How Trixie stole Christmas

by Pinkie Pool

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Trixie, Comedy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1839

Self-explanatory title. Equestria doesn't have Christmas? So what!? This is a fic for teh lulz. Don't take it seriously.

Trixie is tired of Christmas and... Wait, why am I explaining this? Almost everyone knows how this story goes. Trixie is Grinch. Fic made for teh lulz. Don't overthink it. Inspired by "How Akuma stole Christmas" (look it up on YT), which is in turn inspired by "How the Grinch stole Christmas"

Published 2013-12-26 07:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-26 07:10:03 UTC

One-shot

How Trixie stole Christmas

Everypony in Ponyville
liked Christmas a lot.
But the blue unicorn outcast
from Canterlot did not.

Trixie hated Christmas,
the whole Christmas season.
Even writers at fimfiction
didn't quite know the reason.
It could be that her horn
was glowing too bright.
It could be, perhaps,
that her hat was too tight.
But I believe that
the most likely reason of all
may have been that her Cutie Mark
was two sizes too small.

But regardless of the reason,
mark, horn or her hat,
she disliked Christmas and every fan
wether pony or cat.
Watching from her cart in the forest
with an angry, meanie frown
at the pony palette swaps
that lived in the town.
For she knew everypony
at the town far away
was busy coming and going
buying gifts for that day.

"They're just wasting their bits"
She muttered with malice.
"And tomorrow they'll celebrate
in Canterlot's palace!"
Then she growled
and she felt the grinding of her jaw.
"Trixie MUST stop Christmas!
And soon Twilight before me will bow!"
For, tomorrow she knew...

All the Ponyville's fillies and colts
would rush for their toys faster
than even the Wonderbolts.
And then, oh the noise! The Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
Like Rarity's annoying laughing. The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Candies and supplies
for Pinkie and the Cakes.
For Lyra and Bon Bon
a surprise for their dates.
For Big Mac a replacement
of Smarty Pants, the doll.
And for Celestia, the princess,
even more ways to troll.

And THEN
They'do do something that made her fume!
Everypony from the big alicorns
to the small Silver Spoon,
would stand close together,
with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand all together,
and the fools would start singing.

Then she'd talk! And she'd talk!
And she'd TALK! TALK! TALK! TALK!
And the more Trixie thought of Pinkie's endless rambling
the more she thought: "Trixie must stop that foolish fool's blabbering!"
"The Great and Powerful Trixie won't put up with this now!"
"Trixie must stop Christmas from coming... But how?"

Then she got an idea!
An awful idea!
Trixie got a chaotically awful,
anti-harmonious idea!

"I know just what to do!"
And for Trixie it was no test.
She quickly casted a Santa Clops
hat, coat and vest.
"With this Santa Clops outfit,
their joy I will thrash."
"The Great and Powerful Trixie
will crush Christmas in a flash."
"Now all I need is a reindeer..."
Now they should be abound
But since her presence scared them
there were no reindeers around.

Did that stop old Trix? "No!"
Yelled the mare whose mark had a moon.
"This will not stop Trixie!
I am no mere buffoon."
And her determination
not for a second fell.
"If I can't find a reindeer
Trixie will get one with a spell."

She tried to appear one,
but she only got Winona, the dog
whose disappearance went unnoticed
due to the winter fog.
Trixie tried some hypnotic spell,
but that didn't work
for as we all know,
Trixie can be such a dork.
After facehoofing
due to this awkward moment
she came up with something
that would spare them both future torment.
After bribing Winona
with a toy and some treats,
Trixie could now perform
her mischievous feats.
Trixie took the dog,
a horn and rubber band.
She tied everything
on top of her stand.

THEN
She loaded some bags
and the dog in her cart.
She had to move faster
than a Mach 10... dart.
Then Trixie said "Go!"
and she impulsed it with magic.
She was heading to Ponyville
to perform something tragic.

All the windows were dark.
Quiet snow filled the stage.
Everypony was sleeping
til a new day and page.
Then she reached the first house
in the square...

"This is stop number one", the wicked
Santa Clops hissed,
and she floated to the roof. "You will pay
for getting me dissed."

Then she slid down the chimney
with little to no space.
But Santa made it look easy
cuz it was more difficult than a maze.
She got stuck only once
for a moment or two.
But then she just teleported
out of the fireplace flue.
She found herself in Rarity's boutique
with stockings hung in a row.
"Fabulous my flank! Those stockings are ugly,
and they'll be the first things to go."

Then she started her magic
with a look that was evil.
She took everything in the building,
even the smallest needle.
Exotic fabrics! Precious jewels!
Even what was meant for little Belle!
She was stealing even bread crumbs
as far as anypony could tell!
She stuffed all in bags,
and with firm concentration,
she moved everything to her cart,
sealing that way their damnation.

She performed this task
with overwhelming glee.
"And now..." whispered the Christmas thief,
"I will blast this cursed tree!"

She despised trees the most
since she thought they were silly.
But she heard a small sound
of a young little filly.
She turned around quickly,
and she saw a small soul.
The young Sweetie Belle,
who was out for a stroll.

