Chapters Ditzy Doo couldn’t believe what she had just done. It was an accident. They had to know it was an accident. After all, what pony would intentionally drop three bowls of hot soup on a colt just big enough to be at a table without a booster? But there was a fierce anger in the eyes of his parents, and her apologies meant nothing to the scalded colt whose pain-filled screams split the air in the restaurant and tortured her soul.
From behind her a voice urgently whispered. “Pick up those bowls and get into the kitchen!” It was Lilac, another waitress, who had quickly come with clean towels and cold water. She shoved Ditzy aside and began to help the distraught mother clean and care for her colt.
Ditzy fell to the floor and began gathering the broken bowls, dropped silverware and soiled napkins. With her fore hooves full, she stood and… stared into the angry eyes of the colt’s sire. “What kind of animal are you?!” he hissed. “Your incompetent bumbling has burned my son!” His right hoof hooked around her left forelimb and squeezed her painfully. No matter how badly it hurt her, Ditzy knew better than to cry out to an enraged stallion. So she shut her eyes and grit her teeth against the pain as he half-dragged half-led her to the restaurant’s kitchen.
“Are you the manager!” she heard the colt’s sire angrily demand as he roughly pulled her up next to him.
Ditzy was too scared to open her eyes to see whom he might be addressing, but Salutation’s even toned professional voice was unmistakable.
“Yes, I am the manager, and I want you to know that an ambulance is on its way for you and your family.” Ditzy winced at hearing ‘ambulance’. That meant doctors, and hospitals, and lots of bills.
“Good!” The stallion said, though clearly not pleased. He shoved her forward and released her throbbing forelimb. Ditzy stumbled forward two steps, and sensed, but refused to look at the pony in front of her. “Now what are you going to do with this despicable, retarded, blonde-maned…”
“There is no need for that language, sir.” Salutation interrupted the stallion, his voice polite but firm. “I will make the reparations necessary for this unfortunate accident.” Ditzy wanted to curl up and disappear. Again, Salutation was going to have to pay for one of her mistakes, and this one was going to be expensive.
“You’re damn right you will!” The stallion’s voice was louder now, and losing control. “You will pay for everything! And then you will hear from my attorney about a lawsuit for gross negligence for allowing this…” Ditzy felt a hoof roughly grab her mane and shake her head. “…Visually-impaired mental-defective to handle scalding liquids around foals!”
“Then I will be forced to counter-sue on behalf of my employee for your vicious physical and emotional assault against her and for slander.” Salutation said, professional and firm. Ditzy’s eyes went wide in shock. Had she really just heard Sal defend her to a customer when she was wrong? The stallion just as quickly released her. Her eyes still wide open, she looked up. Salutation had his gaze fixed on the enraged customer behind her.
“Ditzy, go throw that in the trash and wait for me in my office.” He said to her while keeping his eyes fixed on the incensed patron.
She nodded to Salutation and without thinking she turned her head to the colt’s sire like she needed his forgiveness or dismissal. He scowled at her. “Get away from me you foal-burning wall-eyed bitch!”
Ditzy tucked her chin into her chest and scurried off to unload her forelimbs of the broken dishes and soup-soaked napkins. But she couldn’t dump the angry insults that resonated in her head. Nor could she throw away the cries of the scalded colt that still could be heard throughout the restaurant. Her breathing became uneven and tears began to blur her vision, forcing her to wipe them away again and again. It was so unfair! She already couldn’t see well, and now she had to deal with tears. The thought caused her body to convulse. NO! She mentally screamed. She couldn’t start to cry now! She wiped her eyes and blinked rapidly. That allowed her to see straight and clear for a little bit. There, she saw the door she wanted. She bolted for the manager’s office… and knocked over a shelf full of pots and pans. The thunder of the metal cookware clattering on the floor did little to conceal her frustrated scream. Finally reaching the office door, she threw it open, stumbled inside, and pulled it closed. Could this day possibly get any worse? No sooner had the thought crossed her mind, than the obvious answer popped, unwanted, into her head.
Yes. It can and will get worse. There is no way you can continue to work here.
Ditzy sunk to the floor, buried her muzzle into her fore hooves, and wished that she could die.
For over an hour she lied on the floor of Sal’s office until a gentle knocking caused her to flinch like she had been physically struck.
It was time.
She picked herself up from the floor, turned around and plopped onto her haunch with all the enthusiasm of the condemned responding to their executioner’s summons. “Come in.” She sighed, still staring at the floor.
Salutation quietly entered and closed the door behind him like he was trying to keep from waking a sleeping child. “Thank you, Sal,” Ditzy said, using his knickname, “for sticking up for me in front of that customer.”
“He was wrong to handle you that way. Nopony deserves that treatment.” Sal said with conviction. “And he had no reason to be so insulting.”
“I spilled all that hot soup on his poor colt.” Ditzy said like she was confessing to a crime. “And he looked at me like I had done it on purpose.”
She covered her face with her hooves like that action could block the memory from returning. “He was so small. The soup completely covered him! And the steam! It was so hot, it looked like he was smoking!” She shook as she vividly recalled the horrible details of the accident. “Then he screamed. He was in so much pain, he couldn’t move, but, he could scream. He just kept… screaming!” She had her hooves pressed over her ears now. Trying desperately to silence the cries that she knew would haunt her dreams. Sal hadn’t moved or said anything. She knew she would hear Sal if he spoke, but he hadn’t moved or said anything.
The lack of a response tormented her. Did Sal’s silence mean he really agreed with how she had been treated? Her doubts allowed the insults the customer said to her to come back and echo in her head. Most of those hurtful words had multiple voices. She had heard them before. Many times before.
“I’m sorry.” Ditzy finally said when the silence became unbearable. “I’m so very, very sorry!” Somehow, her voice didn’t crack.
“I know.”
More silence. Ditzy picked her eyes off the floor and looked up at Sal’s tired, worn expression. “I… I really do like working here, an’ there are customers here who really do like me, an’ I… I always try my best…” Ditzy wished she could have thought of something, anything, better to say in her defense, but at least she had thought of three reasons. And that’s what everypony needed, right. Didn’t everypony always say: ‘Give me three reasons why?’ Her eyes darted around his face searching for hope.
“I know you do.” Sal answered and sat on his haunch in front of her, meeting her eyes. “But you know I can’t have you be a waitress anymore.” He said with a slow shake of his head.
Against her will, a sob escaped. She bit her lip to stop it from going any further. She didn’t want to cry. It wasn’t fair to him, and Sal had always been fair with her. She would not cry. She wouldn’t. “But I… I don’t make enough as a hostess.”
“I’m sorry.” Polite but firm.
Another unwanted sob spasmed through her. She grit her teeth against the mounting pressure. She wasn’t a filly anymore. She was a mare, and she would do this without crying. “So, are Daybreak an’ I going to switch jobs?”
Sal breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. “Daybreak is still in school. She isn’t old enough to be a waitress.”
He had spoken gently, but that didn’t soften realization’s hammer-like blow that crushed her last hope. “I see. Then…” Ditzy felt hot tears spill out and roll down her cheeks. Not trusting her voice, she steadied her breathing before finishing her question. “…Can you pay me for the rest of the day?”
Ditzy collected her few belongings and walked out of the break room. Daybreak and Lilac were waiting for her. “Ditzy, we…” Lilac stopped and looked around like she was suddenly lost. Daybreak said nothing, but just pushed in for a hug.
“I’ll be okay,” Ditzy said as she returned Daybreak’s embrace. Then she looked at Lilac. “Thank you, for everything you did for me. I wish I could pay you back for all the times you had to clean up my mistakes.”
“Hey, you’d do the same for me, right?” Lilac said dismissively, trying to be friendly and casual. She achieved awkward and uncomfortable.
“Yeah, of course I would.” Ditzy smiled, but inside she wilted. Lilac couldn’t know how deep what she had just said had cut her. Lilac had never made a mistake. Ditzy had never cleaned up after anypony else. Ever. And there lay the wound. She had always been the one who made the messes. She had never been the one to pick up sompony else’s pieces.
“Well, goodbye.” Lilac turned and left. No sense in dragging it out. After all, they still had work to do.
“Good luck, Ditzy.” Daybreak sniffed and followed Lilac
“’Bye.”
Ditzy ignored the satisfied stares the cooks gave her as she walked to the backdoor, but she wasn’t deaf. She couldn’t ignore their cheering when it closed behind her. She sucked in a breath of unseasonably cold air and tried to swallow the painful lump in her throat. Failing, she chortled in the gulf between laughing and crying. “Well, I made some ponies very happy today when I left.” She sarcastically said as she spread her wings and launched into the frigid Manehattan sky. A half-dozen wing flaps later, her vision blurred, forcing her to blink more bothersome tears away. “I just wish…” She said as she felt the sting of her tears freezing on her cheeks. “…that I could make somepony that happy when they see me arrive.”
Ditzy set her overloaded saddlebags outside of her apartment. It was the end of the month, and without a job now, she couldn't afford to pay for next month's rent. She made one more walk-around to be certain she hadn’t forgotten anything. Her calendar seemed to scream at her from the now empty room. She snatched it off the nail in the wall with her teeth and tucked it under her bedroll. With a sigh she looked back at the tiny place she called home for the past ten months. She never could afford furniture, but now that seemed a like minor blessing. She didn’t have to sell, return, or ship anything. She was leaving just like she had arrived, with only the pack on her back. “Goodbye,” she told the empty room. “It was fun while it lasted.” And she closed the door.
As she negotiated carrying her heavy pack down the flights of stairs to the lobby, a thought returned and began taunting her.
Leaving just like she had arrived… Leaving just like she had arrived…
It made her tear up again. It spoke of her failure. She didn’t want to go back. Back to living with her mother in Fillydelphia. Back to her mother’s insults and her questionable employment. Back to her mother’s ‘guests’ who either laughed or leered at her. Back to the horrid smells and those terrible sounds that came through the walls at night. Back to the drinking, the shouting, and the fighting.
But did she have a choice?
Somepony told her she always had a choice. Abacus. Her one real friend through it all. A true, true friend. He had helped her earn her diploma and convinced her to ignore her mother and go to Manehattan after she had graduated. He was here now too. Maybe he could use a roommate until she could find another job?
Ditzy allowed herself to smile. This was going to work! She would go to the rental office to see her landlady and get back the security deposit on her room and use those bits to…
She tripped on the top step of the last set of stairs. Overloaded as she was, she couldn’t get her legs under her fast enough, she was falling! Instinctively her wings popped out and beat at the air to right herself. Her muzzle grazed the peak of a step midway down. Then a fore hoof found purchase and she pushed. The stairs raced past her face but, she cleared them! She wasn’t going to fall! Smiling, tucked her legs up and brought them forward as her head came up and…
BOOM!
Ditzy collided with the security door at the landing.
Only for a moment did she see stars, then she thought she was falling. But how could she? She was on her belly with her legs splayed about her. But then why did it seem like...
A scraping noise followed by a metallic groan answered her unspoken question.
Oh no! Ditzy watched in horror as the doors fell away from her and slammed on the floor of the lobby with a crash, revealing some astonished ponies gawking back at her.
Ditzy got to her hooves and blinked several times. Her double vision was especially bad after that impact. Having no luck, she violently shook her head. Success! Now she could clearly see… Mrs. Nagneigh, her landlady, and she didn’t look happy.
Mrs. Nagneigh stormed right up to her and growled. “Ditzy, Come to my office this instant!”
Dejected, Ditzy sat in front of Mrs. Nagneigh’s desk, feeling quite like she was a student in the principal’s office for a serious rule infraction. Mrs. Nagneigh muttered to herself as she shuffled papers and added up expenses. This was taking far too long, and Ditzy was beginning to lose her newfound hope. Finally she heard a frustrated sigh and Mrs. Nagneigh looked up.
“I have calculated all the expenses I have incurred because of you, Miss Doo.” Mrs. Nagneigh announced bitterly. “Unfortunately, I cannot bill you for the doors you just broke.” Mrs. Nagneigh scowled at her. Ditzy, ashamed, looked away. “Nor am I allowed to bill you for the time that I wasted repairing your frequent ‘accidents’!”
Ditzy dropped her eyes to the floor. She was almost too scared to ask. “How many bits do I get back?”
“ZERO.”
“What! Zero?!” Ditzy exclaimed with equal parts shock and horror. “But, but I gave you...”
“Only two hundred, yes I know!” Mrs. Nagneigh interrupted her. She handed Ditzy three bills. “Over the ten months you’ve been here, you’ve somehow managed to brake three keys off in the locks of the security doors. That cost me three replacement keys and three service calls by a locksmith to remove the broken keys.”
Ditzy squinted at the papers given to her, trying to read as fast as she could. “But, the locks on those doors were sticky. Everypony had problems with those locks.” She protested.
“But, somehow, you were the only pony who went and broke her keys trying to open them!” She loudly retorted. Then she handed her another bill. “And then there was the planter you crashed in. I had to buy all new plants to replace the ones you destroyed.”
“But, I didn’t kill every plant in that planter!” Ditzy exclaimed incredulously, as she scanned the itemized bill. “You can’t charge me for every new plant!”
“If I didn’t replace them all, that planter would look as uneven as your stare, Miss Doo, and I refuse to have my planters look as stupid as you!”
Ditzy wilted in the face of her insult. “Is that everything?”
“No,” Mrs. Nagneigh replied smugly. “You are forgetting the spa you broke your first week here.”
“I didn’t break that!” Ditzy replied indignantly. “I followed all the instructions that were posted!”
“But somehow,” Mrs. Nagneigh continued, “While you were still in the tub, the pump burned-out and the water heater caught fire, and you didn’t notice anything!”
“I… I just don’t know what went wrong.” Ditzy said in a small voice.
“You just don’t know what went wrong?” Mrs. Nagneigh snorted. “Well, I do know what went wrong, and once you leave, I know what will go right!” She stood up. “Good. Bye. Miss. Doo.”
Ditzy stood up hanging her head and turned for the door.
“Miss Doo, Wait!” Mrs. Nagneigh suddenly sounded concerned.
Ditzy stopped and turned to see Mrs Nagneigh rushing toward her. Had her landlady a change of heart? The glimmer of hope brightened her eyes.
Mrs. Nagneigh came right up to her again with a worried look. “Let me get the door for you, I don’t want you breaking this one on your way out.” She said as her expression morphed to a nasty smile. With mock politeness, she held open the door.
Swallow the pain, Ditzy. She told herself sternly. Don’t give her the satisfaction of seeing you cry.
She thrust her head up and started walking. She didn’t even flinch when she heard the office door slam behind her. Neither did she shed a single tear when she heard Mrs. Nagneigh laugh and shout “Hooray! The stupid bitch is leaving!” She walked calmly through the lobby with her head high until she was through the building’s doors and outside in the cold air again.
“Good for you, Ditzy.” She now verbally rewarded herself. “You are a big filly now.”
It was too late in the day now for her to go to Fillydelphia. She could either rent a room at a hotel, or she could go to Abacus’s apartment and see if he could let her stay for at least a night. There was a cheap motel just down the street. But Ditzy didn’t want to go there. It reminded her of Fillydelphia. However, she hated to just show up at Abacus’s place. He might have his fillyfriend over. She shivered. It was getting terribly cold! Her vision blurred again. She wiped her eyes with her fetlock and sniffed. More than anything else right now, she needed a friend. Her mind made up, she spread her wings and leapt into the air.
Golden Sweet shivered despite the heavy patchwork quilt that covered her as she laid on the thick area rug in Abacus’ apartment. Her brow knotting as she was contemplating the card game between her and the steelblue unicorn stallion until she had finally decided on a play. With that thought, she used her magic to lay four cards down from the seven she had suspended in front of her. “Plus three mana, and I use my Cerberus creature to deal three life damage.” She then willed one more card to drop down to the discard pile and five cards floated up from her reserve stack to join her remaining two. “Abacus, tell me again why you aren’t turning up the heat?” She knew the answer, but she had designs on what game she wanted to play after this card game was over.
Abacus mentally lowered his own cards and considered his fillyfriend’s play. “Because, the current cold weather is the result of a northern jet stream the Weather Patrol couldn’t redirect. In a few days they’ll have it warmed back up to compensate for this cold snap, but I’ll have a nice cool apartment.” He hoped he didn’t sound miserly, but his apartment’s rent was more than he desired. So he had to make some sacrifices in comfort at times, but this location was perfect. He was close to his university, to his job, and to the lovely mare with the pale coat and fiery mane who laid across from him.
“If you’re cold, you can climb under my quilt.” He said with a suggestive lift of his eyebrows.
“I am under your quilt.” She quipped as she brushed her gold and orange mane away from her eyes with a hoof.
“No, you’re…” He stopped himself, realizing too late the absolute truthfulness of her riposte. “Touché. Point: Golden Sweet.” He said imitating an announcer at a fencing match. Not yet willing to drop his proposal, he tried another tack. After all, the card game he knew, was over, and he had ideas of how he wanted to spend the next hour. “Okay, then, since you are cold, how about I join you under ‘my’ quilt?”
“No. That’s not a good idea.” She sighed like she meant what she had said, but it was nothing more than a parry. This is the game she wanted to play.
“Why?” Abacus couldn’t help but sound a little frustrated.
Goldie’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “Because you’d try to get a look at what I have.”
“I doubt very much that I’ll be interested in looking at your cards if I were beside you in that quilt.” Abacus’ ambitions were as plain as his naiveté.
Goldie rolled her deep blue eyes, amazed that he missed her double entendre. “Okay, I can’t let you because, I’d be tempted to look at what you have.” She smiled hawkishly, like competitors do when they know they have already defeated their adversary.
“And, what if I don’t care if you see my cards?”
Goldie struggled to keep a straight face. Is he seriously still thinking I’m talking about this card game? Then again, her cynical thought was fought by the part of her that really appreciated his innocence. Hopefully, he’ll start being a bit more forward. She liked being pursued. So far, he had been too… Timid? No that wasn’t right. Reserved. Yes, that fit. He held himself back very well. Frustratingly well.
“It doesn’t matter if you care or not.” She said, like the answer would be plain to anypony.
“Why?”
“Because, I’m supposed to avoid temptation.” She smiled and sipped at her mug of hot coco from between her fetlocks. Abacus stared at her as though he was prepared to reply, but finding himself suddenly without ammunition. He closed his mouth. Goldie set down her mug. Touché! Match: Golden Sweet!
