Vines and the Horribly Horrible Events they Cause.
This is it, Comet Tail thought, this is how I die.
Comet Tail hung upside down, trapped with Cherry Berry in a thorny, black vine, while Discord sat next to them. He could feel the blood rush to his head as his hind legs began to go numb.
“Help,” They both cried, “Help!”
I can’t die like this. I haven’t gotten to Mr. Hearth’s Warming Eve yet.
The thought of his Royal Guard Calendar sent a shiver down his spine. He was at November. And oh what a November it was.
In the calendar, the two stallions were twin brothers – grey unicorn guards, wearing nothing but their helmets and white stockings. They sat on a table, surrounded by a cornucopia of food. One was nibbling on a banana with his eyes closed, while the other was lying on his stomach, his tongue licking at a bowl of ice cream. They both stared into the camera with knowing expressions.
Long Mount and Bronco Greywing… Sweet Celestia, Comet Tail thought, if you let me get through this, I swear I’ll live every day serving-
“Discord.”
Comet Tail's eyes squinted. Twilight Sparkle didn’t so much shout as much as spoke in a level of annoyance, as though she had expected the draconequus to do this. Nonetheless, the vine around them disappeared, and Comet Tail fell to the ground. As soon as the feeling returned to his hind legs, he ran. The vines were everywhere and they all seemed intent on wrapping themselves around him. He turned the corner and ran down an alleyway, but the vines were there as well. He continued to run through the back streets of Ponyville.
Mental note, Comet Tail thought, move to Seaddle. You never hear of anything ever happening in Seaddle.
As he was thinking, Comet Tail ran into a piece of metal. He fell backward and looked up. He shook his head to make sure he wasn’t seeing double. He wasn’t. Two grey unicorn guards stood in front of him, one of which was now inspecting the armor that he had run into.
“Citizen,” The other guard, “We need to find Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
“Can you take us to her?”
Comet Tail’s eyes widened.
The yellow eyes.
The grey wings.
“Y-yes,” Comet Tail replied as he got back onto his hooves, “She was just confronting Discord. But there are vines everywhere.”
Comet Tail pointed a hoof at the alleyway. The vines wrapped around houses and snaked on the ground towards them.
“It is our duty to protect all citizens of Equestria.” The second guard replied.
“I can handle myself…” Comet Tail mumbled. Though under other circumstances, I wouldn’t mind you handling me.
The three ran back into the alleyway, with Comet Tail in the middle of the two guards. He tried to keep his attention on the road ahead, but he kept stealing glances at his companions every few moments. Those calendars really don’t do the guards justice, Comet Tail thought as he suppressed a snicker.
“Is something humorous, citizen?”
“The name’s Comet Tail,” Comet Tail replied, “Princess Twilight should be just up ahead, Sergeant Bronco.”
Comet Tail stopped when he realized what he had said. True enough, when he turned around, he saw that that two stallions had stopped to look at him with an appraising eye.
"I… never told you my name,” Sergeant Bronco said.
Comet Tail watched as Sergeant Long Mount whispered into Sergeant Bronco’s ear. Comet Tail looked around nervously, until he saw a vine twist itself around Sergeant Bronco’s hoof.
“Look out!”
Everypony’s attention managed to turn when they noticed Sergeant Bronco fall. The other two turned around and saw that a vine had wrapped itself around Sergeant Bronco even further. Comet Tail ran to the offending vine and stomped on it, releasing Sergeant Bronco.
“Thank you, citizen.” Sergeant Bronco said.
“We shouldn’t be doling out thanks, yet, brother.” Sergeant Long Mount added.
The three looked around. They were now surrounded by vines. As unicorns, it was on instinct that their horns lit up to prepare for the use of magic, but as they did so, a blue aura flew up from the vines that had encircled them. The sparkly blue aura wrapped around the three stallions, and they immediately found themselves hovering in midair.
“What sort of magic is this?” Sergeant Long Mount shouted.
“I can’t… control… my horn.” Comet Tail whimpered.
“Everypony, calm down,” Sergeant Bronco said, “There has to be a way out of this.”
The vines had begun to wrap around the bodies of the three stallions, the thorns pricking into their fur.
“Just try to think of something to calm down the energy of your horn.” Sergeant Long Mount said. “Maybe it will weaken the vines’ grasp.”
