Tools of the trade
Written by Jlargent
Me: I know, I know another MLP fic but I can’t help it. This time I’ll focus on Pinkie’s insane ability to break the fourth wall. I do not own MLP in any shape or form.
Somewhere in Ponyville there is a shop, and in that shop is a stallion that can sell you the necessary tool for what ever job you’re looking for. The only reason this shop is not regularly visited by the populace is that it is hidden by means that are unknown except to a fortunate few such as the shopkeeper Wall Breaker, Lyra, a brown earth pony simply called ‘The Doctor’ and a certain pony making her way there as we speak making a purchase on an item that she had preordered.
“Welcome to the Hole in the Wall. How may I be of service? Oh, it’s you Pinkie, you’re here to browse?” the shopkeeper is a grayish white stallion with a broken wall as his cutie mark, his black mane and tail shows signs of age and his slate blue eyes tells of experience. His voice is rough but knows what the shopper wants and knows how to get it (Think the Merchant from Resident Evil 4).
The shop itself is a curiosity unto itself, full of objects that nopony has ever seen of course since this shop specializes in the weird and unique it is hard to say for certain what is being sold. But that is besides the point.
“Nope I’m here to pick up the ‘you know what’.” Pinkie said conspiringly to the stallion, the shopkeeper for his part knows better than to ask questions, especially when Pinkie’s around. With a grunt he places a rather large box in front in Pinkie and blows the dust off of the top.
“Here you go Pinkie, The Wall Smasher 4000.” he says with a flourish pulling the box lid off to reveal a rather large jackhammer with the words ‘Wall Smasher 4000’ on the front “Now Pinkie I don’t have to stress how powerful this thing is.” he warns her as she easily picks it up and places it into her saddle bag where it disappears, he remember selling that exact bag to her when she first discovered his shop. A perfect use of malletspace in his opinion rather than letting a girl carry a heavy mallet he makes the bag so light you can carry a nuclear warhead inside it and you wouldn’t feel the weight.
Just then the bell of the shop rings distracting the two, they look at the entrance to the shop to reveal Lyra carrying around a large book that was being levitated by her magical aura.
“Welcome to the Hole in the Wall. How may I be of service Lyra?” he asks her in his usual business tone.
“I’m here to pick up a certain gemstone that I had on layaway.” Lyra says, Wall Breaker nods and heads towards the back storeroom where his more dangerous artifacts are located, he emerges a moment later carrying a small leather bag “What do you need the Philosopher’s Stone for anyway kid?” he asks her as she hands him the correct amount of bits.
“Well I’ve been studying alchemy and I am certain I can summon a human here.” Lyra says looking at the book “I’m fairly certain that I can do it. The calculations are right and the formula is accurate so I can do this.” she said with utter confidence.
Wall Breaker sighs knowing that this is another harebrained scheme to prove that humans exist but then again he shouldn’t talk since humans do occasionally go through his shop but that’s another story.
“Kid, I know you think you can do this but don’t try it. Many a alchemist has tried and they died as a result of overconfidence, trust me you’re better off not trying to use alchemy.” he tells her Lyra was about to protest when Wall Breaker shoots her a glare “I know that you want to prove that humans exist. Hell I’ve met a few here and there during my travels but even I know that messing with alchemy is a dangerous thing.” his words seem to sink in as Lyra apologizes and returns the stone, he hands the money back to Lyra and bids her a good night. Wall Breaker sighs “She’s a good kid but really needs to get her priorities straight.” he mutters just as the bell rings again indicating another customer.
“Ah good evening Mr. Breaker.” an accented voice spoke as he enters the shop.
“Evening Doc. I suppose you’re here to pickup you new screwdriver.” Wall breaker says as he reaches behind the counter and pulls out a screwdriver that seems a little high tech “That’ll be twenty bits.” he tells the brown stallion.
“Thank you very much Mr. Breaker. Those Daleks are becoming more of a threat.” The Doctor spoke as he pockets his instrument.
Wall Breaker laughs “Well if anypony can beat them it’s you Doc. I’ll be seeing you later I suppose.” he says as The Doctor leaves.
“Or earlier.” he joked as the door shuts.
Wall Breaker turns his attention back to Pinkie “Sorry about that. Is there anything else that you want me to order?” he asks her.
Pinkie looks thoughtful before answering “Now that you mention it. Twilight’s birthday is coming up and I’m looking for a rare spell book for her.” she says.
Wall Breaker smiles “I do have a few books on mythological creatures. Would that help?” he asks her.
Pinkie gives Wall Breaker a million watt smile “Perfect! I’ll take them.” Pinkie says, Wall Breaker moves over to one of the shelves containing books and pull down three of them and places them on the counter.
“Thirty bits for all three.” he says.
“Okie dokie lokie.” Pinkie says and places the money on the counter and places the books inside her saddlebag.
“Pleasure doing business with you Pinkie.” Wall Breaker spoke as Pinkie was about to leave.
“Same to you Breakie.” Pinkie chirped making Wall Breaker wince slightly at the butchering of his name.
“See you later.” Wall Breaker says.
“Goodbye!” Pinkie says as she exit’s the shop.
“That kid will do some amazing things.” Wall Breaker says to himself as he prepares his shop for the next wave of customers.
The End.
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As always Hoody Hoo!
