My Little Wesker

Chapters

Albert Wesker and the Land of the Ponyfolk
Albert Wesker and Meeting the Farm Pony
Albert Wesker and the Growing Realisation That This is Not a Dream
Albert Wesker and Manual Labour
Albert Wesker and a Unicorn
Albert Wesker, the Fashionista and the Flashback
Albert Wesker and the Lightning Fast Appearance of the Party Animal
Albert Wesker and Cooking
Albert Wesker and Meeting an Incredibly Shy Pony
Albert Wesker and the Luxury Purchase
Albert Wesker and the Party, Part I
Albert Wesker and the Party, Part II
Albert Wesker and the Party, Part III
Albert Wesker and the Party, Part IV
Albert Wesker and the Party, Part V
Albert Wesker and the Party, Final Part
Albert Wesker and the Conflict
Albert Wesker and the Dream, Part I
Albert Wesker and the Dream, Part II
Albert Wesker and the Dream, Final Part
Albert Wesker and the Hospital
Albert Wesker and the Unexpected Visitors
Albert Wesker and the Search For Answers
Albert Wesker and the Plan in Motion
Albert Wesker and the Revelation
Albert Wesker and the Suspicious Rabbit(s)
Albert Wesker and the Honest Pony
Albert Wesker and the Game of Kings
Albert Wesker and the Rebirth
Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Part II
Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Part III
Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Final Part.
Albert Wesker and the Awkwardness
Albert Wesker and the Tests
Albert Wesker and Hoofball, Part I
Albert Wesker and the Mystery Foal
Albert Wesker and Hoofball, Part II
Albert Wesker and the Long Walk Home
Albert Wesker and the Worst Memory
Albert Wesker and the Aftermath
Albert Wesker and the Colour Black
Albert Wesker and FASHION
Albert Wesker and the Showpony, Part I
Albert Wesker and the Showpony, Part II
Albert Wesker and the Showpony, part III
Albert Wesker and the Uneventful, Non-Dragon Related Day
Albert Wesker and the Long Goodbye
Albert Wesker and the Strain
Albert Wesker and the Long Walk
Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off
Albert Wesker and... There's a Dragon Living Nearby?!

Albert Wesker and the Land of the Ponyfolk

Albert Wesker and the Land of the Pony-folk

He'd failed. Failure was not a word that fitted comfortably into the vocabulary of Albert Wesker; he'd been conditioned from birth to be superior, to bring about a world free of the evils of humanity, with himself at the head. Once again, however, Chris Redfield, that meddlesome pest, had thwarted him and he'd resorted to his own creation in an attempt to finally gut the foolish BSAA member. Suddenly, the most recent events of Wesker's life flashed through his mind.

Uroboros... The volcano... The lava... Death?

His brain paused on the word, he was a god, he was power incarnate, he was above and beyond all of human-kind, how could he be dead? And if he were dead, how was he still formulating thoughts? Everything ached, it'd been a long time since he'd felt pain, true pain but now it felt like agony was making up for the lost time, he wasn't quite ready to face whatever situation he currently found himself in so he continued pontificating.

So arrogant, time and time again you had Redfield's life in my hands and you chose to prolong it for no other reason than your own megalomania, what were you trying to prove?

Wesker mulled that question over in his brain, he didn't have anything to prove, he was a god. Besides, once he'd killed Chris and his annoying partner then the release of Uroboros into the atmosphere would have been all the proof the world needed that they were at the mercy of a superior being. But now he had died, there was no doubt about that, he recalled seeing two rockets heading directly for his face while his lower body dissolved in molten rock and had known that this was the end. So where was he now? Hell? Purgatory? Wesker sneered at himself internally.

An afterlife? Hasn't witnessing your own mortality made you weak-minded?

The most infuriating part of his degenerating sanity whilst working on the Uroboros project was his need to split his thoughts into separate 'voices' in order to prevent the myriad of different thoughts from driving him to distraction, this particular voice he'd labelled as 'Critical' as it never overlooked an opportunity to undermine his plans or his thought process.

So what now, Albert? Do you keep your eyes closed and allow your thoughts to keep you company for eternity or do you actually do something?

Wesker decided that he'd been unmoving for long enough and decided to confront whatever this apparent afterlife had thrown at him; he shifted slightly in order to push himself to his feet before he noticed he was lying on grass.

Interesting...

He cracked open his eyes slightly and froze. Everything around was brightly coloured and cheerful, it looked as though there was a peaceful village on the horizon from where he sat, on a large field, his brain processed this information almost instantaneously before his intellect drew his attention to another, far more important matter.

I'm a horse.

Wesker stood stock still, in the middle of a field as his considerable mind attempted to process this new information, he slowly raised one hoof in front of his eyes and thought briefly about going back to sleep and chalking this up to temporary insanity. Instead of skin, he saw a pale coat of hair leading up to the indelicate appendage; he arched an eyebrow and decided to approach this situation scientifically.

I'm a horse... A horse. Four legs. Hooves.

He tentatively raised a hoof to the top of his head, then to his rear.

A mane and a tail.

He was acutely aware that he was simply listing the different body parts of a horse in order to distract himself from the current reality, another mental voice decided to bring him crashing back, it wasn't one that he recognised.

Hey Al, it's me! Your sense of excitement and joy, remember me? You're a horse now, isn't that awesome? You were always a fan of porridge, right? That has oats in, horses love oats! You're going to have a great time.

Wesker shook his head slowly, he didn't recall ever having a sense of joy and the only excitement he ever seemed to have revolved around scientific discovery and pushing the boundaries of bio-weaponry.

Weaponry, Shmeaponry Al, you've got hooves now, you can't do science... Unless there's people here who can delegate, that'd be weird, being told what to do by a horse. Haha, can you imagine?

He could imagine it, and he didn't like the implications one bit, if there's one thing that rankled Albert Wesker, it was being treated with anything less that the respect that he deserved. Who's to say everyone here wasn't a horse? Or that he was in some bizarre horse-centric land? Now that he analysed his surroundings, he did note that the colours and scenery seemed to have an ethereal, otherworld quality.

You ain't in Kansas anymore, Al, hahaha! This probably is your version of hell: Happiness? Peacefulness? You'll probably end up going on one of your monologues at all the happy ponies, "I... am... A GOD. MWAHAHAHAHAHA."

Wesker winced, his mental state had previously degenerated to the point where he couldn't recognise himself anymore, and it appeared that a couple of RPG's to the skull were what he needed to restore clarity. Well, some degree of clarity anyway, the voices that still resonated in his head were still evidence of his... unique circumstances. In order to stave off the relentless chirping of the voices, he decided to evaluate his senses to see if he had retained his superhuman abilities.

Hearing...

One of his ears twitched as he focused solely on the auditory aspect of his surroundings, he could hear the far off sound of owls hooting and the wind ruffling the leaves of the trees; he smirked.

As good as before.

He could already tell his sight was as sharp as it had been previously, he could see each individual leaf on the trees in the distance.

Oh, you can see and hear well, all hail Albert Wesker, God of us all...

Wesker rolled his eyes at Critical, before testing the attribute which mattered to him the most. Though, his aching body suggested to him that he was restored to the equivalent level of strength he possessed prior to the Arklay Mansion incident, which was still formidable, considering the attitude with which he approached his physical and mental well being whilst he was the Captain of STARS. He attempted a rapid dash forwards and found his new body lacking the capability; he also attempted a hoofed version of the Cobra Strike and once again saw his limb moving at a fast, yet generally possible pace. He sighed.

Unfortunate, Albert. It appears you are just a normal... horse. Good luck trying to establish yourself amongst equals once more, remember how fun it was last time?

Wesker frowned, even without his superhuman abilities; he was still superior, even if he felt exhausted and drained. It was time to confront the denizens of this peculiarly colourful land and find out what exactly was going on. He glanced around and found his eyes drawn towards a large farmhouse in the distance.

Fun fun fun, Al. Go and say hello to your new neighbours. Hahaha, 'Neigh'- bours. It's going to be amazing here!

Wesker rolled his eyes and looked up at the night sky as he began to trot towards the wooden farmhouse, he'd rather meet whoever was here than spend the rest of his life with these voices as his only company.

Albert Wesker and Meeting the Farm Pony

Albert Wesker and meeting the farm pony

Wesker knocked twice on the oak front door before taking a step back and awaiting whoever, or whatever, opened the door. Joy chose this moment to make another vacuous point while he waited:

Haha, hey Al, when was the last time you knocked on a door and wanted a horse to answer it?

Critical then decided to chip in whilst the corners of Wesker's mouth twitched at the previous thought:

Of course, Albert would rather have all the laws of nature turned on their heads than have to be a second class citizen.

The suggestion of a hint of a smirk disappeared rapidly as he mulled over that idea, he supposed it was true, being a horse in a world of humans would be infuriating; god knows how long it'd be before he trampled some pathetic human's head because they tried to ride him and got turned into glue.

That'd be a sticky situation, eh Al? Sticky, get it? Like glue?

Wesker sighed, he never had to deal with this relentlessly cheery voice during the Uroboros project, even as his personality began to degenerate and fragment. He assumed it was because he had a project and an ultimate goal in mind, now he was fixed irrevocably in the present and had nothing to distract himself anymore. A mind as active and powerful as his was inevitably going to find something to occupy his time.

Hey, I'm better than Critical, right Al?

Wesker was inclined to agree, though it wouldn't be difficult to top the annoyingly acidic and uncannily incisive voice that had taken root in his mind long ago. Well, it was his mind, which infuriated him even more. At least he hadn't taken to talking back to the voices; that would be the beginning of the end.

"Can ah help y'all?" The speaker was an orange pony, with a very blonde mane and tail, both fixed into ponytails, a fact which sent Joy off into a vast array of teeth grindingly awful puns. Additionally, she was wearing a fairly worn Stetson and an expression which rather indicated that she had been asleep earlier and would ideally like to return to that state of affairs. Wesker was torn between relief that he wouldn't have to worry about developing an inferiority complex so soon after developing a god complex and bafflement that he had died and somehow ended up in a world with talking ponies, which would have been confusing enough without being a pony himself.

"Yes. I am Albert Wesker and I have just regained consciousness on a field somewhere in that direction." He indicated vaguely with a hoof, "Since I do not know anyone in the vicinity, I ventured towards the nearest residence I could find, this one to be precise. Would it be possible for me to rest here for the night, Miss...?"

"Applejack. Boy howdy, Al, you sure do sound like the bookish type, bet you and Twi'd get along mighty fine. Ah wouldn't be much of a pony if I left y'all shiverin' out here in the cold, Applebloom's havin' a sleepover with her lil friends so we've even got a free bed for y'all." She gave him a slightly tired smile before stepping inside to allow him entry.

Wesker grimaced slightly at the abridged use of his first name, nodded at the Cowboy hat wearing pony and followed her into her home. He didn't particularly care if he'd woken her up but felt inclined to say something for common courtesy's sake.

That's you, Albert, master of courtesy, you always said please and thank you before you tore out someone's spine.

Doggedly ignoring the biting sarcasm of Critical, Wesker ventured a slight apology whilst simultaneously wondering at the fact she had just allowed a complete stranger to enter her home, wherever he was, they clearly didn't have much crime to fear. That or he looked innocent enough as a pony to inspire trust, a vaguely unnerving thought.

"I apologise if I woke you. Miss Applejack."

The orange pony offered a slightly more genuine smile than before, probably misjudging Wesker's forced politeness as indicative of a good nature. "Don't y'all worry none; I was already up, 'bout to get myself a midnight snack. Care to join me, Al?"

He arched an eyebrow, it'd been a long time since he'd had any sort of food around midnight and had the mindset to refer to it as a 'midnight snack', it just evoked the idea of comic books and mischief in a public school kind of manner.

Let's go raid the larder and get ourselves a midnight snack before Cook realises we're there!

He decided that the slight gnawing hunger he felt outweighed his trepidation at behaving like a child and he trotted after her, noticing the bushel of apples imprinted on her side. Perhaps the ponies here were named after their birthmarks; it would make sense... so far as any of this situation made sense to him. Unfortunately, Applejack chose this moment to look back at Wesker and caught him staring unashamedly at her rear.

"Erm... Is there something I can help y'all with back there?" She tried her very best to make her tone light and teasing but Wesker could sense just a hint of annoyance lurking behind her words.

Wesker wasn't an idiot; he knew what she must have assumed and therefore went straight to the point. "Indeed, what exactly is that mark on your side, Miss Applejack?"

The farm-working pony looked at him as though he were simple before replying, "Why, that's my cutie mark, Al, I'd have thought you'd a known that, considerin' you got one of your very own."

Wesker dared to glance down to his side, he still wasn't any the wiser as to what a 'cutie mark' was but to hear it used in association with him filled him with a tangible feeling of dread. It was...

A pair of sunglasses? How appropriate, even when you're another species, you've still got the mark of your inability to face who you really are.

Don't listen to Critical, Al, I think it looks pretty damn cool. Bet no other pony's going to have a cutie mark like that... Well, I assume... Find out what a cutie mark is, Al!

"May I inquire as to what a cutie mark is?" Wesker tried to ensure his voice gave away nothing but honest curiosity but in truth, not knowing things made him anxious and irritable and he wanted to know what a cutie mark was. Now.

Applejack looked briefly incredulous before composing herself and starting to explain. "Well shoot, Al, never seen a pony with a cutie mark not know what one was. Put simply, a cutie mark appears when a pony finds out what makes him or her special. So what, you some sort of sunglasses designer?"

Had Wesker's sense of humour been better exercised, he would probably have needed to resist the urge to laugh outright, as it was, he instead settled for a knowing smirk. "Something like that, Miss Applejack."

"Please Al, just Applejack if ya don't mind, you're wastin' a word every time you say Miss."

Wesker's lips twitched, "Some of us enjoy the liberty of wasting our words, especially since everything else we waste seems to be so expensive."

Very philosophical Albert, aren't you the man of mystery?

Applejack's brow knotted as she tried to decipher what Wesker had just said before she gave it up with a faint smile. "Don't you try and confuse me with your fancy talk, Al, just call me Applejack and have a snack with me."

The twitch of Wesker's lips evolved into a slight smirk. "I believe I can manage that... Applejack."

They ate a couple of apples in comfortable silence before Applejack volunteered to show Wesker to his room for the night, it was fairly small and dotted with trinkets and pictures which left Wesker in no doubt that its owner was a child, but it was still a vast improvement over a field.

Wesker inclined his head towards Applejack, "Thank you for your hospitality, and the food."

Applejack returned the gesture and replied, "It was no problem, y'hear? Besides, if y'all just got here then I'm thinkin' you'll be fixin' for a job. Apple Acres is always lookin' for workers."

Wesker raised an eyebrow, invest food and a bed once and you may just have a loyal employee for a while. Clever girl. "I'll keep that in mind, Applejack."

Applejack nodded once and departed with a simple "Night Al."

Wesker looked around the young filly's room and wondered once more at the absurdity of his situation, he assumed that once he awoke from his slumber this time, he'd probably be half dead in a ditch, covered in residual Uroboros. Though he had to wonder at the manner in which his brain decided to recreate purgatory, he'd never been especially fond of horses, which made everything even more baffling. Perhaps the feeling that none of this was real was what was keeping him here, maybe he'd regain consciousness once he'd fully accepted this as reality. He raised a hoof in front of his eyes, before raising his gaze skyward.

Highly unlikely.

Albert Wesker and the Growing Realisation That This is Not a Dream

"Give it up Wesker, it's over!" Redfield brandished his handgun, face a picture of small minded, sanctimonious, moralistic determination as his partner stepped up alongside him in a similar pose.

"Over?" Wesker injected as more venom as he could into this one word, he wasn't over, Uroboros wasn't over, all he had to do was ensure that this pitiful insect stayed DEAD. "I'm just getting started!" With that he smashed his fist into the metal casing of the missile containing Uroboros and breathed heavily as it began to overwhelm his system, he could see the look of fear on the faces of the BSAA agents and knew that he had truly ascended to the status of a God, if there were any doubt before. Suddenly, however, both Chris and Sheva began to laugh, a full, hearty, impossible-to-stop chuckle.

Wesker was incredulous, "What are you laughing about? I am your God; I will end your pathetic existence."

Redfield managed to stem his laughter for a second before gesturing weakly in the tyrant's direction, "You're a horse, Wesker!" This then sent him into a fresh paroxysm of hilarity, as he tried to use Sheva's shoulder to keep himself upright.

"WHAT?" Wesker looked down at himself, he was a horse! With a picture of some sunglasses on his flank, "It doesn't matter, Redfield, I'll destroy you, the human race requires judgement." Without warning, the scene lurched rapidly and Wesker, still in horse form, was on a beautiful, grassy meadow, the wind running through his mane. This... was better, nothing to worry about; suddenly he became acutely aware of a presence on his back.

Wesker slowly turned his head to see Redfield giving him a reassuring grin, "Easy Weskie, let's reign it in, don't want to turn an ankle and end up in the glue factory, do we?" Wesker snorted, he didn't take instruction from a simpleton like Chris, maybe he could buck him off and finish him, once and for all. The pace increased as Wesker hurtled through the meadow, occasionally flicking his back legs upwards in an attempt to end the meddlesome BSAA agent. Rather than fear his untimely death, Redfield actually seemed to be enjoying himself, letting out a series of whoops and hollers. Wesker was so distracted with trying to kill Chris, that he didn't notice the ground ahead becoming rocky and uneven until he felt his ankle go at an unnatural angle and he collapsed in a heap.

Redfield, who somehow seemed entirely unharmed, was walking over to Wesker's prone form with a loaded shotgun. He had tears in his eyes and his grip on the firearm was shaky and unsteady, "I'm sorry, Weskie, you were always my favourite pony." A sudden loud blast issued forth and everything went white.

Wesker jerked awake, sweat dripping down his brow, it was early morning from the looks of things. What a ridiculous pair of dreams, both the arrival at the farmhouse of a talking pony and being mercy killed by Chris. His train of thought instantly derailed when he noticed where he was... still in that little pony's bedroom, how...? What?

Look at your hoooooooooves, Al. Look at your hooooooves.

Wesker sighed; this was real, wasn't it? It was improbable, impossible to explain and utterly illogical but somehow he was a talking horse in a land of ponies, who could also talk. He needed to find a library or some other educational facility and find out as much as he could about the history, social order and structure and everything in between of this strange land to truly ascertain his circumstances. He'd always been a fan of a good book or two, so it wouldn't be a truly horrific way to spend a day. He laid back lazily on the bed, stretching out his limbs and planning the day ahead, there was a chance he may have to help Applejack briefly in return for the food and bed but Wesker was sure he could delay it or possibly avoid it all together.

Why, Al? Not like you've got anywhere important to be or anything important to do, why not help out?

Eurgh, so now Joy was turning into his moral conscience? Fantastic, it'd been a long time since he had one of them...

Ha, you still love me, Al. Now... wait. Do you smell pancakes?

He did and they smelt incredible, he was suddenly ravenous and if he wanted to eat these pancakes it'd be a lot harder to avoid doing work. He sighed again; it'd probably be worth it from the smell of them. It was odd to have a pancake centred dilemma so soon after his world-changing plans had failed; it was certainly a drastic change of size and scope. In the end, his stomach won out over his general inclination to not help people and he trotted downstairs towards the kitchen. A large, red stallion awaited him as he reached the source of the smell, the other occupant of the room besides Wesker was raptly monitoring the gently sizzling pancakes and Wesker was able note his apple cutie mark without alerting him to his presence. A big brother or possibly a cousin, he assumed, Applejack seemed like an honest to goodness farm girl... pony and if that was the case, she was probably from a large family. He enjoyed logical deductions, they helped briefly draw his mind away from the fact he was a horse. Rather than appear to be an intruder in the home, he cleared his throat loudly in order to ensure that there'd be no unexpected outbursts of defensive violence.

The well built red pony turned towards the source of the noise and nodded slightly when he saw Wesker standing there, a gesture that the blond-maned pony returned with an almost imperceptible inclination of his head.

"Nice to meet y'all, Mr Wesker sir, name's Big Macintosh, Applejack's big brother, she told me y'all had no place to stay." The big farm pony rumbled, Wesker got the impression that this many words at once was a rare occurrence, he seemed like the strong, silent type.

"That is correct; I've found myself in... hard times as of late."

Pfft, tell me about it, Al.

Wesker briefly considered trying to explain to Big Macintosh that he was actually a human but he felt it would just mark him out as an insane vagrant and reduce his chances of eating the pancakes that were being cooked, an eventuality that terrified Wesker more than any other. Not to mention that his dream was clinging determinedly to the foggy recesses of his brain, if, by some miracle, Big Macintosh believed he was actually a species that possibly didn't exist in this land, how could he then also expect the crimson pony to understand the circumstances of his arrival?

Hey big red pony, I was a slimy monster that had a lava bath, look at me now!

Wesker internally hmph'd and conceded that point to Joy, there was no way that they could understand anything of what he'd set out to do, not that humanity could either. Ignorance and a fear of anything which upsets the decadent, murdering status quo would always rise up against the true visionaries, he'd never expected anything less, even when he was bellowing at Chris in the volcano as to whether he really thought humanity was worth saving.

"Not a problem, Mr Wesker, y'all are more than welcome to stay here but you'd need to earn your keep, y'hear?" Big Macintosh stated in a firm tone, not necessarily unkind but nonetheless adamant that Wesker had no chance of getting free food and lodgings, a sentiment which Wesker considered entirely fair, if slightly deflating.

Wesker arched an eyebrow, "Whereabouts would I sleep? I gather that the bed I slept in was free only as of tonight."

Macintosh nodded before replying, "Our sofa folds out, y'all would be sleeping on that." Wesker's nose wrinkled for the briefest of moments but Macintosh caught the expression, "Hey, were y'all expectin' silk sheets? Tain't worse than sleeping outside." Wesker nodded slowly, that was certainly true, he'd experienced waking up on the cold grass outside and found that it certainly did not compare favourably to awaking with a roof over his head.

"If I agree to this proposal," Wesker started, causing Macintosh to roll his eyes at the emphasis he put on the word 'If', "then I will get to eat pancakes before I start working."

Clearly Macintosh had been expecting slightly more extravagant terms as he proceeded to break out into a relieved smile. "Course, Mr Wesker, can't have y'all workin' on an empty stomach now. They're just about done now, as it is."

So it was that Albert Wesker, potential God, found himself in a farmhouse kitchen devouring pancakes like his life depended on it. All things considered, death could have gone far worse than it ultimately had. Once he'd finished, he turned to Macintosh and gave him an appreciative nod before enquiring, "Is there a library around here?"

Macintosh nodded and seemed to have formulated a mini-plan, "Sure is, Mr Wesker, smart unicorn called Twilight Sparkle lives there, I need to deliver a couple of bushels there, I can show y'all the way after work."

Wesker brushed aside the word 'unicorn' and stored it in a handy mental folder titled 'Save for later', "That would be satisfactory." Wesker paused and decided that he hadn't said quite enough, "What work needs to be done?"

As it turned out for a usually expertly groomed and in-control Wesker, far more than he would have liked.

Albert Wesker and Manual Labour

Wesker had never liked manual labour; it was a fact that hadn't failed to overload his brain as soon as he'd been hooked up to the rusty plough by Macintosh. He was a thinker, not a... workhorse, he was certainly not lacking physically but he specialised in pursuits of the mind. Though he supposed that thinking the field ploughed was not a viable agricultural strategy.

Imagine if you could though, Al. You'd be a hero, all the pancakes you could eat!

Wesker could only shake his head at the ludicrous suggestion as he strained on the harness in front of him and slowly began moving forward.

Indeed, Albert... isn't that what a God should be able to do?

Wesker bared his teeth as he strode forwards, tilling the soil whilst he walked, his superiority complex had taken a shattering blow after his defeat at the hands of Chris but nonetheless, he couldn't help but feel like this work was beneath him, is this how a God was supposed to use his power? Even as he said it, his stomach did an odd flip, he was no longer a God and he had assumed that position based on his genetic alterations, now he was just an everyday, average... pony. The implications of this struck him in a way that had evaded him when he had just awoken on the field, Wesker had had bigger problems at the time but now he was fully aware of what this meant.

Your life's work, Albert. Meaningless. Like you.

This moment was worse than when he had reawakened after allowing the Tyrant to impale him, learning he had failed and that the ultimate life form had been vanquished by Jill and... Chris. That time, his brain had put aside the all consuming rage and began plotting and formulating once more in order to recoup his losses, what could he do now? He reached the end of the strip of land that he had been ploughing and used his sudden fury to fuel his strength and turn it around and continue on to the next band of earth, letting out a roar as he did so. It was worthless, pointless; the assassinations, the manipulations, the endless Umbrella dinner parties filled with sycophantic worms and braying, self-important cretins , having to associate with that hussy, Excella. All so he could be a horse and plough fields until his dying day; had anypony been able to see Albert Wesker's face, they would have surely recoiled at the white hot rage that was consuming his features at this point.

Al... You did all of that stuff because you had to. You were in Umbrella's world, programmed by Spencer. You're free of that now; you can be who you want to be.

Wesker nearly blew a fuse, he'd WANTED to be a God, and he'd WANTED to wipe the planet clean of pathetic, snivelling, self-destructive humans and start again with a new master race but the seeds of fate had decreed that what he WANTED meant NOTHING. While those who wanted nothing other than mediocrity and to wallow in their own pathetic concerns and quasi-misery got exactly what they desired! Joy seemed oddly subdued, a fact which gave Wesker a feeling of savage pleasure, until his internal voice spoke again.

That isn't what you wanted, Al. That's what Spencer told you to want, remember? His values were instilled in you on a subliminal level, what do YOU want?

Wesker thought, really thought, and the effect was akin to dunking his head in a bowl of ice cold water. Clarity restored just in time, Wesker mused, and he was almost at the end of the current segment of soil. He mulled it over as he hefted the plough to face back the way he had come, gently biting his lip as he thought, a very un-Weskerlike gesture but hell, Wesker considered; this whole damn situation was 'un-Weskerlike'. He wanted... to find out more about the land he was in, Applejack and Macintosh seemed like good people but hardly scholars, this Twilight Sparkle seemed to be the best port of call. That was the short-term but what of the long term? What exactly did he want to achieve whilst he was here? The call of a deity felt incredibly hollow to him after his previous attempt.

Just think short term for now, Al. For once.

The surprisingly logical voice (it was him, he supposed) raised a solid point, it felt like he was always ten steps ahead of everyone else and every action he took was designed to have implications in the near future, if not the distant future. He couldn't remember the last time he'd 'winged it', as it were.

Uroboros, Albert? You certainly didn't plan that.

That was undeniably correct, and look how that had turned out... though he also conceded that he had been under extreme pressure, was poisoned by his so-called 'serum' and was blinded by apocalyptic rage at that insufferableass, Chris Redfield. He also still remembered what the BSAA agent had said after he had injected Wesker for the second time.

You're just another of Umbrella's leftovers.

He had worked at Umbrella long enough to know that, without exception, their 'leftovers' did not get a second chance of any form, all that awaited was death... if you were lucky, but now Wesker had a second chance, however limited it may have appeared at first glance. The blond maned pony allowed himself a rare full smile; he was never one to pass up an opportunity.

Once he'd finished the fatigue that Wesker had managed to ward off via close mental control hit him like the proverbial ton of bricks and he wobbled unsteadily towards the farmhouse, once Macintosh had unhooked him. It certainly didn't help that he'd been forced to learn to move as an entirely different species, a task he'd undertaken with his typical imperturbable nonchalance but nonetheless he felt he moved normally, rather than with the usual control and minimal effort he was used to. Another task on the 'short-term' list, he felt. Macintosh had been duly impressed with the efficiency of Wesker's work, finishing the ploughing of his allocated field only marginally earlier than Albert, and the pale, former human merely gave him a look which said, 'You expected anything less?' With that, Macintosh had informed Wesker that Applejack had baked apple pies for the two of them and they set off on the short walk towards nutrition.

Neither of them were particularly big talkers and both were weary from good, honest hard work, so it was unsurprising to Wesker that they made the journey in companionable silence, he was moderately surprised, however, when Macintosh decided to speak up, "Must say, Mr Wesker, that ploughing was mighty fine, you sure you never done this before?"

Wesker preened subconsciously at the compliment before calmly answering, "I have not." He looked down at the mud splattered across his hooves and forelegs with mild disgust, "I'm sure I would remember... it certainly leaves its mark."

Macintosh let out a soft chuckle, "Bein' muddy's a sign o' hard work, Mr Wesker, sir. Don't let nopony tell y'all otherwise."

Wesker aimed a ghost of a smile towards the crimson stallion, "I'll be sure to remember that, Big Macintosh." He paused for a moment, "Am I right in the assumption that you've done more talking today than you have in a long time?"

Macintosh nodded slowly, "Eeyup. I ain't much of a talker but to new ponies, it can be a bit intimidatin' if I just stand there, all big and quiet, so I tries to make 'em feel welcome first. Don't you worry; I'll be clammin' up once you're settled here."

Wesker let out an inelegant snort at the final statement, "Don't strain your vocal chords on my behalf, I daresay you may need them for something more important."

The red pony chuckled, "Not sure how familiar y'all are with farm work, Mr Wesker, but I don't need my voice for them chores, besides, it ain't like I'm talking ya ear off." That was true, Wesker had certainly experienced his ear 'being talked off' both by actual human beings and internal voices and those experiences shared nothing in common with the relaxing interchange between himself and Big Macintosh. The rest of the walk passed with little to no conversation, only a confirmation that the two of them would be taking some apples to Twilight's library home after dinner. Macintosh didn't seem to want to pry into this mysterious pony's past and even if he had, Wesker was in no mood to share that information just yet, if ever. The smell of apple pie wafting through the window of the farmhouse reminded Wesker of two things: Firstly, that was fallible again and that he was at the beck and call of everyday whims and needs but secondly, and more importantly, that he was absolutely ravenous. He wasn't about to let his composure slip, however, and he calmly accompanied...

More like Accom-PONIED, right Al?

Wesker gritted his teeth. ...Big Macintosh to the dinner table where Applejack was sitting with a beaming smile and where three steaming apple pies were set upon place mats. Wesker and Macintosh sat either side of the ponytailed farm pony, Wesker with a polite nod and Macintosh with a sigh and a hungry declaration of thanks. Wesker instantly dived into the apple pastry, possibly breaking some sort of record, he didn't care, Macintosh tried to do the same but Applejack pulled the pie away from him and held it tauntingly out of reach.

"Uh uh, big brother, what do ya say?"

Macintosh let out a long suffering sigh and uttered, in tones that suggested that this particular mantra had been uttered before, "You're the bestest cook ever in the history of Ponyville and I'm mighty lucky and honoured to have ya as a sister."

Applejack guffawed and slid the pie back into her hungry sibling's reach, "And don't y'all forget it." She then turned towards the devouring whirlwind that was Wesker with a piercing stare, "Anything to add, Al?" Wesker's head snapped up and he gave Applejack a dazed look reminiscent of a bunny caught stealing carrots from the produce shed.

However, as he was Wesker, his inherent nature shone through and he automatically smirked before drawling, "Applejack, if you wish to learn my cooking secrets, then you need only ask." Macintosh stifled a chortle as the orange pony's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline before returning Wesker's smirk with one of her own, "Well, Al, let's see if you're all hat and no cattle. You're cookin' tomorrow."

Bluff called, Al, should have just said the same thing as Macintosh.

"With pleasure, Applejack." Wesker said smoothly, finishing his meal and stepping away from the table at the same time as Big Macintosh, "Thank you for the meal, it was most..." He couldn't help feeling amused as Applejack leaned forwards, eagerly awaiting the end of that sentence, "...satisfactory." He finished with a devilish grin. Applejack scowled and Macintosh let out another gust of laughter, before hurrying Wesker away from the irate mare.

As the two walked towards Twilight's, each towing heavy carts piled with apples. Applejack waited until they were a fair distance before popping her head through the doorframe and shouting, "Y'all had better bring your best, Al, I'm expectin' the best meal I ever had."

For the first time in a long time, Albert Wesker let out a deep, rich but above all, genuine laugh.

Albert Wesker and a Unicorn

Author's Note: Just to clarify, I've decided to set this fic after Episode 4 of Season 1, "Applebuck Season" but before Episode 5, "Griffon the Brush-Off." All the meetings between Wesker and 'the mane 6' will occur before episode 5.

He was delivering apples to a unicorn. Sometimes Wesker felt that this 'afterlife' was designed to test his sanity to the limit, it was just so illogical for this to be happening to a man resolutely devoted to science and utterly unreceptive to the outlandish and the fantastic. Still, he was hitched to a cart of apples and the heavy weight dragging behind him was certainly convincing evidence that this was real, whatever 'real' was now. Ultimately, Wesker pondered, the way to avoid any major breakdown was to remain irrevocably in the present and not let his mind get the better of him with regards to his increasingly bizarre future.

To that end, he turned his head towards Big Macintosh and began conversation, "What can you tell me about this Twilight Sparkle?"

Macintosh tilted his head to the side and thought carefully before he slowly spoke, "Real brainy type. Bookish, gets through 'bout half the library every single day. Really good at magic, so I hear, she ain't one to show it off though."

"Of course" Wesker repeated blankly, "Magic." Magic? What on earth was going on? He was a pony, fine. There were other talking ponies, fine. There were magical, talking ponies...

I find it unusual you can accept the existence of talking ponies easier than the existence of magic, Albert. Perhaps you're irritated that those childhood years spent mocking those your age who still believed in magic were wasted.

It did slightly conflict with his general outlook on life... but he supposed he would just have to adapt and persevere, as he always did. Just another topic to retrieve another book on, he'd probably need both the carts to transport the ones that would pique his interest. He assumed that magic was the domain of unicorns, as he hadn't seen any inkling that Applejack, or her brother, were capable of doing anything remotely magical. As he pontificated on this subject, he noticed a few ponies with feathered wings flying overhead; he must have been deadened to further revelations as he glanced at them disinterestedly before returning his eyes to the path in front of him.

Aw man... Can you believe that, Al? You come here and you can't fly or do magic, that's a tough break.

Indeed, it seemed as though his previous fears of being genetically inferior were partially founded, it appeared to be the case that he was...reincarnated, for lack of a better word, as an individual with no particular external talents. Though luckily his arrogance was there to save him from sudden meltdown, he was vastly intellectually superior and took a small amount of comfort from that. He'd known that before the Progenitor Virus resurrected him; clearly physical perfection had warped his mind slightly, now that he was 'back to normal', he'd have to rely on his wits once more rather than brute strength or superhuman speed.

Rely on your wits, Al? You're talking like you're in grave danger or something, come on, just lighten up, you don't need to be so twitchy all the time.

Twitchy? Ha! He just had his guard in place at all times but... he supposed paranoia was only not paranoia when everyone actually was out to get you, he assumed that wasn't the case anymore but he hated to assume anything, he preferred cold, hard facts. Hence the desire to visit this library, speaking of which...

"Here we are, Mr Wesker that was a fair ol' trek with these here carts, huh?" Big Macintosh turned to Wesker with a faint smile as the latter looked up at the tree/ house with a look that signified both confusion and intrigue.

The blond maned pony turned to his companion with an eyebrow arched. "If you say so, Macintosh, I didn't see you as the type to tire so easily."

The crimson pony chuckled, "Y'all love your challenges don'tcha, Mr Wesker. Don't make me do an AJ and make you pull both carts next time we go into town." It was a mark of Wesker's stubborn pride that he genuinely considered accepting this proposal before telling himself that he was above such trivialities... apart from tomorrow's potential cooking fiasco.

"Duly noted."

Macintosh nodded at Wesker with his smile still firmly in place before motioning to the back of the library, "Y'all put those round the back and go in to get our payment, it'll be about twenty bits. I need to deliver these here apples to Mr and Mrs Cake" Bits? Interesting, it appeared that the ponies had a currency based economy, rather than one based on trading goods and services, like Wesker expected; though he had to admit that his expectations had proven to mean relatively little in such a place. "You can pick up your books while you're in there, Mr Wesker."

It was a sound plan, and so Wesker found himself in front of the library's front door after leaving the carts around of Twilight's home. Wesker had raised the issue of the apples going off but according to Macintosh, Twilight knew a spell to preserve food and was happy to have them out in the open to ensure less work when he came to retrieve the empty cart. He banged firmly on the heavy, wooden door with his hoof and waited for somepony to answer. He took the delay to examine the structure more readily; it was certainly a fascinating piece of architecture, seemingly hewed directly from the tree... which he supposed it was. He had no idea how on earth such a building could be made, and all his speculations ran into severe logical inconsistencies.

It was magic, Al. Magic. Ooooooooooooh.

He sighed and started to muse some more when he noticed the door open; all of a sudden, the doorframe was filled (not entirely, Wesker thought drily) by a small purple lizard-like creature, who looked at him questioningly before speaking, "Hey, I'm Spike, how can I help?" At Wesker's vacant look, he sighed, "I'm a dragon, you must be new here."

Wesker felt mildly embarrassed at his obvious incredulity, "Indeed." He tipped his head slightly before continuing, "A pleasure to meet you, my name is Albert Wesker, I'm here to collect twenty bits for the apples I just delivered and I'm interested in renting some books once my business is concluded." It was difficult to remain civil when his brain was threatening to implode with all the ludicrous happenings that he'd been subjected to recently.

Cooool, a dragon. I hope he can breathe fire, that'd be so awesome!

The dragon, which was either capable or incapable of breathing fire, smiled, "Oh, no problem, come on in. I'll go get Twilight." Taking great care to wipe his feet on the mat before entering, he strolled in after Spike, carefully planning which tomes he would indulge in, so much so that his thoughts were in the foreground ahead of Spike shouting up the stairs, "Hey, Twilight, the apples are here."

A female voice floated down, "Oh, okay, give me a sec, I left the bits on the side." Wesker could hear this Twilight mumbling to herself as she presumably searched around for payment before letting out a declaration of triumph. "Got it!" He also heard the unmistakable sound of hooves approaching the top of the stairs as he busied himself with examining the books in the library. Hmm, 'An Abridged History of Equestria,' that sounded promising. He had no way of knowing if all these books would be of any use in his relentless pursuit of understanding his circumstances, he supposed it would be wise to request assistance from Miss Twilight, though he at least now knew the name of the land he was in, that title seemed perfect for some of his requirements.

"Oh." A startled sound at the top of the stairs drew his attention and he slowly turned his head to face the source, "I was expecting Big Macintosh, I don't believe we've met. I'm Twilight Sparkle." A purple unicorn with a plum coloured mane and tail, both of which had a vibrant pink stripe running through them, greeted him.

"Quite. I've heard much about you, Miss Sparkle, I am Wesker, Albert Wesker." He mentioned his surname first in the hope that she would take the hint and not call him Al, before gesturing idly with his hoof at the library, "This is quite the selection. Is there some sort of protocol revolving around withdrawing books?"

"Not at all, Albert." Twilight smiled before placing a small bag of coins at Wesker's feet. "What exactly are you interested in?" Wesker resisted the urge to roll his eyes, better than Al, he supposed.

"Enough to merit the use of one of Macintosh's carts" he remarked drily, "Which volumes would you recommend on the topics of Equestrian history, Pony biology and sociology and generic background knowledge on magic?"

Twilight looked momentarily overwhelmed before the keen intelligence that Wesker could see in her eyes forced her brain into action.

More like 'Sparked' it into action, right Al?

The purple unicorn delicately pressed her hoof against her temple, "Well, for history I recommend An Abridged History of Equestria." As expected, "Also, you should peruse 'The Legend of Nightmare Moon' and 'The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide', that should give you a pretty in-depth understanding of Equestrian history."

That was remarkably fast and it gave Wesker a fairly good idea of how she knew so, "I presume you've checked their providence personally, Miss Sparkle. How many notes will I find in the margins?"

Twilight blushed an impressive shade of red as she suddenly found her feet rather fascinating, "I... may have checked through them a couple of times, my studies are predominantly in magic but I just find history so fascinating."

Wesker angled his head to the side, "History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again." Where had that quote come from? Somehow it entirely evaded his mental acumen but it seemed unerringly appropriate considering his situation.

A soft smile spread across Twilight Sparkle's face, "That's a very intelligent quotation, I'll remember that one... do you know who said it?" Wesker shook his head; he was still pondering its significance as it had just sprung to him out of nowhere. Twilight then went on to list a series of books which would assist him with learning about the social structure of Pony society and about the variants of Pony: Unicorns, Pegasi and Earth Ponies, such as himself.

She paused when she got to the books about magic, "Sorry, I don't mean to be patronising but you do know that earth ponies can't do magic?"

Wesker gently raised an eyebrow, "It had come to my attention, I merely wish to gain knowledge about that which I am ignorant, I have no aspirations to become the first Earth pony wizard."

She looked sheepish, "That's what I thought." As she opened her mouth to continue, a knock at the door cut her off.

"Twiliiiiiight, it's Rarity; I'm here to return those books I borrowed." At these words, Spike, who had remained practically silent throughout the exchange between Wesker and Twilight, began preening and muttering to himself worriedly about wrinkles as he strode, strutted would probably be a more apt description, towards the door. Wesker had never seen the appeal of 'meeting new people', he was not a particularly social creature but now it appeared he had to continue to spout meaningless polite, small talk to yet another pony.

At least he had his books.

Albert Wesker, the Fashionista and the Flashback

A clearly enamoured Spike opened the door to a pure white unicorn with an expertly coiffed purple mane, breezing past the purple dragon whilst levitating two books in front of her as her horn glowed with a otherworldly aura. Magic in action, Wesker thought, it wasn't quite as groundbreaking and spectacular as he'd anticipated but perhaps telekinesis was a basic, entry level spell.

"Twilight, I must thank you for these excellent..." She stopped and gave Wesker a cursory greeting before taking in his appearance, mild approval at his mane degenerating to disgust at the state of his hooves, "I'm so sorry to interrupt, I'll only be a second." Wesker gave a slight nod, managing to avoid outwardly conveying his irritation, and gestured idly towards Twilight. "As I was saying, thank you so much for these excellent books, they gave me some wonderful new dressmaking ideas."

As the two chatted away, Wesker considered the newly arrived unicorn; a dressmaker? Wesker didn't really know how to feel about that, it seemed like such a frivolous waste of effort but then again, it was a living. Still, he had to question the provenance of such a business when not many ponies seemed to wear clothes. Another factor that instantly did not endear her to him was the fact that she reminded him wholeheartedly of the trophy wives exclusive to the higher ranking members of Umbrella and Tricell, wittering on to him about their latest handbag purchase and their borderline inbred, brattish children whilst he resisted the urge to unload his handgun into their face. Obviously he might have been acting unfairly, as he'd formed this judgement within around ten seconds but his instincts were seldom wrong.

After Twilight and Rarity had discussed the various beneficial points extolled in the returned texts, a subject which clearly intrigued Rarity far more than Twilight, the white unicorn allowed them to drop onto a side table, where they were allowed to rest for mere seconds before a flourishing Spike whisked them away and set off to return them to their rightful place.

With this, Rarity turned her attention back to Wesker, "Again, I'm terribly sorry about that. My name is Rarity; it is a pleasure to meet you, Mr...?"

For some pathetic reason, Wesker felt the urge to correct her with 'Dr' but managed to resist undertaking the passive aggressive swipe, mainly due to the fact that his doctorate meant very little when he was an equine, "Wesker, Albert Wesker." Time to see how correct his first impression was, "The pleasure is all mine, Lady Rarity." He heard the little dragon hiss almost imperceptibly but his attention was focused solely on the snow white unicorn and awaiting her reaction. Rather than preen and act as though this 'chivalry' was her god-given right, Rarity blushed a little and smiled coyly at Wesker. That was a promising sign, perhaps she wasn't as stuck up and insufferable as Wesker had assumed; that or his stunning good looks had rendered her dumbstruck.

I would assume it was the former, Albert.

"It's so rare that one meets a true gentlecolt in and around Ponyville." Wesker's keen ears caught an indignant grunt from Spike and this caused the corners of his mouth to turn upwards very slightly, "May I ask where you've joined us from?" The blond pony's keen mind had already anticipated the likelihood of a question along these lines, which made it all the more infuriating he'd have to resort to an unimpressive lie.

It would've been much easier, had he been able to study the geography of this world, to tailor his answer to claim he was from a far away land. As it was, he settled for: "I'm afraid that when I awoke in one of Miss Applejack's fields, I had no prior memories. All I know for sure is that I'm certainly not from around here."

Understatement of the century there, Al...

"My word!" Rarity exclaimed, "No memory of your life previous to a few days ago? How horrid."

Wesker raised an eyebrow, "If it was so easy to lose then I have to assume that it wasn't worth holding onto." He remarked drily, earning a titter from Twilight and a confused look from Rarity. Indeed, it was remarkable how easily it felt like he had shed the skin of his previous life, he felt like a phoenix, reformed from the ashes of death.

Remember that one Albert, I daresay it will come in handy for another dramatic monologue when your sanity entirely slips away.

Rarity then made an 'oh' sound as a thought occurred to her, "I should let Pinkie Pie know that there is someone new in town, she does love to meet new ponies." Wesker's mildly alarmed look elevated in severity when she added, "She'll probably round up everyone in Ponyville for a big party to welcome you."

Wesker's world famous unruffled demeanour was in danger of slipping as he nervously ran a hoof through his mane, "That really won't be necess..."

"Oh, don't be so modest, you deserve a little get together, how else will you meet everypony?" gushed Rarity, cutting across the flustered ex-STARS captain, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Albert." "I'm sure Pinkie Pie will let you know when and where her little soiree will be, I'm just off to have a little chat with her now. Thank you again for the books, Twilight. Toodleoo," With that, she breezed effortlessly out of the library, humming a little tune to herself as she left.

The adoring gaze of a certain purple dragon accompanied her every step of the way until the door slammed shut; He then turned his attention to Wesker, disturbing infatuation still visible in his eyes, "Isn't she wonderful?"

Wesker shrugged and spoke whilst casting a sidelong glance at Twilight, "I prefer the intellectual type myself." He finished this statement with a devilish grin at Miss Sparkle, feeling validated when she blushed a magnificent shade of red; he was a terrible pony, he just loved doing that.

"Erm...I...you... We were talking about books on magic, weren't we?" She managed to stammer out, god help him but Wesker recognised the reclusive, socially awkward library types when he saw them and she reminded him handily of the one person he'd ever called 'friend', William Birkin, when he'd first met him as a 17 year old boy. Being assigned as Wesker's lab partner had made Will... a bit more boisterous, Wesker chalked it up to the discoveries they were making at Umbrella boosting Birkin's self esteem, as well as the influence of his childhood sweetheart, Annette. Will tended to think differently.

June 1978, U.S.A.

"It's because you're a total ass, Al."

Wesker's nose wrinkled, "Whilst you do take every opportunity to say that, can you explain how it links in to what we were talking about this time?

Birkin paused in mock thought, "Well, aside from the fact that you need to be told it as often as physically possible...?" Wesker rolled his eyes as his fellow scientist continued, "It's because you are goddamn terrifying." Wesker smirked and pushed his sunglasses up to the bridge of his nose, causing Birkin to have his turn of eye rolling, "You're a bully, Al, if I kept acting the victim like I did a year ago, it'd never have ended, that's why I've changed so much since you met me."

"I'm not a bully." Wesker muttered indignantly, "I'm sharp witted."

"Yes." Said Birkin, like he was talking to a very small child, "And you use that sharp wit to bully people." He looked around conspiratorially, "I'm the only person in the whole research centre that isn't terrified of you, well besides Marcus, obviously but he's too busy paying attention to my amazing work to be scared of you."

Wesker took a sip of the Umbrella cafeteria's coffee with a grimace, "Clearly holding onto your lunch money is not high on your list of priorities, is it Will?" This caused Birkin to break into uncontrollable laughter and the sight of Will in hysterics caused a genuine smile to spread across Wesker's face, a sight which other Umbrella employees had a betting pool on, as to whether or not it actually existed.

Once Birkin had calmed down and wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes, he spoke up, "Hey, if we can get funding for a project of our very own then we'll have breakfast, lunch and dinner money everyday for the rest of our lives!"

Wesker delicately arched an eyebrow, "Never thought you were just in it for the money, Will."

Birkin waved a dismissive hand at his blond friend, "That's just the means to an end, we can achieve things previously thought impossible to science. We can..."

Wesker sighed as his friend rambled on, he didn't need another William Birkin monologue on how he was going to do so much groundbreaking scientific research that the world would bow down to him but the younger man's enthusiasm and ambition had a powerfully tangible effect on Albert Wesker, a man previously content with just becoming a head researcher at Umbrella. He distinctly remembered saying a silent thanks to Birkin as he gained control of the entire Umbrella database in 2003 and he believed that Birkin's attitude, and eventually memory, was the driving force behind all his actions from 1978 onwards. Until he found out about Spencer's manipulations...

Present Day, Equestria

Dead. Will was long dead. It was unusual of Wesker to reminisce and look back on events with any form of regret, he always had the internal drive to shrug off the events of the past, but all of a sudden, it felt like his only friend had died all over again. With the unexpected reminiscing that had just taken place, Wesker realised that he hadn't caught any of the titles that Twilight Sparkle had picked out for him on magic.

"I apologise, Miss Sparkle, my mind was somewhere else entirely, could you repeat the titles of the books?"

