Hello, Nicholas. Nick immediately whipped around right in the middle of a crowd of people on the sidewalk, receiving a few dirty glares and a curse from a 9 year old. What’s the world coming to? He looked from left to right, trying to determine the origin of the voice, before turning back around and continuing on his route home. Oh come now, do you always ignore the voices in your head?
Again, he swiveled around, but retaliated with a snarky comment of his own. “Well, I don’t usually hold conversations with my own conscious,” He snapped. He noticed the confused stares he was getting, cleared his throat, and kept walking. He tried to ignore his “conscious”, but it had other plans.
I’m not your conscious. It said.
He continued to take no notice of the sassy remarks from the voice. It took him another 5 minutes of verbal torture before he arrived home. It was a large, redbrick apartment complex, spanning quite a large area. Ooh, classy.
Nicholas began the trek up the stairs to his apartment. Seriously, this is how long it takes you to walk up the stairs? Are you an obese human? No, there’s no way your obese, I saw some real whales on the way here. He reached the top and started towards his door halfway down the hall. Man, these are some really weird paintings. Is that a dog or a large intestine, you tell me. Finally, Nick was at his door. He reached into his pocket, frowned, and then shoved his hand into his other pocket.
“Forgot my key,” He sighed to himself. Now well that’s too bad. Nick continued to ignore the voice as he looked left to right down the hall. After he made sure no one was looking he waved his hand in front of the lock, earning a*click* from the brass security instrument. Oh my, was that what I think it was?
Nick opened and immediately shut the door. “Alright, who are you, and why the hell won’t you shut up!?” He hissed. A chuckle seemed to echo through his mind. You know what, you’re boring anyways, but, if what I saw was real, I’ll tell you. Meet me here at 11:45. An image flashed through his head of the forest about a little was away from where he was, accompanied by what looked like a forest clearing. There, I will answer all of your questions, but only on one condition. We’ll discuss the details later.
Then there was silence. Apparently the presence in his mind was gone. Nick sighed with relief and collapsed on his couch. He didn’t want to go to the forest to meet whatever that thing in his mind was, but he had a nagging feeling in the back of his head, like it was something he needed to do. He closed his eyes and started to think to himself. Okay let’s asses the current situation. I have just been invited to the forest at night by an unknown, possibly dangerous, entity. It seems to be very sassy and has an odd sense of humor. Maybe an idiot, everyone knows that painting is a snake with antlers. He already knows, or has a pretty good idea, of what I can do, so I probably can’t just skip out on it. It’s doubtful it can hurt me too, so…Guess I might as well go. And with that Nick’s eyes reopened, only for him to find out it was already 11:30.
“Guess I fell asleep,” He said to himself, running a hand through his dark, black hair. “But what I really want to know is why it wanted me to meet it there at such a precise time,”
Nick shrugged and sat up from the couch, making his way to and out the door, while thinking to himself; I have a bad feeling about this.
It took Nicholas about 20 minutes to reach the forest the entity had shown him. He took a deep breath and entered the sea of shadows and plants. The full moon in the sky cast eerie shadows all around him. He didn't really know exactly where he was going, or why he was actually going through with this, but it was as if that voice was telling him where to go without actually speaking and giving him a reason to do it without actually doing so, either way, he was on his way to the clearing and there was no turning back now. It was another few minutes or so before Nick arrived at the clearing.
He scanned the small area for any signs of life other than the forest foliage around him, but to no avail. He sighed. “So it really was all in my head then? Huh, looks like I’m finally losing my mind, after all these years of solitude.” He said to himself. He turned around, about to head out of the forest, when a voice called out to him from behind.
“Oh no, you haven’t lost your mind just yet, but don’t get on my bad side, or you might.” It said. Nick halted in his tracks and turned to face the clearing again. He, again, didn't see the source of the voice, until a few seconds later a bright flash illuminated the area, causing Nick to shield his eyes from the blinding light. When it dimmed down, Nicholas could see a silhouette in the darkness. He couldn't determine what it was exactly. “Who are you?” He shouted at the creature. It did not reply, but instead rose what seemed to be a large eagle claw. A small orb appeared, starting out as small as a marble then enlarging to the size of a basketball, until eventually it wafted up into the air, bouncing around a bit until stopping and planting itself floating above them. That was when it gradually gave off a bright glow. When the clearing was finally illuminated fully it showed Nick his “conscious”. He really wished it hadn't.
