Spike's Drunken Spree

by MrShortcake

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Spike, Comedy, Big Macintosh, Random, Shining Armor, Slice of Life, Flash Sentry, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin
Length: 8989

Today is Spike's 21st birthday, and like everypony else who reaches the legal age; Spike plans to hit the clubs. One thing leads to another, and hilarity ensues.

Today was the day. He could taste the freedom. Spike has just turned 21, which in Equestria, is the age a pony can legally purchase and consume alchoholic beverages. Join us as Spike and his friends head to the clubs to get bucked up.

If you have a problem with crude humor, or just don't like Spike; keep scrolling buddy.

Rated Teen because of the swearing, and more adult themes.

Published 2013-11-28 03:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-14 19:07:19 UTC

Round Up [Part 1]

Chapter 1: Round Up [Part 1]

Spike awoke to the intruding rays of Celestia's golden sun, however, today wasn't your average day at the Golden Oaks Library; today was the day Spike had been awaiting ever since his teen years.

However exciting today was going to be, Spike couldn't bring himself to get up. He attempted to escape the sunlight for 5 minutes straight; tossing and turning, time after time, only to be smacked by Celestia's over-sized star.

"Fine! I'm awake now! Didn't need sleep anyway!" Spike began to shout at the window as he sat upright on his bed.

It had been a while since Spike last shared a room with his sister/mother/friend, Twilight. Ever since his 13th birthday, Twilight and her friends had taken it upon themselves to build Spike another room inside of the library; he was a growing teen after all.

Spike looked around at his complete wreck of a room, which looked like the aftermath of a double rainboom. He'd have time to clean later, for now he had resolved to getting a breakfast started.

He began his trek downstairs, careful not to trip over the mountain of clothes in his room; sure he barely wore clothes, but he liked having an abundance, so that in the case of a fashion emergency, he would undoubtedly be prepared. As Spike began his stealthy walk down the stairs, which looked hilarious considering the dragon’s size, he heard movement, and the clattering of silverware coming from the kitchen.

Spike was a head taller than the tallest stallion, and had a difficult time fitting through doorways, even more so, being stealthy. His large draconic feet made quite the sound, clinking against the hard-wood floor with every step he took.

As he edged his way around wall after wall, Spike had reached the kitchen. He leaned towards the doorframe to be sure the noise was coming from that room alone. He presumed it to be Twilight cooking breakfast, or lunch, in the case that Spike slept in. To be honest, HE had absolutely no clue what time it was, all he knew was that it was sunny outside, and somepony was making noise in the kitchen.

The only thing that had him so on edge, was the fact that there was absolutely no smell coming from the kitchen, by now he’d at least smell burnt food, or maybe some toast, but no, nothing.

“… Twilight?” Spike’s gruff voice was all that could be heard, as it echoed through the library, and all the previous clatter coming from the kitchen had went silent.

“… Is that you in there Twilight?” Spike had began to get nervous, adrenaline pumping through him. He couldn’t stand the silence, so after a minute of inner conflict, he resolved to peek his head around the corner into the kitchen.

As his head rounded the corner, he was stopped short by a pie to the face. Startled by the sudden pie he fell back, landing on his tail and wincing with pain. “Ah!”

“Pie fight!” screamed a feminine voice that Spike immediately recognized, but before he could so much as lick the pie off his face, he was hit by another, and another. Pie after pie collided with Spike’s face. It was slaughter, and so Spike raised the white flag.

“Pinkie Pie, stop. Hitting. Me. With. Pies!” Spike managed to evade the last pie and ducked for cover. Moments latter, he noticed Pinkie had ceased fire. Believing that it was safe, Spike peaked his head above the counter, which he used as cover and he found himself, muzzle to muzzle with Pinkie Pie. If Spike was scared now, he would roll over and die from what was about to come.

In the manliest voice Spike had ever heard, and a soul shattering stare to match, Pinkie Pie whispered, “prepare your fields, because they’re about to be plowed.”

Spike should’ve laughed at the hilarity of this entire situation, but at that moment, he could only shit bricks. “WHOA, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

The pink party pony had decided that she had accomplished whatever it was she had set out to do, and dove headfirst into the last pie that remained untouched, without so much as cracking the crust. Spike was severely confused, but when you get to know Pinkie, you lose a little bit of sanity and learn to accept the impossible things that mare is able to do.

“Heh, at least I got free breakfast.” Spike took the pie off the counter and made his way into the living room of the library. He then took a seat on the floor, deciding he should eat this pie before something else ridiculously unpredicted happens.

He was too late.

Before he could take the first bite of his pie, he heard glass shatter above him, only to see a crazed light blue Pegasus with an unkempt dark blue mane staring at his pie. Spike recognized the Pegasus as none other than Soarin, co-captain of the Wonderbolts, and his good friend.

“Hey Spike… nice pie you got there buddy. It’d be a shame if something happened to it.” During that entire monologue, Soarin had not taken his eyes off the pie and had began drooling at the prospect of devouring said treat.

Spike already knew where this was headed the second Soarin burst through the window. So when Soarin began to menacingly walk down the wooden steps of the library, Spike knew he could do without the pie. So he then place the pie down, gently of course, in front of himself.

“It’s all yours bu-“ but before he could finish his sentence, Soarin had dived face first into the pie throwing all manners out the window he destroyed, “and I’m not paying for that window,” Spike said as he lifted a claw and pointed towards the window. After the pie had been devoured, Soarin traced the claw to see the damage he would have to pay off.

“It’s alright little dude, this pie was so~ worth whatever that window costs,” Soarin smiled reassuringly at the dragon, “and besides, I’m a Wonderbolt.”

