Chapter 1

...The best way to describe the position of "Captain of the Guard" is perhaps as a largely ceremonial position; for while it is true that they hold all the authority of a General, but this is limited to the capital city they are stationed in. For matters pertaining to the country as a whole, or to the Aerial or Naval troops, they are little more than highly-decorated Majors. Even then, their authority is somewhat limited; their main duties are protecting the Princess, and defense of the capital and surrounding towns.

Nevertheless, it is a prestigious position, and they are great players in politics, however little many of them wish not to be so. In the past, it has been used both as a reward and as a punishment, depending on the circumstances thereof. The fact that all Captains remain as such, even posthumously, can also be seen as a continuation of this. Even so, it is not unheard of for enterprising Captains [of the Guard] to take on other roles, such as Drill Sergeant, Gunnery Captain, Shield-wielder, Lord Protector...

-Captain Paper Trail, On the Captain of the Guard

“...And so, a week now since our good friend, Captain Windswept Bamboo, passed in the ever-noble line of duty, the Parliament and I have come to an agreement and determined his replacement. As such, we nominate First Lieutenant Shining Armour. Do you accept, First Lieutenant?”

“I do, High Princess Celestia. Thank you.” She placed the embossed breastplate of command around his chest, allowing him to stand up for a minute to adjust it comfortably, before he ducked back into a bow.

”Excellent. Now, the position comes with an honorary sword, a sabre of the highest quality. This blade has been hoof-forged by my own sister Luna, as part of her reparations for her actions. Your sword, First Lieutenant.” Celestia’s golden aura brought the sword in question, hilt-first, to Shining Armour, who took it in his own. As Princess Celestia continued the ceremony, he began to swap out his trusty broadsword for this new sabre, the smaller sword sitting loosely in the sheath.

“Than by the power invested in me by my mother and my father, and all of theirs all the way back to the first Alicorn, Faust, the creator, I bestow upon you the title of Captain of the Guard, and the full responsibility of Canterlot and the Royal Family's protection, myself included, effective immediately. You may rise, Captain Armour.” He did so, and Celestia smiled before speaking into the microphone again.

“Now that the official ceremonies have been completed, I understand that a ...personal friend of Captain Shining Armor, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, has reserved the main ballroom specifically for a celebration of his new position. So, eat, drink, and be merry!” With that, she stepped away from the microphone, waiting for the crowds in the room to funnel out. Shining himself stepped down from the stage, now wearing his new sword as well as his red officer’s uniform, the new breastplate heavy on his chest. However, he was left carrying his old broadsword in an aura of magic alongside him.

He made a beeline for a messy crop of blue mane, having seen it from the stage and being well-aware the owner would wait for him. He politely pushed past a pair of privates, and almost ran headlong into Flash Sentry. “Hey, Flash.”

The Pony in question jumped, as he’d been staring into space in the direction of the stage when Shining got his attention. “Hey yourself, Shining! Or is it ‘Captain Armour’ now?”

Shining chuckled, waving towards his uniform. “Same as when I got promoted all the other times, Flash. Doesn’t matter what rank I am, my friends can call me whatever they like. Whether that’s ‘Shining’, ‘Captain Armour’, or ‘Admiral’ for all I care.”

Flash chuckled, fidgeting with the buttons of his own armored black peacoat. “Alright, mister epic speech, how’s about we get to that party, eh? From what I heard, Princess Cadance went all out on it, and set you up for this promotion… She sweet on you?”

They had begun moving as they talked, and were slowly moving with the herd out of the auditorium, at least until Shining stumbled slightly in response. “Cadance? Eh… Knew her in High School, even kinda had a relationship with her, until… well… Anyway, she’s been trying to get us back together for a while now.”

“And what about you, you still interested in her?”

“Nnnnot really. I’ve kinda moved on since then.”

“Is it ‘cause you bat for the other team now?” That stopped Shining’s hooves just as much as his brain as it utterly failed to comprehend the statement.

“What.” Flash nearly collapsed laughing as Shining’s brain rebooted. “I...I don’t… what!?”

“Hah! Oh, you shoulda seen your face… I’m kidding, relax. We’ve known each other from boot, you’d think I wouldn’t have picked up on that? I mean, you didn’t tell me about Cadance ‘til now, but I betcha had a good reason. Can’t believe you’re still not used to my jokes after, like, ten years.”

Shining shrugged. This was made slightly more dangerous by the broadsword bobbing alongside him in his aura, which nearly took some poor Guard’s horn off. “It’s just… unique, I guess. I’m kinda used to it, but I’m kinda not? I mean, I know you’re not that bad a guy, but people just see this whole ‘surfer dude’ personality you have. On the other hoof, you do manage to keep one-upping yourself…”

“Yeah, speaking of unique stuff, you want me to carry that? The way you got it now, you’re a right terror.” Shining turned to check on the sword, which was both lacking a sheath and bobbing along dangerously at head height. Fleetfoot just barely managed to jump out of the way as the sword moved with Shining’s head.

