a tale of two couriers

by Vaultdweller101

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6
Length: 2735

the courier and Ulysses are in for a ride of they're lives

after the courier has faced the horrors of the divide the sierra madre and even the big empty but is he ready for this?
while the courier is fighting Ulysses the transportalponder is accidentally activated but it doesnt take him where it should.
Authors note: this is my first story and some characters are very OOC you have been warned

Published 2013-12-07 21:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-02 16:12:35 UTC

prologue (remastered)

authors note: okay so i realize that the spelling is horrible but at least read till the end of chapter 1.

The Courier opened the door to see Ulysses with his back turned, holding onto a laser pistol after losing everything else in the Divide. Ulysses looked especially infuriated without Red Glare at hand. The Courier silently reached into his dusters upper pocket when Ulysses turned around to the Courier and shot the gun right out of his hand.

"So you thought you could take me by surprise Courier?" breathed Ulysses through his mask.
The Courier had only one option left, his industrial hand, he hated using it because the noise attracted muties like Fiends to drugs. With a sigh the Courier pulled up his right sleeve and flipped a little switch on the side of the gauntlet as it buzzed to life he charged at his once fellow courier.

"I’ll give it too you ... you aren’t half bad without a gun," Ulysses admitted, "If I know my guns, and trust me I do, you only have one shot left in that revolver and I’ll bet 500 caps it can't get through ranger armour.” Before the Courier could retort, Ulysses shot his industrial hand, rendering it useless.
As a fist fight to the death ensued out of the couriers duster fell a small orange pistol.
"Oh crap I forgot all about my transportalponder!" thought the Courier.

He caught it in a quick lunge mere seconds Ulysses form landed on top of him. The Courier’s hand slipped pulling the trigger. As he was going through the normal blue vortex which always seemed to relax him for some reason as he thought to himself, "What if Ulysses tagged along for the ride!?”
His concern was justified, Big Mountain tech was the most advanced on the planet after all, but where they landed was not Big Mountain or the Sink, Hell it didn't even show up on the Pip-boy map. Ulysses was rendered unconscious, a common happening when teleporting for the first few times. Exploiting the moment of weakness, he took the opportunity to take some stimpacks and energy packs off of him. After feeling the prick of the stimpack needle puncture his skin, he felt considerably energized. In an odd way, he could practically feel his previous bruises and cuts heal. With his renewed vigor, he picked up is unconscious “friend” and head out, unsure of what the future would bring the two of them.

He now had two shots for his red glare, a flag, a crap-ton of microfusion cells and even a microfusion breeder cell which meant one energy weapon would not need reloading. After what felt like hours of walking with Ulysses strung over his back, the knocked out man finally began to wake up.
“Where the hell are we?” Ulysses asked, his confusion still showing through the breathing apparatus he wore.
“Beats me,” the Courier replied, “Usually it shows up on my pip-boy … but seeing as not a single bomb hit this place it would be safe to assume we’re in Zion.”
“Zion?” questioned Ulysses, now trying to focus on the Courier while clutching his head.
“You have to be the one guy in the Mojave not to have heard of Zion Park…” the Courier remarked with considerable annoyance of having to play twenty questions with Ulysses, “The park is one of the few places on the continent that wasn’t hit by the bombs.”
They started to walk again this time north west.

I was fiddling with the transportalponder to see if I could at least get it too power up again. Ulysses stopped where he stood and grabbed my old duster. It was tattered and full of bloody bullet holes and sand, but I loved the thing anways. Regardless, when I looked up from my tinkering to see quite possibly the oddest thing that I had ever seen in my life. Our eyes met, trying to find reassurance that we did not just look at a medieval town populated by rainbow coloured horses with as castle in the distance.

I took off my helmet too make sure that I wasn’t seeing things and sure enough, I wasn’t having a wild hallucination. The two of us continued on towards the town while I checked my pip-boy again to see it could find a map. It unfortunately responded with nothing, leaving too options. The first being that we were outside the continental United States, or second, it was having serious issues in the geography settings. The two of us got some terrified stares from the miniature horse things as we approached. One of them ran away when I tried to get close to it. I pulled out my NCR radio hoping I could get a signal and call for a vertibird, they owe me as much after saving their damned president. I only got static in return.
“Damn, well there goes our last hope of getting out of this one easy.” the courier said.
“I miss the days when I could kill someone without getting stuck across the planet,” said Ulysses, “I suppose we’ll have to kill each other back when we get back to the Mojave…”

