The Weight of Eternity
You fall to one knee in the snow, tired, sweating, bleeding, and gasping for breath.
"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain," a beautifully feminine voice rings out across the clearing. "You're going to live for a long, long time, Anonymous, so don't take your decisions lightly; they'll affect everypony in the long run."
This Alicorn is like nothing you or Starswirl could have ever dreamed about. You've barely held your own against her, even though you've been giving it all you've got. Your scar burns hot across your chest, and the pain is beginning to blur your vision, aided even more by the snowstorm that's been stirring since you arrived.
Even the giant trees that surround you are becoming harder to recognize, though your long and unexpected fight has all but destroyed the wooded area around you.
Suddenly she moves again and you tense up, readying yourself for another bout. The wind is freezing you to the bone, and you can barely see in front of you. The cold is making harder and harder for you to breathe, and your lungs feel like they're on fire.
You won't last much longer unless you think of something quick, but you won't give up; you can't.
However, much to your surprise, she releases the magic in her horn, causing it to fade from shining silver to a bright white, and she begins to walk out of the small and once beautiful clearing.
"What are you doing?" you cautiously ask in-between heavy breaths.
She pauses and turns her head back to you as the wind pushes her scarlet mane behind her and over her bright white coat of fur, creating a stunningly beautiful contrast like your blood on the snow.
"I'm through, you can go now," she replies with an almost irritatingly calm demeanor.
You squint at her in confusion and disbelief. "So, after all that, you're just going to let me go?"
She shows you a deceptively beautiful smile; the same smile that caught you off-guard when she first approached you.
"Yes, I am," she says, resuming her walk back into the forest, her long red mane still flowing in the wind behind her.
"Wait, don't leave!" you call out to her. "I have so many questions I want to ask you!"
She hesitates for a moment, then turns around to face you again. The chilling breeze carries her scent as it washes over you; a mix of wild flowers and citrus fruit. It's an aroma so relaxing that the tension from the intense fight begins to melt away.
"Alright, I'll allow you one question."
You give her an exhausted look. "What? Just one?"
She nods. "Just one, so make it count."
Stinging sweat falls into your eyes as you consider which of the dozens of questions you have for her is the most important. Eventually, you settle on the one that's been nagging you since you first met her in the destroyed castle.
"What's your name?"
She laughs, a heavenly sound that rings through the nameless forest. "My name?" she giggles. "Is that really what you wish to know?"
You look up into her indigo eyes, the only part of her alluring figure that reveals her true age.
"Yes, please, tell me your name."
She smiles again, a gesture you could never tire of. "My name is-"
WOOOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!
WOOOOOO....WOOOOOOOO....
You're awakened from meditation by the noisy train whistle; the conductor seems to enjoy pulling it every time you decide to close your eyes. You yawn and stand, stretch your limbs to limber up some, then slump back into your seat with a heavy sigh. Well, to be fair, that's actually only the third or fourth time he's blown the whistle this entire time. Save for that and the constant chugging of the wheels on the tracks, it's been a very peaceful trip.
The ride from Manehattan to Ponyville by express train is about seven hours, but despite the long ride, you haven't been able to relax very much, even though you were up all day and most of the night before. Perhaps it's because of your anticipation to see the little town again after so many years, or maybe it's because you're worried that things have changed so much in the last sixty years that you won't recognize it.
A strange unicorn mare you met on the road a few days ago is the reason for your lack of rest; she was pestering you constantly while you were preparing to leave for your trip. Because you had to cater to her, you didn't get your affairs in order on time, so you had to skip your weekly meditation, which has replaced your need to sleep every night.
You had been walking along the road one day when you saw her; a blue unicorn mare, traveling alone in a beat-up old cart and slowly becoming surrounded by timberwolves. She held her own against them for a short while, which impressed you, but she was soon overwhelmed. You jumped in to help beat them back, probably saving her life in the process.
She passed out soon after she was safe, exhausted from the fight and her travels. You took her and her cart back to Manehattan where you were staying, where she eventually woke up in a guest bedroom dazed and confused. She kept referring to herself in the third person, which you found strange, but didn't question her speaking habits.
At first you thought it was head trauma, but when she didn't stop, you just assumed it was how she talked.
She had every right to be nervous, though she seemed to adjust quite well. Judging by the cart she was riding around in, she wasn't used to living in a house as big as yours, and with a servant, no less. You asked her to stay there until she felt well enough to come to Canterlot, which could be weeks from now. Until then, she has a mansion to herself and your butler at her beck and call.
She didn't seem to be in any rush, but she promised she would meet you when she felt able to.
You gaze out of the only window in your little cabin, your mind wandering away from the blue unicorn. The terrain flying by is covered with tall grass and blue wildflowers for as far as the eye can see. The flowers weren't always there, but after more than half a century, they've covered the landscape from Ponyville to the eastern side of the Everfree Forest.
Seeing them brings back pleasant memories of your time spent in Ponyville. As your train speeds along the countryside, you drift away into the distant past as you tend to do when you are alone, or are reminded of someone who was once important to you.
There's something magical about daydreaming in Equestria. You've been alive for so long, but all of your memories are perfectly preserved, so every little detail comes in crystal-clear.
One important person comes to mind, along with a once important place; Sweet Apple Acres, a small apple farm a ways out from the town.
You recall that little apple farm was run by a very proud and very green earth pony. She had a big family, but they all eventually left their humble home for greater pursuits in life, or to start family farms of their own. She did have a son, however, and he seemed like a smart little colt. He's probably grown into a fine stallion.
You scratch your stubble-covered chin as you wonder if he'll remember you, though you think not. He was only a few years old when you left, and that was so very long ago. Hell, he's probably had foals of his own now, and even they could have foals.
As for the green mare... her name was Grand. Granny, if you were a friend, and you're most definitely a friend.
She was upset when you left last time, even though you promised that you would be back to visit soon. She just scoffed; she knew you well enough to know you wouldn't visit, and damn if she wasn't right. She was probably better off without you in her life, anyway.
You used to write to her once a month, but she eventually quit responding. She might have been trying to get you to come back to see her, or maybe she was just too busy running her farm. You didn't save any of her letters, except for one. Because of your strange ability to remember things perfectly, you really didn't need to keep them. But this particular one had something in it that was special to you.
You reach into an old leather backpack that you've had for ages and pull out an age-stained envelope. You gently open it and pull out the letter, along with a photo she sent you of her and her son in front of their farm.
