Star Wars: The Hidden Chronicles

by Fussan

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Other, Sex
Length: 85038

When a group of unruly, violent, and generally unpleasant "associates" have a Hyperdrive malfunction, they end up where they should. In an innocent world of ponies. What do they do? They do what they do best: Make sure everything possible s

When the unnamed group tries to get back home to escape yet another all-powerful psychopath that wants to kill them, a malfunctioning Hyperdrive makes this impossible. But, that can be expected when you set the coordinates to "3000 years ago" and put the ship in reverse. So, yeah...
But the coordinates seemed to translate the entry into the correct location that a certain colorful, happy, ponyful place in the Galaxy, just beyond the outer rim. They didn't make the best first impressions, but they seem to have been able to stay long enough to make it into the planets history. And it was important and dangerous enough to be cataloged into the areas of the archives forbidden to any Jedi.
So what will the group do to survive their latest adventure? Well, I don't know- YET! I'm only telling you what I find in the archives. Hopefully I can finish before my master finds me and I get in trouble. My name is Mavis, and I'm a Padawan to Master Raay. I'm where I shouldn't be, recounting a story that you shouldn't hear, about a group that never should have existed.
This should be interesting...

Cover art not by me, give credit to the actual maker. This is my first attempt at a crossover, so if it turns out horrible, not my fault. In case you're wondering who the people are in the story, they don' exist. They're from a D&D game that me and my friends play. Constructive criticism is appreciated as well as words of "Good job, bro!"

Published 2013-11-29 00:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-17 17:15:11 UTC

Lunacy & Mind Control

Orion sped down the hallways with the perky pink party pony perched precariously on his shoulders. He was currently running for his dear life, trying to dodge and avoid blasts of some kind of weird Force powers and attacks from the little, colorful ponies trying desperately to kill him. Now, that wouldn't have been a problem normally. But the fact that some of the ponies could fucking fly made things a lot more interesting.

And as he ran around another corner, the pony on his shoulders whooped in excitement, gripping her hooves around his head even tighter. "Whoo! Faster! Faster! Fa- Look out!" she screamed.

He had to duck as yet another airborne pony tried, and failed, to skewer him with a short spear. He laughed wildly as the pony crashed into its comrades, causing them to tumble to the ground, making an even bigger mess of the white marble hallway and shredding the plush rug with a tangle of weapons and armor. "Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm the fucking Muffin Man!" he screamed as he vaulted over a group of ponies waiting for him with the help of his Force powers.

The pink pony on his shoulders somehow managed to stick its head in front of his field of vision and gave him an odd look. "Why 'Muffin Man'?" she asked curiously.

He looked at her and smiled brightly. "Because muffins is gooooood!" he moaned with a drop of drool trailing down his face.

She just shrugged and reclaimed her previous position. "Makes sense to me," she said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

At that very moment, a huge explosion rocked the castle and caused Orion and the pony on his shoulders to get flung to the floor.

***

The world was yelling at him. Or, so Larry thought. He could just be drunk again. Yeah, that made sense. The world can't yell; that would just be stupid.

He pushed himself up from the ground and felt the world sway beneath him. Yeah, he was drunk. The half empty bottle he was still clutching in his hand confirmed that theory. The only thing odd about the picture was that everything was slightly sideways and he was sliding.

He looked at the floor and saw that he was standing on one of the panels that belonged on the ceiling. And almost as if on cue in some ameture and only slightly entertaining story, the panel slipped out from underneath his feet and sent him rolling down the floor to the far side of the room where he crashed into the wall, head first.

He waited a few seconds to be sure that it was over, and once he was sure that it was, he pushed himself up and made his way to the door of his room. He pushed the button to open the door, but it was jammed.

He thought about what he should do, and after thinking about it, could only come up with one solution.

He pulled his hands back and dropped in to a semi-focused trance. He gathered a large amount of Force into his hands, preparing for what he was about to do. After about half a minute of concentration, he shot his hands forward. The Force energy was enough to completely obliterate the door. But what he didn't know was that the force of his action sent his nightstand tumbling at him.

He didn't even realize what was happening when something hard suddenly struck his head, sending him sailing out of his room and rolling down the hallways of the ship. He didn't think about much during his roll, but he did manage to figure out that his bottle of rum was gone. He whined a bit at this, but as he hit yet another wall, his breath was cut short.

He wasn't sure how many walls he had hit, but he guesses that it was around three or four, along with a corner. And at one point or another, he was pretty sure that he had crushed Lily. He wasn't certain, but he was ready to bet credits on it from the small, girlish shout he heard when he slammed into something soft.

But after about a minute of this abuse, he landed hard on what felt like even ground. Unfortunately, the landing had winded him. So he lay there, gasping for air, and looking like a fish out of water the whole time.

But after what felt like hours, but was really about ten seconds, he was able to get some air back into his lungs.

He was about to get up, but a gentle, girlish yell caused him to look up. He saw Lily's scared face and pink hair just before she landed on top of him, knocking the breath out of him.

Lily groaned slightly. "Oohhh, I'm sorry..." she apologized in her usual quiet and timid voice.

There was a guttural groan and the sound of scales rubbing roughly against scales from in front of them.

Sharpe looked at them with a look that was a mixture of annoyance and exhaustion. "Why are Humans so stupid?" he asked tiredly of nobody in particular while rubbing his face with one clawed hand.

The small Gand at his side looked up at him with the Gand's own version of a pitying expression. "Because they're Humans?" Faiz asked in his own language which they all had learned over time.

And as if to back up his point, Megan rolled out of the ship and crashed in to the two that were just recovering, knocking over Lily and making her... Well, scream isn't what she did, but it was her own, quiet, version of a scream. She landed right on top of Larry, forcing the air out of his lungs as he cried out as best he could with no air in anger and twisted agony.

Megan groaned loudly and rolled off of Larry and onto her back. "Ow... That really hurt..." she said in a pained voice.

Then they all heard a voice behind them clear its throat.

Sharpe and Faiz turned to face the group of tiny ponies while Lily and Megan picked themselves up and Larry just rolled around crying from pain and neglect and whatever else he had to cry about. The two of them saw a larger, white pony with wings and a horn and an ethereal mane and tail staring at them with an unsure expression.

Sharpe could see the tension in her muscles, smell her fear, could practically feel her heartbeat. He smiled. "Well hello there, little pony. I'm sorry for the damage our ship caused, but it was unavoidable," he growl-hissed out. Grissed?

When he saw the pony take on a look of repressed horror, he couldn't help but laugh.

***

Celestia tensed even more when she heard him speak. His voice seemed to grind on her bones and cause her nerves to fray. And mixed with his appearance, his needle-like teeth, and the fact that he was almost seven feet tall and was built like a mountain, made her seriously question why she had thought it was a good idea to come this close to him.

Somehow, he saw through her front. She knew this from the way he seemed to study her for a few seconds before laughing at her.

That laugh... It sounded like a mixture of the high-pitched chortle of the hyenas of Zebrica and the low rumbling of a monstrous storm. It broke her front.

She took a few quick steps back, trying to get away from him. She didn't care if the others knew she was afraid of this creature, she needed to get away from him.

He saw her flee from him and smiled wide enough for his serpentine tongue to flick out of his mouth as he gave a quiet hiss. His eyes roved over her, glowing yellow like a thousand candles were lit behind them. His slitted pupils contracted and contorted unnaturally as he scanned different parts of her.

After almost a minute of this, she couldn't take any more of this. "I would like it if you stopped that," she said in a commanding voice. And it would have been impressive too, if her voice didn't crack.

Hearing this, the small, insectiod creature at the monster's side laughed. It made her skin crawl. Like the chittering squeal of a cockroach, but amplified loud enough to assault her ears.

She suddenly had an idea of why that first creature had run away from the crash. But speaking of...

There were three other creatures of the same sort behind the two monstrous beings standing before her. One was crying on the ground, and the other two were hiding behind the dragon-like thing, eyeing her curiously.

It spoke again. "I'm assuming from your crown that you are the ruler here?" it said questioningly.

She steeled her nerves and took a calming breath. "Yes. I am Princess Celestia, goddess of the Sun and protector of the day and everything that my light touches. Together with my sister, Princess Luna, goddess of the Moon and watcher of the night, and also my past pupil, Twilight Sparkle, leader of the Elements of Harmony, we watch over this land and protect it from any dangers that present itself." She finished her little speech with a strong stance, showing off her wings.

The large dragon creature only raised a scaly brow at her. "Well, good for you. I am Sharpe, master bounty hunter, killer of Jedi and Sith alike, and the best damn sharpshooter in the Galaxy."

Celestia's eyes widened. A bounty hunter and a killer?! Just how dangerous was this being...?

The small, buggy creature started chittering and clicking. It went on for about half a minute before it struck a heroic pose, throwing its head back and placing its hands on its hips.

Celestia only stared at it for a while, unsure of what to do.

The dragon creature cough harshly, drawing her attention. "He's a smuggler and an escape artist. As well as... A great adoptive father," he finished with a strange look at his companion.

They stood there with an awkward silence hanging over them for a few minutes, interrupted occasionally only be the sounds coming from the ruined starship.

"I'm Lily," a quiet voice spoke up suddenly.

Everyone in the room looked to one of the beings hiding behind the dragon creature. Judging by its voice, it was a female. She had pale white skin and long pink hair with light blue eyes. Her features were very subtle, and she had an air of youth and innocence about her. But her surprisingly curvy form was complimented well by the soft pink tones of her hooded robe. Her white and tan leatheris trench coat clashed slightly, but it made her look a little more serious than she normally would without wearing it.

Sharpe roughly grabbed her by both of her arms with a single hand and shoved her towards Celestia, making her blink. "Stop hiding, girl! you can't properly introduce yourself while behind me," he scolded.

The timid girl stumbled forward from the force of the huge creature's push and stopped just a few feet short of Celestia. She eyed the alicorn with hesitation, not sure what to think.

Celestia saw this girl and was immediately reminded of one of Twilight's friends, Fluttershy. She smiled gently and softened her gaze. "It's a pleasure to meet you, child," she said softly.

The girl, Lily, flashed a small smile and bowed slightly at the waist.

Just then a high, buzzing was heard.

Everyone in the room looked at the ship, which the sound was coming from. As they watched, the sound only grew louder.

"Well, that can't be good," Sharpe said in a worried tone.

Just then, the back of the ship flashed a bright white as the engine thrusters all exploded violently, sending all of them flying away from the ship and further destroying the already wrecked throne room.

***

The pair that was Pinkie Pie and Orion made their way through the white marble halls, searching for the source of the explosion. The plush red carpeting beneath their respective walking limbs made their steps near silent as they went. They sometimes past a guard, or a maid, but before they could scream and give away their position, Orion would wipe their mind and quickly knock them out.

The two of them noticed that the closer they got to the throne room, the more smoke there was. This worried Pinkie, but only made Orion wonder what exciting "asploshuns" he had missed. He hoped it wasn't too fun, or he would have to make it happen again so he could see it.

"What do you think happened?" Pinkie asked her new friend.

Orion closed his eyes for a few seconds before responding. "Well, nobody's dead, so it couldn't have been too bad. Oh! Maybe we can even do it again! But bigger!" he exclaimed excitedly.

Pinkie hopped up and down in place with a huge grin on her face. "Maybe we can even have it explode cake and pie and candy and confetti and streamers!"

Orion looked at her with a deadly serious expression. "That is the best idea I have ever heard in my life," he said in an expressionless tone and looked back ahead of them.

Pinkie cocked a brow at the strange man. He was way too random for his own good. And this only made her like him more.

They turned another corner and heard voices coming towards them.

They quickly ducked into a broom closet that was very conveniently placed and listened as the voices got closer. It was hard to tell from the dirty mop covering his head, but Orion thought that they were women.

"... eard that Princess Luna is furious! When she came in, they were all blow up! Luckily, she didn't get caught in the blast of... whatever that thing was," the first voice said. It had the faintest accent that made it sound as if it were hissing, but it was definitely female.

"Well, I'm just glad we got out of there before she got into a fight with that... thing..." the second voice, also a female, said with a shudder in her voice.

In just a few seconds, they would be in front of the door. Orion smiled wickedly.

"But anyway, what are we doing here?" the first voice asked.

"We're supposed to be finding some runaway alien that should be-" but she was interrupted.

Orion slammed the door open, causing them to scream. "RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!" he bellowed, and grabbed them both, pulling them into the closet and closing the door behind him.

The stopped screaming long enough to look at him. Then they took in another breath.

Orion waved his hand in front of both their faces. "You don't want to scream," he said calmly.

It took a few seconds, but the two of them visually calmed down.

On closer inspection, it turned out that they weren't normal ponies, but some type of nocturnal variant. They had bright yellow eyes with slitted pupils, much like Sharpe did. And their ears were more pointed than usual. If Orion didn't know better, he would say that they were bat ponies... Bat ponies are too fucking cool.

"Wh- what are you?" the first one asked, dumbfounded by Orion's strange appearance.

The hooded man just shrugged. "I'm God," he said simply.

The two of them just stared at him.

He sighed in disappointment. "You will tell me what happened to the things that crashed here," he said calmly, waving his hand in front of them again.

The second one spoke up. "After the big metal thing blew up, Princess Luna showed up with all of the Night Guard," she told him.

"When we saw that there were some kind of aliens, we rushed in, but some of the new recruits attacked and a big fight broke out," the second one added.

"We got away from the fight to look for an alien that got away-"

"- And then we found you."

Orion smiled at the news.

"How did you do that?" Pinkie Pie asked in disbelief.

He looked at her with a widening smile. "I told you, I'm God," he said while tapping the side of his nose with a finger.

Pinkie jabbed her hooves at them frantically. "Do it again! Do it again! Make them do something!" she yelled.

Orion turned back to the two with a devious smile. He waved his hand in front of them again. "You will let me pet your ears," he said.

They both nodded and leaned their heads towards him.

He reached out and stroked their ears. He couldn't really feel it because of his gloves, but he could tell it was velvety soft, and incredibly smooth.

"Again! Again!" cheered Pinkie.

He waved his hand in front of them yet again. "You will let me hug you," he said calmly.

They both just nodded again and reached out their hooves, waiting for his embrace.

He smiled happily and hugged them tightly, nuzzling his face into their fur. It was so warm and soft...

"Again again again again again!" Pinkie almost screamed.

He released them and waved his hand in front of them, yet again. "You will let me... kiss you," he said with a certain amount of force behind his voice.

They both hesitated for a second, but nodded again and puckered their lips slightly, waiting for him.

He smiled evilly as he leaned in towards the first bat pony. Their lips connected and Orion instantly tasted blueberries. Blueberries? Why the fuck does this bat pony taste like blueberries...? Meh, whatever.

He pushed harder against her, including his tongue in the kiss for only a second before pulling away.

He looked at the other bat pony and lunged forward, catching her violently in a kiss. This time, he tasted grapes. What?! Why the hell do these ponies taste like fruit?! This requires further investigation...

He forced his tongue into her mouth and was actually surprised when her own tongue fought briefly with his own. But after a few more seconds, he pulled away.

He looked at Pinkie with a slightly crazed expression, and she could have sword that his eyes were glowing. "Want me to do anything else...?" he asked her slowly.

Pinkie Pie was blushing furiously from the display in front of her. She was covering her face with her hooves to attempt to hide it, so she couldn't respond before he continued talking.

"I'll take your silence as a yes," he said with a laugh. He looked back to the bat ponies and waved his hand in front of them both again. "You will both have a three-way fuck with me. And you will like it more than anything else you've ever experienced." He said this with so much force behind his voice, he was almost shouting at them.

They both looked like they were internally struggling with the mental pressure he was putting on them. Their eyes twitched slightly, and they were fidgeting. "I... I... will..."

Orion pushed his hand closer to them, and it felt like the very air around them was pressing down on them. He knew that this was dangerous, and it could even be fatal for them. But it was fun to watch, and if he pulled it off, it would be even more fun.

After almost two minutes, the pair of them nodded slowly.

Orion punched the air, the sudden movement knocking over a broom and hitting him on the head. But he didn't notice; he was too busy with his new playthings.

The first bat pony reached a hoof between her thighs and started rubbing herself fiercely, making small squishing noises from her fast coming juices. While she did this, soft moans escaped her mouth, only fueling the situations fire.

The second bat pony was kissing Orion deeply, making full use of her tongue to dominate the man. She smiled into the kiss as he submitted to her, letting her take full control of the situation.

The two pulled apart as the first bat pony came up to them and traced her wet hoof along Orion's jawline, moistening his stubbled skin.

He grabbed her hoof and brought it to his mouth, licking it and sucking it. And after only a few short moments, the hoof was clean. He smiled at the taste. Yep, definitely blueberries.

She put her hoof back on her private parts to re-soak it to give her new fuckbuddy another taste.

While her friend went back to playing with herself, the second bat pony looked at the extremely large bulge in her new playmate's pants. She smiled as she used her hooves to pull apart the buckle so she could get at him. It took a while, but it was worth it.

Orion smiled at them both as they eyed his giant-

***

Mavis ripped her eyes away from the book so quickly that she got whiplash from the action. What the hell was that?! Did this book really just turn into an explicit novel?!

She looked behind her over her shoulder quickly. She knew that she was alone, but it was a reflex more than anything else.

She let out a breath when she didn't see anybody and turned back to the book. She flipped over the page she was on and began reading the next page...

***

... Orion thrust into her again, even more violently than before, causing her to scream in a mixture of horrible pain and mind-numbing pleasure from his huge member spreading her walls so far apart. "Oh, yes! By Luna's moon, yes! Harder! Faster! Deep-"

***

"Nope!" Mavis yelled out loud as she turned the page again. She shook her head to rid her of the lingering mental images she had picked up as she leaned back over her book and began reading again...

***

... With both of their dripping entrances pressed against his stiff cock, the feeling was immeasurably more amazing than it had been than with either of them alone. He gabbed both of their backsides, one in each hand, and pressed them together to increase the pressure and heat.

He growled as he started to move his hips, pumping up and down between them. He knew that this pleasurable torture would finish him off faster than he would have liked, so he attempted to increase his mates' pleasure by kissing them each in turn as he-

***

"What the fuck?!" Mavis screamed as she slammed the book shut hard enough to send up a small cloud of dust.

She instantly cringed as she realized that she had just alerted anybody nearby to her presence. If they found her in here reading a book like this... Well, it would be bad.

She waited a few minutes in silence to try to hear anything that would mean that somebody was in the other room. But, try as she might, she couldn't hear anything.

She took a few deep, calming breaths and opened the book again. It took a while to find her place, but once she did, she flipped ahead until the "explicit content" was done.

She shook her head. "Eighteen pages... How could anybody even last that long...?"

She sat there, staring at the page, but not really reading it.

She quickly looked over her shoulder to make sure she was alone. She was.

She then flipped back to the beginning of when things got... Well, "heated", quickly dog eared the page, and then flipped back to where she just was.

Even though she was a Jedi and was supposed to shun those kind of thoughts, she was also a teenage girl who had an overactive imagination.

She smiled as she thought about reading that part later on, after finishing the book.

But obscene thoughts pushed aside temporarily, she delved back into her read and read the first line of a new page...

***

... Sharpe's weapon went off with a roar of anger and death as he charged his opponent.

Fun Times & Old Memories

Sharpe's weapon went off with a roar of anger and death as he charged his opponent. His DLT- 19 heavy blaster rifle shot bolts of deadly energy towards the little bat-pony crossbreeds, obliterating their armor and knocking them off of their hooves or out of the air, depending on the variant. Luckily for them, he was shooting to maim. His blaster rifle could punch through Durasteel plating, and the armor these ponies were wearing was thin and weak. It almost felt like cheating, using his rifle...

Sharpe's twisted smile widened as he slung his rifle onto his back and pulled out his vibrodagger. It was a large, serrated thing that reached about a foot in length. And it was going to make this a lot more fun for the demented Trandoshun.

Sharpe could see all of the remaining ponies smile in relief when he did this, and smiled wider.

The first pony charged him with a short spear, aiming right for his chest. It didn't go well for the pony.

Sharpe grabbed the spear and yanked it out of the small thing's grip. Although, how it gripped it in the first place with hooves was a mystery to him. But anyways. He spun it around with one hand and viciously slammed the handle into the pony's head, knocking him out and throwing him back almost ten feet.

Two more flew at him, spears at the ready. Well, ready for anything but him.

Sharpe slashed his vibrodagger and literally cut the spear of one of them in half down the middle. Its hoof got in the way, so that was cut in half as well, but only up to the first joint.

The second pony saw this and its eyes widened. It redirected its flight path at the last second, avoiding Sharpe's cut. But it was too close, and Sharpe had very long arms.

Sharpe reached up and grabbed the pony's tail, pulling it down to him. He stared it in the eyes for a second.

"No, please don't kill me!" the pony screamed at him. It was a female judging by its voice. It put on the most adorable face Sharpe had ever seen, making its eyes watery, pouting out its lower lip and drawing up its front hooves to rest under her chin.

Sharpe laughed his cruel, sadistic laugh, causing the pony to pale. He opened his mouth wide and clamped his jaws down hard on her head, making her to scream in agony and terror. He shook his head back and forth, effectively mauling her. He released her after the screaming had gotten weaker, dropping her semi-alive body on the ground at his feet.

The blood flowing out of her head quickly soaked the area as she could only twitch.

He slowly walked through the pool of blood, making wet, slapping footsteps on the marble floor as he approached a group of terrified ponies. Well, all but one of them.

A male pony, knowing from his voice, flew at Sharpe almost to fast for the naked eye to perceive.

But Sharpe had enough cybernetic implants to make a droid look like an organic, and saw everything happening in enough HD detail it would make a camera jealous. It was almost like slow motion, really. As the pony approached him, he simply stuck out his fist and let momentum take care of the rest. The pony was going too fast to notice or stop, and slammed right in to Sharpe's fist, knocking him out instantly. Sharpe almost laughed as he flew lazily to the side and connected with a wall.

During his unconscious flying, over a dozen more bat ponies surrounded Sharpe. Half of them were the flying types, and the other half were either the plain ones or the Force users with horns. All of them carried either a short spear or a small sword, and they were deadly sharp.

Sharpe was about to make a witty comment about their mothers, but a larger target came into view. It was another one like the white one, but smaller. This one was a deep blue with a starry mane and tail, much like the night sky with teal colored eyes. It also wore a crown and bejeweled necklace, so Sharpe decided that this one was Luna, the sister of the night.

She spoke, her voice loud enough to shake the ground. "THOU SHALT CEASE THINE MALEVOLENCE AGAINST OUR ROYAL GUARD, CREATURE!!!!!!!" Really, she would have even impressed Orion with volume like that.

Sharpe let out an annoyed hiss. "They attacked first, if you remember, highness," he said angrily.

The princess hesitated for a brief moment before responding in an unsure voice. "Thou... are a threat... They were only acting how royal guards should!" she had force in her voice, but he could tell she was, in part, trying to reassure herself that she was in the right.

Sharpe sheathed his vibrodagger and held out his hands, showing that he unarmed. Well, besides his talons that could slice through Durasteel. "I have no reason to fight you or yours, princess. I didn't kill anybody, only maimed them. If I wanted you dead, I wouldn't be needing to waste my breath right now."

Luna opened her mouth, but closed it when no words came out. She seemed to be at a loss for words. But another voice was fine to speak.

"Sister, he isn't a threat," the voice of the white one said. Celestia, if Sharpe remembered correctly.

They both faced her, Sharpe with a grin and Luna with wide eyes.

Celestia had a cut on her face and her mane and tail were crumpled, but she still looked regal. She strode towards them, eyeing Sharpe the whole time. "He only just arrived here, and your guards attacked him right after he crashed. Do you really expect him to not defend himself?" she asked her sister.

Luna stared at her sister for a moment before facing Sharpe again. "She is right. I am sorry, creature, for my guards' recklessness," she said apologetically.

Sharpe smiled at her, showing far, far too many teeth and making a small hiss as he did so. "I'm sure you can make it up to me somehow, my princess," he said in a voice that suggested things that Luna didn't want to think about.

A cough came from behind them.

They all turned to find that a metal giant and a smaller, thinner version were standing there watching them.

The large one was nearly as big as Sharpe, and the smaller one was about half a foot smaller than that one. The big one had hulking, light tan armor with red highlights along the sides of his torso, legs, arms, and head. A black visor marked where the eyes were, and it was so laden down with weapons it was a surprise that it could stand, let alone carry a small child on his shoulders.

The smaller one was wearing armor that contoured to his build. It was clearly a male from the muscle structure. The armor was a light gray color with small lights marking latches on his armor and a helmet with the entire front being a visor with two latches connecting the plate with the metal. On his side was a small device next to a short sword. And in his hands was a long barreled weapon with a huge scope on the top of it.

Sharpe spoke to them. "Roland, Seth, are you two okay?" he asked.

Roland nodded as he and Seth approached him and the two princesses. "Yeah, Jake is right behind us with some medical supplies. But the kid got hurt," he said as he patted the moaning form on his shoulder.

"Oh no!" a voice quietly shouted.

They all saw a butter yellow pegasus with a long pink mane zoom over and hover above Roland, eyeing the injured boy.

"What happened to the poor thing?" she asked worriedly.

The two of them stared at the hovering pony for a second before recovering their senses. They'd seen stranger things.

"A damaged ceiling panel came loose and fell on him. He has a cracked rib or two, plus a broken leg and a sprained wrist," he said in a sure voice, though a little tinny from the helmet. "And he might have a concussion, but I can't really tell without my equipment," he added in a slightly less sure tone.

The pegasus laid a gentle hoof on the boy, frowning slightly. "I can take him to the infirmary where he can get taken care of. May I?"

Roland looked at her for a second before nodded and hefting the boy up to her.

She struggled a little with the weight, but managed.

"Well, I'm sure that we can discuss what happened later, but we should really try to find your companion that ran off into the castle," Celestia said.

They all looked at her, and she could have sworn that they all paled under their armor, even the dragon creature's scales seemed to go slightly gray.

"Who an off?" Roland asked with dread. "Was he yay high, black robes and metal armor, insane?" he asked hurriedly.

Celestia took on a worried air. "Well, yes. Is he dangerous?"

Sharpe looked at her with a serious expression. "This man once leveled and entire neighborhood and killed thousands of people with the wave of his hand," he said with a voice to match his face.

Celestia and Luna's pupils shrunk to pinpricks.

Sharpe turned to Roland. "We need to find him," he said.

Roland nodded grimly. "Hopefully he hasn't killed anybody or destroyed half of the city yet."

Seth spoke up. "Maybe he just went to get a drink?" he suggested.

The both looked at him, Roland scowling under his helmet and Sharpe deadpanning.

Seth flinched. "Right, that would make it worse... Sorry..."

"We need to find him," Celestia said.

"Yes, and when we do, we will make sure he does not harm anypony," Luna added.

The two sisters nodded at each other.

"Can you find him?" Celestia asked the beings in front of her.

Sharpe laughed once more, deeply disturbing Celestia and Luna. "The man wears the scent of whores, alcohol, and death like any normal man would wear cheap cologne."

***

They all walked down the halls at a fast pace, Sharpe leading them. The four remaining ponies that were once six asked to help, so they were with them, along with the two princesses, the entirety of the ship's crew, and about twenty guards of both Celestia and Luna.

"You know this is degrading, right?" Sharpe growled. He was leading the group with his nose, sniffing out the idiot that was Orion. It was a simple task, thanks to his implants and natural abilities. But even though it was easy, he still didn't like being thought of like a simple Kath Hound looking for its lunch.

"Yes, but we greatly appreciate it," Luna said. She and her sister were standing on either side of the Trandoshun and slightly behind him.

He growled under his breath and took another sniff, leading them down a hallway with a surprising amount of unconscious guards in it laying in a heap on the rug.

"What was that?" Luna quipped.

He turned to her and breathed hard into her face. "I said I expect to be paid for this," he said in a slightly threatening voice.

Luna backed up from him with a nervous look in her eyes.

He advanced on her, backing her into a corner. "I don't work for free, highness. And I sure as fuck don't take orders from pompous little cunts in seats of power that they only have 'cause their mommy and daddy died. So before you get an attitude with me, you remember that above all else, I'm a killer. And while work needs payment, I can have fun for free." There was a noise from his side and he drew both of his heavy blaster pistol and pointed the S-5 at the noise and the DL-44 at Luna.

Celestia stopped mid-spell and stared at the barrel of the device with wide eyes.

Sharpe turned to her with anger in his eyes. "If you don't cut that out, I'll kill you both."

"Sharpe! Knock it off!" Roland yelled. "If you kill them we'll have to deal with this whole country!"

Sharpe grunted and turned back to Luna as he holstered his weapons. He leaned in close, taking a deep breath of her and flicking his tongue around her. After a few seconds he pulled back. "I'll never forget your scent, highness. Remember that." With that he turned back down the hallway and lead them, the terrified ponies, and his crewmates in the search for the wayward Dark Jedi.
***

After taking a few more turns, Sharpe stopped suddenly.

"What's the matter?" Celestia asked him.

He groaned loudly and rubbed his face with his hand. "I don't believe this..." he groaned.

Everybody in the party looked at one another in confusion.

Sharpe walked down the hallway and stopped in front of an old broom closet. He reached out a hand and pulled the door open.

The smell immediately washed over them. Sweat, deprivation, guilt, shame, salt, and everything else that sex was made of. But there was a hint of something... fruity as well.

They all covered their faces with their respective limbs and peered into the closet.

Orion was snoring with a pair of the bat pony guards cuddled up to him asleep. They were sweaty, and roughed up. Orion's head was completely soaked in some kind of shiny, clear substance, and the guards' faces had parts covered in a white, gooey substance. Mostly around the mouth. The ground was soaked with a mixture of things best not thought about, and more of the mixture was covering certain private spots that were showing very clearly to all of them.

All of the ponies- save for the princesses- and some of the crew members looked away with a blush on their faces. Luna and Celestia eyed the naked creature with interest.

Sharpe chuckled dryly. "It looks like the little Human had some fun while we weren't looking," he said in an only slightly amused voice.

Luna and Celestia eyed him.

"Little?" Luna asked incredulously.

Sharpe flashed a smile that could have shown her reflection if it weren't for her guard's blood staining his teeth. "Compared to Trandoshuns, all Humans are little," he said with a certain tone in his voice.

Luna looked him up and down, new interest filling her thoughts about this creature.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's just get the idiot up so he can get dressed," Roland said irritably.

Roland walked into the closet and reached his hand out to shake Orion awake, but a pink blob shaking in the corner caught his eye. He turned to see that it was a pink pony with a slightly darker pink mane and tail, huddled up in the corner shaking violently in horror.

"Everything... I... saw... everything..."

***

Orion sat in a large room with his friends and the cool little ponies. He had a bowl of mixed fruit in front of him which he was eating with gusto. It was good. Very... fruity. He just wished there were blueberries and grapes in there...

"... And so with out ship scrapped, we have no way of leaving," Roland said.

"Well, as I am sorry to hear that Roland, you cannot stay here," Celestia said in a firm voice. "You are a danger to my people, and I cannot risk their lives because of your mistake."

Roland sighed. "It was actually stupid's goof, not mine."

Orion looked up and smiled his goofy smile when he heard somebody mention him. "What happened?"

Sharpe hissed at him. "You broke the ship. Again!"

Orion wore a confused face and patted himself down. "But... I'm right here... How could I hurt the ship?"

Roland sighed. "You crashed the ship. It then exploded, leaving us stranded here," he said, annoyed.

"It's not my fault the ship doesn't understand Basic..." he pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Twilight eyed him for a second before turning to Roland. "You let him fly?" she asked.

Roland sighed. "After he jumped us three thousand years into the future, no. He snuck up to the bridge."

"What?!" Twilight gasped, spraying Larry and Jake with applesauce.

Jake groaned as he slowly lowered his head towards the table. As his head got lower, his groan got quieter, until his head connected and he appeared to be dead.

Larry sighed and did the same thing, only he banged his head against the table softly.

"You're from the past?!" Twilight asked, leaning way over the table.

Sharpe nodded once. "Yes, we are. We were escaping certain death, only to be flung three thousand years forward. We were in this time for all but two minutes before another all-powerful maniac tried to kill us."

Roland laughed. "Yeah. That makes... four? Not including the Hutts, or the Jedi or Sith?"

Sharpe took on a look that mixed serious with scared. "You're forgetting about Kane," he said.

Everybody in the crew tensed when his name was said. Even Orion dropped his goofy smile and took on a somber look.

"Who's Kane?" the rainbow pony, Rainbow Dash asked.

Orion spoke. "He's both the greatest evil the Galaxy has ever known, and the best hope that the Galaxy has at survival."

Luna eyed the Human. "What do you mean?" she asked. She hadn't met the Human male before this, but even she was surprised at how serious he had become

He sighed and shook his head. "He wants to save everything in the Galaxy. But in doing so, he's destroying everything around him. He once had us watch while he saved an endangered species of animal."

"Well, he can't be that bad," Fluttershy said.

Orion looked at her with all emotion drained form his face. "He stopped them by turning an entire planet to glass to make sure that the deforestation agency couldn't continue their work. He killed over three billion innocent people just to stop two dozen suits from killing off a species of frog."

"How could he do that?" Celestia asked, shocked.

Orion shook his head at her. "He's a Gen'Dai. They live for thousands of years, but their minds dissolve after about a thousand or so. When we were back in our time, he was about twenty-one hundred years old. So now he'd be about five thousand, give or take a century or two. He thinks he's saving the Galaxy, but he's actually destroying it."

Celestia noticed the tone of voice he was speaking in. "Did... you lose somepony because of him?" she asked carefully.

All of the crew flinched when she asked this.

Orion nodded his head very slowly. All of the people present saw the tears come to his eyes and fall down his face. "Yeah. Yeah, I lost them all. I lost them all because I was weak." He spoke in a distant voice, like he wasn't really there. He stood up suddenly, knocking over his bowl of fruit. "Sorry, I need to go," he said and quickly left the room.

Roland sighed. "Forgive him. He never used to be like this. After losing Judo and Xala... Well, he sort of gave up."

The white unicorn, Rarity looked at him. "Those... Those sound like mares' names..."

Roland nodded. "Yeah, they were cute kids too. I found 'em while I was out patrolling one day trying to steal food. I couldn't bring myself to turn them in, so I worked them instead, to pay off their debt. you know, cooking, cleaning, that kind of stuff. But once Orion saw them... Well, I don't really believe in love at first sight, but that's what it was for him."

All of the ponies, including the princesses, cringed.

"When Kane tortured them to death right in front of us... It broke him. He became cold and cruel, he started drinking, he started using drugs and getting involved in petty crime. It caught up to him though. After a while, he had a huge bounty on him, and the Mandalorians found him."

Mandalorians?" questioned Luna.

Sharpe spoke up. "They are the single most deadly fighting force in the Galaxy, Kane excluded. A single Mando can, and will, take down a small army all by themselves just for fun."

They all thought of this kind of being for a while, but Roland spoke up again.

"Yep, Mandos. That was the first time Orion died," he said.

All of the ponies stared at him. "What?" they all asked in unison.

Roland nodded grimly. "Yeah. He tried to fight them, and lost. Took a lot of them out though. But the few that were left set him on fire and burned him to death." He shuddered. "I can still hear the screams in my sleep sometimes..."

"The first time?" Celestia questioned.

Roland continued. "Yeah. We finished off the bastards and managed to save enough of his DNA to clone him. But, if you clone thin DNA... you get... mixed results..."

"Like what?" Twilight asked.

"He wasn't sane. At least, not as sane as he was. He would hurt people just for fun. He would commit crimes just so the authorities would come after him so he would have an excuse to kill them. He thought that being shot was hilarious and would always start laughing in a fight."

Sharpe interrupted. "Until he died a second time," he said.

They all shook their heads in disbelief.

"He thought it would be good idea to get into a fist fight with a Wookie. A great, hairy thing that stands over eight feet tall and is probably the most dangerous hand-to-hand combatant in the Galaxy, Mandalorians included."

"What happened to 'im?" the farmer pony, Applejack asked.

Roland sighed again. "He lost. Badly. The Wookie literally ripped his arms off and beat him to death with them. I was able to resuscitate him, but it was too late. I still wish I had left him alone. He suffered another ten minutes because I didn't have it in me to put him down, choking on his own blood, begging me to shoot him. I- I just... couldn't. I couldn't kill my friend."

"After that," Sharpe said, "we cloned him again, but... He wasn't really him. He had Orion's face and voice and memories, but it wasn't him. Not really. The first night we had him back, he walked up and down the halls all night, singing about some kind of perfect world, over and over again. It was... It was the first time I actually felt afraid of him. He wouldn't stop smiling and he kept saying strange things like 'When will the Sun explode into everything' or 'My skin is too hot, I want to cut it off'."

They all listened to him with such intensity, that they didn't hear the door open.

"Once, he was being chased by Mandos, and he leveled an entire neighborhood to stop them. The death toll was over two thousand bodies. Kids, elderly, women, all kinds of people were killed. When he heard about it, he just smiled this stupid, goofy smile and started laughing. He wouldn't stop laughing for days, and we eventually tied him up in his room with Force suppressors."

"It didn't work," Lily said from the other end of the table.

They looked at her while she wrapped her arms around herself and hunched down lower into her seat.

Roland cough, drawing away their attention. "He... He hurt her. Not badly, but she got a scare."

"Hey, do we have any peanut butter?"

All of the ponies jumped in their seats and screamed, as well as a few select crew members. Everybody at the table turned to see Orion standing there with his goofy grin, holding a large butcher knife that was stained with blood in one hand and part of a bloody hoof in the other. He was wearing a bloody chefs hat and apron.

The Fighter Is A Lover

Orion sped through the white marble halls, kicking up the rug and knocking over paintings and busts with how fast he was going. It was literally impossible to be going this fast, even for most pegasi. But Orion's sole purpose in the Galaxy was to fuck your mind and destroy everything, including the laws of physics. "Twinkle, tinkle little bat! How I wonder where you're at!" he screamed.

***

Somewhere in the castle, two particular bat pony mares felt a spike of cold run down their spines. They looked at each other with confused expressions.

"What was that?" the first one asked.

The second one only shook her head. "I have no idea, but if just hope that it didn't have anything to do with him," she said with no small amount of venom.

They had enjoyed it, yes. More than anything else in their life. But after the effects wore off, they realized that they had, quite literally, been mind raped. Then they were really raped.

The first one shuddered, half with fear and half with excitement. "If I ever get my hooves on that maniac, I'll... Well, he won't like it," she threatened.

The second one smirked at her. "Are you sure about that?" she asked playfully.

They stared at each other seriously for a second. They then nodded, knowing that if they ever caught him, he would get a taste of his own medicine.

***

Orion chuckled darkly, like he somehow knew that he would have the time of his life if he ever saw a certain pair of bat ponies again...

He turned another corner and saw his goal: the kitchen! He went through the doors and vaulted over a table, coming, once again, stomach-to-muzzle with Silver Platter.

She looked at him in shock from his sudden entrance. But her shock quickly turned into rage.

"I have peanuts in my mind!" he roared. He leaned down and jammed the piece of hoof onto the stump, making sure that it was aligned properly. He waved his hand over the separation.

"What are you doing?!" Silver growled at him.

He ignored her and closed his eyes in concentration. The Force was unbelievably strong with him, but even he had some trouble with mending complete separations.

Silver tried to push him away, but found that it was like trying to shove away a concrete wall.

There was a light from his hand suddenly, drawing the attention of Silver. Orion actually stuck his fingers into the wound, bloodying his finger tips. Then, the light was gone, and Broth was whole again.

Silver could only stare as her brother was healed. Not just fixed, but completely healed. "How did you do that?" she asked him in wonder.

He put his hand on her head, patting her.

She looked into his eyes. They were glowing.

He smiled, not goofy, but an actual smile. "I told you. I'm God." He leaned forward and claimed her lips.

She was... shocked. Her eyes wide. She wasn't sure what to do. Push him away? Kick him? Let him do it?

Orion moved his magical hands someplace very sensitive on her body, making her gasp in pleasure into the kiss.

Yeah, that last option sounded best. She kissed him back, just as deeply as he was kissing her. Only she forced her tongue into his mouth.

They battled for dominance for a while, but, as always, Orion let her win.

She smiled as he submitted to her, pushing forward slightly into the kiss and forcing his fingers deeper into her. She was surprised when he hefted her up, using only his arms to hold her for a brief moment before placing her on the counter.

Orion broke the kiss and stared into her eyes hard.

She almost flinched from his gaze, but knew that he wouldn't hurt her. She wasn't sure how she knew, but some instinct in the back of her mind told her that she was safe with him.

Orion took the armor plate off of his crotch, releasing the beast.

Silver stared at it, her eyes going down its length. And down. And even further down. She gulped with apprehension.

Orion pulled off his top and lifted her up with one arm, placing the clothing under her bottom and setting her back down. He placed his hands on her hips, securing a firm grip.

She looked up at his eyes. They were glowing even brighter than before. She nodded once and leaned into him, placing her lips on his. But unlike how she thought her first time would be, gentle and loving, he forcefully rammed himself into her until she couldn't take any more in.

Orion felt the barrier break as he entered and quickly used one hand to keep her mouth on his.

She screamed. Loudly. Luckily his mouth contained most of the sound. She was crying, but only from the pain. After a few more seconds he started moving inside of her. Slowly at first, only pushing and pulling a few inches. But after seeing that she wouldn't scream again, he put his hand back on her hip and increased his speed.

Neither of them saw Broth open his eyes directly below them, affording him a wonderfully horrific view of Orion fucking his little sister right above him, only a foot or so from his face. He almost cried when the first drops of blood hit him in the face.

***

Mavis couldn't decide whether she wanted to burst out laughing or vomit on herself. So instead she just kept reading...

***

... Orion's pace got faster and faster over time, getting him more and more moans from his partner. He couldn't fit himself all the way in, which annoyed him. He wanted to fill her up, but he couldn't. This was a very angering predicament.

She had to break the kiss, leaving a glistening trail of saliva linking their mouths together. He was going too fast. She couldn't handle it. She couldn't breathe. Oh no! She can't breathe!

Orion actually growled as he went faster. Whether in pleasure or in anger, she didn't know.

She tried to push him away. Tried to save her own life. There was a pressure building and she felt like it was going to kill her. There was pain. Oh, sweet Celestia, so much pain. But there was even more pleasure. Enough so that even if she died, she would die happy. She tried to push him away, but her hooves slipped around him instead, wrapping around his neck in a crushing grip as she bit into his shoulder to stop herself from screaming.

He lowered her slightly, so he had a better angle, leaving her dangling from his neck as he loomed over her.

She couldn't take it any more. The pressure and the heat were too much. She screamed. She screamed and she screamed and she screamed so loud that it almost made Orion consider stopping.

He didn't. He only pounded into her harder.

She felt a feeling in her like she had never before experienced: sweet, blissful, mind-numbing release. She came. Hard. Her entrance was so full though that it contained most of her juices inside of her as her walls squeezed Orion's member with a crushing force, her cunt trying to milk him of everything he had.

He groaned in bliss and pain from this as he slowed slightly, savoring the feeling of her walls massaging his member.

She closed her eyes tightly, not sure if she opened them if she would be able to see straight anyway. Why waste energy on seeing when it should be spent on feeling? She rode her orgasm out, every second feeling like a lifetime as the euphoria ravaged her mind and body. She wasn't even done with the first one as she could feel a familiar pressure building up again from Orion's continued assault on her.

Faster and harder he went, wanting, needing that feeling again. And all too soon for her, it came again.

Her second orgasm in less than ten minutes was even better than her first. She could feel herself drifting off into unconsciousness, but fought with everything she had to stay awake for this.

Orion pulled out of her as he felt her cumming again. He smiled broadly as his face and chest was sprayed with her essence, coating him in a sickly sweet layer of liquid.

She saw this and blushed even more than she already was. She didn't even know it was possible to cum that much, or that hard.

Orion's face was drenched. He opened his mouth to catch the tail end of the rush of feminine liquids. It tasted like the best thing ever. He couldn't exactly name it, but it tasted like deliciousness. He lowered himself to slit-level and forced his face into her.

She gasped in amazement at this. She had heard of mares doing this to each other, but never a stallion doing this to his mare. She smiled and bit her bottom lip as his tongue dug into her, stealing away every last trace of the wonderful substance that he craved. She wasn't sure just how much he had done this in the past, but his tongue was very skilled. She didn't even feel the third orgasm coming from how fast it happened.

Orion's mouth was flooded with her love juices. He smiled as he swallowed them down. Every. Last. Drop.

She leaned back on the counter, moaning loudly from the attention she was getting.

Orion used his hands to help her further the experience. One hand played roughly with her swollen clit as the other used two fingers to dig three knuckles deep into her "back door entrance".

She gasped as her eyes shot opened. She had never felt this before. She wasn't sure if it was pleasurable or just weird, but she loved it. She reached her hooves over his head and pushed his face further into her.

Orion smiled into her as his tongue went deeper. She really was delicious. he lashed his tongue in and out of her, caressing her velvety walls with it. Finally, he felt her walls start twitching again.

She moaned as he slowly drug his tongue out of her. She looked up with bleary eyes, seeing him staring back at her. His huge erection was throbbing with every pulse of his heart beat. A coating of her own juices and his precum layering it thickly. She moaned again as she saw it.

He grabbed her sides roughly, forcing himself into her hard.

She screamed again, in pain and pleasure.

He wanted to get off. He wanted that feeling. but damn it, he couldn't get all the way in! He growled as he pushed too hard.

She screamed again as a jolt of pain shot through her. He had forced himself into her womb. The pain slowly ebbed away as he was forced to only move a few inches at a time from being trapped inside of her. This tortured her beyond anything else she had felt. She wanted him to stop from the pain, but needed him to keep going from the pleasure. He was moving so slow that her orgasm was being delayed, the mounting pressure inside of her driving her insane.

He was furious. He finally could almost bottom out, but now he was stuck! He tried to force it, but it only made things worse.

She was laid flat on her back as Orion propped himself up with his arms for balance. She could hardly breathe from him being so far into her, so screaming out wasn't an option any more. So she settled for pushing against his chest with her forehooves as hard as she could. Her back legs couldn't do anything but twitch and kick involuntarily, so anything with those was out of the question. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as her body was pushed past the point of no return. She was teetering on the edge, not quite there, but not able to go back. It was nothing short of torture for her.

Orion was close. So close he felt it coming. He knew that he could only last a few more seconds, then he would be out of commission. Normally, he could have lasted for hours, but there was something about this mare that made all of his energy leave him in one, enormous burst. Speaking of...

Silver's silence became a high, continuous whine as she reached her fourth orgasm. Her body couldn't take it. Her mind couldn't take it. Her soul couldn't take it. She found her voice and screamed. Plates, cups, bowls, and anything shatterable in the kitchen shattered and the air almost seemed to vibrate. Her vaginal walls spasmed out of control, crushing and uncrushing then recrushing Orion over and over again.

It was too much for him. Her walls assaulting him, the heat and pressure, the feeling of her cunt milking him for his essence. It was too much. He came inside of her, filling her womb up to the bursting point and some of it leaking out from the volume of it all. It actually created a large bulge in her stomach from all of it inside of her.

Her juices.

His juices.

Their juices.

It filled her up and overflowed out of her, creating what could be described only as "a waterfall of love" flowing out of her and onto anything below them.

Orion leaned forward, letting his head hang next to hers as they both breathed heavily. "Well... That was new..." he said breathlessly.

She nodded. "Was... Was it good for you too...?" she asked with some trouble.

Orion nodded jerkily. "Yeah... Yeah, it was... One of the best ever, actually," he said.

She smiled happily. She wasn't sure why, but she felt that that was the best compliment she had ever gotten.

Orion lifted himself up and kissed her on the lips. The thought of her tasting herself as their tongues danced with the other turned him on more than anybody could believe.

They held that position, longer than either of them knew, sharing each others' taste.

At that moment, a fire was lit in what was left of Orion's soul. He realized that he liked this planet. A lot. And if anything ever threatened this place, he would stop it. As violently and painfully as possible.