“Motherfucker!” I exclaimed.
“What, what is it?!?”Ulysses asked.
“I left ED-E behind, ah man he’s probably freaking out right now!” I said.
“What one of those old enclave eyebots?” questioned Ulysses.
“Yeah we’ve been traveling together for a long, long time. When I found him he was completely broken.” I replied.
After more chatter between us we arrived at a garden in front of a castle only to be greeted by more horrified stares and slack jaws. So as we went through the garden we ate what food we saw. Couldn’t blame us, those cheapskate NCR farmers never sell anything fresh on the market. We were stopped by guards on the way into the castle, though they froze up immediately when they saw the arrange of weapons Ulysses and I were holding onto. To be honest, the amount of firepower I had would put a Brotherhood Paladin to shame. Eh, whoever needed modesty anyways? The two of us walked right in the front doors which isn’t generally my sty- oh right the story sorry.
Anyways as we went through more of the horse things froze up and started backing away. Hadn’t had a stroll that peaceful since that one time I got slipped Jet in an Atomic Cocktail. We were kinda in awe at how big the place was, well that and how it was maintained by multicoloured horses. Whoever built it had skill, though the more I looked around I began to come to the conclusion that the palace was built by the horse things. Or were they ponies, they were the smaller ones right? NCR had some of them up north,

though how we got stuck so far up north is beyond me.
Then a slightly bigger dark pony, (or would it be a horse at that size?) with wings and a horn approached. With a voice so loud it made me stumble backwards a step and a half, it, or she, yelled, “Stop thy trespassing immediately and identify yourselves!”
I probably should have mentioned that I had taken in quite the bit of moonshine and vodka previously, so maybe I was hallucinating a talking equine. Then again, I was pretty sure Ulysses was there two, and he looked just as surprised as I was. Regardless of how real it was, I was still incredibly drunk and replied.
“A fukin horse with wings?” and I almost immediately regretted saying that.

[authors note: all of the editing was done by Zealous Shift check his stuff out:http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Zealous+Shift so thanks to him and to you for reading don't forget to leave a comment and like]

chapter 1 "In the begining"