Despite the great lengths you went through to keep it in good condition, the ink on the parchment is almost unreadable, and the black-and-white photo is fading. But in your mind, you can still remember every word on the letter and every detail on the photo as they were the day they found their way into your hands.
Her son has a big smile on his face, and for some reason, he's almost completely covered in mud. She has a little mud on her as well, but is clean for the most part. They're standing under a wooden arch with a big sign that says "Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres" on it. That sign was falling over when you left, and you always gave her trouble over it during your stay.
"She'll be old as dirt by now," you chuckle to yourself, "but she's probably still the same Granny Smith that I remember. Her nickname will suit her better now, I suppose."
Well, you're DEFINITELY older than dirt, but she's actually going to look like it. You still look the same age you were when you came to Equestria. Not that it was called "Equestria" when you got here, but that's besides the point.
You know that she couldn't be dead; that mare was too stubborn to let death get the best of her. She'll be alive until she's damn good and ready to stop living.
You allow yourself another chuckle at the thought of your old friend before reminding yourself why you're returning in the first place. Unkept promises to old friends aside, you boarded a train six-and-a-half hours ago to head towards the capital of Equestria; Ponyville actually just happens to be on the way.
Canterlot is another place that you've been away from for a very long time, although you could say that you've simply been avoiding it. After all, you've been alive for quite a while, so not all of the memories from your long life are pleasant.
Dark memories that you only wish you could forget flood back, among them a reminder of yet another reason for your homecoming: Discord, the spirit of disharmony, has returned. For the second time. But for some reason, the town you were in at the time didn't turn into goat cheese and hairballs like his first return. Even though it hadn't, you would have felt his presence no matter where you were in the world. The stink of his magic is powerful and unmistakable.
Your brow furrows as you remember the chaos he wrought on Equestria all those years ago. It took two Alicorns and what could possibly be the strongest magic known to Ponykind just to seal him in stone.
Speaking of that magic, it's been almost two years since word reached you that the Elements of Harmony have been found again and right in your old backyard, no less.
It's not as if you really care about the elements themselves, but you're fairly interested in meeting their new wielders. They'll no doubt be somewhere near the Princess herself, keeping a close eye on Discord.
The two sisters that defeated Discord originally ended up becoming the rulers of Equestria, and they put his petrified body in a garden behind their castle to keep an eye on him. Fortunate for you they didn't kill him; you have plenty of questions for him that are going to be answered. You've wanted to speak with him personally for a very, very long time.
Perhaps it's coincidental then that your old friend, Princess Celestia, has sent you a summons. She has a new protégé that has recently become a princess herself, and Celestia thought it would be a good idea to send for you to help teach her how to control her newfound magical abilities.
In the letter Celestia sent you, she mentioned that Princess Twilight was having problems similar to the ones you stumbled through when you arrived in Equestria and still afflict you today. It was only through rigorous training and meditation taught to you by your teacher that saved you, so you go to Canterlot now in the hopes that you can pass on his lessons to what Celestia said was an eager and faithful student.
You've learned the hard way over your lifetime that magic is no laughing matter, so controlling one's own abilities is of the upmost importance. However, despite the hard lessons you've learned, you haven't been able to finish your own meditation this past week, which could-
Your inner thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the cabin door. A familiar nasally voice breaks the hypnotic sound of the wheels on the tracks.
"Sir, please excuse me, but I wished to inform you that we shall be arriving at your stop soon."
"Very good, Jennings. Thank you."
Your butler, Jennings, has come along with you on this trip, even though you told him you no longer required his services and insisted that he stay in Manehattan with his family. You paid him the rest of his forty years wages in advance and told him that you weren't coming back.
He was surprised, but he did not ask why. He's worked for you long enough to know that you don't like anyone asking questions about motives to your actions, or why you occasionally leave suddenly and without warning. And you especially don't care for questions about where your money comes from.
He's a good pony and a good friend. You wished that you could trust everypony you meet with your true identity, but that's a right that only a few beings on this world have had in the last millennia, give or take a few centuries.
Your methods of keeping secrets has kept you moderately safe, but has weighed heavily on you more times than most people would be able to remember; unfortunately for you, you can't forget a single memory of your stay here in Equestria, whether it's good or bad.
You take another look out of the window to see that the forest has come into view, blocking everything else in sight. You don't have much time left to yourself, so you'd better get started. You stand and stretch one more time, then close your eyes to concentrate.
This level of magic is usually difficult for even the most advanced casters, but this particular spell was made a part of your being when you received your never-ending youth. You bring your hands level with your chest and each other, with your palms facing upwards. You inhale deeply, then quickly exhale as you push your hands down towards the floor.
Magic permeates the air with a bright red flash, and you're instantly transformed into a middle-aged earth pony with a dark tan coat and a dirty blonde mane that's been slicked back to imitate a wealthy business pony's. A black suit and jacket with a red tie magically poof into existence, replacing the plain but comfortable loose clothing that you prefer as a human, just as the train begins to slow down to a stop. You take one last look out the tiny circular window to see that you've finally arrived at the Ponyville train station.
You can already tell that things have changed since your last visit, but you smile regardless. You walk to the door and slide it open with a hoof, then step out into the hallway. You turn to close it, but notice you've left your leather backpack and your friend's old photograph. With a quick glance down each side of the hallway to make sure no one was looking, you briefly concentrate on the backpack and, with a flash of simple magic, the photograph and the letter glow red and reinsert themselves into the old envelope, which then floats into the backpack.
The backpack then glows red and quickly floats over to you, fastening itself onto your torso. The effort makes the scar on your chest burn slightly, but you hardly notice the old familiar sting. You raise your hoof again and close the door, then turn to move down the hallway when you notice that a blue little earth filly is staring at you from a few doors down. She must have walked out of her cabin after you checked the hallway.
Judging from her giant eyes and the look on her face, it's obvious that she's wondering how an earth pony just magically levitated a backpack onto his back. You smile and walk towards her.
Her excited squeaky little voice fills the hallway."Mistah! Did yoo jus use magic?"
You whisper, "Shh...yes, I did. It's a secret though, so don't tell anypony, okay?"
"Buh how did yoo do that without a horn?"
"Do you really want to know? I'll tell you if you promise to keep it a secret, okay?"
She nods quickly and smiles eagerly. "I pwomise!" You look around to "make sure no one is listening" and bend down to whisper into her twitching ear.
