Overactive

Chapters

I Might be Going Insane...
In Which I Suffer Head Trauma
Living with Ponies, Day 1
Living with Ponies, Day 2
Saving Private Apple(jack)

I Might be Going Insane...

Author's Note:
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all associated characters, locations, etc. are property of Lauren Faust and Hasbro. I do not own these characters, nor do I claim to own them. Now then, continue on with your entertainment endeavors.

Overactive

A story by Mariorulez14

Chapter 1

Living in a small town, I didn’t get a lot of interaction with other fans of My Little Pony outside the world surrounding my computer. The only one I ever really knew in real-life was a shy girl that always disappeared into the crowd whenever I tried to talk to her…Shelby was her name. In fact, the time she told me she watched the show was only one of two times we ever actually talked. I’d see her every now and again by her locker or sitting in between the vending machines and I started to develop a bit of a crush on her (even to this day, I’m still not sure if it was because she was cute or that she didn’t laugh at me when I admitted I watched a show for little girls).

It was around the time the episode Sweet and Elite aired that school got really crazy. I was pulling all-nighters for the next couple of days trying to keep up with the homework, but I’d finish one thing and find 3 more to do. After 3 straight nights of no sleep, the idea of a mini-marathon of ponies snuck its way into my head. I looked at the clock – 12:38 a.m. I thought to myself, what the heck, it’s late enough. I was getting frustrated with cosines and tangents anyway, so I started up my episode playlist and relaxed for a bit. All those sleepless nights came back to haunt me though; next thing I knew, I was face-down on my laptop with Sweetie Belle singing her jazzy rendition of Fluttershy’s lullaby sounding through my headphones.

“…That’s so ironic it hurts,” I grumbled, a feeling a bit embarrassed that a lullaby – even Sweetie’s – was the thing to wake me up. I combed through my short-ish hair, wiped the dribble off my right Alt key, closed my computer and tiredly stumbled into the bathroom to prepare for the day.

Most of the time, I’d see Shelby walking to school by herself looking kind of paranoid, like something was following her. Today, however, she was sitting at the bus stop looking as exhausted as I was.

My first thought was, the girl you’ve got a crush on it sitting where you usually do. You’re tired beyond belief. If you do something stupid, you’re never going to forgive yourself.

Nervous as I was, I mustered all of the courage I had and, in a classic display of cliché, approached her and completely botched the words I intended to say. What should have come out as “How’s it going?” came out as something along the lines of “Hats on Groening”. I would have sworn she giggled, but she didn’t move other than a quick glance in my direction…not even a smile. Either I was going completely insane from lack of sleep or…

“You like her, don’t you?”

My vision was then filled with what looked and felt like cotton candy, sending me stumbling around groping at whatever what clinging to my face. I managed to it off, and when I saw what – or rather, who – it was…

“…Yeah, I’m going completely insane.”

I stared at what I was holding for a while, not knowing what to think. It was a pink pony about the size of my Chihuahua, with blue eyes and the same cotton-candy mane that blinded me a few seconds prior…a smaller-than-normal Pinkie Pie. It’s not like I hated Pinkie Pie, she was my favorite pony after all…it’s just that I wasn’t exactly prepared for her to go full-out Jockey and jump on my head.

“So am I right? Do you liiiiiiike her?”

My mouth simply refused to make words. Here I was, standing in public waiting for a school bus, holding a character from My Little Pony. “Kinda…” was the first thing that I managed to say. The pink pony’s face widened into a smile as she wiggled her way out of my hands and down to the ground.

“Hee hee, Mr. Human has a marefriend! ~” she sang as she bounced in a circle around me. I let out a sigh as I sat down by Shelby, not caring about nerves anymore. I sat there for a couple minutes watching Pinkie Pie sort through a bag of party goods she got from somewhere when I heard a soft voice to my right. “I see Pinkie Pie...”

I jumped a bit and looked over to see it was Shelby. Her eyes were almost as big as Pinkie’s as she stared unblinkingly at the party pony, who was busy stuffing fully-inflated balloons into a saddlebag that wouldn’t normally hold them.

“You can?” I asked her. She nodded, still keeping her eyes on Pinkie. “Heh, so I guess I’m not going into sleep-deprived madness”. I made the motion of wiping sweat off my forehead as I said this out of habit and looked back over at Pinkie. Strangely enough, Pinkie was staring at Shelby with the same surprised expression, although with a smile on her face.

“You can see me too?” Pinkie chimed out as she started to walk toward an obviously freaked-out Shelby. Shelby let out a little “yes” and squeaked as Pinkie Pie got closer.

“You don’t have to be so scared, you silly-filly!” Pinkie, well, she teleported for lack of a better explanation; one minute she’s 3 feet in front of Shelby, the next she’s reclined on the back-rest of the bus stop bench next to Shelby’s head. “You remind me a lot of my friend Fluttershy, always scared of things.”

Shelby was as confused by Pinkie’s Houdini act as much as I was, but still gave a scared cry when she saw Pinkie appear out of nowhere right next to her. She stood up and pointed at the pony.

“You…you’re just a fictional character…” she said in a quiet voice. Pinkie was right, she was a lot like Fluttershy, I thought to myself as Shelby continued in her confused stupor. “You can’t be real, but I can see you…”

At this point, the sidewalk traffic had started to roll in. The first of the businessmen that usually walk to work looked over and saw a girl pointing at what looked like a pink-dyed Chihuahua. Once he got closer and figured out it was a Technicolor horse, he turned around and went home, probably thinking to himself he was going insane. Right there with you, man…

Pinkie just looked at Shelby with a confused look. “Of course I’m real, everypony’s real! Fluttershy and Twilight and Rarity and Applejack and Dashie, and of course me…but maybe we’re not because we’re in a completely new place we’ve never seen before. I wonder where everypony is, there was this weird portal that I ran into because I thought it led to a party dimension but it lead here and everypony else followed me in and now I’m here!”

During her rambling, Pinkie Pie had gotten off her perch and wandered around, attracting looks from a couple young children who smiled. “Hey girls,” I said out loud. Shelby looked at me with a hint of insanity in her eyes, while Pinkie looked at me like I was going to throw a cake in her face or something. At least seeing a pink, talking pony from a kid’s show was enough to break Shelby out of Fluttershy-mode.

“You think we’re not the only ones that can see Pinkie?”

“I…I don’t know. Maybe?”

I’m kind of glad that I’m getting her to say more than one thing…her voice is kind of cute.

Pinkie ran up to me and pulled my face down to her level. “I know the answer, but I might get a little boring.” I started to say, “What are you talking about?” but she shoved her hoof in my mouth (it tasted like strawberry ice cream for whatever reason), ran around the street corner and came back wearing a lab coat, glasses and pulling a whiteboard that she started to scribble on. The first thing she drew was a little stick figure person and a pony.