Okay, to be completely honest, the sight before him was one of the ugliest things he had ever seen. Its body was a conundrum of beasts. It looked like a blind person took the animal kingdom, shoved it into a blender, shredded it, and tried to put it back together, and the chimera in front of him was the result. It grinned at Nick and said. “Hello Nicholas, my name’s Discord, and I’m here to test you.” His bellowing voice suggested he was a male. Discord cackled at Nicholas, sending a chill up his spine.
Nick clenched his fist. “Look I don’t know who or what you are, but I don’t want anything to do with you. Is it so bad to just want to lead a normal life with none of this magic crap? And whatever your “test”, which sounds a little sexual, is, if you even try to lay a finger…Er…Paw or talon or whatever the hell you have, I’ll shove my foot so far up your ass you’ll have to crap sideways for a week!” He shouted at Discord. A blue aura began to form around him, growing stronger with each word he bellowed. As the aura grew larger, a frown began to creep across Discord’s face.
When Nick had finished his livid rant, it was as if he was practically surrounded by an ocean. The sapphire energy wafted around him.
“Enough!” Discord snarled at Nick. Nick smirked. “Not so cocky now, are we Discord?” He chortled at the chaotic spirit. Discord bared his teeth and raised his claw. A ball of green flames erupted to life in it, but instead of him throwing it at Nicholas he tossed it behind him into the bushes. Nick tilted his head.
“Uh, you have really terrible aim dude,” He said “Honestly, I don’t know if I should laugh or feel bad for you,”
Just then a growl escaped from the undergrowth Discord threw his emerald fire into, and a pack of wolves emerged from the shrubbery. Except there was something… different about them, here, let Nicholas explain.
“Are those wolves made of wood?” He asked quiet bewildered. Discord’s foul mood had been replaced by a more upbeat attitude, but, let’s faces it; his definition of fun isn't exactly roller coasters and carnivals, although carnivals can be really creepy, stupid clowns. Who isn't afraid of clowns? Child molesters, that’s who. Sorry, getting off track. Basically, Discord’s impression of fun is like a clown. They try to be fun, but their just absolutely terrible at it and most of the time, traumatize children and adults alike.
“Ah yes, these little fellows are called Timberwolves, their creatures from my world, made entirely out of wood! Most of the time they do the dirty work for me,” He said, his snout now bore a sneer, revealing his one out of place fang. “Easy to make and easy to control, the perfect foot soldier,”
Nick raised his hand and the nearest one burst into flames. It howled and began to frantically shake itself, attempting and failing to put out the flames. Sections of the flaming oaken hound flew off turned the rest of its comrades into a blazing inferno. Eventually the entire pack was a miniature sun, it was a miracle the forest did not follow suit with the Timberwolves.
Nick just stared, his jaw agape and eyes wide. He stood like that for a few seconds before he waved his hand again and a small red button appeared in his palm. He pressed it and a small but still audible sound came from it. “That was easy,” The device said. Nick then burst into a fit of laughter. First he pointed at the pile of smoldering charcoal that was once a “platoon” of wooden canines, then at Discord, barely managing to form a single audible pair of words. “Timber…*gasp*…Wolves...”
Discord snarled, obviously not amused. After another minute of guffawing, Nicholas straightened up, his expression suddenly very serious.
“Listen pal, I may not look like it, but it’s going to take a lot more than a couple of barking logs to beat me. So, I’ll give you a choice, either high-tail your ass out of here and back to the hell-hole you came from, or stay, and risk never walking again, you sack of horse meat,” He growled, back to his anger filled state.
Discord stared back at the human, his eyes as wide as a guy who tried to let out a small fart, but ended up crapping his pants. After a few seconds of silence, the tension so thick you could cut it with a spoon. Yeah, you heard me, a spoon. Then, the chimera burst into a laughing fit of his own. Nick wasn't surprised. He didn't really expect Discord to leave so easily.
“Oh, oh, you are a funny one aren't you? Really, I come all this way and you think I’m just going to leave that easy?” He chuckled. Nick smirked and got into a fighting stance.