"Okay. The secret is that you have to be nice to everypony you meet and listen to your mom and dad. One day, you'll be able to use magic just like me. But don't tell anypony, okay? It's a secret!"
Her smile grows wider, and she nods again. "Dun worree, I pwomise!" You return her smile and give her a little pat on the head, then walk past her to the exit at the end of the cab. As you're walking out of the open door, you hear her call out, "Thanks mistah!"
You turn back and give her a wave goodbye, finally exiting the train and stepping onto the platform, where Jennings is waiting for you. He looks visibly upset, and he's obviously trying to hide it without much success. You approach him with a friendly smile.
"You really didn't have to come along with me, Jennings. I told you that I know my way around here fairly well. Your time is better spent looking after your family than your old boss."
He looks a little shaken at your words, so you move closer to him and place a hoof on his shoulder.
"Now now, don't be upset; there's no need for that. I appreciate the thought, and you should know that. But if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times; your family should come first. Life is too short for you to waste it on me."
He relaxes some, but as you pull your hoof off of his shoulder, he pulls you into a tight hug that catches you off guard. His nasally voice is even higher than usual as he starts to yell uncontrollably.
"You've done more for me and my wife and children than anypony ever could, sir, so as far as I'm concerned, you're a part of my family. You took me in, introduced me to my wife, and helped us settle in to Manehattan when we lost our home to Discord's mischief, and I just don't know what we'll do without you. I can only hope our foals grow up to be half the stallion you are."
You let out a hearty laugh and pat him a few times on the back, but it takes him a moment to let go. When he finally does, you pull away and see that he's started tearing up. You can't help but smile and shake your head at your emotional friend. You place a hoof on his shoulder again and give him a friendly shake.
"Please, don't be upset. Anypony would do for you what I have done after seeing what a great stallion you are. You deserve every bit of happiness that is coming your way, and your wife falling for you was your own doing, not mine. Just see to it that you're there for my guest until she leaves, and I'll call it even."
He sniffles some, but it seems like he's finally calmed down. You pat him again on the back, then finally break contact.
He gives you a look of worry. "Don't worry, sir. I'll see to it that she's well taken care of, but- well, will you be okay? You won't have a home to return to after you're done here, after all."
You've sold your home to the wealthy Orange family in Manehattan that's been buying up all the real estate they can, probably so they can re-sell it all in twenty years for twice its worth. They'd been hounding you for quite a while, but you had no intention of selling until you received a summons from Celestia. You sold it for a ridiculously low price, but you made them agree that your unicorn guest could stay until she was ready to meet you in Canterlot.
But your affairs are no longer for Jennings to worry about.
"Please don't worry about me, old friend. I'll be fine, but if you keep stalling me like this, you'll miss your return trip. Get going!"
It looks like he has more to say, but as he opens his mouth, the train whistle sounds off, and the ponies at the doors begin to yell, "ALL ABOARD FOR MANEHATTAN!" He turns with a shocked look, then gallops off to the train.
The doors close behind him after he boards his ride home. He finds his way to an open window and waves goodbye one last time as the train departs. You return the wave, then turn around to leave the station. The sun has just risen to its full height in the sky, and the wind pushes your back as you head towards the town that has, somewhat to your dismay, grown so much in the last sixty years.
You step off the platform and onto the sidewalk leading into town, taking in everything that you can along the way. The smell of wildflowers on the wind is strong, even as you approach the first buildings of Ponyville. It's a short walk to the edge of town, but you notice so many things that have changed in your absence.
There is a schoolhouse that was not there before, with colts and fillies playing happily in the yard, while a pink mare -whom you assume to be the school teacher- shouts at a few acting up. It seems like two fillies were picking on another; something about not having her cutie mark yet. Ah, well, children will behave like children.
Not far away from the school, you spot a large white and purple building with carousel poles and marble ponies on the balconies and fleur de lis decorating the windows. You're not entirely sure what this building is there for, so you move closer to take a look.
There is a sign above the door that says, "Rarity's Carousel Boutique". Underneath the name, the lettering continues, "Special orders welcome!"
So, it's a tailoring shop. Perhaps a bit fancy for your tastes, but maybe you'll pay Miss Rarity a visit later anyway. You could use some new clothes for when you revert to your human form, and judging by the looks of her shop, you doubt she would ask questions if you paid her well enough.
You check the door for operating times and notice two additional signs; one has the hours she normally works, the other says that she is out on business in Canterlot and all orders are put on hold until then.
Canterlot, eh? She must be a mare of influence to put off a chance to make money and travel to the capital of Equestria. Maybe you'll bump into her there and not even know it. You turn about and continue your walk into town, heading for the direction that you remember the apple farm is in.
Ponies of all ages turn and look at you, most likely just taking notice of the stranger in their small town. Some of them give a friendly wave, but others take it upon themselves to approach you for a more formal welcome.
"Do you need directions? Are you new in town? My name is so and so, what's yours?"
Typical questions, typical responses.
"No, thank you though. No, I've been here before, though the town has changed some. Oh, you can call me Anonymous. Nice to meet you."
After a few minutes, ponies stop approaching you to greet you. You walk along uninterrupted for a few minutes, hoping it stays like that until you reach the farm.
That is, until you pass by a bakery letting out a smell so tantalizingly good, it puts some of the meals you've had in the last century to shame. You haven't eaten any sort of home-made desserts in a long time.
"I guess it couldn't hurt to stop for a snack before I reach the farm," you mumble to yourself as you change course and head directly to the store.
A sign above the door reads, "Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner, Ponyville's favorite bakery!" You push the door open and step inside. The bells above the door jingle loudly as it opens and closes.
If the smell outside the shop was delicious, then the aroma inside could only be described as intoxicating. Your mouth begins to water as the smells tug at your senses, soon aided by the sight of pastries of all kinds on display in glass cases on and in a counter; most of them look too good to pass up.
The small counter is about six feet long and stands in front of a staircase. It sports a plain looking metallic register and a shiny bell that customers ring for service. The interior looks more like a cozy home than a bakery; the floor is made of plain wooden planks, with a few rugs here and there to add some color. The walls are decorated with different wooden carvings painted to look like candy and other assorted sweets. There are two windows, but only to the left and right of the door and nowhere else. Near the back of the room is a swinging door that looks like it leads to the kitchen.