Comet Tail’s body hung in a tangle of vines facing the two guards. Okay, Comet Tail thought, something calming, something calming… ocean waves… night sky… Sergeant Bronco eating that banana – NO!
A small burst of energy flew out of Comet Tail’s horn. The two guards looked at him again.
“S-sorry,” Comet Tail said, “I-I’m just nervous.”
More vines began to approach them, but rather than entangle them even further, the vines began to tug at the guard’s armor. Comet Tail watched as a vine caressed the helmet of Sergeant Bronco and lifted it off of his head. The back armor was lifted off of Sergeant Long Mount. The two guards were displayed in front of Comet Tail, completely nude.
“What in Celestia’s name are these vines trying to do?” Sergeant Bronco.
Comet Tail tried to avert his eyes away from the two guards. Sergeant Long Mount looked at him and smirked.
“I wonder if these vines can read minds through their connection with our horns.”
Comet Tail lifted his eyes and turned back to Sergeant Long Mount, who continued to look at him. He could feel Sergeant Long Mount’s eyes move up from his mane to his tail, as though appraising his value.
“L-let’s not jump to any conclusions, here, sirs.” Comet Tail said as he tried to contain a nervous laugh.
“I take it you enjoyed the Royal Guard Calendar?”
Comet Tail watched as Sergeant Bronco’s eyes took on confusion for a moment, then shock. Sergeant Bronco’s eyes burrowed into his own.
“That’s how you knew my name.”
While the realization dawned on the two guards about Comet Tail’s predilections, none of them noticed that they were being pulled closer together. The vines spun Comet Tail around and he found himself on the ground, on his back, with Sergeant Long Mount inches away from his muzzle. Comet Tail began to tremble, but he looked up and saw that Sergeant Long Mount had a strangely calm attitude.
“Here’s my theory,” Sergeant Long Mount said, “Discord is behind whatever these vine things are, and it seems they can read thoughts. My guess, dear brother, is that Comet Tail here immediately turned his attention to the month of November.”
Comet Tail whimpered and turned his attention away, but the vine wrapped itself around his forehead and forced him to look into Sergeant Long Mount’s eyes.
“Am I right?”
Comet Tail slowly nodded, though he wasn’t sure if it was of his own will or just the vines moving his body. The vines wrapped itself around both of the stallions’ heads and pulled them together, until they were muzzle to muzzle.
“opn yr mth, ctzn.” Sergeant Long Mount commanded through their pressed muzzles.
Comet Tail conceded, and his mouth was immediately filled with the guard’s tongue. It traveled across the sides of his teeth, and then playfully caressed his own tongue. Sergeant Long Mount’s head pressed into his, and he submitted to him, his neck opening to him. The vines moved Sergeant Long Mount down to his neck, where he immediately bit at it.
“Ow!” Comet Tail cried.
“The vines are reading your fantasy, citizen Comet Tail.”
The vines opened slightly, and Sergeant Bronco was carried over to Comet Tail’s head. Comet Tail immediately smelled the musk of the sweaty guard after his run.
“I guess it’s a good thing that in his fantasies, he doesn’t seem to be the active partner.” Sergeant Bronco said.
Comet Tail could feel the magic reach his plot as it stretched him open. There’s no lube, Comet Tail thought, the vines want this fantasy to play out without lube? What the-
“Ahh!”
Comet Tail screamed and then gritted his teeth as he felt a huge cock plunge into him to the hilt. He had been too focused on Sergeant Bronco that he hadn’t noticed that the vines had moved Sergeant Long Mount to his backside.
“Sweet Celestia, that’s a tight fit!”
Comet Tail watched as Sergeant Long Mount tried to spit on his cock to provide some lube, and fortunately his aim was good enough so that some of the friction went away. Comet Tail watched as Sergeant Bronco’s hind legs were separated by the vines, and his own member had emerged from its sheath. The vines pressed the tip of Sergeant Bronco’s cock to Comet Tail’s muzzle.
“So, in order to get these vines off of us, we just need to complete the fantasy?” Sergeant Bronco asked.
“So… it would… seem… brother.”
“Citizen Comet Tail,” Sergeant Bronco commanded, “Put my cock in your mouth… that’s an order.”
“Y-yes, sir.” Comet Tail replied.