Twilight nodded with a faint smile but as she opened her mouth to respond , she was cut off by a fantastic crash which caused Wesker to take a cautionary step back as a pink blur flew through the library's front door shouting, "HEY TWILIGHT!" Wesker eventually realised that the pink blur was in fact a pink pony with a bouffant, darker pink mane and balloons as her cutie mark.

"Hey!" Ah, the pink blur was addressing him, "Ally, Pally, Wally, are you ready to PARTY?"

Albert Wesker and the Lightning Fast Appearance of the Party Animal

Wesker blinked once in the uncomfortable silence that followed, then twice, before trying to formulate words but sadly, his mouth and brain appeared to be having an inconvenient standoff. Speaking was made even more difficult by the intense stare he was receiving from the newly met Pinkie Pie.

"Well... I..." Luckily for Wesker, he was spared the embarrassment of stumbling over his words any further by an enthusiastic interruption from the pink pony:

"Of course you are Ally, it'll be super fun! You'll get to meet everypony and shake your groove thing! If you've just got here then you must not know anypony and my parties are the best way to get to know ponies." Wesker staggered back slightly in the face of such relentless energy, he supposed he might just be able to manoeuvre his way out of this situation but it would probably take a lot of effort.

Still, he could have a half-hearted attempt, "You really don't have to throw me a party, Miss Pinkie Pie, I am already quite settled."

Unfortunately, she reacted almost exactly as Wesker predicted, with a vast grin "I know I don't have to throw you a party, Ally, I want to! Even if you already knew anyone, I couldn't let you get away from experiencing one of my super fun parties!"

I like her, Al. Go to this party or I'll do this for the next week: LALALALALALALALALALA!

Wesker managed to avoid wincing and merely nodded, "That's very kind of you. When and where will you be holding this party?" The word still felt strange and alien coming off his tongue, it certainly wasn't a word he was accustomed to saying... or hearing for that matter.

Pinkie Pie beamed at Wesker before running him through the details, "It's at Sugarcube Corner at 3 in the afternoon tomorrow, don't worry about bringing anything, it's all taken care of. We're going to have so much fun! Hope you're ready to dance, Ally, if you're not then I'll make sure you are." She said the last line with a conspiritual wink at the bewildered Wesker before bouncing out of the library, presumably to prepare for the party that the blond pony was now dreading.

Twilight must have sensed his unease as she glanced amusedly over to Wesker, "I guess you're not much of a dancer, Albert?"

Wesker looked taken aback for a brief moment but recovered smoothly, "I happen to be an excellent dancer, dear heart; I'm just not a huge fan of 'partying'. I daresay you can sympathise with someone favouring pursuits of the mind over fun?" That was only partly true; he had been an excellent dancer when he was human, solely due to his focus on control but now he had four legs he was probably going to utterly humiliate himself.

Twilight gave a large smile that had been building from the near sub-conscious use of Wesker's pet name, "You sound just like me when I first got here, I was trying to learn about Nightmare Moon; I said that everypony in this town was crazy and their incessant friend-making was getting in the way of my research."

Wesker gently cocked his head with an elevated eyebrow, "I assume I've accepted my welcoming party in a far more genial manner than you did?"

Twilight giggled, "Pinkie Pie didn't even tell me she was preparing a party, she just gasped and flew off, and then when I got back to my new home, everypony in town was waiting for me."

Wesker snorted at the idea of Miss Pinkie trying such a trick with him, when the lights came on he'd probably have killed somepony on reflex, which would most assuredly put a dampener on the celebration. "You certainly live in a very interesting town, Miss Sparkle."

Twilight let out another small laugh, "Tell me about it" then her expression grew more serious, "But there's nowhere I'd rather live, this is the nicest place I've ever been and I have some great friends here."

Wesker nodded slowly before deciding to alter the subject as Big Macintosh would probably be passing back past the house soon. He angled his foreleg so that his hoof was gesturing towards the small mountain of books that Twilight had accumulated for him, "Shall we?"

The purple unicorn nodded once, "We shall." She then went on to list the final few volumes that Wesker would need to gain an acceptable (in his opinion) level of knowledge regarding magic. During the whole exchange between himself and Twilight, he noticed that Spike had been unusually quiet; he got the distinct impression that the purple dragon didn't trust him.

He's wise not to Albert, the rest of these ponies don't seem to realise what you're actually like. I'm sure they'll know soon enough...

More likely he resented what he viewed as Wesker flirting with the obvious target of his affections. Still, he wasn't about to make any effort to reconcile with Spike, he hadn't the time or the patience, or the ability to be diplomatic.

"So..." The little dragon had spoken up, perhaps Wesker had misjudged Spike's opinion of him, "You really can't remember anything before you got to Ponyville?" There was a healthy dose of curiosity in his tone, mixed with slight sympathy and maybe even suspicion, though Wesker's natural paranoia probably invented the last one.

Wesker nodded as a slight frown crossed his lips, to make it seem as though he were frustrated with his bout of amnesia, "I can only remember fragments of my life beforehand, nothing that I can form into anything coherent." Twilight nodded sympathetically while Spike silently puzzled over the word 'coherent'.' To Wesker's great surprise, he actually felt a small amount of guilt over this deception but he unintentionally justified the need to lie every time he attempted to formulate what he'd say when telling the truth. There was literally no way he could convey the nature of the human world and what his role had been in attempting to change it, all he would do is fail and convince them all he was insane and then life here would become infinitely more unpleasant. It was a necessary evil... though 'evil' was perhaps a bit strong considering he believed the word 'evil' to be a get out clause for ignorant moralists when confronted with something they couldn't comprehend.

He didn't know why he'd been reminiscing so much recently but he recalled writing an assignment when he was 14 on the concept of murder being justifiable due to the outmoded and ill-conceived morality system by which humanity abided. He'd been forced to see the school psychologist, a fact which rankled with him then and still did now. Still, he'd taken a great deal of pleasure from tormenting that psychologist, it was incredible how those who chose to try get inside others' heads had so much conflict within their own.

Sounds familiar does it not, Albert?

"Sorry to hear that, Al. We'll make sure you can create some awesome, new memories here in Ponyville!"

Once again ignoring the mutilation of his already hated first name, Wesker gave the purple dragon a surprised almost-smile, "I appreciate that very much, Spike." Well, he must have been very far off the mark with regards to Twilight's assistant. Perhaps the dragon had merely been sizing him up the whole time and had suddenly decided that he wasn't the enemy. Wesker could only agree with that sentiment, if he were the enemy then there was little chance that he would be chatting amicably in a library with his supposed opponent.

Just then, there was a knock at the door and Wesker hoped fervently that it was Big Macintosh, he wasn't sure he could cope with another meeting with one of Miss Sparkle's friends. Spike strolled over to the door and opened it up.

"Hey Big Macintosh, you here for Al?"

"Eeyup."

Spike turned back towards the library and snickered when he saw Wesker wobbling slightly under the weight of all the books he had borrowed, the blond maned pony did realise that there was no way he could transport these texts to the empty cart that Macintosh was pulling and keep his dignity at the same time.

"Need a hand with them there books, Mr Wesker, sir?" Barely concealed amusement punctuated every syllable of Big Macintosh's speech.

For a moment, Wesker considered declining the offer and proving that he was capable of transporting all these books by himself but then small spots of light began dancing in his vision and he decided that getting help was probably a good idea, "Yes, Macintosh. It appears that my idea of a little light reading is a lot heavier than I would have assumed." All present laughed at Wesker's little joke as they divided the weight of the books between themselves, he then turned to Twilight, "I thank you for all these books, Miss Sparkle rest assured that the knowledge within will not be wasted."

Twilight smiled once more at Wesker, "Not a problem, Albert. It's always nice to meet someone who appreciates the written word as much as I do."

Albert Wesker nodded once, "Indeed, I will make sure they are returned in perfect condition." Once the books had all been placed carefully in the cart, and Wesker had hitched himself to it, he turned towards Twilight, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Miss Sparkle." He paused briefly, "Though your accusation that I cannot dance will not be forgiven so soon."

Twilight laughed happily, "It was a pleasure to meet you too, Albert and I'm sure you'll prove me wrong at Pinkie Pie's party tomorrow."

She waved to him as he and Macintosh strode off into the distance, once they were out of earshot the large red pony, who had been watching this exchange with some interest, spoke to Wesker, "Looks to me like she's sweet on y'all, Mr Wesker."

Wesker once again raised a sole eyebrow, "Are you certain that she was not just being friendly? It appears to me like everyone else around here has been equally receptive to my arrival."

Big Macintosh shrugged, "I ain't saying that it's the case, I'm jus' saying that that's how I sees it." Wesker rubbed his chin thoughtfully, he didn't agree with Macintosh in this case but perhaps he was still used to Excella style interest, whereby it was impossible to be oblivious to it. Macintosh chose this hesitation to press his advantage, "So..." He began with a small smile, "What did ya think of Miss Twilight?"

Wesker sighed, Macintosh's behaviour reminded him very much so of Will's whenever a female scientist smiled at him or spoke to him or looked in his general direction. "She was very pleasant company, something I find myself lacking right now."

Big Macintosh guffawed, "Heh, Ah don't mean nothin' by it... but it seems t'me that I touched a nerve 'bout your intentions, I think the two of ya would go great together."

I prefer the pink one, Al but that's just me.

Wesker rolled his eyes, it made sense that the rumour mill would go into overdrive in a small little town like this, every male and female pony that talked to each other were probably seen to be a couple. "I have no intentions, Macintosh. I have books and I have a party I must suffer through, nothing more." The big red pony laughed again before shaking his head ruefully and walking on in silence. "I'm serious; I have no desire to romance Miss Sparkle. Not that she is necessarily interested in me either."

This too was met with silence and a smug grin, Wesker hated it when he rambled.

Albert Wesker and Cooking

Author's note: For those wondering why Applebloom isn't mentioning Wesker's cutie mark, she hasn't formed the CMC yet. :) Also, if you want to picture Wesker "inhaling deeply through his nostrils" and "sighing contentedly", think "Complete... Global... Saturation..." :P

Wesker treated cooking as any other scientific experiment, the parameters were easy to establish, the testing environment was about as static as he could manage and all aspects were totally under his control... in theory, at least. He'd returned home from his frankly exhausting book-carting journey and had slumped inelegantly into his bed (sofa) with a myriad of confusing thoughts brought about by Big Macintosh's gentle inquisition running through his mind but he assumed that he was highly suggestible due to tiredness.

Indeed, the idea of you caring about anyone other than yourself is ludicrous, Albert.

Quite, he'd learned very young that the only person you could truly have faith in is yourself. You know your own parameters, your own capabilities, your strengths and weaknesses; you know how you will react in any given situation. If there was one thing that Albert Wesker couldn't tolerate, it was unknowns.

Now he found himself in front of an incredibly hot oven, in charge of cooking both breakfast to wake up sleeping farm ponies and dinner for Applejack and Big Macintosh once they'd all returned from Wesker's welcoming party. He wasn't sure whether he preferred doing manual labour out on the fields or cooking indoors.

"Whatcha makin' Mr Wesker?"

Ah, there was the downside of having Applebloom flitting around him as he tried to create his patented oven-baked deep-dish apple pancakes; he'd accidentally woken her up as he crept down the stairs at an improbably early hour, he'd introduced himself briskly and apologised for waking her before telling her to go back to bed. An order which she'd processed and ultimately decided to ignore.

Wesker answered without turning his head from all the ingredients he needed, neatly arranged on the countertop, next to a pre-heated oven. "Pancakes"

Applebloom cocked her head to the side, "Didn't y'all have pancakes yesterday?"

Wesker closed his eyes briefly, "We did."

Curiosity burned in the young filly's eyes, "Aren't y'all afraid that Applejack and Big Macintosh will be bored by 'em?"

"No. These pancakes are different."

"How?"

Wesker allowed himself the ghost of a smirk as he turned his head slightly to face her, "These are better."

A wide smile broke across Applebloom's face, "Boy howdy, sounds like y'all think they're gonna be swell. How can I help?"

Wesker pondered this question and for a brief moment considered the possibility that Applejack had instructed her sister to sabotage his cooking in order to claim victory in their culinary contest before chalking this up to early morning insanity, his new body did not react as well to waking up early as his previous one had. "Indeed they will be, you can help by chopping these pecan nuts." He felt as though he needed to give a cursory warning in order to remove any responsibility as a guardian, "Be careful with the knife."

Applebloom nodded happily as Wesker slid the pile of nuts across the countertop in order to create a 'workspace' for the young pony, even if she did somehow manage to mess up chopping nuts, they weren't an essential part of the recipe and he could always leave them out; though he'd really prefer not to... "What'll y'all be doin', Mr Wesker?"

Wesker sighed, why couldn't children be more like how he was as a child? Quiet and insular.

Not to mention coldly calculating and utterly amoral, in case you forgot Albert.

He didn't want to reflect on the particular memories that fact brought up and so distracted himself by providing an answer to Applebloom's question. "I will be making the pancake batter and the topping as well as peeling, slicing and cooking these apples."

"That sounds like a lotta work, Mr Wesker."

Wesker's mouth twitched as he began mixing the eggs, milk and pancake mix together before adding a tablespoon of sugar, "Not if you know what you're doing."

Applebloom's tongue poked out between her teeth as she focused on slicing the pecans, "Do ya know what you're makin' for dinner yet?"

Wesker snorted mirthlessly, "One problem at a time. I suppose I'll be going into town to see what ingredients I can find before I experience one of Miss Pinkie Pie's 'world famous' parties. Then I'll cook up whatever I was inspired to create afterwards."

Applebloom peeked up from her attempt to set a world record for most carefully cut pecan nuts, "Y'all don't sound too excited 'bout your welcomin' party, Mr Wesker."

Wesker frowned contemplatively, "You could say that. I've never been the partying type."

Now it was Applebloom's turn to frown, "How'd y'all know?"

Wesker's eyebrow quirked upwards, "I beg your pardon?"

Applebloom had the decency to look mildly sheepish at her bluntness before pressing on, "Applejack told me y'all had no memory of your life before. How'd you know y'all weren't a party pony?"

Wesker was momentarily struck dumb by the young filly's perceptiveness before swiftly rectifying the situation, "Memories aren't always what define a pony's personality, Miss Applebloom, though I can still remember fragments. It just seems to be the case that I never enjoyed social gatherings, perhaps you are right though, I daresay I'll find out this afternoon." That was relatively well recovered, god forbid that he be unintentionally outmanoeuvred by an inquisitive child.

Applebloom nodded sagely, obviously glad to be conversed with on an equal level, "Must be awful t'have no memories, I'm mighty sorry."

The annoyingly persistent twinge of guilt that Wesker felt was quickly chased away by rationality as he nodded once, "That's kind of you to say, Miss Applebloom but not necessary, I am coping as well as I could have hoped." At least that wasn't an outright lie; he was coping with death and being resurrected as a talking pony far better than he ever imagined he would... not that becoming a talking pony had been a common chain of thought in his previous life.

Applebloom remained mercifully silent as Wesker mixed together some cinnamon and the remaining sugar in order to create the topping he would apply once he'd cooked the apples, sprinkled the pecans on top and then poured the batter over the resulting mixture. The cooking seemed to take on the simple flow that he was accustomed to, allowing his mind to wander as he ran on auto-pilot.

Isn't this better than being shot in the face with rocket launchers, Al?

Heh, he definitely couldn't argue that point, though he'd still never seen himself settling down into a simple wholesome life, he'd always seen such an existence as the reserve of the foolish and the unambitious.

Which one are you then, Albert?

It was incredibly obvious which one option he had leant more heavily towards, if he had to pick which one of the two flaws had defined him prior to his death. He'd barely even planned out his plan to become God of all he surveyed, the more he considered it, the more apocalyptically short-sighted he realised he had been. What would've happened to the world economy? How would he have united the disparate pockets of survivors? How would he crush the resistance of those who inevitably opposed him? Perhaps it was a good thing that he had failed, the difficulty of that operation would have destroyed his sanity just as surely as defeat to Redfield had.

During the course of his musings, Wesker finished off the preparation for his pancakes and added possibly the most meticulously chopped nuts in history to the mixture before placing it gently in the oven.

Wesker nodded in a vaguely satisfied manner, "Should be ready in around 20 minutes." He turned towards a beaming Applebloom, "Thank you for your help."

I'm sure I couldn't have coped without you, he thought sardonically.

The wide smile on the young filly grew even wider; a feat that Wesker didn't believe was physically possible. "Ain't nothin'. Ah'm happy t'help, anythin' else ya need?"

Wesker pondered this briefly before realising there was another favour he needed done, "Could you wake up Applejack and Big Macintosh?" He was tempted to wake up Applejack himself so that she could see his expression of smug superiority as her first sight of the day but Wesker figured that he valued his nether regions too highly to risk it, not to mention the fact that he was only half way to winning this competition... if that.

"Yes sir!" The little pony zipped up the stairs at a pace that Wesker would have envied when he was superhuman.

The corners of his mouth turned very slightly upwards when he heard Applejack cry out, "What in tarnation?" Followed by the unmistakable sound of an overly energetic filly bouncing on a bed. No doubt she was probably excited beyond words for her siblings sampling the pancakes that she 'helped make'. Eventually he heard the sound of hooves coming down the stairs, no doubt heralding the arrival of three hungry, expectant ponies.

It was Applejack's voice he heard first, unsurprisingly, "Boy howdy, that sure smells..." She walked into the kitchen and clocked Wesker's self-satisfied visage, "...satisfactory." She finished with a devilish grin.

Wesker returned the expression with a raised eyebrow, "I'm sure you can whip up something for yourself if it doesn't quite meet your standards." He inhaled deeply through his nostrils at the delicious scent of his pancakes and sighed contentedly, "It would be your loss though, Applejack."

Applejack's mouth twisted slightly, torn between annoyance and amusement... and hunger. She sat down at the table just as Big Macintosh arrived in the room with Applebloom riding on his back.

Applebloom seemed to be in fine spirits and it appeared to have rubbed off on Macintosh. The younger of the two was whooping and cheering as though competing in a rodeo whilst the elder was chuckling heartily.

Wesker removed the pancakes for the oven and split them evenly onto four plates before placing each one at a separate placemat on the table, "I believe this puts me halfway towards victory, dear Applejack."

The orange pony merely rolled her eyes in reply before diving into Wesker's pancakes, Applebloom and Big Macintosh followed suit. Applejack eventually saw fit to speak to Wesker, once the pancakes had been roundly demolished with a begrudging, "I'll bet y'all will mess up dinner somehow", causing Wesker to smirk evilly. "So what are y'all gonna do today? You got a while 'til we gotta go to Pinkie Pie's."

"I believe I shall be shopping for ingredients, I do wish to win in style."

Applejack hmph'd, "And ah thought ah was competitive."

Wesker snorted, "You started the contest, Miss Applejack, I am merely standing my ground." This evoked a snicker from Macintosh and a sigh from Applejack. "Now, I believe I will set off towards town and purchase the ingredients I need... then I suppose I shall read the books kindly leant to me by Miss Sparkle."

He didn't miss the conspiritual, knowing look exchanged between the large red pony and the orange, hat-wearing pony as he walked out of the kitchen and onto the dirt track outside. He felt the need to clarify the situation: "I have no interest in her whatsoever!"

The chuckles that permeated after him suggested that he was entirely unsuccessful in quelling their irritating theories.

Albert Wesker and Meeting an Incredibly Shy Pony

It was a pleasant enough day in the viewpoint of Albert Wesker, the sun was shining brightly and Wesker's finely tuned ears could hear the agreeable sound of birds chirping in the distance. No pulling a heavy iron plough, no having to dispute juvenile accusations with regards to his personal life and certainly no rogue B.O.W.'s to deal with. Therefore it was unusual, in Wesker's eyes, that he was so pessimistic about his upcoming welcoming party.

I'm not surprised, Al. You can be a real stick-in-the-mud. Lighten up, man!

Wesker hmph'd internally, what purpose did 'fun' serve? Even if he were more receptive to 'loosening up', he would dare to venture that his concept of fun varied wildly to what the hyperactive pony who planned this get-together would claim fun was. It wasn't really a word he had truly considered the meaning of, he had been so absorbed in his work and in his grand vision for the world that he'd considered anything outside either one to be a meaningless frivolity and left it at that.

But you don't have any 'grand project' anymore, Al. Just try and have fun, it's a party... The worst case scenario is still better than 95% of what's already happened to you.

True, the land of Equestria appeared to be a fairly peaceful, harmonious place; especially when compared to Earth, not to mention that he was only going to a party, the worst case scenario was probably getting a drink spilt over him and then proving himself to be sub-par at dancing with four legs. Hardly a life threatening situation, he admonished himself lightly.

Thus, it was with cautious optimism that Wesker set off to the market to peruse for ingredients which would ensure a crushing, culinary defeat over his orange, blond maned rival. Wesker also decided that due to the satchel that he had slung over his neck being relatively filled with bits, he would see if anything else on the market took his fancy. The former human felt he was entitled to some sort of luxury purchase in the midst of all this madness, though what form that took remained to be seen.

At the moment he was still on the path towards Ponyville town centre and was therefore still walking in seclusion and remained fully focused on admiring the peaceful countryside. Whilst it could never be said that Wesker had a romantic soul, he was still capable of appreciating an attractive view and the countryside on the outskirts of Ponyville could certainly be described as such. With his attention diverted elsewhere, however, he found himself taking his eyes away from the road and was therefore caught entirely unawares when he walked straight into another pony, who also appeared to be otherwise engaged.

An incredibly quiet voice uttered forth from Wesker's abruptly met acquaintance, so much so that Wesker had to crane his neck to hear the single word, "Ouch."

Wesker was annoyed with the occurrence but it was primarily directed inwards due to his vacant mindset at the time. He had never been one to let his mind wander when there were tasks to be accomplished but not only had he been admiring the scenery, he hadn't even noticed another pony until he'd walked directly into her. What on earth was this place doing to him?

Wesker surveyed the pony he'd accidentally walked into; she appeared to have been static at the time, looking after... bunnies? She was a pegasus pony with a yellow coat and a pink mane, which was swept over one eye and she was currently looking at Wesker with a combination of shyness and fear, with apologetic regret written all over her face.

She didn't seem inclined to speak any time soon, so Wesker decided to break the silence, "I apologise, Miss. My mind was somewhere else entirely; I trust you are all right?" A small noise issued from the mouth of the yellow pony, one which Wesker decided he was incapable of deciphering, "I'm sorry Miss, I didn't quite catch that."

As the pink maned pony looked everywhere other than Wesker, she made a small squeaking noise that Wesker considered to be more akin to a mouse than a pony. In an attempt to break the awkwardness, the blond pony looked down at the numerous rabbits that were being cared for...

Hey Al, I swear that white one just rolled his eyes and shrugged at you.

That was what his eyes told him but his brain had dismissed this as an obvious symptom of concussion. Still, perhaps she would respond a little more... vocally to a conversation about her pets. "I hope I didn't startle your rabbits."

Wesker felt a small sense of accomplishment as the pony finally spoke more than one word that he could hear, though only just, "Oh, it's okay. Angel and his friends are pretty tough." The aforementioned white rabbit winked at Wesker as the latter wondered if his mind had finally collapsed in on itself. She paused and looked like she was struggling to continue talking but somehow she persevered, " I know you didn't mean to walk into me... I should have been more aware of what was around me."

Wesker arched an eyebrow, "It was my fault, I was moving and you were still. May I ask you your name, Miss...?"

"Fluttershy" It was unusual that she faced away from Wesker whilst telling him her name so that he had to lean inwards in order to catch it, though the blond pony chalked it up to the fact that she appeared to rather neatly match her name. He'd never met anyone so cripplingly shy in his life.

"A pleasure, Miss Fluttershy" Wesker said cordially, "I am Albert Wesker. If you are headed into town then I'd be happy to accompany you." Fluttershy nodded once and gently encouraged the bunnies other than Angel to go play, which they promptly did. It was at this point that Wesker noted the yellow pony's butterfly cutie mark and he came to the conclusion that her 'special talent' had something to do with animals. He also kept a careful eye on the unnaturally intelligent rabbit that Fluttershy referred to as 'Angel', he wasn't one to let a potential unknown catch him off-guard.

"I think Applejack mentioned you, Albert." Wesker appreciated Fluttershy's attempt to make conversation as they walked towards the Ponyville town centre, it didn't appear that she made much small talk with newly met ponies... and he was hardly the most social of creatures.

"Indeed?" Wesker queried, "All positive, I assume?"

Fluttershy blanched, "O... of course. She s... said that you were a nice, hard-working pony."

Wesker smirked evilly at the yellow pegasus' reaction and at the thought of the contest he and Applejack had going on, "Really, Miss Fluttershy? That's all she had to say?"

Fluttershy hid behind a veil of pink as she stared awkwardly down at the ground, her hooves tracing small circles on the ground, "Oh... She might also have mentioned that you had a 'wicked smile' and that you'd 'face down 5 manticores and a dragon just to meet a challenge.'"

Wesker snorted amusedly, "She seems to have got the measure of me fairly rapidly." An amusing thought occurred to him, could he make this pegasus cringe like he did with Will when he first met him? "What do you think of me, though, Miss Fluttershy?"

As expected, the pink maned pony blushed furiously and began examining her hooves, "I... I... You... s... seem nice?" She managed to stutter out.

Wesker put on a front of mock offence, "I seem nice? Having doubts about me, are you?"

The mortified pony attempted to stammer about an apology before Wesker sighed, she was far beyond the timidity of even the young Birkin; she was probably going to burst a blood vessel if he kept this up. "Calm yourself, Miss Fluttershy, I was only teasing, I wouldn't have expected you to have formed a conclusive judgement on me after a matter of minutes."

Fluttershy sighed with relief and slowly returned to her original colouration, "I'm sorry, Pinkie Pie always says I should learn more about jokes and pranks."

Wesker made a face, "Having met her, I'm not surprised that she says that."

Fluttershy giggled shyly, "She does love to have fun, doesn't she?"

Wesker's lips twitched as he turned to face the pegasus pony, "She certainly does, I believe she's organised a welcome party for me at 3pm today."

Fluttershy nodded, a small smile playing about her lips also, "Yes. She says that you get to have the dance floor all to yourself for the first hour."

Wesker stopped dead, panic playing across his usually cool features, "She said that?"

Fluttershy giggled before looking at Wesker in a puzzled fashion, "Was that teasing? Did I do it right?" She looked once at Wesker's vacant expression before pawing lightly at the ground, "Sorry if I upset you."

Wesker let out a sigh of relief before shaking his head disbelievingly, "A good first attempt, Miss Fluttershy but you still have a lot to learn..."

Albert Wesker and the Luxury Purchase

Fluttershy was never going to win awards for her social skill Wesker pondered but then... neither was he. She was affable enough company for the blond pony's liking and had an ability which seemed to evade many of Ponyville's citizens, the ability to not speak incessantly. That isn't to say that they spent the entire journey in complete silence, Wesker made the obligatory small talk and was able to confirm that his theory surrounding the pink-maned pegasus' cutie mark was correct. He also found out that Fluttershy was close friends with a few of the ponies he had met already, Applejack and Pinkie Pie of course but also Twilight and Rarity. She also made a reference to another pegasus called 'Rainbow Dash', who Wesker needed to keep an eye out for, from the sound of her escapades.

Eventually, Wesker and his companion reached Ponyville's town centre, a pleasant enough sprawl of market stands and charming homes. Fluttershy bade farewell as she passed the spa, apparently her and Rarity met there regularly to catch up. "It was nice to meet you, Albert. Have a nice day."

Wesker inclined his head politely, "The same to yourself, Miss Fluttershy, I shall see you later today." She gave a small smile and with that exited into the spa, a building which Wesker felt catered far too readily for the idle and those with too much money lining their pockets but he couldn't begrudge her a little relaxation, it seemed to him as though she was a mildly stressful situation away from a heart attack at all times.

Perhaps you should join her, Albert. It appears to me that you are one stressful situation away from transforming yourself into a monster and trying to drag your rivals into lava.

Wesker sighed, he felt he probably deserved that, his questionable sanity during the last few years of his previous life still irked him. He had seen the fates of Sergei, Birkin and countless others who had lost their minds to the machinations of Spencer and Umbrella as a whole and promised himself that he would never lose control of his ice cold grip on reality, a promise he'd ultimately failed to keep... spectacularly. It was all in the past now, Wesker thought, he was 'back to normal' for want of a better expression and would never allow himself to be consumed with megalomania again... at least, no more than his personality naturally demanded.

A noble goal, Albert, let's see how long you manage to adhere to it before you break... again.

Wesker ignored the persistent Critical and ambled around the market in the fine, spring weather, this certainly beat pulling a plough into a distant second place. The weak glare of the early morning sun in his eyes was irritating, certainly, but it was undoubtedly better than having to walk into it whilst lugging a lump of iron behind him.

Eventually Wesker found the stall which gave him a bolt of culinary inspiration, run by a pony with carrots as her cutie mark. He could create some sort of carrot dish, it fitted the simple sensibilities of the Apple family but they were just versatile enough for Wesker to innovate with his creation.

The price of all the carrots that Wesker bought came to around 4 bits, he wasn't sure enough about Equestria's currency to attempt to bargain so he cordially exchanged them for the orange, root vegetables before tucking them away in the satchel by his side with an air of self-satisfaction. A second bolt of inspiration arrived, hot on the heels of the last. Carrots Vichy! Perfection... at least they would be under his expert care, then Applejack would acknowledge his superiority and then...

Hahaha! Al, you're not used to things being short term and just for fun are you?

Wesker blinked, there was that infernal word again; he supposed the cooking competition he and Applejack had devised was fun, it certainly sparked the competitiveness within him. Furthermore, it was indeed short-term, he didn't stand to properly gain anything from this affair, other than pride and he already had an ample supply of that. He shrugged off his musing, he had picked up an annoying tendency to introspect recently and it was causing him to doubt his previous actions and mindset, something which he had never been inclined to do. The past was the past, all that mattered was the present... and usually the future, but he was starting to feel that wasn't the case in Equestria.

The sun peeking out from behind Rarity's boutique disrupted his current thought process once more and he gritted his teeth. He wasn't super-sensitive to light anymore but the brightness still served to remind him of the laboratory accident when he was 15 which had damaged his eyes and caused corneal abrasion. He'd had to wear sunglasses every waking hour, a fact which hadn't duly bothered him as he didn't care what others had thought of him constantly wearing sunglasses, though it was a minor inconvenience. Of course, his rebirth after the Arklay incident heralded the complete renovation of his eyesight but he'd still worn his now trademark eyewear out of habit and due to his serpentine pupils; the irony had not been lost on him.

You did find it funny, Al. Just... no-one could tell.

As though summoned by his thoughts, a female stall owning pony with jet-black hair noticed his cutie mark and waved him towards her, he arched an eyebrow but decided to stroll over, he still had a lot of time to kill until Pinkie Pie's not-so formal soiree.

Wesker's confusion was well hidden and he politely begun speaking, "Good morning Miss, what is it you require?"

The stall owner smiled politely as her eyes flicked down to Wesker's cutie mark again, "Sorry to bother you sir, I don't suppose you're in the market for a pair of sunglasses are you? It's just that, well, I have a pair here that I've been trying to sell for a while and I thought, what with your cutie mark and all..." She let the sentence trail off, point firmly made.

Wesker grazed a hoof across his chin in contemplation, mildly affronted that ponies seemed to think that his 'special talent' appeared to be just wearing sunglasses. "May I see them?" The stall owner's smile widened in gratitude as she dug around on her side of the wooden structure, allowing Wesker to look around the stall he'd been summoned to, it appeared that she sold accessories. Pony watches, pony hats... pony sunglasses too, it appeared. Eventually, she unearthed the elusive glasses and held them up for Wesker's evaluation. The blond pony's eyes widened and he had to hold back a very uncharacteristic gasp; they were practically identical to the sunglasses he'd worn for most of his life, unfortunately his shock appeared to have been registered by the stall owner and she attempted to press the advantage.

"You like 'em, huh? Only 3 bits and they're all yours."

Wesker arched an eyebrow imperiously, "Correct me if I'm wrong, Miss but I believe you told me that you had been 'trying to sell them for a while'?" She nodded, slight frown on her lips at the minor slip-up she had made. "I'll give you 2 bits for them."

The black haired pony made several noises of contemplation before nodding reluctantly, "You sure do drive a hard bargain, sir."

Wesker smirked wryly as he fished into his bag to retrieve her payment, "I am famed for it, Miss." He slipped the sunglasses straight on as soon as they had been handed over by the lightly chuckling female pony.

Completion, it felt odd to see the world the world through a slightly darkened haze again but it also felt as though he had restored some key part of himself that he had lost when discarding the eyewear during the fight with Chris and his partner on the ship. Furthermore, he didn't feel as though this part of him was a danger to himself or others, it was like a calm assurance in his own mind that couldn't be shaken.

Unfortunately, the black-maned pony didn't appear to appreciate the significance of the moment as she merely smiled at Wesker before adding, "Thank you very much, sir. Enjoy your new glasses."

Wesker turned back as he walked off, surveying the stall owner from over the top of the lenses as a light smirk graced his features, "My pleasure, dear heart. I certainly will." His smirk grew as he saw the sheepish grin and light blush spread across her face before he turned back and walked towards a stall which sold herbs and spices. He was still in a positive mood once he'd paid for the thyme he was going to use to season his, undoubtedly soon-to-be, superb carrot dish. He now he had around 4 and a half hours until Pinkie Pie's party and he'd completed all his essential (relatively speaking) tasks for the morning.

Luckily, he had brought a few of Miss Twlight's books with him and removed one from his bag whilst settling down under the shade of a tree, humming contentedly at the familiar feel of his sunglasses shifting slightly down his nose at the movement. As he opened 'An Abridged History of Equestria', he realised that it was very difficult to read the words with his sunglasses on, as he had previously been attuned to the brighter environment.

Wesker sighed as he took the glasses off and settled them down on the grass next to him; practicality had no respect for the significance of his prized eyewear...

Albert Wesker and the Party, Part I

Author's note: The date of Sherry's sixth birthday that I've used here is actually my date of birth. Also, I've always seen Wesker as having a sense of humour; it's just a little dark, as well as sarcastic and subtle.

It was an enjoyable manner in which to whittle away a few hours; Wesker had always enjoyed non-fictional reading material and 'An Abridged History of Equestria' proved to be no exception. The title was perhaps deceptive as its use of the term 'abridged' was probably only considered appropriate from the vantage of the academic who penned it; it was certainly a weighty tome. Wesker had learned a great deal about the composition of Equestria, both geographically and in terms of the outlook and history of some of its most eminent citizens. Conversely, the text had been fairly sketchy in its mention of 'Nightmare Moon' and the 'Elements of Harmony', partially understandable due to the 1000 year gap between the events and the publication of said book. One particular subject, however, had piqued his interest even further than the last two; this was the mention of the 'Goddess', Princess Celestia. Apparently both her and her sister, Luna, had been responsible for the raising of the sun and the lowering of the moon respectively, once Luna had attempted to rebel against her sister, the elder had banished her to the moon and taken responsibility for both solar and lunar movements. Wesker had assumed it to be a fairy tale, used to both glorify royalty and explain away concepts which were far beyond their medieval understanding.

What had truly astounded him was both the fact that this 'Princess Celestia' was still alive and that the book spoke as though she was certainly responsible for cosmic occurrences. His dual-fold theories that all females in the particular royal bloodline were known as Celestia and that somehow technology and modern opinion had somehow been forcibly stagnated for 1000 years were both refuted later on in the text and he was compelled to confront the possibility that there really was a goddess in amidst this madness.

A real deity Albert, isn't that deliciously ironic? That you should fail in your quest to become a God and find one in the afterlife?

It couldn't be true, so soon after he'd accepted that perhaps he'd overreached the bounds of his capabilities... now he was being forced to witness this almighty being who represented all that he had failed to accomplish. Who was born superior, had ultimate power whilst ruling all she surveyed and yet apparently acted with wisdom and benevolence at all times, it was infuriating.

Ultimately, he dismissed it; it would only serve to antagonise him until he was able to produce concrete assertions on what exactly this 'Celestia' was. Another item to be neatly sort into the 'save for later' folder, as it were. He would question Miss Sparkle about Celestia; the worn pages and occasional, indecipherable jottings proved that the purple unicorn had read this book thoroughly, so she would at the very least have a basic level understanding that he could use to compliment his own. Snapping the now-finished book closed, he glanced up at large clock in the town square.

2:30. Not very long at all now until Pinkie Pie's party, so he supposed there was no chance of him being able to avoid it... not that he necessarily wanted to. There would be free food, no doubt, and a chance to prove his dancing ability, he just had to endure a series of benign conversations and new people to meet... ultimately, he would probably be glad when it ended but he could still attempt to enjoy the aspects that he didn't outright loathe.

That's positive thinking, Al! At least, for you it is...

Well, he was still Albert Wesker; he was hardly going to turn up with a big grin and one of those ridiculous hats that you could drink beer out of... though he doubted that this party involved alcohol of any form, especially with the 3pm start. Unless, of course, he had severely misjudged the citizens of Ponyville. The slow and leisurely walk to Sugarcube Corner, a location which Fluttershy had given Wesker directions to during their stroll together, took around 20 minutes so he was slightly early for his welcoming party, which was probably the polite thing to do anyway.

He could hear a few ponies chattering away happily as he took a deep breath and prepared to knock on the door. He rapped three times and barely had time to blink before the door flew open and Pinkie Pie stood in the frame with an exuberant grin plastered across her face, "Ally! The star of the party's here, I'm so glad you came; I like your glasses by the way. Oh, it's going to be so much fun. Sorry the door was closed, normally I leave it open so that ponies can get in whenever they want but I totally forgot!"

Wesker flinched slightly at the verbal onslaught before mentally shaking himself and replying, "I am sure I would have heard from you had I missed it."He looked around the room as she giggled, obviously everyone wasn't here yet but there was still around a dozen ponies ambling around the surprisingly large Sugarcube Corner, which had been decorated with balloons of various colours (some pink) as well as streamers (mainly pink) and various banners which read 'Welcome Al' (solely pink). Why did people insist on calling him Al? He had never introduced himself as such and yet it seemed individuals were falling over themselves to butcher his Christian name, which he already detested. Will had done it because he knew how much Wesker hated it but everyone else should really know better; he'd never been one to care for social trivialities though and had never said anything about the subject.

"Of course, Ally, I'd have dragged you all the way here but it would have made my legs tired, I'm glad you decided to walk here yourself."

Wesker snorted, "As am I, Miss Pinkie." He surveyed the room once more, there were several tables laden with party food and punch, not to mention some sort of tail-pinning game on the wall opposite and a few feet to the right of that was an enormous chocolate cake which Wesker assumed was the centrepiece for his welcoming celebration. He turned to the pink pony with one eyebrow raised, "Exactly how many ponies are coming here?"

Pinkie looked at him incredulously before giggling, "Well, I invited everypony in town, silly! Everypony in Ponyville wants to be friends with you; my parties just make it easier for them and you."

He supposed that made sense, at least he could cram all this pointless social interaction into a small time period, rather than stretching it out over weeks, months or even years. There was a minor point which occupied his mind currently, though, "Will there be enough room to fit in all the ponies in town?"

Pinkie Pie looked blankly at Wesker for a moment before another wide grin spread across her face, "Of course, Ally, I've had tons of parties here before, you need to stop being such a worrying worrypants."

Interesting choice of words, he pondered, "Duly noted, Miss Pinkie."

The pink pony beamed sunnily at Wesker before she appeared to recall something, her mouth making a little 'o' of remembrance, "There's someone I want you to meet, Ally." With that she hooked her front leg around Wesker's and whisked him off towards the punch table where a cyan pegasus with a multi-coloured mane and a lightning bolt cutie was awaiting, sipping on a beverage.

Whilst he was in forced transit, Wesker tried to recall the last time he went to a party that wasn't unbearably formal... and recollection hit him with a great deal of force.

July 2nd 1992, U.S.A

"Happy Birthday Sherry! Blow out the candles and make a wish."

Wesker joined the various other friends and acquaintances of William Birkin and his daughter in (in his case) half-hearted applause. He lightly sipped the rich red wine he was drinking as Will congratulated his daughter on blowing out the candles first time.

Wesker was bored, William had forced him to come straight to this party slash barbeque from work and the younger scientist had been so relentless and dogged in his insistence that Wesker had eventually caved. The tall, blond had never enjoyed parties and he'd certainly never enjoyed children's parties, he supposed he should be grateful that Birkin hadn't forced him to drink soda and sing 'Happy Birthday' with them. He tuned back into the conversation that Will was sharing with his daughter as Annette looked over at the pair of them lovingly.

It was Will who was currently talking as his daughter flushed gently from all the attention, "Good job sweetie, what'd you wish for?"

"Come on Will, it won't come true if she tells you." Annette scolded gently,

Birkin winked roguishly at his wife, "Of course it will, honey." He turned back to the 6 year old girl, "What was it you wished for, Sherry?"

Sherry chewed on her fingernails anxiously as she tried to summon the words she wanted, then she looked directly at Wesker, "I wished for Uncle Albert to have fun and to dance with everyone else." Wesker froze as everyone present began chuckling affectionately at the sweet wish, he took another sip as his eyes widened in horror behind his mirrored shades. Why did people always seem to think that he needed to have fun all the time? Lab reports were fun enough for his mentality; he certainly didn't need to prance about like a fool.

Birkin laughed out loud as he ruffled Sherry's hair, "Well, sweetie, the birthday girl will get her wish, won't she, Uncle Albert?" Wesker had to resist the urge to bare his teeth at Will's smug expression as every pair of eyes in the garden, child and adult, turned towards the intimidating man in a black polo neck with black trousers, his white lab coat discarded somewhere inside Will's home.

Wesker took another sip to delay answering before facing reality, "I'm already having fun, William. And I certainly do not need to dance to increase that 'fun'.

Almost everyone present let out a disappointed sigh as Birkin's smile grew at his lab partner's obvious discomfort, "Uh uh uh, Al. The birthday girl has spoken; when the music comes on... you're dancing. You know why?" His tone brooked no further argument and Wesker rolled his eyes behind his glasses, sometimes he felt he had allowed Birkin to influence him in a manner which evaded every other human being.

"Do share, Will."

"Because I'm in charge of the barbeque and I know you haven't had anything to eat today." Light hearted chortles permeated around the garden at Birkin's manoeuvring.

Wesker smirked as his stomach reminded him of his hunger before he raised his wine glass skywards and inclined his head towards Will, "It appears you win this round, Birkin." Quiet cheers erupted from the gathered populace of the garden and Will returned his friend's smirk before kissing the top of his daughter's head and strolling off towards the barbeque.

Unbeknownst to Birkin, Wesker had already formulated a plan as to how he could keep his friend happy whilst not having to actually dance. It was a mutually satisfying arrangement, but he wouldn't have to worry about it for a couple of hours. He glanced around the garden, the primary audience appeared to be couples with young children like Annette and William Birkin, there were only a few fellow Umbrella employees and, unlike Wesker, they had appeared to be disinclined to talk about work whilst they were here, so Wesker had withdrawn and had hoped to stay unnoticed the entire party... It had been going well, up until Sherry's wish, which Wesker suspected as having her father's hand behind it.

The next couple of hours passed slowly for Albert Wesker, lost in a creeping haze of menial conversations, delicious burgers (which were handed over knowingly by Birkin) and glasses of red wine. Eventually, Annette stood by the stereo which had been placed outside and announced that the time to dance had arrived; knowing that every eye was on him, he put his scheme into action.

He strolled up to the birthday girl, who was chatting with friends her age, and held out his hand, his slight amusement at the absurdity of the situation present in his deep voice, "I believe I owe you a dance, Miss Birkin." The young girl giggled and placed her small hand in Wesker's much larger one. Instructing her to stand on his feet, Wesker began swaying and stepping in time with the music coming from the radio as Sherry's laughter threatened to drown it out.

She looked up at him in awe, "You must be the coolest adult ever, Uncle Albert."

Wesker looked over to where Will and Annette were watching them, bemusement and humour written all across their faces, "I believe you may be right, Sherry."

They 'danced' like that for around 15 minutes before Will's energetic nature encouraged him to take Wesker's place, clapping a hand on his friend's shoulder as he set out to do so, "Thanks Al." He said quietly before turning to Sherry with an exaggerated bow, "May I, Sherry?" She giggled again, nodded and then unexpectedly flung herself into a hug with Wesker, which he awkwardly returned once his shock had subsided.

As she clung to him, Wesker whispered something which he hadn't necessarily intended her to hear, "You're lucky to have parents who love you so much, Sherry."

Sherry smiled up at him once she'd let go, "I know Uncle Albert." Wesker had nodded and with that, both her and her father had shot off, the pair of them giggling all the way

He drained the rest of the crimson liquid in his glass and looked pensively around the bustling garden as he set off towards a nearby bottle. He supposed, as far as parties went, it could have far worse.

Albert Wesker and the Party, Part II

Once he'd shaken off the slightly dizzying effect of the memory of Sherry Birkin's 6th birthday appearing unbidden at the forefront of his consciousness, Wesker found himself face to face with who he assumed to be 'Rainbow Dash', judging by her coloration.

She also appeared to have been speaking, and noticed Wesker's sudden snap back to reality while waving a hoof in front of his eyes. "Hello? Anypony in there?"

Wesker shook himself. "Apologies, Miss Dash, my mind was still in the book I was reading earlier." The lie slipped easily from his lips; he certainly knew how to act the part of the amnesiac, it seemed.

"Heard of me, huh?" Rainbow Dash preened slightly, Wesker's vacuous spell forgotten. "The fame of the coolest, fastest pony in Ponyville is spreading. Where you from? How far has the legend of Rainbow Dash travelled?"

Wesker arched an eyebrow. She hadn't even asked him his name... and people had the tenacity to call him arrogant. "I'm afraid that I awoke in Ponyville two days ago without any memory of my life prior. Miss Fluttershy told me about you." Wesker couldn't help but feel a sense of smug accomplishment as the cyan Pegasus deflated slightly, but carefully marshalled his features to avoid betraying this. The first impression he must have given to Rainbow had already been pretty poor, and he didn't need to compound that by laughing at her damaged ego.

"Oh," Rainbow Dash paused before ploughing on. "Well, it's only a matter of time, right? Liking the shades, Al, you're almost as cool as me."

Wesker failed to bite back the scathing retort his mind had lined up. "Indeed, Miss Dash, though isn't it generally considered 'cool' to be fashionably late?"

Rather than respond with jocularity at Wesker's retort, as he had somewhat expected, Rainbow flushed. "Well... erm..." Wesker raised an eyebrow at her stumbling over words. "Ya know... I was thirsty." She immediately took a large sip of punch, as if to prove her point, prompting another arched eyebrow from Wesker.

It was at that moment that he realized who she inexorably reminded him of: Joseph Frost. The Alpha Team S.T.A.R.S. member had seemingly been on a one man mission to be seen as 'cool' and had relentlessly pursued this goal, the bandanna being the most visible result. Wesker had assumed Frost was trying to impress Jill Valentine, but ultimately the captain of S.T.A.R.S. had known only one thing: he had loathed Joseph Frost with a fiery passion.

The sound of his dying throes had brought Wesker a great deal of savage pleasure. The man was a Neanderthal and only Brad Vickers' cowardice prevented Frost from being his most hated underling. He respected bravery as much as he detested cowardice, but bone-headed obliviousness was NOT what he would consider 'brave', and trying to elevate yourself above your peers via gimmicks and so-called 'charisma' rather than hard work and intellectualism… It made Wesker's blood boil.

Perhaps he was being unfair again. He had admittedly misjudged both Rarity and Spike, and there was a chance that this Rainbow Dash was not an arrogant, attention-seeking ignorant.

But judging by her endless posturing, he had his doubts.

The subject on his musings was leaning casually against the punch table, still sipping thoughtfully on her beverage through a straw. "So, you can't remember anything about who you were before?"

The blond pony shook his head, annoyance bubbling just below the surface. "Only my name."

To Wesker's shock, her features twisted into those of suspicion. "Nothing at all? Not your home town? The names of your friends back where you live?"

His jaw clenched. Was she deliberately trying to antagonize him? Pinkie Pie had bounced off amongst the various early-arriving party ponies and he was unable to use her to divert Rainbow Dash's relentless inquisition.

"No. I don't remember anything."

Rainbow cocked her head to the side and looked sidelong at the increasingly vexed ex-human. "Huh. Sorry to hear that Al, I guess."

Not only did she not sound particularly sorry, Wesker could also still sense a great deal of skeptical cynicism radiating from the cyan Pegasus. Were the circumstances different, he would assume that she had seen through his facade, but as it was he knew that she was merely being obstinate for no obvious reason.

It was starting to rankle.

Luckily, he was saved what would no doubt have been an infuriating reply by the steady trickle of guests arriving and a certain pink whirlwind bounding over towards him. "Aren't you excited, Ally? They're all here to see you... and to come to my party... but mainly to see you!"

The foul mood that had settled over Wesker dissipated slightly at Pinkie's enthusiasm, but he was acutely aware of the situation. The cyan pegasus did not trust him, and for his part, he hated everything she represented.