Around six or seven small tables dot the room, and despite the charming interior and aroma, most of them are empty, save for an old stallion in the back right corner that's sipping coffee and reading the daily newspaper.
You approach the counter and ring the bell, then are immediately greeted by a hyper-active pink earth pony with a matching curly pink mane. Her blue eyes shine brightly at her new customer, whom she greets with contagious enthusiasm.
"Hi there! Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner!" she yells out excitedly. "What can I get for you today?"
You’re taken aback by her appearance; she looks exactly like an old friend that should be long dead. You're so surprised, that you can't respond. It’s all you can do to keep your jaw from falling to the floor.
Could she really be…?
She suddenly lets out a dramatic gasp, which pulls you out of your stupor.
"Oh my goodness! You're new in Ponyville, aren't you, mister? We've never met, so you must be new; that means that I've got a treat for you!"
You're not sure if she rhymed on purpose or not, but you crack a smile regardless.
She hops around the counter, and the old stallion in the back looks up from his paper, then rolls his eyes and continues to read. Although you enjoy her cheerfulness, you're starting to realize why this place is mostly empty during lunchtime. It probably gets most of its business from catering and parties.
The mare produces a horn seemingly from thin air and blows into it enthusiastically, letting out a very loud and very off-key blast. She then offers you a plate with a delicious looking apple turnover, again seemingly from nowhere.
"Sorry I can't give you a full song mister. I was asked not to sing too much while I was working the counter, but they never said anything about me blowing a horn!"
You take the turnover from her and begin to thank her.
"Thank you very much, Miss...?"
"Oh! I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie, but you can call me Pinkie Pie! All of my friends call me Pinkie though, so you can call me that too if you want to be my friend! I hope you do mister, because I want to be everypony's friend!"
She motions for you to sit down at a nearby table, so you sit with your tasty looking snack and your new friend takes a seat opposite of you. She's just staring at you though; maybe she's waiting for you to taste the turnover?
Her eyes grow to the size of saucers as you reach for the pastry, so you take that as a yes. You bend to the plate and open your mouth to take a bite. What follows happens so quickly that you can barely process what happens, as it happens.
First, as soon as you take a bite of the pastry, Pinky Pie's tail stands straight up, and she leaps up from the table.
Second, the turnover is flaky and delicious; a perfect midday snack.
Third and finally, your scar burns slightly as she tackles you to the ground while a rock flies through the window at an immense speed, past right where your head was a split second before, and into the wall with such force that it imbeds itself into the wood. She stands up and looks you over with a worried expression.
"Oh my goodness, are you okay? That mean 'ole rock came out of nowhere! Here, let me help you up." She pushes her head underneath your torso and lifts you back onto your hooves, all while you chew the pastry.
"Thank you, Miss Pie. I imagine that rock would have hurt very badly, had it hit me."
You calmly finish the last few bites of your pastry, then walk over to the window to inspect the damage. The rock went clean through like a bullet, so only a few cracks were made.
"It looks like some unicorn colts may have been playing in the street; too much magic energy in such a small object can have unpredictable results, you know."
You turn back around and walk back to the table, bend over to pick up the chair, then set it back to its original position. You notice the stallion in the back is eyeing you both strangely. When you return his stare, he grunts and goes back to reading his paper, while mumbling something under his breath. You look back to Pinkie and smile broadly.
"How in Equestria did you know that was going to happen, Miss Pie? I have to say, it was very impressive. And your turnover was delicious, by the way."
She returns your smile ten-fold. "Thanks mister! And that was just my Pinkie-sense! It lets me know when something strange is about to happen; three twitches of my tail and an itch on my forehead means that a rock is going to fly towards my new friend's head!" She gasps again, as if she suddenly realized something.
"Oh my goodness! If my Pinkie-sense says that you're my friend, that must mean you think we're friends now! But I don't even know your name?"
You introduce yourself with a bow. "It's Anonymous; a pleasure to meet you, Miss Pinkie." As you talk, you brush the dust from the floor off of your illusionary suit. "As much fun as I've had here, I really should be going now. Thank you very much for the tasty snack; how much do I owe you for it?"
She giggles at your question like it was an incredibly silly thing to ask. "Don't be so silly, Anonymous! It was my treat!" She pauses for a moment. "Well no, actually it was your treat. But it was my treat to give you the treat! But wait, why are you in such a hurry to leave? You could stay and try some more snacks!"
You shake your head and give the fun little pink earth pony a solemn look. As much as you're enjoying her company, you really should be going. However...
"I’m sorry, Pinkie. I have a personal errand to run while I'm in town. However, if you'd like to, you’re more than welcome to come along with me. I would certainly enjoy the company, and I might need directions at some point."
Her eyes light up, then she zooms into the double doors at the back of the room. As she runs into the kitchen, you hear her call out, "Have to tell the cakes I'm leaving," which you find to be just a little strange. Why would she want to tell her cakes that she's leaving? Eh, you've seen stranger things than that, and it's probably none of your business.
You walk over to the rock that is embedded in the wall, and with some effort, pull it out with your teeth. You didn't mean to throw the rock so hard, but at least you were right in your assumption. Thank goodness for that, but you were almost one hundred percent certain that she would save you.
You probably could have done a better job hiding your surprise when you first saw her, but then again, she is so bubbly and hyperactive that you doubt she would have noticed if you had done worse. This is certainly turning into a very happy homecoming.
A few moments later, Pinkie returns through the door and hops over to you, then continues to hop in place. She is soon followed by two worried looking earth ponies; one a yellow stallion with an orange mane and tail that stands about as tall as you are in pony form, the other a short blue mare with a pink swirly mane that stands up, resembling a cake decoration.
They both rush over to you and begin to apologize profusely. You can barely make out what they're saying because they're interrupting and finishing each other's sentences.
"Oh, we're so sorry that you-"
"Almost got hurt while you were-"
"Eating! Me and my honey bun, we heard-"
"The glass breaking, and we just assumed it was-"
"A dish breaking. Pinkie can be a little clumsy sometimes, and-"
You look back and forth to each one as they speak. As adorable as they are, you can't take much more of this. You raise a hoof to silence them, and they immediately stop talking, though their troubled expressions don't change. You spit the rock out and begin to talk.
"Please, it wasn't your fault at all. And Pinkie actually prevented me from being hurt, so there really isn't anything to fuss over. In fact, I insist that you let me pay for the window."
