Tales of a Guard

by Flames173

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 2429

A colt asks his dad what a royal guard does. The child gets several different answers of several different occasions. Many, long winded and boring, others, not as much.

The stories a guard tells his child of what happened to him while he was a royal guard can quite often be boring. some funny, others, neither. This guard tells his tales of the most memorable stories of his guardship.

Published 2013-11-30 22:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-23 17:33:59 UTC

Getting the job

"Hey daddy, what kinds of stuff did you do when you were a royal guard?" A white colt asked his father.

"Well, a lot of things happened. It may take a while to tell you all of it, you sure you still want to hear?" A somewhat old stallion answered.

"Yeah. I wanna be a guard when I grow up, and I wanna be ready for it!"

"Well then, sit down."

The colt pulled a chair up to his father.

"All right, I guess I should start from the beginning shouldn't I?"

"Well, it all started when I was about 18 or 19. Shortly after summer break started. I was walking around the town looking for my marefriend when I saw a 'help wanted' sign. I figured it was my chance to be a guard. So I hauled ass to the castle where Celestia was waiting.

"You want to be a royal guard?" Celestia asked the young stallion.

"Yes ma'am. I've always wanted to be a guard. Plus I think you should have more young ponies on the force."

"What makes you think you would make a good guard?"

"Well, I'm young, strong, fast, agile, energetic..." The princess cut him off.

"...overconfident, cocky, foolish, inexperienced."

"Hey, that's rude. I bet I'd prove to be a better guard than any of the old bats you have now!"

"Oh really? Prove it then. How about this, you pass through the gauntlet, and you get the job, if not, you can never come to the castle again."

This made him think for a moment. "Deal." The outcome of the gauntlet will determine if he meets his dream, if he fails, he'll never achieve it. He had to take the risk.

"Fine, follow me." Celestia turned around and walked down a long, elegant hallway that had just too much decor in it. "What is your name anyways?"

"CloudStar."

"Where did your name come from? Most earth ponies don't have cloud or star in their names."

"My parents are kind of crazy. One is a unicorn and the other is a pegasus."

"Opposite of the cakes I see."

"Yes. It's ironic actually. They are my godparents."

"Ironic indeed." A few seconds of silence passed. "We're almost there. Are you sure you want to do this? You seem a bit nervous."

"Nah, I'm good, not nervous at all." The fact of the matter was that he was indeed nervous. So nervous that a new word is needed to express how nervous. He was, nervus.

"Well, here we are." Celestia said, gesturing at a series of various physical excercises.

"This?" He asked. It seemed like something they'd set up in gymnasiums in elementary schools, only slightly more advanced and difficult.

"Yes. You will be racing Flash Sentry to compare your time to an average guard. I have a side bet going with Shining Armor that he'll beat you."

"Gee, thanks for making me feel better about this."

"Yes, well, good luck."

"Thank you."

"No, I was talking to Fl... nevermind."

CloudStar and Flash stood side by side at the start.

"Ok, ready, GO!" Celestia shouted.

Flash ran up to a large wooden wall and flew over it with ease. CloudStar struggled climbing over it, but he managed. Flash was several yards ahead when they got to the tire run. This was something CloudStar did often at his grandpa's farm using tractor tires, so this would be easy. He expertly maneuvered past this obstacle, and Flash stumbled, the gap closed quickly. Flash flew across the next obstacle, which was a rope swing over mud. CloudStar ran full speed. jumped, grabbed the rope, and swung across with ease. Flash picked up speed when he saw how easily CloudStar passed the last obstacle.

"Cue the swinging bags!" Celestia shouted. Guards on the side of the path swung punching bags towards the center.

Flash skillfully dodged all of the bags except the last. He thought he could pass it, but it nailed his side and knocked him down. CloudStar ran shortly behind. He did the duck and weave through the bags and kicked the last one off the chain. He ran ahead to the last obstacle. A guard was waiting for him there. He quickly tossed armor on CloudStar and gave him a wood staff.

"Hit me." The guard said.

"What? Seriously?" CloudStar asked.

"Yes, hit me and you may pass."