The three stallions closed their eyes at what was happening. Comet Tail’s throat expanded as inch by inch of Sergeant Bronco’s cock was rammed down his throat. A deep moan emerged from both stallions as they continued to pump into Comet Tail, whose body was trembling so hard that he could barely feel the vines around him. Comet Tail felt the inner thighs of Sergeant Bronco on his face as his cock thrust deeper and deeper down Comet Tail’s throat.
Sergeant Long Mount’s testicles bounced against Comet Tail’s backside, and he felt his fore legs pressed against Comet Tail’s sides. The two guards grunted harder. Comet tail could feel the veins of the two brothers as they pounded into him relentlessly on both ends.
“Ugh…” Sergeant Long Mount grunted, “Gonna…”
Comet Tail felt Sergeant Long Mount’s cock press back in as far as it could, where it brushed against his prostate. He could feel the ropes of cum as the filled him on the inside. Comet Tail let out a moan as he reached his own climax. Sergeant Bronco thrust inside one last time, but Comet Tail became confused when he was pulled back and his cock left the warmth of Comet Tail’s mouth.
A roar escaped Sergeant Bronco’s muzzle as streams of cum left his cock and landed all over Comet Tail’s face. One stream landed on his mane, while another splashed across his eye, a few streams landed on his muzzle, while the rest dribbled into his mouth and his neck.
“Heh,” Sergeant Bronco said, “It was your fantasy.”
Comet Tail opened his eyes. The first thing he noticed was that the vines were gone. The second thing he noticed was that there was another pony in the alleyway. Cherry Berry’s cheeks were red from embarrassment. The two guards turned and saw the mare.
“What is it, citizen?”
Cherry Berry brushed her hoof back and forth on the ground.
“What were you doing just now?” Cheery Berry asked.
“We were finding a solution to the problem with the vines, citizen.” Sergeant Bronco said.
Comet Tail hid behind the guards to hide his cum soaked mane and face. But what Cherry Berry said next froze all three of them in place.
“Do all three of you keep your eyes closed when having sex?”
The three stallions looked at her in horror.
“Why would you ask that?” Comet Tail asked as he flung his head towards her, sending spatters of cum onto the fur of the guards beside him.
“The vines went away a few minutes ago,” Cherry Berry explained, “But you three were so… preoccupied… I guess you didn’t notice.”
Cherry Berry turned away and laughed as she trotted down the street. Comet Tail looked up to the two guards, who turned to each other and then back to Comet Tail.
“So, citizen Comet Tail,” Sergeant Long Mount asked, “How would you like to meet Mr. Hearth’s Warming Eve?”
Author's Note
Aren't these vines just awful, awful little things? I shudder to think of what will happen to Big Mac in the next episode.
Vines and the Horribly Horrible Events they Cause.
Twilight Sparkle stretched out her wings, giggling as each feather brushed against the silk sheets. Rainbow Dash had told her about how sensitive wings could be, and how, if properly stimulated, they could be just as useful as a hoof when getting off. Twilight Sparkle opened her eyes to the familiar sight of white walls and decorated columns and smiled. The air smelled of lavender – her favorite flower. She turned her head, looked out the window, and gasped. It was a beautiful morning at Canterlot Castle. Celestia’s sun had just risen, and the golden orb’s light shined over the lavender and sent its shadow across the room until it crossed her bed.
Lavenders. He had brought her actual lavenders. And not only that, but he had changed the direction of the wind so that their aroma would flow into the room. Twilight Sparkle had learned that Prince Blueblood, being royalty, had control over an element of the universe. Just as her brother, when he married Princess Cadence, jointly controlled the element of love, so too did all royalty, alicorn or otherwise, rule over some aspect of it all.
The sound of the heavy doors turned her attention toward the hall, and then she saw him. The western wind that Prince Blueblood had created for her also ran through his golden mane, sending single locks of it fluttering in the air. His eyes looked directly into hers the entire time, and she tried to suppress her urge to blush. It wasn’t working. Prince Blueblood trotted to the side of the bed and placed just his fore hooves on it. He leaned over and brushed his horn against hers until she heard the sound of their two rings touch. He gently nuzzled her and leaned back.
“Lavender, the sweetest and beautiful of aromas, and Zephyr, the mildest and most fortunate of winds – it makes sense that you would like these things.”
