shot wide, Shining Armor's face transitioned from confusion to shock, instantaneously, and the scribe's professionalism shattered with a resounding laugh.

"–Luna if you're doing what I think you're doing you had better stop or I shall personally see to it that your rectum is perforated."

Left untreated, perforation of the rectum is generally lethal for a typical pony within a matter of hours, but an alicorn would merely walk funny for a couple of days. As such, Luna didn't heed the threat at all, and she continued lowering herself down on Celestia's horn until her butt flattened down her sister's ears. "There. Nice and full. I'm happy now, Tia, please go on."

"Get my horn, out of your ass. THIS. INSTANT."

"You should have thought of that before you threw my buttplug out the window."

"That was an accident!" Celestia insisted, as she tried ineffectively to look up at her sister.

Luna bent over forward so she could look into Celestia's eyes. "It's quite a snug fit. A little long, but I rather like it. You're a very pretty butt-plug, Tia."

"GET OFF!"

"No. We insist that you carry Us in this way for the rest of the day."

"You are really getting on my nerves, Luna."

"You're really stimulating a lot of Ours," Luna replied with a childish giggle.

"I'm sorry for this." Celestia replied.

Luna looked confused. "Sorry f—" She moaned in pleasure as a golden glow spilled out from the tiny fraction of Celestia's horn that remained un-inserted.

In a moment, Celestia had teleported across the room, putting herself almost face to face with the pony she was supposed to be addressing, and having left Luna hanging in the air without any support.

The hall was filled with the echoing sound of Luna's rump slapping down hard against the stone floor. "Unnh... That was cruel, sister."

"I asked you nicely to stop. Now. I have business. If you don't start behaving yourself, I won't let you come in tomorrow."

"We'll be doing this tomorrow, too?"

"We do it almost every day, if you'll recall, Luna."

Luna sighed dramatically. Part of her missed being an evil demi-goddess trapped on the Moon. Cast a couple good tentacle-summoning spells, invite some of her evil friends, and crack open a keg of century-old Lunar Ale, and she could have a hell of a time. This... This was just boring.

"Please excuse my sister, she is still having trouble adjusting to—" Celestia took a long, deep, breath as Luna's tongue ran up the length of her horn. "Luna, I must ask you to return to your chambers at this time. Thank you."

"Oh, sure, sister... we will return to our chambers..." She punctuated her statement with a growl.

Celestia was quite flustered and embarrassed as she looked the stallion in the eyes again. "Okay... How about... If you forget what you saw here, we'll just forget about your charges completely. Your record will remain spotless. How does that sound?"

"Uh... Good, your highness?"

"Not a word."

"Yes ma'am." He assured her as he turned to face Shining Armor. Shining nodded, and the stallion began trotting down the hall after another guardspony who would lead him to the exit.

After a sufficient amount of time had passed that he could feel certain they were 'alone', Shining made awkward eye contact with the princess. "So... What was that all about?"

"Lulu is... Well, times were different when she was banished. And... Having been essentially in stasis for a millennium, she is still very foal-like. I have changed with the times, but she will need a period to adapt."

"But... The way she talked to you... She's your sister!"

"Not by blood. Only... spiritually."

"So... You're not related even a little bit?"

"Why would we be?"

"You're both alicorns... I just assumed..."

"That is... Not how alicornism works. You will learn some day."

"Huh?"

"It does not bear importance, Captain Armor." Celestia caught a glimpse of Shiny's testicles as he turned to salute another guard, causing her to promptly blush and turn away. She couldn't help but notice how huge they were, and how virile and full of testosterone Shining Armor must be... What a lucky mare Cadence was to have him...

Shining sniffed at the air for a moment. He was sure he smelled the scent of Cadence's arousal, but he was also sure she was nowhere around. A quick glance to his side revealed the source to him. Celestia was soaking wet. Apparently they smelled exactly the same when excited. And if the same was true of taste... Shining licked his lips as he found himself unintentionally leaning in towards Celestia's marehood.

Celestia whipped around, startled. "Would you mind taking my seat, Captain Armor? Just for a brief time. I need to go to the little fillies' room."

"The courtroom closes after five, Princess..."

"Oh... Yes... I believe I must have lost track of the time. You may accompany me, then."

"To the bathroom, Princess?"