“I’m not going to win this game, am I?” Abacus said, finally conceding defeat.
“Nope.” Goldie shook her head and drew the word out three times its length.
“Then I’m just going to have to win this one!” Five cards magically separated and floated down, one at a time. “There, that brings your poison counter up to ten.” Abacus had a foal-like excitement in the way he announced her defeat. Goldie frowned, but inwardly exulted. Perhaps this evening will get exciting before she had to leave. With a sigh she released the magic that held her cards and let them drop on the rug.
“Hey, don’t give me that look,” Abacus said defensively and held up his hooves now in a mock surrender. “I tried to give you a way out.”
“Maybe I prefer defeat in a card game to ‘your way out’.” Goldie pretended to pout.
“Maybe,” Abacus started pulling himself across the rug, closing the gap between them. “…if you tried ‘my way’ out, you’d find it isn’t so bad.” She was looking at him with her ‘sleepy eyes’ as he inched closer. Their horns tapped. They were close enough now. He leaned his head to the right and…There was a knock on his apartment door.
“Yes!” Goldie jumped to her hooves and shed the quilt covering her. “The pizza’s here!” Her choosing the pizzapony over a kiss may just help Abacus make his moves a bit more quickly, she reasoned. Truthfully, she was just enjoying the flirting.
“Ugh,” Abacus dropped his muzzle to the rug, lamenting the perfectly awful timing of the delivery. “The bits for it are by the door.”
“I know!” Goldie answered, already at the door with her magical aura glowing as it unlocked the latch and unfastened the security chain. “Just a minute!” She said loud enough to be heard by the pony outside the door. She threw open the door and drew a breath in surprise. “Oh! Ditzy, what are you doing here?”
Astonished at the unexpected response, Abacus raised to his haunch to see over the couch. It was exactly who she had said, but the blonde maned grey mare was surprisingly overburdened and looked unmistakably forlorn.
Ditzy heart sank when she heard Golden answer her knock. Even more so when she heard her mention pizza. There was no doubt in her mind that her presence would be unwanted. However, politeness would dictate they don’t show their displeasure at her unexpected appearance. She had better find a way to leave before she lost her best friend. “Uhh, hey, Golden Sweet, I was just stopping to um… say goodbye.” Ditzy lacked the energy to fake enthusiasm. Her voice was as lackluster as her appearance.
“What!?” Abacus and Goldie said in unison.
“I’m going back to… um…Fillydelphia… I guess.” Ditzy wasn’t aware that as she spoke her eyes dropped a little with every word.
“No!” Abacus stood and walked to the door. “Ditzy, Why?”
“I umm… just don’t think I am doing too good here.” Ditzy’s evasion to the question was as obvious as it was vague. “I think I should go back to Fillydelphia. So, I came here to tell you that, I’m leaving.” Her head was now so low, she could have been having a conversation with a doormat, if there had been one.
Abacus and Goldie glanced at one another. They both didn’t like this sudden turn of events and were concerned about the clearly disheartened state of their friend. Goldie lowered her head and tried to make eye contact. “I don’t understand what you mean you when you say: 'you don’t think you’re doing well here'? Can you come inside and explain it better to us?”
She didn’t even try to pick her eyes up from the floor. “I…I don’t have time to explain, I need to leave.” Ditzy turned and started walking away. She had hoped Golden wouldn’t be here. Not because she didn’t like her, or didn’t trust her, but because she always felt like Golden was her friend because of Abacus. That feeling of her presence being merely tolerated by Golden was strong right now. More than anything, she didn’t want Abacus and Golden to hate her because she had ruined their evening together by showing up uninvited with her problems in tow.
“Ditzy, wait.” Abacus started after her, but an earth pony appeared in the doorway. Abacus paused, then without a word he pushed his way past the untimely deliverypony.
“Hey!” The startled pizzapony snarled at Abacus’ rude passing. He turned to Golden. “Did somepony here order a pizza?”
“Yes. Thank you, we did.” Goldie struggled to be polite, when what she wanted to do was follow Abacus. She hurried to finish their transaction with the pizzapony.
Ditzy didn’t hesitate. In fact, she picked up her pace. She wanted to run, hide, or do anything to get out of there. Anything to get out of their way. “Enjoy your evening together. Goodbye.” She said without even turning her head.
“Ditzy, you don’t have to leave!” Abacus said overloud to be sure she heard him. He moved from a trot to a canter to catch up with her retreat. “Why don’t you stay and have dinner with us?” He said breathlessly as he tried to get around her in the narrow hall.
“I…I can’t.” Ditzy reached the door to the stairway and pulled open the door.
“Why?” Abacus pushed her against the door jam. Her overstuffed saddlebags now wedged against him and the jam and prevented her from leaving.
Ditzy shoved back with her flank, but kept her head facing the exact opposite direction from him. “I don’t want to interrupt your dinner together.” She tried to force her way through the door again.
“You aren’t interrupting!” Abacus was actively struggling against her now, and having a tough time. “We haven’t started…and we are…inviting you to join us.” He said trying to sound like he wasn’t exerting himself.
Ditzy was gaining the advantage “I…just…can’t!” She broke free, and stumbled onto the landing of the stairwell.
Abacus jaws snapped on a strap dangling from her pack “Why…can‘t…you?” Abacus said through clenched teeth.
“Because…I…I’m not hungry!” An unmistakable growl from her rebellious stomach told a different story. She stopped struggling and just hung her head.
Abacus spit out the strap and trotted around and stood in front of his friend. “Ditzy,” he sighed, lifting her muzzle tenderly with a fore hoof. “Please. Come back and have dinner with us. I…We…both want you to stay, and it is far too late for you to fly to Fillydelphia.”
He said please. He sounded sincere. He was looking directly at her and stroking her cheek. She never could say no to him. “Okay,” Ditzy surrendered. “Thank you, I’ll stay.” It was true what he said, it was too late to fly to Fillydelphia, and too cold, and she hadn’t eaten anything all day. She normally ate a free meal at work, but couldn’t do that today because of…of…
“Ditzy?”
Startled, and unaware she had dropped her head again, she looked up to see Abacus with a puzzled, worried expression.
“Ditzy, what’s wrong?” The concern for her in his voice was thick, so heavy and thick that it forced Ditzy past the line she had determined she would not cross the moment she heard Golden answering his door.
“I… I got…” Ditzy’s eyes shut a moment too late and sent all her unshed tears racing down her cheeks. “I got fired!” Her wail of grief finally giving voice to her circumstance was the crack needed to break through the dam she had constructed of her will to contain her increasing flood of emotion. There, framed by the door, burdened by her physical possessions, she finally began to empty herself of all her pent-up emotional baggage. She sobbed freely and unabashedly, squeezing the story of the day’s events out one syllable at a time. “I… sp…illed…ha…hot… s…soup…ah…all…over…ah…a…colt!”
“Ohhh, Ditzy!” Goldie said sympathetically from the doorway. Ditzy hadn’t noticed her arrival, but now she was in the forefront, wrapping her in an embrace and guiding her back into the hallway. “Come inside. Come inside right now and tell us everything.”
She dropped back to her hooves in the hall, but pressed her neck against Ditzy’s in the common equine manner of reassurance and affection. Neck and neck, they walked back to the apartment, Ditzy sobbing and Goldie whispering consolations. Acting in concert, Abacus followed and closed his door behind them. Then he started helping Ditzy shed her pack and saddlebags. Afterward, Goldie led her to sit on the couch while Abacus brought her a drink of water from the kitchen and a box of tissues. All the while Ditzy kept fitting in the bits and pieces of her day between her quivering breaths. Soon a pile of tissues lay on the floor. But by then, the storm was spent. Ditzy’s story of her horrible day had been told.
“And that’s when I decided to come here.” Ditzy sniffed and plucked the last tissue out of the box.
“Ohhh, Ditzy!” Goldie cooed as she gathered her in her forelegs again. Abacus too, now joined them for a group hug with Ditzy in the middle. “We are sooo glad you did come here!”
Ditzy had thought she had finally run out of tears, but now with Golden’s compassionate ministrations joining Abacus’ warm, safe embrace she was welling up again.
“Re…Really?” She squeaked out.
“Absolutely, Ditzy.” Abacus affirmed.
It was all too much for Ditzy. She had braced herself against emotional pain and insults all day, but now, she found she was powerless in the face of her friend’s love and acceptance. She started crying again. But this time, she was unable to do or say anything until the tide had subsided. When she finished, she was holding a damp kitchen towel, and still braced on each side by Goldie and Abacus. “Thank you.” She lay the towel in her thigh and wrapped a foreleg around them both to return their embrace. “Thank you, both, very much!”
An unmistakable growl from an unsentimental stomach interrupted. All three friends traded looks, however, only Ditzy looked sheepish. “How about we eat now, before I start to cry again?”
It was a good thing he wanted leftovers and ordered a large Mediterranean style pizza. Ditzy had been ravenous, and was now happily devouring the last piece of pizza. The only leftovers was looking like it was going to be Goldie’s half-eaten slice and the small pile of mushrooms she had removed from her first piece. Abacus glanced over at Goldie as she emptied her wineglass. She met his eyes. He tilted his head. She shook hers. He got to his hooves and magically collected all their wineglasses and took them into the kitchen. Meanwhile, paper plates and soiled napkins were magically gathered into the empty pizza box and floated to the trash bin by Goldie.
“I wish I was a unicorn.” Came an unhappy reply to the rapid tidying up. “Then I wouldn’t be making so many mistakes.” Ditzy then popped her last bite in her mouth.
“We all have traits about ourselves we would like to change, Ditzy.” Goldie got up and sat on her haunch next to her. “I know you have had a really tough day and you are having trouble seeing your strengths right now, but let me tell you, I’m certain you will find a place you belong, and a job that needs somepony just like you.”
“Thanks, Golden.” Ditzy half-smiled, “and thank you Abacus for dinner.”
“You’re welcome.” Abacus laid down with a legal notepad and pencil. “Do you think you can talk to us about what happened with your landlady?”
“Yes, Ditzy,” Goldie interjected, “I don’t think she had legal standing to deny you your security deposit.”
"But, she showed me those bills, an’ I did brake those keys, an’ crash in the planter.” Ditzy looked confused.
“Yes, but you also stated that there was a problem with the locks, and that you didn’t kill every plant in the planter.” Goldie took the legal pad and pencil and started writing notes. “I’m also certain you had nothing to do with the spa catching fire. I think she was taking advantage of your trusting nature and making you believe that you were responsible for her maintenance deficiencies.”
“Huh?”
Goldie smiled. “I think you are being blamed for breaking objects that were already broken.”
“But the plants…”
“What you said is true, Ditzy, you are only responsible for those that you damaged.”
“But she said she didn’t want her planters to look as stupid as me.”
Goldie’s countenance turned to flint. “It still isn’t your responsibility, and I swear to you now, I will do my best to see that she regrets saying that to you!”
“Do you think a lawyer is a good idea?” Abacus interrupted. “It is only 200 bits.”
“A lawyer?” Ditzy looked shocked, “I can’t afford a lawyer?”
Goldie laid a hoof on Ditzy’s shoulder. “I work in a legal office, I’m going to ask if there are any lawyers interested in some pro-bono work.”
“Pro bono?” Ditzy scratched behind her ear.
“Sometimes lawyers look for hard luck cases and offer their services for free.” Abacus explained. “Just try to remember everything as accurately as you can. Also try to remember any ponies who may have seen or heard anything.”
They spent the next hour recording everything Ditzy could remember. Names, addresses, times, complaints, and insults. Goldie took exhaustive notes. At the end of the hour, she flipped through the pages she had filled in speedy review and yawned.
Abacus looked at the clock. “It’s time for you to leave.”
“Okay.” Ditzy started to get up.
Goldie giggled softly, “He was talking to me, Ditzy. I have to go to work tomorrow. You are staying here tonight.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Ditzy looked between Goldie and Abacus nervously.
“I’ll walk you out.” Abacus didn’t answer, letting it be seen as a forgone conclusion that Ditzy was going to stay overnight and got to his hooves with Goldie. “Ditzy, why don’t you get ready for bed?”
“Okay,” She got to her hooves and gave Goldie a hug. “Thank you for everything!” Her voice was on the verge of breaking again.
Goldie returned her embrace. “Shhhh, it’s all right, I’m happy to help.”
“Do you really think that you will find somepony to work pro bono?” Abacus whispered to Goldie as they were walking down the hallway to the stairs.
“I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t think I had a chance.” She whispered back. “I think, that even if there is nopony wanting to take this pro bono, she has a strong enough case for a small claims court at the very least.”
They went down the stairs in silence. Once in the lobby, Abacus brushed his shoulder against Goldie. “I really appreciate you doing this for her. She really needs a good friend like you.”
“I’m happy to do it for her.” Goldie responded, “She’s a friend of a good friend of mine.” She stopped and smiled.
Abacus stopped and turned toward her. “Friend of a good friend? I better be more than just a good friend.” He faced her and pressed his horn and muzzle against hers. “Now where was I…?” He tilted his head and pressed his lips against hers, finding her lips were already parted. Their tongues extended, touched, slid, and separated. Their lips completed their dance a minute or so later.
“Goodnight” They said together.
Abacus quietly opened the door to his apartment to find that Ditzy was wrapped up in one of his quilts, sound asleep on his couch. As quietly as he could, he brushed his teeth and climbed into his bed. He didn’t lie down immediately, but watched Ditzy sleeping. Her body’s curves rising and falling with her breathing. He admired her freshly brushed mane reflecting the faint moonlight in the room.
“I hope I can help you find a job tomorrow,” He whispered, “I don’t want you to go back to your mother. You are far too beautiful for that place.” He laid down and let sleep claim him.
Author's Note
The card game I imagine them playing is like "Magic: The Gathering", which is a game I have never played...
Abacus' apartment is a studio.
Ditzy woke up to the sweet smell of baking blueberry muffins. “Mmmmm!” She sighed appreciatively while stretching the sleepiness out of her limbs. She sat up and looked toward the kitchen almost giddy with anticipation. “Muffins!” She exclaimed in a voice that seemed to belong to a much younger filly. She threw off the quilt and bounced up to the breakfast bar.
“It doesn’t take much to get you to rise and shine.” Abacus chuckled at her antics, happy that she was in a good mood.
“Nope! You know muffins put me in my happy place.” Ditzy beamed.
“Why is that?” He was suddenly curious and couldn’t help but ask.
Ditzy bit her bottom lip and her left eye went straight up while her right eye seemed to point at her nose. Abacus recognized this as her thinking face. “I think it’s because I was always happy when my mom made them when I was a filly.”
“Okay, why did they make you happy whenever your mom made them?”
Ditzy made her thinking face. “They made the house smell good, they seemed to put mom in a good mood, and I knew I was going to have something to eat at home for two or three days.”
Abacus was stunned. “You didn’t always have something to eat at home?”
“Well, there was always grass at school and at the park.”
“Yeah, except in winter.”
“That must be why she made muffins more in the winter!” Ditzy smiled like she was proud of herself for making the connection.
Abacus was horrified. He knew the common turf found at schools and parks didn’t have enough nutritional value. Ponies, especially yearlings, needed oats, grains, and flowering grasses like alfalfa or clover. And here she was telling him she had often made a meal of grass out of necessity.
“Ditzy, I want to help you try to find another job here in Manehattan. Do you want to start brainstorming about your strengths and talents and what jobs might fit you before I have to leave for my class?
Ditzy giggled, “Brainstorm! That word is funny!” She snorted. “Sure, I mean, what else am I going to do?”
“Okay, great!” Abacus said, trying to keep the positive energy going. He magically picked up a pen. “What do you think is your best quality?
“Ummm, I like ponies?”
“Okay, you are saying you are outgoing and friendly.” Abacus interpreted. “What else?”
Ditzy was thinking again. “I don’t get hurt easily?”
“Hmm… We’ll put…ability to handle physically demanding work?”
Ditzy nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah!”
“What next?”
Ditzy looked positively stumped. “Ummm… What do you think?”
Abacus felt uneasy. He really wanted her to do this with as little influence from him as possible. “I don’t think I should answer for you.” Ditzy’s expression fell.
“I have an idea, why don’t you tell me how you earned your cutie mark?”
Ditzy’s flat appearance didn’t change.
“You don’t remember what you did to earn your cutie mark?”
Ditzy shook her head.
“Do you remember the day you earned your cutie mark?”
Another head shake.
“Who first noticed that you had your cutie mark?”
“One of my mom’s friends.”
“Really?” Abacus said in shocked disbelief.
“Mmm hmm, she said something like, I had the mark she should’ve had: champagne bubbles.”
Abacus stared at her, speechless.
Ditzy continued on. “I think I was the first in my class to get my mark. That kind’a made it hard ‘cause I didn’t know what I had done to get it, so it became something of a game for the other colts and fillies to make up what my ‘special talent’ must be.” Then her eyes seemed to focus on something far beyond the kitchen wall, and her voice went dark.
“They didn’t make up very nice talents. They guessed falling into ponds, staring at floating bubbles… ‘cause, you know, my eyes could follow two different paths at a time. They guessed farting in the bathtub… that one got a lot of laughs… Ditzy chuckled hollowly, the type of ironic laugh that exists only to keep one from weeping or cursing.
They also guessed cleaning.” Ditzy’s unblinking eyes began to visibly water. “They’d say, ‘Oh, Ditzy makes so many messes, her special talent is cleaning now ‘cause of all the practice she gets with soap’, and oh, how I hated that!” Ditzy’s face twisted and her voice came to life, seething with anger. “I hated that one more than any other!” Just as quickly as it had arrived, the anger left, and her voice became mournful.
“It’s kind’a funny… That’s the one you would think is the least hurtful, but, that’s the one I hated the most. You see, my mom told me the same thing.”
A tear formed and began its slow, halting descent. “She…she told me; ‘I’m so glad you got a soap bubble cutie mark, ‘cause now I know you can clean up after yourself’. And after she said that, I always did. It didn’t matter if it was a broken pickle jar with sharp slivers of glass everywhere, or if it was a pitcher of apple juice, or if it was a jar of paint. I could clean it all up by myself, because that was my talent. And the next day it better not stink, or be sticky, or leave a stain, ‘cause I have the special talent of cleaning. Whenever I spilt something from then on, she’d just throw a towel at me and tell me to use my talent.”
