Doctor Whooves: the old man and the grey mare

by Inkwell_the_writer_horse

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, Human, Doctor Whooves, Twilight Sparkle, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2387

One of the doctors regenerations go awry as he wakes up to find himself not humanoid in appearance, but equine.

One of the doctors regenerations go awry as he wakes up to find himself not humanoid in appearance, but equine.

Published 2013-11-26 02:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-04 08:12:05 UTC

Chapter 1: My Little Timelord

The old man lay dying on the cold, metallic floor. Between deep breaths he managed to whisper the words.

"Alone. So. Alone."

A shadowy figure circled the old man, and spoke out in a sinister, echoed voice

"For once. When you most need them, where do your precious companions find themselves? By your side? No. Never by your side, and yet, you're always by theirs, why?"

The old man tried to speak.

"B-b-bec-"

The shadowy figure stepped closer.

"Bec-because-"

and closer.

"Because I'm the doctor!"

The old man grabbed the large console next him, slamming on buttons and knobs, sending the room spinning.

"What did you do, you fool!?"

The old man clutched the console as he replied.

"I'm sending the TARDIS through the eye of the beholder!"

The mysterious figure grabbed the railing behind him as he exclaimed.

"You old fool! No one knows where it leads!"

The old man cracked a confident smirk as he said.

"Then I guess we're about to find out. ALLONS-Y!"

The room filled with a blinding light as the mysterious figure dissipated. The old man looked down at his hand as a thick, golden mist began to shoot out of his sleeve, covering his hand entirely. The same was true of his other hand, and finally, his entire head was engulfed by the golden mist shooting upwards from his collar. He had regenerated, just as the TARDIS was thrown from the eye of the beholder, a super black hole.

The old man opened his eyes, as the TARDIS opened her doors. The world outside was colourful and bright, a field, an empty field. The old man tried to climb to his feet, but as he pressed his hands onto the ground to push himself up he was shocked to discover that these were not hands, but hooves.

The newly regenerated Doctor sat on his rump, examining his hoof.

"Well, fancy that."

He reeled back, shocked by his own words.

"I can talk, an' all? Fantastic!"

In all of the Doctors years traversing the galaxy, he had never before met a talking equine. He grabbed his mane with his hoof and began to investigate it.

"Still not ginger, ooh, but it's a nice hazel."

The Doctor explored his new pony body as a grey, cross eyed mare came up behind him. She spoke in a high pitched, shy squeak.

"E-Excuse me?"

The Doctor spun around with impressive speed, a large grin spanning his face.

"Well, well, well. 'ello, girl, would you like a sugarcube? Oh, aren't you just adorable?"

The grey mare began to step backwards, a look of confusion adorning her face.

"Uh, I'm not supposed to take sugar cubes from strangers, mister."

The Doctor put his hoof to his head.

"OH! Of course, I'm sorry, still getting used to this, you see. Allow me to introduce myself, I'm the Doctor."

The grey mare inquired.

"Doctor who?"

The Doctor chuckled to himself and said with a smile.

"You're not the first to ask that question, and you won't be the last, it's just the Doctor, really."

Their was a brief silence before the Doctor broke it with a simple.

"And you are?"

The grey mare shot into the sky, saluting with her left hoof, before quickly switching to her right.

"Derpy Hooves, mailmare, at your service!"

She yelled excitedly. The Doctor looked up in awe, before saying.

"You can fly? Oh, that's fantastic, that is."

Derpy came down, remembering her objective.

"Ooh, this is for you."

Derpy handed the Doctor small, brown, paper package. After ripping the package apart with his teeth the Doctor realised the package was a book. "Equestrian anatomy for time lords"

"That's convinient."

The Doctor quietly said to himself as a concerned expression overcame his face. The Doctor flipped through every page, reading each page as they came. But at the end of the book was a secret message in a dead language, circular symbols held the message.

"I wanted to ensure our fight would be as fair as possible- Discord"

Derpy saw the Doctors face and attempted to snap him out his trance.

"What's wrong?"

The Doctor turned to Derpy and let out a sigh.

"Let me explain, I'm a time traveller, the big blue box behind me is my time machine, she's called the TARDIS. We were chasing a madman called Discord, he's a timelord, like me. I sent the TARDIS through a massive black hole called the eye of the beholder, which seems to have sent us to this universe. Derpy where did that package come from?"

