Captain Archangel's Next Chapterby SabreXioChaptersRaiders of the MonolithA New SparkA New Spark: part twoChemical InfatuationRaiders of the MonolithAfter the defeat of Discord, we had to do some serious damage control over Equestria. The blast from the Elements of Harmony had caused a few odd occurrences where his magic was most concentrated. One of them had apparently piqued Celestia's interest as she had sent a letter to Twilight detailing what her scouts had found. What they described was beyond belief: a monolith of massive size had been uncovered in the desert south of Appleloosa. The guards that had been assigned to explore it returned with stories of shifting hallways, disembodied voices, and most chillingly; a sentient shadow that followed them. Celestia was asking that Twilight and I go and examine the structure, determine its origin, and if possible; find a use for it. We were going over what we knew on the Albatross ride there. "So basically, she needs us to go check out some creepy cave that freaked out her scouts?" "More or less." Twilight confirmed for me. "Ok, so this just sounds like dungeoneering to me ." I said from the workbench as I disassembled my rifle. I hadn't had much time to optimize it for indoor combat. "What?" Twilight asked. "You know; go in, explore, loot. Explorer stuff." I replied. She just rolled her eyes and mumbled something about being in a Daring Do book, I slid the 508 barrel out of my weapon and reached for the 350. That's when the transport lurched to the side and nearly threw me off my feet, but did send the parts of my weapon flying. Luckily, Twilight had caught the parts and levitated them over to me. "What difference does it make if the front part is shorter?" Twilight asked as I began reassembling the bullpup rifle. Twilight had shown a little bit of interest in the technology behind my weapons, and I was always happy to educate when it came to firearms. "Same reason they make abridged books: sacrifice a little quality to be easier to handle." I replied. That is officially my favorite analogy. "Do you really expect there to be some kind of danger?" I put the now assembled rifle down and faced her. "Seriously? Twilight, whenever one of us is involved, crazy stuff happens." I pointed out, "With both of us here, I wouldn't be surprised if an entire army dropped in on us." "Point taken." she replied, "but what can we really expect? I mean, all the guards came back shaken but unharmed. If there was something dangerous, wouldn't it have tried to hurt them." I checked on the Albatross' progress; seeing we were almost there, I grabbed my rifle and attached it to the magnetic holster on my back. "We're about to find out." Then I heard a beeping sound. Incoming fire the Albatross computer said, Evading "That's not good, is it?" Twilight asked. The transport banked to the left as a flak shell burst off the right. "So much for harmless." I said as I held on to the handle on the roof. Since when do ancient monoliths have anti-aircraft guns? The transport weaved around the explosive shells but as we reached about a thousand feet out, the craft shuddered violently. An alarm in the ship went off indicating the problem Warning, Engine 2 disabled. Attempting to compensate The Albatross began losing altitude, but the Triple A was still trying to kill us. "Hold on, Twilight!" I shouted over the bombardment. Eventually, the transport dropped below the area of influence and the shells stopped flying. Brace for impact The ship attempted to rotate it's engines into landing mode, but it wouldn't be a soft landing. As the single engine struggled to power both turbines, it quickly gave out dropping the craft into the sand and throwing both Twilight and I into the forward bulkhead. "Ugh...ow," I groaned before looking for Twilight, "You ok, Twilight?" The unicorn slid down from the top of the wall and was now leaning upside down against it. She righted herself and answered that she was fine. I wordlessly stood and dropped the ramp, which crashed to the ground. I was blindsided by the searing wind and I had to shield my eyes against the punishing sun while my Aug-eye polarized, but eventually, I could see the target. The guards had been right: it was huge. From where I stood, it look to be the length of a naval cruiser, but about the height of an aircraft carrier and was a pristine sliver in color. What I was worried about right now was the Albatross, our only way home. I walked around the side and saw the engine, or what was left of it. Those cannons had chewed a ragged chunk out of the nacelle, as well as peppering the wing with shrapnel. "Ok, so we aren't going back the way we came." I concluded as I shook my head at the damage. "Maybe we can find a way back inside." Twilight said as she pointed at the...whatever it is. "I just want to know why it has automated air defenses." I switched to thermal vision mode and scanned the outside of the...temple, for lack of a better word. The outside was orange hot, but I found a spot that was radiating cooler blue air. I drew attention to it and approached. "This doesn't look like a door." Twilight said as she ran a hoof along the wall. I had to agree, there were no seams in the wall, yet I had just seen cool air seeping from the wall. I placed a hand on the 'door' and was shocked by what happened. Once I made contact, the door made a sharp hiss, shuddered and separated into interlocking strips. "Access granted." A deep reverberating voice said as the door slid open, "Welcome, Operator Archangel." "How did you do that?" Twilight asked, "and how did that voice know your name?" I brought out my rifle and flipped off the safety. "I don't know, and I don't like it" I said as I entered the passage. I looked around hoping to find something that could clue me in on what this thing was. I found it instantly: the interior was made of metal and the walls were lined with small lights. It looked like... "Everything here looks like stuff from your house, Archangel." Twilight said. I found it funny that the ponies saw my base as just a fancy house. After all, how many houses have a rocket launcher battery and a howitzer mounted on the roof? "I noticed, but where did it come from?" I asked, "I've never seen this thing before." The corridor we were standing in was suddenly darkened as the door behind us closed. I scanned the area, searching for any danger when Twilight's ears suddenly snapped up. "What is it?" I asked. She pointed down the hallway. "Something just ran down that way." I raised my weapon and the two of us proceeded. I was worried what this thing Twilight had heard could be. "What did you hear exactly?" I asked as I checked a hallway we walked past. "It sounded like hooves." she said, looking down a hallway on the opposite side, "It must have been a shifting hallways, or maybe the shadow." "Halt!" A ringing voice demanded. I turned slightly to see a pair of tall skinny creature standing behind us. It was humanoid in construction, but looked like it was just the skeleton with a grossly deformed skull. I could tell they were holding something, but from where I was, I couldn't tell what it was. I assumed they were weapons of some kind. "Drop your weapons!" the other ordered, gesturing toward the floor with its weapon. I complied, not wanting to get shot. "Stand down, I'm allowed to be here." I said as I turned around, "I'm Operator Archangel" The creatures looked at each other, but there unchanging faces kept me from telling what they were thinking. "Impossible. Operator Archangel registered KIA." It said in its high pitched voice. I looked to Twilight who was worried what would happen. I winked at her, showing I had a plan. "That's too bad," I said, "I heard he was a blast to hang out with." Twilight got the hint and charged up a spell. Before either creature had any clue what was happening, a purple beam tore through the chest of one of them. It stood for a second, then collapsed backwards with a clatter as it hit the floor. Its comrade now distracted by Twilight, my hand shot to my holster, drew the heavy revolver and fired twice into it's chest and once into the head. "Nice shot," I said as I picked up my rifle. "What in Equestria were those things?" I knelt down and rolled the creature Twilight had shot onto it's back. I looked through the hole and noticed small blue sparks of light. Electricity? "Well, I'll be damned," I said in amazement, "This isn't a golem, it's a robot." Twilight saw what I was talking about. These were security drones: weak and incompetent, but cheap and easy to use. "So this place must be from your world." Twilight deduced, "You're the only one who has access to these things." "This is getting weirder and weirder," I added, "How could something this big just...appear?" "I could ask you the same question." I quickly drew my pistol again and turned around to find the new voice. All I found was a Pegasus. "Who are you?" I asked, sighting down on the Khaki colored pony. "Wait. I've seen you before." Twilight said as she gently pushed my gun away, "You wouldn't happen to be..." "Daring Do, world renowned explorer and archeologist," the Pegasus replied confidently, "At your service." This mare was definitely dressed for the part. She wore, as best I can describe it, a safari vest and hat. Her cutie mark was a compass rose, and her mane and tail were both a greyed out rainbow. "And I should be impressed, why?" I said as I replaced my pistol and stood. "He's not from here." Twilight said, "What are you doing here Ms. Do?" "I followed Ahuizotl here" she explained, "He's trying to steal the power housed in this metal mountain." I was about to make some Indiana Jones joke, or maybe even an Uncharted reference, but when she mentioned something was looking for power, I became a bit worried. "If it's power Ah-we-whatever is looking for, he came to the right place." I said, "This place is filled with technology he could use." "Then we have to stop him!" Daring exclaimed, "He can't be allowed to get whatever that power is." "How do we find him though?" Twilight asked, "This place is huge." "I have an idea, but we'd need to find a console." "Does a 'console' look kind of like a desk with flashing lights on it?" Daring asked. Apparently she'd seen one. "More or less. Where did you see it?" "Follow me" the archeologist said as she started off down the corridor she'd come from. We followed for a few minutes until we came to a larger room. "This must be a control room." I said as I approached one of the many control panels. It looked simple enough: just had to key into the security cameras. I began sifting through the commands until I found the one I needed. On a large screen above us, an array of video feeds came online. Daring flew up and got a closer look at a few, then she pointed a one of them. "There. I can see him." The Pegasus said, "But how do we get there?" "I'm working on it." I said as I isolated the camera's position. A few commands later, and I had the location: he was actually close-by in something called the Manu-bay. "Ok, got it. Follow me" I said as I turned away and started off toward...whatever the hell his name was. I had also spliced my radio connection into the audio system so I could hear what was going on. "Either you give me what I want, or I'll just take it from you." Ahuizotl demanded. Another voice answered him. It sounded like a young woman, and she sounded pissed. "I'm not telling you anything," The voice said defiantly, "And there's no way you're gonna make me" "In case you didn't notice, I'm ten times your size." "In case you didn't here me earlier, I'm the only way to get what you want." the voice said, "So threatening me won't help you." "Almost there." I said as we turned a corner. We entered a large room filled with machinery and components but the main attraction was the weird-ass creature that was standing in the middle of it. I had never seen anything so bizarre looking: The rear half looked like a dog with a long tail capped by a hand, but the front was more monkey-esque with pointy ears, and human like hands. It had an upper coat colored a dark blue and a light blue underbelly, along with weird gold armbands. "Ahuizotl!" Daring shouted, getting the creatures attention. It turned around and...Oh my god, he looks so stupid. How do I explain this...Well, you know how ponies have a muzzle where there mouth and nose are but their eyes are back on there actual head? Well Ahuizotl entire face was like a muzzle and his eyes were where his nostrils should have been. "Ah, Daring Do, so nice to see you again." the creature sneered, "Your just in time to witness my ascension to greatness." "That's Ah-risotto?" I asked. Daring said yes, and I proceeded to start pointing and laughing. "Ok, first of all it's Ah-we-zo-tul." He clarified, "and second, what's so funny?" "Are you kidding me?" I asked through bouts of laughter. "I've personally met a Draconequus, and you are, by far, the goofier looking of the two." "I never noticed before, but he does look kind of ridiculous." Daring agreed as she took a fighting stance. I already knew Ahuizotl was too big for the three of us to fight on our own, so we needed that android's help. Then I had an idea: maybe I could use my radio to talk to the robot like I do with Guardian. I gave it a shot. Hey, can you hear me? I said to the mech. The forest camo plated machine looked around confused for a second, then set her optics on me. Yes, that was me. Does this room have any kind of automated defenses? The machine nodded yes. Good, get them turned on. We'll keep him distracted She nodded again and I turned my attention back to Ahuizotl. "Is this the best you could do, Daring? A unicorn and a loudmouthed moron?" "I wouldn't underestimate us." I said as grabbed at my belt, "We were born to impress." I pulled a grenade from my belt and tossed it toward him. Like a moron, he just stared at the small canister as it bounced and rolled between his front legs. A few seconds later, it exploded with a deafening bang and a blinding flash that causing him to flinch back and flail around. I followed it up with a burst from my rifle, peppering him center mass. He lifted a hand to his chest and felt the small amount of blood flowing from his new wound. I am amazed just how solid these animals are built, being able to absorb a full magazine of rifle ammo and just look like a scratch. I saw the A.I. was doing something on the computer console behind her. "See what I mean?" I said as I changed mags. Now