"You needn't follow me into the stall. And please, refer to me as Tia. You are my own private guard, we should be on more familiar terms. Even your young sister forgoes using my formal title occasionally."

"If you say so, P- Tia," Shiny replied awkwardly.

"So, how goes your relationship with Cadence?"

"Great!"

"Good. Good. You are intimate, I presume?"

"Well... Yeah." Shiny answered. He wasn't sure if this was normal, but judging by Luna's behavior moments ago, he guessed this was just the normal way an alicorn princess would worry about her 'niece'.

"You strike me as a generous lover, surely you have tasted the fruit of her loins."

Shining Armor coughed nervously as he continued following her. "Well, uh... yeah... I guess..."

"How did you like it?" she asked, turning abruptly and standing in his path, paying very close attention to the expressions on his face.

"I... Uh..."

"No need to feel uncomfortable. I am thousands of years old. There is little I haven't heard before, even if my sister can shock me at times."

"Well, it uh..." He paused, glancing up at her again, still unnerved by the nature of the conversation. "It tastes good... Awesome, really..."

"Just a particular gift of being an alicorn..."

"Really? You too? And Luna?"

"Mmhmm... Sometimes I'll sample my own taste just to enjoy it..." She reached her hoof back between her legs, smeared some of the moisture from between her flank-cheeks, and brought it up to her mouth.

To be honest, she hadn't done that in a long time, and the only reason she was doing now was in an attempt to seduce Shining Armor.

And she wasn't sure why she was doing that, either.

But once that taste hit her tongue, she very nearly started deep-throating her own hoof.

Shiny blinked in silent approval as his member began to unsheath itself. He was a stallion of reservation and self-control, but watching Celestia fellate her own arm was just too much. He blushed and started to back away. "Well, we're here at your rest room... I won't hold you up, Princess..."

The princess withdrew her arm from her mouth and cleared her throat. "Oh, don't go, I want to get to know you better! Besides... When was the last time you relieved yourself?"

"You mean..."

"Urinated. When was the last time you urinated?"

"Oh..." Shining Armor replied, flushed red. "I can just use the guard restrooms, it's fine."

"Nonsense! Those closets are filthy... The captain is entitled to use the royal bathrooms at any time... Please, I insist that we relieve ourselves simultaneously."

"Uhhh..."

"Your princess insists..."

"Right..." he mumbled, following Celestia through the regal restroom door.

Celestia squatted down over her throne, giving Shining Armor a look that could only be described as 'creepy', given that they were in a bathroom. He had been hoping there would be individual stalls, but he had no such luck. Celestia gestured to the toilet by her side.

Shining Armor did have to pee, but there was a problem. He was rock-hard. He was really trying to get it down, but Celestia's intoxicating smell, which so reminded him of Cadence, was making the task nigh-impossible. The expectant stare of the princess drove him to drape himself over the toilet, twisting his body in a most unusual way to hide his excitement, as he strained and pushed to try and urinate.

Celestia snickered a bit. "If you think I haven't noticed by now, you must either believe me to be stupid or blind..."

"Oh... No! Princess! It was an accident! I really don't mean to... I mean, not that you aren't attractive— I mean, you're not as beautiful as Cadence, but— Oh goddess..." He bowed his head and blushed, desperately hoping for a way to get himself out of the hole he was digging.

"Perhaps my sister is right... Maybe you ponies are too ashamed of your bodies for your own good..."

Shining Armor gave her an uncertain glance.

"An erection is nothing to be embarrassed about, Captain Armor. It's practically a compliment!"

"It's inappropriate, Princess..."

"What would be inappropriate would be for you to mount me without my permission..." Celestia said as she gave him a foxy grin, "which you do have, by the way."

"Princess?"

"Permission. To screw me. Consent, if you will."

Shining Armor's mouth fell open.

"Can you tell me, truthfully, that you are not interested?"

"Well, I don't—"

"Might I remind you that you have sworn an oath to honesty, captain?"

"Cadence would—"

"Cadence wouldn't mind, I assure you. We share everything, she and I..."

"Buh— I—"

"You're so cute when you're flustered," Celestia remarked, swishing her tail side to side in an effort to spread the smell of her arousal throughout the small room. As the moisture collected in the folds of her hindquarters, a singular drop of her crystal clear secretions formed and fell between her rear hooves. Shining Armor's eyes followed the drop, his nostrils flared as he continued to soak up the smell of her excitement, and his hips bucked forward a bit involuntarily as the drop hit the ground.

