Why so Friendly?

by MrPengu1n

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Crossover
Length: 550

Discord is cooking up a new plan to tear apart the Elements of Harmony, and he's calling in the help of someone who can appreciate a little chaos.

Discord is hatching a new plan to break apart the Elements of Harmony, and he's calling in the help of someone from another world, someone who can appreciate a little chaos: the Joker.

There is no cover art because google images sucks.
Set for Teen because, come on, it's the Joker.
Set for Dark because it's from the villains' perspective.
>implying Discord is not reformed.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-29 22:34:17 UTC

Chapter 1

Discord sat across from the Joker at a dimly lit table in an abandoned dock warehouse, sipping a glass of chocolate milk. The Joker leaned back with his hands folded over his mouth thoughtfully, eyes looking the crazy mish-mash of animal parts in front of him up and down.

Discord gave the Joker a snaggletoothed grin and threw his solid block of chocolate milk-having drank only the glass-over his shoulder, which promptly exploded.

The Joker's eyes turned to watch the fiery cloud in the corner subside, and then looked back at Discord.

"We're not so different, you and I," Discord finally said, holding his lion paw and griffon claw apart invitingly, "We both can appreciate a little chaos...we both have nemesis's,"

The Joker finally moved his hand from his chin to his forehead, "From what you've told me, Discord, you're 'nemesis'" he used his fingers to make air quotes over that word, "Is a bunch of brightly colored, magical, talking ponies," the Joker smirked, "Even for a storybook villain like you, that hardly seems like a threat."

"Storybook villain?" Discord repeated indignantly. He pointed a claw menacingly across the table, "And those ponies are a tricky bunch-the yellow one took down a bear singlehanded!"

"How menacing," the Joker replied, his voice dripping in sarcasm.

Discord's brow furrowed, "And how successful have you been in fighting a guy traipsing about in black tights?"

The Joker hesitated, "We're not talking about me right now."

Discord smirked, but he continued, "Look, the bottom line is, I've got a new plan. It's sure to work-I'm going to tear those ponies apart like tissue-but I need your help."

"That's exactly my point," the Joker said, sitting up straight, "why would I help," he gestured to Discord's body, "you, fight a bunch of colorful ponies?"

This is what Discord had been waiting for; smiling, he leaned back and said, "Because I can offer you this," he snapped his fingers, and immediately, an arsenal of weaponry blinked into existence, summoned by Discord's magic. As the Joker marveled at the weapons' suddenness in appearance, Discord continued, "Anything you need, to do anything you want. Do we have a deal?"

The Joker looked left to right, then at Discord and nodded, holding out his gloved hand.

Discord smiled, took the Joker's hand, and shook it. "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship," he observed.

"Don't push your luck," the Joker advised, slipping his hand out of Discord's lion paw.

Discord nodded, retracting his hands. He cleared his throat, "Now then," he snapped his fingers again, and a portal to Equestria popped into existence next to the table, "Shall we?"

The Joker looked at the Technicolor portal next to him and held up one finger, "If I go through that portal a human, and come out on the other side a pony," he traced the finger across his neck, then pointed at Discord.

"Of course," Discord said with a smirk, "I'm sure you will retain all of your humanness."

The Joker nodded, sighed, and got up, walking over to the portal, stopping right in front of it. Discord got up and stood next to him.

"Prepare to see a world unlike anything you've seen before," Discord promised, and the two stepped through the portal.