“Yeah, whatever… anyways, are you ready for tonight?” A grin from Soarin was all Spike had needed to see.

“Yeah, I got the tickets to the club we’re going to. The guys said they’d be meeting us there.” Both Soarin and Spike were pumped for the night ahead of them, sure Soarin was nearing 40, but his friend Spike was about to reach the pinnacle of his life, and Soarin wouldn’t miss it for the world; that, and he was curious as to what kind of drunk Spike would turn out to be.

“Hey, what was the name of that club… was it the 'Epileptic Unicorn'? I always forget stuff like that, right before we go.” Spike couldn’t remember the name of the club the infamous DJ-Pon3 would be tearing up next. This was another thing he looked forward to; he had never seen her live, but Spike was a huge fan of Dubtrot, and the music the DJ produced.

“Yeah you got it little dude, The Epileptic Unicorn, it’s one hell of a name if you ask me. I heard that DJ-Pon3 was playing there next, so I thought I'd treat us to a little VIP section. One of the perks to being a Wonderbolt.”

“Well, we better head out and get the guys together, I’d like a little pre-party before we head out.” Spike began glancing towards the doorway, but was cut short as his stomach grumbled rather loudly. Soarin began to snicker, only succeeding in pissing of the younger dragon, “what are you laughing at? You ate my lunch, you dick.”

“Whoa, no curses kid, or I’ll tell Twilight on you.” Soarin said with a smug grin glued to his face.

It took all of Spike’s will-power to not murder him right where he sat, friend or foe didn’t matter, he was pissed. That, and he was a foot taller and far stronger than Soarin, sure Soarin could fly, but in a closed area he stood no chance against the dragon. “Alright Soarin, we should get going. Let’s go see Mac, maybe he’s done with his chores by now.” Spike said through gritted teeth.

“Whoa calm down, I was kidding. Anyways, let’s get going. As for Shining and Flash, we’ll have to trust them to show up. Unless you feel like walking to the Crystal Empire."

Spike didn’t have to answer, he just walked over to the door and held it open for Soarin. “After you.”

“Why thank you sir.” Soarin was the first out into the lively town of Ponyville. The pegasi had done a great job at clearing the sky, and so the sun was shining bright, as Soarin and Spike began the trek over to Sweet Apple Acres.

Author's Note

Edited by the wonderfully fabulous, Auroric Shadow

He's my waifu, and I once again hope y'all enjoyed mah story. As far as the other chapters go, we'll have them edited in due time. Even if I owe a chapter to everypony.

Round Up [Part 2]

Spike’s Drunken Spree

Chapter 2: Round Up [Part 2]

As Spike and Soarin made their way through the small town of Ponyville, they waved and greeted the familiar faces that they had seen among the crowd. After a long 20 minutes of walking and idle conversation, Spike and Soarin had reached the gates of Sweet Apple Acres. The farm was silent, the only sounds that could be made out were the bucking of apple trees and the apples that fell afterwards.

“Looks like Mac isn’t exactly ‘done’ with his chores… hey, Soarin?” Spike began, stopping to look over to his friend who had also stopped, but couldn’t help but notice the mischievous look etched on Spike’s face.

“Yeah…”

“We should totally scare the hay out of Mac, I’ve never seen him scared. Come to think of it, the guy only has like what, two emotions?” Spike began to think back to his entire time knowing the big farm pony, only to realize he never really showed emotion. Sure, he would talk to them, even if it was brief, but he always sounded like a robot… so very emotionless. “Come to think of it, I don’t think he has any emotion…”

“Yeah little dude, Mac is like a bucking machine. Get it? Bucking machine?... eh~” Soarin asked, while grinning arrogantly at the drake who wasn’t amused with his pun in the slightest.

“Just… no, no Soarin… just no,” Spike was about to face-claw before he realized they hadn’t moved an inch since they got to the farm, “shouldn’t we be getting Big Mac, or do I have to stand here and die from your crappy puns?”

“Oh… heh, heh. That’s right, we still gonna scare him?” Soarin flashed Spike a sheepish smile.

“You bet your sweet ass we are.” Spike was now grinning with contemplation, but before he could forget about Soarin’s pathetic pun, he was hit with something far worse.

“But I don’t know any donkeys…” The look on Soarin’s face showed nothing more than his ignorance. Being the jock that Soarin is, ignorance isn’t something Spike would put past him.

Spike gave into his temptation, and brought his hand to his face, and smacked it against his head, in a loud face-claw, or face-palm. Soarin looked at him, slightly confused, but before he could question the drake, Spike began to walk towards the sound of trees being bucked.

*****

It was as any other day in Sweet Apple Acres, Big Macintosh and his sister were bucking Apples in the east orchard. Soon enough they arrived at the last few trees in the orchard, and Big Macintosh was more than relieved. “Hey AJ?” Applejack turned to see what her older sibling wanted, “Do ya mind if ah go out with Spike today? He’s turning 21, and ah reckon somepony needs to watch after him at the clubs. Ah’d leave it to Shining, Soarin, and Flash, but Celestia knows those stallions aren’t responsible enough to watch him.”

Big Macintosh rarely talked in whole sentences, which Applejack knew meant he was excited for the event, and didn’t see it entirely as a responsibility. “Alright, ya can go, but ah reckon if ya come back to the farm drunk, I’ll buck ya to Canterlot. Now go, ah suppose you should go and get rea-“ the farm pony was stopped mid-sentence by a loud slapping sound coming from the entrance of the farm. “What in tarnation was that?”