They both look at you in disbelief, then at each other, then at Pinkie, before finally turning their attention back to you. The stallion approaches you, and the mare thankfully doesn't interrupt him as he begins to speak.
"Please sir, you don't have to do that," he says in a worried tone. "It was probably just some colts playing a little too roughly in the street. These sorts of things don’t usually happen, so we just wouldn't feel right if you offered us money to pay for it."
You un-strap your backpack and set it gently on the floor, then reach into it and pull out a bag full of bits in your teeth and set it on your hoof.
"Oh, nonsense; your employee likely just saved my life, and I'm very grateful for it."
Not to mention," you add before he can say no again, "the pastry she served me was delicious; probably the best turnover I've had in years. I insist you let me pay for the window, and there isn't anything you can say to change my mind. I can be very stubborn, you know."
You extend the hoof holding the bits, and the yellow stallion hesitantly reaches out and grabs them in his teeth, his eyes growing a little wider when he feels how heavy it is. The blue mare approaches you now with a nervous smile.
”Thank you so very much for being so generous. We never got the chance to introduce ourselves, did we? I’m Mrs. Cup Cake, and this is my husband, Carrot Cake. We’re the owners of Sugar Cube Corner.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you both." You bow slightly as you introduce yourself. "My name is Anonymous. I have to say that this is a very pleasant bakery you have. The service is fantastic, it's very quiet, and the food is delicious. I'll certainly tell my friends in Manehattan and Canterlot about it when I see them again. Many aristocrats I know enjoy fine pastries like the ones you serve here."
Her face lights up as she smiles; you knew that would give her something to think about other than the window. "Well, we would certainly appreciate that very much, wouldn't we darling?" She turns to her husband, who spits out the heavy sack of coins onto a hoof to respond.
"Yes, yes of course! Thank you Mr. Anonymous, you're a very kind stallion to do so much for us. Is there any way we could return the favor?"
Oh, how very nice of him to offer.
"As a matter of fact, there is one small thing you can do for me, if you wouldn't mind."
His wife doesn't skip a beat. "Of course, Mr. Anonymous. What can we do for you?"
"If it's okay, I was wondering if you would allow Miss Pinkie to show me around town for a while? I've enjoyed her company very much, and I think she would make an excellent tour guide. If you wouldn't mind me taking away your employee for a while, I would gladly call it even."
They sigh as if a heavy weight has just been taken off of their backs; they were probably expecting something outrageous. "Pinkie doesn't officially work here. She lives with us free of charge and volunteers to help us bake and work the counter. She can come and go as she pleases, so naturally she can show you around town if she wants."
Pinkie stops hopping for a moment and says, "Yep!" then continues hopping excitedly. You chuckle at the silly pink mare; you can tell you're going to get along just fine. You turn back to the Cakes.
"Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Cake. I really should be going; I'm only in town for a short while before I have to head off to Canterlot. I came to visit an old friend that lives here, but the smell of your delicious desserts desstra... distracted me."
The Cakes and Pinkie all giggle at your slip up. Mrs. Cake waves it off with a hoof. "Please, don't let us keep you. Enjoy your stay here, Anonymous. And please come back before you leave to have another snack, on the house."
"Thank you ma'am, I will. You ready Pinkie?" you say, turning to the pink mare.
She gives you a hyper nod. "Yeppity yep yep!" And with that, you open the door for your new friend, who happily hops out of the bakery under the jingle of the doorbells. You give a final wave goodbye to the friendly owners as the door cheerfully jingles shut behind you both. Pinkie looks at you excitedly and asks, "Where do you want to go?"
"Could you bring me to Sweet Apple Acres? A friend of mine that I haven't seen in a very long time lives there, and I wanted to surprise her while I was in town."
"Ooo! Sure, I can bring you there. One of my bestest friends in the whole wide world lives there! Oh my gosh, wouldn't it be fun if she was both of our friends?" She begins hopping down the street in the direction of the apple farm, so you follow right behind her.
"Yes, that would certainly be something, wouldn't it?" Suddenly, an idea occurs to you that you hadn't thought. "Say, Pinkie. Have you ever been to Canterlot before?"
"Yeah, I sure have! My friend Twilight is there right now studying with Princess Celestia."
"Ah, so you're friends with Princess Twilight? I'm actually planning on meeting her very soon. Are you friends with Princess Celestia and her sister as well?"
"Uh-huh! I am, and I know the old captain of the guard and Princess Cadence!"
Wow, this mare really gets around.
"I'm actually pretty good friends with Luna and Celestia too, though I haven't seen them in quite some time. I've never actually met Princess Cadence, but I've heard a lot of great things about her."
Pinkie giggles in front of you. "Well, you should definitely meet her one day, Anon."
"Hmm. So anyway, I have to go to Canterlot when I'm done here, but I'd like to spend some more time with you. Do you want to come with me? There's something I'd like to tell you, but I'd like to wait until I'm in Canterlot."
Her happy expression doesn't change. "Of course I'll go with you, Anon! Maybe Applejack will want to go too! Can she come with us?"
"Who is Applejack? Is she a friend of yours?"
"Uh-huh! She's the super-bestest friend that lives at the farm! Can she come too?"
You probably shouldn't bring too many guests with you, but it couldn't hurt to have one more come along.
"Sure, that's not a problem. I'd like to meet her anyway."
She smiles at you and continues to hop down the road. " You'll see her when we get there, so don't worry! She lives in Sweet Apple Acres with her Granny and her brother and sister. We're almost there, by the way." She begins to hum happily as she hops along.
The granny that lives there is probably your friend, Granny. So she really does have grandkids, but what about her son?
A knot forms in your gut that makes you think twice about asking Pinkie, so to take your mind off it, you look around and observe your surroundings.
Buildings are still lined up around here, but they're slowly becoming sparse. During your last visit, this was just a dirt road beaten down by an apple cart with no buildings for a good long while. The town has grown a lot.
Another few minutes pass in silence between you and Pinkie, save for her cheerful humming. The buildings become less and less prominent until all that's to your left and right are rolling hills and open plains covered in blooming wildflowers. As an old familiar sign comes into view your pace begins to pick up a little bit, bringing you side-to side with Pinkie. You can barely contain your nervousness, so you try to strike up another conversation with her.
"So, Pinkie. Do you remember when we were in the bakery and you said that you were going to "Tell the cakes you're leaving?"
She nods. "Uh-huh! Why?"