“You humans have something that everypony in Equestria has, an imagination.” She bounced up and down, writing the word “IMAGINASHUN” at the peaks of her hops. She pointed a hoof at the stick figure’s head, then at the pony. “Imagination lets the humans create things, like a TV show about me, my friends and everypony in Equestria-“

“Hold on.” By now, Shelby had gone to sit down on the bench and was giving Pinkie a puzzled look. “You mean that Ponyville’s real?”

“Duuuh, of course it’s real," Pinkie reiterated. "Me and everypony else couldn’t be here if we weren’t! Like I was saying, show about everypony in Equestria. But some people don’t have an imagination and aren’t good at making things up, and they’re the kind of people that don’t like to have fun or parties!” It looked to me like her mane deflated a bit, but then sprung back up as she continued.

“Human-people with imaginations can see us, but the ones without imaginations cant. You two must have lots and lots of imagination if you can see all of this!” Pinkie’s face broke into an enormous smile as she ran back around the corner and came back with no trace of the items she had originally. All of a sudden, there was a loud “HONK!” as the bus started down the street toward our location. Pinkie, caught off-guard, made a sound a lot like Shelby’s earlier yelp and fell on her back, causing Shelby to giggle. She has a witch or something, even her giggles are cute.

I looked around us one last time to see people either ignoring Pinkie, staring at Pinkie or taking a few aspirin and making themselves think they didn’t see Pinkie. Shelby did the same, then looked over to me with that same shyness as before. “So, um…want to sit by me on the bus?”

As much as I wanted to dance around with happiness, I put on a halfway-decent poker face and said “Sure.” We got on the bus and sat down…and Pinkie followed us on.

“Aw come on, you can’t just leave a pony out alone in a place where she has no clue where anything is!” Pinkie said to Shelby and I. I saw a couple heads turn, and I saw a couple of the guys pinch themselves. I leaned down and whispered to Pinkie, “Sorry about that, but can you tell me why you’re gonna tag along to school with us? Think about it, you might embarrass us or get yourself into trouble.”

Pinkie was obviously not in a thinking mood and slammed her hoof on the bus floor. “Well you don’t have to be a meanie and walk away without telling me where you’re going!” She had a point…

“Pinkie,” Shelby whispered down to the pony, “school’s a pretty boring place. There’s almost no one smiling, there’s no baked goods…”

Shelby shot me a “play along, we can escape” wink and made a little production of looking around before she continued. “…And there are no parties.”

I went along with the act, making the biggest frown I could muster and nodded my head slowly. Pinkie just let out a huge gasp, sat on the floor and assumed what I assumed was a thinking pose.

“Your school sounds boring…” Pinkie Pie got a twinkle in her eye while I shot a “we failed” look over at Shelby. “…I think it needs a super-special, cheer-‘em-up mega-party!” Pinkie pulled out the saddlebag she was stuffing balloons into earlier and started to open it, but I harshly whispered “No.” The pink party pony looked a little dejected as she put the saddlebag over her back

“It’s not that we don’t want you to throw a party, Pinkie…it’d sure make school a lot more interesting.” Shelby put a hand on what I think was where a pony’s shoulder should be. “It’s just that I don’t think the people working at the school would appreciate a confetti bomb going off during fourth period.”

Pinkie raised her head, smirked and poked Shelby in the nose. “You silly-filly, these aren't confetti bombs," she said as she reached into her bag and produced several egg-sized rubber spheres with pins in the top. “They’re cake-batter grenades.”

I chuckled. “Not much better, the janitors would be even more ticked off if something like that happened.” I looked out the window and assessed our location, a minute or so from the school building. “Listen Pinkie, when we get to school, you need to lay low…stay somewhere you’ll be comfortable but you’d be out of sight to people that could see you.”

Pinkie Pie put on a serious saluted. “Okie-dokie-lokie!” This got a giggle out of Shelby and me because of how silly it looked. The bus stopped and the doors opened. Shelby and I got up and started walking while I continued to lay down the plan for the day. “Okay, I was thinking the cafeteria. That way you can get something to eat or drink if you get hungry.”

“Ooh, I’ve never been in a cafeteria before! What kind of food do they have? Cookies, chocolate bars, cupcakes?” Pinkie was obviously excited about going someplace with food, and I didn’t want to shatter her dreams with the reality of today’s lunch being mashed potatoes and green beans.

“We have chocolate milk-”

That was the only thing the sugar-craving pony needed to hear. She ran into the school building at speeds rivaling The Flash, Rainbow Dash and Sonic combined, leaving a pink blur-trail of where she had gone.

“…At least she’s out of our hair for the next couple of hours,” I said to Shelby. I think she retreated back to shy-town since she only nodded and walked ahead.

I walked to second-period Biology and sat down, half-listening to the conversations going on around me. It was mostly about school and home life issues, but I’d heard a couple of the football players talking about seeing an orange pony with a hat around the apple orchard to the south of the school. If Pinkie’s story is right, I guess it makes sense that Applejack and the others would be around, I guessed to myself as the intercom buzzed to life. Expecting to hear the secretary call someone to the office as usual, it was the principal. And he sounded beyond mad.

“Attention student body,” he began in a hiss, “there has been an incident in the cafeteria including 400 pounds of cake batter and 3 gallons of chocolate milk.” I swear my heart stopped beating as soon as "cake batter" was said. "Wonderful, Pinkie’s already messed something up," I muttered under my breath as the principal continued. “If anyone has information relating to this, I’m offering a week off from school if the information is reliable.” He managed to grunt out “Thank you” and practically slammed the intercom’s telephone back on the receiver.

After the intercom fell silent, the room went back to its normal random chatter while I sat tensed up in complete shock and disbelief. Eventually my muscles loosened up just enough to put my face against the desk and groan.

Today’s going to be one big headache…

In Which I Suffer Head Trauma

Author's Note:
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all associated characters, locations, etc. are property of Lauren Faust and Hasbro. I do not own these characters, nor do I claim to own them. Now then, continue on with your entertainment endeavors.

Overactive

A story by Mariorulez14

Chapter 2

By the time we got out for lunch during the fourth period, all I could focus on was getting to the cafeteria as fast as I could. Apparently Shelby was having the same thoughts, since she was booking it to the same destination. She got there a little faster than I did, and her eyes shot open as soon as she opened the doors leading into the cafeteria. After I caught up to her a few seconds later, I almost dislocated my jaw at the sight.

There was cake batter everywhere.

Despite the evidence of custodians that had obviously been there for hours (there were scores of Windex and 409 bottles thrown into a corner), there were huge splatters of pale-yellow cake batter and red frosting everywhere. Chocolate milk bottles were strewn about the floor, some unopened and some empty. By this time, most of the other students were standing wide-eyed and open-jawed at the mess, which as described shortly after as looking like someone threw a chocolate-covered Strawberry Shortcake into an open blender.

