The mane six stood in Twilight’s library. They gathered around in a circle in front of the crystal box with six keyholes which they had retrieved from the Tree of Harmony.
Twilight Sparkle was diligently reading a book from off of her shelf, looking for any information on how to get into the box. She hastily flipped through page after page with her magic, looking for a clue on what to do.
Rarity stood admiring the beauty of the box. Even though the box itself was quite bland, and nothing but a plain blue box, to her it was getting into the box which caused it to have such allure. After all, the box had thus far proven impossible to open. If opening it was so hard, what was inside must be amazing. What could be in the box? Its contents could bring Rarity fame, wealth, and everything she ever desired! Her star-lit sapphire eyes sparkled and twinkled with the shimmering reflection of the crystal box on her irises. It was a dazzling ocular display that could only be matched by whatever wonders were in that box.
Rainbow Dash bashed her hoof into the side of the box repeatedly, trying to break its crystal exterior. She would get into that box no matter what. Even though Twilight had already tried her magic, and Applejack had already tried bucking it a few dozen times to no avail, Rainbow Dash was confident that she’d get the box to open somehow.
Maybe if I take it outside and do a sonic rainboom on it. Hmm… she thought. But, she had worn herself out, so sat down to rest.
Applejack sat off in the background, exhausted from her earlier attempts to buck the box open. She fanned herself with her hat, and droplets of sweat fell on the ground.
Fluttershy was busy trying to convince Discord to open the box for them, but her attempts to persuade him hadn’t led to much success. After all, he loved a good riddle, and wouldn’t want to spoil it. Discord lay in midair, lounging around and munching on popcorn as he grinned from ear to ear, gleefully watching the mane six attempt in vain to get into that coveted box. Fluttershy had tried every trick in the book. She'd made the cutest faces that she could, ones that could cheer up a terminal cancer patient. She'd even tried using the stare to get Discord to spill the box's secrets. But, alas, the god of chaos would not tell, and his lips were sealed. In fact, he'd turned his lips into a zipper and shut them.
Pinkie was just off in the corner playing jump rope with her own shadow. She had been interested in the box for about five minutes, but then her short attention span had been drawn to other things. In fact, her attention span was busy doodling on one of Twilight's pieces of parchment at that very moment.
Finally, Applejack broke the silence.
“So… how do y’all reckon we get into that box?”
“Well, there’s key holes, duh,” said Pinkie Pie, rolling her eyes. “So it needs keys to open.”
“Keyholes, schmeeholes,” said Rainbow Dash. “If it exists, it can be broken! That’s what my flight school coach said to me when I was a filly, and I’ve never forgotten it since. That saying has made me into the mare that I am today!”
“A rambunctious braggart?” asked Rarity.
“Exactly!” Rainbow Dash replied, pointing to her chest with her hoof.
“Well, Discord’s not much help,” said Fluttershy.
The draqonequus chuckled. “Oh, it’s just so much fun watching the six of you struggle to open that box! You know that it’s just a box, right? I’ve been into the box several times, and it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. It probably won’t live up to your expectations. It may even be a disappointment or a letdown.”
He dropped down to the floor and hung his head low in demonstration.
Pinkie said, “Too bad Pumpkin Cake isn’t here; she could just use her magic to walk right through the box and get whatever’s inside!”
“Well, as soon as you figure out how to talk to babies and get them to do yer biddin’, let us know,” said Applejack, chuckling.
“You’re being particularly quiet over there, Twilight,” Rarity noted.
Twilight didn’t even glance up from her book; she was so engrossed in her reading. Finally, she jumped up in the air in excitement.
“I’ve got it!” she exclaimed.
“You do?” the other five asked, rushing over to the book in excitement.
“Yes,” said Twilight. “It says here in this old tome about the Tree of Harmony…
I am a box. To get into me, you need a key.
Take a look, it’s simple, you see.
The keys will appear from this book when you act as I please."
“Whoosa whatsit?” asked Applejack. “That don’t make no sense.”