"Well, I didn't know that the owner's names were Mr. and Mrs. Cake. So when you said that, I thought you were actually going to tell a bunch of cakes that you were leaving."
Pinkie suddenly stops hopping and rolls on the ground in a fit of laughter. "Anon, tha-that's the silliest thing I-I-I...ppfffthahahaha!"
You can't help but chuckle with her, but it takes her a little longer than it took you to stop. She eventually rolls back onto her feet and continues hopping.
"Y'know to be honest Anon, when I first saw you, I thought that you would be kinda stuck up. I would have still been friends with you, but I didn't know if you would have wanted to be friends with me. So when I found out you did, I was really excited. But I didn't know if we would still be friends when you left, so I'm glad you asked me to come with you. You're really funny."
Somehow, hearing her laughter and her simple praise of you made all of your nervousness and tension fade away. You can only hope she'll feel the same way later, when she finds out your secret.
"Thanks, Pinkie. You know, you remind me of a friend that I haven't seen in a very, very long time."
She turns her head in surprise. "Really? Nopony's ever told me that!" She faces forward again with her head held high. "Because there's only one Pinkie Pie!"
"Yeah, I suppose so." But you know that's not true. She may be Pinkie Pie, but your memories scream a different name when you see her face.
You've both reached the gate to Sweet Apple Acres. The sign that looms above your heads has faded lettering, but is otherwise kept firmly in place. Pinkie approaches the old wooden gate and pushes it open easily, then continues hopping down the road towards an old wooden house off in the distance.
Besides the house, a few other buildings make up the apple farm: a large, colorful barn that looks as though it's been raised quite recently, several chicken coops, and a granary far off in the distance.
The wildflowers gave way to apple trees on the rolling hills and as far as the eye can see beyond the farm. You can't see from this distance, but you know that the trees become so thick towards the end of their orchard that you can't tell where the apple orchard ends, and the Everfree begins...unless you know what to look for.
You stop walking to take it all in. Pinkie turns around and gives you another look, but this time it's one of excitement. She calls out to you, "Are you ready to see your friend again Anon? I'm sure they'll be happy to see you!"
You walk up to Pinkie and give her an assuring smile. You know she'll be happy to see you. "Yeah, I am. Let's head over to-”
A feminine voice with a thick and familiar accent calls out to you and Pinkie from behind a nearby appletree
.
"Howdy Pinkie Pie! Who's yer friend there?" An orange-coated mare with a big brown cowboy hat walks out into the open. Her blonde mane hangs over her shoulder in a ponytail, and her actual pony's tail is tied in a similar fashion, swaying back and forth as she approaches the two of you.
This must be Applejack, the friend Pinkie Pie was talking about a few minutes ago, which also makes her Granny's granddaughter. Even if she hadn't said they were related, you would have instantly made the family connection. She bears a striking resemblance to her grandmother, although the color of her coat more resembles her father's.
Pinkie hops in front of you to greet Applejack, so you follow behind her. "This is Anonymous!" she says enthusiastically. "He's on his way to Canterlot, but he wanted to stop and say hi to a friend that lives here. I didn't ask who it is because I want it to be a surprise!" She turns to you and says, "Anon, this is Applejack. She's the super bestest friend that I told you about earlier."
You stop next to Pinkie to formally greet Applejack yourself. You raise a hoof out for her, a common greeting among pony folk. "Nice to meet you, Miss Applejack," you say with some formality, even though you have a hunch that it might be wasted on this particular mare.
She gives you a smile with her introduction. "Pleasure tah meet ya, Anonymous." She hits your outstretched hoof with more force than a normal mare, or even most stallions, could produce. You were expecting it though. After all, her grandmother was one of the toughest mares you'd ever met, so her granddaughter should be no different.
She sets hers back on the ground with a laugh. "Well, you're a little sturdier than yah look, Mr. Anonymous. And please, just call me Applejack, or AJ for short, none ah that Miss stuff. There's no reason to be so uptight with the name callin' 'round here."
"No problems there, AJ." You say her name like you've known her your whole life, which provokes another laugh out of her. "Just call me Anon, then."
"There yah go, ain't that better? Heh. Well, Anon, who exactly is it you're lookin' for?"
"A friend of mine. Her name is Granny Smith."
"Well, that's my granny! she exclaims, somewhat surprised. How do y'all know each other?" she asks in a curious tone. "I don't think she's ever mentioned you before."
If she's anything like her granny, she'll see through any lie you tell her, so you'd better tread lightly on this subject. It's probably best if you're vague.
"Oh, well, I used to know her pretty well when we- I, was younger. I just haven't seen her in a while, so I thought I'd stop by on my way to Canterlot. Is she around?"
Applejack gives you a shake of her head. "No. I'm sorry, but she an' mah brother are out of town on an errand, and they won't be back for around about a week. I'm finishing up what's left of the harvest season here alone 'till they get back; y'all just happened to catch me takin' a little break," she says as she leans back and stretches on her haunches.
Your heart sinks low in your chest. After all your built-up excitement to see your friend again, she isn't even here.
"Oh, well, that's alright." you say, doing your best not to sound too downtrodden. "I should be somewhere near town in a week, so I'll just drop by again. If it's okay, that is."
"Now now, don't get all uptight on me again," she laughs. "'Course it's okay." She turns to Pinkie. "Pinkie, are you goin' with him tah Canterlot, or are yah waiting for the rest of us? We're supposed to head up there soon anyway to see Twilight, remember?"
Pinkie nods. "Yup! He asked me to go with him and I just couldn't say no to my new friend! You don't mind, do you? Because I don't want to upset an old friend, either!"
Applejack shakes her head at Pinkie. "Now, why in Equestria would I mind if you left early? There's nothing wrong with that." She puts a hoof on her chin, as if a thought suddenly occurred to her. "Come to think of it, Rarity's left already, hasn't she? So that leaves me, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash. They won't be ready for another day at least, so if Anon here has to leave soon, then y'all should just go ahead and get a move on. Don't worry 'bout us."
Pinkie's smile grows so wide, you think she's going to start squealing out of sheer joy. She rushes towards Applejack, closing the short distance between them in an instant and wraps her in a tight hug.
"Thank you, Applejack! You're such a good friend! We'll see all of you when you get there!"
