Elevator to heaven

by DarkDime

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Sad, Slice of Life
Length: 1090

Life can be fun. Life can be hell. What is it like to live life like a ghost?

Deep thinking and hours of work at a day job helps a pony realize that his life is completely meaningless. How does it make him feel? Depressed and insignificant. Depressed enough to want it to end, and insignificant enough not to question it. Can it be stopped though?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-25 16:20:03 UTC

The ground is only a jump away

    What is life? Life is only what you believe as reality. What is reality to me? Reality is sitting at a desk in a confined office space, with little to no thought gone into my continuous, monotonous state. Reality is living alone with nopony to rely on, and nothing of importance. Reality is hell.

    What if I were to stop? I could stop working. I could stop this stretch of loneliness. I could end it all with one jump.

    These thoughts go through my head as I enter the elevator that will take me up to my apartment on level twelve; the top floor of my residence. My hoof hovers over the button before pushing down on it. These thoughts are absurd and irrational.

    I find my door. I enter my living space. I ready myself for the short rest to come before the start of the next day. Life is on nonstop rewind. After the relief of sleep, I skip my breakfast and trudge straight into my walk to work. Everything is grey. Everypony looks like they need to be somewhere, as always with the morning.

    My day is done. I've filed, I've sorted, and I've put on fake smiles for every one of my associates. I'm not glad it's over though. I have to go back again tomorrow. Then the next day. Then the next week. Then the next month. Then the next year. It goes on and on and it won't stop. What is life without life? Life without life is nothing. I live as a ghost. I don't matter to anypony. If I were to leave, who would there be to grieve?

    My hoof more than hovers over the button to my floor now. It skips the button entirely, and instead finds purchase against the plastic of the button for the roof. I can't bear the thoughts of going back, yet again. My surroundings slow down and silence begins to fill my ears. I can only hear the hum of the elevator. Nothing matters anymore.

    When the doors of the elevator slide open, I'm greeted by the door to the outside world. It's still, no doubt, bustling with the activity of many eager ponies on their way home. My home is only an escape. Sunlight floods the small hallway as I soundlessly open the roof exit.

    There is nothing to stop me from crossing the landing to stare over the edge. It's really far down. I think about what I'm going to do. I step up onto the small ledge. I breathe in. I breath out. I close my eyes. I tell the pony whose death marked the start of my meaningless life that I will be with her soon. I tense and hesitate. Is this what I want? Yes.

    "Wait!" The sound makes me stop dead in my tracks. I don't recognize the voice. "Please don't!"

    Without turning around, I reply: "Why?"

    "I refuse to see you throw your life away. I can't stop you, but is this really what you want to do?"

    "If I do, it'll hurt less than going on for tomorrow."

    "Why is that?"

    "My wife died two years ago, and the only friend I had left drank himself to shit. I never saw a trace of either of them since. Now, all I can do is go back to an office job every day to pay back what I owe on my apartment. It only helps to know that I'll be doing the same thing as now for as long as I'm breathing."

    "I know things might be bad, but you can't give it all up like this. You still have so many years to live out."

    "It's hard to keep living when you don't have anything to hold on to." A single tear found its way onto my cheek. It felt as though talking about it was living it all over again.

    "I don't have anything to hold on to. My husband killed himself, I never had friends, I've been evicted, and I'm forced to beg for money because nopony will hire a street rat! I don't want to watch you jump because you remind me! My husband ended it the same way you're about to! Just please, don't jump!" I stepped back and turned around to face the pony who had just intervened.

    "I-I'm so sorry to hear that," I said. She was crying as well.

    "Trust me, I want to do the same thing, but why? There's no point in giving up! You have it all set up for you! You have a job, a house, and a better life than so many ponies out there! I have nothing but concrete and cold for company but you don't see me on a ledge! ...I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. You look like a nice pony. I don't want to stand in your way though. Do what you want." She looked down to avoid my gaze.

    "No. I don't want to jump anymore. Thank you so much. I...I would have...you saved my life." Without thinking, I hugged her. We stood there on the roof for what seemed like hours, but I didn't want to let her go.

    Eventually, we broke apart. I got a clearer look at her, now that my vision wasn't shrouded with tears. She had a light green coat, and a mint-green mane with white highlights. Her eyes were a golden color of orange, and she had a lyre for a cutie mark.

    "Thanks for that. I needed it more than you would imagine," she muttered. Something tells me that she didn't come here to stop me though. She wanted to do the same to herself.

    "Why did you come up here?" I asked.

    "I...I um...I came up to look out at the city."

    "I know that's not the truth. Tell me why you really came up here." After I said this, she burst out into tears. It was more than enough evidence to answer my question. "Sorry." I think that in a way, I saved her life as well.

<<

    Life is only what you believe as reality. The unicorn I met on the roof made me realize that reality is whatever you make of it. I realized that I have a better life than so many other ponies out there, and I should be thankful for that. I now see reality as an opportunity. I see it as a chance to truly be happy.