"I... I... I'm off the clock... I'm going to go see Cadence... Now... If that's okay, your majesty..." Shining Armor remarked, quite visibly terrified. It wasn't so much this new side of Celestia that was scaring him, but rather, a new side of himself— the side that wanted to clamber up on top of Celestia almost as much as it seemed she wanted it. It's not my fault, he reasoned. She's seducing me... She's doing this on purpose!

"Well, hurry back, Shiny... And don't be afraid to bring Cadence with you, I'm up for a wild night..."

Shining Armor didn't quite have anything to say in response, so he just backed out, bewildered, shocked, and with a raging semi dangling under his belly.

Once the door shut, Celestia chuckled. She very nearly had him, and the realization that at thousands of years old, she still 'had it going on', was... fun. Really fun.

As she considered other possibilities, she bit her lip. Luna was right. Even just toying with a real stallion's mind had done more for her than an entire night with the harem. In all honesty, the need the harem satisfied for Celestia wasn't even truly sexual, it just went that direction occasionally. It had taken her decades of practice in mental self-manipulation to teach herself to accept that changeling as... him, so she could feel it; that feeling she thought she'd never feel again.

But mixed up in all that passion, all that desperation, all that... stuff... Celestia had lost something. Novelty, spice, zest! The things that make life worth living, whether for 30 years or 3,000, and she had been forgoing them to pursue a love that had died eons ago!

Celestia looked into her mirror and sighed deeply. "Perhaps I owe Luna an apology..."

As she walked through the ancient regal halls, she considered how it had all happened. How did she go so wrong? How did Equestria? When did everything change? Generations of ponies came and went— she would watch them grow as foals, learn their special talents, develop as individuals and find their place in society, and just... live. They would eventually slow down, and pay that debt that almost every pony must; surrender the life that had been loaned to them...

Some of those ponies would naturally, at some point in their life or another, find themselves in quite close proximity to their princess. Behind her, underneath her, on top of her— the details didn't matter, but they were somehow with her, and often inside of her. Early on, it had been nearly everypony. They were so happy to be alive, to live in a world ruled by order and harmony instead of Discord's chaos, that they spent years doing very little aside from celebrating. Given that most sophisticated means of entertainment had dissolved during Discord's reign, there was very little left for them to do with all their excitement. Plus, sex was much more appealing in a world where certain body parts didn't change in size, appearance, and texture wildly and without warning.

One of Discord's favorite 'jokes' was to convert a stallion's penis into a live rooster mid-coitus. Aside from the obvious unpleasantness experienced by the mare, the stallion had a difficult time as well, as recovering his penis would only be possible by holding the rooster against his groin until the spell subsided. It sucked cock.

With each new generation, though, things changed ever-so-slightly. Ponies found new ways to occupy their time, and as infant mortality declined, the need to reproduce in such volume decreased. New cultural ideals sprung up slowly, in stark contrast to the sudden changes brought about by Discord's imprisonment. That silly decorative butt-plug fad sprang up... and then, shortly thereafter, Luna lost it. Come to think of it, that was actually a big blow. A princess, a source of their comfort, a beacon of peace and prosperity made flesh, had become corrupted and tainted with darkness. What's more, she had been the foremost proponent of sexual expression in all of Equestria, and when she finally fell, it left her subjects feeling uneasy.

I should have been there for my subjects, Celestia thought, remembering how she had retreated emotionally in the wake of losing Luna. She could hardly bear to live and laugh with them, having lost the one pony who truly understood her. Her little ponies needed her, and she had left them alone, only to return as a hollow shell of her former self.

I let them all down... I owe them better. They deserve more than I can offer.

Apologies

Celestia found herself staring down her chamber doors, knowing Luna was on the other side, knowing she needed to apologize. Maybe Luna could stand to tone it down a bit, but Celestia definitely needed to tone it up. Her Equestria needed to be a beautiful place of love and pleasure, and Luna knew how to make it so.

She pushed the grand double doors open. "Luna, I—" Her jaw fell to the floor.