Applejack chuckles and pats Pinkie on the back. "Alright then, y'all should just go on ahead. I've still got some work to do before we head up there, so I guess we'll just meet ya up in Canterlot." She tips her hat towards you. "Nice meetin' you, Anon. Be sure to come back and visit Granny when you get a chance."
"Yeah, I will. Nice meeting you, too." You give her a wave, then head back out towards the gate with Pinkie hopping and humming right behind you. You can hear the loud clops of Applejack bucking a tree as you exit the farm; a hard worker, just like her granny.
You're glad that you got to meet her granddaughter, but still upset that she wasn't home; you were looking forward to a happy pie-filled reunion, but it looks like it's going to have to wait another week.
You and Pinkie both follow the dirt road back towards town without a word for a time. The chirping of birds and insects' buzzing are the only sounds to accompany Pinkie's joyful humming for a while, until Pinkie breaks the silence as you reach the town again.
"So Anon, what are you going to Canterlot for? You said you were friends with the princesses and you're going to meet Twilight soon."
You contemplate how to answer her question as a light breeze flows through your illusionary mane, eventually deciding to simply state, "I'm going to teach her how to control her magic."
Pinkie looks confused. "What do you mean? You know how to use magic?"
"Yeah, I sure do. You're going to see one of my best spells when we get to Canterlot." You add with a smile, "It'll be a surprise."
She lets out a dramatic gasp. "I can't wait! I've never seen an earth pony use magic before! I didn't even know we could use magic! Can you teach me magic too, Anon?"
Your smile grows wider. "Maybe, maybe not. You're more than welcome to come to my lectures with Princess Twilight, if you want."
"Lectures?" She asks, seemingly losing interest.
"Yeah, lectures. Hours and hours of lectures. Listening to me talk about magic theory, casting stances, the astral plane, so on and so forth." You let out a hearty laugh. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"
"Yeah, fun..." She doesn't seem anywhere near as enthusiastic as she was at first, and you knew she wouldn't be. She probably thought it would be more like a party.
"Well, it's fine if you don't want to." She shuffles uncomfortably, as if she doesn't want to disappoint you by not showing up. "Well, let's talk about something else. Tell me about your friend, Princess Twilight."
She perks right back up. "Okay! What do you want to know?" You figured she might enjoy that idea. Might as well keep her talking for a while; it's an hour long ride to Canterlot and you'll be at the train station soon.
"Hmm, I don't know, whatever you want to tell me, I suppose. I'd like to know more about her before I start teaching her."
Pinkie tells you all sorts of things about your soon-to-be student. From what you can gather, Twilight is a very gifted magic user, having been under the tutelage of Princess Celestia since she was very young. She passed her entrance exam to a gifted unicorn's school of magic with flying colors, which attracted the attention of the Princess herself.
By the time Pinkie reached this part in her stories, you've boarded your train and are almost to Canterlot, riding in a cabin identical to the one you were in previously, although you sense that these have an additional security measure that senses strange magic in the cabins.
It seems like they're supposed to be hidden, because you don't actually see them. You can feel their magical resonance coming from somewhere in the cabin. You don't have anything to worry about though, because you have no intention of setting one off.
You've been quiet for most of the ride, attentively listening to everything your new friend tells you. However, something she says about Twilight's test piques your interest.
"Her test was to hatch a dragon's egg that had been in the castle for a long time." When she mentions a dragon's egg, you sit straight up in your seat and listen closely as she continues. "And she couldn't do it at first, but she saw a huge rainbow outside the window, and it startled her so much that she lost control of her magic." She does a very poor, but comical impression of a filly unicorn using magic by flailing her forelegs around and making squeaky sound effects.
You left a dragon's egg at the castle for Celestia and Luna to watch over several years ago. Surely it couldn't be the same one?
Pinkie is caught up in her explosion sound effects, so you have to wave a hoof in her face to get her attention.
"Pinkie, I hate to interrupt, but-"
She cuts you off. "Wait a second, Anon, this is the best part." She jumps out of her seat and spins a few times in mid-air, colorful confetti exploding from some unknown container before landing perfectly on all four legs. You're getting the feeling that she practiced that.
"That was impressive," you admit, "but can I ask you something?"
She sits back down in her seat, giving you a big smile. "Thanks, Anon! And of course you can ask me something, you silly-billy!"
You brush some confetti off of your seat. "Hatching dragon's eggs," you ask, "is that a normal entry exam to the school she was entering?"
"Hmmm," she ponders, a hoof under her chin. "I'm not sure. Twilight would know, though." She enthusiastically adds, "You can ask her when we get there! I'm sure Spike will be with her, too. He's the dragon she hatched."
So, he lives with her? Maybe he sees her as a sort of mother figure since she's the one that hatched him.
You don't want to press the subject too hard, though you can't help but ask one final question as your train slows to a stop at the castle station.
"So, about this dragon. What color are his scales? They aren't red and black, are they?"
To your relief, she shakes her head. "Nope, they're green and purple." A curious look comes across her face. "Why did you want to know that, Anon?" She inquires. "That's a weird question."
The train comes to a complete stop, its whistle blowing loudly.
Saved by the train, you suppose.Celestia would have certainly told you if it had hatched, anyway. You had the most right to know, after all.
"I was just curious, that's all." You stand and move to the cabin door, sliding it open. "We should probably get off the train before it leaves again, though.
Thankfully, she doesn't push you too hard. "Okey-dokey. I wouldn't mind talking some more, though!" She looks right at you with big, blue eyes. "You sure are a good listener, Anon."
You both exit the train, stepping onto the marble platform that leads directly into the castle. There are extravagantly carved stone statues of the two Alicorn sisters near the big gates that lead into the palace courtyard, where Discord was supposed to be sleeping in a stone tomb.
Rich ponies of all three races walk and mingle amongst each other. A few Griffons also dot the many small groups of diplomats and nobles, all of them with their chests out and their heads held high in attempts to make themselves look the most important and distinguished compared to their equally snobby company.
Guardsponies in shining armor standing watch scan each group with hawk-like eyes, intending to keep threats of any kind away from the capital and look as intimidating as possible. One of them, a white unicorn, has been staring at both you and Pinkie since you got off of your train, but you pay him no mind as you turn back to Pinkie.
"Heh, thanks, Pinkie." You add jokingly, "You're a good talker."
It flies right over her head. "Wow, you really think so? Nopony's ever told me that before!" Her talking is slowly gaining speed. "Ponies say that I talk too much, but they never say that I'm good at it!' Her words are becoming harder to understand as they begin to run together.