The first person to break the silence was Mr. Edrian, the principal. Half the people in the crowd, including Shelby and I, jumped when he used what he likes to call his “Principal Voice” - also known as Mr. Megaphone. “HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS WILL BE EATING IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL’S CAFETERIA TODAY. PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.” Mr. Edrian’s deep voice created a lot of static to come through the megaphone, causing a couple headaches and some of the Chess Club members to struggle with hearing for the next hour. The crowd started to move toward the next building, but I slipped through the doors of the high school cafeteria while Mr. Edrian wasn’t looking.

Making sure the room was clear of janitors, I tip-toed farther into the room. “Pinkie,” I said in a harsh whisper, “where are you!?” I went through the doors leading to the kitchen and found an unconscious Pinkie Pie covered in cake batter with a distended belly (filled with chocolate milk, I assumed). I tapped the cake-covered pony with my food, causing her to shake her back legs a little and roll to one side. That’s adorable…I feel bad I have to wake her up, I thought to myself as I started shaking Pinkie.

At that moment, I learned two very important things. The first thing is that cake batter gets your hands extremely sticky. The second thing is that you should probably avoid shaking Pinkie Pie awake.

I woke up a few minutes later halfway under the concessions table with a throbbing sensation on the left side of my head. Pinkie was standing over me with a jar of pickles that I assumed she was using in place of smelling salts. “I’m super-duper-extra sorry about that, Mr. Human!” I knew she meant well, but she immediately took to licking the cake batter off my hands, which felt both relieving and disgusting at the same time. As groggy as I was from getting kicked full-force by a hyperactive pony in a food coma, I didn’t object. After the cake batter on my hands was replaced with pony spit, I got up after a few tries and hobbled my way down to the nurse’s office. After seeing the giant bruise on my temple, she gave me some Advil and drove me home after phoning into Principal Edrian that I had a possible concussion.

My parents were both out of town on their third or so “honeymoon”, so the house was mine for the next couple days or so. I stumbled hazily around our house toward the kitchen, got myself some more Advil and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up a few hours later with Pinkie in my face again, although she was holding a plate of chocolate-chip-and-raisin cookies this time. I got that terrible feeling I’d have to clean the kitchen, but I took a couple of them anyway.

“I’m still really sorry about hitting you in the face back there…I twitch a lot in my sleep! I also twitch when something is going to happen, when people try to wake me up, when-” I shushed Pinkie and held my head, which was still sore despite the painkillers. She grinned sheepishly as she sat down on the couch next to me and ate the rest of the cookies.

“So I didn’t get your name, Mr. Human! We can’t be super-best friends if I don’t even know your name!” She extended a hoof to me in the fashion of a hand-shake. “I’m Pinkie Pie, and we’re going to be best friends!”

“Name’s Joel.” I just about took Pinkie’s hoof in my hand, but I jerked it back when I saw that there was a joy buzzer tied around her hoof. I shot her a playful scowl and wagged my finger at her while making a nanny-like “ah-ah-ah”. Pinkie giggled and went back into the kitchen for some more cookies, making me wonder exactly how many she made.

“So Pinkie Pie, I have a question.” Pinkie swallowed another plateful of cookies in one gulp and waited for me to ask. “How is it that we can interact with you and you can interact with the real world?”

Pinkie Pie stared at me blankly. “Whaddaya mean?”

“I’m talking about how the batter-bombs managed to make a physical mess and your hooves leaving me with a concussion.” I pointed to the bruised lump on my head as Pinkie put on a slight frown. “I’m not sure, Joey! Can I call you Joey? It’s more fun to say than ‘Joel’!” Pinkie obviously lost her train of thought as she started to think of “fun” ways to say my name. Note to self…if I meet Twilight, I have to ask her about it. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was almost 4, deciding that I’d get something to eat.

“Gonna get some food…” I trailed off, part of me still wanting to believe that Pinkie was just a figment of pure imagination. And yet, she was so real that I felt terrible about not getting her something to eat even though she was already on her fourth plate of cookies. “…you want anything, Pinkie?”

“Have any chimicherrychangas?”

“…Chimney-whats?”

“A chimicherrychanga! It’s like a chimichanga, only it has cherries instead of the normal stuff!” I was a little puzzled since chimichangas in my world had beef, and Pinkie Pie obviously didn’t eat meat due to her equine heritage. “I don’t think so, but we have some Drumsticks in the freezer.”

“You silly-filly, drumsticks are for making music!” Pinkie laughed, getting a few slobber-soaked crumbs on the glass coffee table. Sighing, I got up and walked over to the freezer, pulled out a Drumstick and showed it to the pink pony.

“This is a Drumstick. It’s like chocolate-covered ice cream.” I handed Pinkie the Drumstick, who took it and ate it all in one bite like she did with the cookies. She suddenly turned blue, muttered “brain-freeze” and fell over shivering; in a few seconds, however, she was back to her normal color and stacking assorted boxes lying around as stairs to get into the freezer. “Those are delicious! Fantastic! Wonderful! Pinkie-riffic! Got any more?” She started to lob frozen goods out of the freezer until she triumphantly held out the box of Drumsticks, which she took over to the couch and dug in.

Guess I’ll get myself some take-out and call it good then. Not getting dessert tonight, either way. I dialed the number for the local Panda Express, ordered a couple containers of noodles and some eggrolls and waited for the delivery guy. Strangely enough, I heard the doorbell go off just a few seconds after I hung up the phone.

Pinkie immediately looked up from the pile of wrappers she already accumulated from her Drumstick binge. “I’LL GET IT!” she yelled as she cheerfully bounced her way over to the door. I couldn’t see who it was since I was getting an ice pack for the sore spot on my temple starting to set back in, but I heard Pinkie squeal with delight and yell “JOEY! YOUR MAREFRIEND AND RARITY ARE HERE!”

At the mention of my “marefriend”, I winced a little since Pinkie just announced to Shelby I had feelings for her. “Tack on another thing to make this day a bother”, I said to myself as I got up to see Shelby and white pony with a curled purple mane being embraced by Pinkie Pie.

The pink pony took in a huge breath and proceeded to talk a mile a minute. “Rarityit’ssoawesometoseeyouIthoughtyougotlostintheweirdportalafterIjumpedinandcamehereandmetJoeyandhismarefriendand THANK CELESTIA YOU’RE OKAY!” She slumped down and immediately ran into the kitchen to do what sounded like more cookie-baking. Rarity seemed a little shell-shocked after being tackle-hugged by a sugar-fueled mare, but Shelby looked a little entertained by the spectacle as evidenced by the smile on her face. Rarity looked up to see Shelby’s face, huffed and messed with her hair.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr.….Joey, is it?”

“Name’s Joel, actually, Pinkie just calls me Joey.” I shrugged as Rarity continued. “Regardless, it’s a pleasure. Now if you could direct me to your facilities, I must brush this dreadful dust out of my mane!” I gave a motion down the hall and Rarity followed, the sound of running water emanating from the general direction moments later. I looked up at Shelby with a tired look and she responded with a confused one.