Before her was Luna, hanging in the air, suspended by glowing blue tentacles that were probing her every orifice. She writhed in agonizing pleasure, massive ribbed hoses stretching her vagina, anus, and throat as they plunged into and pulled out of her with great force. Upon closer inspection, it became clear that 'every orifice' was not a phrase to be taken lightly, as smaller strands of the slimy animate material were inserted into her nostrils, ears, and even her urethra, pulsing and swirling rhythmically. A muffled cry of pleasure escaped Luna's lips as she noticed her sister at the door.

The tentacle probing her mouth slowly retracted, and Celestia was both disgusted and amazed by the length that had been concealed inside Luna's gullet. At least a full four feet of firm, blue tube, terminated by a rather massive visage of a horsecock. After spending a moment choking down the glowing blue fluid that it had been pumping into her, Luna spoke, a strand of the blue, glowing cum still stretching from the tip to her lips.

"Oh, hello sister, art thou going to chastise Us for our behavior even further now?"

Celestia hung at the doorway, uncertain.

"Do not tarry, let Us have it so that We may carry on with what We were doing," Luna insisted, the cradle of tentacles lowering her down to Celestia's level, and the penetrating bodies continuing to probe her in a slower, more delicate way so as to allow her to speak easily.

"I... Uh..."

Celestia had intended to join Luna in sexual endeavors, but this was a lot more... advanced than what she was expecting. She walked a little into the room as she continued, "you see, Luna, I wanted to apolo—"

She stopped abruptly as she stepped in something slimy and sticky, the excess — shall we say, 'moisture' — that had pumped out of the creature, and into Luna, before spilling out onto the ground. She grimaced and retracted her hoof before she continued.

"Apologize. I wanted to say I was sorry for how I treated you in the courtroom."

"We see..."

"I just... I feel that you may be right. Equestria is too shameful. And, perhaps, things will never be as they once were, but I would like it if... If you would help me to put things back, maybe just partially."

"We see," Luna replied, leaning back and folding her arms, taking on a stance so formal and serious that it almost seemed impossible that she was being double penetrated. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I think I am sure," Celestia replied hesitantly, eying a tentacle that was creeping up on her left side.

"You think?" Luna asked, giving Celestia an apprehensive look. Even the tentacles seemed to be staring Celestia down suspiciously.

"I... I know."

"Well then, prove it. Join Us," Luna insisted, a few more tentacles moving in on Celestia.

"Oh... No— I... You go ahead," she replied, retreating.

"If thou art serious about restoring Equestria, then you will join Us."

"I think I'll just work my way up to this, you know..."

"There is no time for that, sister. We have two-hundred years of repression to work off here."

"One-hundred and tw—" Celestia began to protest, before one of the tentacles worked its way around her and began gently rubbing at her groin. She wanted to pull away, but the feeling was so wonderful, given how wound up she was from the events that had transpired earlier. Some primal force inside her sprang up, screaming to her, telling her she wanted this more than anything else in the world. "Oh..."

"Do you want it, sister? Do you need it?"

"I... I don't..." She blushed as another tentacle rolled in underneath her belly and began rubbing at her teat.

"Well?"

"Will it be gentle?"

Luna smiled deviously. "Relatively speaking..."

Celestia stifled her fear, and swallowed hard. "Then... I'm ready. Take me."

Not even a second passed after the words left Celestia's mouth before she felt a small, smooth tentacle slip between her vaginal lips, stroking, probing, twisting... She pushed back against it ravenously, wanting to feel more of it, and inside her it increased in size and solidified in shape, slowly stretching her. It withdrew, growing ever larger with each passing second, and pressed itself back into her, hilting itself firmly. She shuddered as it pressed against her uterus, filling her with sensations that were almost like new— memories of the same feelings existing as only shadows in the deepest reaches of her mind.

The tentacle began withdrawing, and Celestia tried following it with her hips, backing up, but she couldn't keep pace. She didn't need to wait long, though, before a vigorous thrust lodged the foreign member deep inside her again, forcing her internal organs to yield and rearrange themselves to make room. With a yelp, Celestia fell forward and caught herself on a knuckle and an elbow, her back legs still taught and extended.

"Luna—" Celestia began, panting heavily, "I— I want to take—" She let forth a guttural groan as the creature continued to probe her forcefully. "A— a break... It's too—" She squealed. "Too rough..."