Shining cringed as Fleetfoot shot him a glare. “Yeah, that’d… that’d probably be a good idea.” Shining motioned him to move to the side of the corridor with his hoof, and the crowd did its best to give them some room. Flash’s coat was standard issue for an Overseer, with all of its pockets. Most of them were empty, and his mask was clipped to his side. His own sword was sitting in a scabbard on his other side, leaving the straps on his back (meant for holding a backpack full of gear) open to hold the broadsword.

As soon as Shining released is magical grip and Flash took the full weight, he sagged visibly. “You alright?” Shining asked, concerned.

Flash gave a pained grin, his legs steadying as he straightened back up. “I’m good… yeah. Hollow bones don’t mean shit, I’m tough.”

Shining stood back, ready to leap forward and help at the drop of a hat… Or rather, the drop of a Pegasus. “If you’re sure… onward?” At Flash’s nod, they began moving forward again, quickly entering the ballroom, which they had been but scant metres from. Shining entered first, with Flash a little bit behind, and looked around.

It was far from his first time seeing the room, but it was the first time he’d seen it almost to full capacity. The ballroom was at the size of a professional Hoofball field, and built out of solid marble. Gigantic pillars every twenty metres kept the massively heavy arched roof from collapsing inward and at a height better suited for Wonderbolts maneuvers, and stained-glass windows allowed the light of the setting sun through in a multitude of colours, framed by the mosaics within.

Cadance had loved looking at those, and Twily had been all too eager to please her by looking up and memorizing the story behind every single one. For a little while, Twily had been telling Cadance bedtime stories, stories like the tale of Equestria’s creation by the Alicorn, Faust, or as the window was called, “The Creator”.

He looked left, and saw Cadance’s favorite, the window that represented Epona, “The Stormbringer”. She and her squire, Link, had been some of the greatest adventurers the world had ever known, even turning back time itself to save it from the creatures of the Void.

And of course, one of the saddest mosaics of the lot. “The Cleansing of the Alicorns”. Many a time, Celestia had been asked whether or not she’d rather have it replaced with a somewhat more cheerful window, and every time, she refused. Even Twily had once asked her why she wanted a representation of genocide to remain displayed, and Celestia had supposedly answered, “To show that some of the worst of evils could come from the best of intentions.” whatever that meant.

Shining shook his head, and turned away from the windows to- “Gah!” he yelped, leaping backwards in surprise as he found his muzzle a mere centimetre away from Cadance’s. She grinned, and lifted him back to his feet.

“Darn. And I almost got a kiss out of you!” She looked around him at Flash. “Is he alright?”

Shining followed her gaze to where Flash was still almost imperceptibly struggling with the weight of the sword. The armored stallion gave a stupid grin, and nodded. Shining turned back to Cadance, deepening his voice just like his old D&D days. “Of course! My squire would gladly carry any weight for me, for he has pledged his undying allegiance! My mighty blade Hackmaster is but a pittance in comparison!”

Cadance smiled seductively, and brushed her tail up against him. “Well, if you say so. But if he ever gets tired, I’d eagerly take such a strong, hard, long… male… sword…” Behind her, Flash blinked, then sniffed the air. He turned, his eyes widening as he saw Cadance. In a second, all of Shining’s previous bravado had evaporated, and his white fur nearly turned the same shade of pink as Cadance’s.

She took a heavy breath, and leaned toward his ear. “Oh, dear… Seems I’ve made a bit of a mess. Lucky us, there’s a broom closet down the hall. Meet me there, and we can clean it up… or get even dirtier… together.” She pulled back. “Of course, if you keep me waiting too long, I might just have to... clean myself up. With my tongue. And I might just be so distracted, I could forget to shut the door…” She trailed off, turning away and trotting back to the door with just the slightest tremor in her knees. Shining’s brain had stopped working. Again. Which was why he had still been looking at Cadance when she winked.

Without using her eyes.

She disappeared into the crowd, and Shining managed to snap back to the present, where Flash was still staring at the door like an idiot. He snapped out of it as well, and turned to Shining after crossing his hind legs. “Holy moly… Dude. Shining. Dude. She wants you. Bad. Like, bad enough to tell you she wants you in a crowd of friggin’ ponies.”

Shining composed himself, and set his jaw. “Yeah, well, I don’t want her. I don’t stick my dick in crazy. And there’s a whole lot more crazy than Cadance than I’d like in there right now. Just wish she could get the damned hint.”

Flash frowned. “You were kinda leading her on… Still, jeez. If you’ve been denying her this long… You are way stronger than I could ever be. I woulda given in long ago.” He turned towards the refreshments table, a fair distance away, and took a step only to recoil. He looked at his hoof and grimaced, before wiping it off on his fur. “Eugh. Somepony should put down a ‘wet floor’ sign…” He resumed his path, carefully avoiding the puddle. Shining shot a glare towards the door, before turning and following Flash. He had a sudden and overbearing need to get drunk.

On the way there, he paused before turning around. He could’ve sworn he saw… he did. He’d passed a Batpony, who was wearing an eyepatch and silently chewing on a glowing whitish-blue flower. Said Batpony paused as he saw Shining, before swallowing and walking closer. Shining regarded him carefully, curious as to what the Batpony wanted. He was fairly sure he’d seen him hanging about with Princess Luna at least once, but that was all he knew of him and the other one.