“Don’t worry bout it sis, ah reckon it was Spike or one of the guys. If ya want, I can go check it out for ya.” Mac was certain it was his friends, but he would be extra careful regardless. Mac wasn’t scared though, he was never scared of anything.

“Sounds like a good idea, now get a move on, ah’ll take care if these here apple trees.” Applejack began to walk back to the trees, which Big Mac took as his cue to head to the gates of the farm.

“Eeyup.” With that, Big Mac jumped into the nearest tree, and began to jump branch to branch, until he spotted the culprits. It was his friends, Spike, and Soarin. They were walking to where he had been bucking trees last, and he couldn’t help but notice the frustrated look on Spike’s face, as well as the red mark where he must’ve hit himself.

But that wasn’t what caught his eye about the two, they appeared to be sneaking around, avoiding the leaves that had been here and there. Big Mac wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he could tell when something was amidst.

“Now what in tarnation are those two planin?” Big Mac decided it wouldn’t hurt to ask and leapt out of the tree with a loud thud catching the attention of both Spike and Soarin, who looked like they had seen a ghost.

“WHOA, WHAT THE FUCK?!” Spike screamed after Big Mac had landed behind them, “Where did you even come from?”

Big Mac pointed towards the tree he leapt down from.

“The… tree?” Soarin asked, astonished by the fact that such a large stallion could be nimble enough to hide in a tree.

“Eeyup.” Mac hadn’t shown any emotion since he had touched down, he didn’t so much as flinch when Spike had screamed either.

“Forget it. Anyways are you free now? Me and Spike are having a little pre-party at the library, speaking of that. Hey Spike,” Soarin began, turning his attention away from the stallion, and looking up at the purple dragon next to him. “Is Twilight okay with you having a party at the library? Even if, it’s just the three of us?”

“I don’t see why she wouldn’t be, I’m pretty sure she trusts me, and I am the one who cleans up anyways. And Mac,” Spike turned to Mac, “You’re free today, right?”

“Eeyup.” They then proceeded to walk to the library to have a little get together.

Guy's Night Out

Spike’s Drunken Spree
Chapter 3: Guy’s Night Out

After hours of idle conversation, and gossip about the mares of Ponyville, the two stallions and dragon were preparing for the night out.

Spike was sure to wear his favorite shirt and vest, which weren’t hard to find, considering they were of the few pieces of clothing he washes on a regular basis. Meanwhile, Mac had on his new black Stetson, which he had bought recently, and was also wearing a vest, but Mac wore no undershirt. He wanted the mares to see his broad chest, and figured it’d help him in the long run. Soarin just wore his Wonderbolt costume, he figured his celebrity status would get him laid.

As they went about their respective business, Twilight couldn’t help but laugh at Spike looking so 'fly'. She thought the guys attempts at being sexy were absolutely hilarious. “Typical guys,” she said to herself, “thinking mares are after looks.” She had instantly stopped laughing when the large farm pony walked into the main room of the library.

“Well, how do ah look?” Mac asked, he was calm and cool, unlike Twilight, who dropped her book, and stared with her mouth agape. “Ah’ll take that as a compliment. Anyway, ya seen Spike around? It’s almost time ta leave.”

Twilight simply pointed upstairs, still left speechless from Mac’s new look.

Big Mac was fighting the urge to grin, but he knew it wasn’t the mature thing to do, and so he walked up the stairs to see if the drake was ready.

*****

“Lookin good Spike, lookin real good.” Spike couldn’t help but admire his reflection, and flex his muscles. The dragon wasn’t ‘ripped’ so to speak, but he was toned. He had to do something on his free time, besides take care of the library of course, and so he dedicated his free time to exercising.

“Uh Spike?” The deep voice had caused Spike to spin around, and then flush with embarrassment as he realized Big Mac had been watching his little display, “we should get goin, Soarin’s waitin for us, and he’s a might impatient.”

Spike smiled sheepishly, “yeah… good idea.” As Spike and Big Mac walked down the stairs and out the door, Spike had to say goodbye to the mare who raised him his entire life. “Bye Twilight, me and the guys are heading out.

“Spike, promise me you won’t get too drun-“ Twilight was cut off, when Spike and Big Mac flew out the door and into the streets of Ponyville.

*****

The night air was cold, and the street was near lifeless, as the two stallions made their way to the club they’d be meeting Shining and Flash at. They walked in a comfortable silence, just enjoying the scenery around them. It was a normal spring day in the town of Ponyville, and the pegasi had done a nice job of keeping the sky clear.

After a good ten minutes of walking, the trio had at last reached their destination. “Here we are guys, ‘The Epileptic Unicorn’ ...what are we waiting for? Let’s go get Flash and Shining!” The young drake could no longer contain his excitement, and dashed to find his allies. The two stallions had no choice but to give chase.

After about two minutes, they had lost sight of the dragon, but when they looked around, they both saw him talking to Shining Armor and Flash Sentry.

Soarin turned to face Mac, after they had both stopped running, and slowed down to a steady trot. “Looks like he found them, huh?”

Macintosh answered with his signature, “Eeyup.”

“Hey Spike, over here!” Soarin called to Spike, when they were within earshot.

The not so little dragon, walked over to them, “guys, I found them,we should totally get on line now.”

Soarin began to flash the arrogant grin that Spike hated with all his heart, “don’t worry about lines little dude, I’m a celebrity, we’ll get in no problem.”

With that Spike, Soarin, Big Mac, Flash, and Shining Armor, showed their ID's, and entered the club without problem, as promised, and what they had seen and heard when they had entered was breathtaking to say the least, but this only succeeded in further exciting the dragon.