Hmm, hardly a match made in heaven, Al. Just try not to deliberately antagonize her, you tend to do that sometimes. Besides, how can you hate someone for being arrogant?

Wesker snorted internally. He had earned his arrogance! As for deliberately antagonizing others, that might be true, though they usually irritated him first and were unable to cope when he retaliated. Even so, he conceded the point: it would not do to make an enemy out of this Rainbow Dash, if only for convenience's sake. Avoiding her would probably the most prudent strategy. Wesker had terrorised Joseph Frost whilst he was captain of S.T.A.R.S. and it had been one of his most enjoyed activities. The temptation of allowing history to repeat itself would probably be too strong if he spent this party in her company.

He replied to Pinkie Pie with the barest hint of a smirk twisting his lips. "I can barely contain myself, Miss Pinkie."

"That's the spirit, Ally!"

Sarcasm was clearly lost on this pony, Wesker thought distastefully.

Though judging by the slight narrowing of Rainbow Dash's eyes, it had not gone entirely unrecognized. Perhaps avoiding her would be more difficult than he had anticipated.

She chose that moment to chip in. "Yeah, it's nice that Pinkie worked so hard to set up this party just for you, isn't it, Al?" The carefully disguised annoyance at Wesker's perceived rudeness did not pass by unnoticed by him.

Wesker's temper was bubbling. To associate sarcasm with ungratefulness was just stupidity, plain and simple… and he had no time for cretins. Somehow, he kept his tone even. "Indeed, I am most grateful to you, Miss Pinkie. It is impressive how rapidly you managed to organize this get-together."

Pinkie laughed. "No problem, Ally. I'm a party whiz; it was no problem at all." She paused briefly. "But this isn't a get-together, Ally, this is a PARTY!" Rainbow Dash laughed as Wesker's mouth twitched. Then, suddenly Pinkie's attention snapped to the doorway. "Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, you're all here!"

Wesker's eyes turned to face the direction of the newly arrived guests. Indeed, there they all were, along with most of the town's populace, it appeared. Wesker hoped he wouldn't have to give a speech to the assembled guests – he suspected Miss Dash would scrutinize every syllable that issued forth, and he was in a bad enough mood as it was.

It was Applejack who spoke first. "Darn tootin', Pinkie, couldn't miss one of your parties!" She gestured towards Wesker. "'specially when it's for our new pal here." Her fellow arrivals made noises of agreement, and then her smile turned mischievous. "Besides, I wanted to see Al's famous dancin'. Twilight said that he sure had a high opinion of it."

Wesker trained his gaze on the purple unicorn as she grinned sheepishly. "Did she now?"

Applejack nodded. "Sure did, partner, seems to me that you should be dancin' all night long with that kind of skill."

Panic briefly set inside the former S.T.A.R.S. captain before he grabbed hold of his get-out clause. "I'm afraid I can't overexert myself. I have to be fully alert for the conclusion of my culinary victory." He tapped a hoof against the side of the satchel he was carrying, "The meal will not be perfect if I am exhausted." Applejack rolled her eyes, whilst Twilight looked... disappointed? Perhaps his boasting had made her believe that he was some sort of dancing visionary and that he was going to unleash Equestria's greatest performance on the Sugarcube Corner dance floor. Rarity and Fluttershy looked relatively unaffected by the 'revelation'. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, however, both were wearing expressions that caused Wesker no small amount of unease. The former looked as though the bottom had fallen out of her world. Her bottom lip trembled as she looked beseechingly at Wesker, eyes wide as saucers.

Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, had evidently sensed the blond pony's severe discomfort and saw an opportunity to undermine him without appearing cruel or unfriendly. "Come on, Al." Her tone was light-hearted, but it didn't disarm his wariness. "You wouldn't want Pinkie to think that you're not enjoying her party, right? That meal you're cooking won't try and escape from you if you're a little tired."

Wesker went to refuse, but Pinkie made a strange whimpering noise and it died in his throat. "I... may be able to find the time to dance briefly."

Joyous grins spread across the faces of the sextet whose company he was in, including Rainbow – though he could have sworn that hers was slightly mocking. He decided that was probably his integrally rooted paranoia speaking.

Pinkie Pie, lustre restored, grabbed Wesker's foreleg and dragged him towards 'Pin the Tail on the Pony'. "Don't worry about dancing yet, Ally. You just need to have FUN!"

It was going to be a long party...

Albert Wesker and the Party, Part III

Wesker had no real previous reference point when it came to actively participating in children's parties; he had neither been invited to one when he was young, nor had he ever wished to attend to any. As far as he could ascertain, this party was supposedly above the standard fare due to the involvement of the hyperactive Pinkie Pie. Truly, he found it difficult to tell the difference between a 'good party' and a 'bad party': a bad party in his eyes would probably involve some sort of T-Virus outbreak.

That would be a really bad party Al.

He wasn't sure what he would classify as good; he did, however, remember a S.T.A.R.S get-together that he had been forced to attend, when Frost had too much to drink, vomited profusely and then knocked himself unconscious on the toilet rim. His lips curved slightly at the memory – he'd never forget it.

However, presumably, that wasn't the kind of entertainment that these ponies wished for when they attended these no doubt incessant parties. Apparently they wanted to 'pin the tail on the pony', as he was being dragged to do.

Bet you wish they could make a party game out of Frost throwing up everywhere then nearly killing himself?

That was the dream. Unfortunately, it seemed Wesker would have to wait an incredibly long time before it was fulfilled; personally, he was holding out for a whole holiday based upon it. Pinkie turned towards the former human with a beaming smile plastered across her face. "You know how to play Pin the Tail on the Pony, Ally?"

Wesker wondered briefly whether this was a trick question before deciding to answer acerbically "I assume the goal is to pin the tail on the pony?"

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. "Sure is, Ally! You sound like a natural!"

Wesker blinked in confusion. Was that sarcasm in return or was it a genuine response? He got the feeling he had met his match here. With this unsettling thought present in his mind, he allowed the blindfold to be slipped over his eyes whilst his sunglasses were removed magically by Twilight, who appeared amused by the whole scenario.

He decided to speak once he met the inky blackness of the inner blindfold."Something funny, Miss Sparkle?"

"Nothing much, Albert…" Amusement was certainly prevalent in her tone. "I'm just thinking that you're going to be a natural at this."

Wesker raised a suspicious eyebrow, but Twilight didn't seem inclined to say anything else. "If your intention was to make me wary, Miss Sparkle, then you have succeeded."

He heard a light chuckle in response, but no more. Being unable to see increased his wariness to greater levels, elevated even further when he was spun around rapidly by a giggling Pinkie Pie. "Okay, Ally, pin the tail on the pony!"

Wesker staggered unsteadily forwards, not approving of the impairment of his senses during the course of this ridiculous game. Why on earth was it even necessary? He couldn't see as it was! He placed the tail roughly where he believed the rear end of the poster-pony to be.

BANG!

An enormous noise filled Wesker's ears. The blindfold slipped off and his instinct overrode any logical thought process as he whipped around, dropping into a combat stance with his teeth bared. He was greeted by the sight of a room filled with wide-eyed ponies, Rainbow Dash hovering slightly above them and holding the tattered remains of a recently popped balloon.

Ah, you may have come on a little too strong there Al...

In the uncomfortable silence that followed, Wesker's eyes stayed fixed on the previously inflated pink rubber. A prank gone wrong, it appeared.

He slowly and deliberately relaxed his body language before fixing the multicolored pegasus with a glare that he was desperately attempting to rein in. "Are you aware, Miss Dash..." he began flatly, fury simmering just below the surface at both her immaturity and the shame of his own foolishness, "that amnesiacs typically suffer from an exaggerated startle reaction?"

A look of incomprehension crossed her face. "Huh?"

Wesker closed his eyes briefly in an effort to settle down. If he killed her, fitting in around here would be far more difficult than he would prefer. "It means that I could have suffered a fatal heart attack." Admittedly, that scenario would have been incredibly unlikely even if he had appeared in Equestria with amnesia, but no matter. He just wanted this irritant to regret her childish actions.

"Oh..." Rainbow looked blank for a moment. "Sorry, it was just a prank."

Wesker rolled his neck, blinking in satisfaction as the joints popped. Slowly, he turned to look at the numerous confused ponies whilst retrieving his glasses. "Well, I'm certain it was one of your best."

The atmosphere took another turn for the worse as Rainbow scowled. Luckily for both, Pinkie Pie jumped in. "Dashie, Ally, stop being party poopers." She turned to Wesker. "She said she was sorry." And before he could respond, she whipped back round to face Rainbow Dash. "Ally just has a different sense of humor to you, Dashie, no need to get all upset."

Wesker locked eyes (over the rims of his shades) with Rainbow Dash, face carefully blank, before turning back to Pinkie Pie. "You are entirely correct, Miss Pinkie. My apologies. I was merely startled."

Rainbow Dash mumbled apologies to both Pinkie and him, causing the hyperactive party pony to beam joyfully before turning back to the murmuring ponies. "Come on, everypony, drama's over! Let's get back to PARTYING!"

As the noise swelled back to previous levels, Wesker breathed a sigh of relief and turned around to look at his almost forgotten tail-pinning handiwork.

Heh, not bad... Pretty close, Al.

Twilight trotted over towards him as Rainbow Dash went back towards the punch table with Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy. The unicorn hadn't appeared as mortified as the other ponies, only arching an eyebrow as she approached.

Huh, I wonder if that's what you always look like Al. Pretty smug...

Indeed, the expression was worryingly familiar, though it was reassuring that not everyone's sensibilities were so easily offended.

"I told you you'd be a natural at this Albert…" She had evidentially found his not-quite confrontation with Rainbow amusing. "… Though I'm not sure where in the rules it says to bare your teeth and glare at Rainbow Dash."

Wesker snorted. "I am not a fan of pranks."

Somehow, he managed to avoid adding 'or Rainbow Dash.'

Twilight gave a small laugh in response. "Apparently not." After the brief moment of mirth, her eyes widened slightly in concern. "You're all right, aren't you?"

Wesker cocked an eyebrow, looking down at himself in an exaggerated fashion. "It would appear so, Miss Sparkle."

She nodded faintly. "It's just that you seemed so... fierce. I thought maybe the loud noise had triggered a bad memory from your life before; not all the memories that amnesiacs regain are pleasant, after all."

"Take this, you ugly bastard!"

Strange... that was the last time he had heard a 'bang' as it were. Sheva Alomar had uttered those words as she and Chris fired his doom in the form of twin rocket launchers. His inglorious end had been compounded by those being the last words he heard. His vanity had objected far more than it ought to have done, considering he had more important issues at hand. Twilight noticed the slack posture of Wesker and laid a reassuring hoof upon his shoulder. "It's okay, this is your life now. Anything that came before isn't important."

The unfamiliar contact rankled slightly, but he supposed that the overall sentiment was appreciated, so he nodded once at the purple unicorn. She lowered her hoof with a faint smile curving her lips. "At least you didn't completely ruin the party."

Surprised, Wesker gave off a bark of amused laughter. "Give it time, Miss Sparkle. It's still early."

Albert Wesker and the Party, Part IV

Author's Note: I know I know, world's longest party. I just had too many ideas for it. Enjoy. Beta'd and proofread by the ever reliable REV6Pilot

Wesker maintained a careful distance away from Rainbow Dash as Twilight left him to talk to her multicoloured pegasus friend. It would be untrue of him to state that conflict was not in his nature, but he certainly did not thrive off petty verbal disputes. This was not a contest he could settle via his traditional preferred means, which normally consisted of a bullet from a silenced gun straight to the skull of the target.

Not an option, Al. Hooves can't hold guns.

That was the most basic flaw in assassinating someone he'd had a minor argument with... perhaps he was exaggerating?

Wonders never cease, Albert.

There was nothing he could do to remove her from his life now, and so he supposed he would have to tolerate her presence. It appeared that Twilight Sparkle and Applejack were fast friends with the rambunctious Pegasus, and so avoiding her was almost surely impossible. Of course, he was never going to be her friend – that was an honour reserved for those that he at least didn't want to kill, and the chromatic mare certainly did not fit that bill – but he could at least try to be civil, by his standards at least. If she snapped first, then she would appear to be the villain of the piece, and perhaps the others would shun her. It was a vague plan, but a plan nonetheless, one which required minimal effort on his part. He allowed a smirk to cross his lips as he swept his gaze across the room at the exact moment that Rainbow Dash looked over in his direction. Their eyes locked, and he kept his smug smile in place whilst raising his punch glass in her direction, her eyes narrowed very slightly but she returned the gesture with a slight nod.

Al... What did we agree about deliberately antagonizing people?

Wesker's smile remained firmly in place. He was just grinning, that was hardly worthy of admonishment.

It wouldn't be Al... If you weren't…

He frowned once Rainbow Dash had looked away. Weren't what?

...Smug as hell.

Heh, that couldn't be helped. His personality had been long determined, and he was hardly about to change his very nature to placate some flamboyant, stubborn, argumentative mule.

Wesker was jolted out of his thoughts by an almost imperceptibly quiet voice. "I hope that Rainbow Dash didn't upset you, Albert." Fluttershy stared nervously as the blond earth pony turned to face her. "She didn't do it to be mean."

The former human pushed his sunglasses back up to the bridge of his nose as he spoke. "I am aware, Miss Fluttershy, but your concern is appreciated. I was merely taken aback and reacted unfairly." Fluttershy nodded in a meek fashion and looked uneasily at her hooves, seemingly planning to say something else. "Something to add, Miss Fluttershy?"

The quiet nature of Wesker's voice didn't prevent her flinch. "Erm... Well, I... It's just, you seemed so angry. I thought maybe Rainbow had really made you upset, and I didn't want you and my other friend to be mad at each other."

He rolled his eyes behind his mirrored shades. "Well, there's no reason to be concerned. I am fine, as you can see. It was an instinctive reaction, Miss Fluttershy. I acted in self-defence, and now feel foolish for reacting unpleasantly, and unnecessarily, towards Miss Dash."

Fluttershy nodded once more. "I understand, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." A brief pause ensued before the yellow pegasus continued. "Apart from that, how are you enjoying your first Pinkie Pie party?"

The words 'be polite' echoed through Wesker's head like a personal mantra; he couldn't let the timid pony know that he found it to be both pointless and childish. "I am enjoying myself, Miss Fluttershy. The punch in particular is delicious."

The pegasus gave a timid smile. "Have you had any cake yet, Albert?"

The male shook his head and gestured to the baked goods table with his hoof. "I have not. Lead the way, if you will." As they walked, Wesker was aware they were approaching Rarity and Applejack, who were also enjoying the cake. More importantly, however, he was aware that nearly every pair of eyes was following him, a perfect opportunity to endear himself to the locals. And so, the former human seized the opportunity. "This really is an excellent party, isn't it Miss Fluttershy?" Fluttershy nodded in reply as Wesker continued, just loud enough for the majority of Sugarcube Corner to hear. "It is incredibly touching that the whole town came here just to make me feel welcome." He cast a surreptitious glance around the area and saw that ponies were casting warm smiles in his direction. A rare few were even glancing in Rainbow Dash's direction, which he assumed could only work in his favor.

Fluttershy offered another shy smile in Wesker's direction. "It's nothing, Albert, in Ponyville we love to meet new ponies."

His lips twitched as he recalled his meeting with the shy pegasus. "Even yourself, Miss Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy pawed nervously at the floor as a pensive grin spread across her face. "It takes me a while to get used to the idea, but I still like to meet new ponies. I just get a little nervous at first."

Wesker laughed. "I gathered as much, Miss Fluttershy."

Further conversation was interrupted by their arrival at the cake. It certainly looked impressive; goodness knows how Pinkie Pie managed to decorate the entire room and bake a whole, treble-tiered cake within such a short timeframe. However, he got the distinct impression that she didn't exactly adhere to the traditional rules of reality... even less so than the rest of these ponies.

Rarity and Applejack gave warm greetings as the duo approached. The unicorn and Fluttershy began chatting amicably, and Applejack took the chance to turn to Wesker. "Have y'all recovered from your lil' shock?"

He arched an eyebrow at the repressed humour on her face. "I have indeed, Applejack… Should I assume you found it as amusing as Miss Sparkle did?"

The earth mare's face looked strained as she valiantly struggled to maintain a look of apparent concern. "Course not, Al! It was just unexpected and all and I..." Just then, her attempt failed and she began chuckling heartily. Wesker peered at her over the top of his glasses, patiently waiting for her to finish. "I'm sorry, Al, it's just that when Rainbow first popped that there balloon your face was priceless... before ya went all growly."

The male pony's nose wrinkled in distaste. "Please, Miss Applejack, I was not 'growly', nor have I ever been." His reaction, however, only appeared to fuel her heightened hilarity and she began guffawing with abandon. "I was merely surprised," he finished lamely.

After a short while, Applejack managed to calm down. She cocked her head to the side as she surveyed Wesker. "Do y'all call this surprised?" She then proceeded to pull a vastly exaggerated (in Wesker's opinion) face, mimicking the expression the blond pony had pulled before confronting Rainbow Dash.

He raised a solitary eyebrow. "No, I call it fabrication. That wasn't what I looked like."

Applejack nodded reluctantly. "Y'all are right, it was more like this." The demonstration of his facial features was repeated, but this time Applejack crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out. "Don'tcha think, Al?"

Wesker rolled his eyes. "Uncanny... like looking into a mirror, Miss Applejack."

She laughed once more. "Well, I certainly thought so, Al, can't believe we've ever had parties without y'all here."

Wesker smirked. "Indeed. It appears that I am fated to always be the life and soul of the party."

Applejack smiled mischievously. "Somethin' like that."

Wesker examined the cake at a closer distance. It certainly looked delicious, a consensus that many of the party guests appeared to share, judging by the numerous dainty slices cut from the baked colossus. Just as Wesker leaned to cut himself a small slice, Rarity stepped backwards from Fluttershy as she laughed at something the latter had said. The pure white unicorn nudged the table leg, destabilizing it. The next few seconds played out incredibly slowly to Wesker's hyper alert brain: the table leg folded and Rarity's instinctive attempt to steady it tilted the surface, sending the cake spiralling into the air, watched by dozens of open-mouthed ponies.

The former human, infused with pure adrenaline, launched himself full-length to catch the airborne foodstuff, steadying it in his hooves and inches above the hard floor surface. Concurrently, his eyewear flew across the room with the unexpected acceleration, landing perilously close to the punch bowl where Rainbow Dash stood.

He set it down carefully on the floor and let out a ragged sigh as ponies crowded around him, whooping and offering various congratulations. He looked up to locate his eyewear and noticed it in the grasp of the Pegasus he disliked the most, who watched him with wide eyes and a slack jaw. He walked...

Strutted Al, don't even try and deny that.

He strutted over and gently removed the sunglasses from her slack grip, mouth twitching as he did so. "That was 'cool', was it not, Miss Dash?"

An incoherent noise passed from the mouth of the pegasus as she stared blankly into space.

You did not need that ego boost, Al...

Albert Wesker and the Party, Part V

Author's Note: I have got a ridiculous sleeping pattern and I'm procrastinating horribly to avoid doing my university essays, ergo: More pony/ Weskery goodness. As always, this was made legible by REV6Pilot. P.S. Listen to Lightspeed Champion. SO AWESOME.

Rarity immediately rushed over to Wesker once the monstrous cake had been moved to another, far more secure, table. "Oh, thank goodness you were here, Albert! I can't even imagine how embarrassed I would have been if I'd ruined Pinkie Pie's cake."

The blond pony offered a small smirk. "Not as embarrassed as I would have been if I hadn't caught it." Rarity tittered lightly as Rainbow tried to conceal her annoyance at his 'slick moves'. He guessed that she resented the fact that she hadn't been the one to rescue the baked colossus. "I'm just glad that the party's still running smoothly, aren't you Miss Dash?"

Rainbow slapped a grin onto her face with such rapidity that the former human almost flinched. "Sure am, Al. Tell you what, that was a pretty sweet dive! Someday you'll be as awesome at those maneuvers as me."

Wesker returned the pegasus' fake smile with a forced one of his own. "I live in hope, Miss Dash."

How 'awesome' would she think it was if he cracked her skull open...?

Al...

Joking. Definitely joking... There were too many witnesses around.

Al!

The main lesson the scientist had learnt from communicating with Rainbow Dash was that she did not enjoy sarcasm when it seemingly poked fun at her, but she had also realized that she couldn't respond outright aggressively, for fear of being rebuked by her friends. Wesker and her had entered a passive-aggressive war, one which Rainbow wisely did not immediately continue, if only because Rarity chose this moment to chip in. "I was going to say, Rainbow, that was a piece of acrobatic skill that even you would have been proud of! You and Albert should get to know each other better."

Wesker's mind was torn between annoyance at being compared in any fashion to the irritating pegasus, and muted delight at the disguised look of distaste that appeared on Rainbow's face. He doubted conversation would flow if he was sent off to talk to her.

Of course not, Albert, maybe the two of you can discuss how badly you want to kill her.

He forced himself to swallow his sizeable pride. There was no way he could refuse this secondary invitation without appearing incredibly rude. "Quite, Miss Rarity." He turned towards Rainbow and gestured towards the new home of the cake, which thankfully had a certain pink pony aside it, studiously watching the legs of everypony who attempted to cut themselves a slice... or stand near it... or so much as look at it. "I didn't actually get a chance to sample the cake before. Shall we?"

Rainbow nodded once and trotted after him. Being cordial to someone he disliked was hardly a foreign situation to Wesker – Umbrella fundraisers had produced several whom the blond was forced to greet like old friends and hear about their tedious, dusty lives, while making it seem like he cared. He had to assume that Rainbow Dash was not as accustomed to cloaking her feelings in such a peaceful, happy-go-lucky town, where everyone was her friend. The upper hand was most assuredly his. To this end, he started the chatter. "I didn't get the chance to say it to you personally: I feel I must apologise for my earlier behavior."

Rainbow scratched awkwardly behind her ear with a hoof as she picked over her words. "That's okay, Al... I mean, I didn't mean to scare you... or make you angry. I just thought it'd be funny."

The words 'But it wasn't' attempted valiantly to claw their way out of Wesker's throat, but he remained resolute. "No harm done, Miss Dash, I'm sure there will be ample opportunity for pranks in the future… Preferably not with me involved, though." He offered her a ghost of a grin as they arrived at the cake table, one which she tentatively returned. Without warning, he suddenly recalled the last time someone had dared play a prank on him...

April 1st1997

"What is this?"

Wesker's voice simmered somewhere between uncontrollable fury and absolute bemusement. What the S.T.A.R.S. captain referred to was a paper snake which had shot out of his top drawer once he'd opened it, along with some coloured confetti, nearly giving him a heart attack. His handgun hung loosely in his hand, having been drawn instinctively once the 'snake' had appeared, and his other hand held the offending item at eye level as he stormed into the main S.T.A.R.S. office. Wesker scanned the faces of all Alpha Team members present, examining their reactions.

Frost stood stock still as he leaned on Jill's desk, staring open-mouthed at the incandescent Captain. Valentine looked entirely blank, which gave credence to his initial theory, one that he would share once he'd investigated further. Chris looked to be attempting desperately not to express amusement –his shoulders were shaking with repressed laughter as he contorted his facial muscles together in an attempt to look serious. Brad Vickers looked terrified, as usual, though Wesker knew it couldn't be him. The pilot's fear of his commander was near irrational, and the idea of Vickers even setting foot in his office without invitation was ludicrous.

Barry Burton, who was sitting at his desk, looked up when his commanding officer stormed in and shook his head once he saw the cause of the commotion, going back to writing his reports as though nothing had happened – Wesker immediately struck him off the list of suspects. He was far too old to be playing pranks anyway.

Chris, on the other hand, was not so."Something amusing about this to you, Redfield?" Wesker wiggled the paper snake lightly as he spoke, approaching the Alpha team sharpshooter's desk. Chris was on the brink of losing it, his Captain could tell. He wasn't sure what would happen first: Redfield's head exploding with repressed humorous emotion, or him shooting the young man in the leg to 'help him focus'. "Do share, Redfield, I'm sure the entire office is dying to hear whatever private joke you have stored in that yawning vacuum you call a brain."

The insult served its intended purpose, and Chris managed to straighten his face enough to speak. "Nothing's funny sir."

Wesker arched an eyebrow. "Really now? You don't find the idea of me almost firing a bullet into a paper snake amusing?" Redfield was shaking violently, his face an impressive shade of red as he tried to avoid laughing. The blond almost felt sorry for his subordinate. "You aren't tickled by the idea of me nearly falling off my chair as a crude toy leapt at me from my desk drawer?"

It was too much for Chris. Sweat trickled down the side of his face and tears began leaking from his eyes as his poker face started to crumble. He just about managed to choke out a "no, sir" before he collapsed in a fit of giggles, the pent-up hilarity releasing itself in a vast wave as he leant on his desk, completely wracked by chuckles. Wesker watched him with an entirely blank face as the rest of the S.T.A.R.S. Alpha team slowly edged their desks away from the unusual pair, bracing themselves for the coming storm.

The Captain slowly removed his glasses and began gently polishing them, waiting, as Chris began to regain control of his senses… and realise just how doomed he was. His facial expression changed from deeply amused to terrified so rapidly that the blond was almost impressed. "Before you ask, Redfield," Wesker began, "I am not going to fire you... yet."

Chris' shoulders slumped with relief. The Umbrella scientist's gaze immediately edged round to Jill Valentine, whose mouth opened slightly in pre-emption as he continued speaking to his target. "I am aware of three things: one, both my office door and my drawer were locked as of last night; two, you are entirely too dense to pick locks; and three, only one member of S.T.A.R.S. is actually capable of picking a lock." He spun round and pointed an accusing finger at Jill. "I have no idea how that dullard convinced you to take part in this, but I'm waiting to hear it."

The female Alpha team member mumbled something incomprehensible. Wesker cupped his ear and leaned in towards her. "Again, Valentine, so that it's decipherable to human beings."

Jill seemed very embarrassed, fidgeting nervously. Finally, she summoned up the courage to reply. "He said it would be funny."

Wesker was so surprised that he actually let out a bark of laughter, before composing himself and hoping that he hadn't ruined his disciplinary action with that outbreak. "That's it, Valentine? That's all it took to risk your job, and, dare I say it, your well-being?" He snorted. "Clearly I've been incorrectly hand-selecting my team members..."

The blond began polishing his eyewear again with a sigh. "I'm aware that I dealt with this in the manner of a schoolteacher, but if you act like children, I will treat you like children. Both of you, 20 laps around the building, and 50 push-ups once you get back in." The pair groaned, but stood reluctantly and headed for the exit. Wesker couldn't resist, and called out as they reached the door. "Redfield? Valentine?" They both turned to face their captain as they leaned against the doorframe. "I'm not saying this wasn't amusing but..." He offered a ghost of a smirk, "…find an easier target next time."

Albert Wesker and the Party, Final Part

Author's Note: Finished all 4 of my essays for Uni, so I have way more spare time for ponies. Huzzah! I imagine that the feeling of relief evoked by the fact that this party is finally ending must be astronomical, last chapter of general nonsense then an actual plot will appear. Pinkie Pie swear! (It's a good plot, even if I do say so myself, a tiny smidge of it will be implanted into this chapter) P.S. Twilight's dancing here is the same as it was in the season 2 episode 'Sweet and elite', a.k.a. adorable nerd dancing. Beta'd by REV6Pilot. (Read his story, 'Cutie Mark Crusaders: Survivors')

Wesker felt that the amount of flashbacks he was receiving was entirely disproportionate for someone who was only feigning amnesia. Regardless, he had managed to remain somewhat focused on his conversation and had even avoided inadvertently offending Rainbow Dash for a second time with his vacancy. The discussion between the two of them had been rather stilted anyhow; it wasn't as though he had missed out on any sort of enlightening interaction.

"So..." Rainbow began nonchalantly. "Do you think you used to be some kinda athlete?"

Wesker assumed that she wanted that to be the case so that the show-up wasn't as humiliating a blow on her ego as being out-sped by a run-of-the-mill earth pony. It was, frankly, quite pathetic, but he was in good enough spirits to humour her. "It seems as plausible as any other theories I have concocted."

The mare's nose wrinkled as she translated Wesker's extensive vocabulary. "Though it sounds like you used to be a scientist, Al. You and Twilight should form some kind of egghead club."

The now-pony let out a snort of amusement to cover up his reignited annoyance. "I'll take that under advisement, Miss Rainbow, though I can't imagine attendance will be very high if we title it 'The Eggheads Club'."

The pegasus gave a sheepish grin as Wesker smirked, but her reply was delayed by their arrival at the Pinkie Pie-guarded cake table."WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" The pink pony's shout caused both to instinctively flinch and hold up their front hooves in a gesture of placation. "ARE YOU HERE TO SABOTAGE MY CAKE?"

Watched by a room of baffled ponies and a militantly alert Pinkie Pie, he slowly stepped forward. "Miss Dash and I are merely here to have a slice, Miss Pie." A thin smile spread across the former human's face. "I believe my heroics have earned that?"

Pinkie watched Wesker through narrowed lids for a few tense seconds before a beaming smile took its place. "Sure thing, Ally. How big a piece do you want?" Wesker let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and gestured the size with his hooves. With his portion of cake cut, put on a plate and handed over to a quietly grateful blond earth pony, Pinkie then turned to Rainbow. "How 'bout you Dashie?"

Rainbow Dash stroked her chin thoughtfully as she sized up the cake. "Err... Can I have a medium sized slice?" Pinkie Pie cocked her head to the side in confusion for a moment, but went to cut the treat anyway, at least until her friend interrupted her again. "Wait! Bigger than that." Pinkie nodded and adjusted her grip on the knife. "Little bit smaller." The pink pony raised her eyebrows but reacted accordingly as Rainbow mulled over the size of her cake slice, the knife, held by an increasingly confused Pinkie, hovering above the confection.

Finally, Rainbow Dash seemed satisfied. "Perfect!" It was a good thing she didn't try and revise it one more time; Wesker was willing to take a murder charge for the simple pleasure of caving the pegasus' head in with the cake, or anything else that came to hand.

What hand, Al?

With cake in hoof, the two departed. "Remember Ally and Dashie, it's time to dance soon!" Pinkie Pie spoke at their retreating backs. The scientist managed to avoid wincing; he'd hoped that he could sneak under the radar, however unlikely that might have been, but he knew now that his fate was sealed. He waved a hoof over his head to signify that he had heard. Still, he'd rather flail his limbs around for no apparent reason than have to spend more time than was absolutely necessary with the irritating pony beside him.

"So..." Dash began once more, and the former human found it remarkable how even the slightest verbal tic of hers set his teeth on edge. "Kinda crazy how defensive Pinkie was over that cake, right?"

Wesker nodded absent-mindedly as he scanned the room. "I daresay it's a natural reaction, considering how much effort she put into it." Another smirk tugged at the corners of his lips. "I can't be around to save it every time."

Rainbow's forced chuckle once more scratched at the dark recesses of his mind, but he ignored it. Their conversation followed that pattern for around half an hour, Rainbow making a comment that Wesker would react to, then there would be an awkward silence while the mare thought of something else to bother the earth pony with. His salvation, debatably, arrived in the form of the lights in Sugarcube Corner dimming and a large spinning disco ball lowering itself down from the ceiling.

Bet that conversation doesn't seem so bad now, huh Al?

"Listen up, everypony!" An almost-frighteningly enthusiastic Pinkie Pie had stood up on a (thankfully cakeless) table. "It's time to take this party up a notch! Hope everypony brought their dancing hooves!"

With that, dance music began playing in the background and all present began moving in approximate time with the rhythm. Wesker's eye twitched in vague horror; he was really more of a waltz kind of man... pony. He didn't know why he assumed the dancing would be of a slow tempo – perhaps his impromptu journey to Ponyville had damaged his brain more than he assumed. Nonetheless, this was bad, very bad indeed. His panicked eyes, visible over the lens of his glasses, drifted back to Rainbow Dash, who was looking at him with open amusement. Not knowing why he had expected empathy from that particular direction, he averted his gaze towards Rainbow's friends, Rarity and Fluttershy, who were swaying gracefully in near-perfect rhythm that left Wesker honestly impressed. Pinkie Pie was zipping around at a rate he would have been jealous of even during his fights against Chris and Sheva. Applejack was stomping around heavily in a vague approximation of a dance; the former human needed to remember that if he did fail as miserably as he predicted.

Finally, Twilight was...

Well... that's something... right Al?

A non-sarcastic smile started to slowly spread across Wesker's face as he watched the mare. It could barely be called dancing: her limbs were flailing wildly, her eyes were closed, and her face was scrunched up in... concentration?, enjoyment? He had no idea. And frankly, the bizarre, uncoordinated movement was so intensely amusing that he didn't care. He continued watching Twilight's unintentionally hilarious dance for a while, oblivious to Rainbow Dash's intense scrutiny and the attention of Twilight's friends slowly switching towards him.

Eventually, the purple unicorn opened her eyes and found herself making direct eye contact with Wesker, whose smile turned into a bark of laughter as her cheeks turned a flaming red.

The ex-Umbrella employee sauntered over, his slight nervousness evaporating at the memory of Twilight's inept moves. There was no way he could do worse. Once he was close enough to the intelligent unicorn, he spoke into her ear so she could hear him above the music. "Very interesting dance moves, dear heart. I'll certainly have to raise my game to be considered nearly as fascinating."

Wesker felt another small moment of satisfaction as she blushed once more; her face was probably hotter than the lava which he had fallen into at the conclusion of his previous life.

"Well... I didn't really do much dancing in Canterlot and the diagrams in my book were really difficult to decipher." Wesker's snort after this statement conjured a sheepish grin from the unicorn, and Twilight looked away from the blond pony for a moment. "Well... can you do much better? I saw the fear in your eyes Albert."

Wesker blinked in surprise at the challenge before a confident grin made its way across his face. "Fear that I would outshine you too much perhaps, dear heart?" Well, it was now or never, his ego had drawn him in too deeply to back out at this point. He slowly began swaying his hooves in time with the music, twisting his torso at regular intervals and occasionally tilting his head to compliment his gentle movements. He had never believed in the concept of 'losing yourself in the music', trusting that the key was control, so he was sure to keep his movement calm and collected. He had a similar theory when it came to lovemaking: 'losing yourself' just meant you were more likely to embarrass yourself. Wesker was not one to embarrass himself and he was not one to let his guard down in any situation, even during something as seemingly innocent as dancing.

Sheesh Al, you're a laugh-a-minute aren't you?

The stallion ignored Joy. Judging by the expressions of annoyance on both Applejack and Twilight's face, he was doing quite a good job and directed a smug smile at the pair, but he had to focus on controlling his movements.

He carried on in this vein for around twenty minutes before he decided to speak to Twilight again. By now Rainbow Dash had joined the group and was dancing with all the energy and agility that Wesker had expected – much as it pained him to admit it, she was rather good.

"So, Miss Twilight, is that dancing sufficient? Will you let the matter rest now?" Wesker's words were accompanied by a trademark smirk when the purple unicorn nodded reluctantly.

Albert Wesker.

The former human went stock still, ignoring Twilight's questioning stare. He looked around and noticed no one had said those words – not like they had sounded, whispered into his ear by a sinister female voice. His head pounded heavily, and he instinctively raised a hoof to hold it.

"Are you alright, Albert?"

Wesker let out a vague grunt in an attempt to stop the female from speaking.

Albert Wesker.

Bile suddenly rose at the base of his throat. He nodded briefly at Twilight and sprinted out the back door of Sugarcube Corner, retching violently onto the ground as soon as he came out the door. He leaned against the wall to calm himself whilst glancing at the mid-afternoon scenery around him, his legs wobbling. This was not how he planned to excuse himself from the festivities…

Al... This is not good.

He saw Rainbow Dash striding purposefully towards him, a stern, suspicious expression carved into her face as she approached. He silently agreed with Joy: it seemed things were taking a turn for the worse.

Good luck with your infamous charm, Albert…

Albert Wesker and the Conflict

Author's Note: Finally, the party has finished and stuff can happen now. Wild stuff... crazy stuff... important stuff. Got two weeks off from uni now that my exams are over so I'll probably be updating more often. Enjoy. Beta'd by REV6Pilot, of course.

Wesker gritted his teeth as he watched the cyan pegasus approach. He could still taste vomit in the recesses of his throat, his legs shaking profusely as he used the wall for support. The dark voice was still resonating around his consciousness and he found himself desperately trying to place it – as far as he could tell, it was female, and certainly belonged to no pony or human he had ever met. His mulling over the subject was disrupted by the speech of Rainbow Dash. "What was that about, Al?"

Her voice was laden with suspicion, and the earth pony found his hackles rising at the sarcastic familiarity she let out when uttering his new nickname. He'd reached the end of his tether, and now the rope was starting to break.

He tossed his glasses aside as he pried himself away from the wall, and slowly walked towards the pegasus. "I don't see how it is any of your business, Miss Dash."

Rainbow raised her eyebrows at Wesker's confrontational tone, but with equal vitriol in her voice, replied "It's my business because you're acting really strange, and…" She hesitated briefly. "... I don't trust you."

Wesker leaned in towards the mare, annoyance written all over his features. "And I don't like you, Miss Rainbow, so it appears we are at an impasse." Rainbow Dash flinched at his acidic words, and the blond pony didn't waste the opportunity to twist the knife. "I'm not entirely sure which insecurities you suffer from, but projecting them onto me is not a wise move, dear heart."

She snorted in derision. "Insecurities? That's got nothing to do with it! Something about you isn't right, and I don't know what it is, but I'm gonna find out."

Wesker ran a hoof through his mane in an attempt to calm himself down. Relentless, dull-witted, prying, ignorant cretin! When he trusted himself to reply, his tone was originally even and flat, a frightening level for those who actually knew the former human's traits and personality. "Something's not right, is it not? What exactly do you suspect that is? Is it the fact that I made you look like the fool you are? Was it the fact that I was able to move faster than the so-called 'best athlete in Ponyville'? Or is it because I'm new here and detracting away from the constant attention your unwarranted ego demands?"

By the conclusion of his rant, Wesker's expression had degenerated from one of guarded indifference to an outright snarl. One of his special talents throughout his adult life had been intimidating others, and he was putting it into full practice here. But rather than shy away, as he had expected, Rainbow's expression matched his own. "That's a load of baloney! You wanna know why I don't trust you? Because you're big-headed, and you clearly think you're totally amazing! If you've got no memory, then what have you got to be so arrogant about? You say that your amnesia makes you more jumpy but when I pulled that prank, you didn't look scared, you looked ready to kill somepony." The cyan pony's expression turned grave. "And something tells me that you already have."

Wesker was internally surprised at the seemingly simple pegasus' intuition; her assertion that he had killed before was more accurate than she could ever know. However, he still had an advantage in this interaction. "Fantastic perception, dear heart," he drawled sarcastically. "I can't wait to hear the swathes of evidence you must have to back up this theory." He arched an eyebrow, ignoring the pounding in his eardrums and the creeping sense of unease he was feeling. "You do have evidence, don't you? It is incredibly uncouth to accuse a stranger of murder based on nothing more than pin-headed instinct." He saw a kernel of self-doubt bloom in Rainbow's eyes and instantly seized it. "That's what you're doing isn't it?" Rainbow looked mutinous, but unable to refute his allegations, so he summed up as much false righteous self-indignation as he could before continuing. "You have a great deal of nerve, Miss Rainbow. I appear in your town lost, alone and friendless, unable to recall my life and with no way of ever seeing those who I may have left behind, and you have the pig-headed stubbornness to accuse me of a most heinous crime based on nothing but pure dislike." The ex-Umbrella agent put a hoof to his thumping head to further the picture of frustration. "I don't know why, but I expected better from you, dear heart. Clearly, I shouldn't assume the best of ponies in this town."

Wesker had always been a skilled orator and manipulator, and he was going all-out in this verbal battle. He could tell that Rainbow's dogged diligence was fuelled by a misguided sense of loyalty to her friends, and probably to Ponyville itself. By making it clear that he thought well of, and posed no threat to, both her companions and the other citizens of the small town, he was undermining her line of attack.

Sheesh Al, you really can't just have a normal conversation can you?

As expected, Rainbow's intense gaze faltered slightly and her features softened before she let out a sigh. "Okay, I'm sorry, maybe that was a little harsh. But something's not right about you, Al, and not just because you're different or because you're super smart. There's just something... off about you." She paused slightly and gave a small, sad smile. "I want to be wrong, but I don't think I am." The lack of anger in her reply allowed Wesker to drop the level of intensity in his speech and scoop up his sunglasses.

"You want to know what's different about me, dear heart?" He made sure his voice resonated with fake melancholy when he carried on. "I am lost in a world I don't recognize. Where was I born? Do I have a family? Tell me, if you lost your memories of being a filly, what kind of pony would you be? Don't you believe you would seem 'off'?"

The blond pony savored her thoroughly guilty expression as she looked down at her hooves. "I'm so sorry, Al, I never thought of it like that. I... I just wanted to make sure my friends were safe, and I can't trust anyone or anything that might hurt them. I see that I was wrong." She looked up at Wesker and gave a half smile. "I still don't like you, though... you make me feel dumb."

A surprised Wesker let out a snort of laughter. "The feeling is mutual, Miss Rainbow, you make me feel far too intelligent for my own good." The blond pony's smirk grew as the cyan pegasus grimaced. "I mean that in the most affable manner possible, of course." Rainbow gave another small smile. Both knew that friendship was most likely never going to be an option, but neither had any real reason to object to neutrality, and so they left it at that.

Suddenly, the pegasus started as a previous thought resurfaced in her mind. "So why did you run outside, Al?"

Wesker rolled his neck, grunting with satisfaction as the joints cracked. "I felt nauseous and had to exit to vomit." He didn't have to tell her any of the 'juicier' details, and he certainly wouldn't if he could help it.

Rainbow's nose wrinkled in distaste. "Why didn't you use the bathroom?"

Her concern for your health is touching, Albert.

He rolled his eyes behind the mirrored lenses of his glasses. "I wasn't exactly thinking lucidly. I was preoccupied with not leaving a mess on the dance floor."

Rainbow nodded sheepishly. "That makes sense. Wonder what caused it, though, the cake seemed fine."

"It wasn't the cake, that's for sure. If it was then I would not be the only victim."

Rainbow looked thoughtful and turned to walk back inside. "You okay, Al?" When Wesker confirmed that he was, she gave him a grin and moved to leave.

So much death, Albert Wesker. So much deceit, what a mind you have.

The former human let out an involuntary groan as the shadowy voice ripped through his mind once more, the pain growing to such an intense level that he didn't notice Rainbow Dash shouting for help as he vomited once more into the bush outside Sugarcube Corner, right before sinking into a merciful darkness.

Albert Wesker and the Dream, Part I

Author's Note: Plot. Plot everywhere. It will be interspersed alongside episode-based pony adventures. Let me know what you think, I bow to your accumulated wisdom. Beta'd by the fantabulous REV6Pilot.

Wesker had expected his surroundings to be dark when his vision returned, but instead, they were a brilliant, all-consuming white. Once his wits had returned, he realized where he was: the icy tundra in the Caucasus Mountains, the location of Sergei's Umbrella facility, a place that had so generously provided him the pharmaceutical company's entire data archives. He remembered the events of that day with a faint smile, the cold around him utterly forgotten. So certain... He had been so sure of success that day, knowing that the future was his to decide. 'And now look at me.' He raised a finger to his temple and sighed.

He froze. Finger? He disbelievingly flexed the aforementioned digits in front of his sunglasses experimentally. He was human again! The blond was dressed in his favorite black suit, immaculate leather gloves covering his rediscovered hands. The unusual situation momentarily distracted him from the recent past, but it soon came crashing down with a great deal of force.

"This is a dream, then?" the scientist groaned, looking at the desolate landscape. "What a shame." He paused once more as something that had been tugging at the back of his mind made itself known. "The weather wasn't this calm the last time I visited."

As though summoned by his speech, a great wind began blowing through the near-arctic wasteland, causing the former Umbrella employee to raise an eyebrow. "And I believe I had a glass of wine." In an instant, a wine glass materialized into existence, fitting snugly into his gloved palm, any faint hopes that Wesker had of this scenario being reality evaporating with just as much speed. Still, if this was a dream, then at least he could enjoy it in luxury before returning to what he now laughingly referred to as 'reality'. He took a measured sip of the alcoholic beverage. 'Romanée Conti, 1990 vintage.' He seemed to recall that a single bottle had once sold for over $10,000 at a wine auction. It was proved: when Albert Wesker dreamt, he certainly did not dream cheap.

Albert Wesker.

The man spun round on the spot, quickly but smoothly to avoid spilling any wine. That voice! It was the shadowy voice he had heard before losing consciousness, he was certain of it. "If you wish to talk, then talk. But stop repeating my name incessantly; it is tiresome."

He felt a dark presence swoop over his shoulder and saw it appear in his field of vision. A cloud of black smoke awaited him, hewn roughly into a female shape and regarding him curiously. The insidious, but worryingly alluring, speech issued forth from the blackness. "My apologies, Albert Wesker, I was merely perusing your memories."She extended her gaze around the snowy landscape with thinly veiled fascination. "Would you care to join me?"

She stated the fact and extended the invitation as though she were speaking of having afternoon tea. Wesker raised an eyebrow. "Do I have a choice, dear heart? If I do, will you tell me who and what you are?"

A shadowy laugh rang through the blond human's ears. "So many questions..."There was a brief pause."I will tell you what I want you to know while we travel."

"But not what I want to know."

Wesker could hear the smirk in the shadow creature's voice as she replied "Apparently not."

The black-suited blond sighed. "Lead on, then."

The smoke lady laid a dark hand upon his shoulder, making him turn, and pointed towards a black speck on the horizon. "We are headed towards that, Albert Wesker. You may recognise it once we arrive." Upon seeing Wesker's obvious discomfort to the physical contact, she chuckled and released him. "Catch me if you can."

With that, she began racing towards the dot at a surprisingly high speed. Wesker cracked his knuckles. He could feel his superhuman swiftness restored, and wasted no time in giving chase. Eventually, she slowed down to drift alongside him, seemingly putting no effort in doing so as the scenery shot past. "So impressive... yet you never regret what you sacrificed to obtain it?"

He snorted, deciding to play whatever game this bizarre creature had concocted. "Regret what? Losing the shackles of weakness and idiocy? Taking my first step towards perfection? I think not, dear heart. Nonetheless, what do you want from me? Are you some twisted personification of my conscience? Perhaps you are the angel on my shoulder, gone awry? Speak."

Another amused burst of laughter issued forth from the dark approximation of a human. "How quaint. Know that you could never truly understand me… but I will answer one of your questions."She floated into Wesker's eye line and cocked her head to the side, examining his face whilst he studiously ignored her, pressing on towards the ever-nearer dot."I sensed a great deal of anger and hatred radiating from the world of the ponies, the likes of which I had not felt similar to for over a thousand years. It is such a dull place, filled with misguided foals that wallow in their so-called 'perfect existence'. With you, I felt that someone had finally arrived with the potential to upset their 'harmony'. So to that end, Albert Wesker... What I want from you is to know more about you, to understand how you think, what you know and most importantly, what you desire."

Wesker turned his head slowly to regard the silhouette before him, ignoring the shape slowly taking form on the horizon. "At least you are honest about your intentions. Though why I have to be a pawn in your insidious game is beyond me."

At this, the gloomy figure appeared to be somewhat abashed. "I had access to your memories, not to your thought processes or your motivation. That is all. I wished to hear it from you so I could truly know what you are..." She hesitated for a moment. "I attempted to access your memories while you were awake, but whenever your own mind tried to do the same, not only was I unable to watch the memory I wished to see, you experienced what you may call a 'flashback'. I decided that method was too disruptive. Likewise, when I tried to contact you directly, it caused you the pain and nausea you felt, and left you unable to respond. Being so, I decided to draw you to unconsciousness, so we could converse safely, and access your memories more conveniently."

The man smirked. "How generous of you." She giggled lightly. "I assume that, if I refuse to go along with your scheme, then my waking hours will be spent vomiting and blacking out?"

The shadow creature returned the smirk. "You assume correctly."

Wesker swept a gloved hand through his hair in faint annoyance. "Then I suppose we shall examine my memories together. I hope we will not be studying all of them in one night."

She waved a dismissive hand."I do not wish to overexert you. I will visit you each night, and access a memory I believe to be an important component of your character. You will analyze it and explain it to me. Once I have built up a reasonable idea of your personality, then I will make you an offer. Does that sound fair?"

Wesker popped the joints in his neck as he sprinted. "Not in the slightest, but it would be highly hypocritical of me to complain about fairness."

Another tinkling laugh greeted his statement as he was finally able to make out what exactly the dot on the horizon was.

It was him.

Albert Wesker and the Dream, Part II

Author's Note: Spoilers for Umbrella Chronicles. Repeat, if you've not played Umbrella Chronicles and you want to. Don't read this chapter and the next! Yeah, I hope people aren't too annoyed with me for using the Dark Legacy section of UC to be analysed by Wesker (Gotta love nerdy scientist monologues), I've tried to avoid making it a simple rehash of events. Apologies to all those who value the pony side over the RE side. Wesker will be awake soon...ish. Enjoy. Love all you guys, especially those who review. *Hint Hint* Beta'd by REV6Pilot

Albert Wesker watched his clone impassively as the latter did exactly the same to the distant Caucasus facility. As he drained the remainder of his glass, he flicked his eyes sideways in the direction of the shadow creature; she was staring at the two of them, clearly waiting to witness the significance of this particular memory. He decided to quiz her whilst he had the chance. "What exactly should I call you, Miss? You weren't exactly forthright with your name."