“Did…Pinkie call me your ‘marefriend’?”

“My concussion’s fine, thanks.” I said with a chuckle. I let her inside and we sat on the Drumstick wrapper-littered couch while I explained the current situation – what happened earlier in the cafeteria and the past hour’s events. Shelby giggled a little and blushed when I got to explaining how because Pinkie saw us together at the bus stop she assumed we were going out. “That’s a bit of a hasty assumption…” she said after I’d finished.

“Tell me about it. She wanted something called a ‘cheesy-chibi-changa’ for dinner.” I saw Pinkie stick her head out from the kitchen door, yell “Chimicherrychanga!” then go back to her baking. A few minutes later, a slightly-wet Rarity came from the hallway looking cleaner than when she arrived with Shelby.

“Ugh, how dreadful the cities are in the human world! I thought I’d never get that black muck out of my mane!” She held out her hoof, staring at it like it was about to eat her.

“We had a little incident with a puddle of oil on the way here…” Shelby sort of turned away and started making a nervous gesture of playing with her hair. It was kind of scary how quick she’d revert from being social to being…well, a Fluttershy, for lack of a better term. “Hey Ra-" I started to say, but then remembered something. This is Rarity you’re talking to, Joel. Show dignity and respect or she’ll feed you your own hands. I cleared my throat and started over. “Excuse me, Miss Rarity?”

“Yes, darling?” Rarity said from a cushion that belonged to our dog Greta when she wasn’t roaming the property behind our house.

“I was wondering if you’ve seen any of the other ponies. You know…Fluttershy and Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack.”

“I haven’t the slightest idea,” Rarity said thoughtfully. “One minute we’re all in Twilight’s library working on a teleportation spell, and the next moment I wake up in a dreadful-looking alleyway! I was covered in grime and filth...I looked like a mess!” Rarity said the last couple phrases in more of a hiss than actual talking. This was a pony that was a serious neat-freak.

“…I heard a couple of the girls on the track team say that they saw a pony giving a shoulder rub to a raccoon during their after-school practice…” Shelby said.

I thought back to before Mr. Edrian’s intercom announcement. “Come to think of it, I remember some of the football players saying they saw a hat-wearing pony bucking some of the apple trees in the orchard near the school…”

At this point, Pinkie Pie was walking into the room with several batches of blue-frosted cupcakes balanced on her head. She laid them out on the coffee table and ate a few, then said “Great, that means that everypony’s OK!” She gasped suddenly. “We should organize a search party! I’ve always wanted to have a search party! We’re gonna have a float that’s all decorated up with telescopes and maps and GEPDs* and missing posters!” She ran out of the room as she said “I’ll get started on the float!”

“Goodness, that pony has enough energy to wear us all out without breaking a sweat,” groaned Rarity as she reclined on her – err, Greta’s pillow. Shelby and I chuckled as a barking sound came from the back door.

I got up from the couch and started toward the barking. “Sounds like Greta’s back, I’ll let her in.” I opened the door to find not only Greta, but a yellow Pegasus pony with a pink mane.

“Um, excuse me…is this your doggie?” the shy pony asked.

“Fluttershy!” Both Rarity and Pinkie immediately went to hugging the frightened pony, whose expression quickly changed to a happy one. “Oh thank goodness, I thought I was the only pony that made it through the portal! Thankfully I had Greta here to lead me back to this house.” She blushed nervously when she saw Shelby and me, but Rarity gave her a soft pat on the back.

“Oh come now Fluttershy, don’t be afraid. Say hello to Joel and Shelby.” Fluttershy made a little whimper as she backed away from the door, but Pinkie was quick to intercept her.

“Yeah, Fluttershy,” Pinkie added, “Joey’s super-duper nice! He gave me lots of ice cream! Anypony that gives me lots of ice cream is A-OK in my book!”

“Uh…hi…I’m Fluttershy. Nice to meet you…” Her voice trailed off as she made eye contact with Shelby. Something about the two must have clicked, because the next minute they were sitting on the couch chatting away like they’d known each other for years.

“Pretty strange that two people as shy as them would warm up to each other so quickly,” I said as I walked back into the room with the containers of Chinese take-out. “Does anyone want some food? It’s Chinese.”

“I wonder where Chinesia is,” Pinkie asked herself out loud. She turned to me and asked, “Is it near Hayjing? Or is it closer to Tokyoak?” I let out a groan as I remembered that Equestria had some very punny names for the major cities on Earth.

“It’s from the Earth country of China…well, kind of. The food’s made here, in the United States.” I unsheathed my cutlery of choice – chopsticks – and began to take a bite when I heard a loud grumble that echoed through the room, even loud enough to stop the newly-acquainted chatterboxes sitting on the couch. Rarity turned a bright pink that almost matched Pinkie Pie’s coat as she let out a whimper.

“I’m dreadfully sorry, all…I suppose I’m feeling a bit peckish. Might I enquire the whereabouts of an eatery in the area?”

Second challenge of today, I thought to myself, feeding three imaginary cartoon horses. I picked up the phone book and called one of our neighbors that kept a few normal horses...you know, ones that didn't talk. “Hi, would it be alright for me to get some hay or some alfalfa? No, not for me…no questions please sir. I’m having a crazy day as it is…”

Footnote-
*GEPD stands for Global Equestrian Positioning Device.

Living with Ponies, Day 1

Overactive

A story by Mariorulez14

Chapter 3

After Mr. Gilbert, the neighbor I called about the hay and alfalfa, politely excused himself after getting a glimpse of three cartoon ponies from his daughter's favorite show, I left the food preparations to the ponies as Shelby and I ate the Chinese food I'd ordered...well, we attempted to. Fluttershy went stiff as a board after we mentioned “egg rolls”, so Shelby called in a pizza while I calmed Fluttershy down and assured her that there weren't any actual eggs in the egg rolls.

By the time she recovered, smoke started to billow out of the kitchen as Pinkie Pie and Rarity stumbled out, followed by what smelled like burning rubber. A few opened windows later, we figured out that Pinkie Pie tried to sauté one of my mom's prized plastic orchids that she usually puts on the table when the holidays or family come around. After apologies from the two coughing ponies, I trashed the plastic-infused pan and tried my best to hide the melted plant in the closet where it came from. Fluttershy and Shelby gave Greta a tick bath while Pinkie and I were on kitchen clean-up, with Rarity coming in afterward to give the dog a haircut and a little bit of styling; the fashionista assured me that my mom would think it was adorable, but I grumbled and went back to scraping plastic out of the frying pans.