*****

The club was dark, yet illuminated by many different colors, Vinyl Scratch was shaking the club with the intense bass of the song that she was playing, and ponies were dancing; or what a drunk would call dancing. But what truly enraptured Spike, was the bar to the far right of the entrance.

Soarin took a moment to absorb the entire scene around him, it was familiar, and he knew it was going to be a fun night out. He then noticed Spike staring at the bar, eyes wide with anticipation, and decided to give the dragon his ‘gift’ prematurely, “Drinks are on me guys!”

Soarin then began to lead Spike, and the rest of the guys to the bar. Shining and Flash were talking about guard stuff, and Mac was dead silent.

After a minute of maneuvering through drunken ponies, they had reached the bar.
“Bar keep! 5 glasses of the strongest stuff you’ve got!” Soarin called to the bartender, who began to make the concoction.

“Uh, you sure I can handle that Soarin?” Spike was a bit nervous, he never had alcohol in the past, and he was now about to drink a glass of the strongest drink that the bar served.

“Don’t worry Spike, you gotta get the hard stuff out the way first, so the rest is smooth sailing.” Soarin noticed the bartender put the drinks in front of them, and gave the required bits to him.

“Soarin’s right Spike, you should trust him, he drinks more than all of us combined.” Shining Armor said, while grinning at Soarin, who looked offended.

“That’s not true, Big Mac drinks more than me! Dude has an entire cellar of hard cider. Isn’t that right Mac?” Soarin was now facing Mac, who showed no emotion, as always.

“Eeyup. But ya still drink more than everypony else here.” Mac stated simply.

“You know Soarin, Mac is kind of right. I can hardly get a sip working as a guard, the stuff’s forbidden, and to be honest, I like having a job, right Shining?” Flash turned to Shining.

“Yeah, I can’t drink either, being Captain has it’s responsibilities; that, and Cadence would kill me.” All 5 of them shared a quiet laugh, then turned to the drinks, each taking the mug that was in front of them.

They raised their mugs, and everypony, save for Spike, shouted in unison, “TO SPIKE!” and they downed their mugs. Spike almost choked halfway in, but managed to push his way through the mug.

“Yeah Spike! Taking it like a champ!” Shining Armor felt a bit of pride well up inside him. He’s known the drake for years, and so watching him turn into a stallion, or adult for lack of better terms, certainly brought a smile to his face.

“BAR KEEP! ANOTHER ROUND!” Soarin shouted out to the bartender, who was serving another mare.

Spike traced his eyes to the mare, and quickly looked away, a slight tinge of pink on his scales. ‘Wow, she’s cute. I wonder what her name is…’

“Hey guys, who’s that?” Spike asked, lifting his claw to point at the mare who caught his eye.

“That there’s Golden Harvest, but some call her Carrot Top, she’s the local carrot farmer round these parts, ya should go talk to her Spike.” Big Mac gave the dragon an encouraging smile, which caught Spike off guard. He had never seen Mac anything else but serious, or calm, whatever emotion it was.

“Uh… I’ll talk to her… later.” Spike was now blushing from embarrassment.

“Spike and Carrot Top, sitting in a tree, k-i-ss-i-n-g!” Flash began to sing, Spike hadn’t noticed how much of a light weight he was. Spike, who had never drank alcohol, to this point, was holding it down better than the already drunk Flash Sentry.

Before Spike could formulate a response, the bartender refilled their mugs, and Soarin paid him off again. Spike didn’t want to explain any further, so he grabbed his mug and quickly downed the liquid.

“Woah Spike, gotta watch how you drink that, if you chug it like that, it’ll go straight to your head.” Soarin advised, while holding back a snicker at the now tipsy Spike.

“Don- don’t tell me… what to do…” Spike began, “I’m… a big boy now.” Spike was feeling a bit light headed, but awesome none the less.

His little monologue, was enough to send the guys over the edge, and they all broke out laughing, before downing their drinks. Soarin then ordered another round of drinks.

*****

Spike looked over to the yellow coated, and orange maned mare, and then turned back to the guys, his head was now spinning, but he felt in control, in power.

“Hey, you- you guys, *hiccup* I’m turning mah swag on, heh, heh. Swagatronic awsuhm mode on!” Spike’s words were slurred, as were the rest of the guys, save for Mac. Soarin had long since left to go flail around on the dance floor, and Mac was the same as when he walked into the bar, even if he drank the same amount as the others, he was tipsy at best; if not, completely unphased.

“Go get her *hiccup* tiger!” Flash had said, his head now resting on the bar counter, “did I ever mention, how… how soft this counter-thing is?” Flash began snickering, only to pass out a second later.

“Eenope.” Mac said, holding back a laugh of his own.

“Shut- shut up, I’m *hiccup* a, a dragon… not a tiger.” Spike got up and wobbled a bit, stumbling over to the mare he had his eyes on.

After a few seconds of what he had passed for walking, Spike reached Carrot Top, “H-hey there beautiful, how about we dance, and see where the night takes us?” Spike’s voice was uncharacteristically smooth even if a bit slurred, and alluring.

Carrot Top began to blush at the thought of dancing with such a handsome hunk of a dragon. “O-okay.” Her voice was almost too quiet to hear, but had been heard, nonetheless.

“But b-before that... let me buy you a drink. What would you like my lady?” Spike had long since stopped hiccupping, and did his best to not trip over his words.

“An appletini would be nice…” her small voice and blush, only gave Spike more confidence, as he ordered the two drinks.

As Spike waited for the drinks, he turned to the mare, “Hey, your name is Carrot Top… right?

“Yeah, and you’re the librarian’s dragon, Spike is it?” Carrot Top and Spike began to idly chat, until the drinks came. As he downed his glass everything became a blur, then went black.

