Twilight Goes on an Internet Dating website

by kirbyzilla

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Spike, Comedy
Length: 2734

Her friends decide Twilight is lovely, so they sign her up for an internet dating website

After Hearts and Hooves day, Spike decides to consult Twilight's friends about finding her a stallion. They sort of succeed, sort of...

Published 2012-03-10 17:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-10 17:14:01 UTC

one

Twilight Goes on an Internet Dating Website

It was but another sunny day in the small town of Ponyville, 3 days after the events of Hearts and Hooves day. That day, Twilight and Spike were out doing the many chores that they had daily, many of the chores being making sure the others were done. Spike saw all of the shops and decorations, and felt kind of sorry for Twilight Sparkle. She had never had any other pony to love, and most of the worthwhile stallions in Ponyville were already taken. He usually kept the thought to himself, but when they were doing their chores three days ago, seeing all the couples made Twilight cringe on the inside apparently, but she buried herself in her checklists to compensate. So, Spike arranged that all of her other 5 friends and him meet up at Rarity’s place while Twilight was studying, and discuss the issue.

“Hey, Twilight, you mind if I go out for a while?” Spike said, kind of uneasy that Twilight would press him for information.

“All your chores done?” she said, not taking her face out of the book she was reading.

“Yeah, and I’ll only be gone for a while, and-“

“Spike, you’re not my slave. If you’re done with everything, just leave, but just be back before sundown.”

So Spike left, surprised that it was that easy. He slapped on his determined face, and raced Rarity’s house. He than realized that he looked kind of ridiculous running through the crowd of idle ponies in the streets, so he took to a brisk walk.

Once he arrived, he saw that mostly everyone was already there, minus Fluttershy, but that’s okay. She isn’t exactly the love guru herself.

“Okay, I’m here, so what’s been accomplished so far?” Spike asked.

“Actually, we have only one or two things to do, and we weren’t exactly waiting for you, dearie,” Rarity said. “In fact, we really don’t need you much at all, I mean we all know Twilight’s personality, and what do you really know about love?”

“I feel… hurt…” Spike said after a slight pause.

“I’m sorry, Spikey. Treat yourself to some gemstones,” Rarity said, pushing a bowl of gems and his direction, immediately fixing everyting between the two of them.

“Now then ladies, lets look at the list Pinkie brought us,” Rarity then said, motioning for Pinkie to give it to her.

She then opened the list, which showed all of the available stallions in Ponyville, and since Pinkie knew everyone, it wasn’t a hard task to obtain.

“First… Big Mac! Lovely, I do say so myself. They both keep to themselves in a romantical sort of fashion…” Rarity said.

“Ah don’t really think that’s so much of a good idea… kinda awkward, if you know what ah mean….” Applejack said with a face of disapproval.

“Yes, I suppose. Next on the list, a fellow by the name of… John Smith? Odd name, but what’s he like?” Rarity asked.

“I dunno about that one,” Rainbow Dash said. “I often see the guy walking around, kind of aimlessly, with this Pegasus named Ditzy. You sure he’s single, Pinkie?”

“I sure am unless he’s a liar and if he was a liar Twilight wouldn’t want him anyway because she wouldn’t know when to trust him and when not to and-“

“That’s enough, Pinkie,” Dash said flatly. “Who else do we have? I’m thinking this guy might be suspicious.”

“Well… there’s- no they’re far too young… how about- no, he is simply dreadful… I don’t know! All of them are either not fitting for us or not fitting for her. I don’t want to see our Twilight alone forever!” Rarity said, starting to look panicked.

“Well, I see only one alternative,” Dash said, using her serious tone. “Internet dating!”

The rest of the mares had at first dismissed the thought as ridiculous, but then they pondered the thought.

“Well,” Rarity began. “It seems possible… but have any of us actually done this? I mean, we don’t want to hook Twilight up with a serial killer, or a creepy old guy, it might be too risky!”

“I’ve done it once. It was… nice.” Fluttershy said, suddenly appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

“Nice to see you made it Fluttershy,” Dash said sarcastically.

“Oh, I’ve been here for quite some time now.”

“Nevermind that, darling, what happened during all this, and how did nopony ever find out?” Rarity asked.

“Well, I can’t really tell you, because I promised I never would tell anyone.”

“Who’d you promise?” Dash asked

“Big Mac,” Fluttershy said. Immeadiately, she realized what she’d done, and then her eyes widened, and she shot out of the building before any of them could point out her mistake (And for the record, she stayed in her cottage for the next week and a half).

“Ah… ah’m gonna go talk to Big Mac…” Applejack said as she slowly walked out of the house.