"All right, but don't whine when it hurts." CloudStar swung the staff down. The guard grabbed the staff with his hoof and pushed it back.

"Come on, try harder."

"Oh I see. It's one of these." CloudStar feigned a strike from the right, and swung as fast as he could from the left. The guard reflected it with his hoof again.

"This is easy dude. Are you trying?"

CloudStar's eye twitched. Then he attacked again. He did a volley of strikes. Swings and jabs, lunges and stabs. Each one failing. Flash sat up and rubbed his side. He limped up to the other guard at the last station and began the same exercise. CloudStar knew Flash was much better at combat than he. He struck faster and faster, in a panic to land a hit before Flash. The guard grabbed the staff and threw it to the side, then he punched CloudStar's muzzle. CloudStar stumbled back, a hoof to his now broken nose. He looked left to see the other guard cringing on the ground. Flash was hovering above the finish line, rubbing his side. CloudStar got up, determined to at least finish. His guard helped the other up and they talked for a few minutes. CloudStar saw his moment to strike. He grabbed the staff and silently stalked up to the guard. He swung the staff, and he blocked it again.

"What the hell? How did you do that?" CloudStar asked.

"I saw your reflection in his armor." The guard answered without looking. He helped the other guard walk a few feet, then left him to do the rest. "You still haven't given up?"

"No."

"Wow, you're one resilient spirit. Now lets do this."

CloudStar adjusted his grip on the staff and swung repeatedly. The guard dodged or reflected every strike. This went on for several minutes.

"You give up yet?" He asked.

"Never." CloudStar said between pants for breath. "I will become a guard, my dreams will be true! I will be better than you!" he shouted. He swung his staff, the guard sidestepped then headbutted CloudStar. Everything went black.

"CloudStar? CloudStar are you awake?" a distant voice said.

Yes. Yes I am. Who is that? Wait, what the hell? For some reason he could form no words. He opened his eyes as wide as he could, but could only see a sliver if light.

"Wait, don't do it, I think he's awake." another voice said. Then there was a loud buzz and everything went black. CloudStar heard one more sentence before a total blackout. "Damn it, I said DON'T do it!"

CloudStar woke up in the castle infirmary. There was a heart monitor next to him beeping at a steady rate.

"What the, where am I?" he asked weakly.

"Oh, you're awake!" Flash ran up to him.

"Where am I?"

"You're in the castle infirmary, and I have great news!"

"What? I lived?"

"Well, that, and, you got the job!"

"What? But, I didn't finish."

"Yeah, but, I convinced Celestia to let you join. It'll cost me a hoof and a wing if you fail at being a guard, but hey, anything to help another stallion meet his dreams."

"Really? You got me the job?"

"Yup."

"Thanks dude, I owe you."

"Nah man,it's cool, just don't miss training tomorrow."

"I'll be out of the infirmary by then right?"

"I have no idea."

"You're joking right?"

"I wish I was CloudStar, I wish I was."

CloudStar laughed for a few seconds then looked at Flash. "Oh, you're serious."

Meeting the Elites

"So, what happened at your first training Dad?" the foal asked.

"I woke up early in the morning, earlier than most of the guards even, a good hour before the trumpet blasted my ears out, so I was up and awake by the time the guards were just waking up." CloudStar said.

"It was quite a struggle to leave such a comfortable bed at such and early hour, but I managed to escape the wonderful grasp of the infirmary bed."

"Wow, this is a huge castle." CloudStar said, wandering through the countless halls. There were a few guards walking around here and there, but none were really awake. After a few minutes he noticed that they were all either half bat or had a perfectly white coat and gold armor and seemed to be going to the same place. The bat ponies made him feel a little uneasy, so when the next white guard walked by, he stopped to talk to him. "Hey, where are all of you guys going?" he asked.

The guard inspected CloudStar closely, as if assessing if he was safe. "Well," he said after a few seconds, "we are the elite guards. We are entrusted with protecting the princesses. As you can see, the sun is starting to rise, so we are switching duty, the bat ponies guard in the night, and we sentinels guard in the day. There is a room that only the elites, as we call ourselves, meet before the trade off. Though there are two guards who were enchanted by the princesses so they never need sleep. These two stick with them no matter what. Celestia's sentinel, Gleaming Sun, and Luna's bat pony, Shadowy Moon. These guys, never fuck with them. Last guy who called Shadowy Moon a whore got his jaw ripped off."