Bafflingly, the Guard simply approached, silently shook his hoof, and gave him a respectful nod before ducking back into the crowd. Flash nudged him forward again, and Shining merely blinked. “What was that about?”

Flash glanced back, but the Batpony had completely disappeared. “That was… I think either Sunshine or Meadowlark. I forget which is which. We had to check them for heresy when Luna brought them in, but they were clean, surprisingly. They're real, though, so we're keeping an eye on them just in case.”

Shining shrugged. “Alright. I don’t know whether I have jurisdiction over them or not, but that one seemed alright. Are they both silent?”

“The other one never shuts up.”

“Fantastic.” They finally made it to the massive refreshments table, which Shining searched, out of curiosity, for the blue flowers the Batpony had been eating. There was a distinct lack of both them and empty plates, which meant that the Batpony had brought them here to eat. Shining briefly entertained the idea of going back and finding him, as those flowers looked like they’d taste interesting, but he discarded the idea in favour of punch.

“Would ye like some whiskey with that, chap?” As soon as the voice began whispering in his ear, he jerked, an ancient biological defence mechanism overriding all of his training and scattering the toothpicks he had been picking up onto the carpet. After he quickly snagged them all with his magic and slipped them into a pocket, he relaxed, turning to see his old drill sergeant. He smiled as he recognized him.

“Staff Sergeant Barns! I almost didn’t recognize your voice, considering you weren’t screaming obscenities at me.”

Barns guffawed, clapping his hoof on his back and lifting a flask in his own rose-red magic (Or blood-coloured, if you pestered him about it.) Behind him, Flash raised a hoof. “Oh! I’d like some whiskey!” Barns turned, sized him up, and narrowed his eyes. His muzzle wrinkled, even more than it already was. “Th’ offer was only fer th’ new Captain. Ye’d have ta trade me something, bucko.”

As Flash considered this, Shining made a rather unpleasant discovery, thankfully before he actually drank any of the punch. He rolled his eyes and turned back to the negotiating pair of Sergeants, muttering, “She tries so hard, and then forgets some really important details…” He cleared his throat, to catch their attention. “Sergeant Barns?” Barns turned, eyebrow raised. “I know it’s hardly a fair trade, but will you trade me for this cup of punch? It’s got pineapples in, and I’d hate to see it go to waste.”

Barns smirked. “Ye got somethin’ against pineapple, sir?”

Shining returned the smirk. “Nope. Deathly allergic. Trade?” Barns glanced at the cup of punch suspiciously before nodding, and passing the flask to him.

“Don’t guzzle it; that’s straight from the Bottle Street Distillery. Strong shit. And I’d like the flask back before the end of the night.” Shining chuckled, passing him the cup of punch in return, and taking the flask in his own pink aura. Flash blinked, apparently having expected it to go straight to him. Shining decided to have a bit of fun, and uncorked the flask, drinking down a quarter of the whiskey in one gulp.

The look on Flash’s face was worth the burn all the way down.

Behind him, Barns sipped his punch, his muzzle screwing up. “Huh. That tastes… off. Maybe somepony already spiked it.”

Flash gaped, as it was his turn not to comprehend what was going on. “Dude!” The look on his face, somehow even more flabbergasted than before, now far and away made up for all of Flash’s jokes and jabs over the years. Even the most recent one. He would remember this moment, likely all the way to his deathbed, where he would still think about it and chuckle to himself.

Then Flash smirked. “Yeah, you love guzzling the Sarge’s whiskey, don’t you Shining?”

The last of the whiskey caught in his throat, and Shining fell into a coughing fit. About six seconds later, after he finished trying to eject his lungs from his face, he looked back up at Flash. At some point his own magic had cut out and Flash had grabbed the flask, likely before it even hit the floor. He hadn’t planned for the possibility that Shining might have screwed the cap back on, hilariously, and was now trying to unscrew it with his teeth. “That was a low blow.”

“Sh’t ‘p! St’pid c’p!” Barns had lost his shit by this point, guffawing hard enough that his drink wavered. “Ye can’t outsmart a smartass, boy- er, Captain.”

Shining was about to respond with some witty comeback (Which, admittedly, he hadn’t come up with yet. In about an half an hour, he’d come up with the perfect comeback, and curse as he’d be otherwise preoccupied. He would then forget to write it down, and curse again the next morning when he woke up and couldn’t recall it.) when he saw a flash of familiar purple hair not too far away. “Hold that thought. If I’m not back in a bit, say hi to Sunset for me.” Flash gave him a thumbs-up motion with his primaries, and Shining turned away before starting to duck and dodge through the crowd.

He nearly lost sight of her a few times, but each time a quick use of magically-enhanced vision got him back on track. Within moments, he was practically right next to- “Twiley!”

The sister in question’s head snapped to follow the shout, and the muzzle brimmed with joy at the sight of him. “Shiny!” She leapt forward, and they met in a loving hug. Shining had missed her, considering the last time he’d seen her was about… six months ago? He’d seen her before then, of course, but she hadn’t recognized him under his enchanted armor.

