Equestria; a journey with equines

Chapter 5

Sarcasm is amazing

The trip to Ponyville was pretty uneventful. I just couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched...

We arrive in Ponyville to find it deserted. It was unnerving, like they knew I was coming and were hiding from me. But that's just me being paranoid, the most probable reason nopony is around is because night has fallen. I never realised it had gotten so late, maybe the trip from the cottage took longer than anticipated.

I continue to follow Celestia's lead through the town, I cringe as we pass Sugarcube Corner, I don't want Pinkie to start the 'oh I've never seen you before and I know everypony in town so that means you must be new and I should throw you a party' routine just yet. I never been the most sociable person, and a party consisting of many prejudiced ponies does not seem like a good idea.

Celestia enters the town hall, we all follow.

Inside the building are many potted plants and portraits of boring looking ponies lining the plain white walls. A single chandelier hangs from the ceiling in the centre of the large room. A carpet leads the way to a desk along the back wall.

We walk towards the desk, I assume this is the the receptionists desk but there is nopony there. Saying pony instead of body or one is really distracting me from my train of thought.

As we arrive at the desk, a tired mare walks out of a side door next to the desk. It's the mayor.

The mayor sees Celestia and just stands there gobsmacked for some time before regaining her composure.

"Princess! What brings you here at this hour?"

"I would like to speak to you about a new member of the community." Celestia gestures towards the side door. "Shall we?"

"Yes, certainly princess." The mayor must be exceptionally tired to not even notice my presence, or that of Twilight and Fluttershy.

The princess motions for us to stay here as she enters what I assume to be the mayor's office.

My phone rings. The intro of Fluttershy's Lament echoes off the walls of this large and empty room. This is most peculiar, I thought I didn't have any signal.

I reach for my Blackberry from my pocket. I receive confused stares from three ponies, Celestia had poked her head 'round the door to see what the noise was. Ignoring them, I proceed to answer.

"Hello?" Now the mayor has come to see what everypony is looking at.

"OhmygoshIcan'tbelieveitworked." What?

"Um, Helloo?" I just hope they're not trying to sell me something.

"Are... Are you a human?" Oh god why?

"Yes, indeed I am."

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh."

"Who is this?"

"Um... That's kinda hard to explain..."

"Why, are you some sort of multicoloured equine creature that talks?" Sarcasm is amazing.

"How did you know?" I know who it is.

"Lyra, is that you? How the hell did you get my number!?"

"..."

"..."

"..." Awkward silence.

"Hello?"

"How do you know you I am?" She sounds really scared.

"Now that's not the first time I've heard that, Twilight said the same thing."

"Who are you?"

"Discord" Sarcasm is amazing.

"..."

"Ms Heartstings, I assure you that I am just messing around. But I heard you liked humans, so I took the liberty of providing you with a once in a lifetime opportunity. To meet a human. Do you accept this opportunity?"

"squee" I love that sound so much.

"I take that as a yes, so without further ado, I present to you this opportunity! The human in question is in Ponyville right now, located in the administrative building in the centre of town. Hurry along now, he might leave soon."

Silence.

I hang up and return the phone to my pocket.

"What did you do?" Twilight, nothing gets past her.

"I have no idea, but I think this building is about to get raided."

"WHAT!?" Says everypony in the room, except the mayor who has already fainted.

BOOM!

The door to the town hall flies off its hinges and hits the floor. A deranged looking unicorn is standing in the doorway, behind her is a tired earth pony. Lyra and Bonbon. Oh, and Pinkie too.

What have I done?