Shelby got a call from her parents to come home to dinner as Pinkie sent her home with a box of fresh cookies (it must have been like the 50th batch of cookies she'd made since getting to my house) and I introduced them to what I described as “America's national sport”-watching television. Fluttershy took a liking to watching Wild Kingdom and Pinkie was completely enthralled by Ace of Cakes, while Rarity took to my parent's room to watch America's Next Top Model (which, she informed me, has an Equestrian counterpart called Equestria's Most Fabulous Mare). By 8:30, all 3 mares were asleep – Fluttershy was snuggled with Greta on the pillow, Pinkie Pie was snoring under a blanket of chocolate-smeared paper plates while Rarity claimed my parents' queen-sized bed all to herself. I shut off the TV in the living room and went up to my own bedroom, where I took a few Advil to calm down the sore spot on my head and fell straight asleep.

I had my second rude awakening of the week as I was woken up by our smoke alarm. And I'm notorious in my family for waking up panicked when an alarm goes off.

I ran as fast as I could into the living room yelling “Fire! Everypony out!” I looked around the house to see that there was a distinct lack of smoke, just an extremely frazzled-looking Pinkie Pie holding her left hoof. She saw me and immediately pointed at our smoke detector. “Joey, your buzzer-madoodle shocked me! And not in the good, funny joy-buzzer type of shock...the kind that hurt!”

I could hear Rarity groan and start whining loudly about her beauty sleep from my parent's room and found Fluttershy consoling a scared Greta. Our large, rust-colored Irish Setter looked intimidating at first glance (she was half as tall as my 5'-8” father) but she was really just a big softie that was showed a lot of affection and got scared easily – especially when my mom felt the necessity to run loud things such as the garbage disposal. As Rarity got closer, I could hear her hooves literally slamming against our hardwood floor as she angrily made her way to Pinkie Pie, who had her hoof in her mouth in an attempt to soothe the burn she had carelessly received.

“Pinkie, must you make such an obnoxious racket?” Rarity's murderous expression softened up a bit as I explained what happened with Pinkie and the smoke alarm. “Well,” she said at last, “a small burn's no excuse for waking me from a wonderful dream. I was about to be awarded the best designer in all of Canterlot!”

Rarity excused herself to the bathroom to “freshen up” as Fluttershy came back in with Greta. “I'm not sure what you humans feed your dogs here...what do you feed them?” I juggled ways to let it down as gently as I could to her, since dogs here ate meat as a main diet. “Well...um...they kind of eat meat. Like, cow and turkey...that kind of thing.” Fluttershy just kind of gulped as she left me to feeding Greta her breakfast, probably not feeling up to opening a can of an innocent animal's flesh and watching a sweet dog like Greta devour it like, well, an animal. Afterward, I left Greta to her duties outdoors.

As I watched Fluttershy sit down on the couch next to a still-sleeping Pinkie Pie, I thought back to her cottage back in Ponyville. Being in another dimension and everything was probably freaking her out, seeing as there wasn't anyone to watch over the animals that were usually her responsibility like Angel Bunny or Sir Roostington. And that gave me an idea. “Hey Fluttershy...do you think the animals back in Ponyville are doing OK?” I asked the yellow pony, who just looked at me with those sad teal eyes. “Oh yes, I'm worried that they're getting hurt or not eating enough with no one there to watch over them...”

I grabbed a slip of paper out of a kitchen drawer that advertised a petting zoo that had opened downtown a few months before and showed it to Fluttershy. “Here on Earth, we have things called 'petting zoos'. It's mostly farm animals, but they walk around freely and human kids can feed them and pet them. I was thinking it'd be something that you can do while you're here-” I was cut off as Fluttershy quickly got up with a smile on her face and walked towards the door. Kind of scary how quick she can cycle through emotion, yeesh, I thought as I watched the pegasus pony take flight in search of the city's petting zoo.

I picked up a couple of the paper plates littering the couch (being careful to not to wake up Pinkie as I remembered yesterday's hoof-to-the-face), threw them in the garbage and decided to call my parents and let them know about how the my days were due to a request they made before they left; my mom even left a note on the refrigerator that read: Call us every day honey <3. As I dialed my mom's cell number, I tried to decide whether or not I should drop the news about the cartoon ponies living in our house. “They'll either take me to a doctor or think I'm joking and laugh”, I thought out loud as I heard my mom's cell phone ringing.

...Wait, my mom's cell phone?

Oh God, they're home, I thought as I heard the front door click open.

“Oooh, we missed you baby!” My mom began her motherly love-assault and had me in a bear hug as my dad laughed. “Gotta admit Joel, you kept the place real clean,” he chuckled to himself, “maybe we should leave you here alone more often.”

I laughed nervously. There was a pink mare on the couch and a white one in my parents' bathroom. I thought about my dad and his ability to tell wild stories to children at the work parties he often attended and my mom's landscaping career, where she was basically required to have an imagination. What will they do if they see characters from a show for girls in the house? I thought as my mom looked worriedly at the bruise on my left temple.

“What happened to your head, Joel?” she asked as she went to get an ice pack, even though it didn't hurt as much as yesterday. “Um...I slipped and fell helping out in the school cafeteria...” I lied, taking the ice pack from my mom as she lead me to the couch. I scooted a bit to the side to avoid my mom sitting me down on top of the still-sleeping Pinkie as she looked me in the eye. “Joel, you should have called,” she said softly. “At least you're OK, son...it looks more like a horse kicked you in the face,” my dad called from the doorway hauling a full set of luggage from our van.

“Sorry mom, I should have...but why are you home so early? Weren't you going on a cruise or something?” My dad, who was headed down the hallway toward their room, set down what he was carrying and told me about how the ship's windows were blown out by a sonic boom, despite the fact that there were no supersonic aircraft flying in the area. The cruise would have to be rescheduled as they called in a new boat.

“And there's the last one...” I said under my breath. Rainbow Dash blew out a cruise ship's windows and my parents took a plane over 1,000 miles to the coast to get on that cruise ship. She could be anywhere if she was flying that fast...

“What, Joel?” My mom kind of tilted her head as I remembered she was sitting right there.

“Oh, it's nothing...” Hopefully.

“Well, I'm gonna take these into the room, honey.” My dad grunted as me picked up half the luggage and started toward the room. I suddenly heard Rarity squeal out of fear as she galloped down the hallway and into the kitchen, probably intimidated by my dad (he was more than a foot taller than I was, so I didn't blame her). I could tell my dad couldn't see Rarity, since he was humming a tune to himself as he other half of their bags and brought them into their bedroom. I heard her yell something about “brutes invading her privacy” and a few dishes and cups clack together, getting a facial reaction from my mom, who went to investigate.

At this point, Pinkie Pie was starting to wake up and I reflexively shot up out of my current seat as the party pony stretched her legs. She sat upright as I sat back down and she instantly went from looking tired to her usual, hyperactive self as she bounced past my mom and into the kitchen.

“That was weird, I could have sworn I heard someone getting into the dishes...” she said to herself as she walked toward the restroom.