Twilight Sparkle felt Prince Blueblood’s aura envelop her wings and begin to preen her. The sensations of having nearly one hundred feathers moved at once sent a response from all of those nerve endings straight to her shoulders, where they all collided into one jolt of energy that travelled down her spine. Her breathing hitched for a moment, and Prince Blueblood snickered.
“Easy there, my Evening Star.” Prince Blueblood said, “I know this is the first night of our marriage, but the consummation isn’t until tonight. It is royal tradition.”
“Sorry, I… wait, what?” Twilight Sparkle stammered, “C-Consummation?”
Prince Blueblood took a step back. She could see in his eyes that her response had hurt him, but he tried his best not to show her.
“Well, of course,” Prince Blueblood replied, “It is my duty, on the day after the wedding, to prove to you that I am worthy of your love, and then we shall consummate our marriage, which will ensure there will be another royal foal.”
Twilight Sparkle simply nodded. The door opened again and a small mare rolled in a tray of food. Prince Blueblood smiled. Twilight Sparkle lifted the tray and gasped yet again.
“A-are these,” she asked, “Chocolate Cosmos?”
“They are.” Prince Blueblood replied, “I thought you would like something sweet in your salad this morning.”
“But these flowers are extinct!” She shouted.
“No, they aren’t,” Prince Blueblood replied, “I simply had the winds to help me find them is all. Before our marriage, I had flown over there in my zeppelin. I want you to know that I will help you find anything that you seek, my Evening Star.”
Prince Blueblood pushed himself off of the bed and made his way towards the door.
“I’ll leave you to your breakfast.” He said, “It would be rude to stay and watch. Besides, you still need to get ready.”
Twilight Sparkle watched as Prince Blueblood left the room, noting how his golden blonde tail swayed from side to side, revealing the backs of his haunches in the process.
*****
The Dream Fish was Prince Blueblood’s zeppelin, and it was in the shape of an enormous purple whale. That zeppelin now floated above Canterlot, where Twilight Sparkle and Prince Blueblood sat and looked down on the citizens as they went about their day. A pair of unicorns left a flower shop, levitating a bouquet of red roses in front of them. Another pair of unicorns simply sat on a bench in a small park and held hooves. Twilight Sparkle sighed.
“Is something the matter?” Prince Blueblood asked.
“What, of, it’s nothing,” she replied, “I was just watching the ponies.”
“Well, to be honest,” he said, “There is only one pony that I care to look at ever again.”
Twilight Sparkle cocked her head.
“You, my beautiful Evening Star.”
She turned her head away.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, “Hasn’t anypony told you that you’re beautiful?”
She closed her eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
Twilight Sparkle turned back to Prince Blueblood. His eyes, blue as the sky, took on a look of concern.
“You are beautiful, Twilight Sparkle.” Prince Blueblood continued, “Your coat is a rare lavender color. Haven’t you noticed how few ponies have your same color? My coat is white, a terribly common color, if I must say.”
“But your coat is pristine white,” Twilight Sparkle interjected before covering her mouth with her hoof.
“Thank you,” Prince Blueblood replied.
She watched his smile widen. Yes, Twilight Sparkle thought, his coat is pristine white. As white as...
“Prince Blueblood,” she asked, “That one night, at the Grand Galloping Gala, why were you so rude to my friend?”
Prince Blueblood sighed and turned his head down.
“I had a feeling that this conversation would have to come up, sooner or later.” He replied, “Princess Twilight Sparkle, do you know what certain ponies in Canterlot call ponies like Rarity?”
“No,” she replied, worried at what he was about to say, “What is wrong with my friend?”
“I’m sure that Miss Rarity is a good friend to you, but you and I both know what she’s looking for. Everything that she does can be traced back to increasing business for her boutique. Everything, including finding a stallion.”
Prince Blueblood shook his mane and turned towards the inside of the zeppelin.
“I knew what she was after the moment I saw her.” Prince Blueblood continued, “It was the same look that I get from all of my suitors. All they think about is the prestige that would come with being married to a royal. So yes, sometimes I have to come off as brutish, but that’s only to the ponies that I know do not want to love me for who I am instead of what I am.”