“’Course not, I just wanted to rile you up a bit to make this fight a little more interesting.” He said with a chuckle of his own. Discord’s cocky smirk wavered momentarily before he chuckled and flicked his tail upwards slightly. Suddenly, the earth began to tremble slightly, and a tendril of dirt and stone shot upwards from the ground, followed by another two flanking it. As Discord’s tail waved in a hypnotic manner, the tendrils moved in sync with it. Then, Discord’s tail darted forward, and the tentacles abruptly followed, soaring through the air towards Nick. He didn’t budge an inch. As the masses of earth collided with Nick’s azure aura, they exploded. Dirt and rock spread across the clearing, bouncing off of Nick’s aura but coating the chimera across from him. A particularly large stone flew through the air and nailed Discord straight in the forehead.
A small bruise began to spread across the affected area. Discord snarled and lunged at Nick, but Nick raised his hand and the Chimera flew backwards and slammed into a tree. Nick then scrunched his hand into a fist and the tree’s roots uprooted themselves from the ground (pun not intended). They bound Discord against the trunk. In the blink of an eye, Nick was right in front of him. He used his finger to trace a symbol into the roots. It was a circle with a dot in the middle, like a crudely drawn eyeball, that gave off an eerie orange light. Discord struggled with his bonds but couldn’t do anything to break them.
“What…What the hell is this? What have you done to me!?” He roared. Nick backed away a few steps.
“Yeesh, relax man. It’s just a binding spell; you won’t be able to use any magic until it wears off. In the meantime, you can answer my questions,” He answered. Discord looked like Nicholas had just insulted his ancestors.
“A b-binding spell? That’s not possible; no binding spell can hold me! I am Discord, the god of chaos, and I demand you release me at once!” He bellowed. Nicholas waggled a finger at the enraged spirit.
“Ah ah ah, not until you answer my questions.” He chortled. “First, where do you come from?” He asked. Discord grumbled, accepting the defeat that had befallen him. He might as well just go along with the human’s antagonizing.
“I come from a land of magic and strange creatures the likes of which you have never seen,” He mumbled. Nick placed the palm of his hand on Discords head, despite his protests, and it glowed with a blue aura. Nick nodded. His eyes were closed so he didn’t notice as the seal he created began to dim ever so slowly. Discord, however, was aware that the impression began to lose its luminescence, and grinned with maleficent delight.
“Okay, next question,” Nicholas said. He placed a hand on his chest. “Of all the people in the world, why choose me to nag and challenge to a fight?”
“Isn’t it obvious? You are the only creature I have seen so far with any magical capabilities of your magnitude. Well, scratch that, the only human with magical capabilities. I did see that one squirrel, but he just kept using it to crack nuts,” Discord chuckled. Nick rolled his eyes at this comment.
“Alright, last question. Why did you come to earth in the first place?” Nick inquired. At this, Discord bellowed with laughter, a miniscule tear rolling down his cheek.
“Oh I am so glad you asked that. The answer is simple. Chaos. You humans, you argue and fight all the time, it is just so beautiful! I have never seen anywhere, any living thing generate as much disharmony as you simple minded oafs, all the bloodshed and torture, pain and greed. Equestria, the world I come from, is full of such peaceful creatures. So loving and caring, so forgiving and thoughtful, it’s sickening,” He grimaced. Nick tilted his head to the side slightly.
“How so?” He questioned. The seal that held Discord lost all light, turning to black. Nick noticed this and his mouth fell open. Discord gave a wicked smile, breaking through the roots, splintering wood everywhere.
“Why don’t you find out?” He reached up with his lion paw, which seemed to have grown in size tenfold, and pushed Nick backwards with great force. Yet instead of solid ground, Nick’s bottom didn’t collide with anything but air. Suddenly, everything around him disappeared, replaced by what seemed to be…Pink clouds? The whole thing smelled like fudge and sugar. Nick opened his mouth to let out a scream but all of the air left his lungs. Then, everything went black.
Nick groaned as he regained consciousness. His head pounded, feeling as if he had just fallen from thousands of feet, which wasn’t entirely untrue. He attempted to reach up and caress his hammering cranium, but found his hands bound to his sides. It was obviously magic keeping his hands constrained to his hips, and he could easily counter the spell. It was most likely meant for a being with no magic, so it wasn’t too hard to disengage it. He’d find out whom or what cast the spell in a moment after he cured his massive migraine. He placed a hand to his forehead and felt the pain ease out of his head. That was when he noticed the voices. One voice was to the right, the other on the opposite side of him.
“W-well, what should we do with it? I’ve never seen anything like this before,” Asked the voice on the right. Its tone suggested it was female, and extremely nervous.
“Calm down Private Pearl, it’s unconscious at the moment, and those binds are so strong not even the most talented unicorn could break through them,” The voice on the left replied, female as well.