Author's Note

YAY x3

Another chapter down. I'm having a shit-ton of fun writing this, even if I need an editor. The story is picking up now, and will resume when Spike returns from blacking out. I'm writing it, so that Spike completely loses his memories after that point, to wake up in an extremely awkward/random kind of situation.

I hope everypony likes this so far. I might add the next chapter later today, or sooner.

The Hangover

Spike’s Drunken Spree

Chapter 4: The Hangover

Spike awoke, bringing his claw to the back of his head in a futile attempt to suppress the throbbing pain emitting from said area. However, when he attempted to lift his arms, he was met with an external force which stopped him from doing so.

After a moment of forcing his eyes open, he looked over, only to see Carrot Top snuggled up against his chest, a look of sheer happiness plastered on her face. The sight of the sleeping mare caused Spike to sigh in content, and so he went to move a piece of stray mane from the beautiful mare’s face, only to realize his other arm was trapped as well.

Spike turned to see what had held his arm in place, only to find two more mares unconscious in his arms. He recognized one as the DJ of the club he was at last night, but the other mare remained a mystery. She had a dark, near black mane, and a grayish-brown coat.

Every fiber of his body said to scream, logic however, prevented him from doing so.

He slowly removed his arms from under the mares around him, and lifted himself off his bed, only to freeze with shock at what lay before him; his room was cleaner than it had ever been in the past, everything was neatly organized, and the once unkempt floor now eradicated of the mountain of clothing that had once rested there.

Looking back at the mares he had brought home, Spike couldn’t help but wonder what had happened last night; more so, why three mares were cuddling with him when he had awoken. He had wanted to believe he had gotten lucky, but he knew not to be so optimistic; optimism just makes the truth harder to swallow, and he had learned his lesson with Rarity long ago.

“Well, ain’t this dand-“ Spike was cut off by another painful throb of pain in the back of his head, and he clutched his head, gritting his teeth until it had passed. Spike had figured the pain and nausea had been part of a so called ‘hangover’.

Spike stumbled out the door of his room, only to be greeted with the aroma of breakfast. “Is Twi already up? Huh, guess I’ll have to see for myself,” with that, Spike began his descent down his new enemy, stairs. Walking down stairs while hung over was the most difficult thing the dragon has had to do so far, but he succeeded nonetheless.

Spike had heard the familiar rattle of silverware, but came to realize; Twilight is horrible at cooking, and the aroma didn’t give off any signs of being burnt. Allowing his curiosity to get the better of him, Spike rounded the corner into the kitchen of the library, where he saw two more mares preparing a breakfast. One being a teal unicorn, with a light blue and white mane, who was preparing the table, and cleaning what little mess had been made. Meanwhile, the other mare, had a pale yellow coat, and a curly navy blue and pink mane, and she was preparing the last of the breakfast.

Spike was about to clear his throat to announce his presence amongst them, but it would seem he didn’t need to, as the mare with the teal coat approached him, eyes half lidded.

“Hey there scales, did you have fun last night?” she spoke in a sultry tone, enough to make Spike’s scales turn a deep shade of crimson. “I’ll take that as a yes, now sit down, me and Bonnie are almost done with breakfast.

Spike was left utterly speechless, and so he obeyed her, taking the seat at the head of the table. Spike however, still wasn’t sure on whether or not he had gotten laid last night, even if everything was pointing towards it.

“So what exactly happened last night? It’s all kind of a blur to me.”

“You seriously don’t remember?” Spike shook his head. “I feel bad for you, last night was awesome. That thing you did with your tongue,” the mare let out a wistful sigh, “was incredible.” The mare was now grinning as she relived the events of the previous night.

“So… we did it?” Spike wanted an answer, if it meant being blunt, then so be it.

“Yeah, it was crazy. I didn’t think you had it in you, but you took me, Carrot, Bonnie, Vinyl, and Octy at the same time! It’s a good thing you have two dicks, otherwise we might have been i-“

Spike couldn’t help but grin, try as he might to suppress it, the thought of losing his virginity to 5 mares was too awesome. “So… all six of us, huh?”

“Yup!” the teal mare beamed.

Even if Spike was blushing hard, he still grinned, but said grin changed to a sheepish smile as he remembered the fact that he didn’t know these mares at all. “I hope this doesn’t offend you but, what’s your name?”

“Lyra Heartstrings. That’s my friend Bon Bon, and the gray mare upstairs is Octavia.” Spike nodded, taking in this new info.

Spike broke out of his thoughts, and asked a question that had been on his mind since he saw her. “So~ I still don't know what happened last night... do you, by any chance, remember?”

“Well, yeah. I wasn’t at the club when I met you, kinda saw you walking with three mares, making me and Bon Bon a little curious. One thing led to another, and we had an orgy. If you want I could tell you what happened from when we started walking with you.” Lyra was now grinning, seems like she enjoyed telling stories or something. “Take a sea… oh yeah, you’re already sitting. Well I’ll take a seat then.” Lyra pulled out a chair and sat down, as Bon Bon began serving breakfast. “STORY TIME!” Lyra shouted, just before she began to tell her grand tale of epicness.

Author's Note

HA! GET CLIFFHANGER'D N00B

I'll release the next chapter picking up right after her story. The next chapter is going to be about Spike hearing the mares different takes on what happened last night.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED!

Loose Ends

Spike's Drunken Spree

Chapter 5: Loose Ends

After Spike had asked all the mares their parts of the story, Spike had summarized what he was told into something far easier to understand.

Spike was drunk, Vinyl and Octavia, were also drunk. Carrot Top was tipsy, but really liked Spike, something he would come back to at a later time. And Lyra and Bon Bon wanted to have an orgy. Twilight was gone, and so he assumed he was in the clear as far as that goes.

