As I stepped onto the platform of the Appleloosa train station, I was darn nervous. I was taking a train to Ponyville so I could help Applejack with the preparations for the reunion, but that wasn't why. Y'see I have a secret and I decided that I would talk to somepony about it, instead of hiding in my shell. But, as the moment drew closer, I started to get the jitters.
I stamped a hoof on the wood planking and stared into the desert, try'na get my mind off of it. Not that there was much more than a couple'a tumbleweeds and cacti to look at. I didn't really know why I was scared; Applejack and I were especially close, like two halves of an apple, as Granny Smith used to say.
I smiled as I remembered all our little adventures as kids;like that time Big Mac and I made ourselves Timber Wolf costumes and ambushed her in the orchard. It didn't go well. A black eye and a few bruises later, we managed to convince her it was us. She couldn't have been more than four or five? We were a few years older. She stopped bucking apples at Big Mac and yelled:
"You Idjits! Why the hay did ya do that?" she looked so serious; we couldn't help but fall about laughing.
I was drawn out of my daydream when a train horn sounded further along the track.
"Guess that's me!" I said to the empty platform as my ride came into view. I was feeling a little better after my little trip down memory lane. The train came to a stop with a squeal of pistons,and the grunts of the ponies up front.
"Mornin' fellas!" I said, doffing my hat in greeting. They nodded and grinned back "Mornin'." Nopony got off, so I entered the carriage, taking off my hat as I did. Most of the spaces were free, so I took a little alcove to myself,slouching in the middle of the seat and putting my hat on the table.
I looked around the carriage in a nosy fashion. Nothing special: a pony reading the newspaper, huffing to himself and a mare trying to keep two excitable foals in check as they jumped about the cabin. I smiled at that sight, it reminded of Cousin Applebloom and that little group she'd founded. From her letters, it sounded like Applejack was tearing her mane out keeping track of the trio.
The train whistled and began to move again. The foals renewed their excited squealing: "Mommy, Mommy! We're moving!" she smiled and said "Yes we are! Want to look out the window?" in an attempt to rein them in.
I chuckled lightly as they did,
"Kids.." I said, before staring myself.
I sat like that for a while, before drowsiness set in. I grabbed my hat, and drew it over my eyes, before relaxing,lulled by motion, I soon fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of laughter and playful murmurs. I found the source in a pair that had just entered: a stallion and mare. They were making moon eyes at each other as they stepped in. The mare tripped on her way past, but her mate caught her. She thanked him and he grinned.
"I think you just fell for me." he said, flirtatiously. In reply she punched him playfully, rolling her eyes, a smirk etched on her features.
They chose a row further down, shifting close together,lovebirds if I ever saw any. It made me grin,then I felt a little sad.
"Sure would be nice to have a relationship like that." I mumbled to myself, dwelling on the secret again.
I sighed resting a cheek on my hoof as I stared out the window,lost in thought. Soon the dunes of the desert gave way, albeit grudgingly to rolling green plains. Time passed quickly even as I agonised; my earlier happiness, slowly being eaten away by doubt.
The Ticket Pony wandered through the carriage, expertly keeping his balance.
"Next stop: Ponyville!" He said jovially, a rosy cheeked smile crossing his features.
One of the foals dropped a stuffed toy and he picked it up and passed it back, still grinning.
"All passengers must remain in their seats, while the train is in motion." he said in a mock stern tone.
The mother smiled. I managed a thin one,still gazing out of the window.
As we came to a stop, with a screech. I sighed:
"C'mon Braeburn. It's not that big of a deal. You're here with the people you love, you could bring it up anytime." Luckily nopony noticed (or pretended not to notice) my nervous muttering. I got up and made my way to the open doors.
"After you, Miss." I said with a hoof gesture at the mother, who was now corralling her excitable children out of the door with an experienced precision.
She flashed me a grateful smile and I returned the favour. I walked out behind them as the foals took off down the platform with excited squeals. She gave a paternal shake of her head and set off in pursuit, calling their names. Grinning, I looked around for Applejack.
She found me first. "Braeburn!" she called and I swerved in the direction of the noise.She bounded into an affectionate hug, which I returned gleefully. "Well,hey there Applejack!" I said, staring into the honest face of my cousin. She continued gripping me and I wheezed: "Could ya loosen up a bit? I can't breathe!"
"Sorry!" she said sheepishly, releasing me. I laughed at the flush of colour that came to her freckled cheeks. We started walking off of the platform. It was now evening time, so the sun was just beginning to set, a few defiant spots of orange staining the sky.
"How're the preparations coming along?" I asked as we passed through Ponyville's main square, the shops closing up for the night. It was all very quiet and pleasingly cool, compared to the extremes I was used to.
"We're managing." she said vaguely.That was Applejack speak for "We could use some help." I smirked as she continued.
"I'm glad you offered to lend a hoof when you did. Now we can be done well afore everypony else turns up."
I smiled "I'm always happy to help.Especially since I get to see my favourite cousins before all the hullabaloo of the reunion!"