Ditzy blinked. Then her eyelids fluttered with a little shake of her head like she was waking up from a daydream or a short nap. She wiped her face with a hoof and stared at the wetness on her hoof like its origin was a mystery. Then she just wiped it away on her thigh. “So, I guess you can put down that I can clean.”
Abacus didn’t know what to say. He had always known Ditzy had an unpleasant home life, but revelations like this never ceased to shock him. His understanding of her would always be as one who tries to plumb the depths of a pool by looking down from the edge. “I…I think the muffins are done.”
Goldie had been excited to come to work. She couldn’t wait to tell Ditzy’s story to the members of the firm. She was so certain that somepony would want to take the case, but all she had heard were negatives. Some said too little money was involved. Others claimed they had too big of a caseload. Some wanted publicity, and this had not enough exposure. The list went on, and her hope was getting dim.
So now, she was standing in front of the office door to the founding member of this firm: Mr. Coldwing. He was her last chance to find a lawyer here where she worked. Mr. Coldwing was a griffin, a hardened attorney, and had a reputation for never taking a case pro bono. Nevertheless, just before lunch, she resolutely walked to his office so she could honestly say she did everything she could have possibly done. After breathing a heavy sigh, she knocked on his door.
“Come in.”
His voice was deep and foreboding, and hearing it she nearly lost her nerve. She forced a pleasant smile and walked in to see Mr. Coldwing already looking impatient and tapping a talon on his desk. “Good morning!” She managed, hoping she sounded pleasant and not terrified. “My name is Golden Sweet, and I work in the...”
“You are one of the legal aides.” He interrupted her. “You started last year.”
Goldie was unsettled by his abrupt manner and stammered. “Y…Yes, that’s true…Uh, I mean, that’s correct. I…”
“I hear your work is competent.” He interrupted her again, “I’m glad you are employed with us, but I will not write a recommendation for you.”
“Huh?… A recommendation? No, I wanted to see if...”
“I said your work was competent, what makes you think that you deserve a raise.”
“Umm, No…I…I’m not here to ask for a raise either.” Her response caused Mr. Coldwing’s gaze to rise a hoof-span and his eyes to widen by a hair, but somehow, it seemed that he was now finally looking at her.
“Mr. Coldwing,” Goldie began, feeling emboldened by his silence. “I am here to ask you to take my friend’s case against her former landlord. She was unjustly denied her security deposit and I want her to be represented."
Mr. Coldwing blinked. There was enough of a pause to make Goldie feel the pinpricks of sweat on her brow. “How much is her security deposit?” He asked at last and pulled out a sheet of official letterhead.
Goldie swallowed. “200 bits.”
She had thought he would take offense. His one hour consultations were about that much. To her amazement, He didn’t bat an eye, but just scribbled a short note, folded the paper in half, and held it out. “Take this to my secretary, she will write you a check for that amount.”
Goldie took the note and slowly unfolded it with her hooves.
“Are you doubting me, Miss Sweet?”
“No.”
“Then what is the problem?” He was tapping a talon on his desk again.
Goldie felt a contradiction within her. She felt as though she should just give Ditzy the bits. She needed them after all. But it didn’t feel right within her being, her soul. An image of her holding Ditzy as she wept went through her mind. Then she remembered her promise to Ditzy. I swear to you now, I will do my best to see that she regrets saying that to you!
Goldie sighed. “With all due respect, Mr. Coldwing, I don’t want your bits.”
“Then what do you want, Miss Sweet? My time is worth more than this case. That is why I am willing to settle with you. What difference does it make to your friend if she is recompensed by me or her landlord?”
Goldie hoped she didn’t sound preachy. “The difference is in principle. If I take this from you, the offending party is has felt no repercussions for their wrongdoing and will feel free to molest other tenants in like manner.”
“So you want to punish the landlord?”
“No, I want justice for my friend.”
“Are you hiring me to pursue punitive damages against the landlord?”
“No, I am asking you to take this case pro bono.”
Mr. Coldwing blinked. “Who told you I would take a case pro bono?”
“Nopony told me you would. Quite the contrary, in fact. Everypony here insisted you would not now, nor have you ever taken a case pro bono.”
“Do you believe them, Miss Sweet?”
Truthfully, she did then, but now…now some new insight or intuition whispered into her consciousness. “I believe you have not taken a case pro bono since you started this firm. However, I also believe you did love the ideal of justice in your youth, and that drove you to become a lawyer. I believe that as a young attorney, you did pro bono work when your heart guided your case load and that you worked, and sacrificed, for the satisfaction of seeing the strong fail and the right prevail.”
“You are a hopeless idealist, Miss Sweet.” Mr. Coldwing said with derision. “You better just take that note and go. You won’t get a better deal.”
Goldie lay the note down on his desk and looked straight into his eagle eyes. “I will not get a better deal anywhere else, but I will get more justice than you are offering my friend here.” With her hoof she slid the paper toward him, and turned to leave.
“What is driving you to reject this offer, Miss Sweet?”
Goldie looked at him. “Yesterday, my friend Ditzy lost her job. She immediately went and moved out of her apartment because she knew she would not be able to afford the next month’s rent. She was trying to do what was right, and her landlady, Mrs. Nagneigh, should have been grateful. Instead, she took advantage of Ditzy. She insulted her and withheld her deposit. She treated her worse than a degenerate or a squatter and laughed at her as she left.”
Goldie held her fore hooves in front of her like she was cradling an infant. “I held the emotional wreck of a pony that was my friend. I listened to her recount her humiliation. I handed her the tissues and rocked her as she cried. I swore I would seek justice for her. I knew I would have to do it, because she doesn’t think herself worthy of anything good. Ditzy has had a hard life. Her mother was abusive to her. If that wasn’t enough, she also is walleyed and has suffered all kinds of maltreatment because...”
“Did you say she is cross-eyed?” Mr. Coldwing interrupted again, but this time he sounded curious.
“No, I said she is walleyed.”
“From an accident?”
Goldie thought a moment. “No, I believe it is a congenital condition. Ditzy has always remembered being walleyed.”
“Your friend, Miss Ditzy, is it?”
“Miss Doo. Her name is Ditzy Doo.”
“Is she a unicorn?”
“No, she is a pegasus.”
“A walleyed pegasus…” Mr. Coldwing stood up and paced behind his desk. “There may be more to this case than I thought.” He mused. “Bring your friend, Miss Doo, to my office tomorrow. I want to speak with her directly.”
“I recorded all relevant information right here.” Goldie magically conjured the legal folder she made from her notes and guided it over to him. “She doesn’t need to come in.”
Mr. Coldwing took the notebook with a claw and began scanning its pages. “Have her come in to my office at nine in the morning. Sharp. I will decide then if I will take her case.”
Goldie stood still in disbelief.
Mr. Coldwing glanced up at her. “Good day, Miss Sweet.”
“Y…Yes, Thank you…Good day.” She left his office in a daze. Something…something was…strange. She went through their conversation in her mind. Nothing seemed amiss. She shook her head. She had better things to worry about than the reason why the firm’s tough-as-nails top attorney had a sudden change of heart. She had work to catch up on while she was running about trying to get Ditzy a lawyer. And, now she had to drop by Abacus’ apartment to tell Ditzy the news. Tomorrow at nine, sharp. Hopefully, he will remain curious take the case.
“Okay, just hold still.” Abacus told Ditzy as he climbed up the ladder behind her. He had bought an electric ceiling fan with lights to install in his apartment to replace the lonely light fixture. A secondary motive was to test Ditzy’s mechanical aptitude for a possible career in construction. However, he was feeling quite out of his element, and it was taking much longer than he thought. She had taken the light down, and was now holding the ceiling fan for him to wire in. It was embarrassing to admit, but it was too heavy for him to lift with his magic, and he couldn’t twist the wires together either.
“How are you doing, Ditzy?” He whispered in her ear as he leaned forward against her back, his head right by hers.
“I’m fine” Ditzy answered. In truth, she was much better than fine. This was so much fun! She had taken the old light down and despite Abacus’ constant yelps for her to be careful, she hadn’t dropped anything or shocked herself. Now, she was easily holding up the motor assembly that he had struggled with, and he was stretched out against her back, pressing her against the ladder, trying to twist the wires together using both his hooves and magic. Ditzy was already smiling, but now she felt a subtle change in how she smiled. She felt so warm and safe. Like she did when she had freshly baked muffins, or when he hugged her. She felt every movement of his body against hers as he struggled with the wires above them. Ditzy closed her eyes. This felt so good! She wished that this project could last forever!
“Ah!” Abacus slipped and grabbed Ditzy’s shoulders to steady himself. “Sorry!” He apologized nervously.
“It’s okay.” Ditzy answered dreamily. It was like he was hugging her again, and his hugs made her feel safe, and as warm as muffins.
Fifteen more minutes later, Abacus breathed a frustrated sigh. “I can’t get it. I’m stretched too far over your back.” He stepped down and off the ladder.
Ditzy sighed too, in disappointment. He wasn't leaning on her anymore.
"I don’t know how we are going to get this.”
“What if I hold it up without the ladder?”
Abacus tried to keep from rolling his eyes. “Um… how would you do that? You aren’t tall enough.”
Ditzy giggled. “I’m a pegasus, remember?”
“Yeah, but how can you hover in here while holding the fan in place?” He stated skeptically more than he asked.
“Like this!” Ditzy’s wings started beating and she pushed the ladder over to Abacus with her hooves.
“Whoa!” Abacus caught the ladder. “Ditzy, what are you doing?!”
Ditzy knew what she was doing. It was easy. she lifted her hind legs up and hovered her body under the fan; smiling the whole time.
“Ditzy, you’re inverted!”
“Huh?”
“YOU’RE FLYING UPSIDE-DOWN!”
Ditzy giggled. “Of course I am! Do you think I didn’t know?”
Abacus stared incredulously. He was certain he was witnessing the impossible.
“Well, are you going to get up here and wire this?” Ditzy asked to stir Abacus into action.
“Oh! Right.” Abacus set the ladder back up and climbed, easily reaching the electrical box and wires now without Ditzy on the ladder. A few twists, and the electrical wires were connected. The grounding wire was more troublesome, as it required a screw and screwdriver, but it made far simpler now that his vision was unobstructed and he could use his magic.
Ditzy was having no problem holding the motor steady. Flying upside down was fun! It made the world look funny. She watched Abacus as he worked. He was directly in front of her. So close, she was sure she could tickle his neck with her tongue. She breathed in deeply and caught his scent. He smelled like textbooks and summer afternoons. And of course, the spicy fragrance of magic. Her eyes closed and she inhaled deeply again. She could smell his musk now. He was nervous and straining, but to her he still smelled delicious!
“Done!” Abacus announced triumphantly and stepped off the ladder. “Can you hang it from here?” He asked as he pulled the ladder away.
“Sure.” Ditzy answered confidently, albeit a little disappointed. She wished this project could last forever! She maneuvered the motor by feel until it made a solid connection. Gingerly, she released her hold. The motor stayed put, securely in its cradle.
“Great job!” Abacus said as he was rubbing his shoulders. “Do you want to land and use the ladder now?”
“Why?”
“I thought you might be more comfortable on your hooves.”
“No, I’m fine.” Ditzy turned to face him, still hovering inverted, and held out her fore hooves. “Just hand me what I need for the next step.”
There was a knock on the door as he was handing her the last fan blade and screws.
“Come in!” Abacus said.
The door opened and Goldie walked in. “Hey good…” She stopped and stared at the gray pegasus still hovering upside-down under the fan base while she screwed in the last fan blade. “Ditzy?” She asked warily as she walked around to see Ditzy’s face, which had one eye closed and her tongue poking out the side of her mouth in concentration.
Goldie looked over to Abacus. “How…?” She inquired, too stunned to finish her question.
Abacus was still staring at Ditzy as well and shaking his head. “I don’t know, but I’m not going to ask questions until she’s finished.” He walked over and gave her a quick kiss. “Good news?” he whispered.
“I think so.” She whispered back. “I’ll tell you in a minute.” And she kissed him back with soft, unhurried, motions that remind you of waves rolling on a beach.
“Done!” Ditzy announced proudly, as she tucked a wing and rolled in the air to land on her hooves. “Oh,” Ditzy caught them mid-kiss and blushed. “I um…” She started to look for a way out.
Goldie pulled away. “Oh, good! That looks wonderful!” She immediately remarked on the ceiling fan to lessen Ditzy’s discomfort at her seeing them kissing. “Did you do this all by yourself?”
“No,” said Ditzy.
“Yes, said Abacus. Goldie glanced between them. “Essentially she did it all.” He went on to explain. “She removed the old fixture, and if I could have lifted the fan’s motor magically, she would have done it all. She may just have a future in construction.”
“Oh!” Goldie looked genuinely pleased. “Now I know what pony to call if I need help at my place.” Ditzy beamed.
“Of course,” Abacus conceded easily. “So what did you find out at work?”
“I think it's good news.” Goldie said like she was treading thin ice. “One of the attorneys is interested in your case, Ditzy.”
“Really?” Ditzy’s smile seemed impossibly wide.
“Yes, but he hasn’t agreed to take it yet.”
Ditzy’s face knotted in puzzlement. “So… What’s that mean?”
“He wants to meet you tomorrow, in his office, at nine o’clock, sharp.” Goldie emphatically stressed each requirement. “So dress nice, and be at my work early tomorrow morning.”
Ditzy nodded, with obvious concern about the importance Goldie placed on the expectations she had to meet. “I… I will!”
“So who is the attorney?” Abacus asked, also sensitive to the anxiety Goldie was experiencing.
“Mr. Thaddeus P. Coldwing the third, esquire.”
Abacus eyes widened. “The griffin? The head of the firm?”
Goldie felt her flanks tighten, she hadn’t realized till now how truly nervous she was. She nodded her head to answer. She didn’t trust her voice.
“Wow,” Ditzy said feeling terribly uncertain about the whole affair, “are you sure about this?”
Goldie suddenly felt an urgent need to use the restroom. “Yes, absolutely.” She forced out a cheery affirmation from her constrained lungs. She even managed to smile while she did it. “Now if you will excuse me.” Goldie disappeared into the bathroom.
Ditzy looked worried. “I don’t know about this Abacus. I don’t want to put her on the spot.”
“Then look nice, and don’t be late.” Abacus replied. “He wants to meet you, and the only way to keep Goldie’s reputation is to follow through.”
Ditzy looked over to the bathroom door. “I hope she’s done soon.”
Author's Note
I've never heard a story on Ditzy's Cutie Mark and how she earned it.
Ditzy anxiously nibbled on a muffin as she sat waiting outside Mr. Coldwing's office. His secretary, Miss Fairlily, a white unicorn mare with a pastel pink mane, had welcomed her graciously, offered her refreshments, and then directed her to a comfortable chair to wait. However, despite the luxuriousness of the cushions, it was impossible for Ditzy to get comfortable. It was unbearable just sitting there! She finished her muffin and sipped at the water she was given. Would it be bad manners to pace? She wondered while she chewed on her lip.
The office door opened mid-thought, causing Ditzy to hop to her hooves in surprise. There, in the doorway to Mr Coldwing's office, stood the most imposing griffin she had ever seen. He had a brightly polished beak and piercing emerald eyes that alone would have defined his predatory nature. His feathers were impressive, they had the color and appearance of polished mahogany. Finally, the scales of his feet had a luster to them that could only be obtained by frequent dactylcures, and his talons gleamed like they were made of obsidian. Ditzy felt like her hooves had rooted themselves to the floor, rendering her immobile. Her eyes went as wide as dinner plates as the intimidating specimen of griffin-kind walked directly up to her.
"Good morning, I am Thaddeus P. Coldwing." His was so deep and authoritative that it seemed to boom like a drumbeat and vibrate her bones. Mr. Coldwing extended a forefoot towards her in greeting. Ditzy, at that moment would have turned and fled, but in spite all his intimidating features, and the deadly forefoot now presented to her, he seemed to possess a friendly warmth about him. That contradiction left her paralyzed with indecision. Her hesitation did not go unnoticed. “You are Miss Ditzy Doo, are you not?” Mr. Coldwing asked her to end the silence before it became uncomfortably long. Ditzy couldn’t speak, so she nodded her head in short jerks. "Please, come into my office." He swept his extended his forefoot now to direct her toward his office and politely held the door for her.
"Thank you." Ditzy finally managed to force out after another noticeable pause. She then looked down at her hooves to see if they were indeed rooted to the floor. They weren't. She lifted her head and commanded herself to walk forward. Upon entering the office, a sudden surprised gasp from her immediate right startled her into a defensive stance. It was another griffin. A female she believed. She was just as expensively maintained as Mr. Coldwing, but less impressive in appearance only due to the brindle coloration of her plumage which despite the glossy sheen, still managed to look like the sandstone detritus from where griffins called home. The second griffin stood slowly, like she was trying to keep from any sudden movements. Her mouth was slightly agape and her sapphire eyes stared, wide and unblinking at Ditzy.
The door closed. It wasn't loud, but Ditzy had a jolt nevertheless. "Miss Doo," Mr. Coldwell's voice boomed again, "I would like to introduce you to my mate: Mrs. Verita Coldwing."
Ditzy struggled to compose herself. Griffins don't eat ponies. Griffins don't eat ponies. Griffins. Don't. Eat. Ponies.
Mrs. Coldwing smiled pleasantly and delicately took Ditzy's proffered hoof in her well-dactylcured, menacing-looking, taloned forefoot. "Please, call me Verita, Miss Doo. It is my great pleasure to meet you!" She spoke with a sincere reverence and her eyes fixed on Ditzy like she was awestruck by Ditzy and was afraid to blink. That made Ditzy less apprehensive, but distinctly uneasy. There was so much happening that she didn't understand. In addition, everything seemed to be happening so fast that, she couldn’t take it all in. It gave her the feeling that she was being swept along in waters too turbulent to swim.
“Thank you, Verita, and will you please call me Ditzy.” Ditzy said now that her desire to be polite had finally overcome her awe and fear.
“I would be love to, Ditzy.” Verita released Ditzy’s hoof after a demure shake.
"Please, have a seat Miss Doo." Mr. Coldwell motioned to a comfortable looking seat near the side of his desk. "Let's talk a little about you before we begin."