we'd pissed him off. His tail reached back and grabbed onto a table, then proceeded to fling the metal rectangle at us. Twilight, thinking quickly, threw up a barrier that the table bounced off of. Ahuizotl growled in frustration. "Security system online." the deep voice from before said. The whining of servos and the screeching of steel-on-steel confirmed the announcement. Small cannons deployed from the ceiling and a few dozen security mechs swarmed into the room, weapons trained on Ahuizotl. His pupils shrank to pinpricks as he realized he was outnumbered and outgunned. "You have five seconds to leave or I'll turn you into slag!" the female robot threatened as she drew a pair of katana from over her shoulders. "You win this one." Ahuizotl growled in defeat, "But I'll be back." He then charged at the three of us. We all dove to the side letting him run for his life, pursued by half of the security mechs. I also watched Daring take off after him; apparently she wasn't interested in the technology, just the fact that he doesn't get it. "Well, that was fun." I said sarcastically as I stood up. I turned to see the camouflaged mech approaching us, swords still drawn, with the remaining security. "Now I need to know who the hell you two are." "Just take it easy, we're not your enemy." I said "That remains to be seen. " She retorted, "Who are you?" "I'm Captain Archangel," I said before pointing out the pony, "And this is Twilight Sparkle." "Wait, Captain Archangel? The Captain Archangel?" She said surprised. There better not be more than one. "I'm the only one made by the Archangel Super-Soldier Project." "That's not possible." she said as she put hr swords away, "You were reported KIA years ago." "What does 'KIA' mean?" Twilight asked, "One of those other robots said the same thing." "It's an acronym for 'Killed In Action'." I said, "But yes, I am the Captain Archangel." The mech folded her thin arms over her chest. "Prove it." "How?" I asked. I had no idea how to prove who I was. She reached behind her back and produced a thin square object. "If you really are Archangel, then you'd know how to access this." The machine handed me the small, flat device. I pressed a button on the front of the panel. "Security Question: When do the wicked rest?" a genderless computer voice said. "When do the wicked rest?" Twilight repeated, "What does that have to do with anything?" "Wait!" I suddenly said, "I know this one. The wicked don't rest until they close there eyes for good." "Security clearance granted. Relaying message." Hey Jack. It's me, Cheyenne. I don't care what the reports said; I know you're out there somewhere. Look, I don't know whether you left on your own or if something forced you, and I don't care. I just needed to tell you...I miss you. I was frozen. This was really her: my partner, the first and only person I had considered a good friend "Maybe we should leave him alone for a bit." Twilight said. The robot agreed and left with the unicorn. I just...I don't know what I ever did before I met you. You were always there for me when others just thought I was a freak. I never had a brother or anything, but you were the only family I needed. You did everything for me: helped me adjust to my implants, standing up for me, literally taking a bullet for me; I couldn't ask for a better friend. I heard a light sniffling sound. Was she...crying? I know it's not like me to get all sappy like this but...dammit, it kills me not knowing where you are. I may never see you again, but please don't worry about me. I'm a big girl now, Jack; I can handle myself and I'll do my best to make you proud. Good luck Jack; I'll never forget you. I was speechless. She had gone to all this trouble just to tell me she as OK. I couldn't help but start tearing up: this was both a great relief and a bit heartbreaking. Cheyenne had been more like a sister than my friend, and just to hear that she was ok was an amazing feeling. "You already have made me proud, Chey." I whispered to myself as I sat down on a table nearby, "You always did." I had to cut my reminiscence short because that robot from earlier came back. "I guess you really are Archangel." She said, "I'm Raven." I hadn't had any time to really examine the robot. Her armor was accented in certain parts and her head looked like she as always wearing a helmet. On her back were a pair of magnetic locks that held her swords and her hips both held a machine pistol. I was also a little confused: her voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't guess who it was. "I was talking with your little friend here." Raven said, "She said you're in charge of defending her country." "That's right, I'm tasked with protecting against...unconventional threats." I replied. "I also understand you were looking for an army." She continued. "Or a way to get one. Why? Do you have one?" "I can do you one better." She said gesturing to the machinery in the room, "This is an MRU: a Manufacturing and Repair Unit." "And? I have one of those back home." "Yes, but this one is bigger, better and capable of creating anything you can think of." "Even Titans and ATLAS mechs?" "Childs play." She said, "I could even make a replacement for that transport you crashed" My gaze moved to Twilight. She could tell I was excited. This would open up so many doors for me: finally, a way to satisfy my need to tinker and experiment, and a way to field an army the likes of which Equestria had never seen. "Twilight, how do you think Celestia would react to me having an army of warbots?" "She trusts you to do the right thing, Archangel." Twilight assured me. "So Captain," The mech said as she snapped to attention, "What are your orders?" "Raven, Get me a transport and get your long range Comms online, We have a lot of work to do." "Yes Sir." Author's Note 508: Standard barrel length (in millimeters) of a standard issue Steyr AUG assault rifle 350: Subcarbine barrel length (in millimeters) of the same rifle. Nacelle: Separate housing for an aircraft engine. Ahuizotl is really easy to scare off. A New Spark"For the last time Filthy, the answer is 'no'." I said, "It always has been no and it always will be NO." "Can't you see the opportunity you have here, Captain? You possess a product that ponies everywhere could benefit from." "Oh don't pretend like you care about others." I said, "You're concerned with your bottom line and that's it. I'm not selling any of my machines to you." "Think of the money you can make here, Captain." The business pony said, desperately trying to convince me. "Bullets are made of lead, not gold." I said, "If I need it, I can just make it. I don't need your money." "Surely there's something you can't get." the sales pony asked. "Yes, I can't seem to get rid of you." I said, "Do you think you could handle that?" Finally Firestorm interrupted. "Sir, the Crusaders are here." She said, "I'll lead Mr. Rich out." "I appreciate that Storm" I said, "I'm sorry Filthy, I have a very important meeting." Don't let the door hit you on the way out I got up and exited my armory, a bit excited about what I had to show these fillies. I'd been working on a little project and I needed their help testing it. As I passed through the final door, I was greeted by the happy little ponies. "Hello, girls" I replied "I'm sure you're all wondering why I needed you here" They all nodded yes. I ushered them onto the elevator. I commanded it to go to the Assembly Floor, then explained what was about to happen. "Now, this floor isn't quite done, so don't step on anything that's not metal" I said "You got it." Scootaloo replied as she and the other fillies snapped to attention. I swear, i think they're making fun of me. "Ya still didn't tell us what ya needed us for." Apple Bloom pointed out "Well, Princess Celestia gave me a very special project: she challenged me to make a robot that could integrate with pony society, something that could blend in. I think I've figured it out, but he needs a few actual ponies to help him." I explained. "Wait, YOU made a pony?" Scootaloo asked. "I thought only mares could do that." Sweetie Belle said. "I'm not having that conversation." I said The door opened to a large open room bustling with machines running and rolling to and fro. It had taken weeks to excavate the underside of the base and even now, there was only a basic skeleton of steel supports holding back the earth around it. it would take more time to turn it into a fully functioning maintenance bay for the Ponyville mechs, but I was well on my way. "Wow." Scootaloo said in awe, "Did you do all this?" "Technically, we did." We turned to see a floating disc with various arms dangling underneath. This was my new head technician. "Captain, I was just about to call you." it said, "We're almost done reinforcing the skeleton, then we can begin adding the walls." "Thanks for the update, Tau" I replied, "Let Raven know what parts you need so she can ship them here." "Will do, Sir." he said, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" "Not right now, Tau." I said, "You're dismissed." The hovering drone banked to the left and flew off "Ah thought Tau couldn't talk." Apple Bloom said as we continued through the cavernous space. "I gave him a new body." I explained, "This one comes with a voice box. But that isn't what you need to see." Another door hissed as it opened, revealing a set of crane arms. This was the only room finished room, since it was the one I really needed. "This is the final assembly room, where all my machines will be 'born', so to speak." I reached to a large switch on the wall and forced it downwards, causing the lights inside to turn on one at a time. Eventually illuminating the last assembly table; and sitting on it was a small machine, no bigger than the fillies with me. "Unit 10-0-21, Activate." I commanded. The machine shuddered as it's servos lit up, unfolding the four legs underneath of it. It stood shakily on these legs as the front unfolded into a head and neck, a smooth dark red and white mane protruding from the back and a short conical horn extending from his forehead. A light in it's eyes began glowing a bright orange, and it turned to face me. "Hello Dad." the machine said. It's voice was a bit tinny, higher pitched than most of the robots I had. "Good afternoon, Sparkplug." I replied. The small machine hopped off the table and shook his body, eliciting a symphony of pops and cracks. "So, what are we going to do today?" he asked happily, then noticing the other ponies on three room, all of them dumbstruck by what they saw. "Actually, Sparky, there's something else we're gonna try." I said, gesturing to the ponies. "You built me three sisters?" he asked. His eyes blinked like a camera shutter. "No, these are non-robotic ponies." I said, "They were the inspiration for you." "Oh." He replied, "Hi. I'm Sparkplug." The fillies stood motionless. "I think they're broken." he said as he walked toward them, "I didn't do that, did I?" "He looks just like a pony." Sweetie Belle said finally. "That's what I was going for." I said, "He's an Artificial Intelligence, housed in a prototype Equine body." "No wonder you and Twilight get along." Scootaloo said sarcastically, "You sound the same." And you sound like a pegesus I know. "He means I'm special." he said, beaming with pride "Very special." I said, "He's the closest thing I could make to an actual pony, without needing to sign any adoption papers." "Is he really a robot?" Scootaloo asked, taking a few steps toward him, "He has fur and a mane and everything. Robots don't have that, do they?" "Take a look." He said. Suddenly his body went rigid, and his skin seemed to split along his joints. Underneath, his aluminum skeleton housing every system. The three fillies gasped at the now skinless mech and ran behind me. Sparkplug just smiled, which looked like a demonic skull. "Sparky, what did I tell you about doing that?" I said, gently scolding the mech. He was suppose to use that when I needed to fix something, but I guess I built a part of my sense of humor into him. The smile left his face and he hung his head. "I'm sorry." The plates folded back into place, returning him to his normal appearance. "Ok, definitely a robot." Apple Bloom said as she emerged from behind me. They didn't seem scared, more startled by his display. "So what do we do?" Scootaloo said. "Well, I need the three of you to help him adjust to being a pony." I said, "Basically, I need you to be his friends." "Friends?" Sparkplug asked, "What's are friends?" "See what I mean?" I said, then turning back to the mech, "Sparkplug, That's what Tau and Nautilus are to you." "Ohhh." "He's not going to go crazy like that really big robot did that one time, is he?" "Why would I do that?" he asked. "There's your answer." I said, "Look, just treat him like any other pony." "Just don't expect me to swim." he added "I'm too heavy." "But your the same size we are." Sweetie Belle said, "How can you be too heavy to swim?" "I'm made of aluminum, steel and copper; much more dense than bone." "That, and the water would short out your systems." I reminded him. "So, what do we do now?" Sparkplug asked the fillies. "Well, usually we go crusadin' for our Cutie Marks." Apple Bloom said, "But, um..." "What?" Sparkplug asked. "Captain, do robots get Cutie Marks?