***

Mavis was sweating and panting in her chair as she finished the page. She hadn't even noticed, but her hand was tracing the inside of her thighs. "Whoa, that was hot," she said to herself.

She turned the page with her free hand and kept reading...

***

... Sharpe, Roland, Celestia, the Elements of Harmony, and the crew were all walking down the destroyed halls of the castle. It wasn't hard to follow Orion's path.

Sharpe was growling, hissing, and making... other noises under his breath. It wasn't hard to see that he was very clearly angry.

Celestia had let Luna deal with her guards, so she was the only one who could keep Sharpe from tearing anypony- or body- limb from limb. At the moment, she was considering entering the... Trandoshun? Yes, that was what he called himself. Entering the Trandushun's mind to forcefully calm him down. It could work... Maybe. But she somehow doubted that he wouldn't notice his mind being invaded.

"So..." Roland said from her side.

She looked at him with a curious look. "Yes?" she asked.

Roland was wearing his helmet again, so his facial expression was hidden to everybody but himself. "So, if Orion did kill anybody... Will he be executed?" he asked, worry in his tinny voice.

Celestia stared intently into his black-tinted visor. She thought that he was worried about his friend, but upon further thought, she started to think that he might be worried about her and her people. Eventually, though, she shook her head. "No, but he will be banished from these lands. I cannot risk a battle with somepony as strong as Orion. If he is even half as strong as you say he is, then he could cause a lot damage to Canterlot before my sister and I stop him." She could almost feel the incredulous stare coming from Roland.

"Yeah," he said, looking back forward. "Of course. That's what would happen."

She glared at him for a while before dropping it. She knew that even with her sister's help, they might not be able to stop someone like Orion.

Sharpe turned another corner, leading them further into the castle. He was close. He knew it from the smell of that piece of filth invading his senses. At the end of the hall, he could see a pair of swinging doors. He could only imagine that it was a kitchen or cookery of some sort. As he neared the doors, an all too familiar smell reached him. He growled loudly in anger as he pushed open the doors.

It was a very neat and tidy kitchen. The tables were aligned with the walls, the pots, pans, and other cooking utensils were orderly and clean, the lights shined brightly, the counters were all ready to be used for cooking, and nothing was out of place. The only strange thing was that there weren't any cooks in there at all. Well, except one who was shivering and crying in a corner, covered heavily from head to hoof in... things best not thought about.

Orion was leaning against a counter lazily as he sipped on a large mug of hot cocoa with tiny marshmallows in it. He had a very content smile on his face as he sipped his hot beverage.

A very cute mare was snuggled up against him, also sipping a warm cup of hot cocoa, also with tiny marshmallows in it. She had a peaceful, happy smile plastered on her face as she nestled against Orion, savoring his warmth. It was quite chilly in the kitchen.

The others entered behind Sharpe and saw everything he saw. They were, to say the least, quite amazed at the scene before them.

Roland took off his helmet and gave a low whistle. "He knows how to cover it up, I'll give him that," he said appreciatively.

All of the ponies looked at him with a curious expression.

"How do ya figure?" Applejack asked.

Roland swept his hand across the room. "All you see is the orderly chaos of a normal kitchen, minus the cooks. No blood, nothing out of place, just... him and her," he told her.

Orion looked over to them and his normal, stupid smile returned. "Sup guys? Want some cocoa?" he asked cheerily.

Sharpe stomped over to him. He saw the pot of liquid on the stove. It wasn't boiling, but it was still quite hot. He picked it up and dumped everything in it on Orion's head.

Everybody in the room gasped in horror.

Orion nodded his head slowly and licked his lips. "Y'know, this is actually excruciatingly painful. But at the same time, it's extremely tasty," he said in an all too calm voice. A tiny marshmallow slid down his face and stopped on the tip of his nose. He took another sip of his drink, sighing appreciatively at the taste. "That's good cocoa," he said. He then threw the remainder of his drink into Sharpe's face.

Sharpe screamed in pain. He had his eyes open and the burning liquid was blinding him.

Orion smiled wider and looked down at his companion. "You'd better go make sure we have a stock of peanut butter at the ready in case of another emergency," he told her.

She looked at him with wide eyes while nodding her head slowly. She trotted quickly out of the room before things got bad.

Orion picked up her drink and started sipping it, still leaning against the counter lazily.

"You fucking ass! My eyes are burning!" Sharpe screamed at him.

Orion nodded his head sagely. "That's one of the side affects of being a dick," he said knowingly.

Sharpe glared at him in rage once he got most of the burning drink off of his face and out of his eyes.

Orion threw the remainder of his drink into his face again.

Sharpe screamed and lashed out at Orion blindly.

Orion ducked under the swing and walked calmly towards the group by the door. When he was in front of them he jerked a thumb back at Sharpe. "I think he might need some peanut butter," he said. He then walked past them and out into the hallway.

The rest of them just stared at Sharpe as he swore loudly and yelled.

They then noticed that there was a quivering form huddled in the corner of the kitchen and a few of them made their was of to it.

Broth, the head chef of the castle. He opened his mouth at their approach and spoke in a quavering voice. "Everything... I... saw... everything..." he said, horrified.

Pinkie Pie went over to him and wrapped him in a hug. "I feel your pain, my friend. I feel your pain," she said as she rubbed his back.

He broke down crying in her hooves.

Celestia looked at Roland with a tired expression. "Does this usually happen with you people?" she asked him.

Roland sighed and shook his head. "No. This is the first time there hasn't been any huge explosions, mutated monsters, deadly mercenaries, life-or-death battles, or large-scale destruction of any kind. It's actually kind of scary," he admitted.

***

Mavis shook her head. "This guy needs to fix his priorities," she said. She turned the page and continued reading...

***

... Orion was walking down the darkening halls of the castle, not really watching where he was going.

So, interesting day?

Oh, hey man. How's Wilfred?

Doing better now that his kid is back in school. How're you holding up?

Eh...

Really...?

Meh...

That so...?

sigh...

... You know, you did just say the word sigh, not actually sigh, right?

Can you sigh in your mind?

Yes. You've done it before.

Oh, cool.

But anyways...

Yeah, I had an okay day. I got laid a couple of times, got into a few fights, pissed off Sharpe, cut somebody's leg up, and even drank some cocoa.

So, slow day then?

Yeah, kinda. But... there was that mare.

Who?

The second one who I fucked. I don't know how, but she drained me in one go. The first two had me going five times. But her? One go, and I was out of it.

Was it good?

...

Well?

It was the best I've had since Liara.

... Wow... That's- that's crazy. Are you...?

No. She's going to stay here, and I'm going to leave. It's best I forget about her.

You could take her with us...

No. She wouldn't make it a week in our life. She's better off here.

I guess. But you should see her again sometime.

Do you think I would let her get away?

Are you going to keep her bound to you?

No. Three wives is enough; I don't need a fourth.

True, but it couldn't hurt to keep her essence with us.

Maybe... But for now, I just want to get some air.

Fair enough.

...

...

So, how was your drink?

It was fine. Yours?

Heh, you saw that?

Dude, everybody saw that.

Everybody? Even him?

Yeah, even him.

Wow. Well, whatever. Hey look, churros!

Ooh, I like churros!

Orion jogged over to a small stand in the roads of Canterlot city, completely oblivious to the looks he was getting from the populace. He looked into the window where the churros were being kept warm and licked his lips. "Mmm, I like churros. Two please!" he said to the stand's operator.

The stallion working the stand stared open-mouthed at the creature in front him. "uh... Th- that'll be t- ten bits, sir..." he mumbled.

Orion scoffed and waved his hand in front of his face. "You want to give me all of your churros for free," he said calmly.

The stallion's eye twitched. He then pulled out the racks of churros and wrapped them all in butter cloth for the person who he wanted to give his churros to for free.

Orion beamed at him. "Thank you!" he said loudly as he bit into a churro and levitated the rest of them around his head. Some of them danced while the others did battle with one another. One of them even formed different shapes in the air.

"That was an impressive display of magic," a voice said from his side.

Orion turned with a churro hanging out of his mouth to see a creature that was part bird and part lion walking next to him. It was a female from its voice and had dark blue feathers around its eyes. It was prim and proper with fancy clothes covering it and a small feathered hat atop her head. she was somehow smiling at him with her beak.

Orion grinned at her and hovered a churro down to her. "Churro?"

She eyed it for a second before declining.

He shrugged. "More for me," he said simply.

She cleared her throat to get his attention, but he only kept walking forward. She narrowed her eyes at him and spoke in a proper voice. "My name is Gertrude, of the Griffon Kingdom," she said.

Orion looked at her for a brief moment before looking back ahead of him. "Cool."

She bristled at his standoffish attitude and her feathers puffed out slightly. "I saw what you did back there and was impressed greatly. I was wondering if I could interest you in a business proposal?" she told him.

He looked at her with a cocked eyebrow. "Are you a hooker?" he asked.

She gasped as her eyes shot open.

Orion continued. "I mean, I'm not saying no. But I've already gotten laid twice today so you'll be doing most of the work."

"Excuse me?!" she screamed at him. "I am not some kind of night walker willing to sell my beautiful body to you for bits!"

He smiled at her with his goofy smile. "Oh, okay. So, will you sell me your body for a drink?" he asked honestly.

She was about to respond when another voice came into the conversation.

"Hahaha, no boy. She's no prostitute," the masculine voice said calmly.

Orion swiveled his head to see a male griffon land on the ground next to him, opposite the female. He lowered a churro at him. "Churro?" he asked, taking another bite of his sixth treat.

The griffon eyed him before laughing and accepting the pastry. "Thank you boy. But anyways, we're offering you a job," he said as he bit down on the churro.

Orion nodded his head as he started on his seventh. "Sorry, I don't do men," he said.

The griffon coughed loudly, inhaling the churro.

"I mean, maybe if your wife is between us. But I want the front."

The griffon fell on his side, gagging on the bit of pastry.

The female griffon darted to his side.

Orion kept walking, oblivious to what was going on. "Well, I guess I could take the back, but she would get hurt. And there won't be any kissing; I don't want my tongue ripped out from your beak."

The struggling of the griffon lessened with each second as the female didn't know what to do.

He turned a street corner, heading towards the distant sound of music. "She'll be walking funny for a while, but it could be done... Well, nah, I'm still taking the front. I hope that's okay with you." He turned around to get confirmation of the situation but saw that the griffons weren't there. He shrugged his shoulders and walked into the bar that was blaring dance music.

Inside, there were colored strobe lights roving everywhere. A mist hung about at knee level for the ponies, changing color every time a roving light went over it. The ponies dancing all had some form of glowing device on them; sticks, bracelets, necklaces, hats, strings, all different colors. The walls were made out of giant speaks, vibrating every time the bass kicked. The floor was a giant multi-colored checkerboard that flashed different colors as the ponies danced on it. There was a bar on one side of the room, and at the far end, opposite the door, was a DJ booth where a snow white mare with dark blue and neon blue mane and tail was standing, bobbing her head up and down while wearing purple sunglasses.

As Orion walked into the masses of ponies dancing, they would stop and stare at him, not sure what to think as most of them were either drunk or on some form of narcotic. Or both. Orion made his way to the DJ booth and was bobbing his head up and down to the beat.

The beat stopped.

He looked up to see the mare looking at him with a wide open mouth. She pushed her glasses up on her head, showing her blood red eyes to him.

Everything was silent.

Orion hovered a treat over to her. "Churro?" he asked.

After a second, she smiled and snagged the pastry our of the air with her teeth. The music kicked back on and all of the ponies cheered.

Orion smiled and started dancing. The remaining churros were stolen by dancers, but he didn't mind. He was having fun.

"Hey!" a voice called.

He looked up and saw the DJ beckoning to him with a hoof.

He smiled stupidly and made his way over to her, jumping above the crowd and the stage to get next to her. "Hi!" he said dumbly.

She stared at him. "Whoa, you can jump crazy high!" she yelled over the music.

Orion only nodded.

"Say," she continued, "do you wanna hang out in the VIP section?" she asked him.

He nodded. "Sure," he said.

She led him to a back room behind the stage where a few other ponies where lounging, enjoying drinks or pipes.

They all stopped and looked at him when he entered.

"Hey," he said.

"It's cool," the mare said. "He's with me."

They all relaxed at this and greeted him warmly.

She led him to a seat at the table and offered him a drink. "So, my name's Vinyl. Vinyl Scratch. What's yours?" she asked him.

He downed the drink in one go and smiled. "I'm Orion," he said.

She looked at him, impressed. "Wow, that drink didn't stand a chance. have another one."

"Okay," he said simply.

She would pour him drinks, and he would drink them. One, two, three, five, eight, twenty-nine, he drank it without effect.

"These are pretty good drinks," he said. "What are they?"

All of the ponies were wide eyed.

"They're not strong enough, that's what they are," Vinyl said admiringly.

"Oh. Well, is there any more?" he asked.

She laughed and rose out of her seat. "Let me set a new track and then I'll give you something that'll really start the party."

Orion nodded as she left. He spoke to the other ponies. One of them named Octavia really interested him. She played the cello. Cello's are cool.

The door swung open and Vinyl came back with a small bottle. She got to the table and set the bottle down.

It rattled.

"Vinyl, you said you wouldn't!" Octavia scolded.

She only laughed. "Chill out, Tavi! They're not for me." She opened the bottle and poured a small amount out on the table. "Now, you can only take one or-"

"Ooh! Candy!" Orion yelled. He grabbed a large handful and stuffed them into his mouth, swallowing them instantly.

Everybody at the table was horrified.

He opened his mouth to speak. "tahw era uoy gnikool ta?" he slurred. The world turned blue and he was in an open field. The ponies of the tables were frolicking about, smiling and laughing.

He grabbed a handful of plants. "These flowers... They're so soft..." he said as he rubbed them all over his face.

Da'Goobledy Blah, the Kitten God came down from the sky and landed on the stone temple, shining his fish colored light upon him and the ponies. "It's a good twilight and I for you need a book thrash laserbeams and vampires. SHAKKA SHAKKA OGAA'AA!!!

The water turned into soup and Orion was a potato. The old ladies were so nice. They fed him cinnamon flavored souls and let him drink the life of life of life of life of life of life OF LIFE OF LIFE OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He sat in his chair. The bib was too tight and the snake wouldn't stop singing. But as long as his eyes kept bleeding the squirrels would stop opening his chest.

He can't breathe with teeth made of air. The air was wrong and the Sun and Moon were laughing at him.

The Mynocks were eating his toes!

AAHHHH!!!

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The world was green. Up was sea cow and the unicorns laughed at him when he died. SPAGHETTI FOR EVERYBODY!!!!!!!

"I have the fork that can fork the fish and save the world, Brian," said the goat.

"Can I have a goat?" Billy asked.

"No, but you can die," said Father. His skin melted away and a long tongue came out of the mouth and ate Billy with its teeth.

All of the childrens' eyes were laughing at him! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!!!!

"I... AM... YOUR... DARK... GOD!!!!!"

Orion opened his eyes.

It was morning, or so he thought from the light coming through the window.

He would have gasped from the shock of his dream, but the DJ pony, Vinyl Scratch, had her pussy fixed firmly on his mouth.

He leaned up, rolling her off of him. His tongue pooped out of her audibly, leaving a trail of saliva and juices linking the two body parts. He looked down and saw no less than ten mares laying on him, all covered on various sex juices.

He smiled as he picked himself up. "Yep," he said out loud. "Today's gonna be a good day."

He walked out of the building, stopping at the bar to quickly grab a few bottles of drink and stuff them into his backpack. Upon exiting the building, he immediately came into harm's way. Because it seemed as if the entirety of the pony armada was aiming weapons at him. At the front of this was Celestia, Luna, Roland, and Sharpe. Behind them were the six friends.

Orion smiled even wider and goofier. "Yep, a good day," he said once more.

Peaceful Negotiations

Orion stood there with a huge grin on his face, content with how the Sun's rays warmed him through his clothes. It really as a nice day today...

He looked at the crowd of guards around him. There had to be hundreds upon hundreds of them, all waiting for the order to kill. All of them wanted to end Orion and everything he was. The pegasi hovered above, ready to rain death down upon him. The unicorns had their horns lit up and ready to cast deadly combat spells. And the earth ponies, strong as ever, all had either spears or swords, with the odd ax or club mixed in as well.

Orion smiled wider, his grin straightening slightly. Yes, this was a good day.

"Orion the Human, you are hereby under arrest for the murder of Prince Talon!" a voice from the back of the crowd called to him. "You have the right to remain silent! You have the right to a fair court hearing! You have the right to an Arbiter! You have-"

A great whooshing sound was heard from above them all. "He has no rights!" a deep, masculine voice roared.

Orion turned around to see a massive griffon land on the road behind him, shaking the ground. He had deep brown, almost black fur with wicked talons and claws. His feathers a dull gray with a streak of blood red going down the back of his head and touches of black around his eyes. His beak was long and curved, with a large crack along the right side of it.

He opened his beak and yelled at Orion loud enough to make his robes flutter. "You murdered my son while on a peaceful envoy! You attacked his mate! You're a criminal of the highest tier and will be executed by my sword in the Griffon Kingdoms! I am King Grey Down, Ruler of the Griffon Kingdoms and Slayer of the great dragon Hazze! I sentence you to death for the murder of my son, Prince Talon, Heir to the Royal Throne and only son of the King!"

Orion smiled at him and stuck out his hand. "Hi! I'm God!" he introduced happily.

The griffon took on a look of rage and disgust at this.

"Orion!" a voice, Celestia, yelled from behind him.

He turned around and smiled at her. "Yeah?" he asked with a smile in his voice.

She approached him with her sister while his friends stayed back, hands on their weapons. "Orion, this is serious!" she whispered. "You need to focus for once and evoke a trial. Even though it is my lands, I cannot stop him from convicting you for the murder of royalty of his country," she informed him.

Orion spun around and pointed his finger in the Griffon king's face, jabbing him in the eye.

Everybody present nearly fainted.

Orion screamed out. "I challenge you to a trial by combat! Winner takes all!"

"NO!!!" screamed Celestia and Luna at the same time.

The Griffon Kind swatted away Orion's finger and smiled evilly at him. "Trial granted."

***

Mavis was rubbing her face with her hand, trying- unsuccessfully- to relieve the building pressure in her skull. She had no idea why, but Orion gave her a headache. Even in a book he was dangerous to the living world. "I'll need some serious therapy after this," she said tiredly.

She turned the page and kept reading...

***

... Luna was pacing back and forth in front of Orion while Celestia was trying to take as many calming breaths as she could before the planet ran out of oxygen.

Orion was watching her pace. Every time she turned, he was awarded a nice view of her flanks. He smiled even stupider than normal.

"Art thou insane?!" Luna yelled, shaking the area around them.

Orion smiled into her face. "You have a nice ass," he said smoothly.

Her mouth opened. Then it closed. Her face went a deep purple color as she looked away. "Th- thank you," she mumbled, smiling bashfully.

Orion's smiled straightened out and his eyes took on a soft glow. "If you want to, I can make it feel real good," he said in a slimy voice that made Luna shiver.

Luna wanted to say no. To tell him not to distract her. But there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind to hear him out...

"Enough of these games, Orion," Celestia said sternly. "You cannot defeat Grey Down. It isn't possible for anypony to best him in combat. I can have a carriage ready to take you to Ponyville in less than an hour. So I sugg-"

Orion made a clicking noise with his tongue, interrupting her. "Did you know that ponies and cinnamon go really well together?" he asked her in a wondering voice.

Celestia blinked once. "You need to focus, damn it!" she screamed.

Everybody in the room leaned back and stared at her. She never lost her cool. Never yelled. And she most certainly never, ever swore.

Celestia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Orion... I don't want you to die. If you fight him, you will. There was no evidence of foul play at the scene, but Grey Down took his son's mate's word. She had said that you made advances on her and when Talon tried to stop you, you killed him. Even though I told the King of this, he refuses to listen to reason." She opened her eyes and and saw a rare sight. Orion was completely serious. "I know you are innocent, so I want to help you escape before he does anything rash," she said pleadingly. "Please, get away from the city. After a few weeks he'll calm down, and you can return."

"Orion, you can' throw your life away," a voice, Twilight, said from behind him.

He turned to see the six friends looking at him with worried faces.

"I don't really know you, but you seem cool enough for me to tell you not to get yourself killed," Rainbow Dash said.

"Ah don't want ya to die, sugercube," Applejack said.

"Darling, if you died, then I would feel simply awful!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Orion you ca't die because we're friends and friends can't die because their friends will be super duper sad and since I'm your friend I don't want to be sad for you so I don't want you to die because it'll be really, really, really sad!" Pinkie said all in one breath.

"I don't, um, want you to get hurt Orion. Please don't fight him, well, if you don't mind, that is," Fluttershy told him.

Orion looked at them all and smiled crookedly. "Okay," he said cheerily.

Everybody blinked.

"You'll... leave?" Luna asked him.

Orion nodded happily. "Yep! But first I gotta tell Feather Face that the fight's off," he told them. Then he jumped out of a nearby window, shattering the priceless artwork of stained glass to pieces.

***

Mavis facepalmed.

***

King Grey Down was sharpening his favorite sword down to a deadly point.

This thing! This... creature! It murdered his son. Now... Now, he was going to make it pay... Oh yes, he was going to make this creature scream. He'll beg for his life while on his knees before the great and mighty King Grey Down! And then... Then... He'll suffer...

The Griffon King smiled darkly as he ran a piece of cloth over his sword and saw it split in two without even the slightest pressure.

He reached over to a table that held his other weapons and took a sheath from it. Putting away his sword, he picked up a small dagger, starting to sharpen that as well.

First, its big mouth. Yes, those teeth would make a nice decoration on his mantle. And after that? Hmm... The hands. Yes, the hands will be next. He'll hang those from a thread at his side as a reminder to those who would oppose him of how deadly he was. Hmm... What next...? Maybe his-

"My King!" a griffon soldier shouted as he burst in through the door.

The King scowled at him. "What is it?!" he growled.

The soldier pointed out the door. "The creature! It's here!"

The King let a smile slowly creep across his beak. It was time... "Excellent. Is there a crowd?" he asked.

The soldier nodded. "Yes, my King. The ponies of Canterlot as well as your griffons."

The King rose and strapped on his weapons and armor. A red platemail chest piece with leg guards and a half-helm. He had two short swords, a long sword, multiple daggers and even a whip with barbs along its length. He was ready for war.

He just wasn't ready for Orion.

***

As the two princesses flew overhead, the six friends and the crewmates all ran along the streets- save for Rainbow Dash who was flying above them- looking for Orion. They had no idea where to start looking, so they simply looked everywhere. After all, if they looked everywhere, they would see everything.

"I don't see him!" Rainbow yelled.

"Just keep looking!" Twilight yelled back.

Rainbow Dash saluted and flew over a set of buildings, disappearing from sight.

As they ran along the cobbled roads of Canterlot city, they couldn't help but notice that they were getting some very strange looks from the townsfolk. The ponies had never seen anything like them before, but that still didn't make it any less rude to stare.

"I think I see something!" Luna called to them. She swooped down low and glided along side them. She looked to Twilight. "In two streets turn left and go a few more blocks!" she instructed. She then flew off in the direction of what she had seen.

"D'ya think it's him?" breathed Applejack.

Twilight turned and looked at her farm pony friend. "I hope so. Or Equestria might get involved in a war."

A rainbow blur sped at them, stopping just before collision. "Did you find him?" Rainbow Dash asked them all.

"Yeah, turn here!" Roland said.

They all filed into the side street and saw that, at the end, there was a huge crowd of ponies and griffons carrying weapons.

The princesses were already there, but they could only watch as the crowd grew larger and rowdier.

***

Orion stood in the huge circle of spectators calmly with a goofy grin on his face. Yes... Today was a good day...

The Griffon King came out of the large inn and glared at Orion. He was armed to the teeth and had some serious armor on. He looked very imposing.

Orion kept on smiling.

As the King strode into the circle of jeering griffons and ponies, he spoke. "So, you wish to die already? Well, it'll be a pleasure granting that wish," he said sadistically.

Orion shook his head. "No, I don't think I'll be dying today, Queen Fancy Feather Face. But thanks for caring about what I want."

The crowd grew silent as the King's glare grew so cold a glacier would shiver.

"What did you call me?" he asked in a dangerous tone of voice.

Orion cocked his head to the side. "Queen Fancy Feather Face. Why, are you going deaf with old age, Queeny? You should see a doctor about that. But then again, you're probably too inbred and stupid to realize the obvious. So you can thank me later for my advice." Orion was beaming at the King.

"Orion, shut up!" a voice from the crowd said.

He turned to see all of his friends: Celestia, Luna, the six ponies and his crewmates standing in the crowd.

It was Rainbow Dash who had spoken. She was hovering above the crowd with a horrified expression on her face at what he had said.

He waved at her. "Hey guys! Thanks for talking me into doing this! I'm feeling more confident already!" he yelled to them.

Every eye in the crowd turned to the group.

"But anyways..." Orion said, turning back to the King. "Those are some nice weapons you got there. Compensating for something?" he laughed.

The King growled and drew his longsword.

Orion laughed harder and pointed a finger at him. "Wow, you look scary man! Like an angry little girl who was just told no by her parents!"

The King shot up into the air, aiming his sword at Orion's chest.

"Really though. If you have a sword that big, it must mean you have a really, really tiny dick!" Orion said as he roared with laughter.

The King charged Orion. He roared with rage as he came closer to him.

***

Celestia shielded her eyes for what was about to come. As she turned her head, she saw the alien crew all passing around small pieces of metal.

"I got twenty on decapitation," Megan said.

Lily handed Roland a small pouch. "Fifty credits that he crushes him in less than a minute," she said with a small smile.

Celestia's eyes grew huge. "You're betting on your own friend's life?!" she scolded.

The crew all looked at her. Then at each other. They all burst out laughing.

"No," Roland said with some difficulty. "We're betting on how Orion'll kill this idiot."

Larry nodded and spoke. "I think he's gonna singe him to death," he told her.

Celestia looked back at the fight and saw that Grey Down was almost upon Orion. She watched lividly with new interest.

***

Orion stood here laughing, slapping his knees and holding his sides. That is, until the King's sword went straight through him.

... Along with the King...

King Grey Down tumbled to the ground, smacking his head on the cobbled street. He was thankful that he was wearing a helmet.

He shot to his... paws? Talons? ... Both?

He shot to his both and was about to strike Orion again. But he wasn't there. The King swung his head around in a search for his prey, but for the life of him, he couldn't find him.

Then he received an almighty kick to the ass.

He stumbled forward a few steps before falling flat on his face. He growled as he stood back up and turned around. Then he froze.

There, standing before him, smiling stupidly, were ten copies of Orion, all looking directly at him.

He lashed out at the nearest one, expecting it to simply explode into a puff of air.

Orion caught his eagle-like arm in a crushing grip.

The King's eyes widened.

Orion's smile straightened. He pulled hard and ripped the Kings arm out of its socket. Orion then pushed him hard and forced him to fall over.

Then all hell broke loose as the all of the Orions started kicking and stomping on him as he fell to the ground. The whole time they all screeched and howled with laughter, taking nothing but joy out of punishing the Griffon King.

He yelled. "ENOUGH!!!" as he swept his wings out in a large circle, pushing back all of the Orions. He got back up and rotated his arm. A loud crack was heard as it popped back into place.

All of the ponies and griffons present grimaced at the sound it made.

"You want to play dirty?" the King growled at Orion. "Fine. We can play dirty," he said as he drew his two short swords. He launched into the air and dove at the Orions.

They all simply blinked out of existence, leaving everybody confused.

The King stopped his assault, hovering in the air. "Where are you, coward?! Show yourself!" he yelled.

"Okay."

The King turned around and saw Orion's stupid smile.

Orion jumped straight into him with the help of his Force powers, rocketing himself into the King hard enough to knock him out of the air. As the King fell, Orion stuck out his hand and caught him with his Force. He slammed him brutally into the ground, creating a small crater. Then he did it again. And again. And again... and again and again and again. By the time Orion was finished, there was a good-sized crater in the ground, with a damaged King in the bottom of it.

"I'm... going... to... kill you," the King moaned as he crawled out of the hole made just for him.

Orion's eyes took on a bright glow as he smiled wider. "You're not dead yet? Cool! We can play some more!"

The King shambled up to him with a scowl. "Do you think this is a game boy?! You murdered my son! And now I'm going to kill you!" He lashed out with his claws.

Orion's hand came up and caught his talon with the Force.

The King swung his other claw.

Orion took control of his other talon.

"Let go of me you fiend! I'm the King!"

Orion came up close to him, smiling dangerously. "I want to fuck your brain," he said creepily.

The King had nothing to respond with. It was just too crazy.

Orion took one of his hands and grabbed the King's head.

Everybody instantly felt like the air around them got fifty pounds heavier. There was the sound of a heartbeat, like a deep drum beating over and ever again in their ears. None of them knew what was going on, but they were all afraid. Completely, horribly afraid. Even the princesses.

The King's eyes rolled up into his head. "Brill? Is that you?" he asked in a haunted voice. "H- how are you here? I- I thought you died!"

Orion smiled sweetly. "No, my love," he said softly. "I'm not dead. But now that I'm looking at you again, I wish I was."

The King looked confused. "W- what? What do you mean? What are you talking about?" he demanded of "Brill".

Orion stroked one hand along his beak. "I never loved you, Downy, not really. I only married you because I wanted your money, your power. Even Talon isn't yours. He belongs to one of your guards. I'm not sure which, there were so many I slept with when you weren't looking," "Brill" said.

The King started to cry. "W- w- wh- what...?" he said pitifully.

Orion scratched the King's chin with a finger. "I never even wanted to be with you. But my father wouldn't listen."

The King fell to his knees, weeping at Orion's feet. "P- pl- please, Brill! Please tell me this is a joke! I- I- I nearly d- died when you disappeared! I- I looked for you! For years! For years I searched for you!" he begged Orion desperately.

Orion removed his hands from the King's head and took a few steps back, smiling brightly.

King Grey Down fell to the ground, weeping. He laid there for almost a full minute before looking up. His eyes were back to normal. "Brill, I-" But all he saw was a beaming Orion. It took a second for him to realize what had happened, and when he did, he shot like a bullet towards him.

Orion held his hand out.

Everybody watching felt a fear unlike any other as they watched the cloaked man. He was going to hurt them. He was going to kill them. He was going to kill them! Oh, no! They were all going to die! They were dying! They were going to die!

The King stopped when he saw his hand rise. The air was crushing him. He fell to the ground from the weight that was pushing down on him. It felt like a dragon was sitting on him. He tried to stand up, but he couldn't move. He couldn't move. He can't move. He can't move! He's trapped! This thing killed his son and now he's going to kill him! He's going to die! He's going to be killed! He's going to die!

Orion took a step closer, smiling serenely at King Grey Down.

The King found the strength to crawl away from him. He didn't want to die! Oh, by the ancestors, he didn't want to die!

Orion took another step forward, his eyes glowing like a pair of stars.

The King tried to crawl away again, but the dread withing him was weighing him down like huge metal blocks chained to his limbs. He whimpered pitifully.

Orion took another step forward. He was standing only a foot from the King.

"P- Please..." he whimpered.

"Please?" Orion asked. "Please kill you in a horrifically painful way? Okay!" he cheered happily.

"No!" the King screeched. But it was too late. His beak was forced open hard enough to break his jaws. Then his beak was ripped completely off. In the hole that was left, his back legs were lifted up and forced into his mouth. He couldn't breathe, but Orion didn't care. His legs went so far down his throat that his hips were touching his face. His front legs were twisted around and around until they broke in so many places that they were completely limp. His tail was shoved violently into his left eye socket, destroying the eyeball. It was then pulled through his skull, and yanked back out of his right eye socket. At this point he was mostly dead. But he could still feel the pain. He couldn't taste his legs, he couldn't hear his bones breaking further, he couldn't smell the blood, he couldn't see his twisted form, he could only feel the pain. The horrible, horrible, horrific pain.

Orion grabbed his entire form in his Force. He closed his hand into a fist.

The King's body was crushed down into the size of a soccer ball, the bones all either sticking out of the bloodied skin or popping out of his corpse completely. The blood spattered everywhere in a ten foot radius, soaking almost everybody in the crowd, but somehow leaving Orion untouched.

Orion stretched and groaned as a few joints popped. He then turned around and walked out of the crowd. "I wonder where I can get some ice cream..." he said before turning a corner and disappearing into the city.

***

Celestia, Luna, Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Larry, Jake, Megan, Lily, Faiz, Seth Sharpe, and Roland stared at the mangled corpse of what was once the King of the Griffons.

Rarity shot her head to the side and puked up everything in her stomach.

Seeing this, all of her friends save for Applejack and Rainbow Dash did the same.

Every single griffon present shot into the sky, speeding away.

Celestia turned to Roland and Sharpe. "So, who had that bet?" she asked quietly.

Roland shook his head and rubbed his face with his hand.

"That's... never happened before," Sharpe said slowly. "I'm... I don't even know what that was, but I think that we should probably go stop Orion."

Celestia turned to the recovering Twilight Sparkle. "Twilight, take your friends and our guests back to the castle. Once we find Orion, we'll meet you all in the dining hall," she said carefully.

Twilight nodded slowly, not wanting to upset her stomach further.

Luna gave her sister a worried look. "What if he resists us?" she asked.

Celestia sighed and hung her head as she slowly trotted off in the direction Orion headed off in. "I can only hope that he'll be in a cooperative mood," she said with worry in her voice.

***

The young filly was running for her life. She ducked under a beam of wood as she sped through the old abandoned house. She had no idea what the thing chasing her was, but it was fast!

She looked over her shoulder to see if he was still behind her. She didn't see him, so she slowed her pace somewhat. She turned a corner of the deserted manor and hit something. Or someone.

"Clover!" a second young filly cried out.

Clover looked in front of her and saw a shockingly light blue unicorn filly with a lighter blue mane and tail with silver eyes and a Cutie mark of five snowflakes in a gust of wind. It was her sister, Ice Storm. "Icy!" Clover yelled and threw her little hooves around her sister tightly. "I thought that he got you!"

Icy returned the hug and shook her head. "No, but he almost did. He's crazy! He went straight through a beam and made the whole room cave in on him!" she exclaimed.

Clover pulled away from her sister. "Is he-"

"Right here?~"

Both of them turned with wide eyes and saw the huge black robed figure of Orion looming over them. His eyes were glowing in the darkness of the room and his smile seemed to be gleaming.

They screamed as he lunged forward.

Clover jumped out of the way of him, but he got Icy! "No! Icy!" Cover cried.

"Go on without me!" she screamed.

Clover's eyes teared up as she turned and ran away from her sister and the maniac chasing them. She was a little earth pony filly with a creamy yellow coat and a gentle shade of green for a mane and tail with dark blue eyes and a Cutie mark of two small clovers.

"I'm gonna getcha!" he jeered after her.

How was he so fast?!

She slid around a corner and came face-to-face with a wall. She fell back on her rump and rubbed her muzzle, groaning in pain.

There was a step behind her.

She turned with wide eyes and saw him. He had her trapped. She was doomed. "No... You can't do this!" she yelled.

He reached down quickly and grabbed her, bringing her close to his maniacal smile.

Her eyes widened with fear. "No..."

He nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off of her. "Yes..." He opened his mouth wide.

"Nooooooooooo!!!" she screamed.

He put his mouth on her belly and blew air out of his mouth, making an unsavory noise on her stomach and tickling her horribly. "OMNOMNOMNOM!!!!" he growled while doing this.

She giggled wildly as she pounded her tiny hooves into his head to get him to stop. "No! P- ple- plea-he-he-hease! Stop it! S- stop it!" she laughed out.

Ice Storm poked her little head out of his shirt, seeing the scene before her eyes. "Noooo!! He got you too!" she wailed. "You monster! How could you?!" she accused him.

He laughed as he pulled his head away from the laughing Clover. "I'm evil, that's how dare I!" he said, stuffing Clover into his shirt next to her sister.

"Hey!" she complained, squirming around to get her head out.

He laughed as his normal goofy smiled returned and he used his Force to make a hole in the old mansion. He stepped out and started walking down the road, the two of them riding along comfortably in his shirt.

The mansion creaked loudly. Then it crumbled to the ground behind them as they turned a corner.

"So," said Icy, "Where are we going?"

Orion smiled a little wider. "I saw an ice cream shop around here someplace. I want some Cookies & Cream!" he said.

Both of them cheered. "Yay! Ice cream!"

Clover looked up at him. "How did you find us anyway?" she asked him curiously.

He looked down at her with a smile. "I can feel your life force," he said in a spooky voice.

They both giggled and tucked themselves deeper into his shirt.

"Ice cream store, a'hoy!" Orion screamed as they giggled at him. He sprinted forwards, jostling them around as he went.

"H- h- e- e- y- y! S- t- t- o- o- p!" They tried as he went.

He either didn't hear them or didn't care. He arrived at the shop and opened the door, the two fillies shaking their heads to clear the stars. He walked up to the counter and rang the bell.

"Ooh, ooh! I wanna ring it too!" Clover yelled.

"Me too!" Icy added.

Orion chuckled and leaned forward so they could mangle the bell, creating less of a ringing sound and more of a dying sound.

"Can I help you?" a voice asked.

Orion straightened himself and looked over the counter to see a stallion eyeing him oddly. "I vant all ze ice cream!" he yelled with a ridiculous accent.

The two fillies laughed at him again.

The stallion only kept eyeing him.

Orion grumbled and waved his hand in front of his face. "You want to give me all of your ice cream. Oh, and your bananas and cherries too," he said calmly.

The stallion twitched a little bit, but nodded slowly and trotted into the back of the shop. A minute later he came back out with three huge tubes of ice cream. Caramel, Pistachio, and Cookies & Cream.

"Whoa, Caramel is my favorite flavor!" Icy exclaimed.

"Pistachio is my favorite!" Clover added.

"Mmm... Cookies & Cream..." moaned Orion eloquently.

He levitated all three tubs and a smaller tub of fruit out of the shop and onto a patio table.

The two fillies jumped out of his shirt and literally dove into the tubs of ice cream.

Orion dunked his head into his tub.

And everything was delicious.

***

There were three empty tubs of ice cream, one empty tub of fruit, and three happy, smiling friends laying on the ground.

"That was sooooo good..." moaned Icy. She then burped.

"Uh huh," agreed Clover. She then burped even louder.

"I like ice cream," Orion said. He then burped loud enough to make the ponies across the street stop and stare in disgust at the three of them.

They all laughed at this.

"Well, I'm getting cold laying here. Though it could be the ice cream..." Orion muttered as he stood up.

The two fillies forced themselves up and reached out their hooves expectantly towards him.

He sighed and picked them both up and stuffed them back into his shirt. They seemed to be a pound or two heavier.

They sighed happily and snuggled against his chest, savoring the warmth his body was creating.

Orion walked around the city, window shopping- and occasionally Force shopping- with his two new best friends safely tucked into him as he went.

They would cry out in wonder and awe sometimes when they saw things they never had seen before, never having been allowed to roam this far from home. They were truly amazed when they saw a fire juggler in the street, throwing around and catching half a dozen lit torches.

Orion smiled as he nudged one of the torches a little, causing him to miss and set his hat on fire. He and the two girls laughed hysterically at that and went on their way, checking out more of Canterlot.

Winter was setting in in the mountains, and a light snow powdered the ground. It was actually extremely peaceful. Just walking around with the two of them. Almost like they were a family doing some holiday shopping. Almost like they were his daughters, and he their happy father. Looking after them, making them smile, always happy as long as his precious little girls were smiling...

Orion fell to the ground on his bottom, leaning against a building for support. The tears came faster than ever before, creating hot trails on his face as he wept.

The two in his shirt turned to face him.

"What's wrong?" asked Icy with worry.

Orion looked at them for a long time. He then pulled them out of his shirt and nearly crushed them in a tight hug, his tears dropping into their manes. "I love you girls so much," he whispered to them. "Please, promise me that you'll never leave me."

The two of them didn't know why he was crying, but it made them sad to see him sad. They both wrapped their hooves around his neck tightly, hugging him back. They didn't know why, but this made them cry as well.

Orion wrapped them up in his arms and rocked back-and-forth, weeping over his precious little girls. His happy, smiling, beautiful little girls. The little girls that will never be his.

They couldn't even hear the approaching steps over his sobbing.

***

The two princesses as well as Roland and Sharpe made their way through the snowy streets of Canterlot in silence. They didn't want to talk. If they did, they would be forced to talk about what Orion might be doing right now. And that worried all of them more than anything else.

Where was he?

What is he doing?

Has he killed anyone yet?

Is he killing someone right now?

Is he eating ice cream?

There were too many questions to be asked and not enough answers for those questions. Hence, them walking in silence.

They turned a corner and Roland groaned.

Where a grand manor once stood, only rubble remained, scattered around the street and even in some nearby buildings.

"Three guesses what happened here," Sharpe hissed sarcastically.

Luna looked at him. "An earthquake?" she asked hopefully.

Sharpe looked at her like she was stupid.

She smiled weakly. "A large earthquake...?" she tried again.

Sharpe hissed slightly as his tongue flicked out towards her.

She sighed heavily. "Orion?" she asked in defeat.

Sharpe flashed her a horribly toothy grin and patted her on the head. "There's a smart pony," he congratulated her.

She scowled at him.

He only grinned wider as he started walking again, following Orion's scent.

Once his back was turned, Luna rubbed the spot where he had patted her and smiled warmly. She continued following Sharpe through the silent, snowy streets of Canterlot.

They walked down the street and, after a short time, reached a small ice cream shop. There were three large, empty containers as well as a smaller container that was also empty.

Sharpe sniffed the air. "Cookies & Cream..." he mused.

Celestia looked at him. "Is that relevant?" she asked questioningly.

He deadpanned at her. "We're looking for Orion and we find a bunch of empty ice cream containers. One of which is is favorite. What do you think?" he asked harshly.

Celestia blushed slightly. "Oh."

As they continued, Luna walked past her, giggling quietly. They followed the boot prints in the snow for a few minutes longer until they heard a worrying sound: crying.

They hurried around the corner and... Well, they weren't quite sure what they were looking at.

Orion was clinging tightly on to two small fillies while all three of them cried on each other. Orion was sitting in the snow while the two of them where set on his chest. He was sobbing quite loudly as he rocked them back-and-forth slowly in his arms like a parent would a scared child.

"Well..." Roland said. "This is new..."

Celestia looked at him worriedly. "Has this ever happened before?" she asked in worry.

Roland shook his head at her. "Not like this. Usually it's a few tears here and there, but never outright sobbing," he told her.

She looked back to Orion. "Well, what do you usually do to help him?" she asked.

Roland coughed. "Well... we usually ignore him until he's done, actually. It's never lasted longer than a minute or two..." he confessed.

Celestia looked back at him with a disappointed expression and shook her head at him. "I can't believe you two," she scolded while she walked towards the weeping Orion.

Sharpe rolled his reptilian eyes and hissed at her, flicking his tongue out in annoyance.

Roland hung his head slightly and shuffled his feet in the snow.

Wow, she really knew how to make them feel horrible about themselves.

***

Orion had calmed down somewhat in his sobbing. He still held on tightly to the fillies, like he thought that if he faltered they would disappear away from him. He rocked them back-and-forth slowly, humming a soft tune into their ears as he did so.

He finished the last note and took in a shaky breath.

"That was beautiful," said a voice from in front of him.

He didn't look up. He knew who it was.

"May I sit?" Celestia asked quietly.

He didn't respond.

There was a soft thump and a ruffling of feathers as Celestia sat next to him. Close enough to feel his body heat, but not close enough to touch him.

The two fillies looked over at her with wide eyes.

"What are your names, young ones?" Celestia asked gently.

"I- I'm Icy," Icy told her as she gripped Orion tighter. He didn't mind.

"I'm Clover," Clover said, also gripping onto Orion tighter. And again, he didn't mind in the slightest.

"Hello. As you probably know, I am Celestia. I can see you've met my friend, Orion," she said.

The both nodded at her.

Orion felt a cold spike of hatred enter his heart and it only grew the longer she sat there.

"Orion, may I speak to you?" she asked.

He only continued to rock his two little girls.

Celestia spoke carefully. "I know you have your problems. More than your fair share, really. But they don't belong to you; they are somepony else's children. You can't hold on to them the entire night," she informed him quietly.

New tears leaked from his eyes as he sat there.

Celestia saw this and didn't know what to say. She was truly at a loss. Sure he could like children, who didn't? They were cute. They were nice. But they weren't his. Surely he understood what it might feel like if your children didn't come home... A thought struck Celestia. A certain word used back when they were talking... As she came to the realization, she could feel her heart seize up and tears of her own threatened to fall. "You said 'all'. But there were only two of them. Why would you say 'all' if there weren't more than two lives lost?"

Orion shut his eyes tightly at her words.

Celestia's mouth opened in shock. "Were they... with child...?" she asked. She hoped against hope that she was wrong.

Orion's face contorted into the very image of pain and sorrow and he held his little girls tighter, sobbing loudly into the evening air.

She quickly wrapped her wings around him tightly and puled him into a comforting hug with her forehooves, hugging him around his back with her hooves draping over his shoulders. She rubbed and patted his back, shedding a few hot tears of her own as he let out a haunting wail, causing anybody nearby who didn't know what was going on to shudder from the pain the sound carried with it.

Celestia put her head next to his and made soothing noises for him. She knew from firsthand experience just how much this can hurt someone. She had over a thousand years to deal with it, and it still caused her pain. But everything else piled on top of this? All of this had happened to him in in less than five years of his short lifetime. She was honestly amazed that he hasn't gone completely mad yet.

Being Crazy Doesn't Mean I'm Crazy

Roland walked the halls of Canterlot castle with Seth at his side, explaining to him the advantages if heavy artillery compared to sniper support. It was a losing argument. For every point Roland made, Seth would only respond with "I won't have to worry about that because I'm a sniper." It was really getting on Roland's nerves.

"For the last time, Seth! Even if you're a sniper, you have to worry about other snipers!" Roland yelled at him.

Seth only shook his head. "Not really. Snipers look for targets on the battle field, not a mile away hidden in a tree. As long as I stay inconspicuous, I would be safe," he told him.

Roland threw his hands up in the air and stomped off, leaving Seth alone in the halls. The nerve! He would put sniper support before artillery?! How could anybody be that stupid?!

Roland turned a corner and, quite literally, bumped into Celestia and Luna. "Oh, sorry. Didn't see you there," he apologized.

Celestia smiled at him. "No worries, Roland. It was an honest mistake." She looked into his eyes and he almost flinched.

Roland was a witness to Orion's breakdown, along with Sharpe, Celestia, Luna, and two little kids. He was angry when she refused to tell anybody but her sister what happened, and every time any of them look at either of the princesses they give them this look like they're trying to stab through their souls with their eyes.

Celestia held the gaze for a few more seconds, making Roland feel uncomfortable. After he blinked, she and her sister continued walking, leaving behind a very confused and very annoyed Roland.

They turned a corner.

"I still can't forgive them, sister," Luna told her angrily.

Celestia looked to her sister with a small smile on her lips. "It doesn't matter if we can or can't, Luna. Only if he can," she said.

They were quiet for a while as the walked through the white marble halls together.

Luna broke the silence. "It's hard to believe, isn't it?" she asked in a distant voice.

Celestia nodded to herself. "It is."

Luna stared hard at the ground as she walked. "We've lived through less horrible situations, and even as immortals, we almost lost ourselves..." She sighed. "I did lose myself."

Celestia put a wing around her sister for comfort. "I do not know how he did it, but from what little we know about him, I can only imagine what kind of mental state he is in."

Luna hummed in thought.

"No," Celestia said firmly.

Luna looked hurt. "I didn't even say anything!" she defended.

Celestia's eyes narrowed as she pulled her wing away. "No," she said again.

Luna groaned. "Sister, we could help him," she said.

Celestia glared at her sister. "And we could also make him even worse," she countered.

The two of them stopped outside of a large wooden door that was radiating energy. It had wide metal bars bolted into it and three large draw-bolts keeping it locked.

"We wouldn't even have to touch anything."

"No."

"All we would do is look."