It was around 10 AM when I saw Rarity again. Her purple mane was matted and she still looked a little unsettled about her encounter with my dad, but she sat herself on Greta's pillow and gave me a stare that rivaled Fluttershy's.

“I was not informed that there were going to be bigger humans arriving in your home,” she huffed as she worked on getting her mane to her previous state. “They're my parents, they live here. It's not like I can move out, I don't even have a job...” I gave Rarity a bit of a peeved glance as I went into my room, got dressed and brushed my teeth as I smelled my dad frying bacon in the kitchen.

Bacon's a great breakfast choice when there are horses in the house, dad, I thought. Then again, he didn't exactly know about them, so he had the Benefit of the Doubt. I heard the TV switch on, breaking me out of my thoughtful state and told myself It's just Pinkie Pie...probably looking for more Ace of Cakes to watch or something.

“Last time...” I heard Kyle Hebert's voice come from the living room and my eyes shot open.

“Oh good God,” I said out loud.

“Pinkie Pie just discovered Dragon Ball Z."

Living with Ponies, Day 2

Overactive

A story by Mariorulez14

Chapter 4

“Wow, why hasn't anypony ever thought of stories like that before?” Pinkie Pie was obviously excited by the adventures of Goku and his companions. She hopped off the couch, got up on her hind legs and assumed the starting stance of the Kamehameha Wave. “It'd be spectacular if I could shoot cupcakes out of my hooves...I'd sure make parties more interesting!” she said with a giggle. I couldn't help but laugh as the hyperactive mare completed the motions...she even added “Kamehameha!”

I turned off the TV as my mom came out of her room wearing her landscaper's uniform, grabbed a breakfast sandwich my dad made for her and left after giving my dad and I a kiss. “Breakfast's ready, Joel,” he said as he grabbed two plates and began to fill them with pancakes eggs and bacon. Probably a good thing that Fluttershy's at the petting zoo, I thought as I sat down at our kitchen table. My mouth started watering a I thought of my dad's “special” pancakes – fluffy, with a hint of vanilla and cinnamon. I went to the refrigerator to grab the syrup and turned around to see two hungy-looking ponies that had taken up places at the table next to the chairs my dad and I usually sat in.

“Oh goody, I'm always in the mood for a food pancake,” Pinkie said as she took a deep breath in through her nose and let out a satisfied sigh.

“Ooh, is that cinnamon I smell? Your father must be an excellent cook.” Rarity looked as eager as Pinkie was to dig into the pancakes as my dad set the plate in front of me.

“Any extra, dad?” I asked him as he took a bite, completely oblivious to the existence of two peckish ponies who had joined us at the table. He swallowed and said, “Of course, I always make enough for seconds...you've been living here long enough to know your old man!”

As my dad took another bite, I gave a not to Rarity and Pinkie, who understood and trotted over to the stove, helping themselves to the surplus of pancakes as my dad and I cleared our plates. Rarity sniffed a bit as she saw the eggs and sausage, probably thinking something like “barbarians, how do they eat that?”

My dad and I finished and cleaned up the dishes, but my dad was a little confused when it came to how fast the pancakes he made disappeared. “I could have sworn I made more than we ate...”

“Hey girls, I think we should go and check on Fluttershy.” I put on my Tigers hoodie and started towards the door, only to be stopped by Rarity.

“Darling, if were going out into that awful place you call a city, I have some preparations to make.” Rarity took to mumbling a list of “necessities” as Pinkie came up from behind me, making me jump at her sudden appearance.

“Do we have to wait for Rarity, Joey? Everypony knows she takes forever to get ready to go places!” She flashed me a sad look with those crystal-blue eyes and I looked back at Rarity, who was filling her saddlebags to bursting with assorted cleaners and makeups.

“...fine, we'll go. Just be quiet on the way out.” She nodded and quietly bounced out the door. I followed close behind, closing the door with a soft *click*.

“So where to, Joey,” the party pony asked, “find everypony else or go see Fluttershy first? Oooh, or maybe we could meet up with Fluttershy and then go look for the others!” She somehow clapper her front hooves together while still bouncing up and down.

Just one more thing to add to my list of unexplained Pinkie phenomena...

Pinkie and I arrived at the petting zoo in about fifteen minutes, mainly because I was sprinting every which way to keep the mare, who was weaving effortlessly through pedestrians, streets and alleyways with expertise despite not having been in this part of the city. My lungs felt like fire as I finally caught up to Pinkie Pie, who was finding it hard to stay still...or at least more still than usual.

“Hurry up, Joey! Hurry, hurry, hurry!”

“Okay...okay, just...gimme a sec...”

I leaned up against the admissions shack to catch my breath as I saw a group of kindergarten-age girls catch sight of Pinkie and started to charge her. They were stopped by their leader, either their mom or a teacher, and were scolded for running off; Pinkie, however, didn't notice the girls as she was focused on getting me into the petting zoo as fast as she could.

I fished around for a couple $1 bills in my pocket, paid for my ticket and entered the petting zoo with Pinkie Pie, who was already on the lookout for her yellow pegasus friend.

“FLUTTERSHY, WHERE ARE YOU!?” Pinkie Pie yelled, leaving a pony-shaped dust cloud next to me and pink blurs in the wake of her search...as well as drawing a lot of looks from kids and adults around the area.

“Darn it, you crazy mare...stop!” As much as I wanted to sit there and wait for her, I ran after Pinkie. The pink pony was searching every nook and cranny for her friend – under rocks, in trees, you name it – until we got to the chicken enclosure. I chuckled a bit as I remembered Scootaloo as Pinkie gasped from somewhere in the area.

I found Pinkie a little ways away embracing a sobbing Fluttershy, who was in turn embracing a very flustered Rhode Island Red. “I miss them...” the pegasus said between sobs, “...so much...”

I knelt down by Fluttershy and joined in the emotional group hug. “I bet you do,” I said, patting her on the back, “and I bet they miss you just as much.”

Pinkie produced a handkerchief out of her saddlebag, handed it to Fluttershy and underwent an emotional u-turn. “I know just what'll cheer you up,” she said as she started rummaging through her saddlebags and producing a picture of Fluttershy and her many chickens she kept back in Equestria.

“I know how much you miss your animals whenever we go really far from Ponyville,” Pinkie Pie said, holding the picture closer to the crying pegasus, “and I remember you giving this to me before we left! You know, in case...this happened.”

Fluttershy took the picture from her friend and dried her eyes with Pinkie's handkerchief. “T-thanks, Pinkie...I don't know what anypony in Ponyville would do if you weren't there to cheer us up when we felt sad...”

Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy started to hug it out again as my eyes stayed totally dry. Nope, not a tear in them...

...Who am I kidding, I had tears rolling down my cheeks as much as the two mares did.