“I think I understand,” said Fluttershy. “The keys to the box come from this book.”
“So we can get into the box with a book?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“When we act as the box pleases? So what, do we just ask nicely? Because I can do that,” said Rarity. She walked over to the box.
“Please, mister box. Or missus box, I don't mean to assume. Do be a dear and let us in, would you?” She fluttered her eyelids and made a duckface. Discord chuckled.
“What’s so funny, buster?” asked Rainbow Dash, flying up to him and scowling.
“Oh, just the… the look on her face!” Discord cackled. He held up a photograph of Rarity’s face. “She’s so desperate! You all are! You know that it’s just a box, right?”
“But it has to be important! We found it right at the top of the tree of harmony, right up there where everypony can see it,” said Twilight Sparkle.
“Yep. It wouldn’t be up there if it weren’t important!” said Applejack. “Whatever’s in that box must be real quality stuff, I reckon!”
Discord fell on the floor laughing.
“Qu-qu-quality!” he cackled. “That’s a riot!”
“Let’s ignore him, girls,” said Twilight Sparkle. “Now, the riddle said that the keys would come from the book when we acted as the box pleased.”
“What d’ya suppose it meant by that?” asked Applejack.
“Maybe we should just be ourselves,” said Fluttershy. “Surely the box likes it when we do that.”
“As if we haven’t been ourselves today already?” asked Rainbow Dash. “It wants us to do something awesome, I’ll bet. You probably can only get into the box by doing something amazing!”
“Well, I have been working on a rather dashing new dress,” said Rarity. Her horn lit up as she summoned a diamond-encrusted ensemble fit for a princess. It sparkled as it lit up the whole room. The hyper-compressed carbon formed by millions of years of volcanic pressure from the earth’s crust shimmered with the intensity of a thousand suns. The other ponies had to shield their eyes as Rarity held up the dress.
She levitated the dress over to the box, and fit it through the neckhole. The box was now wearing the dress. Then, Rarity levitated the book over to the box. The box refused to open, and the keys did not appear from the book.
“Still no keys,” said Twilight Sparkle.
“Maybe I can do a sonic rainboom!” said Rainbow Dash. “That’ll impress the box!”
Rainbow Dash zipped out the doorway and into the mid-afternoon sky. She soared up into the air, thousands of feet up. When she was finally high enough, she plunged downward. The air ripped apart around her as she approached supersonic speeds. Her gums and mane flapped in the wind as tears formed in her eyes. Finally, a white cone appeared around her front hooves as a rainbow explosion emanated from her body. The colorful cacophony echoed throughout Ponyville and rattled everything in Twilight’s library… except for the box, which stayed put.
Rainbow Dash panted as she returned to the library.
“Alright, let’s see what’s in the… drat.”
“Ooh, ooh, I know! Let’s throw a party!” said Pinkie Pie. “We’ll give the box lots of food, and tell it some funny jokes!”
Pinkie Pie got out her party cannon and fired it off into the air. Confetti and streamers appeared all over the room as Pinkie put on a party hat. She gave the box a plate with a slice of cake on it. Then, she grabbed a microphone and started her standup routine.
“So, how are you doing today? Now, today, we’ve had a heck of a time trying to get into this box. Am I right?”
The other five ponies clapped and yelled “Woo!” Discord yawned.
“Well, we’ve tried many different ideas. We’ve tried opening it with kicking, magic, dazzling dresses, and even a rainboom. We sure have thought outside the box, huh?”
Everypony groaned at her horrible pun.
“Now, what’s the deal with the weather? I mean, we manage our own weather here in Ponyville, but it seems like it’s never on schedule, or it’s always behind. We keep missing rainfalls, or scheduling them on the wrong day. Like, what’s the point of even managing our own weather if we don’t actually, you know, manage it! Why even bother? Even though there's a schedule, I don't know when it'll be sunny! I feel like I’m living in the Everfree Forest for crying out loud!”
The ponies chuckled. Twilight hollered extra loud and clapped, because as an organized pony she could relate to that particular joke.
