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Earthquakes were a rarity in central Equestria, so whenever Mr. and Mrs. Cake felt that deep, throbbing, buzzing low rumbling drone coming from the floorboards above their heads, they knew it could only mean one thing: Pinkie's favorite Saturday morning radio drama would be broadcasting soon. As she bounced, nay, vibrated her way down the stairs, the Cakes looked up from assembling pastries for the customers who would soon be flooding the bakery in a few hours before heading to their own jobs.
"Morning Cup! Morning Carrot!" Pinkie chimed as she buzzed through the kitchen.
Carrot Cake looked up from the croissant he was crafting. "Why, good morning Pinkie! You're up awfully early for a--"
"Bye guys gotta buzz!" she announced before he could finish.
Twilight Sparkle had been up late studying again, and in spite of the large amount of caffeine she had consumed and her dogged determination to solve Somber Sam Sr.'s Stelliograph Synchronization Problem, she found herself drawn to her bed. She was falling into a dream of an ancient ruin, when...
*WICK WICK WICK WICK!*
"Gah!" Twilight Sparkle was torn from her revery of exploring a haunted castle and out of bed at the loud noise. "Huh," she thought. "Woodpeckers usually leave this tree alone." But there in window, in the early not-even-dawn-yet haze, she saw not a Colaptes auratus, but a Pinkimus Pieicus, tapping on the bark of her home.
She trudged over to the door. "Pinkie, what on equiis are you doing here? It's five in the morning."
"Twilight, Twilight! 'My Little Human: Friendship is Satire' is about to start! It's a BRAND NEW episode called Scooby Dooby Don't, and it's gonna be great! I'm gonna gather all our friends here at the Golden Oak Library!"
"But Pinkie, it's not--"
The addressed mare was gone. Twilight Slammed her door and went back to studying. "Who?" asked Owlicious.
"Oh, that was just Pinkie being Pinkie. I doubt anypony will actually show up here."
Pinkie Pie trotted happily through the twilight towards the Apple family farm. They were the "early to bed, early to rise" type of ponies, and inasmuch Applejack could already be seen hauling equipment out to the fields.
Pinkie poked her head out of an apple tree, startling the farmer.
"Uh, hiya sugarcube. What's got ya out here ahead of the rooster today?"
Pinkie responded enthusiastically. "Applejack, Applejack! 'My Little Human: Friendship is Satire' is about to start! It's a BRAND NEW episode called Scooby Dooby Don't, and it's gonna be great! Come on, meet me at the Golden Oak Library!"
Applejack stared at the mare in her tree quizzically. "Look, I uh, reckon y'all are mighty excited, but--"
"Great, see you soon!" said Pinkie, and she disappeared back into the tree before she could receive a response.
She was about to leave, when she spotted Big Mac heading into the barn with a bucket handle in his mouth. How ponies were able to milk animals with their hooves, Pinkie would never know. But she saw an opportunity, and bounded up to the gentle giant.
"Big McIntosh, Big McIntosh! 'My Little Human: Friendship is Satire' is about to start! It's a BRAND NEW episode called Scooby Dooby Don't, and it's gonna be great! Come on, meet me at the Golden Oak Library!"
Big Mac took one look at her. "Eenope," he declared and headed back to the barn.
Pinkie knew he had a speech impediment, because the town's psychotherapist was also the town's speech therapist was also the town's gossip. But in this case, she suspected he was just being a grouchy-McGrouch-pants. Oh well, it was his loss. She decided not to wake Applebloom, because (although this was a radio show aimed at a younger target audience) kids obviously need their sleep. Instead she headed over to Fluttershy's cottage.
*WICK WICK WICK WICK!* Pinkie pounded on Fluttershy's door. A quiet "Eep!" could be heard from inside. Soon, the door opened and Fluttershy appeared, yawning. "Oh, hi Pinkie. I thought you were one of my woodpecker friends. You sounded a lot like a --YYYAAAAAWWWWWNNNN-- (excuse me!) Colaptes auratus. What can I do for you?"
"Fluttershy, Fluttershy! 'My Little Human: Friendship is Satire' is about to start! It's a BRAND NEW episode called Scooby Dooby Don't, and it's gonna be great! Come on, meet me at the Golden Oak Library!"
"Um, well Pinkie, that's nice, but ummm, today isn't--"
"Awesome; see you there in a few minutes!" And she again was gone.
"...Saturday?" Fluttershy finished, confused.
This same process was repeated with her other friends Rainbow Dash ("Pinkie, you are so random. It's not--") and Rarity ("I'm flattered by the invite darling, but I'm afraid I must decline. You see, while it's true that I tend to arise early on Saturday, today is in fact--"). Having awoken and addressed all her closest friends, she skipped back over to the tree house to await their arrival.
Despite Twilight's prediction, everypony actually showed up. They trotted in one by one, still half-asleep, and soon enough they were all there, looking crankier than Cranky Doodle Donkey.
"So!" Pinkie began cheerfully, "I woke you all up early today!"
"We know," they declared wearily.
"Yeesh, tough crowd," she muttered under her breath. "Anyway," she continued, "I've gathered you all here today because in just a few short hours, it will be time for our weekly Saturday morning--"
This time it was their turn to interrupt. "PINKIE IT'S FRIDAY!" they all simultaneously yelled.
Pinkie looked at them quizzically. "Uhhhh, duh?"
"Huh?" everypony gasped. "You mean, you know it's Friday?" asked Applejack tersely.
"Well yeah! This calendar," (which she produced from nowhere), "CLEARLY shows that TODAY is Friday and TOMORROW is Saturday!
The assembled mares were puzzled. Twilight spoke for them. "Well Pinkie, if you know that the broadcast is tomorrow, why did you gather us all here at this ungoddessly hour TODAY?"
"Oh Twilight, you silly filly! I gathered you all here with me so we can listen to the pre-show twenty-four hour MEGA-MARATHON!"
Rarity fainted.
~THE END~
Author's Note
Everypony else rolled their eyes, headed home, and went back to sleep.