After the ponies were done comforting each other (and me), we set out in search of the three Equestrian mares that were still missing. I told Pinkie and Rarity about what I already knew – about Rainbow Dash and the cruise ship and Applejack possibly being at the orchard near the school. “So that just leaves Twilight...I hope she's not hurt,” Fluttershy said with a worried expression on her face.

“Cheer up, Fluttershy, I bet she's just fine! She could be right under our noses for all we know!” Pinkie Pie let out a laugh as she beeped her own snout with a hoof.

All of a sudden, it looked like I was enveloped in a miniature Big Bang as I was knocked off my feet and blinded for a bit. I could hear the other two ponies chattering excitedly as I blinked an assault of purple spots out of my vision.

...Wait, purple spots?

I rubbed my eyes a little and saw the hazy image of a lavender unicorn, looking both frantic and exhausted as she was being double-teamed by my pony companions. As my vision came more into focus, I saw that it was none other than Twilight Sparkle. Looks like Pinkie was right about the whole “under our noses thing, I thought, my eyes finally yielding a clear picture of the new pony. She's so random, but still...wow.

Pinkie looked at me with a smile so wide it looked like her face would split in two. “Joey, we found Twilight!”

“More like she found us,” Rarity and I said in unison as Twilight pushed herself away from the pink pony clinging to her and putting on a dead-serious face.

“I know everypony's excited to see me, but we've got a big problem. Applejack is in trouble!”

Saving Private Apple(jack)

Overactive

A story by Mariorulez14

Chapter 5

Personally, I thought I'd already done my fair share of running around for the day. These ponies, however, didn't seem to care.

It's not like I'm out of shape or anything, I'm actually pretty thin and can hold my own when it comes to lifting. It's just that I have a huge problem with stamina and I'm usually out of breath after the first couple minutes of straight sprinting. I didn't really have a choice on whether I wanted to quit or not though, since I was trying to keep not just a sugar-fueled pink mare in my sight, but a yellow pegasus and a lavender unicorn as well. Heck, even Twilight and Fluttershy looked like they were having a hard time keeping up with Pinkie.

Twilight looked back at me and I saw her horn swallowed by a purplish glow as I felt myself being lifted up off the ground and pulled up to pace with her and Fluttershy. The unicorn mare faltered a bit after I hit the ground running and the magic stopped, but the pegasus grabbed her hoof and helped her along. A few yards ahead of us, Pinkie was pulling a repeat of our trip to the petting zoo, weaving in and out of pedestrians, down alleyways and across streets without paying any heed to her surroundings...or us for that matter.

We came to a stop at the school, closed and locked up due to the weekend. Twilight immediately fell to the ground panting and I did the same, both of us trying to catch our breath as quickly as possible before Pinkie Pie dashed off again. Fluttershy was trying to calm down the party pony, whose eyes darted around worriedly in hopes of catching a glimpse of their missing friend.

“Pinkie, we can't rush anymore...Twilight's exhausted from her magic and running around following you and so is Joel. Somepony might get hurt if we try and go farther right now.”

“But Fluttershy,” Pinkie snapped in a tone that I hadn't heard her in since I met her, “Applejack's out there hurt somewhere and we're sitting here on our flanks! She could be in a lot of trouble!” Pinkie's entire body started twitching as she said this, signaling that there was a “Doozy” in store in terms of her Pinkie Sense...as well as getting a wary look from Twilight, who was probably still paranoid about her first run-in with Pinkie's strange ability.

After a few minutes, Twilight and I got up and started southward toward Agnes Chaser's Fruit Orchards, located a few minutes' walk away from the school. Agnes Chaser's was an orchard that had been around since my great-grandpa moved to Edgarton, my home town, over 100 years ago. It was a huge expanse of apple, pecan, almond, orange, cherry and pear trees that the cross-country runners and football players often used for shade (and a quick snack) during their practice sessions during the late summer. The owners of the orchard, who were descendents of the orchard's namesake, offered not only free roaming of the land but field days to the elementary school and picking what you wanted for a fee on the weekends. Not only did it remind me of Sweet Apple Acres, but it was the absolute perfect place to find a pony whose special talent was bucking fruit off of trees, especially since an entire three-fifths of the orchard was dedicated to apples.

The ponies and I entered the orchard as Pinkie Pie began shaking again, signaling that The Doozy hadn't subsided. All the while, I was trying to sort through all the possible scenarios in my head. Did Applejack vanish into thin air? Did she get attacked by some kind of animal? Was she sick? There was a lot running through my head when Fluttershy let out a gasp and ran a couple yards ahead of us. I could see that there was a tipped bucket of apples next to a fallen apple tree. Lying next to the bucket with an agonized look on her face was an orange pony wearing a western-style hat who had a back leg smashed under the wide trunk of the tree.

“Fluttershy, yer alright...that's good to know...” the pony said in a Southern drawl. She tried propped herself up a couple inches, but fell back onto her belly after letting out a pained yelp.

“Oh no, Applejack!” Pinkie Pie dashed forward and immediately set out trying to force the log off of Applejack with a headbutt, but Twilight caught hold of her with her magic and moved her back a few feet. “I wouldn't try that Pinkie, you might end up hurting Applejack more than she already is.”

I walked up to the tree and crouched down to take a look at the break between the stump and the trunk. “What happened? It looks like someone crashed a truck into it!”

Applejack looked a little embarrassed at the mention of the tree as she forced out a chuckle. “I guess ah was buckin' a little too hard...lemme tell ya, apple trees in this world're sure a lot weaker 'n the ones back at Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Well first things first,” I said, standing back up, “we have to find a way to lever the tree up and get you out.”

“Joel, don't you think you're rushing this a bit?” Twilight said. “For goodness' sake, you haven't even introduced yourself!”

I think I might have blushed a bit, seeing as I was so caught up in getting Applejack free and cared for took priority over telling her who I was. “Erm, yeah...my name's Joel. I'm kind of a fan of your...” I stopped to choose my last word carefully; Pinkie Pie might be aware that they're from a cartoon, but the other ponies might not. “...dimension. Too hurt to shake hands, um, hooves?”

“Nah, I can manage.” Applejack stuck her hoof up and I grabbed it. All of a sudden, it felt like I set my hand on a washing machine strapped to a mechanical bull as the orange pony started to shake my hand with more force that I anticipated. As much as I wanted to scream Oh God, please stop before you tear off my arm!, I smiled and braced for possible limb loss.

“Name's Applejack. Pleasure 'ta meet'cha.”

The pony relinquished rights to my arm, which I let limply dangle at my side until the feeling came back. I looked over at Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, who looked like they were both deep in thought about how to solve the dilemma at hand. I heard footsteps behind us as I turned back to Twilight, who I thought was pacing, but she looked as surprised as I did at the sound. I did a one-eighty and came eye-to-eye to Shelby, who was carrying with her a car jack and some ropes. We both looked at each other in surprise.

“Um...hi.” I said after a few seconds.

Yep, that's me. Smooth-talking extraordinaire.