"So we first talked about my days as a yearling and about my time in Fillydelphia. Then he interviewed me about the case, and finally he recorded my statement on tape in front of his mate, a court recorder, and his secretary." Ditzy related the events of the meeting with Mr. Coldwing to Abacus when he got back from his last class of the day.
Abacus couldn’t believe she was so sparse with details. He had been thinking about this all day and could hardly wait to hear what had happened. However, Ditzy’s recounting of the events could not be any simpler. "Wow, what was Goldie’s reaction to the news?”
“Goldie said she had never heard of him taking such an interest in a client before." Ditzy answered.
"Is that good?" Abacus asked.
"She said it’s not a bad thing." Ditzy sighed, "She believes he may be getting my background for a disability discrimination suit in addition to the unlawful withholding of monies…or something." She had the look and sound of somepony trying desperately to remember and repeat information that they didn’t fully understand.
"Well," Abacus sighed with his whole body like all his expectations for the day went unmet. Ditzy certainly had no future as a storyteller. "Now after that was over with, were you able to apply at the construction office?"
"Well, yes.”
“Oh, good. How did it go?”
“I’m not sure.” Ditzy seemed to shrink where she sat. “They kept asking me to do the same things over and over.”
Abacus grimaced. That didn’t sound positive. “Hmm, like what?”
“Oh, lifting and carrying things, mostly.” Ditzy said. “Nothing hard.”
“Did you go anywhere else?” Abacus wished he didn’t sound like he was grasping for hope.
“Yes,” Ditzy answered, “I went to an employment office where they had me do some similar things, but they also gave me a written test and timed me while I put a simple frame together and took it back apart.”
Abacus tapped his hooves together thoughtfully. “It sounds like they were testing your dexterity and mechanical aptitude.”
“Yeah, I think they said something like that.” Ditzy scratched behind her ear.
“Did they tell you how well you scored?”
Ditzy looked down. “No.”
“Why didn’t you ask how well you did?”
“Because I was too scared.” Ditzy looked up at him sheepishly
Abacus put on a smile he hoped was reassuring. “Well, I’m sure that the next time you apply at a construction office, you will do much better now that you have some knowledge of what they want to see.” He noticed that Ditzy seemed to mirror his expression. A false front. Somepony really needed some good news. Or maybe, somepony just needed to get her mind off of things for a bit.
“Ditzy, how about you and I go out to dinner tonight?” Abacus asked with enthusiasm he hoped would be contagious. “I have a friend that works at a real nice restaurant downtown that owes me a favor, and I think we need to celebrate your case getting picked up and your future employment.”
Ditzy looked unsure. “Umm…isn’t it kind’a early to celebrate?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Abacus waved a hoof dismissively. “I tested your mechanical ability with the fan remember?”
“Yeah, but…”
Abacus cut off her attempt to naysay. “And your case was indeed picked up by one of the best lawyers in Manehattan, right?”
“Well, yes, but…”
Abacus interrupted her again. “And I have no doubt that you will have a real job, one that you will excel doing, by the end of this week!”
Ditzy still looked unconvinced. “I can't afford to.”
Abacus walked up to her and stroked her cheek with his hoof. “Ditzy, you deserve this. Let me treat you to a nice evening out. Okay?”
She could never say no to him. Not when he looked at her this way. Not when her stroked her cheek like this. She looked up at him with sad puppy-eyes and the reticent smile of surrender. “Okay.”
Wow, she has the market cornered on cute! The thought ran through his mind unbidden and dangerously unchecked. “Great!” Abacus energetically celebrated for them both. “Go bathe quickly, we are going to a five star restaurant uptown, so you need to dress up!”
“What? No, Abacus wait…” Ditzy tried to back down, but he was already talking over her again.
“Oh, no no no!” Abacus was wearing his victory grin. “You already agreed to go. There is no backing out now.”
Ditzy carefully examined herself in the bathroom mirror, closing one eye at a time and moving her head around to see all angles. Her mane had behaved, and her makeup hadn't clumped or smeared. She looked nice, she decided, although with the same nagging doubts that plagued her whenever she looked at herself. She smiled at her reflection.
"Wow!" Abacus' eyes went wide with amazement. Ditzy was wearing a shimmering gold dress that complimented her form and had woven a matching ribbon through her mane to bring out its color. "You look...great!"
Ditzy felt her face flush at his compliment. "Thank you. You clean up pretty well yourself." She returned the compliment of his black-on-black blazer, shirt and tie, admiring how the different textures and fabrics played with the light.
"Well, I don't think we'll be violating any dress codes." He said as he donned his black top hat and opened the door. "Shall we?"
They walked the two miles to the restaurant. The evening's chill allowing them to walk a quicker pace comfortably on the way, and when the wind blew, they pressed their bodies together for warmth. Ditzy began to like it when the wind blew.
Abacus’ friend was good to his word and as soon as they had told the maître d who had invited them, he seated them near the dance floor without any delay. A quintet of musicians were keeping the atmosphere pleasant as no ponies were currently using the dance floor.
Ditzy was overawed by the opulence of the restaurant and couldn’t keep from staring at every detail. “Wow, this place is really nice!” Ditzy remarked for the second time since they had been seated, but for the fifth time that evening.
Abacus glanced up at the ceiling and sighed. He was getting weary of her repeated observation. "Ditzy, I brought you here because I know it is really nice. I wanted to bring you someplace to celebrate."
"Oh, right." Ditzy seemed to deflate under even that mild criticism.
Abacus could have kicked himself. He knew Ditzy was going to be naive in these settings, and yet he just went and destroyed her innocent wonder with a thoughtless rebuke. His mind furiously turned over the problem of how he could get her to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening.
“Good evening, and welcome to The Silk Palace.” A familiar voice broke in. Abacus could have kissed his friend for his propitious interruption. “My name is Cymbal and I will be your server this evening…” Cymbal made eye contact with Abacus and showed recognition, but he continued in his professional manner as he handed them menus, described the soup du jour, and recommended wines. “Will you need a moment to peruse the menu?” He finished and looked at Ditzy with such a perfect balance of patience and expectation that Abacus wondered if he practiced that expression in a mirror.
Ditzy was clearly overwhelmed. “Um, why aren’t there any prices on the menu?”
“Yes, I think we will need a moment with the menu.” Abacus said before Cymbal could respond. Although to his credit, he didn’t even blink at her unorthodox question.
Cymbal turned his head to Abacus. “Very well, sir, then perhaps you could introduce me to this lovely mare here with you?”
Ditzy blushed.
“Cymbal, this is my longtime friend Ditzy from Fillydelphia. Ditzy, this is Cymbal, my first roommate, until he got kicked out of the complex for making too much noise.”
“Abacus kicked you out?” Ditzy looked horrified.
Cymbal merely smiled. “I play the drums.” He explained now without a trace of the professional server tone he had been using till now. “Abacus didn’t care, ‘cause we rarely saw each other, but our neighbors had no musical taste.”
“Oh,” Ditzy nodded with a giggle. “Are you with a band now?”
“Yeah!” delight flooded Cymbal’s face at her question, “I’m in a band called “The Cast Aways”, cause we have all been kicked out of somewhere at some time. It’s our one thing in common. We have a gig at the club Vinyl Visions. You should come and check us out.”
“Wow,” Ditzy seemed awestruck, “I’d love too!”
“Great!” Cymbal was obviously pleased. “We’re down there this Friday night at five till about seven. I hope to see you there!”
Ditzy was glowing from the attention. “I’ll be there!”
Abacus cleared his throat. “I hate to break this up…”
“Right you are sir!” Cymbal resumed his waiter role, “Does soup sound appetizing to you Miss Ditzy? The chef here tonight has prepared an amazing garden vegetable and barley soup, served with a freshly baked sourdough baguette and a crisp red lettuce salad, tossed with kiwi and dragonfruit and a raspberry vinaigrette.”
Ditzy nodded happily with a smile stretched from ear to ear. Then she blushed in embarrassment at being so uncultured. “Yes, that sounds delicious.” She said with tempered enthusiasm.
“A very good choice, Miss Ditzy. And for you sir?”
“I’ll have the grilled squash with the stuffed, fried zucchini blossoms and a waldorf salad and...” Abacus considered Ditzy a moment. “One bottle of champagne.”
“Abacus, no.” Ditzy protested. “It’s enough that you are buying me dinner.”
“Don’t worry, madam.” Cymbal assured her with a wink. “This one will be on the house.” He collected the menus and left.
Ditzy stared at Abacus . She wasn’t too happy. “I know you can't afford this. You should be spending your time and bits on Golden Sweet."
"I will be spending my bits on Goldie," Abacus responded. "Cymbal said the champagne was on the house, and he promised me he could cover me once if I came on a weekday."
Ditzy could hear a certain smugness in his reply. He felt he was right and he could prove it, either through logic, or a technicality. It was one of Abacus' annoying traits. "You think you are sooo smart." She glared at him, but her anger was leaving.
Abacus could see Ditzy losing her resolve to be petulant with him. "I know I am smart," he leaned toward her, "and I know that you are going to be successful here and one day soon, you will insist on taking me and Goldie out to a fancy restaurant dinner to celebrate a special occasion of your own."
Ditzy drew a breath at hearing him say that to her with such conviction. He sounded like he believed what he said. He sounded like he believed in her. She felt herself go weak. She was unable to speak, and for a moment, she allowed herself to dream of things she knew were impossible. For a moment, she allowed herself to imagine that she could be...Goldie.
Cymbal and another waiter returned with the champagne during her reverie. She watched as Abacus and Cymbal went through the ritual of presenting, tasting, and accepting the champagne in a dreamlike stupor. When she she at last came back to her senses, she was staring at the streams of rising bubbles in her glass. Abacus held his glass in his pastern expectantly. Ditzy felt her face flush and she picked up hers in the same manner.
"To the dreams you have," Abacus began his toast, "may they find fulfillment beyond your expectations." Ditzy felt a tinge of guilt as she clinked his glass with her own. Her dream just then would be hurtful to others if actualized, but oh! How intensely she desired to have, to own, the sentiment expressed in his toast! She brought the glass to her lips and drank. The champagne tasted to her like a faintly sweet red wine and the bubbles tickled her tongue and throat. She set her empty glass down and looked over at Abacus, whose glass was still half-full. Her eyes darted to each side and she bit her lip, fearing she had just committed a faux pas.
However, Abacus made no comment, nor did he act embarrassed. He magically picked up the bottle and refilled her glass. "He likes you."
Ditzy's eyes darted around again. "Who?"
"Cymbal of course." Abacus set the bottle back in its ice cradle and met her eyes. "He really seems interested in you. Do you like him?"
Ditzy giggled somewhat self-consciously and sipped at her champagne. "Umm, yeah, he's kind'a cute."
"Were you serious about going to see him perform?"
"Yeah! I think it would be fun, and I'd like to get to know another one of your friends."
Abacus smiled at first, but another thought caused it to fade. "Just, don't go alone, take some friends with you."
Ditzy's brow knotted in puzzlement. "Why?"
Abacus sighed deeply, like he didn't want to voice his concerns. "Right now you seem a bit too eager, and I don't want you to get hurt."
Ditzy contemplated the bubbles in her glass. "I don't understand. How would I get hurt?"
Abacus finished his champagne. "Cymbal isn't one of my friends." He announced. Ditzy looked up, shocked. "Remember? He and I were roommates. He said himself that we rarely did anything together. We just used the same space and respected each other." He refilled his glass. "But I don't know him that well. Not well enough that I consider him a friend."
"But, he's paying for our meal now. He's doing you a favor." Ditzy struggled to understand the paradox.
"Ditzy, listen," Abacus rubbed her hoof, "he's probably a good guy, and will respect you like he did me and my stuff when we were living together but, I don't know him well enough to be certain." Ditzy's eyes were focused on him, innocent and trusting, yet lacking understanding. "Just remember that, he's not me."
Ditzy nodded somberly and finished her glass, prompting Abacus to refill it. "I understand." She said when she picked it up again. "He might be like one of my mom's friends."
Abacus sighed again, wishing he could find a positive subject to stay on for the night. "I'm probably just being overly protective but, I would feel a lot better if I had known one of his fillyfriends."
"I understand," Ditzy allowed herself to smile, "you care enough to worry." Abacus felt a little uncomfortable with her conclusion, but it was true that he did care, and she was smiling again.
A sudden change in the music made them both look toward the musicians. An emerald green unicorn stallion with a black mane and tuxedo jacket was leading a lavender unicorn mare with a purple mane and white ballroom gown onto the dance floor. Upon reaching the middle of the floor, they turned and faced one another, and after a slight bow, they began to dance. They moved effortlessly across the floor, gliding and swaying in time with the music and each other. It was entrancing to see. The whole room was watching the dancers in silent envy as they melded music and motion like it was as second nature to them as breathing. When the music stopped, the dancers were locked together, embracing one another with their eyes and arms. The room broke into applause for their performance. The stallion brushed his partner's purple mane back with a hoof, and moved into its clearing to kiss his mate. Only after their shared affection did they part to acknowledge the room with a bow, and then they turned to the musicians and began to applaud themselves, prompting the audience's appreciative clopping to crescendo again.
Abacus and Ditzy were swept along with the rest of the diners and stopped their hoof-clopping only when the band began to play again. Ditzy seemed especially enthralled with the impromptu entertainment and couldn't take her attention off the dancers as they began again, albeit now with less dramatic flair. Three other couples left their tables and joined them on the dance floor causing Ditzy to sigh with the heartsick longing of a perpetual wallflower.
Abacus drained his glass. he was feeling enough of the alcohol to take this chance. He stood and held his hoof out to Ditzy. "Would you like to dance?"
Ditzy turned away from the dance floor hesitantly, like she was afraid the dancers would disappear at any moment and looked up at Abacus, her eyes showing her conflicted state. "I... I don't know how."
"I'm no expert either," Abacus confessed easily, "but I did have a few lessons, and since I'm supposed to lead, I think we could give it a shot."
“Okay.” Ditzy reached and took his hoof in hers, allowing him to her to pull her up to standing.
They walked onto the dance floor, both of them watching the other couples for clues as to how they should proceed. Once there, they assumed their positions and Abacus quickly went over the step pattern. “Ready?” He asked.
Ditzy nodded, even though she knew she wasn’t ready, but neither did she want to just stand there until she felt like she was.
“Okay then. One two three. One two three. Step!” Abacus counted off the beats like he remembered and then on his command to step, he stepped forward. He didn’t expect them to be smooth, neither did he expect to not occasionally trip on her hooves. Indeed, those errors he anticipated, but he could not have foreseen how badly they would fare from the first step. Ditzy also stepped forward on his command and they collided. Ditzy’s larger, quicker step bounced him backwards and off-balance into the middle of the dance floor where he, with his forelimbs flailing, knocked another couple to the floor. The music stopped abruptly and there were horrified gasps from all over the restaurant. Ditzy had her hooves over her muzzle, aghast at the latest horrible accident she had caused. Abacus dropped to all fours turned around. There, at his hooves the emerald green unicorn stallion and his partner the lavender unicorn mare were untangling themselves.
“I’m sorry!” Ditzy apologized loudly, frantically, as though she felt like she needed to quickly apologize to everypony there before they had a chance to retaliate.
“No, I’m sorry.” Abacus held out his hoof to help them up. “It’s my fault, I thought I could teach her how to dance.”
“Well then, I guess I have you to thank.” The emerald green stallion said without a trace of sarcasm as he and his mate got to their hooves. “I am Happenstance, an instructor in the art of dancing in its many forms at the Happenstance Studio. You sir, have just provided everypony the reason why they should visit me first.” There were titters of laughter from around the room. “Now, if your lovely companion doesn’t mind, I shall give you one free lesson tonight on the waltz.” He stretched a hoof toward Ditzy in invitation.
Ditzy held back, still reticent from the awful introduction to dancing she had just experienced tried to decline. “I… I don’t think I should Happenstance,”
“Please call me Hap.” Happenstance interrupted. “Miss..?”
“I… I’m Ditzy Doo.”
“Well Miss Doo, you would be doing me a great favor if you accept this lesson. Will you give me the honor of properly instructing you on how to dance the waltz?”
Still uncertain, but wanting to help him, she held out her hoof with some trepidation. “Okay.” There were smatterings of applause after she accepted.
“Ready now for your lesson, sir?” Hap’s mate the lavender unicorn mare approached Abacus. “My name is Serene.”
“Abacus.” He introduced himself. “Sorry for the mishap.”
“No worries, Abacus. Just pay attention, and do everything I say.”
Their lesson began with a quick demonstration of the steps as the band resumed playing. Then they with their dancing partner went through the rest of that waltz with their instructor giving coaching advice as they went. Once that song had finished, Ditzy and Abacus were re-united and they danced the next waltz together under the watchful eyes of Hap and Serene who would voice corrections as they saw fit. Finally, they danced through the third song as Hap and Serene waltzed nearby and watched them as they had opportunity. After the third song ended, Hap and Serene began applauding.
“Bravo, well done!” Hap declared and turned to the room. “Fillies and Gentlecolts, may I present to you, the two most recent graduates of Happenstance Studio’s basic waltz course: Mr. Abacus and his partner, the lovely Miss Ditzy.”
Ditzy blushed brightly from the unexpected attention as the room and other dancers applauded them. Abacus too, felt a keen discomfort with being thrust into the spotlight, but he had the presence of mind to bow graciously and led Ditzy to do the same.
“Did you enjoy yourselves?” Hap asked after the musicians started up again.
“Oh, yes!” Ditzy answered instantly, seeming radiant with excitement. “I did! Thank you, sooo much!”
“Well, we would like to thank you. Our little tangle on the floor allowed us a little advertising opportunity.” Serene explained. “I hope you didn’t mind us putting you both on the spot like that?”
“I think our free lesson was worth it.” Abacus exhaled like he was still trying to expel the stage fright.
“It was worth it! Thank you!” Ditzy leapt forward and embraced Hap. A bright flash lit up the whole room just then, startling everypony. Ditzy jumped back with her ears laid back in fright. She must have done something wrong again. “I’m sorry!” She cowered before them.
Serene looked just as shocked as everypony else. “Hap! Your horn! Is this a…”
“Yes, darling.” Hap answered her unfinished question. “Miss Ditzy has triggered a prophecy.”