She smiled, keeping her focus on Wesker's memory. "Names are transient and forgettable, but I suppose you must call me something as a matter of comfort. Call me Dark."

The man sighed. "A tad predictable, don't you think, dear heart?"

A giggle issued forth from her smoky lips."Yet easy to remember."

He smirked in response before the duplicate ended his contemplation and uttered a single sentence – "Chris, it appears our fates are forever intertwined." – before whipping off his trench coat, revealing a black suit identical to the one Wesker himself was currently wearing. The garment spun off behind his doppelganger as he sprinted towards the facility.

Wesker and Dark gave chase. It was clear that this was merely a manifested representation of his memory; he couldn't interact with himself, which was a shame. He'd probably have mentioned the need to keep a grip on sanity and, more importantly, to kill Chris the next time the two met. As he watched the trench coat sail away, a thought struck him. "I'm not certain why I discarded that coat... I suppose I must have an irrepressible flair for the dramatic."

Dark, who was still puzzling over the reference to 'Chris', looked faintly surprised."Yet you seem so severe. Why would you indulge idle fancies such as that?"

Wesker frowned contemplatively. "What is life without a little frivolity every so often? Assuming, of course, that it doesn't impede progress." Dark, having no reply to that, merely nodded as he watched his clone run alongside him.

After a brief moment, she chose to speak, "What was your thought process at this time?"

Wesker realized he would have to explain nearly every facet of this memory to the gliding shadow being. It was almost inconvenient enough to make him choose constant migraines and nausea. "I was merely thinking of the plan I had put into action: to use my old comrades as an unwitting distraction whilst I emerged with the spoils of Sergei's facility."

Dark cocked her head to the side. "No emotions or doubts?"

He snorted in dismissal. "Emotions were not beneficial to my plans," he said, eyes locked over the rims of his shades with the shadow being, "and I never have doubts." She gave a lazy smirk in response. Eventually, they arrived at the facility, and Wesker noted Dark's wonderment at the enormity of the metal construct. "This is just the entrance, Miss Dark. Am I to assume that you belong to the land of the ponies, and not my own?"

Dark nodded, but put her hands to her hip impetuously. "I was merely taken aback. I did not think it would be this large." She curtailed any response by drifting up alongside Wesker's dream equivalent as he walked briskly towards an iron grate. Her look of mild interest turned to one of bemusement as he gripped one of the bars firmly, and finally to one of awe as the grate was ripped from its place and tossed effortlessly aside. She turned to Wesker, eyes wide. "That was fantastic, the power you must possess."

Wesker managed to avoid preening, merely cocking an eyebrow as they continued following. "Yet I'm often told my modesty is my most appealing attribute." He glanced at the empty wine glass and smirked as it refilled. "You don't appear to be too surprised by my true form, considering you've never seen a human before."

Dark shrugged, still visibly reeling from the casual demonstration of strength. "I liked this 'human form', as you call it."She gestured to her own smoky visage."I am old, Albert Wesker, much older than you may think, and I have learned to put surprise on hold when I see opportunity."

Wesker raised his glass in her direction. "A very wise philosophy, and one that, sadly, I rarely get to bear witness to."

She smiled at the compliment."Are all your kind this powerful?"

Wesker shook his head, smirk still firmly in place as he sipped gently at his beverage. "I'm special, dear heart."

Dark shook her head in disbelief, faint smile on her lips. "So I can see, Albert Wesker. It appears your existence will be a real benefit to Equestria."

He snorted. "Give it time, dear heart. I was told that I would be a benefit to my planet when I was 13, and things change. Not to mention that I'm stuck in a pathetic body in your world."

He wondered what her reaction would be to the various BOWs he encountered in this facility – probably small minded disgust, and outright hostility when she discovered his role in creating them. Such a shame, really, they were getting along fabulously. She nodded sympathetically, a gasp interrupting her as three Lickers made their way towards the dream Wesker, barely noticing his 'out of my way, now.'

He handily dispatched all three with consistent headshots before he noticed three zombies lurching towards him from the left, at the same time Dark did. Wesker waited patiently for her reaction, he occupying himself by watching his clone in combat action. He always knew his skill was unmatched, but it really was a pleasure to see it from the third person. Chris and Sheva should have been more grateful. The dream self fired two pinpoint rounds, both nestling in the skulls of his intended victims, before launching a rib crushing punch at the third, causing it to fly across the room and connect with the wall with a sickening crunch, and lay still. Waves of monsters approached, causing the dream Wesker to realize that there had been a security failure in the facility. Chimeras, bats, Hunters, spiders, all were dispatched cautiously by the peerless marksman who surveyed the carnage with barely a reaction. He stepped up to the steel door of the nearby train. "I can use this."

Wesker followed and grabbed the smoky arm of Dark, who was floating, jaw wide open and eyes scanning the monstrous corpses that his past self had left in his wake, dragging her aboard the train. "We have a train to catch, dear heart, do keep up."

Once inside, she turned to him with an expression of utter awe on her face, "What were those things? How did they come to be?"

Wesker cracked his neck without looking in her direction. "I was once a scientist at a pharmaceutical corporation known as Umbrella Incorporate. I worked as a researcher there, in charge of the creation of bio-weaponry. The creatures you see are the results of combining a virus known as the T-Virus with various forms of DNA; I won't bore you with the details, but those 'zombies' that you saw were humans that came into involuntary contact with the virus. The same applies to the spiders." He turned to Dark and pushed his glasses to the bridge of his nose, a tic he had developed when speaking of his research as an Umbrella employee. There were many ambitious, power-hungry scientists at the pharmaceutical company; he could never afford to give away more than he absolutely needed to, and it stuck even afterwards. "That, the chimera, the maggot-infested creature, is the result of human and fly DNA being combined with the virus. You may have noticed the reptilian creatures with sharp claws; those are referred to as hunters, and were created via the combination of reptilian and human DNA infused with the T-virus. Finally, the being with an exposed brain and the long tongue is known colloquially as a licker, for obvious reasons, and is the final evolutionary line of the common zombie." He took a long sip of wine to moisten his dry mouth. "Any questions, Miss Dark?"

Before composing herself, Dark blanched at the influx of information she had been exposed to. "You were responsible for the creation of all these... things?"

Wesker remained externally impassive, but braced himself for the backlash. "Not precisely. I led a team that discovered many of the properties of the T-virus."

Dark nodded, a smile spread across her face."That's incredible; these creatures are incredible."

It was the human's turn to be shocked; he frowned, a solitary eyebrow arched skyward. "What? Are you saying you're not repulsed by these creations?"

Dark shook her head forcefully. "Not in the slightest; they are marvels of science and creation. Only the ignorant would dismiss such works of endeavor."She glanced back at the retreating platform, adding wistfully and almost imperceptibly to herself, "She never had anything like this..."

Wesker's amazement grew exponentially, causing him to practically ignore the excerpt at the end, but he remained austere on the exterior. His brain chose this moment to remind him of something Dark had said earlier: 'With you, I felt that someone had finally arrived with the potential to upset their 'harmony'. Perhaps she was merely trying to gain his favor so that he would be more willing to do her bidding... or maybe he had found someone in this world of humdrum peace-loving ponies with the same degree of groundbreaking vision as himself. Stranger things had happened.

"I was expecting you," his dream self sneered as the train roof fell inwards due to the Chimeras invading. Wesker wished he could say the same about his current scenario.

Albert Wesker and the Dream, Final Part

Author's Note: Sorry about the massive delay people, uni work arrived and gave me a severe beating. My wounds have only just healed. Last chapter of the dream, then we're back to Ponyville.

Whilst Dark busied herself with examining the memory unfold as the dream Wesker dispatched further waves of enemies breaking through the steel train roof, the real entity found himself watching her closely. She was certainly an unknown quantity and Wesker loathed unknown quantities, however affable they were. He had spent his entire life concocting plans which realised the mindsets and goals of others and reacted accordingly. Mere titbits of veiled information were not satisfactory for Wesker whilst he was going about creating a new stratagem to suit his current circumstances. The solution to this problem, he decided, was to ascertain more about this mysterious character.

"Miss Dark." He began, watching amusedly as the shadow being reluctantly tore her gaze away from the memory of his impeccable combat techniques to face him, "I wish to learn more about you, I find my current knowledge surrounding you to be unsatisfactory and considering that I am consenting to this." Wesker waved his arm to indicate their position inside his memories, "I feel it only fair that you allow me this indulgence."

Dark let out a small laugh, "Do you not find it ironic that a man such as yourself is calling upon the idea of 'fairness' in order to convince me to divulge details about myself?"

Wesker didn't hesitate, "No."

She sighed, "Bear in mind that what I choose to share is at my own discretion, if I do not wish to answer then I will say so."

Wesker folded his arms across his chest, "That sounds fair enough, though I will press if I feel some answers you give are too evasive or partial."

Dark's smoky mouth turned up at the corners, "It is not normal for two participants in a conversation to lay down the rules of their chat beforehand, is it?"

This time, Wesker returned her smirk, "No."

At that moment his parallel self crushed the skull of an attacking hunter is the heel of his palm before muttering, "Hmph. Small fry." Wesker recollected that the train would soon reach its final destination and jerked his head towards the side door in order to signal to Dark that the ride would be over soon. His instincts and memory, as always, proved correct as the dream Wesker noticed the screeching of the train's brakes and pontificated aloud, "What's this?"

"The end of the line" Wesker replied to himself, averting his gaze to Dark, "My first question revolves around your age. How old are you?"

She smiled pleasantly, "Thousands of years old, Albert Wesker, I was brought into existence by the Discord amongst ponies."

Wesker nodded once, that was surprisingly easy, perhaps this wouldn't become the interrogation he had anticipated. Stepping off the train at the same time his duplicate did, he offered Dark a hand to assist her as she stepped off the locomotive but she merely giggled and floated over his head, poking her tongue out as she did so and drawing a raised eyebrow and from the black-clad former scientist. He surveyed the vast drop in front of him concurrently with his clone as Dark looked on in confusion, his clone piped up "Hmm, a shortcut..." which only increased the smoky creature's bemusement before both Weskers leapt across the vast chasm the train had narrowly avoided plunging down. Landing on a concrete alcove, Wesker turned and faced the startled Dark with a widening smirk on his face as he waited smugly for her to drift across and join him, occupying himself by casually examining his doppelganger handily dispatching rampant B.O.W.'s. Eventually she reached him and he resumed his questioning.

"What exactly do you hope to achieve by this minute assessment of me?"

"I want to know how you think, why you act like you act Albert Wesker, I believe I made that apparent earlier."

Wesker snorted, "You did indeed dear heart, what wasn't apparent was your motivation."

Dark hesitated as she drifted alongside him whilst he leapt from increment to increment along the sides of the enormous silo, "I already told you I wished to disrupt the harmony of the ponies, no-one has ever discovered their true worth in such circumstances, adversity defines an individual." She paused and Wesker nodded in an attempt to encourage her onwards, "It is the goal I was born to achieve and I have strove to do so for years, my previous attempt involved a partner who I believed shared the same target as myself but ultimately betrayed me. I will not make the same mistake again; I need to know that you and I are compatible in our aims."

Wesker stroked his chin thoughtfully as he landed on an indentation on the vast silo walls, only a few feet above the vast metal door which constituted the floor, "So you wish to ensure that I will co-operate in your scheme to bring disharmony to Equestria but I have to ask one more question..." He examined her over the rims of his shades, "What would I gain from it?"

Dark twirled a lock of jet black hair between her thumb and forefinger, "Power, of course. Power over an entire world and the restoration of your true form but I need to know that I am not idly bestowing my trust upon another who lacks the prerequisites to truly bring change to this pathetic world so I will examine your memories, your highs and lows, everything that makes you Albert Wesker and if I like what I see then you and I shall rebuild this world in whatever form pleases us."

Wesker's features remained blank as he digested this revelation before a faint smile appeared upon his lips as he drank the remainder of his almost-forgotten wine glass before making the flute disappear. "Then I hope to meet your expectations", then the smile disappeared and his face reverted to being stony, "but know this: I will not be a sidekick or lackey; any partnership, assuming I will indeed accept your offer when it comes, will be on my terms and it will be of mutual benefit to us both, I'm sure."

Another laugh bubbled up from the recesses of Dark's throat, "You certainly seem confident that you will meet my expectations, this is good. However, you needn't worry about being on a lower keel than me; it would be an equal partnership." Wesker nodded at Dark's words before she carried on, "Any more questions?"

Wesker pontificated briefly and then shook his head lightly, "None more for tonight, I believe you still have to examine the memory we are currently in, Sergei is about to arrive if I recall correctly."

Two bullets pinged off the metallic floor, confirming Wesker's suspicions, as his dream self readied his silenced handgun. A heavily accented Russian voice issued forth from the thickly built, steely-haired man who had entered the room, "Comrade Wesker. Welcome to my humble abode."

The dream Wesker remained utterly impassive as he replied, "I see you are still resolved to go down with the ship, Colonel." Eliciting a sharp rebuttal from the Umbrella figure which ended with him criticising Wesker for not understanding, it was a conversation which Wesker had found dull at the time and replaying it hardly increased its appeal but Dark stood transfixed, waiting for the real Wesker to sketch in the details just as his clone replied once more, "Stand aside."

Eventually, Sergei introduced 'two old friends' who turned out to be Tyrants in long, white coats. Wesker felt a small amount of pride as his deadpan response of "charmed" evoked a giggle from Dark, it was far better when someone was around to appreciate his wit. Then the battle began in earnest and Dark signalled that she wished to hear more about Sergei, as his dream self zipped at astronomical speeds around the concrete complex to avoid the raw power of the two tyrants attacking him.

"That was Vladimir Sergei, a fool who still believed that Umbrella was worth saving, his blind loyalty would have admirable if it wasn't both moronic and inconvenient to my plans. Though I suppose his decision to hoard the combined database of Umbrella here was incredibly beneficial, even if his opposition to me acquiring it was not. An arrogant smirk appeared on Wesker's face as he faced Dark, "He isn't important if you're here to psychologically analyse me, his role was short lived... as you'll see."

Dark waved a hand to acknowledge the information before turning her attention back to Wesker's epic confrontation with the duo of Tyrants, which culminated in Wesker firing pistol rounds squarely between the eyes of both, tossing a grenade which staggered them and then launching himself at the pair of them with neck-shattering force. Wesker's clone stepped neatly over the pair of corpses, not looking back as he strode purposefully towards the elevator, his real-life counterpart doing the same, taking only a moment to examine both the bodies and Dark's comically awed expression.

"Come on dear heart, no time to dawdle."

They journeyed on through the facility, tailing his clone. Occasionally Dark would ask for some point of minor clarification and Wesker would answer as precisely as he could; eventually, she asked a question which didn't revolve around some seemingly vital psychological point, just as they were about to reach the moment where he confronted Sergei for the final time. "Why do you talk to yourself so often Albert Wesker?"

Wesker lazily raised an eyebrow, "It's a memory dear heart, I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to stop it if you find it irritating."

She shook her head dismissively, "I do not find it irritating, I merely wish to know."

Wesker shrugged, "I find it focuses the mind. Not to mention that keeping such witticisms and poetic musings bottled up would be a crime against expression." She gave him a scathing look and Wesker allowed the faintest of smirks to cross his lips, "Do you not agree?"

She examined him closely for a few silent seconds before shaking her head and drifting towards the scene of Wesker and Sergei's final confrontation, "You are an unusual man, Albert Wesker."

Wesker remained silent as they came through the door and witnessed himself face to face with Colonel Vladimir Sergei. The two exchanged words and Dark glanced towards Wesker as they discussed the Red Queen, he mouthed the word 'later' and she nodded before turning her attention back to the scene unfolding before her. Dark reacted visibly as Sergei mutated into a hideously deformed tentacle-wielding monster, whilst Wesker remained as unreadable as his doppelganger, his only reaction being a single sentence, "Your lack of creativity disappoints me, I expected more from you."

An intense, frenetic battle then unfolded and Dark was riveted by it, taking in every facet of the extreme action with wide eyes. Wesker was merely bored by it, he had already experienced it once and Sergei's degenerating sanity and spouting of fanatical gibberish rankled with him. After a great deal of gunfire, explosions and of course, quips, Sergei lay dead at Wesker's feet and the ex-Umbrella employee walked past the corpse of his former superior to reach his ultimate prize.

"The summation of Umbrella on one disk... This should come in handy."

Wesker glanced sidelong at Dark, "That was the pinnacle of all I had set out to achieve, the realisation of my ambitions... but merely the start of a much bigger goal."

She silently responded in the affirmative as Wesker watched himself begin the total deletion of the Red Queen, "Goodbye, fair lady." He then strode off confidently with the data disk tucked neatly into a side pocket on his jacket, Dark and the real Wesker following in his wake. Eventually, they all found themselves in the open air and both the shadow creature and the superhuman in the black suit observed as Wesker's doppelganger fired a pistol shot to unbolt a large industrial hook, which he then used to propel himself to the top of some large metal scaffolding before leaping away into the distance.

Dark turned to Wesker, "This has been most informative, I believe it will be a pleasure to learn about you Albert Wesker."

Wesker inclined his head slightly, "Indeed, Miss Dark, and the complimentary wine was most satisfactory." She giggled in response as Wesker continued, "I assume I shall be seeing you the next time I go to sleep?" She nodded, smile still in place, "I look forward to it then, dear heart, try not to cause any headaches or nausea whilst I'm gone."

She gave a mischievous grin, "I promise nothing."

And with that, Albert Wesker re-entered the world of consciousness.

Albert Wesker and the Hospital

Author’s note: Ponies. Ponies everywhere. We are indeed back in Equestria, should be interesting. I think I’m doing a pretty good job but let me know if I’m not... or if I am. I live for your feedback people!

Wesker groaned as his senses were overwhelmed by his awakening, the light felt like tiny blades cutting into his retinas and the ambient sounds of birdsong and distant ponies milling to and fro sounded astronomically loud to his sensitive ears. The sensation was unerringly similar to when he first recovered consciousness after his death, and with that precedent firmly in mind, he decided to ignore the world around him and settled for introspection.

How uncharacteristic of you, Albert.

Wesker frowned, what was that supposed to mean?

Ignore him Al; he’s just being an ass.

Wesker growled and decided to confront his situation, living inside his head was becoming increasingly irritating, even his internal voices were beginning to make errors of judgement. His surroundings were pure white, sterile and dull, which led him to conclude that he was in a hospital of some sort. He loathed hospitals. Probably because they reminded him of imperfection and weakness; after his ascension to the pinnacle of existence they hadn’t been worthy of his attention anymore. A god did not get sick or injured but now here he was, infirm and useless, it was enough to make want to trade in his humanity again. Certainly he would take another violent death if it meant he could avoid the indignity of being reminded of his own mortality.

That’s not normal, Al.

Wesker smirked, he aimed to please. Eventually, he managed to sit up in an upright position and ignore the pounding in his eardrums, as well as the disgustingly persistent taste of vomit at the back of his throat, it certainly wasn’t the most desirable of states to be in.

Understatement.

Natural light was streaming in through the window and illuminated the room he was in; it was a fairly basic affair: Crisp white sheets on a simple steel-frame bed, a pair of glasses and a pot of flowers on a pine side-table and a pissed-off megalomaniac with no way to occupy his time other than to wait for someone to visit him. Wesker sighed, how had he gone from being on the brink of establishing a new world order to throwing up outside a bakery and going to hospital?

Bad luck?

He decided to go with that, over-thinking it would just anger him and he definitely knew that he could do without an outburst here. Things tended to get broken or die when that happened... Or get broken and die. He resolved to divert his thoughts elsewhere and pontificated as to the exact time, it was still light outside so he assumed his little foray into unconsciousness, and enlightening discussion with Dark, had lasted a couple of hours. All of a sudden, Wesker heard voices approaching from the corridor.

“You say he was in here, nurse Redheart?” That sounded unmistakably like Twilight, the thought of at least having some company in this horrid building provided Wesker with a small degree of satisfaction though he was fairly certain that he would have coped without it. What gave him greater hope was the possibility that the lavender unicorn had brought a book to read, that certainly would pierce his inertia more effectively than any idle chit-chat. Feeling useless rankled with Albert Wesker, more so than pretty much any other embarrassment he had suffered. Unfortunately, this brought back unpleasant memories of the corneal abrasion which had resulted in his hyper-sensitivity to light. Wesker was only 15 at the time though his intelligence was still incredibly advanced; he had been considered a gifted child.

Not gifted enough to keep your experiments away from your eyeballs Albert.

When Twilight finally entered his hospital room with a pure white pony sporting a red cross on her flank alongside her, Wesker had worked himself into a strange mood, something which both occupants of the room noticed straight away.

“Oh, you’re awake Albert, how are you feeling?” Twilight’s tone was light and faintly teasing, causing Wesker to lessen his scowl, only slightly.

“Just fine, dear heart.” He folded his hooves across his chest, “I do enjoy feeling obsolete and sitting pointlessly in a pen for the diseased.”

Nurse Redheart clucked her tongue whilst Twilight hid a smile behind a hoof, “Now now Mr Wesker, no need to get tetchy, you gave us all quite the scare outside Sugarcube Corner. I’m Nurse Redheart; you’re just here to make sure that everything is just fine.”

Wesker raised an eyebrow, grabbing his shades from the rickety bedside table, “I assume saying that I am just fine will not be sufficient?”

Nurse Redheart smiled, “We need to be certain you’re alright, you were out for quite a long time.”

Wesker stroked his chin, “I was? Well, what time is it?

“It’s 7 o’clock, Mr Wesker.”

Wesker snorted, “A couple of hours are nothing Miss Redheart, certainly nothing worth confining me in a whitewashed prison for.”

Twilight jumped in to prevent the nurse from adding to her patient’s list of woes, “It’s 7 o’ clock in the morning Albert, you’ve been unconscious for over 12 hours. We were at your bedside up until about 10 but Nurse Redheart said you were stable and we should all get some shuteye. I decided I would visit you in the morning and... Here I am.”

Wesker grimaced, “It appears I am allergic to parties dear heart.” He cracked the joints in his neck, “I had my suspicions.” He examined the purple mare over the top of his shades, “I appreciate your concern but if losing my memory left me physically unaffected then unceremoniously depositing cake and punch into a bush was always unlikely to leave a mark.”
Twilight giggled then looked at Wesker askew, “you’re in an unusual mood today.”

Wesker spread his front hooves disarmingly, “Honestly Miss Twilight? I dislike hospitals.” He cast a sidelong glance at Nurse Redheart, smirking faintly, “No offence Miss Redheart.” The pure white earth pony sighed dramatically and ran a hoof through her bubblegum pink mane before smiling and waving the aforementioned appendage dismissively, allowing Wesker to continue, “You mentioned before that amnesiacs may recover memories from random stimuli?” At her questioning look he pushed his shades up to the bridge of his nose and sighed irritably, “Not as eloquently perhaps but you made the general point. Not all memories they recover are pleasant.” He looked around the blandly featured hospital room and thought of all the days spent testing his near-shattered vision, the excruciating pain he had experienced when disregarding his doctor’s advice for the first time and accidentally looking directly into one of the cheap bulbs without his glasses on.

Twilight noticed the increasingly dark scowl spreading across the blond maned earth pony and quickly sought to redirect his thoughts, “So, do you know why you were so ill at Pinkie’s party?” Perhaps that was slightly too quick, it was hardly a cheerier subject for Wesker to consider but it served its intended purpose.

Sorry to say it, Al but you definitely can’t tell the truth here, unless you want to stay in here forever with a nice strait-jacket thrown in for free.

“I’m not entirely certain.” He arched an eyebrow in the direction of the nurse, “I assume that’s why I’m being kept here, to ensure no relapse or possibility of contagion.

Nurse Redheart nodded, “I’m sorry to inconvenience you Mr Wesker, but the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.”

Wesker smirked, how idealistic, “Normally I would agree with you Miss Redheart but when the one is myself then I tend to think quite differently.

Redheart rolled her eyes, “I’m sure, Mr Wesker.” She started strolling towards the door, stopping briefly to address the pair of them “Twilight, you have about half an hour before I need to run some routine examinations on Mr Wesker.” The pink-maned mare then turned to Wesker, “Normally I wouldn’t say this to a first-time patient but don’t try to leave!” Wesker sighed and pretended to mull this over before giving a mock salute and settling down in the bed to prove his willingness to stay, causing Redheart to smile and shake her head before exiting.

Wesker was restless, it’s not like he was usually lazy but something about hospitals aggravated him and put him even more on edge. Luckily it was Twilight who had come to visit him and as the most intelligent of the ponies he had met since his impromptu arrival in Ponyville, she was capable of realising this. “Albert... you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to but what was the memory that resurfaced when you woke up in the hospital?”

The former S.T.A.R.S. captain put a hoof to his forehead in contemplation, how much did he wish to divulge? He supposed that he could give the memory without context but that seemed as though he were confiding in her, an act which suggested weakness even to himself and that seemed intolerable. But despite her gentle approach, he assumed that Twilight would not take ‘no’ for an answer, she probably believed it would be healthier for him to express his feelings.

Don’t pretend you have any Albert.

Ultimately, he gave in, “Fine. When I was younger, I was a burgeoning chemist and I was taking part in a University level practical experiment... To summarise, it went wrong. I suffered a great deal of damage to my eyes and when they eventually healed, I was hyper-sensitive to light and had to wear darkened glasses.” He tapped the side of his shades, “Much like these.”

Twilight looked at Wesker sympathetically, which certainly didn’t help his rapidly disintegrating mood, “I’m so sorry to hear that Albert. I’m guessing your eyes healed on their own eventually?” Wesker nodded, that was close enough to the truth... he was hardly about to tell her the actual way in which his sight was fully restored. A small smile spread across Twilight’s face as she found a diversionary tactic, “So you used to be a scientist then?”

Wesker nodded, “So it would appear.”

“Then I’ll be sure to bring some scientific books the next time I visit, I’ve got a couple of the books from your saddlebag for you to read whilst you’re here.”

At least he could be pathetic, mortal and occupied, rather than just pathetic and mortal. “My thanks Miss Twilight; they will hopefully make the time spent here pass more rapidly.”

The purple unicorn’s grin grew wider, “It’s no problem, with all these excellent books I’m sure the time will fly by!” Wesker arched a cynical eyebrow, “What? It doesn’t hurt to be optimistic you know!”

Wesker barked out a laugh, “The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.”

Albert Wesker and the Unexpected Visitors

Author’s note: Thanks to everyone who’s been reading, reviewing and commenting, you rock my world.

Wesker and Twilight exchanged amicable conversation for a few more minutes before Nurse Redheart shooed the lavender unicorn from the room and turned to the former human. “Okay Mr Wesker, I’m just going to examine your vitals in order to get an idea of your general health.”

Wesker removed his shades, placing them gently on his bedside cabinet and letting out an exaggerated sigh. He fixed his gaze on the pink-maned medical pony, “Is this really necessary? Don’t you think my condition would already have worsened had I been suffering from anything serious?”

The nurse matched Wesker’s stare, “In my line of work, I find it wise to assume nothing. You may feel fine but that’s no guarantee of well-being. Twilight told me you were highly intelligent, surely you know that I’m going to release you until I know that there’s no risk of you endangering yourself or others with any possible disease?”

Wesker slumped in the bed, “I knew, I just thought it was worth an attempt.”

Redheart rolled her eyes before retrieving a stethoscope from the pocket of her uniform, “Well, nice try Mr Wesker but you’ll be subjected to a full examination before I allow you to just walk out of here.”

Wesker bared his teeth faintly, “Subjected seems an appropriate choice of words.”

“Hush you and let me do my job.” The former scientist begrudgingly complied, wincing only slightly at the feel of cold metal on his bare chest area and watching blankly as Nurse Redheart counted the heartbeats. “Heart rate: Normal.” She then moved around the bed slightly and placed the amplification device at the top of Wesker’s back, parallel to his lungs, “breathe in please.” Wesker complied once more, eager to escape the dreary prison he was trapped in. “Breathing: normal, you have a very healthy set of lungs Mr Wesker.”

Wesker ran a hoof through his blond mane in mock relief, “Well Miss Redheart that certainly counteracts my theory that I am allergic to oxygen, thank goodness.”

Redheart narrowed her eyes, “Yet we have no idea whether you’re allergic to being bludgeoned by a stethoscope, shall we test that too to allay your fears?”

The blond earth pony raised his hooves placatingly, smirk firmly in place “Whilst I appreciate your concern, I believe I shall have to live the rest of my life without knowing whether or not I do.”

The pink maned earth pony smirked at Wesker in return, “Not if you keep antagonising medical personnel.” Wesker arched an eyebrow but remained silent, raising a wry smile from Nurse Redheart. “Can you cough please Mr Wesker?” Wesker made no attempt to hide his impatience but obeyed nonetheless as Redheart frowned in concentration, “It appears all your vitals check out.”

Wesker retrieved his shades from the bedside table and went to exit his prone position on the bed, “Fantastic, it’s been a pleasure Miss Redheart.”

The medical mare sighed and put a hoof on the blond pony’s chest, pushing him gently and firmly back onto the divan. “We’re not finished yet, Mr Wesker. I just need a blood sample then if the test results come back clear then you’re free to go, though it would be appreciated if you came back to see me tomorrow.”

Wesker angled his head to the side, “How could I resist, dear heart?”

Redheart gave a small smile whilst retrieving a needle from another cavity in her white coat, “You can’t charm your way out of this one, Mr Wesker.”

“A pity.” The removal of his blood via suction was relatively rapid and painless; once it was finished he shot an inquisitive look at the nurse, “When will the results come back?”

Nurse Redheart grazed an absent-minded hoof across her chin as she pondered the question, “Before noon, hopefully.”
Wesker froze. “Sometime in the next four hours then?” She nodded, “I have to spend four hours here?” She nodded again, a flicker of irritation passing across her features. He sighed wearily, “The wonders of modern medicine.”

She rolled her eyes again, “Just be grateful I used a needle to extract your blood.”

Ha, she zinged you Al, she zinged you good.

With that she bid Wesker farewell, reminding him that he could contact her should anything be amiss by pressing the red button on the right hand side of his bedpost and that he certainly shouldn’t try to escape. Once she had departed, Wesker picked up one of the books that Twilight had left: ‘Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide’, hopefully this would while away the hours until his blood test came back clear and he could leave this awful place.

Yes, it’s clean and safe. How awful, Albert.

The blond former-human ignored Critical and settled down with the weighty tome:

Just then, a voice echoed from the hallway. One which Wesker recognised... “You say he was just in here, Nurse Redheart? My thanks.” Rarity materialised in the doorframe, shadowed by Fluttershy, “Darling, we heard what happened and decided to pop in and see if you were all right. We were worried sick, weren’t we Fluttershy?”

The yellow pegasus smiled timidly, “Yes.”

Wesker repressed the urge to sigh; he had never had visitors on the few previous occasions he had been in hospital, even his own parents hadn’t deemed him worthy of a visit when he’d nearly blinded himself. It seemed as though he should be grateful for the two mares checking upon his well-being, anxiety over his condition from others was not something he was accustomed to. “Well you needn’t concern yourselves; I am sufficiently healthy and merely need to wait for my blood test to confirm this.”

Rarity scrutinised Wesker closely as Fluttershy cringed lightly at the mention of blood, then the marshmallow coloured unicorn delivered her verdict, “You certainly look well enough, though I suppose it doesn’t hurt to be careful.”

Wesker nodded half-heartedly in agreement as Fluttershy was fretting over the minute pinprick on the blond pony’s front leg, “Ooh, they took your blood? Did they use a needle? Did it hurt? Are you okay? I hope you’re okay.”

Wesker glanced from the almost unperceivable blemish on his skin back to the shy mare’s concerned features, “I’ll survive, Miss Fluttershy... somehow.” He noticed the Fashionista still examining him and raised an eyebrow in her direction, “Can I help you with something, Miss Rarity?”

The unicorn gave a sheepish grin, “My apologies Albert but what exactly happened when you ran out of the party? Both myself and Fluttershy are all at sea over what went on.”

Wesker pushed his shades up to the bridge of his nose, “I’m not entirely sure Miss Rarity but without wanting to go too far into the intimate details, I deposited the contents of my stomach into the nearest foliage... Then I lost consciousness.” He cocked his head to the side in consideration as Rarity attempted valiantly to hide her disgust at the idea of vomiting, “I suppose the method of my arrival into Ponyville is unknown, perhaps I hit my head with considerable force and garnered concussion. It would certainly explain both the amnesia and the vomiting. I also assume the amount of sleep I recently achieved will have helped with the recovery process.” The former S.T.A.R.S. captain felt proud of himself for coming up with such a viable excuse so rapidly, his intellect was still as sharp as ever.

Shame your lies won’t achieve anything anymore, Albert.

Wesker frowned.

Short term goals, Al.

Short term goal: Don’t get run out of Ponyville by telling everyone about the shadow creature in your head. It seemed perfectly logical. Luckily, Rarity and Fluttershy both seemed receptive to his theory until the pure white mare frowned as a thought occurred to her, “Do you know why Rainbow ran out after you?”

Wesker carefully avoided a sneer at the mention of the multi-coloured pegasus’ name, “Miss Rainbow was merely checking that I was well.” The shy pegasus and the dressmaker shared a look, “Does that seem so improbable?”

“Well... it’s just that...” Fluttershy stumbled over her words as she attempted to remain diplomatic.

“The two of you didn’t appear to get along all that well.” Rarity finished for her, Fluttershy giving her meek agreement.

Wesker ran a hoof through his mane as he considered how best to phrase his reply, “We may have our differences of opinion during the course of the party.” He valiantly ignored the looks of disbelief he was getting from his present company, “And we may have had a... disagreement before I succumbed to whatever mystery condition I previously had but we had reached an accord.” He paused as he attempted to find a follow-up point, “She went to get help when I collapsed, did she not?” The fact that the pair of mares looked stunned at the idea that anypony would leave somepony, even somepony they disliked, to suffer suggested to Wesker that he was in a world far more innocent and peaceful than the one which he had loathed so much before his untimely and, in his opinion, tragic death.

Rarity looked beseechingly at Wesker “You didn’t actually think that Rainbow Dash would leave you in that state, did you Albert?”

Wesker remained impassive but internally cursed for even mentioning it, “Of course not, Miss Rarity, I was merely making a hypothetical point. How is Miss Rainbow?”

Fluttershy still looked ill at ease but Rarity seized upon the chance for ‘gossip’ with unnerving enthusiasm, leaning in towards a taken-aback Wesker “Well, she seemed glad that you were going to be okay when she found out. Though, if I were you Albert, I’d be careful.” All of Wesker’s finely tuned instincts were practically vibrating with tension as he waited for Rarity to continue, “Her and Pinkie have teamed up to prank the good people of Ponyville, I doubt even your recent illness will make you safe from them.”

The former human just about managed to avoid letting out a sigh of relief as he smirked, “I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for them, though I doubt Miss Rainbow would risk another prank on me.”

Rarity and Fluttershy giggled lightly as the latter went to speak out in agreement, only to be interrupted by the arrival of a medical pony whose presence was sudden and unannounced, “Right.” She began, “That’s half an hour, until we get Mr Wesker’s blood test results back then we have to minimize the chance of any disease passing to anypony else. “

Wesker bid his visitors as fond a farewell as his inherent personality allowed before hefting his book to eye level, Fluttershy turned as she walked from the room and clocked the title of the volume that the blond earth pony was indulging in, “Oh the elements of harmony, feel free to ask any of us about them anytime, we all represented a different one when we defeated Nightmare Moon.”

Wesker made a non-committal noise of confirmation and his two visitors departed the room. It was only 20 seconds later, once he’d read the basic description of the elements of harmony in the introduction that his brain gave him a rather sizeable nudge and he turned to the nurse:

“Wait, what did she just say?”

Albert Wesker and the Search For Answers

Albert Wesker and the Search for Answers

Author’s Note: Sorry about the massive delay, people, university has kept me very busy I’m afraid. This chapter may seem a bit convoluted or pointless but it’s important to see Wesker’s thought process in action, he thinks very differently from myself and so I need to ‘get under his skin’ as much as I can. Sorry if that sounded a tad pretentious but hey, it’s your fault for encouraging me. :P

Nurse Redheart looked at Wesker’s startled features with a certain degree of confusion, “Did you not know? Those six ponies are quite famous around these parts, stopped Nightmare Moon when she returned last Summer Sun Celebration. They’re not really the type to brag though.” At Wesker’s sceptical counter-stare she relented, “Apart from Rainbow Dash.”
Wesker frowned as he considered the implications of this revelation; did that make his newly met acquaintances superhuman?

Superpony, Al...

Whatever, he was far too busy to contemplate semantics. What exactly was the source of their power? Was it simply the elements of harmony themselves? Could he harness that power for himself? Would he even be capable of utilising these elements? There was only one way to find out more, the very book he was holding. He was so enraptured by his musings that he hadn’t even noticed a slightly unnerved Nurse Redheart leaving the room. He drank in the knowledge contained within the pages of the tome; for the first time since his arrival in this bizarre land, Albert Wesker had a true purpose... he was certainly not going to allow it to elude his grasp.

A couple of hours or so later, Wesker had only a slight increase in his understanding of the Elements of Harmony but he had a potentially crucial puzzle piece in that he vaguely understood what Dark meant when she said she was created by ‘The Discord amongst ponies’. This Discord character was the physical representation of chaos, which would explain Dark’s vested interest in disrupting the harmony of Equestria. Apparently this Discord was defeated by the princesses Celestia and Luna both using the elements of Harmony in tandem to vanquish their foe and create a regime of peace in Equestria until Luna rebelled and was sealed in the moon, again by the fabled elements. It was abundantly clear to Wesker that whatever forms this mystical power took; its potential was incredibly high. Unfortunately, from what he could deduce, it seemed as though one had to represent the elements which comprised harmony itself: Loyalty, Honesty, Generosity, Laughter, Kindness and a mysterious sixth element which apparently only revealed itself once the other five were aligned.

It appears unlikely that one such as you would be worthy of controlling such power, Albert.

Wesker lowered the book with a sour expression on his face. If those were the components of one’s character needed to utilise them then the elements of harmony would no doubt remain beyond his reach for all eternity. He resented having such a tantalising promise of power ripped away by his inherent character. What was the point of bequeathing such a potent weapon to those who probably had no disposition towards using it? He would care to venture that the only time the elements were utilised were in the defeat of those who actually had a little ambition beyond banality, it angered him. What a waste of potential; nothing aggravated Wesker more than wasted potential.

Apart from CHRRISSSSSSSSS!!!

Wesker rolled his eyes whilst examining his book, the reminder of that particular moment of insanity was certainly not appreciated.

Apparently, these elements had been used three times and this book only documented two of the occasions, making him realise that the occurrence which Fluttershy mentioned must have taken place fairly recently.

His confinement in this bland place took on a new level of irritation; he needed to ask his six newly met acquaintances about these elements of harmony as soon as he could. Wesker came to the logical conclusion that he should ask either Twilight Sparkle or Fluttershy first, the former would have the most complete and intelligent summary of what exactly occurred and the latter would be far less likely to react to any pressure he exerted in gleaning facets of the story that he was perhaps not meant to know. It was fairly simple for Wesker to ascertain which ponies corresponded to which elements, in particular the insufferable Rainbow Dash’s Loyalty, and Laughter, which needed no real rumination. He assumed that the meek yellow pegasus represented Kindness, the rough-and-tumble farm pony was indicative of Honesty and that the fashionista was the embodiment of Generosity. This left Miss Sparkle as the bearer of the mystery element, the most powerful and unknown of all six... That certainly aided him in deciding who to visit first.

Because you just want to know more, right Al?

A cruel smirk tickled the corners of Wesker’s mouth.

Right, Al??

It wasn’t unreasonable to say that the former S.T.A.R.S. captain simply wanted to know more, he merely wished to use that knowledge at a later date, for his own purposes; the prospect of having the power to rise above his ludicrous current position was tempting to say the least. Perhaps he had been brought to Equestria for a purpose, attaining these elements would certainly raise him to a position rivalling what he had hoped to achieve before his demise.

Ever heard of hubris, Al?

Wesker sneered; his death was not the result of poetic justice or ‘karma’, he had not perished because he had overreached his limits. His death was the simple result of carelessness and his own megalomania, a mistake he would not repeat. Furthermore, the power he could glean from the elements seemed infinitely more immaculate than what his ascension to would-be godhood promised; perhaps these elements were what made Celestia immortal? Perhaps that same attribute would be bestowed upon him once he obtained them for himself.

If you can, Albert. It seems it would be wise to develop your loyalty and honesty.

Very unlikely... there was a route around that issue, he was sure of it, this world was so bland and its denizens so inherently kind-hearted that he could easily run his machinations without fear of interruption, it would be effortless compared to the non-stop suspicion he faced whilst working at Umbrella. All his covert operations would be meaningless, however, unless he found out exactly what it was he needed to do to gain the power which lurked tantalisingly close and that in turn involved leaving this accursed hospital! He lowered his book once more, confident that he had gleaned all he could without further illumination from certain Ponyville citizens. He glanced up at the clock which ticked so slowly that Wesker almost interpreted it as insolent, did it not realise that he had vital things to do and important places to be? It was around half past eleven and his blood test results had still not returned, the only way he would deem that acceptable is if Rainbow had had some sort of accident and was being attended to in lieu of him. Sadly, it appeared the universe to oblivious to his continuing wishes for ill health on the pegasus’ part and so he scowled as he leaned back in his hospital bed before a thought struck him... what if his blood tests revealed that he was not meant to be in this land? What if some anomaly showed up and revealed him for what he was? Even the best case scenario would involve Nurse Redheart wanting to keep him around for further tests to try and ascertain what made him different from other ponies; he doubted that the truth would be taken well. Torches and pitchforks came to mind... he was an alien essentially.

How is that different to what you were before you died, Al?

That did nothing to assuage his fears, when someone found out his true nature before he came to Equestria they either dealt with it or he killed them, an option which was sadly lacking in this world... or was it?

Al...

Yes it was, he lacked the astronomical abilities he possessed before, he would probably get tired after he’d got into double figures of pony corpses. Weight of numbers had him undone.

Sheesh Al, I thought we’d gotten past this whole psychopath thing.

He preferred the term ‘ruthlessly efficient’ but society liked to hit the panic button and label things that didn’t conform to what it demanded. Regardless, he had a problem, these tests could curtail his time in Equestria or, at the very least, make it incredibly difficult. This was the reason that Wesker tensed violently as Nurse Redheart suddenly appeared in the doorway. She looked at the former S.T.A.R.S captain with a mixture of confusion and concern.

“Are you all right, Mr Wesker?”

Wesker cracked the joints in his neck, mildly embarrassed to have reacted so strongly, “Indeed, you merely startled me. I assume you have the results of my blood test?”

She nodded once, “Indeed I do, Mr Wesker.”

To be continued...

Albert Wesker and the Plan in Motion

Author’s Note: Thanks again for the feedback, you’re all lovely people. Fan art for this story was drawn by xBubba1995x and I am greatly honoured, if anyone has similar drawings then don’t be afraid to send it my way. I can’t do science btw, so this chapter probably isn’t very technically proficient.

Wesker held his breath as Nurse Redheart scanned the clipboard which held his blood test results; a great deal of inconvenience could arise from this and perhaps for the first time in his unnatural life he wished to be as bland and ordinary as any other citizens around him.

The pink-maned mare glanced up, noticed the stallion’s tense stance and offered a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry Mr Wesker, you’re perfectly healthy.” All of the tension drained out of Wesker as he returned her smile with one of his own, “but your blood cells are unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.” The tension returned with a vengeance as he stared blankly at the nurse, carefully marshalling his features to prevent revealing his sudden apprehension.

“What do you mean, Miss Redheart?”

The medical pony once more grinned in a benign fashion, assuaging Wesker’s fears only slightly, “As I said, it’s certainly nothing to concern yourself with but it appears as though your red blood cells are infinitely more healthy and active than any I’ve ever seen, I did some brief tests and it seems they are actually capable of repairing themselves.”

Wesker frowned, “Tell me the intricate scientific details and trust me when I tell you that I will understand.”

Redheart looked slightly taken aback but her obvious excitement at such a discovery overrode her suspicions and she began talking at a lightning pace which reminded Wesker of Birkin in full flow, “Essentially, your blood cells contain both a nucleus and mitochondria, rather than maturing in seven days after being produced in your bone marrow and then eventually being broken down by your white blood cells, they are able to reproduce and fix any damage which may occur.”

Wesker briefly forgot his fears of persecution and began to join Redheart in the thrill of scientific discovery, even though he had been in this situation before, after his resurrection, “Meaning that, if the effect is replicated in other parts of my system, I am capable of rapidly regenerating any wounds I sustain.”

The pure white earth pony nodded enthusiastically as Wesker realised that at least one remnant of his superhuman abilities remained and the only pony who knew was as fascinated by it as he was. A plan instantly appeared at the forefront of his mind, “Miss Redheart, I assume that this captivating phenomenon may have occurred via some sort of magical catastrophe, perhaps the very same that was responsible for wiping my memory.” He smiled pleasantly whilst his brain made rapid calculations, “Should you release me from your care now then I would be happy to return tomorrow in order to assist you in understanding the scope of this incredible effect.” Redheart nodded in affirmation, clearly enamoured with the idea of furthering the cause of medical science before the former Umbrella employee leaned in towards her in a conspiritual fashion, “However, I would prefer it if you did not mention my... condition to any citizens of Ponyville, I am already an outsider, I do not wish to be looked upon as a freak as well.” He looked beseechingly over the rims of his shades, “You understand, don’t you Miss Redheart?”

Her expression softened at the scientist’s ‘heartfelt’ words, “You have my word, Mr Wesker, it shall be between you and me. Your blood could be the key to saving lives.”

Hardly. Wesker thought internally, as though he would waste the blood of a God on the weak and pathetic. Out loud, on the other hand, he merely said, “That is a noble goal, Miss Redheart.” She smiled in return, “Am I free to go?”

Redheart responded in the affirmative, “You are certainly healthy enough, Mr Wesker. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow though for further tests.”

“And I look forward to assisting your research.” Wesker lied easily as he climbed from the bed, “My thanks for your assistance and future cooperation.”

“Not at all.” She grinned once more, clearly giddy at what she had just discovered, “Stay safe Mr Wesker.”

He smirked, “No promises dear heart but I will endeavour to keep my blood on the inside.” With that he was gone from his cell, into another whitewashed corridor and finally back into the real world. The feel of the sun of his face caused Wesker to breathe a heavy sigh of relief and begin to propagate ideas in the recesses of his mind; this situation was almost certainly the best-case scenario, he was still genetically superior and there was no danger of any other citizens finding out and offering persecution his way. Furthermore, he would be able to collaborate with a medically trained individual in order to discover the potential of his genes; a smirk spread slowly across his face, he was back.

Shame, I liked it when you were making pancakes and being polite, Al.

There was no reason to be start being rude to his associates: Firstly, such a drastic behavioural change would arouse suspicion and secondly, any animosity would be an unwelcome distraction from accumulating all the power he could possibly claim. Plus, he still liked pancakes, realising that being a deity transcended separate existences couldn’t change that.

Good to know?

With that pleasant surprise out of the way, Wesker’s intellectual force returned to focusing on his previous conundrum: How to acquire the elements of harmony or at least to transfer their might to him. The intellectually effervescent Miss Twilight would almost certainly fill in the gaps his reading material could not and so he began to walk leisurely towards the lavender unicorn’s library, feeling utterly indestructible. He glanced absent-mindedly at his foreleg whilst considering the nuances and branching paths his plan could possibly take and noticed that the small incision he had received from Nurse Redheart taking his blood has closed up entirely and no evidence of it remained. That settled that then, his regenerative capabilities weren’t limited to his blood cells but he still needed to realise just how powerful it was. Could he survive something which would kill a normal pony?

Why don’t you test it by impaling yourself, Albert?

He sighed condescendingly, not the most scientifically precise way of ascertaining his power but at least it was a suggestion. Once he arrived at Twilight’s home, he noticed the presence of both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie; the energetic duo were lurking outside the unicorn’s window and giggling at something that was unseen to Wesker. Even the presence of the irritating pegasus could not dull his newly discovered good mood and he cleared his throat, causing the two to turn around in shock, “Did the window tell a particularly joke?” Pinkie Pie snorted with further laughter whilst Rainbow smiled weakly. “What exactly is going on?”

Pinkie waved Wesker over and pointed through the window at an increasingly baffled Twilight watching the words she wrote disappear moments after she wrote them, causing both pink earth pony and multi-coloured pegasus to guffaw with glee. This eventually attracted the attention of the purple mare, and her eyes narrowed as she realised what had happened before an amused smile spread across her face and she shook her head light-heartedly before shooting an inquisitive look at Wesker. He motioned with his hoof towards the door, causing Twilight to smile and nod as the pranking pair shot off at high speed. The former S.T.A.R.S. captain smirked as he trotted towards the wooden door, which opened at his approach and revealed a still-giggling Twilight.