Shelby wedged the car jack under the tree trunk about a foot from Applejack's trapped leg as Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie and I tied ropes around nearby trees (I'm not exactly sure how Pinkie and Fluttershy tied their knots, but hey, they got the job done). After all the ropes were secured, Shelby let us in on the plan. “Pinkie Pie, you're going to pump the jack to raise the log.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie Pie saluted and took her position.

“Applejack, when you think you can get out, give us a yell.”

“Can do,” said Applejack.

“Everyone else, we're going to untie the ropes. When we're all ready, we're going to pull the ropes to reduce the slack and re-tie them once Applejack has enough room to get her legs free.”

At this point, I could tell that she was dead-serious about what we were about to do. She had that “I'm-giving-the-orders-here-and-no-one-tests-them” look in her eyes that made you want to do what she was telling you out of the fear she'd hurt you later. The rest of the ponies, Shelby and I got into position, untied the ropes and waited for her to give the signal.

“...Now!”

Pinkie immediately set to work on the jack, bouncing casually up and down on the lever. The tree started to lift off the ground, inch by inch, as Twilight, Fluttershy and I pulled our ropes in pace with the steadily-rising tree. The pink mare picked up bouncing speed and the tree let out a few creaks and cracks as it started rising faster.

“Pinkie, slow down! You might break the tree going that fast!” Shelby yelled.

Pinkie stopped and looked over her shoulder, blushing. “Sorry!” She went back to her original bouncing speed, but by that point she didn't really need to. The jack was only halfway extended, but the log was levered up far enough as evidenced by Applejack's yell of “I think ah can git out!”

We tied up our ropes as Pinkie hopped off the jack lever and started to help Applejack out from where the tree trunk used to be and gave offered her shoulder for support, which was accepted. The orange mare's leg was swelled and discolored a slight purple, indicating that it was broken. If not worse...

“Thank ya' kindly, everypony...” Applejack let out a sigh of relief.

“Not a problem, AJ! Friends have to look out for each other! Now let's get you back to Joey's house so that you can see Rarity! We still don't know where Dashie is, but I'm sure we'll find her soon!” Pinkie smiled at her friend, who chuckled. “...Glad to see you too, Pinkie.”

We all laughed as we began to head back to my place, but then I remembered something.

Pinkie and I ditched Rarity. She's going to be royally pissed.

“Of all the things that you could have done, you left me here with that thing you call a father!” Rarity was a whole shade of red away from her usual alabaster composure and I swear she had steam coming out of her nostrils.

Rarity apparently had a rough couple of hours. Being a Saturday in fall, I completely spaced out that when no one was home my dad invited some of his friends from work over to watch college football before they went out to “play some golf”, as my dad says (my mom and I both knew that he was working overtime to get some extra money, but we played along).

“It was dreadful! Your father and a lot of other humans were drinking soda and eating chips, making a mess of the place, staring that the television and yelling at other humans who were playing some awful sport dealing with tackling each other over a ball! It was barbaric, the concept of that game. They had people being taken to the hospital every few minutes!”

“Football.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“It was my dad and some of his work buddies watching football,” I explained. “Well, American football. Football in other countries is a sport we call 'soccer'. And yeah, you have to excuse my dad...he knows how to throw a football party, no matter how small.”

Pinkie ran in with a Ziploc bag full of ice that she handed to Fluttershy, who was attending to the injured Applejack. “Your dad sounds like the kind of human I'd like to meet, Joey! Parties about a game?”

“You should have come a couple months later, you would have seen his annual Super Bowl party.” Pinkie just about fainted with the mention of the words “super” and “party” used in the same sentence, getting a laugh out of Shelby.

“Well I don't care what you call it, Joel, I'm still furious with you. I insist that you never leave me alone again or I might do something drastic!”

I thought back to a previous thought about her feeding me my own hands and nodded in agreement.

Applejack must have seen me and turned her head in my direction. “That's just another of Rarity's empty threats, Joel. Don't sweat it, she's got plenty of 'em.” Rarity let out a “hmph” and turned away, settling in on a few pillows from my mom's closet.

After Rarity appeared to have mentally isolated herself from the rest of us, Shelby explained what had happened in the past day. She found Applejack bucking apples at Agnes Chaser's on the way back from my house and she invited the pony to stay at her house. Applejack had gone out to buck apples earlier, after which Shelby found her stuck under the tree while going to check on her.

“Heh, yeah...if it wasn't fer her, I'd prob'ly still be stuck under that ol' tree!” Applejack tried to sit up and give Shelby a hoof-bump, but winced in pain and laid back down.

“Don't move too much, Applejack, or the splint won't settle right.” Fluttershy hadn't taken her eyes off of her friend's hurt leg for a second since we got her laid out on the couch, treating it with all the love and care she would have if it were one of the animals she took care of regularly.

“Oh, alright Fluttershy, I guess yer the doctor here.” Applejack settled back into her original position as Pinkie Pie came back in from the kitchen, turned on the TV and started to find something to watch.

“Joel, I'm amazed at the technology here on Earth!” Twilight was coming up the hall from my parents' room. “Boxes made of plastic and glass that show pictures? What do you call them?”

“Televisions! Also TVs, tubes, idiot boxes, picture boxes or tellies!” the party pony chirped from her position in front of the living room TV, finally stopping on Food Network's Good Eats.

“I'm...fine with calling it 'television'. I have to do more observational studies on it though, I found an interesting bit about the animals on Earth.”

“Wild Kingdom or Planet Earth?” Fluttershy mumbled while wrapping the makeshift ice pack to Applejack's shin.

“You too, Fluttershy?” The lavender unicorn looked shocked. “Am I the only pony who didn't know about television?”

“Prob'ly,” Applejack said. “Saw a little of a show called Swamp People at Shelby's place 'fore mah accident...interestin' stuff. Buncha humans out 'n the water, wrestlin' alligators.”

Rarity re-adjusted herself and looked over at Twilight “I've taken to watching America's Next Top Model and Toddlers in Tiaras myself.”

Twilight just stood there for a while with a look on her face that was somewhere between angry, confused and interested. She eventually trotted over and took a seat next to Pinkie Pie, who was watching intently as Alton Brown talked about the history of Indian curry.

My mom got home from work around 7 that night. The first thing I heard was the sound of a few full paper bags hitting the ground in the kitchen. My first thoughts went to dinner as I walked down the stairs to ask her what she was making, but my thoughts went elsewhere when I saw my mom with her hands over her mouth, eyes wide in shock. I didn't even need to ask her what was the matter or follow her gaze to figure out what was wrong.

My mom was staring straight at the sleeping ponies situated around the living room.

My mom's eyes darted back and forth from the ponies back to me. After what felt like a half-hour of staring at each other, she quietly said “What are those?”

At that moment, my brain found the absolute most clever thing I could have said in the situation.

“Your imagination."