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Normally? No. But like I said, he's special." "Dad gave me a special skill, I just don't know what it is." He said. "THAT little system took me weeks to get right." I said, "But there's another system you should know about. He isn't a warbot like the rest of my mechs, but I DID give him something to protect himself with." The fillies all shrugged back from him, afraid they'd set him off. "Relax, nothing he has will do more than hurt a bit." I assured them, "If he feels threatened, he has what I call a Contact Defense System. Anything that touches him receives a mild electric shock." "Wait, when did I get that?" Sparkplug asked "Yesterday." I replied, "Now..." I lead the four out of the room and back into the cavern. From there, I linked to the massive bay doors built into the hill and opened them, revealing the town. "...I think you have Cutie Marks to find." The happy fillies bolted out the door, Sparkplug in tow. I heard the disrupted air of Tau's floating platform hovering next to me. "Sir, I hate to bring this up, but..." "Relax Tau. What kind of trouble could they possibly get into?" Two of his arms moved as though shrugging. "If you say so, Sir." A little over a month later. "Ok Tau, the first shipment of wall parts just arrived." I said as I walked through the lower level, "The next one will be here next week." "Actually, Sir, with the number of heavy lifters here, it may only take a few days to install the parts." "Really?" I asked. I knew these guys were efficient, but I didn't know they were THAT good. "Well, just give Raven a call." I said. Then I saw something in my heads up display: A small yellow symbol that looked a bit like Twilight's Cutie Mark. I reached for my communicator. "Sparkplug? Is something wrong?" I asked. "Um...I think so." He replied weakly, "Could...could you come down to the school?" "On my way." I replied, then turning to Tau. "Do I get to say 'i told you so' yet?" he asked. If he had a face, I'd probably want to smack it. "Shut up Frisbee." I left the base through the large bay doors and headed for the school house across town. I had met with the school teacher, Cheerilee twice before. The first time was when she noticed Sparkplug was never in her class and asked me if I'd like to enroll him. I figured it would be a good way for him to learn about being a pony The second time as when I had to explain to him he can't just blurt out the answer when he gets it. I really hoped he wasn't in too much trouble. I Walked down the path from the main road and opened the door. Inside was my grey colt and the...I think that color is called 'fuchsia'...mare, also in the room was Filthy Rich and his daughter, Diamond Tiara. "Hello Captain." Cheerilee said. "Hi Dad." Sparkplug said, turning around on his chair. "So, Sparkplug said he might be in trouble?" I said. "You're right he is." "Always a pleasure, Mr. Rich." I replied sarcastically. C'mon, you know you want to shoot him. "Well, it seems that your 'son' and Diamond Tiara might have gotten into a bit of a fight." "Really?" I said, looking to the mech. He turned away as though guilty. I was about to ask who won. "Yes, and that little machine decided to electrocute my daughter." Filthy said. "I said it was an accident." Sparkplug said. "How do you 'accidently' hit somepony with a lighting bolt?" Filthy snapped, "That's called assault." Shoot him! "Mr. Rich, While Sparkplug may not be a real pony per se, he is still a part of this class." Cheerilee snapped, "You will not talk about him like that." "Why not? It's not like you can offend a machine." He replied, "And besides, it attacked my daughter. I'm not about to play nice with a weapon" "I'm not just a machine." Sparkplug said, "Dad said I'm special." "And you are." I assured him, running a hand over his mane, "Unlike Filthy, you do have emotion. That's what separates you from others." "That and the weapons he uses whenever he pleases." Filthy added. "Filthy, don't make me come over there." I said sharply. "See? Even he's out of control." "You did provoke him." Cheerilee said, "But please try to control yourself, Captain." I like this teacher. "How did I provoke him?" He said, "I just stated a fact." "No, you made an assumption." I said, "You assume he is able to control his defense system, when he can't." "Then why does he have it when he can't control it?" He replied, "You put all these children in danger, just so you could play with machines." I folded my arms over my chest. "Are you done whining like a little bitch yet?" "Captain: language!" The teacher snapped. "English." I replied, "Now, if your quite done, I'd like to see what happened." "And how do you plan to do that?" Filthy asked. "Simple, machines have a lot of benefits over biological creatures." I said, "One of them is an eidetic memory. the other is the ability to link to other machines." "Do you want me to play what I saw?" Sparkplug asked. I nodded. Linking to his system, I turned my projector on, creating an orange screen in the air. It was covered i static, but as Sparkplug neared the memory, it cleared up. "Here it is, just like I saw it." Author's Note I don't like filthy or his daughter. Did I make that clear enough? Red thoughts are those of the Chaotic side. A New Spark: part two"How did you manage to get an 'A' on that test, Spark?" Scootaloo asked the mech. Recess had just started and the quartet of ponies was on their way to the playground. "Math really isn't that hard, Scootaloo." He replied, "You just can't hear the lessons over your snoring." Sweetie and Apple Bloom both snickered into their hooves. "Oh har har, very funny." he pegesus said, "You could stare at a rock for hours. I'm a pony of action." Scootaloo struck a very Rainbow Dash-esque pose. "And you show it by...falling asleep in class?" The group was almost to the playground when they met with another pair of fillies. One was pink with a pastel purple and white mane, and a tiny crown that matched her Cutie Mark. The other was a lighter color grey than Sparkplug was, but had a two-toned grey mane and light blue glasses. "Oh look, it's the blank flanks." The pink one sneered. Sparkplug looked to the pony next to him, Apple Bloom, for what to do. "Just ignore 'em." She whispered, "They'll go away eventually." "What's a blank flank anyway?" he asked, "They keep calling me that." "It's a pony that doesn't have a cutie mark yet." Scootaloo said, "They got theirs last year." The pair of ponies forced themselves into the way, blocking their path. "How can you be a pony and not know that?" Silver Spoon asked. "Because, he's not a pony." Diamond Tiara said, "He's one of those weird metal things." "I'm not THAT weird, am I?" The robot asked. "You might look like a pony, but you'll never be a real pony." she said "I already am a real pony." he replied proudly, "That's what Dad said. If he said I am, that's plenty good enough for me." "Hmph. Well MY daddy says the Captain is selfish and stupid." Diamond said, matter-of-factly. I paused the flashback and looked over to the stallion in question. "So I'm selfish and stupid now?" I said, glaring at Filthy Rich. "I never said that." he replied quickly. Can we shoot him NOW? Later, maybe. "Yes you did." Diamond interjected, "Right after you got home the last time you tried to buy his robots." "Don't worry about it." I said with a smile as I restarted the video, "I've called you WAY worse." The fillies looked to the colt to see what he would do. They had expected him to flip when she insulted the Captain, but Sparkplug just stood stock still, as though a statue. "What? No clever comeback?" Diamond hissed. "Ah told him to ignore you." Apple Bloom said, "That's what he's doin'." "See, you can't even think on your own." The pony said. Sparkplug held his ground. if it weren't for his eyes moving, he'd look like a piece of lawn art. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" Sparkplug's friends could see Diamond was getting furious, and they could see his eyes were changing color. He was feeling threatened by her, but he was suppose to ignore her. "Diamond, don't!" Scootaloo shouted. She watched as the bully reached out a hoof and tried to put it to his chest on an attempt to push him, But he quickly backed up, keeping her from shocking herself. "You really don't want to do that." he said, "You might get hurt." "Oh really?" she asked, "So now you're going to hurt me?" "If you keep trying to touch me, then yes." he warned her. Darn it, that sounded like a threat. He thought, I just want her to leave me and my friends alone. Diamond's resolve stayed strong. She reached out again, surprising the Equimech and managing to make contact. Just as her hoof touched the faux fur exterior, an arc of electricity shot up her leg, contracting her muscles and forcing her to jump back in pain. She shook her hoof to rid it of the stinging, then looked back at her sidekick. Silver Spoon was almost as shocked as Diamond, just staring at the metal pony. "Y-you'll be sorry for this." Diamond said as she and her crony retreated, "I'm telling Ms. Cheerilee." The memory dissolved into static as it ended. "I'm betting Diamond didn't say any of that." I said. Cheerilee looked over to the other pair. "No, she didn't." the teacher confirmed, "Sparkplug, is that really what happened?" "Yes Miss Cheerilee, that's exactly as I remember it." he said, "Straight from my memory banks." "And you did warn her what would happen?" She asked. "I tried to, but she wouldn't listen." Cheerilee's gaze softened. "I believe you, Sparkplug." she said, "You're a good student, and would never hurt somepony on purpose." This set Filthy off. "You're seriously going to believe a glorified kitchen appliance over an actual pony?" "You call him one more name, so help me..." "What are you going to do?" Filthy snapped, "Shoot me?" I reached down toward my holster. That is a fantastic idea. "I wasn't going to SAY that, but now that you suggest it." Sparkplug stuck out a hoof, stopping me. "Look, I'm sorry for what happened." Sparkplug said, "I didn't want to hurt you, Diamond, but I did warn you what would happen." "And that is why you're not in trouble." Cheerilee said, "Captain, You and Sparkplug can go." "How can you just let that thing go? It tried to hurt my daughter." "No, he tried to protect himself." Cheerilee said. "If you want something that can hurt you, I have a few Titans can accommodate you." I reminded him as I stood to my full height. It is so easy to be intimidating when you're twice someone's size. "Could we not tell the Titans about this?" Sparkplug asked, "Ti-86 got them in enough trouble." "I was just kidding, Sparky." I said as I opened the door, "Let's go." Outside, Sparkplug and I headed back toward home, ready to forget about this. "I'm proud of you, little guy." I said. "For hurting Diamond Tiara?" he asked. Yes, I'm quite proud of that. "No, you didn't give in to her harassment." I said, "And you did it without intimidating or force." "But I still hurt her." he said, "I didn't want to, but she wouldn't listen." "And that is why I'm proud of you." I said, "You did everything you could to protect her, even though she was mean to you." "So...I did the right thing?" he asked hopefully. Stop making things complicated I thought. "Yes, you did the right thing." I assured him, "But are you sure I shouldn't send a Titan to school with you tomorrow? All you have to do is ask." "Daaaaad." He groaned. Chemical InfatuationA trio of fillies and a young colt walked down the street of Ponyville, pouring ever thought into a very pressing issue: getting their Cutie Marks in Matchmaking. "C'mon Crusaders, If we're gonna be matchmakers we have ta find two ponies ta match." Apple Bloom said. "How about Cheerilee and, I don't now, Big Mac?" Scootaloo offered. "We can't do that. If they fall in love, then who'll help me 'n Applejack on the farm?" Apple Bloom replied. "This would be a lot easier if we knew more stallions." Sweetie Belle said. "How about that really strong pony and Fluttershy?" Apple Bloom said. "You mean Snowflake?" Scootaloo asked, "Are you crazy?" "Well, who else is there?" Sweetie Belle asked. "We've already been through all the stallions in town." Apple Bloom said, then mumbled under her breath, "All six of 'em." "Not EVERY stallion." A tinny voice said. It belonged to Equestria's first and so far only mechanized pony. Built by Archangel to test whether he could build a pony-based frame, he has since become a friendly addition to Ponyville. "What other pony is there?" Scootaloo asked the mech. "Well, technically, my dad would be considered a stallion." He said, "I've heard some of the other ponies call him that." "Wait, the Captain? Where are we gonna find another human?" Scootaloo asked. "I never said I had a plan." He said, "I'm just saying..." "Hey look!" Scootaloo said getting the other's attention. The filly pointed her hoof at something across the street. "Is that the Captain?" Scootaloo asked, "And Twilight?" The other crusaders turned to see the human soldier and the unicorn librarian, both talking about something and laughing together. "Yeah?" Sparkplug confirmed , "Why?" "I think I have an idea." A look of shock washed over Sparkplug and he scrambled away from Scootaloo, hiding behind a nearby flower bush. "What's wrong with you?" The pegesus asked. Sparkplug peeked out from behind the bush. "It's dangerous when you think." He said with a smile. Scootaloo just rolled her eyes. "At least I have an idea, Metalhead." she shot back. Sparkplug trotted out from behind his makeshift barricade. "Well? Are ya gonna tell us what it is?" "Well, Sparkplug says the Captain counts as a stallion, right?" "Right.' The others replied. "And Twilight is a mare, right?" "Yes...wait...you're not saying..." Sparkplug started to ask. "Yes." Scootaloo said, "Why don't we try to match THEM together." "That has got to be..." Sparkplug stopped to think about this for a second, then his orange eyes lit up, "...the best idea I've heard all day." "C'mon then: To the Clubhouse!" The four friends thrust their hooves into the air, Musketeer style. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MATCHMAKERS! YAY!" A little later at Crusader HQ "Ok, so I know this is our plan, but does anypony have any idea how to pull this off?" Sparkplug asked. "Ooh I know!" Sweetie Belle squeaked, "Why don't we set up some kind of romantic dinner or something. Rarity always talks about that kind of thing when she thinks I can't hear her." "I don't think that'll work, Sweetie." Sparkplug said, "We're dealing with a tactical genius and a trotting encyclopedia. We need something neither of them would see coming." "The Captain can see through walls." Scootaloo said, "How do we beat something like that?" "Sparkplug, d'ya think there's anythin' in them fancy computers that could help us?" Sparkplug brought a hoof to his face with a metallic clank. "Why didn't I think of that?" he asked rhetorically. From behind his left ear a short silver stick poked itself out from his head, a small red light blinking intermittently. Sparkplugs eyes twitched as he interfaced with his home: what the other ponies called Angel's Rest. "Ok, I'm in." he said, "But what should I look for? There has to be terabytes of data in here." "Look for how ta make two ponies fall in love." Apple Bloom suggested. Sparkplug entered his search and quickly sifted through the data he had in front of his eyes. "How much can he possibly have in there?" the impatient Pegesus asked. "More than you'd think." The robot replied, "He's been transcribing books from Twilight's library so he can access them when he needs to. So far just a bunch of history books and...Oh. That looks good." "What? What is it?" the fillies asked. "It's a recipe." he said as he scanned the information, "It was used by a prince who wanted a princess to fall in love with him. I was what started Hearts and Hooves day in the first place." "So is it a love potion or somethin'?" Apple Bloom asked. "Exactly. And it looks pretty simple: a tuft of cloud, a bright rainbow's glow, stir with a pegesus feather." he read, "It looks like if we can get them both to drink it, they'll fall in love." "That's perfect!" Sweetie Belle squeaked again, "Let's do it." Sparkplug disconnected from the database and followed his friends. If only he'd read a little further. The Crusaders set to work collecting the parts to make their love potion: Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle set to work trying to find a rainbow to use, while Sparkplug and Scootaloo went to collect a cloud. Turns out you can collect Rainbow Color with a vacuum cleaner. The Cloud would be a bit of a challenge: Sparkplug was a unicorn (kinda) and Scootaloo can't fly. "I know where there's a few low clouds, but they're still way too high up." Scootaloo said as they headed for Angel's Rest. "Don't worry about that." Sparkplug assured her, "I have an idea." Once the pair arrived, Sparkplug left Scootaloo and headed inside the vehicle bay. He knew what he needed: a Titan. They were tall enough to lift him up to one of the heavier clouds that hung around the base. As he entered the large room, he saw the various vehicles and maintenance bots. He eventually found one he could talk to. "Hi Tau, have you seen Nautilus?" He asked the multi armed mech. A whistle and beeping, followed by pointing off deeper into the bay was his answer. Sparkplug thanked him and continued on soon finding the massive robot lifting a tire onto a vehicle. The robot turned when he heard the small pony approach. "Sparkplug." he said in a deep voice. Nautilus was the replacement for the Ti-86 that had broken free. Just as a precaution, he was never armed and had his armor downgraded heavily. Nautilus didn't mind, he understood the reason and preferred working in the motor pool. "Hi Nautilus. Um, can you help me with something?" Sparkplug asked. He knew full well none of the mechs could say 'no' to him: they all saw him as a little brother. "Of course." he replied. Sparkplug lead the way back outside with Nautilus following carefully. Once outside, Sparkplug told the mech what he needed. "I need to get a piece of that cloud for...a school project." He said, knowing he couldn't tell him what he ACTUALLY needed it for: Nautilus might tell his dad. "Only Pegasi can touch clouds." Nautilus reminded him. Sparkplug gestured to the orange filly behind him. "I know, that's why I need you to lift her up to get it." Nautilus either stared or glared at the filly for a few seconds before determining this could work. He lowered a hand to the ground, letting her hop on. The look of terror on the Pegesus' face was understandable: she remembered Fluttershy telling her to hide, then seeing one of these crash through town. "Don't be scared, Scootaloo." Sparkplug said as he tapped on the Titan's foot, "Nautilus would never hurt you, right Nautilus?" "Never." He replied. With Sparkplug's promise of safety, Scootaloo climbed onto the large robot's hand. Being over nine feet tall, Nautilus was plenty big enough to lift Scootaloo to the cloud in question. Extending his arm and his reversed-jointed legs to there limits, he carefully lifted the pony into the air, just within reach of the cloud. The orange pony looked up to see her prize inches away from her. Standing on her back legs, she reached out with her muzzle to grab the cloud in her teeth. She shook her head side-to-side to break the mass of water vapor off, but quickly threw herself off balance. She fell backwards with a yelp and slid down Nautilus' arm. The Titan was too big to move fast enough to catch her, but Sparkplug jumped into action. "Scootaloo!" he shouted as he ran under where she would land. The Pegesus bounced off the armored shoulder plate, her tiny wings buzzing to try to stop herself. Just when she expected to feel the ground, she instead felt cold metal under her. Did Nautilus catch me? She thought. She opened her eyes, which had been closed tightly when she fell, and saw the familiar steel colored eyes of the Captain. "Nice of you to drop in." He said with a smile. She froze when she saw him: She had to be careful not to let on to what she was doing. "Dad?" Sparkplug said in surprise, "When did you get here?" "I came back to get a book for Twilight on artificial intelligence." He replied as he let the pegesus jump back on the ground, "That's when I saw the three of you trying to catch a cloud." "Yeah, we needed it for Hearts and Hooves Day." Scootaloo said, trying not to let on she wasn't telling the whole truth. She didn't know Sparkplug had already given them a cover story. "Not a school project?" Nautilus asked before looking to the ponybot, "You said it was for school." Archangel could see something wasn't right here. "Sparky, what's going on?" he asked. Now he was in trouble: he couldn't say he was making a potion, and the school project cover was blown. Luckily, Scootaloo had it covered. "We needed it to make something for Miss Cheerilee." she said, "She's such a good teacher, we wanted to make something really special for her." "Yeah, that's what I meant." the ponybot said quickly, "I didn't want anyone to find out about it." The Captain and the Titan looked to each other as though trying to figure out what just happened. But eventually the soldier turned back. "Ok then, have fun." he said. The two ponies thanked him and quickly ran off to the Clubhouse. "That was WAY too close." Sparkplug said as they entered the treehouse. They were greeted by the other half of the group who already had their part of the potion ready in a pitcher. "What took ya'll so long?" Apple Bloom said as Scootaloo dropped the cloud into the concoction. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get cloud when you can't fly?" Sparkplug asked, "Oh that reminds me..." "Hey, what are you..?" Scootaloo was trying to ask. Before she could finish, Sparkplug's head had dropped to her left wing, where he grabbed a feather in his teeth and yanked it out. "OW!" the filly yelped, examining her tiny wing, "Why'd you do that?" "Stir with a pegesus feather." He reminded her. Giving the mixture a few stirs with the feather, Sparkplug completed the potion, evident by the pink heart-shaped puff of smoke that shot out of it. "OK, stage one is complete." Sparkplug said, "How do we get them to drink it?" "I know just the thing..." Sweetie Belle said. "I'm back Twi." I said as I returned to the library. I had to leave to get a book I had on Artificial Intelligence. We'd been hanging out today, since neither of us really like Hearts and Hooves day, and I had no massively important things to do. "Hey Jack, did you put this here?" The unicorn asked as the door swung shut. I looked to see what she was talking about: on the table in the library was a large bottle filled with a pink liquid, as well as a pair of small glasses. "I just got back, sorry it took so long, my technician needed me to look at something." I said, "You didn't see who did it?" I took the bottle and looked it over: it looked like a normal wine bottle, but it didn't have a label. I took the cork and pulled it out releasing a puff of pink smoke. "Smells kinda like wine." I said, "You don't keep alcohol here, do you?" "No, I really don't need Spike accidentally drinking something even a little flammable." she replied. "Well then, care for a drink?" I asked. She looked a little hesitant. "We have no idea where that came from, what if it's bad or something?" I held my hand open and tipped the bottle over, getting a drop to land in my palm. The semi-porous material let the liquid sink in, where my computers began to analyze it. A few seconds later, it came up safe. "Relax, there's nothing dangerous in it." I said, "It doesn't even look like it has that much alcohol in it." She still looked a little nervous. "Well..." she replied sheepishly, "if YOU say it's safe...I guess a little couldn't hurt." "That's the spirit." I said, as I grabbed the pair of glasses "Heh, 'spirit'." I poured about half a glass for each of us, before putting the bottle down and letting Twilight take hers with her magic. "To friends?" I said, offering my glass. "Friends." She replied with a smile, clinking her glass on mine. We both downed the pink liquid, which burned like moonshine the whole way down. I coughed as the contents hit my stomach, shaking my head to try to clear the taste of ethanol. "Jesus, who's liquor cabinet did this come from?" I asked with a cough, "It tastes like jet fuel." I looked to Twilight, mostly to see how she was adjusting to the powerful mix. What I saw was completely different. Twilight's eyes were only half-open, like she was really sleepy and she was staring right into my eyes, kind creepy. "Uh, you alright Twi?" I asked. She never looked away from me. Her smile softened. "I'm here with you." She replied in a tone I could only describe as amorous, "Everything's just perfect" That's when I started feeling weird. All my muscles and servos began to relax, and my cheeks started to heat up. I watched my HUD fade from view, leaving only the Unicorn in front of me. "You know, I never noticed how cute you are." I said with a calm smile, "And I always did like smart girls." What the fuck? Why in the hell did you just say that? I felt like when my chaotic side had forced itself into control and I felt bolts of pleasure run through me like sniper rounds. Why the hell was this happening? I mean, I like Twilight and all, but not like this. "You always know what to say." Twilight cooed with a blush. She slowly walked toward me as I tried to back up. I felt paralyzed as she approached me: my body wasn't even acting like it could hear my brain screaming at it to do something, anything, to get away. Twilight stood up on her back legs, supporting herself on my chest with the front ones. We were eye to eye, inches apart. I was losing my shit inside, but outside, I must have looked like I was enjoying this. "Alert: Emotional safeguards exceeded." A voice in my head said as my eyes blacked out, "Dumping data to emergency drive." Uh oh "Shutting down." Reinitializing ... ... ... Diagnostics Complete "Good to see you are still with us." A computerized voice said. I opened my eyes to see Guardian standing in front of me. "What the hell happened?" I asked as I rubbed my head. I looked around to see I was sitting on the couch in the Library, with Twilight curled up next to me, asleep. I very ungracefully scooted away from her, not wanting whatever had happened before to continue. "You need not be worried, Captain. Ms. Sparkle is sleeping off the tranquilizer I gave her." Guardian said. "You tranq'ed her?" I asked. "She would not allow me near you, so I had to." He replied, "It will cause no side effects. The potion on the other hand..." He produced the bottle from earlier. "Potion?" "Yes, analysis indicates it is designed to create a powerful aphrodesic effect." He explained, "It appears to work with the optic center of the brain. Whenever the drinkers see one another, a massive amount of dopamine is release, creating an addicting effect as well as perpetuating the toxin." "So it feeds itself." "Yes, however, if starved of dopamine for long enough, it will not have enough fuel to continue." "But how long does that take?" I asked, "And how shitty am i going to feel?" "My estimation predicts it takes one hour for the effects to dissipate. You will not suffer any withdrawal symptoms." "No withdrawal?" I asked, "That much stimulation must have a drawback." "You do not suffer from such reactions." He turned his gaze to Twilight, "Ms. Sparkle will not be so lucky." "Anything we can do?" I asked. Now that she wasn't creepily obsessed with me, I really did want to help her. "Water and food might help." he replied, "No real remedy for this exists." I nodded and headed for Twilight's kitchen. I returned a few minutes later with a tall glass of water. "I'm not messing with anything in there." I said, "It's all labeled and alphabetized." "Given who lives here, does that surprise you?" Guardian asked. I answered with a chuckle. I set the glass down on the table and just watched her sleep, waiting for her to wake up. That's when a thought entered my head. "Hey, G, how weird would it be if I DID fall in love with a pony?" I asked. "You just did." He replied. "No, I mean naturally." I clarified, "Like, legitimately." "Was there a mare you had in mind?" he asked "Are you going to answer me or keep being a smartass?" "You are worried whether it would be considered inappropriate?" He asked. I nodded. "I am unfamiliar with relationships." Guardian said, "But if both are able to make the decision to enter one, does species truly matter?" "You're the only one I know that can apply logic to love and have it work." Later The explosion of fireworks overhead filled the air as Firestorm and Ponyville's resident pyro-technician, Powder Keg, put on a show for Hearts and Hooves Day. I had to admit, from the tree I was sitting under, it looked awesome. Everything was heart shaped and red or pink: not my colors, but still... "Mind if I join you?" I looked to see it was Twilight. "I see you're feeling better." I said. "Thanks to you and Guardian." She solemnly replied. "Anything for a friend." I said. The pony sat down next to me. She seemed a little tense. "You sure you're ok?" "I just can't believe what happened." she said, "I mean, us falling in love?" "Am I not good enough for you?" I asked. She started to turn red. "No! I mean...I just..." She stuttered. "I'm just kidding, Twi." I chuckled. She just scowled an punched me in the shoulder. "You're mean." she said playfully. "I never said I was nice." I reminded her, "That was you girls." We sat in silence for a few seconds, before she asked another question. "So, do you really think I'm cute?" Twilight asked. I turned to look at her, really hoping she didn't just ask that. "Do I have to answer that?" I asked. The unicorn turned to me, a devious smile set on her muzzle. "No, it's just fun to see you turn that red." she replied, giggling at my discomfort. "Just watch the damn fireworks." Author's Note Sorry, I'll have a chapter about Sparkplug in here eventually. I wanted this to be kind of a Valentine's Day chapter. A really long chapter.