"Now last week, I did a show in Cloudsdale. What a dangerous city! I tell ya, when I was walking on-stage, I tripped over the microphone cord and fell right through the floor! Good thing Rainbow Dash was there to fly down and save me from plummeting to my death!"
Pinkie continued her standup routine for ten more minutes, but still the box wouldn’t budge.
“Maybe we need to try a different route. Comedy might not get us into the box,” said Twilight.
“I’ve got it,” said Fluttershy. She grabbed the book in her hoof and walked over to the box. Then, she stared at the box. The deep caverns of her pupils expanded to become as wide as saucers, exposing her soul.
”Take it. Let us in, box,” she commanded, using the mysterious will-bending power of the stare.
The box still didn’t open.
“I don’t think you can demand your way into the box,” said Rarity. “I mean, if it doesn’t respond to fashionable dresses, what would it respond to?”
Applejack chuckled. “Look at y’all: tryin’ to impress the box with y’all’s fancy rainbooms and dresses and standup routines. Did’ja ever stop to think that you just gotta work hard enough at it? I’m sure this box, like myself, appreciates a good day’s hard work.”
Applejack grabbed the box in her hooves and placed it on her back. Her back cracked under the enormous weight of the box. She heaved it all around the room, straining her muscles for nearly an hour as she lifted the box up the stairs and down the stairs on her back. She did curls with the box, and she even bench-pressed the box.
But it still didn’t open.
“Dagnabbit!” said Applejack, sweat coating her entire body. “I worked so hard, but still didn’t get into that box!”
“Hard work might not get you in,” said Twilight. “It’s something else. But what could it be? We’ve tried everything. Not even my magic worked, and my magic can normally solve any problem!”
Finally, Discord got up off of the floor from his uncontrollable fit of laughter.
“Alright, alright. Do you ponies want me to tell you how to get into the box?” asked Discord.
“Yes!” the six ponies implored.
“Very well, then,” he said. “You get into the box by one thing, and by one thing alone: luck. That’s it. There’s no guaranteed formula. It’s chaotic, much like myself. The box has more mood swings than Fluttershy over here. It’s a regular Jekyll and Hyde. Sometimes it likes one thing, sometimes it likes another. I’ve been in the box a few times before, and it’s never worked the same way twice. Though, I can tell you that once you’ve opened the box, it becomes easier and easier each time to open it.
“Sometimes, I make it laugh. Sometimes, I make it cry. Sometimes, I impress it with stunts. But sometimes… I have to resort to…” his voice trailed off.
“To what?” asked Fluttershy.
Discord’s face turned pale at his recollection. He shook his head a few times, then returned to normal.
“Uugh. Well, let’s just say that it’s the one thing that you haven’t tried yet. I think the box is in the mood for it, since nothing else has worked. All I can ask is, do you really want this?”
“Mmhmm!” all the ponies said collectively.
“Very well, then,” said Discord. “Now, here’s what you’ll need…”
“Just to be clear with y’all. That was only for gettin' in the box. I would never normally condone such actions,” Applejack said, a stern look on her face to drive her point home.
“I never thought that a lady like myself would have to resort to doing such things,” Rarity shuddered.
“Eh, I’ve had to do worse than that,” said Rainbow Dash, waving her hoof in the air.
“I haven’t,” said Twilight Sparkle. Then, she gasped. “Oh, no. What if the princess finds out?”
“Oh, Celestia? She’s done far worse herself,” Discord replied.
Fluttershy did not speak at all, but merely huddled up in the corner in a ball, crying and rocking back and forth to try to erase the memory.
“Wow, I've never had a party like THAT before! That was really super duper extra-funtabulous!” said Pinkie Pie. “Can we do it again? Can we? Huh huh huh?”
“NO!” the other five shouted.
“Well, at least we got into the box,” said Twilight Sparkle.
She gazed over at the opened box. It was filled with mostly junk like banana peels and aluminum cans. But it did contain a few gems, like a rubies and sapphires, which Spike then ate.
And that’s what happened when the mane six got into the box.