Derpy pulled a piece of paper from her saddle bag.

"It says that when the mail mare service was founded, this package was put in storage, to be delivered to this spot, at this time."

The Doctor grabbed Derpy by the shoulders.

"When was the courier service founded?"

Derpy reeled back, thinking.

"About a thousand years ago, I think."

The Doctor did the same, thinking.

"Is there a libary or some kind of public archive nearby?"

The Doctor began pacing, as Derpy reeled her head back in confusion once again.

"Public archive?"

She said, quizzingly.

"Doesn't have to be public, I doubt colourful equines are big on security."

Derpy jumped up in excitement.

"Ooh, there's a libary in the middle of town."

The Doctor locked the door to the TARDIS and dropped the key in his saddle bag.

"Well then, lets be off."

Derpy and the Doctor walked to the center of Ponyville, a small rural town in Equestria. The Libary was a large treehouse with an observatory protruding out of the top.

The Doctor knocked on libary door, and was greeted by a purple unicorn.

"I need help, is their anything here in the way of historical records?"

The unicorn was taken by by the brown earth ponys bluntness.

"I'm afraid all historical records are kept in Canterlot libary, but if you have any specific questions I could help you out, what do you need to know?"

The Doctor closed his eyes and began to quickly move up and down, thinking, before bursting out with.

"A ma- equine, named Discord, do you know anything?"

The purple unicorn tilted her head.

"I know about Discord, but he's not a pony."

The Doctor smiled.

"Ok, tell me everything you can about him."

The unicorn stepped backwards, looking behind her as a glowing, purple aura engulfed her horn

"Actually, I have an entire book on the history of Discord, if you have a libary card."

The Doctor smiled and turned his head towards Derpy, nudging in the direction of the purple unicorn. Derpy just shrugged her shoulders and said.

"I can't even read."

The Doctor awkardly smiled at the purple unicorn, while rubbing the back of his neck with his hoof and chuckling.

"Haha, bit of a problem, I don't actually have a libary card."

A piece of paper and a quill levitated next to the purple unicorn, both engulfed by the same purple aura as her horn.

"I can set one up for you now, if you want."

The Doctor smirked.

"Oh, please"

The quill was put to the paper and the purple unicorn asked.

"I just need your name."

The Doctor smiled.

"I'm the Doctor."

The purple unicorn stared at the Doctor.

"Doctor who?"

The Doctor chuckled to himself.

"It's just the Doctor, actually."

The purple unicorn raised an eyebrow.

"You have to be doctor something, right?"

The Doctor grew tired of his back and forth between the purple unicorn.

"Fine, my name is Doctor Whooves."

He wrapped his arm around Derpy.

"We're married."

The purple unicorn summoned a large book, with a magic purple aura, and a small libary card.

"Oh, well, that's great for you two. Here's the book, and your new libary card, have a good day."

The Doctor and Derpy walked away from the libary, the door closing behind them.

The Doctor kept his arm around Derpy as the two walked off.

"This is great! never been married before, well there were a few times, Lizzy, and the like, but it was all for show, this is true love, ha ha."

Derpy looked confused. The Doctor saw this and held her closer.

"Oh, I'm just kidding."

The Doctor began to read the newly aqquired book "Discord: a history of the age of chaos and the draconequus race" The Doctor flipped through the book, reading every page as they came by.

"This isn't right."

The Doctor began flipping through the pages, again, reading them as they came.

"When we went through the eye of the beholder we went through the time vortex, but he teleported away, so he must've landed far in the past, but why would he also land on this planet? And the TARDIS always puts me where I need to be, the right time, and place, to stop anything going wrong!"

The Doctor began slowly walking away, Derpy followed behind, worried.

"What're you talking about?"

The Doctors head snapped back, snarling.

"Discord's a bloody statue!"

The Doctor looked away again, angriliy thinking.

"Where's Canterlot?"

The Doctor had calmed down by now, and a familiar voice emited from behind Derpy.

"What do you want with Canterlot?"

The Doctors head snapped back, revealing to him the purple unicorn from the libary. He began to snarl again.

"What business is it of yours, eh?"