Raiders of the MonolithAfter the defeat of Discord, we had to do some serious damage control over Equestria. The blast from the Elements of Harmony had caused a few odd occurrences where his magic was most concentrated. One of them had apparently piqued Celestia's interest as she had sent a letter to Twilight detailing what her scouts had found. What they described was beyond belief: a monolith of massive size had been uncovered in the desert south of Appleloosa. The guards that had been assigned to explore it returned with stories of shifting hallways, disembodied voices, and most chillingly; a sentient shadow that followed them. Celestia was asking that Twilight and I go and examine the structure, determine its origin, and if possible; find a use for it. We were going over what we knew on the Albatross ride there. "So basically, she needs us to go check out some creepy cave that freaked out her scouts?" "More or less." Twilight confirmed for me. "Ok, so this just sounds like dungeoneering to me ." I said from the workbench as I disassembled my rifle. I hadn't had much time to optimize it for indoor combat. "What?" Twilight asked. "You know; go in, explore, loot. Explorer stuff." I replied. She just rolled her eyes and mumbled something about being in a Daring Do book, I slid the 508 barrel out of my weapon and reached for the 350. That's when the transport lurched to the side and nearly threw me off my feet, but did send the parts of my weapon flying. Luckily, Twilight had caught the parts and levitated them over to me. "What difference does it make if the front part is shorter?" Twilight asked as I began reassembling the bullpup rifle. Twilight had shown a little bit of interest in the technology behind my weapons, and I was always happy to educate when it came to firearms. "Same reason they make abridged books: sacrifice a little quality to be easier to handle." I replied. That is officially my favorite analogy. "Do you really expect there to be some kind of danger?" I put the now assembled rifle down and faced her. "Seriously? Twilight, whenever one of us is involved, crazy stuff happens." I pointed out, "With both of us here, I wouldn't be surprised if an entire army dropped in on us." "Point taken." she replied, "but what can we really expect? I mean, all the guards came back shaken but unharmed. If there was something dangerous, wouldn't it have tried to hurt them." I checked on the Albatross' progress; seeing we were almost there, I grabbed my rifle and attached it to the magnetic holster on my back. "We're about to find out." Then I heard a beeping sound. Incoming fire the Albatross computer said, Evading "That's not good, is it?" Twilight asked. The transport banked to the left as a flak shell burst off the right. "So much for harmless." I said as I held on to the handle on the roof. Since when do ancient monoliths have anti-aircraft guns? The transport weaved around the explosive shells but as we reached about a thousand feet out, the craft shuddered violently. An alarm in the ship went off indicating the problem Warning, Engine 2 disabled. Attempting to compensate The Albatross began losing altitude, but the Triple A was still trying to kill us. "Hold on, Twilight!" I shouted over the bombardment. Eventually, the transport dropped below the area of influence and the shells stopped flying. Brace for impact The ship attempted to rotate it's engines into landing mode, but it wouldn't be a soft landing. As the single engine struggled to power both turbines, it quickly gave out dropping the craft into the sand and throwing both Twilight and I into the forward bulkhead. "Ugh...ow," I groaned before looking for Twilight, "You ok, Twilight?" The unicorn slid down from the top of the wall and was now leaning upside down against it. She righted herself and answered that she was fine. I wordlessly stood and dropped the ramp, which crashed to the ground. I was blindsided by the searing wind and I had to shield my eyes against the punishing sun while my Aug-eye polarized, but eventually, I could see the target. The guards had been right: it was huge. From where I stood, it look to be the length of a naval cruiser, but about the height of an aircraft carrier and was a pristine sliver in color. What I was worried about right now was the Albatross, our only way home. I walked around the side and saw the engine, or what was left of it. Those cannons had chewed a ragged chunk out of the nacelle, as well as peppering the wing with shrapnel. "Ok, so we aren't going back the way we came." I concluded as I shook my head at the damage. "Maybe we can find a way back inside." Twilight said as she pointed at the...whatever it is. "I just want to know why it has automated air defenses." I switched to thermal vision mode and scanned the outside of the...temple, for lack of a better word. The outside was orange hot, but I found a spot that was radiating cooler blue air. I drew attention to it and approached. "This doesn't look like a door." Twilight said as she ran a hoof along the wall. I had to agree, there were no seams in the wall, yet I had just seen cool air seeping from the wall. I placed a hand on the 'door' and was shocked by what happened. Once I made contact, the door made a sharp hiss, shuddered and separated into interlocking strips. "Access granted." A deep reverberating voice said as the door slid open, "Welcome, Operator Archangel." "How did you do that?" Twilight asked, "and how did that voice know your name?" I brought out my rifle and flipped off the safety. "I don't know, and I don't like it" I said as I entered the passage. I looked around hoping to find something that could clue me in on what this thing was. I found it instantly: the interior was made of metal and the walls were lined with small lights. It looked like... "Everything here looks like stuff from your house, Archangel." Twilight said. I found it funny that the ponies saw my base as just a fancy house. After all, how many houses have a rocket launcher battery and a howitzer mounted on the roof? "I noticed, but where did it come from?" I asked, "I've never seen this thing before." The corridor we were standing in was suddenly darkened as the door behind us closed. I scanned the area, searching for any danger when Twilight's ears suddenly snapped up. "What is it?" I asked. She pointed down the hallway. "Something just ran down that way." I raised my weapon and the two of us proceeded. I was worried what this thing Twilight had heard could be. "What did you hear exactly?" I asked as I checked a hallway we walked past. "It sounded like hooves." she said, looking down a hallway on the opposite side, "It must have been a shifting hallways, or maybe the shadow." "Halt!" A ringing voice demanded. I turned slightly to see a pair of tall skinny creature standing behind us. It was humanoid in construction, but looked like it was just the skeleton with a grossly deformed skull. I could tell they were holding something, but from where I was, I couldn't tell what it was. I assumed they were weapons of some kind. "Drop your weapons!" the other ordered, gesturing toward the floor with its weapon. I complied, not wanting to get shot. "Stand down, I'm allowed to be here." I said as I turned around, "I'm Operator Archangel" The creatures looked at each other, but there unchanging faces kept me from telling what they were thinking. "Impossible. Operator Archangel registered KIA." It said in its high pitched voice. I looked to Twilight who was worried what would happen. I winked at her, showing I had a plan. "That's too bad," I said, "I heard he was a blast to hang out with." Twilight got the hint and charged up a spell. Before either creature had any clue what was happening, a purple beam tore through the chest of one of them. It stood for a second, then collapsed backwards with a clatter as it hit the floor. Its comrade now distracted by Twilight, my hand shot to my holster, drew the heavy revolver and fired twice into it's chest and once into the head. "Nice shot," I said as I picked up my rifle. "What in Equestria were those things?" I knelt down and rolled the creature Twilight had shot onto it's back. I looked through the hole and noticed small blue sparks of light. Electricity? "Well, I'll be damned," I said in amazement, "This isn't a golem, it's a robot." Twilight saw what I was talking about. These were security drones: weak and incompetent, but cheap and easy to use. "So this place must be from your world." Twilight deduced, "You're the only one who has access to these things." "This is getting weirder and weirder," I added, "How could something this big just...appear?" "I could ask you the same question." I quickly drew my pistol again and turned around to find the new voice. All I found was a Pegasus. "Who are you?" I asked, sighting down on the Khaki colored pony. "Wait. I've seen you before." Twilight said as she gently pushed my gun away, "You wouldn't happen to be..." "Daring Do, world renowned explorer and archeologist," the Pegasus replied confidently, "At your service." This mare was definitely dressed for the part. She wore, as best I can describe it, a safari vest and hat. Her cutie mark was a compass rose, and her mane and tail were both a greyed out rainbow. "And I should be impressed, why?" I said as I replaced my pistol and stood. "He's not from here." Twilight said, "What are you doing here Ms. Do?" "I followed Ahuizotl here" she explained, "He's trying to steal the power housed in this metal mountain." I was about to make some Indiana Jones joke, or maybe even an Uncharted reference, but when she mentioned something was looking for power, I became a bit worried. "If it's power Ah-we-whatever is looking for, he came to the right place." I said, "This place is filled with technology he could use." "Then we have to stop him!" Daring exclaimed, "He can't be allowed to get whatever that power is." "How do we find him though?" Twilight asked, "This place is huge." "I have an idea, but we'd need to find a console." "Does a 'console' look kind of like a desk with flashing lights on it?" Daring asked. Apparently she'd seen one. "More or less. Where did you see it?" "Follow me" the archeologist said as she started off down the corridor she'd come from. We followed for a few minutes until we came to a larger room. "This must be a control room." I said as I approached one of the many control panels. It looked simple enough: just had to key into the security cameras. I began sifting through the commands until I found the one I needed. On a large screen above us, an array of video feeds came online. Daring flew up and got a closer look at a few, then she pointed a one of them. "There. I can see him." The Pegasus said, "But how do we get there?" "I'm working on it." I said as I isolated the camera's position. A few commands later, and I had the location: he was actually close-by in something called the Manu-bay. "Ok, got it. Follow me" I said as I turned away and started off toward...whatever the hell his name was. I had also spliced my radio connection into the audio system so I could hear what was going on. "Either you give me what I want, or I'll just take it from you." Ahuizotl demanded. Another voice answered him. It sounded like a young woman, and she sounded pissed. "I'm not telling you anything," The voice said defiantly, "And there's no way you're gonna make me" "In case you didn't notice, I'm ten times your size." "In case you didn't here me earlier, I'm the only way to get what you want." the voice said, "So threatening me won't help you." "Almost there." I said as we turned a corner. We entered a large room filled with machinery and components but the main attraction was the weird-ass creature that was standing in the middle of it. I had never seen anything so bizarre looking: The rear half looked like a dog with a long tail capped by a hand, but the front was more monkey-esque with pointy ears, and human like hands. It had an upper coat colored a dark blue and a light blue underbelly, along with weird gold armbands. "Ahuizotl!" Daring shouted, getting the creatures attention. It turned around and...Oh my god, he looks so stupid. How do I explain this...Well, you know how ponies have a muzzle where there mouth and nose are but their eyes are back on there actual head? Well Ahuizotl entire face was like a muzzle and his eyes were where his nostrils should have been. "Ah, Daring Do, so nice to see you again." the creature sneered, "Your just in time to witness my ascension to greatness." "That's Ah-risotto?" I asked. Daring said yes, and I proceeded to start pointing and laughing. "Ok, first of all it's Ah-we-zo-tul." He clarified, "and second, what's so funny?" "Are you kidding me?" I asked through bouts of laughter. "I've personally met a Draconequus, and you are, by far, the goofier looking of the two." "I never noticed before, but he does look kind of ridiculous." Daring agreed as she took a fighting stance. I already knew Ahuizotl was too big for the three of us to fight on our own, so we needed that android's help. Then I had an idea: maybe I could use my radio to talk to the robot like I do with Guardian. I gave it a shot. Hey, can you hear me? I said to the mech. The forest camo plated machine looked around confused for a second, then set her optics on me. Yes, that was me. Does this room have any kind of automated defenses? The machine nodded yes. Good, get them turned on. We'll keep him distracted She nodded again and I turned my attention back to Ahuizotl. "Is this the best you could do, Daring? A unicorn and a loudmouthed moron?" "I wouldn't underestimate us." I said as grabbed at my belt, "We were born to impress." I pulled a grenade from my belt and tossed it toward him. Like a moron, he just stared at the small canister as it bounced and rolled between his front legs. A few seconds later, it exploded with a deafening bang and a blinding flash that causing him to flinch back and flail around. I followed it up with a burst from my rifle, peppering him center mass. He lifted a hand to his chest and felt the small amount of blood flowing from his new wound. I am amazed just how solid these animals are built, being able to absorb a full magazine of rifle ammo and just look like a scratch. I saw the A.I. was doing something on the computer console behind her. "See what I mean?" I said as I changed mags. Now we'd pissed him off. His tail reached back and grabbed onto a