Twiley peeked out over his shoulder, and caught sight of his newly-enhanced uniform. “Oh, wow. Stand back for a sec, lemme get a good look at you, BBBFF.” They separated from each other, and Shining puffed his chest out proudly a few steps away, settling into parade rest.

“What do you think, Sis?”

Twiley giggled, nuzzling him. “You’re amazing. You always have been. The only thing that’s different is that now everypony else thinks so too.” Shining chuckled and relaxed, then motioned to a nearby table. She nodded, and they both sat down, Shining setting up a small shield around the table for privacy. It wouldn’t be completely soundproof, but it did reduce the conversations around them to a dull murmur.

“So, Shiny, I’m actually here for another reason, besides seeing my BBBFF get promoted. Apparently, now that we have a Captain of the Guard again, I’m supposed to be debriefed about that whole ‘Nightmare Moon’ thing.”

“Day of the Night.”

“What?”

Shining waved his hoof non-committedly. “Apparently that’s what everypony’s calling it now.”

Twiley stared at him. “That’s a stupid name. It’s an oxymoron, for one thing, and inaccurate. Technically the night lasted about one week, or… seven twenty-four hour periods. I haven’t checked, and I was too busy to check myself when we got back. Then you start arguing about whether you count the fact that the night ended when it was supposed to have been night in the first place, or whether we should recalibrate all the clocks because Celestia was the one to fix the orbit… Point is, it’s a stupid name.”

Shining chuckled. “Well, I’ll side with you. You’ve probably got a much better idea about the Astrology side of things. All I know is, I didn’t pick it. Anything else?”

Twiley nodded, and smiled. “I’m also supposed to ask you if your schedule is clear for tomorrow, around six-ish.”

Shining grimaced. “Lemme guess. Cadance wants to set up a date?”

Twiley shook her head. “Nah. Mom and Dad want us to come home for a night for dinner, and so we can have a little reunion. Apparently they’re really proud of both of us, and they want us all to play catch-up. They did invite Cadance, though.” As she finished speaking, she saw something behind him, and frowned.

Shining smirked. “Heh. Are Aunt and Uncle-” He was interrupted by a Pony tapping a hoof on his shoulder. He turned to see just about his least favorite Pony on the Palace staff; the eternally stuck-up “Prince” Amadeus Blueblood, as long as the ‘stuck-up’ bit referred to the stick up his plot. Still, he was obligated to the shmuck, and lowered the shield.

“Auntie has requested your presence, Captain.” Shining nodded,turning back to Twilight. “Sorry, Twiley. Seems I have to cut this short. Tell Mom and Dad I said yes. Seeya tomorrow, BSBFF.”

“Likewise, BBBFF. Say hi to Princess Celestia for me, alright?” Shining gave her a wave before standing up and following Blueblood out. They weren’t far from the door, and as soon as the doors shut behind them, all the noise from the Ballroom disappeared. The sudden silence prevailed, and was unsettling to Shining. Even in his short time in there, he’d gotten used to the constant dull roar of the conversation.

“So, Captain…” In an instant, he found himself missing the silence instead. “I’m curious: will you keep Captain Bamboo’s policies?”

Shining mentally paused, but physically kept walking. “I… suppose? I guess it really depends on the policies themselves. I’ll have to evaluate them on a case-by-case basis. You’ll have to ask me later, unless there’s one you had some stake in…?” He trailed off, waiting for a response.

Blueblood diplomatically ‘hmmm’ed before he continued speaking. “No, not particularly. The old boy and I… well, we just never really saw eye-to-eye. In any case, It’s good to know that the job has been taken by somepony of proper breeding, if you know what I mean.” Shining felt his face curl into a snarl, but Blueblood interrupted him again. “Ah, here we are, Auntie’s quarters. Now, she said she would be busy when I returned, and that you were to wait outside until requested. Please, take a seat, our current guest should not be long.”

At that, he turned and opened the door to Princess Celestia’s quarters. With the magical seal soundproofing the door broken, Shining could clearly overhear the conversation going on inside as Blueblood entered. On a whim, Shining put a magical aura around his side of the door handle, slowing the closing motion to a crawl while he listened.

“-so obsessed with him? I mean, for Faust’s sake, Blueblood found you presenting yourself in a broom closet- ah, speak of a demon, and it shall appear. Chamomile, Nephew.” The door, even slowed, was nearly closed by then. Thinking fast, Shining slipped out one of the toothpicks he had grabbed from the buffet table and slipped it into the doorframe, barely keeping the door open and the soundproofing spell deactivated.

“Now, as I was saying, you seem unusually obsessed with our mutual friend, the Lieu… pardon, Captain, to the point where you basically used all of your influence to get him promoted.”

“You have no-” Cadance’s voice started, before Celestia interrupted gently, but with a firmness in her voice that did not broker more interruption.