The girls were gathered in the main room of the library, all ready to leave and attend to their own business, but Spike had other plans regarding them.

"So that's what happened?" Spike asked, just as they were going to leave.

"Yes." The mares managed to say in unison.

"You know you're all welcome to stay, but I know you all have things to attend to, don't let me stop ya." Spike said, his tone coated with dissapointment. The mares began pouring out of the library, but before Spike could leave he was stopped by a hoof to the shoulder.

"I said you cou-" Spike was cut off by a set of pale yellow lips being pressed against his own, even though Spike was surprised, he kissed back. The kiss ended almost as soon as it began, and Spike couldn't say he minded. "...go... uh, what was that about?"

Carrot Top stood there, refusing to make eye contact, and now sporting a heavy blush. " I really like you Spike, and I'd love if we can do this again sometime... maybe under some new circumstances though." Carrot giggled, still blushing.

"Um, how about tonight, if you want I could take you to dinner, just tell me when you're available. In case you didn't know, just because I was drunk doesn't mean I didn't know what I was doing when I saw you... I'm talking too much, so um... how about seven?" Spike was now a wee bit nervous, even if he didn't know her too well, he could at least say he was attracted to her.

"Seven is fine but," Carrot Top looked up to make eye contact, the dragon did the same, as their eyes met, time seemed to freeze. Spike was lost in her beautiful orange eyes, and she in his glorious emeralds. "...can we just stay here, I don't really like going out..."

"That's fine by me." Spike was once again caught off guard by Carrot's lips meeting his own.

Carrot Top made her way out of the library, looking back at Spike's blushing face and giggling a bit as she did so. "See you at seven!" She called, closing the door on her way out.

"See you... at seven." Spike then left to complete his chores, still curious as to where Twilight had gone, but just as the thought had crossed his mind, a knock at the door caused him to stop what he was doing.

Spike opened the door to see an angry Twilight, levatating a blanket and pillow. "Uh... hi?" Spike was scared, it had been a while since he's seen her this upset, let alone, was the cause of it. "Would you like to come in?"

Twilight made her entrance without a word, the tension in the atmosphere had Spike in a chokehold. "What happened Twi?"

SNAP! If she was able to restrain herself before, she was over the edge now. "WHAT HAPPENED?! YOU AND YOU'RE LITTLE MARE FRIENDS HAPPENED! I HAD TO SLEEP AT RARITY'S FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE!"

Spike could do nothing but smile sheepishly. "Uh, if you want I'll do your chores, and clean up, and cook lunch for you."

"YOU BETTER!" And so Twilight stomped upstairs, followed by her pillow and blanket.

"OH AND I HAVE A DATE AT SEVEN!" Spike called up to Twilight, who promptly slammed her bedroom door shut, "okay... back to cleaning I guess... "

Author's Note

And~ before everyone gets their underwear in a knot, I plan to add a chapter in each mare's perspective, starting a minute or so before they encounter the stud muffin known as Spike. That, and I'll be adding two or three bonus chapters, that will contain short stories, that nay, or may not be related to this. And~ of course, there will be a sequel following Spike and Carrot Top's budding relationship, so I hope you enjoyed you sexy walruses.

And I'll edit this in a bit.

See you at seven!

Spike's Drunken Spree

Chapter 6: See you at seven!

Some prefer not to do it on the first date, as it is something frowned upon in the pony society, it would cause a mare to look 'easy' or so they say. But has anypony taken the stallions change of reputation in the same scenario? You'd say he's lucky, or smooth; mostly compliments and jealousy of his success.

Spike was experiencing both the latter, and for some reason the former. Even after he completed his offered chores, he was still on Twilight's bad side, and she was a bit upset that Spike would give himself to the mares so easily; regardless of the fact that he had assured her it was for the better. After all, he got a date, and~ he got laid, in the eyes of any male in general, he would be considered beyond lucky as is, but to sleep with multiple mares, would surely turn him into a historical figure of the sort.

As he served lunch to Twilight at the library, he had to constantly assure himself to be correct, because after a while, Twilight's lectures can cause you to lose your sanity; much like Pinkie Pie's remarkable ability to rant.

"For the last time Twi, I was drunk, and I had no control over my actions. I'm sorry that you had to sleep at Rarity's, and if you want, I'll dust the shelves again." Spike spoke automatically, he knew the only way to get back on Twilight's good side was to appologize and offer his assistence, much like slave labor if you put the entire thing into perspective, but Spike didn't mind really. Him and Twilight are friends, and just because she's his employer doesn't change that.

"Alright Spike, I guess it's okay," progress! "but~ don't think I'm letting you off so easily. I expect the shelves dust free, and a behaved little dragon by the time I get back from the market." After Twilight finsihed eating, she stood and left with an audible, HMPH!

"... I'm as tall as Celestia by the way..." Spike said under his breath, and with that, he was all alone again. "Well. Guess I better get dusting."

And yes, as you guessed, he dusted the bookshelves into oblivion. Satisfied with his handywork, Spike grinned but his smile fell as he saw the time. It was 2:00pm. Twilight has been gone for two hours, which was far longer than it should take to get groceries to re-stock the fridge.

Spike fetched a piece of parchment, hastily writing and then dashing out of the library. The note simply stated he would be leaving for two hours, to go see what Big Mac had been up to. It was the only thing Spike could think to do for the time being, he just wanted to get out of the library to be honest.

5 hours left.

