I walk out onto the deck of my apartment and stared out over the small town, covered in a thin blanket of crystal white snow. The icy wind began to bite my face and chill my mane. It's that time of year again. I've always loved the transition from fall to winter. It's full of many wonderful memories. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, allowing myself to temporarily forget about the present and all its distractions. The bright white snow and the gentle breeze bringing me back to a large building. There are many other ponies walking towards the building's large doors. The sound of my hooves clopping against the pavement was replaced by the muffled crunch of freshly fallen snow.
It feels like it was only a few days ago that I was sitting behind a desk in a school. I remember putting on a pair of headphones and listening to music during my break period. I remember my friends coming to me and starting conversations about practically everything from games to gossip. I remember how happy everyone was. I remember how happy I was. It's so surreal to think that happy memories like that could be my curse.
Although certain circumstances cause certain memories to resurface. During the fall and winter seasons, I just can't seem to stop thinking about them, it’s as if they’re a recurring nightmare that I can’t get rid of.
I exhale heavily and take another deep breath, filling my lungs with cold, dry air.
The school environment disappeared and was replaced with a small room. I was playing with my cat, Oliver, the week before he...
I clench my teeth and close my eyes tightly as tears began welling under my eyelids.
All I kept thinking was... Why? Why did I have to remember this now? I remembered the day clearly when I returned home and my father wrapped me in an embrace. I had no idea what was going on and no way to prepare for what was to come.
Oliver was very sick and his illness was slowly killing him for years. Not once did I wake up during that time and consider that day to be his last. I was happy that he was with me and that's all that mattered. I loved him and he loved me.
I was devastated by that. I'll never forget the pain I felt that day and the weeks that followed after. I instantly burst into tears, sobbing on my father's' shoulder. He told me that Fluttershy did everything she could for him, but it just wasn't enough. The thought that Oliver would still be alive if more had been done felt like a hot iron being stabbed into my chest. Sad memories like this bring about the pain and the suffering. The pain will never go away and the wound will never heal. I hate having to live this way.
I open my eyes and slowly wipe the tears from my face.
I put my hoof up to my chest and look up towards the cloudless sky. It looks like the clouds had just fallen out of the sky and covered the earth in thick white blanket.
I look back out across the town to see some children playing in the snow. I notice that a few of them have their cutie marks. After noticing theirs, I turn back to look at mine. The open book and feather pen, representing my special writing ability, has brought about countless of happy memories from when I was still trying to find my special talent to the praise I received from everypony for finally finding it. I closed my eyes and thought about how happy I was to have reached the milestone that every filly and foal aspired to reach one day in their lives.
I was sitting at the kitchen table just doing a normal homework assignment. I was supposed to write a short story about a treasure hunt. I can't help but laugh at how hopeless I was for those first few hours, but when I finally got my inspiration, I just started spewing words and thoughts onto the paper like it was nothing. An hour later, my parents came home from the store. The looks on their faces when they saw my mark was priceless. According to my parents, my expression was hilarious too. I can only remember that I couldn't even think straight when I saw the picture of the book and pen on my flank. I always liked writing, but I had no idea it would end up being my special talent.
However, the happiest memories are the ones I dread the most, even more than the pain of sad memories. No matter how happy of a memory it is, they are always followed with what I can only describe as regret. I wish I could go back and relive those moments forever and ever. I wish I could be back with all my friends in those happy memories for ever. I wish that I didn't have to be responsible for everything in my life. I wish I could just go back to my old way of life, but no matter how much I wanted it, I know I'll never get it and that is what hurts the most. Time though just moves forward, leaving those memories behind in its place frozen in time forever, never to be changed or revisited.
I open my eyes once more and look out over the small town and wonder to myself if I'm the only pony in Equestria that has this curse. All of my friends have shared those memories that I treasure and want to go back to, but I doubt that they feel the same way about them as I do.
Another ice cold breeze billows through my mane and chills me even more. Shivering, I decide that it'd be best to head back inside…Taking my thoughts with me.