table, then proceeded to fling the metal rectangle at us. Twilight, thinking quickly, threw up a barrier that the table bounced off of. Ahuizotl growled in frustration. "Security system online." the deep voice from before said. The whining of servos and the screeching of steel-on-steel confirmed the announcement. Small cannons deployed from the ceiling and a few dozen security mechs swarmed into the room, weapons trained on Ahuizotl. His pupils shrank to pinpricks as he realized he was outnumbered and outgunned. "You have five seconds to leave or I'll turn you into slag!" the female robot threatened as she drew a pair of katana from over her shoulders. "You win this one." Ahuizotl growled in defeat, "But I'll be back." He then charged at the three of us. We all dove to the side letting him run for his life, pursued by half of the security mechs. I also watched Daring take off after him; apparently she wasn't interested in the technology, just the fact that he doesn't get it. "Well, that was fun." I said sarcastically as I stood up. I turned to see the camouflaged mech approaching us, swords still drawn, with the remaining security. "Now I need to know who the hell you two are." "Just take it easy, we're not your enemy." I said "That remains to be seen. " She retorted, "Who are you?" "I'm Captain Archangel," I said before pointing out the pony, "And this is Twilight Sparkle." "Wait, Captain Archangel? The Captain Archangel?" She said surprised. There better not be more than one. "I'm the only one made by the Archangel Super-Soldier Project." "That's not possible." she said as she put hr swords away, "You were reported KIA years ago." "What does 'KIA' mean?" Twilight asked, "One of those other robots said the same thing." "It's an acronym for 'Killed In Action'." I said, "But yes, I am the Captain Archangel." The mech folded her thin arms over her chest. "Prove it." "How?" I asked. I had no idea how to prove who I was. She reached behind her back and produced a thin square object. "If you really are Archangel, then you'd know how to access this." The machine handed me the small, flat device. I pressed a button on the front of the panel. "Security Question: When do the wicked rest?" a genderless computer voice said. "When do the wicked rest?" Twilight repeated, "What does that have to do with anything?" "Wait!" I suddenly said, "I know this one. The wicked don't rest until they close there eyes for good." "Security clearance granted. Relaying message." Hey Jack. It's me, Cheyenne. I don't care what the reports said; I know you're out there somewhere. Look, I don't know whether you left on your own or if something forced you, and I don't care. I just needed to tell you...I miss you. I was frozen. This was really her: my partner, the first and only person I had considered a good friend "Maybe we should leave him alone for a bit." Twilight said. The robot agreed and left with the unicorn. I just...I don't know what I ever did before I met you. You were always there for me when others just thought I was a freak. I never had a brother or anything, but you were the only family I needed. You did everything for me: helped me adjust to my implants, standing up for me, literally taking a bullet for me; I couldn't ask for a better friend. I heard a light sniffling sound. Was she...crying? I know it's not like me to get all sappy like this but...dammit, it kills me not knowing where you are. I may never see you again, but please don't worry about me. I'm a big girl now, Jack; I can handle myself and I'll do my best to make you proud. Good luck Jack; I'll never forget you. I was speechless. She had gone to all this trouble just to tell me she as OK. I couldn't help but start tearing up: this was both a great relief and a bit heartbreaking. Cheyenne had been more like a sister than my friend, and just to hear that she was ok was an amazing feeling. "You already have made me proud, Chey." I whispered to myself as I sat down on a table nearby, "You always did." I had to cut my reminiscence short because that robot from earlier came back. "I guess you really are Archangel." She said, "I'm Raven." I hadn't had any time to really examine the robot. Her armor was accented in certain parts and her head looked like she as always wearing a helmet. On her back were a pair of magnetic locks that held her swords and her hips both held a machine pistol. I was also a little confused: her voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't guess who it was. "I was talking with your little friend here." Raven said, "She said you're in charge of defending her country." "That's right, I'm tasked with protecting against...unconventional threats." I replied. "I also understand you were looking for an army." She continued. "Or a way to get one. Why? Do you have one?" "I can do you one better." She said gesturing to the machinery in the room, "This is an MRU: a Manufacturing and Repair Unit." "And? I have one of those back home." "Yes, but this one is bigger, better and capable of creating anything you can think of." "Even Titans and ATLAS mechs?" "Childs play." She said, "I could even make a replacement for that transport you crashed" My gaze moved to Twilight. She could tell I was excited. This would open up so many doors for me: finally, a way to satisfy my need to tinker and experiment, and a way to field an army the likes of which Equestria had never seen. "Twilight, how do you think Celestia would react to me having an army of warbots?" "She trusts you to do the right thing, Archangel." Twilight assured me. "So Captain," The mech said as she snapped to attention, "What are your orders?" "Raven, Get me a transport and get your long range Comms online, We have a lot of work to do." "Yes Sir." Author's Note 508: Standard barrel length (in millimeters) of a standard issue Steyr AUG assault rifle 350: Subcarbine barrel length (in millimeters) of the same rifle. Nacelle: Separate housing for an aircraft engine. Ahuizotl is really easy to scare off.
A New Spark"For the last time Filthy, the answer is 'no'." I said, "It always has been no and it always will be NO." "Can't you see the opportunity you have here, Captain? You possess a product that ponies everywhere could benefit from." "Oh don't pretend like you care about others." I said, "You're concerned with your bottom line and that's it. I'm not selling any of my machines to you." "Think of the money you can make here, Captain." The business pony said, desperately trying to convince me. "Bullets are made of lead, not gold." I said, "If I need it, I can just make it. I don't need your money." "Surely there's something you can't get." the sales pony asked. "Yes, I can't seem to get rid of you." I said, "Do you think you could handle that?" Finally Firestorm interrupted. "Sir, the Crusaders are here." She said, "I'll lead Mr. Rich out." "I appreciate that Storm" I said, "I'm sorry Filthy, I have a very important meeting." Don't let the door hit you on the way out I got up and exited my armory, a bit excited about what I had to show these fillies. I'd been working on a little project and I needed their help testing it. As I passed through the final door, I was greeted by the happy little ponies. "Hello, girls" I replied "I'm sure you're all wondering why I needed you here" They all nodded yes. I ushered them onto the elevator. I commanded it to go to the Assembly Floor, then explained what was about to happen. "Now, this floor isn't quite done, so don't step on anything that's not metal" I said "You got it." Scootaloo replied as she and the other fillies snapped to attention. I swear, i think they're making fun of me. "Ya still didn't tell us what ya needed us for." Apple Bloom pointed out "Well, Princess Celestia gave me a very special project: she challenged me to make a robot that could integrate with pony society, something that could blend in. I think I've figured it out, but he needs a few actual ponies to help him." I explained. "Wait, YOU made a pony?" Scootaloo asked. "I thought only mares could do that." Sweetie Belle said. "I'm not having that conversation." I said The door opened to a large open room bustling with machines running and rolling to and fro. It had taken weeks to excavate the underside of the base and even now, there was only a basic skeleton of steel supports holding back the earth around it. it would take more time to turn it into a fully functioning maintenance bay for the Ponyville mechs, but I was well on my way. "Wow." Scootaloo said in awe, "Did you do all this?" "Technically, we did." We turned to see a floating disc with various arms dangling underneath. This was my new head technician. "Captain, I was just about to call you." it said, "We're almost done reinforcing the skeleton, then we can begin adding the walls." "Thanks for the update, Tau" I replied, "Let Raven know what parts you need so she can ship them here." "Will do, Sir." he said, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" "Not right now, Tau." I said, "You're dismissed." The hovering drone banked to the left and flew off "Ah thought Tau couldn't talk." Apple Bloom said as we continued through the cavernous space. "I gave him a new body." I explained, "This one comes with a voice box. But that isn't what you need to see." Another door hissed as it opened, revealing a set of crane arms. This was the only room finished room, since it was the one I really needed. "This is the final assembly room, where all my machines will be 'born', so to speak." I reached to a large switch on the wall and forced it downwards, causing the lights inside to turn on one at a time. Eventually illuminating the last assembly table; and sitting on it was a small machine, no bigger than the fillies with me. "Unit 10-0-21, Activate." I commanded. The machine shuddered as it's servos lit up, unfolding the four legs underneath of it. It stood shakily on these legs as the front unfolded into a head and neck, a smooth dark red and white mane protruding from the back and a short conical horn extending from his forehead. A light in it's eyes began glowing a bright orange, and it turned to face me. "Hello Dad." the machine said. It's voice was a bit tinny, higher pitched than most of the robots I had. "Good afternoon, Sparkplug." I replied. The small machine hopped off the table and shook his body, eliciting a symphony of pops and cracks. "So, what are we going to do today?" he asked happily, then noticing the other ponies on three room, all of them dumbstruck by what they saw. "Actually, Sparky, there's something else we're gonna try." I said, gesturing to the ponies. "You built me three sisters?" he asked. His eyes blinked like a camera shutter. "No, these are non-robotic ponies." I said, "They were the inspiration for you." "Oh." He replied, "Hi. I'm Sparkplug." The fillies stood motionless. "I think they're broken." he said as he walked toward them, "I didn't do that, did I?" "He looks just like a pony." Sweetie Belle said finally. "That's what I was going for." I said, "He's an Artificial Intelligence, housed in a prototype Equine body." "No wonder you and Twilight get along." Scootaloo said sarcastically, "You sound the same." And you sound like a pegesus I know. "He means I'm special." he said, beaming with pride "Very special." I said, "He's the closest thing I could make to an actual pony, without needing to sign any adoption papers." "Is he really a robot?" Scootaloo asked, taking a few steps toward him, "He has fur and a mane and everything. Robots don't have that, do they?" "Take a look." He said. Suddenly his body went rigid, and his skin seemed to split along his joints. Underneath, his aluminum skeleton housing every system. The three fillies gasped at the now skinless mech and ran behind me. Sparkplug just smiled, which looked like a demonic skull. "Sparky, what did I tell you about doing that?" I said, gently scolding the mech. He was suppose to use that when I needed to fix something, but I guess I built a part of my sense of humor into him. The smile left his face and he hung his head. "I'm sorry." The plates folded back into place, returning him to his normal appearance. "Ok, definitely a robot." Apple Bloom said as she emerged from behind me. They didn't seem scared, more startled by his display. "So what do we do?" Scootaloo said. "Well, I need the three of you to help him adjust to being a pony." I said, "Basically, I need you to be his friends." "Friends?" Sparkplug asked, "What's are friends?" "See what I mean?" I said, then turning back to the mech, "Sparkplug, That's what Tau and Nautilus are to you." "Ohhh." "He's not going to go crazy like that really big robot did that one time, is he?" "Why would I do that?" he asked. "There's your answer." I said, "Look, just treat him like any other pony." "Just don't expect me to swim." he added "I'm too heavy." "But your the same size we are." Sweetie Belle said, "How can you be too heavy to swim?" "I'm made of aluminum, steel and copper; much more dense than bone." "That, and the water would short out your systems." I reminded him. "So, what do we do now?" Sparkplug asked the fillies. "Well, usually we go crusadin' for our Cutie Marks." Apple Bloom said, "But, um..." "What?" Sparkplug asked. "Captain, do robots get Cutie Marks?