"No."

"We could be in and out in ten minutes!"

"No!"

"We could learn so much from him!"

"No, Luna! We are not invading his privacy like that, and that is final!"

The door opened and a tired looking nurse looked at them both with disdain. "With all due respect, your highness. Please, be quiet. I don't know how much longer he can hold on and he needs rest," she said.

The two of them bowed their heads and entered the room, closing and locking the door behind them. They walked over to a large bed with black sheet and at least a dozen soft pillows on it. Resting on this bed was Orion. His clothes were all stripped off of him except for his pants. Everything he had on him was in a bin to the side of the room, safely tucked away. His breathing was shallow and ragged, him dragging in breath like it pained him to do so.

"How is he?" Celestia asked.

The nurse shook her head slowly. "His fever is only going up. He can't eat or drink anything that isn't in a straw, and I have to make sure he doesn't swallow his tongue from all of the screaming. I- I don't know. I really don't..." she told them, hanging her head slightly.

Celestia's eyes narrowed slightly. "Screaming?" she asked her.

The nurse nodded. "Yes, screaming. It sounds like he's dying and he'll be at it for hours before passing out again. I don't know if it's from pain or just nightmares."

Luna cleared her throat loudly and looked to her sister.

Celestia gave her a hard look. But, as she thought about what the nurse said, she sighed and nodded. "Nurse, can you make sure nopony enters the room for a while?"

The nurse nodded. "Of course, princess."

Celestia and Luna both started charging their horns. The combined light was intense, almost blinding. Once the spell was complete, they touched the tips of their horns to Orion's forehead. In the next second, they were gone.

***

The two alicorn sisters opened their eyes, awakening in a dream. Well, dream used loosely, as the only thing they saw was a large, open expanse filled with fog without any color besides various shades of white.

The two of them walked forward. They didn't move. They looked at each other in wonder.

"What's going on?" Celestia asked Luna.

Luna shook her head. "I... don't know. This should be his dream, but... Well, as you can see, this is no dream."

The sound of a creaking hinge met their ears.

They turned around to see a small stand rise up out of the ground directly behind them. It had two buttons on it.

The first button was a large red button with a sticky note attached to it reading: Do Not Press.

The second button was a large red button with a sticky note attached to it reading: Use Other Button.

They looked at each other in confusion for a while before Luna reached out and pushed the "Do Not Press" button.

The floor fell out from beneath them, leaving them falling into a small room with multiple monitors. They looked around and saw beings fade into existence around them. One of them was Orion, and the other was a young female who they didn't know the name of. She had red skin and black tattoos all over her body, tight-fitting clothing, and two slim tails on her head.

"Tisus, what are we doing here?" he asked her.

They were shocked when they heard how serious his voice was. How stern he looked. They almost didn't recognize him.

"We need to help them out of their cells, right?" the female asked in a rushed voice.

Orion crossed his arms. "No, we really don't. We can just leave," he said.

She turned around and got in his face. "Just be ready, okay?!" she screamed at him

He sneered into her face. "What if I'm not?" he threatened.

They held each other's gaze for a while before she looked away and scoffed. "Please? Just be ready," she said quietly.

He shook his head and went over to the controls.

The image faded out and was replaced by another one of Orion and two more females who the didn't know.

One of them was a light pink color with dark blue hair with neon blue streaks through it. She had red eyes and was quite a bit shorter than Orion, but her muscles looked hard. She had a light tan jacket and a black tank top beneath that. She had blue pants that went just past her knees and black boots that went up to her shins. Stockings came up to her knees and also on her arms went to her shoulder, with black fingerless gloves holding them in place. She also had large headphones and and was wearing purple sunglasses. The most noticeable thing was the metal collar that had a flashing red light on it.

The second female had dark purple skin with bright red hair and light purple eyes. She was a little taller than the other female, but not by much and had about the same build. She wore some kind of tight-fitting body suit that was zipped down to her waist, revealing a tight black shirt underneath. She had black armored boots and black goggles hanging around her neck. A green eye piece flashed lines of information over her left eye. She also was wearing a collar with a flashing red light.

They lay on either side of Orion in a grassy field. It was night time and the nocturnal creatures made their calls as they stared at the sky. Billions upon billions of stars stared right back at them.

Orion had his arms wrapped around them. "You know, I think I could live like this," he said happily.

The smaller one turned over and looked at him. "Like what?" she asked.

He looked at her and kissed her deeply on the mouth. "Like... this. You two, me, the stars. Once we get enough money we can have a little house out here and do this every night."

The larger one cuddled closer to him. "Mmm, I'd like that. I think I'd make a lovely house wife," she mused.

The smaller one laughed. "You? A house wife? Yeah, and I'd make a good mom!" she jeered.

The two of them sat up and argued while Orion put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes.

The scene faded away and was replaced with a nightmare. Orion was chained down as the two females from before where in chains in front of him. They were sobbing openly as... something... paced in front of Orion.

"So, you think you can stop me?" it asked in a hollow, echoing voice.

Orion pulled on his chains. "I'll fucking kill you, you big bitch!" Orion screamed.

The thing walked away from him and stood in front of the two females. "I think that once you learn to lose, you'll appreciate what I'm trying to do here."

Orion's eyes widened. "No. No, no , no nononononononono!!! Don't you fucking touch them!" he screamed as he pulled against his chains.

Thankfully, the image faded away.

The sisters looked at each other briefly before looking back at the developing scene.

It was a bar. There was loud music playing, people dancing and laughing and smiling everywhere. Except for Orion, which was sitting at the bar with a haunted expression on his face.

A dancing couple came too close and bumped into them. The air around them felt like it was crushing down on them. They couldn't breathe. Not just the couple, but the entire building stopped and started to choke on... nothing. There wasn't anything there, they were just choking. After about twenty seconds, the first bodies hit the floor. After a minute, the whole bar was dead.

Orion finished his drink and got up, walked out of the bar, and let the image fade away.

The new image was that was a large battle field. There were corpses everywhere. Bolts were flying back and forth. And Orion was standing in the middle of all of it. He had an uncaring expression on his face, even as a bolt hit him in the shoulder.

"Orion!" Roland yelled. "You need to clear the way! Tisus isn't here and I'm out of ammo!"

Orion turned towards where the bolts were coming from. He stuck out his hands. He opened his palms, and after a few seconds, he made them both into fists.

The sickening crunching sound made them glad that they couldn't see what had happened. But before the image faded, they could see Orion's twisted smile.

The next image was simple. Orion was in a plain, grey room with a young girl tied to a chair.

"Please! Please let me go! I swear, I didn't mean to do it!" she begged.

Orion pulled out a large knife and advanced on the girl. "If you didn't mean to do it, then why did you?" he asked calmly.

She broke down crying.

"See, I knew you were guilty," Orion said as he loomed over the girl. He started cutting.

She started screaming.

He started laughing.

The sisters looked at one another again with very disturbed expressions.

The next scene started, but before it could kick in, a voice shattered it. "Well, hello, hello, hello! Who have we here?!" Orion's voice said. But it wasn't his voice at the same time.

"What's wrong?" asked a different but still the same voice.

"The princesses are in our head!" the first voice said.

"Um, hello?" Celestia ventured.

"Hello!" came the reply of at least twenty voices, all the same but still different.

The white scene from before turned into a homely bar. There were comfy booths, shiny tables and counters, good lighting, hardwood flooring, and a jukebox in the corner.

There were Orions everywhere.

There was a very cheery Orion standing before them with two menus wearing an apron and a little name tag that hang crookedly on his cloak that spelled: orien :) "Hello, welcome to Orion's Happy Place! Would you like a table or a booth?" the cheery Orion asked.

They stared at the man before them with confusion. "Uh... Booth, please," Celestia finally said. And like they blinked, they were sitting in a booth with menus in front of them and each had a glass of water with a crazy straw in it. They looked at each other for a second before Luna shrugged and started browsing the menu for anything good.

"Luna, is this a normal dream?" Celestia asked suspiciously.

Luna answered without looking up. "No, it's not. But I've never been in a Human's mind before, so this could be perfectly normal for him," she said.

Celestia thought about this for a while before finally giving up trying to figure it out and looked through the menu as well.

Luna spoke out loud as she decided on what to eat. "I think I'm having the roasted veggie bowl with the side of... Cherrubs? No... Ah, here we go! The fruit salad with a side of banana pie!" And again, just like if they blinked, her order was in front of her.

They both eyed it for a while before Luna levitated a piece of watermelon in front of her and ate it. Her eye went wide. "Sister..."

Celestia looked at her sister worriedly. "What's wrong, Luna? Is it poisoned?!"

Luna shook her head. "Worse. It's... real."

Celestia cocked a brow at her. "What do you mean?"

Luna popped a grape into her mouth and ate it. "I mean, that everything in here is real! As in, really real! As in, anything that happens in here actually has a physical effect on the outside world!"

Celestia's eyes widened. "So... if we were to... say, die. Would we actually be dead?"

Luna nodded slowly as she ate a part of a banana dipped in strawberry sauce.

Celestia let out a worried sigh. "Well then, I'd better not get too much desert. I think I'll have... the... 2x4? What's that?" There was a blink in time and space, and the food was there. Two pancakes, two eggs, two pieces of bacon, and two sausages. Meat... "Uhm, can I get fruit instead of meat?" Another blink, and the bacon was replaced with watermelon, and the sausages with orange slices. "Thank you!" she called out to nothing in particular.

They ate in relative silence. Once they finished, their plates blinked away.

The same cheery Orion came up to them with a happy smile. "Was everything okay?" he asked happily.

They both nodded. "It was wonderful. Give my thanks to the chef," Celestia said.

He smiled wider and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Luna called.

The waiter came back to them with a smile. "Yes ladies? Can I get you anything else?" he asked.

"Where can we find Orion?" she asked him.

His smile vanished. "Oh, him... He's over there, by the bar," he said as he jerked a thumb over to a hunched over figure nursing a large bottle of alcohol.

They thanked the waiter and made their way over to the Orion at the bar.

"Wilfred, where did I go wrong?" Orion asked the Orion behind the counter.

Wilfred, the Orion serving drinks sighed. "I don't know, sir," he said in a posh accent. "Maybe it was when you went insane?" he suggested.

Orion grumbled at him. "Thanks Wilfred, you're a lot of help."

Wilfred Orion smiled. "Always happy to serve, sir," he said as he walked around to the other side of the bar.

Luna and Celestia listened to the exchange with interest. When Wilfred was out of earshot, Luna cleared her throat.

"Why are you in my head?" was the immediate response.

Celestia was surprised. "You knew we were here?"

Orion took another drink. "It's my mind, genius," he scolded.

Celestia and Luna were taken back by this. Orion was always happy. Always nice to them.

"You are not Orion, Impostor! Give us the real Orion!" Luna yelled at him.

He spun around on the stool and glared at them.

They actually flinched.

"Didn't you see the in-flight movie, highness? In case you were wondering why I was so different back then, it's because that was before I lost my mind," he growled.

Celestia spoke. "What do you mean?"

Orion swirled his finger around his head. "I'v gone bat shit crazy, that's what I mean. You see all of these fuckers pretending to be me?" he asked them.

They nodded.

"Well it used to just be me up here, but after a while, they started showing up. Now I have to share my head with myself," he shivered. "Do you have any idea what that's like? No? Well, it's a fucking living nightmare."

The two of them thought about what he said for a while before continuing their conversation.

"Aren't you in control though, being the original Orion?" Celestia asked him.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, I am. But I also have all of these little fuckers influencing me as I'm going. That's why I come here at night; to get away from them. Ain't that right Wilfred?!"

Wilfred came around the bend in the bar and groaned. "Yes, the sir has been coming here every night for as long as I can remember. And quite frankly, I'm considering recommending him to a rehabilitation center for his problem," Wilfred articulated.

Orion growled. "Y'know, I'm sitting right here, you great prick!"

Wilfred looked offended. "Sir, with that kind of language, I'm going to have to cut you off for the rest of the night!" he told Orion sternly.

Orion stood up and threw his drink at Wilfred, who ducked under it, and stormed out of the room with the princesses following close behind.

"Orion!" Celestia said. "Orion, stop!"

"Make me!" he barked over his shoulder at her.

Celestia was about to charge up her horn, but Luna stopped her. "No, if you do that it could cause permanent brain damage," she said.

Celestia sighed. "Well, how do we stop him then?" she asked her sister.

Luna smirked. "The old fashion way," she said.

Orion was walking when a great weight hit him in the back and knocked him to the floor. He rolled onto his back to see what it was and to try to kill it, but he realized that it was Celestia and Luna, both whacking him with their wings. "What the fuck are you doing?!" he yelled.

Luna whacking him one last time. "You can't abandon your friends! You need to wake up!" she yelled at him.

Orion dodged away from Celestia, jumping to his feet and gave them a cold glare. "I can stay in here as long as I fucking want to," he seethed.

They both stepped forward.

He stepped forward and got in their faces, literally coming nose-to-nose with Celestia.

"You need to wake up," she told him sternly.

"No, I don't," he responded, just as sternly.

"Your body is dying," she said.

"The Force can sustain me for almost a year," he shot back.

"Your friends are worried about you!"

"Oh yeah? What friends?"

"Roland, Sharpe, Pinkie, Twilight, Applejack, and all the others!"

His eyes narrowed. "They aren't my friends," he growled.

Celestia's gaze softened. "... We're your friends, Orion. We're worried about you. Please, if not for yourself, but for us, wake up," she pleaded.

Orion glared at her for a while longer before pulling his head back and scoffing at them.

"You've been in here for two days Orion," Luna said. "We're scared."

Orion looked at her and he spoke. But it wasn't this Orion.

"You don't know what fear is," Orion said in a haunting voice.

They all turned to see Orion. But he was made of flickering shadows and his smile and eyes glowed pure white. There was an air which swirled around him like a vortex, creating a deep sound, like a roaring fire. "You've never experienced real fear, my dear Luna."

"What are you doing here?" Orion asked the shadow Orion angrily. "Shouldn't you be massacring a village somewhere?" he asked sarcastically.

The shad- You know what? Let's just call him "Shadow".

Shadow laughed an echoing laugh at them. "I heard we had guests. I only wanted to meet them," he told them.

Luna and Celestia both looked to Orion.

"What is he?" Luna whispered.

"He's every last bit of anger, hate, evil, etc that's inside of me. All concentrated in one ball of fuck-all," he said.

Shadow came closer to them, not really moving, so much as gliding at them. "Would you like to see what fear really is?" he asked them.

Orion stood in front of them. "Back off, you dirty fuck!" he yelled.

Shadow glided through him and looked Luna in the eye. "This... is fear."

There was a second of silence.

Luna's eyes turned red as blood vessels burst and her ethereal mane and tail fell limp against her body. Her coat went a pale grey color. She rasped in a single breath as she fell over, unconscious.

"Luna!" Celestia yelled.

"Get out of here! Take her and get out!" Orion yelled.

Celestia looked at him.

"I'll be right behind you," he said, not looking at her.

Celestia wrapped Luna in her mane and lit up her horn. In a flash of light, she was gone.

Shadow pulled back and looked Orion in the eye. "So, it's just you and me again."

Orion smiled at Shadow. "Good thing you didn't kill her. That would've been awkward," he laughed.

Shadow smiled wider and nodded. "Indeed. Well, I'll be off then. People to kill, cities to burn and all that," he said.

Orion nodded to Shadow as he dissipated into the air, leaving a smell of burning flesh behind him. He shook his head, chuckling. "That man is going to be the death of me." Orion blinked.

***

Orion blinked.

"You're awake," Celestia sighed in relief.

Orion sat up in his bed. He stretched as he groaned. He scratched at his goatee as he looked at Celestia.

She took a step towards him. "Are... Are you feeling all right, Orion?" she asked.

Orion smiled stupidly at her. "I'm hungry. Do we have any cookies and milk? Ooh! Do we have and Cookies & Cream ice cream?!" he asked, his goofy smile widening.

Celestia's face fell and tears came to her eyes. She came to him and wrapped him up in a tight hug. "Oh, Orion... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Please, please be okay," she whispered into his ear. She pulled away and kissed him on the forehead lightly before hugging him again.

Orion felt the tears fall on his shoulder. Why was she crying? Did he do something bad? Orion smiled and hugged her back. "Mmm, you smell vanilla," he said stupidly as he licked her neck.

She shuddered and pulled away from him.

His smile dropped a little bit. "Aw, you don't taste like vanilla. Oh well!"

The tears kept falling.

Orion's smile disappeared completely. "Don't cry, Tia. Whatever I did wrong, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I made you cry..." he said sadly.

Her tears doubled as she hugged him again. "Please Orion, stop it! You didn't do anything wrong, the world did! You're absolutely perfect just how you are... Please, stop this and be happy again..."

Orion pulled away and looked at her with a goofy, confused smile. "I am happy."

Deep down, Celestia could feel a part of herself die.

A Message

The Princess was sitting on her throne, picking her talons with a small, sharpened piece if bone. It was the leg bone of a pony. Bleached white and purified. Her talons weren't particularly dirty, but it passed the time. Time that could be spent elsewhere, doing things that she actually enjoyed. Like fighting in the arena, or skinning peasants.

She wasn't your typical princess, to say the least. Her father was a warrior King, always leading the charge into battle. Her mother was a battle archer in the army. One of the best actually. That's how she met King Grey Down. Together, they fought in more battles during their lifetime than any other country had in its history.

This is how she went missing. They got separated during a charge on one of the most dangerous enemies they had ever faced, the Wyverns. They were a lot like dragons, only with two legs instead of four and had much larger wings. They weren't very intelligent either, only knowing enough to enslave lesser creatures to build enormous temples for them and speak basic languages.

Needless to say, they lost the battle. And the war. But what took her father the hardest was when her mother went missing. Her body, her bow, her sword, her armor, it was never found. There was nothing to even indicate the she ever existed besides the King's grief and their two children. Herself, and her half-wit brother, Talon.

Speaking of Talon... He was an idiot. She hated him with every fiber of her very being. He got all the attention, all the love, all the praise, all the females...

Yes, the Griffon Princess was a lesbian. Well, not lesbian, per say, but she did prefer females. They were less... messy, during mating. This might be why her father disapproved of her so much. Her mother never minded. Heck, she even congratulated her on being herself without fear of ridicule! But not father, no... He said that it was disgusting. He said that it was an "abomination". In truth, the only reason he didn't disown her is because of her mother.

The Princess finished the current talon, glaring at how perfectly clean it was. She moved onto the next talon, trying to forget about how much she hated her family.

The doors to her personal throne room banged open loudly, permitting at least twenty guards to enter, led by the general of the Griffon Imperial Military, Hawk Eye.

The princess tensed, not sure why someone like him was here. The last time she saw him, he was there to haul her of to basic training. Also know as the worst two years of her life.

Hawk walked up to the foot of the throne briskly, bowing before her in respect. That's odd, he's never bowed before... "My princess, I bring you grave news," he said in his usual deep, gravelly voice.

The princess sat up straight in her throne. "What is it?" she asked him.

He looked her straight in the eye. "Your father and brother are dead, your highness," he told her.

She looked at him oddly. Father was dead? Talon, yes, she could see that. But father? "What happened?" she asked in a slightly choked voice.

His eyes narrowed slightly. "An unknown creature murdered your brother and assaulted his mate. When your father tried to avenge him, the creature... killed your father." It was almost like he didn't believe the words leaving his beak.

The princess stared at Hawk Eye for a long time, not sure what to say. "What... do I do now?" she asked him.

A ghost of a smile touched his beak. "You are in charge now, my Queen. And as your general, I recommend you take immediate action against this creature."

Queen? Queen?! What the heck?! "I'm... Queen now?" she asked.

Hawk Eye only nodded.

The princess didn't say anything for a long time. But, after that time, a smile slowly crept across her beak. "We'll do what you say, Hawk. Make sure this creature pays for killing Dad," she said. Queen Gilda. Yes, she liked the sound of that.

***

Orion, Lily, Megan, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Applejack were sitting in a well-furnished room eating lunch. The others were in different parts of the caste, doing whatever it was they were doing, so the friends all had this moment together to talk and joke.

"So, Orion," Applejack started. "What kind o' work do ya do out in space?" she asked.

Orion shoved a piece of muffin into his mouth and answered. "Ah a meha'wey, wowor, ah a ki'her! Pluh a bu uh uh'er ings!" he "said" happily.

Applejack looked at him oddly. "Uh, ya might want to chew yer food first, before answerin'," she said.

He swallowed the muffin an repeated himself. "I'm a mercenary, robber, and a killer! Plus a bunch of other things!" he said.

Rainbow Dash spit out a mouthful of drink and Applejack's mouth dropped open. Poor Fluttershy yelped and hid under the table.

Megan looked at him. "Since when are you a merc?" she asked.

He shrugged "I kill people and take their money, so I'm getting paid for it, right?"

She shrugged. "Eh, works for me," she said, uncaring.

Applejack shook her head. "Well... what do you do, Megan?" she asked.

She shrugged. "I don't really kill people, but I do some fighting. I mostly just support the group however I can, you know?" she said.

Applejack nodded slowly. "Uh huh... An' what about you Lily?" she asked.

Lily took a delicate sip her drink before answering. "I don't really like to fight, so I heal the group. I know a lot of medical sciences and I know how to use the Force to work for healing."

Fluttershy came up from under the table. She looked at Lily with a small smile. "I know a lot about taking care of animals and how to fix them up," she said. "Maybe we can teach each other new ways of medicine, um, if that's okay with you, that is."

Lily smiled at her. "Sure. I like learning new medicine."

Rainbow Dash coughed into her hoof. "So... How long how you three been together?" she asked with a sideways glace at Orion.

Lily "eeped" as her face turned a deep crimson color. Orion and Megan looked at each other oddly before breaking out into laughter.

"H- he's got nothing with m- me!" Megan laughed.

Orion shook his head slowly at Rainbow Dash. "We were never together, and we never will be," he told her. He reached over and hugged Lily tightly. "Gotta keep it professional, y'know?" he said, licking Lily's earlobe.

Her blush reached her neck and she quickly pushed him away and ran out of the room.

Fluttershy gave him a disapproving glare as she chased after Lily.

Applejack gave Orion a cold look. "Why'd ya do that?!" she demanded of him.

He looked at her strangely. "Do what?" he asked.

She narrowed her eyes. "Embarrass her!"

Orion looked around himself. "Who...?"

Applejack leaned over the table at him. "Lily! Ya embarrassed Lily!"

He looked into the empty seat next to him. "But, she's not here..." he mumbled.

Applejack growled at him. "'Cause ya scared her off!"

Orion took on a withered look. "I did? But... How?"

Applejack only groaned and rubbed her temples with a hoof. "Just... forget it..."

Orion smiled stupidly at her. "Forget what?" he said.

She glared at him.

He winked conspiratorially at her.

She groaned loudly and left her seat, trotting out of the room angrily.

There was a silence in the room as Megan and Rainbow Dash looked around the room awkwardly as Orion continued eating his muffins.

"Mmm, I like muffins. Muffins are good," he moaned.

Rainbow Dash laughed. "You sound like Derpy," she said.

Orion looked at her, a crumb falling from his face. "Who's Derpy?" he asked.

Rainbow chuckled "She's the mailmare in Ponyville. Kinda clumsy, but she's harmless enough."

Orion tilted his head at her. "Does she have a deep, aching love for muffins that burns in her very soul like a lovers fire? Consuming all around it, using everything it can as fuel to make the want, the need, stronger? Never ceasing even for a moment, always getting stronger for the both of them as they share in their passion? Exploring each other in euphoria, blissfully aware that in the other's eyes, lies their souls, carrying on only for their love."

Megan looked at him with an slack jaw.

Rainbow blinked at him.

Orion bit into his muffin and hummed in delight.

"What the hell was that?" Megan asked in wonder.

Orion looked at her. "What was what?" he asked.

Rainbow waved her hooves at him. "Everything you just said! That!"

Orion took on a look of confusion. "I said something?" he asked them both.

They looked at each other with tired expressions.

"I'm leaving before I go insane," Megan said. She then stood up and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Rainbow Dash shook her head at Orion like he was an idiot before she realized something. Something very, very scary. She was alone in the room with Orion, a crazy, sadistic, killer.

Her eyes narrowed slightly and she smiled wickedly.

And if the talk of the castle was anything to go by, a darned good lay as well.

Orion stuffed an entire muffin into his mouth and swallowed it whole.

"So..." Rainbow said casually.

Orion didn't look at her. He only kept eating. Those muffins were good, man.

Rainbow coughed into her hoof.

Orion took a sip of his fruity drink, stuffing the little umbrella into his hair.

Rainbow coughed again, louder this time.

Orion bit into an apple, crunching it up in his mouth. Mmm, Juicy!

Rainbow put both front hooves on the table, tapping it lightly.

Orion bit into what must have been his fifth muffin.

Rainbow huffed in annoyance. "Hey, Orion, I was wondering..."

He looked up at her with his goofy smile.

She looked into his face. It was unnerving. She didn't know why. He was smiling at her, happy at her. Why was she so scared of his smile? "Uh... I was, just... wondering if... you were, okay is all..." she said lamely.

His smile straightened slightly and his eyes flashed. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said.

Looking at him was a challenge now. It was like he was tearing her open with his eyes. Those eyes... They were like pools of black, reflecting everything around them. "W- well, that's good. Uh, I was... also kinda... wondering if, uh... you know..."

His smile straightened itself out completely and his eyes glowed softly. He put down his muffin. "Yes, Rainbow Dash? What is it?" he asked. His voice was like cold water on her spine.

Rainbow actually started shaking. Her breathing came hard now, hardly filling her lungs before it escaped her body. There was a pressure on her like a hundred pounds of water was keeping her down. She couldn't even stop herself from saying it. "Rut me!" she barked at him. Her cheeks turned red and she instantly covered her mouth with her hooves. Her wings would have been there too, but they were sticking straight out, stiff as boards.

Orion's eyes glowed brighter as he stood. He slowly walked around the table towards her. trailing his fingers along the wood.

Rainbow felt a pounding pressure in the air around her. She wanted to gallop out of there, to escape! But... she wanted him more. He was right behind her now, breathing on her stiff wings. She shivered as he trailed a finger from the base of her tail to the nape of her neck, ever so slowly.

"So, you want me to do, what exactly?" he breathed.

She squirmed around in her seat, a light heat building someplace indecent. "I- I want you to... grtr hmm," she said.

He leaned in closer to her, his head right next to her ear. "What was that?" he asked quietly.

Rainbow Dash put one of her hooves between her legs, covering herself from him. "I want you to... rurt hme..."

One of his hands snaked its way across her stomach, going directly for her private spots. "One more time."

She took in a shaky breath. "I want you to rut me! Screw me! Plow me! Fuck me silly until I can't stand anymore! Please, for the love of Celestia, just fuck me!" she screamed. She gripped his hand and forced it into herself, gasping at the feeling.

Orion pulled his hand out of her and slowly teased her lips, making her moan heavily. "Only if you ask nicely," he told her.

She took in the best calming breath she could and spoke in a controlled voice. "P- please, rut me senseless," she asked of him.

Orion hummed in thought for a second before answering her plea. "Hmm... Sure, why not?!" he growled. He used his untasked hand and grabbed Rainbow's neck roughly and slammed her into the table.

She yelped in surprise and pain from this. She heard the sound of cloth and buckles for a few seconds. Then she felt it. A prodding from behind. She tried to turn her head around to see what was going on, but from his grip she couldn't see much. He prodded her again, making her bite her lower lip. Only the tip was entering her, but it was enough to stretch her out.

He laughed darkly. "I hope you're as tough as you think you are," he said.

She wondered what he meant for a second before she felt it. The prodding had moved to her plot hole. "N- no, wait! It won't fit!" she cried.

He pushed forward violently.

***

Mavis cringed away from the book, unconsciously clenching her bottom tightly. She shook her head in sorrow for Rainbow Dash as she continued reading...

***

... She screamed. Very, very loudly. Tears fell from her eyes as she bit her teeth into the table top, making small marks in it.

Orion laughed as he pulled back out slowly.

She took in a shaking breath. "Ow..." she breathed.

Once Orion was only tip deep, he pushed back in, making her whine in pain once more. He did this repeatedly, pushing himself into her roughly until he couldn't go any further, then pulling out to the tip and pushing back in. He didn't do this fast, but he could still appreciate the tightness.

Rainbow was crying. She had bit into her hoof to stop herself from screaming again, and now she could taste blood. There was pain. So much horrible pain. But then again... it was a good pain. After he had loosened her up, it felt... weirdly good. Like, really good! It still hurt, but the pleasure was overwhelming the pain.

Orion pushed himself in particularly hard.

Rainbow Dash moaned. She covered her mouth with both hooves, blushing.

Orion chuckled and released her neck. "I figured you might like it rough," he growled in between thrusts.

She arched her back and looked at him. "Sh- shut up..." she said through her teeth.

The door opened.

"Hey, I heard some screaming an-"

They both turned to see Seth standing there with a shocked look on his face.

"Uh..." Seth said.

Rainbow Dash's face turned red.

Orion lifted her up, so that he was holding her in the air, her belly facing Seth. "Hey Seth!" Orion said with a stupid smile. "Want some?" he asked.

Rainbow turned her head around and gawked at him. "What?! What are you doing?!" she yelled.

Orion ignored her. "She's really tight. I almost couldn't get in!"

Seth took a second to process the information given to him. He leaned his sniper rifle against the wall and started power walking towards them, unbuckling his belt. "Oh, hell yeah..." he said, mostly to himself.

Rainbow tried to squirm away from Orion, but impaled as she was, she failed. "No! Let me go!"

Orion grabbed her sides hard. "You asked for this," he whispered into her ear.

Seth came up in front of her, smiling lustfully. "So, I'm taking the front?" he asked.

Orion tilted her, forcing himself into her deep. She couldn't help but moan slightly. "Yeah, I'm already in the back."

Seth smiled wider. "Cool."

Rainbow tried one last time to get away. "No! Wait! I'm not-"

They both rocked their hips at the same time, Seth forcing himself into her front, and Orion deeper into her back.

Seth wasn't as tall as Orion. He wasn't as big as him either. But still, he was pretty big in Rainbow's eyes. Well, not eyes, but... Oh, you know what I mean!

She groaned out, her head falling back against Orion's chest.

At first, they fumbled to find a good rhythm. But after a few tries, they had a system going where they would both push into her at the same time, making her moan with each thrust.

Rainbow was having a good time. No, she was having an amazing time. The two of them were making her feel like she had never felt before. Sure, she had been with some pretty good stallions. Heck, she'd even been with Big Mac once! But this? This... This was a new level of amazing. Both of them inside of her, mashing her pleasure buttons. Making her moan. Making her scream. Wait, scream? Yes, she was screaming. She screamed as her first orgasm flooded through her.

Seth picked up the pace, slamming into her as fast as he could. He felt her walls trying to milk his member dry, and he was all too happy to oblige them. "Good... fucking... GOD!!!" he growled. Then... release.

Rainbow Dash was still cumming when she felt the ropes of Seth's cum shooting into her. She put both of her hooves on his shoulders as she flopped onto his chest. Her own orgasm was over, but even still, he was pumping his seed into her. Never before in her life had she felt so... full! It was truly awesome.

Seth pulled out of her and leaned back against the table, breathing hard.

Orion pulled out of her back. He then slammed into her front.

BY CELESTIA'S BEARD HE IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!

Orion growled loudly into her ear as he brutalized her marehood. He then did something that scared her. He opened his mouth and bit down into her neck, making her yelp in pain. But to Tartarus with the pain! She was in Heaven!

"Oh, Celestia! Yes! Yes! Yes! Please, let this last forever!" she screamed into the air.

Orion let her fall forward, getting an angle to go deeper into her.

The second he touched her womb, she came again. She screamed again as she lost control of her body. She felt hands on her face. After a second, her eyes could see straight again and she saw that Seth's stiffness was right in front of her face. She didn't even get to protest.

Seth bucked his hips forward, ramming himself down her throat. Literally, down her throat.

her eyes rolled back in her head as she was orally assaulted. The tip going far past the back of her mouth and down into her throat. Her middle was hanging down low, only her back end and her head being supported. She didn't care about this though, only the two wonderful, wonderful men making her feel so complete.

Seth groaned as she reflexively swallowed.

Rainbow had the capability to smile. She used her tongue to stroke along his member, massaging the underside and the tip. She even took a second to fiddle with the small hole on his tip.

Seth groaned with every breath he took, increasing his pace once more. He was actually meeting her muzzle with his hips, pushing against her nose with every forward thrust.

Rainbow struggled to breathe as he went faster. He was close again, she knew. While she prepared to take him in her mouth, Orion sped up his assault on her as well. Then, it happened. Again, Seth sent burst after burst of hot seed into her. Only this time down her throat and not into her cunt. The thought of her swallowing it all. Having his seed filling up her stomach... She came again.

Orion felt her walls trying to milk him, and he let them. He yelled loudly as he emptied himself out inside of her. Not all of it could fit in there, and some ended up slopping to the floor.

She could feel her stomach bulging outwards from the sheer volume of it all. It hurt, but she could hardly feel it over the feeling Orion gifted to her. She felt the last of his essence come out of his member, and she popped her mouth off of Seth's member to compliment him.

But Orion wasn't finished, oh no.

She was lifted back up into the air as Orion pounded into her again, still rock hard. She could feel herself getting close to another orgasm, and welcomed the feeling with open legs. It didn't last nearly as long as before, but it was so much better. He came in and out of her so fast and so hard she could hardly breath from how much force was being sent through her body. She came again.

Orion pushed into her one last time, partially forcing apart her womb entrance. He came inside of her, just as much as before. Filling her up to the bursting point and letting her overflow and leak.

Rainbow slumped against Orion's chest as she caught her breath. The few precious seconds she got before Orion started on her again probably saved her life.

She felt him moving out of her slowly at first, then he started pounding into her again, just like it was the first time. Still hard, still rough, still one hundred million percent amazingness. It lasted a short time, but by Luna's Moon, it was a great time. She was filled up for a fourth time in one day. And even though she really liked Seth, she absolutely loved Orion.

He pulled out of her, letting her fall to the floor and land on her her bottom. "So, get what you wanted?" he asked her with heavy breaths.

She curled around his leg, hugging it. "It... It was... the best... ever," she breathed out slowly.

Orion chuckled darkly. "I hope you're not tired out Rainbow, because I'm just getting started," he warned.

Rainbow used what strength she had left and look up. She saw that he was barely breathing hard and was still stiff and ready to go.

Seth laughed from behind her.

She turned and saw the same scene she had with Orion. He was still hard, and he was leering at her hungrily.

As much as she loved it, the thought struck her that this may not have been the best idea she ever had.

***

Luna was trotting through the marble halls of the castle at a hurried pace. It had been over an hour since it had happened, and she still couldn't find him! Where was he?! Did they already get him? Was he dead? Were they dead? Was Canterlot city burning as she thought?!

She passed by a window and looked outside. No fire. No burning. No death.

She shook herself mentally. No, if anypony short of a dragon fought him they would be obliterated. But still, where was he at?

She turned a corner and slowed her pace. "Where are you?" she asked the air around her. She needed to find him. The threat they received was too great to be ignored.

A chittering squeal from behind her made her screech in terror.

She turned around and saw a small, green creature wrapped in stained brownish-green robes with armor strapped on top. It had its ever-present mask on, making the insectiod face even more unnerving. Its bulbous fly-like eyes staring into her. It carried a few weapons with it, besides its gear.

She looked around nervously. "Um... Hello, creature," she said carefully.

It chittered at her loudly, making her skin crawl.

She looked around once more, hoping that another of the alien crew was around to help her understand the thing in front of her. "Um, I'm sorry, but I don't understand you. I can't speak your language."

The thing nodded its head slowly, rubbing its chin. After a while, it snapped its fingers and pulled out a flashing piece of metal and plastic. It ran its fingers over the surface for a few seconds before it spoke again. After it finished, it held out the pad to her.

She levitated it in front of her and was surprised when she could understand the language written. Who are you looking for? She gave the creature back the device and spoke. "I'm looking for your friend, Orion. Do you know where he is?" she asked it.

It chittered and clicked into the pad once again before letting her read it.

No, but Applejack does. She was around the barracks last I saw her.

Luna gave the pad back and nodded to the creature. "Thank you, my friend," she said before trotting away.

Faiz saluted her as she went. When she was around the corner, he dropped the stance shook his head. He clicked. "What a stupid bitch."

***

Luna turned the last corner and saw her destination. The barracks. She strode around the place, looking for the farmer pony. Why she was at the barracks, she didn't know. But what she did know was that Applejack knew where Orion was.

"Yeehaw! Get him! Hit him with the hook! Whoo-ee!"

Luna cocked a brow and walked around the back of a building to where the voice was coming from. The sound of cheering and yelling met her ears. She turned one last corner and saw a crowd of guards, both Day and Night, surrounding Sharpe. She also saw over three dozen guards laying unconscious on the ground.

"Come on you pussies! You haven't even hurt me!" Sharpe roared at them.

A group of five guards came at him. And five punches later, those guards were on the ground, sleeping.

"I've killed little kids that put up more of a fight than you!" he yelled.

"Get 'em, Sharpe! Ge- uh, what?" Applejack asked from a bench nearby.

Rarity was watching with interest, leaning forward on the bench as he fought. She always did like the bad boys...

Twilight was sitting on the ground next to a stack of papers almost a foot tall. "This is absolutely amazing! I've never seen combat like this before!" she said, scribbling on yet another piece of paper.

Almost two dozen guards came at him, fully intending to kill him.

It took Sharpe less than ten seconds to beat them all into the ground.

"This is combat?" Sharpe laughed. "I thought they were trying to give me a kiss!"

There were now over sixty bodies around the bounty hunter, and less than twenty still standing.

Two pegasi tried to rush him while an earth pony snuck up behind him and a unicorn blasted him with lightning. The result was Sharpe using the earth pony as a shield from the lightening, then picking both pegasi out of the air by their wings and pummeling the unicorn with them.

"C'mon, this is getting boring!" he jeered.

"So, who was dumb enough to bet against Sharpe?" Luna asked Applejack.

Applejack looked at Luna with a happy grin. "Everypony bet against him except us!" she said.

Luna snorted with laughter and watched the carnage, forgetting why she was looking for Applejack completely.

Half a dozen pegasi and two unicorns rushed him. The unicorns lifted him into the air while the pegasi rammed into him.

The first pegasi who hit him bounced off like he was made of rubber. The second pegasi did the same, only he went in head first, so, yeah...

After that, Sharpe pulled out a small grey orb from a pouch at his side. He tossed it to the hooves of the unicorns.

They both looked at it for a second, not sure what to think.

Then everything exploded into light and sound.

The pegasi all fell to the ground and stayed there, feeling like if they moved they would throw up. The unicorns were even worse, actually throwing up.

The remaining guards, which was about ten or so, charged forward. The charge ended quickly.

Sharpe pulled the first two off of the ground and slammed them bodily into another earth pony, downing all three of them. He caught a pegasi by the tail and used her own momentum to throw her face first into the wall of a barrack. The unicorn was grabbed by his horn and thrown into the sky, where he then feel back down to the ground, landing with a crunch and breaking his leg. Two more earth ponies jumped on his back, but Sharpe just fell over, effectively crushing them.

Three were left. A pegasus mare, a unicorn stallion, and an earth pony stallion.

Sharpe laughed at them. "Is this it? This is all that's left?"

The unicorn spoke up. "W- well, yes, but-"

Sharpe hooted in laughter, making everybody cringe. "You know what? I'm going to make this a little less pathetic. I'm not even gonna use my hands," he said.

The earth pony smirked and charged. He was then round house kicked in the face, sending him flying sideways.

The unicorn tried to blast him with a bolt of lightening, but Sharpe dodged around it and jumped into the air. The unicorn's back made a horrible sound as Sharpe came down on top of him.

The mare hovered uncertainly in front of Sharpe as he leered at her.

"Well, are you just going to float there hoping I'll die from your cuteness?" he asked her.

She blinked. Then she blushed and looked away.

Sharpe smiled, knowing his plan had worked. He rushed forward, seeing that she was looking away. He opened his mouth as wide as it could go.

She saw this and tried to get away at the last second. She was too late.

Sharpe clamped his mouth down on her, his teeth holding her in place. He had her up to her chest, only her forelegs and her head sticking out of his mouth.

her eyes widened. "No... please..."

He smiled around her. He then bit down hard and violently shook his head, mauling her horribly. As he did this, she screamed in pain and horror, much like the first mauling victim. Although, unlike the first time, he stopped before she passed out.

Her blood dripped out of his mouth and feathers and bits of flesh were stuck in his teeth. She weakly fought against his jaws, but it was like trying to force apart steel. She looked back at him, tears in her eyes and a pitiful expression on her face. "Please don't eat me," she begged, her breath coming in short gasps. "I'm sorry I fought you! I'm sorry! Please don't kill me! Don't eat me, please!"

Sharpe mumbled around her body. "You taste so good," he growled.

She had a mental break down, right there in his mouth. Screaming and crying and blubbering like an idiot.

It made him smile. He opened his mouth and tilted his head back, letting her slide further down his throat. He bit down again and swallowed, her tail going down first. He chomped on her further, only half of her legs and her head sticking out still.

"No! Nononononono! No, please!" she screamed at him.

He chomped again, leaving only her horrified face peeking out of his mouth.

"Enough, Sharpe! Spit her out!" Luna yelled, rising from her seat and abandoning the horrified ponies that were next to her.

Sharpe looked at her, the mare in his mouth looking at her with a pleading expression. "I haven't eaten all day," he complained, biting down on her a little harder.

Luna glared at him. "Spit her out, now," she demanded.

Sharpe let her slide another inch down his throat. "What if I kill her first? Can I eat her then?" he asked.

The mare screamed out again, making a pitiful sound.

Luna ignited her horn and took a battle stance. "If you do not release her, I will have to kill you," she threatened. She knew he would kill her, but she had to try.

Sharpe looked at her for a long time, running his tongue over the mare's face, which made her cry even harder.

Luna's horn got even brighter as she readied herself.

Sharpe made a gagging sound. He made it again, louder this time and the mare started to slide out of his mouth. First her head, then her chest, then her stomach. But Sharpe clamped down once again as her flanks were coming out, securing her backside fully in his mouth.

Luna glared at him. "Let her go, Sharpe! Now!"

There was a second of silence.

Then the mare started to scream again. She put both of her forehooves on Sharpe's face, trying to pry herself free. But she couldn't break his grip on her.

"Sharpe!" warned Luna once more.

The mare moaned loudly.

Everybody- except Sharpe- looked at her oddly.

She squirmed around in Sharpe's jaws, doing... something. A low whine escaped her lips. A whine that increased into a loud, long moan of pleasure. "Oooooohhhh, yes! Ooohh, sweet Celestia yes! Don't stop! Don't stooop! Don't... STOOOOOOP!!!!" at her last screamed, she fell limp in Sharpe's jaws.

He opened his mouth and let her fall to the ground. Something other than blood leaked through his teeth.

Luna looked to the unconscious mare, snoring lightly on the ground with a small smile playing at her lips. Even though she was bleeding from... everywhere, she looked peaceful. Luna looked at Sharpe. "What did you do to her?" she asked.

He smiled and hissed at her quietly, flicking his long, reptilian tongue at her.

A droplet of clear, sweet-scented liquid landed on the tip of her nose. She looked at it for a second before her eyes widened. She furiously wiped away the fluid on her face. "Oh, ew! That's disgusting Sharpe!" she said, very unprincess-like.

He only laughed his very disturbing laugh and walked off into the barracks area.

"Did- did he just do what I think he did?" Rarity asked from behind them.

Luna turned to them and nodded slowly. "I... think so." She turned to a very disturbed Twilight Sparkle. "Twilight, can you fetch a medical team?" she asked her.

Twilight shook herself and stared at the princess. "Uh, what? Oh! Yes! Medical team, right away princess!" she said as she galloped away.

Luna looked at the two remaining ponies on the bench. Didn't she have something to... "Oh, Applejack, I had a question for you," she said.

Applejack looked at her with still-wide eyes from what she had witnessed.

"Where is Orion?" she asked with complete seriousness.

Applejack's eyes narrowed slightly. "Last Ah saw, he was with Rainbow an' his friend in one of the meetin' rooms," she said.

Luna's eyes went wide. "You left him with Rainbow Dash?" she asked quietly.

Applejack nodded. "Yep, is that a-"

Luna got in her face. "You left him unattended with a friend and Rainbow Dash?!" she yelled.

Applejack cowered back slightly. "Uh... Yes? I don't see th-" She stopped talking. She just now realized where she had gone wrong. Oh, so horribly, horribly wrong.

***

Luna and Applejack sprinted through the halls. They had long ago lost Rarity, her not being the running type. They stormed around a corner, knocking over what they thought was Celestia as they went.

"Sorry, sister! It's an emergency!" Luna called behind her.

Down the hall they went, turning corners, knocking over guards and other castle workers. They even slammed into Larry at one point. They weren't sure, but they thought they heard him start crying when they sped off.

"There!" Applejack said as she nodded her head towards a door on the left hoof side of the hall.

They skidded to a halt at the door.

Luna flung it open with her magic. Too hard, actually. The door swung back closed.

But they both saw the color white, everywhere. They looked at each other in fear.

Luna opened the door again, very slowly. She heard Applejack break into a fit of coughs, gagging slightly. Heck, she almost gagged herself.

Inside the room was Rainbow Dash. She was laying on the table, her whole body streaked white, covering her in what could only be one substance in the world, most of it being on her face or around her nethers. She was currently being attended to by Orion, who was half naked and standing between her back legs. She was completely unresponsive to anything he was doing, doing a very fine job as a ragdoll.

One of Orion's friends, Seth, it might have been, was laying on the floor passed out half naked.

In one corner of the room were three castle maids. One of them was attending to herself while the other two watched Orion lividly.

As they watched, Orion pushed into her harder than normal, growling like a rabid dog.

Rainbow's stomach bulged outwards and she moaned softly.

Orion pulled out of her and turned to face his new guests. "Hey guys!" he said happily, his goofy smile adorning his face. He wrapped his hand around his still-stiff member. "Want some?" he asked. And almost as if on cue in some kind of poorly written story in an attempt at comedy, a long rope of cum shot out of his member and hit Luna, square in the face.

***

After a length and very, very uncomfortable explanation involving Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Luna, Celestia, and of course Orion, the latter three were sitting in a posh room with a small table in the center of it.

Applejack had to help Rainbow Dash to the hospital, where she was being treated for multiple bone fractures and light internal bleeding as well as mild temporary brain damage from lack of oxygen. She couldn't feel anything in her whole body, and she could barely speak. But from what she did say, all of the nurses made sure that a stock of birth control pills was at the ready and waiting, same as them.

Seth was also in the hospital, being treated for a concussion. He apparently hit his head pretty hard when he fell.

They saw Keil when they were in there. He was strapped down with a straight jacket and a muzzle. He had apparently tried to attack a doctor, but got a broken jaw and two broken ribs in the process.

They also saw a very smug looking young little mare attending to his injuries.

But anyways...

Luna, Celestia, and Orion sat in the room.

"So, when is the waiter gonna get here?" Orion asked, looking around the room expectantly.

Celestia sighed. "Orion, we can get you some food later, but for now, just focus on what I'm telling you," she said seriously.

Orion looked at her. "But I'm thirsty!" he whined.

"I can understand that," she said, blushing a little. Non-stop for three hours?! Jeez... "But this is incredibly important."

Orion looked at her with his goofy smile and nodded. "Okay!"

Celestia lit up her horn and focused her magic on the table. The table split in half, revealing a hidden compartment underneath. There was a lumpy shape under a red-stained cloth.

"Orion..." Celestia started.

Orion reached forward and yanked the sheet off. It was Jake. There were large slash marks in his clothing, and cuts and bruises over his body. A long, wicked knife was shoved deep into his chest with a note attacked to it, stained red in some places.

"I found him just outside the castle grounds through my telescope. There was a lot of blood around him, but none of it was actually his. I- I'm sorry..." she said sadly.