“…Anyway, I think we should just make Twilight a profile without her knowledge. I’m sure she would never go for the idea under normal circumstances,” Rarity said after a silence that preceded the Fluttershy incident. “Unfortunately, we don’t have the technology to put a picture with her account. So, the same will go for the other pony, and it will be blind.”

“Oo, maybe she’ll get hooked up with a celebrity!” Pinkie Pie said excitedly.

“Or some weird dude that cant talk to a girl himself,” Rainbow Dash said as she rolled her eyes.

“Oh Dashie, don’t be so negative! This was your idea, anyway!”

“Yeah, I know, but I didn’t think you guys would go for it.”

By now, Rarity was on the large computer atop a desk hugging the wall of her living room. They were primitive- kind of like our old computers. Pinkie and dash both crowded around her, giving advice on what to put for her description. Spike had recently finished his gemstone snacks, and walked up to monitor their progress.

“Internet dating, huh? Can’t say I think Twilight’s gonna be happy with you guys,” Spike said.

“Well if it means finding her a companion, I think it will be worth it,” Rarity said.

Spike read aloud as rarity typed (With some form of witchcraft I presume, them having hooves and all), and didn’t really approve, to put it simply.

“What? Looking for some fun and a wink face? Rarity, Twilight’s idea of a fun vacation was to purchase every book ever written about the concept of fun, and use her vacation days to read them all. EVERY SINGLE VACATION DAY.”

“Fine, fine, will this calm you down?” Rarity said as she typed a closing sentence.

Spike read it out loud- “Also, I love books. God I love books. Seems a bit understated, but I guess it’ll have to do.”

Once they had finished Twilight’s profile, they sent Spike to the library to get Twilight. He whined that Rainbow Dash could get it done a lot faster, but they laughed and practically kicked him out and said, “Don’t come back without Twilight.” So he complied, and headed towards his house/library.

He opened the door, and twilight was in the center of two stacks of books, which he could only assume was read and not read. The read pile was much larger, he could see as she placed another book on top of the growing pile.

“Hey, Twilight? Can you come down to Rarity’s place? We have a surprise for you!”

“Can they bring it here? I’m a little busy at the moment.”

Spike caught the title of the book she was reading, and said, “Havent you already read that one anyway?”

She looked up from her book, and said, “I’ve read it 27 times, Spike. I’ve read every book in here at least 7 times. This one just happens to be a favorite.”

“Uhhh, well, the surprise involves reading,” Spike said suspiciously.

“Well, I guess I could check it out… I sure do love reading!”

“Woulda never guessed…” Spike said under his breath.

Twilight was pressing him for answers about the surprise on the way there, but he blocked out her voice with thoughts of the gems he might get from Rarity. Rubies, emeralds, sapphire, opal… He almost walked into the boutique door before he caught himself.

He knocked at the door, and Rarity magically opened it, to reveal her, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie crowded around the computer, and Rarity was in front of the screen.

“So, what’s this all about?” Twilight asked to the group of grinning ponies.

“Just look, my dear!” Rarity said exitedly, as she moved away from the screen.

Twilight cast an evil eye at spike, and whispered, “You said this had to do with reading!”

“Well, to an extent it does…” Spike whispered back.

Twilight walked up to the screen, and when she saw what was on the page, she looked at the three other ponies and Spike. Spike was starting to cringe up, as he knew what would happen next.

“Okay.”

Spike started yelling gibberish about how he tried to stop them but they wouldn’t listen, but Dash shoved her hoof in his mouth.

“Really?” Rarity said, surprised.

“Actually, yes. I really have no problem. I was actually considering it before, but I didn’t want you guys to judge me. But now that you did it for me, I have nothing to worry about.”

A sound came from the computer. Rarity checked it, and she turned back obviously surprised, or excited. Probably both.

“Look at this Twilight!” She said, notioning her towards the computer.

“Oh, wow! Already?” She said in return. There was already a stallion that sent her a message containing, “Hey.” Simple, yet an okay conversation starter. She proceeded to look at his bio, and it was perfect! Almost the same as the one Rarity had written for Twilight behind her back! He also liked books!

“We’ll leave you alone for a while,” Rarity said with a suggestive tone. “We are going to try to get Fluttershy out of her cottage.”

And they tried to get her out of her cottage, but to no avail. Quite frankly, Fluttershy barely even said anything. As they tried, and tried, hours passed, and they decided to try again tomorrow.

Once they returned, they saw Twilight still chatting with this stallion she found. Still, with the same happy expression she wore hours before they left.