Oh boy, here it comes. You've been waiting for this. She takes a deep breath...
"Onetimethisstalliontoldme," she spurts out, then takes on a slower, deeper voice as she imitates a stallion, "Pinkie, you're really nice, but you talk too much. And I said, Well, Itrytomakeeveryponyhappy! Afterall,that'swhatPinkiePieisgoodat, andthere'sonlyonePinkiePie!"
She goes on for a few seconds, but when you reach the gate she notices you're not paying attention anymore. "Anon, is something wrong?" she asks, noticing the stern look on your face.
You raise a hoof towards the white guardspony, whose making a beeline straight to you and Pinkie. All of the nobles have enough sense to get out of his way, save for one he almost knocks over. He stands back up rather quickly, obviously intending to give him the talking-to of his life, but he wisely holds his tongue when he saw who knocked him down.
It isn't long before he reaches the two of you. His polished golden armor shines brightly in the sunlight as he approaches you with a stern look. Pinkie approaches and begins to greet him, until she notices his angry appearance. Her smile fades and she immediately stops talking.
He looks at you like you're some kind of dog; probably because you've stared back at him without blinking since he approached you. He speaks in a deep, commanding voice that befits a high-ranking soldier. "You," he spits out, "We've got magical sensors in place in every single cabin in that train you were on."
You raise an eyebrow in response, so he adds: "We were alerted the moment the train stopped, so don't play dumb with me."
Could you have set one off accidentally? You consider for a moment before quickly disregarding the notion. No, there's no way; he must be mistaken.
"I'm sorry," you reply in a calm manner. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. The only magical item I have on me is my backpack, and its enchantment is to simply increase its carrying capacity."
His face twists into an even uglier, angrier look. "Take it off, now. Lay it flat on the ground and back away slowly." You don't care for his tone very much, but there's no reason to cause any more of a fuss just yet, so you do as he says, sliding your worn out backpack off of your back and onto the marble, then backing up a few feet so he can dig through your belongings.
You take note of two guards that have moved to your left about thirty feet away, three to your right, and one that flew over your head to take position behind you and Pinkie. You honestly can't imagine why they're moving into flanking positions; you've done absolutely nothing wrong. You're hoping that the guard rummaging through your things will come across the letter from the princess and let you both go with an apology.
At this point you would very much like an apology, because the guard is tossing things out of your pack like they're pieces of garbage, some of them being worth more than what he probably gets paid in a few years. You grit your teeth and bear it for a while, until he finally comes across the letter from the princess.
He recognizes the wax seal on the envelope immediately and pulls out the letter as he discards the envelope. He takes a moment to read the letter, but drops it as well after a few seconds.
Both the letter and the envelope float away slowly on the wind, just like your hopes of this guard being able to read and comprehend that you're an honored guest here, not some magic-throwing psychopath. Not long after, he thankfully decides that he's done throwing your things around. He stands straight up and approaches you with the same angry face he had on before.
It's a good thing, too. He would have been digging out things for hours in that backpack.
"What are you planning on doing here in Canterlot, Mr. Anonymous?" He gestures towards Pinkie with a hoof. "Miss Pinkamena Pie was expected, but you were not. Princess Twilight informed us of her and her friends' arrival, not of a new teacher." His every word drips with venom, making it obvious that he has no intention of letting you through without some sort of further confrontation.
"So then, Pinkie can go on ahead? She's here to see her friend, after all." The guard looks surprised; he obviously wasn't expecting that response. He eyes Pinkie but keeps his thoughts to himself, thinking better than to harass one of Princess Twilight's honored guest.
Pinkie wasn't expecting it either. She turns to you with a shocked expression and exclaims in a worried tone, "Anon, I can't leave you here alone with this meanie! What if he hurts you?"
The guard ignores her and gestures to another guard to walk her through the gates. You give her a reassuring smile to help her relax.
"Don't worry Pinkie, he won't hurt me. I just have to talk to him for a bit, so I'll see you inside, okay?"
Your promise seems to help her calm down a bit, so the guard ordered to help her inside walks alongside her to the gate. "Alrighty, I guess I'll wait for you with Twilight... just be careful, okay?"
The guard pulls a rope with his teeth, opening the golden gates to the garden. Pinkie turns around to have one more look at you and the guard, so you give her a wave and a smile. She returns the wave but not the smile as the gates close, finally blocking her view of you.
The guard speaks again, his menacing tone returning. "Now, answer the question. What are you doing here?"
You sigh with irritation. "Like the letter said, I'm here to instruct the new princess how to properly use her magic. I'm a guest of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, so it's doubtful that Twilight was even made aware of me." As an afterthought, you add, "I'd hate to see you get in trouble for stalling me."
You were hoping that would be enough to convince him to let you through, but all you get is another dirty look. "You're not getting through to tell her, so I don't see how I'll be in any sort of trouble," he says, his voice becoming deathly serious. "This is your last chance; tell me why you're here and why I shouldn't beat you to a pulp."
Now he's threatening you? His tone alone was enough to irritate you, but threats you won't take in stride for very long.
"Well, as you saw, my summons was from Princess Celestia, not Princess Twilight. If you would just go talk to her, this will all be straightened out very quickly, I promise."
He looks at you like you're stupid. "Why in Equestria would I bother the Princess for YOUR sake?" He steps toward you until he's so close, you can smell the apples he had for lunch. "I can handle you myself. I'm the captain of the guard, so that means it's myjob to make sure lying scum like you don't enter my palace, and I'll break a few bones if I have to. Are we clear?"
You're not one to be intimidated easily, and it's obvious that's exactly what he's trying to do. But before you do anything rash, you decide on a quieter course of action.
You close your eyes and concentrate, ignoring the stink of the stallion's sour apple-breath. Your scar burn slightly as you cast a quick telepathy spell, which only takes a moment to reach your desired recipient. You open your eyes again and smile at the guard-captain, because the conversation you just had made you very happy.
A crowd of nobles has begun forming around you and the seven guards, their curiosity getting the better of them. After all, who in their right mind would cause trouble for the captain of the royal guard?
"Yes, I understand perfectly," you reply in a cool tone. You stand to your full height to stare into his eyes, lowering your voice so that only he can hear your words. "However, you've fucked with the wrong stallion. I'm giving you one more chance to let me pass, and I suggest you take it, else I'm gonna embarrass you in front of everyone here."
