Sugarcube Conundrum

by Zaphod

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2717

Pinkie enlists Twilight's help to run Sugarcube Corner when the Cakes go missing!

When the Cakes are nowhere to be found, Pinkie Pie takes it upon herself to set up and run Sugarcube Corner for the day. A job like that needs some help, though, and Pinkie knows just the Princess to ask!

Written on a whim after a random S4 discussion in the Intelligent Shipping Discussion Skype chat. Check em out!

Thanks to Hivemind, Drunken Logic, and KrazyTheFox for proofreading! You guys rock!

Cover art belongs to ILifeLoser.

Published 2013-11-25 01:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-25 01:00:01 UTC

Sugarcube Conundrum

Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!

Twilight Sparkle smiled at the familiar rapidfire beat. There was only one pony in all of Ponyville who could tap such a distinct pattern at the library’s door. “This is a public library, Pinkie Pie! Just come on in!” She delicately nosed another feather into position as the heavy wooden door swung open.

As predicted, Pinkie zipped into the room, huffing and puffing as she spotted the alicorn. “Quick! There’s no time to explain, Princess Twilight! The territory-state of Sugarcube Corner is in peril and we need your princessly help! The very fate of sugary treats in Ponyville is at stake! There’s no time to lose!”

“Gah!” Twilight yelped as Pinkie hooked a hoof around her belly, yanking her toward the door.

She ground her hooves into the floor, trying to stop the mad confectioner in her tracks. “Pinkie, slow down! What’s the matter? And I told you, you’re my best friend; please, just call me Twilight.”

Pinkie shook her head roughly, and Twilight was sure she could see specks of sugar flying out of her curly mane. “Nuh-uh! Even if we are the bestest of friends, this problem calls for a super amazing princess, and you’re the most super-dee-duper princess I know!” She pouted. “Pretty please, Twilight? I wasn’t being silly when I said ‘there’s no time to lose’, even though time is more of a concept than a thing, so you can’t really lose it! I mean, I guess you could lose a pocket watch or something, so is that what it means when they say time gets away from you? Now that’s silly, but I didn’t lose my watch so I’m not being silly!”

Twilight placed a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “Of course I’ll help out, Pinkie. Give me a second. Spike!” Twilight called up to the second floor as she levitated her saddlebags from the library couch. “Pinkie needs my help, so you’re in charge of the library for today. Make sure you sort the K through N section today; I don’t want to find ‘Nuances of Nature Magic’ next to ‘Legend of Starswirl the Bearded’ again!”

Spike’s mumbled response floated down from the upper level. Twilight could practically see him rolling over.

“If it’s done when I get back, we can go out for ice cream later! My treat!”

Spike was down in a flash with a soldier’s salute. “Leave it to me, oh generous commander!”

Twilight rolled her eyes and turned to Pinkie. “Let’s get going. Better to fix the disaster-of-the-day sooner than later!”

“We have to hurry!”

The duo galloped out the door, heading across the dirt roads of the town. Pinkie called out between strides, “There’s only a little more time before the rest of the town wakes up, and if they show up before we’re ready then they’ll all be leaving with frowny faces instead of smiles!”

“But Pinkie,” Twilight huffed as Sugarcube Corner came into sight, “Mr. and Mrs. Cake are always ready with the day’s sweets by the time customers arrive.” She cried out as she tripped on a rock, flapping her wings vigourously to regain her balance. “Why is today a problem?”

“That’s the problem, Twi!” Pinkie exclaimed as they burst through the door, skidding to a halt in the middle of the shop. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake have gone vamoose! AWOL! They’re missing!”

True to her word, there was no wave of heat from the kitchen ovens, no delightful humming as Mrs. Cake decorated the cookies and cupcakes, and no babbles or cries from the Cake twins, Pumpkin and Pound. Twilight had to agree that the lack of life in the building was a little unsettling.

She took a deep breath and considered the options. Surely the Cakes hadn’t just up and vanished. “Alright, Pinkie, tell me what happened before you came to get me. There has to be an explanation.” A notebook and quill floated out of her saddlebags, wrapped in her aura.

“Yepperooni! I was the first to wake up this morning, like always–” Pinkie hopped back and forth between the rooms, checking every nook and cranny for signs. “–but the Cakes’ bedroom door was open and they weren’t in there! The twins weren’t in their room either, which is super weird because usually Mrs. Cake or I have to keep an eye on them when the shop is open. So I thought to myself, ‘Pinkie, you silly goose, did you oversleep today?’ Then I rushed downstairs to apologise for being late and to help set up shop for the day, but nopony was down here either.”

“They could have stepped out for a while, Pinkie,” Twilight noted, jotting down the details on the notepad. “Maybe they finished making all of the sweets early and went out together for some fresh air. Is there somewhere to put the finished baked goods so they stay warm before the shop opens?”

A bounce later and Pinkie was at her side, grinning. “You’re thinking like a real detective, Princess! Ooh, maybe you should call yourself Princess Detective Twilight Sparkle!”