She titled her head and examined Wesker, her face filled with honest curiosity, “How can I help you Albert?”

Wesker smirked faintly, “May I come inside first, Miss Twilight? I do not wish to be within the range of Miss Rainbow and Miss Pinkie.” She laughed lightly and stepped aside to allow him access before repeating her question.

Wesker’s smirk grew, “I’d like to ask you about Nightmare Moon and the Elements of Harmony.”

Albert Wesker and the Revelation

Author’s Note: Just watched the season 2 finale and I absolutely loved it. Can’t wait for season 3. As always, I love you and your feedback and I want to give you all hugs but I won’t because you might feel our relationship hasn’t reached that stage yet.

Twilight’s smile faltered very slightly as she processed the former scientist’s question, “I’d be happy to tell you everything I know but why exactly are you interested?”

Wesker offered a ghost of a smile, “Natural curiosity?” Twilight looked sceptical, “Your friend, Miss Fluttershy, mentioned that you and your comrades battled Nightmare Moon using the Elements of Harmony.” His mouth twisted into a frown, “There were too many gaps in my book to fully sate my desire for knowledge so I decided to come to you, dear heart.” He peered at her over the rims of his glasses, “I daresay you are far more well-versed and informative than any volume I could possibly find.”

The lavender unicorn blushed lightly at the praise and motioned the blond stallion over to a pair of armchairs in the corner of the library. As the pair settled themselves into the soft fabric, she leaned forward, “Where do you want to me to start Albert?”

Wesker smirked, “From the beginning” He cracked the joints in his neck, “and finish when you get to the end.”

Twilight rolled her eyes but carried on regardless and told the story of her first days in Ponyville...

Wesker stroked the base of his chin in contemplation once the mare had finished telling her tale. “So you rediscovered these elements yourself? No-one else even knew about them besides Celestia?”
Twilight shook her head, “Princess Celestia” She corrected, “and everypony knew about them, they all just thought they were a story told to foals to help them sleep.”

Wesker nodded slowly, a millennium had a way of blurring the lines between fact and fiction, he supposed. “And this Celestia was the last to use the elements before you?”

“Princess Celestia” Twilight objected once more, evoking a sly smirk from Wesker. “She was, Albert, she used it on her sister to banish her to the moon due to her evil designs.”

Wesker pushed his shades to the bridge of his nose as another thought struck him, “Then these elements can change ‘allegiances’ as it were? They are not bound to their users for all eternity?”

Twilight hummed as she considered this question, “Princess Celestia told me that the elements were no longer connected to her. I guess that’s why she needed me to use the magic of friendship to unite the elements and defeat Nightmare Moon.”

Wesker’s eye twitched at the mention of ‘the magic of friendship’, he had been very incredulous at that point of the story. The mystery element that Miss Sparkle possessed was magic, which he fundamentally could never utilise on a biological level. Annoyance didn’t quite cover his range of emotion but he had nevertheless endeavoured to learn more of the story, in case he could find a way to work around yet another obstacle this ludicrous world had placed before him.

“And you say that Princess Luna was ‘purified’ by the elements?”

Twilight smiled lightly at Wesker finally remembering to refer to a princess by her proper title, “Yes, Albert. She was Nightmare Moon but the elements of harmony purged the evil from her.”

The former Umbrella scientist’s brow furrowed, “So, Nightmare Moon was merely an alter-ego of Luna.” Twilight scowled, “Princess Luna.” He hastily added. “The textbook seems to imply that Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna are two entirely separate entities, is that also the result of the amount of time that has passed since the original occurrence?”

Confusion crossed the face of the lavender unicorn as she considered the question, “It’s pretty complicated but I think some outside force managed to twist Princess Luna’s mind to the point where she tried to rebel against Princess Celestia... No-one knows what exactly happened to make her try to shroud the land in eternal night.”

Wesker frowned in irritated concentration until an idea materialised within his brain, causing him to turn to his companion with an arched eyebrow. “You say this Nightmare Moon travelled as a cloud of black smoke?” Twilight nodded, “What did she sound like?”

The bookworm blinked once as a look of utter bemusement swept across her face, “I’m sorry?”

The former S.T.A.R.S. captain sighed, “It’s a very simple question dear heart: What. Did. She. Sound. Like?” Twilight started at his brusque tone but managed to recite a passable imitation of Dark, confirming his thought process. “Thank you Miss Twilight, I apologise for my curtness but I have a number of theories that I am concocting and every angle must be examined for me to be certain.”

Twilight nodded at his apology but only looked partially mollified, “Why would you need to know what she sounded like?”
“I needed to be sure she sounded different from Princess Luna herself.” He lied instantaneously, “it raises a great deal of further questions but progress is progress.” She grinned at the logical scientist’s statement; Wesker got the impression that meeting an intellectual like himself was a rare event for the precocious unicorn. So his smoky acquaintance was responsible for corrupting Luna... He would have to ask her about that particular event tonight, the passive-aggressive, indirect methods utilised by this ‘Nightmare Moon’ to halt Twilight and her friends bordered on the pathetic, certainly nothing at all like what he would expect from Dark.

Of course Albert, you’ve met her once, you must know exactly what she’s like.

“Any other questions to ask, Albert? I’m always happy to help someone who wants to expand their range of knowledge.” Wesker snapped out of his reverie and turned towards the enthusiastic grin of one half of the library’s inhabitants, just as the second half entered via the front door, announcing himself via hiccups, each of which were punctuated with a small spout of green flame.

“Hey Al... hic... hey Twilight... hic... you guys seen Pinkie and Rainbow? ...Hic... They’re doing some really funny pranks... hic.”

Twilight giggled at the purple dragon’s continuous hiccupping before her horn glowed with luminescent purple light and she casted in the direction of her assistant, who sighed with relief as his breathing returned to normal. A solitary eyebrow arch and the faintest trace of a grin emerged upon Wesker’s face as Twilight looked piercingly at Spike, “Spike! Don’t tell me you forgot to bring back the scrolls I needed for Princess Celestia!”

Spike rubbed his claws together nervously, “Well, I picked them up from the store but err... Pinkie and Rainbow scared me so I dropped them.”

Twilight pressed her hoof against the side of her head, “Okay then... did you pick them up?”

Guilt showed up markedly on the face of the purple dragon, “Well, I tried to but I had the hiccups and every time I hiccupped... I kinda accidentally sent a scroll to Princess Celestia.”

Wesker frowned at the line of conversation, what on earth were they talking about? “How can hiccupping cause you to send a letter by accident?”

Spike turned to the blond stallion, “Oh, sorry Al, I forgot you’re new here. I use my flame to send Twilight’s friendship reports to the Princess.”

Wesker made an appreciative noise, instantaneous messaging was a fascinating use of magic; perhaps magic was used in lieu of technology which could not be created by a hoof, did this not mean that unicorns were therefore more vital to the wellbeing of society than either of the other races? Then his keen mind caught up with the second half of Spike’s statement and he whipped round to face Twilight. “Friendship report??”

However, his unicorn companion had a glazed look of horror in her eyes as she remained fixated on Spike, “There were 25 blank scrolls, are you saying you sent all of them to Princess Celestia?”

“Erm...” Spike looked beseechingly at Wesker for support and received only a shrug in return, “kinda?”

Her eyes widened and her mouth made a small ‘o’ of terror. “What if she thinks I’m not taking my study of friendship seriously and that I sent all those blank letters myself as an act of rebellion?”

Wesker snorted, causing Twilight to shoot a glare in his direction. “This is serious!” Luckily for the blond stallion, Spike interrupted by belching and causing a scroll to materialise before his eyes, taking Twilight’s attention away from the smirking scientist. The bipedal creature snatched it out of the air and unfurled it, making a small noise of exclamation as a coin purse dropped from the depths of its folds onto the ground.

Spike cleared his throat and read,

My dear student Twilight,
I assume Spike has the hiccups again. He grinned sheepishly; I did actually need to buy more blank scrolls so your interruption was actually quite useful... though I would have preferred them at a lesser frequency. Spike and Twilight chuckled whilst Wesker allowed himself a wry smile, Here are some bits to cover the cost of the scrolls you sent me. I hope you’re having a wonderful time in Ponyville learning about the magic of friendship.
Your Mentor,
Celestia

Twilight and Spike both sighed with obvious relief at the concurrent moment that Wesker realised something, “She didn’t say Princess Celestia, dear heart, she just said Celestia.”

Twilight rolled her eyes, “She’s Princess Celestia and she’s allowed to call herself whatever she wants.” Wesker sighed.
“So, Spike.” The purple unicorn began, “You say Rainbow and Pinkie pranked you? They got me too with the old invisible ink trick.” She turned towards Wesker with a faint smile, “you’d better watch out Albert, you know how you are with pranks.”

Ignoring Spike’s guffaws, he arched an eyebrow in Twilight’s direction, “Whatever do you mean, Miss Twilight? I am perfectly capable of being pranked in a calm fashion.” She looked sceptically at him, cocking her head to the side. “Fine.” He conceded bitterly, “some of us just prefer a quieter, prank-free existence, I’ll try not to react too violently should they encounter me again.”

No guarantees though, I suspect, Al. Especially since you’ve got your god complex back.

Giggling happily, the mauve mare strolled over to the corner of the library and began sorting books with the magic emanating from her horn. Suddenly, she jumped as a thought struck her, “Oh, Albert, Applejack wanted to see you once you got out of hospital, you should go see her.”

Wesker nodded and slowly extracted himself from the comfortable furniture, “Thank you for telling me, and thank you for your time.” He smirked, “you’ve certainly enlightened me a great deal.” As he exited the library, he turned to the plum-coloured dragon, “A pleasure to see you, Spike.”

Once Spike had responded in kind and Twilight had uttered her goodbyes, the mare began collaborating with her dragon assistant to create a reply to Celestia...

Princess Celestia, Al.

Wesker rolled his eyes before slipping out of the enchanted tree and once more breathing in the sweet summer air on his way to Sweet Apple Acres. His visit to Miss Twilight’s residence was certainly a worthwhile pursuit and had enabled him to not only further gain the trust of one of Ponyville’s most influential citizens but also enlightened him with regards to Dark’s past. Useful information, no doubt, and information was the most valuable commodity when dealing with an unknown force. He would dare to venture that knowing her origins would ultimately be even more useful but so far all he had was ‘the Discord amongst ponies’ and a frustratingly vague description of this Discord individual. Perhaps he would enquire as to the nature of the ‘spirit of chaos’ some other day, he was sure that Miss Twilight would have read a wide variety of tomes, that Discord would be mentioned in more detail in a few of them, and that she would also be capable of imparting some of that knowledge onto himself.

He had plenty of time to accumulate data and formulate a plan, all he had to do is take his time and ensure he was as organized as he could possibly be. Then he would strike however his godlike intellect determined that he should do so.
Albert Wesker did not go into any situation unprepared, particularly when the ultimate prize was so tantalising... power beyond any he had known. It was certainly worth whatever trivial small talk and banal conversation this world burdened upon him.

He smirked, once his time came, the unworthy would not even dare converse with him.

Albert Wesker and the Suspicious Rabbit(s)

Author’s Note: Ahoy! I am back, if only for the briefest of moments. This is horrible procrastination but hopefully you’ll like it. Love you all, review, comment, etc. The feelings of Angel Bunny owe a certain debt to Dirty Bit (Author of ‘Are You Ready?’ Read it) who planted the idea in my head a fair old while ago. Also, Caitlin might end up being important... or not. Sorry for the extended foray out of pony territory but I hope the Weskery goodness means you’ll forgive me. 

It was with a lingering sense of smug superiority that Wesker departed to meet with Applejack, ‘living in the moment’ as he had been doing previously was all well and good but now he actually felt like he was making real progress. Will had always said that without a project to work on, he had a tendency to seem... lost. He could certainly see where his deceased friend was coming from, he needed adversity and challenges to focus his mind and maximise his productivity; cooking competitions and dancing were all well and good but nothing could compare with the thrill of accumulating the power he desired.

Ever thought about what you’ll do with the power when you get it, Al?

Wesker nodded absent-mindedly to himself as he mentally worked upon the framework of his overarching plan, he certainly knew: establish a new world order. Death would not hold him back from his goal.

But... Spencer was the one.... Ah, forget it; it’s like trying to talk to a brick wall.

The former Umbrella operative rolled his eyes; he’d have thought that the restoration of his sanity would have eliminated these incessant voices but it seemed they were there for the long haul. As though summoned by his frustration, another voice cut through his mind.

Albert Wesker, you’ve been going to a great deal of effort to learn about me.

Nausea and the all too familiar headache accompanied Dark’s words, forcing an unbidden grunt of pain to issue forth from the blond stallion’s lips as he formed a reply, in too much discomfort to think about internalising his thoughts and instead speaking them with a vicious curl of his upper lip.

“I thought we agreed that you would no longer contact me like this.”

I believe we also agreed on an equal partnership, why are you trying to gain the upper hand?

Another wave of sickness passed through Wesker’s system and he closed his eyes whilst pressing a hoof to his temple in an attempt to quash the pain residing there, “I am not attempting to gain the upper hand, I merely wish to be on a level field.” All the agony and discomfort Wesker was in merely brought his anger to an apex, “You will soon know everything there is to know about me and I know nothing about you, do not dare to keep me in the dark.” His eyes snapped open and pure fury flooded his system, “I am not to be crossed dear heart, now leave!”

Silence greeted his words and he breathed a sigh of relief until he turned refocused his vision and saw a concerned Fluttershy approaching from a distance, Angel in tow. Clearly his voice had rose in volume towards the end of his diatribe towards Dark and attracted the meek pegasus’ attention, he had to hope that she hadn’t heard anything he had said. Eventually, the yellow mare reached conversational distance, alarm written all over her features.

“Are you all right, Albert? I heard shouting.” She suddenly gave a small squeak of horror and leapt backwards, causing Wesker to react with no small amount of surprise as he stepped towards her, a solitary eyebrow raised.

“What seems to be the problem, Miss Fluttershy?” Wesker asked calmly, examining her minutely over the tops of his glasses, hoping to draw attention away from his ‘episode’ earlier.

“I... I...” Fluttershy took several deep breaths to compose herself, “I’m sorry Albert, I must have imagined it, I’m such a scaredy pony.”

Wesker’s curiosity was wholly peaked at this point, “Imagined what?”

Fluttershy looked down at the ground, pawing nervously and hiding her face behind a veil of pink mane. Eventually she whispered two words, “Your eyes.”

Wesker raised another eyebrow to accompany the first and slowly removed his sunglasses, flipping them around and using the mirrored surface to examine his face. Incredibly familiar steel blue eyes greeted him, returning his inquisitive glance which he then diverted towards the still-flustered Fluttershy. “What about them, Miss Fluttershy? They seem perfectly functional.”

At this point, the pink-maned mare clearly felt mortified by her strong reaction and had blushed a near luminescent shade of red, “I’m so sorry, Albert, I thought they were glowing red, I must not be getting enough sleep.”

Wesker retained a perfectly unmoved visage but his heart was beating faster than he would have thought possible as he slowly and carefully replaced the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, “No harm done, dear heart.” He offered his uniquely subtle version of a reassuring smile, “Though I would appreciate a warning the next time you jump backwards from me in terror, it does nothing for my self esteem.”

The shy pegasus weakly returned his smile before making a small noise as she remembered her previous reason for approaching him, “What was the commotion about, Albert? I thought you were arguing with someone, I didn’t hear what you were saying but you sounded angry, I hope you’re not angry.”

Wesker’s mind worked at overtime in an attempt to cover for himself, he was internally relieved at Fluttershy’s assertion that she hadn’t heard what he was saying but also annoyed that the docile mare had brought it up at all. Luckily, his previous preoccupation had offered him a fortunate get-out clause which he had realised only seconds ago. “I wouldn’t say angry, Miss Fluttershy, just irritated. I noticed that I had left my satchel at Miss Twilight’s library and...” Wesker’s lips twitched, “Felt the need to vent my feelings. I’m perfectly fine but your concern in appreciated.”

Fluttershy nodded with obvious relief, “I’m so glad to hear that Albert, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I’ll see you later. Come on Angel.” Wesker wished her farewell but not before briefly diverting his attention towards the aforementioned bunny.

To his disbelief, the rabbit was watching the former S.T.A.R.S. captain through narrowed lids, heavy suspicion and wariness written into every facet of its features. Wesker raised an eyebrow in reply, causing Angel to perform the internationally accepted mime for “I’m Watching You.” A faint smirk crossed Wesker’s face and he offered it a mocking wave as Fluttershy departed, facing the opposite direction. This caused the snow white mammal to repeat the previous gesture as it slowly trooped off behind the pegasus.

You’re being watched by a rabbit Albert, I doubt you’ll be capable of outmanoeuvring him.

Wesker rolled his eyes, of course not. As he continued walking, he couldn’t help but consider what Fluttershy said; it would be beyond foolish to assume that she was indeed imagining the re-emergence of his demonic pupils. The real dilemma was what triggered it and why they hadn’t remained permanently. Questions and no answers, Equestria appeared to have a common theme. Wesker continued pontificating and settled once more upon the subject of Fluttershy’s pet rabbit, Angel. His track record with bunnies was notoriously poor...

May 24th 1985

“What is that, Will?”

Birkin started noticeably and slowly turned to face his fellow scientist, conspicuously paying no attention to the roughly square shape covered by a blanket that he was holding. “Oh hey, Al. How’s it going? Hit any traffic on your way in?”

Wesker gently pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a protracted breath through his nose, he hadn’t even had his coffee yet. “No games, Will. What are you holding and how will it impact negatively on my life today?”

The genius rolled his eyes, “You’re such a drama queen, I was hoping to surprise you but...” He elegantly whipped the cover off his held item, revealing what lay underneath. “What’d you think, Al?”

The tall blond stood impassively examining the contents of the cage that Birkin had recently unveiled as a red-headed female scientist passed by, exchanging a cursory greeting to the pair. One which was acknowledged by Will and ignored by the preoccupied man in shades. Unbeknownst to the pair, she continued examining the exchange once she reached her work station.

“It’s a rabbit, Will.”

Birkin sighed, “I can always rely on you to make the most pertinent observations.”

Wesker waved a dismissive hand, “Fine, fine. I don’t care, are we testing the fifth strain of the T-Virus on it today?”

Will’s eyes widened in horror as he pulled the cage away from his friend, shielding it with his far-smaller frame, “No, no, no! It’s not a subject, it’s the lab mascot.” He poked his finger through the bars towards the black-furred creature, whose nose twitched as the Umbrella scientist stroked it gently before looking up at Wesker with an evil grin. “He’s called Alby.”

Wesker shuddered involuntarily before rapidly changing tact, “We are researchers, we are not children. Why have we got a mascot? Clearly only you want one.”

Birkin wriggled his eyebrows triumphantly, “Actually, I took a poll of everyone in the lab.” He diverted his gaze upwards in contemplation, “10 for, 1 against.”

Wesker snarled, “Make that 2 against, Birkin.”

Will laughed, “Actually, I already counted you, Sir Grumpypants.” He slapped a smug smile on his face, “I didn’t even count my own vote because I was the independent adjudicator.”

The blond wiped a frustrated hand across his forehead, ignoring the amused giggle that issued from the female scientist, “You’re telling me that every single person in this lab chose to get a pet rabbit?”

At this point, the redhead decided to pipe up, a fairly strong Irish accent permeating her words, “We thought it would increase morale.”

Birkin nodded happily, clearly revelling in Wesker’s annoyance, “That’s right Caitlin, that’s why I pressured everyone into agreeing.”

Caitlin smiled faintly, “I know, we thought you shutting up about it would increase morale.”

Wesker forgot his annoyance for the briefest of moments as his lips twitched faintly before the irritating snuffling of the black rabbit brought him crashing down to earth and he directed a dark glare at it, before turning to Caitlin, “Miss Donnelly, I hope you realise that by allowing this filthy creature into our lab, you’ve significantly lowered my morale.”

The redhead shrugged, pointing at Will, “He’s more vocal about low morale than you are.”

Concurrently, Birkin was glaring at Wesker, “Don’t call him filthy.” A sly grin spread over his face once more, “What’s the matter, Alby? Don’t you like Alby?” He lifted the cage to the blond’s eye level, and put on an absurd falsetto voice, “What’s the matter Alby, why don’t you love me? I just want to be your friend.” Caitlin was stifling her laughter with the back of her hand whilst Wesker looked monumentally unimpressed.

“I’m going to get coffee. Hopefully that overgrown rat will be dead by the time I get back.” Both Birkin and Donnelly failed to hold back their chuckles as Wesker departed the far end of the lab, by the time he got back, the rabbit had been put up on a pristine table at the side of the room. At least it was out of the way. Sipping gently at his coffee, he leaned down and examined the feral thing with a frown creasing his brow.

“You shouldn’t frown, it’ll give you wrinkles.”

Caitlin had bounded over and was examining the rabbit with infinitely more delight than the man in shades. She, like Will, extended a finger through the bars and gently stroked the thick fur of the bunny.

Wesker rolled his eyes, “Duly noted.”

Donnelly withdrew her finger and turned to face the tall blond with a beaming smile, “Why don’t you give Alby a stroke?”

He arched a sceptical eyebrow in reply, “What makes you think I have any desire to touch that horrid thing?”

She looked at her fellow scientist beseechingly, “Ah, go on. You might grow to love Alby.”

Wesker shuddered, “I will stroke it. Once. If you promise to never call it Alby again.”

Caitlin frowned, “Then what am I supposed to call it? That’s his name.”

“Anything!” He snapped, “Fluffy, Whiskers, Lord Bunnykins. Just not Alby. I know Will chose Alby deliberately to annoy me and I don’t have time to kill that cretin today.”

Caitlin snickered, not relenting even at the force of Wesker’s glare. “All right then, go and give Lord Bunnykins a stroke.” Wesker sighed; he was supposed to be part of the country’s greatest scientific minds. He tentatively reached his finger through the bars of the animal’s cage just as Will came round the corner.

“Oh hey, you’re making friends. I always knew you had a soul somewhere Al.”

Wesker bared his teeth in response as he slowly reached out towards Alby, who sniffed the finger tentatively before sinking its teeth deep into the knuckle and retreating to the corner.

The blond let out a grunt and yanked his finger out of the metal pen as Will howled with laughter, “Ahahahaha! I always knew rabbits could sense evil.”

Wesker examined the freely flowing blood with a frown written deeply on his face, one which he then turned upon the clearly demonic rabbit, serving only to further increase the hilarity Birkin was experiencing. Caitlin sighed before grabbing the blond’s forearm and dragging him towards the first aid box. “You’re really not an animal person, are you Wesker?”

He examined his knuckle dispassionately, “Apparently not.”

She clucked her tongue as she opened up the green plastic case, retrieving a bandage and expertly applying it to the bite wound before planting a small kiss on the bandage, causing Wesker to examine her with one eyebrow aloft. She grinned sheepishly, “Sorry, force of habit. My Ma always used to do the same.”

He examined the bandage, which now had the faintest trace of lipstick on, “I’m not sure that it has any particular medicinal value.”

Caitlin shrugged, “Might do. Anyway, we’ve got work to do. The sooner we finish, the sooner you can kill Birkin.”

Wesker smirked as he followed the Irish scientist; she certainly knew how to motivate him.

Present Day

It was certainly a long time since he’d thought of any of his fellow lab members besides Will... Fortunately, he was spared having to dwell on the thoughts that evoked by the realisation that he had arrived at Sweet Apple Acres.

Time to find Applejack.

Albert Wesker and the Honest Pony

Author’s Note: Sorry about the delay, have been working like a maniac (and eventually drinking like a maniac) over the last month but I’ve finally finished my second year of uni. Now I can focus on relaxing and getting ready for the summer... and writing this fic, of course. :D P.S. Anyone else as excited about Euro 2012 as I am? Can’t wait!

“Do I frighten you?”
Albert Wesker, Marvel vs. Capcom 3

Another potential crisis averted, Wesker strode confidently across the grounds of Sweet Apple Acres towards the farmhouse. He assumed Applejack’s summons would have something to do with work and he was more than happy to oblige, it was an ideal opportunity to get some more information regarding the elements of harmony. Though he wasn’t entirely sure what else there could be to learn, it appeared to be the case that their nature was very simplistic and designed to never fall into the wrong hands.

Wrong hands, Albert? Who on earth could that be referring to? I daresay you’re planning to use the elements for the purpose of creating rainbows.

This was merely a minor setback; the most important thing to remember was that he had time to prepare his scheme. No needless rushing ahead, no foolhardy advances and if someone dared to oppose him, they would simply be eliminated. His most prominent mistake...

Of which there were many...

... Was not executing Redfield when he had the chance. He had wanted to see the last vestige of hope fade from his former subordinate’s eyes before he pulled the trigger or ripped his heart from his chest. Sadly, Chris remained defiant throughout their emotional reunions and so Wesker had taken it upon himself to break him so the ignoramus would know that he was in the presence of a superior being before he died. Foolishness... The former STARS captain realised his folly now and there was no chance of repeating the mistake he had made prior, a physical victory was just as pertinent as a psychological one. Wesker’s musings were cut short by his arrival at the farmhouse; it was worrying just how whimsical and absent-minded he had become recently. No doubt a result of this cloying, sentimental land... once it was wiped clean and refashioned to suit his vision then he would no longer be prone to these unscheduled bouts of nostalgia.

He rapped neatly upon the door three times in quick succession, eyes widening behind shades in mild shock when the wooden construct flew open to reveal a pale, yellow filly with a pink ribbon adorning her magenta mane. Said filly was clearly far more eager to see Wesker than he was to see Applebloom as she flung her front hooves around his neck, clinging to the blond stallion whilst blissfully ignorant to the aura of mild distaste emanating from the former STARS captain. “Ah’m so glad you’re okay, Mr Wesker! Applejack told me y’all were taken ill at the party and I was so worried!”

Eventually (far too long a period in Wesker’s opinion) the child released him and, resisting the urge to dust himself off, Wesker formulated a response, “Your concern is appreciated Miss Applebloom but I was never in any real danger, it was merely a minor illness.” She continued to watch him with unnerving happiness and relief, emotions which the former scientist certainly did not usually associate with people in his presence and he felt the need to vocalise further to distract both himself and the rambunctious filly, “I was told that your sister needed to see me, might you know the reasons behind that?”

Applebloom puzzled over the question momentarily before shaking her head vigorously, “I haven’t heard nothin’ about that” Her faint disappointment at being unable to provide an answer was almost instantly chased away by enthusiastic realisation, “But I do know where she’ll be, want me to show ya?”

Wesker nodded once and motioned for the filly to lead on, which she did, bounding eagerly out the front door and causing the blond to run a relieved hoof through his mane as the astronomical energy of Applejack’s little sister was directed away from him. He trotted lightly after Applebloom as she impatiently glanced back; clearly confused that he wasn’t as willing to sprint as she was. She skipped away in the direction her sister was apparently located, leaving Wesker trailing in her wake as he wondered what on earth had happened to his life for the umpteenth time since arriving in Equestria. After a few minutes of movement which included a very poorly judged attempt by the filly to start a sing-along as they travelled, they found themselves amongst an almost fully-ploughed field frequented by Applejack herself, standing proudly as she prepared to finish the final strip of land.

Wesker glanced sidelong at Applebloom, “Thank you for your time, Miss Applebloom, I daresay I’ll see you some time in the near future.”

She beamed in response, oblivious to the weary note in his voice, “Ya sure will Mr Wesker, hope you and Applejack have a nice chat, see ya later!” Applebloom darted off back down the dirt path which she had led the stallion up mere moments beforehand and the genius breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Why were children so incredibly exasperating?

She was being friendly Al, try it some time... you might like it.

Ignoring Joy, he called out to Applejack as she undertook the final step of her cultivation. Turning to acknowledge the source of the voice, she smiled at Wesker despite the obvious strain of pulling the plough before finally finishing and unhooking herself with an exaggerated but undeniably weary groan. “Sheesh, I am exhausted. Just my luck that Big Mac got to deliver a couple o’ bushels o’ apples and I had to finish his ploughing for him.” She tilted her head in the direction of the steadfast apple trees, “And I’ve got the pranking duo paintin’ all my apples to boot.” She wiped the sweat from her brow, “Mighty glad to see ya up and about Al, I’ve been meaning to chat with you.”

Wesker waved his forelegs in a conciliatory gesture, “So I’ve heard Miss Applejack. What exactly did you want my company for?” He smirked as she briefly hesitated, “If you merely wished to bask in my presence then I am flattered dear heart.”

Applejack snorted derisively but not rudely so, “Keep wishin’, Blondie.” She vacillated once more but pushed through her indecision, “I heard from Rainbow what happened between you two before y’all passed out yesterday.”

Wesker remained po-faced but seethed internally at the cyan pegasus’ capitulation, how could she be so weak-willed as to divulge such a clearly private interaction so readily? “Indeed. I can’t begin to imagine what she would have said.”

Applejack surveyed his face closely, “I got a gift for knowing the truth, Al. Don’t be surprised that I worked out that ol’ Rainbow wasn’t telling me what actually happened.”

Wesker kept his mask firmly in place, it appeared this was an interaction that the orange earth pony had engineered to try and glean more information from him. Unfortunately for her, this was a game he had been forced to play ever since joining Umbrella at the age of 17. “I assume that is why you represent the Element of Honesty, dear heart.” Taking a moment to internally savour her look of surprise at the knowledge he now possessed, he continued, “However, I have no idea what lies Rainbow Dash told about our conversation that triggered your... intuition.”

Applejack crossed her forelegs resolutely, “That’s just the thing, Al, she wasn’t tellin’ the kind of lies I’m used to her tellin’. You know the sort: that she did a triple somersault and then saved all of Equestria whilst beatin’ you in an argument, all in front of the Wonderbolts.” Wesker smirked once more at the acknowledgement of Rainbow’s empty bravado, “She was right hush about the whole thing and I knew she wasn’t tellin’ me the whole truth, but I didn’t want to push it.”

Wesker arched a sole eyebrow, “Then why have you gone to the trouble of summoning me here?”

The mare rolled her eyes, “Summoned you? Hold your horses, Al; I just wanted to hear your version of what happened.”

Resolutely ignoring the use of an idiom which contained horses, lest his head explode from the confusion, he replied, “I’m not sure what there is to tell, Miss Applejack, are you expecting some grand conspiracy? Miss Rainbow and I had a clash of personalities, I went outside to vomit and she chose that moment as ideal for a confrontation.” He grimaced at the memory of how horrendous he felt as the infuriating pegasus decided to challenge him, it was not a feeling he would ever wish to experience again.

Applejack stroked her chin thoughtfully, “I thought as much, Rainbow said the same, but when I asked her what you two actually said to each other, I knew she was making it up as she went along.”

Wesker popped the joints in his neck, “Is that such a mystery? Ponies tend to say hurtful things in the heat of the moment, it makes sense that she would not wish to divulge the insults she may have uttered.”

The blond mare looked partially mollified, “I suppose that’s true but I thought she would trust her friends enough to admit to what she said. She must know we wouldn’t judge her for it.”

Wesker spread his front-right hoof dismissively, “That’s her business, and perhaps you should have confronted her with it when you spoke to her beforehand. All I know is that there is nothing to concern yourself with and certainly no overarching conspiracy between myself and Miss Rainbow.”

The ponytailed earth pony nodded, “Sure thing Al, I hope the two of you are on decent enough terms now.” At Wesker’s partially truthful acknowledgement that they were, she nodded once more before a look of bemusement spread across her features and she spoke absent-mindedly to herself, “Huh, that’s funny...”

Wesker allowed a solitary eyebrow to drift lazily upwards, “What exactly is ‘funny’?”

She looked directly at the blond stallion, “Normally I can tell 100 per cent of the time when somepony is lying or telling the truth, black or white, but with you... it’s kind of strange. Like shades of grey every time I try and focus on what you’re sayin’...

Wesker smirked and examined her over the frames of his glasses, “Do I frighten you, Miss Applejack?” His tone was teasing but he made sure there was the faintest hint of an edge present in the recesses of his voice.

She smiled in return, answering truthfully as she motioned for the pair to walk back to the farmhouse, “No, ya don’t Al but you confuse me, I know you’re different to every other pony I’ve met but for the life of me, I can’t tell how.”

Wesker’s smirk grew wider and he followed after her. If only she knew...

Albert Wesker and the Game of Kings

Author’s Note: Hello there you lovely people. Just a quick note to fanfiction users that this story is present on fimfiction too; the reverse also applies to fimfiction users. Many thanks for all your reviews and favourites etc. Enjoy.

Having to do a chore which wouldn’t have existed without Rainbow Dash’s intervention did nothing to endear the cyan pegasus to Wesker but his relatively high spirits allowed him to clean the multi-faceted apples which now dotted the orchard within Sweet Apple Acres without any specific death wishes directed at the athletic mare materialising in his mind. He considered that to be generous on his part and heartily ignored the involvement of Pinkie Pie in the scheme; the hyperactive earth pony unnerved Wesker more than any other citizen of Ponyville for a reason which he could not quite pinpoint and he had no desire to harbour negative thoughts surrounding her... primarily because he wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t capable of reading his mind. It genuinely would not surprise him.

Nothing surprises you anymore, right Al?

True enough, if this whole experience had taught him anything, it was that the ‘impossible’ was anything but... not always pleasantly so either. Applejack had disappeared to attend to the colossal amount of work which accompanied working on a farm, Big Macintosh was still delivering apples somewhere within Ponyville town centre and Applebloom was mercifully absent; this allowed Wesker to complete his task quickly and efficiently. So far as anypony could operate a hosepipe with hooves, he definitely missed the capabilities that opposable thumbs offered him. Eventually he finished and was able to step back and examine his impeccable handiwork, an opportunity he only accepted for a fleeting moment before withdrawing into the farmhouse to recuperate. Ordinarily, the genius would have delved into his fairly sizable collection of reading material but his uncharacteristic absent-mindedness had robbed him of the opportunity. Instead he trudged slowly back towards the Apple family’s home and considered his next move once more. Unfortunately for him, the chance to plot and scheme was removed instantaneously by the presence of another pony within the farmhouse, making herself known as soon as he breached the threshold of the door.

“Mr Wesker! Did y’all have a nice chat with Applejack? Have you finished all your work? Has she finished all of hers? Do you want to play a game?”

The blond sighed before turning to face his ambusher, “Yes, yes, I don’t know and almost certainly not.” At the whimper of disappointment she made, he relented very slightly, “It would depend on the game.”

“Chess?”

Wesker’s eyes widened in surprise; that actually sounded agreeable. It had been far too long since he had indulged himself in the tactical nuances of his favourite game and before he could even consider what he was saying, he impulsively accepted, “Of course, Miss Applebloom, it would be a pleasure.”

She beamed, indicated to the surface they would be using and ran off to claim the board, leaving the former Umbrella operative to settle himself down in a chair and consider his opening move. Had he been against another logical adult, such as Miss Sparkle or even Birkin on the pleasantly frequent occasions that his old friend deigned to be beaten by him, he would almost certainly prefer to be black, in order to utilise the Queen’s gambit and force his opponent to take the initiative. As it was, he didn’t actually mind which colour he was forced to pick, he expected a win.

Sheesh, Al, you’re playing a child. Take it easy, for once.

Unlikely... he played to claim victory and prove his intellectual superiority, not for ‘fun’. Applebloom clattered down the stairs at that point, triumphantly waving a chess set before laying the various parts of the set upon the table. “Do y’all mind if I’m the black pieces?”

Wesker arched an eyebrow; he had expected a child to assume that the side which went first was the superior entity. Nonetheless, he nodded once and examined his pieces carefully as they were placed in front of him. “Do you often play chess, Miss Applebloom? Forgive my bluntness but I didn’t imagine that it would be a game that you could enjoy.”

She nodded enthusiastically, “Are y’all kidding, Mr Wesker? I love playin’ me some chess, it’s just a shame that no-one ever wants to play it with me. Applejack doesn’t understand it and Big Macintosh always says he’s too busy, I just think he doesn’t understand it either but won’t admit it.” He inclined his head gently to acknowledge her statement before focusing intently upon his veritable army of variously shaped, shiny plastic soldiers. After a brief period of consideration he decided to start with the Réti Opening, ensuring that the board would be permeated with closed positions, making it difficult for an amateur to exploit

As expected, Wesker utterly dominated the match. He wasn’t one to provide mercy, even in something as trivial as a game of chess; his goal was to win and he would pursue that goal until it was fulfilled, simple as that. As soon as the blond played his final move, guaranteeing a checkmate and a comprehensive victory, he smiled lightly at the filly, “A good game, Miss Applebloom, would you like to play another?”

A dazed look remained upon the face of the magenta-haired filly, one which had appeared fairly early on in the match and had lingered for the entirety of the contest. “Wow. Y’all must be the greatest chess player in Equestria; I’ve never seen anything like that.” Applebloom’s decision as to whether or not she wished to replay the match was not heard as her two siblings entered before she could voice it. “Applejack, Big Macintosh!” She darted out of her seat and ran up to her brother and sister, greeting each with customary eagerness as they entered the farmhouse. Wesker offered only a lazy smirk to the pair of them as they digested the scene laid before their eyes.

Unsurprisingly it was Applejack who spoke first, “Well, I’m guessin’ y’all just lost at chess to my sister, she loves that game.”
Wesker let out a faintly mocking laugh to accompany his growing smirk, “I am afraid you have misjudged the situation, Miss Applejack. I was the victor, though Miss Applebloom certainly has talent for her young age.”

Applejack chuckled lightly as a blush spread across her younger sister’s face at the stallion’s praise, “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised y’all won, Al, you seem the type to get this brainy stuff.” Wesker’s grin remained fixed in place as he indicated to the seat opposite, “I don’t think so, chess makes my head hurt.” He scoffed lightly and turned his gaze to the muscular red stallion, raising a questioning eyebrow and indicating to the chess board.

“Ah’m all right, Mr Wesker. Would love to play y’all but I’m gonna be a mite busy cooking this here dinner.” The large earth pony then all but scampered off to the kitchen area to prepare the meal he had in mind, causing the blond stallion to glance sidelong at Applebloom who giggled lightly at her assessments of her siblings being absolutely correct. He responded with a ghost of a smile.

Wesker then occupied himself by rearranging all the pieces to their previous pristine state as Applejack and her younger sister discussed their respective days. Try as he might, Wesker could not find any degree of solace or comfort in this homely scene; all he could think of was the tomes he had left within Twilight’s library and the information he could be gleaning at this very moment. Dwelling on his foolishness would do him no good, however, and he chose instead to run through a series of tactical openings upon Applebloom’s chessboard, analysing the strengths and weaknesses of each and summating their offensive and defensive capabilities. Birkin had always commented on how utterly focused Wesker was when playing chess, to a degree which eluded him even during experiments and lab reports. The blond had told Birkin that he focused so keenly on their games so that he could prove how much more intelligent he was than his friend. Truthfully, he found their games to be a welcome distraction from the incredibly rare but still powerful moral quandaries he found himself having over Umbrella’s work. Still, he was not pathetic and weak-minded enough to believe that their results were not worth the methods used to obtain them. On the contrary, what they had achieved was worth the death and torture of infinitely more than what they had actually allowed.

You’re all heart, Albert.

Obviously so. He could only pray that God could forgive him for not being a mindless cretin, happy with apathy and decay, discarding worthwhile research on the basis of a fatally flawed system of morality. His venomous musings were curtailed by the re-arrival of Big Macintosh as he introduced a series of daffodil and daisy sandwiches, with cooked carrots by the side. A sheepish expression was on the face of the red stallion, clearly due to the lack of actual cooking involved in the meal, especially since he used it as an excuse to avoid playing chess. Nonetheless, Wesker gratefully accepted the dish as he realised just how ravenous he truly was. Applebloom was told to go to bed around half an hour after the dish was finished, the filly complying reluctantly as she slowly trooped up the stairs. After a couple more hours of amicable conversation, Applejack and Big Macintosh also departed to their places of rest, leaving Wesker alone to sleep on the sofa.

Drifting off into an easy sleep, the blond former scientist ‘awoke’ to find himself in a dream landscape of a place he recognised incredibly well. Dark was by his side once more, awaiting his analysis...

Albert Wesker and the Rebirth

Author’s Note: Update frenzy!!! Dream/ Flashback sequence is based on the REmake for GameCube. I recommend it. Also based upon the ‘Rebirth’ mission of Umbrella Chronicles, I know UC has a Wesker death scene but I prefer the REmake one so I just cobbled them together, Got a lot more spare time now that uni has finished... enjoy. As always, I love you for your feedback, thank you so much. :D

Dark smiled politely as Wesker took some time to digest the scene that lay before him; he chose to ignore her for the moment due to her little stunt earlier. He was in the laboratories of the Arklay mansion and was viewing the moments prior to his first death. Glancing at himself, the blond noticed that he was wearing the same STARS uniform as his doppelganger and examined it closely, feeling a wave of extremely uncharacteristic nostalgia whilst doing so.

Finally, he deemed Dark worthy of his attention, “Hello dear heart, I can see why you brought me here.” His words were matter-of-fact but both his tone and body language were cold, alerting Dark to a detail she had already assumed before he even spoke and she sought instantly to rectify the situation.

“I apologise for my earlier intrusion.”

Wesker scoffed and swiftly ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to cool his belligerence, “The word intrusion implies that your forcible entry into my mind was a minor transgression.” He summoned all his seemingly infinite willpower to keep his cool, “I will not be made a fool of, Miss Dark. Do not dare attempt to undermine our agreement or you will regret it; you said you wished to learn of me... you are learning now: I am not some puppet to be manipulated and controlled, if you assume that I am then clearly you have made a heinous mistake in attempting to gain my trust.”

“I understand Albert Wesker but you must also understand that I have a history of betrayal behind me. Call me paranoid or irrational but I cannot allow another to use me for their own means.”

He cocked his head to the side in mild contemplation, “I do not wish to be your enemy, dear heart. The things you have said and the way you conduct yourself suggests to me that we could be stalwart allies. I will overlook your indiscretion this once, ensure it does not repeat itself or we shall fall out.”

She bowed her head lightly, “Of course Albert Wesker.” Dark’s eyes darted to the rapidly typing form of Wesker’s past self before returning to the man himself, seeking some form of clarification.

Wesker let out a protracted sigh and offered his smoky acquaintance a light smirk, “What exactly would you like to know?”

“Everything.”

“Wouldn’t we all, dear heart? Can you narrow it down?”

She let out a tinkling laugh before reassessing her question, “How will this memory be important?”

Before he could even answer, the door swung open, revealing a far younger Chris Redfield wearing an incredibly familiar expression of fierce determination, blood spattered upon his midriff. Unfortunately, it was from the unnatural BOWs he had encountered within the depths of the mansion, as opposed to his own. The first word he spoke was also expected,

“Wesker!”

The real Wesker indicated lazily towards his former subordinate, looking in Dark’s direction as he did so. “That is Chris Redfield.”

Once more, the blond was treated to the bizarre experience of witnessing his own memories playing out in front of him as ‘he’ replied, “So you’ve come... Chris you make me proud but then, you are one of my men.” Dream Wesker continued typing, not paying attention to the green-clad STARS sharpshooter.

This inattention clearly caused Redfield to become complacent as he replied sarcastically with his gun still holstered, “Thanks.”

With deftness, speed and precision, Wesker instantly turned and struck Chris with the back of his hand before following up the blow with two kicks in quick succession to the midriff and face of the brunette which resulted in Redfield falling to the floor, an opportunity Wesker rapidly seized upon by pointing his gun at his fallen comrade’s face.

Outrage crossed the surprised features of Chris’ face. “Since when, Wesker?”

The STARS captain remained implacable, only arching an eyebrow as he replied, “I’m afraid I don’t know you’re talking about.”

Rage flared up within Chris, “Since when have they been slipping you a pay check?”

Dark turned to Wesker in bemusement but the real entity merely shook his head, raised a finger to his lips and indicated for her to continue watching. There was a momentary pause and a small smirk appeared on the blond’s face as he made a realisation and a glass of white wine appeared in his hand, causing Dark to laugh out loud.

His clone dismissed Chris’ accusation, “I think you’re a bit confused.” His face was an unreadable mask, “I’ve always been with Umbrella, STARS were Umbrella’s...” He paused, a small, conceited smile crossing his lips, “No, rather my little piggies.” Chris gasped as Wesker explained his plans. An angry attempt to seize the gun pointed at him was easily thwarted by the scientist as he finally came to the crux of his dialogue, “Time for show and tell.”

Despite the outwardly calm facade his double appeared to maintain, Wesker remembered that his entire being had vibrated with tension at this point; though he was almost certain his plan would be a total success, there was always the chance that he would not awake from the planned self-sacrifice and that possibility had definitely been present in his mind at the time. He ordered Chris to stand up before pressing the final button which would ensure the release of the Tyrant. Bubbles issued within enormous test tube which contained the monstrous creation as the fluid slowly drained from the glass case.

“The ultimate life form: Tyrant.” Wesker heard himself speak those words and smirked at his own naivety. He supposed that he never could have known that he himself would become the true ‘ultimate life form’ after his resurrection.

A mocking laugh issued from an incredulous Chris, instantly wiping the smile off Wesker’s face, “Wesker... You’ve become senile!”

The thought that arose in his mind was almost identical to the words that his doppelganger articulated as the latter stood before the tyrant’s cage, “Chris, you’ll never understand.” The real Wesker took a deep breath in preparation for what he was about to see as Dark looked utterly lost in the scenario. “It’s magnificent.” Dark smirked and mouthed the words ‘drama queen’ at the tall STARS captain causing his mouth to twist in suppressed humour. In the blink of an eye, the Tyrant lunged outwards, smashing through the glass and impaling the blond upon its sharp, twisted claw before effortlessly tossing him aside. The memory warped and interweaved before dissolving entirely and leaving the pair in total blackness.
Wesker turned to his smoky companion, inexplicably seeing her outline despite the pitch darkness of both her and the surrounding scenery, “What exactly just happened, Miss Dark?”

She, however, remained totally shocked at what she had just witnessed, “You died?”

He rolled his eyes at her incredulity, “Yes, twice, I was something of a trendsetter. Now explain what has just happened.”

Now it was Dark’s turn to be dismissive, “Do you usually remember what happens during your periods of death?”

Wesker felt somewhat sheepish, “Ah, I see. Then we must merely wait for my awakening.” At her curious look he elaborated, “A virus provided by my friend, William Birkin. I had assumed at the time that it was his expertise that had created it.” A dark shadow crossed his face as the scenery slowly began to lighten and reassume its previous form, “I was wrong.” He glowered at her curious look, “I will not elaborate further.” She smiled cockily but indicated for him to continue, “This death was a necessary component of the big picture. I assumed I would wake up with Chris dead, the combat data of the Tyrant present and superhuman abilities aiding me in the selling of that data to one of Umbrella’s profitable rivals.” At her inquisitive glance, he expanded once more, “Umbrella was a sinking ship, being driven aground by foolish business practices and madmen posing as creators. I had found a way to transcend their ilk in every manner possible.”

Dark watched as the background finally reformed and a blood-soaked Wesker dragged himself from the laboratory floor as warning alarms blared from every possible angle. His quick mind instantly calculated that his plan had failed and he whipped his glasses off in repressed anger before hurrying to a nearby computer and attempting to retrieve the total combat data gleaned from the night and make the best of a terrible situation. The Red Queen made herself known and she informed him of his revoked access; this unwanted revelation caused Wesker to smash easily through the glass screen mere moments before his eyes reformed themselves into their demonic status and he uttered an ominous threat, “You will regret this, my lady. That I promise.” Once the pledge had been made, he sought to make his escape, using the opportunity to “take the virus for a test drive” as he put it. Wesker easily dispatched a wave of enemies that breached the lab door, remarking upon the increased speed and reflexes his new body allowed him. The escape retained a steady pattern of dispatching foes and Dark used the opportunity to tear her eyes away from the action and focus her attention upon her potential ally.

“What was crossing your mind at this point?”

Wesker remained stony faced as he gently sipped his summoned wine, “Survival. Nothing more, nothing less; I was impressed by the incredible power I possessed but it was merely a tool... a way in which to gain what I wanted, and what I wanted was to live to gain my revenge.”

Their conversation was briefly interrupted by their entrance into an elevator after the Wesker of the past. Dark piped up once more, “You were that logical and calculating about your own death?”

Wesker shrugged, “It was part of a larger plan, a necessary and exceedingly important part but a mere component of a much larger entity nonetheless.”

She shook her head disbelievingly, “You are a remarkable man, Albert Wesker.”

He smirked, “Congratulations dear heart, it usually takes people far longer to realise that.” The elevator arrived on the higher floors and all three present removed themselves from its presence. Almost instantaneously, Wesker was confronted with two foes within the memory; he unleashed a bullet directly into the skull of one chimera, ending its pathetic life in a heartbeat before hitting another with an immensely strong kick, sending it flying backwards and resulting in the beast breathing its last.

