the revenge of the fallen
chapter 1: the revenge of the fallen
It was a dark and stormy night and George was a gorilla-like man with a rippling physique, and by rippling we mean waves and waves of muscles. Aw3som3 was a black a pony with a bright green mane, who always complained that his hair was getting in his eyes. One dark and stormy in Canterlot George was dragging his knuckles across the pavement as he grunted in a gorilla-like way. Aw3som3 was a royal guard who was following George on the order of his sister princess Luna, who thought he was a rapist. Aw3som3 was also great friends with Princess Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity. He was also Scootaloo’s father, except he abandoned her at the ripe old age of 3... weeks old; this was because he was a horrible person.
Scootaloo’s mother was The Great and Powerful Trixie, who was secretly having an affair with Rainbow Dash, who really was the father of Scootaloo. The only reason Aw3som3 was even remotely related to Scootaloo was because Rainbow Dash was secretly a werepony.
George got to Equestria by getting mugged and attacked. He died on his home from the puppy shelter in the city of oregon. He was also a part time volunteer at the golden arch-restaurant. While he worked there, he made less than minimum wage, and he lived a completely shitty life. He made such horrible money from this job, he could only buy one mcflurry a day, which was 1 dollar and fifty sense. He had long ago contemplated moving to equestria after his parents his parents abused him by not letting his friends see him every day. He was also madly in love with Princess Twilight Sparkle, who was his waifu. No one understood George, not even himself. Long his mother sexually abused him with a spatula, and ever since he could not look at a spatula the same way again. Which made working at the golden arch-restaurant very difficult.
Aw3som3 was following this deviant gorilla-man in an unambiguous manner. George turns around and sees Aw3som3, and sees the most beautiful and mysterious pony he had ever seen before. He was so dark, and so my mysterious that he could not help but get a raging erection for Aw3som3’s amazing mane and spectacular personality. His teeth were shining bright in the night, a white blinded George’s eyes as he looked at them. The bright moon reflected off of Aw3som3’s amazing teeth, and George was having a hard time not ravaging Aw3som3’s amazing plot. Aw3som3 blushed furiously and turned away, hiding his own raging erection. George blushed as well and gradually approached Aw3som3, still blushing furiously.
“H-hi.” he stuttered nervously.
“H-hi.” the other one replied.
“I’m george. You look amazingly pretty tonight.”
“You too. I really like your teeth.”
“Me too, yours are really shiny and they shine like diamonds.”
Aw3som3 blushed again and turned away again, presenting his stunning plot to George. Aw3som3 remembered what his sister princess Luna had said about George, and how he was a stunning gorilla-like man with a rippling physique, who excelled at seducing grown men in the night. Yet despite this, Aw3som3 couldn’t help but be attracted to him. He was so stunning and his teeth were shining bright.
“W-what’s your name?” george asked.
“I’m Aw3som3 with an 1” he said, turning back towards george.
~~~~~
After a night of fiery romance and passion and hot slippery sex, the two lied in bed together, the sheets on the floor.
“Y-you were amazing george” whispered Aw3som3 into george’s ear.
“I really liked being inside of you” george whispered back. “but I have to go, I’m late as it is, and my boss really won’t like me being late. She might take away the last mcflurry I have from earth, and I don’t think I could stand that.
“whats a mic-flurree?”
“It’s even greater than the shine of your teeth my sweet love, but I must go, I have orphanages to shut down.”
“then go my love, fly fast like an eagle faster even than Rainbow Dash.”
And so he left, leaving Aw3som3 alone in the dark, amongst the sweat of their lovemaking which smelled exotic. Aw3som3 slowly faded in and out of awakeness, as if he had been struck, which he had. He had been struck by love!!.
~~~~~
Aw3som3 slowly awoke in the darkness. It was cold, colder than george was when he serenaded Princess Twilight Sparkle. He knew the nazis who had come kidnapped him and possibly the love of his life george, that gorilla-like man. He knew it was his sole purpose in life to hunt them down and overthrow their secret regime over equestria, of whom was led by a mysterious alicorn who was known only as “burning fire.” Quickly, he hopped to his feet, only to realize that his hooves were bound with chains. He noticed quickly enough that his mouth was gagged and he could not speak.
But he would not go out without a fight. Summoning his awesome willpower, he broke his chains that bound him and sprinted out of the cave, and saw the five hundred and thirty two nazi zombies that had kidnapped him and his lover. focusing his awesome willpower, he summoned his mighty keyblade, and smote the first zombie.
“one down five hundred and thirty one to go.” he remarked, putting his sunglasses.
[Play this for awesome effect, trust me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSeNSzJ2-Jw ]
Then, with all of his awesome might, he struck down another zombie, who exploded into a shower of intestines. Hot blood steamed the snow, staining his coat red. This was a gruesome task, but it was his duty and he could not stand aside. For he was the only one who could stop them, for he held the power of the keyblade, for HE... Aw3som3, WAS DETERMINED TO RESTORE LUNA TO HER RIGHTFUL PLACE ON THE THRONE, AND ONLY HE, Aw3som3 KNEW THAT THE LEADER OF THE NAZIS “BURNING FIRE” WAS ACTUALLY CELESTIA!
~~~~~
Aw3som3 panted heavily, holding his keyblade high, ready to block the next nazi zombie, with eyes clenched closed. But the blow never came. Slowly, he opened his eyes, and realized that he had won... it... it was over... finally. Aw3som3 fell to the ground, his coat stained blood as he weeped bitter tears for those who had fallen. He knew, at last, he could confront Celestia, and restore Luna to her throne as queen of the lunar republic.
Author's Note
God forgive me.