She nodded quickly, leading Twilight to a tall metal cart in a corner of the kitchen. “The cupcakes and muffins are covered with plastic wrap and put on this rack so they stay moist and don’t get all icky and hard. Nopony wants a cupcake that’s as hard as a rock when they’re looking for some tasty treats!”

The alicorn leaned forward, inspecting the cupcakes in particular. “There’s no frosting on these cupcakes. Did they just forget?”

“No, silly! If the cupcakes had icing, then the plastic would just mess it up! That’s why we wait until the morning to decorate all of the cupcakes; that way, they’re always fresh for the customers.” Pinkie gasped, remembering her plight. “But Mr. and Mrs. Cake aren’t around to finish the sweets or run the store and I don’t know where they are! So can you help me, Twi-Twi? Can ya can ya can ya please?!”

Twilight bit her lip. “It would definitely be a challenge. I’m not sure you should let me near the icing; do you remember what happened the last time I got near a frosting spatula?”

Pinkie snorted with laughter. “Oh yeah, that was so funny! Mrs. Cake told me you were all, ‘Oh, this one has too much! No, now this one is too little!’ and went bonkers!” She winked and bumped her flank against Twilight’s. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, it’s really easy! We just need to get cracking before the shop opens for the day, but the rest of it is smooth sailing!”

The alicorn blushed at the contact, smiling with determination. “Then let’s get to it! There’s no way Ponyville will be disappointed with Detective Confectioner Best Friends Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle on the case!”

“You said it, buckaroo!” Pinkie giggled merrily as she grabbed a single cupcake from the plastic wrap and an empty pastry bag from a drawer. “We’re gonna be decorating the cupcakes with chocolate icing today!” She scooped a generous amount of frosting into the bag, tying the back tightly. “Now, the first thing to remember is go nice and slow. You don’t want to overdo it or else it’ll be more icing than cupcake!”

She gripped the nozzle and middle of the bag between her forehooves. “The cupcakes don’t need a fancy pattern, that’s saved for the big cakes, so I just go in a swirly motion. See?”

Twilight nodded, remembering the few times she had ordered cupcakes from the Corner. “It always looked kind of like an ice cream cone to me, if the cupcake was the cone part.”

“Oh my gosh, I know, right?! They totally look the same! I always tell Mrs. Cake that if we ever got an ice cream machine, I’d be the best at it already because of all the cupcakes I practice on!”

Pinkie put the finished cupcake on a different shelf of the cooling rack and placed a fresh, undecorated cupcake in front of Twilight. She held out the frosting squeezer in a hoof. “Your turn. Give it a shot!”

Twilight levitated the utensil in her aura and let it hover over the spotless cupcake. “Alright… just like you did, I give it a gentle squeeze.” She focused the magic to press inward on the bag. A thin strand of icing leaked out, nowhere near as much as when Pinkie held the utensil. “Huh. Guess it needs a little bit more ‘oompf’. One more try!”

“Just be careful with it, Twilight. Too much pressure and you might pop the icing bag! That would be a total mess – a totally tasty mess, that is!”

“Pinkie,” Twilight cut in, pointing to the finished cupcake in front of her. “I think I did it right. How does it look?”

“Oooh!” Pinkie smiled and picked up the cupcake, rotating it on her hoof. “It looks good enough to eat! Nice job, Co-Detective Confectioner Best Friend! Now let’s real quick get the rest!”

Ten minutes later, a neat grid of frosted cupcakes lay on the cooling racks, ready to be served to the day’s customers. Twilight put the completely undamaged pastry bag on the counter. “That should about do it! And you were worried I was gonna put too much frosting on!”

“I had complete confidence in you, Twi-Twi. But even professional bakery mares like me make mistakes now and again! You can never be too caref–” A flash of movement on top of her head caught Pinkie’s attention. “Uh oh! My ears are going all flippity-floppy.” One ear flopped in front of her eye, limiting her sight. “My Pinkie sense hasn’t done this in a long time!”

“Floppy ears?” Twilight froze instantly. “Was that the sign for falling objects?!” She leaned forward on one foreleg, the other raised above to protect her noggin. “But we’re indoor–!”

Pow!

Twilight sat there in utter disbelief. There was frosting. Frosting everywhere. It was in her mane. It was on her legs, and on her horn, and dripping down the side of her nose. “The floppy ears… meant someone was about get all dirty. Of course.” And the absolute most embarrassing part?

Pinkie Pie was laughing right at her! “Oh man, Twilight! Th-that was the best thing I’ve seen all – ha ha – all week!” She spoke between fits of giggles, snorting and cackling all the while. “You look like a cupcake princess! You look so tasty I could just–!”

In one fluid motion, Pinkie hopped over the table and licked the frosting on Twilight’s muzzle. “Mmm! I knew it would taste good! … And a little bit like shampoo.” She stuck her tongue out after a moment. “I guess you’re gonna need another shower, huh?”