"Sister," Luna replied, amused, "Think about what you are— Think about the abuse your body can take. Can you truly tell me you've never exploited that? There's so much to experience... What is pleasure without pain?"

Luna hovered up above Celestia, still supported by a cradle of fleshy rods. "Besides, I think you're enjoying this more than you let on," she remarked, stroking Celestia's erect wings with her hooves.

"Guh!" Celestia uttered unintelligibly, as she glanced back at her wings, embarrassed. She tried balancing on one front hoof while using the other to pull her wing against herself, but another thrust of the tentacle knocked her off-balance. She brought her hooves up to protect her face and shut her eyes, but instead of hitting the floor, she found herself gently caught in a net of tentacles.

She laid there in shock for a moment before commenting, "it— it caught me..."

Luna was still hanging above her, and Celestia was gently rotated so that they were face-to-face, belly-to-belly. "He caught you. And of course he did. He's a perfect gentlecolt, only here to give you what you want..."

"He?" Celestia asked, before getting caught up in pleasure again, the tentacles grinding away inside of her.

"A pony who loved giving pleasure to mares so much... He gave his mortal life to become something else... We go way back..."

"That's against the— Umph... It's a contravention of the— the Merlin Ordinance..."

"Oh, he's from long before that... Not that it should matter; even Merlin shouldn't have the right to tell a pony what he can do with his soul."

"But—" Celestia began to protest, before she was interrupted by Luna's lips wrapping around her clitoris. "Lu—lu—lu..."

Celestia flopped backwards, limp in the cradling tentacles, as she gave in to the experience, letting it progress as it would. The tentacles wrapped her firm wings, slipping between her feathers, squeezing and massaging her tense flight-muscles.

"It must be even worse than I thought, Tia," Luna commented, as she orbited Celestia. "You let your wings go stiff... You used to be able to control that." Luna kissed Celestia on the base of her horn. "It's not just that you haven't been having sex, is it?"

"NNnnh..." Celestia replied, unable to formulate a proper response.

"You've gone completely sexually infirm in Our absence... You've not even thought about sex, have you?"

"I—" She gasped and clenched her eyes.

"No wonder you've become so bitter... We are so glad you have permitted Us to help you..." Luna slipped down and sniffed and nuzzled at Celestia's neck.

By this point, the tentacle inside her had seemingly reached its full size, but it kept pushing harder, as though it was trying to find a deeper crevice to settle into, as though it was waiting for another space to open up and make room for it. As it pushed harder with each stroke, it started to bundle up and coil at the opening, stretching her ever wider, forcing itself to fit.

"LULU! I— Help me!"

"There is no need to be scared," Luna replied, stopping to plant a few kisses on Celestia's neck. "Nothing bad can come of this. You cannot die, you cannot be maimed... This is life— feel it— experience it! Live!"

"LUUUUULUUUU!" Celestia squealed as the creature stretched her even wider, and she felt her flesh very nearly being torn as the mass began coiling up inside her, easily doubling its apparent thickness. It pulled out, granting her a moment of reprieve, before jamming itself inside her again, forcing her open, and stopping there. She moaned, hanging on the verge of tears.

"Do you love it, Tia?" Luna whispered into her ear.

"Nnnngh..." Celestia replied, covering her face with her hooves.

"You don't want this to end, do you?"

Celestia peeked out from under her hoof, her eyes expressing a very shameful, but unmistakable, 'no'.

"Dos't thou want more?"

Celestia tilted her head down slightly, wincing. She hated herself for it, but she wanted more, and she needed more.

"Tell Us how badly you want it..."

"I need it..."

"Tell Us you're a dirty little harlot..."

"I..."

"You must say it!"

"Im a... a dirty..." Celestia slouched and looked down. "...slut..."

"Then take it like the degenerate whore you are!" Luna yelled with an excited smile, as the tentacles wrapped around Celestia's forehooves and pulled them away from her face, drawing her into an upright position. A huge blue cock moved up to meet her face, and she prepared for it to plunge itself into her throat, but it never did. It simply paused. Ready. Waiting. Rock-hard. Intimidating.

"Go on... suck it. Suck it like the little slut you are," Luna demanded, wrapping her hooves around Celestia's head and pushing her forward so that her lips touched the flared tip.

Celestia whimpered. This feeling of powerlessness; of not being in control; it was so foreign to her. She was, for the first time in so long, vulnerable.