Spike entered Sweet Apple Acres, and once again proceeded to the sound of apple trees being bucked and the sound of falling apples that would follow suite. It took him a minute to reach the western part of the orchard that the sounds were being emitted from, and about another minute to reach the large red stallion behind half of the sound. Applejack was there too.

"Hey Mac! What are you up to? Bucking the west orchard, huh?" Spike called as he was well within earshot, the sudden sound caused Applejack to jump a bit, but didn't affect Mac at all.

"Eeyup." Mac smashed the apples loose from the tree he was near, moving to the next.

"Ya need help with any of that?" Spike was bored, and even if he wasn't one for physical labor, it was still better than the dusty bookshelves that would await him at the library. Yeah, he had just dusted, but dust seemingly gathered at an impossible rate in the library.

"Eenope." Mac stood, hindlegs to the trees, and bucked hard, as the apples fell into the baskets, the tree had been surrounded by. As was the routine at Sweet Apple Acres.

"Anything interesting I can do? I'm dying of boredom over here." Spike looked at Mac with pleading eyes, which he never saw, considering he had just walked to the next apple tree. Spike sometimes wondered how him and Mac were friends, when their conversation were so... uneventful, for lack of better terms.

"Eenope." And Mac simply bucked the tree he was in position for, moving, once again to the next. To Spike, farm labor could be so mundane, and he couldn't understand how the Apples were able to stand this. Aside from the steady bit income, Spike saw no perks to the job, especially not entertainment wise. Spike of course, would never say this out loud, for fear of Mac's reaction to the insult.

"Kay, guess I'll just... go." And so he did.

4 hours left

The walk back to Ponyville was uneventful, as it always has been, and so Spike decided to check the market for Twilight.

It was a good walk from Sweet Apple Acres back to the library, but Spike couldn't say he minded, the fresh air was well appreciated.

As Spike entered the bustling market, he couldn't help but notice the vendor at the carrot stand, which happened to be; yeah you guessed it, Carrot Top. His date for tonight.

Spike made his way over to the mare, to say he was nervous was an understatement. Spike had decided he should wait for the date, but fate had disagreed as Carrot called him over.

"Hey Spike, how are you doing? Carrot asked.

"Good. Good. I'm a little nervous about tonight though, I mean... I barely know you." Spike began chucking by the time he had finished his reply.

"Well duh, that's why we're having this date," Spike blushed as she used the word date, Spike was new to all this dating crud, and last night was his first physical contact with mares since he was in school. But those were crushes, and puppy love, all that bullshit. This was a DATE, with a beautiful mare no less. It's funny because when he was a whelp he used to picture himself as Prince Charming and Rarity as a damsel in distress. But once again, puppy love, and all that bullshit. "To get to know eachother."

"Yeah... that sounds about right. Well it was nice seeing you Carrot, I'll see you at seven!" Spike had called to her, as he made his way back into the library.

Author's Note

Sorry for taking so long to update, I've had to draw some shit lately x3

But here ya go, this chapter has yet to be edited, and so when I finish this story, I'll have my friend look it over. And I'll be wrapping this story up soon, so that I can post a sequel :D

It's going to follow Carrot Top and Spike on their journey ERVV LEERRRVVV! Until then, Shortcake OUT!

Bonus Chapter 1

Spike's Drunken Spree

Chapter 7: Bonus Chapter 1

Meanwhile in the Canterlot Castle

"We are most pleased to be spending time with our older sister." Luna said as she lowered herself into her mattress. Her and Celestia were about to read the first book in the Daring Do Saga. Celestia had remembered her dear sister had yet to read the phenomenal story, and so decided on a little late night sister time, to which Luna had to agree to, considering it's been a thousand years since they've last did something of the sort.

"As am I dear sister, now may we begin our story?" Celestia levatated a book over to Princess Luna, who grabbed it out of her grasp.

Luna smiled, opening the book to the first page."We may."

An hour had flown by, and they were enraptured in the story, so much so, that they didn't realize they were being watched.

A grey mare, with a yellow mane, and a wall eye stare, focused intently for a window of opportunity for her to strike. She awaited the signal from General Snowflake, while peering over the window into the royal bedroom.

"May I strike General?" Derpy whispered into the headphones attached to her suit. It was nothing more than a simple black rubber outfit, and spy goggles, she had borrowed it from her friend Pinkie Pie.

"YEAH!" Snowflake screamed, launching Derpy into action.

The grey mare flew through the window, sliding to the Princesses, then did a double front flip, slamming the spell blocking rings onto their horns before they had a moment to react. Derpy landed perfectly turning back to the Princesses, but was met with a dark blue hoof to the face. Derpy jumped back, as Luna pushed forward.

Luna threw another hit straight to Derpy, who was ready as ever, and swiftly push her hoof away, and countered with a hit of her own which hit Luna in the gut. Unfortunately Luna did not slow down, and didn't plan to.

The two continued the exhange, fighting blow for blow, flying around and whatnot, that was until the other Princess decided to step in. "I command you both to stop this! AT ONCE!" She spoke with a firm authority which was foreign from her tongue, but this phased neither mares.

The exchange was to end as Derpy delivered a solid kick to Luna's jaws and flipped away, using her wings to push her off the ground and guide her. Luna's body fell limp, and hit the floor rather hard.

"One down one to g-" Derpy was cut off by an unnaturally strong punch to her jaw, causing her to fall back, leaving herself vulnerable as she lay trying to regain her senses.

As she began to stand up, she was met by another staggering hit to her side, causing her to fall back down and cough up a bit of blood.

"You have 5 seconds to leave, shall you stay, you will meet your end." Derpy looked up to see the source of the cold, hateful voice, only to see Celestia standing above her. Celestia's eyes were glowing white, and her mane and tail were ablaze. It was far more than enough to unnerve the pegasus, causing her to shake in fear.