Orion stared at the corpse of his friend for a long time. Minutes passed. An hour. Two hours. The whole time he just stared unblinking into the dead eyes of his friend, still wearing his goofy grin.

The two sisters were starting to get very uncomfortable. He was just sitting there, staring. He hasn't even blinked the whole time.

Luna spoke. "Orion, I'm sorry for your friend. Please, say something," she said.

Orion slowly looked up at them.

They flinched away from him.

His smile was impossibly wide and his eyes showed their reflections perfectly. His smile was perfectly straight and normal. His eyes flashed brightly at them. "Who did this?" he asked in a perfectly calm, perfectly even, perfectly reasonable tone of voice. "I want to talk to them."

Author's Note

I hate myself for writing the scene with Rainbow Dash, but I'll admit to wanting to do a lot more with Sharpe and his meal. Maybe in a future chapter...

Ah Want Da Pie!

Give us the murderer by sundown, or you will all die.

That was the message pinned to Orion's friend. That's what was echoing around in his mind as he walked through the halls looking for his friends.

"Orion, you need to calm down," Celestia warned him.

Orion continued walking. "I am calm," he said happily.

Celestia reached a wing out to halt him, but a spike of pain went through her mind, making her stumble.

"I wonder where my friends are..." he mused aloud. He turned another corner of the halls, bumping into a familiar maid.

She looked at him in in surprise from the collision, but soon smiled at him warmly. "Orion!" she greeted, standing on her back legs so she could hug his middle. "How are you?" she asked as she pulled away.

He smiled down at her, his goofy smile widening. "I'm okay. I had ice cream!" he said loudly.

She looked at him a little oddly, still not sure about his seemingly random statements. "Well, that's good! I'm glad to see you again," Silver Platter said to him.

He put his hand on her head and ruffled her mane as he beamed at her. "Hey, do you know where my friends are?" he asked her.

She smiled at him lovingly. "I saw Roland talking to... Sharpe, was it? They were in the dining hall with some of the castle's other guests."

Orion slowly rubbed her head, making her eyes flutter in pleasure. He looked at her for a few minutes before pulling her bodily into a tight hug. He kissed her lightly on the mouth before staring into her eyes. "When this is over, we're going on a vacation to the land of Cookies & Cream! When we get there, we can go to the water park and sunbathe! After that, I'm gonna buy a new ship and we can look for the Angels! Want to come with me?" he asked, almost as if he had made perfect sense.

Silver looked a little confused but nodded her head. "Uh, sure Orion. I'd love to go!" she told him.

He smiled and set her back on the ground. "Cool! I'll pick you up at your place at seven. Be sure to wear that red dress that I like," he said before walking down the hallway once more.

The princesses looked at the maid strangely for a time, her not feeling entirely comfortable under their gaze.

"Was that some sort of code?" Luna asked.

Silver shrugged helplessly. "If it was, I have no clue what it means..." After a few seconds longer, she coughed lightly and went back to doing her job.

Celestia and Luna both felt a headache forming in the back of their skulls and moved to catch up to Orion. Why, oh why, must he talk like that? They weren't sure if it was him trying to communicate in his own way, if it was a riddle, or it was just gibberish. The best decision was probably to just accept it without too many questions, like they did with Pinkie Pie.

It took a bit of quick trotting on their part, but they soon caught up with the strange Human. They were only a few minutes from the dining hall and decided to pass the time with Eye Spy. Or, at least Orion did.

"I spy with my little eye, something... invisible!" he said.

Luna sighed. "I've already told you, I don't want to play."

"I'll give you a hint! You can't really see it, but you're actually looking right at it," he said cryptically.

She raised a brow at him. "How is that a hint? It only made it harder!" she complained.

He laughed at her and tapped the side of his nose with a finger. "You see me but you don't see me, you look at me but you don't look at me, I'm clear as day, but invisible to all. With me your are searching, without me, you are lost. What am I?" he said, grinning back at them.

They looked at each other briefly before looking at him oddly.

"That was... a surprisingly brilliant riddle Orion," Celestia admitted slowly. "I have no idea."

Orion laughed. "How 'bout you, Luna?" he asked.

She bit her lower lip in thought for a while before groaning quietly. "I don't know," she sighed.

He laughed again. "It's your eye!" he said, poking his finger into his eye and pushing it to the side slightly.

"How? You can't see your eye!" Luna accused.

He shook a finger at her from over his shoulder. "You look out of your eye, looking through the front, but not seeing it. Your eye is so clear, that it's invisible. You're always looking for something in life, trying to find your purpose, but without your eyes, you're blind. I came up with it just now, actually..."

Celestia blinked at him. "Orion, has anyone ever told you that you're a genius?" she asked him seriously.

He looked back at them, beaming. "Yeah! My mom always told me that I was smart!" he said cheerily.

She chuckled lightly. "Well, she is a very smart woman."

"Was."

Celestia looked at Orion, seeing his shoulders tense up a little bit. "Oh, I'm sorry. What happened?" she asked.

Orion turned around with his maniacally straight smile and a glow in his eyes. "I raped her then forced her into the oven and cooked her alive! She was sooooo good..." he moaned with his tongue hanging out slightly.

Luna tripped on her own hoof.

Celestia coughed loudly, choking on her breath.

Orion looked back ahead and kept leading them to the dining hall. He was humming a quiet tune, nodding his head to the beat.

***

After the very awkward walk to the dining hall, Orion pushed open the doors and saw a scene that almost made him laugh.

Roland was arguing with what looked like a mixture of twenty different animals, its main body structure being serpentine. While the thing looked on in mild boredom, Roland was red in the face and jabbing a finger into the air at it.

Sharpe was showing his rifle off to Applejack and Twilight, telling them everything it can do and how it works.

Applejack looked slightly confused, while Twilight was scribbling down notes faster than should be possible, the quill only a blur of purple magic and red feathers.

Fluttershy was watching in awe as Lily made a small cut in her finger, then healed it with the wave of her hand.

Rarity was in a half-interested conversation with Faiz. Him speaking to her through his datapad and her responding halfheartedly while casting glances at Sharpe.

Orion smiled hugely. "Why wasn't I invited to the party?!" he yelled at them all.

Everybody in the room turned to him with mixed expressions, ranging from curiosity, to rage, to disinterest.

He walked into the room with the two princesses following him closely. He sat down next to the thing Roland was talking to.

"Well, hello there," it said. It was clearly male from its voice. "And who are you? Hopefully somebody more interesting than him?" it said, jabbing a lion thumb at Roland.

Orion waved at him, smiling broadly. "Hi! I'm God!" he said.

The thing raised an eyebrow at him. "God? God of... what exactly?" he asked.

Orion smiled wider, holding his arms out to his sides. "Everything!" he said.

The thing smirked at him. "Oh really? Can you do this then?" he said, snapping his fingers together and summoning a hat. He then pulled a rabbit out of the hat, then pulled a hat out of the rabbit, then pulled the same rabbit out of that hat.

Orion shook his head. "No, but I can do this!" he said as he held his hand up to the being.

Everybody looked at the pair. Nothing happened.

"You... can hold up your hand?" he asked in confusion.

Orion's smile straightened out as he stared deeply into the thing's eyes.

It flinched. "Uh... why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

Orion just kept staring.

It's breathing picked up and it started sweating. "No, really. What are you doing?" it asked, a tone of worry entering its voice.

Orion stared harder.

It leaned away from him, eyes widening. "What are you doing?!" it demanded.

Orion closed his hand into a fist.

It took in a gasping breath as it clutched at its chest. It flailed about, trying to swat away the air around it. It slammed its head on the table, pounding its fist into his head, groaning. "Stop it! Stop! Cut it out!" he yelled.

Orion started twisting his fist. "Okay!" he said happily.

With every twist, the snake-like being thrashed about harder, knocking into the table and the walls, as if trying to break away from something.

Orion relaxed his hand, releasing the creature.

It crashed to the floor, breathing heavily with wide eyes. It looked at Orion, something resembling fear in its yellow eyes. It raised its talon and snapped, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Orion turned back to the table. "So, I have some news for everybody," he told them, his goofy smile returning.

Twilight spoke up. "What... did you do to Discord?" she asked.

Orion cocked an eyebrow at her. "What's a 'Discord'?" he asked.

She pointed a hoof to where the being had just been. "Him! The one you... attacked..." she said.

He looked at her in confusion. "I attacked somebody?" he asked her.

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but was stopped by Applejack.

She shook her head at her. "Trust me, let it go," she said tiredly.

"What's this news?" Roland asked him cautiously. The last time he said that...

Orion beamed at him. "We're going to have loads of fun!" he yelled.

Roland, Sharpe, Faiz and Lily all rubbed their face with their hands.

"Who are we at war with now?" Roland asked tiredly.

***

After a long explanation- in which Celestia had to remind Orion to skip the part with Rainbow Dash- They all sat quietly in the room. None of them really knew what to say to this news.

One of the crew was dead. This hasn't happened since, well, Orion. The crew sat at the table with somber looks about them.

Sharpe was mulling over whether or not he should go and kill them all right now. He could do it, he knew. But, he might have just enough trouble with it that it could end up killing him. A whole nation? If it were the ponies, he could do it without much problem. But these griffon things... They were a race of warriors, all of them knowing how to kill. And to do it efficiently.

Roland was rubbing his chin softly, working out hundreds of strategies for basic and advanced tactics in his mind, trying to come up with the most effective way of dealing with this new threat. He knew that they could just go storm the nation's capitol, but that would leave the ponies pretty much defenseless.

Lily was crying softly, saddened that one of her friends was dead. This had never happened before, not really. Orion had died, but they saved him. But now... they weren't able to save Jake. She's the group's medic, but even she can't heal dead.

Faiz just sat there, his insectiod face not capable of showing much emotion through his fly eyes and his breath mask.

The ponies all looked saddened, not used to death. Sure, they knew it was a part of life. But somepony who was killed? Like this? They could fell the dread resting in their hearts, weighing them down. They could only imagine what the others must feel like.

Finally, Roland spoke up. "Lily, go with Faiz and tell the others what happened. Me and Sharpe'll come up with some kind of plan. Hopefully, we won't have to actually go to war with them. But... I don't find that a likely outcome."

Lily wiped away her tears and nodded at him, rising from her seat and leaving the room with the bug creature behind her.

Sharpe slung his rifle on his back and stood, looking to Roland. "You're the soldier. What do you think is best?" he asked him in a grave voice.

Roland shook his head slowly, shrugging. "I don't know. They're probably the best fighters on the planet. They can fly, they're strong, they're smart, they're ruthless..." He sighed, looking to Sharpe. "We don't have the proper equipment to fight them. If they're as bad as I think they are, the body count here'll be astronomical. It would be best if we took the fight to them as quickly as possible, but leaving here'll leave the ponies open for an invasion." He sighed again. "It'll be a slaughter..."

Applejack spoke up. "Hey! Now you just wait one minute there, partner! We might not be warriors, but we can fight!" she yelled at him.

Sharpe turned to her, giving her a look that chilled her bones. "Can you willingly look another in the eye, knowing that he's only following orders given by the true enemy, and kill him? Can you kill somebody who wants nothing to do with war? Somebody who has a family? Friends? Kids? Somebody who's only doing it because he has to?"

Applejack stuttered for words, but gave up after a short while.

Sharpe shook his head at her. "Then you're of no use here. You and your friends should get someplace safe until we handle this," he said.

Celestia stepped forward, drawing their attention. "You are guests here. And as we are still looking for a way for you all to leave, I will not let you risk your lives. My sister and I will deal with this, while you and the Elements of Harmony find safety," she said sternly.

Roland gave her a hard look. "It's our fault for being here that this happened. We will not let your people suffer for our mistakes," he replied, just as sternly.

Celestia narrowed her eyes at him. "I will not allow it," she said dangerously.

Roland's already hard gaze hardened some more. "We aren't citizens of this country, therefore you have no say over our actions, whatever they may be," he said just as dangerously.

Her glare intensified. "I can lock you all up for attempted treason."

Roland's eyes looked like they were made of iron. "We can break out."

She leaned forward, placing her hooves on the table. "I'll send an army after you."

Roland looked at her for a long time, working his jaw from side-to-side as he thought.

Celestia smirked as she raised a brow at him. "Well?"

Roland lost the glare, instead giving her a distant look. "We would be forced to perceive you as a future threat and as such, we could not simply ignore you. At the very least, you and your sister, along with the Elements, any other royalty, nobles, and any and all fighting forces would be put out of commission. The worst case scenario resulting in the death of any previously mentioned parties or individuals, and a new party forming some kind of governmental system to rule over the resources that were once owned by the deceased," he informed her, almost as if he had rehearsed the words, having said them many times before.

Celestia eyed him angrily. "Is that a threat?" she hissed.

Roland looked her dead in the eye. "No, your majesty. It's a warning."

There was a dead silence hanging in the room as the two stared into each other's eyes, unblinking.

After almost a full minute, it was broken by Orion. He clapped loudly, startling them both into blinking. "Wow, dinner and a show!" He leaned closer to Twilight and whispered loudly. "Is this a great restaurant or what? We should bring your sister and the kids next time."

She looked at him oddly. "I don't have a sister..."

***

Outside in the courtyard, Roland was briefing the remainder of the crew as to what their mission was.

The Elements of Harmony- minus Rainbow Dash who was still recovering- were listening in at a respectful distance off to the side.

Celestia and Luna, as well as a very uncomfortable number of heavily armed guards, watched from the far side of the courtyard as this happened.

Celestia wore a very irked expression as well as furrowing her brows at that darned Human. "I don't see why he can't simply listen to me!" she vented towards her sister, who rolled her eyes. She had heard the same thing for almost ten minutes now. "I only want him to be safe! I know that he and his friends can fight, but they can't fight an entire country!"

Luna gave an exasperated sigh. "Sister, you don't know that," she said tiredly.

Celestia glared at her sister. "And just how do you know that?" she growled out.

Luna sighed again. "Because Sharpe defeated nearly a hundred guards with only his hands, not even breaking a sweat."

Celestia eyed her sister, but said nothing.

Luna continued. "Orion battled King Grey Down, the slayer of Hazze, the conqueror of lands, the blah blah blah, etc etc, himself, and won, without even using his weapons."

Celestia's glare lessened, and her brows evened out.

Luna still spoke. "I haven't seen Roland fight, but I can already guess that he's just as skilled, if not more so than either Sharpe or Orion! And with the others supporting them, I have my doubts that they would fail in their task," she concluded, wrapping a wing around her sister. "Tia, if anypony in existence could fight a country by themselves and come out victorious, it would be them."

Celestia closed her eyes and let out a heavy breath. She then looked at her sister lovingly. "You're right Luna, I'm being foolish. Thank you for being blunt," she said to her sister.

At that moment, a movement made by Sharpe caught their attention.

Sharpe unslung his rifle faster than they could perceive, took aim, and discharged it into a nearby tree in one fluid motion, scaring off multiple birds. And also dropping a small griffon wrapped in camouflaged armor onto the ground with a large hole in her wing.

***

They all stared at the young griffon as she grit her beak in pain, holding her wing tightly with her talony hand.

Sharpe stared at her, his rifle still at the ready. He figured she was young and stupid from her behavior, but not this young...

"What is your name and rank, as well as your purpose for being here?" Roland asked her as he strode up to her, only a few inches from her.

She looked up, and up some more. She knew he was big, but up close... Wow! Just... Wow! "Uh-"

He leaned forward, looming over her. "That isn't an answer, soldier!" he roared.

She instantly shot to her feety, talon-paw things and saluted him. "Sorry sir! I am Private Wingy, fourth scouting platoon, sir!" After a second, she blinked. Wait, what just happened...?

Roland got in her face even more. "Don't make me repeat myself, Private! What's your business here?!" he roared, veins sticking out of his neck and forehead.

She went stiffly at attention once again, her training instincts kicking in once more. "Sir, I was given orders by Commander Arrow to gather as much intelligence on you and any other strange creatures in this area, sir!" she yelled back in response. She blinked again, annoyed at herself at what she had just done for a second time. She frowned at herself for this reason.

"What's going on here?!" the voice of Celestia demanded from behind him.

Roland turned to her with a frown on his face. "We're being watched. Sharpe got this one, but there could be more out there," he told her.

Celestia nodded to him as she strode up to the griffon spy purposefully. She stared into her eyes as the griffon girl cowered beneath her. "How old are you?" Celestia asked her.

The girl, Wingy, looked up at her with fear plain on her face. "S- sixteen, your highness," she said fearfully.

Celestia's stare instantly softened. She sighed. "One as young as yourself shouldn't be in the army," she said sadly.

Wingy bristled. "I'm old enough to fight!" she yelled indignantly.

There was a breeze behind the griffon.

They all looked to the source to see Orion standing in what had once been empty space a second ago.

He beamed at her brightly. "You have an awesome name!" he exclaimed as he leaned towards her too closely, making her lean her head back away from him. "Do you know where my friend is? He went missing a while ago and we can't find him," he said worriedly.

Roland and Celestia gave him an odd look, but kept quiet.

She looked at him oddly. "Uh... No? I don't, sorry," she said as she tried to back up, but bumped into Roland.

Orion came closer to her, pressing his forehead against hers. Orion reached out and took hold of her face on either side, staring disturbingly hard into her eyes. His eyes widened even further and glowed softly as his smile straightened itself. "You're really pretty. I don't want to have to play too rough with you and accidentally kill you. I'll ask one more time, then I'm going to rape you, beat you, rape you again, skin you alive, rape you again, slow roast you, jack off as I listen to your screams, eat your heart, then send your head to your family after I fuck your skull and fill it up with my cum. If I were you, I would tell the truth," he said cheerily, never once blinking or wavering in his gaze.

Celestia almost puked from his words.

Roland's eyes widened, never having heard him say something quite this dark.

Wingy's eyes widened to the point of almost popping out of her head. She actually started crying and whimpering, stuttering and blubbering for mercy, begging for her life to be spared.

Orion's smile widened to the point that his lips actually cracked and a small amount of blood made its way into his mouth and down his chin . He leaned his head right next to her ear, whispering so quietly that she had to strain to hear him. "Where's my friend?"

She spoke in a whisper, her voice choked from the fear. "They said they killed him. But I didn't do anything, I swear! They only told me after they got back!" she said, her voice pleading a silent message of mercy.

Orion pulled his head back and stared into her eyes hard enough to mentally hurt her. "Okay!" he said happily. His eyes returned to normal, and his smile became silly once more. He stood back up and grinned at her. "I already knew that, but thanks for telling me the truth! C'mon, lets get some pie!" he said loudly as he ushered her away from the group and out of the courtyard.

Celestia and Roland stared blankly at the place where they exited the courtyard for a short time.

Celestia eventually looked at Roland. "Should we be worried?" she asked him seriously.

Roland sighed and rubbed his face with his hand. "Worried about the girl? Yes, very much so. Worried about Orion? Yes, even more so now that he's loose in the city with the girl."

Celestia's eyes narrowed at him. "Shouldn't we be stopping him then?" she asked angrily.

Roland deadpanned at her. "Do you want to be the one who tries to take away his plaything?" he asked her.

Celestia looked back to where they exited once more. "Should we just wait and hope for the best?" she asked him, unsure what was best.

Roland nodded slowly, looking back to the exit area once again as well. "That's what we normally do in these situations."

They were quiet for another short while before Celestia spoke again.

"Do you want to come back inside and get something to drink?" she asked him.

Roland nodded slowly. "Yeah, I would very much like that."

***

Orion and Wingy sat in a very upscale diner in Canterlot Heights, waiting for a waiter to service them.

Orion was humming a strange tune and nodding his head to the beat.

Wingy was fidgeting in her seat, half wanting to sprint away as fast as she could. But she somehow doubted that she would make it very far. So instead she settled for sitting uncomfortably in a booth by the window, glaring at any ponies that gave them odd looks.

After what felt like an hour, two snobby-looking ponies came up to the table and gave them both filthy looks.

"I'm sorry," a light grey stallion with a silver mane and tail said in a posh and nasally voice. "But we don't serve your kind here. You'll have to find somewhere that suits your class of living to eat."

Wingy was about to chew him out, but Orion interrupted her.

"What do you mean, 'class of living'? Do you only serve zombies? Ooh, or maybe vampires! Do you serve zombie vampires?! Zompires...?" he asked the stallion, beaming at him excitedly.

Wingy couldn't help but laugh at him for acting like this.

The stallion glared at him coldly. "No, sir. We don't serve low class garbage like you!" he growled.

Orion looked him dead in the eye, his smile straightening.

The air around them felt a hundred pounds heavier. All the background noise was silenced. The air rippled, making everything blurry. Except for Orion.

Orion leaned towards him slightly, his smile still present. "You're going to let us eat here. You're going to give us our food for free, out of the kindness of your heart. You're going to apologize and beg our forgiveness while on your knees. You're going to love having us here, and you're not going to stop smiling until we leave." The air around them pulsed, actually creating the sound of a heartbeat. "Do you understand me?" Orion asked calmly.

The two ponies stumbled a bit, but fell to their knees, bowing their heads at him. "P- pl- pleas- se, pl- please f- for- give m- me! I- I- I'm s- sor- ry!" he said, barely understandable over his terrified stuttering.

And like it was never there, the pressure left them, everything returning to normal. "Meh, I'll think about it," Orion said uncaring, looking through a menu that wasn't there a second ago.

The two stallions then galloped off, heading towards the back room as fast as they could.

Orion tapped a finger on the menu for a bit. "Hmm... I can't decide. Do you think I should have the lemon cheesecake, or the blueberry pie?" he asked Wingy, looking at her over the menu.

Her eyes were wide as she stared at him in renewed fear. "Uh... I was thinking about the cheesecake..." she said slowly, not really sure what else to say.

Orion nodded at her, smiling. "Hmm, well, how about I order the blueberry, and we can cut each plate in half and mix them up?" he mused aloud.

It took her a second to break her focus on him to answer. "Uh, yeah. That sounds good to me," she said. She then rotated her shoulder, wincing at the pain as she tried to sit more comfortably.

Orion looked at her worriedly. "Are you dying?" he asked. "If you are, can I have your body?"

She raised a feathery eyebrow at him. "Why do you want my body?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I want to fuck you," he said like it was a reasonable thing to say to her face.

She broke into a fit of coughs, choking on her own breath.

He leaned over the table, eyeing her excitedly. "Are you dead yet?" he asked hopefully.

Once she caught her breath, she looked at him with a glare, her feathers doing nothing to hide her blush. "No! I'm not dead! And I won't be dying anytime soon!" she yelled at him.

He looked at her in confusion. "Then why were you all 'ohh, ahh, ehh, eee' right then?" he asked.

She looked at him in annoyance. "In case you're blind, I have a big hole in my wing! I probably won't be able to fly for a year..." she finished sadly.

He waved a hand at her and rolled his eyes. "Oh, pftb, that!" He leaned across the table and poked his fingers into the open wound. There was a soft blue glow, then he pulled his hand away from a perfectly healed wing.

She looked at her wing in disbelief. She stretched it out, looking at the whole thing, making sure that it wasn't some kind of trick. After a while of close inspection, she pulled her wing in and stared at him in awe. "How... How did you do that?" she asked in a wonder stricken voice.

He tapped the side of his nose with his forefinger. "I'm God," he said cryptically.

At that moment, a waiter cautiously approached them, a notepad in his magical grip. "W- what c- ca- can I g- get you?" he stuttered.

Orion slammed the menu down on the table. "Ah want da pie! Gimmie da blueberry pie!" he yelled, attracting unwanted attention from the other diner's patrons.

Wingy looked at the waiter with disdain. "I'll take the lemon cheesecake, you little wuss! And be snappy about it!" she barked at him.

He nodded jerkily, quickly scribbling down their orders.

Normally, Wingy would have been respectful in these kind of situations. But being around Orion made her feel somewhat invincible. Speaking of the Devil... "Hey, Orion?" she asked.

He looked at her happily. "Yeah?"

She used a talon to scrape the table, feeling the awkwardness building with each second of silence. "Uh, well... I just wanted to ask... Why did you, y'know, spare me? Not that I'm not grateful! Because I totally am! Honest!"

He smiled a little wider at her. "We're friends! And friends don't kill friends! It's in the rules!" he said, smiling happily at her.

A second later, the waiter came back with their food. He put it on the table, and soon bolted back to the kitchen.

Orion smiled happily and cut his piece of pie in half, placing the half-slice on her plate and taking half of her cheesecake. He mixed the two of them up and then proceeded to shove the entirety of his meal in his mouth, not even chewing it, rather, letting it sit in there. He hummed in delight, his eyes fluttering in pleasure.

Wingy used her fork to mix the deserts a little, making what looked like what was left in a toilet on burrito night. She eyed it uncertainly before eating a small bite. Her eyes widened in surprise. Even though the two didn't look like it, they combination was amazing.

Author's Note

I almost want to keep her around just because of her name. Honestly, how cool is Wingy?! Also, I may or may not add the OC tag to this story. If I end up keeping her in the story, I'll have to.

Sexy, smexy, or schmexy?

Roland and Celestia were in her quarters, drinking a very unhealthy amount of grade-P whiskey- "P" standing for "Princess"- and sharing old stories. It has been somewhere around two hours now, and they are both quite drunk. Naturally, when one of the immortal goddesses are drunk, they get help from their sibling, and lay down to sleep it off and deeply regret drinking in the morning. And, also naturally, when Roland gets drunk, his friends usually haul him off someplace quiet until he sobers up. He may be a nice enough person normally, but once that burn hits his senses, rage flows through him as naturally as blood does any other person.

Celestia was swaying back and forth as she recounted her dealings with the creature Discord, a light blush on her face and her mane and tail slightly frizzled. "An' ssssso we went af'fer 'im... aaaaannnnnnn' we turned 'im t' stone! Aaayyyyyyyyeeeeeee... tha' we did..." Hey, nopony said the princesses were pretty when they're drunk.

Roland was laughing good naturedly as the story progressed. He was seven bottles deep, and there were still plenty more to go. He was out of his armor as he sat crookedly on her bed with her, wearing only a loose white T-shirt and black soft cloth pants with a pair of leatheris boots. "Ye, he gotted wha' he desvre... desrevr... Got..." he finished eloquently.

Celestia raised a hoof to her mouth, spilling the contents of her bottle on her bed. She snorted out a very unprincessy laugh at Roland. "R- Ro- Rolalololaloooo... Rololeee... Screw it. Human male, you're drrrrrrrrunk! I... think... that you've... had... enough... to drink!" she said with a certain degree of trouble.

Roland scowled at her. "I... am not... drunk," he said angrily. "You! You're drunk!" he yelled at her, jabbing a wavy finger at her.

She looked offended by this gesture of disrespect. "You accuse me of being drunk?!" she asked, aghast. "How dare you insult me with your... your... uh..." She tapped her hoof to her chin while Roland watched her with a not-quite-so-intelligent expression. After a few seconds she threw her hoof into the sky and shouted. "Aha! I have it! You stupid person thingy!" she yelled at him, pointing the previously raised hoof at him.

Roland gasped in shock at what she said. How could she?! That kind of insult... Them were some fightin' words right there those were! He slapped her hoof away and lunged at her, tackling her to the soft, cushy, and not-at-all-unforgiving bed. "Take that back you... You meanie! Take it back or I'll... I'll... uh..." He made a very concentrated face as he thought of the worst possible thing that somebody could do to somebody else. After a few seconds he smiled stupidly.

***

Somewhere in the city of Canterlot, Orion got a chill in the back of his head. He stopped for a brief moment, pondering what had just happened.

"Hey, is something wrong?" asked his traveling companion, Wingy.

He looked at her with his usual goofy grin. "I think somebody just thought about me," he said strangely.

***

Anyways...

Roland smiled at her stupidly. He leaned his head closely to hers and whispered in a somewhat-threatening voice. "I'll get Orion drunk and lock you in a room with him for a full day," he said to her. He pulled his head back and took in her horrified expression.

Celestia's mouth was gaping open, not able to close itself from the amount of sheer horrible images filling her mind. "No..." she whispered hoarsely.

Roland nodded his head clumsily at her, jabbing his forehead on her horn once. "Oooooohhhhhh, yesssssss... An' I'll make s- sure tha' everyone hears..." he said, stumbling over a few letters.

Celestia looked at him for a few seconds, taking in everything he just said.

Roland looked at her, staring into her fearful eyes.

They both stared at each other for a few seconds, not saying anything.

Then...

Celestia leaned up and forcefully pressed her lips to Roland's.

Roland kissed her back just as hard, pressing her head back down on the bed.

For what felt like hours, they shared each others taste, Celestia's tongue battling Roland's own for dominance. Eventually though, Celestia gave in, letting someone else take control for once.

Roland's tongue explored her mouth thoroughly, not leaving any surface, crevice, or tooth go unlicked. He pulled away from her and stared into her eyes deeply for a time. "You're beautiful," he said quietly.

Celestia gave him a hard look. "Oh, just shut up and fuck me!" she demanded of him.

He smiled widely and saluted with one hand still propping him up above her. "Ma'am, yes ma'am!"

***

Orion was bored. And a bored Orion is an annoyed Orion. And an annoyed Orion is a dangerous Orion. And a dangerous Orion... heh, well, let's just say that you don't want to be near that.

Really, you've been doing this the whole time! Who the hell are you talking to?!

I told you, the audience.

What fucking audience?!

The one reading this story.

What story?! What are you talking about?!

Dude, stop yelling. you're giving me a headache.

I'll stop yelling when you tell me who you're fucking talking to! I don't even see an audience! I don't see any stories! I only see that griffon you ate with and the city around us!

Oh, thanks for reminding me. I was being distracted by your yelling. Anyways, back to the story...

Orion and Wingy walked through the upper-class sections of Canterlot city. Yes, the whole city was upper-class, but this was the upper-class, upper-class. Oh, and don't even get me started on the upper-class, upper-class, upper-class... They are really a pain in the ass.

Don't you fucking ignore me!

Orion and Wingy passed a small shop selling lingerie. There were mannequins- well, ponyquins- in the window wearing some very interesting attire. Including lacy, leathery, and feathery things. And some that were made of all three!

Orion pressed his face up against the glass, squishing his nose slightly and making a smear mark of some kind on the once-clean window. "ooooooohhhh, we should go in there..." he said in an awed voice.

Wingy donned a disgusted look. "Uh, how about, no." She was clearly uncomfortable being seen looking at this shop. The eyes of the ponies around them seemed to see nothing else but the strange being and the griffon kid ogling the sex shop. They were just staring at her... judging her...

Orion-

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, you! Yeah, you! Don't you fucking ignore me! I want an answer god damn it!

Ugh, fine. But let me finish this chapter first, okay? After I finish, I'll tell you everything you need to know, but only if you stop interrupting me. Honestly, it's getting really fucking annoying.

What do you mean "chapter"?

I'll tell you after I'm finished! Deal?!

Fine. But you better tell me everything...

I will. But for now...

Orion walked into the sex shop, completely oblivious to Wingy's discomfort.

She stood there in the snow, not sure if she should follow him in, or fly off. He did fix her wing, so she could get away... She could feel the eyes of the snooty equines on the back of her head. She sighed after a few seconds of contemplation, deciding it was for the best to just go with the flow for now. After all, he did fix her wing... Dang it! Now she was letting herself like him! This is everything she shouldn't do!

She walked into the shop, the entrance bell jiggling loudly above her, announcing to anyone inside that she was there. She was immediately assaulted by the smell of rubber, a soft pink light, quiet music, and the whirring sounds of pleasant th- No! Not pleasant! Unpleasant things! Yes, unpleasant things!

She walked down a row of dildos, vibrators, and dildo vibrators. All ranging from about four inch butt plugs, to veiny monsters that were over a foot long. The other side of the aisle had the exact opposite. Rubberized cunts of every size hung from small hooks. Some vibrated, some spun in circles, some clenched and unclenched, and some did... other things. Wingy had to force herself to look at the floor when she laid eyes on a male dildo that was shaped like an ass with Luna's Cutie mark on it.

It was a surprisingly accurate model...

She turned a corner and bumped into an overly-buff earth pony stallion who eyed her suspiciously.

He spoke in a gruff voice. One that suggested years of smoking. "How old are you?" he asked her.

She looked everywhere but at him. "Uh... I'm eighteen," she lied, very convincingly. "Why do you ask?"

He rose a brow at her. "Eighteen, huh?"

"Yep!" said a cheery voice from their right.

They both looked to see Orion with too many items under his arms to use in two lifetimes.

"She's eighteen alright! I wouldn't be fucking her every night if she wasn't," he said, not in the least bit serious.

Wingy blushed even more than she already was and the stallion looked at the weird thing in front of him.

Wingy spoke up hesitantly. "Uh, yep. We do it. All the time. Every night. It's, uh... awesome," she finished lamely.

The stallion looked between the two of them. Then he eyed everything Orion was carrying. "You buyin' all that?" he asked curiously.

Orion nodded like an idiot. "Yep! Sure am!" he said as he walked up to the counter and plopped down everything he was holding. The weight of everything made the small counter creak. "Hold onto that, I'm not done with the magically enhanced stuff yet," he said as he walked off to the back of the store, leaving the only two other living, breathing things in the shop very much alone with each other.

The stallion worked his jaw back and forth for a while before making a show of staring at everything that wasn't Wingy.

Wingy, on the other hand- er, hoof? No, uh... paw? No, they have talons on their front half...

Wingy, on the other talon, was staring only at the ground in front of her, nodding her head slowly to the soft music playing the store. Counting the cracks in the concrete floor was a thing that required music to do, you know.

The stallion started sifting through the items on the counter, making sure that everything was where it should be, and straightening out what was in the slightest bit crooked.

Wingy coughed quietly while busying herself with the thirties.

"What did you say?" the stallion asked quickly, snapping his eyes to her.

She quickly looked at him and spoke in a rushed voice. "Uh, I didn't say anything."

The stallion leaned back over the counter a little bit. "Oh, uh, yeah. I uh, thought you, uh, said somethin'..."

She looked to the side a little. "Uh, nope. Nothing..."

He chuckled slightly. "Oh, okay then... I, just thought..."

She scratched at her neck. "Nope. Uh, nothing..."

He nodded slowly, pursing his lips a bit as he tried to relax.

She shuffled her, uh...

She shuffled her walking limbs a bit and ran her tongue over the tip of her beak.

They music stopped, skipping on a low note that was just the right tone to be annoying, but only just.

The stallion waited for a few seconds before starting to slowly move towards a door behind the counter. "I, uh, gotta, y'know..."

Wingy looked at him with exaggerated interest. "Oh, yeah. Of course, go ahead..."

He slowly backed into the room, smiling a grimace at her. "Yeah, uh... Don't you go stealin' nothing'!" he lamely joked.

She let out three soft laughs as she nodded her head slowly. She flashed him a strained smile. "Yeah. Wouldn't... uh... I, won't..."

He pressed his lips together and smacked them once, his eyes running over everything before he nodded once more and disappeared behind the door.

Wingy let out a soft breath as she saw him disappear.

Like a bat out of Hell, Orion sprinted up to the counter, tore his backpack open, and stuffed everything inside of it, along with another two armfuls of whatever else he got. The backpack was small, and even a tenth of the stuff he put in there shouldn't have been able to fit, but it all did, somehow. Once everything was in it, he zipped it up and sprinted out of the store as fast as he could. Honestly, he would impress even the Wonderbolts with how fast he was going.

Who the hell are the Wonderbolts?

I thought you said you'd hush up!

Sorry! I jus-

No! Shush!

Okay!

Shush!

The moment the doors jingled closed, the shop owner came out of the room.

He and Wingy both stared at each other in silence. Him not sure what to think, and Wingy horrified about the situation.

After putting two and two together, he took on a furious expression. "Wha-"

Wingy turned and shot out of the store. "Bye!" she screamed as she flew out the door at top speeds. She flew out of the shop and down the street for at least a mile before she dared to stop. She flared her wings to slow her speed and hovered over a small house. She was breathing hard, not from the flight, but from the exhilaration of what had just happened. She looked around herself to see if there were any guards coming after her, but saw none. She did see, however, that Orion was sitting on a patio bench a little ways up the road from where she was now perched.

She didn't even think about flying away as she flew lazily towards him. She landed next to him and watched with interest as he dug through his backpack and cackled evilly.

The backpack was only about half the size of his torso, but as he dug in deeper, he fit his entire body inside of it, all the way to his waist. He came back out after a second, holding what looked like a stick of dried meat- yes, griffons eat meat, that's why she knew what it looks like- that was about four inches long, wrapped in red plastic. He tore it open with his teeth and, to the horror of Wingy, consumed the entire thing without even chewing it. His whole body shuddered and he groaned quietly for a second before the shakes stopped and he continued digging though the backpack.

Wingy looked at him in a mixture of horror and disgust. "What did you just eat...?" she asked nervously.

He came out of the bag, causing a few items within it to pop out as well, and smiled at her. "It was a magically enhanced stick of jerky. Apparently, the pig they butchered was fed nothing but growth hormones that made its cock bigger! So, in theory, it was supposed to increase the size of my dick! Not that I need it, but I just want to see if it works."

She heard this and smirked at him. "Yeah, of course. It was just a test," she said sarcastically.

He looked at her with an excited expression. "Hey! Check if it worked yet!" he said, too loudly. He stood up and quickly pulled off the bit of armor on his crotch.

Wingy took a step back. "What are you-"

Orion cut her off. "It said 'grows right before your eyes'! Is it growing?!" he asked excitedly.

And right before her eyes, the biggest piece of male-meat she had ever seen flopped out of his armor and hung between his legs. And sure enough, tiny bit by tiny bit, it pulsed with his heartbeat and grew in size with every pulse. She could feel something inside of her, some... untamed instinct, screaming at her. Making her want to tackle this piece of meat to the ground. Making her want to force herself on him. Making her whole world solely about making Orion hers. She opened her beak to speak. "... Wow..."

Orion looked down and examined himself. He took on a slightly annoyed expression. "What the hell? It barely grew!" he yelled. He grabbed himself in his hand and stuffed himself back inside of his armor, placing the crotch piece back on and securing it firmly. "I'm never shopping at that place again, I can tell you that for sure," he said grumpily as he went back to digging in his backpack.

She shook her head, causing the pounding blood to dissipate and flow elsewhere, where it can actually help her body. She looked on the ground at one of the items that fell out of his backpack and picked it up. She held it in her talon and read the front of the packet.

It read: The fun has been doubled!

She looked at the back, and only saw a winking unicorn stallion with two mares on either side of him. She turned the packet back over and stared at the small blue pills it contained. What could these pills double...? Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. She tossed the packet back inside of the backpack, shaking her talon violently to rid herself of the feeling of cardboard and plastic. "Oh, gross! That's just wrong! Ew, double ew, and triple ew!"

Orion looked to her with his usual goofy smile. "No, these are just the doubles. I have the triples in here somewhere..." he said as he dug deeper down.

She shook her head at him. "No! No thanks! I don't want to see!"

He stuck his entire torso into his backpack once more and yelled out. "Aha! Here it is!" He then came back out holding a leather hat with a small red feather sticking out of the side. He smiled happily and put the hat on, pushing his hood down. It actually looked rather silly, but in a good way. He stood up and struck a heroic pose. "What do you think? Sexy? Smexy? Schmexy? What?" he asked her.

She just stared at him for a long time.

He turned to her with a disheartened expression. "you hate it, don't you...?" he asked sadly.

She immediately snapped to attention. "No! I love it, really!" she blurted out, not really thinking about what she said.

Orion pulled his hands up to his chest and beamed at her. "Yay!" He then reached out and pulled her into a crushing hug. "I love you best friend!" he said in a slow voice.

She choked and gagged on her own throat. "Orion! You're crushing me!" she coughed out.

He dropped her and turned to his backpack. Stuffing the hat back inside, he zipped it up and slung it back on his back and pulled his hood up again. "C'mon, let's go find someplace to chill out for a while," he said in a surprisingly serious voice.

Unfortunately, Wingy was too busy hacking up what was left of her lungs to really appreciate this fact.

***

After about twenty minute of walking- half of which Wingy was fighting to stay alive- they found a moderately classy hotel. Well, for Canterlot, that is. They walked inside and were awed by the interior.

Plush red carpeting. White marble pillars and walls. Brilliant stone carvings. Beautiful paintings, statues, and tapestries. Candles that glowed a soft red color. And a giant chandelier hanging above the main lobby.

Orion walked right inside, tracking snow, mud, and other muck along the once-pristine carpet. He ignored, or simply didn't see, the upper-class citizens giving him filthy looks as he made a beeline straight up to the desk. Once he got there, he- for lack of a more "proper" term- molested the calling bell.

It took only a few seconds for a desk operator to appear, but Orion kept on ringing.

Eventually, the mare put her hoof on Orion's hand to stop him from ringing the bell anymore. "Can I help you?" she asked with a voice so sweet it might give a fat person a hard on.

Orion beamed at her. "Hi! I want a room with a really big bed!" he shouted at her. He leaned in very close to her. "I got my girlfriend here and I'm planning on fucking her until neither one of us can stand straight," he "whispered" loud enough for the entire lobby to hear him.

Behind him, a certain griffon teenager felt her ears burn in embarrassment.

The deskmare gave him a disgusted look. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," she said angrily.

Orion smiled at her. "Okay!" he said.

They stood there, watching each other for a full minute.

The mare blinked at him. "Well?"

He tilted his head to the side. "You still haven't asked me to leave yet," he said helpfully.

She took on a look of confusion for about a second before she realized what he was talking about. "Leave," she growled.

Orion stuck up three fingers. "Two things!" he yelled loudly. "That was a statement. No. You're not very nice. And I demand proper service!" he said, concluding his four-part rant.

The deskmare blinked at him again.

He waved his hand in front of her face. "You want to give us your very best room," he said calmly.

She twitched a few times, but eventually reached below the desk and retrieved a large key.

Orion snatched the key out of her mouth and sniffed at her. "I should have your job for this," he said in a stuffy accent. "But I'm feeling generous today. Now, off with you! You're dirtying my air." He then stiffly marched down the hallway with all the grace and dignity of a headless chicken in tall grass.

On the way to their room, Wingy kept looking everywhere there was some kind of ornately carved object, or a wonderfully decorated wall. A few times she saw a snobby pony that made the walk worse, but the scenery made up for it tenfold.

Eventually, they reached the end of the hall. At the end was a large set of wooden double doors with so much gold and jewels that it was a mystery how they didn't rip their hinges out of the wall. They walked into the room and locked the doors behind them.

The room was magnificent. The same plush red carpet was on the floors, white marble on the walls, but more shinierific, candles that gave off a soft red glow, a chandelier hanging from the center of the room, and there was even a minifridge!

Orion walked over to the room's one enormous bed and dropped his backpack on the ground near the foot of it. "Ermahgerd!" he yelled as he stretched out his body, getting at least a dozen loud pops from his joints. He then face planted on to the bed, messying the once-tidy sheets and blankets. "Aaahhhhh... It's so good to be on vacation, eh Wingy?" he asked, his voice muffled from the plushness that was the bed.

Wingy was wandering around the room, ogling anything that was gold, silver, jewel-encrusted, or in any way valuable. "Huh? What?" she asked distractedly.

Before she could really think about what he had said, Orion pushed himself off of the bed and walked over to the large wardrobe. He undid the clasps and tethers that held his armor together and pulled it off. When he was done, all that was left was... a man. He didn't look like Orion. Or, at least, not the Orion that Wingy had gotten so used to. He was wearing a loose black shirt and sagging black cloth pants. He wasn't smiling, or happy, or cheerful. In fact, he just looked... tired. Not tired in a sleepy kind of way. But tired in a way that somebody gets when their very souls ache from how much they've been through.

Wingy saw this and couldn't help but think that there might be a bit more than insanity to him.

Orion rubbed his face and groaned. "God it's good to finally relax..." he said from underneath his hands. He walked over to the bed and kicked his backpack out of the way before collapsing down on to the plush mattress.

Wingy stood there awkwardly for a while, not sure what to do. If it had been the same Orion as before, she would have just struck up some kind of conversation with him. But this? She had no idea how to handle this. Luckily, Orion made that decision for her.

He stuck one hand up in the air and waved it around lazily as he spoke. "Kid, go into my backpack and get me one of those little packets of red powder. They should be in the front pocket." His voice was so serious that it almost sounded angry.

Wingy quickly walked over to the backpack and unzipped the front. She was dumbstruck. Inside the tiny pocket, was what looked like an entire hooflocker's worth of supplies. She briefly wondered how this was possible, but decided not to keep him waiting. She grabbed a packet and zipped the backpack up again. She made her way over to him and gave him the packet.

He quickly tore it open and inhaled the contents, not letting a single particle go free. He then crumpled the packet in his hands and threw it to the other side of the room.

Wingy watched him curiously before speaking. "What was that?" she asked him. "Some kind of medicine?"

Orion laughed dryly. "Nah, it's a murderer, is what it is. It's called Spice, or, more specifically, Glitterstim. I use it when I'm feeling down, and it picks me right back up," he told her.

She eyed him skeptically. "Where I'm from, we call those drugs. And they can kill you," she said.

He put his hands back on his face and rubbed his goatee. "Yeah... Yeah, that sounds about right," he said slowly.

She stood there again, the awkwardness returning from the lack of words being exchanged.

Orion spoke up after a few minutes of this. "Y'know, you can lose the armor and lay down too. I won't bite you too hard," he said sarcastically.

She felt heat come to her face as she nodded. Then she realized how stupid it was nodding when he couldn't see her.

"Don't worry, I know you're not stupid," Orion said right after she had those thoughts.

She didn't know what to think about this, so she just moved to strip herself of her armor. First, the breastplate, then the wrappings, followed by everything else. Once she was out of her armor, she felt oddly exposed to Orion.

Orion sat up and gave her a strange look. "You have a dirty mind," he said flatly.

She had no idea how he was seemingly reading her thoughts, so she decided to focus on not thinking about anything embarrassing while she climbed into the bed with him. She could see Orion smile darkly at her as soon as she thought this. Dang it!

He got off of the bed and walked over to the other side of the room as she situated her self on the plush mattress. "I need to wash my face. Make yourself comfy, I'll be back in a minute," he said to her as he walked into the bathroom.

As the door closed and the faucet came on, she wondered what he meant by that. She didn't have much time for thought as he pushed the door open and came back to the bed, staring straight into her eyes.

Orion reached the foot of the bed and just stared at her.

She stared back, nervously playing with her talons. "Uh, why are you looking at me like that?" she asked him.

He just continued to stare at her.

She started to inch away from him. "Um, Orion?" she asked in a partially fearful voice.

He reached out with his hands and grabbed her by the waist. He pulled her back towards him, forcing her backside to butt up against his groin.

She gasped out in shock when he did this. "Orion, what the heck are you doing?!" she yelled at him.

He leaned into her, making her yelp. "Wingy, as much as I like you, shut the fuck up," he said angrily.

She looked back at him when he said this, not believing that it was really Orion.

He tightened his grip on her waist, a certain part of him getting larger and pressing into a certain part of her. "I'm tired, Wingy. I'm tired of the bullshit, of being someone I'm not, of having to go on living for people I don't even like. I'm fucking tired of everything!" he growled, digging his fingers into her and making her cringe. "From the second I saw you, I knew that I had to have you. And by Mandalore's blaster, I'm going to."

She stared at him in fear. "O- Orion, I- I'm only sixteen!" she yelled.

He leaned further over her. "I don't care."

She tried again. "I'm a griffon! Not a pony, a griffon!"

He used his thumbs to pull down his pants just enough to free himself. "I don't care."

In a last ditch effort, she used the only line that she thought might save her at this point. "Wait! I- I'm a virgin!"

Orion pulled his lips back in a predatory smile. "Good, I like it tight."

She tensed as she felt his tip pushing into her passage. She couldn't move, couldn't talk, couldn't blink, couldn't even breathe. All she could do was try to brace herself as much as she could for what was coming.

Orion was about four inches in when he felt it, the blockage. And, instead of doing the right thing, he snorted in contempt and pushed forward as hard as he could.

And then there was screaming. Screaming so loud that it cracked the windows of the room.