“You left a paper trail a mile wide. Cadenza, my most melodious student, I can never apologize enough for the accident. In return, I gave you a Princesshood, but this is a flagrant abuse of power. I cannot have that. Consider this your warning, my student. Drop this obsession, or both the Parliament and I shall be forced to rescind that power.”

“Is that a threat, Celestia?”

There was a pause. Then, a sigh that only a creature several millennia old could produce. “I do not enjoy making threats. I never have. And yet, sometimes it is necessary to maintain balance. Might I remind you that were the matter solely up to the Parliament, you would already have been stripped of your power. I was only able to talk them down today because Shining Armour was already under consideration for the position, and I was able to promise them that you would not do it again. I once wielded the Element of Honesty, Cadenza. Do not make me out to be a liar.”

There was a sharp intake of breath. “I can see where you’re coming from. Trust me on this, please. Just… trust me. I need Shiny. I wish I could explain why, but you’d think me mad.”

“You are hardly proving yourself to be stable now, Cadenza.”

“I know. Just trust me. I shall not abuse my position again; I swear upon Epona’s spirit.”

Princess Celestia sighed again. “That will have to do, I suppose. Now, I believe we have kept the stallion waiting long enough, if Blueblood’s arrival is any indication. You may go, Cadenza.”

“Wait, is Shiny right out-”

“You may go, Cadenza.” All of the motherly softness was gone; The Princess was giving an order, and woe betide those that did not follow it. Tentatively, Shiny slid the toothpick out of the door, letting it close completely with the gentlest of clicks. He moved to a cushioned chair a short distance away fairly quickly, and did his best to look bored. He’d had plenty of training as a Guard. Not a minute had passed before the door opened, and Cadance trotted out, shooting the room a glare before looking around. When she noticed him, her expression changed back to that seductive smile he had come to hate the past few months.

“Hey, Shiny. After you’re done here, you wanna go back to that broom-”

“My most melodious student, art thou not required elsewhere? Perhaps that lab I assigned you to? If not, I am sure I could still very well assign you homework…”

Cadance’s face fell once more. “Dammit. She’s right. See you around, Loverboy.” She walked past him, her trichromatic tail swishing over his muzzle as she passed. Shining blushed as he remembered just what she had been doing earlier, and what the tail still smelled heavily of. He began trying to scrape his muzzle off his face, as it was the only way it could ever be clean again.

“Captain Armour, you may enter.” Shining paused, before deciding there would be plenty of time to remove part of his face later. He entered her quarters, and looked around. He had never actually seen Princess Celestia’s quarters, and eagerly took in the sights of a near-immortal goddesses’ bedroom. Curiously enough, they seemed to straddle the line between spartan and extravagant, with some areas covered in various, expensive-looking clutter, some meticulously organized, and others left completely bare.

A large, imposing bed dominated the left side of the room, with the silk sheets stretching from side to side like a sunlit yellow ocean. A pillow larger than a Stallion’s barrel sat at the head of the bed, stuffed with the finest goose down. The headboard was flush with the wall, and a large, closed chest sat at the foot of the bed. To the beds’ immediate right was a dresser, with a mirror. A bookcase was on the beds’ left, stretching for the rest of the North wall and taking up a fair bit of the West as well.

Across from the door, on the East wall, was another much larger, meticulously detailed glass-and-metal door leading onto a balcony, from which Princess Celestia set the Sun on it’s journey across the sky. However, said balcony was currently in shadow, the day being nearly finished, and the balcony doors open so Celestia would have a perfect view of the rising Moon. With the doors open, the flickering light from the fireplace reflected off of the metal designs, giving the brass renditions of the Princess’ cutie mark a shimmer that outshone the real ones.

The South wall was where the fireplace was set into the wall, with a heavily-decorated mantel showcasing seemingly dozens of pictures and clay jars, all the way from tiny foals’ drawings to faded black-and-white photographs, with just the barest hints of colour to tell all the different ponies apart. Above the mantel was a painted portrait of Starswirl the Bearded, his blue robes and white beard both immaculate. Another series of shelves were placed to the right, clearly split into two sections; one for containing and organizing seemingly hundreds of wax cylinders, and the other for nearly a bookstore’s worth of assorted letters, pictures, and other significant pieces of paper. In the corner between the East and the South walls, by a window, was a writing desk, a quill and ink at the ready. Notably, the desk’s “in” box was empty, with the “out” box nearly overflowing.

On the same wall as the door he had just entered, the West, was a trophy shelf nearly overflowing with various knick-knacks and gifts from the other nations of Arcadia, and by extension, their Ambassadors and dignitaries. Such as, at a single glance, such things as an extremely vintage bottle of Stalliongrad Vodka, a set of Skyreland focusing stones, and even a Neighpalese Khukuri.

The red carpet of the room was velvet, and thoroughly unstained by any substance, with the only interruption in its level perfection being where the furniture had flattened it out after nearly a millennia of simple existence. Around it, the walls of the room were the same shade of pleasant yellow as the bedspread. In between said bedspread and the bookshelves was a low table of Neighponese design, called a Kotatsu, at which Princess Celestia sat. In the center was a heater, with a small kettle of water coming to a boil.