Trixie had been caught
by Rarity's sister.
"What do you need, little filly?"
The fake Santa asked her.
Sweetie stared wide-eyed and said...
"Santa Clops, why?
Why are you taking our tree?
WHY!?"

Trixie needed a lie,
so she gave it a shot.
Good thing for her was that she
could make up things on the spot.
"There's a light here, little filly,
that refuses to shine."
"I'll take it to my workshop,
and I'll leave it just fine."
Sweetie checked the tree,
but she found nothing wrong.
Then she noticed the reason
for that bad feeling that was strong.
"You're that meanie Trixie!"
Sweetie Belle exclaimed with a shout,
and Trixie used a spell in a panic
to knock her lights out.

She blasted the tree
through the chimney to the roof.
And with a flash of her horn,
she was gone with a poof.
She took everything there,
leaving empty this house.
And the one speck of food left
couldn't even feed a mouse.

Then she went to other homes,
and she was a fast bandit.
Even Fluttershy became a victim
despite the watch of her rabbit.

The new dawn was coming,
everypony still in bed...
All except for one Trixie
moving her improvised sled.
Her cart full of stuff
like Doctor Whooves' instruments,
Derpy's basket with muffins
and all kinds of presents.

They were on top of a mountain,
high by hundreds of feet
From Trixie's cold and Winona's acrophobia
they were both crackling their teeth.
"Time for those fools to pay."
Trixie was evilly humming.
"They're about to find out
that no Christmas is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two."
"Then those foolish ponies will all cry BOO-HOO!"

"Now, that's a noise", she muttered
"that I can't wait to hear!"
So she took a moment
to put a hoof to her ear.
She did hear a sound
from the town covered in snow.
At first it was low, then it started to grow...

But it was far from being sad!
Why, they all sounded glad!
It couldn't be so!
They were all joyful
like there was nothing bad!
She looked down at Ponyville
and narrowed her eyes.
Then she shook.
For she was greeted
by a shocking surprise!

Everypony from Big Mac
to the small Applebloom.
They were all singing!
There was no such doom!
She FAILED to stop Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other,
it came just the same!

And Trixie, with hooves
that were now buried and cold,
she stood puzzling and puzzling:
"How could such joy unfold?"
"They should be worried.
They should be mad!
They should be upset
or at least a bit sad!"

And she puzzled for hours,
and a few seconds more.
Then the unicorn thought of something
she hadn't considered before.
"Maybe Christmas..."
She said free of all madness.
"Perhaps it's not about gifts,
but about good and kindness..."

But the touching realization
was soon interrupted,
for Trixie felt the presence
of creatures twice as corrupted.
She saw Queen Chrysalis
followed by her Changeling crew.
And behind them was Discord
who was drinking some brew.
"I know who you are.
What are you doing here?"
Trixie had to put up a tough act.
She couldn't show any fear.
"The love poured into these presents
will feed my subjects for ages.
Step aside, little pony. I am
more powerful than mere mages!"

The Queen was powerful,
that much Trixie admitted.
She was also curious as to why
by Discord she was assisted.
"What about you, spirit of Chaos?"
Sheasked while holding her hat.
"I was bored and this is fun.
It's all simple as that!"
Despite that silly answer,
she had to stop all these thieves.
"I don't care what it takes...
YOU ARE NOT TAKING THESE GIFTS!!!"

And what happened then?
Well... In Equestria they say
that Trixie's Cutie Mark and power levels
grew three times that day.
All thanks to the Magic of Christmas
that with Friendship's could rival!
If she wanted to save the day,
this new power would be vital.

The Magic of Christmas
was now supporting her resistance.
And she beated every opponent
within an inch of existence.
Even Discord and Chrysalis
were defeated with a final blast,
thus the Draconequus and the Queen
were now a threat from the past.

And for a moment, right there and then,
her hat didn't feel so tight.
And she took Winona, her cart and the gifts
back to Ponyville through the bright morning light.
And everypony at the town
was more than willing to forgive.
This was, as they say,
the time to give.

And Trixie returned all the toys
and all of the stolen goods.
For the Cakes, for Spike
and the clumsy Derpy Hooves.
For Vinyl, for Octavia,
and the Lyra/Bon Bon team,
for everypony at the spa
that were bathing on steam.
For all the Mane 6, going from AJ
to the pink party beast,
and even for Twilight
who she liked the LEAST.

"This changes nothing, Sparkle.
Someday everypony will see that I am superior."
Twilight shrugged off this comment. "Baby steps."
She whispered regarding her now-warm exterior.
Twilight knew this change
would be for the better,
and she was now inspired
to write a new letter...

Dear Princess Celestia...
This lesson I learned today
after watching Trixie's new behavior
and Fluttershy shouting "Yay":

You may think somepony's hopeless,
and hooves down a lost cause.
But maybe you should stop for a second
and for thinking take a pause.
Just because someone seems bad
that doesn't mean they can't change.
For the Magic of Friendship operates
in ways that are mysterious and strange.

"Why are you rhyming, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked
since she was reading the letter. "Doing that makes no sense."
"I don't know, Rainbow..." Twilight answered
"But it's certainly making me tense."