Wingy felt like she was being ripped in half from the sheer size of him. She had no idea that someone this big even existed. How could they? Males like this were only ever found in cheap, half-flanked fanfictions that tried to include sex and end up making a mess of it, no pun intended.

Orion continued to push into her, feeling her walls convulse and twitch around him. He leaned over her, close to her ear. "You're so warm and soft, Wingy. I should have done this much sooner. Honestly, it's like a furnace in there," he teased, licking just behind her ear and making her twitch.

She didn't look at him when she spoke. "Sh- shut up, Orion."

He narrowed his eyes and hummed thoughtfully. "Hmm, I wonder if I can reach the entrance to your womb?" he mused aloud. Before she could do anything, he gave a hard thrust that had him almost bottoming out inside of her. "Heh, it looks like I can."

She shuddered in a mixture of pain and absolute euphoria. She grabbed as much of the thick blanket as she could in each talon and balled them into fists. "Orion?" she said slowly.

He hummed into her ear. "Yes?" he almost purred.

She whipped her head around to face him. She was crying, and a mixture of anger and begging was on her face. "Stop teasing and just screw me," she pleaded.

He laughed as he straightened himself, pulling out of her save for the tip. "That, I can do," he said. He then pushed the entire length back inside of her, parting the entrance of her womb slightly.

She moaned loudly, causing her to blush brightly through her feathers. But she didn't care about being embarrassed, this was amazing!

Over and over again, Orion would pull out to the tip, then push back into her and part her second entrance. He wasn't doing anything fancy this time. No foreplay, no worrying about his partner, nothing. He was focusing on himself and what he wanted. It just so happened to be causing a certain teenage griffon to experience her first non-self-induced orgasm. He growled a laugh at this. "Fuck, Wingy. I know this is your first time, but you didn't even last a minute," he teased her.

She couldn't even form a proper retort, on account of the overwhelming pleasure causing her entire form to shudder and convulse from the intensity of it. And the bad thing was that she wasn't even fully finished with her first one when the second one started.

Orion could feel this. Oh, yes, he could feel this. And he was loving it. Her walls, never for even one second stopped clenching around him, her body trying to suckle him for his hot seed. Her first orgasm brought with it pleasure for him. But the second was even stronger, and the third, even more so. Now, the fourth one was overtaking her, and Orion felt like his cock was going to be bruised for a few days. He opened his mouth to speak. "Wingy, you gotta calm down!" he breathed. "I won't be able to last much longer like this!"

She could hardly speak, and what she did say was barely understandable. "Ah-ee-ee-ee...Ca-ah-ah-ah-ah-nn-nn-nta-ah!"

Orion valiantly fought his way through her fifth, but her sixth was bringing him to the point of No Return.

She bit into the bed to suppress a scream. Her sixth was so strong that it hurt. And as her seventh came around, her tail was lashing around.

Orion saw it coming, but he could do nothing to stop it. Her tail wrapped around his neck, constricting so tightly that it was difficult to breathe as he struggled against everything to survive her eighth. When her ninth orgasm was at its peak, he actually started thinking that his dick was going to melt off from the burning heat inside of her. That, or his dick was going to be crushed into paste from her walls.

But no, it wasn't her ninth that did it. It was her tenth, painful, blissful, horrible, amazing, wonderful, great, perfect- well, there just aren't enough words to describe just how perfectly perfect her tenth orgasm was.

Orion pushed into her as far as he could go, breaching into her womb. "Holy, fucking... FUCK!!!" he articulated as he could handle no more and released everything he had into her.

She did much the same thing, calling out in her own language some form of obscenities to express her feelings for the situation.

They held that position for a few minutes as they caught their breath. Orion's neck was freed once Wingy realized that she was slowly choking him to death, and Orion loosened his death grip on her backside after he had gotten control over himself again.

He pulled out of her and took a quick step back to avoid the rush of liquids coming out of her.

She took a few deep breaths as she rested her head on the plush bed, the softness and warmth lulling her to sleep after that very strenuous activity. She closed her eyes for only a second before she felt Orion poke her in the side. She grumbled and swatted him away with a talon. "No, lemme sleep," she mumbled. The sound of ominous laughter and plastic crinkling caught her attention. She turned her head slowly to see what Orion was doing.

Orion had a packet of small blue pills in his hand. It was open and on of them was missing. As he stared at her, he set the packet and remaining pills on the edge of the bed before walking back between her hind legs. Then, his cock began to glow.

She watched in fascinated fear as the bright glow intensified to the point of blinding. When she could no longer handle the light, she shielded her eyes and looked away. the light lasted for only a minute, and when it was gone, she looked back to Orion. Her eyes widened in disbelief.

Orion stood there, with a very pleased look on his face, and a second cock right above the first one. Just as big, just as menacing, just as wonderful.

In her mind, a single phrase surfaced and spoke to her softly.

The fun has been doubled!

***

And all throughout the night, the patrons of the hotel got no sleep, for the screams of pain, of pleasure, of horror, and of unbridled joy, were heard by all.

Author's Note

Yeah, after Orion and Wingy I decided to go back to using sex for nothing but comical purposes again, like I did when I kind of got a little silly with Wingy and Orion. I don't really like writing it, and unless there's some kind of grand consensus that demands I write more of it, I'm done with it for now. And about that italicized chat? It's supposed to be inside of his head, if you didn't realize it. I know it's probably OOC, but it's only for the laughs.

My Little Girls

There was a noise. It was a very bothersome noise. It was bothersome to the point of being very annoying. No, it was more than annoying, it was bothersome.

Celestia pawed at her ears to rid herself of the noise invading her sensory organs. But even trying to block her ears to the point of potentially bruising them, the noise persisted. She decided then and there, that she would make Twilight and her friends send whatever was making that noise to the Moon, after turning it to stone, after exploding it.

She rolled over, trying to bundle as many blankets over her head as possible to stop the noise from worsening her quickly growing headache. After a small struggle, she eventually took all the blankets, and covered her head with them.

The blankets were pulled away from her by a very strong grip.

"Give me the damned blankets. It's chilly in here..." said a very familiar voice.

Celestia opened her eyes, very slowly. She didn't want to believe that she had just heard him. Had just heard his voice right next to her, in her bedroom, in her bed.

The noise only got louder. She realized now that it was snoring.

She slowly rolled back over. Then she saw it. The sleeping form of Roland in her bed. Naked. She opened her mouth, as if to speak. But no sound came out. She didn't blink for a long time as the memories from the previous night flooded into her mind. The kissing, the licking, the sucking, the rutting, the screaming... Oh, no. There was screaming. Did anypony hear...?

Roland let out a loud snort, murmuring something about some kind of Imperial battle field. He stretched his arms out, yawning loudly.

Celestia's eyes widened as she saw him roll over and face her, a small frown on his face. She hoped to everything there was to hope to that he didn't-

Roland opened his eyes. He was looking directly into her own. There was no kind of recognition on his face. No way of telling whether or not he remembered anything. Until, that is, his eyes, slowly but surely, started widening. After a full minute his mouth opened slightly, allowing him to speak. "We didn't," he whispered in horror.

Celestia bit her bottom lip and took on a light blush. She nodded, just barely. "We did," she whispered back.

Roland stared at her for minutes without blinking. His mouth still open just a bit.

Celestia shifted in her bed, moving closer to him. "Roland?" she asked carefully.

Roland closed his mouth, taking a deep breath through his nose.

Celestia moved a hoof up to rest on the side of his face. "Roland? Are you okay?" she asked, still very carefully.

Roland closed his eyes and toke several deep breaths. He didn't answer immediately, but he eventually found the words to speak. "I... think so," he breathed. He opened his eyes and looked into hers. "We were drunk, and what we did was in the heat of the moment. If you're angry, I'm sorry an-"

Celestia cut him off with a hoof over his mouth. She smiled at him warmly. "Roland, you don't need to be sorry," she said in a light voice. "In fact..." She moved closer to him, her face less than an inch from his. "I should be thanking you."

Roland blinked. Then he blinked again. "What?"

She smiled sultrily at him, her eyes going half-lidded. "I haven't had a night like that in a long, long time. And, well..." She pressed her lips to his, stealing a quick kiss. "I'd like to have that kind of night more often."

Roland looked at her with wide eyes. But after going through all of the scenarios in his mind, he took on a somber look. "You do realize, I can't stay here forever?" he said.

She nodded at him. "I know. I don't expect you to stay with me for eternity. After all, you're not immortal," she said, stroking his jawline with her hoof tenderly.

He narrowed his eyes at her and his jaw tensed. "No. I mean that we're leaving as soon as we possibly can."

Celestia pulled her hoof away quickly. She had a saddened look about her. "You... You don't want to stay with me, do you?" It wasn't a a question, so much as a statement.

Roland sat up in the bed, rubbing his face roughly with his hands. After a few seconds of this, he looked down to her. "Celestia, if the only way you could be happy was to abandon everything and everybody you ever knew, leaving them to die, or worse, at the hands of people that will kill them just to hurt you... Well, could you do it?" he asked, staring at her with enough despair in his eyes to make her shudder mentally.

She sat up as well, but kept at his arms' length. "Is... Is it really that bad out there? Is the Galaxy beyond Equis really that bad?" she asked quietly.

Roland got off the bed and walked over to wear his armor was. "Trust me. However bad you think it is, it's infinitely worse," he said as he started strapping his chest plate on.

Celestia rose and slowly made her way over to him. Once he was fully armored, she spoke. "Roland, you still have no way off of this planet," she told him.

He put on his helmet, a hiss of air sealing it in place. "I know. I'm still trying to think about how we can solve that," he said to her.

She rested her hoof on his back. "Roland... As long as you're here... Just know that... Know that I'm here for you," she said softly.

He turned around slowly and looked into her face, her reflection staring back at her. He reached out and placed a hand behind her head, pulling her close enough so that her forehead could touch his armored one. "I know," he said in his tinny voice.

***

Wingy was laying on the large plush mattress of the fancy hotel that her and Orion had slept in the previous night. Well, not so much as the night, as the early hours of the morning. Because for the rest of the evening, the entirety of the night, and much of the morning, they were together. Not together as they were when they were walking or talking together. No, they were together physically. The large bruises forming in questionable places under Wingy's fur was proof of that fact. As well as under her wings. Orion seemed to have some type of fetish for wings...

She was laying on the bed, in the place between the Dreamscape and the waking world. She was having a dream, very similar to what had happened between her and Orion. But she was also aware of the room around her. She was aware of the wrinkled mess of the blankets, of the cold winds coming through the cracked windows, of the candles that never seemed to go out still burning, of the fact that Orion was gone. It was that last one that made her open her eyes.

She looked around the room slowly, not fully awake yet. He wasn't in bed with her, but that wasn't very strange. She had actually passed out from fatigue, so she didn't actually know if Orion had slept with her or not. She only assumed he did. But he wasn't in the bathroom either. Or at the wardrobe, or the small fridge, or at the door.

She decided that it was best to see if he was somewhere around the hotel, just to make sure that half of the building wasn't burning to the ground. She rolled off of the side of the bed and placed her hind legs on the ground. She instantly hissed in pain and crashed to the floor as her legs gave out. She lay on the floor for a while, letting the pins and needles feeling leave her legs. It took a worryingly long time until she could actually move her legs again without too much pain. She tried to stand again, but was met with the same result. "What's going on?" she growled at herself in annoyance.

She looked back at her legs and saw a... disturbing... sight. Since she had passed out and hadn't had the chance to clean herself, everything was still there. And from her sudden movements, everything that was still inside of her came spilling out. But other than that, she saw that her backside and legs were bruised to the point that her fur had actually darkened from the amount of blood vessels gathered under her skin. The sight was enough to both mildly disgust her and slightly turn her on. She reached back with a talon and tried to rub the pain away, but at the slightest touch, the pain came back in full force and she had to hold back a scream.

She looked at the door. If Orion came in now and saw her splayed out on the floor and was even a little bit turned on... Her eyes became pinpricks as she thought about how that would play out. She frantically flapped her wings, trying to get to the bathroom to get herself clean. But the bruises under her wings made this difficult, and she had to suppress the urge to cry out in pain. But with effort, she made it into the room, locked the door, and literally fell into the large bathtub.

The hot water made her private parts ache horribly, but when she was almost completely submerged in the bathtub, the aches went away and were replaced by a soothing sensation.

She relaxed in the tub, washing away the leavings of her and Orion's activities and letting the dirty water go down the drain before filling it back up and simply soaking in the hot water and letting her body relax.

Well, that is, until the suite's door was kicked in and the voices of soldiers filled the room.

"Find her!"

"She's in here somewhere!"

"Check the bathroom!"

She had just enough time to panic before the bathroom door was knocked off its hinges, letting two large griffons wearing SpecOps. armor enter.

They looked around and saw her in the tub. They grabbed her roughly and dragged her out of the room, throwing her to the ground in front of three other griffons wearing the same armor. One of which happened to be her commanding officer, Commander Arrow.

He looked at her with his one good eye narrowed dangerously. He was a smaller griffon than the others, but what he lacked in size, he made up for in smarts and skill. "Private Wingy," he hissed. "If it were up to me, I would execute you on the spot. But as it is, the higher-ups want to keep you alive so you can report what you found out."

By herself, she would have fallen down. But she was lucky enough that the two that had grabbed her were still holding her up. "Commander Arrow, sir," she tried saluting him, but almost fell over. "I have learned as much as I could from the target," she said, thinking that she would convince him that she had only done what she did to study the enemy. "And I can tell you now that I have much to report."

At that very moment, a certain moronic Dark Jedi named Orion walked into the room carrying a large amount of food. "Hey Wingy, I thought you'd be hungry so I got some breakfast for us!" he said cheerily as he walked past the gaping griffons over to a small table and set down the food. "If I knew we were having your friends over I would have gotten more," he laughed. He stood there, looking directly at the Commander, smiling his stupid, ridiculous smile.

The five griffon SpecOps. members stared in open-mouthed shock at seeing him. After all, they saw him leave the hotel only about five minutes ago.

"Die, scum!" one of the griffons screeched as he launched himself at Orion.

Orion shot his hand up and let the Force do its thing.

The griffon was only a foot away from him when something hit him strong enough to break several bones in his body and throw him into a wall, cracking it. Before he even hit the ground, there was a grip at his throat. And then, nothing.

Orion relaxed his hand, dropping the dead griffon on the ground, his head at an impossible angle. "Are we playing tag?! You should have just told me!" he yelled, throwing his hands towards the griffons.

The two griffons carrying Wingy, as well as the other SpecOps. members were hit by a wave of something. The two that were holding Wingy were thrown into the wall, the sides of their body that were facing Orion having dissolved into a red liquid staining the carpet. The Commander's legs were sticking at an odd angle, and he would have died if it weren't for the other griffon that had cushioned his impact with the wall.

In all of this, Wingy was unhurt. Well, except for falling on the ground from the unwillingness of her legs to hold her up.

Orion walked over to the Commander, smiling madly and his eyes glowing softly. He stopped just a few inches from him.

The Commander looked up at him with a mixture of anger and fear. "Well, creature? Are you going to kill me or are you just going to stand there?" he growled at him.

Orion leaned over him, smiling widely. "I'm going to fuck your mind," he said slowly. He then put his hand on the griffons head. It lasted only a few seconds, but after it was done, Orion was breathing hard when he pulled his hand away.

The griffon Commander was twitching on the floor uncontrollably, drooling slightly.

Orion turned to Wingy and smiled a sad smile. "I think it's time for you to go," he said sadly.

Wingy tried to stand, but gave up. "I can't move," she admitted in embarrassment.

Orion smiled darkly. "Yeah, I'm amazing, I know," he bragged as he walked over to her. He placed his hands on her legs, making her wince. He smiled stupidly. "Aaaaaand, all fixed!" he said too loudly.

And just like it was never there, the pain was gone and she could move her legs again. She stood up and looked at Orion. "Thanks, Orion," she mumbled.

He put his hand on her head, ruffling her feathers. "No problem Wingy!" he yelled. Then he took on a slightly serious expression. "But you need to leave. There's going to be a fight here, and you should try to be inside when it happens," he told her.

She looked at him oddly. "How do you know that?" she asked.

He smiled into her face. "Part of the mind raping process includes a one-way transfer of information! So, everything he knew, I know!" he said with a wide smile.

She looked to her Commander, then back to Orion. "Will... Will we see each other again?"

He smiled at her. "Unless you die in some kind of horribly painful way, hell yeah! You're an amazing fuckbuddy!" he complimented her.

She blushed under her feathers at his... Well, let's just call it a compliment. "Okay then," she said looking up at him. "I'll see you around?"

He nodded at her. "Abso-posi-tiva-fuckin-lutely!" he said with grace.

She smiled once more and hugged him before walking out of the room quickly, heading back to wherever she was based at.

The second she walked out, Orion's smile turned into a mad grin. He looked at the quivering form of the Commander laying on the ground.

You're an evil prick, you know that?

Yes. And I fucking love being evil!

It does have great health benefits...

And cookies!

Yes. And cookies.

***

A few hours after the hotel incident, Orion was walking the streets of Canterlot once more. It was snowing very lightly, and the few inches on the ground already made funny crunching noises with each step.

Orion had had so much fun with the griffon. There was blood, screaming, feathers, more blood, more screaming, more screaming, oh so much fucking screaming! It chilled his blood in the most satisfying of ways...

Anyways...

Orion was walking through what seemed to be some kind of park located in the center area of the grand city. It wasn't that cold out, surprisingly enough. Sure, it was chilly, but not cold. Although, he always did have an unnaturally high tolerance for these things...

Orion pulled out his datapad and smiled as he scrolled through it. His bank account was getting bigger and bigger since the transfer of funds. Soon, he would have enough to buy his own space station. And when that happened... Well, it was going to be fun.

He would have liked to contact the bank to see if everything was set for him to start a down payment, but he didn't have connection. What he was looking at was only a calculated estimate of what he had. But still, it looked good.

He put the datapad back on his belt and started walking up a small hill to see the view. Half way up though, he was attacked! Two small forms popped up from nowhere and jumped straight into his chest, knocking him on his back and sliding down the hill with them on top of him.

When he hit the bottom, he looked at the two bodies on top of him and smiled to wide it hurt. "Girls!" he screamed.

"Hi Orion!" both Clover and Icy yelled in unison.

He pulled them into a tight hug, burying their faces in his chest. "Oh, I've missed you both so much!" he told them. He stood up, still holding them in a hug. He looked at them. "What are you two doing here?"

They both looked up at him with smiles. "Head Mistress is taking us on a field day," explained Clover.

Icy nodded vigorously. "Uh huh! And when we saw you I did a cloaking spell and we sneaked up on you! Then we got you!" she said, shaking a tiny hoof at him. "Revenge is mine!" she cried into the air.

Clover poked her sister in the side. "Ours. We both got him, you know," she informed her sister flatly.

Before Icy could give a retort, Orion stuffed them both into his shirt, getting complaints from both of them. He either didn't hear them or didn't care as he started walking back up the hill. As he reached the hill top, they both righted themselves and stuck their head out of the front of his shirt.

"Oooohh..." they both said as the view of the city was laid out before them. The buildings looked like they were made of shining silver in the snow, the windows glittering in the failing light and the stone and metal gleaming.

"It's so pretty..." Clover said quietly in awe.

Icy nodded. "It's like silver and diamonds..."

Orion smiled widely. "It would look better if it were made of sweets," he mused aloud.

Both of the fillies looked up at him strangely.

He gave them a defensive look. "What? I'm just saying that it would be nice..."

They both giggled at his weirdness

"Hey, want to see me do a back flip?!" he asked them excitedly.

They cheered their approval.

"Awesome!" he yelled loudly. Then he did a front flip. He landed on his backside and slid down the hill faster than any sled could ever hope to.

They all whooped and cheered as he reached the bottom of the hill, scattering snow in every direction. Including on a group of children lead by an aged mare that Orion didn't pay any mind to.

Orion stood up laughing and brushed the snow off of himself and the heads of his precious, beautiful little girls.

"Excuse me," said a harsh voice from behind him.

He turned around to see an aged and wrinkly light brown mare with a grey mane and tail and dark brown eyes. Her mane was tied up in a severe bun, and her tail was cut short. She also wore a light green tweed coat and a pair of small spectacles were perched on her muzzle with a gold chain on either handle.

"Excuse me," she groused again in a harsh voice that seemed to be too loud for no reason whatsoever. She looked very angry.

Orion waved at her. "Hi!" he said cheerily.

She snorted at him. "I don't know who or what you are, but you 'ave my girls in your shirt. I'd like 'em back now, if you please," she said to him. She seemed to overly pronounce every vowel and spoke in a way that reminded him of a funny video he once saw about a young boy named Oliver something-or-other. It started with a T...

He gave her a displeased look. "I'm surry, madam, but you must 'ave not washed yer spectacles. For, these wonderful lit'le gurls b'long t' may," he articulated in a slightly stronger accent that copied the mare's.

She rose a saggy brow at him. "Oh, aye? Then, p'haps you might be willin' t' tell me their names?" she challenged.

Orion nodded happily at her. " 'Course, mother!" He rubbed Clover's head lovingly. "This 'ere is me eldest, Clover," he needlessly informed her. He then rubbed Icy's head lovingly as well. "An' this is me youngest, Icy."

They both giggled when he continued to speak like this.

The mare glared daggers at him. "I don't know 'ow you've gotten their names, but they ain't yours! So give 'em 'ere, or I'll call the guards!"

Orion looked insulted from her words. "Madam, there's naught a need fer callin' the Rozzers ove' 'ere! I simply want t' spend a day outta the 'ouse wiff me daughters! You canny accuse may o' naught but bein' a lovin' ol' dad!"

The mare approached him, invading his personal space. "Are you claimin' to be these girls' father?" she groused at him, narrowing her eyes at him.

He nodded enthusiastically. "That I be, mother! Why, I dare say I would claim the same if'n they nicked ol' Death's scythe! I would never, never, be anythin' but a perfect, lovin' dad t' these gurls!" he finished by wrapping his arms across his chest, hugging the two young fillies in his shirt.

They snuggled into his chest, appreciating the warmth he provided them.

Orion and the mare had a stare off, seeing who would back down first. This went on for a full minute before the mare broke away.

She chuckled at Orion. "I know your not their father, boy. I'm Head Mistress Ruth," she told him as she stuck out a hoof.

Orion smiled and bowed slightly, taking her hoof and giving it a light kiss. "Pleasure be mine, madam," he said silkily.

She smiled at him for this. "Good try, boy, but I'm not some airheaded pub wench that you can charm inta your bed chambers."

Clover and Icy both "Eeeeww"ed at this, but were ignored by the both of them.

Orion laughed and smiled at her as he stood right. "The thought narry crossed me mind," he said smoothly.

Head Mistress Ruth turned to the group of twenty or so children and addressed them. "Listen 'ere children! You 'ave two hours to do as you wish! After that, we're 'eadin' back to the orphanage for broth!"

Clover and Icy struggled to get out of Orion's shirt until he plucked them out and set them down in the snow. They both looked back to him and smiled brightly.

"I'll see you in a bit, dad," Clover said sarcastically.

Icy laughed at her sister's joke. "Yeah, dad, we'll be back in two hours."

Orion cupped his hands around his mouth as they ran off to join their friends in their fun and merriment. "Be safe, gurls! Don't talk wiff strangers! Don't eat the yella snow! Stay where I can see ya!"

Head Mistress laughed at him as she climbed up on to a park bench after pushing the snow off. "If I didn't know no better, I would'a thought you was their dad," she said jokingly.

Orion walked over to the bench and sat down beside her. He took in a deep breath of the cold air. "I wish that I was their dad," he said, reverting back to his actual voice.

Head Mistress blinked at him. She then glared playfully at him. "You ain't from Trottingham, are you boy?" she guessed.

He shook his head, still watching his girls playing with the other kids. "Nah, I'm not even from this part of the Galaxy." He took in a deep breath and sighed it out. A single tear went down his face as he watched his beautiful little girls playing in the snow. "But those girls make me wish I was. I would give anything just to stay with them," he said in a slightly choked voice.

Head Mistress looked at him in sympathy. "You really love those girls, don't ya?" she asked him softly.

He nodded slowly. "I would burn the Galaxy to ashes just to keep them safe. I would let myself suffer just to make them smile. I would give up everybody and everything to just be with them so I can make sure that they're always happy." He looked at her with startling intensity. "I would die and give up my body just to be able to be their father."

She didn't know what to say to something like that, so instead she just looked at the children playing.

A long time passed by as they sat on that bench. Long enough that even the children started to slow down and tried to stay out of the deeper snow.

Head Mistress spoke again, measuring her words. "If you really do love those girls, you can come by the orphanage some time. Maybe... you can even take 'em 'ome with you," she said, looking to Orion when she finished.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply for a long time before answering. "I can't do that to them," he told her. He opened his eyes and seemed to cut into her with his gaze. "I can't stay on this planet forever. And when I leave, everybody here'll be left behind. I can't hurt them like that."

Head Mistress was about to respond, but Orion's two little girls came up to them shivering from the cold.

"Is it t- time to go yet?" Clover asked in a shivering voice.

Head Mistress looked at the hidden glow that was the Sun and made a quick estimate. She called to the children from her seat on the bench. "Ten minutes til we leave! Be ready!" she yelled to them.

Orion reached down and scooped up Clover and Icy and stuffed them into his shirt. They didn't complain this time, welcoming the warmth he gave them.

Head Mistress smiled as she saw them poke their head out the front of his shirt and cuddle against each other and him for his warmth. "Say, I 'ave a proposal," she said, looking up at his face.

Orion smiled stupidly. "I think we need a ring first," he told her.

She laughed at him. "No, nothin' like that. 'ows about you take those girls 'ome with ya, as a trial period?"

Both Clover and Icy looked up at him with wide eyes, staring so hard into his face that it could have shattered him.

He stared back into their wide eyes. For what felt like an eternity he stared into their eyes. Finally, he spoke. "Yeah... That sounds like a good idea," he whispered. He then hugged his arms over his precious little girls and started walking towards the castle in the distance. They were cold and hungry. And he would make sure that they were happy even if it killed everybody around him.

Author's Note

Yes, I referenced Oliver Twist in a pony-Star Wars crossover. Get over it.

Smitty Werbenmangensen

You know, I think this is going pretty well.

Are you serious?! This is fucking horrible!

How?

Are you fucking stupid?!

... No...?

Just look around us! It's a disaster area!

Well... it could be worse, y'know...

How could this possibly have gone worse?!

We could have been killed, for one thing. Another thing, we could have lost the game of dare.

It would have been batter if we did lose, you blundering idiot!

No it wouldn't have!

Yes, it really, really fucking would have!

Explain this to me, I'm not seeing your logic in this.

If we hadn't have done this, we wouldn't be here right now! If we didn't even play this damn game we would have just been able to walk in and have lunch with Clover and Icy! But noooooo~ you just had to fucking do this. You just had to!

Well, they had fun...

sigh, I guess...

So it was worth it.

No, it wasn't. It really fucking wasn't.

So would you rather we scold them for doing their part?

No, I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying we should be setting some sort of example.

We a-

No! Don't you dare say that!

But-

No!

...

...

Butwearesettinganexample!!!

...

...

I hate you... So... so... fucking much right now...

Orion, Clover, and Icy were sitting at a large dining table in Canterlot castle with their arms, or hooves, crossed over their chests and a bored expression on each of their faces. They were in trouble again. For doing something they shouldn't have, again. And they were being lectured by Twilight as to why they were wrong, how they could have avoided trouble, and other such bullshit along those lines. Again.

Orion and his girls have been getting into trouble at the castle for over a week now. At first, the ponies started tearing up from how beautiful and touching it was that Orion was practically a father to Clover and Icy. But now, it was obvious that everybody- and pony- was getting tired of them. First, it was simple. A bucket of water here, a tack on a chair there...

Sigh... Good times... Good times...

Shut up, damn it! We're already in enough trouble as it is! Don't go interrupting the story!

Oh, so now it's you telling me to-

Both of you, shut the fuck up!

Anyways...

But as the days went by, the pranks and trouble escalated. First, it was a bottle of soap in the soup at dinner for Luna. Then, when she tried to wash away the taste with her tea, she found that her throat had been sealed shut from all of the super glue that had been dumped into her drink. If it wasn't for the fact that she was immortal...

Next, it was bowling balls above the barracks door. Almost twenty guards in the hospital, and two in critical condition.

On the same day, he got a pegasus guard some type of hat. He thought that Orion was being nice, and accepted it with a smile and a thanks. What he didn't know was that Orion and his girls had lined it with a highly conductive metal. So when he tried to fly in a storm... Pegasus pony BBQ.

At one point, Celestia had a talk with him, but the three of them fell asleep from boredom. The sight of Orion snuggled up with his girls in his shirt was just too cute to stop, so Celestia took a mental photograph and left them to it.

But this particular prank was just too far over the line. Eventually, Twilight's friends had to go back to Ponyville. They had jobs and lives of their own, after all. But just before they left, Orion gave them something. They didn't know what it was, but he had told them that when they got onto the train and away from the city, to push the switch on it and an awesome surprise would come out. They didn't expect much. After all, it was just a greyish-red ball the size of an orange. What could it possibly do? Well, as it turns out, it can explode into a great big fireball that consumes everything around it.

Rarity, Pinkie, and Fluttershy lost their manes. Applejack got a little singed and her hat was ruined. And since Rainbow Dash didn't really have much of a mane, she was mostly untouched, besides being slightly charred.

But the worse part was that it destroyed the side of the train car, and the train itself was derailed from the force of the explosion, leaving the five of them, and many other passengers, stranded in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, after a few hours of worrying about the train not reaching its destination, a search team was sent out and rescued all of the ponies.

Twilight was not happy. In fact, the only reason she hadn't disintegrated Orion was because Clover and Icy were in his shirt. She was certain that Orion only let them stay there because he knew that it would keep him alive.

Orion sighed again, looking at Twilight's horn, instead of her eyes. "I wonder if it's just a bony penis..." he mused aloud.

The two girls looked up at him. "What's a pen-is?" Icy asked him curiously.

He smiled at them. "I'll tell you when you're a few years older. But if anybody ever uses that word around you," he took on a look of cold rage, "I'll make sure they never talk again," he said in a cold voice.

Clover and Icy shrunk away from him.

He smiled at them in his usual goofy style. "Aw, don't be scared," he said as he pet their head. "You girls never have to be afraid of me. I'm the bad guy!"

They smiled at his weirdness.

He looked back at Twilight, completely unaware that she was being ignored, and stared at her horn again. He looked down at Icy. "Hmm..." He used his forefinger and his thumb to pinch the tip of Icy's horn and started rubbing his fingers together gently.

Icy yelped and started squirming around. She was whining and whimpering wordlessly, apparently in some form of agony.

He pulled his hand away and chuckled darkly, smiling to himself. He just found a new way to torture ponies that bothered him. He looked back up at Twilight, who was raving about some kind of repercussions for his actions, or something like that.

He felt a poke at his neck. He looked down to see Clover and Icy both staring at him with odd expressions, like they weren't sure what to express. He smiled at them happily. "Yes, my babies?" he asked.

They both frowned at his words. They weren't babies! They were full grown fillies, dang it! Oops, that's not a nice word to say...

"Well, are you just going to admire my amazingness or...?"

They both blushed from being called out for staring.

"Uh..." Icy rubbed her hooves together nervously.

Orion smiled at her even wider. "Yes...?" he teased.

Icy looked at her hooves, then back at him.

Clover elbowed her sister gently.

Icy glared at her sister, then looked back at Orion's smiling face. "Um... What, did you do?" she asked quietly, almost mumbling.

Orion gave her a confused look. "What did I do?"

She looked even more nervous. "Uh, when you, touched my horn... It was, uh, nice..."

Orion's smile slowly turned into a horrified slackened jaw.

She seemed to stare into his soul when she asked him this. "Can you... do it again?" she asked hopefully.

Orion shook his head so slowly that it was almost hard to tell if he really moved his head at all. "No," he whispered.

She deflated visibly, turning sad eyes to him. "But, why? It was nice, like a hug, but better. If you have a horn, we can-"

Orion clamped his hands over her mouth, giving them a wild-eyed look. "You can never tell anybody I did that," he whispered quickly. "And no, I won't do it again. And you won't be doing anything like I did until you're a lot older, do you understand me?" he hissed at them.

Icy pushed his hand away and glared at him. "Grown ups are always telling us that! 'When you're older.' I hate hearing that!"

Clover nodded. "It's dumb. We're old enough to know things. C'mon, tell us!"

Orion smiled sadly and rubbed their heads lovingly. "Girls, I'm trying to save you by not telling you this. If I told you what I knew about it, it would only hurt you." He wrapped his arms around them, hugging them against his chest tightly. "If it's like a hug, I'll give you all the hugs you could ever want. But please, don't ask me to do anything like that again."

They fought against his hug for a short time, but gave in eventually and cuddled into him.

Clover sighed into his chest. "When can we know?" she asked him, her voice muffled slightly.

Orion smiled knowingly. "Trust me on this one. When it happens, you'll know."

A throat cleared itself from in front of them.

All three of them looked to see Twilight giving them a half-annoyed half-cuteness-overloaded expression.

She tried to glare, but it turned into a smile from the massive amounts of cuteness that they were producing. "Can you at least pay attention?" she scolded them

Orion yawned loudly, smacking his lips at the end of it. "Nope. We're gonna go take a nap," he told her as he rose out of his seat.

Clover and Icy protested.

"No," Clover tried to shout, but it was ruined by a cute little yawn. "I don't wanna take a nap..." she trailed off as her eyes slowly closed.

Icy tried to smack her hooves into his chest, but did nothing. "I'm not tired," she said with an adorable yawn.

Orion smiled at them, somehow still maintaining his goofy smile while also making it look loving. "If you're not tired, you can always walk," he suggested.

They both made "Uh uh" noises and dug deeper into his black shirt.

Before Twilight could stop them, they were out the door and down the hallway. She sighed and rubbed her head with a hoof.

"Those three really are adorable together, aren't they?" a voice asked from behind Twilight.

She turned and saw princess Celestia standing behind her with a small smile on her face. "Princess, what are you doing here?" Twilight asked her.

Celestia strode over to her, her ever-present smile growing slightly. "I don't think you should be so hard on him."

Twilight's eyes went wide as she opened her mouth to speak.

Celestia continued before she could utter a single word. "I know that what he did was wrong, I'm not going to argue that. But I think that keeping them in here for over two hours while you yell at them is a bit harsh."

Twilight blinked. She turned an embarrassed look to Celestia. "It's been two hours?" she asked carefully.

Celestia smiled at her. "Actually, it's been around two and a half hours."

Twilight blushed slightly.

Celestia raised a hoof to her mouth and gave a graceful yawn. She let her eyelids droop slightly as she smiled at Twilight. "I think that Orion has the right idea. I'm going to take a small nap," she informed Twilight.

Twilight looked at Celestia oddly. "I think Orion's rubbing off on you..."

After a few seconds of thinking, Celestia took on a mildly horrified look. "I fear that you're right, Twilight. I need to warn Luna to be careful around him. Who knows what kind of habits she might pick up from him?"

Twilight and Celestia both shared a fearful shudder at the mere thought of it.

***

Mavis felt a spike of cold enter her spine at the thought of an all-powerful immortal goddess picking up habits from Orion.

***

... There was a banging on the door that signaled to Orion that somebody wanted in. It also signaled that his nap was probably over.

He stretched his limbs, hearing several loud cracks and pops from his bones. He rolled the two small equine forms off of him and pushed himself up from the bed, making his way over to the door.

Whoever it was banged on it again, seven times.

Orion banged on the door as well, seven times.

They banged again.

He banged again.

They banged.

He banged.

They banged.

He banged.

"Open the damned door!" the voice of Roland yelled.

Orion banged again.

"I swear to everything holy, I will shoot this door down!" he thundered.

He laughed and pushed the door open to reveal not only Roland, but Sharpe and Luna as well. "Yes offense, but I was sleeping."

Roland grabbed him and pulled him out of the room, closing it behind him. He let go of him when he knew that he wouldn't go back. "We need to talk," he said curtly, just before turning on his heel and walking quickly down the hallway.

Sharpe and Luna followed closely behind, while Orion swayed back-and-forth, humming a strange tune that was a little creepy, but kind of catchy at the same time.

Roland turned a corner and spoke. "While you were fucking off, we found the camp where the griffons were based at. We took three and killed the rest. Since then, the scouts have stopped coming close to the castle, but they're still out there."

Orion nodded slowly, but said nothing.

Roland continued. "Now, I've spoken with Celestia, and she won't condone torture. So, we need you to make them tell us what they know."

Orion smiled his goofy smile just a bit wider. "I get to torture them?" he asked hopefully.

Luna shot him a cold glare. "There will be no torturing in this castle," she said in a threatening voice. "The only reason I am not informing my sister of this is because I agree with Roland. We need information, and now."

Sharpe hissed quietly at this.

They turned another corner and came face-to-wood with a large set of double doors made of a dark wood and metal supports with strange runes inscribed on them.

"What's this?" Orion asked curiously.

Luna lit up her horn, powering the runes on the doors. "This is one of the many entrances to the dungeons," she said as the door swung open.

A wave of stale air washed over them, making them wonder just how long this particular door has been closed.

For a while they all just stood there, none of them wanting to go down first.

Then Orion cried out "Adventure!~" and sped down the dark corridor.

Roland sighed and shook his head. "He's going to regret doing things like that one day..."

***

Orion was jogging through the dimly lit corridors, taking lefts and rights seemingly at random. But he knew where he was going; his Orion Sense was tingling. And when he was a-tinglin', he was close to his goal. It's in the rules. He turned one last corner and saw a cage with three griffons in it. He smiled to himself and patted his own head in congratulations.

The griffons all looked at him with angry sneers on their faces. There was a large male with dull grey feathers, another male with clean white feathers, and a female with creamy white feathers with blue patches around her eyes.

Orion walked straight up to the bars and smiled at them. "Hello, my name is Smitty Werbenmangensen, and I'm your new warden," he said in a stuffy voice.

The female growled at him. "Go to Tartarus!" she yelled loudly.

Orion smiled wider. "Ah, you've got a mouth on you. I'll enjoy putting that mouth to work," he said suggestively, waggling his eyebrows at her.

One of the males, the one with grey feathers slammed against the bars and clawed at him with his talons. "Don't you dare speak to my mate that way, you disgusting creature!" he roared.

Orion laughed at the griffon's attempts to harm him. "I'll enjoy playing with you..." He then waved his hand at the cell's lock and a loud click was heard. Before the griffons could do anything, Orion entered their cell and locked the door again.

All of the griffons took battle positions as they glared at him.

He smiled just a little bit straighter and patted a black pouch hanging on the side of his hip. He opened the pouch and pulled out two objects. A large needle for one hand, and a deadly sharp surgical knife in the other. "Who wants to go first?" he asked calmly.

The grey griffon charged him. He didn't get far.

Orion stuck out his hand, lifting him off of the ground and slamming him back down in front of him. He bent down over the griffon with a demented smile and a glow in his eyes. "Now, I want to know everything there is to know about you guys."

Before he could let the first griffon speak, the other two charged him. The same thing happened, with slightly more painful results.

The first griffon looked at him with rage in his eyes. "I'll never betray my queen, or my country," he spat at his interrogator.

Orion laughed. "You just did. I didn't know you had a queen, and now I know who to kill," he said in a conversational tone.

The griffon cringed at his slip of the tongue. "You'll not get anything else from me!"

Orion shrugged. "Fine, I'd rather make you scream anyway," he said calmly. He struck out with the scalpel, piercing the griffon's left eyeball. He fiddled with the knife for a few seconds while the griffon screamed, then he pulled the knife out with the bloody eyeball still on the tip. "Mmm, tasty." Orion stuffed the eye in to his mouth and chewed it slowly before swallowing noisily, smacking his lips afterwards.

The sound of somebody throwing up behind Orion was just enough to make him smile wider, just enough to crack his lips.

Orion kicked the griffon into the wall and stuck the needle into his neck. He pulled the plunger out, filling the syringe with dark red blood. "Do you think that your other eye can double in size?" he asked the griffon while tapping the needle with the scalpel. He forced the needle into the griffon's other eye and started to push down on the plunger. "Let's find out!"

The griffon cried out and thrashed around, his eye starting to grow larger and leak blood and tears. When just over half of the syringe was empty, his eye popped, spraying a light shower of blood and some kind of clear fluid over Orion's front.

Orion seemed bored by this display of gore. "Eh, I've seen better."

"You... monster..."

Orion turned to see the second male staring at him with wide eyes. He smiled and put away the scalpel, trading it for a cylindrical device with a large screw in the middle and four barbed blades covering it. "Tell me what I want to know, and I'll make it quick and painful," Orion said in a voice shaky with excitement.

The griffon backed into the bars, never once taking his eyes off of Orion. "I- I w- won't-" but that's all Orion needed to hear.

Orion leaped forward and placed the strange device on the griffon's back, just between his wings. He pushed down on it roughly, and a high whirring sound was heard, like a dentist's drill.

And then the griffon started screaming. The device was drilling into his back, into his spine. It took only a second to break the skin, and hardly more than that to pass through the bone of his spine. Then he felt something cold jab into his eye. He lost sight on his right side from the needle.

Orion gave a quiet chuckle as he started pulling the plunger back, extracting the juices from his eye. The drilling mixed with the needle was enough to give Orion a painful erection.

When the needle was filled, all that was left of the eye was a tiny husk, much resembling a raisin.

Orion tapped a the device again and a horrible crunching sound was heard. The blades extended outwards, looking like a dragonfly's wings poking out of the side of the griffon. Orion pulled the device out, bringing with it a section of spine and what seemed like gallons of blood.

Orion turned to the last griffon, the female. "Tell me what I want to know, or I'll do even more fun things with you," he said in a quiet voice, walking towards her at a very slow pace.

She was crying, in fear and anger. She backed away from him, bumping into the bars of the cell. As he loomed over her, she shrank lower to the ground. "I... I can't tell you..." she whimpered.

Orion nodded slowly, emptying the syringe and wiping of the device on her head feathers. He put the two items in his pouch again. "Well, I'd be lying if I said I was sad to hear that," he told her, his smile so wide that his was tearing his lips. He reached into a pocket in his robes and pulled out a packet of small blue pills. On the front were the words: Triple overtime

She stared at the packet, not sure what to make of it.

Orion leaned down close to her and whispered into her ear. "I hope you're a screamer."

It took her a second to put two and two together, and when she did, her pupils shrunk down to pinpricks. "No..."

Orion nodded at her slowly, his eyes never leaving her own. "Yes..."

***

Roland, Sharpe, and Luna were walking through the dark hallways of the dungeon. Not really sure where Orion went, they decided it be best to just find the griffons first and Orion later.

Sharpe led them around another corner, sniffing for the griffons. "Y'know, this would have been easier if we took the same door down here," he complained.

Luna groaned, not for the first time, and replied. "Yes, but if we took the same route, we would draw suspicion from the guards, who would report to my sister. And after that it would only be a matter of time before she showed up and stopped us."

Sharpe hissed in annoyance. "I could take her," he grumbled to himself.

Luna glared but kept her mouth shut as they turned another corner.

Sharpe looked back at them. "I smell them, but I can smell Orion too. I... think he's with them."

Both Roland and Luna started walking much faster than before. If Orion had his way with the three of them, it wasn't going to be pretty. Not at all...

Sharpe turned a final corner and stopped dead in his tracks. His two traveling companions turned the corner and did the same.

At the sight in front of them, Luna almost puked.

One of the male griffons was missing both eyes and was bleeding heavily from the empty sockets, one of them still having the optical nerve hanging out. He was pawing at the ground, whimpering pitifully like a lost puppy.

The other male was missing one eye and most of his back. A large bloody hole was where his wings used to be, and they could see what was left of his spine and ribs through the blood and gore.

But what was almost more worrying was that the female was laying at an odd angle on her stomach, her back legs spread so far apart that it looked painful. Her tail was ripped off, blood soaking her back end where other things weren't. She was drooling heavily, almost foaming as if she were rabid and her tongue was hanging out of the side of her beak.

And then there was Orion, sitting on a bench outside of the cell, sipping a warm cup of coffee. Where he got the coffee, well, that's a mystery. But it was pretty easy to figure out what he did to the griffons.

Roland looked at Orion with a slack jaw. "You didn't..." he almost whispered.

Orion looked up from his cup of coffee and smiled at them stupidly. "Hey guys! I learned all kinds of cool stuff from them!"

Luna was on him like a wolverine was on an injured rabbit. "HATH THOU GONE INSANE?!?! WE TOLD THEE THERE WAS TO BE NO TORTURING OF OUR PRISONERS!!!!" she raged in her Royal Canterlot voice, slipping back into the olden tongue.

The force of which she yelled made Orion slide down the bench. But he still had his coffee!

Orion smiled at her and tossed his cup behind him, it shattering somewhere in the darkness. He waved a finger in front of her face. "Ah, but you said not in the castle. This is the dungeon!" he yelled, throwing his arms to the sides of him.

Luna's eye twitched in pure rage and hatred for him.

The blind griffon made a particularly loud noise, ruining the moment.

Orion scowled at him and waved his hand at him. "Oh, shut up, you big crybaby!"

The griffon's head imploded violently, then exploded. Luna, who was standing too close to the bars, was covered in bits of brain, pieces of shattered skull, and lots and lots of blood.

This time, she did puke.

Author's Note

I got me a new keyboard, so it's taken me a bit to actually get used to typing on this thing. Sorry for the prolonged chapter, but I had shit to do in the real world.

On The Road Again

There was a trench in the castle floor. It was only about a foot deep, but that was one more thing that the workers had to fix. It was in the shape of a large oval, and was surrounding the table in the dining hall where Celestia and the alien crew were sitting. This hole was created by the hooves of a pacing pony. A particularly perplexed purple perfectionist pacing pony. This pony's name? Twilight Sparkle. Why was she pacing? Because one of the greatest dangers known to ponykind was recently let loose amongst the populace of Equestria and beyond. And this worries her. And when things worry her, she paces. It helps calm her down... Well, not really, but she likes to think that it does.

Twilight came around for her seven-thousandth-and-something-or-other-hundredth pass. She let out a low whine. "Ooohhh, what are we going to do? What are we going to do?!"

Celestia, Roland, and Sharpe were standing over the table looking at a map of Equestria and the surrounding areas. Celestia was searching for where roads and trials cross, while Roland was checking caravan routes. Sharpe was do research on how many ponies lived in the area and how many travelers go through there.

Sharpe hissed loudly. "You aren't doing anything, so shut the hell up!"

Celestia glared at him. "You will not speak to her in such a manner," she warned him.

Sharpe gave her a cold look. "You know I'm right, but you still refuse to admit it."

She narrowed her eyes further.

He scoffed at her. "No wonder your rule is so weak. You don't know what the hell you're doing," he said to himself.

Roland tried to stop the two from arguing, yet again, but was ignored.

Lily and Megan were going over types of animals that are native to the area. They think- or at least Lily thought- that if Orion knew where the larger, more dangerous animals were, he would gravitate towards that area. Finding where the predators nest at could help find him in their eyes.

Seth and Faiz was trying to find out how the land worked and see if they could find the easiest routes around the country. Orion never liked to work too much, so an easy path could locate him.

Larry was trying to do... something... maybe... But now it seems as if not getting enough alcohol was taking its toll, leaving him a quivering mess half-conscious on the floor.

The Royal Equestrian Guard has been sent out on scouting assignments to try to find anything to help find his location. So far they've decided he most likely went North, but they can't be sure. They're going off what they already know, not what they could find. It seems that they were tracking a ghost, because not a single print, torn piece of cloth, hair, or anything could be found. It's like he disappeared into thin air.

"It's your fault he's gone!" Sharpe yelled at Celestia.

"It's his own fault! He broke the laws I set and he payed for it!" Celestia countered.

"Exactly! The laws you set! If you just let us do things our way we wouldn't be having this problem right now!"

"Your ways are wrong! No being, whether guilty or not, should be tortured!"

"If they need to be tortured then they should be!"

"Argh! I cannot believe how stubborn and blind you are!"