“A what?” Abacus asked in wonder.
“Quiet.” Hap commanded. “Just watch. I’ll explain later.” He looked down at Ditzy, still half-crouched in fear. “You didn’t do anything wrong, young mare.” Hap reassured her. “Stand up and watch closely, this is for you.”
After the flash and during their short conversation, Hap’s horn started shooting out tiny glowing bits of light that began to form a hollow sphere just in front of them at eye level. Then, a stream of bright white, brick-red and concrete-grey particles flowed from his horn to the bottom of the sphere where they entered the sphere like they were growing up from the bottom in a recognizable pattern.
“Amazing! That’s the Manehattan skyline!” Serene exclaimed, clearly excited at seeing for herself what had only been explained to her before.
“Darling, please.” Hap admonished her gently.
Ditzy stood and stepped forward, clearly enthralled with the magic scene unfolding in front of her. The particles inside the sphere moved like a wind had blown out in all directions from the center. The effect looked to Ditzy like she was zooming toward the building in the middle of it all until that brick building was the only building left in the sphere. It was a little disorienting to see movement when she was standing still.
“Do you recognize this building?” Hap asked.
Ditzy amazed at what she was witnessing, nodded once, then answered, her voice just above a whisper. “That’s Abacus’ apartment building.”
Another stream of gray flowed in from the bottom to coalesce into ball on top of the building. The ball morphed into a gray pegasus that lept into the air. At least, that was the action the pegasus made, but the gray pegasus figure never left the center of the sphere. All the particles around it moved and fell away to give the appearance of motion.
“Ditzy, What direction are you flying?” Hap asked.
West
“Huh?” Ditzy responded not to Hap, but to the voice she thought she just heard. She couldn’t take her eyes off the pegasus figure. Entralled, she watched as it shrank to a gray dot that trailed a stream of tiny white lights in the sphere like a wind was blowing them away.
“Away…” Ditzy said trancelike. “I’m flying away.”
A stream of white and red light now streamed from Hap’s horn. The white pushed in from the bottom side in waves and forming shapes as they entered the sphere. The gray dot now appeared to be flying over rolling hills and trees. Then a small collection of buildings formed and moved into the scene which stopped suddenly under the gray dot. The stream of white lights the gray dot had been trailing evaporated. For a moment there was no motion. Then the red particles flowed into the scene, growing up from the center of the city into one ball, which then split perfectly down the middle to form two red balls, each the same size as the first. The white sphere which contained the scene, shrank down to merge with the gray dot which formed into the pegasus figure again. Now there was only the two red balls and the gray pegasus figure hovering in air. The two red balls now flew up the pegasus figure, their bottoms stretched out into points forming two upside-down red teardrops. These merged in front of the pegasus figure to form the symbolic heart shape.
“Achoo!” Ditzy suddenly sneezed violently, dispelling the remaining magical figures.
“No!” Hap exclaimed. Then he sighed. “It wasn’t finished.”
“Sorry.” Ditzy said as she rubbed her muzzle. “Those lights tickled my nose.”
“Can you start it again?” Serene asked her husband.
Hap shook his head. “No. I have no control over it.”
All around them the restaurant seemed to give a collective sigh. Abacus looked around at all the ponies returning their attention back to their own affairs and chuckled lightly “It appears we weren’t the only ones captivated by this little light show.”
Hap looked over at Abacus. “These ‘little light shows’ as you call them, have all been fulfilled.” He said, obviously annoyed. “And what’s even more serious is, they have all come just before the recipient experienced a tragic event or a difficult circumstance.”
Hap and Serene looked somberly over at Ditzy. “I don’t what to tell you, young mare. I do know that everypony that received a prophecy suffered some terrible occurrence shortly thereafter. However, they also found great encouragement from their prophecy to push through."
At first, Ditzy blankly returned their grave expressions. Then the realization of what they had just told her sunk in. Her face slid from a neutral expression to one of absolute horror like fire crawling across a field of dry grass. “You… You mean… Something… Bad… is about to happen to me again ?!” Ditzy looked like an oft beaten puppy.
“No, Ditzy.” Abacus interjected, putting his hoof on her shoulder and casting an irritated glance at Hap and Serene. “You’ve had your bad event, and now you’re overcoming it. That’s what I saw in that ‘little light show’.”
Hap inhaled fiercely and brought his head up at Abacus’ clearly demeaning remark. Serene lay her hoof against his shoulder like a restraint. “Hap, what should Ditzy remember from this, IF , something else bad happens?”
Hap relaxed slightly, reminding himself that Abacus wasn’t the one that he needed to deal with. “Ditzy, your prophecy says that, if you feel like you should leave, to fly in the direction or manner you were told. In your prophecy, the place where you stopped was in white, which means you haven’t seen it before. But you will find…” Hap looked like he was struggling with something in his mind. “...either something, or someone. I don’t know for sure. It wasn’t finished, but, red speaks of passion. You will find something or someone who is your passion. It could be a job, a future mate, or just a place you love to be.” Hap looked up at Abacus. “Is that alright with you?”
Abacus nodded. He didn’t want to fight. But he also didn’t want Ditzy upset about a phantom tragedy when he was trying to lift her spirits.
Ditzy nodded as well. “With your other prophesies, and something bad happened to the pony, how soon did it happen?”
“The time is not important.” Hap explained, “However, eveypony recognized after the event occurred that the prophecy was their answer.
Ditzy’s eyes went wide. “Everypony had something really bad happen?”
Hap nodded. “Without fail.”
Ditzy swallowed.
“Pardon me,” Cymbal interrupted just then. “Your dinner is ready to be served.”
Abacus began to wonder if Cymbal was his good luck charm. His knack for showing up at the right moment was spot on. “Great, I’m famished!” He turned to Ditzy. “I know you are going to love this.”
“Young mare,” Hap called her again. Ditzy turned her head and resisted Abacus’ attempts to steer her away. “Remember, this is an encouragement. You shouldn’t live in fear.”
Abacus had an inspiration on how to turn Ditzy’s thoughts back from the depressing direction they had taken. He stepped toward Hap and extended a hoof. “Thank you, again for the dance lesson, it was a great time.”
Ditzy stepped up too and held out her hoof. “Yes, thank you. You helped me fill a wish of mine.”
Hap and Serene shook hooves with them and exchanged polite farewells. “Come on Ditzy, let’s eat.” Abacus steered her back to their table where Cymbal stood by with their dinners under silver covers. Abacus held Ditzy’s chair and seated her properly. Then he pulled out a gold centurion: a one hundred bit piece, and placed it in Cymbal’s coat pocket. “Get me another bottle of wine.” He whispered urgently in Cymbal’s ear as he arranged Ditzy’s plates in front of her. Then he went to his own seat.
Dinner was excellent, as he expected, and Ditzy didn’t seem to notice that they weren’t drinking champagne anymore. Soon that bottle too was empty. Now with the effects of inebriation, and with Abacus’ careful management of their conversation, they were both having the time of their lives. They even ventured back out onto the dance floor when the band started another waltz. Abacus couldn’t tell exactly how Ditzy was feeling, but he knew he was numb. If he missed a step and kicked her hoof, he didn’t feel it, and neither did she.
They came back to their table to find it cleared of all dinner dishes and a glass of clear liquid with three coffee beans floating inside at each of their seats. Abacus sat and picked it up without delay. Ditzy was giggly and poking at the beans with a hoof. “Whatev’r do you thing it is?” Ditzy slurred happily.
“I’z a nightcap, I think.” Abacus wasn’t doing much better. He sniffed at it. It smelled of alcohol. He sipped at it. “Licorice.” He declared. “Ditzy, try it, it tastes just like licorice!”
Ditzy lifted the glass to her lips and tilted her head back a bit too quickly. The liquid streamed out both sides of her mouth. Causing her to burst out laughing.
Cymbal and another waiter walked quickly up to their table. “Is everything alright, madam?” He asked.
Ditzy was in hysterics and couldn’t answer. Abacus was laughing as well and couldn’t understand why his friend was worried.
Cymbal swore under his breath. “You both are lightweights. I need to get you out of here!” He motioned to the other waiter. “Reserve a cab.” The other pony nodded and left. Then he looked at Abacus. “Can you walk?”
“Nope, but we can dance!” Abacus deadpanned, and sent Ditzy into another bout of uncontrolled laughing.
Braced by Cymbal and another waiter, they slowly made their way out of the restaurant and into the waiting cab. Where they soon found themselves in another fit of uncontrolled laughing.
“Hey, cabbie!” Abacus called after he caught his breath. “Jus’ drop us off at the park an’ we’ll walk the res’ of the way home.”
The cabbie shook his head. “You yearlings just keep having fun back there, I’ll have you home in a minute.”
"But we don’ wanna go home!” Ditzy whined. “I don’t want to go sleep. I’m not tired!”
The cabbie looked back with a concerned smile. “I just want to get you two home safely. I’m not sending you to bed. You can stay up as late as you want, okay?”
“Okay mommy.” Ditzy sighed dramatically. That set them both off laughing again. They laughed the rest of the way to the apartment building.
The cabbie helped them both out of his cab without incident. He apparently was practiced with assisting drunk ponies. Once again he admonished them to go straight to their home and made them promise that they would. Abacus thanked and tipped the cabbie and walked Ditzy to the stairs. They laughed and stumbled all the way to his room. Once there, fitting the key into the lock became a source of amusement as they each took turns. Finally, the neighbor across the hall came out and opened their door for them.
Once inside, Abacus closed the door and locked it. He set the key on the small stand near the door and turned to see Ditzy swaying on her hooves. He laughed. “You look like you are still dancing.”
“I do not!” Ditzy stamped her hoof and nearly tipped over. She laughed again. She felt like she had never laughed so much before in her life.
“Yes you do.” Abacus insisted. He walked over and picked her forelegs up in his own. “One more time, Okay?”
Ditzy felt like she should just go to bed. She hesitated, trying to focus on Abacus. She couldn’t focus on anything. It was starting to worry her. “I don’t know.”
Abacus smiled and held her muzzle up with his hoof. “Com’on, it’ll be fun!”
She never could say no to him. “Okay!” She giggled.
“That’s my filly!” He said excitedly. “And one two three, one two three” He counted and they went through the steps.
Ditzy started giggling again. It was fun. Like she was floating, spinning, weightless, and without a care in the world. Abacus’ face came into focus. This was all because of him. She was having the best night of her life and it was all because of him! She threw her head back and shouted, “Best night ever!” Then she brought her head forward and kissed him!
Author's Note
Warning!
This chapter is 'Dark'.
I have avoided graphic details and language, but please do not read if you are easily offended.
Shattered
Cold.
Ditzy’s first conscious thought was about how cold she was. Her realization of other discomforts followed shortly afterward. Her head throbbed. Her body ached. “Ohhh!” She moaned. Her throat burned and her mouth tasted terrible. She opened her eyes. It was dark. Very dark. Too dark to tell where she was. She shifted her position. Her hooves weren’t pressing on a mattress or a soft cushion. She was lying on the floor. No wonder her body ached. She moved her rear legs to stand.
“Yeow!” She yelped in response to a sudden, sharp pain stabbing under her tail that was unlike any she had ever felt before. “Ooooh, Where am I?” She thought aloud. She felt around again. She was lying on a shag rug and blanketed with what felt like bath towels. She must be in the bathroom.
Why am I in the bathroom?
Ditzy moved to stand carefully, mindful of the pain she felt before. However, there wasn’t another sharp pang on movement, now she just felt a soreness between her hind legs. Now fully standing, she took a small step. Her stomach lurched, causing her to stop, but it settled just as quickly. “Okay, where’s the light switch?” Ditzy whispered as she prodded slowly forward with her fore hoof. She located the switch and flipped it up.
“Ahrrhhh!” Ditzy growled as she shut her eyes as tightly as she could and turned her head towards the floor until the pain subsided. It felt like it was needles and not light that had entered her eyes. She blinked experimentally until she was sure she could tolerate the light. She lifted her head and looked in the mirror. Her reflection was horrible enough to make her want to immediately turn the light back off. Her mane had the wild, lopsided appearance of having been washed, violently toweled without being brushed afterward and then left to dry where she laid sleeping. Puffy bags framed her bloodshot eyes and the right side of her face bore the imprints of the shag rug like a hideous tribal tattoo. The impossible had been achieved: She looked even worse than she felt.
With a sigh, Ditzy turned on the water and splashed her face, hoping the coolness might ease the horrible pounding behind her eyes. Next she stuck her muzzle under the cool stream and drank a few gulps to alleviate the sour taste in her mouth and her sore throat. Then she picked up a brush and started taming the tangled blonde mess on her head. “Okay, I know you came home drunk…” Ditzy talked to her reflection as she began trying to piece together what happened last night and why she was sleeping in the bathroom. “After we finally got inside his room, we had one last dance and then…” She stopped brushing. “And then what?” She couldn’t remember. “Well, you know you are in the bathroom,” she told the bathroom mirror as started brushing again, “and you know that you bathed, so…. I must have wanted a bath before going to bed.” So far, everything sounded reasonable, but, nothing explained why she fell asleep here on the floor. She touched the imprints of the shag rug on her face like she needed to check their authenticity. Yes, she had definitely fallen asleep on the rug. The imprint was still palpable and sensitive.
“So why then, did I decide to fall asleep in here instead of on the couch?” Ditzy whispered her thoughts. Her reflection looked every bit as puzzled as she felt. Maybe she had passed-out? She thought. It was possible, but the lights were out. So, unless she took her bath in the dark, she couldn’t have simply passed-out. She set down her brush. Her mane wasn’t laying down nicely, but it wasn’t tangled anymore. She turned and picked the towels off the floor and hung them properly on rack. That done, she took another look around.
There was nothing else on the floor.
That’s it! Her mind exulted as a possible scenario played in her mind. She must have taken her dress off outside the bathroom and in her drunken state, forgotten that she wasn’t wearing an undertail. Most mares went without wearing the close fitting color-matched garment that covered their privates whenever they wore clothing that completely covered their backside. There was no need for it to preserve modesty when she was wearing her full length dress, and its absence simplified using the toilet when nature called. Ditzy laughed at herself even as she felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. She hoped that she hadn’t given Abacus too much of a show when she dropped her dress outside the door. That answered the last riddle. She must have decided to sleep in here because she was too embarrassed to go out naked with Abacus in the next room.
Satisfied that she had solved the mystery, Ditzy shut off the light and allowed her eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness before she unlocked and opened the bathroom door as quietly as she could. Light from Luna’s waning moon shone through the lone window to the apartment, bathing everything in the room with soft silver highlights. It was just enough light to see across the room where Abacus snored, sound asleep on his bed. She stepped out and found her saddle bags and backpack there by the door and pulled out a clean undertail and quickly put it on. Now that she wasn’t naked anymore, she looked about her for the dress she knew should be there.
But, there were no clothes anywhere near the bathroom door.
The throbbing in her head grew worse, forcing Ditzy to close her eyes and rub her temples. “Ugh!” She moaned through clenched teeth that began to chatter, reminding her how cold she was. Her mind and body seemed to be uniting against her solving this new mystery. She had better just forget about the dress until morning and go to sleep.
Ditzy unfolded the quilt on the couch and spread it out. Then she crawled under it and sighed contentedly as her body finally began to feel warmth. A particularly loud snore from Abacus just before she could approach the doorway to dreamland made her look over at him. Her night vision now allowing her to see clearly enough that she could discern his prone form and notice that he wasn’t under any covers. Sighing loudly, she thrust aside her quilt before her mind could protest and walked to the foot of his bed where he had apparently kicked the quilt and bed linens. She gathered the edges of the blankets in her muzzle and pulled them carefully up and over his body to his chin. Satisfied that he could now sleep contentedly the rest of the night, she walked around the foot of his bed, got her hooves caught up in some clothing discarded there, tripped, and fell on her muzzle.
“Oh! Oww!” Ditzy couldn’t help but exclaim to the unexpected stumble and subsequent face plant. She sniffed experimentally to see if her nose was bleeding. No, it seemed clear. Just another typical fall for her, painful, but she emerges uninjured. For a moment she lay still and listened to Abacus’ slow and deep breaths. She hadn’t disturbed him, so now she turned her attention to the fabric that caught her hooves. Even in the dark she could see that it was a shimmery gold colored material with pleats. It was her missing dress. As soon as the identity of the mystery fabric had settled in her mind, another much smaller and darker colored cloth became apparent. Her hoof was trembling as she picked up the other cloth by an exposed strap. Although was her trembling because of the cold, or because of fear she could not say. The cloth in her hoof obligingly unraveled with no further prompting from her. It was Abacus’ undertail, and it had been laying… Ditzy’s eyes went wide and she sucked in a shocked breath at the revelation. Abacus’ undertail was laying ON TOP OF HER DRESS!
She tossed the untertail like it had just become red hot. “No!” she whispered pleadingly to the night air. “No, I didn’t, I… I wouldn’t!” She looked over to Abacus still sound asleep. He… He wouldn’t! It was impossible! She knew they wouldn’t! They just… wouldn’t!
Sleep, she knew, was going to be impossible until she had settled this one last thing in her mind. Events from last night began to surface in her memory like debris from a tragedy at sea. Ditzy fought against accepting the horrid story they told. Those were just scattered fragments, she reasoned, and some scenes could be invented by her imagination still running wild. She got to her hooves, collected her dress and packed it in her saddlebag. Now she turned to face Abacus one more time. She stood still and took a moment to steel her resolve. She had to check. One. More. Thing.
Abacus was sleeping on the far side of the bed from her. She stepped up to the side of the bed. With a hoof, she picked up the covers about midway up the bed and exposed the fitted mattress cover. Farther and farther, she moved the covers back till the moonlight’s glow revealed a glimmering but dark discoloration on the fitted bed sheet. Ditzy reached out with her other forehoof and touched the spot. It was wet. She bit her lip. Now aware that she wasn't breathing, she threw the covers off Abacus’ hips. What she saw left no further room for doubt in her mind. Bile raced up her throat and forced her to cover her mouth and run for the bathroom where she began to retch over the toilet. Little more followed however, as she now remembered having already disgorged the contents of her stomach earlier in the night. She spit a few times trying to clear the sour taste of bile, but it refused to leave so easily. Similarly, the bitter memories from last night’s events continued returning and reforming in her mind.