His clone laughed and then spoke as he basked in the glory of his own ability, “What amazing power!” Crimson head zombies were dispatched with similar ease as he made his way further through the creature-infested mansion which had previously been his workplace for over a decade. A series of hunters and chimeras foolishly thought him to be easy prey and rapidly found out that the opposite was in fact true. More zombies who vaguely resembled former work collegues met a similarly brutal end at his hands, he was power incarnate and the feeling was indescribable. A fact he could not, and did not wish to, verbalise to Dark. Luckily he was saved from having to break the silence by his dream self speaking aloud, “Chris... Jill... I do hope you survive long enough for us to have our tear-filled reunion.” He laughed as he slaughtered his way through the creatures he had helped create, causing Dark to examine the real Wesker with an eyebrow held aloft. The blond turned to face her with an arrogant smile upon his face and she waved a hand dismissively and continued watching the massacre.

At that moment, there was a clanking of chains and the scraping of wood upon the floor. A creature as hideous as any Dark had ever witnessed materialised from around the corner, moaning and shrieking as it advanced menacingly towards Wesker. The real entity saw the question within Dark’s eyes but chose to ignore it. “I will explain Lisa Trevor on another day, let us just say that I don’t get along well with children and leave it at that.”

His duplicate punctuated the shocked silence that followed with a surprised declaration, “You?? I thought we’d disposed of you!” He fired a sequence of bullets at the thing’s head and torso before striking with unstoppable force at the monstrosity’s midriff. She sank to the ground and Wesker walked away slowly, “Nobody’s perfect... Not even you, Lisa.” He then travelled with astonishing rapidity as the countdown ticked ever close to the utter annihilation of both the mansion and the newly arisen Albert Wesker. This burst of speed allowed him to near the entrance hall with minutes remaining and he pontificated aloud upon his situation, “The hourglass is running low, better pick up the pace.” As he went to advance through a nearby door, Lisa Trevor herself blocked his path and he averted his course, leaving her behind with a simple “No time to play.” Dark stared on in morbid fascination at the lumbering thing that dogged Wesker’s every step and laughed noisily when the STARS captain spoke to himself once more, “She must like me.” As his duplicate travelled, dispatching multiple BOWs and avoiding the lethal grip of Lisa, he eventually found himself in the entrance hall itself. After a final, frenetic battle with the tentacle-clad atrocity, he was able to outmanoeuvre her with his newly gained superhuman abilities and trap her underneath a giant, glass chandelier, leaving her with some simple advice as he made good his escape, “Be a good girl and stay dead this time.”

He sprinted at an inhuman pace, Dark and Wesker himself keeping pace with the doppelganger before the scene faded away and the blond was left to summarise the situation to the smoky being. He decided to dramatise it as much as possible for his own amusement, “And so I was reborn like a phoenix emerging from the flame, I no longer needed Umbrella. A new horizon stretched out before me. I had risen beyond the human race and cheated death itself, leaving nothing to oppose me.” He smirked, “Any questions, dear heart? Have you learned anything important about me today?”

She returned his self-confident smile, “I have indeed, Albert Wesker. You are ruthless and utterly dedicated to the advancement of your own agenda; you were willing to give up your own life for the purpose of gaining power between the typical means of mortals and finally, you have an irrepressible flair for the dramatic... but I was already aware of that. I shall see you tomorrow night; I pray your next memory impresses me as much as this one.”

Wesker let out a bark of laughter, “I aim to please, Miss Dark.”

With that, the Arklay Mountains and forest disappeared and Wesker found himself upon the Apple family’s sofa again... a pony once more.

Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Part II

Author’s Note: Wesker meets Gilda! Let me know what you think. Love you all for your feedback and for just being yourselves too.

Pinkie Pie defying the laws of gravity had surprisingly little impact upon Wesker, he had realised long ago that the magenta mare defied the vast majority of the laws of the universe... even more than this entire world did. Attempting to comprehend how her mind functioned was a task even he was not capable of completing. Besides, he had far more vital errands to undertake, specifically the study of Equestria as a whole.

He realised that trying to seize the Elements of Harmony directly was almost certainly doomed to failure; they were inherently geared towards those whose personalities reflected what they represented. Therefore he would merely have to reinvest his efforts into finding a workaround to that particular issue; he had plenty of time in which to do so. After a fair trek he found himself within the pristine Ponyville town centre once more and found a comfortable looking bench on which he could continue his reading. Running contrary to that aim, however, before Wesker could seat himself, was a rapidly spinning Pinkie Pie heading towards the ground at an alarming rate and once he analysed her trajectory, it seemed as though she was heading... straight... towards... him...

Oh God, you can’t avoid it now Al, just try and stop her from having a horrible crash.

How??

With your invincible body.

WHAM!! The solid contact of the hyperactive earth pony’s flying device ripped the air from the blond stallion’s lungs and sent him hurtling backwards, landing heavily upon his back. As though that wasn’t enough punishment enough from the universe, the strength of the impact caused Pinkie to be thrown from her seat and launched directly towards Wesker. She didn’t appear to be particularly fazed, however...

“Wheeeeeeeeeee!”

She landed directly upon the stricken former scientist as he did his best to both shield himself and catch her at the same time, resulting in a battered Wesker breathing heavily as a surprisingly composed and nonchalant Pinkie Pie lay atop of him. She made tentative eye contact:

“Hello Ally!”

“Get off of me.”

“Okie Dokie Lokie.” She sprung onto her hooves, causing the blond to wheeze at the brief compression the movement caused before he groaned and slowly hauled himself upright to join the instantly alert Pinkie Pie, “Sorry about that Ally, are you okay?”

Wesker popped the joints in his neck, “I am alive and that is no small feat.” He gestured towards the now wrecked flying device, “Did your machine finally realise it was breaching the known laws of the universe and stop working?”

Pinkie stroked her chin thoughtfully, “No... that mean old Gilda made me crash! I can’t believe a Griffon could be so mean! Even though I don’t know anything about Griffons... but I assumed that they wouldn’t be that mean. I need to tell Twilight about this!”

With a final apology and a discarding of her crash helmet, she darted off towards the library, leaving Wesker to dust himself off and shake his head disbelievingly as he picked his saddlebag up and carefully sat himself down on his bench of choice, which now seemed like an awful decision, considering its position with relation to air disasters.

It seemed apparent that Pinkie Pie getting into various crashes was nothing new in Ponyville; though many ponies came to check if he was all right, none of them expressed any degree of shock that she had plunged from the sky in such an abnormal contraption. Once he had shrugged off the incident and started to read a particularly fascinating tome on the concept and nature of magic, one final pony came to see if he was still functioning.

“Hey. Are you all right?”

He peeked around the corner of the book; it was an orange-eyed cyan unicorn mare with a sky blue mane which contained a sole white streak running through it. She possessed what appeared to be a harp cutie mark but Wesker made a mental note to not examine it too closely, strangers tended to dislike intense scrutinisation of their rears. He gave the newcomer a thin smile, “Indeed, it was a good job I was here to catch Miss Pinkie. I assume this kind of thing happens often?”

She chuckled lightly, “Pretty much, it’s just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. I mean, ponies call me quirky but there’s no use in even trying to understand her. I’m Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings. What’s your name?”

Small talk. Fantastic. “My name is Albert Wesker; it’s a pleasure, Miss Heartstrings.”

She beamed in response, “Same. Don’t think I’ve seen you in Ponyville before, Albert, when did you get here?”

He hid his desire to return to his reading as soon as possible, she was pleasant enough and it wasn’t as though he was in a tremendous hurry, “A few days ago, I awoke in Sweet Apple Acres with amnesia.”

The mare clunked a hoof against her forehead, “Jeez, of course! I was at your party, I remember you catching that cake... that was amazing!”

He smiled once more, in a warmer fashion this time, “My thanks, I must admit I wanted to save it for fairly selfish reasons, I hadn’t had my slice yet.”

She laughed out loud and Wesker noted how easy she was to get along with, with no signs of the ‘quirkiness’ she had mentioned earlier. As the conversation flowed, however, she eventually showed a sign of her eccentricities, one which shocked Wesker. “Ah, you’re reading about magic, right?” He nodded, “Tell me something... Do you believe in humans?”

The book slipped from his grasp and landed heftily upon the ground as he sluggishly rotated to face her, “What?”

The magnitude of his reaction caused her to falter, “Well, it’s just that... I was kind of wondering...”

Wesker interrupted her seamlessly, a knowing smirk on his lips to hide his surprise, “I do, Miss Heartstrings. Irrevocably. Why do you ask?”

Lyra grinned joyfully in response, “I knew I’d find someone, Bon Bon always says that I shouldn’t bother people by talking about fairytales but I always thought that somepony with an interest in magic would agree with me.”

Wesker scratched a hoof across his chin as he attempted to puzzle out how this was even possible, “What can you tell me about humans?”

She leaned forwards, clearly eager to be discussing her favourite topic, “Apparently they existed thousands and thousands of years ago, even before Celestia, humans used to be the number one race in Equestria but one day they suddenly disappeared and ponies were able to take control.”

He cocked his head to the side, something about the way she was discussing it made him highly suspicious, “I assume this isn’t a widely held theory, Miss Lyra?”

The mare’s ears flattened against her cranium nervously, “Not exactly Albert, it’s kind of... my theory.”

Wesker hummed in consideration as his brain made multiple calculations, “How exactly did you come up with this theory? What do you believe a human to be?”

She looked even more anxious as she struggled to come up with an answer, “Don’t think that I’m crazy...”

He smirked, “I’ll try my best.”

“I kind of had a dream about humans, and I knew that it was true. Ponies sort of have an idea of what they are but most of them think they’re mythological creatures. They stand on two legs and they have ‘hands’ and ‘feet’.” Lyra’s tongue struggled over the foreign words but she pressed on, “Pony historians don’t think they ever existed but they do agree that if they did then they wouldn’t have been capable of magic, because they don’t have a horn.”

Albert Wesker was in a world where talking ponies were the norm but humans were the stuff of myths and legends. He couldn’t bring himself to truly accept that fact, even his experiences in Equestria so far only went part way to convincing him he was an active participant in reality and this bizarre coincidence made him consider that position very carefully. “That makes sense Miss Lyra and for what it’s worth, I place a great deal of faith within your theory.”

She responded gratefully and informed the former STARS captain that she had to leave but that he was very welcome to talk to her whenever he wanted. Wesker’s musings regarding the unicorn once she had left were cut short by the appearance of Pinkie Pie across the market square, she appeared distracted and upset whilst sipping forlornly at a milkshake but Wesker was almost certain that he wouldn’t be able to comprehend her woes, even if she told him directly. He would guess that Miss Sparkle had told Pinkie something she didn’t wish to hear; maybe she had told the earth pony that she should stop attempting flight.

If only...

Far outweighing the presence of Pinkie Pie, however, was the arrival of Rainbow Dash and a bizarre Lion/ Eagle hybrid creature Wesker assumed to be ‘Gilda the Griffon’. Unbeknownst to the pair of them, both Wesker and Pinkie Pie were examining them very closely indeed. Once Rainbow Dash took flight, the newly arrived Griffon strutted arrogantly around the market square, doing nothing to endear herself to the blond stallion.

Friends with Rainbow Dash, eh? What a shock that the pegasus would keep such company...

It appeared as though many of the ponies in Ponyville were too polite to stare at Gilda, despite Pinkie making Wesker believe Griffons were rarely spotted within the small town. She sauntered over to one of the many fruit and vegetable stalls, terrifying an elderly citizen with a prank in the process before making a snide remark to the owner and departing.

Right, this one’s definitely a bitch Al, fire at will.

Wesker snorted internally, he didn’t care enough to confront her. Besides, she only had an attitude; it wasn’t any of his business if she wanted to act like a cretin. He noted Pinkie Pie speaking to herself as the green pensioner pony fled incredibly slowly, no doubt forming her own judgements on Gilda. Subsequently, the Griffon passed both Lyra and the pony Wesker assumed to be Bon Bon, using them as a cover to steal an apple from the stall they were perusing with her long, whip-like tail.

The flare of annoyance within Wesker was quickly extinguished by the sight of Fluttershy leading some ducks and ducklings through the town centre; he caught her eye as she passed and the pale yellow pegasus offered him a shy smile, one which he returned with a confident smirk. Then she accidentally collided with a careless Gilda.

“Please excuse me...” Fluttershy, as always, was meek and apologetic despite the fault lying with the lion/eagle hybrid.

Rather than begrudgingly accept the pegasus’ apology, as Wesker expected, Gilda retorted sharply, “I’m walking here!”

Hit her Al, hit her hit her hit her.

He sighed at Joy but nevertheless, he stood up and moved closer to the scene until he was only a few feet away.
Fluttershy once more attempted to stammer out an apology but was rudely and mockingly dismissed the Griffon, “Why don’t you just watch where you’re going dofus??”

She was advancing rapidly towards the mortified and teary-eyed pegasus as Wesker tracked alongside the pair and finally he could allow it no longer, “Is there a problem here?” The ice in the blond pony’s voice was palpable and he lowered his eyewear in order to deliver a glare which contained the contempt this tormenter warranted.

She halted in her tracks and turned away from a noticeably relieved Fluttershy to square up to her challenger, “Maybe. But I don’t see how it’s your business, dweeb.”

Rage flared up inside Wesker and he struggled to keep it under wraps, making sure his voice contained nothing but arctic warning “I am making it my business. The collision was your fault and you owe Miss Fluttershy an apology, one which she is far too good natured to wring out of you like you deserve.” He paused as his lip curled upwards, “I have no such qualms.”

She took a step forward in a misguided attempt to intimidate the former Umbrella scientist but looked mildly surprised when he stood firm and stared fiercely into her eyes. After a few tense moments, she waved a dismissive claw in his direction, “Whatever. All these lame ponies are driving me buggy, I gotta bail.” With that and a final furious glare at Wesker her wings spread and she soared upwards into the air.

Pinkie walked over towards where both the blond stallion and a shaking Fluttershy stood, seething with righteous indignation, “I can’t believe her! She’s a grump and a thief and a bully! The worst kind of mean meanie-pants there is!” Wesker nodded in agreement as he angrily watched the rapidly disappearing figure melt into the skyline, “This calls for extreme measures, Pinkie Pie style!”

Wesker furrowed his brow, he had only known the pink earth pony for a few days but he had an idea of what form these ‘extreme measures’ would take, “Let me guess... a party?”

Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Part III

Author’s Note: Sorry for the massive delay guys, have been pretty ill recently but I was still probably well enough to write a couple of chapters so boo to me. I suck. But I will start making it up to you starting with this much-anticipated (I hope) chapter. Enjoy. :D

Wesker only really had one priority when it came to this party. No murder. Ordinarily that wouldn’t be the goal he would set himself for a social gathering but something about this Gilda aggravated the former scientist to an astronomical level. She was basically Rainbow Dash to the power of infinity with none of the pegasus’ admittedly scarce redeeming features. Additionally, he would appreciate it if he could blend seamlessly into the background and avoid any sort of incident but he had come to learn during his time in Equestria that he may as well wish for a miracle. There was certainly no way that he was going to shy away should the Griffon antagonise him, that was for sure.

She was mean to Fluttershy, Al! The nice one! I’m giving you a blank cheque for destruction; just tear her face off or something!

Unlikely. Tearing anyone’s face off was what he would classify as ‘an incident’, not to mention ‘a murder’, breaking both of his steadfast rules for the get-together. Pinkie Pie had departed at a speed approaching mach 5 in order to rapidly assemble a party for the brutish newcomer to Ponyville. Wesker assumed it was designed to make the horrible bitch ‘happier’ but he had little faith in the hyperactive mare’s plan being a success, some people were just determined to be as obstinate and unpleasant as possible.

Hmm, does that sound familiar Albert?

At least he had the good courtesy to hide his disgust in the world behind a veil of ice and feigned politeness.

Yes. You’re a true hero, Albert. Congratulations.

Now he had time to kill... Pinkie had scheduled the party for around 7 in the evening, leaving Wesker with a fair few hours until he had to force himself to grace the said party with his illustrious presence. His discomfort at attending was unfortunately bettered by his fear of what might become of him should he skip a Pinkie Pie hosted party. It wouldn’t have come as a total shock had it been the case that the rambunctious mare crashed her flying device atop of him for ever doubting the magnificence of her celebrations.

The reading material re-emerged and for a blissful couple of hours, Wesker was once more lost in the fascinating facets of magical theory as he sat comfortably upon the bench. However, the fates conspired to rob him of this peaceful interlude as he heard his name called from across the market square; luckily the voice was a friendly one which he recognised.

“May I help you, Miss Applebloom?”

The filly bounded over, putting Wesker’s mind faintly at ease. If the news she brought was disastrous then she had an unusual way of conveying it, “Howdy Mr Wesker, Applejack sent me to bring ya back to the farm. Needs you and Big Macintosh to deliver some vegetables around Ponyville.”

Wesker snorted in mild irritation, “I believe she told me there was no work to do today but I suppose there is no rest for the wicked.” He placed his tome in his satchel once more and indicated lazily for the magenta-maned filly to lead the way.

Applebloom nodded sagely in response, “Well, I think the orders took her by surprise. She wasn’t expecting any for today, not to mention that ponies usually come and collect them for themselves.”

The blond stallion frowned, “Then why aren’t they doing so?”

She shrugged, “Busy, I guess.”

With that satisfactory but slightly rankling answer, they travelled to Sweet Apple Acres. Despite being fond of the filly in the sense that he wished no specific harm upon her, he made no real effort to engage Applebloom in conversation, replying only when her own boredom was too overwhelming for her to bear and she had to blurt out something for him to respond to. Frankly, Wesker’s mind was almost entirely wrapped up in the book he had been reading until recently and having the tantalising prospect of being able to read it until the party came around ripped away was somewhat annoying.

Finally, he arrived at the farmhouse where Big Macintosh was waiting for him to assist in the delivery of a rather substantial load of celery and sweetcorn. Two cartloads of the simple vegetables were present, one of which was already hooked up to the large red stallion. Wesker made the rather simple deduction that he was supposed to drag the remaining farm cart and tethered himself to the weighty entity without being prompted. Big Macintosh nodded approvingly as the pair set off back towards Ponyville, Applebloom waving a fond farewell before darting back inside.

As they slowly walked towards the town centre, Wesker decided to become a more active participant in this interchange than he was previously, “So, have you heard about the welcoming party for the Griffon?”

Macintosh nodded slowly, “Eeyup.”

Wesker turned ever so slightly to face his companion, “I assume you’re going?”

The hefty stallion frowned, “Not too sure, Mr Wesker. I’m mighty tired and not exactly in the party mood.”

A bemused expression crossed the blond’s face, mixed in with a healthy dose of cynicism, “Are you saying you actually have the option to not attend one of Miss Pinkie’s parties?”

Light chuckling issued forth from Big Macintosh, “Eeyup. When you’ve lived in Ponyville as long as I have then you can miss a couple without Miss Pinkie breaking down your door.”

“Then I am jealous of your roots in Ponyville.” Wesker paused and his nose wrinkled in distaste, “I would rather not attend any party in honour of... Miss Gilda.”

Big Macintosh gave the blond a long, serious look, “Not because she’s a Griffon, Mr Wesker?”

He waved a hoof dismissively, “Not at all. She’s just incredibly belligerent and unpleasant to be around.”

The larger stallion nodded in response, “I’m thinkin’ you’ll be telling her this at the party.” Wesker caught the twinkle in his eye before he turned away, “Tempted to come along just for the entertainment.”

Wesker sighed, “I wish to avoid an incident. Hopefully Miss Pinkie will work her magic and we’ll both be the best of friends by bedtime.”

Macintosh looked sceptically at his acquaintance, “Seems unlikely, Mr Wesker.”

A smirk was the blond’s response, “I live in hope.”

After what could only be described as an exhausting few hours, Wesker and Big Macintosh eventually delivered their respective carts of produce, once the latter had briefed the former on where they were intended to go. A quick check of the time once the pair returned to Sweet Apple Acres revealed that it was half past 6 and therefore it was time for Wesker to travel to Sugarcube Corner and cause an incident...

Very optimistic, Al.

...have a lovely party. That’s what he meant, of course. And so it was that with Applejack and an increasing sense of dread, he departed Sweet Apple Acres towards Sugarcube Corner. Big Macintosh was able to forgo the festivities due to the sheer volume of work he had undertaken that day but apparently being involved in an aeroplane disaster was not sufficient reason to miss a Pinkie Pie party for a Ponyville newcomer. Nor was the plague, Wesker suspected.

As the pair trotted along, the confused orange mare turned to the pale stallion, “What’s this party even for, Al?”

Wesker sighed,

Good question

“It’s for one of Rainbow Dash’s old friends. A Griffon named Gilda.”

Applejack paused, “Oh...” Her brow furrowed in thought, “Who’s this Gilda I’ve heard nothing about?”

Wesker stroked his chin with a hoof, “It does seem unusual that Rainbow Dash has never mentioned her before.”

The blond mare shrugged, “Ah, never mind. Have you met her? What’s she like?”

Be diplomatic. Be diplomatic. Be diplomatic.

“Well, I’m going to try not to kill her.”

Nice.

Wesker blamed tiredness; it had been a very trying day.

Applejack blinked once, then twice in the awkward silence that followed, “Uh huh. That nice?”

He shifted uncomfortably as they walked, “Perhaps Miss Gilda and I are merely conflicting personality types, I daresay that she is not the first to have run afoul of me.”

She smirked knowingly, “You mean you’re difficult to get along with? Well, shoot, blow me down with a feather.”

He rolled his eyes and gave her a light shove, “I happen to be perfectly amicable. Some ponies merely try my patience.”

Applejack laughed and arched an eyebrow at a smirking Wesker, who merely shifted his shades up to the bridge of his nose and shrugged as the two finally arrived at Sugarcube Corner, where the guests were starting to pile into the venue. Side-by-side, the pair entered into the pink wonderland that was Sugarcube Corner.

Rarity came over to greet himself and Applejack and the two mares exchanged pleasantries. A quick glance around revealed that Gilda had not yet arrived and Wesker hoped beyond hope that the Griffon was crass enough to skip her own welcoming party. What he did see, however, was Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle conversing about something that was just beyond Wesker’s aural range. No doubt they were discussing the Griffon herself, judging by the open, honest curiosity upon the lavender unicorn’s face and the shy, reticent look gracing Fluttershy’s... though the latter probably wore that expression every hour of the day. Their conversation ended and the yellow pegasus tentatively approached Pinkie Pie, who was gaily welcoming the arrivals to the party. This time he was able to catch what they were saying.

“Um... Pinkie Pie... About this party for Gilda... Do you really think it’s a good idea?”

Sing it, Sister. You’re preaching to the choir.

Shut up, Joy

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about mean old Gilda; your Auntie Pinkie Pie’s got it all taken care of.”

Lovely patronising there, top notch stuff

Missing Fluttershy’s muttered response about being a year older than her, the bubblegum earth pony bounced over to greet the ‘star of the show’, “Gilda! I’m so honoured to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie parties! And I really, truly sincerely hope you feel welcome amongst all us ponyfolk!” If cloying sentiment were a liquid then Wesker was sure the entire room would have drowned by now and the earth pony stretched out a hoof to finalise the welcome.

A disinterested and frankly taken aback Gilda slowly accepted the appendage, only to receive a jolt from Pinkie Pie’s ‘hoof buzzer’.

Ah, I see how it is, Al. Prank Gilda until she reveals her true self then gets kicked out of Ponyville. Gotta love that Pinkie.

Indeed... it was genius in its own way, no one would blame Pinkie for harmless pranks and Gilda would almost certainly be seen as overreacting. His interference probably wasn’t even necessary. Perfect.

The Griffon looked mutinous at the effects of Pinkie’s high jinks but her brief flash of anger was instantly quelled by the laughter of Rainbow Dash as she entered the room and jovially commented on the prank, forcing Gilda to begrudgingly say, “Yeah, good one, Pinkie Pie.”

Rainbow Dash then pointed vaguely towards Wesker, Rarity and Applejack, “Come on G, I’ll introduce you to some of my other friends.”

The Griffon smiled with infuriating falseness, “Right behind you, Dash!” She glanced over in Wesker’s direction and turned back to have a quiet talk with the still giggling Pinkie Pie before doing a double-take and fixing a glare upon the blond stallion. Knowing that no one else was watching him, Wesker allowed his anger to channel through him and his eyes to... heat up, as it were.

Her startled, disbelieving reaction made him think that this party had a great deal of potential indeed...

Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Final Part.

Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Final Part

Author's Note: I'm going update crazy! (Comparatively) Bask in the glow my friends. Hope you enjoy, this is the last chapter which links in with Griffon the Brush-Off. Next will be another dream sequence (Not based on any RE game footage) then Boast Busters. You guys are amazing and I love you. Beta’d by the wonderful REV6Pilot.

Watching a flustered and disbelieving Gilda attempting to intimidate an oblivious Pinkie Pie whilst casting nervous glances in his direction ranked fairly high on the list of Wesker's favourite moments in Equestria.

His little eye-modifying stunt was still incredibly amusing to him, but he felt somewhat disquieted now. What if toying with their ability to remerge at will led to the effect remaining permanently? He checked his reflection in the window of Sugarcube Corner slightly nervously, and was relieved to make eye contact with steely blue irises. Clearly that ability would have to be rationed carefully; Wesker would hate to end up a monster amongst normal civilians again with only himself to blame.

It would be more appropriate if your exterior matched your interior, Albert.

Wouldn't it just? That wasn't the way things worked, however. Particularly with Umbrella employees... though they usually ended up being no better than the monsters they helped create.

Present company excluded. Right Albert?

This line of thought was doing nothing to improve the ex-officer's mood, so he decided to scout the room for any distractions. Luckily, he was spared the effort of having to seek them out by Applejack nudging his shoulder and whispering into his ear, "Sheesh, that Gilda sure looks nervous. You think she's shy? Lotta people to meet at once."

Wesker smirked without facing her. "Something like that, I'm sure."

She cast a sidelong glance at the smugly relaxed former scientist. "Or you have something to do with it." The mare examined him closely with more than a slight hint of suspicion. "Ya didn't tell her what y'all think of her, did ya? Trying to scare her off?"

Wesker placed a hoof across his chest in mock hurt. "Oh my wounded heart, would I ever do something so antagonistic?"

Applejack snorted, rolling her eyes, before walking away from the snickering stallion.

The key to enjoying this party seemed to lie in gently riling the arrogant griffon without it boiling over into outright confrontation. Years of experience in letting Umbrella peons know that he hated them without actually using those actual words suggested to Wesker that he could have a great deal of fun here.

Not to mention that Miss Pinkie's plan was running at full power, making his inclusion wholly optional.

Gilda exited Pinkie Pie's company and was attempting to walk dazedly towards the various snacks that had been laid out for the occasion; Pinkie Pie zipped after her and held her tight whilst addressing the room, to the Griffon's obvious distaste. "I'd like you all to meet Gilda, a long time friend of Rainbow Dash! Let's honour her and welcome her to Ponyville!"

The hybrid gave an awkward smile that looked more like a grimace to Wesker, as friendly welcoming voices rang out through the establishment and a beaming Rainbow Dash strolled over to place an affirming hoof on the Griffon's shoulder.
The bubblegum coloured earth pony smiled warmly and indicated towards the snack table. "Please help yourself."

The shaded stallion strolled over to examine the various foodstuffs on display – and to keep a closer eye on the guest of honour. Some rather delicious looking lemon drops caught his eye, and he reached in a hoof in just as Gilda commented aloud, "Ooh, vanilla lemon drops, don't mind if I do!"

Claw met hoof in the recesses of the bowl and the griffon's head snapped up and her eyes narrowed as she realised its owner. An idea rose unbidden into Wesker's mind... What if these confections were part of another prank? They were situated a noticeable distance away from the other snacks after all...

He grinned. "My apologies, Miss Gilda. Of course the main guest has first pick." With a mocking flourish, he withdrew his limb and took a dramatic step backwards. The griffon scoffed and insolently tossed one of the candies into her mouth.
The effect was instantaneous, spectacular and every bit as wonderful as Wesker had anticipated. First her eyes began to water, then beads of sweat began to drip down her face before impressive gouts of flame issued forth from her beak. Clearly these candies had some form of latent enchantment within them that was conditioned to react to saliva.

That book wasn't wasted on you, was it Al?

Certainly not. He had devoured the knowledge within and was still eager to finish it, but that was neither here nor there.
A grinning Rainbow Dash pointed her friend towards the punch bowl and the sputtering griffon was only too willing to oblige, moving at a supersonic rate to reach the liquid relief. Once there, however, the glass she attempted to drain poured its contents down her chest and left her fuming, in more ways than one.

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Well what do you know? Pepper in the vanilla lemon drops and the punch served in a dribble glass."

Pepper, Al. Not a latent enchantment. I swear, you over-think things all the time.

But... the fire...

He shrugged off his own attempt to grapple with the logical consistencies of the situation; this was orchestrated by Pinkie Pie, after all. Wesker was just glad that most of the fundamental tenets of the universe were being adhered to.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash chortled. "Priceless!"

A far less amused Gilda groped for a real glass and flung its contents into her open mouth, glaring at Wesker, who was not attempting to hide his amusement. In his defence, neither were Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash, but he supposed the griffon had given up trying to marshal the earth pony and she had to accept the light-hearted mockery of her old pegasus friend. But now she was staring at Wesker, daring him to carry on with his laughter.

Bad idea, G...

Wesker smiled serenely, slowly sliding a real glass of punch off the counter and gently sipping it, "Tastes much better when you savour it, honey." He peered at her over the tops of his glasses. "Afraid I'll have to give the lemon drops a miss, though."
Wesker's taunting grin remained firmly fixed in place as the griffon struggled to repress a snarl. By casting a glance over his shoulder, the stallion was able to see Twilight Sparkle giving him a look that was somewhere between disapproving and jovial; he returned the fleeting gaze with a wide grin, turning back to his frowning rival. "I hope you're not taking me too seriously, Miss Gilda; after all, I am just a 'dweeb'. What's some light-hearted banter between friends?"

You're having far too much fun here, Al... and I love you for it!

The storm of emotions that played out upon the agitated griffon's face as she desperately attempted to restrain them was disappointingly cut short by Rainbow Dash pointing out the various gifts laid out on the far end of the room. Wesker and multiple other ponies followed in the eager female's wake as she dashed towards the presents, meaning that Twilight was able to stroll past the remorseless stallion and mutter a 'be nice!' in his ear.

He angled his head to make eye contact. "I believe you'll find my behaviour has been impeccably kind and welcoming."

The unicorn scowled as she considered this. "Fine, then be less nice!"

Snorting amusedly, the blond earth pony settled down to watch Gilda open the first of her gifts and found his merriment increasing exponentially once the present erupted with paper snakes, leaving the griffon startled and tense and reminding Wesker of a certain incident in the S.T.A.R.S. office which had occurred what felt like several lifetimes ago.

"Spitting snakes!" Applejack chuckled. "Someone pulled that prank on me last month."

Gilda rolled her eyes. "Ha ha," she responded flatly, "I bet I know who that was."

The venomous glare directed her way didn't faze Pinkie Pie. "You do?"

You know Al, she's either that oblivious or she's actually a total genius.

Wesker had previously shared the same thought; it was rather unnerving.

The griffon stepped back from the assorted offerings with a glower and looked around the room, once more making accidental eye contact with the former scientist.

It's happened too many times to be an accident. There's real chemistry here, Al.

Eurgh. Wesker had vomited at the last party he had attended at Sugarcube Corner, and if Joy made another joke like that, odds are this celebration would end similarly.

Gilda was still staring daggers at Wesker and he felt duty-bound to acknowledge it. There was no way he was simply going to ignore her. The corners of his mouth twitched as he nodded lightly in her direction, causing her scowl to deepen even further until Rainbow Dash gave her a playful tap on the shoulder. "What's up, G? You've got your own Pinkie Pie party; ponies would kill for this chance!"

Glare rapidly switched to wide-eyed surprise. "Nothin's wrong, Dash. I'm really glad to be meeting all your friends."

Griffons are really crap actors, Al.

But most ponies appear to be inherently kind and trusting, meaning that nopony would question her beyond face value. A shame, really.

Then, Rainbow Dash said the words the blond had been savagely looking forward to. "Well, let me introduce you to everypony."

She started with acquaintances, ponies Wesker had seen around Ponyville but had no name to associate them to, such as 'Berry Punch' and 'Carrot Top'. Lyra was included in the extensive sweep round of the current inhabitants of Sugarcube Corner, and Wesker nodded lightly in her direction as she was introduced.

Finally, a bored-looking Gilda was waved in the direction of Rainbow's closest friends... and him. "You already know Pinkie Pie."

A twitch on the griffon's palpebra revealed that she did indeed know the mare.

"This is Applejack, owner of Sweet Apple Acres, maker of the best darn apples in Equestria!"

The Stetson-wearing pony smiled bashfully and nodded politely at the griffon.

"Here we've got Twilight Sparkle, chief egghead of Ponyville and..."

Rainbow trailed off at the unicorn's furrowed brow, rapidly moving onto her next friend. "Rarity. She makes some awesome dresses, not that I'd ever wear them, you know, G."

Rarity's disapproving look melted away at Rainbow's apologetic smile. "Well, it's an absolute pleasure to see you, Miss Gilda. So nice to finally meet one of Rainbow Dash's old friends."

The griffon mumbled something non-committal and the cyan pegasus moved on to a cowering yellow mare. "This here's Fluttershy, she can tame any animal ever!"

The meek pegasus squeaked as Gilda frowned in recognition, her claws curling inwards involuntarily, before the former darted away to the other side of the room. Rainbow threw a sheepish look at her old friend. "She's kinda shy though."

Finally, she indicated towards him. "And this guy is Al..." It was obvious she was going to leave it at that, but the stallion's sharp, convincing look, she reluctantly continued, "...bert Wesker."

He smiled thinly. "We've met. Though I'm sure it's good to put a name to a face." He extended a hoof, "A pleasure to be introduced properly."

For a brief, glorious moment, Wesker thought that the griffon would perhaps lunge for him and give him an excuse to end her miserable existence. Sadly, it was not to be and she merely grasped his limb with her claw and pressed... fairly... hard...

Hmm, that's not really very friendly.

At least she was being subtle about it; the pressure she was exerting was certainly painful, but he wouldn't have to suffer through the embarrassment of somepony 'leaping to his defence'. Besides, it didn't quite compare to dissolving in lava or being impaled by a bio-engineered killing machine. Compared to such incident, it was actually quite relaxing.

Wesker offered a lazy grin and an arched eyebrow as the griffon tried to press down harder without revealing the extra exertion to those present, finding the situation eminently hilarious. "Well, that's a firm hoofshake you have there, Miss Gilda. I believe that means you're trustworthy."

Eventually, a visibly irritated Gilda abandoned the endeavour and released Wesker's lightly aching hoof. Luckily, those present were spared having to analyse what on earth was going on by Pinkie Pie wheeling in a monstrous baked good. "Cake time, everypony!"

"Hey!" Spike eagerly raised a claw. "Can I blow out the candles?"

Twilight smiled in good natured admonishment. "Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles, Spike? She is the guest of honour, after all."

The so-called 'guest of honour' chose this moment to heavily elbow the baby dragon out of the way, "Exactly!"

Huh, maybe you being so much stronger than Gilda made her think that she had a point to prove, Al.

Maybe she's just a horrible bitch.

Could be that, too.

The griffon inhaled deeply before blowing, snuffing out all the candles in one breath and beaming arrogantly in the direction of the assembled ponies. As though inflamed by the heat of Wesker's veiled hatred, the candles relit themselves. A markedly less confident Gilda blew them out once more. And for the third time, the wax creations refused to stay unlit.
The griffon appeared to take the laughter of all those assembled rather personally, battling to blow out the cake's ornaments several more times, until she realised the futility.

"Relighting birthday candles, I love that prank!" Spike snickered. "What a classic."

Gilda, panting heavily, appeared less inclined to agree, but the purple lizard was spared whatever rebuke was coming his way by Pinkie Pie giggling. "Now I wonder who could've done that...?"

She might be better at this than you are, Al.

Gilda managed to avoid snarling outright at the rambunctious mare, settling instead for heavy sarcasm. "Yeah, I wonder..."

Spike rather carelessly decided to make himself the focus of attention again as he burrowed inside the cake, "Who cares? This cake is amazing!"

"Spike!" Twilight responded in shocked fashion.

Gilda looked ready to explode with rage before Rainbow Dash cooled her friend's fiery temper, and the party proceeded without incident... for around 3 seconds. With a plate of the quite delicious cake nestled firmly in his hoof, Wesker saw Gilda grab Pinkie Pie whilst others focused their attention elsewhere and drag her into cover behind the cake, so he edged closer to catch their conversation.

"I'm watching you... like a hawk!"

"Why? Can't you watch me like a griffon?"

His sudden explosion of laughter did not result in him choking to death on pink cake... but that was only through sheer luck.
Once more, the situation was rectified by another interruption, this time Applejack announcing a game of 'pin the tail on the pony'.

In fairness, Al, I don't think she can create more of a scene than you did during this game.

Rarity's eyes lit up. "Oh, my favourite game! Can I go first? Can I have the purple tail?"

Just as the fashionista reached to pick it up, the griffon swooped in and snatched, "Well, I'm the guest of honour and I'll have the purple tail!"

Rarity stared distastefully at the obnoxious guest's back as the latter strutted towards the board, before turning away and inadvertently making eye contact with Wesker, who simply offered a sympathetic smile in return. Pinkie Pie remained relentlessly upbeat. "Gilda should definitely go first! Let's get you blindfolded."

Spike duly obliged despite the player's protests and the hyperactive earth pony spun the griffon around so fast it made even Wesker dizzy. "We're spinning you around and around and then you can pin the tail on the pony!" She gently guided Gilda towards the wall. "Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail."

"Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail," she parroted mockingly. "Yeah right, this is another prank, isn't it? I'm going this way!"

With that bold, but utterly moronic, declaration, she strode off... in the opposite direction of her goal.

"Wait! The poster's this way."

Unfortunately for Gilda and very fortunately for Wesker's desire to see the griffon brought down several pegs, Pinkie's warning came too late. She stepped on a puddle of pink icing and slid impressively for a few metres before crashing into the door of Sugarcube Corner. As she stood groggily to her feet, the purple tail dangled loosely from her beak, looking uncannily like a purple-dyed moustache. "Uh Gilda, you pinned the tail on the wrong end."

Wesker could swear the phrase 'the straw that broke the camel's back' was designed for this very moment.

Gilda let out an enraged roar, flinging the tail into the recesses of the room, and shaking with fury as she hovered in the air. "This is your idea of a good time?! I've never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life!"

Wesker smirked triumphantly as the diatribe continued.

Good work, Pinkie Pie...

"And Pinkie Pie! You! You are Queen Lame-O, with your weak little party pranks! Did you really think you could make me lose my cool?! Well Dash and I have ten times as much cool as the rest of you put together!" Wesker was pleasantly surprised to see the pegasus in question glare angrily at her griffon friend as she went on. "Come on, Dash, we're bailing on this pathetic scene!"

The pegasus remained perfectly still, frowning disapprovingly at Gilda, who carried on with renewed fury, "Come on Rainbow Dash, I said we're leaving!"

Rainbow took a deep breath, "You know Gilda, I was the one who set up all those 'weak pranks' at this party."

The griffon's anger dissipated momentarily as she attempted to adjust to this revelation, something she had in common with Wesker. "What?!" both said in practiced unison.

Pinkie's noise of astonishment was followed by an indignant Rainbow continuing, "So I guess I'm 'Queen Lame-O'."

Rainbow's explanation that the pranks weren't actually intended to all be for Gilda appeared to be lost on the flustered hybrid. "No way! It was Pinkie Pie; she set up this party to trip me up! To make a fool of me!"

Pinkie reeled from the accusation, "Me? I threw this party to improve your attitude! I thought a good party might turn that frown upside down!"

Huh... Didn't see this coming, Al.

Rainbow carried on from where Pinkie left off, pacing accusingly towards Gilda, "And you sure didn't need help making a fool of yourself. You know, this is not how I thought my old friends would treat my new friends. If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should find some new 'cool' friends someplace else."

Gilda went to respond angrily, but Wesker stepped forward and cut her off with a raised hoof, playing the mediator for once. "Just save what little dignity you have and leave. We've had to endure your odious presence for far longer than is pleasant."
What happened next was almost too quick for the naked eye to process.

Roaring wildly, the livid griffon lunged blindly towards Wesker with her claws outstretched. Her quarry, entirely upon reflex, lifted himself onto his hind legs and twisted elegantly to the side.

The powerful kick launched to the side of Gilda's skullwasn't hindered in the least by the humanoid martial stance not matching Wesker's now equine body shape. The hind hoof connected with a 'crack' that echoed throughout the bakery.
The stunned ponies assembled around the perfectly unconscious griffon, sharing the shocked glances directed at her with the stallion's visage.

He sought desperately for a distraction and decided he needed to create it himself. "Would anypony like some cake?"

Albert Wesker and the Awkwardness

Author's Note: To the Americans here Hoofball is soccer. At least it is in this story. :D Enjoy the chapter, I love you all. Beta’d by the fantastically patient REV6Pilot. (A.K.A. Jack Kellar)

Albert Wesker liked to be in control, simple as that. Whether over his rivals, his emotions or the various situations he found himself in, control was something he strived for.

It was rapidly becoming apparent that this time, as a few ponies at the party dragged the prone griffon to the hospital, leaving Wesker facing the stupefied gazes of the entirety of the room, he was most certainly not in control of the circumstances.

The only exceptions to the shock enveloping what was formerly a party were Pinkie Pie, who was wearing an expression that suggested she had known what was going to happen all along, and Rainbow Dash, who was torn somewhere between intense suspicion with regards to the stallion's fighting skills and anger that he had just knocked her oldest friend unconscious.

Regardless of it all, he was more concerned that his cake gambit – predictably – failed, and he was forced to address the issue at hand. "I know that you may think the force I used was unnecessary, but it must be stated that I was acting on reflex. She attacked me."

Several of the assembled ponies nodded vaguely in half-rational agreement, lessening Wesker's fears ever so slightly. Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes and swooped down in front of the blond, a reaction which he expected. "That's the problem, Al! You knocked out a griffon in one hit! Do you know how tough griffons are?"

The former scientist momentarily forgot himself and responded with an arrogant smirk, "Not tough enough, it would seem."

He heard Twilight sigh, interjecting before the pegasus could tear him apart. "Rainbow Dash is right, Albert. There's been no pony that could take on a griffon with their bare hooves, let alone the time you needed. Ponies only won the Griffon War five hundred years ago due to numerical superiority."

Wesker shrugged nonchalantly. "Perhaps you are overestimating Gilda's capabilities."

Twilight hummed thoughtfully. "Well, from what I've read, Gilda seems to be slightly smaller than the average griffon, so perhaps that played a part in your..." she struggled for the correct phrase. "… victory."

Throwing a glare in the lavender unicorn's direction, Rainbow Dash whipped round to face the blond stallion once more. "Gilda was the wrestling champ at flight school! There's no way an egghead could have knocked her out that easily!"

Wesker's voice lowered by a few degrees as he replied, "You seem awfully eager to defend someone who was insulting your companions some minutes ago."

The slump of the cyan pegasus' ears indicated her discomfort. "I know, Al. I'm talking purely physical here. I think me and her are done after how she treated my friends here in Ponyville." She looked sad and wistful as she slowly floated downwards and pawed at the ground once she'd reached the end of her descent. "I'm not even sure I want to visit her in the hospital."

She recovered almost instantaneously from her remarkably brief slump, indignation and suspicion flaring up again, "But this doesn't make sense! I would have believed it if you'd just gotten outta the way, but how could you move fast enough to knock her out too?"

He grappled for a reasonable explanation, but was spared having to provide one by Applejack interceding. "Arguin' here in front of all these nice ponyfolk ain't helpin' matters. Whoever wants to chat to Al 'bout this here fight, go to Twilight's place and talk 'bout it private-like. The rest of us owe it to Pinkie to honour this party she's thrown!"

Twilight, Rainbow and Wesker nodded in agreement, and the three departed Sugarcube Corner after thanking Pinkie Pie and responding positively when the hyperactive earth pony told them she would save them some cake. Twilight herself apologised for not taking Pinkie's concerns about Gilda more seriously, causing Rainbow to flinch guiltily on behalf of her friend. In the cool evening air, the two mares regarded the stone-faced stallion with their own brands of suspicion – Twilight's was indicative of nothing more than open, honest, scientific curiosity at a pony besting a physiologically superior rival, while Rainbow's, on the other hoof, seemed to reveal that the athlete believed Wesker was hiding a big secret, which he technically was but would definitely not reveal to the irritating pegasus.

"So" Wesker began coolly, "your place then, Miss Sparkle?"

He smirked at her sheepish grin and the blush she tried to subtly fan away. Rainbow was much less willing to smile, "Yeah, maybe we'll get some answers there."

I wouldn't bet on it, Dashy.

They walked in relative silence, but Wesker could feel the tension that was building. They had finally twigged that something wasn't right about the secret human before them. In all fairness, Rainbow Dash had come to that conclusion much earlier than he had expected anyone to do so and Twilight was intelligent enough to realise when components were amiss. He could only hope that amnesia was a good enough way of deflecting questions he didn't have any desire to answer.

I wouldn't bet on it, Al.

Shut. Up. Joy.

Haha, you're talking to the voices in your head.

For the love of...

A distraction was sorely needed, and he decided to provide it himself. "I'm not entirely sure what the pair of you expects to 'discover'; to be truthful, I am at a loss as to what just happened myself."

Twilight Sparkle grazed a hoof across her temple. "Interesting... Muscle memory perhaps? Maybe you were a royal guard for Celestia or a martial arts expert?"

"Or maybe he's hiding something..."

"Rainbow!" Twilight glared at the pegasus until the cyan mare looked somewhat apologetic for her mutterings before turning back towards the male. "For now, I just want to see the limits of your abilities."

The faintest hint of unease carved an icy trail along Wesker's spine. "How exactly will you do that, Miss Sparkle?"

Silence met his question and his anxiety increased tenfold, the distraction of arriving at Twilight's home serving only to divert his attention for the briefest of moments. He began to concoct imaginary scenarios within his mind about how his body's improved attributes would be tested. None seemed particularly appealing. His dark thoughts certainly weren't alleviated when the three of them descended into the purple unicorn's poorly-lit basement.

Huh, I suppose they could all be part of a sadomasochistic, cannibal cult, Al...

Not helping. At all.

Twilight reached out with her magic and flicked the light switch, presenting Wesker with a bizarre contraption which looked suspiciously like...

"Well, Miss Sparkle, I didn't take you for that kind of mare. I assume the whips are hidden in the corner?"

An explosion of laughter from Rainbow Dash drowned out any stuttered explanations the furiously blushing unicorn could provide.

After a good while, the chuckles of the heartily-amused pegasus subsided, and as she silently wiped tears away from her eyes, Twilight was able to explain. "I know it looks strange, but it's actually a machine designed to measure the force a pony can exert, either through pulling," she indicated towards the harness which had led Wesker to his half-joking conclusion, "or physical contact," she finished, flicking a hoof in the direction of the foam covered pads adorning the side of the mechanical colossus.

The majority of the space within the basement was filled with this... thing. Wesker was compelled to ask one single question. "Why?"

Twilight's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, Albert?"

A look of disbelief crossed his features and it felt, for a moment, as though he was not addressing either of the mares in the room. "Why on earth would you have a contraption for measuring someone's strength? What other circumstances could conspire for you to actually require it?"

Rainbow swooped elegantly in front of the former scientist, eyes still watering from the hilarity he had provided, her suspicious mood clearly elevated no end. "I can help you there, Al. Despite my overall brilliance, we get our flanks whipped every year by the Canterlot Hoofball team."

She placed a hoof on lavender mare's shoulder. "So I asked Twilight to use her egghead-ness to help us out."

Rolling her eyes at the use of the neologism, Twilight continued where her friend left off. "So I thought it would be a good idea to take stock of everyone on the team's athletic potential and see which training methods improve them the most." She paused proudly for dramatic effect. "I made this wonderful machine myself... with a little help from Spike."

Wesker blinked owlishly. "That is... surprisingly logical. I was not expecting that."

Twilight smiled knowingly, "Why not? Because all citizens of Ponyville are crazy?"

"And," Rainbow butted in, "keep kinky harnesses in their basements in case mysterious stallions come to visit?"

Wesker snickered as, once more, Twilight valiantly attempted to defend the appearance of her invention, "It had to have something to measure the force a pony could pull! A harness is a pre-designed fit!"

Rainbow yawned loudly as the scientific unicorn carried on, annoyance creeping into her purple features.

"Sure, the machine itself looks a little more archaic than it needs to, but I think I'm allowed a little artistic license. Designing it to look like a standard piece of gym equipment wouldn't have been the same!"

"Indeed, Miss Sparkle," Wesker said as he patted her shoulder reassuringly, while Rainbow made 'crazy' motions behind the other mare's head. "So... how exactly is this equipment going to tell you anything about me?"

Partially regaining her senses, Twilight's eyes lit with scientific fervour as she hopped over towards the harness. "Simple. We'll get Rainbow to pull the harness and hit a couple of targets, and after we have the results for her, you'll do the same. Since she's pretty athletic..."

A noise of indignation issued forth from the pony with the multi-coloured mane.

"I mean, since she's very, very athletic, her results should be about the same as yours." She hummed thoughtfully, "Of course, you are an earth pony and she's a pegasus, so discrepancies are to be expected, but I know roughly what the average earth pony can do. I've actually been thinking that I can use this machine after the hoofball match to see how the different types of ponies measure up to each other physically."