"Me?! You're some omnipotent horse god! Talk about blind, you can't even find Orion without you're 'magic powers' and now we're going to be fighting the griffons without our best chance!"

"I am not omnipotent, Sharpe! If I was I would have simply sent you away before you crashed on this planet!"

"Ooh, good comeback, really. Don't remark on the topic of your people dying because of you, oh no. Tell us more about how you dislike the brutal honesty of somebody who's right!"

"It's not 'honesty' it's rage-fulled stupidity!"

There was a loud explosion as Sharpe tried to kill Celestia with about four frag grenades strung together. Luckily for both parties, she guessed that they were dangerous and threw them towards the nearest window.

"Enough of this shit!" Roland roared over everything in the room.

Every eye turned to him. Except for Sharpe and Celestia who were too busy trying to kill each other with how fierce they could make their glares.

"Sharpe!"

Sharpe ignored him.

"Sharpe, listen to me damn it!"

Sharpe still ignored him.

"If you don't listen to me I'll make you listen!"

Sharpe was still busy staring down the princess.

Roland growled and pulled his blaster pistol from its holster.

Sharpe pulled his S-5 faster than what could be perceived and fired off two shots. One knocked the gun out of Roland's hand, and the other shot sent the gun across the room. He then leveled his blaster with Roland's head, still looking at Celestia. "I am listening, quick draw."

Roland scowled but spoke. "If you're so angry about this, why don't you go find him yourself? You're a better tracker than anybody else in the Galaxy, right? So go out there and find him. And once you do, you can bring him back here."

Sharpe hissed softly. "I will go out there. But just because you suggested it, I'm going to take extra long finding him. And even longer bringing him back. If I even do bring him back. Hell, I might just kill him for being an idiot."

Roland and Celestia breathed easier when he put his blaster back in his holster.

He walked out of the room and spoke without looking back. "Try not to die too horribly while I'm gone." Then he slammed the double doors behind him.

Roland sighed and shook his head as he leaned back over the map on the table. "Now, if I were a mentally unstable killer with god-like power and a sex drive higher than the stars above, plus a repressed urge to burn and destroy the Galaxy, where would I be...?"

Everybody gave him an odd look at the description of Orion. Then they thought about it, and realized that Roland's description pretty much summed Orion up pretty nicely.

***

"Camptown racers sing this song, all the do-da day! All the do-da day! All the do-da day! Camptown racers sing this song, all the do-da daaaaaaaaaay!~"

At the end of his performance, he took a bow to an invisible audience. "Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week! Well, except for Monday and Friday! And weekends! Or any day that ends in Y! But other than that, I'll be here all week!"

He jumped off of the large rock that he was using as a stage and continued down the path. He was heading North-ish. He knew the direction of the Griffon Kingdom, and where the capitol was. He just wasn't sure if he as going straight there or not. Meh, it's more about the journey, right? Yes, and some journey it's been...

On the first day he got into a fight with a bear! It was awesome! That night he had a lot to eat.

On the second day he came across this nice family of farmers that let him eat lunch with them. And all he had to do was paint a barn! With the help of the Force, that barn was done in like, twenty minutes, maybe. At dinner he met the rest of the family. There was a colt, a younger stallion, and a young mare.

The mare was actually a filly, but the parents called her a mare on account of her first heat coming that day. So dinner was a grand affair, with soup, bread, veggies and fruits, and all kinds of other stuff. Desert was even better! Mmm... pie... There was such a good pie...

But it was kind of ruined because the filly was grinding herself into her chair the whole time. The smell was making everybody scrunch up their noses and make a sour face. Well, the family, anyway. At the very first hint of the smell Orion twitched violently and sent his fork into the wall. The father wanted him gone immediately, but the wife said he could stay. After all, there were bears out there, and Orion was scared of bears.

That night Orion snuck into the filly's room and helped her with her problem. It was a very messy affair. Pun intended.

One the third day he spent much of the morning limping. He had no idea that heat could do that to a female. Especially a little filly! And for some weird reason there was a bright glow during their problem solving session and the filly got her magic tattoo. And the way she knew how to work him... It made him wish that one of the princesses was in heat. Or both of them. What a good way to die...

On the fourth day Orion met a nice old mare who taught him how to fish. He spent most of the day catching fish of every size, shape, and color. She also taught him how to cook the fish he caught. That night he had a large dinner once again. He thanked the mare the only way he thought was appropriate: He caught her fish his his very own hook. She waved him off the next day with a happy smile.

It was the fifth day now and Orion was walking down the same path he has been walking down since the beginning of his journey. He was smiling happily as he went through the memories of everything that had happened to him during his adventure. The filly was his favorite. There was just this sense of wrongness that made it infinitely better.

He was so lost in his memories that he didn't even see the three ponies in front of him.

"Howdy there, stranger!"

Orion stopped and looked up from the ground to see a dull yellow stallion carrying a pack full of camping supplies. Behind him were two younger females, both carrying their own packs of supplies. The difference was that the stallion looked excited to be here while the two mares looked like they'd rather be home talking with their friends or at the mall shopping for fashionable accessories.

"Howdy!" the stallion said again.

"Hi!" Orion said happily, smiling stupidly at him.

The stallion smiled back. "Howdy! Say, do you know where we can find a good place to make a camp around here?"

Orion noticed that he really wasn't saying howdy correctly. In fact, he sounded as if he was from some little town or something and was trying his hand- er, hoof- at camping. He seemed to have a tired look to him and had dirt in places that any normal person wouldn't want dirt in.

Orion pointed to where the path branched about a hundred feet up the path. "I'm going to the Griffon Kingdoms! I didn't see any good places to camp, but you can come with me and go on an adventure!"

The stallion put a hoof to his chin. "No offense meant stranger, but I don't really know if it would be safe to follow you. I don''t really know you, after all."

Orion smiled. "Well, the way I came is just farms and bears, so if you don't find a safe place to sleep you'll get chomped," Orion said happily.

He frowned at that. "Bears, huh...?"

One of the girls spoke up. "Dad, I don't really know how to fight a bear off, and I know that you don't, so let's follow him."

He looked back to his daughters. Then back to Orion. "And you could fight off a bear?" he asked skeptically.

Orion nodded his head. "Yep! Just a few days ago I slaughtered and ate one! It was fucking good!"

The stallion took a few steps back. "Y- you eat... meat?"

Orion nodded again. "Yep! I've eaten more animals that I can even count. And I even ate people a few times!"

He looked at Orion in disgust. "I don't want my family to associate with a predator."

"Oh come on, dad!"

Orion looked over him and to his children. He smiled at them.

The two girls walked up to their father and argued with him about what to do. Both of the girls said that it's too dangerous to be out here without any protection, while the father said he's the protection. The argument went on for a good ten minutes before the dad finally gave up and said that they would follow him until they found a decent place to camp, then they were back to being on their own. He also told them that they would be walking right next to him the whole time.

***

Four hours of walking later, and dear old dad could barely keep up with Orion and the two girls. They had introduced themselves as Mayflower and Sunny. Both being born in the summer, and only a year apart, their parents decided to name them for the time they were brought in to the world.

"So, what happened after you saw her?" Mayflower asked in awe.

Orion laughed. "Well, the hull to the place was breached and she was smacked into the visor. I laughed and laughed at her face being smooshed up against the glass that way."

All three of them shared a laugh as the father, ever lagging behind, groaned in anger. This was supposed to be a time for his family to bond with each other, not a stranger they met on the road darn it!

"Yeah, but after that she kinda came after me and tried to kill me."

They both gasped. "What?!" they breathed out in unison.

He nodded. "Yep! She set a belt of thermal detonators in the reactor and set it to blow."

"Wait, I thought the station was dormant?" Sunny said.

He nodded. "Yeah, it was. But it still had fuel left in it from when it could still operate. And plus, most ships nowadays don't rely solely on one fuel source, so it's easy to get a ship, or in this case, a space station, with a dormant, but still active reactor."

They both made "Oohhh" sounds at his explanation.

He continued. "Yeah, but I was able to get out of there. On my way down one of the hallways I ran into a rouge Imperial scout. I held him up, we shared information, and we went on our way to the hangar bay."

Mayflower piped up. "What's a hangar bay?" she asked.

"Ah, excellent question!" he said in a posh voice while rubbing her mane roughly.

She grumbled while her sister laughed at her.

Orion started to speak in some kind of mockery of an upper-class Trottingham accent, making it sound as annoying as possible. "You see, my little ponies. A hangar bay is a sectioned off area of the hangar. The hangar is where smaller vessels land and take off from, whether they be in a land-based building, or a large Starship. And a hangar bay is a specific area of that hangar where a specific type of ship may land or take off from. So, creating a hangar bay in a hangar makes it a much more organized and seemly affair when it comes to the comings-and-goings of ships, goods, and peoples."

Both of them looked at him dumbly.

He clapped his hands together loudly. "So! We got to the hangar bay and saw that a few old TIE Interceptors were still in working condition. He took one, I took one, and off we went. And now here we are, the two of us close friends, going on all sorts of adventures and racking up a kill count higher than the stars above!

"Whoa..." was the double utterance from the girls listening.

Orion suddenly held his hand out. "Wait!"

They all stopped and went wide-eyed. Everything in the woods seemed to silence as he did this.

He pointed his finger just ahead of them, at a single tree surrounded by lush grass. "That right there is a perfect camping spot."

The stallion caught up with him and looked to where Orion was pointing. "There's a tree there," he said in a whiny voice.

Orion waved his hand, and the tree took flight, sailing above the clouds, free like a bird, but far less graceful. Then it hit the ground somewhere. He shook his head. "No there's not!"

All three ponies gaped at the new hole in the ground where the tree used to be.

Orion walked to the spot and sat down on the ground, enjoying the warming light of the late afternoon Sun.

***

"I got dinner!~" Orion screamed as he walked through the trees and back into the small camp where the ponies were waiting.

The two girls whooped while the dad grumbled his thanks. He had tried to cook a pot of vegetables, but they overcooked and turned into a greenish-brown paste. It tasted kind of like toothpaste, but not nearly as fresh.

Orion threw a line of large fish on the rack above the fire.

All three ponies cringed back away from it.

"Uh, ponies don't eat meat," the father said. He never really mentioned his name, so "the father" is what he's now officially called.

Orion wagged a finger at him. "Not true, my four-legged friend. I ran into a nice old mare on my travels who ate fish. She told me it was the easiest way to survive out here, seeing as fish are so plentiful around here. And plus, fish aren't really meat. They're some kind of condensed protein, or something." Orion then used the force to tear off the scales, fins, tails and heads of all the fish. After they were clean, he set them on the rack in a line to cook properly. "I don't really have a stove, so this is the only way I can cook these."

The father gave Orion a dirty look. "I refuse to let my daughters eat something that was alive once!"

Orion snorted and poked the fire with a stick. "All plants are alive. Hell, most of the vegetables you were cooking were alive. You just boiled them to death." He looked up at the father with his goofy smile. "All ponies either eat or cook plants while they're still alive. The only difference between us is that I have the decency to kill what I'm going to eat so I'm not torturing it with fire."

Both of the girls looked a little bit uncomfortable with their new knowledge that they were eating something while it was still alive.

The father snorted a laugh at him. "Oh yeah? And how do you know all of this? How do you know what's alive and what's not?"

Orion flipped the fish over on the other side, getting a nice sizzling sound from them. "The Force tells me. The Force lives within all things, and I can see it inside of them."

The father laughed. "What a load of horse apples!"

"Actually, it's true."

They all turned to see an enormous shape emerge from the growing darkness of the forest. How something so big hid in the shadows like that, they didn't know.

Orion waved to the shape. "Hi Sharpe! Want some fish?!"

The giant reptilian man stood at the edge of the firelight, gazing at the camp's occupants.

"It's a monster!" cried the father. He then grabbed a burning stick from the fire and ran at it. "Cmm rhet shum!" he yelled around the stick.

Sharpe pulled his S-5 out and shot the stallion right in the head.

Both of the girls screamed.

Orion stood up and yelled at Sharpe. "Why'd you do that?!"

Sharpe put his blaster away and walked over to Orion. "It's time to go."

Orion crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not leaving. I need to get to the Griffon Kingdoms!"

Sharpe grabbed Orion by the front of his shirt. "No. We're going back to Canterlot. Now!"

Orion pushed Sharpe away. He was no longer smiling, but looked slightly angry. "I'm doing this to protect my girls, Sharpe. If you get in my way, I'll end you."

The two of them stared at each other for a very long time, neither of them moving or blinking.

Sharpe sighed and angrily shook his head. "Fine, but if you have to go, I'm coming with you to make sure you don't blow up half the planet."

Orion smiled again. "Sure thing!"

"But what do we do with these two?" Sharpe gestured to the two girls hugging each other in fear.

They both looked at them for a while.

Orion hummed in thought. "Well, I was planning on fucking them. I could give you one and I could take the other?" he suggested.

Sharpe rubbed his chin. "Sure, why not?"

Both of the girls felt a cold dread enter their souls.

***

Sharpe and Orion walked down the path, both of them munching on strips of fish and meat.

"It was weird. Like a person, but different. I don't know, it was the same, but different," Sharpe said to Orion.

Orion laughed. "I know what you mean. But if you really want a rush, try a bat pony! Those things are awesome!"

Sharpe looked at Orion. "Bat pony?"

Orion swallowed a large chunk of red meat. "Yeah. You know, the ones with fuzzy ears and eyes like yours? Those ones know exactly what they're doing."

Sharpe swallowed a whole fish and nodded. "I'll have to try one some time."

Orion took on a slightly saddened look. "Yeah... Hey Sharpe?"

Sharpe looked at him.

"Did we really have to kill them? I mean, I'm in total support of the death of their father. But did we really have to kill those two?"

Sharpe let out a hiss. "They were witnesses. We couldn't let them go, they would have told somebody what I did."

Orion nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess. But we could have kept them with us. Like a pet kinda, but instead of petting them, we could have fucked them. I could have tied them to us and then we could have had a pair of sex slaves."

Sharpe used his tongue to pull another chunk of meat into his mouth. "Yes, we could have. But then we wouldn't have all this food."

Orion shrugged. "I guess... But when we get to the Griffon Kingdom, we should see if we can get a few females."

Sharpe nodded. "Sure. Griffons are more my style anyways. Killing, maiming, slaughtering? I like females that know how to take somebody's life," he said, pulling his lips back into a smile.

Orion laughed. "Yeah, griffons are awesome. You just gotta watch out for their tails. Both of the griffons I fucked almost choked me out with them."

Both Orion and Sharpe laughed at the thought of having a griffon in bed with them, knowing that when they got to the Griffon Kingdoms they would both probably get strangled into unconsciousness before they left.

***

Celestia sighed and took another drink of her coffee. Well, she tried to, but the cup was empty. This had to be the hundredth time that day that she had an empty coffee cup. She felt a sudden spike of anger take over and she threw the cup against the wall, almost decapitating Roland.

"Hey!" Roland yelled at her. "If you wanted more coffee, just ask! Don't go throwing shit at me!"

Celestia pushed her anger down inside of her. "I'm sorry Roland, I'm just tired."

Roland went back to staring at the map of Equestria. The only difference now being the map of the Griffon Kingdoms directly above it. "I've been awake just as long as you have. I know you're tired."

Celestia sighed and put her head down on the table, staring at the map of trade routes and populated areas in the Northern borders. "I've never stayed awake this long before. Not even when I was younger. It feels like my body is falling off of me."

Roland sighed. "Go get some sleep. I'll take over for now, and when you or Luna are feeling better you can help me again."

Celestia looked at him. His eyes weren't just bloodshot, they were completely red. His hair didn't seem as lively as before, now it looked more like dead grass than its normal blond color. Even his skin looked like it was taking on a yellow tint, and his veins were visible on his face.

She righted herself and strode over to where he was standing hunched over the map. She put both of her hooves around him and tugged him away from the table. "You need rest. We both do."

Roland attempted to push her away, but now that the table wasn't supporting most of his weight, he stumbled and fell on the floor. "I need to find Orion first. He could be killing the griffons an-"

Celestia put her hoof over his mouth to silence him. "I'm going to my room to sleep, and I'm bringing you with me."

He groaned and closed his eyes. "I just need a cold shower, and I'll be fine. Just set me down in a bathtub. Just put m... put me... in..." he stopped talking and a quiet snoring sound started to come from his mouth.

Celestia smiled and lifted him up with her magic. Both of them needed desperately to sleep, and Celestia's bed was perfect for that task.

The Griffon Lands

"I spy, with my little eye, something... blue!"

"The sky."

"Right! Now, I spy, with my little eye, something... green!"

"The grass."

"Wow, you got it! Okay, a harder one this time. I spy, with my little eye, something... wispy!"

"The clouds."

"Holy crap, how are you so good at this game?!"

"We've been walking down this road for an entire day and night now, and the only thing we've seen are rocks, bushes and trees. The only things around us that's a different texture are the clouds!"

"Hmm, that's true... Okay, I got one you'll never guess!"

"Please shut up."

"I spy, with my little eye, something... bustling!"

"Th- Wait, what? Bustling?"

"Yeah, look!"

"Huh, would you look at that..."

Orion and Sharpe were standing on a small dirt road looking over a ridge. Just below them was a small village, full of ponies and griffons. More of the latter were present, and the few ponies present had a somewhat downcast look to them. The houses were made of some kind of stone, and most of the small marketplace was a mixture of logs and thatch. It looked sturdy, but hastily built at the same time.

Orion pointed to the small town. "Let's go down there! I see pies on that stand!"

Just as Orion jumped, Sharpe caught him by the back of his robes and held him back. "No! We can't just run down there, you idiot." He set Orion down and put his hand to his chin. "I think we should just ignore this village all together. We have food and drink, and we don't need anything else other than that. So let's jus-"

"Adventure!~"

And before Sharpe could do anything, Orion rushed forward, jumping off of the small cliff and right at the town.

Sharpe slapped his face and groaned. "I hate my life." He took an easier way down, choosing to slowly climb down the edge of the cliff.

***

It was a beautiful day in the village. The sun wasn't too bright thanks to the clouds, but it wasn't terribly cold. It was Winter, but the griffons have long since decided to manipulate the weather to favor the seasons, instead of suffering through them. This way, they could raise crops most of the year, and farm animals even longer.

If it weren't for their beloved king, as well as his only male heir dying, they could almost go as far as saying they were in a golden age. The one thing that could make these times better would be a war. Griffons loved war almost as much as they loved prosperity. War brought good fortune, wealth, food, land, slaves, and other riches. But most of all, it brought honor to those who fought. Even those who died were remembered as great warriors that would be celebrated with feasts and dancing for generations to come.

Even small villages like this one thrived from wars. Actually, small towns like this one do especially well, for they are right on the border of other lands. And even though it's only a rumor, talk of a war with the ponies of Equestria has all of the townsfolk excited as they do their daily chores.

One such chore was stocking up on food for the next few weeks in the market. Even though Winter is far less troublesome for the griffons, it still isn't something to be taken lightly.

The middle-aged griffon placed her bits on the stand as she stuffed her bag with an assortment of chopped meats. Lamb, pork, chicken, it was all so delicious. Just as she was thanking the vendor, she spied a small berry pie sitting behind a basket of juicy red apples. "How much for the berry pie?"

The vendor eyed the pie for a second before answering. "Five bits," he grumbled.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Five bits? That's a bit steep for a tiny little pie, isn't it?"

He shrugged. "It's harder to find good berries in Winter," he calmly explained.

She let out a low growl as she eyed the pie again. It did look good... "I'll give you three bits for it."

He raised a feathery brow at her. "Miss, I'm not negotiating prices on a pie. Five bits, or nothing."

She looked at the pie and a bit of drool leaked out of her beak. "Four bits, or I'm walking."

He just stared blankly at her.

She growled at him viciously. "You're only doing this because I'm a female!"

He gave a snort of laughter. "So? What if I am? Females aren't supposed to be wasting money on pies, they're supposed to be in my kitchen or in my bed."

She snarled at him and struck him across his beak with her talons. "Do you have any idea who I am, boy?! I'm battlemaiden Twilly! I fought in the Wyvern Wars! I was one of the Hard Blades that took down Y'Sylvis!"

His eyes widened slightly as she screamed at him. He was so surprised by her yelling that he didn't even see her tail snaking across the stand and snag the pie. "I- I'm sorry, miss. I didn't know you were a warrior..."

She let out a barking laugh. "Boy, you wouldn't know a warrior if she stuck a battle ax up your rear end!" She then walked away, "accidentally" knocking over a barrel of his cabbages.

Then the barrel exploded into a cloud of dust and green mess.

Everybody looked at the sudden explosion with wide-eyed curiosity. Was there some kind of explosive in the barrel? Was it an attempt on her life? Why was there a large cloaked figure staring at Twilly like some kind of demented serial killer?

Twilly looked at the figure standing in front of her with a raised brow. She'd seen some strange things in her time, but this was by far the strangest. It was like a mostly-hairless ape dressed in a seer's garb. But underneath that she could clearly see some kind of light armor. She gave it a slow look up and down. "Now, what have we here?" she mumbled to herself.

The figure smiled stupidly and waved at her. "Hi! I'm God!"

She looked at him oddly. "You're a god?"

He put a hand to his chin. "I'm not sure... I was technically married to a goddess for a few hours before I killed her, so I might not be God, but I can still be a normal god. Does killing another god make me God? Or does it just make me a better god? What kind of benefits does a god have over God? Does God have more stuff than a god? Hmm, I don't know..." He blinked and stared at her. "Anyway, my name is Orion! Can I eat your pie?!"

The sound of gasps and laughter broke out across the market.

Twilly's feathers took on a slightly red hue. "W- what did you just say to me?!"

He got closer to her. "That pie you stole from the market stand over there," he said, jerking his thumb towards a now-furious vendor. "Can I have it? It looks really good!"

She took a step back from him. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're crazy! You destroyed his cabbages!" she accused him.

He waved his hand at her and she felt a tug on her tail. The next thing everybody saw was a small berry pie floating towards Orion. He caught it in his hand and took a bite from it. "Snitching on people isn't nice, y'know. That'll cost you one pie to remain my friend!"

The people of the town now formed a loose ring around Orion and Twilly. From this crowd a burly griffon stepped forward. He was taller than most griffons and had feathers of a charcoal color. His eyes were narrowed to dangerous slits. He carried a large battle ax on his back and wore light metal armor.

Orion stuffed the entire pie in his mouth and waved at the griffon.

The griffon came slightly closer to Orion. "I don't know what or who you are, but if you think you can steal from this town and destroy the property of an honest vendor, you're sadly mistaken," he said in a gravelly voice.

Orion smiled at him. "Are you the mayor, or just doing your civic duties to the fullest of your abilities?"

He snarled at Orion. "My name is Rage, and I'm the appointed Jarl of this town."

Orion snickered at him, drawing gasps from the crowd. "You're name is Rage? Why? Did somebody steal your slippers and it pissed you off?"

Rage reached behind him and gripped the handle of his ax.

Orion laughed even harder. "Oh no, wait! Somebody put an embarrassing picture of you somewhere everybody saw it! Was it you taking it up the ass, or w-"

The blade of the ax came faster than Orion could see. It hit him on the chest so hard he felt it. Then the blade shattered into tiny pieces and fell on the ground.

Rage, as well as everybody in the crowd, looked at the broken blade in disbelief. "That ax cut through the scales of a Wyvern..." He looked up at a smiling Orion.

He pulled back his fist. "My turn!" he screamed. Then he punched Rage in the face and sent him flying backwards into one of the vendor huts, making fruits, veggies, meat, and other items scatter in every direction.

The crowd around Orion all went wide-eyed at his display of strength.

Rage stumbled out of the small hut, shaking his head and groaning. "What are you made of, steel?"

Orion poked his sides experimentally. "I think the Human body is like, seventy percent water, actually."

Rage looked at Orion for a long time, not really believing he just got his flank busted by this foolish thing in front of him. Then he laughed. "Boy, I haven't been hit like that since the Wyvern Wars! Anyone that can pack a punch like that is okay in my books!" He walked over to Orion and pushed him in front of Twilly.

She looked at Orion. Then she looked at Rage. "What am I supposed to do with him?"

Rage laughed at her. "Well, he likes you. Treat our new guest to a feast and a good night!"

She recoiled from him in shock. "Are you serious?! I'm not doing that!"

He raised a brow at her and smirked. "Are you refusing a direct order from your Jarl, Twilly?"

She snarled at him. "He doesn't even like me! All he did was talk to me for a second and take my berry pie!"

Rage laughed. "See, you're already one step ahead of the game!"

She let out a loud growl and looked to Orion. "Tell him! You don't actually like me, do you?"

Orion's eyes flashed brightly and he gave her a predatory smile. He let out a rumbling growl that seemed to vibrate through the ground and into her bones.

Rage backed away from him slightly, chuckling to himself. "I think that's a yes."

"Actually, that's just one of his ways of saying he's horny."

Everybody turned to the voice and took a step back.

Orion waved at Sharpe. "Hi Sharpe!"

Sharpe walked into the marketplace and looked around. "Quaint. Anyways, we'll have to take that feast to go. We're on a mission, and until we're done we can't take a break. Thanks though." He turned towards a path leading out of town and started walking. "C'mon, we need to keep moving."

Orion looked between Sharpe and Twilly a couple times. "Eh... No. I'm going to stay here for the night." He pulled Twilly into a tight hug that made her growl at him and stood his ground. "You can go, but I'm staying here for now."

Sharpe turned around and scowled. "You wanted to come here in the first place! Now that we're this close we have to keep going!"

Orion gave him a confused look. "Why? This place has free food and women!"

Twilly growled at him again and tried to kick free of his death grip.

Sharpe growled and stormed up to Orion. He leaned into his face and whispered to him. "We're being followed, and if we stay here we might get attacked!"

Orion pushed the griffon woman into Sharpe. "Let them come!" he yelled. He turned to the surrounding wilderness and cupped his hands over his mouth to amplify his voice. "You hear me, you little pricks?! Come and get me! I'll be waiting for you!"

The town was silent as he stood facing the woods.

He then turned around and looked at Sharpe. "There, now there's no reason why we can't stay here! They know we know they know we know they're on to us! So now, we just have to outwit them!" he rubbed his hands together and chuckled like an old-timey villain from the picture shows.

Sharpe tried to slap his own face but realized he was still holding the griffon. He looked at her with a deep scowl and barred his teeth at her.

She pulled away from him and stayed at a safe distance.

Rage clapped his wings together and smiled happily at the amusing turn of events. "Well, now that it's settled, Orion and his companion will be staying in our town for the night! I expect everyone here to make them feel welcome!"

Griffons came up to Orion and patted him on the back, talked with him, complimented him on his strength, questioned him about his armor, and many other things. The Jarl had all of his cooks start on the process of setting up a feast for him and his friend. After all, it's not every day that Rage meets someone that can knock him around like a ragdoll. And anybody who can, he wants as a friend. They could be invaluable in the upcoming war. It's only a matter of time before Equestria would fall, and if he makes friends with these creatures, he could get farther than ever than if he were alone.

***

Sharpe stood to the side of everything, glaring at Orion as he laughed and joked with the crowd of griffons. They drank strong ale and ate deliciously cooked food as they enjoyed themselves. The griffons boasted about slaying Wyverns and trolls and minotaurs, and conquering lands, and pillaging and looting and raping and killing. Orion told them of world destroying powers at the tips of his fingers, of killing thousands with a wave of his hand, of becoming a god and traveling through time, of seeing more stars, planets, and peoples grow and die than he can even count, of dying twice and coming back to life both times, of sleeping with more species of aliens than there are hairs on his chin, of sailing through space, nebulae, asteroid fields, of flying higher than any bird, and going deeper into the sea than any normal fish, of seeing strange and fantastic creatures that people only find in your worst nightmares or in old horror stories, of wielding energy in its rawest and purest form and cutting down hundreds of foes with it, of his friends fighting beside him, of those friends occasionally falling in battle or dying in other ways. After he finished his tales, the griffons stopped boasting about what they did and contemplated what it really meant to be a warrior.

One of the griffons just finished telling a joke about another's mother and the entire table broke out laughing. Then the insulted griffon tackled the offending griffon to the ground and a bloody fight broke out as everybody else started passing out bits and cheering them on.

Orion downed his thirty-somethingth pitcher of ale and tore off another strip of meat from the leg of lamb. "Twenty credits on the fat one!"

A few griffons cheered while a few others jeered.

The fight went on until one of the griffons took hold of a carving knife and stabbed the other in the neck with it. He then pounced on the other griffon and proceeded to stab him to death. The whole room cheered loud enough to hurt all of their ears.

Orion jumped up and yelled in victory. "Give me my money, you feathery bastards!"

All of the losing griffons grumbled and handed him small pouches of jingling coins. They didn't look happy.

Orion sat back down and took another swig of his empty pitcher. "Aw, I'm all out!"

The griffons booed and called over a serving girl.

It was a small earth pony mare. She had a light purple coat and a dusty grey mane and tail. Her eyes her on the floor, but an observant person could make out golden irises. Her Cutie mark was a small purple flower with a golden center on top of a bright green leaf. She quickly trotted over to Orion with a wooden tray on her back carrying what looked like too many things. She didn't say anything, only waited for Orion to take his drink.

Orion grabbed five pitchers and set them on the table. He rubbed the mare's head softly. "Thanks for the drink!"

She gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. "Uh... y- your welcome, sir," she said quickly.

All of the griffons at Orion's table got quiet.

Orion smiled at her. "You don't have to call me sir, y'know. Just call me Orion!" he said cheerily.

One of the griffons put his talon on Orion's shoulder. "You don't have to be nice to her. She's a slave, worth less than an animal."

Orion looked to the griffon. Then he looked back at the mare. "You're a slave?"

She nodded and looked back down at the ground.

Orion let a ghost of a smile grace his lips. Not his normal smile, but one filled with malicious intent. "How many slaves are there in this town?"

She bit her lip. "Seventeen," she said quietly.

Orion nodded very slowly. "Nice... Very nice..."

The mare stood there, feeling Orion's eyes burn into her. She started sweating slightly.

He put his hand on her head and ruffled her mane roughly. "Stay close to this building, I want to talk with you in a little bit."

She nodded and spoke. "Yes, sir."

Orion gave her a tiny flick in the head with his forefinger. "I told you, call me Orion."

She nodded and backed away from the table. "Yes, s- Yes, Orion."

Orion smiled his normal smile and faced the griffons again. "Now, who wants to see me chug these drinks?!"

All of the griffons cheered.

***

Sharpe picked up a roasted piglet and stuffed the back half into his mouth. He ripped it into shreds and pulverized the bones in seconds with his teeth, allowing him to swallow everything. He heard steps to his side but he knew who it was. He remembered the smell from before.

"So, enjoying yourself?" Twilly asked.

Sharpe ate a pear whole. "No."

She sat down next to him, regarding him curiously. "Why not?"

Sharpe drank an entire pitcher of ale with one gulp. "I have my reasons."

She stared at him with a small smile. "Is it the same reason you're over here, all by yourself?"

Sharpe looked at her with a cold glare. "You're smarter than you look."

Twilly laughed and took what was left of the roasted piglet for herself. "I will admit to hearing that one a few times."

Sharpe's glare didn't waver. "Have you also heard that you're rude?"

Her smile dropped from her face. "Yes, I have. Have you ever heard that you're ugly?"

Sharpe flicked his tongue at her and hissed quietly. "Once or twice, but only from people who are dead now."

She scowled at him. "Is that a threat?"

He leaned towards her, getting right in her face. "I don't make threats, I make promises."

She pushed her forehead into his and tried to push him back, but discovered that it would be easier to move a building. "If you think you can take me on, make a move."

He pushed her back with his head, almost making her fall over. "It would be too easy killing you. Like crushing a roach."

She snarled at him viciously. "I could kill you with my wings tied behind my back and only one eye open."

He stood up and pushed her back against the wall. "You couldn't even hit me if you had an army behind you."

She pushed her talons into him, but couldn't move him. "I don't need an army, I only need my fist and your face."

He hissed at her.

She growled at him.

They both glared intensely at each other for a full minute.

Twilly clacked her beak and gave a low growl. "Do you wanna go back to my place and rut my brains out?"

Sharpe barred his teeth and hissed at her. "More than anything else in the world."

***

The serving mare was bringing more ale to the table of griffons where Jarl Rage was sitting. She had to be extra careful around him. He didn't like ponies, and would look for an excuse to hurt her.

She slowly approached the table carrying at least a dozen pitchers on her back. Each griffon took one. All the way down the table until she got to Rage. She could feel his eyes on her neck as she stood there. Sweat stared running down her back and her sides, making her worry if the tray would slip off of her back before he got his drink. She almost cried in joy when he lifted a pitcher off of the tray on her back and turned back to his conversation. She let a smile cross her lips as she moved to the last griffon at the table. Then that smile disappeared when he knocked over his pitcher and swore loudly.

A large griffon with more scars than Rage and a wild look about him got up from the table and stood in front of her, giving her a look that could kill. "You did that on purpose!"

She looked up at him in fear as she backed away. "N- no, sir, I didn't! I'm sorry! I'll g-"

He took a step forward, almost bumping into her. "And now you call me a liar?!"

She shook her head furiously. "No, sir! I'm not doing anything like that! I-"

He pushed her over harshly and stood towering over her. "You just did it again!" He pulled a wicked dagger out of a sheath on his leg and held it in front of her face. "I've had enough of your stupidity! I'm going to-"

"You ain't gonna do shit!"

The griffon, the mare, and everybody else looked to see Orion glaring at the griffon holding the dagger.

The griffon waved the blade at him. "You stay out of this! She insulted my honor and now she's going to pay!"

Orion smiled coldly. "Insulted your honor? How's this? Your mother was a pigeon and your father was a mangy alley cat. You'll never have a proper child and every woman you sleep with will think of other men when you're in them. You're the guy your friends make fun of when they're drunk. Oh, and for my grand finale! While the war was going on, you were too busy crying into your pigeon-mother's feathers from fear to fight, and everybody you know thinks you're a great, big, pussy for it."

The room was so quiet you could hear pleasurable screaming in the distance.

"I'll kill you!" The griffon jumped into the air and charged at Orion, pointing the dagger right at his heart.

Orion's hand lifted into the air as he made a crushing gesture with his fist. When he did this the griffon stopped his flight and put his talons to his neck, making choking noises. Orion closed his fist and turned his hand to the side, making the griffons neck collapse and his head to spin completely around.

Orion looked at the mare, still on the ground and waved her over to him. "C'mon, I think it's time to have that talk."

The mare looked around and saw that every eye in the building was on her. She pushed herself up and trotted quickly over to Orion's side and stayed as close as possible, scarcely even caring that she was brushing up against him.

Together they walked out of the building and out into the chilly night. They kept going until they were far away from anything but a small group of buildings that looked to be some sort of food storage barns.

Orion turned to her and looked her in the eyes, smiling like a lunatic. "Where are the slaves kept?" he asked her.

She pointed a little ways down the street at a large stone barn. "Over there. All of the slaves are kept in there."

Orion put his hand on her head. "Stay close to me." He walked with her down the road to the barn. It was run down. Not just run down, but run down to the point that it would be easier to knock it down and make a new one instead of trying to repair this one. The grey stones were cracked and the roof had holes in it. Even the door was broken, barely hanging on its hinges.

He pushed the door open and they both went inside, and instantly all of the slaves inside cowered to the back of the room from a stranger in their home. The only time anyone except another slave came in there it was to drag one of them off to the chopping block.

Orion closed the door behind him and looked around. There were indeed seventeen of them. Twelve mares- counting the one standing with him- and five stallions. Odd... He looked to the mare that followed him inside. "They let the mares and stallions live together?"

She took on a pitying look. "All of the stallion are gelded when they're brought here. They usually only take mares, but if they need workers then they keep them around."

Orion nodded slowly and rubbed his chin slowly. He then pointed to the huddle of bodies in the back of the barn. "All you stallions, go help with the cooks at the feast!"

There was a rushed mumble of compliance as the stallions ran out of the building with their heads down and their tails between their legs.

By now, all of the other slaves figured that Orion wasn't there to kill them and started to come closer to get a better look. They had never seen a being like him before. Was he their new owner? Was he there to set them free? Was he there to give them better living spaces and more food?!

Orion smiled at all of them. "Now, I want all of you to line up, nice and neatly."

They did as they were told, even the one who was walking with him.

Orion walked up and down the line of them, carefully observing each and every one of them. He would put his hand to their foreheads, or check their teeth, or sometimes even look into their eyes like he was looking for something. He stopped in front of an oddly young mare. He looked at her for a few seconds, making her start to worry. "How old are you?"

She looked to the mare next to her and received a panicked look. "Uh, I- I'm fifteen ,sir," she replied meekly. When Orion didn't respond she smiled shyly at him.

Orion "Hm"ed and kept walking down the line. When he got to the end he took two steps back and cleared his throat, making them all look at him. He held up his hand and swirled his finger in circles.

They all turned around, letting him inspect their backsides. As Orion's boot's echoed off of the floor, they all became more and more red in the face. They didn't know what he was doing behind them, but they did know that they weren't allowed to turn around to look. Was we simply inspecting them, or was he doing something... else? As he went down the line, the air seemed to be getting hotter as they began to panic more and more. He reached the end of the line once more, ending where he started. His silence made them wish that a screaming griffon were here to make some kind of noise.

He clapped loudly.

All of the mares either shrieked or screamed in fear.

He spoke in a serious voice, but they could hear the smile. "Now, I'm sure you all work very hard here. And I know that you don't get the appreciation you deserve. So that's where I come in."

All of them felt a spike of cold run up their spine.

Orion spoke in a silky voice, like he were whispering. "I'm here to let you know that you are appreciated. Well, by me, at least. And so, even though I know you may not completely agree with my method of giving thanks, I'll tell you one thing before I start: You will enjoy this immensely. This, I can guarantee. Now, I want you all to lower your chests to the ground and keep your flanks in the air."

They all did as they were told, letting their front halves rest on the wooden floor as their flanks were raised in the air.

Orion chuckled darkly. "Now, move your tails and let me get a better look at what I'm working with."

They had no choice but to do as he told them. They were slaves, and he was giving the orders.

Orion smiled widely at what he saw. "Very, very nice... I think these are some of the best examples of pony cunt I've ever seen! You girls should be proud of yourselves. You have exquisite bodies, and I'll enjoy making you feel appreciated."

All of them wanted to tell him no, but they couldn't.

The sound of straps was heard, then Orion was behind the first mare. It was the serving mare.

She dared to look behind her. Just a peek. She saw something like she's never believed existed before. Despite knowing that she had no choice in this, a shiver of excitement went through her. She thought she'd seen big. Well, she's never seen Orion.

He grabbed both flanks in his hands and pulled her onto him as hard as he could.

She screamed.

***

Orion was sitting in the corner of the barn, using a bottle of water and a small bar of soap he got from his backpack to wash his upper-half. He had never had twelve women at once before., and now that he has, he needed to clean himself. He was humming to himself happily and just putting his shirt back on as a pair of hooves wrapped around his waist.

Orion smiled. "I figured you'd be asleep a while longer. You must have done that before."

The serving mare, Violet, hummed happily as she kissed the back of his neck. "Never with more than one other person."

Orion laughed. "Well, you're a natural at orgies then."

She kissed him again. "Thanks for that. I'm sure that's a compliment somewhere."

Orion pulled away and put on his armor. He stood up and looked at her with a goofy smile. "Well, me and Sharpe need to keep moving. I'll see you later!" He started to walk away but was stopped.

Violet was grabbing his hand and holding him back. "Orion... please don't leave me here."

He looked back at her. "Is it really that bad here?"

She bit her lip. "I- I think they'll kill me when you leave. It's because of me that that griffon died, and they'll kill me and-" she quickly cut herself off.

Orion turned to fully face her. "And?"

Violet sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

Orion looked up and saw a loft full of hay. He also saw a pair of eyes staring at him.

Violet called to the eyes. "It's okay to come down now. Come meet Orion."

The pair of eyes jumped forward, becoming a head, then a body, then a full pony. Then that pony shakily landed on the ground next to her mother and tucked her tiny pegasus wings against her sides. She had a dark blue coat with a shiny black mane and tail with golden eyes. Eyes like her mother has.

Orion stared at the tiny filly with a bright smile. "Is that... your daughter?" Orion asked slowly.

Violet nodded and pulled the pegasus closer to her with a hoof. "I had her just a few months before they made me a slave. Since then I've had to hide her and feed her as much as I could without anypony noticing food missing from the tables or vendors. It's hardest during the Winter."

Orion went down to one knee and smiled at the filly as she tried to hide behind her mother's leg. "Hey, tiny! What's your name?"

The filly mumbled an answer that Orion couldn't hear.

He leaned in closer to her and smiled wider. "What was that?"

The filly mumbled her name once again, but Orion still couldn't hear her.

He leaned in uncomfortably close and smiled so wide it hurt to look at. "You don't have to be scared of me, tiny pony. I only eat the naughty ponies, like your mother!" he looked up at a blushing Violet before leaning in closer to the filly. "Have you been a nice tiny pony? If you have, I'll give you a present!~"

The filly looked up at her mother. Then back to Orion. "I'm a nice pony," she mumbled in a sweet voice.

Orion closed one eye and used the other to look at every inch of her body. "Are you sure you're a nice pony? Nice ponies tell other people their names. If they don't people think they're rude, and rude ponies aren't nice ponies!"

The filly giggled softly, almost making a quiet music with her voice. "My name is Harmony," she told Orion.

Orion reached out and snatched the filly up, holding her in front of his manically smiling face. "Excellent! Now I know who to give this tickle to!" he yelled.

Harmony's eyes went wide.

Orion put his mouth on her belly and blew out air, making an interesting sound and causing the filly to giggle and laugh uncontrollably. While he did this Violet watched with a mixture of adoration and amazement. "OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!!!!!!"

Harmony laughed loudly at the ferocious tickling, unable to keep herself under control.

Orion took his mouth away from her belly and started nibbling on her hooves "You're tiny pony hooves are delicious! They taste like candy and cake! I must eat them!"

She laughed and tried to kick at Orion. "N- no! Those are m- my h- ho- hooves! You can't ea- eat them!"

Orion gave a ridiculous roar and pulled his head away from her. "I won't even chew you! I'm going to let my tasting guts absorb your tastiness!" He then stuffed her into his shirt, leaving only her head poking out the front, smiling widely. He rubbed her head and turned his smile at Violet. She was smiling and crying at the same time.

She smiled so wide it looked like it hurt her. "I haven't heard her laugh in so long... Thank you for that."

Orion smiled wider. "It's my pleasure, really. I have two girls back in Equestria waiting for me to come home." He took on a dark look. "But I can't go home to them until I'm done here."

She smiled at Orion pityingly. "I'm sorry. I can only imagine what that's like."

Orion waved a hand at her and smiled again. "Eh, don't worry about it. I'll be back with them before too long." He looked down at Harmony, still smiling while comfortably sitting in his shirt. "I'd do anything to get back to them..."

Violet trotted over to him and put her hoof on his leg. "Then you know how I feel," she said, desperation entering her voice. "Please, take me and Harmony with you. It doesn't matter where, just away from here."

Orion looked at Violet. He smiled devilishly. "And what will you do for me in return?"

***

Sharpe and Orion were running down the path as fast as they could go with Orion carrying Violet on his shoulder and Harmony in his shirt.

"You're an idiot!" Sharpe yelled as he fired another bolt of energy at the perusing griffons.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Violet had been repeating herself for the last ten minutes of sprinting, saying that same thing over and over again.

Sharpe fired off two more rounds, dropping two more griffons. "You just thought that they would be okay with insulting the Jarl's family, killing his brother, then trying to steal his slave?! How could you think that was a good idea?!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Sharpe threw a frag grenade over his shoulder and shot it as it passed a group of griffons, killing most of them and maiming the others. "I'm not talking to you! But now that I am, you're lucky that Orion's carrying you, because I would have left you by now!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Sharpe turned his rifle to rapid fire and dropped most of the remaining griffons. "If you ever do this again, I'm going to skin you alive!"

"I'm sorry!"

Sharpe looked down the scope of his rifle and saw the furious face of Twilly. He smiled to himself as he pulled the trigger. "Sorry, it never would have worked out. It was you, not me." The rest of the griffons were easy targets, dropping out of the sky as bolts mangled their bodies.

Violet threw her head back and screamed into the air. "I'M SORRY!!!!"

Wing It

"Ice!"

"No..."

"Icicles!"

"No..."

"Iceballs!"

"No..."

"Ice crystals!"

"No..."

"Ice monsters!"

"No..."

"It's your fur."

"Hey, it's not your turn!"

"Aw, I wanted to get it..."

"Don't worry baby girl, I'll give you another one that only you can get. How's that sound?"

"Okay!"

"All right... Hmm... Ah, here we go! I've grown, but I've never been alive. I'm cold, but I have no feeling. I'm in the sky, but in the ground. I wear a cap, but have no head. From plates I've come, but no food you'll find on me. What am I?"

"Uh..."

"It's-"

"Don't you dare spoil this one for her."

"And you'll stop me?"

"I'll make Orion do it for me."

"I hate you."

"I know you do."

Orion was leading the four of them down the road, ever closer to the capitol of the Griffon Kingdoms, Gryphus. It wasn't much of a road, only being a snow-scorched path in the mountains with a sheer drop on one side and snow covered pine trees on the other. There was the occasional bush to liven things up for them, but other than that, the only other things besides the rocks and trees was the snow blowing on the wind. Even the Sun seemed to be cold, as it was hiding behind the clouds and keeping its warmth to itself.

They passed a traveling vendor at one point. From him they stole fresh veggies and fruit for Violet and Harmony, and plenty of liquor for Orion and Sharpe. They also decided to kill him when he tried to stop them, so they had a cart and an ox to pull it. Surprisingly enough, oxen aren't sentient like cows are. So while Orion was somewhere else protecting Harmony and Violet's innocence- well, relative innocence in Violet's case- Sharpe was making more food from the griffon and stocking the cart for travel, never once having to try to subdue the lumbering creature, as it never once tried to do anything other than munch on some frozen grass. So now the four of them had a cart to store anything too heavy to carry in, and an ox to eat should they run out of food before they complete their mission.

To pass the time, Orion was playing games with his new best friend Harmony. She was an expert at Eye Spy, and she was great at guessing games. But his favorite thing about her was that she was incredibly good at solving riddles. Orion liked riddles, and anybody who could solve his riddles was his best friend. Except for Sharpe, he cheats. Stupid Sharpe...

Harmony was riding in the front of Orion's shirt, as per usual. It was warm and cozy, and she didn't have to walk or run except for when they played chasing games. This was her favorite thing about Orion besides how funny he was. He always made sure she was comfortable, even when he wasn't.

Sharpe and Violet were walking behind Orion, letting the gentle wind break on him so they would be shielded from it. Sharpe wasn't actually cold at all, he just didn't feel like having wind blown in his face.

Harmony tapped her chin with her hoof while she thought about what he could be talking about. Sometimes his riddles were easy, but other times they were ridiculously hard. But eventually, she always got them. Sometimes it just took a few minutes... or hours...

She looked around to see if he was talking about something around them, but all she saw was snow and trees. It couldn't be snow, and trees were alive... She looked farther away, trying to see if was something on the horizon he might be talking about. All she saw was clouds, more snow and mountains. Wait... Mountains...

She looked at Orion with a wide smile. "I got it!" she cheered.

He looked at her with a happy smile. "Really? That was fast. What is it?"

She then used her mind to logically explain why she thought it was what it was. She once guessed correctly, but when she didn't explain why she guessed it, Orion said she still failed. So now whenever she made a guess, she had to explain herself. "It's the mountains! They're cold, but they can't feel it. It's really high up, but it comes from the ground. It has snow on top, but mountains don't have a head. And since we haven't seen anything alive but the trees, no food is around here!" She finished with a winning smile and a happy gleam in her eyes.

Orion smiled even wider. "Wonderful job Harmony! But you forgot one thing. How did they come from plates?" he asked mysteriously.

She gasped. She hadn't thought about that. Plates? How were mountains on plates?! They weren't food! "Uh..." She smiled at him sweetly. "Pass...?"