Ditzy fell back on her haunch, swaying like a tree in high winds. Tears fell down her checks as she began to interrogate herself. What had she done?! How did she let this happen?! In the face of such severe questioning, Ditzy caved, hung her head guiltily, and answered. “I kissed him.” At her admission, the scene replayed.
They were spinning. Wild and free. She had never felt so alive, never felt so happy! A wild idea formed in her head of how to show Abacus how much she appreciated everything he had done. She wanted it to be fun. Playful. Just a simple peck on his cheek. Maybe his lips. But it was just going to be quick and friendly. Yes! She was going to do it! She yelled something. Something about how much fun she was having. Then she brought her head forward for the planned quick, friendly kiss. But they were off balance. Abacus had backed into his couch and fell backwards. Their mouths opening in surprise. He still held her, drawing her to land on top of him. And she kissed him. It surprised them both. She wasn’t able to make it a quick and friendly kiss. As she was pressed against him, it quickly morphed into something so much more intense.
In her mind, another older memory ran in parallel to the one she recently recovered. Here she heard one of her mother’s rants. “You are going to go and get pregnant by that Abacus colt! I know you are, because that’s what stupid little fillies like you do!"
“Ditzy, you have been naughty!” Ditzy accused herself mercilessly. “How could you do this to Abacus and Golden? And after they had been so nice to you? Why did you go and get in the way?” She began to sob now. She didn't mean to, it was an accident. But she refused to forgive herself. Abacus was going to be angry with her in the morning, and she knew what happened to naughty fillies when stallions got mad. “Bad, stupid, Ditzy! This is all your fault! And you know what you need to do now. You know what has to happen to bad little fillies. And crying about it isn’t going to help.” Ditzy repressed her sobs as best as she could so she would be able do what she knew she had to do. She picked herself up from the floor and made her way into the kitchen where she found the utility drawer. She didn’t have to pick through it very long before she found what she needed.
Abacus woke up to his alarm clock feeling sick and drained. Moaning, he pressed his hooves to his forehead as he rolled onto his back. An unfamiliar sensation caused him to open his eyes in shock. Was he...? He lifted up the covers and stared at his midsection. He was…! Quickly, he brought the covers back down to his chin. No memory of last night was forthcoming. Or rather, he corrected himself, no memory of what happened after dinner was forthcoming. A series of sharp pangs hit his forehead and forced him to squint against the pain. Hoping it was because of the noise, he reached over and silenced his alarm clock. Ditzy’s wild blonde mane peeked out from under her quilt and caught his eye as he did so. “Ditzy?” Her mane seemed to tremble at the sound of her name and retreat slowly under the quilt. Abacus felt his heart sink at her reaction. This didn’t bode well. “Ditzy?” he said her name now with more command in his voice. Her mane trembled again, then her head slowly peeked out from under her cover. She wouldn’t look at him. Abacus’ mouth went dry. “Ditzy, what happened last night?”
Ditzy winced at the question like it was a slap to her cheek. “Look under the covers.” She said in a brittle voice.
Abacus pulled the covers off the bed and sucked in a breath that seemed to stop his heart. There, in the center of the mattress was the tell-tale stain that bore mute testimony to a violent deflowering. Abacus felt like he was only an observer in his own body as he watched with his eyes wide open with fear as his hoof moved down his barrel to poke at his sheath. The tip of his hoof pulled out a drop of viscous fluid, stretching it out like a thread. His eyes darted to Ditzy. She had been watching him and she looked down. She didn’t avert her eyes like she was embarrassed, Abacus noted, she looked down. His eyes went back to the stain, then again to his hoof, then again to Ditzy. Stain. Hoof. “Oh no!” he said as realization dawned on him. “Oh no, no No NO!” Abacus stood and threw his pillow against the wall.
Ditzy started crying and tossed something on the bed. “I’m sorry, Abacus. I'm so sorry! I know what you have to do now. Just don’t use it on my back if you want me to leave today.” Ditzy said through repressed sobs as she stood and walked to his bed.
Abacus puzzled over the object Ditzy tossed at him. “Ditzy, what is this?” He picked up the wooden spoon with a hoof to find a length of electrical wire attached to one end.
“And don’t hit me under my tail, ‘cause I still hurt there.” Ditzy now streatched herself out on the bed leaving only her hindquarters off.
Abacus dropped the spoon, horrified at what she was suggesting. “Good heavens, Ditzy! This is a whip!”
Ditzy wasn’t paying any attention to him at all. She kept going on directing him. “And don’t call me any hurtful names. I don’t want to hear you call me any hurtful names.”
Abacus charged around the bed and picked Ditzy up off the bed by her forearm with his hoof. “Ditzy calm down!” He said hoping to end her monologue.
But his actions had a deleterious effect, and Ditzy became hysterical. “No! Don’t hit me with your hooves! Don’t hit my face! I don’t want you to hit me with your hooves! Use the whip! Please use the whip!" Abacus struggled with her as she flailed about trying to break his grasp. He tried to shush her, calm her, but nothing was working. In desperation, he finally wrapped his forelegs around her and just held on.
Ditzy struggled for a while more, but then just went limp and wept. Abacus held her close to him, wishing he wasn’t naked as the led her to sit with him on the couch. He held her tightly, with his neck pressed against hers, staring far away over her shoulder as he waited for this storm to pass. His memory was a blank. He had no recollection of what happened after they got home. But he didn’t need a memory to tell him what had happened. He had the physical evidence. He had a shattered life in his arms. He knew the psychology of traumatized fillies. That was all he needed. Ditzy’s prophecy was one of the events he could recall clearly, and he cursed Happenstance for being right. Something terrible had happened to Ditzy, and he was the cause.
He had raped her.
Fly West, Little Gray Mare.
He had just missed his stop. He had been lost in thought again on the subway and the doors had closed on him just as he realized he was at his stop, trapping him on-board for another mile. Abacus silently swore at himself as the train began moving again. Briefly, he considered just catching the return train at the next stop, but he reminded himself that it was the inactivity that was paralyzing him. He needed to keep moving to keep himself from slipping into that stare that started with a dark thought about recent events or possible near future, and then just sank into depressive brooding.
Life goes on . He didn’t think Ticker Tape was being trite when he had offered that cliché like a sage. He was sure he could hear Ticker’s genuine concern about his circumstance. When he was actually listening to him. But now, he felt as beaten down as a wilted plant in a torrential rain. He was living, but he couldn’t keep his head up, and his thoughts were driven down again and again, to wallow in the mud.
Ditzy sat on her haunch on the landing to Abacus’ floor like the journey she had just taken down the hall from his room to the stairwell had drained her. She couldn't stay here any longer, she reminded herself. But where was she to go? As much as she hated the thought, it seemed that going back to Fillydelphia was her only option. She couldn't afford to stay anywhere in Manehattan. That much she knew. She didn't really have any other close friends. None that she felt were close enough for her to just drop in and ask them to take her in. She had just lost her one friend she knew she could count on. And Golden would hate her if she ever found out what she had done. So in less than one week, she had lost her two best friends, her apartment, her job, her virginity, and her fragile but growing sense of independence. Ditzy’s heart seemed to sink ever lower in her chest as she counted her failures and drew her hopeless conclusions. She may as well go back to Fillydelphia and living with her mom. Her mom told her how she could make some quick money. She told her that stallions always pay more for new and young faces. All she had to do was stand still and raise her tail. The lump in her throat made swallowing as painful as it was difficult as she considered that fate. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad, she tried to convince herself. After all, it wasn't like she had anything more to lose. She already felt like a dirty whore, so she might as well make some bits. She might even be surprised at what stallions thought that she was worth. She put her hooves up onto guardrail and rested her chin on her fetlocks. Her eyes focused far beyond the grey concrete wall of the stairwell to her imagined future in Fillydelphia. A tear slid down her cheek and fell eight floors to splash unnoticed on the cold hard stone of the Manhattan apartment building.
The doors had barely opened when he very nearly leapt through them at the next stop. He was running for the stairs to get back up to street level as fast as he could manage and not run anypony over in the process. Once back on the sidewalk however, the amount of ponies there prevented him from safely running and he was forced to walk again. Fortunately, this was Manehattan, and the collective pace was quick. When his apartment building finally came in view, he chanced a canter through the other pedestrians to relieve his anxiety.
“No.” Ditzy whispered aloud to the vile scene she imagined. She knew she couldn't do it, couldn't let just any stallion touch her. She would cry, and probably vomit. That would make the stallion mad, and then he would hurt her and call her names. The pain in her throat was unbearable now as she swallowed her next thought. She was such a failure, she couldn't even be a whore. More tears fell from her cheeks to splatter on the ground far below, whispering their solution to her situation as they dropped.
It will only hurt for a moment, and then you won’t hurt anymore.
“I’m coming for you, Ditzy!” Abacus said aloud to himself as he burst through the front door and made for the stairs like a firepony charging into a burning building to save a trapped soul.
A door slam echoed through the stairway from the bottom floor, jarring Ditzy out of her dark contemplation. The sound of heavy, rapid hoofclops coming up the steps told her some stallion was in a hurry to get somewhere. Hearing that activity stirred her into motion. There was no sense in her putting it off any longer, and she didn’t want to chance meeting any stallion right now. She sniffed, rubbed her nose with a fetlock and got to her hooves. As she did, the warm glow of natural light from the top of the stairwell caught her eye. She knew she was only two floors away from the roof, but eight above the ground floor. Normally, access to the roof is not open to tenants, but maybe somepony left the door open. If the door was indeed open, she could end this now. But if it was locked, it was no great loss, she could wait there until the pony left, and she wouldn’t mind delaying her final trip a few more minutes if it meant avoiding the stallion below, who was still running up the steps like somepony’s life depended on him. As quietly as she could, she began ascending toward the light.
He had never been able to run up all eight floors before. But, he rarely had a reason to try. Now, even though he felt like his lungs would burst, he rounded the seventh floor landing still at a gallop, determined to walk only after he was through the door to the hallway of his floor. He would walk then, and catch his breath. Then, hopefully, they could find some way for them to help each other. Because, that’s what friends do.
Ditzy reached the top of the stairway to find the door leading to the roof had several layers of industrial gray tape covering the latch, and preventing the door from completely closing. She peeked through the crack to see if anypony was up there, but she couldn’t see much. She turned her ear toward the door, but she couldn’t hear any voices, or any sounds beyond the wind. It seemed unoccupied. She must be alone. A few floors below her, she heard the slam of a door. The stallion must have reached his destination. And so had she. With a sigh, she pushed open the door, wincing at the shriek of the rusty hinges. Quickly she stepped through and closed the door behind her. She had only one thing left to do now.
Breathless and spent, Abacus slammed headlong into the door to the eighth floor hallway, finding out at that moment that he was too exhausted to even use his magic to open a door. He had wait there till he could gather his strength. As he stood there panting, gasping and dripping sweat, he heard the opening and closing of a door with squeaky hinges above him. Some part of his mind thought that was odd. But his horn glowed in readiness after his next few breaths. He opened the door to his hallway and walked through.
“Strange.” Ditzy thought as she looked around her. She had never remembered flags at the top of this building before. Of course, she hadn’t flown up here very often, but these were large enough to be seen from street level. If anypony bothered to look. But here, nopony bothered to gawk at the heights of buildings. There were no tourists in this area. So it was a mystery to her why anypony would fly a flag here. And stranger still, all of the flags were a uniform dark blue and without emblem, stripes, or even pattern. Indeed, the flags seemed to be a reflection of her mood: dark, melancholy, hopeless.
She shook her head. Ponies did strange things in this town. There was no sense in her trying to reason it out. She walked to the edge of the roof next to one of the flags and propped her fore hooves up on the low ledge. It was her tears in the stairwell that gave her the idea. That and her backpack. She had a rough landing once, and she could have one again. She turned her head and bit the backpack’s strap clasp, loosening the strap on her left side. Nopony would think it was intentional. It would be obvious that she had been careless and gotten her wing caught in the loose strap just like she had happen to her once before. But now it would be from eleven stories up, and onto hard pavement below. Not even she could walk away from this. Maybe somepony would even see her spiraling out-of-control just before she hit. It would just be a tragic accident. Nopony would blame themselves. And she wouldn’t hurt anymore, or be in anypony’s way, or make any more messes that hurt little colts.
All that pain could end here… Now.
Abacus reached his room and knocked on his door. “Ditzy?” He said after hearing nothing in response. He knocked again. “Ditzy, it’s me, Abacus.” Still no response. With a sigh he fished into his saddlebags with his muzzle for his key and opened his door. The chain wasn’t on, and neither was the bolt closed. His blood ran cold. “Ditzy!” He called again as he threw open his door and ran to the bathroom. It was empty. “Ditzy!” He shouted to his empty room. There were really no places to hide, yet he frantically looked behind the kitchen counter, around the couch, to the opposite side of his bed, then even behind the door. She was gone. And so too were her saddlebags and backpack. A piece of paper on the counter now screamed for his attention. That was the only thing that looked out of place. He ran over and snatched it with his hooves and sucked in a breath as he read.
Abacus,
I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I got in the way of you and Golden, and I’m so sorry about that. I’m leaving so I won’t be in the way anymore.
Fillydelphia isn’t so bad. I’ll find something to do there that even I can’t mess up.
Tell Golden thanks for putting up with me and for trying to help me with my landlord. And I thank you too for trying your best to help me.
I’m sorry that I could never be the friend to you that you were to me. I hope that someday, you can forgive me.
Ditzy
Abacus looked up from the note and saw his bed, clean and turned down. There, in the center was a patch of washed-out, faded color where he knew that rusty brown stain should be. It seemed that Ditzy had cleaned up his mess this time. He looked to her note again and now two words jumped out at him: ‘I’m sorry. ’
He swooned and fell back on his haunch as a realization hit him. “I never told her I was sorry.”
He felt as if everypony in Equestria were suddenly present in his room, glaring at him with full knowledge of his contemptible omission. He had never assumed any responsibility for last night. Right now Ditzy was out there somewhere, unfairly burdened by all the guilt that was his alone to bear. “I never said I was sorry.” He repeated out loud like he was confessing his sin. “Why didn’t I at least tell her, I was sorry?” There was no answer. He sat in stunned disbelief, unable to even recognize himself. The last line of Ditzy’s note became his as he called out to her from the depths of his soul. “Ditzy, I hope that someday you can forgive me!”
“Remember,” Ditzy told herself as she closed her eyes, leaned forward, and felt her last tear roll down her cheek. “It will only hurt for a moment, and then, I won’t hurt anymore.” She could feel herself almost at her tipping point. Her hind hooves were getting light and her wings popped out instinctively. All she had to do now, was…
“Freeze!” Shocked, Ditzy obeyed the voice without question.
“Lift your chin.” The voice commanded her. Ditzy immediately did as she was told.
“Hold there.” The voice said. Ditzy thought she could hear clicking sounds. “Move slowly when I tell you to move.” The voice demanded. “Now bring your chin down into your chest.” Ditzy did as she had been instructed and brought her head down slowly, as if she were falling asleep.
“Stop there.” Ditzy stopped. She heard more clicks. What is that noise? Who is talking to her? She turned her head toward the voice.
“Don’t look at me!” the voice ordered. Ditzy’s shock gave way to puzzlement. But the voice was authoritative, male, and uncompromising. Every fiber in her was compelled to obey. She snapped back to her previous position. “Good. Now, lower your chin again. Stop.” Another click. “Lower… Stop.” Another click.
“Good. Now open your eyes and look up to the sky like you are searching for hope.” That wasn’t a difficult pose or emotion for her to emulate. More clicks. “Great!” The male voice sounded pleased with her! Now, she wanted to please him. She set aside her questions and concentrated on following his every direction to the letter. They were issued in rapid succession and followed by the strange clicking sound.
“Keep your eyes open, but start looking down.”
“Lower your wings.”
“Lower. Lower.”
“Push out your lower lip.”
“Keep looking down, but turn your head toward me.”
“Look up at me with a sad puppy face.” Ditzy’s obedience was rewarded with her first glance at the one ordering her about. It was a photography pony. His face was blocked by the camera he had aimed at her, preventing her from seeing who had been her unintentional savior. One other camera dangled from a strap he had on his neck.
“Look directly at me.” He ordered. Ditzy focused right on the camera’s eye.
“Com’on, Look directly at me!” The stallion’s voice wasn't pleased with her anymore. Ditzy imagined herself boring a hole through the lens. She must do what he asked!
“But you can’t.” The stallion sighed and lowered his camera. “A shame about your eyes, Honey. You were really in the moment. You can step back now.” Ditzy stepped back from the edge of the building, all thoughts of what she had been about to do having been erased by this unexpected encounter.
“The name’s View Finder, by the way.” The chocolate colored stallion introduced himself as he tinkered with the two cameras hanging on his neck. “I hope I didn’t startle you too badly, I was hiding from you at first ‘cause I thought you might be the landlord, an’ I didn’t want to get kicked off yet. The light is just perfect right now with this light cloud cover, an’ any time I can get some great lighting outside of a studio, I’m taking it!” Finished adjusting his cameras, View removed them from their lanyards and set them on a clean foam pad. “But I’m being rude. I just took several pics of you while you were clearly experiencing some serious emotional…” View brushed his raspberry colored mane back with a hoof while he searched for a word. “…stuff.” It sounded obvious even he realized he had settled for a poor replacement. “Are you okay, Honey?”
Ditzy wished he had just forgotten about that. She already had, and she wished she could have been spared the reminder. “Well… I had a bad week, an’ I decided I had better leave.”
“Ohh, Honey!” Ditzy jumped at the sound of a sympathetic female from behind her. “Manhattan is a rough town. But don’t you let this one week get you down, you can make it.” A stunningly beautiful cream colored mare with a dark pink mane walked up beside her. “Hi! My name’s Passion Play, and that’s not my stage name. I’m going to be on Broadway someday, Honey. So don’t you forget my name !”
“Yeah, Passion. We know.” Another striking mare, cerulean with a brilliant white mane, moved with an angel’s grace from behind Ditzy on her other side. Ditzy nervously fidgeted as she found herself flanked by these two stunning beauties who both seemingly shone like the sun. “I’m Summer Day, and I don’t think I heard your name?”
“I’m Ditzy.” She said, almost wilting as she did. She was so insignificant next to these attractive, confident, and perfect mares. She wanted to find an excuse to leave; indeed, her very existence seemed to her to defile their splendor, but nothing came to mind. She was trapped.