Okay, one, did these guys not even notice me move my hands? Nicholas thought to himself. And two, did that one just say unicorn?
“Y-yeah, you’re right Captain Nightshade, its unconscious, right, nooooooooooaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!” The right voice, apparently called Pearl, replied, but immediately erupted in to screaming as Nicholas sat up with a groan. His headache returned as he tried and failed to process what was going on. When he opened his eyes, the sight before him was unexpected to say the least. There were two equines, each one exceptionally short, probably at least 4 to 5 feet tall. The one on the right had a pale, shimmering coat and a fluorescent pink mane that shimmered as well, seeming almost transparent. It seemed to be made of crystals, shimmering in the bright sun. It dawned what appeared to be a golden helmet with a matching breastplate, a horn sprouting from the helmet. The one on the left had a black coat and a read, spiky mane. It instead had wings sprouting from its back through the chest-plate.
They both had pictures on their flanks. The crystal one, most likely Pearl, had a shield with a shimmering pearl on it. The other one, Nightshade apparently, had a blade and a strange purple flower crossed over each other. Pearl was currently losing her sh*t, her hooves flailing in all directions, before she dived behind Nightshade, who was currently menacingly pointing a spear at Nick. There was no other of these things around, although it looked as if they were in a city, with extravagant marble buildings and golden roofs, paved roads, and a few cafes and shops dotting the place. Nick did see, however, the occasional pair of eyes or a head peak out behind a window. He got to his feet, towering over the two equines by a good few feet.
“Hey you big lug, can you understand me?” Nightshade growled from behind him; although he was too busy admiring the scenery to pay attention to her.
“I said, what the hell are you doing here you big lug?” Nightshade snarled once again. Nick finally heard her, but just waved his hand to shrug her off. She took it the wrong way though, and her spear flew through the air. Before Nick could react there was a lance pierced through his body, the head jutting through his left side.
Well, sh*t.
Nick turned to Nightshade and pulled the weapon out of his side with a grunt, letting it fall to the ground with a thud. He raised his hand and Nightshade collapsed, snoring like an elephant. Pearl, now revealed, squeaked, then up and fainted. Nick sighed and placed his hand against the wound, which was profusely spilling blood. Nick’s hand glowed in a pink light and felt relief as his wound closed, leaving behind only a large scar. He did the same to his back where the spear had entered.
He made his way over to the unconscious form of Pearl, being careful to step over Nightshade. He squatted down and placed the palm of his hand on Pearl’s head, and she awoke with a start. She looked slightly confused at first, but then noticed Nick, and looked as if she would faint again. She started to cry a little and threw her hooves in front of her face.
“Please don’t hurt me, I have kids!” She sobbed. Nick felt bad for her. I mean, sure these things stabbed him with a spear, but what would you do if it seemed as if you were about to get your face eaten off by something you had never seen before.
“Hey, its okay, I’m not going to hurt you,” Nick spoke in a tender voice, doing his best not to alarm her even more. It seemed to work, as her sobs became quieter and softer, eventually halting all together. He smiled.
“There, that’s better. Now, can you please tell me where I-” He began, but was interrupted as he was enveloped in a golden aura and thrown backwards into a building, crashing straight through a wall. There was screaming and several other equines galloped out of the cafe Nick had been flung into. The source of his aching body was another horse-like creature, although this one was much taller than the ones he had seen, with a pale creamy coat and a mane made up of all sorts of pastel colors which seemed to flow in a nonexistent breeze. Donning regal looking jewelry, it was much taller than any of the other of these things that Nicholas had seen, its horn long and pointed and large wings plastered to its side. As Nick regained his standing position, his spine popping in several locations, he saw that this new arrival was able to look him in the eye. When he finally stood straight again, the same aura glowed around his body, yanking him towards the taller one.
“What in Tartarus did you do to my little ponies?” She growled. Her face didn’t express that of anger, more of a scornful mother. It was still terrifying nonetheless though. Nick had no idea what was going on anymore, and gave up trying to wrap his head around what the hell was happening. Then, an imaginary light bulb flickered to life above his head.
“Uh, excuse me, tall horse, would this happen to be Equestria?” He asked politely. The lanky equine seemed startled at first, most likely thinking Nick was unable of speech, but nodded her head after understanding his question. He groaned again and face palmed, which seemed to put an expression of shock on the tall creature. “Peaceful creatures my ass, Discord you lying bastard.”