He laughed loudly and rubbed her head. He loved that about her. She was so sweet he almost got a sugar rush just from looking at her. "Sorry, no dice! How mountains normally work is that when the plates that the upper crust of the planet rests on hit together, sometimes one gets trapped on top, and it makes all the rocks and things go up. This makes a mountain. Sometimes it can also make a volcano if a pocket of magma gets pushed up too. Or sometimes just a really big bump and an earthquake."

She made a slightly annoyed face at losing the game just because she didn't know that. It seemed like useless information to her. "How was I supposed to know that..." she mumbled angrily.

Orion fished a preserved stick of cinnamon that he got from the trader they killed out of his pocket and waved it in front of her face. "If you want to be angry at me, you must not want to eat this," he sang.

She perked up instantly and grabbed the treat in Orion's hands, but he didn't let go so her small amount of strength wasn't enough to do anything but break a small bit off. She popped the small piece into her mouth and moaned at the delicious taste of it. She tried to get more but Orion wasn't having it.

"Uh uh uh!" he tutted. "You can't go getting upset over the small things in life. If you do, you'll go crazy. Like I did!" he said cheerily.

She groaned, but accepted the terms. "Okay, fine, I won't get mad at small things! Can I have the rest now?" she asked hopefully.

Orion looked back to Violet, who gave him a smile and a shake of her head. He patted Harmony's head and pocketed the rest of the cinnamon treat. "After dinner maybe. If you were actually walking to burn off calories, I would let you. But lazy ponies turn into fat ponies, and everybody would be sad if somebody as adorable as you got chubby."

A groan was heard from the back of the group.

"Speaking of walking," growled Sharpe, "how much farther until we actually get to the capitol?"

Orion put his hand to his chin and scratched at his goatee. "Well, if my best guess and gut feelings are both correct, we should get there sometime before the end of tomorrow."

Sharpe groaned again. "We've been going on guesswork this whole time? I thought you had a map!" he yelled.

Orion chuckled dumbly. "Ha ha ha, I can't read."

Sharpe used every ounce of restraint in his body not to shoot him in the back of the head right there. "Yes, you can. I've seen you do it! If you don't have a map, how did you even know to come North?!"

Orion tapped the side of his nose with his finger. "Magic."

Sharpe growled dangerously at him. "Orion, as much as I didn't like hearing you and your equine companion romping in the bushes for the past two nights, I'd like to get this sorry excuse of an adventure done with so we can get back to figuring out how to leave this stupid planet. You may be fine having relations with horses, but I'd like to get back to normal, not-pony females."

Orion looked at Sharpe oddly. "You sound weird when you censor yourself."

Harmony looked at her mother. "Mom, what's 'romping' mean?"

Violet glared at Sharpe for teaching her daughter that word. "I'll tell you when you're older."

She looked up at Orion. "What's 'having relations' mean?"

Orion looked at Violet before answering. "It's the same as romping, but a prettier way to say it. And also, something for you to know when you're older."

Harmony grumbled and crossed her hooves in front her chest, though she had some difficulty making everyone see it from being inside of Orion's shirt.

Orion rubbed behind her ears gently, making her utter happy noises. "That's it little filly, no desert for you after dinner," he scolded.

She gasped and made a terrified face at him. "No! I didn't mean it! I was only mad for a second, I swear!" She made the most pitiful face Orion had ever seen, complete with huge watery eyes, drooping ears, quivering lip, and sniffling. "Pwease? I'm sowwy I was angwy. Pwease let me have desert? Pweeeeaaasse?" She snuggled up closer to him, trying to get her face as close as she could to his.

He smiled serenely at her, relaxing his eyes until they were half closed. "No."

"If I were you, I'd let her have desert for her last meal."

The group stopped as the voice spoke. They saw a griffon come out of the trees in front of them, fully clad in metal armor and with more weapons than even Sharpe had. It was a female by its voice, maybe a young adult. Most of her features were blocked by her armor, but they could see an icy blue color radiating from her eyes. There were also about twenty other griffons, some landing on the ground from high-altitude flight, some coming out of the trees. They all surrounded the group.

Orion waved at the female in front of him. "Hi!"

She blinked. "Uh... We're here because you have a bounty on your head. If you're smart, surrender now and we'll spare your friend and slaves. If you fight us, we'll kill you all."

Orion laughed. "Good one! Oh, do a knock knock joke now! I like those!"

One of the griffons behind them spoke up in a youthful voice. "Knock knock!"

Orion turned around and smiled at him. "Who's there?"

"Boo!"

"Boo who?"

"Aw, don't cry, I swear I'll kill you quickly!"

All of the griffons laughed at his joke. So did Orion.

Orion laughed at the joke. It was funny after all. "Okay, that was good. My turn now! Knock knock!"

The griffons stopped laughing, now exchanging confused looks. "Uh, who's there?" he asked.

Orion smiled straightened out. "Kill!"

The griffon let out a nervous laugh suddenly, not entirely sure why. "Heh, uhm, k- kill who?"

Orion pointed at him with his forefinger. "Kill you!" Then he waved finger at him.

The griffon's chest caved in violently and he got thrown off the cliff. After a few seconds they all heard a distant thudding noise on the wind.

Orion turned back to the leader of the group. "Close your eyes Harmony."

She closed her eyes tightly, fearing what would come next.

Orion raised both hands towards the griffons in front of him. "Cover your ears."

Harmony clamped her hooves over her ears as she let out a quiet whimper.

Orion smiled at he felt the lightning form on his fingertips. For the sake of Harmony, he would end this quickly.

The first flash made Harmony jump in fear. She was being jostled around in Orion's shirt as he fought off the bounty hunters. She heard Sharpe yell something, so she knew he was helping. She also heard her mom scream. Her mom...

She could feel the tears leaking out of her eyes and onto Orion. She hadn't cried in such a long time, but she felt so afraid. She knew they were fighting, but Orion told her not to look. Orion told her not to listen. But even though she was covering her ears she could hear the screaming. Everypony was screaming. All the griffons were screaming. Some sounded scared or angry, but some of them sounded like they were in pain. She heard Sharpe scream, then Orion must have jumped because she felt like she was going up, but she went up more than she thought was normal. When they came back down she felt something warm splash on her. She could smell it. It was like when she had a bad cut, but a lot worse.

Everything was quiet for a few seconds, so she opened her eyes. She saw the griffon flying straight at Orion. Straight at her. She saw Orion push his hand out at it, then he made a fist. She saw the griffon's head collapse inside of its body, going down the neck and inside of the chest.

She tried to close her eyes again, but the tears were coming so much that she couldn't. The world was blurry, and she could hear screaming and yelling again. Orion was yelling, but he sounded happy. She thought she saw another griffon, but it was too blurry. More warm stuff splattered on her face and everything started to turn red. She screamed when she realized it was blood on her face, mixing with her tears.

She used her hooves to wipe the blood off her face, and now she could hear the screaming clearly.

"Watch out!"

"Get the big one!"

"He's too strong! Run!"

"Just die already!"

"Orion, behind you!"

"Die!"

"I'm going to skull-fuck your corpse, you feathery bitch!"

Harmony put her hooves back on her ears, muting the screams enough so that she couldn't hear what they were. She was shaking so hard that it hurt her body down to her bones. She wasn't cold, but she felt like the warmth had left her.

The screaming was over now. They screaming had been over for more than a minute but she refused to open her eyes. She could hear Orion and Sharpe talking. She heard her mom too. Orion started moving very quickly. After a few minutes she felt his hand on her head.

She opened her eyes.

Orion stared down into her teary eyes with a pained expression. She was covered in griffon blood. She was crying profusely. She had screamed during the fight. Orion knew she must have seen something.

As she looked into his eyes a new wave of tears came.

He pulled her into his arms and sat on the ground against a tree to block the wind. He held her in his arms in an almost crushing grip as she wept into his chest. He could feel her trying to put her hooves around his neck, but she was too small. She was younger than either of his girls by years. He pulled her under his chin as he thought about his own girls. He missed them, but he had to focus on Harmony right now. Somebody so young should never have to witness something like that.

After a while Sharpe and Violet found him a little ways off the road holding her.

Sharpe started setting up a fire so they didn't freeze to death.

Violet joined in on comforting her daughter.

Orion released Harmony so Violet could hold her. He then pulled both of them against him, Harmony being right back against his chest and trying to hold him.

Violet looked Orion in the eye, silently thanking him for being there for Harmony.

That night, nobody slept.

***

The clouds blocked out the late afternoon sunlight, leaving the grey dimness all they could use to see in. The mornings are the best time to travel because the Sun wasn't behind clouds yet. But that morning Sharpe was listening for more would-be killers, Orion was comforting Violet and Harmony, and Violet and Harmony were taking turns weeping. They also lost their ox and their cart full of supplies in the attack, so they had a small breakfast to conserve their limited stock of food.

All of this led to Sharpe being irritable, Orion being damp, Violet being drowsy, and Harmony had been claimed by unconsciousness about an hour after they started walking again.

Speaking of walking...

Orion was humming a familiar tune to himself when he felt a tug on his robes. He looked down to see Violet staring at him. Even thought she was tired, she was still eyeing him intensely. "Yes?"

"I was just wondering if you... well..." She bit her lip and looked away. "Nothing, sorry I said anything."

Orion continued walking right beside her so he could use one hand to play with her ear. He smiled a little wider as he heard the pleased noises she made as he did this. "Y'know, you don't have to be worried about saying anything to me. You're not really a slave anymore, so I won't treat you like one. Well, you're my sex slave, but that's another story for another time."

She looked at him oddly. "I thought you said I would be free?"

He laughed. "Would you like it if I sent you on your way and never slept with you again?" he asked her, smiling brightly.

She looked torn between answers for a while. "Well... eventually... I would like to find a nice stallion and maybe start a family again..."

Orion laughed. "And I'm sure you will. But until then..." He leaned down close to her face, his eyes glowing brightly. "You're mine, and I'll do whatever I want with you."

Her eyes widened considerably. "Y- you freed me just so you can use me...? I- I thought..."

He chuckled darkly. "You thought what? I took you with me, not freed you. During this quest, you're going to to be my slave. Once we get back to Equestria, I'll set you and your daughter up with a suite at the castle and make sure you live in luxury for the rest of your lives. But between now and then, I'm going to fuck you as much as I want, and you won't stop me."

Her eyes watered up, but she didn't cry. "I thought you were my friend..."

He smiled at her happily. "I am! We're friends with benefits!" He rubbed her head, messing up her mane.

She looked at the ground. "Friends don't use friends just because they can."

He laughed and made her look at him. "Do you not like it when I screw you?"

A rosy blood graced her cheeks as she tried to find her words.

Orion laughed again. "See? You like it, I like it, we don't have to worry about pregnancy, and the circle is complete!"

She blushed even harder at this. "Keep it down! Harmony is sleeping in your shirt, and I don't want her hearing any of this."

He smiled his goofy smile and nodded. "Okay. So, now that we got that out of the way, didn't you have a question or something?"

She thought for a second before she remembered. "I did. I was just wondering if you actually had a plan for how to deal with the griffons once we get to Gryphus."

Orion laughed. "Well, actually, I just thought I'd..." He stuck his hand into his pocket, pulling a pair of sunglasses and putting them on. "Wing it."

The sound of a hoof meeting a face echoed on the wind down the mountain path.

***

The sound of a hoof meeting a face echoed on the wind, traveling for miles down the mountain passes. It echoed off of the mountain, the trees, the mountain next to the mountain the group was on, and inside of a large cave.

The sound of this was not unheard by the cave's inhabitant.

The thing rose its head, looking out of the cave with its many eyes. The sound was not far away. It got to its feet and lumbered out of the cave. Sniffing the air, it discovered which way its food was.

Just before it made off towards its next meal, it tore one of the large pine trees out of the ground to use as a club. Weapon at the ready, it slowly lumbered towards what would soon be food.

Author's Note

Wow Orion, and here I was thinking you were doing this for the good of innocents. Well, now that I think about it, you are evil. So, meh. I've seen you do worse.

May You All Forever Rest In Peace

The wind had picked up and was now blowing directly into their faces. It no longer mattered who was behind who, as everybody was getting slapped in the face with snow and ice. The wind was bad enough to make the trees sway side-to-side and the snow already on the ground swirl around them. The combination of this, plus the tired state they were in made for very poor hiking conditions.

Orion held his hands out in front of him to try to stop the winds, but most of it was just finding its way straight to his face. Sharpe was doing the same thing, while Violet, without hands, had to endure the winds.

Harmony was tucked deep inside of Orion's shirt, trying desperately to stay warm. In the beginning of the wind storm, she was succeeding in this task. But as fate would have it, Orion's body heat alone could not keep her comfortably warm throughout the onslaught of snow. "C- can we s- st- op ye- t?" she asked as best she could with chattering teeth.

Orion shook his head, not really caring that nobody could see him do it. "Nope! If we stop to rest, we might freeze to death. And that would be bad." It was hard to hear him over the winds, but yelling seemed to solve that problem.

Sharpe groaned. "How long until we get to the capitol?! I'm freezing my ass off!"

Orion laughed. "If it freezes off, how will you use the bathroom? Would you still have a hole? Hmm..."

"Can you please not talk about that in front of my daughter?" Violet complained loudly.

Orion laughed again. "You know, sometimes a little profanity can be good for you. You should try it some time!" He laughed until he stopped suddenly, taking on a serious look.

Everybody looked at him strangely.

"What's wrong?" Violet asked. "Is there a prob-"

He stuck his hand out, silencing her. He looked around him, lingering on the trees. "No... It couldn't be..."

Sharpe walked to his side. "Is something wrong?"

Orion nodded slowly. "I... can feel it..."

Sharpe narrowed his eyes at the trees. "Feel what?"

Orion frowned. "There's... There's something out there... It's not here, but it's there."

Sharpe scanned the trees for any sign of danger, letting no tree go un-looked. "What is it?"

Orion frowned even more. "I don't know. It feels dangerous... But... I can't tell if it's sentient or not."

"What do you mean?" Sharpe asked, looking behind him, over the cliff.

Orion shook his head. "I don't know. It's not an animal, but it doesn't feel intelligent, like a person. I can feel something wrong with it. Anger... Hate... Hunger... Greed..."

Sharpe put his hand on his blaster. "Should we be worried?"

Orion looked behind him. "I don't know where it is... It's like it's all around us, but it's not there... It's coming closer, but I can't tell if it wants us or is just passing..."

Sharpe nudged Orion forward. "If something's coming, we need to keep moving."

Orion nodded and ushered Violet closer to him.

She looked up at him. "What's wrong? Are we going to be all right?"

Orion closed his eyes as he walked. "It has so much anger in it, but not for anything. It's... It's like anger is what makes it." He looked at her, opening his eyes and looking completely serious. "If it comes across us, it'll attack."

She shuddered, not from the cold. "What is it?" she asked, looking around her.

He shook his head. "Can you imagine a person, but also an animal? It's like it knows what it's doing, but there's no outstanding thoughts or feelings. Like, there's no directed emotions or feelings, just an air around it. Can you feel it?"

"No, but I'm kinda scared," said Harmony from inside his shirt.

Orion patted the lump that was Harmony and gave a forced smile. But upon realizing that she had no way of seeing him, he dropped it. "Don't worry, if anything tries to hurt you, I'll turn it into soup."

Violet frowned. "That's not a very pleasant thing to picture, you know..."

Orion chuckled dryly. "Paste then."

Sharpe growled slightly. "Y'know, if something is following us, we might want to be quiet."

Orion breathed in, then exhaling shakily to try to stay calm.

Sharpe turned around and eyed him. "What's wrong?"

Orion took in a shaky breath. "I don't know... It's like I can feel it inside me. I can feel... something... It's like a fist squeezing my head."

Sharpe stopped walking. "Should we stop?"

Orion nodded. "Whatever it is, it'll find us even if we keep moving. It's coming closer to us, and I don't think we'll be able to hide from it."

"Mom?" Harmony called.

Violet pressed herself against Orion. "I'm here sweetie."

"I'm scared."

Orion walked into the treeline and propped himself up against a tree. His companions followed his example, finding a comfy looking tree and leaning against it.

Violet shivered. "How are you two not freezing?"

Sharpe was scanning the forest for any kind of danger. "I can regenerate my body at extremely high speeds, so I can put my organs in overdrive and not have to worry about anything. With this, my body works almost ten times faster than a normal Human, so it generates enough heat to keep me plenty warm."

Orion just shrugged. "I'm wearing underclothes, under-armor, armor, clothes, then my robes. Plus I've been through some pretty rough things, so I've been toughened up to the point where nothing really bothers me."

She scowled and shook her head. "Of course it's not a simple 'Oh, I have padded clothes'. No, it has to be something I can't share," she grumped.

Orion looked back to the path, staring intensely at the cliff edge.

Sharpe noticed this. "Is it over there?"

Orion frowned. "I... can hear it... It's... speaking..."

Sharpe walked over and crouched next to him. He put his hand on Orion's shoulder. "You need to tell me what's wrong. Is it coming from the cliff, or is it in the trees?"

Orion shook his head very slowly. "It's right here... It's over there... It's... everywhere... I can hear it, but it's not talking."

Sharpe shook him gently. "What are you saying? Where is it?!"

Orion ignored him. "I speak, but utter no words. I feel, but have no emotion. I see you, but am not near you. I know, but have no thoughts. What am I?" He put his hands over the lump in his shirt, Harmony. "I can see you, but you're not there..."

Sharpe shook him roughly now. "Orion, tell me what you're saying! I don't understand! Where is it?! What is it?! Can we kill it?!"

Orion looked at him. His eyes were wide and he looked like he had seen a ghost. "Where did the wind go?"

Sharpe's head shot up and he looked around the area quickly. He hadn't even noticed it before Orion said anything. The wind was no longer blowing, and everything was so silent they could hear the sounds of snow falling to the ground. That's when he saw it. A large boulder that hadn't been there before was dangerously close to Violet. The snow covering it didn't look right. Almost like a thick layer of matted white fur.

Sharpe calmly got up and reached behind him, grabbing his rifle. "Violet, slowly get up and walk towards me."

She raised a brow at him. "Why? What's wrong? Is it here?!"

Sharpe started easing his rifle off of his back. "Come over here. Right now. Just do as I said, and slowly get up and walk over here."

She started shaking violently as she slowly stood up.

Even with Sharpe's cybernetic's, he still didn't even see anything more than a blur of movement.

Violet blinked in confusion. Something didn't feel right. She looked behind her and her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. The entire back half of her body was missing, and she could see her lungs moving as she breathed. Then she lost her balance and fell.

Sharpe roared something in his own language as he fired into the thing's face. It didn't really translate, but it's something somebody screams when you feel rage beyond belief and you want kill the thing that caused that rage more than you want to live.

The burning energy scorched its fur and it let out something between a howl and a roar. He barely saw it as it charged him, and he just barely managed to get out of the way of a monstrous claw. As he jumped back, he got a look at its face. It had an elongated face with pale grey skin. At least ten eyes covered the top half of its head, and the rest of its face seemed to be a mouth. The bony structure that made up its nose was rimmed with miss-match teeth on the bottom, like the thing only had teeth as an after thought.

Sharpe fired into its head as he ran backwards as best he could. The thing was fast. Faster than he was. On top of that it was at least twelve feet high, and was built like a mountain.

Sharpe fired one more time and jumped behind a tree to avoid a crushing blow by a makeshift club made of an uprooted pine tree. It was swinging a fully grown pine tree like it was a twig, and even with armor, that would hurt. He looked out from behind the tree and saw more of it. The body looked like it was solid muscle covered with ridiculously thick white fur. The forearms of it were bulging grotesquely, small bits of bone tearing through flesh and making it look like its arms were spiked clubs. The same thing was true of its lower legs. Its shoulders also had bone fragments sticking through, only they were blunter and much more thick. It also had the hands and feet of a Human, only with seven fingers and six toes. It had two thumbs on either side of its hand, and all of the fingers and toes were the same size: strangely long with five joints in each one, save for the thumbs which had three joints.

Sharpe saw it glaring at him. He knew this thing must have some kind intelligence, because animals don't glare.

It roared at him, pulling back a thick outer-skin on its face and revealing a bony triple jaw. The top was whole, while the bottom was split in two. The top jaw had large, miss-match, tusk-like teeth, while the bottom two were little more than slabs of bone covered in sharp teeth that curved inwards.

Sharpe jumped out of the way of its massive fist, firing once more into its face. But for the love of God it wouldn't die! "Die you beastly fuck!"

That's when things went bad. First, Sharpe stumbled on a rock that was buried in snow. Then, he was punched into the sky by the monster. On his way up, he saw Harmony hiding in the branches of a large tree. But if she was there, then where was Orion? He couldn't think too long because he was hit by a tree while in mid-air- thrown by the monster- and sent spinning wildly out of control. On the way down, the monster slammed its fist into him, making him fly sideways and through multiple trees before finally stopping on a large rock.

Sharpe spit out a worrying amount of blood and hissed at the advancing creature. "Is that all you got, bitch?"

It let out a guttural sound that could almost pass as a growl and narrowed its multitude of eyes at him. It increased its pace until it was moving faster than Sharpe could wholly perceive.

He pulled out one of his special CryoBan grenades and activated it. He threw it at thing and almost smiled as it explode right where its face would be.

It howled and fell on the ground, sliding a few feet in the snow. It stopped just short of where Sharpe was leaning against a rock, a thick layer frozen chemicals covering it from head to toe.

Sharpe pushed himself up and walked over to where it lay. "Thought you could beat me, huh? Well, let me be the first and last to tell you. Fuck you, asshole!" he yelled, pulling out his S-5 and DL-44 heavy blaster pistols and firing repeatedly into its face. He shot until his fingers ached, which took about a full five minutes of rapidly pulling the triggers. When he was done, he looked into the black eyes of the monster.

The eyes blinked and looked back at him.

Sharpe swore and leveled his guns with its head again.

The thing roared and twisted its neck, shattering the frozen chemicals down to its chest. From there, it easily broke free of its frozen prison.

Sharpe got off about five shots before it swung its forearm intro his chest, causing a disheartening crunching sound to come from his ribs. He slammed into another tree and lost his breath. His body was already healing, but having his ribs puncture his lungs tends to cause some discomfort.

Looking at the charging form of this thing that was trying to kill him, he felt dread for the first time in a long, long time. He couldn't kill it, and he couldn't run from it. But then... he heard a wonderfully familiar sound.

Orion ran passed him, twin beams of pure, bright red energy at his sides. His hood was pulled up to the point of completely concealing his head, and his robes billowed out behind him. He ran so fast he was nothing more than a blur of red and black to the naked eye.

He ran straight at the monster, his lightsabers pointed out to his sides. He was on a collision course with it, and he was only getting faster as he went. When he was only a foot from it, he crossed the blades and went straight though it.

After Orion went though it, it stumbled forwards a few steps with a look of pain on its beastly face. It fell to one knee, and it fell apart. It had been cut straight through in a large X, cutting the arms off with part of the stomach, and the head with most of the chest.

Orion lifted the pieces in the air, sent ungodly amounts of lightening into them, and threw them in four different directions. They all went far enough to leave the range of sight of both of them. He extinguished his sabers and put the hilts back on his belt under his robes.

Sharpe stood up and walked over to Orion. "What was that thing? Why wouldn't it die?"

Orion shook his head and started walking forwards. "I don't know what it was, but it had a crazy strong connection with the Force."

Sharpe hissed in thought. "It was connected with the Force?"

Orion nodded. "Yeah. Connected to the point that it was using the connection to heal itself every time you hurt it. It would have taken another day of brutalizing it to even make it bleed."

Sharpe narrowed looked behind him, where the thing had been cut up. "So, it's dead now? You killed it?"

Orion nodded again. "Yeah, it's dead. I can still feel the Force seeping out of the pieces, but it's dead."

Sharpe looked back to Orion. "Is that why you were freaking out? You could feel the connection messing with your head?"

Orion shook his head. "No. I couldn't feel the connection, but I could feel the thing itself. I felt the air it had around it. You remember how the wind stopped? And how you didn't even realize it was there?"

Sharpe nodded.

"Well, it was putting out some kind of field that altered our perception. It was literally blinding us to it while it snuck up behind us. The only reason you saw it was because I let you know something was off. If I didn't do that, it would have killed you without you even knowing you died."

Sharpe shook his head. "I never thought something so fucked could happen on a planet like this." He put his hand on Orion's shoulder. "Orion, you know it killer her?"

He nodded slowly without saying anything.

Sharpe frowned. "Then... you know the girl's got nobody to look after her?"

Orion stopped underneath a familiar tree. "She does have somebody."

Sharpe scowled.

Orion looked up into the tree. "Harmony, come down! It's safe now!"

After a few seconds, a crying filly fluttered down from the highest branches and clung to Orion's neck. She was weeping into him, making his neck and shirt soaked with tears. "M- mom... S- sh- she's d-"

Orion put his arms around her. "Ssshh, don't worry Harmony, I got you. I stopped the monster. It's safe now."

Sharpe glared angrily at Orion.

Orion gave a look of finality to Sharpe.

***

Harmony continued crying as Orion walked away from the scene in the forest and back out onto the road. She cried through the storm, and through the calming winds of the evening. She cried as Orion carried her down the mountain and along the road. She cried as Orion went through a small town, drawing the unwanted attention of the griffons that lived there. She cried all the way to the large walls that wound around a huge city on the side of a mountain. She cried as they went through the city gates. She cried as at least a hundred city guards followed them from the gate to the city itself. She only stopped crying when Orion patted her on the back, drawing her attention.

She looked at him with bloodshot and teary eyes.

He smiled at her. Not a goofy smile, but a happy, genuine smile. "I don't mean to interrupt you, but I just wanted to let you know we're here."

She sniffled and looked around her. She was nothing short of amazed at what she saw. Griffon architecture, she had seen before. But this? This was like art compared to the small village she was in before Orion came along. The buildings were made of smooth grey stone slabs, and all of them had real roofs. Some of the buildings were small, but others were two, or three, or sometimes even four stories high and took up entire city blocks. The streets were paved with more of the grey stone slabs, however they weren't quite as smooth as the buildings were. All of the buildings were on outcrops of land, seeing as how they were on a mountain, so everything looked like it was stepped. A few buildings and roads were even cut into the mountain and led into some kind of cave system. And at the top of the city was an enormous castle-like structure. It was "castle-like", and not a castle because it was more like a mansion with aspects of a castle, than an actual castle.

Harmony's eyes went comically large as she took in all of this. From the buildings to the massive amount of griffon citizens walking or flying around, everything was overwhelming. She was too busy being amazed to keep crying.

Orion smiled at her while she was staring at everything. He was glad that she had stopped crying. Seeing her so sad had hurt him.

One of the city guards cleared her throat.

Orion turned to face her, a stupid smile on his face.

Sharpe groaned.

She walked up to Orion, her talon on her sword. "Excuse me-"

"I don't smell anything," Orion interrupted.

She glared at him. "I'm placing you under temporary arrest. You will be held in a protected cell until we figure out who you are."

Orion cocked his head to the side. "Why? Did I do something wrong? Is is against the rules to wear black after the holidays?"

She raised a brow at him. "No... You can wear black whenever you feel like it."

He donned a confused look. "But, why am I under arrest then? Am I not allowed to wear my hood?"

She got a confused look at that. "You can wear a hood whenever you want to. Any kind of clothing style if fine."

Orion smiled again. "Oh, so I'm not under arrest. Okay, bye then!" He turned around, but came face-to-blade with a spear.

The female griffon cleared her throat and spoke. "You're under arrest because you fit the description of the one who murdered our King perfectly. When we determine if it was you who did it, we will let you go, or execute you, depending on the decision."

Orion laughed heartily. "Oh, don't be silly! Of course it was me that killed your king! I crushed him into a ball and mutilated him! It was so much fun I got a hard-on from it!"

Harmony looked at him oddly. "What's a 'hard-on'?"

Orion smiled at her. "I'll tell you when you're older. But for now, if anybody but me talks about them in front of you I'll tear their eyes out and strangle them with the optical nerves." He smiled brightly at her.

She looked a little pale, but gave him a weak smile.

He looked back to the griffon and stuck his finger in her face, poking the tip of her beak. "Take me to your leader!"

***

"... And that is why you need to spruce up around here. This entire room looks like it came out of the Dark Ages! From the throne to the floor to the walls, everything needs to be remodeled and improved. Maybe look more regal, with just a hint of malice. That would really impress any commoner who you're receiving here! They would be too impressed to be ungrateful and stupid!

"Well, they would still be ungrateful and stupid, but that's just because they're commoners. And you know what they say! 'You can take the commoner out the slums, but you can never take the slums out of the commoner.' Well, unless of course you tear them open and cut out everything inside of them. But, that is both unsavory and tedious work for someone of your stature.

"And that brings the point of remodeling your palace back again for another spin! I think if we put in- say, for example- a torture chamber, it could help with the prison population and keep fear and order on the streets. After all, who wants to be tortured? Well, besides from sadomasochistic perverts that get off on floggings and whips... But that's besides the point! We can just kill that kind of filth and torture normal people! It would be good for the economy, adding new jobs to the city. And besides the point of upholding the law and instilling terror in your subjects, it would be great fun to watch! Eh, not that I'm into that sort of thing, of course... But just the thought of bringing justice to those who would wrong you and your kingdom makes my feathers all tingly. I'm sure that the sight would be even better..."

The Queen snorted loudly in her sleep, the sound echoing off the walls and startling the royal adviser.

He looked at the Queen and saw something was wrong with her eyes. They looked very... crayon-y... He sighed and drew his sword from its sheath. One good low swing and sparks were flying through the air.

Queen Gilda yelped and opened her eyes, the drawn-on ones smudging as she did so.

The royal adviser sighed again as he sheathed his weapon. "You know, if you were bored you could have just told me to stop talking and saved my breath. Tell me, what was the last thing you heard?"

Gilda gave an awkward look and blushed a little. "Uh, the part about how funny it would be if a shark at the fishermen that disobeyed me."

He frowned. "My Queen, that was over an hour ago. Are you telling me that for the last hour, everything I said went unheard? Oh, the tragedy... I had some wonderful ideas too..."

Gilda coughed into her talons. "Well, my guards heard you, and I'm sure they can fill me in on anything important."

He brightened immediately. "Oh, I forgot they were here! What a fantastic idea, my Queen! You are indeed much wiser than I!" He looked to the nearest guard. "Now, I want you to tell her everything I said that she slept through. And if you miss anything, I'll tie you to a table and grind your beak into powder."

The guard blinked at him.

The royal adviser gave a smile and a wave as he walked towards the door. "Don't mess up! I know where you sleep!"

And that's when he bumped into Orion.

The royal adviser looked up into the face of Orion, a curious look on his face. "Now, what have we here?" he mumbled to himself.

The guards nudged Orion forward with their spears. "This is the one who killed King Grey Down. We brought him and his companions here to face the judgement of the Queen."

The adviser looked at Orion with interest as he heard this. "Really? You killed the King?"

Orion smiled and nodded. "Yep! It was fun! The blood getting on all those peoples' faces was awesome!"

The adviser frowned a little. "I heard that you have killed King Grey Down in a rather... violet way. Tell me, how did you reduce him the to the size of a soccer ball? And for that matter, how did you force his legs into his stomach?"

Orion smiled mysteriously, giving him an odd look. "All answers can be solved with peanut butter."

The adviser frowned more deeply at this. "So, insanity is it? Well it would explain how you could stomach such a brutal display. But how did you crush him? Surely you're not that strong?"

Orion kept the mysterious smile, only turning his head so it looked like he changed facial expressions. "When your mind wills it enough, the world can turn the wrong way." Then he took on a thoughtful look. "Well, the world is round, so there really is no up or down, so how could it turn the right way? Is there a left way? Since there is no up, could I just float away? Or would gravity stop me? But how does gravity know what's up or down since there is no up or down without an up or down? Is gravity a god? How is it smarter than us? It isn't even a thing. Or is it? I don't know. I'm Orion, what's your name?"

The royal adviser had a blank expression on his face as he simply stared at Orion, and all of the guards looked like they had headaches. "Uhm, excuse me?"

Orion smiled stupidly. "I don't smell anything."

The small filly on his shoulder, Harmony, giggled quietly at this.

"You killed my dad?"

Every eye turned to Queen Gilda.

She rose from her throne, making her way down the steps and the hall. "You're the one who killed my family?" she asked angrily.

Orion smiled wider. "Yep!"

She scowled. "And what makes you think you can just go around killing my family?! Huh?!" She was right in his face, hovering above the ground.

Orion kept on smiling. "I challenged him to a trial by combat and won. Isn't that legal?"

Her shock made her forget to flap her wings and she fell to the floor.

The royal adviser cough and spluttered, choking on his own breath.

All of the guards' jaws dropped and their eyes bulged out of their heads.

Orion and Harmony laughed at the faces they were all making. It was quite the sight, to be honest.

Sharpe just shook his head, wanting to leave this planet and all of this ridiculousness behind.

The adviser regained his breath and spoke in an unbelieving tone of voice. "Yes, it is quite legal. But the soldiers that reported to General Hawk Eye said that he was murdered. He told me so himself."

"And he was murdered. By this creature."

Everybody turned around to face the speaker. It was none other than General Hawk Eye himself.

Sharpe growled softly. "What is this, a soap opera?"

He ignored him as he advanced on Orion. "You murdered our King, and for that you will be executed. I'll do it-"

Orion lashed out at him, slapping him across the face. "Trial by combat! Go!"

Hawk Eye had about half a second before he felt his neck twisting. Another half second and his world was nothing but blackness. After a full second, his world was nothing. Hawk Eye was dead.

Sharpe snorted. "Well, that was anticlimactic. Can we go now?"

Orion shook his head. "Nope, not yet," he said as he pointed at Gilda. "You!"

She pointed at herself. "Me?"

He pointed at her harder. "You! Call a gathering! Make everybody in the city gather around so you can tell them to leave the ponies alone!"

She looked confused. "What? Why would I mess with the ponies? One of my best friends lives in Equestria."

Orion waved his hand dismissively at her. "Call everybody together anyways. I want to say something to your subjects, and it's important."

The adviser raised a brow at him. "How important can it be?"

Orion's smile could have given a child nightmares. "Shockingly so."

***

As Orion and Queen Gilda stood on the stage in front of the thousands of citizens of the capitol city of the Griffon Kingdoms, Gryphus, Orion felt the excitement of what he was about to do rushing through his body. She had ordered everybody in the city to gather there, and like the loyal subjects they are, they obeyed. She gave a short explanation about why Orion was no longer wanted dead. They didn't seem happy, but they accepted it.

And now Orion stood at the front of the stage, his arms outstretched and a warm smile on his face. Harmony was still laying across his shoulder, and Sharpe was standing just behind Gilda. Orion yelled out, speaking to the whole city with a voice amplified by the Force. "Brothers! Sisters! My dear friends! Today, I come seeking your forgiveness! I have wronged you, not just as individuals, but as a people, and as a nation!"

The crowd made a collective grumbling sound.

Orion continued his little speech. "Now, as some of you know, I am God! Or, at least a god! But with my limitless powers, and divine rite, I wish to give you all peace! All I ask is that you kneel before your Queen, the beautiful, the luscious, the incredibly hot, Queen Gilda!"

All of the crowd seemed to roar in approval of the names he had given her, and they all bowed down in front of her.

Orion smiled a sickening smile. "Harmony?"

She looked at him. "Yeah?"

His smile widened to the point of his lips ripping open and blood trialing down his jaw. "Close your eyes and cover your ears."

Her eyes widened as she thought of what he was going to do. "B- but you-"

His eyes took on a dangerous glint. "Do it," he hissed.

She bit her lip and nodded slowly. She crawled into the front of his shirt for protection and used her hooves to block out any sounds. She couldn't help but let a few tears fall. She knew what he was going to do.

Orion raised his hands in the air, high above his head. "My friends! Let us bow our heads, and hold a moment of silence for our beloved King Grey Down! May he forever rest in peace!"

The crowd all bowed their heads, giving their respect to their late King.

Orion's hands lit up brightly, the electricity arcing between his hands and causing what looked like a tiny tornado of red lightening to form between his hands. It took only a few seconds to build it up to a reasonable power, but a full minute of focusing intensely to bring it to the levels of power that Orion wanted it at.

He opened his mouth to speak, and his bloodied teeth shone brilliantly in the red light. "My friends! May you all be damned to burn in the deepest pits of Hell for all eternity!"

The crowd didn't have enough time to react. They only had time to scream.

Old Memories, And All That

Roland, Celestia, and Luna were at their wit's end. None of them had slept since the news, and all of them have been staring at this damned map. No longer did they search for them in hopes of stopping them. Now they sent out search patrols armed to the teeth with powerful weapons of arcane design and make. They needed to find him, and they needed to bring him in. If their hunches were right, he had done something unspeakable.

The others, Lily, Megan and the lot were out looking for him as well. They had formed their own little task force, combining their talents and skills into a formidable search group. Roland knew the chances of finding them were extremely slim, and with Sharpe with him it was virtually impossible. But he needed to hope. He needed to have some kind of faith that this could get resolved.

Luna stumbled, one of her legs giving out from exhaustion.

Celestia looked to her sister, worry on her face. "Luna, what's wrong?"

The midnight blue alicorn only blinked in response, looking around her confusedly.

Celestia strode up to her, wrapping a wing around her sister and nuzzling her gently. "Luna, let me walk you to your room. You need sleep," she said gently.

Luna stared ahead blankly, either not hearing her or not able to register her voice.

Celestia looked back to Roland, an apology written across her face. "I'm sorry, I'll only be a moment."

Roland nodded, little more than a jerk of his head. He heard them leave, their hooves clip-clopping out of the room and into the vast hallways. He was alone now. He didn't want to be alone. The only thing keeping them awake was each other. Now that he was alone though... No, he had to stay strong. He was a soldier, he could do this. He just had to stay focused.

"Pardon me," a voice said.

Roland looked up from his place on the floor. The floor? Why was he on the floor?

The being standing before him looked like it came out of a grab bag for spare animal body parts. A donkey head, lion paw, eagle talon, goat leg, lizard tail, bat wing, all kinds of strange things. He had seen this thing before. Discord it was called.

"Oh, so sorry to interrupt your nap, but I was here looking for Celestia," he said. "I'm a bit worried about her."

Roland pushed himself up to his feet, leveling the thing with distrustful eyes. "What business do you have with her?" he demanded.

Discord looked out the window, nodding his head. "Didn't you notice?" he asked.

Roland looked out the window. Nothing was out of place. The Sun, the gardens, the partially destroyed courtyard... Nothing was wrong. "I don't see anything wrong," Roland said, looking back to the mismatch creature.

Discord's eyes narrowed slightly. "So you haven't noticed that the Sun has been up in the one o' clock position for three days now?"

Roland's eyes went wide. "Oh damn," was all he said.

Discord nodded. "Indeed."

***

Lily stood under the flowing water of the falls, letting the cooling water rush over her. She couldn't remember the last time she had a real shower. The cool water felt good, amazing really. The Sun had been up for three days now, almost four. The heat was unbearable, and the water was simply divine to her aching body.

The water cascaded over her naked body, lending a glimmering sheen her her pale skin. Her generously proportioned breasts and backside would have made even the gayest of the gays straight. She was a timid girl, but the universe had decided to endow her with the body that other women prayed for. Sometimes, she hated the stares she got. That was why she dressed in such baggy robes, to hide herself.

She ran her hands through her pink, silky hair. Just like her body, it gleamed from the wetness as it fell from her small hands and fell against her smooth back. Her skin was flawless, thanks to her role as healer and not a fighter.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, letting the waters crash into her chest. She was smiling happily, just a tiny pull of her lips that would go unnoticed by most. But not all. No, there were some that know her better than even she knew herself.

Running her hands under her supple breasts to clean under them, she remembered some of those that knew her that well. Some of the friends she lost. Some of the teachers and companions that were driven away by reasons that, to her mind, were foolish. They didn't approve of the company she kept, they didn't think she was good enough, they were jealous of her. All of them but a precious few left her in the end, all because she chose to live her life for herself.

A single stream of salty water left her eyes, becoming lost in the waves that cleaned her. Old memories, and all that.

She had learned many things since coming with Orion and Tisus. At first, it was only the two of them. But soon, they found her on a mission, in trouble well above her head. Tisus had helped her, but it was Orion that had saved her. He refused to leave her alone out in the desert, even when Tisus threatened to leave him. He didn't even know her, but he refused to abandon her to her death for one simple reason: it was wrong.

She turned around, letting the water fall across her back and clean away spots she couldn't reach.

He had treated her like a child. Cooking her meals, listening to her complain about silly things, being there for her at night when she had nightmares to make her feel better, stealing her little trinkets and gifts whenever they were in a market. In a strange way, she could almost see him as a father figure before he truly became her friend.

But that was before Tisus got him killed by Mandalorians.

At this point the group had expanded, and they needed more supplies. The closest planet was Nal Hutta, a slime ball and hub of crime. They had an argument over something or other, and in the end Orion had went to the bar and Tisus had stormed off to somewhere in the city.

At the end of the day, Orion was drunk and stumbling back to the ship. When he got there, it had taken off without him. Tisus had taken off without him and hadn't told anybody.

He hailed the ship, yelling at Tisus to come back. With everybody pressuring her, she went. But when they landed they saw them. The Mandalorians. They had him surrounded, wanting to kill him for the sport of it.

She shivered, even with the water of the falls not being cold. The memory of Orion burning to death still caused her nightmares sometimes.

Lily turned, letting the water fall on her front again. She let the soothing feeling it brought wash away the memory.

She felt hands snake around her waist, pulling her into a strong body. She gasped, her eyes going wide. Old memories...

She felt him lean down, placing a small, delicate kiss on her neck. "Just like old times," he said, his voice laced with sadness and longing.

She tensed, not sure what to do. They were supposed to bring him in, to take him down. But...

He moved his head, kissing just behind her ear where he knew she was sensitive. "I miss those times, Lily. When it was just us, together." He breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of her wet hair. "I wish we could go back to that every day. Before things turned into what they are now."

She closed her eyes, more tears falling. She felt her body relax, becoming putty in his strong arms. She knew that where she was right now was the safest place in the Galaxy to be. "Is it you?" she asked quietly, almost being drowned out by the roaring of the falls. "Really you?"

He brought his head down again, trailing small kisses along her neck lower and lower to her collar bone. "I've never been anything but me, Lily. I just change when we're not alone."

She let him kiss her along her collar, the feeling of it sending chills up her spine. "You went crazy," she said.

He brought his head back up, kissing softly along the other side of her neck. "I still am. But I can push it away, at least for now."

She put her hands over his, holding on to them tightly. "Why now?" It was a question that had questions upon questions in it.

He planted a small kiss just under her jaw. "You're alone, and I'm lost in more ways than one. I couldn't show myself to anybody except you. They wouldn't understand." He pulled her into him tighter, the rough fabric of his cloak and shirt feeling strangely nice against her wet skin. "I need to know that I can trust you Lily. Please don't make me regret coming here."

She swallowed. The safest place in the Galaxy had just become the most dangerous. She knew he wouldn't hurt her though, not intentionally. Not in his right mind, at least. "You can trust me, Orion."

He turned her around slowly.

She let him. When she was fully turned, she gasped quietly. He wasn't wearing his cloak or his shirt. The roughness she felt was only his skin.

She ran a hand over his naked chest, staring at the countless scars. "When did you get so hurt?" she asked softly.

He took her hand in his, swallowing the small thing up with his much larger one. "When you weren't looking," he said.

They stared at each other, the water falling over and around them, soaking them both beyond what they already were. They both felt something that was long thought dead stir inside of them.

"We don't have any protection," Lily said, staring into his eyes.

He leaned down and took her lips with his own. The kiss was simple, as all the best ones are. A simple touch of flesh upon flesh, but the feeling and meaning went so much deeper than that. To their very cores.

When he broke away, he lead her out of the falls to a soft patch of moss growing nearby.

Lily looked at him with apprehension. "But... we shouldn't. Not here."

He laid her down on her back, putting more care into placing her softly on the moss than what was necessary. He claimed her lips with his own once more, holding the kiss for a long time. He pulled away slightly, looking down at her naked body not with lust or hunger, but with a deep-rooted need. "If the Forces wills it, nothing can stop it," he said with a small smile of his own. A real smile. His smile.

She wound her arms around his neck, staring deep into his eyes. "I miss you."

He nodded sadly. "I know. I'm sorry. But now, in this moment, you can have me back."

She leaned forward, kissing him for the first time in years. Not just physically, but with her very spirit. "I'll take it," she said, smiling happily. Just a small pull at the corners of her lips.

Author's Note

Holy crap! It's good to be back in this story!
So, the D&D was officially discontinued a long, long time ago. This is a good thing and a bad thing. Bad, because now I don't have anything to fucking play in my spare time! Damn it, I wanna play some D&D!
But it's good too, because now that all of the characters have been abandoned, I can claim them as mine without some kind of infringement. So, basically, I can do whatever I want with this story now; I have free reign over where this goes. As you may know, this was supposed to be sticking to a story line of what happened in the D&D, but now I can make it my own story. I am the Dungeon Master! Fear me mortals!

Crash Landing

Mavis walked the halls of the Jedi temple with slow steps and her head lowered, seemingly deep in thought. But upon closer inspection, anybody could tell that her breaths were barely controlled and that she was sweating slightly. And if that didn't rise any suspicions, under her hood her eyes kept darting back and forth between the stone halls, constantly on the lookout for anybody who would question her being there.

She waited for a nice, sunny day to do this, for she knew that most of the apprentices and Padawans would be out training or with their masters, learning how to further theirs talents. A lot of the Counsel Masters were out on assignments, and those that were left were busy most of the time training the new members of the Jedi Order. That left only her. Or, so she hoped.

She turned another corner and her breathing got lighter. Nobody was in front of the archive doors. She walked down the stone hallways with the same, easy, measured steps as before. The red carpet underneath her feet mixed with her soft, leatheris boots made her steps almost silent as she pushed open the large wooden doors of the archives.

She instantly closed them again as she entered. If anybody saw them open, they would come to investigate. She looked around the archives, but she knew nobody would be there. The archivist was an elderly woman who passed away some time ago. So she was free to go enter the rooms where her goal lay.

She walked calmly past the rows of dusty old books and shelves of past knowledge. They were interesting to her, at first. The hundreds of books kept her entertained for years, but she tore through them faster than she would have liked, and that only left one place to find decent reading material.

The forbidden section.

The doors here were made of a thick metal, instead of the usual wood that the builders used in the construction of this place. And they were locked with a combination that was very rarely used on anything. It required a substantial amount of Force energy as well as the correct pathways for it to follow to unlock. It had taken months for Mavis to figure it out, but once she did, she discovered that it was well worth the effort. The books in there... They were amazing. They told of past wars and battles. Old Lightsaber techniques and Force abilities that she had never heard of. Some of the older ones even told of how the Sith came into being, and all about their exploits. But none of them were as interesting as a large book she found stuffed away behind a bookcase.

She had only read the cover, but the words stayed in her head, like a whisper that would echo on forever and only grow louder over time. The title of the old, leather-bound book was only a single word: Orion. The book was an old and large one, locked with a large combination that required a Force user to unlock it. This had only made her more interested in it than she was before.

As Mavis walked through the dimly lit part of the archives, she looked around her, planning on what books she would read next. She spied a tome with a wordless title, showing only a large creature. It had curved tusks over a huge, tooth-filled mouth, clawed hands and feet, a patch of spiky fut on its head, and didn't seem to have any eyes. She smiled as she decided on what to read next.

She soon found herself at the table which the book Orion was sitting on. She pulled out one of the beat up chairs and sat down, frowning at how it squealed under her weight. But she put her thoughts of future exercise routines aside and placed her hand on the lock, allowing her strength in the Force to take care of it. It took a few minutes of intense concentration, but the lock sprang open and fell off of the ring it was latched to.

The book, suddenly free of its constraint, opened with such force that the leather cover, hardened with time, slammed onto the old wooden table hard enough to make the sound echo through the room and Mavis cringe.