“Ah, Captain, Please, sit. I wish to discuss something with you. I hope I did not pull you from the party too soon?”

Shining sat across from her, laying on his stomach the same way she was, with her hind legs curled beneath her and her forelegs crossed in front. “It’s alright. Mostly a formality, really. I already know how my Guards are doing, and the politicians just want to get on my good side.”

Princess Celestia nodded. “Too true, too true. Tea, Captain?” She was already pouring some of the hot water into the teapot, which seemed to to be made of some sort of purple clay, and waited for his response.

“Sure, I guess…?” Celestia nodded, placing the teapot back onto the tray, with two small, cylindrical teacups made of the same purple clay.

“Chamomile,” She explained. “A sort of herbal tea. Just what I need for my headache, as soon as Blueblood returns with the infusion.” She paused. “Come to think of it, are you not allergic to pineapples?”

“I am. Why?”

“Mm. It is possible you may be allergic to the tea.”

Shining paused, chewing his lip. Finally, he sighed. “I’ll risk it. Just, you know… If I start swelling up, call a medic quickly.”

“Of course. Ah, Blueblood, excellent timing, as always.” The pony in question began the process of making the tea, while Shining watched.

“You know, I’ve never actually had tea before. I’m a bit nervous.”

“Do not fret, Captain. If I remember correctly, Twilight was just as nervous with her first cup. Tell me, how is she settling into Ponyville?”

Shining mulled it over as Blueblood set the cups back in front of them with his golden aura. His job done, he left the room, carefully shutting the door this time. “Well, she didn’t actually tell me, but I’m sure if anything came up she would’ve said something. I’m trying not to worry about it.”

“Indeed. It is not unlike a mother bird making their chick fly, and seeing them leave the nest. You always wonder if their wings shall be strong enough. Still… I shall ask, in my next letter, I believe. I fret over her sometimes.” Celestia sat up a little bit straighter, so she could comfortably pick up and drink her tea.

Shining nodded, eying the green cup suspiciously. “I know what you mean. She’s probably the smartest pony I’ve ever known.” His eyes widened, and he looked back at Princess Celestia, realizing what he had just said. “Uh, not including yourself, your majesty.”

Princess Celestia smirked, taking a small sip of her tea, which she held in her hoof. “Nonsense. Give her a few years.” She followed his gaze back down to his cup. “Come now, Captain. It will not bite you, should you pick it up.”

Shining jerked, not realizing how transparent he was being. “Right, right. Just… not sure how to pick it up.”

Princess Celestia smirked. “Worry not, Captain. Follow my lead.” She set her cup back down on the table, paused, then began to pick it up. She began by using only the tiniest bit of magic to lift it into her hoof, where she slotted the perfectly-sized cup into the walls of her hoof like a living cupholder. She used her other hoof to steady the cup, ensuring it never tilted far enough to fall out of her hoof, and took a sip. Shining tried to follow her lead, but the matching cup he had been given was sized for another Alicorn, so he was left simply balancing said cup on top of his hoof’s walls and using a ring of magic to steady it instead.

Now confident it was stable, he took a sip.

Hm. It tasted… Hm.

It didn’t really taste like anything he’d ever tasted before. It was… somewhat like coffee, which he’d drunk plenty of, but the comparison of the two was like comparing cats and bears: They were technically related, but completely different otherwise. He’d grazed as well; most ponies had, at some point, tried it out when they were feeling hungry. And it was a bit like that, in that it tasted faintly grass-ey. But once again, he was comparing cats and bears. It was very sweet, but also very smooth, yet not quite oily.

It was a thoroughly unique flavour, he decided. And that flavour was “tea”, specifically chamomile. He also decided, in that moment and the others following it in which he did not have an allergic reaction, that he liked it.

Both he and Princess Celestia took another sip, before he set his back down on the table. Princess Celestia chose simply to hold her own cup to her breast, nearly cuddling it like a foal. “So, a winner, Captain?”

Shining nodded. “I suppose so.” He paused, then facehoofed.

“Captain?”

“Think nothing of it, Ma’am. Just thought of the perfect comeback to one of Flash’s jokes. Is the tea helping your head any?”

Celestia’s eyes flicked to the cup, and the corners of her mouth tilted downward. “No. Pity.”

Shining smiled. “Well, maybe it’s more of a kind of thing you need to talk out with somepony else?”

The Princess nodded. “‘Tis quite possible. I nearly forgot your family has always been such good listeners. In any case, I believe we have a mutual problem.” She paused, and Shining finished the thought for her. “Cadance.”

She nodded, taking another sip of her tea. “Indeed. How much did you hear earlier?”

Shining had been taking a sip of his own tea when she asked, and the question caught him off guard. “-koff- I didn’t- hack-”

Princess Celestia’s gaze hardened. “Captain, I have worked, slept, and lived in this room for nary a millenium. I am aware when my door does not close properly. How much?”

Shining cleared his throat, and sighed, defeated. “Somewhere around Cadance having pulled strings to get me promoted.”

The Princess seemed to be gauging his reaction. “Just as I expected. And tell me, Shining Armor, does her doing so distress you?”

