Artemis Foal: The Equestria Incident

by Aperturewheatley

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 910

The world's most important magical rune has been broken, and people and fairies alike are transported to a strange world full of colorful ponies. Including Artemis. And Holly. And Butler.

The world's most important magical rune has been broken, and people and fairies alike are transported to a strange world full of colorful ponies. Including Artemis. And Holly. And Butler. And many more. Did I mention that they become ponies too? Now the entire ponified LEP and warlock team need to get back to earth…but of course, they'll need the help of the resident juvenile genius, Artemis Fowl.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-07 20:15:45 UTC

CHAPTER ONE: A CONFUSING SITUATION

“Could someone please tell me what the hell is happening?”

These words flew from the mouth of a troubled Butler, who was speaking to no one in particular. Normally, words carrying this level of stress wouldn’t be caught dead leaving the manservant’s mouth. He was, after all, a hardened combat expert who boasted a black belt in virtually every style of martial art in the world, and had enough skill in battle strategy to out¬-think most generals in any military. However, these skills seemed to go to naught in his current situation. It was not every day that he was hurled at collision speed into a world filled with colorful equine beings with wings and horns.

He didn’t remember when, but at some point, he had woken up here. It had taken a considerable effort to do this, as his head felt like it had exploded and then reassembled itself. Even after this, he had found that it was impossible to move. All Butler could do was lie limp in the grass as he reflected on what he remembered before blacking out. Which wasn’t much.  Just a green flash, followed by splitting pain, and then blackness. He had the vague idea that he had been doing something important with…Holly? Or maybe Foaly. It was too unfocused.

And then he saw the ponies.

The manservant had seen some strange things in his escapades with his Principal, Artemis Fowl, but they had been on Earth. At first, he had thought that this was some sort of trauma-induced dream, but after lying almost completely paralyzed in the grass for an hour, it became more and more clear that the equine creatures, whatever they were, were real. And they noticed him. He was getting quite a few stares from the creatures, and one or two even trotted over. If looks could kill, they would be roasted. At least they went away.

A thought emerged from the murky soup that was his brain.

If the fairies are behind this, there will be many necks to be wrung when we get back from…wherever this place is.

Another thought.

Artemis. Where the hell is Artemis?

Butler staggered to his feet, or at least tried to. As he collapsed back to the ground, his limbs screaming from the strain, he took note of something. His feet seemed to be missing, replaced by…were those hooves?

Dear God almighty, thought the giant manservant. I’m one of them.

And one of them he was. Although he still possessed his intimidating mountainous frame, his body now was closer in shape and color to that of a horse. His blond mane was shaven in a military cut, and his rippling foreleg and hind leg muscles could have scared off a manticore. He probably could have killed it, actually. He had done it before with a troll. Close enough.

His tail was medium length, blond and well-groomed. Most puzzling to him, however, was a small, silver shield symbol that rested gracefully on his flank. So, now I have an ass tattoo? He would have snickered inwardly, if the Butler clan didn’t pride themselves on their dead seriousness.

Enough games, thought Butler, finally managing to stand. He didn’t move, however. These pony limbs would take some getting used to.

This was where his psychological training came into play. No matter the situation, no matter how insane, ridiculous or outlandish, he had to find and protect Artemis. He narrowed his eyes.

“Where would Artemis be in this place?” He mumbled. “I’ll have to do a lot of looking around.”

For some reason, it was only now that the weirdness and gravity of the situation hit him. He was a horse. In what seemed to be a parallel universe where flying ponies and unicorns seemed to be the dominant species. He had no idea where Artemis was. And he had no idea how to get back home.

And yet he pushed on.

Setting off at a shaky trot, he made his way across the field, looking for Artemis.

Intro

Captain Holly Short woke with her head on fire.

Her vision was blurred, her hearing fogged. She couldn’t see more than two feet in front of her. Everything beyond was a gray blur. She somehow managed to gather enough strength to attempt to sit up, but found that she couldn’t. Her limbs felt numb. They seemed misshapen, as though they belonged to someone-or something-else.

She thought back to what she last remembered. That, too, was a mess. It was just vague ideas, like looming shadows, that came to mind. Like a dream.

She remembered a huge explosion. It was dark green. Dark green was the color of…some unique type of magic. Holly couldn’t remember which. Her head was pounding even more now, restricting all but the most basic shreds of thought.

Holly couldn’t see where she was. She had the vague sensation that she was lying in grass. Her vision was pulsating now, swirling, warping. She realized that she was in horrible pain, but she couldn’t scream. She tried, but she barely managed to open her mouth. A small trickle of that dark-green magic trickled from her mouth.

I’m overcharged with magic, she thought. Magic that isn’t mine.

She took one last look at her body before everything went black.

That isn’t an elf, was her last thought.

A small, unconscious, gray earth pony named Captain Holly Short lay in the grass.