Prince Blueblood turned back to Twilight Sparkle, and she noticed that his eyes had taken on a steely blue color. His horn lit up, and the zeppelin soon changed direction and headed back towards the castle.
“If you had remained single, Princess Twilight, there would be dozens, if not hundreds of stallions lining up at your door. And you would have learned to see the same look that I am so used to.”
Prince Blueblood made his way to her and wrapped his hooves around her.
“You are beautiful without even trying, Princess Twilight,” he said as he held her tight, “Just the thought of me telling you that, knowing it made you uncomfortable… it hurt. I don’t want to see you being told you are beautiful by a stallion who doesn’t believe it.”
Twilight Sparkle shivered as his tight embrace turned to small kisses. The kisses started on the side of her head, on her mane, and worked their way down until he reached her neck.
“Your mane is beautiful, like the colors of lapis lazuli. Your eyes shine like amethyst. Your mane is soft and beautiful, just like the lavender you love.”
Twilight Sparkle wanted turn her head to kiss Prince Blueblood, but he turned away just before she gathered the courage. He guided the zeppelin back into the castle grounds, where a group of unicorn guards took control and lowered it to the ground. Before they disembarked, however, Prince Blueblood said one final thing.
“Besides, Princess Celestia will tell you how royalty essentially has to remain married within royalty.”
*****
There were torches on either side of the bedroom, and they cast light across either side of the room. Faint shadows danced alongside the walls. Twilight Sparkle shivered on the bed. Prince Blueblood was right – nopony had ever called her beautiful before. They all had just seen her as a librarian, or some super-book that could answer any question or problem they had. And now, the only thing they saw was a royal title.
She had never been with anypony before - not like this. She had read biology books on the subject and romance novels so that she could imagine a real life experience, but now she was just nervous. Even now, her feathers ruffled so much that they began to tangle with one another. Do I just lie here and let him… enter me? Twilight Sparkle thought, do I move around? Should I be loud or quiet? Should I pull his hair?
Her train of thought crashed at the sound of the door opening. Twilight Sparkle’s eyes widened as both Princess Celestia and Luna entered the room. Princess Celestia levitated a small black loveseat with her magic and Princess Luna carried a large tub of popcorn with hers.
“What in Celestia’s na-” Twilight Sparkle shouted, but then quickly composed herself, “What brings you two here?”
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna looked to each other.
“Didn’t your brother tell you?”
“What does my brother have to do with you two being in here when I’m about to get-” Twilight Sparkle looked to the bathroom, where Prince Blueblood was getting ready, and whispered the final part, “-intimate with my new husband?”
“Tis Royal Tradition,” Princess Luna replied, “To watch the consummation of the marriage, to ensure that the princess is fully satisfied with her husband.”
“To be honest,” Princess Celestia added, “This is really a test for Prince Blueblood to prove that he’s capable of satisfying you.”
“So… you two… watched my brother?”
“Oh yes,” Princess Luna said with a smile as she levitated a kernel of popcorn, “He was nervous at first, but when he got into it, he just went-”
Twilight Sparkle covered her ears.
“Please, just stop.”
“Essentially,” Princess Celestia continued, “If Prince Blueblood brings you to proper orgasm, then a beam of light will shoot out of your horn.”
“Princess Celestia,” Twilight Sparkle said, “Prince Blueblood mentioned earlier about how royalty always marries royalty. How did my brother get to marry Cadence?”
“Oh, that was more of a throwback to olden time,” Princess Celestia replied, “He is a great warrior, and the Captain of the Royal Guard. Think of him as one of those very rare exceptions of stallions proving their worth.”
The wind in the room suddenly changed, and Twilight Sparkle turned to see the silhouette of Prince Blueblood in the doorway.
“Shush, sister,” Princess Luna said, “The show’s about to start.”
Twilight Sparkle watched as Prince Blueblood trotted slowly over to her. He wore a tan vest and Stetson.
“Ah couldn’t help but notice some of yer readin’ material, ma’am,” Prince Blueblood said in a country accent, “Ah hope y’all don’t mind.”
Twilight Sparkle’s eyes widened even further. He had seen her romance books. Sure, he looked absolutely silly in that getup, but knowing that he went through such trouble to find out what she liked sent a shiver down her spine. Her excitement, however, was interrupted by the sound of the two Princesses in the corner.