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Normally? No. But like I said, he's special." "Dad gave me a special skill, I just don't know what it is." He said. "THAT little system took me weeks to get right." I said, "But there's another system you should know about. He isn't a warbot like the rest of my mechs, but I DID give him something to protect himself with." The fillies all shrugged back from him, afraid they'd set him off. "Relax, nothing he has will do more than hurt a bit." I assured them, "If he feels threatened, he has what I call a Contact Defense System. Anything that touches him receives a mild electric shock." "Wait, when did I get that?" Sparkplug asked "Yesterday." I replied, "Now..." I lead the four out of the room and back into the cavern. From there, I linked to the massive bay doors built into the hill and opened them, revealing the town. "...I think you have Cutie Marks to find." The happy fillies bolted out the door, Sparkplug in tow. I heard the disrupted air of Tau's floating platform hovering next to me. "Sir, I hate to bring this up, but..." "Relax Tau. What kind of trouble could they possibly get into?" Two of his arms moved as though shrugging. "If you say so, Sir." A little over a month later. "Ok Tau, the first shipment of wall parts just arrived." I said as I walked through the lower level, "The next one will be here next week." "Actually, Sir, with the number of heavy lifters here, it may only take a few days to install the parts." "Really?" I asked. I knew these guys were efficient, but I didn't know they were THAT good. "Well, just give Raven a call." I said. Then I saw something in my heads up display: A small yellow symbol that looked a bit like Twilight's Cutie Mark. I reached for my communicator. "Sparkplug? Is something wrong?" I asked. "Um...I think so." He replied weakly, "Could...could you come down to the school?" "On my way." I replied, then turning to Tau. "Do I get to say 'i told you so' yet?" he asked. If he had a face, I'd probably want to smack it. "Shut up Frisbee." I left the base through the large bay doors and headed for the school house across town. I had met with the school teacher, Cheerilee twice before. The first time was when she noticed Sparkplug was never in her class and asked me if I'd like to enroll him. I figured it would be a good way for him to learn about being a pony The second time as when I had to explain to him he can't just blurt out the answer when he gets it. I really hoped he wasn't in too much trouble. I Walked down the path from the main road and opened the door. Inside was my grey colt and the...I think that color is called 'fuchsia'...mare, also in the room was Filthy Rich and his daughter, Diamond Tiara. "Hello Captain." Cheerilee said. "Hi Dad." Sparkplug said, turning around on his chair. "So, Sparkplug said he might be in trouble?" I said. "You're right he is." "Always a pleasure, Mr. Rich." I replied sarcastically. C'mon, you know you want to shoot him. "Well, it seems that your 'son' and Diamond Tiara might have gotten into a bit of a fight." "Really?" I said, looking to the mech. He turned away as though guilty. I was about to ask who won. "Yes, and that little machine decided to electrocute my daughter." Filthy said. "I said it was an accident." Sparkplug said. "How do you 'accidently' hit somepony with a lighting bolt?" Filthy snapped, "That's called assault." Shoot him! "Mr. Rich, While Sparkplug may not be a real pony per se, he is still a part of this class." Cheerilee snapped, "You will not talk about him like that." "Why not? It's not like you can offend a machine." He replied, "And besides, it attacked my daughter. I'm not about to play nice with a weapon" "I'm not just a machine." Sparkplug said, "Dad said I'm special." "And you are." I assured him, running a hand over his mane, "Unlike Filthy, you do have emotion. That's what separates you from others." "That and the weapons he uses whenever he pleases." Filthy added. "Filthy, don't make me come over there." I said sharply. "See? Even he's out of control." "You did provoke him." Cheerilee said, "But please try to control yourself, Captain." I like this teacher. "How did I provoke him?" He said, "I just stated a fact." "No, you made an assumption." I said, "You assume he is able to control his defense system, when he can't." "Then why does he have it when he can't control it?" He replied, "You put all these children in danger, just so you could play with machines." I folded my arms over my chest. "Are you done whining like a little bitch yet?" "Captain: language!" The teacher snapped. "English." I replied, "Now, if your quite done, I'd like to see what happened." "And how do you plan to do that?" Filthy asked. "Simple, machines have a lot of benefits over biological creatures." I said, "One of them is an eidetic memory. the other is the ability to link to other machines." "Do you want me to play what I saw?" Sparkplug asked. I nodded. Linking to his system, I turned my projector on, creating an orange screen in the air. It was covered i static, but as Sparkplug neared the memory, it cleared up. "Here it is, just like I saw it." Author's Note I don't like filthy or his daughter. Did I make that clear enough? Red thoughts are those of the Chaotic side.
A New Spark: part two"How did you manage to get an 'A' on that test, Spark?" Scootaloo asked the mech. Recess had just started and the quartet of ponies was on their way to the playground. "Math really isn't that hard, Scootaloo." He replied, "You just can't hear the lessons over your snoring." Sweetie and Apple Bloom both snickered into their hooves. "Oh har har, very funny." he pegesus said, "You could stare at a rock for hours. I'm a pony of action." Scootaloo struck a very Rainbow Dash-esque pose. "And you show it by...falling asleep in class?" The group was almost to the playground when they met with another pair of fillies. One was pink with a pastel purple and white mane, and a tiny crown that matched her Cutie Mark. The other was a lighter color grey than Sparkplug was, but had a two-toned grey mane and light blue glasses. "Oh look, it's the blank flanks." The pink one sneered. Sparkplug looked to the pony next to him, Apple Bloom, for what to do. "Just ignore 'em." She whispered, "They'll go away eventually." "What's a blank flank anyway?" he asked, "They keep calling me that." "It's a pony that doesn't have a cutie mark yet." Scootaloo said, "They got theirs last year." The pair of ponies forced themselves into the way, blocking their path. "How can you be a pony and not know that?" Silver Spoon asked. "Because, he's not a pony." Diamond Tiara said, "He's one of those weird metal things." "I'm not THAT weird, am I?" The robot asked. "You might look like a pony, but you'll never be a real pony." she said "I already am a real pony." he replied proudly, "That's what Dad said. If he said I am, that's plenty good enough for me." "Hmph. Well MY daddy says the Captain is selfish and stupid." Diamond said, matter-of-factly. I paused the flashback and looked over to the stallion in question. "So I'm selfish and stupid now?" I said, glaring at Filthy Rich. "I never said that." he replied quickly. Can we shoot him NOW? Later, maybe. "Yes you did." Diamond interjected, "Right after you got home the last time you tried to buy his robots." "Don't worry about it." I said with a smile as I restarted the video, "I've called you WAY worse." The fillies looked to the colt to see what he would do. They had expected him to flip when she insulted the Captain, but Sparkplug just stood stock still, as though a statue. "What? No clever comeback?" Diamond hissed. "Ah told him to ignore you." Apple Bloom said, "That's what he's doin'." "See, you can't even think on your own." The pony said. Sparkplug held his ground. if it weren't for his eyes moving, he'd look like a piece of lawn art. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" Sparkplug's friends could see Diamond was getting furious, and they could see his eyes were changing color. He was feeling threatened by her, but he was suppose to ignore her. "Diamond, don't!" Scootaloo shouted. She watched as the bully reached out a hoof and tried to put it to his chest on an attempt to push him, But he quickly backed up, keeping her from shocking herself. "You really don't want to do that." he said, "You might get hurt." "Oh really?" she asked, "So now you're going to hurt me?" "If you keep trying to touch me, then yes." he warned her. Darn it, that sounded like a threat. He thought, I just want her to leave me and my friends alone. Diamond's resolve stayed strong. She reached out again, surprising the Equimech and managing to make contact. Just as her hoof touched the faux fur exterior, an arc of electricity shot up her leg, contracting her muscles and forcing her to jump back in pain. She shook her hoof to rid it of the stinging, then looked back at her sidekick. Silver Spoon was almost as shocked as Diamond, just staring at the metal pony. "Y-you'll be sorry for this." Diamond said as she and her crony retreated, "I'm telling Ms. Cheerilee." The memory dissolved into static as it ended. "I'm betting Diamond didn't say any of that." I said. Cheerilee looked over to the other pair. "No, she didn't." the teacher confirmed, "Sparkplug, is that really what happened?" "Yes Miss Cheerilee, that's exactly as I remember it." he said, "Straight from my memory banks." "And you did warn her what would happen?" She asked. "I tried to, but she wouldn't listen." Cheerilee's gaze softened. "I believe you, Sparkplug." she said, "You're a good student, and would never hurt somepony on purpose." This set Filthy off. "You're seriously going to believe a glorified kitchen appliance over an actual pony?" "You call him one more name, so help me..." "What are you going to do?" Filthy snapped, "Shoot me?" I reached down toward my holster. That is a fantastic idea. "I wasn't going to SAY that, but now that you suggest it." Sparkplug stuck out a hoof, stopping me. "Look, I'm sorry for what happened." Sparkplug said, "I didn't want to hurt you, Diamond, but I did warn you what would happen." "And that is why you're not in trouble." Cheerilee said, "Captain, You and Sparkplug can go." "How can you just let that thing go? It tried to hurt my daughter." "No, he tried to protect himself." Cheerilee said. "If you want something that can hurt you, I have a few Titans can accommodate you." I reminded him as I stood to my full height. It is so easy to be intimidating when you're twice someone's size. "Could we not tell the Titans about this?" Sparkplug asked, "Ti-86 got them in enough trouble." "I was just kidding, Sparky." I said as I opened the door, "Let's go." Outside, Sparkplug and I headed back toward home, ready to forget about this. "I'm proud of you, little guy." I said. "For hurting Diamond Tiara?" he asked. Yes, I'm quite proud of that. "No, you didn't give in to her harassment." I said, "And you did it without intimidating or force." "But I still hurt her." he said, "I didn't want to, but she wouldn't listen." "And that is why I'm proud of you." I said, "You did everything you could to protect her, even though she was mean to you." "So...I did the right thing?" he asked hopefully. Stop making things complicated I thought. "Yes, you did the right thing." I assured him, "But are you sure I shouldn't send a Titan to school with you tomorrow? All you have to do is ask." "Daaaaad." He groaned.
Chemical InfatuationA trio of fillies and a young colt walked down the street of Ponyville, pouring ever thought into a very pressing issue: getting their Cutie Marks in Matchmaking. "C'mon Crusaders, If we're gonna be matchmakers we have ta find two ponies ta match." Apple Bloom said. "How about Cheerilee and, I don't now, Big Mac?" Scootaloo offered. "We can't do that. If they fall in love, then who'll help me 'n Applejack on the farm?" Apple Bloom replied. "This would be a lot easier if we knew more stallions." Sweetie Belle said. "How about that really strong pony and Fluttershy?" Apple Bloom said. "You mean Snowflake?" Scootaloo asked, "Are you crazy?" "Well, who else is there?" Sweetie Belle asked. "We've already been through all the stallions in town." Apple Bloom said, then mumbled under her breath, "All six of 'em." "Not EVERY stallion." A tinny voice said. It belonged to Equestria's first and so far only mechanized pony. Built by Archangel to test whether he could build a pony-based frame, he has since become a friendly addition to Ponyville. "What other pony is there?" Scootaloo asked the mech. "Well, technically, my dad would be considered a stallion." He said, "I've heard some of the other ponies call him that." "Wait, the Captain? Where are we gonna find another human?" Scootaloo asked. "I never said I had a plan." He said, "I'm just saying..." "Hey look!" Scootaloo said getting the other's attention. The filly pointed her hoof at something across the street. "Is that the Captain?" Scootaloo asked, "And Twilight?" The other crusaders turned to see the human soldier and the unicorn librarian, both talking about something and laughing together. "Yeah?" Sparkplug confirmed , "Why?" "I think I have an idea." A look of shock washed over Sparkplug and he scrambled away from Scootaloo, hiding behind a nearby flower bush. "What's wrong with you?" The pegesus asked. Sparkplug peeked out from behind the bush. "It's dangerous when you think." He said with a smile. Scootaloo just rolled her eyes. "At least I have an idea, Metalhead." she shot back. Sparkplug trotted out from behind his makeshift barricade. "Well? Are ya gonna tell us what it is?" "Well, Sparkplug says the Captain counts as a stallion, right?" "Right.' The others replied. "And Twilight is a mare, right?" "Yes...wait...you're not saying..." Sparkplug started to ask. "Yes." Scootaloo said, "Why don't we try to match THEM together." "That has got to be..." Sparkplug stopped to think about this for a second, then his orange eyes lit up, "...the best idea I've heard all day." "C'mon then: To the Clubhouse!" The four friends thrust their hooves into the air, Musketeer style. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MATCHMAKERS! YAY!" A little later at Crusader HQ "Ok, so I know this is our plan, but does anypony have any idea how to pull this off?" Sparkplug asked. "Ooh I know!" Sweetie Belle squeaked, "Why don't we set up some kind of romantic dinner or something. Rarity always talks about that kind of thing when she thinks I can't hear her." "I don't think that'll work, Sweetie." Sparkplug said, "We're dealing with a tactical genius and a trotting encyclopedia. We need something neither of them would see coming." "The Captain can see through walls." Scootaloo said, "How do we beat something like that?" "Sparkplug, d'ya think there's anythin' in them fancy computers that could help us?" Sparkplug brought a hoof to his face with a metallic clank. "Why didn't I think of that?" he asked rhetorically. From behind his left ear a short silver stick poked itself out from his head, a small red light blinking intermittently. Sparkplugs eyes twitched as he interfaced with his home: what the other ponies called Angel's Rest. "Ok, I'm in." he said, "But what should I look for? There has to be terabytes of data in here." "Look for how ta make two ponies fall in love." Apple Bloom suggested. Sparkplug entered his search and quickly sifted through the data he had in front of his eyes. "How much can he possibly have in there?" the impatient Pegesus asked. "More than you'd think." The robot replied, "He's been transcribing books from Twilight's library so he can access them when he needs to. So far just a bunch of history books and...Oh. That looks good." "What? What is it?" the fillies asked. "It's a recipe." he said as he scanned the information, "It was used by a prince who wanted a princess to fall in love with him. I was what started Hearts and Hooves day in the first place." "So is it a love potion or somethin'?" Apple Bloom asked. "Exactly. And it looks pretty simple: a tuft of cloud, a bright rainbow's glow, stir with a pegesus feather." he read, "It looks like if we can get them both to drink it, they'll fall in love." "That's perfect!" Sweetie Belle squeaked again, "Let's do it." Sparkplug disconnected from the database and followed his friends. If only he'd read a little further. The Crusaders set to work collecting the parts to make their love potion: Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle set to work trying to find a rainbow to use, while Sparkplug and Scootaloo went to collect a cloud. Turns out you can collect Rainbow Color with a vacuum cleaner. The Cloud would be a bit of a challenge: Sparkplug was a unicorn (kinda) and Scootaloo can't fly. "I know where there's a few low clouds, but they're still way too high up." Scootaloo said as they headed for Angel's Rest. "Don't worry about that." Sparkplug assured her, "I have an idea." Once the pair arrived, Sparkplug left Scootaloo and headed inside the vehicle bay. He knew what he needed: a Titan. They were tall enough to lift him up to one of the heavier clouds that hung around the base. As he entered the large room, he saw the various vehicles and maintenance bots. He eventually found one he could talk to. "Hi Tau, have you seen Nautilus?" He asked the multi armed mech. A whistle and beeping, followed by pointing off deeper into the bay was his answer. Sparkplug thanked him and continued on soon finding the massive robot lifting a tire onto a vehicle. The robot turned when he heard the small pony approach. "Sparkplug." he said in a deep voice. Nautilus was the replacement for the Ti-86 that had broken free. Just as a precaution, he was never armed and had his armor downgraded heavily. Nautilus didn't mind, he understood the reason and preferred working in the motor pool. "Hi Nautilus. Um, can you help me with something?" Sparkplug asked. He knew full well none of the mechs could say 'no' to him: they all saw him as a little brother. "Of course." he replied. Sparkplug lead the way back outside with Nautilus following carefully. Once outside, Sparkplug told the mech what he needed. "I need to get a piece of that cloud for...a school project." He said, knowing he couldn't tell him what he ACTUALLY needed it for: Nautilus might tell his dad. "Only Pegasi can touch clouds." Nautilus reminded him. Sparkplug gestured to the orange filly behind him. "I know, that's why I need you to lift her up to get it." Nautilus either stared or glared at the filly for a few seconds before determining this could work. He lowered a hand to the ground, letting her hop on. The look of terror on the Pegesus' face was understandable: she remembered Fluttershy telling her to hide, then seeing one of these crash through town. "Don't be scared, Scootaloo." Sparkplug said as he tapped on the Titan's foot, "Nautilus would never hurt you, right Nautilus?" "Never." He replied. With Sparkplug's promise of safety, Scootaloo climbed onto the large robot's hand. Being over nine feet tall, Nautilus was plenty big enough to lift Scootaloo to the cloud in question. Extending his arm and his reversed-jointed legs to there limits, he carefully lifted the pony into the air, just within reach of the cloud. The orange pony looked up to see her prize inches away from her. Standing on her back legs, she reached out with her muzzle to grab the cloud in her teeth. She shook her head side-to-side to break the mass of water vapor off, but quickly threw herself off balance. She fell backwards with a yelp and slid down Nautilus' arm. The Titan was too big to move fast enough to catch her, but Sparkplug jumped into action. "Scootaloo!" he shouted as he ran under where she would land. The Pegesus bounced off the armored shoulder plate, her tiny wings buzzing to try to stop herself. Just when she expected to feel the ground, she instead felt cold metal under her. Did Nautilus catch me? She thought. She opened her eyes, which had been closed tightly when she fell, and saw the familiar steel colored eyes of the Captain. "Nice of you to drop in." He said with a smile. She froze when she saw him: She had to be careful not to let on to what she was doing. "Dad?" Sparkplug said in surprise, "When did you get here?" "I came back to get a book for Twilight on artificial intelligence." He replied as he let the pegesus jump back on the ground, "That's when I saw the three of you trying to catch a cloud." "Yeah, we needed it for Hearts and Hooves Day." Scootaloo said, trying not to let on she wasn't telling the whole truth. She didn't know Sparkplug had already given them a cover story. "Not a school project?" Nautilus asked before looking to the ponybot, "You said it was for school." Archangel could see something wasn't right here. "Sparky, what's going on?" he asked. Now he was in trouble: he couldn't say he was making a potion, and the school project cover was blown. Luckily, Scootaloo had it covered. "We needed it to make something for Miss Cheerilee." she said, "She's such a good teacher, we wanted to make something really special for her." "Yeah, that's what I meant." the ponybot said quickly, "I didn't want anyone to find out about it." The Captain and the Titan looked to each other as though trying to figure out what just happened. But eventually the soldier turned back. "Ok then, have fun." he said. The two ponies thanked him and quickly ran off to the Clubhouse. "That was WAY too close." Sparkplug said as they entered the treehouse. They were greeted by the other half of the group who already had their part of the potion ready in a pitcher. "What took ya'll so long?" Apple Bloom said as Scootaloo dropped the cloud into the concoction. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get cloud when you can't fly?" Sparkplug asked, "Oh that reminds me..." "Hey, what are you..?" Scootaloo was trying to ask. Before she could finish, Sparkplug's head had dropped to her left wing, where he grabbed a feather in his teeth and yanked it out. "OW!" the filly yelped, examining her tiny wing, "Why'd you do that?" "Stir with a pegesus feather." He reminded her. Giving the mixture a few stirs with the feather, Sparkplug completed the potion, evident by the pink heart-shaped puff of smoke that shot out of it. "OK, stage one is complete." Sparkplug said, "How do we get them to drink it?" "I know just the thing..." Sweetie Belle said. "I'm back Twi." I said as I returned to the library. I had to leave to get a book I had on Artificial Intelligence. We'd been hanging out today, since neither of us really like Hearts and Hooves day, and I had no massively important things to do. "Hey Jack, did you put this here?" The unicorn asked as the door swung shut. I looked to see what she was talking about: on the table in the library was a large bottle filled with a pink liquid, as well as a pair of small glasses. "I just got back, sorry it took so long, my technician needed me to look at something." I said, "You didn't see who did it?" I took the bottle and looked it over: it looked like a normal wine bottle, but it didn't have a label. I took the cork and pulled it out releasing a puff of pink smoke. "Smells kinda like wine." I said, "You don't keep alcohol here, do you?" "No, I really don't need Spike accidentally drinking something even a little flammable." she replied. "Well then, care for a drink?" I asked. She looked a little hesitant. "We have no idea where that came from, what if it's bad or something?" I held my hand open and tipped the bottle over, getting a drop to land in my palm. The semi-porous material let the liquid sink in, where my computers began to analyze it. A few seconds later, it came up safe. "Relax, there's nothing dangerous in it." I said, "It doesn't even look like it has that much alcohol in it." She still looked a little nervous. "Well..." she replied sheepishly, "if YOU say it's safe...I guess a little couldn't hurt." "That's the spirit." I said, as I grabbed the pair of glasses "Heh, 'spirit'." I poured about half a glass for each of us, before putting the bottle down and letting Twilight take hers with her magic. "To friends?" I said, offering my glass. "Friends." She replied with a smile, clinking her glass on mine. We both downed the pink liquid, which burned like moonshine the whole way down. I coughed as the contents hit my stomach, shaking my head to try to clear the taste of ethanol. "Jesus, who's liquor cabinet did this come from?" I asked with a cough, "It tastes like jet fuel." I looked to Twilight, mostly to see how she was adjusting to the powerful mix. What I saw was completely different. Twilight's eyes were only half-open, like she was really sleepy and she was staring right into my eyes, kind creepy. "Uh, you alright Twi?" I asked. She never looked away from me. Her smile softened. "I'm here with you." She replied in a tone I could only describe as amorous, "Everything's just perfect" That's when I started feeling weird. All my muscles and servos began to relax, and my cheeks started to heat up. I watched my HUD fade from view, leaving only the Unicorn in front of me. "You know, I never noticed how cute you are." I said with a calm smile, "And I always did like smart girls." What the fuck? Why in the hell did you just say that? I felt like when my chaotic side had forced itself into control and I felt bolts of pleasure run through me like sniper rounds. Why the hell was this happening? I mean, I like Twilight and all, but not like this. "You always know what to say." Twilight cooed with a blush. She slowly walked toward me as I tried to back up. I felt paralyzed as she approached me: my body wasn't even acting like it could hear my brain screaming at it to do something, anything, to get away. Twilight stood up on her back legs, supporting herself on my chest with the front ones. We were eye to eye, inches apart. I was losing my shit inside, but outside, I must have looked like I was enjoying this. "Alert: Emotional safeguards exceeded." A voice in my head said as my eyes blacked out, "Dumping data to emergency drive." Uh oh "Shutting down." Reinitializing ... ... ... Diagnostics Complete "Good to see you are still with us." A computerized voice said. I opened my eyes to see Guardian standing in front of me. "What the hell happened?" I asked as I rubbed my head. I looked around to see I was sitting on the couch in the Library, with Twilight curled up next to me, asleep. I very ungracefully scooted away from her, not wanting whatever had happened before to continue. "You need not be worried, Captain. Ms. Sparkle is sleeping off the tranquilizer I gave her." Guardian said. "You tranq'ed her?" I asked. "She would not allow me near you, so I had to." He replied, "It will cause no side effects. The potion on the other hand..." He produced the bottle from earlier. "Potion?" "Yes, analysis indicates it is designed to create a powerful aphrodesic effect." He explained, "It appears to work with the optic center of the brain. Whenever the drinkers see one another, a massive amount of dopamine is release, creating an addicting effect as well as perpetuating the toxin." "So it feeds itself." "Yes, however, if starved of dopamine for long enough, it will not have enough fuel to continue." "But how long does that take?" I asked, "And how shitty am i going to feel?" "My estimation predicts it takes one hour for the effects to dissipate. You will not suffer any withdrawal symptoms." "No withdrawal?" I asked, "That much stimulation must have a drawback." "You do not suffer from such reactions." He turned his gaze to Twilight, "Ms. Sparkle will not be so lucky." "Anything we can do?" I asked. Now that she wasn't creepily obsessed with me, I really did want to help her. "Water and food might help." he replied, "No real remedy for this exists." I nodded and headed for Twilight's kitchen. I returned a few minutes later with a tall glass of water. "I'm not messing with anything in there." I said, "It's all labeled and alphabetized." "Given who lives here, does that surprise you?" Guardian asked. I answered with a chuckle. I set the glass down on the table and just watched her sleep, waiting for her to wake up. That's when a thought entered my head. "Hey, G, how weird would it be if I DID fall in love with a pony?" I asked. "You just did." He replied. "No, I mean naturally." I clarified, "Like, legitimately." "Was there a mare you had in mind?" he asked "Are you going to answer me or keep being a smartass?" "You are worried whether it would be considered inappropriate?" He asked. I nodded. "I am unfamiliar with relationships." Guardian said, "But if both are able to make the decision to enter one, does species truly matter?" "You're the only one I know that can apply logic to love and have it work." Later The explosion of fireworks overhead filled the air as Firestorm and Ponyville's resident pyro-technician, Powder Keg, put on a show for Hearts and Hooves Day. I had to admit, from the tree I was sitting under, it looked awesome. Everything was heart shaped and red or pink: not my colors, but still... "Mind if I join you?" I looked to see it was Twilight. "I see you're feeling better." I said. "Thanks to you and Guardian." She solemnly replied. "Anything for a friend." I said. The pony sat down next to me. She seemed a little tense. "You sure you're ok?" "I just can't believe what happened." she said, "I mean, us falling in love?" "Am I not good enough for you?" I asked. She started to turn red. "No! I mean...I just..." She stuttered. "I'm just kidding, Twi." I chuckled. She just scowled an punched me in the shoulder. "You're mean." she said playfully. "I never said I was nice." I reminded her, "That was you girls." We sat in silence for a few seconds, before she asked another question. "So, do you really think I'm cute?" Twilight asked. I turned to look at her, really hoping she didn't just ask that. "Do I have to answer that?" I asked. The unicorn turned to me, a devious smile set on her muzzle. "No, it's just fun to see you turn that red." she replied, giggling at my discomfort. "Just watch the damn fireworks." Author's Note Sorry, I'll have a chapter about Sparkplug in here eventually. I wanted this to be kind of a Valentine's Day chapter. A really long chapter.