After a few seconds of silence, Mavis let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding and leaned over the old tome. Her eyes widened when she saw that, instead of text, it was hand-written calligraphy, complete with swirls, crosses, and every other fancy writing design.The first page was blank except for a single line.

The story of our hero

Mavis turned the page to reveal more writing, still in its fancy form. She smiled excitedly as she read the first sentence in what she was sure to be an amazing read.

It was a fine day in Canterlot...

***

It was a fine day in Canterlot. The birds were singing, the Sun was shining, everypony was smiling, and the nobles in court today weren't as annoying as usual.

The rays of sunlight shone through the stained glass windows of the throne room in Canterlot castle, casting a soft, multicolored light all over the room. It created a peaceful scene that Princess Celestia could appreciate in the morning hours. The incident with the Everfree Forest the previous week had caused her some discomfort, but on sunny, bright, peaceful days such as this one, she could forget about her troubles for a while and simply let the gentle rays of light coming through the windows warm her coat.

She smiled slightly wider as the latest noble finished his detailed speech about how grateful he and his family was for her granting them more lands to grow on and bowed before her before walking off. It's not that she didn't like her subjects. It's just that sometimes, she just wished that they would deal with whatever it was themselves and let her enjoy her mornings.

Twilight Sparkle held her court sessions after she did, allowing the young alicorn to sleep in. But this was not the case this week. For her friends decided to visit her this week and make sure that her court was as "eventful" and "fun" as possible. Yesterday had been a disaster, and the day before that was even worse. But Twilight was happy, and that, in turn, made Celestia happy.

***

There was an high-pitched beeping that just wouldn't shut up. That was what made Roland wake up. He jumped out of his bed faster than the Human eye could perceive and landed on his- extremely heavily armored- feet. Why was he wearing his armor when he was asleep? Because when you've been through as much as he has, you pick up a few habits. He grabbed both of his DL-44 heavy blaster pistols and sprinted out the door.

He entered the hallway of the starship he was on and was greeted by the red warning lights that were mounted on the ceiling. Add to that, that the alarm was even louder in the hallway, he was worried.

He ran towards the bridge so he could figure out what was going on with the ship. Granted, it was stolen and he didn't really care what happened to it, but he didn't want the ship to blow up while he was on it.

He turned a corner of the hallway and got knocked off of his feet by a greenish-black blur. He landed hard on his backside and hit his head against the wall, dazing him. He felt a grip on his shoulder and looked up into the reptilian face of one of his crewmates, Sharpe.

The huge Trandoshan pulled Roland to his feet with a single, clawed hand and stared into his bright blue eyes with his yellow ones. "That idiot killed us all!" he screamed in his usual voice of a hiss mixed with a deep growl.

Roland's eyes widened when he said that. "Is he at the controls?!" he yelled over the blaring alarm.

The Trandoshan just nodded and ran off down the hallway, towards where the escape pods were.

Roland started to run, but turned back. "We lost the escape pods in that fight with those pirates!" he yelled after Sharpe. He heard him swear loudly and curse to somebody before he continued on his way down the halls towards the bridge. As he was running, he passed an open door and quickly peeked inside. He saw another of his crewmates, Lily, having a panic attack while Megan was trying, unsuccessfully, to calm her down. The poor girl was sweet, but he knew he wasn't the only one on this ship who doubted her being there.

He continued his run. Turning the last corner, he saw that his Gand friend, Faiz, was carrying away a screaming Keil-Devn. He was hauling the boy away on his small shoulders, having trouble with the fact that he was only about four feet tall. And again, just like Lily, he questioned why somebody like him was here. Not even the fact that he was a miner caused him to think this, but more of the fact that he was a ten year old boy... Who they more-or-less, kidnapped, from Tattooine... After hitting him on the head with a stun-baton...

Roland pushed the thoughts out of his head and kept running to the bridge. He reached the door and opened it, and instantly wished he didn't.

Before him, was the person he hated the most in his life. The person who had ruined his career, almost gotten him killed countless times, humiliated him, tortured him, killed his friends, and made his life a living hell. His hated enemy, his worst nightmare made true, his bane of existence, his friend, Orion, was standing in the bridge next to the console having a slap-fight with the crew's very own mascot, Mitsue.

"Stop hitting me, damn it!"

"No!"

"Stop it!"

"No!"

"Stop hitting me or I'll tell Tisus on you!"

"No, snitch!"

Roland opened his mouth and bellowed in his loudest voice. "Both of you idiots cut it out and tell me what's going on!" This instantly stopped the twos' fighting as the both turned towards him and pointed at each other.

"She did it!"

"He did it!"

The both screamed at the same time, and when they realized what the other had said, they both glared daggers at the other.

Mitsue smiled smugly and looked at Roland, jabbing an extended finger at Orion. "He did it! He did it! He broke the ship! He put in fake coordinates and put the ship in reverse! He did it! He broke the ship!" she screeched this at Roland while jumping up and down on the chair she was standing on to be eye level with the others.

Roland turned a cold glare at Orion, who put on an innocent face and fluttered his eyelashes at him. "Who, me? Why, I would never do anything like that."

Roland was about to reply, but a particularly violent shake of the ship rocked them all and sent them tumbling to the ground.

At this time, another body joined the group in the bridge. "What the hell did you do this time, Orion?!" she screamed.

Orion climbed to his feet. "Me?! I didn't do anything!"

An explosion was heard in the ship, and they all took on a worried look.

"What. Did. you. Do?" Tisus asked in a deadly serious voice. Even thought she was only nineteen, and a cute little Twi'lek at that, she was the only one in the Galaxy that Orion would hesitate to fight. After all, he had died twice because of her in the past. What's to stop her from doing it a third time?

Orion looked to the console. Then back to her. Then back to the console. Then back to her. "Uh, well, you know how I jumped us into the future?"

They all froze.

"Well, I told the ship to go back three thousand years and put it in reverse... So, in theory, it should work since I did the opposite of what I did last time." he finished with a winning smile, beaming at his friends who were dumbstruck by his sheer geniusness.

"You fucking idiot!" Tisus screamed and pushed past him. She looked at the input screen and saw what the desired coordinates were.

It read: 3000 yeers ajo

She had time to facepalm before another explosion rocked the ship, causing the main console to explode which caused the frontal visor to shatter and she got sucked out into empty space.

The others dove back into the hallway and grabbed onto anything they could to not get sucked out into space.

Roland grabbed onto a clump of loose wiring that was hanging down from the ceiling because of the ships damage.

Orion had ignited both of his red Lightsabers and dug them into the floor to stop himself from meeting death, yet again.

And Mitsue had grabbed onto Orion's left leg with a death grip. She looked into Orion's eyes with a terrified expression. She thought that she had grabbed onto Roland.

Orion looked back at the tiny Twi'lek child with wide eyes. Then he smiled darkly.

"NO!!!" she screeched at him.

"This is for shocking me back on Coruscant!" he yelled, and shot his right leg into her face as hard as he could.

Her grip loosened, but it didn't cease. "NO, DON'T!!!" she begged.

Orion laughed loudly and kicked her again. This time it was hard enough to shake her loose and he watched as the girl got sucked out into space, screaming the whole time.

After a few more seconds of holding on for dear life, the blast doors slowly closed and they could stand on their own again.

Orion was brushing himself off when Roland grabbed him by his robes and came face-to-face with him.

"What the hell was that?!" he roared.

Orion cocked an eyebrow. "Uh, and explosion?" he asked in confusion.

Roland growled into his face. "You kicked her out into space!"

Orion just shrugged. "It's not like either of them can die," he said simply.

Roland threw Orion into a wall with enough force to make a dent in the gray metal. "When she gets back, I'm not saving you."

Just then, the ship rocked again, but it wasn't from an explosion. They looked at each other with wide eyes. They've both been through this enough to know what had just happened.

They broke atmosphere.

***

Celestia sat on the throne with a happy expression on her face as she spoke to Twilight and her friends. All of the nobles have been taken care of and Twilight had asked to see her. She, of course, welcomed the chance to talk to her and her friends.

It was in the early afternoon hours, and the Sun was at its warmest. She had requested that food be supplied for her and her guests, so they were talking over lunch and enjoying the light and warmth the Sun brought them this day.

"I'm so glad that you're all doing well," Celestia told them happily while levitating a piece of cloud cake up to her mouth. Not her first piece of the day, either.

"Mhm!" Twilight replied through the pastry she was eating. She swallowed. "Yes, well, after that incident with the Everfree, we're all trying to take things easier."

There was a chorus of agreement from all of Twilight's friends.

Just then, a shadow came in front of the Sun, dimming the room slightly. The rays of light stopped making multi-colored patterns on the wall through the stained glass windows. But even still, clouds couldn't make this beautiful day any worse. Even in the lowered light, the gold and silver of the room still shone brilliantly, and everypony was happy with how the day was turning out.

***

Orion was sprinting down the halls of the ship, heading towards his room. He needed to be ready for impact, because it was going to be a rough landing.

"Hey!" a voice shouted.

Orion turned to see his friend Seth running up to him, sniper rifle at the ready.

"Are we being attacked?" Seth asked in a worried tone of voice.

Orion shook his head. "Nah, we're just going in for a quick landing," he said casually as he leaned on the wall. The paneling then fell off and nearly crushed his foot.

Seth looked at him like he was stupid. "Orion, landings don't include explosions and alarms..."

Orion shrugged. "Well, it's a crash landing then." he said, then took off back down the hallway before his friend could respond. He raced down the hallway, dodging falling wall and ceiling panels, loose wires, small explosions, and the occasional panicking crewmate.

He got to his room and entered the combination to open the door and ran inside. He stuffed everything he owned into his backpack, strapped on his gear, and ran out of his room with everything ready for impact.

Then he spotted Tisus-Kar's room. The door was open.

He smiled devilishly and ran inside. He immediately started tearing through her drawers, looking for anything valuable. After a while, he found her datapad. He pulled his own datapad off of his belt and linked the two, draining it of everything it had and making a copy on his own. After that he transferred all of her credits into his account. He was now: Orion, the Millionaire.

He put her datapad back and opened the next drawer. His eyes widened as he came across something even more valuable than her datapad. Her panties! He picked up a pair and brought them to his face. He breathed in so deep that he started coughing. "Me Gusta~" he moaned. He then shoved every last piece of her underwear into his bag for future entertainment and took off again at a sprint towards the observation deck.

***

While the six friends were talking with one another, Celestia levitated yet another piece of the delicious cloud cake up to her mouth. She was internally debating whether or not she should eat another slice. She had already consumed three pieces today... But, by the Sun this cake was delicious!

Should she have another piece...?

She smiled slightly as she hovered it closer to her mouth.

***

Orion mashed the button to the observation deck and the large metal door slid open with a hiss. He ran inside and looked out the viewer screen that was situated above a central console. What he saw was enough to make his eyes go wide. "Hoooooo-"

***

The cloud that was casting the shadow over the castle seemed to increase, for the light grew dimmer as they all talked and laughed together. The windows no longer created patterns on the walls, and the precious metal inlays that covered the throne room seemed to stop shining.

As this was happening, Celestia was still hovering the piece if cake ever closer to her mouth.

***

The main console exploded violently, shutting off the shield that protects the observation deck. Wires hung out of the ceiling and small fires started in open panels along the walls.

"- llllyyyyyyyyyy-"

***

The shadow of the cloud grew darker still, causing a particular cyan colored weather pony to look around in mild surprise that a cloud was this big.

And with the cake almost in her mouth, Celestia licked her regal lips and opened her mouth, eagerly awaiting the wonderful taste of the white, creamy goodness that was about to fill her mouth up.

***

The ceiling caved in from a violent explosion, nearly crushing Orion.

"- ssssshhhhhhiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!"

***

It came into her mouth.

***

Orion covered his face with his arms.

***

After a second more of hesitation, she bit down on the tasty treat. The taste was still just as amazing as the other pieces she had eaten.

The cloud that was blocking out the Sun's light passed by, and the day continued on, just as bright and peaceful as before.

Celestia suddenly perked up. "Oh, Twilight?" she said.

Twilight broke away from the conversation she was having with Fluttershy and looked to her old mentor. "Yes, Princess?"

"I wanted to tell you that next Saturday, I-"

A huge, explosion was heard, then, a giant, metal object crashed into the room, completely obliterating the walls on the side of the castle that the Sun wasn't on.

Everypony in the room screamed, princess and guards not excluded.

They were all so shocked and terrified from the sudden appearance of the thing that they were frozen to the spot. As it slid across the marble floor, it screeched loud enough to shatter all of the windows in the room. It also pulverized the ground beneath it, turn marble into dust and sending sparks flying in every direction. It slowed in its progression as it neared the ponies in the room. And, thankfully for them, it hit a pair of white, marble pillars and came to an abrupt stop after crashing into them and making them collapse, which, cause even more destruction to the throne room.

But when it hit the pillars, a figure was shot out of a panel of what appeared to be glass and landed less than a foot in front of the six friends.

They all stared at the thing that came out of the other, bigger, metal thing with horrified interest. It just lay there, unmoving. Was this an alien invasion? Was this an alien peace voyage gone wrong? Was this a dream?

Then, without warning, the thing sat up and screamed loud enough to make all of their ears hurt. "OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

They all eyed it with new interest. Especially a certain pink party pony with a pink, poofy mane and tail. She slowly leaned forward, wondering if she might be able to make a new friend. Because if she did that, then she would be the first pony ever to make a friend with an alien! Because it's not like this kind of thing happened before; that would be silly!

The thing raised up hands similar to some monkeys and pushed on its head, which fell off.

Pinkie gasped suddenly, but calmed down when she saw that it was just a hood, and the thing's real head was underneath the black hood. She saw that it had tanish skin without any fur except for on top of its head and on its chin. It had black eyes, and small scars on its face. Then she realized that it was looking at her.

As it silently stared at her, the sound of hooves could be heard. Lots of hooves. And shouting. Then, without warning, it reached out and grabbed her with its hands.

She cried out in surprise when it did this, but soon was staring into its eyes again.

Then, a large, goofy smile spread over its face, reminding Pinkie Pie of herself. It opened its mouth and yelled at the top of its lungs. "It's so fluffyyyyy!" Then he- assuming its a he by its deep voice- pulled Pinkie into a tight hug. "You are the coolest pony, ever!" he yelled loudly as he stood up, still hugging her.

Pinkie giggled. "Thanks mister!" she said happily. She made a new friend!

He pulled her away from him and gave an amazed stare. "You can talk?!" he asked with a larger variant of his previous smile.

She looked at him oddly. "Of course I can, silly!" she said, booping him on the nose.

He gave her a deadly serious look. "I take back what I said."

Her ears dropped slightly.

His smile returned, so big that it hurt to look at. "You are the most awesomest thing ever in the history of everything!" he screamed, very loudly.

She smiled and made a small "squee" noise.

He placed her on his shoulders and took off sprinting. "To adventure!~" he called.

Pinkie Pie laughed loudly as she cheered, sticking her front hooves out to her sides like a plane as they ran out of the now-destroyed throne room.

And as they listened to the two screaming in joy, as well as screams of terror from multiple guards and other castle staff, the other five Elements of Harmony, as well as Celestia and her guards, could only stare, open-mouthed at the door they just ran out of.

Then another noise was heard.

They all looked at the big, metal thing that destroyed the throne room. What they saw coming out of it would give them nightmares for weeks.

Coming out of the ship was a small, green being. It walked on two legs and had huge, bulbous eyes like a fly would. It was dressed in dirty, brownish-green robes and had skin that looked like it belonged on a frog. And behind that, was a thing that looked like a cross between a dragon and the being that ran off with Pinkie Pie. It was a huge, scaled, draconic thing that was almost seven feet tall and had more muscles than even that white pegasus stallion that had tiny wings who lived in Ponyville did. It had a snout and slitted, yellow eyes that seemed to glow.

The smaller being chittered, clicked, and squealed in a language that hurt their ears.

The large one responded in a voice that was a mixture of a deep, rumbling growl and a sharp hiss, revealing a mouthful of curved, needle-like teeth as it did. "As long as they're not sentient, yeah, we can them."

All of the ponies in the room proceeded to scream once more.

Author's Note

ERMERGERD, ERT'S A STER WERS CROSSERVER!!!!!!! But really, this could be a fun story for me to write. I just hope it's a fun story for you to read. Leave any helpful words of helpful helpfulness in the comments, and feel free to give me a "Good job, bro!" as well!

Peanut Butter Heals All Wounds

Orion wandered through the great halls of the castle, gazing at the paintings and tapestries that adorned the walls. The marble busts the stood on pedestals. The bronze statues that were almost as big as he was. And for the first time in a long, long time, he was actually thinking clearly.

Why was he such an idiot? Why was he so careless? Why was he so cold? Why was he so cruel? ... Why couldn't he save them...?

He had never thought about things like this before now. He never had to. Everything had always worked out in the end, more or less. If he charged in to a situation that was dangerous, he would destroy everything. If he couldn't destroy everything, he would destroy what he could and let his friends do the rest. But now... there was nothing to destroy. Everything on this world was peaceful and beautiful.

Why?

Because it is.

But... why?

Don't question the good things in life.

I can question anything I fucking what to!

You can, but it'd get you nowhere.

Shut up! you don't know anything!

I'm you.

I fucking hate you! Just shut up!

You hate yourself?

Yes! er... No! ... I don't know! Just- just leave me alone...

It's hard to leave yourself alone, you know.

I've done it before, I can do it again.

...

That's what I thought.

Orion turned another corner and came stomach-to-muzzle with another one of those cute little ponies. It was a cream colored female with light brown hair and tail with green eyes. She had a tattoo of a silver platter on her backside and was wearing one of those fetishy maids outfits. You know the ones, with the lace and the leggings?

And who are you referring to?

The audience.

... I won't even ask.

"Do you have any ice cream?" Orion asked the mare. "I really want some ice cream. Rodian Road if you have it."

The pony stared open-mouthed at him for a long while, the whole time he just looked at her with his stupid grin.

"If you don't have any, can you at least get me a bottle of Sullistan gin?" he asked her.

She opened and closed her mouth a few times before actually answering him. "I- I... I'm sorry... sir. I... don't know what that is," she breathed.

Orion's face fell as he looked at her. "Oh... Well, I guess I can go without..." he mumbled, giving her the most pathetic face he could manage.

She stared at him for a moment, taking in his face. For some reason, he reminded her of a small child. A very, very, large small child. She smiled at him warmly. "If you follow me, we can see what we can find you in the kitchen," she said in a motherly voice.

Orion smiled bright and clapped his hands together. "Yay!" he cheered. "Adventure!~" he yelled.

She rose a brow at the strange creature in front of her, but couldn't help but smile at his behavior. Maybe her usually boring day just got better...

***

Mavis snorted in laughter. "Yeah, that's totally how this is going to play out," she said in a sarcastic voice.

With a final shake of her head, she started reading again...

***

... They walked down the halls along the ever-present plush red carpet, having pleasant conversation about cheese, frogs, and the warping and shattering of the Galaxy.

"So, if the Hyperdrive of a ship reaches full speed, but isn't activated, it will actually move the Universe around you at supersonic speeds, but you'll still be going at normal speed. If this happens, you can effectively travel through time. But if you go too slow and activate the Hyperdrive, it'll tear a hole through space and could possibly create a black hole. I'm not sure how it works, but jumping through Hyperspace doesn't actually move you, per say. It actually creates a wormhole in space where you are, and where you want to go. After that it sends you through, and the velocity of your starship breaking lightspeed will close both ends so the Universe isn't consumed by itself. This is actually information that a lot of people don't know. I'm not sure why, but when they designed those things, they never really created a manual..."

The mare trotting next to him, Silver Platter. No, really, that's her name.

Again, who are you talking to?

I already told you, the audience.

You know what? Fuck this. I'll be in the bar...

Oh, say hi to Wilfred for me while you're there!

Yeah, yeah...

Anyways, the mare was staring at him with wide eyes and a slack jaw as she trotted. "Are... Are you serious...?" she asked in amazement.

Orion nodded. "Yeah. Not one drivers manual in the whole dammed Galaxy," he said.

She shook her head at him. "No! No, no ,no! Not the manual, the Hyperdrive! The time travel! The wormholes! Is that all true?!"

Orion blinked at her in confusion before comprehension dawned on him after a while. "Ooooohhh... I don't fucking know. It sounded good though, didn't it?" he asked with a chuckle and a smile.

She stared at him for a few seconds in silence as they walked. Then she proceeded to facehoof. "I don't think my sanity can stand to be around you any more..." She suddenly felt something prod her backside and yelped. She looked up and saw that Orion was staring at her with glassy eyes.

He spoke in a tone that both soothed her and sent fear coursing through her mind. "If you want, I can help you get more comfortable around me. A lot more comfortable." He walked around in front of her and stopped. "Just say the word, and you'll feel better than you have ever felt before in your life."

She gulped audibly as sweat began to form on her brow. "Uh... Well, I d- don't think that I... That I could do that while on duty..."

He stepped forward, his eyes narrowing and his smile actually straightened itself out.

She tried to step back, she really did. But something about the way he was looking at her made her feel... excited! She wasn't sure exactly, but she thought that whatever it was that he was about to do to her, she wanted it. Badly. "I- I- I c- can't! I- I'm on duty! I... I... Should we find somewhere more private?"

He smiled wider slightly an-

"Hey Silver, what's that thing with you?"

They both turned around, Silver Platter with very, very, very rustled jimmies and Orion with a dopey grin and slightly unfocused eyes.

A regular pony stallion wearing a chef's hat and an apron stood in front of a pair of swinging doors, eyeballing the two of them with an unsure expression.

Silver gave him a filthy look.

"Hi! I'm God!" Orion introduced loudly.

The stallion raised his brow a little higher. "Really? Well then 'God', do you think that you can let Silver here get back to work?" he asked with spite in his voice.

"Excuse me?" Silver spat out. "Who do you think you are, Broth?"

Orion smiled even goofier at him. "Your name's Broth?" he asked in an amused tone.

The chef bristled. "That's 'Head Chef Broth', you overgrown monkey!" he growled at Orion.

At that moment, the air around them seemed to gain weight. The noise of the castle stopped, leaving the feeling of deafness about them. And a feeling of pure dread crept into their minds.

Orion's smiled straitened itself out again and his eyes almost seemed to glow. "I'm a monkey?" he asked in a silly voice, cocking his head to the side fast enough to crack the joints. "I'm a monkey?" he asked again, this time not as silly.

Broth tried to sneer at him, but every time he even looked at Orion, the feeling of dread increased tenfold. It became hard to breathe. The air was crushing him. He couldn't move. He couldn't move! He couldn't breathe! He needs air! He's going to die! He's going to die! He's dying! Oh, sweet Celestia, he's going to die! He's going to die!

He tried to gasp in a breath of air, but ended up screaming out in blind terror. A sound that clawed at your soul and formed jagged cracks in your sanity.

Orion smiled even wider as he aimed his hand at the stallion, palm outwards.

He screamed so loud that Silver had to cover her ears as she fell to the floor crying in fear. She felt like her mind was going to explode. Her ears were burning. Her mind was burning. She was burning. By the Sun, she was dying! She was dying! She was going to die! Her mind was going to explode and she was going to die! She was dying! She was going to die!

Orion flicked his middle finger.

The wave of Force was so strong that you could actually see it physically push through the air and slam into the screaming and crying form of "Head Chef Broth", sending him flying through the swinging doors of the kitchen and at once the feeling of dread and fear and horribleness left Silver.

She looked up and saw the smile on Orion's face as he walked into the kitchen. She shivered as she stood back up. Unsure as for what else to do, she walked into the kitchen after Orion.

She immediately wished she hadn't.

***

"Called it," said Mavis. She continued to read...

***

The lights in the kitchen were either not working or were flickering on and off. The pots and pans of food were knocked over, having spilled their contents all over every surface near them. Spoons, knives, spatulas, and other such cooking tools were scattered around everywhere. Even the ponies working in the kitchen were scattered around the place in various positions on the floor, or over an upturned table, or even hanging from the spice racks. It was a mess.

The moans and groans of the cooks, the creaks from damaged hinges, the falling of utensils, the still-lit burners left unattended, and her own hoofsteps echoed throughout the room, creating a nightmarish symphony in the destroyed room.

"Hello?" she called out, only being answered by the sounds of the kitchen. "Orion? Are you there?" she called again.

The sound of singing.

She swiveled her ears around to hear what she thought was... singing.

"... All around the Rutolo bush, the Rancor chased the Wamp rat..."

She slowly walked towards where the sound was coming from.

"... The Rancor thought t'was all in fun, til pop, goes, the Womp rat..."

She walked around a counter and thought she heard the sound of squishing being repeated over and over again. Along with whimpering.

"... A credit for a spool of thread, a credit for a needle..."

She pushed a small rolling tray-table out of her way and saw what was making the noise. She almost vomited.

"... And this is how the Rancor goes, pop, goes, the Womp rat..."

Orion brought the huge, square butcher knife down again, chopping further into the flesh of Broth. "That leg's gotta come off. Otherwise, it'll get infected and you'll die. You don't want to die, do you? Well? Do you?" He laughed, causing Silver to lower herself to the floor slightly. He brought the knife down again. "Of course you do right now. The pain is unlike anything you've ever felt before. But what about in a year or two? Huh? What then?" He brought the knife down, hacking almost completely through Broth's leg. "Well, if you still want to die, you could always just jump into a pot of boiling soup. Hell, I'd eat that. I bet you'd taste like a tender baby Bantha." Orion laughed again, bringing the knife down and separating the hoof from the leg.

Broth's eyes rolled up into his head and he fell to the floor and passed out. He was bleeding. A lot.

Orion turned around and smiled his usual goofy smile at Silver. "Hi Silver," he said happily. He leaned down and put on Broth's hat, adjusting it just right so it sat crookedly on his head. Next was his apron.

"Orion... you killed him..." she whispered.

He looked at the body without concern. "No I didn't, he's only kinda dead," he said reassuringly. He looked at her. "Do you want me to kill him?" he asked just as happily as before.

"No!" she screeched. She galloped over to him and started using her maid's hat as a bandage to stop the bleeding. "Help me stop the bleeding!" she screamed at Orion.

He thought for minute and came up with the perfect plan. "Okay! I need peanut butter! Lots and lots of peanut butter!" he said, very seriously.

She looked at him in confusion. "What...?"

He pointed a finger at her dramatically. "Do we have the necessary tools nurse?!" he yelled at her.

She shook her head. "What are you talking about?" she asked, lost.

"I need all the peanut butter we have if I'm to save him nurse! you should know this; you've been doing this longer than I have," he said as if he were really a doctor at a hospital and she were really a nurse working with him.

"I- I don't know! I have no idea if there's any peanut butter! Just help me!" she yelled.

Orion grabbed the bit of hoof the was laying on the counter and the knife with his other hand. "Keep him stable nurse, I know just where to go to get the supplies we need. In the meantime, this heart needs to get on ice, stat!" He then sprinted out of the room faster than a being of his size should have been able to move, leaving a confused and panicking Silver to slow the bleeding of her older brother, Broth.

***

Orion sped through the halls, faster than any Human had the right to be. Anybody who saw him would see nothing but a black and grey blur, followed by a gust of wind that would push them over.

He turned a few more corners, and... Yes, there it was!

He stopped right in front of the dining room doors and took half a second for the wind to catch up to him. The second he felt the breeze, he pushed the doors open.

The doors swung open slowly, leaving him standing in the center of the frame with his hood up and his robes billowing out from the wind coming up from behind him. A deadly serious expression on his face. The hat and apron took a little away from the effect, but still, he looked totally badass.

Well, he would have, if anybody was looking at him.

He grumbled in annoyance and walked closer as the doors closed behind him.

Roland was talking with the ponies about something. He didn't know what, but it didn't really matter. "He... He hurt her. Not badly, but she got a scare."

Orion wondered what the were talking about briefly, but damn it, he had a dying pony he had to fix! "Hey, do we have any peanut butter?" he asked.

At his words, all of the ponies, and of few of his friends jumped in their seat and screamed. they turned to him with wide eyes, instantly seeing the knife and piece of hoof.

Roland stood up and glared at him. "Orion, what did you do?" he growled.

Orion smiled wider. "There's been a horrible accident in the kitchen and I was with my nurse. We're trying to preform a frontal lobotomy, but we cut too deep and we need all the peanut butter to gum up the wound," he said in a perfectly reasonable voice.

Sharpe stood up, knocking his chair over and march in front of Orion, grabbing his collar when he was close enough. "What did you do?!" he hissed out, his tongue flicking angrily.

Orion put on a sad face. "I... I just told you... Don't you believe me?" he asked in a hurt voice.

All of the ponies present felt a pang of guilt in their heart.

Sharpe didn't. He shook Orion violently. "What did you do, you fucking idiot?!"

Orion smiled and booped Sharpe on the snout. "Catch me if you can, gecko man!" he cried as he slammed his open palm into Sharpe stomach.

Sharpe's eyes widened. Then he went flying back across the room hard enough to go through the dining hall's wall and the wall in the next room, stopping on the third wall which crumbled to the ground as he rolled into the room.

They all looked to the large whole made by Sharpe and saw that in the first room, Prince Blueblood was taking a shower... with the new Marexican gardener, Pedro. They both went red in the face and darted out of the room, screaming.

A certain white unicorn mare donned an evil smile about the gossip she could spread all over Canterlot about that one...

The second room held a very confused Flash Sentry staring at them over a newspaper as he sat on a toilet.

Twilight blushed at seeing her crush doing this.

Flash blushed even harder. Then he sprinted out of the room, leading a trail of toilet paper behind him.

The third room contained three Night Guards standing around a tied up blue earth pony mare with a black mane and tail and pink eyes. The mare was panting hard with liquids running down between her hind legs. There were various accusations written on her in red ink, such as 'thief', 'abuser', 'addict', 'whore', and other things like that, as well as multiple penises and other such body parts. All of the guards looked first at the thing that had landed in the room with them, then at the eyes that were staring at them from the dining hall. They all had raging erections and one of them was whipping her.

Luna narrowed her eyes.

All three guards gulped audibly.

Sharpe sprinted out of the room screaming. "I'm going to fucking kill you!"

Roland and Celestia both proceeded to smack their respective forelimbs into their face.

The maniacal laughter of Orion could be heard throughout the castle, causing every guard, maid, and other inhabitant to shudder in horror.

A Devious Mind Is Mine And Mine Is Brilliantly Devious

There was a new hole in the castle. It was a very large hole, roughly the size of an Olympic style swimming pool, only rounder. It was going through the ceiling of the dungeon, the ceiling of the first floor, and the second, and the third, and the fourth, all the way to around the top of one of the towers. Let's call it about twenty floors, give or take half a dozen.

At the giving end of this hole, was none other than princess Luna. Her normal coloring was no longer that of a deep blue color, instead being a blazing crimson. Her mane and tail were whipping about wildly, having turned a bright redish-orange color and her eyes were shining a fierce neon blue. This happens sometimes when those particularly gifted in magic lose their temper.

At the receiving end of the hole, was Orion. He was laying in some kind of large bathtub, the water either evaporating or draining through the hole he had created in the floor. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that he was also sorta, kinda, maybe smoking from the blast he received. That's why a lot of the water had turned into steam vapor. This is also what happens sometimes when those particularly gifted in magic lose their temper.

Orion lifted his head to see none other than Celestia herself sitting in the bathtub cleaning a rather private spot on her body with a soapy sponge. He smiled at her and waved. "Hi Celestia!" he said too loudly.

Celestia quickly used what was left of the water to rinse the soap off of her body and cover herself with her hooves. Her face was trying to win the award for best tomato impersonator.

Orion twisted his body, making his bones crack much more loudly than they should have and sat down the a small ledge so that he was facing Celestia. "So, you come here often?" he asked lightly.

She spluttered for a few seconds before managing a proper response. "Pf- w- yo- wh- h- I- j... What?"

Orion grabbed a semi-wet brush and scrubbed at his neck a little bit. "So, have you seen the new action vid? The one with Arr'nold shworzineg'geiere? I heard it's really good. Something about an organic-droid hybrid..."

Celestia only stared at him.

It was at this moment that Luna, literally burning with rage rocketed up through the hole in the tub and locked eyes with Orion. "THOU SHALT FEEL OUR WRATH, IMPUDENT FOAL!!!!" she thundered, shaking the entire room and probably the entire tower. She covered Orion in her magical aura and levitated him only inches from her muzzle. "Any last words?" she whisper-hissed.

Orion leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth, leaving a small line of saliva hanging between them. "You're it!" he screamed.

Luna's mane and tail seemed to grow even more intense at this and the air around her became hard to breathe. She actually roared as she flung Orion out of the highest room of the tallest tower, shattering the priceless artwork that was the stained glass window of an artist long-dead.

As Orion fell to the ground he couldn't help but think that Luna might be mad at him for something. After all, roaring in somebody's face was very rude.

Just before he hit the ground he spun himself up right and landed gracefully on his feet. He brushed some dust off of his robes and looked back to the top of the tower. He wasn't sure, but he could have swore that Luna was staring at him in shock.

A second later there was a bright flash of light and Luna was standing in front of him, still very, very angry.

He waved to her. "Hi Luna!"

She charged her horn and sent a large bolt of lightening arcing towards him.

It was at this moment that Orion realized that Luna wasn't playing charades with him. He jumped out of the way of the lightening and took a defensive stance, still smiling. Although, it was more deadly than dumb. He opened his mouth and spoke in a voice that almost vibrated the air around him. "This is going to be fun."

Luna flew at him fast enough to break the sound barrier, the whole time flinging spells at him.

Orion simply held out his hand, using the Force to destroy or reroute the spells. Although, he couldn't reroute Luna, who slammed into him full force and sent him flying backwards with the shock wave of energy that she had amassed. He crashed through a wall of the castle, making yet another hole, and rolled to a stop in the center of the courtyard. He pushed himself to his feet just in time to see Luna flying at him once again, charging another spell. He swatted his hand at her like someone would at a fly. A second later, she slammed face first into the ground and slid almost ten feet before stopping.

She got up and glared at him. Being an immortal goddess has its upsides. One of which being an almost total immunity to pain. "WE SHALL TURN THEE TO DUST!!!" She then sent an enormous wall of flames at Orion.

He took a step back. Orion wasn't scared of anything. But fire... He was terrified of fire. Burning to death sort of does that to you. He stuck out both hands and sent of wave of Force so powerful at Luna that she could see it. It created a huge opening in the fire just before it hit Luna and sent her flying backwards into the castle. Surprisingly enough, she didn't go through the wall like Orion always seemed to, only making a large crater in it.

Luna pulled herself free of the castle walls and landed on her hooves. She got about half a second to see Orion's fist coming at her face before she was sent spinning through the air, her neck making a nasty cracking sound. She landed on the ground, surprised to find that a warm stream of blood was coming from her nose.

Orion lifted her up with the Force and threw her across the courtyard like an old ragdoll.

She hit the metal gate that was in place on the walls leading to the city below the castle. This time though, she did go through. The slope of the mountain and the momentum she still possessed carried her a good hundred feet before coming to a stop. She slowly got to her hooves, feeling pain for the first time in over a thousand years. Nothing very bad, just a dull ache in her body.

The sound of running hoof, no, footsteps was heard. She looked up in time to see Orion spinning into a roundhouse kick aimed directly at her head. She hastily brought up a force field and blocked the blow.

Orion swore as his foot connected with what felt like durasteel plating. He dropped to the ground and looked around him. He smiled evilly.

Luna's eyes widened as she was assaulted with ponies. She quickly dropped her shield, so as not to have them splatter in a mess of gore. Luckily for her, the ponies of Canterlot were fat and lazy, or skinny and lazy, or just lazy. None of them had any kind of solid muscle mass, and most of them were quite squishy, like marshmallows. But this still angered Luna even further as she was pummeled with a ninth wailing pony. "ENOUGH OF THIS!!!!" she screamed, sending a wave of energy from her horn powerful enough to knock Orion back several dozen feet. Actually, right into another pony.

He growled as the whining mare beneath him tried to kick him off. He jumped off of her, picked her up, and punted her like a ball at Luna.

Luna dodged the screaming pony and grabbed Orion in her magic. She smiled darkly as she sent electricity at him.

Orion managed to stop most of the electricity with the Force, but some got through, and it fucking hurt! He glared at Luna and eyed the area around her. He almost laughed when he used his powers to knock over a building. And she, too busy being a sadist, wasn't paying attention and got buried in pony-made ruble.

He landed on the ground, free from her magic and no longer being shocked, and started walking towards where she was buried. He didn't get far before a piece of roof flew at him and nearly took his head off.

Luna lifted the debris off of her and held it above her with her magic, creating a swirling mess of blue energy and building pieces.

Orion stuck his hands out to the side, palms down and watched her with a grin. "You're move, your royal heiny-ness," he said jokingly.

She snarled at him and started throwing bits of building at him, all of which he threw back at her, or redirected into the city somewhere. She tried this tactic until she was out of pieces, and still Orion stood exactly where he was, smiling.

Orion ran at her with abnormal sped, closing the distance before she could think to react. He charged up a powerful ball of Force in both hands as he ran, and when he reached her, he slammed it into her chest.

She was certain that her ribs her broken as she crashed through the first building. And she was also certain that her wings were broken as she went through the third building. And as she went through the eighth building, she stopped guessing how many things in her body were broken, instead deciding that everything in her entire body was probably broken. That's what it felt like, at least.
She ended up in some kind of square, her flight ending with a large fountain being broken in half and magically imbued water- so that it could flow through the winter without freezing, I guess- spraying everywhere.

She didn't try to get up. Her body felt like fire was running through her veins and burning her from the inside out. The pain was beating out the rage, and her mane and tail went back to their normal colors, as did her coat and eyes. The top half of the fountain was laying on her back left leg, which was growing numb rapidly. She wanted to get back up, but she couldn't. She wanted to destroy that idiot, but she was in too much pain. Pain... Never before had she been in pain like this. Even when she was separated from the Nightmare, it wasn't really physical pain. At least, not totally. But this? This was pure and true. This was pain.

There was footsteps coming closer to her through the light snow on the ground, making crunching noises as they came closer.

She looked up, wincing as her neck tried to fight her movements. Orion was walking towards her with a cold smile on his face. One that refused to enter his eyes. She fought with desperation to get up. She got her leg free of the fountain top and pushed herself to her shaky hooves. Her back leg couldn't hold any weight, and her other legs seemed equally injured, barely supporting her. Her wings couldn't fold in properly and her vision was blurry. She could feel her blood leaking out of countless cuts on her body. Now that she was no longer in a state of magically enhanced fury, everything was catching up to her at once.

Orion stopped a few feet in front of her, still smiling at her like a deranged killer. Or, well, himself. "So, can you still fight, or do you want me to end this?" he asked coolly.

Luna tried to make a snarky remark, but it came out as a blood-filled cough. The coughing fit almost made her fall down, but she just barely managed to stay on her hooves.

Orion smiled a little bit wider and raised both hands to her, placing them level with her face. They started sparking and crackling with dark red lightening, arcing from hand-to-hand and striking the ground occasionally. It built in intensity until it looked like there was a raging storm swirling around his hands. "Goodbye Luna. It's a shame I never got to fuck you, but I think I can live with that."

Luna closed her eyes and accepted defeat. There was nothing she could do to stop him. He was just too strong.

Orion pulled his arms back and focused the energy directly on Luna. He threw everything at her. Well, at her head.

But just then! As the energy left his hands! A beam of bright yellow energy connected with his side and sent him flying into a nearby building! And yes, he did indeed go straight through it.

But the kind of energy that he was harnessing doesn't just go away. No, it goes racing forward, tearing through mansions, malls, shops, billboards, hotels, apartment complexes, large companies, small hills, trees, the protective wall surrounding Canterlot that keeps out would-be threats, the train bridge, the train, and anything else for at least a mile's distance.

Luna was thrown to the side from the sheer force of the energy rushing past her. She landed on her wing at an odd angle and heard a crunching sound. The pain and exhaustion made her black out.

Orion climbed out of the building, a small sandwich hanging from his mouth. He ate the sandwich in one bite and looked around the area, searching for whatever it was that attacked him. It came from above him, landing on the ground about a dozen paces away. It as Celestia, and she looked pissed.

She regarded him coldly. "Orion, I do not know what you did to anger my sister, but you will stop this. Now," she warned.

Orion smiled at her, only half serious. "Well, you could have just asked me, y'know," he told her sarcastically.

She looked to the destruction that he caused, seeing that not only had he caused tens of millions in damage, but also no doubt ended lives. She sighed sadly and looked to him, igniting her horn. "Orion, I do not wish to engage you in battle. But I will ask you to leave peacefully." She tensed her stance slightly. "If you do not accept my offer, I will be forced to end you."

Orion stood there for a while, running his tongue over his teeth and smiling widely at her. He chuckled at her. "Do you really think that you can beat me?" he taunted her.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I know that I will die trying if I have to."

Orion nodded slowly, thinking about what she said. It seemed like hours passed before he spoke again. "I'll leave on these conditions," he told her.

She relaxed slightly, but kept her horn charged.

He stuck up his forefinger. "One: You will take care of Clover and Icy like they were your own children. Treat them like you would treat a loved one. Give them whatever they want, but don't spoil them. They need to learn respect and the value of things."

Celestia nodded.

He stuck up his middle finger. "Two: Silver Platter, that cute little maid? She deserves a raise. Give her one. A generous one."

Celestia nodded again.

He stuck up his ring finger. "Three: When Luna wakes up, tell her that the only reason this city isn't burning to the ground is because I'm a better person than she is. If I wanted to, I could have crushed her before she even shot her first spell at me, but I didn't."

Celestia didn't look happy, but still, she nodded.

He stuck up his pinkie finger. "Four..." He looked at the ground and sighed. He shook his head and spoke, not looking at Celestia. "Tell my girls that I'm away on business somewhere. That I wish I could have taken them with me, but it was too dangerous." He now looked up at Celestia with a hard look in his eyes. "Tell them that they'll see me again soon. I don't know when, but soon."

Celestia actually felt a pang of guilt in her heart at this. Her gaze softened as she spoke. "Orion, you're not coming back here, under any circumstances. I don't think you'll have the chance to see them again."

He took a step forward, making Celestia take two steps back. "If you try to keep them away from me, I'll kill every last living thing in this damned country of yours."

Celestia actually had a small drop of cold sweat streak down her face. She knew he could do it. "I'll... allow some kind of visitation rights," she said.

He nodded and took in a deep breath. When he let it out, his normal, goofy smile was back. "Well, I guess I'll be off then!" he said cheerily.

Celestia raised a brow at him. "Where will you go?" she asked.

He put one hand to his chin and pointed the forefinger of his other hand in front of him. He hummed to himself as he started spinning around in circles. After about ten spins he stopped, pointing South-East. "I'll go that way!" he yelled. Then he started walking West.

Celestia watched him go, a great weight lifted off her shoulders as she saw him walk away without causing any more trouble. When she could no longer see him, she lifted Luna with her magic and teleported to the castle.

***

Roland and Sharpe were talking to Twilight. They were trying to calm her down, but were having little success. They were also trying to keep about a hundred royal guards back with nothing but pure intimidation while doing this. Trying to intimidate, calm, and reason at the same time was hard.

Twilight tried to use her magic to move them out of the way, but Sharpe flicked her horn with his claw, disrupting her magic. She had seen the catastrophic explosion raging through the city from one of the windows in the castle, and now she was trying to get out through the front gate to help fight whatever it was. She was pretty sure that she knew who was behind it, and she owed him a good beating. The guards were mostly there as backup for when she got too tired to keep beating him, and then they would take over. "Let us through, or I'll be forced to go through you!" she threatened.

Roland spoke in his tinny voice, his helmet on in case of an incident. "Listen, I know it looks bad, but I'm sure that Celestia has this under control," he said calmly.

Sharpe snorted. "And what makes you think you can do anything that she can't anyways? She moves the Sun. All you move you your mouth."

Twilight growled at him as a few of the guards made "ooh!" noises. One of them even went so far as to say "Burn!" Fortunately for them, she was too angry to figure out which guards said what. "Let. Me. Through."

Sharpe loomed over her dangerously. "You aren't getting through. This is between the princesses and Orion. Not you."

Twilight screamed at him. "I am a princess you idiot!"

Sharpe screamed right back. "Princess of what?! Being a fucking worthless problem that talks too much?!"

Twilight took a step back from him.

All of the guards took many steps back from Twilight.

Her eyes were beginning to water up. "I- I'm not worthless! I'm the princess of... Of..."

Sharpe hissed at her in annoyance. "Of fucking what? All I've seen you do this whole time is scribble in your notes and ramble on nonstop. Hell, I've even heard Celestia tell you to get lost once for bothering her!" He jabbed his finger in her face, making her take a few more steps back. "You are absolutely worthless. There is no reason for you to be a princess, and I'm sure that this world would benefit from it if you gave your power to somebody more useful. Hell, the pink one would work better than you! She could be the princess of trying-to-make-this-world-a-better-place-by-making-everybody-happy. But no, you got the title. And let me tell you, it was a grand fucking mistake."

Roland grabbed Sharpe by the back of his neck and pulled him away from the now-crying Twilight. "That's enough!" Roland yelled.

Sharpe pushed Roland away with both hands, making him stumble backwards a few paces. "Don't you fucking touch me! You're worse than these damn talking horses!" He gestured widely to the crowd of ponies. "At least they have the brains to figure out how to maintain order! All you do is try to force everybody to listen to you! And every time we do, it ends in disaster! I'm fucking tired of this bullshit! I'm tired of going straight into danger! I'm tired of listening to idiots all day! I'm tired of you! I'm tired of fucking everything! Why can't the Galaxy just fuck off for once and let me live my life the way I want to live it?! Huh?! Is that too much to ask?!" He pointed straight at Roland. "Just go fuck off somewhere and die, you sorry excuse of a soldier," he hissed.

Roland slapped away his hand and got in his face. "I said that's enough!"

Sharpe stood straight, standing at his full height of 6' 8". "And what the fuck are you gonna do to make me stop, huh, soldier boy?" he challenged, looking down into Roland's black-tinted visor.

Things would have gotten out of control after that if that bright light didn't distract everybody present. They all looked to see what it was. It was Celestia. She looked tired, and there was traces of dark blood staining her coat.

Twilight instantly galloped over to her and hugged her legs tightly. "Celestia! Are you okay?! What happened?! Is Orion dead?! Is-"

Celestia silenced her with a hoof.

Twilight looked up at her princess.

Everybody looked at the two of them.

Celestia smiled sadly. "I am fine, Twilight. However, Luna is gravely injured and needs time to recover. And as for Orion..." She sighed deeply. "I sent him away. I could not fight him on my own, so I worked out a deal with him so he would leave Equestria without causing any more damage."

"Are you fucking retarded?!"

Celestia blinked and looked at Sharpe. "Excuse me?" she asked defensively.

Sharpe got uncomfortably close to her. She may be getting used to him, but he still made her feel uneasy at the best of times. "You let him go?! Without anybody to watch him?!"

Celestia nodded. "He has nowhere to go where he could cause mayhem. I-"

But Sharpe slapped her in the face hard enough to stun her, drawing blood from her lip. "You idiot! He tortured information out of the griffons we captured! He knows where they are and who's in charge! He's probably on his way there right now planning to commit mass genocide!"

Celestia stared at him for a very long time. She hadn't thought about that when she sent him away. And now that she was thinking about it, fighting Luna and causing chaos in the city was a pretty good way to get banished from Equestria. Banished, without anyone to accompany him. No one to make sure he actually went the direction he said he was going in. No one to make sure that he didn't wipe out an entire species just for the fun of it. She could almost taste the sheer fuck-up of her actions. "Oh... Oh no..."

***

Orion climbed the last hill on his journey. He looked back to Canterlot, the city nothing but a dot on a distant mountain. he took in a deep breath of fresh, clean, crisp mountain air. He let it out in a loud sigh. "I love going North. It just feels right."

Author's Note

Well, I'm sure that somepony feels like an idiot right now. And what's up with Sharpe? I don't remember him being this mean before all of this happened. Meh, I guess not being able to kill things or eat meat is getting to him.