“Yes. No. Wait, wait, sorry, I…” He paused, taking a deep breath. Just like Cadance taught him and Twilight. “I’ve been in the guard a while. I know there’s plenty more in the guard more experienced than I, who have been around longer. I don’t have a problem with the position itself, merely with the fact that she did it to try and get underneath my nethers, if you’ll pardon the vulgarity. It makes it feel… cheapened. Like I didn’t earn it.” Hastily, he added: “But, uh… I’d rather keep said position, if that’s alright.”

That brought a smirk to the Princess’ face. “If it makes you feel better, know that you were already my suggestion to the Parliament when they asked for recommendations. Cadenza was actually helpful in that respect. Had I been the most vocal supporter, I would almost certainly have been accused of favoritism.” She sipped her tea again. “I do honestly believe you capable, and ideal, for the role of Captain of the Guard. Do not be so hard on yourself.”

Shining finished the rest of his own tea, and set the cup back down on the table. “Well, that’s comforting. Still, it leaves the problem; what do we do now? It seems neither of us has any idea why she’s acting like this, and she’s hardly forthcoming.”

“Indeed.” She tilted her head and began looking up and down his form. He felt vaguely uncomfortable knowing Princess Celestia was checking him out.

“Um. Ma’am.”

“Hm? Oh, sorry. You are certainly attractive. A bit more muscle mass than the average stallion, but that’s to be expected with the military background. In truth, there is little physical difference between you and every other Guard in Canterlot. I cannot imagine why she’s sought you out specifically.”

Shining shifted slightly. “Well, we kinda dated a bit in High School, if you’ll recall. She had the accident before we got serious, and the breakdown was a little later. Hadn’t seen her since, until I ran into her on guard duty one night. She’s… changed.”

“How so?” Princess Celestia appeared intrigued now.

“She’s always acting… Unlike herself? Certainly not how I remember her. Granted, she was always a bit forward, but never like this. Absolutely shameless, as long as she believes it will get us together.”

Princess Celestia nodded, finishing her own tea. “Oh well. Well, if you acquire any new information…”

“I’ll come straight to you.” Shining finished.

A pleasant smile curled across her face, the first time she had done so since he had entered. “Excellent. I am glad to have selected such a cooperative Captain of the Guard, even should he eavesdrop occasionally.”

Shining coughed awkwardly. “Yes… well… Sorry. I got curious.”

Celestia’s eyes glinted, and suddenly Shining couldn’t tell whether she was being benevolent or malevolent. “Perfectly all right. Curiosity is a rare and valuable virtue in my little Ponies these days. Remember, however, that should your loyalty ever come into question, you serve the Crown. And the Crown signs your paycheques.” Shining shivered as Celestia’s visage returned to the warm, motherly image that most Equestrians saw her wearing eternally. “Ah! But I’ve forgotten completely the original reason I requested your presence, Captain.”

“There’s… something else?”

“Of course! Surely you did not think I invited you to my chambers simply to drink tea and gossip of our coworkers? Of course not. In any case, I was looking through the old staff records, and rediscovered a provision to the Captaincy I apparently added myself and then immediately forgot about. As Captain of the Guard, the protection of Ambassadors, Envoys, and Delegates defers to you as well as the protection of the Royal Family, and members of Parliament.”

“I am fully aware of that, yes.”

“And, 342 years past, I added a small provision to the duty, as a favor to Captain Feathered Heart and the then-Ambassador of Prance. You or I may permanently assign any member of the Equestrian Military or Royal Guard as Lord Protector to the Ambassador, Envoy, or what-have-you. Upon the Protected’s return to their country, province, or city-state of origin, or in fact any other point on the globe, they and the Lord Protector are asked whether they would like to continue their duties by accompanying them out-of-state.”

Shining Armour mulled it over. “Considering that’s only a small section of the laws and regulations concerning Lord Protectors, the only real difference I can see is that it’s become slightly more vague as to initial rank of the Protector.”

“Correct. Captain Shining Armour, I am assigning you to the position of Lord Protector of… well, let’s just say an Ambassador who has been giving me trouble, as of late.” Across the room, a drawer of the desk opened, and a scroll took to the air, aided by the Princess’ golden aura. It concluded it’s journey right in front of Shining Armour, who gently took it in his teeth before dropping it onto his hoof, and from there depositing it into a pocket of his uniform. Celestia continued, shifting her aura to ring a bell on a rope next to the door. “That is the appropriate paperwork, which I have already filled out. Or at least, my portion. There are still several spots that require your signature, as well as the Ambassador’s. Her room is number 27, near the end.”

Shining narrowed his eyes at her. “Is there a reason you aren’t telling ‘her’ name, or region of origin?”

Celestia wore a porcelain smile. “In my old age, I must find what little humour I can behind the barrier of bureaucracy. It amuses me. Surely you will not deny me this small joy?”

Shining shook his head. “Can you at least tell me why I’m being assigned as their Lord Protector? I doubt they’re in dire need of a glorified bodyguard.”