"Why would anyone call him a whore?" CloudStar asked quietly, looking around to see if any pony were near enough to hear him.

"Well, there's a rumor that Luna picked him because she uhh." The sentinel looked around too. "Because she likes him."

"Who started it?"

"Actually the same guy who called Shadowy Moon a whore."

CloudStar stared forward blankly, fear was just visible on his face. "So, how will I know if it's Shadowy or Gleaming?"

"Well, Gleaming's armor is always so gold it hurts to stare, and Shadowy's wings have a few rips and tears in them, and the ears on his helmet are slightly taller."

"Hey, if you don't mind me asking, how did you become a sentinel? And why do you all have a blindingly white coat?"

"I can't tell you how, but when you become one, you'll either wake up one day with this white of a coat, or be a bat pony. Your armor is magically bound to you so it will change too. Also, you're CloudStar right? Grats on joining the squad."

"Oh, thanks man. Hey, where am I supposed to go?"

"Well, you woke up really early, so the training or guard meeting or whatever you want to call it won't start for an hour or two, but it will be in the center gardens, or guard-ens. Ha."

CloudStar walked away, shaking his head in disappointment at the terrible joke. He looked around the halls, looking for some sort of map or sign or something so he could tell where the center gardens were. Obviously they were in the center of the castle, but CloudStar had no clue if he was near the center, or which way the center was, in his defense, it was his first time in the castle. He saw a few more elites in his search, but the few he talked to were any help.

"I'll ask the next one who passes by, if he ignores me, then I'll just find my own way." He said to himself quietly, still wandering the halls. After a minute or so, a sentinel walked by with a bat pony by his side. The sentinel's armor was almost mythically gold, and the bat pony's wings looked like they've seen hundreds of wars. They stopped when they saw CloudStar

"Good morning." The sentinel said.

"Why would a normal guard be up at such an hour?" The bat pony asked.

"I just woke up early, anyways, could either of you tell me where the center gardens are?" CloudStar asked.

"The center of the castle." The sentinel said.

"That way." The bat pony pointed a hoof down the left hall.

"Thanks." CloudStar started walking down the hall.

"You're welcome." The elites said in unison before continuing on their walk.

CloudStar went to where the bat pony pointed. He stopped just in front of the center gardens. Wait, was that Gleaming Sun and Shadowy Moon? He looked back just in time to see them one last time. Yeah, I think it was. Cool. CloudStar turned back to the gardens and went through the doorway into them. He looked around, it was a huge open greenhouse-like dome. The top was made of glass and formed seamlessly with the castle corridors around it. "Cool." CloudStar walked in. There was a flagpole in the middle, and two ponies were standing by it. One had some sort of flag on his back, the other levitating a trumpet in front of his mouth. The one with the flag stretched his wings and flew up the pole a little ways. He looked at his hoof for about a minute then pointed at the unicorn with the trumpet. The next thing CloudStar heard was a second of loud trumpeting then some ringing. The pegasus hung the flag on the flagpole.

Flash Sentry walked up to CloudStar. "Mmm hmmm, mm hm hm?" he asked.

"What?" CloudStar shouted.

"Hm mmm, mmm hmmm mm hm hm?"

"What?"

"Mmmm, hm hhm mmm hmmhmmm."

"What?"

Flash grabbed CloudStar's ear and blew into it roughly.

"OW!"

"Can you hear me now?"

"Yes."

"Were you too close to the trumpet?"

"Yeah, now what do you want?"

"Oh, I was just wondering how you beat the guards here, the infirmary is a good half hour walk from here."

"I woke up early."

"Oh, I see."

"So, what happened in the training pop?" The foal asked.

"I don't remember much more of that day, just that it was difficult and all my muscles were sore afterwards." CloudStar answered.

"Awww."

"I know, I wish I had a better memory too, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning, but oh well. I still remember a lot of what happened while I was a guard."