Unsure how to proceed, extremely aware of a nagging pain between her legs, and so very out of practice, she extended her tongue to meet the tip, the very opening of the urethra, and she was met with an ample serving of pre-cum. It tasted salty and a bitter, just like any stallion might— Celestia did remember enough to know that— though there might have been a subtle hint of blueberry.

To Luna's surprise, Celestia pushed herself forward, out of her grip. The flare just barely fit into her fully opened mouth, and as she slowly continued, yet more of the voluminous secretions were pumped into her mouth, allowing the massive member to glide effortlessly along her tongue, and just barely squeeze its girth under her palette, before it found its home just tickling the back of her throat.

The tentacle continued pouring its lubricating gel into Celestia's mouth, and she had no choice but to chug it down if she wanted to keep breathing. Not that she needed to breath to live, but breathing was an all-around pleasant experience that she wanted to continue. The liquid persisted in thin layers on the surfaces of her throat, not content to slide into her stomach. She felt a force build on the back of her head, the product of Luna's impatience, no doubt, but she couldn't say 'no.' Celestia couldn't say anything. She pushed back against Luna's hooves, but she found herself losing the fight, both physically and mentally. She had no reason to contest this, and no real desire to either. She let Luna push her forward, until the phallus was pressed against the back of her throat.

Her eyes watered and her face reddened as she fought the urge to cough, and her whole body shook as her gag reflex attempted to force the foreign body from her throat, but the cock remained unyielding, Luna's force persistent, and her own creeping desires irresistible, as she found it pressing ever deeper into her throat. In all her years, she'd never let a stallion this deep inside her mouth— she'd never thought she'd wanted it. She never would have guessed she might have enjoyed it. And yet, here she was, feeling every single millimeter of it as it pushed in, feeling the little ring of excess flesh around the middle passing through her lips and teeth, it's warm bulk filling her up and stretching her apart, as it pumped its hot secretions inside of her. To her great surprise, she was loving every second of it.

Soon she was so relaxed that her body didn't even fight as the creature squeezed itself through the tight loop of muscle at the top of her stomach and took up residence therein, giving her an intense feeling of satiety, a pleasant fullness like that experienced after an extensive holiday dinner. She felt her abdomen begin to bulge out as the fluids kept being pumped into her, but she hardly minded. Her tired, satisfied eyes looked thankfully at Luna, who was hovering above her so gracefully, slowly lowering.

After a moment, the princesses' bellies touched, and the tentacles supporting Luna relieved themselves of her weight, allowing her to lay on top of Celestia. She kissed Celestia's cheeks before running her tongue up the length of the tentacle that was firmly planted inside her face, prompting it to shudder and twist. Through her nose, Celestia managed to make a few grunts, signifying a combination of pleasure, excitement, and discomfort.

"It's so glorious, isn't it, sister? I can't imagine how this must be for you, having forgone these sensations for so long." She remarked as she propped herself up so that her knee was aligned with the top of Celestia's vulva, and she pressed in, rubbing along the length and digging her kneecap into her sister's clitoris. In response, Celestia's back arched, pressing her muzzle even more firmly against the tentacle, forcing the mass slightly deeper into her gullet.

Luna giggled as she watched Celestia squirm in response to the change, trying to find comfort again in this sea of confusing and unfamiliar sensations. She wrapped her own neck around her sister's and nibbled at her ear before whispering, "now, my most faithful slut... There's only one more lesson to be learned."

Celestia glanced around for a moment, trying to figure out what Luna had meant. Suddenly, her eyes bulged out of her head as the meaning became extremely apparent. A very thin tentacle began tickling her anus, poking and prodding at the delicate puckered ring. She moaned in protest, and kicked her hind legs, but that was all counter-productive, serving to do nothing more than increase the stimulation she was receiving from the tentacles already inside her as the third tentacle's invasive, probing, touch continued.

"Calm down, sister. Use your head. This is what it's there for... Don't fight..."

Celestia mumbled angrilly. "MMmm NNgh MmmPhMM!"

"You haven't defecated for thousands of years now... Why do you think the old ones left it in place? For decoration?"

"MMpph MM-MMMmm NNNMMM!"

"Sister, We know you long for this. We know you crave it."

"MMpph mmm mmmmmm..." Celestia replied, her eyelids drooping, as she ceased her struggling.