As a midnight blue glow enveloped me and Ulysses my gigar counter went nuts. It sounded like a insane clock on jet. It took me a moment to get the hint, I started freaking out then once it slowly started to dissipate I looked at my rad count … 733
“Holy shit it’s never gone that high!” I looked like a crazy person freaking out rifling around my coat for some rad-away. I still had two packs left. I quickly took the yellowish packs and injected them into myself, noticing the radiation draining from the gigar counter dramatically on my Pipboy.
“Great,” I sighed, “still at five hundred.” I could taste the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. Aside from the general queasiness from radiation poisoning, my head was spinning from just how a horse could generate so much radiation without killing itself.
“Well?” the dark blue equine asked, apparently oblivious to the fact it nearly killed us with radiation.
Ulysses remained silent and simply stared at the horse, quite unnervingly too.
“Identify yourselves!” demanded the dark blue equine as we stood there in silence. “Who are you and who are you working for?”
“Names are irr-“
“Hi you can call me the Courier,” I said cutting off Ulysses mid-sentence.
“I am Princess Luna,” the horse, now dubbed Luna, replied.
I took off my helmet to reveal my brown and blue eyes to get a better look at the “Princess” myself. It was then that I noticed the somewhat intense staring match between her and Ulysses.
“He’s Ulysses, he doesn’t talk that much…”
We all stood there silently for a while me well I was contemplating how to get back home, or how we got to the land of insanity in the first place. I wasn’t sure of what Ulysses was thinking about and to be honest I’m kind of glad that I didn’t. My stomach was rumbling lowly as I attempted in vain to dust of my old, lucky duster. By that point however, it was probably made more out of dust than anything though.
“Perhaps it would be best if you joined us in the dining hall,” Luna finally said, “It would be wise for you to be introduced to my sister…”
I looked from Ulysses and then back to the Princess before replying, “So after all this, we’re just going to go eat food? No traps, killing or package delivering?”
My questions were left unanswered as Luna strut down the hall, expecting the two of us to follow.
***
I walked slightly ahead and threw the doors open, only to be greeted by spears at my throat. I instinctively reached for my laser RCW and pointed it at the nearest guard. It only occurred seconds afterwards that I had done it subconsciously. I quickly holstered the weapon, as did the guards when they saw Luna behind me.
When I sat down at the dining table and took a look at my plate, I saw just dead grass and an apple. I pushed it slightly away and made use of my pip-boys storage function. [The storage function works by storing real world objects as computer data.] I went to the AID folder and went under the food subsection and pulled out a Brahmin steak and some fixer to sober myself up. As the items appeared in front of me most of the other multicoloured horses had their mouths agape. Though that easily could have been from the fact they had never seen a human before either, it was hard to tell.
The white, rainbow maned, unicorn pegasus thing cleared her throat before she began to speak “So … Courier was it?” she asked hesitantly. I simply nodded in response.
“Courier is more of a job then a name is it not?” She asked. I casually stood up and walked over to her I was only slightly taller than her. “Isn’t it the polite thing to offer your name instead of questioning that of the other?” I asked trying to keep a shred of patience in the land of talking horses.
Ulysses, who had yes to sit, stood a few feet behind me. Whether or not he was going to act as chaperone to bring me back to my seat was irrelevant. I just stood there and had a stare off with the white horse.
“My name is Celestia,” she began, “Princess of Equestria and elder sister of Princess Luna.”
After a few brief seconds of civility, I replied, “Only common courtesy to return the favor. My proper name is … Liam.” Ulysses simply stood in the background, continuing to watch the little event unfold. Though I imagine he was quite intrigued by everything going on.
“Now,” I said slowly, “there are very few people who know my name, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t address me by it unless I say so. The last person who called me by my proper name was taken by the Legion.”
With a very serious tone in my voice that even I didn’t notice at the time, I continued, “I grew up in a place called Vault 21. Like the other Vaults, it was meant as a safe haven for the Great War turned nuclear. From there our race, humanity, would survive. When House took control of the surrounding city, we were free to leave and take jobs around the wasteland as we saw fit. From then on, I was Courier Six.”
In the background, I could hear the raspy tone of Ulysses whisper something about the couriers, though I couldn’t really understand him with my focus on Celestia.
“Well I can imagine that you are much more relaxed now that you are here in in the protected lands of Equestria” Luna said, putting emphasis on “protected”.
I walked back to my seat and sat down. Seeing as how I’d be quite the while before I could actually go back home, I decided to try and keep a conversation going.
“So now that I’ve told you a bit about myself, why don’t you tell me about this ‘Equestria’?”
Celestia’s demeanour visibly brightened up when she noticed my curiosity and answered, “Of course, what would you like to know?”
“Just a couple things…” I began while sitting in a position to address both her and Luna, “For starters, is there a place that I can maintain my weapons? Secondly, is there I scientist that I can talk with to discuss traveling back to my home? Thirdly, and kind of important at the moment, why does your horn flash thing generate enough radiation to nearly ghoulify me?”
At this point the rest of the guests had left the only people, or ponies as I had found out, left were me Ulysses the guards and the princesses.
“Your weapons will be looked after in the Royal Vaults,” Luna replied.
“As for scientists, I shall arrange for a team of them to be flown in tomorrow to discuss this situation,” Celestia added, “Though I’m not sure what you meant by your third question.
“That’s fair, I suppose,” I said as I lit a cigarette.
We talked for a while longer, Ulysses occasionally muttering in his seat. Celestia and Luna animatedly spoke of their Kingdom, Equestria. No violence, mutation or radiation. Well there was plenty radiation generated from the “magic” they claimed to use, but I had seen similar tricks performed at the Big Empty. Aside from “magic” however, there was no background radiation to be seen. After what seemed like an hour of idle chatter and eating, the Princesses rose from their seats.
“Let us show you to your bed chambers, it is getting quite late after all,” Celestia announced.
As I followed Luna and her guards to our new rooms, I seriously began to reflect on what the Princesses had told us about Equestria. Could it actually be true? A world without violence of bloodshed? A nation rampant with harmony and friendship? A place with peace amongst men, err, stallions? Could we have actually made it there?
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT KLEIN THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU…
“We’re here,” one of the “Lunar” Guards announced. I didn’t really notice what which door he referred to, as I was deep in thought, so I just walked into the one nearest to me and leapt onto the premade med. I let my thoughts wander and hoped to what God was out there that I was going to wake up in a more reasonable world the following day