“The accent and the acting are horrible,” Princess Luna whispered, “But for creativity, I’ll start off with a sex- I mean six.”
“But if you’ll notice Twilight’s reaction,” Princess Celestia replied, “It clearly has her aroused. I’ll give it a seven point five.”
Twilight watched as Prince Blueblood let out a loud sigh.
“Whoo, Ah’ll tell ya, workin’ those fields can make a stallion a might thirsty.”
Prince Blueblood flung off his Stetson, which landed right next to Twilight Sparkle’s mane. She picked it up and smelled the inside of it. She could smell the scent of Prince Blueblood’s shampoo in it, as well as a slight amount of sweat. Maybe he is nervous, too.
“Striptease,” Princess Luna whispered as she munched on more popcorn, “Always hot.”
“All further discussion needs to be telepathic, sister.”
Prince Blueblood slowly undid the buttons on his vest, revealing more of his barrel. The pristine white coat cover well-toned muscle, and he made sure to clench each of his legs as he went so she could watch the power behind each of them. Finally, he whipped off the vest and threw it on the floor. The bed dipped and Twilight Sparkle immediately felt Prince Blueblood's hooves against her thighs.
“Do y’all mind if ah have a drink at the waterin’ hole?”
Twilight Sparkle’s legs quivered, which Prince Blueblood took as an invitation to gently caress her labia with his thick tongue. Twilight moaned but immediately covered her mouth. She felt Prince Blueblood’s magic pull her hoof away.
“I want to hear you, my Evening Star.”
He went back down and continued to work on pressing his tongue deeper inside of her. Twilight Sparkle gasped. Her wings fluttered against the silken sheets, even further stimulating her already excited body.
She felt his tongue leave her, and was disappointed until Prince Blueblood lifted his body so that his fore hooves were on either side of her barrel. She looked down and saw a tan cock hanging just above her vagina. She turned back to him, but he had a look of concern on his face.
“Twilight,” Prince Blueblood said, “This may hurt you. I just want you to know that one’s first time always hurts a little bit. Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” she replied, “I’ve read books on the subject.”
Prince Blueblood snickered.
“Of course you have.”
Twilight Sparkle felt Prince Blueblood slowly press into her until he reached a thin layer of flesh. Prince Blueblood’s horn lit up, and she felt her hymen go numb.
“Just for that part, my love.”
Twilight Sparkle gasped as she felt him finally break through. She still felt a little bit of pain, but Prince Blueblood’s spell made sure that she wouldn’t cry out. She looked up into Prince Blueblood’s eyes. He wouldn’t let me get hurt, Twilight Sparkle thought, we’re royalty. He loves me for who I am. And I love him.
Prince Blueblood began to push into her at increasing speed. She felt him hit a small bump inside of her. He kept thrusting his hips back and forth, and soon, she was moving her body up and down at the same pace. Her moans grew louder as he kept hitting that small bump inside of her that she felt the pressure continue to grow.
Her spine tingled. The energy inside of her spine moved up until it reached her shoulders, her neck, and then finally, her head. A ring of light began to form around her horn. And then everything went white.
*****
Twilight slowly opened her eyes and lifted herself up on her fore hooves. She looked around and realized that she was in the Everfree Forest. A piece of the vines smoldered in front of her.
She felt a claw on her back and looked over to see Spike helping her up. All around her were her friends. They all had smiled on their faces and looked happy to see her.
“What happened?” Twilight Sparkle asked.
“Them rabid rhododendrons had y’all knocked out, but y’all just shot out that purple blast the killed the last of ‘em.” Applejack replied, “Ah sure am glad ya came lookin’ fer us.”
Twilight Sparkle looked from friend to friend. Her eyes landed on Rarity for a moment, and she felt a lump form in her throat.
“N-not as glad as I am you found me.” Twilight Sparkle replied.
The other ponies said their part, but the entire time, Twilight Sparkle kept thinking of the stallion with the compass rose cutie mark. As they all ran off to the Tree of Harmony, a smell stopped her in her tracks. She turned back to the pile of vines they had just defeated and smelled them.
The gas smelled like lavender.
Author's Note
And that's what the vines did to Twilight Sparkle when they knocked her out. Thank you all for reading. I know the 2nd story may have been a bit much, but then again, the vines simply did horribly horrible things.