"5. 4. 3. 2..." Celestia had begun counting down, as Derpy wobbled to her feet, and flew out the window. Celestia returned to her normal state, as she sighed, "1..." She then turned her attention to the now waking Princess Luna. She walked over and lifted her up, removing the spell block on her horn, Celestia's had been turned to ash as she changed before, allowing her to remove the one on Luna's horn with ease.

She whispered in Luna's ear words of reassurance, as she did when Luna was upset in the past. "It's alright LuLu, I'm here, it's all gonna be okay..."

Celestia hoisted Luna on her back, as she made her way to the medical wing of the castle, "It's all gonna be okay." Celestia allowed a tear to fall as she carried her now injured sister through the halls.

Author's Note

Still needs editing :3

Bonus Chapter 2

Spike's Drunken Spree

Chapter 8: Bonus Chapter 2

Meanwhile, in Fluttershy's cottage a group of 4 had gathered.

You may not be aware but on her free time Fluttershy is the lead singer of her own band, "Snapping Turtle Blowjobs" who happened to be the number one metal band in Equetria. They were practicing for their next gig, which they'd perform their new song, "Take Us Where Your Heart Guides You" which was a work in progress, they needed done in a day.

The band consisted of Lyra Heartstrings, who played the electric guitar, Octavia Philharmonica on the bass, Derpy Hooves on the drums, and Fluttershy on the mic. (For future references, capitals refer to the parts of the song that is being screamed, yes it's a screamo band, and yes Fluttershy does possess unmatched screaming abilities.)

"Um... if it's okay with everypony... it'd be nice if we could... start the song?" Fluttershy spoke in her usual timid voice, as the intro of the song began to be played. The song was your basic fast paced metal song, and her band was incredibly focused, already losing themselves in the music. Fluttershy was nervous, as always, but was also determined to get this right. After the 30 second intro had passed, the guitar pace slowed, making way for the first verse.

We're searching, we're so lost~

I'm praying... but my sounds hit back like a rubber ball~

Can you tell me where to go? There's no where I wouldn't so

Take my hand and run with me, there's so much more to see,

I know I'll never be lost with you~

So take us to where your heart guides you

The guitars began to pick up pace, as did the drums, causing the song to be thrown into the chorus:

I'M JUST SO LOST!

PLEASE HELP ME OUT!

TELL ME WHY YOU ABANDONED ME, WHEN YOU~ KNEW I COULDN'T DO WITHOUT?!

The guitars began to slow down, the song reaching a calm, yet slow pace. Fluttershy took a moment or two to catch her breath, as the pace slowly increased, leading into the second verse:

Shut out your mind and you'll be find

Escape all the dillusion, all these illusions

As time goes on, don't bid farewell

Even if we're lost and searching, and your mind we're overworking

Regardless of what you have been through~

Just take us to where your heart guides you~

Everything reverted to the calm portion of the song, the guitars being slowly plucked, as Derpy began to beat the drums every other second. This led to the bridge of the song, to which Fluttershy lowered her voice, closer to her usual volume and began to sing:

I'm all alone~

You had my heart in a shell, oh~ oh~

Even if you're gone, and even if I'm still lost...

I'll find a way there on my own~

The guitars and drum, came back full force, driving the song straight into the chorus:

I'M JUST SO LOST!

PLEASE HELP ME OUT!

TELL ME WHY YOU ABANDONED ME, WHEN YOU~ KNEW I COULDN'T DO WITHOUT?!

Tell me. Why you had abandoned ME?~

When you know I couldn't do~ without.

With that, the song came to an end, all the band members we're already exhausted, but as they looked up, they saw another pony standing at the door with her jaw seemingly unhinged. Everypony save for Fluttershy, had no clue who she was. But Fluttershy knew she was Twilight, and began to blush, and hide behind her mane.

"Oh um... hi Twilight... I- um... I can explain?" Fluttershy said sheepishly.

"You're... duh... uh... you- you're... duhr... Fluttershy? YOU'RE the singer of "Snapping Turtle Blowjobs"?!

"Um... yes?" Fluttershy once again, replied timidely, still unsure of what to make of this situation.

Twilight on the other hand couldn't believe she had discovered the band's identities. The band always showed up in concert wearing suits covering their identity, but this revalation was too much for poor Twilight's mind. Her best friend, was the lead singer of the band, her favorite band no less, and so Twilight fainted like a bitch.

"Oh... my." Fluttershy turned to her band mates, who looked just as confused, but mostly speechless as to this entire occurrence.

"Uh Fluttershy, I can cast a memory spell if you'd like... it wouldn't be too hard to make her forget today." Offered the sea foam colored unicorn, known as Lyra.

"That'd be... nice." Fluttershy, and her band proceeded to walk over to the unconscious Twilight Sparkle, but not before Derpy had flown in and teabagged her nerdy face.

"Ha! Get... shit on noob!" Derpy began to repeatedly drop her non-existant nuts on Twilight's face.

"Stop being such a ruffian Ditzy, it's rather appauling." Complained a slightly annoyed Octavia.

"OKAY!" Derpy shouted as she flew off Twilight, and smashed her head into the ceiling of Fluttershy's cottage. "Whoops!"

Lyra casted her super duper magical sparkle shit spell, and they all lived happily ever after, save for Twilight who was left out on the streets at night, and got ass raped by Snowflake aka Muscle Pony. Her anus was never the same.

THE END

Author's Note

The song was a spur of the moment kind of thing, so sorry about that. I just got bored is all, please daddy, don't beat me!