"Be not ashamed— None shall judge you, none shall be repulsed. This is good. This is natural..."

"Mmmmmmphmmphmmm..."

"Just relax. Let it happen. Enjoy your body as it was meant to be enjoyed..."

"MMmmph..." Celestia concluded, allowing her body to slacken in the tentacles' grip.

The monster— no, the pony— no, the gentlecolt, slowly, gently, carefully eased his way inside her, the nearly-pointed tip of the tentacle making the motion so very fluid and effortless. His warm, soothing, excretions filled her rectum quickly as she felt her flesh make way for the invading member. She felt it move in six inches, eight inches, a whole foot inside her. She was sure it would stop, but it didn't. It continued, 18 inches, 20...

She felt it snake its way around a bend in her colon, and the ensuing discomfort caused her to double over under her sister, so that the tentacle invading her mouth was nearly removed, but it still didn't stop. It kept on moving through, seeming to disregard her pleasure, forcing its way around all the corners of her large intestines, relentlessly carrying on until it just reached her small intestine and stopped there.

Celestia was in shock. She didn't know what to think. She didn't even know she was so aware of where things were in her body; it had been so long since anything had passed through that part of her digestive tract... Aside from all this, the sensation of fullness was intensifying within her. The creature had never stopped pumping its pre-cum inside her. Her abdomen bulged out slightly under the pressure, and she felt that the tentacle was expanding as well, stretching to occupy the full volume of her colon. Once it filled her completely, some parts of it continued expanding, stretching the muscular walls of her digestive tract.

Then, without warning, something started happening inside her vagina. The tentacle filling that orifice sprouted blunt spikes that began rippling and pulsing inside her, and small tendrils emerged near the opening, coiling around her clitoris and massaging all along her lips. Just as she became accustomed to that feeling, the tentacle probing her mouth began twisting and thrashing about inside her stomach. The sinuous engorged surface of the tentacle deep inside her rectum began undulating in such a way that the bulbous portions passed out of her while leaving the bulk of the tentacle in place, like an infinite string of anal beads.

Celestia was left helplessly moaning, but in a moment she noticed that Luna was moaning right along with her; the gentlecolt was pleasing both of them simultaneously. Many moments passed with the two ponies embracing each other while they continued to receive pleasure from the great creature that wrapped itself around them and wriggled about inside them. It wasn't long before the sensations coming from inside Celestia's body stopped feeling foreign, and she began experiencing them in a completely different way; they were an expression of friendship, of admiration, of love. The sensations were a gift, from Luna to her— a unique experience that the two of them shared.

This was sex. This was what she had been missing.The intimacy that can only come from vulnerability, from not being completely in charge, from being completely and totally exposed to an equal. All those years in the embrace of a changeling, a creature who would do for her only exactly what she asked, exactly what she wanted, to the letter— It wasn't sex. It wasn't real. It wasn't even really love. This was sex. This was love. It doesn't matter how bizarre or unusual the specific acts are. It's a question of who it is, and why it's done.

Celestia's thoughts dissolved and evaporated as her orgasm approached. It was such an unprecedented sensation, so intense, that she could hardly believe in that moment that experiencing it was a normal part of life. She squeezed her limbs around her sister as her pleasure climbed higher and higher, and finally screamed through her nostrils as she climaxed. As she breathed hard through her nose, the tentacle plugging her mouth slowly withdrew, but its absence hardly made any difference, as the copious amounts of fluid it had deposited inside her was pressurized to a degree that it followed the mass up her esophagus. As soon as a gap opened between her flesh and its flesh, a spurt of the hot spunk sprayed out and landed on Luna's mane. Celestia let her head fall to the side as the tentacle fully emerged, and the fluids just kept spilling out under her. It couldn't be called vomiting— her body wasn't taking a sufficiently active role in its expulsion.

Finally, the pressure was reduced to such a degree that she could hold it back, and she was able to take a good, deep, breath through her mouth. She looked up and saw Luna looking back at her, prideful and joyous.

After giving Celestia a moment to catch her breath, Luna plunged headlong into a deep kiss, and as she explored her sister's mouth with her tongue, the two were lowered from their high perch as the gentlecolt creature began dissolving away. It shrank, it withdrew from their orifices... Excessive amounts of fluids drained from their bodies, from holes they couldn't quite completely squeeze shut yet. The two of them found themselves resting on their bed, legs entangled, wings disheveled, bodies sore and aching, completely exhausted in every way, but unwilling to pull their lips apart.