Twilight, a furious scarlet blush blazing across her cheeks, grinned as Pinkie licked her lips of the frosting. “Another shower is definitely in order; I can’t greet the customers with frosting all over my face. But first…”

A quick scoop and swipe left a dab of frosting on the tip of her baking partner’s nose. Twilight flicked her tongue forward to taste the frosting herself. “I think we can officially rename ourselves Detective Confectioner Best Cupcake Friends!”

Pinkie’s raucous laughter echoed from below as Twilight climbed the staircase.

“Okey dokey lokey, partner, here’s the plan.” Pinkie laid out a surprisingly well-detailed map of the building on the counter. Twilight took a step back to prevent any stray water drops off her mane from falling onto the parchment.

“Customers–” She grabbed a green gummy bear. “–will come through the front door and up to the register. They will tell–”

“Pinkie Pie, I know how to run a business. How different can this be from the library?”

“Hmm.” Pinkie popped the gummy bear into her mouth, pondering the thought. “Have you ever had to cover a book in chocolate sprinkles?”

“No, but–”

“Or help a customer decide between blueberry fiction, or banana nut mystery, or even chocolate chip romance?”

“I wouldn’t use those exac–”

“The sweets business is a serious game, filly!” Pinkie slammed a hoof on the table for emphasis. “You gotta fight for those smiles and that feeling of helping a customer in this pony-eat-pony world!”

“Maybe pony-eat-gummy bear would be a more accurate phrase,” Twilight quipped, noting another hoofful of bears lose their battle against the pink maw. She heard the bell at the entrance ring and smiled, prepared to impress her mentor. “But you’re right! Sometimes you just gotta focus on the goal and say:”

The alicorn whirled around, flashing her prepared winning smile to entice the customer. “Welcome to Sugarcube Cor–” She did a double take at the sight of the ponies. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake!”

“Princess Twilight! Hello there,” Cup Cake greeted her with a bow and a worried look. “Not that it’s not good to see you dear, but what are you and Pinkie doing behind the counter? It’s almost time for us to open.”

“Oh, am I glad to see you guys!” Pinkie cried as she rounded the corner to give them both mirthful hugs. “I was so worried something bad happened! Twilight and I were gonna run the store for the day just in case you didn’t make it back in time! Where were you guys?!”

She glanced at their feet and behind them in confusion. “And where are Pumpkin and Pound?”

“Oh, Pinkie, didn’t we tell you? We were dropping off the twins at day care today! Carrot and I decided it was for the best to give us a little more time to help out around Sugarcube Corner. You have more time to visit with your friends, too.”

Pinkie visibly deflated at the news of her two favourite foals being absent all day. “Rats! I guess they’re gonna have to spend the day without me. But hey!” She perked up with a small bounce, “Maybe they’ll learn some new games to play and we’ll have even more funnerific good times!”

“Looks like all of the desserts are already prepared and ready to go!” Carrot called from the kitchen. “Everything’s decorated and prepared perfectly. Are you girls responsible for this?”

“Actually, Pinkie did most of the work setting up,” Twilight explained with a smile, wrapping a wing over Pinkie’s withers. “As funny as it sounds, today I was the apprentice and Pinkie was the princess of frosting.”

“Aw, Twi-Twi, you don’t give yourself enough credit!” Pinkie turned to Cup Cake with reddened cheeks and a brilliant twinkle in her eye. “You shoulda seen her, Mrs. Cake! By the first or second attempt, she was already frosting like a pro!”

Cup Cake laughed, reaching into her saddlebags to pull out a few bits. “Thanks to you both, we’ll be ready in time to serve the customers today. Here,” she said, passing the coins to Pinkie. “Go treat yourselves to some ice cream. It’s the least we can do for your help today.”

Twilight breathed a soft sigh of relief, glad that her first hectic foray into retail would not be today. She trotted to the door, speaking over her shoulder, “Come on, Pinkie. Let’s get out of their hair.”

“Thanks again, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie called as she skipped toward the door after her purple friend. “I’ll be back to help with clean-up later!”

Twilight waited until Pinkie Pie had closed the door behind her to bop her on the nose. “And you thought they had gone missing. Or was that just a ploy to get me to spend the whole day with you?”

A bubbly laugh graced her ears as Pinkie slid up alongside her. “Maybe a little of choice A, and a little of choice B.” She nuzzled Twilight’s neck tenderly. “Wasn’t it super duper fun, though, my Detective Confectioner Best Princess Cupcake Friend?”

“I think the day’s not quite over yet.” Twilight returned the gesture quickly before tickling her friend’s belly with the tip of her wing, adoring the sound of the resulting squeal and dart away from the feathers. “Let’s go get Spike and head out for some ice cream.”

She picked up the pace, glancing at her radiant companion with a sly smile. “I think I’m in the mood for a double scoop of some chocolate chip romance.”