Wesker used the brief pause in this insane situation to take stock of both Twilight and Rainbow Dash. If he had to guess, he would say that ponies in general were between four and five feet, judging mainly by his own current stature. The two mares before him fit this theory neatly, but a single enquiry from Twilight made him realise his own cluelessness. "How much do you weigh, Albert?"

"I..." Well, he used to weigh 198 pounds, but that when he was a human male over six feet tall. He had absolutely no idea. "... I don't know, Miss Sparkle."

"Ah, no problem, Albert, we'll leave Rainbow to hook herself up and get you weighed. She's already told me her weight, so we'll be judging her strength compared to that, same as you."

As he shuffled around the cumbersome machine and onto the set of convenient scales stuffed neatly into the corner, he made eye contact with Twilight over the rims of his shades. "What exactly are these tests supposed to prove, dear heart?"

"Well..." Once more, her eyes glossed over faintly and Wesker braced himself for another lecture. "Having seen you in action against Gilda, I wonder whether your muscle structure and athletic ability is indicative of a new species of pony."

Wesker blanched. "What?"

"Think about it, Albert. Perhaps your memories were wiped for a reason; you could be the result of meticulous bio-engineering. I had my suspicions when you saved that cake, but besting a griffon in hoof-to-claw combat planted the idea firmly in my mind."

Wesker's mind struggled to process the concept. "What?"

Twilight arched an eyebrow at the stallion, ignoring the figure showing on the electronic scales under her nose. "Do you have any idea how quickly you moved to catch that cake?"

Wesker shook his head.

"Everyone else was watching the cake, but I was watching you. I've never seen anypony move that fast in my life, not even Rainbow. You being... different is the only explanation that makes sense."

Damn it. This was going from bad to worse, and to top it off, the situation was not under his control and definitely not going to resolve itself any time soon. He chanced a glance downwards at the recording of his weight.

Huh, 198 pounds. What are the chances, Al?

Albert Wesker and the Tests

Author's Note: Yes, 'tests' and not 'testes', that'd be a whole other story... Thanks for your feedback guys, as always it is greatly appreciated. Enjoy. Apologies for any bad science in this chapter. Expertly beta’d by Jack Kellar.

It wasn't even as though Wesker was completely deadened to the surreal mess his existence had become – he was very much still aware of how utterly nonsensical the current situation was.

However, he had decided it was infinitely easier to just accept that he was watching a light-blue flying horse being strapped into a harness attached to a machine that looked like its primary use was of a sadomasochistic nature. His scientific mind still screamed defiance at him every time he steadfastly refused to overanalyse the more bizarre aspects of his life in Equestria, but he got the impression that he was saving himself a few major headaches by doing so. He had enough problems without actively adding to them.

Therefore, it was with blank indifference that the blond stallion watched Rainbow Dash as she was... harnessed, before Twilight turned to him and began to explain some of the specifics of what was about to occur. "I've set the harness to offer an identical resistance to Rainbow's weight, which is much lighter than yours because..."

Wesker had his own theory and decided to interrupt in order to venture it. "Avian skeletal structure?"

The lavender unicorn beamed. "Exactly, Albert! Pegasi have hollow bones and sinewy muscles, unlike the much denser skeletal and muscle structures of earth ponies. We're noting how much force she exerts when pulling against her exact weight." She turned back towards the fidgeting pegasus. "You ready to go, Rainbow?"

The cyan mare nodded cockily and braced herself.

Twilight yelled, "Go!", and in an instant, the athletic mare began straining with all her might against the still suspicious looking harness. Meanwhile, the unicorn read a dial situated on the other side of her contraption, muttering excitedly to herself and taking copious amounts of notes with a notepad and quill, both of which had seemingly materialised out of nowhere.

A sole bead of sweat began to lazily snake its way down Rainbow's face, betraying the incredible level of effort that the mare was putting into this exercise. A thought occurred to Wesker at that very moment, one which made him realise just how much he allowed his pride to influence his decisions.

He wanted to beat her at this contest.

Even if it meant being locked in a sterile white room and examined for the rest of his days, he was going to better Rainbow Dash in these feats of strength; even if he was chased from Ponyville by concerned civilians with pitchforks for being a monstrous, mutated freak, Wesker was going to flaunt his superiority.

Fingers crossed here that you don't break Twi's kinky sex box, Al.

The blond allowed himself a tiny smirk in muted response. He made no promises. An explanation, unerringly and eerily accurate in many ways, had already been provided by Twilight. His amnesia was a deliberately manufactured occurrence, implemented in order to disguise his existence as a biologically enhanced superpony. Simple.

Yes you are, Albert. Do you really think no complications will arise from Miss Sparkle making that assumption?

Wesker rolled his eyes. Complications always arose from everything he did and every decision he had ever made anyhow. He failed to see how this particular incident would be any different, regardless of what Twilight chose to believe.

Once more, he examined Rainbow Dash's strenuous effort as she strained forcefully against the harness. It was obvious that the irritating pegasus was indeed an impressive athlete and that her score would probably be fairly high once Twilight revealed it. That would probably make his resounding victory even more delicious.

Easy, tiger, you need to leave the machine intact.

After a great deal of straining and sweating, Twilight eventually gave the signal that Rainbow could stop pulling. She took the opportunity gratefully, sinking to the floor and panting heavily. She still looked very pleased with herself, however, but Wesker suspected that was just how Rainbow Dash looked 99.9% of the time.

Twilight examined the dial. "Wow, Rainbow! You pulled with the force of just over twice your weight! That's really impressive."

The smug smile the cyan mare directed towards the former STARS captain was not lost upon the latter, and as he slowly strode forward for his turn in the harness, dark thoughts rang inside his head. Twilight hooked him into the unusual construction and gave him a reassuring smile, misinterpreting his annoyance for apprehension. "Remember, Albert, it's for science. I'll just set the machine to your weight."

There was a great deal of creaking, groaning and screeching from the machine, which made Wesker a little uneasy, and he made sure to clear his mind and squash the morbid notions waiting to come up.

Twilight spoke once more, "All done, I've set it to... Oh wait..."

Whatever she had to say was swiftly ignored by the stallion as he began straining against the harness, pulling against the dubious horsewear was far more difficult than he had anticipated it would be – it felt as though he was actually struggling to make any real headway. He increased his efforts even further, until he felt the first few vestiges of perspiration trickle down his forehead and flank. Even then, he knew he could push himself even further, and jolted his body further forward in order to exert the absolute maximum of effort he could offer.

His vision clouded around the edges and blood pounded in his eardrums, almost muting Twilight's desperate calls for him to stop. Alas, they didn't, and he complied begrudgingly, feeling as though there was still another level he could have reached. "How did I do, Miss Sparkle?"

Silence greeted his question; the violet unicorn was staring numbly at the dial, her mouth hanging open loosely. After a long period of baffled nothingness issuing from her lips, she finally conjured up a few words, "You pulled one and a half times the weight."

Wesker snorted derisively, irritation carved sharply into his tired features. "297 pounds? That's pathetic!"

Twilight shook her head slowly and deliberately, her disbelief palpable. "I tried to stop you before you started, Albert. I accidentally set the weight to 1.980 pounds." She made eye contact through his darkened shades. "You've exerted a force of fifteen times your own body weight."

Wesker weighed up the consequences of having allowed his pride to take centre stage on this occasion, before he decided to glance in the direction of a shocked Rainbow Dash. "Oh. Is that good, Miss Sparkle?" he questioned the intellectual mare once more.

"Albert," she began flatly, "you have just pulled the equivalent of over a ton." Her magic flared and she scribbled so furiously on the notepad, Wesker wouldn't have been surprised to see smoke rising from the paper. "It's not just good, it should be impossible."

Wesker blinked a few times in the uncomfortable silence that followed and attempted to explain his away his superpony abilities via the oblivious card. "Ponies have pulled objects that weigh more than a ton before, haven't they, Miss Sparkle?"

She didn't look up from the notepad. "Yes, they have Albert; extreme bodybuilding ponies have pulled much heavier objects before…" Wesker opened his mouth to drive forward his point, but wasn't allowed the opportunity, as Twilight pressed on, "… but objects that have wheels! What you've done is exert over a ton of torque using nothing but your own body. You could probably move an item around two hundred tons if it was wheeled with that kind of strength!"

"Ah."

At this point, Twilight practically exploded. "Ah?! Don't you realise what you've just done? You've pushed past the capabilities of any pony that has ever existed! You are the strongest pony in all of Equestria, and all you can say is 'ah'?!"

"Erm..." Seeing a vein twitch above Twilight's eye, he continued, "I am very surprised, dear heart." He paused, "on the inside."

At this moment, he was able to catch a glance at Twilight's current page of notes, which consisted of a crude sketch of himself, a drawing of a shocked face and the words 'WHAT IN THE HAY' practically cut into the paper at the bottom of the page from the sheer pressure the quill had imprinted into it. "Were I you, I wouldn't submit that to a scientific journal, Miss Sparkle."

Inexplicable outrage at Wesker's disrespect for world records momentarily forgotten, Twilight's ears flattened against her head and a fiery blush spread across her cheeks. "I sort of forgot what I was doing at that moment."

She bristled at the sceptical look she received. "It was surprising, alright?!"

"Okay, Miss Sparkle, no need for anger. Shall we proceed with the tests?"

The intellectual mare let out a calming breath. "Fine. We're not done with this, but we can move onto the pads for now." She turned towards the utterly noiseless and flabbergasted Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow, you ready to hit some pads?"

The pegasus nodded mutely, casting a nervous glance at Wesker as she slowly walked towards the location of the foam-covered objects and braced herself to strike at them with her forelegs, much like Wesker had seen Applejack do in order to harvest apples.

Twilight raised her notepad and quill once more in preparation, tearing out the top page and crumpling it into a ball before tossing it into the dark recesses of the basement. "Okay, Rainbow," she said, glancing at a separate dial situated on the mechanism, "hit the pads with all of your might!"

Rainbow duly obliged, letting loose a thunderous kick into the centre of the spongy targets. Once more, the levitating quill of Twilight's went to town on her poor defenceless notepad as she checked upon her friend's score. Turning towards Wesker, she piped up, "It's the same as the last test, in a way... the force is just exerted in a different way and on a much smaller area, so I expect the results to be higher. I'll be comparing your totals with your weights."

Wesker nodded his assent and Twilight continued, "All right Rainbow, you got a total of around 3 times your body weight, which is what you'd expect from a top drawer athlete."

Rainbow smiled – unusually faintly, as Wesker noticed. "Thanks, Twi, I guess practicing for the Wonderbolts keeps me in top shape."

Twilight grinned in return and the pair both turned expectantly to face Wesker, who mirrored the stance of the pegasus and approached the pads. It had to be said that lashing out with his hind legs felt profoundly wrong to the ex-Umbrella employee, but he persevered. A single powerful hit thudded into the foam and he turned to witness the reaction of the scientifically inclined unicorn.

She looked disconcerted. "Albert, you really don't look comfortable hitting the pads like that. Why don't you try using the same style that you used against Gilda? That was entirely reflexive, so it's possible you knew it before you came to Ponyville."

Wesker sighed but gave a weary nod. He decided to reattempt what he had tried to do when he appeared in the field near Applejack's farmhouse, the Cobra Strike.

He tottered uneasily onto his hind legs, his new skeletal structure protesting all the way, until he could balance with ease. Once he felt settled enough, he put all his power into the single palm, or in his case, straight hoof strike...
And flinched as he smashed through the pad, causing the device to spark, smoke and hiss.

He rubbed his sore hoof numbly and slowly turned towards Twilight and Rainbow Dash, dreading the reaction he was about to receive. He took a small degree of solace in that he had only broken a singular pad, not the entire machine itself. Twilight once more looked absolutely stunned as she rubbed her eyes disbelievingly whilst making more furious – and probably incomprehensible – notes.

Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, merely stroked a hoof along the base of her chin repeatedly. "Say, Al, have you ever played Hoofball before?"

Albert Wesker and Hoofball, Part I

Albert Wesker and Hoofball Training, Part I

Author's Note: Thanks for reviews, favourites, follows and feedback, I love you all. P.S. Another background pony cameo! I am so darn good to you people... :P Beta’d by Jack Kellar, ever reliable fellow that he is.

Rainbow Dash noted Wesker's eagerness to escape the disaster he had just caused and nodded in his direction, indicating the stairs with a twitch of her head. The stallion used Twilight's ongoing state of catatonic confusion to creep his way out of the basement, moving backwards and never taking his eyes off of the baffled unicorn.

The pegasus and the earth pony escaped the scene, the latter shaking his head in response to the former's question about hoofball. Once they had exited the basement and eventually the library itself, Rainbow turned in bemused fashion towards the blond stallion. It appeared as though the mare wished to discuss the matter of the sport in further detail.

"I don't really wanna think about what you just did, 'coz it makes my head hurt, but I think that you might be our best chance of finally beating Canterlot at hoofball."

Wesker resisted the urge to ask whether Rainbow Dash actually had a brain at all. While he could understand a burning desire to win a competition, he found himself absolutely stunned that she could effortlessly dismiss the origins of his – now confirmedly abnormal – abilities in order to do so.

Then, a thought occurred to him. "How many years in a row have you lost to Canterlot?

She scuffed a hoof awkwardly along the ground and mumbled, "Thirteen."

Well... That made more sense. Her desire to finally defeat Canterlot was bordering on obsession; she would probably accept a dragon dropping out of the sky if it could play up front. "I see. Is the Ponyville team as greatly inferior as it seems?"
"We lost twenty to five last year."

Wesker had never been particularly 'sporty', but he was glad to discuss the topic of hoofball if it distracted his pegasus rival from his true nature. "And you assume I will be able to reverse the tide?"

"You've gotta!" She ran an aggravated hoof across her forehead. "I can't take another beating from those snooty Canterlot ponies! I scored all 5 of our goals last year; we just need one more decent player to even things up a bit more."

Wesker tilted his head to the side, pontificating. It was a waste of his time and of his capabilities, he had no vested interest in sports, and no real desire to see Rainbow Dash win anything... but a rebellious spark had ignited in his brain.

Go on, Al. Do it. Win it for Ponyville. Become a hero.

Joy had inadvertently stumbled upon something important.

Wesker decided to quiz the rambunctious mare for clarification, "Do many Ponyville citizens come to watch the match?"
"Yeah, every year," she nodded absentmindedly, "even if we get destroyed every time."

If he were to help Ponyville win this match, then any suspicions about his background would dissolve under the force of the hero worship of an entire town. Any group of ponies forced to watch their town annihilated thirteen years in a row would probably be able find a sudden blind spot when it came to genetically engineered former-villains.

Former villain, Albert?

Technically he had done nothing especially villainous during his time within Equestria.

"Very well. I am willing to play for your hoofball team, Miss Dash."

His newly acquired teammate stared blankly at him as the information was processed, and as it did, the corners of her mouth gradually spread apart. She let out a whoop of joy. "All right, Al! Come with me, the hoofball pitch is just on the edge of town. Let's go test out your skills!"

Rainbow shot off, whilst Wesker slowly ambled in the direction she had accelerated towards. Apparently his speed was dissatisfactory to the pegasus, whom reappeared, grabbed the unimpressed former Umbrella operative from above and half-carried, half-dragged him off.

One undignified journey later, Wesker was standing in front of a metal goal frame attached to a ragged net. Rainbow Dash was located between the posts, clapping her hooves together eagerly. "Come on, Al! Let's see what you've got!"

He looked with mild distaste at the muddy object in front of him. "Why is this ball so dirty?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Because it's been in the dirt, Al. Just kick it!"

"Certainly doesn't smell like dirt, it smells like sh..."

"KICK THE BALL!"

Wesker grumbled non-descript complaints under his breath but prepared to comply, arching his back and turning 180 degrees in order to buck the ball right into Rainbow Dash's stupid face. He swung his hindlegs with considerable effort behind it... and watched the ball travel directly upwards.

Wow.

The pegasus hit a hoof against her forehead in disbelief. "Geez, Al, great job. Now that ain't coming down for a while."

Huh, I didn't even think that was even possible, Al.

Wesker seconded that statement. There was literally no forward movement; the ball was going to travel into the stratosphere before landing on pretty much the exact same spot it started. It was almost impressive in its sheer impossibility.

Miss Dash didn't seem inclined to agree. "What the hay was that, Al? I thought you were a top athlete!"

He managed to resist the urge to point out that 'athlete' did not necessarily mean 'sportspony'. "I believe I am allowed a mulligan."

She frowned in confusion. "What?"

"Just shut up and wait for the ball to come back down!"

The startled cerulean mare obeyed. Moments later, she started whistling tunelessly as they waited for the ball to land.

Well... This is awkward.

No. This was getting beyond the realms of awkward and into the truly ridiculous.

He considered giving up on the entire endeavour. If ever there was a sign that he wasn't suited to the sport of hoofball, then it had just proved its point as it shot miles into the air. After several more awkward seconds, he finally spoke, "I believe I have lost your ball, Miss Rainbow."

She threw him a dirty look in return, "You don't say..."

Whatever retort Wesker had lined up died in his throat when he saw a grey pegasus with a blond mane swooping clumsily from above the clouds, clutching the ball between her hooves. She descended uneasily to the ground in front of him and dropped the inflated sphere at his feet.

The first thing the former scientist noticed about the recently arrived mare was her eyes. Admittedly, they were a rather impressive shade of luminescent gold, but more importantly they were facing in totally contradictory directions, neither of which contained him in their trajectories.

Before he could comment or express any form of confusion, the new arrival spoke to Rainbow, "I caught your ball, Rainbow Dash, it smells kinda funny."

Her voice was.. uneven, to say the least, and the ex-STARS captain got the distinct impression that the blond mare was not exactly a prodigy. Regardless, she had claimed the ball somehow and deserved his thanks. "Indeed, it appears I made an error of judgement when I struck it. My sincerest gratitude for returning it, Miss...?"

The silver pegasus turned her head towards Wesker, the only indication he had that she was facing him. Her pupils still resolutely disobeyed their master. "Huh?"

Perhaps he ought to use smaller words... "Thank you for giving the ball back. What is your name? I am Albert Wesker."
The blond mare beamed in response, "Oh, that was no problem, Albert Wesker! I'm Ditzy Doo, but everypony calls me Derpy."

I wonder why...

Wesker cast a sidelong glance at Rainbow Dash, who looked to be enjoying the contrast between himself and Miss Doo far too much for his liking. She smiled innocently in return and motioned for Wesker to kick the ball once more. He obliged... and watched as the ball sailed over the goal and smashed the window of a house.

It really was not his day.

Rainbow glared at Wesker, Wesker stared disbelievingly off into the distance where he had just broken somepony's double glazing, and Ditzy chuckled. "Don't worry, Albert Wesker, nopony lives in that house anymore." She paused. "Hey, do you break things too? Like, not on purpose? I do, all the time; I think we should be friends."

Wesker smirked. "I do seem to have a natural talent for destruction."

That's an understatement, Al.

Rainbow snickered, hiding her growing annoyance behind the humour of the event. "Sure do, Al. Try not to break anything when you go in there to get the ball back."

He sighed and trudged away towards the house, the absurdity of the situation permeating through every synapse in his brain. Technically, his reasons for even participating in the hoofball match were built on fairly unstable ground: they relied quite heavily on his performing well and on the spectator ponies actually caring enough to dismiss the fact they had a mutant in their midst.

Still, it wasn't as though he had anything better to do at the time.

He raised a hoof to knock on the wooden door before remembering that nopony was inside. The former human attempted to open the door, but the entrance was firmly locked, leading him to resort to good old fashioned brute force; a mighty kick to the hinges caused the entire door to fold like wet cardboard.

That's gonna lower the resale value, Al.

A terrified squeak issued forth from the dark recesses of the abandoned house as the door collapsed inwards. Wesker was instantly wary. "Who's there? Listen, you've nothing to fear from me."

Not technically true, but it wouldn't be particularly diplomatic to mention the scores of people he had killed.

Silence greeted his words. "I am only here to reclaim my ball." He felt somewhat childish admitting that, but carried on regardless, "I accidentally kicked it through the window."

Again he was met with impassive quiet. He took a few steps forward. "I wasn't aware anypony or anything was in here. I apologise for breaking the door, but I am not renowned for my patience."

Another squeak met Wesker's ears and he arched an eyebrow whilst progressing further into the structure. A mouse scuttled out from under a thick pile of dust, darting out in front of Wesker and hiding behind a rotting chair off to his left.
He had been speaking to a mouse. How...

Wait...

Something about the furry mammal didn't seem right; it had an ethereal, shimmering quality to it, and certainly did not look like your bog standard rodent. He dashed forward at a superhuman rate and prodded the creature with a hoof.

It disappeared.

Oh my Jesus, Al! Ghost mouse!! Run for the hills!

He ignored Joy's panic, rationalizing the incident. Judging by what he had read about magic, it appeared to be an illusion, but not a particularly convincing one. If that were the case, then there would need to be a caster of said spell...
"Come out. Now."

"Hayseeds!" Wesker heard a small voice coming from a dark corner of the abandoned home. "I could never get that spell right."

That confirmed his theory. He arched a solitary eyebrow. "Come out where I can see you."

The owner of the voice reluctantly complied, the shadows around him slowly parting as he padded forwards into the light.

It was a small unicorn colt.

Albert Wesker and the Mystery Foal

Author’s Note: Say nice things to me, Equestria Daily decided not to publish this story. Sad times. Never mind, eh? Remember that I am terrible at naming OC’s, though I will give a million internets to whoever can guess how I chose Henry’s name. :P This chapter is a bit dark/sad, perhaps more than I really intended, sorry if it’s a little heavy but it will be sunshine and rainbows soon, I Pinkie Promise. :D

So there was a child hiding in this particular abandoned house.

Getting a pretty major horror movie vibe here, Al.

It seemed as though Wesker’s entire life had been wrought from the scripts of an ardent horror writer, he had nothing to fear from a dusty brown foal. “May I enquire as to what you’re doing here?”

The small pony trembled slightly as he replied, “I’m not scared of you, Mister.”

Wesker snorted in reply, “That’s not what I asked. Why are you alone in an abandoned home?” Looking affronted that the blond hasn’t recognised his extreme bravery, the black-maned colt remained silent, Wesker pressed on wearily, “What’s your name, child?”

His eyes darted left, then right, searching for some sort of trap hidden within the innocent question, “It’s Russet. My name is Russet.”

“All right then, shall we try again? What are you doing here, Russet? This is no place for the young.” Wesker’s tone seemingly brooked no argument.

Unsurprisingly, the deliberate patronisation drew a reaction from the foal, “Hey, I can take care of myself! I’m the best at magic in my class.” Ignoring his previous shyness, Russet stepped towards Wesker, horn alight as he levitated two books from a crevice within the floorboards, “I’ve already read these from cover to cover and I can cast basic illusion levels spells already, that’s better than any other unicorn in my class!”

The pale stallion was distinctly unimpressed, “Let’s suggest for a moment that I was intent on doing you harm, how would an illusion spell assist you in that context?”

Russet stared off into the distance and Wesker could see the burgeoning and somewhat unnerving, considering his age, intelligence behind his eyes as his young mind processed the question, “I could cast a distraction spell and run when your attention was diverted or I could make it shout really loud and then cast a spell to make it sound as though lots of ponies were coming to investigate.”

This child strongly reminded Wesker of someone, it was somewhat disconcerting, “Very good.” The monotone of his voice suggested his true feelings were very different but he was in fact genuinely impressed with the speed at which the foal had run through potential solutions to a problem which he had just thrown at him. Regardless... “You still need to answer my question. Why are you here? Where are your parents?”

At the minor’s sneer, Wesker finally realised just who the youngster evoked in his mind.

Himself.

“My parents?” He gave a bitter laugh, “They’re too busy picking out furniture fittings and pretending that I don’t exist, if I didn’t come back tonight they probably wouldn’t even bother informing the police ponies.”

That sounded uncomfortably familiar to the scientist’s ears, “Have they harmed you, Russet?”

The answer that he heard once more rang true with Wesker’s own childhood and adolescence before he managed to escape into Umbrella’s employment, “Of course not! That would involve effort on their part! They’d have to interact with me to hurt me.” A pathetic look was thrown in the direction of the adult stallion, “Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing wrong.”

Resisting the urge to snort derisively, Wesker knelt down in order to make eye contact with the foal, removed his glasses and spoke in an authoritative tone, “Your only fault is assuming that the fault lies with you. Clearly, your parents are cretins and I assume the enforced isolation and the excess studying are attempts to ‘improve yourself’ to a level that your mother and father will find acceptable.” The bleary-eyed foal nodded wearily, not even attempting to hide his shock and sadness, “Do not bother to seek their approval.”

Russet blinked numbly, “But... but...”

The brown foal was swiftly interrupted, “Better yourself because you wish to achieve, better yourself in order to cast your shadow over your doubters and naysayers...”

More like ‘Neigh’-sayers, am I right Al?

Shut up Joy, I’m lecturing.

Sorry.

“But never attempt to better yourself for the purposes of impressing those who lack the faculty to appreciate you, no matter how great you shall become. It is a waste of potential and a waste of focus, not to mention a waste of time.”

Russet slowly dropped his gaze from Wesker’s icy irises to his hooves, “The other kids always call me names and push me around.” The levitated books sank to the ground, “But If I work hard and show how smart I am they’ll know they were wrong to make fun of me.”

Wesker didn’t resist the urge to snort derisively on this occasion, “The pursuit of knowledge is admirable but your reasons for pursuing it are idiotic.”

Indignation welled up in the brown pony’s features, “Hey!”

Leaning forward, the blond narrowed his eyes, “Do not make the mistake of assuming that your classmates value intelligence as much as you do. Some of them may be impressed by what you are capable of but others will merely use it as an excuse to tear you down.”

One word issued forth from the rapt foal, “Why?”

Wesker met this one word gambit with one of his own, “Jealousy.” Seeing his audience’s brow furrow in confusion, he pressed on, “Some ponies are not blessed with the ability to think their way around problems or the talent to unravel some of life’s greatest mysteries. They are inherently inferior. This inferiority manifests itself in a mindless rage, particularly in adolescent as they try to belittle all those around them for traits they wished they possessed themselves. Do not concern yourself with such non-entities.”

A small face looked up at him, tear-streaked and pathetic in its meekness, “How do you know?”

“I have experience in these matters.”

May 24th 1971

“What you reading, loser?”
The blond boy with the angular face sighed, “A book.”

It was an error of judgement; the item in question was slapped from his hands and landed heavily on the floor, “No shit, dork. What’s it about?”

Walking home had become a tiresome ritual ever since Albert had drawn the attention of the local bully, Henry Simms, during the course of Elementary School. Thankfully his parents were finally wising up, having begrudgingly realised his potential, and were sending him to a prodigious academy far away from Henry and his relentless torture.

Unfortunately, he still had to see out this particular year and somehow his tormenter had learnt about his imminent departure and was determined to inflict the maximum amount of distress he possibly could before his target moved away.
Albert was still a fair distance from his home and had no chance of outrunning Henry, therefore he had to partake in the ‘small talk’ prior to whatever unpleasant act he would be subjected to, “It’s a collection of the notebooks of Leonardo Da Vinci” The faintest trace of a mocking smirk touched the pale boy’s lips, “I’m sure you’re aware of the man.”

Henry shrugged and bent down to pick up the tome, holding it pinched between two fingers as though its exterior was tainted and could infect him. “Can’t say I have, guessin’ he didn’t have any friends either right?”

The blond pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation; he knew some physical retribution was inevitable and so decided to throw caution to the wind, “Honestly? You haven’t heard of Da Vinci? The greatest mind of the last 600 years?”

A dangerous glower appeared on the face of Wesker’s adversary, “No, I haven’t. Why? He your boyfriend or something?”

He waved a dismissive hand, “No. I’m not sure why I expected any different from you.”

Alarm bells rang as the short distance between the two was rapidly closed by the taller, stronger and older boy, “What’s that supposed to mean, Al?”

Albert would not have previously believed that a single syllable could be loaded with such venom but the abridged version of his first name dripped with it, “Nothing.”

The heavy book made contact with his face, whipping his head to the side and causing him to taste thick, acrid copper on his tongue, “Didn’t sound like nothing, asshole, sounded like you were taking the piss outta me for not being a loser bookworm.”

Albert spat out his blood onto the sidewalk, “He’s pretty famous. He cultivated his genius so brilliantly that all problems he studied he solved with ease.”

Perhaps the Vasari quotation was too much; Henry certainly agreed with another powerful blow into his midriff, causing him to double up in pain with a grunt. “Shut up, you goddamn nerd. How do you like this book now?”

Once more the tome slammed into the side of his skull, causing his ears to ring and another moan to inadvertently escape before he replied, “It’s a touch heavy for my taste.”

For someone so intelligent, Albert despaired at how moronic his current course of action was; Henry finally put paid to that with a formidable strike to his temple, causing the much smaller child to crumple to the ground, “You need to learn when to shut the hell up, Al.”

A haze was descending across Albert Wesker’s eyes and he couldn’t summon the strength to even reply, resulting in the silence being filled with a kick to the ribs which caused him to wince.

“Good boy.” Henry gloated, “I’ll even let you keep the book.”

Present Day

Simms had certainly kept his word; the bastard had dropped the book from a fair height onto Wesker’s head, causing the latter a great deal of pain as his skull impacted with the concrete after the already unpleasant feeling of the book making contact.

Russet had noted the faraway look in Wesker’s eyes and remained silent, only speaking up once clarity had returned, “Was it bad?”

The adult stallion only nodded, mildly annoyed at his loss of focus.

“How did you stop it?”

I know this one, Albert. You killed him.

Wesker slowly raised his glasses and returned them to their rightful place, “Determination and perseverance.”

You found out your parents weren’t going to send you to the Academy after all, you concluded that the strife you would undergo over the next several years would be detrimental to your education. You were twelve years old and you killed a fifteen year old boy.

“But where did you get your determination from?”

Wesker smiled thinly, “The same place you will, Russet.” He lightly tapped a hoof against the brown foal’s head, “Your mind. You are far more intelligent than your peers; I can tell that without seeing them.”

Russet grinned a watery grin, “Thanks mister! What’s your name?”

If only he knew the real Albert Wesker, he would not be so quick to befriend you. You are the boy who planned a systematic murder... The case was still unsolved when you faked your own death.

The blond’s smirk remained intact, “I am Albert Wesker, and it is a pleasure to meet you.”

A certain degree of confidence appeared in the eyes of the foal as he tried to mirror the expression, “Likewise.”

“Jeez, what have you been doing in there Al?!”

The sharp voice of Rainbow Dash cut through the air, causing both occupants of the abandoned house to jump reflexively, “There’s someone in here, Miss Rainbow, and I was having a rather delightful conversation.”

“Oh, for real? Who is it? Derpy told me that she sometimes sees a kid in there but when she looks closer, he’s gone. Have you found a ghost pony?”

Her voice was getting louder and louder and more excited as she came closer to the vacant doorway; eventually she popped into view, hovering a few feet above the ground and looking disappointed at the corperal nature of his acquaintance,“You were meant to be getting the ball but I guess it’s okay if you found a kid.” She turned nonchalantly towards Russet, “’Sup?”

She spotted the ball on the floor above and instantly swooped to claim it, “Haha, gotcha!” She flew back down and gestured towards the empty doorway, holding the ball aloft once more, “Come on, Al, that trophy’s waiting for us!”

Wesker sighed wearily, “Of course, Miss Dash.” He nodded in the direction of the surprised child, who nodded in return, before trudging back towards the hoofball court.

He found it very difficult to motivate himself for it.

Albert Wesker and Hoofball, Part II

Alber

t Wesker and Hoofball, Part II

Author's Note: Why yes, I am still alive. Apologies for the massive delay, I have been freaking out about third year and really couldn't justify skipping work to write this story. However, despite the 2 assignments and 2 exams I have coming up, I have been feeling guilty about neglecting you lovely people and so I present to you a shining, glimmering (short) new chapter, incandescent in its glory and splendour! Seriously though, thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy it. :D Expertly beta’d by REV6Pilot.

Wesker was hardly skipping with glee as he followed Rainbow Dash back to the hoofball pitch. Meeting the small foal known as Russet had brought back several unpleasant memories for the former human, and reflecting on his past woes and sins was not something that he made a habit of, for good reason: his constant goal was to drive forward relentlessly and leave his regrets and ill recollections far, far behind him, and reminiscing always threw him off the delicate mindset such an objective required.

That's kind of what happens when you talk to more than one person a day, Al. You remember stuff and feel things.

Fair enough: after he faked his death, he was lucky if, for weeks on end, he spoke in person to anyone other than his guard. Busying himself with accumulating viral samples and establishing a concrete base of power took precedence over worrying about who he had killed and what he had missed out on.

Did drive you a smidge insane, though…

Only a tiny amount.

"Okay, Al, get your head back in the game! I know you can do this!"

Wesker let out an exasperated sigh and trudged back towards his mark, while Rainbow Dash stood guard in front of the goalposts. "I live in hope, Miss Dash."

The former scientist took two steps back and let out a protracted breath, looking disdainfully at the ball that had been placed in front of him.

"Woohoo! Go Albert Wesker!"

Wondering briefly where Derpy had managed to obtain a novelty oversized foam finger from, the stallion bucked the inflated sphere with a great deal of force and watched as it smashed into the metal framework of the post, rebounding past him and sailing across the pitch. It came neatly to a rest into the corner of the goal on the opposite side of the field.

"Wow… Just, wow."

Frankly, Wesker was surprised that Rainbow had even managed to blurt out those three words. Her jaw had dropped in perplexed horror and her right eyelid was twitching dangerously, but he was never one to take the conciliatory approach. "Do I get extra points for that?"

A glare from the cerulean pegasus confirmed that what he had just accomplished was not encouraged in the sport of hoofball. "More's the pity."

Rainbow ran a frustrated hoof across her face. "Okay. Maybe you're trying to kick the ball too hard, so just focus on accuracy next time, okay? Make sure the ball goes on target. Now go get the ball."

The stallion complied, trudging across the pitch to retrieve the rebellious object. Whilst he resented being given orders by a simpleton, he could understand her frustrations. Here was an opportunity to reverse over a decade of humiliation and it turned out her potential star was so bad at hoofball that having him on the team would probably increase her woes.

Eventually, the wantaway sphere was rounded up and placed carefully and deliberately in front of the goal.

Wesker prepared himself for another shot. "Remember, Al: accuracy. Don't worry about how hard you're kicking it; focus on getting in between the posts and we'll go from there."

The stallion ignored the patronising tone of Rainbow Dash and the attempt by Derpy to start a one-mare Mexican wave, but took the words into account. A few careful steps back were taken and a slow breath escaped his lips as he prepared to finally show what he was made of.

Wesker went to strike the inflated sphere cautiously, but made a grave miscalculation. His standing leg landed messily in a pile of wet mud, causing him to slip in a very dramatic style, just as the other front hoof made contact with the ball. The result was the ex-researcher rising vertically with no control whatsoever over his limbs and the ball travelling a few feet to his left. Rainbow's frustrated cry of anguish was relegated in importance as Wesker prepared himself for the inevitable call of gravity.

THUMP!

Ouch.

Wesker remained lying down in the dirt, partly because he was totally and utterly fed up with having to partake in this ridiculous exercise, and partly because he didn't want to see the picture of apocalyptic fury that awaited him should he raise his head.

"Are you okay, Albert Wesker?" The uneven voice of Ditzy Doo greeted him.

He decided to do the polite thing and reply, "I just don't know what went wrong."

Derpy giggled, "I do! You fell over. I fall over all the time."

The weary blond slowly raised his head from the prone position he found himself in on the ground, and fixed the grey pegasus with a tired look, "Ah. I see, Miss Doo. I'll be sure to avoid doing that again in the future."

Accepting the offer of a hoof up from the dim but eminently fascinating pegasus, Wesker risked a glance in Rainbow Dash's direction. The multi-coloured pegasus was leaning her face against a goalpost, with her front hooves shadowing the visage of her head as she scrunched her eyes up and pretended desperately that she wasn't there.

"Miss Dash?"

She didn't shift from her defeated position. "What?"

"I'm no expert on this matter, but I am fairly sure that I am not the solution to your sporting woes."

Rainbow let out a long, world-weary sigh. "One more try. Maybe you'll suddenly become the best hoofball player in Equestrian history…"

Hopeful much?

Indeed, it was a long shot, but at least she was still hoping.

Wesker set the ball down for a final time and licked his lips nervously as Rainbow attempted to scrounge up what little determination she had left. This was his moment. He slowly and confidently strode towards the ball and planted his hoof perfectly on the underside of the ball, focusing on accuracy over power… and watched as the ball slowly, almost mockingly, trickled towards the middle of the goal and bumped gently in the hooves of the waiting, flabbergasted Rainbow Dash.
"Really?" The cerulean mare wasn't talking to Wesker now, she was asking the universe at large. "Are you serious? This is my chance to beat Canterlot?"

Letting out an infuriated shriek, she smashed the ball with all her might, unwittingly sending it at the speed of a rocket-propelled grenade straight back towards the equally irritated and wholly unprepared stallion.

An unprepared stallion whom effortlessly snatched the ball out of the air.

Blinking in pure surprise, Wesker slowly set his unresisting hooves apart and allowed the ball to drop from them, meeting the gaze of the equally astonished Rainbow Dash as he did so. Words failed the athlete; she merely pointed towards him with a hoof before pointing towards the goal. Wesker understood the mute gesture and took up position between the posts.
Rainbow Dash's first strike was powerful, but caught with ease by the former human. The second was met in similar fashion, and a small smile began to form on both ponies' faces. And Derpy's as well, though she didn't really understand what was going on. She just liked smiling.

The next few hours of hoofball, now with both ponies fully concentrated and Rainbow managing to score only a handful of goals against an inspired Wesker, who was seemingly everywhere at once, were conducted in near total silence. Finally, a beaming Rainbow shouted, "This is so awesome! Alright, one last shot and we'll call it a day."

Frankly, Wesker was amazed that the competitive instincts within the athletic mare hadn't been stoked by his goalkeeping skills. He was genuinely happy that he could actually contribute to the team in their battle against Canterlot.

A rocket of a shot greeted the contented stallion, dispelling any illusion of Rainbow being happy at the manner in which Wesker had kept her shots at bay. Still, he had saved the best until last…

Flexing his legs, Wesker sprung off his hooves into a full length dive, getting just enough contact onto the ball with a flailing hoof to push it onto the frame of the goal. "Wow, Al! Canterlot doesn't stand a chance of getting past you!"

Wesker smirked and picked up his glasses up off the ground after they had flown off during his acrobatics. "I suppose you always knew that I would have some skill at hoofball, and your breakdown was part of a carefully crafted plan to reveal it?"

Rainbow grinned sheepishly and rubbed an awkward hoof along the nape of her neck. "Kinda?"

Derpy appeared over Wesker's shoulder. "It was fun watching you guys play, but it's getting late so I'm going home. Bye bye, and it was nice to meet you, Albert Wesker!"

Both Rainbow and Wesker wished the scatter-brained pony farewell and looked around at the darkness that had fallen around Ponyville. The pair shared a glance that revealed they were both thinking the same thing; it was the mare who voiced it first. "Wow, it's pretty late, huh? We must've been here for a while…"

The male of the duo pushed his shades back to the bridge of his nose. "Indeed. At least we both know that Ponyville has a chance this year, defense-wise."

"You said it, Al!" Rainbow chuckled and wiped a hoof along her perspiring forehead. "I've gotta go back off to Cloudsdale. I'll see you tomorrow."

Wesker raised a hoof in valediction as the rambunctious mare soared into the air and left him alone… in pitch darkness, on the other side of town from where he was living. Wesker sighed and started walking. It was going to be a long journey home.

Albert Wesker and the Long Walk Home

Author's Note: Just finished reading 'Background Pony'. Jesus, the feels. More feels than you can possibly imagine; I'm writing this chapter solely for the purpose of bringing joy and levity into the world after the emotional shitstorm I just went through. Enjoy you lovely people, feel free to say nice things to me, I will say nice things in return and the world will be a better place for it. Little bit hectic this chapter… Beta'd by Jack Kellar

Fantastic. He was lost on the outskirts of Ponyville, standing pointlessly in the pitch-black…

And cursing Rainbow Dash, Al.

Yes, and cursing Rainbow Dash. That was the most important aspect of his current situation.

Wesker made a mental note to wound Miss Dash the next time he saw her. Ponies apparently frowned upon murder, but he was sure that the populace in general would allow him one free strike upon the cerulean pegasus. And if not… then he was willing to accept the retribution of the law in return for his well-earned moment of revenge.

For now, however, it looked as though he would have to venture forth and bravely find his way back to Applejack's abode, and by that he meant he would have to pick a random direction and walk blindly until he walked into something he recognised. As he had been too busy glaring at Rainbow Dash whilst she dragged him along to note what direction they were travelling in and what landmarks they had passed, his photographic memory was of no use in this scenario.

To shorten a long story, he was very much lost and certainly not willing to spend the night within the abandoned house behind the goalposts.

He set off, walking unsteadily past the empty, rickety building, removing his sunglasses and placing them atop of his head as he did so. It certainly wouldn't be useful to wear shades in the pitch black.

Indeed. Did losing to Redfield and Alomar at last teach you that, Albert?

It still rankled with Wesker that the pair had managed to outfox him simply by turning floodlights off… It just seemed so colossally stupid. In fact, a large proportion of the last two or three years seemed rather stupid, too, when he really thought about them.

The blond let out an irritated snort at himself; he had more important matters to attend to, like finding his way back to his sofa/bed before the sun came. Looking around confusedly at the pitch black around him, he picked a direction and continued walking. This was hardly his ideal choice of activity; he preferred walks where he was capable of viewing the scenery, and preferably his own limbs in front of his face.

Huffing angrily, Wesker ran a frustrated hoof through his mane and halted entirely. This was unbearable!

Hey, relax, Al. Cool under pressure, calm and collected. Et cetera et cetera.

Of course. He was in control of his emotions and he wasn't going to allow a little impromptu night time stroll to wreak havoc upon that. Focusing on the positives was a good start, and he began to slowly walk forwards as he contemplated them.

Firstly, Ponyville wasn't an enormous town, so he was in no danger of being more than three miles away from his intended destination. Secondly, he had walked around most of the town already, so the chance of reaching a location that was entirely unfamiliar to him was small at worst. Thirdly, his eidetic memory meant that he would know precisely where he was once he located a familiar landmark. Fourthly…

You're about to walk into a tree, Albert.

Yes, and fourthly, he was about to…

Wait, what?

WHAM!

Wesker recoiled from the impact his skull made with the bark of the tree that had decided to make his day that tiny little bit worse. Landing flat on his rear, he rubbed his head with shaking hooves, somehow resisting the urge to swear as loud as he possibly could as he did so. Rainbow Dash was going to suffer for this indignity, he was damn sure of that.

Go back to the positives Al. Leave the wrathful Wesker for later.

Fine. At least he knew he was on the edge of the Everfree Forest somewhere. Sweet Apple Acres was situated in close enough proximity to the forest that he would eventually find it if he followed it round.

Wesker slowly rose to his hooves and ambled forwards, resuming his line of thought: fourthly, it was a fine clear night, a little nippy, perhaps, but nowhere near as bad as it could have been.

As though summoned by his relentless attempts at optimism, a breeze began to rustle the air.

That's fine; I like a cool breeze on the skin. Makes you feel invigorated and alive.

The gentle air flow gradually increased in intensity until it was near gale intensity.

No problem… If I walk in the direction of the gale, then I'll arrive back at Applejack's twice as quickly.

Then the rain came. God, did the rain come…

Huh, who'd have thought that rain could actually go sideways? That's interesting, right, Al?

Wesker would have agreed, normally, but trying not to drown whilst standing up was his current priority. As the stinging droplets of water collided with his eyes and thunder overhead boomed into his ears, he sprinted blindly in a random direction. Any form of shelter would be welcomed by the now soaked through to the bone former S.T.A.R.S. captain.

It felt as though he ran forever, driving through sheet after sheet of vicious rain. Unfortunately, he couldn't really tell if any form of safe haven was forthcoming, as he couldn't see. Seeing was vital in knowing where the hell he was, and as he had previously mentioned he was running at full pace and HE COULDN'T SEE!!

WHAM!

Ah, of course. On his rear after running into a tree; he had missed this feeling. It certainly was improved by the seemingly never-ending flow of water entering every single one of his facial orifices it could reach.

However, something about the tree that Wesker had run into didn't seem quite right…

It's a door, Al. People and ponies use them to enter and exit their homes.

Ah, that would explain it then.

Even above the pounding of the rain and the pounding of his head as it tried to fathom why its owner was so keen on smashing it against wooden structures, Wesker could just about hear a very quiet voice emanating through the oak door. "Oh my, Angel. The weather team really needs to remember to stick to the rain schedule; they always forget a scheduled sprinkle and have to make a nasty storm like this one to make up for it. I hope no animals have been caught in it. I was so sure that I'd warned them all… but what if I didn't? I'd never forgive myself if some poor critters got washed away because of my thoughtlessness…"

Fluttershy's cottage, eh? Right now, Wesker didn't really care where he was – he sought nothing but warmth and a square yard of ground that wasn't subject to the whims of idiotic flying horses with access to clouds full of water. The whole pony-regimented weather system made so little sense to Wesker that he wanted to scream, but it was merely one more logical concession he'd made in order to stave off his inevitable breakdown.

With the sole shining beacon of safety in his mind, he banged several times on the sturdy doorframe.

"Oh my goodness! What was that?" It wasn't so much speech as it was a collection of terrified noises. "Did a tree fall and hit my door? Should I check it out now? Should I wait until morning? What if it isn't a tree, what if…"

Wesker saved the shy pegasus any further anxiety by suddenly shouting through the keyhole.

"Miss Fluttershy! It's not a tree, it's a sodden pony! Please let me in!"

Err… probably didn't save her a great deal of anxiety by doing that, Al…

A gasp met his exclamation, but not the instant unlocking of a particular door, he noticed. "Al… Albert? What are doing running around at this time? And in this weather? Oh my, let me open the door for you."

That's more like it.

Wesker couldn't help but gasp with relief as he stumbled soggily forwards and the threshold to the cozy, toasty cottage was breached by his physical embodiment. "My thanks, Miss Fluttershy… it's… rather damp outside."

He heard a quiet gasp from Fluttershy. "Your lips are blue, Albert!" The yellow mare quickly ran to her sofa and retrieved a blanket which was located atop the cream-coloured cushions and draped it around the shivering stallion. "Lie down on the couch and I'll go get some towels." She turned to her rabbit companion and spoke with more authority than Wesker had ever seen her muster, "Make sure Albert doesn't fall unconscious, Angel. We need to dry him out and warm him up, but not too fast or he'll suffer a thermal shock."

The snow white bunny gave a small salute and pushed on his left hind leg until he slowly began to walk forwards. He guided the freezing-cold pony over to the comfortable seat; eventually, the former scientist slumped onto the settee and stared blearily at his animal companion. "I suppose you're ecstatic to see me here."

Only then did Wesker notice just how slurred and tremulous his speech had become, but he shook off the shock of realising just how much trouble he was in from a medical standpoint by focusing on Angel's reaction. The rabbit tapped a foot impatiently and pointed to Wesker's eyes before opening his palms out wide to face directly in front of his own eyes and curling the digits inwards rapidly. Then, he mimed snarling and used his paws to mimic sharp teeth before pointing back towards Wesker.

Despite himself, Wesker did not snort or smirk, neither did he mock or threaten. Instead, he merely nodded. "You think I'm a monster."

The bunny nodded once more and pointed up the stairs, to where Fluttershy was presumably searching for towels, before slamming his clenched right paw into his open left one and pantomiming 'I'm watching you' once more.

Wesker tilted his head to the side slightly. "You're right, in a way. I am a monster…" The slurring of his speech increased as exhaustion rolled over him in waves. "… but not in the manner you may be thinking."

Now it was Angel's turn to cock his head to the side, which he did curiously, still examining the former scientist suspiciously.

"You're far more intelligent than I gave you credit for. I apologise for being confrontational when we met previously." A dreamlike haze had descended over Wesker. It didn't even feel as though the conversation he was having was real, but he ploughed on regardless. "Trust me when I tell you that I mean no harm to Fluttershy or her friends.

"I'm just…" He searched for a word just as he heard the clomping of hooves upon the staircase, "… Different. I imagine that you can sympathise with that?"

Angel Bunny nodded once more and gave Wesker a small, but – as far as his addled perception indicated – meaningful salute. The former turned to await the arrival of his owner at the foot of the stairs, and said pegasus arrived sporting several towels which she instantly put to use drying the stallion.

Heh, they're warm. That's nice.

It was nice indeed, and he felt the need to thank Fluttershy for her hospitality, "Thank you for your hospitality, Miss Fluttershy, your home is lovely and your towels are very warm."

The yellow mare let out a slightly strained giggle, "Only you could be so charming when you're suffering from hypothermia, Albert."