There was a knock at the door, and Luna clenched her eyes in response, clearly frustrated by the disruption. She pulled away from Celestia begrudgingly, and stood up. With a graceful stretching motion, and a glow about her horn, she tidied herself up, cleared away the signs of tiredness, and swept all the tentacular excretions up into a tight ball before making them vanish. Celestia watched the performance in awe; she had always had such respect for Luna's talents, such envy for the apparent effortlessness with which Luna exerted her will upon the world around her. To think, most Equestrians thought of Luna as the jealous one...

Luna strutted towards the door casually and opened it. "Oh... Shining Armor and Cadence..." She coughed.

Celestia peeked up over her bedsheets. Cadence was dressed in a school-filly outfit, and Shining Armor was decked out, head to hoof, in latex bondage gear. Luna looked back over her shoulder to Celestia, who retreated back under the sheets, redder than a tomato.

"We see Our sister made plans with you... We shall have to reschedule. Please return at this time tomorrow." With that, she shut the door, and leapt into the bed with Celestia, tussling under the covers with her briefly. "So, a threesome today, a foursome tomorrow... We shall have to find a fifth partner in two days time."

"Is that so?" Celestia asked, amused.

"Mmhmm... We think your student would make a fine addition..."

"Twilight?" Celestia asked, taken aback.

"Do you have a better, more attractive student?"

"Oh, Twilight isn't ready for anything like that. She's only just now making friends... We'd scar the poor filly for life."

"Hmm..." Luna nodded.

"Her friend Rarity, on the other hand... I get all the right vibes from her..."

"Oh, no, no, no..."

"Hmm?"

"Rarity has such a... negative sexual energy... I'd much rather have the pink one."

"I see..." Celestia replied. "Well... Luna..."

"Yes, sister?"

"Maybe... Tomorrow, instead of a four-way..."

"Yes?"

"Do you think that maybe we could just cuddle?"

Luna pursed her lips to the side before putting on a warm smile. "Sure, Tia... But only tomorrow. Your rehabilitation is my greatest priority. We cannot put it off forever..."

Guess Who! (Epilogue)

[Many months later]

Celestia collapsed on top of Luna, exhausted, her semi-rigid penis still hilted inside her sister. "Wow..." Was all she managed to say.

"I told you it was fun to be a stallion."

She let forth an exhausted sigh and chuckled. "You did..."

"Would you care to tussle betwixt the sheets again?"

"I think I'm done..." She replied, rolling off of Luna. She looked down at her penis and laughed quietly. "I still can't believe you can actually do that spell."

"It's not that hard, honestly... Just takes a bit of practice."

"Speaking of practice... are you sure you're ready for tomorrow?"

"NightMare Night? Why wouldn't I be ready? It is Our night, is it not?"

"Right, I know, but it's—"

"We know, We know, it's a holiday for foals now. We will do our best to maintain..." She looked disgusted as she continued. "Decency. Though We are still not sure what else it is ponies do for fun."

"Luna, don't worry about that. I'm sure that Twilight and her friends will make sure you are adapted to modern social conventions."

"And then, perhaps, We may adapt her to ancient social conventions?"

"Not yet, Luna."

"We grow impatient!"

"You know what must come to pass in Twilight's life. It has been written. If we interfere—"

"Alright, sister, We understand. Do not bore Us any longer with talk of prophecy... Cadence and I must see to the Prince."

With a flash of Luna's horn, Celestia's penis contracted and was absorbed into her body, while brand-new mottled flesh-sticks sprouted from Luna and Cadence's groins. Across the room, a thoroughly bound and blind-folded Shining Armor waited upside down with his legs spread apart.

Cadence bent down and whispered in his ear. "Shiny... We're gonna play a sexy little game..."

He smiled. "What's that, hon?"

"It's called, 'guess which mare-dick'."

"Huh?! Grrk—" Cadence hilted herself deep inside Shining's ass.

"So?"

"Y-you?"

"Wrong! We're gonna keep going 'till you get it right!"

"That's not nice, Cadence," Luna whispered.

"Shhh... I'm having fun..."