“Pleased to meet you, Ditzy.” Summer extended her hoof, which Ditzy accepted with a demure shake like she was trying to be careful to not rub any of herself off on Summer. “You said you had a bad week, do you want to talk about it?” Ditzy shook her head. She definitely did not want to talk about it!
“Well Ditzy, are you sure you want to leave Manehattan?” Summer asked gently. Ditzy nodded. She was sure. “Where are you going?” Ditzy bit her lip, completely at a loss for an answer. That question seemed so hard! She crossed her hind legs to keep herself from tinkling.
“Ditzy honey,” Passion interjected, rubbing her hoof on Ditzy’s withers with reassuring strokes. “We aren’t here to judge you. We just couldn’t help but notice that you seem to be hurting right now, and maybe you might need a bit of reassurance that your decision to leave is a good one.” Ditzy nodded her understanding. “So tell us; why do you feel you need to leave Manehattan?”
“I lost my job and my apartment.” Ditzy blurted out, surprising herself. “An’ I can’t stay here, ‘cause I’ll be in the way of…” She fell back on her haunch and covered her mouth, shocked that she had revealed so much.
Passion and Summer glanced at each other, then they moved around to sit facing her. This was starting to get interesting! “Who were you staying with Ditzy?” Summer inquired.
Ditzy shook her head, afraid to uncover her mouth again. “Did you meet him here in Manehattan?” Passion asked slyly. She had experience in prying out juicy facts from reticent fillies. Ditzy shook her head. “Is he a friend from home?” Ditzy nodded. Passion smirked, yes-or-no questions were going to work.
Summer picked up on the hint and followed Passion’s lead. “Were you staying with him here?” Ditzy nodded, apparently unaware she had just answered the question she had earlier refused.
“Oh, Ditzy honey, let me look at you.” Passion reached up to Ditzy’s hooves and gently tugged them down from her mouth. “Ohhh, you are a beautiful filly. Now you listen to me, sister.” Passion said sympathetically, “You need to just forget about what happened here. That friend of yours is a fool to leave you so he could go and sleep with that stripper.” It was a stab in the dark, but a very possible scenario.
Ditzy swatted Passion’s hooves away. “Golden is not a stripper!” She screamed, furious that anypony would dare to malign Golden Sweet’s character.
“But Golden did sleep with him?” Summer interjected.
“No!” Ditzy was full of righteous indignation and eager to defend her friends.
Passion saw her opening and thrust. “So then, why did you sleep with him?”
"I…" Ditzy stared at the two mares, still leaning in earnestly, hanging on her every word. Realization arrived too late, she had been tricked her into confessing her crime. "I didn’t mean to!" Ditzy wailed, then collapsed and covered her ears, awaiting the hurtful words she was sure would follow.
Summer and Passion exchanged a somber look. This wasn’t as fun as they had expected. Summer moved around to sit next to Ditzy and draped a comforting fore leg across her shoulders. Passion got to her hooves and walked over to View. “I think our session just ended.” She said quietly with a backward glance.
View looked up to the clouds. Breaks were indeed starting to form and let unfiltered sunlight through. Any minute now, shadows were going to be too harsh for his purposes. “Yep, you’re right. Get her information when you can. I’ll start cleaning up.” Then he started packing up his equipment. Passion began gathering up all the flags they had been using as backdrops. A shaft of sunlight broke through, causing her to squint against its’ brilliance. “Yep, there’s the sun.” View said without looking up. “Too bad, it was such a nice day.”
“Yeah,” Passion looked over at Summer and Ditzy with genuine regret. “It was.”
Summer waited silently until Ditzy picked her head up off the floor. “Are you feeling better?” She inquired gently.
“No.” Ditzy sat up, sniffed and rubbed her nose. “Why… Why aren’t you calling me…”
“We said we weren’t going to judge you.” Summer interrupted. “I’m keeping that promise.”
Ditzy nodded, uncertain exactly how she felt about the mare next to her at that moment. She played like a comforter, then proved herself two-faced. But, she had refused to be a judge. Ditzy sighed with some resignation. Nopony’s perfect. “Thank you.” She said at last.
Summer heard the unspoken message in her response. ‘I’m upset with you, but I forgive you.’ She seized on the chance to prove her worthiness. “Have you decided where you want to go?”
“Away.” Ditzy answered with conviction. “I just want to fly away!” As soon as she had answered, she sat straight up and looked around. A sensation like déjà vu settled on her. She had said that before. A hope beyond her understanding sprang up within her.
“I think you need to have a better plan than that, Ditzy.” Summer said, oblivious to the epiphany Ditzy was experiencing. “Why don’t we go over your choices?”
“Of course!” Ditzy shouted, startling everypony with her outburst. The memory of Happenstance’s vision from last night returned to her like a warm blanket on a cold night to comfort her in her despair . “Abacus always told me I have choices. I can chose to follow my… promiscy!” Ditzy couldn’t quite remember the actual word, but that sounded close enough!
Passion smiled at Ditzy and Summer as they worked together on Ditzy’s options. “You can do it, sister!” She shouted her encouragement to the gray pegasus and hefted her bundled load of flags onto her back. She opened the rusty door and started down the steps ‘Ditzy was going to be okay.’ Passion assured herself as the door to the roof squealed shut behind her. She resolved to free herself from the sick feeling she had from her earlier trickery. That was negative energy, and she didn’t need to carry that.
Abacus decided he had languished in his disgrace long enough. He picked himself up and locked his room. He had two more classes he needed to attend. And now, he had no reason to stay here. Ditzy was gone. Back to Fillydelphia, and probably back to her mother. He would try to contact her later. But for now, all he could do is go back to school and pray he hadn’t broken his friend permanently.
He was disgusted with himself! The realization came as soon as he realized he was storming down the hall at a brisk walk. He never walked this fast. He reached the end of the hall and magically threw the door to the stairwell open, fully expecting to march through without changing his gait. However, it opened only partway and hit something. His rapid pace preventing him from stopping in time and preventing his momentum carrying him into the door as it was rebounding. His impact sent it swinging back to slam into the obstacle on the other side again. From behind the door, an outraged mare profanely castigated him in no uncertain terms. Abacus cringed at the fact that he had offended another mare through his thoughtless actions. Guilt-ridden, he hung his head and slowly walked out to face the irate pony.
She was beautiful, even with her face twisted in anger at his affront. It was obvious to him she was a model, she was done up too well to be hauling the bundle she carried. Even feeling as horrible as he did, he found it difficult not to stare at her. “I’m terribly sorry, Miss. I have no excuse for running into you like I did.” Abacus hoped that quickly assuming all responsibility would mollify her. “Please, will you let me carry that load down the steps to make up for the trouble I caused you?”
She glanced at him. Her eyes went up and down, sizing him up in an instant. An eye roll and a snicker followed. He expected her to refuse, say something demeaning, and then go her way. To his shock, she agreed. “Okay,” She dropped her pack ungracefully at his hooves. “If you think you can.” Her disbelieving tone and slight head shake further evidenced her doubts at his ability. “Give me a minute, I have one more like this up there.”
She turned and started up the steps, leaving Abacus to consider how he was going to handle the bundle. His horn glowed brightly as he tried moving it magically. It didn’t even budge. “Oh, great!” He said after he stopped his magic attempt. His eyes wandered up to her as she was rounding the next landing. He wondered if he should call up to her so she could say her insults to him now.
Passion walked onto the roof just as Summer was struggling to piece together in a logical manner the flurry of information Ditzy had just finished relaying to her. “So Abacus is your best friend from foalhood. He was the pony that encouraged you to come to Manehattan, and he is the pony you were staying with here?” Ditzy nodded. “And you’re sure you want to leave now, after…” Summer let her voice trail off, unwilling to repeat that sensitive part Ditzy had revealed. Ditzy nodded again. “I only ask, because, if Abacus is all that you say he is, he might be hurting more than you think.”
“The only thing I’m sure I need to do right now…” Ditzy voice cracked as she spoke. A testament to the extreme emotions and pressures she was under. “…is to leave.”
Passion felt something brush against her side. Reluctantly, she tore her attention away from the scene in front of her. View had finished tying up the rest of the flags, and was holding them up to her expectantly. She crouched slightly, accepting the load. With a last glance at Summer and Ditzy, she started back down.
Abacus heard the door squeal horribly again. “Oh great!” He panted, still struggling to lift the bundle to his back. He almost had it when Passion reached him. The bundle went lighter and settled on his back. “Uh, thanks.” He said, as he felt his face heat, and knew it wasn’t from exertion.
“Don’t mention it.” Passion said and started down the steps. “Truthfully, I didn’t expect to find you here. I thought you’d just take off.”
“I’d be a liar if I told you I didn’t consider doing just that after I tried lifting this.”
“Well, I consider your earlier offense absolved. Mr…?”
“White-collar.” Abacus breathed each word separately. He was already sounding like he was exerting himself.
Passion stopped and turned to face him. “Well, Mr. Collar, my name is Passion Play, and that’s not my stage name. That is my name. You’re going to see me on Broadway someday, so don’t you forget my name !” Abacus was grateful for any respite at that moment, even if he had to hear a thespian recite her overdramatic introduction. But he had no idea how he should respond once she had finished and was staring at him expectantly. He nodded slightly. That seemed to satisfy her. She turned and started walking again. “I’m pleased to meet a chivalrous pony such as yourself, Mr. Collar.”
“Uhh, it’s Abacus, White-collar.” He corrected her after he took a deep breath so he could be certain she wouldn't misunderstand him again.
He knew that some ponies don’t like to be corrected, no matter how insignificant the matter, but he never expected Passion to react the way she did. It was the type of reaction he would have anticipated if he had smacked the rounded flesh just behind her cutie-mark and suggested a lewd act she could perform for one bit. He saw her head and ears perk up in shock, and in the very next instant, she was face to face with him. “Do you know a gray pegasus mare with a blonde mane?!” Despite their proximity, she very nearly shouted at him.
Abacus couldn’t believe what he had just heard her say. “Yes!” He managed after he overcame his disbelief in his next breath. “Her name is Ditzy Doo. Have you seen her?”
Passion nodded emphatically “She’s up on the roof.” Abacus couldn’t believe his luck! It was like getting a second chance at doing something right. Weighed down as he was, he struggled to turn around. “Oh, you can’t be serious!?” She exclaimed at seeing his awkward maneuvers. She bit a strap on his load and lifted it up.
“Thanks!” Abacus shouted without looking back and galloped up the stairs.
“You better run, she’s talking about leaving!”
Summer didn’t want to let go. This poor sweet mare she had just met had melted her heart with her tragic situation and her pure, innocent soul. “I really hope you find what you are seeking, Ditzy.” She sniffed as she squeezed the pegasus tighter.
“I know I will, Summer.” Ditzy couldn’t believe she was smiling through her tears. This was the right choice for her. She just knew it. “I don’t know how I know, but I just…Know !” She felt Summer’s embrace slacken and they seperated.
“Are you sure you want me to send any and all proceeds from the photos I took of you to this ‘Abacus’ colt living here?” View asked her again.
Ditzy nodded. “He’ll probably set up an account for me. But I wish he’d just keep it. I feel like I owe it to him. And besides, I don’t have any idea where I’ll end up.”
“Okay, but it would be easier for you if I could just give you my address and you could send me yours.”
Ditzy laughed. “Oh, you don’t know me very well, do you?” Then she laughed again at seeing View’s perplexed expression. “Well, I need to get flying.” Ditzy started trotting toward the edge.
“Ditzy wait!” Summer trotted over and pointed to a loose backpack strap. “Do you need to cinch that up before you go?"
“Oh for Celestia’s sake!” Passion exclaimed as Abacus started hopping up the steps in response to a cramping muscle. “Do you need me to carry you now?” She started massaging his affected leg.
“You know something,” Ditzy said as she stared at the loose strap. “I don’t think I need this.” She shed her backpack and let it land heavily at her hooves. “That’s nothing but stuff from Fillydelphia, an’ I don’t think I’ll need it anymore. Also, I think I need to unload this.” She buried her muzzle into a saddlebag.
“AARRRGH!” Abacus shouted in pain and frustration as he crumpled to the floor. Both of his hind legs had just cramped up, and the door to the roof was just up this last set of steps!
“You better start calculating how much you are going to owe me for this!” Passion said as she shook her head, still in disbelief at what she was about to do for this stallion. She lowered her head and bit down on his tail just past the last bone and lifted his hindquarters up. “Mu beffer shtart mooffin!” She directed him through her teeth.
Abacus clenched his teeth against the pain and stood up on his forelegs, beginning was by far the most desperate, and unconventional, 'wheelbarrow' race he would ever run.
“It’s beautiful, Ditzy!” Summer exclaimed as she examined the shimmery gold formal gown Ditzy had just tossed at her. “Are you sure you want to part with this?”
Ditzy nodded, her smile gone. “That’s the dress… I was wearing… when…”
Summer nodded in understanding and tossed it aside. “It’s not as beautiful as you are.” She pressed in for one last embrace. “You fly, filly!” Summer heard her voice squeak. “You fly far and fast and find your dream and never look back!” One last squeeze and they parted.
“Goodbye!”
He made it! Abacus magically pushed open the door and heard its’ rusty groan with great relief. He scanned all around him for the pony he most wanted to see. Passion spat out his tail, dropping him on his face just as he saw her. “Ditzy!” he tried to yell, but his breathing so labored, it sounded like a moan.
Passion was about to say something crass when she heard him moan. She peeked out the door over him and saw what made him sound so pathetic. “DITZY!” She screamed at the gray pegasus mare. "DITZY, COME BACK!"
No! He couldn’t have come this close to fail now! He somehow found his hooves and stood, limp-running after a hope with feathered wings. “Ditzy!” He said as loud as he could manage. “Ditzy, come back!” He heard the other ponies now calling for her return, but there was no sign she had heard them. Yet, he pressed on, he must be heard. He had to find a way to make her hear him! He just had to get closer! “Ditzy, come back!” He was at the roof’s edge now, and leaning out as far as he could. Stretching out to give her the best chance of hearing what he need to say to her the most. “DITZY!” He was loud now. He was sure she would hear him. “DITZY, I’M SORRY!”
Something pulled at him. He ignored it. He continued yelling her name. Hooves were on him now. But they weren’t helping him, so he resisted them. He called after her again and again. They were too strong. He was too weak. He was pulled back from the edge and held down. Abacus still screamed her name. He screamed until she was no more than a gray dot fading into the western sky.
Author's Note
Originally, I had no clue what Abacus' surname should be. I had decided that he didn't need one...until this chapter.
Fly west, little gray mare!
Abacus laid on his bed staring blankly at the bare white wall of his apartment, but he was still seeing a gray pegasus disappearing into the distance. Behind him, he heard Passion and Summer in his kitchen making him a bowl of what they called ‘Bachelor Chow’: the noodle soups that were inexpensive and quick to make. You can have a meal in three minutes, just add boiling water. At least that is what the soup packets advertised.
“Here.” Passion held a steaming bowl with a spoon in front of him. It must have been three minutes.
“I’m not hungry.” He said truthfully. But he knew he should feel famished. He had only eaten an apple since waking this morning, and now it was after his normal lunch time.
“You were out drinking last night, am I right?”
“Yes.” Abacus said, only because nodding seemed to require more energy.
“Then sit up and eat this!” Passion demanded. “You are dehydrated. That is why your legs were cramping up. These soups are nothing but water and salt, and that is exactly what you need right now.” Abacus didn’t move. She lowered her head to meet him eye to eye. “Listen, you are going to eat this bowl of soup, or you are going to wear it.” She raised the bowl over his head. “Are you getting it now?”
Abacus nodded and magically accepted the bowl from her. Then he forced himself to sit up and slurp a spoonful. Much to his chagrin, it tasted delicious, and he began to slurp spoonful after steaming spoonful of the vegetable broth. Passion sat on his bed next to him, stared straight ahead, and sighed. “I wish I had left you on the steps and ran ahead to stop Ditzy when you started having problems. I’m sorry you didn't get your chance to say goodbye.”
“It’s not your fault.” Abacus set the bowl in his lap and contemplated the floating peas. “Thank you…both, for everything you’ve done.”
Summer walked over and stood near Passion. “I read the note she left you. You should know that you gave her good advice, and she decided to not go back to Fillydelphia.”
“Did she tell you where she is going?”
“No.”
Abacus looked over and met Summer’s eyes. “You don’t know, or you won’t tell me?”
Summer stared straight back. “I don’t know. She only said that she was going to follow her…” Summer furrowed her brow in thought, “…’Promiscy’? Does that mean anything to you?”
Abacus needed only a moment to decipher the “Ditzy-speak”. “Prophecy. She meant to say: ‘Prophecy’.”
“Say Whaaat?” Passion stretched out the words in disbelief. “Honey, she doesn’t seem like the type to follow astrology or to get her frog read.” She used the tip of one hoof to point to the teepee-like structure that all equines had on the sole of their hooves and glanced between them. “Are you sure?”
Abacus sucked in a spoonful of noodles and nodded. “She ran into a unicorn last night who then said she had ‘triggered a prophecy’ which looked like a…magical puppet-show that flew out of his horn. Afterward, he told her that she would have something… terrible… happen to her, but that she should be encouraged to do what she saw in her prophecy.”
“Something… terrible…happened to her, last night.” Summer’s voice had taken on a horrified, detached tone that caused both Passion and Abacus to look over to her. “You…” Summer was pointing an accusing hoof at Abacus. “She didn’t sleep with you.” Her breaths started coming harder and faster while her features twisted into something hateful. “You raped her didn’t you?!” The only response Abacus could manage was to hang his head and close his eyes.
Passion stood up and twisted toward Summer too late to fend off her friends charge. Summer brushed her aside and threw herself on Abacus. “You colt-of-a- eeeyahh!” she screamed and pummeled him with her fore hooves. “Did you think that just because she was staying here that she was your property!?”
Abacus accepted her angry accusations and wild punches as his due. He absorbed all of her punishment until one of her hooves glanced painfully off his brow and out of reflex he raised his fore legs to protect his eyes. Summer’s next swing smacked the bowl of soup out of his grasp and sent it to smash against the wall. No other blows followed. He peeked out from behind his fore legs to see Passion had pinned Summer against the wall and was whispering soothing words into her ear, even as Summer continued to struggle against her.