“Correct. She is perfectly safe, save several fringe groups and myself, should she continue to antagonize me. I am assigning you to her in the hopes that your presence will temper her gift of mischief, and impart some simple civility upon her. I am assigning you specifically, as opposed to any other local, because I believe it may also get Princess Cadenza to realize you are not interested. We have already seen she is not adept at ‘seeing the forest for the trees’ as it were.”

A spark of hope lit inside Shining. “You really think this will dissuade her?”

Celestia shrugged.”Perhaps. At the very least, it should give you a break. The Ambassador has Bodyguards of her own, and they have all the authority needed to keep Cadenza from entering said Ambassador’s quarters, if you require someplace that she cannot get to.” The door opened, and Blueblood arrived, looking to Celestia for instructions. A simple hoof signal conveyed that he should wait.

Shining grinned openly. “Someplace she can’t actually bug me all the time? Sign me up!” He stood, and with one last wave, walked past Blueblood and exited Princess Celestia’s quarters. As soon as Blueblood shut the door behind him, Princess Celestia slumped to the floor. Blueblood moved to catch her in case she fell, but she shook her head, indicating she was fine.

“Nephew… Am I… Too manipulative?”

Blueblood’s expression was like what one would wear if somepony had just asked to shine their nostrils. “Pardon, Auntie?”

“Am I too manipulative? Do I interfere in too many lives? Directing and controlling, organizing chance meetings… It was never so obvious, but now… I feel guilty for relegating dear Shining to merely another pawn on the board.”

“Auntie, are you feeling alright? Should I call the Royal Physician?”

“No, that should not be necessary. I simply believe I shall be retiring to bed early to-night. My headache has only gotten worse. Reschedule any of to-night’s meetings to another day, if you can.”

“Very good, Auntie. Anything else?”

“No, that should be all for now.” She made her way to the bed, but just before she reached it, she turned back to Blueblood. “Oh! On second thought, there is something. Please check the pantry for leaks, the Chamomile tasted somewhat metallic.”

“Of course, Auntie.”

Shining Armour trotted down the hall, not far from Princess Celestia’s quarters. This hallway, in the eastmost side of the Palace, was where most of the on-site living quarters were. Come to think of it, with his new rank, he likely had a room here somewhere as well. He made a note to ask somepony about that later.

The Princess’ room was all the way at the end, a position of honour. Ideally, none of the rooms were any more important than any other, but that was promptly turned on it’s head when the ponies in charge of those rooms began placing the visitors in order of the Princess’ familiarity, and hence her favorites, closer to her door and going down the hall in parallel pairs.

Thus, he paused when he finally reached room 342, which was all the way at the opposite end of the hall, next to the maid’s quarters. Externally, the door was innocuous enough, but the implications were causing Shining Armour to rethink his eagerness. Tamping those feelings down, he gave the door a series of quick raps with his hoof, then stood back. All too late, he realized that in his excitement, he had never actually taken the time to check who the Ambassador was, or what country they represented. He began frantically digging through his pockets in an attempt to locate the one where had put the scroll, and was still doing so as the door unlocked.

He retrieved the scroll just as the door opened, and stole his attention away. He looked up, and saw a beautiful, yet alien, creature creature standing before him in the doorway. She was nearly the same height, perhaps a bit shorter, than Princess Celestia, the Sun Goddess’ horn and wings mirrored by a twisted, curling spire and thin insectoid wings, respectively. In fact, this creature seemed to be a living mirror image of Princess Celestia in nearly every way, with white fur replaced by black chitin, and elegant legs pierced through-and-through with holes that, by all rights, should have been filled with bone and flesh, yet seemed natural. Her mane was similarly perforated, defying all logic with its aquamarine colour.

And yet, quite a bit of her appearance was more akin to Nightmare Moon. Her afore-mentioned colour was paired with her cat-like eyes, which were sparkling with intelligence and warmth. Her smile was similarly warming, as well as seductive, with a pair of fangs, so tiny they were more cute than scary poking from the corners of her lips. To top off the image, she was posing somewhat seductively, leaning against the doorframe in such a way as to call attention to her flank, which his eyes inevitably wandered to. And to be fair, it was a nice flank, well-rounded without being at all any larger than needbe-

He forced his eyes away, and tried to pretend he hadn’t been staring at her... Lack of Cutie Mark. Yes, that was it. That was his story, and he was sticking to it. Damn Cadance for getting him excited earlier!

Queen Chrysalis, High Queen of the largest independent Changeling Hive known, and Ambassador to the entire Changeling species as of three weeks past, opened the door, and smiled seductively. “Well, well, Big Boy. Business or Pleasure?”

Author's Note

So! New story! This is also notable for being the subject of a couple firsts. It's the first story I've written in which the final draft has been entirely written in Google Docs. Which I like, so I'll continue doing so. Though if anyone notices any formatting errors, lemme know.
It's also the first story which I've written where I'm consciously following Jules Verne's style, which explains some of the odd grammar and spelling, and I'd like this trend to continue for all of the Sparkyverse stories.

Edited October 22nd, of 2014. (Updated Pre-chapter infodump and rewrote Overseer Flash Sentry)