She snorted "When did you become so sappy?" she said with an affectionate punch on my shoulder.
I laughed as we continued along the track,finally coming to the woody path that lead up to the ranch. I made a hasty decision to get it over with,just come out with it. "Say, Applejack." I began. She caught the edge in my tone and she turned
"Somethin' on your mind?"
I was about to continue, when a furry blur shot from the trees and slammed into me. I was knocked onto my back.My assailant barked happily and licked my face.
"Winona!" I said, rubbing her ears. "How're you doing?" She licked me again in answer and I sat up to stroke her.
"Who's a good girl?" I asked in a stupid voice, holding her face in my hooves, as she continued to fuss at me.
Applejack rolled her eyes. "If you two lovebirds are done..."
I laughed and got up,dusting myself off. Winona ran in a circle for a minute, before bounding off up the track. We followed at a leisurely pace. Applejack said "You wanted to say something?"
I replied with a shake of my head, still grinning. "Nah. It can wait." I sniffed the air.
"That's Granny's cooking if I ever smelt it. Race ya!" I said, before taking off.
As I ran, I justified my reluctance:
"Don't want it to hang over the meal. I have plenty of time. Anyway, it'd be selfish of me to bring it up before saying hello to everypony.Not to mention a little rude. I'll get settled back in, then I'll tell them.
Applejack had quite easily drawn level with me as I reasoned, she looked at me with a challenging grin.
"C'mon now cousin. You'll need to do better 'n that!" She said, leaving me in the dust. I dug deep and closed the gap,just as we headed for the archway at the end of the drive. We grinned breathlessly at each other, my hat having fallen to half shade my eyes. I winked as we crossed the line.
Both breathing hard, Applejack came over and put a hoof on my chest with a laugh. "You've still got it cous'! she said. "Neck and neck as always. Someday I'll catch you napping."
I smirked "You'll be waitin' a long time for that." We both made our way into the main house, chuckling together.
I had barely gotten in the door before Applebloom leapt at me, her trademark ribbon bouncing in her hair as she did. "Cousin Braeburn!" She shouted.
I caught her and twirled about a bit, before she clasped her hooves about my neck in a hug.
"Hey there Applebloom!" I said. "You've grown up so much." I said with a fake grunt. "I don't know If I can do that for much longer."She looked offended and hit me.
Applejack and I laughed, "So," I said turning my eye on Applebloom again.. "How's your little club doing?"
She came out with such an excitable rush of news, I could barely keep up. "We're doin'geverything! Skydiving,fishing,rowing..." She rattled off the list rapidly, then looked dejectedly away from me. "Still no cutiemark though."
I raised her chin with my free hoof. "Hey now." I said "It's not easy finding your special talent and the fact you have to work so hard to get it, means it's gotta be something amazing, doesn't it?"
Her eyes lit up and she gaped " Really? Ya think so?!" I set her down with a chuckle.
"I know so, little miss." ruffling her mane.
It was good to be back.
We moved into the dining room, my nose guiding me. Big Mac was salivating and looking forlornly at the kitchen door, which Granny had barred.
"Locked out, Big Mac?" I asked cheerfully as I skirted the table and chairs. "Eeyup." he said sadly, before grinning and coming over to me.
We chatted a little, before a crashing of pans sounded from the other side of the door. "Is that my Braeburn?!" Granny Smith yelled, as more clattering noises made their way to us .
"Eeyup!" Big Mac said quickly.
The locking bar came undone with a heavy thunk.Granny Smith strode out of the kitchen, armed with a hefty wooden spoon and wreathed in a cloud of steam. She gave a wrinkled smile on sight, coming over to give me a papery kiss on the cheek.
"Welcome back." she chimed, before making a noise and pinching my cheek, as she used to when I was small.
"It's good to see you. I would've come out earlier, if somepony hadn't tried to nab one of my tarts!" She said, glaring at Big Mac,who looked down guiltily, stamping his hoof.
"It's good to see you too Granny. You keeping well?" I didn't really need to ask:she still had that old energy about her.
"I've still got a spring in my step! More than enough to keep you young'uns in line." she said, with a threatening wave of her spoon and a playful glower.
We all laughed "Well, get yourselves sat down: I'm about to dish up."
It was a great meal. A whole lot of laughs and smiles, playful jokes. It reminded me why I loved the place so much. Winona sat with her head in my lap the entire time, with a pleading puppydog look. Seems she remembered how much of a pushover I am. I managed to sneak her something and she took it stealthily, my partner in crime. Sharp eyed as ever, Granny spotted and I blamed Applebloom, who gave an indignant "Hey!" Again, we laughed. It was so good being back.
Eventually, we all went up to bed. After wishing everypony a good night, I went up to the guest room. Like the rest of the ranch, it was practically laid out: chest of drawers,mirror, nightstand with a magic safety lamp, and an attached bathroom. I got into bed with a happy sigh. Life was good. I turned in bed, a question eating at my bliss:
"How do I tell them I'm gay?"