Summer’s protests and attempts to free herself faded as she sunk to the floor. “He did it! You know he did it!” she whimpered. All the fight drained out of her as she cried into Passion’s neck.
“Shh, sh, sh, shhhh.” Passion shushed her and stroked her friend’s mane and cheek. “There, there. Take it easy, Honey.”
“They said he didn’t do it. They said I made it up, but you believe me, don’t you?” Summer lifted her head. Her eyes were wet, wide, and searching her friend kneeling with her on the floor.
“Yeah, I believe you, Honey.” Passion squeezed her friend close and held on as they swayed back and forth in their sea of emotion. “I always believed you.”
Abacus’ eyes flew open. Summer wasn’t talking about him. His realization made him feel sick again and he looked away to the mess on the floor. Vegetable broth and limp noodles dripped off the wall and joined the expanding pool that stretched tiny streams across the hardwood strips. He looked back to Summer and Passion still rocking back and forth against the opposite wall. Passion was watching him out of the corner of a narrowed eye. Again, Abacus found himself focused somewhere past his walls and far away, but now, he wished he could actually go there and escape all the pain he found surrounding him.
He heard them talking again. He didn’t want to be a voyeur, but he couldn’t help but overhear. “Hey, Summer?” Passion whispered. “I want you to go outside and wait for me for a minute, Okay?”
“Huh? Passion, no.”
“Shhh. It’s okay. You can wait right outside this door.”
“What are you going to do to him?”
“Shhh, I’m not going to do anything. I just want to ask him a question. That’s all.”
“But, then why--“
“Shhh, Honey, I know you’re already upset, and I want to ask him something that I believe will upset you more, but I want to hear what he has to say.”
“Just a question?”
“Mmhmm. So can you wait for me right outside this door, okay? I won’t take long. Can you do that for me?” Abacus caught Summer’s shaky nod in his peripheral vision. “Good, thank you, Sister.” Summer stood and left the room.
“So, are you going to kill me?” Abacus asked after the door closed.
Passion stood and walked directly in front of him. “No.” Abacus looked up to see Passion swallow. Her face was a clay mask sculpted by an artist who tried to model pain, compassion, hatred, and sympathy all at once. “I really do just want to ask you a question.” Passion said. In response Abacus only stared at her. “What happened last night?”
“I was drunk, I don’t remember.” He didn’t expect her to believe him. He expected her to reach out with her hooves and strangle him. Part of him wanted her to.
“Tell me what you do remember. You act remorseful. Repentant. I want to know what you remember, and what you think happened here last night between you and Ditzy.”
Abacus hung his head and stared at a shard of his broken soup bowl lying on the floor. He related the entire evening, his intentions, his actions and his anger at anything that went against his plan of lifting Ditzy’s spirits. He told her everything up to where the darkness took over his memory. Then he looked up and two tears rolled down his cheeks. “That’s all I remember. I saw her swaying in front of my bed. The next memory I have is, just seeing her the next morning. Broken. Hopeless.”
Passion’s mask hadn’t changed. “So, what do you think happened?”
“I raped her.” He felt something inside him die.
“How?” Passion shook her head in disbelief. “You were both drunk, and you’re such a pencil-neck that I have no doubt she could have fought you off if you tried to force her.”
Abacus felt a surge of conflicting emotions rush through him that left him dumbfounded. He never expected to have to defend his confession to his prosecutor. Indignation prevailed and he stood up face-to-face with her. “My—My clothes were piled up right there at the foot of my bed. Except for my undertail, which was apparently thrown or kicked to the wall.” He thrust a hoof toward the faded spot on his bed. “There was a bloody stain right there, and…” Abacus felt his face flush with embarrassment, which only served to embarrass him further, “and I was…leaking.”
“Congratulations,” Passion clopped her hooves in mock applause, “You popped your first cherry. You’re a stallion now.”
“Don’t you dare mock me!” Abacus saw his vision tint red. “You didn’t see her this morning, but I did! And she looked—“ Abacus’ voice broke and two more tears fell. He dropped his head and swallowed in vain. He knew he had no chance of clearing his throat. “She looked just like the rape victims at the Mares and Foals Center in Hockton.” He hated himself at hearing his voice squeal. It wasn't enough that he had confessed to being a rapist only to have his physical ability to commit such a crime questioned, but now he no longer possessed a stallion’s strong voice or stoicism. He collapsed to the floor and cried like a foal.
Passion stood watching over him until she heard him sniffling with no sign of letting up. She went looking for a box of tissues. Finding none, she returned with a kitchen towel and dropped it in front of Abacus, who still laid sobbing on the floor.
Abacus grabbed the dropped towel and used it until there were no dry spots left. Still sobbing, he stood and walked into the kitchen and got another towel. When he returned his eyes first flew open in shock, but then they clenched shut and he jerked his head away and he hid behind his towel. “Why are you still here?” he demanded of the two mares fully seated on his bed and reclining against each other.
“I had something I wanted to say before I left.” Passion said. “And Summer came back in to check on you.”
“I also wanted to apologize for hitting you.” Summer said, “I…I didn't know…”
“Oh, God!” His voice squealed again. “I’m a stallion in body only. No—as you pointed out, I don’t qualify that way either. I’m a stallion by age and gender only!”
Abacus could hear Passion roll her eyes as she sighed. “We aren't leaving till you stop.”
Abacus had been crying so long that all his facial muscles screamed painfully, and yet it was only his deepening humiliation that made him want to stop crying at that moment. With great effort he brought his breathing under control. Once more he dried his swollen, bloodshot eyes, and then once more he blew his nose into the towel. He took a deep cleansing breath and walked over to Passion and Summer on his bed, but lost his confidence halfway there and stopped, knelt down on his knees and averted his eyes.
“What?” he asked the wall.
“I suppose it’s too much to ask for you to look at me?” Passion asked. His face waxed in their direction, but his eyes remained fixed on the wall. “Abacus, look. At. Me.” He fixated on the hollow spot of her neck where it met her chest.
Passion stood up from the foot of his bed and knelt in front of him, forcing eye contact. “I know you feel like shit right now, and you probably should, but you are not a rapist.” She spoke in a rapid even-toned staccato that didn't allow any chance at interruption.
“I. Raped. Her.” Abacus forced the words past the painful lump in his throat.
“Yes,” Passion’s agreement left him dumbstruck. “You raped her, but you are not a rapist.” Abacus’ head floated around on his neck. Passion reached out and placed her hoof against his cheek. “You and Ditzy had a train wreck.”
“A what?”
“A train wreck,” Passion said, “Train tracks carry traffic both ways, but sometimes, mistakes happen, bad decisions are made, and two trains collide, resulting in massive damage, and loss of life or property. Likewise, you and Ditzy both made some bad decisions and--like a train wreck--the consequences are far more severe than the bad decisions that you both made. You and Ditzy both are responsible for what happened last night. I’d bet anything on it.”
Abacus’ eyes swam around in their sockets, “So, what happened?”
“I’m not sure. You’ll have to ask Ditzy.” Passion stood up and turned for the door. “Com’on, Sister, it’s time to go.”
Summer stood, walked over to Abacus, and rubbed a hoof over his shoulder. “I’m sorry I hit you.” She kissed the welt over his eye and turned to leave.
“Passion, wait.” Abacus looked all around him like nothing was familiar. “What should I do now?”
Passion looked over at the spilled soup and broken bowl still littering his floor. “You start by picking up the pieces.” She gestured with her head. “Then you go back to class, do your homework and graduate.”
“I don’t think I can.”
Summer turned in the doorway. “I know it’s hard, but you can do it. One day at a time. Make the choice, every day, to do what you can.”
Passion nodded after Summer left. “There are two types of ponies in situations like this: Victims and survivors. Ditzy made the choice to be a survivor. I know she would want you to choose to be a survivor too.”
Abacus nodded.
“Good, now pick up the pieces.” Passion said, “You deserve to survive.” and she shut the door behind her.
Author's Note
Previous chapter was dark and had the aftermath of a date rape respectfully and tastefully handled to keep the 'Teen' tag.
Originally, I had planned to keep this chapter with the previous one.
Aftermath
Ditzy sat on the couch with a plate on her lap staring blankly at the melting pads of butter slowly sinking into the halves of her reheated blueberry muffin. Behind her, she could hear Abacus in the bathroom rushing to get ready to go to his classes. He had tests to take. He had to go. And she understood. She did. She was glad she wasn’t crying anymore. If she were still crying, she would make it impossible for him to leave. And he needed to leave. He needed to move on. She wanted him to move on. He deserved to move on.
The bathroom door opened behind her and she could hear Abacus running around the room getting his books and putting on his saddlebags. There was a pause in his activity. She could feel him looking at her. She didn’t want him looking at her. He didn’t need to be thinking about her. He had more important things to do. “You’re going to be late.” She barely heard herself speak. Her voice vacillated between a whisper and a weedy squeak. She sounded so weak and pathetic she was sure he would try to find some excuse to stay. She swallowed to try and clear her voice, preparing herself should she need to convince him to leave.
There was movement again in the room. She was expecting him to come over and rub her shoulder or embrace her in an attempt to comfort her. Unwillingly, she felt herself tense up anticipating his touch. Instantly, she hated herself for that reaction, and that dirty feeling descended on her again; the feeling like she had been rolled around in filth. She wanted to bathe again. Even though she had already bathed this morning before Abacus. She closed her eyes and tried to suppress the wave of nausea that followed these dirty feelings. She reopened them when she heard Abacus handling bed sheets. Her peripheral vision saw that he was hurriedly making his bed. The feelings of nausea grew worse.
“Abacus, please! Leave the bed…Hurk!” Her stomach spasmed and she covered her mouth to keep the stomach fluids from spilling out. Another heave squeezed tears out of her eyes, but after that her nausea, mercifully, retreated.
“Okay, umm… Are you okay?” He sounded like he was walking on eggshells
She could feel Abacus was hovering in indecision. She swallowed a few times and cleared her throat. “I’m not crying,” she reassured him as she wiped away the tears, “I’m just feeling sick.”
“Okay, do you want me to..?” Abacus started to entreat her cautiously.
“I don’t want you to be late for class!” Ditzy snapped back and instantly regretted being so rude and interrupting him and her angry, irritated tone. “Sorry.” She apologized after a sigh.
“It’s okay,” Abacus said in a soothing tone like one would use while trying to exit an occupied lion cage. He walked to the door and magically unlocked the bolt and chain. “I’m leaving now but, I’ll come back here for lunch. Okay?”
Ditzy nodded at first, but realized that probably wouldn’t be enough to convince him. “Okay, I’ll be fine. Goodbye. I’ll get the door.”
See you at lunch.” The door closed softly. Then she could hear Abacus trotting down the hall.
Ditzy looked down at the plate in her lap. The butter on the right half of her blueberry muffin was completely melted now. Where was her appetite? She wondered, feeling guilty about not having taken even one bite of the breakfast Abacus had made for her. Maybe she would have an appetite after she cleaned herself up. She thought. She didn’t feel clean enough to eat anything right now. She stood and set her plate on the breakfast bar. Then she went to the door and set the chain and bolt. Now she could bathe. She rifled her mane with a hoof and stopped. Her mane was still damp from the bath she had just taken and she could smell the scented shampoo. She closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing in the clean fragrance while hoping that the flowery scent alone could purge the dirty feelings she felt, but nagging doubts harassed her with every breath. You will never feel clean again!
“Stop it!” Hurtful words now floated into her consciousness and badgered her.
Dirty slut! Filthy whore! You don’t deserve to feel clean!
“Stop it!” She said aloud, her anxiety forcing her to start trotting around the room. Moving helped, until she looked at the bed. Now visions of last night assaulted her. She could clearly see his straining face above her.
“Stop it!” Ditzy yelled as she yanked her attention away from the offending furniture.
You yelled that last night, didn’t you? But you didn’t mean it. You wanted him. He asked you if you wanted to and you said ‘yes’. Didn’t you?
“Stop it, stop it, stop it!” Ditzy ran into the bathroom where she spun around to shut and lock the door behind her like that would keep the voices out. Then she threw herself at the bathtub and began clawing at the faucets like she was suffocating and they were her only supply of oxygen. She told herself that she just wanted to feel clean again, as she stripped out of her undertail and stepped into the bathtub. But no, that was a lie, she HAD to feel clean again. Somehow.
Abacus tried to tell himself that he was doing the right thing the whole way to class. He had a test this morning, and make-up tests were intentionally made more difficult and given points penalties to discourage students from missing any test. Furthermore, Ditzy wanted him to go. He just seemed to make things worse when he was there. It made sense that she would find his presence agitating, as he was the cause of her current emotional state. But all that reasoning didn’t keep him from feeling like he was abandoning a friend in need.
The test went better than he expected, but he couldn’t feel relief at passing another hurdle. Now he had nothing to distract him from remembering the shattered look Ditzy had that morning. He turned in his test without double-checking his work as he usually did and walked outside to get a snack from the Kampus Kitchen out of habit. He wasn’t hungry, but he bought an apple anyway, sat at a table, and stared off into space.
“You finished early.”
The voice startled him back into the here and now. He looked up to see classmate he knew, but couldn’t remember his name. “Hey, yeah… I…” At a loss for even casual conversation, Abacus just crunched into his apple, but it was over ripe and tasteless. Nevertheless, he swallowed what he had bitten off and took another bite.
“Hey, you don’t look so good, are you feeling alright?” His classmate inquired sounding genuinely concerned.
Abacus lacked the imagination or the energy invent an answer. He had to settle with a half-truth. “Uhh, it’s just… mare problems.”
“Oh… Did you break up with your fillyfriend?”
“Yeah.” Abacus responded, staring at a mark on the table, hoping the subject would drop.
“Ohhh… Well, I know it sucks right now, but trust me, life goes on.” He put a hoof on Abacus’ shoulder. Abacus was sure that the action was meant to be consoling or reassuring, but it only made him think about the one he left back at his apartment. She had nopony there to comfort her. She was probably staring out into space. Feeling lost and broken. Friendless.
“Yeah, life goes on.” Even when we wish it wouldn’t. As his classmate related some anecdote, Abacus took another bite of his apple. Mechanically biting, chewing, and then swallowing without appetite or thought until he became aware that his classmate had stopped talking and that he had asked a question. “Um, I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“I asked you if that was a good apple.”
He just now realized that he had eaten the whole thing, including the core. “No, it was terrible, but it’s exactly what I need right now.” Abacus looked over at his classmate. His memory clicked. Ticker Tape: His name was Ticker Tape. “I have you in another class today, right?”
“Yeah, Statistics, after lunch.”
“Right.” Abacus stood. “Can you tell me then what the homework is for this class? I’m leaving.” Ticker Tape nodded slowly, still looking concerned. Abacus didn’t hesitate and turned to go back to class to get his stuff. The thought of Ditzy alone and suffering was torturing him. Although he knew he couldn’t make it right, he could at least… He slowed from a trot to a walk as he contemplated his actions. Nothing he thought of seemed good. Indeed, every option he considered seemed to involve more pain. He stopped at the door to his class, thinking again about his course. The door opened to let three more students out just as he began to go into another thousand yard stare. Snapping back into awareness, he trotted inside before the door closed, collected his things, and was back out at a canter. Movement was keeping him from sinking into the abyss of depression. He had to keep moving, and although he realized he couldn’t do anything to stop the pain he had caused Ditzy, he could at least BE there for her. Nopony should ever be alone. Especially when they’re hurting.
Ditzy walked out of the bathroom freshly bathed again, but now with her mane done and her jaw set. She had made up her mind and had decided she was not going to be in the way of Abacus and Golden anymore. In order to do that, she had to leave. But first…she went and stripped the bed of the stained fitted mattress cover, suppressing another round of nausea as she did so. Then she filled the kitchen sink with hot water and attacked the stain with soap and a stiff bristle brush she had found in the cabinet under the sink. The stain yeilded to her unrelenting assault, and when she had finished scrubbing, the area that had been stained was now noticeably lighter than the rest of the mattress cover. She nodded once in satisfaction, and wrung out as much water as she could and then remade the bed, leaving the bed sheet and quilt folded back in thirds to allow the mattress cover to dry.
Now there was only one thing left for her to do. She found a pad of paper and a pen, scribbled a short note, and left it on the kitchen counter. As she threw the saddlebacks on her back and cinched the strap tightly with her teeth, the finality of her actions were starting to chip away at her resolve. Now she lifted her backpack and held it in place between her wings, all the while fighting her second thoughts and misgivings. More straps were gripped with her teeth and pulled taut. She had suffered a rough landing once when her backpack had shifted and prevented her left wing from flapping. Her activity of loading up with all her packs steeled her determination and reminded her that she had made her decision and the time for her internal arguments was over! One last tug and she was done! She was ready to go. She walked to the door, unlocked and opened it, and then stepped through.
Once outside his apartment, she drew in a breath like she had hoped to fill her entire body with air. This was going to be the hardest part. She would most likely never see Abacus or Golden again, and she wanted to leave with a good memory. While holding the door with her hoof to block her view of the bed, she turned and faced the room, and the memories replayed in her mind like sentimental childhood song. There, on the breakfast bar, she could see the cake Abacus and Golden had made for her to welcome her when she came first came to Manehattan. And there on the floor was that cushiony rug. There they had played Abacus’ card games numerous times. That same rug also served as the table for dozens of pizzas consumed over the year. She remembered the time when they surprised her and held her down so that they could give her a double razzberry on her belly to celebrate her getting her first job. That was the first time she had laughed so hard, she had peed herself...and that rug. Abacus and Golden had both insisted on cleaning up after that, and they had seemed so happy for her even as they did. There on the couch, they had laughed, but they had also comforted her on that terrible day when it seemed like she would never stop sobbing. On the ceiling was the fan she had installed, and underneath it she saw them kissing passionately. They looked so beautiful.
Ditzy swallowed painfully. She had her good memories, she could leave now. “Goodbye, Abacus. Goodbye…” Ditzy hesitated, it didn’t feel right for her to call Golden by her knickname, not after she had betrayed her. “Goodbye, Golden Sweet. It was fun while it lasted.
With that, she pulled the door shut and checked to make sure it was latched and locked. Then she walked down the hall to the stairs. She didn’t look back.