“Twilight? You two have been talking for quite some time, care to stop for the night?” Rarity asked.

“I would, but I don’t have a computer. Call me old fashioned, but I read books.”

“Okay, I suppose a few more minutes then… I’m going to go upstairs, just remember to lock the door when you leave. Good night, girls!” Rarity said.

“Yeah, I got some stuff to do tomorrow, I better leave to,” Dash said.

“What is it? Can I come with you?” Pinkie Pie said, way to over excited.

“I’ll tell you once I decide what I’m gonna do…” She replied lazily. “C’ya guys!”

“I better leave, too. Good night Twilight!” Pinkie pie shouted.

She was already out the door before Twilight could reply.

The next morning, Rarity woke up, and walked groggily to her kitchen to make coffee. She didn’t notice when she first walked by, but she did a double take, and saw Twilight still there, looking still as happy as ever.

“Twilight?” Rarity began. “Were you here all night?”

“Oh, was I here that long? I’m so sorry. But guess what? He’s coming down in two weeks!”

“That’s… great, and very fast too!”

“I know! I can’t wait to tell everyone else!”

But unfortunately, nobody else would know until he came, because she spent every living hour on that computer until the two week mark hit. Needless to say, all of her friends were worried sick about her for the 14 days. They didn’t need to worry about her being in danger though, I mean, she was only at a computer screen.

But it was indeed troubling to Twilight's friends that she had even the mental and physical capabilities to stay at the computer screen for as long as she did.

After three days, Rarity had genuinely wanted her to get outside, or at least out of her house. She had started to smell from not taking a bath for days, and her mane looked as it did during the incident with ms. smarty pants. But, Twilight couldn't notice the disapproving looks Rarity gave her in the two days, because her eyes hadn't moved direction in eight hours. Eventually, Rarity had had enough.

"Twilight, darling, we need to talk."

"Say what you need to, I'm listening."

"You really need to get away from that computer screen, I doubt that it's very healthy for you..."

"Rarity, I can't leave, because I don't have a computer."

"I didn't say I wanted you out, I just said-"

"I know. It was implied."

"Well I can't say it's a lie, but maybe I could just let you borrow-"

Before Rarity was able to finish her sentence, Twilight had already teleported herself and the computer to her "special room" in the library.

"That would work to, I suppose," Rarity said indifferently as she magically got some disinfectant spray and started spraying the general area where Twilight sat.

A few more days passed, and Twilight was still locked in her special room. Spike wasn't allowed in there, but he did have to slip a sandwich in there twice a day. He tried to peek in, but the room was set up where the door swung inwards to the left, and the room in particular was on the left side, made invisible by the door in the way. So, he was only able to see the wall to his right.

"Twilight," Spike said, delivering Twilight's breakfast sandwich. "Your friends are starting to get really worried about you... you should really get outside for a few hours."

"Spike, I'm fine. Tell them that, to. I just want to talk to this stallion for a while, is that so much to ask?"

"Well a while is fine, but days on end is just abnormal..."

"I'll be out in 9 days to meet him in person anyway, so tell them they can find me then."

"Can you at least just-"

Before he could finish, she shut the door magically, and he heard some locks setting themselves. Spike sighed, and went off to do whatever he wanted, because he could, now that Twilight was occupied.

Twilight was serious about not coming out for nine days. The only time she left her room before seeing the mystery stallion was right beforehand, when she went to the spa to prepare. She should have relaxed, because that's what a spa is for, right? But she was just to anxious, and she seemed rushed for the entire visit.

In any case, Fluttershy had come out of her house finally half a week ago, and was now talking with Rarity on a hill overlooking Ponyville.

“So Twilight was talking to him for the entire two weeks?” Fluttershy asked with wide eyes.

“She sure did… we all worried for her, but she couldn’t have gotten herself in any danger, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Well, when I told my dad about how I locked myself in my house for days, he was offal worried about me. He asked if I wanted him to come down from Cloudsdale, but I didn’t want to bother him. But he just said that he was coming in five days anyway for something, but he didn’t tell me what.”

Rarity put an expression on her face that looked like she just saw a ghost. “Fluttershy? How long ago was that?”

“Five days, why?”

But Rarity never did tell her, she just ran off to Ponyville, as fast as she could.

~Author's notes

And I have added a bit more story on what happens inbetween the two week wait. Also, I fixed a few spelling errors, but I don't know about em all. I will add more to the conversation between the five friends later, but i'm somewhat rushed at the moment. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed!

This story was inspired by the fanfic Fluttershocked, by Haze-man. So if you haven’t read it, go check that one out! It’s FUNNY.