The purple unicorn was taken back. After composing herself she held her head high and proudly announced.

"I am the apprentice of princess Celestia, so when I hear mysterious ponies ramling about Discord I feel a little uneasy."

The Doctor calmed down again.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'll explain, but it's all a bit mad, then again, I'm talking to a purple unicorn and I'm married to grey, cross eyed pegasus."

The purple unicorn raised an eyebrow in confusion. The Doctor quickly saw this and shook his head.

"I'm rambling again, aren't I?"

He let out a huge sigh before continuing.

"I'm The Doctor, I'm a TimeLord, I'm from the planet Gallifrey, in the constellation Kasterborous, I'm nine hundred and three years old, and I came here in a big blue police box called the TARDIS. I was chasing a rouge timelord called discord. He teleported out of the TARDIS, landing in the time stream, and then, into the past of this planet. What is this place called anyway?"

The purple unicorn spoke.

"Equestria."

The Doctor paused before letting out a giggle.

"Oh, I love puns, Equestria? That's fantastic, that is."

The purple unicorn began to think.

"Wait, what's the eye of the beholder?"

"Well, it's a giant black hole, a big dark swirly thing in the sky, but this particular black hole had a tiny blue light in the center."

The purple unicorns eyes widened as she smiled in excitement.

"Oh, you mean the eye of doom."

The Doctor cocked his head.

"Rather ominous name for an indiffrent force of nature."

"According to the old history books, the eye got it's name when some sort of long space craft with spikes and pillars on the outside fell from it, landing deep in the everfree forest."

The purple unicorn explained, staring at the Doctor as his mind raced.

"Yes,yes that would've been Discords old ship, it wasn't even capable of time travel, it just latched to the outside of the TARDIS like a parasite. That must've been where he went when he left the TARDIS. Did they ever find his ship?"

Another familiar voice came from behind the Doctor.

"Not officially."

The Doctor, Derpy and the purple unicorn all turned to see a pegasus with a dark blue coat and a powder blue mane, from behind his wings a cutie mark resembling some sort of constellation was visible.The Doctor spoke.

"I know you."

The mysterious pegasus smiled.

"The name's Star Hunter, but you probably remember me as Jack Harkness."

The Doctor tilted his head, confused.

"Wait, how are you a pony?"

A stern expression came over Star Hunters face.

"I was always a pony, but, as far as I can tell, their's an alternate universe on the other side of the eye of doom. In this alternate universe everthing that should be equine is humanoid, that's where you come from."

The Doctor cocked his head in confusion.

"So you're telling me that I came to an alterate dimension?"

Star Hunter nodded. The Doctor continued.

"I doubt a single person, uh, pony could find all this out on their own, and how do you know about Jack?"

Star Hunter sighed and tried to avoid eye contact with the Doctor.

"About ten years ago, their was a rip in space and time, it was unstable, but it acted as a portal between this world and your world. We worked with the Torchwood institue in Cardiff to close it. eventually, you came along and fixed everything, but at a price, everyone at Torchwoods Cardiff branch had their mind wiped and Jack was linked to me by some mysterious force. It gave me his immortality and taste for human women." Star Hunter smirked before regaining a stern expression. "Sorry, bad joke. Anyway, that little encounter prompted the creation of an unofficial Torchwood branch in Equestria."

The Doctor began to think.

"Hang on, I don't remember any rip in space or time."

Star Hunter began to explain.

"You were still a pony, but you looked different. You said you knew me but when I asked what you meant you just said it was all "timey wimey.""

The Doctor began to chuckle to himself.

"Yeah, that sounds like me."

Star Hunter checked the small device on his wrist.

"You need to come with me, back to the Torchwood HQ."

Star Hunter took a glance at Derpy.

"The companion can come to, until then."

He saluted the purple unicorn.

"Ms Sparkle."

She returned the salute with an upbeat.

"Send my regards to the princess."

Before the Doctor could question the exchange happening before him, a massive bright, blue light engulfed Derpy, the
Doctor and Star Hunter. The Doctor need only blink to find himself with the two other ponies in a large underground facility, filled with ponies working on large computers, strange machines and alien technologies, and on the wall, a large, stylised letter T and beneath, the words "Torchwood one."