He frowned. "Hypothermia, are you su…"

He was cut off by a thermometer being thrust into his mouth by a certain snow white rabbit, who then proceeded to examine the level at which the fluid within halted. He tapped Fluttershy on the shoulder, drawing her attention to it. "Oh my! Thirty degrees… that's far lower than it should be!"

Wesker shifted slightly with his eyes shut in his cocoon of warm towels as Angel was sent to retrieve a hot water bottle. "Well, you know what they say, Miss Fluttershy: low core body temperature, warm heart."

This time, the shy, pink-maned pony let out an anxious squeak. "How can you be making jokes at a time like this, Albert?"

One blue eye blearily cracked open. "Dear heart… I put total faith in your expert care." A shrug followed those words. "And should I die..." he muttered as he settled down once more in his makeshift bed after a shivering fit, "… perhaps I'll end up in a world where things make more sense."

He couldn't see it, but a sudden fierceness sprouted on Fluttershy's features. "No one is dying on my watch!" Her head snapped to the left. "Angel, hot water bottle, stat!"

Said item was practically teleported into the pegasus' waiting hooves, being placed snugly against Wesker's side. The caring mare then lit the fireplace and slowly dragged a piece of pre-chopped wood into its flickering depths. "There, now you should be toasty warm, and I'll be here to make certain of that." She sat on the sofa next to Wesker, pressed up against him with the intent of sharing her body's warmth, whilst Angel took up vigil on the other side of the comfy furniture.

Wesker weakly turned to her, still lost in the befuddlement from the cold sending his neurons haywire. "What did I do to deserve a guardian angel, Miss Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy smiled. Now that the situation was under control, her stern attitude vanished not unlike smoke in the wind. "Oh, you're my friend, Albert. Even if you weren't, I could never allow you to stay like that."

Wesker frowned in response and floundered for the correct phrasing. When the words finally came, they were in a voice as small as the one the mare he was talking to used so often. "What if I deserved it?"

"Why on earth would you even think that Albert?" Instead of reeling backwards from the voiced thought, as Wesker expected her to, Fluttershy edged closer. "You would never deserve something like this."

In his mind, the former human saw only the tiniest snippet of his worst memory. He spoke once more to try and combat the guilt, "And how do you know that, dear heart? How do you know I haven't killed and maimed and tortured and cast the weak of the world aside for my own personal gain?"

"Even if you did, Albert…" The room swam again and Wesker had to strain to catch the pegasus' tiny voice. She paused weightily and all the exhausted stallion could see was the vivid blue of her eyes. The Element of Kindness… it seemed so novel. "Even if you did, that's not who you are now. Everyone deserves a chance at redemption, even if they feel they don't need or are worthy of one."

Wesker let out a weak chuckle as the darkness began to close in around the periphery of his vision, "That was so sweet I fear you may have to add diabetes to my list of conditions."

Fluttershy responded with a relaxed titter as she shifted gently against the former S.T.A.R.S. captain's side, trying to bestow as much heat as possible into his body. "Trust me, Albert, once you've been in Ponyville long enough, you'll be just as in touch with your soft side as the rest of us."

Wesker smiled faintly as he slowly slipped into unconsciousness. The last words he remembered speaking were "Heaven forbid."

Albert Wesker and the Worst Memory

Author's Note: Procrastination ahoyyyyy! Only 6500 words to write for my assignments… and revision to be done for my two exams… and a 10,000 dissertation that I haven't even started……………. Enjoy a spot of Wesker! Another sombre chapter, that's how I roll. Beware, there is some sweary-sweary in this chapter so those of a delicate disposition imagine that there are nicer words in their place. Enjoy! The poem is by Alan Seeger, for those who are interested. Beta'd by Jack Kellar.

Black. Everything was absolutely, inescapably pitch black. Had he died in this bizarre land as well? Was this where he was meant to have been headed after the volcano before fate curtailed him and placed him within the unnatural folds of Equestria?

"No."

So much for his dramatic inner monologue… "Indeed, Miss Dark? Then why can't I see my own hand in front of my face? Shouldn't there be some sort of memory that I have to tediously relive and talk to you about?"

There was a moment's hesitation, so tangible that Wesker could sense it even in the total blackout. "I did plan to have you analyze another memory before you came to me… But another recollection was brought to my attention. One that you remembered before you opened your heart to the cowardly pony."

Wesker frowned, momentarily choosing to ignore the words pertaining to this other memory. "I did what? 'Opened my heart' to her?"

"You were semi-conscious and in the throes of delirium." The blond heard the faintest trace of amusement in the shadow being's voice. "You asserted that you perhaps deserved death for your deeds whilst you were human."

A snort escaped the former Umbrella employee. "Near-death has a way of turning the brain into a fine paste, especially near death experiences brought about by extreme stupidity." He halted suddenly as the implications of what he could have said hit him, "I didn't incriminate myself in any way, did I?"

"Not quite, but you certainly put forward the idea that you were not as you seemed. Particularly to the rabbit."

"I had an emotional one-to-one with the bunny?" Wesker sighed and slowly ran a hand across his forehead. "You're joking."

"I'm afraid not. You told him you were a monster. Which makes me wonder…?"

A scene slowly began to become illuminated around both Wesker and Dark.

"The making of an individual cannot rely solely on his triumphs. His worst moments and personal failings are just as responsible for the forging of his character."

Wesker recognised the hallway, but not the context in which he would be viewing this memory. "Outside Spencer's office?"

"You said to me when we first met face to face that you had no regrets or doubts, but when faced with the prospect of death, this one memory stood at the forefront of your mind."

The human scowled as he tried to think of what his worst possible memories could be whilst he worked at Umbrella. One stood out far beyond the others, flashing like a neon sign.

Wesker's worst fears were confirmed as he heard his own voice echo from around the corner, "Will, you worry far too much. This isn't high school; we're not being called to the principal's office."

The concerned voice of the mousy brunette came forth in reply, getting ever closer as they approached Spencer's office. "Yeah, I know. Instead of that, we're being called to the office of a megalomaniac that only calls us in when he wants someone 'taken care of'." Birkin accompanied the last three words with air quotes just as he appeared in the field of view of the current Wesker and an intrigued Dark. "I'd feel a hell of a lot safer if we just had to chat with the principal."

"You're being melodramatic, Will."

Birkin growled, "Fine, when was the last time he called us to a meeting like this on such short notice?"

Wesker hummed thoughtfully, rubbing a hand along his angular jaw, searching the comprehensive archive that was his brain and retrieving the relevant facts. "Three years ago. 1988."

The thinner man with the wispy facial hair nodded encouragingly, as though trying to motivate a toddler. "And what did he have us do?"

Wesker grimaced as he saw the point that Will was making. "Kill James Marcus."

"Exactly, Al. I'm telling you now, whatever happens in there will be a total shitstorm, and we'll be expected to clean it all up."

Both the real Wesker and his doppelgänger spoke at the same time, the former stating, "Will always had a nose for trouble," and the latter saying, "You're full of crap, Will."

On that note, both scientists stood in front of the office door with the brunette smiling nervously, "If I'm right, then you buy our coffee for the next week."

Wesker and his clone shook their heads in perfect synchrony, but only the dream version spoke this time, rapping firmly upon the wooden door. "Deal."

"Enter," a strong voice penetrated through the thick door. It was strange to think of a time when Spencer wasn't frail and decrepit, but that was relegated in importance by the real Wesker. He knew exactly what lay in wait, though his carbon copy didn't.

Caitlin Donnelly was tied to a luxurious chair, with her hands bound behind her back, as Spencer sat calmly at his desk, fingers steepled and a look of only mild curiosity on his face as he examined the scene before him. A pronounced and multi-faceted bruise had appeared on the Irish female's left cheek, and the cause of that was immediately present. Umbrella's head of security had an ugly reputation, and he was fully living down to it here. "Tell us who helped you, you treacherous fucking whore!" A vicious backhand whipped across the redhead's face and a pained yelp escaped the normally composed scientist.

In truth, Wesker himself did not actually remember the next few seconds, and viewing them in third person meant the scene was just as unfamiliar to him as it was to Dark.

He watched as, in one fluid motion, the dream Wesker removed his handgun from its holster underneath his immaculate white lab coat and fired five bullets into the skull of the violent security chief. The disconsolate thud of a body slumping onto the thick pile carpet punctuated the descent of the noise on the office into total silence.

As Caitlin attempted to recover from the interrogation she had just received, Wesker blinked numbly, as though exiting a trance, and Birkin stared at his friend much the way Wesker imagined he would had he just sprouted an extra head. Spencer, to his credit, didn't even flinch. The old bastard probably knew exactly what was going to happen twenty years in advance, Wesker thought bitterly. "Dr. Wesker… Security officers don't exactly grow on trees, you know."

The look of hope that appeared on Caitlin's face at the mention of his name was just as painful to Wesker now as it was then.

The only blonde in the room nodded faintly and shakily placed his Beretta back into its holster, all whilst casting uneasy glances in Caitlin's direction. "Duly noted, sir, but I'm sure we can afford to find a more competent and… composed person to take over his duties."

Spencer examined Wesker minutely for a tense few seconds. Eventually, he tilted his head in reluctant acceptance. "Indeed. He had been regularly stealing my parking space for the last five years, so I suppose his loss will have some benefits." He motioned to two similar looking chairs to the one which Caitlin found herself tied to. "Sit down, gentlemen."

Wesker raised a hand and silently declined the offer, pacing around the room like a caged animal. His close friend, being much less reserved about the offer, slumped into the comfy red leather, eyes wide and swiveling rapidly between Caitlin, Wesker and Spencer, as though he were trying to look at all three at once.

"I imagine you're wondering why I called you here," asked Spencer.

"Just a bit!" was Birkin's quick, nervous reply.

A tiny smile appeared on Ozwell E. Spencer's weathered, but still vaguely handsome, face. How far he was from the grave here, the present Wesker postulated. "Quite so, Dr. Birkin. I apologise for the lack of warning before my call, but, as you can certainly imagine, a situation has developed."

He pointed in towards the beaten female scientist, "The late…" a glance was thrown in the trigger-happy Wesker's direction and subsequently ignored, "Mr. Fernandez was attempting to conduct a one-to-one investigation with Dr. Donnelly."

Wesker snorted. "A 'one-to-one investigation'? With all due respect, sir, he was torturing her. What has she supposedly done?"

Spencer looked solemn as he leant back in his opulent seat. "I'm afraid there's no 'supposedly' about it, Dr. Wesker. We found her attempting to feed information about the Tyrant project to the US government."

The reactions of the two scientists could not have been more contrasting: Wesker merely halted his pacing, freezing in place and slowly turning to face his boss with a disbelieving sneer curling his lips. Birkin, on the other hand, practically exploded, "WHAT?!" He flew out of his seat, red-faced and fingers clenched so hard that Wesker was amazed his nails hadn't drawn blood, "The T-Virus is the result of thirty, thirty years of draft! The dossiers and reports are enough to get Umbrella permanently shut down and all of us researchers put in prison for life!" He took a calming breath and sharply spun to face the accused female. "Tell me it isn't true, Caitlin."

The redhead coughed weakly, splattering a small amount of blood onto her lab coat, which was already speckled with several similar stains. "Sorry to disappoint you, Birkin. It's true. I couldn't take it anymore."

"Unbelievable," Will spat out disgustedly, facing away from the female and taking a deep breath.

With his eyes firmly fixed on the ground and shades being dangled anxiously from a restlessly moving hand, Wesker spoke so quietly, his words were almost indistinguishable, "I thought you understood, Miss Donnelly. Petty moral qualms have no place in the breakthroughs that we were making."

"Listen to yourself, Wesker!" Caitlin began furiously, fighting against the obvious pain she was in. "'Petty moral qualms'? We were turning kidnapped children into monsters, conducting psychological torture on them and treating them like animals!" She finally raised her head and looked beseechingly at the blond. "Even you have to realise that is wrong, Albert."

Wesker couldn't reply, stung by how the emotion in the woman's voice reminded him unerringly, too unerringly, of nights the pair had spent together debating Umbrella's course of action… and conducting other activities as well. He had seen her as a pleasant distraction from the never-ending, laborious work in the labs. And now this betrayal…

Birkin spoke instead, "Life is simply a means to achieve power, Caitlin. What use would these children have in the real world? They would get old, get fat and die. At least here, they have the ability to be responsible for one of the greatest achievements in scientific history." He raised a hand as she scoffed in disgust and horror. "I won't deny that it makes me… uneasy as well. But great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice."

Donnelly sighed, "I can always rely on you to quote Napoleon and Nietzsche in the heat of the moment, Will." She groaned as she shifted in her seat. "I'll always believe I made the right decision. The world needed to know what was happening here… and someday, it will."

Wesker glowered as he moved to stand directly in front of her, "And they'll shriek and cry and point their fingers before allowing the same thing to happen elsewhere." The blond walked round and slowly picked up the incriminating documents, moving back round to wave them in Caitlin's face. "Even if you had managed to deliver this report, the leak could have been covered up and the people essential for the survival of the Tyrant Project and Umbrella would survive and set up shop elsewhere." He leafed through them absent-mindedly, whilst averting his eyes from her. "This little exercise in martyrdom was as pointless as it was stupid."

The female didn't back down in the slightest at those words. "What's it like to have to have so little faith in humanity that you're willing to give up your own for the sake of ideas, Albert?"

Caitlin's question was deflected aside by Wesker, "I see a future in these ideas, and I see no future for humanity… at least not one worth pursuing."

Spencer, who had so far been quietly watching the entire exchange with a small degree of intrigue, finally interrupted, "You know what you have to do, Dr. Wesker."

A kernel of doubt formed behind the previously impenetrable mask worn by Albert Wesker. "Sir… We don't have to…"

"Do not allow your personal feelings to cloud your judgement, Dr. Wesker; you know the standard operating procedure for dealing with class A spies."

"I do, sir, but… she has close family ties, questions will be asked if she…" The desperation in Wesker's voice was increasing exponentially as he continued, "Listen, we can just terminate her contract and allow her to leave the company's employment. She has no chance of gaining access to confidential documents and no government or organisation will act upon nothing but the word of an unemployed scientist..."

"Albert." Spencer's voice cut through his subordinate's rambling arguments with the precision of a laser beam. "You are fully attuned with the methods of the USS. You are fully aware that we are capable of removing all suspicion surrounding Dr. Donnelly's death from the company. I, for my point, knew the whole time that you were intimate with this woman, and I tolerated it due to my firm confidence that you would not allow such a relationship to cloud your judgement.

"I now offer you the opportunity to execute this traitor to Umbrella, safe in the knowledge that you are protecting both the company's interests and your own position here." Spencer paused briefly. "I also gave you this chance because the alternative is the utilisation of Dr Donnelly as a test subject for the Tyrant Project." He drummed his fingers on the desk. "I assumed you would be opposed to this course of action, so I additionally grant you the ability to show her mercy."

After remaining frozen for a significant number of seconds, Wesker nodded slowly. Replacing his glasses, he removed his firearm and pointed it extremely unsteadily between the eyes of his lover.

Caitlin smiled sadly. "I know a catch 22 when I see one. Can I say a few words before you do what you have to?"

Wesker suddenly found that his throat was very dry and his body was shivering. He nodded. "Of course."

Coughing once more, Caitlin Donnelly began to talk, "It's a poem, and I know how much you love poetry." She chuckled weakly until it turned into a wet-sounding cough, and Wesker gave a very thin, strained almost-smile in return. "It's called 'I Have A Rendezvous With Death'."

Clearing her throat once more, she started to speak, her accent causing the words to roll softly off her tongue:

"I have a rendezvous with Death
At some disputed barricade,
When Spring comes back with rustling shade
And apple-blossoms fill the air -
I have a rendezvous with Death
When Spring brings back blue days and fair.

It may be he shall take my hand
And lead me into his dark land
And close my eyes and quench my breath -
It may be I shall pass him still.
I have a rendezvous with Death
On some scarred slope of battered hill,
When Spring comes round again this year
And the first meadow-flowers appear."

Her voice faltered for a moment as she approached the final verse, but she rallied and continued, leaving Wesker standing numbly in front of her, the pistol hanging loosely by his side.

"God knows 'twere better to be deep
Pillowed in silk and scented down,
Where love throbs out in blissful sleep,
Pulse nigh to pulse, and breath to breath,
Where hushed awakenings are dear...
But I've a rendezvous with Death
At midnight in some flaming town,
When Spring trips north again this year,
And I to my pledged word am true,
I shall not fail that rendezvous."

Wesker was left utterly bereft as he unsteadily and sloppily raised the firearm in front of him as Caitlin spoke once more, "Suppose they would have been good words to finish on, right?" She raised her head defiantly, squared her shoulders and looked Wesker directly in the eyes, "I hope you'll realise one day that you don't have to be the monster this company wants you to be."

The blond didn't react strongly to her words; instead he gently tightened his grip upon his handgun and spoke three words, "I'm sorry, Caitlin."

A single gunshot echoed several times through the office and the hallways outside.

Wesker replaced his weapon in its rightful place and departed instantly. He most certainly did not wish to spend another second within the confines of Spencer's office. Birkin rapidly hurried to his feet and follow his friend out the door. The real Wesker, who had been naught but a still and dispassionate observer the entire time, followed suit with Dark in tow.

Birkin led his friend away from the scene with an arm around his shoulder, the tall blond offering no resistance to the proximity. The last thing the spectator version of Albert Wesker or Dark heard before the whole location faded to black was the dream-Wesker speaking, "You're not getting a single one of those damn coffees."

In the void once more, Dark asked, "What effect did this have upon you?"

Wesker heaved a sigh. "I can tell you the relatively immediate aftermath."

"Please do."

"I got into my car after work and drove for hours, until I reached Chicago. I went into a bar and waited until I saw a woman who looked similar enough to Caitlin, then I seduced her and was intimate with her. Immediately afterwards, I got into my car again and drove back home. I left no way for the woman to contact me."

"So you could have had a child from this coupling?"

"Even if I did, it doesn't matter. No doubt he, or she, will never have heard of me. Even if they did, it would be nothing but the story of the monster who tried to destroy the world."

"So, is this your sole regret?"

Wesker chuckled mirthlessly. "I do not regret it. I made my choice and I own the decision just as I own every memory I possess. You heard yourself the options I was given: kill her or experiment on her." He exhaled heavily. "Besides, I have no sympathy for the action she committed. I admire her bravery in the face of oblivion, but her trying to cross Umbrella's path was a fool's errand. Few ever lived after doing so."

The wispy simile of a woman gazed contemplatively at the avatar of the one whose mind she was linked to. "I see, Albert Wesker. I won't take up any more of your time, then. Farewell."

"Goodbye for now, Miss Dark."

With that, Wesker left the recesses of his past and returned to the world of Equestria.

Albert Wesker and the Aftermath

Author's Note: So yeah... I'm still here guys and you all have my thanks for your extraordinary patience. Had a lot of stuff to contend with recently (Essays, assignments, presentations, dissertation, applications for post-grad courses, finally joining a gym, finding out that my headaches were being caused by astigmatism etc. etc. etc.) Am back in business now and should hopefully be updating this story on a fairly regular basis. For those wondering whether or not I was suffering from writer's block, I can assure you I wasn't, I just couldn't find the time to continue on with the story. Now that I have a few spare moments to myself (though not many mind you!) I will be carrying on where I left off, with Wesker on Fluttershy's sofa recovering from a slight tinge of... erm... hypothermia (No worries, right?) Spelling and grammar checked by Jasontaylorblogs and given the final once-over and beta'ing by Jack Kellar. I love them both

Cold. Then unbearably hot, then cold again.

Wesker's left eye stayed resolutely shut as he attempted to tune out his body's incessant temperature switching. A near-death experience and painful memories were bad enough, but he had never considered just how horrid the ramifications of his little dash in the rain would be.

Dash... Rainbow Dash! That useless, braying pack mule had almost condemned him to an ignoble and moronic death, one which was even more idiotic than the two he had previously experienced.

Both of which you surely were not to blame for in any way, shape or form, were you, Albert?

He had been forced to make a sprint towards cover, and he just happened to choose the wrong (or right, depending on how one viewed his current predicament; at least he was still alive, which counted for the latter adjective) direction. What was he supposed to have done?

Not sure, Al, but I'm guessing it shouldn't have involved running into every wooden structure within a mile from yourself.

He wasn't to blame for bad luck, and he certainly wasn't to blame for the entire situation. When he found the dullard pegasus responsible for his bout of illness, he was going to tear out her...

"Can't you just fetch me when he wakes up, Fluttershy? I've been here for hours…" There was a snort. "… and I know he won't want to see me again!"

He recognised that voice... It was almost too much to wish for...

"I think he'll be well enough now, Rainbow. I know he was a little... angry when he last saw you, but he was delirious. I know he'll forgive you now that he's on the mend."

The first voice scoffed derisively. "Are we talking about the same pony here? I'm pretty sure he'll just try to strangle me again."

"Again?"

He heard two simultaneous squeaks of surprise and blearily allowed Fluttershy's cottage to swim confusingly back into focus. As expected, standing before him were his saviour, Fluttershy, and his... not-so saviour, Rainbow Dash.

It was at this point that Wesker noted just how tightly tucked in he was to his blanket fort upon Fluttershy's sofa.

"Uh..." Rainbow began to speak sheepishly, stretching her forelegs in an unconvincingly casual style, "hey, Al. Nice to see you again. How are you?"

He scowled, now acutely aware of the absence of his precious eyewear and an ever increasing urge to kill. "Fantastic. I hear hypothermia does wonders for the figure. I daresay I shall soon be the belle of the ball."

There was an awkward pause, and Rainbow opened her mouth to form a no-doubt stupendously stupid reply, which Wesker was quick to halt in its tracks. "That was sarcasm. I had hypothermia, and in case you do not realize the aftermath of that, I shall tell you: I have been – and am – bad. Very bad, in fact. And had your incompetence and negligence resulted in my death, then you can be sure that I would have clawed my way out of whatever dank pit the afterlife threw me into in order to enact my revenge upon you and everything you have ever held dear in your cognizant existence."

Another awkward pause unsurprisingly followed this stark declaration, with it being Fluttershy who broke it. "Erm... Well, that's... nice, Albert. Do you remember anything from the past week? You've been very ill, which isn't really anypony's fault." She uncharacteristically cut across Wesker's attempt to refute this statement by saying, "NOT ANYPONY'S FAULT," with unnerving intensity, and the former STARS captain's acidic words died in his throat. The timid pegasus carried on, "I think you were delirious the whole time, Albert; you were acting very strangely."

The stallion frowned once more. "I've been here an entire week?" He cast a glare at Rainbow Dash, who just so happened to be looking at every minute facet of her friend's cottage aside from its furious guest. "I thought I had only been here one night, Miss Fluttershy."

Fluttershy scuffed a nervous hoof along the floor. "Your condition got worse, and when I went to see Nurse Redheart the next day, she said it was best to keep you in one place and not risk moving you all the way to the hospital." She gave a small, supposedly reassuring smile to the prone earth pony. "I said I would nurse you to health... and I think I have. You seem perfectly lucid now." She cast a nervous side glance towards Rainbow Dash. "Maybe even a little too lucid."

Wesker went to rub a frustrated hoof along his perspiring forehead but found that the blankets of his sofa/bed were tucked so tightly around him that space for movementation was so scarce, he practically could not move. He glanced up at the yellow Pegasus. "My thanks, Miss Fluttershy. May I move now?" After a short pause featuring a gaze of innocent confusion from the gentle pegasus, he continued, "Why are these covers so tight?"

"Erm..." There was another sideways glance at Rainbow Dash. "I actually brought Rainbow here a couple of days ago so she could apologise… but I think I underestimated just how much the hypothermia had affected you."

Wesker cocked his head to the side as he struggled to gain a little space within his impromptu straightjacket. "What happened?"

An awkward cough from Rainbow Dash brought the blond's attention towards her. "Well, Al, you... kinda tried to choke me to death when you saw me."

The amused smirk that appeared on the face of the male was immediately met with a glower from both present pegasi, and Fluttershy remarked sternly at her weeklong patient, "It wasn't funny, Albert! You might have done some serious damage to her!" The minute reprimand assumed a slightly less chastising tone as she relaxed her expression a smidge. "I know you weren't entirely aware of what you were doing, but I think it would be for the best if you apologised to Rainbow Dash for trying to hurt her."

Wesker's deadpan expression was truly one for the ages. "… are you serious, Miss Fluttershy?"

Summoning up all of her admittedly-scant authority, the meek mare nodded resolutely. "Yes. She only came to apologise herself."

The blond stallion almost immediately started to state a long list of reasons why choking Rainbow Dash was, at the very least, justified, and could even be considered a medal-worthy action. However, he found himself caught in an incredibly sad, pleading pair of sky-blue eyes. "If you won't do it for her, then could you at least do it for me?" the owner of the aforementioned irises whispered.

In the end, Wesker found out that he was, inexplicably, sighing and turning towards the blue bane of his Equestrian existence. "I apologise for trying to meet attempted murder with attempted murder, Miss Dash. That was wrong of me, even if I was in the throes of a perception-altering illness, and you had absolutely no excuse for your actions."

Fluttershy frowned at the blond and let out a small, but meaningful, cough. Confused, he remarked, "What?" He groaned as the pink-maned pegasus continued to glare at him, "Fine fine fine!" After a short pause, he huffed, "I apologise for any act of violence I may have committed unto you, my dear Rainbow Dash. I pray most deeply and earnestly that you can forgive me, as the knowledge that I may have unwittingly harmed you is burning me up inside."

"Flutters!" Rainbow glanced painstakingly at her friend. "He's doing that thing again where he uses big words and he doesn't mean any of them!"

Fluttershy shook her head. "We'll have to accept that, Rainbow; I think a sarcastic apology is the best we can hope for from Albert." She nudged her rambunctious friend closer to the cage of cloth imprisoning the stallion. "Your turn now."

Rainbow's ears flattened against the side of her head, a curious sight that the trapped pony did not overlook. "I, uh... I'm sorry that I left you on your own and that you caught hypothermia and I'm really sorry about those things," she said, the entire run-on sentence being spoken in one breath.

Wesker struggled in his cocoon as he attempted to bring his hoof into contact with his forehead. Eventually, he gave up on the attempt and reluctantly spoke, "I forgive you."

As she glanced, both hopefully and disbelievingly, at her antithesis, the pegasus' demeanour brightened instantly. "Really?"

"No." Wesker thrashed some more. "And if you were standing closer to me, then I would try my absolute best to headbutt your teeth in." At another demonstration of the unfathomably terrifying stare of Fluttershy, he relented, "All right! I forgive you, Miss Rainbow, and now that it's established that I am feeling better and that I am not going to attempt to snuff out your life, can you two please release me from this infernal chrysalis?!"

Fluttershy giggled, "Of course, Albert. It seems you're much better now, so I think you should be able to move around."
She slowly stepped forward and tugged forcefully at the corner of the blankets, causing them to unravel with whip-like rapidity. Finding himself free, Wesker wobbled unevenly upright, gingerly testing his hooves on the floor of the cottage. His muscles felt absolutely shredded and the sudden chill of no longer being covered felt almost arctic to his vulnerable form. "Is it possible that you could provide me with a portable blanket fort, Miss Fluttershy?" he pleaded, not entirely in a mocking manner.

Fluttershy smiled in response. "I'm afraid not, Albert," she said, moving towards the back of the sofa. "Rarity made you this scarf, though. That should be enough, right?"

It was a fine garment, in fairness, and somehow Miss Rarity had known that black was both his favourite colour and one which suited him fantastically well.

"It's a lovely gift." Wesker flung the article over his shoulder. "I shall go to Miss Rarity's boutique post haste in order to thank her." He nodded fondly in Fluttershy's direction. "I owe you my life, Miss Fluttershy, and I won't forget it…" The blond then turned from the now-blushing pink-maned pegasus toward the other occupant of the room. "… while to you, I owe a creative demise, Miss Rainbow. I won't forget that either." He strode to the door, his shaky legs somewhat undermining the figure of strength and authority he intended to project. "Good day to you both."

Stepping out into the fresh air and the sunshine, Wesker let out a deep breath and savoured the warm embrace of the sun before setting off towards Ponyville's town centre, trying to ignore just how much of his time within Equestria had been spent either unconscious or otherwise incapacitated in some way.

Unfortunately, his peaceful trip was halted before it even began by Rainbow Dash darting out of the cottage just behind him. "Wait up, Al!" The athlete halted her flight, setting down to move with her legs as soon as she was close enough to talk at a conversational volume. "I wanna walk into Ponyville with you."

Wesker cocked an eyebrow. "You don't think it may be hazardous to your health?"

"I know you were just kidding around about that," she laughed. "You wouldn't actually try and hurt me, right, Al?"

There was a pause as the biologist resumed his walk without responding and the cerulean pegasus took back to the air after him, following overhead. "Right?"

Still no response.

"R-right?"

It was probably best for the both of them that he didn't answer that particular enquiry.

Albert Wesker and the Colour Black

Author's Note: Yep. I am still alive... and believe me I am still alive. I'm doing science and I'm still alive. But seriously, got hold of a little bit of free time before Easter when I have to start properly writing my dissertation and two other essays (one of which is about the Nazi Economy, if you 're interested, which I doubt...) We all love flashbacks. Grammar and spelling checked by Jasontaylorblogs and final beta'd by Jack Kellar.

In truth, Wesker wasn't exactly about to attack Rainbow Dash, but only for the same reasons he had not to choke someone to death at an Umbrella cocktail party: appearances and a severe lack of desire to expend any effort at the time.

He was also certain that the pegasus – although the two of them were hardly on the best of terms – had not intended her rapid departure to be an elaborate assassination attempt. If she had, then clearly he had vastly underestimated her cunning.

Not sure anyone has used hypothermia as an assassination tool before, Al.

They probably had. If there was one thing Albert Wesker could give humans credit for, it was their ability to be as inventive as possible regarding ways they harmed one another.

If only they could see that turning themselves into monsters and falling into lava was the way to go about it, Albert…

"Miss Rainbow," the stallion began flatly, trying to divert his attention away from Critical, "how has your week been?"

"Erm..." To say the cerulean pegasus was reticent in responding was a severe understatement. "Good, thanks?" At the sight of her listener's mildly arched eyebrow, she stammered out, "Well, obviously not good, 'cos, you know, I was worried about you being sick and stuff…but when I said good, I meant, like, as good as you could expect somepony to be with what happened and all."

The mare let out a silent sigh of relief as the supposed amnesiac nodded once and turned away, continuing to walk. "So...how was your...?" she said reflexively, but halted at the wholly not amused frown crossing his face. "Ah, yeah. Not good. Of course." She turned her head starkly in the opposite direction he was situated from her. "My bad."

Wesker threw a hard look what he could see of the pegasus' rather reddened face, before snorting amusedly. "Relax, I'm not going to attack you any time soon."

Her eyes switched from staring resolutely to the side to facing cautiously towards him. "Really?"

He smirked condescendingly. "Of course, Miss Rainbow. That'll be when you least expect it… and I'm nothing if not patient."

She looked taken aback for a second before her eyes narrowed. "You're joking again, aren't you? It's so difficult to tell with you, Al."

Wesker said nothing initially, allowing his triumphant smirk to reign absolute in the silence. "You apologised for leaving me in the storm, and whilst I would have appreciated directions, an escort back to Miss Applejack's, or at least a warning that the contents of every body of water that has ever existed in Equestria would soon be dumped over my head and make me run blindly into every standing structure in Ponyville, both natural and ponymade," he pointedly ignored the grin that Rainbow immediately, but far too late, slapped a hoof over in order to hide, "I figure it was not a malicious act. So…" he gave a sarcastic flourish, "… you are forgiven."

"Just like that, huh?"

"Just like that, indeed." He made it a point to twist his facial lines into a perfectly neutral, stony expression. "Though if you feel you are undeserving of my forgiveness, then..."

Rainbow desperately stretched out both front legs towards him. He imagined that, had she had hands, they would be pleadingly positioned palms-first. "No, no, you got it all wrong! I do deserve it!"

Wesker recoiled in mock stupefaction. "Well, somepony has an inflated opinion of herself."

"Wait, I didn't mean..." She stopped mid-flail as she registered the smirk back on his face. "Stop doing that!"

The earthbound pony began examining the picture-perfect fauna and flora around them. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Miss Rainbow, but I am certainly glad we are back on cordial terms again; if our friendship were to die, then so would my heart. And my dreams."

Rainbow crossed her forelegs. "Yeah... I'm gonna go ahead and not believe what you just said."

"That's wise of you." He broke the staring contest he was currently undergoing against a small sparrow, causing the tiny bird to breathe a sigh of relief and wipe a bead of sweat off its brow with a shaking wing before fleeing. "For a sleepy little town, Ponyville certainly has a lot of incidents, doesn't it?"

The pegasus nodded. "Sure does! Even before you got here, there was the whole Elements of Harmony thing, the Gala ticket mix-up, and even a bunny stampede!"

Wesker cocked his head to the side. "A bunny stampede? How...? Why...?" He noticed Rainbow's expression was utterly blank, with only a trace of weary resignation present within her magenta irises. He sighed. "Do I even want to ask?"

"No. You really don't, Al. Just know it was Applejack being Applejack before Twilight had to go all friendship-y on her rump."

"Is that all Ponyville has suffered through within the last few months?"

"That I know of…" Rainbow continued reluctantly, "Well, aside from you and Gilda. But hey, I think I'm getting used to the fact that disaster is always just around the corner here."

"I wouldn't say that party was a total disaster."

"You knocked the guest of honour unconscious."

"Yes, but the cake was exquisite."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, but Wesker caught the beginnings of a smile tugging at her lips as she turned away. "I can't say she didn't deserve it, especially since she was about to attack you." There was a brief pause as a thought struck her, causing her lips to move wordlessly as she considered how to word it.

"Do spit it out, Miss Rainbow. You don't need to worry about offending me."

"Huh. Well, I was just wondering..." the mare nodded in the direction of Wesker's newly acquired knitwear, "...why do you like the color black so much?"

Bizarrely for the former-Umbrella scientist, this wasn't the first time he had been asked that very same question.

January 29th, 1991

"Why do you like the color black so much, Wesker?"

The male scientist pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose and averted his gaze from the thick wad of reports he was being forced to fill in to the Irish scientist perched on the edge of his desk. His eyes flicked towards his discarded lab coat and a hand sub-consciously brushed the collar of his black polo jumper. "As alluring as you are, leaning provocatively on the corner of my desk, Miss Donnelly, I have work to do and no time to fritter away on meaningless questions."

She sighed. "Aw, I bet you say that to all the girls."

Wesker snorted and looked back down at the paperwork he needed to fill in, but was halted in his tracks by a slender hand obscuring the top sheet.

"I'm so bored, Wesker! I've finished all my paperwork," she continued, tilting her head towards her own workstation, in which every single piece of paper was neatly sorted and placed inside of the 'outgoing' tray.

"Fantastic. I couldn't be happier for you," Wesker growled. "Now get your hand off my desk before I decide to staple it."

She chuckled in response, which was still a rarity for the imposing scientist; had he said that to any other subordinate, then they would have instantly fled, cradling their limb in order to protect it from the infamously sociopathic head researcher always cloaked in a shroud of black. Unfortunately, Miss Donnelly appeared to have called his bluff long ago. "And what would you do with my hand, then, Dr. Wesker?" She purred, looking at the impassive blond from under her eyelashes.
Her superior arched an eyebrow and methodically lowered his glasses, staring her directly in the eye whilst gently grabbing hold of her hand and moving it away from his neatly organised forms. "Probably all this paperwork, since you seem to go through it so quickly."

She let out an exasperated sigh. "Answer my question and I'll do them for you."

His pen – black ink, of course – halted in midair above the troublesome red tape and moved to land on the desk. "Answer me something first: why do you like the colour red so much, Miss Donnelly?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "My hair is red."

Wesker waited for a follow-up that never came. "… that's it? I never had you pegged as the airhead type, Miss Donnelly. I at least expected some degree of the artistic license you love so much."

Caitlin smirked. "Does it have to be that complex? I could recite some Sylvia Plath if you like – apparently she saw herself as having two 'colours' to her personality: red and blue. The red side was..."

"Okay! Okay!" Wesker waved his hands frantically. "Please... no poetry. I imagine the red represented her tempestuous side and the blue represented her quiet, thoughtful side?"

She smiled at the magnitude of her lover's reaction. "Pretty much. It's a nice metaphor, if nothing else. I like to think of myself as pretty 'red'."

The blond let out an amused snort. "Yes, I believe I recall reading Sylvia Plath's poetry regarding the wild and passionate fashion in which she filled in lab reports." He leaned in as though divulging a great secret to the monumentally unamused Irish scientist. "They say she committed suicide because her paperwork wasn't challenging enough for her and she longed for a bureaucracy which would allow her to truly cut loose and sign on the dotted lines with all the fervour her troubled soul demanded."

Two hands instantly appeared at the side of Wesker's paperwork and brought it airborne. "I swear to God, I will shuffle these papers, Albert. I'll shuffle them so much, you'll need fifty secretaries to get them back in order again – and I don't mean the bimbos Spencer hires to sit around and look pretty. I mean real secretaries, with some knowledge of administration in their heads."

Wesker raised his arms disarmingly. "Now, now, think about your blue side, Miss Donnelly. This isn't who you are."

She chuckled and tossed the papers back onto the desk. "You're such a dork, Wesker."

He said nothing as he crossed his legs and swivelled slightly in his chair, fingers steepled and a growing smirk crossing his lips.

She continued, "So, are you going to answer my question or not? Why do you like black so much?"

The tall male hummed slightly in concentration as he thought of how to formulate his answer, sweeping a hand through his immaculate hair. "It's intimidating, and I like to look intimidating, Miss Donnelly. You know that."

Caitlin cocked her head to the side and leaned forward until they were almost nose to nose, "You're not doing a very good job, then, are you, Albert?"

He sighed, swept a gesturing hand around him and looked away. "The exception proves the rule. Notice how every other person in the lab has given me my space and wouldn't dare approach me whilst I'm working on something that is due in today for any reason other than a very important one. Even Birkin knows not to bother me when I'm doing paperwork. In fact..."

He was cut off by a staple bouncing off his chest.

"Don't waste my staples, Miss Donnelly. I may need to make use of them."

The redhead froze and tried to hide the stapler behind her back as she retreated a few yards, "What do I get if I hit one of the lenses on your glasses?"

"A mercifully quick death."

"Huh, that's a terrible prize. Never work in the game show industry, Wesker."

"Noted. Now stop wasting my staples and finish my paperwork for me, like we agreed."

Another staple hit the base of his chin. "That's really why you like black? Because it makes you look intimidating? You're six foot three! You could probably look intimidating without wearing black all the time."

"Well..." he leaned forwards once more, stopping only to jerk his head nonchalantly to the side in order to stop another tiny metal projectile from hitting his perfect face, "if it is that important to you, then I'll explain my real reason behind my fondness for the colour. On one condition."

"Oh? And what's that?"

He motioned with a finger for Caitlin to come closer, and she tentatively moved forward a few inches. It was all Wesker needed to snatch the stapler out of her unsuspecting hands and stash it in his top drawer, in a single swift movement. "That's the condition."

"You suck."

"Noted. Now, Miss Donnelly, the real reason I love black is because it has a level of complexity that belies its seemingly modest nature as a 'lack of colour'. Just as there can be no light without shadow, there can be no appreciation for the world's most vibrant and stunning colours without black to provide some degree of contrast." He spread his arms. "The reason I love it is because only the most attentive and intelligent can truly appreciate it."

He straightened the collar of his polo jumper, brushing away an errant staple which had lodged itself there. "Besides, it suits me."

Caitlin blinked numbly. "You could have said that from the start."

"Would you have accepted that answer on its own, or would you have not believed it and continued to use stationery for target practice?"

The redhead stroked her chin thoughtfully. "The second one is the one that involves firing staples at you, right?" She laughed at the rolling of the eyes that she could sense even beneath Wesker's mirrored frames. "Thanks for answering my question, and thanks for relieving my boredom for a bit."

A gentle kiss was placed on her lover's cheek as she strode off. A staple rebounded off the back of her head and she spun round to find a black-clad male clutching a series of papers, which were hastily pressed into her open palms. "I believe you forgot these, Miss Donnelly."

He allowed himself yet another tiny smirk as she groaned, dragging her feet as she trudged back to her desk.

As she sat down to begin working, a tiny piece of metal hit the top page. She turned once more to find Albert Wesker, sitting stone-faced at his desk as he slowly raised his right hand to reveal a blue plastic stapler, and then his left to reveal another of red metal.

When the various members of Umbrella's most prestigious and secretive project returned to their workplaces, they were never able to explain why there were so many staples scattered around the office space, or why their terrifying head researcher was nowhere to be found.

Present Day

No expression crossed Wesker's face as he replied, "I suppose it's because it suits me, Miss Rainbow."

Albert Wesker and FASHION

Author's Note: Lordy Lordy, about bleedin' time I finished that dissertation. Still need to do some very minor editing of my Nazi economy essay but for all intents and purposes my final year of university is finished. Terrifying stuff. For you guys, however, this is a joyous occasion because it means I have no excuse to not post a new chapter. Hope you enjoy flashbacks...
... JOKING. Couldn't resist. Just as an FYI, I will be treating the future episode based chapter(s?) differently to how I treated the last one. Definitely won't be quoting it word for word because I thought it made it just a retread of stuff you've already seen with Wesker pasted in the middle so I'm trying to avoid that this time. Will probably be from memory. Beta'd by Jack Kellar and JasonTaylorBlogs. They rock my socks.

"I don't do fashion, I AM fashion."
Coco Chanel

"I just don't see how the pair of them would ever get themselves into such a scenario, Miss Rainbow."

The pegasus slowly ran a hoof across her forehead, "I'm not saying that they're going to, Al! I'm just saying that, if they did, then who'd win?"

Wesker sighed. "You'd probably expect me to say Applejack, as she seems infinitely more rambunctious, but I would have to go for Miss Pinkie."

Rainbow reared up indignantly, wings flapping faster and sending her lazy overhead flight a microscopic degree off-course. "You really think Pinks could beat AJ in a fight?"

"I believe Miss Pinkie can do anything she sets her mind to, regardless of whether or not physics allows it."

"And you're okay with that?"

The stallion scoffed. "I just force my incredulity inwards. I'm sure that Miss Pinkie wouldn't acquiesce to being the subject of a dissection, so I just have to accept the explanation that she is an anomaly of logic and science."

How very much unlike the rest of Equestria...

Just take it one brain-melting inconsistency at a time. He could only repress one at a time.

"I know what you mean, Al," said a voice from outside his head.

I sincerely doubt you do.

"We've just kinda learnt to accept that rules don't really apply to Pinkie and left it at that," Rainbow Dash continued, unfazed by thoughts she wasn't privy to.

Don't want to try any of that nasty 'thinking' business, right?

Externally, the blond merely nodded once and said, "Indeed."

"All right, then, next one. Rarity or Twilight?"

He let out an exasperated groan. "Why exactly are you asking me which of your friends would be capable of inflicting damage upon your other friends?"

The mare scoffed. "Bored."

"I'm not sure that's a sufficient excuse," the former human snorted impatiently, "At least give me a difficult one."

Rainbow leaned inwards, intrigued.

"Obviously Miss Rarity," he finished.

"What?!" the pegasus gasped. "Have you seen Twilight's magic? There's no way she would lose to any other unicorn!"

"You said 'fight', Miss Rainbow, and as far as I see it, fights are physical. I assumed magic was banned from the attack set."

"Oh, right," Rainbow conceded, then cast Wesker a suspicious sidelong glance. "Are you taking this seriously now?"

The former Umbrella operative sighed once more. "I have but set parameters for these moronic fictional bouts."

The mare tapped her chin. "Even so... I reckon Twilight would be pretty scrappy."

"And Miss Rarity would not?"

"She'd probably call the whole thing off if she got a speck of dirt of her mane."

"I assumed both contestants would be fighting in a pristine, decontaminated combat zone." The stallion raised a single eyebrow at Rainbow's wordless befuddlement. "I may have gotten a speck too involved in mentally constructing these fictitious battles."

She shrugged. "Well, nothing better to do."

Wesker gingerly ran a hoof through his mane to ensure it was still pristine. It was. "Agreed. Besides, when Miss Twilight has made me a scarf, then perhaps I will cheer her to triumph in my death arena."

Rainbow snorted. "I got ten bits on you, Al."

The blond rolled his eyes in response. "No one fights in their own death arena, Miss Rainbow. That's just an admission that you can't attract the big names."

The multi-hued mare blinked. "You're in a really strange mood today, aren't you?"

"I've been unconscious for a week. Personally I would use the term 'giddy'."

Rainbow looked sheepish once more and gingerly opened her mouth, but Wesker intervened for a second time. "If you're about to apologise again, I will choke you, Miss Rainbow."

Her mouth snapped shut rapidly.

"Good."

The unlikely pair reached the outside of Carousel Boutique soon after the fairly amicable – by Albert Wesker's standards – exchange, and the stallion turned to the mare. "Are you joining me, Miss Rainbow?"

She shook her head. "Nah. I've heard there's some sort of show going on in Ponyville town center, so I thought I'd check it out. Bring Rarity along if the two of you are interested."

"I may well do that. See you soon, then, Miss Rainbow."

The pegasus smiled and gave a mock salute, prior to speeding off towards whatever this 'show' was, leaving Wesker to stroll towards Rarity's home and place of work at a leisurely pace.

"Mr. Wesker!"

Or not.

He turned to his right to find a snow white earth pony marching towards him, her expression of faint concern lessening his initial fear. "Ah, Miss Redheart. How are you this fine day?"

The medical mare waved a dismissive hoof. "That's not important, Mr. Wesker. How are you? Fluttershy told me you've been seriously ill for quite a few days."

He frowned. "I am fine, I assure you, and I have other errands to run; I certainly don't want to waste time being poked and probed."

She glowered in response.

He continued, "Not that that is all you would do. I understand the importance of medical procedure… it's just..."

She arched a wry eyebrow, scoffing. "...You'd rather drop dead than experience a minor inconvenience?"

OOOO, SHE TORCHED YOUR ASS, AL! BOOOOOOOOOOOOM! DEAL WITH IT!

How on earth was he not totally insane yet?

Yeah, about the whole 'not being insane' thing...

Conversation with self, over.

"Honestly Miss Redheart? Yes. I'll take my chances."

The pink-maned pony scuffed a hoof along the ground in annoyance. "I'm working late tonight. Can you at least nip round before you go back home?" She waved the slightly dirty hoof in front of Wesker's face before he started to protest. "It won't take longer than ten minutes, I promise."

The scientist sighed reluctantly. "Fine. Though I'm starting to believe you simply like having me around."

She rolled her eyes but offered him a small smile. "Thank you. Remember, it's for science."

A dry chuckle escaped Wesker's lips. "How reassuring."

The way that problems accumulated in Equestria, Wesker would not have been remotely surprised if someone else had jumped out and accosted him on the thirty-yard long walk to Rarity's front door. Fortunately for him, no such catastrophe occurred and he was able to calmly knock on the purple door of the gaudy building before he wondered whether it was more a home or workplace. Was he supposed to just walk in, or...

"Come in!"

... wait to be given permission? What an unusual shop this was.

He gingerly pushed the door open and poked his head around the corner to see the fashionista looking elsewhere as she telekinetically sewed a dress. "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique and magnifique," she greeted without looking. "How can I help you today?"

He snorted in amusement. "Why do I get the feeling that this line is rehearsed, Miss Rarity?"

Recognition of his voice had the unicorn's needle and thread clattering to the floor theatrically as she snapped her head in his direction. "Oh Albert, I am so relieved to see you up and about!" She beamed widely as she walked closer to him. "You're even wearing the scarf I made you!"

"Of course, that's why I am here." He stepped through the doorway. "I wished to thank you. I don't expect you'd accept some form of compensation for your time and effort?"

"You know well what to expect, Albert." Rarity flicked her mane imperiously from her eyes. "It was a gift; I heard you were unwell and decided the least I could do was provide you with something pleasant to wake up to." She grinned impishly and continued, "Besides, you'd be surprised how rarely I find gentlecolts with real class in this town. It's like having a walking mannequin." Wesker arched an eyebrow, but Rarity had already dashed to the other side of the shop, approaching a thick, red velvet curtain. "Which is why I was inspired to create this for you!"

Wesker held up a calming hoof. "Miss Rarity, you really didn't have to do that. I appreciate the scarf, but I don't want you to lose out on profits because you were too busy making outfits that you aren't willing to accept compensation for."

"Nonsense!" the snow white pony derided. "If anything, this whole outfit was a vanity project on my part; you just happen to be getting the finished product. Not to mention that no other pony that comes would suit black like you do. Nopony could wear this, therefore you are DESTINED to wear it!"

Wesker chuckled at the dramatic performance. "When you put it like that Miss Rarity, perhaps I should be charging you."

She laughed richly in response.

"How on earth could you tell that black was my colour, though?" he asked curiously.

She smiled smugly. "Well, it is my job, Albert. Furthermore, with some ponies, you can tell their fashion sense in an instant."

A single eyebrow made its way upward. "How many gems did you use on the outfit?"

Another laugh bubbled up from the mare's throat. "Fear not, Albert, I recognize a pony who appreciates simplicity. Black makes other colours more vibrant, does it not? Only a real connoisseur can appreciate it while keeping its uniqueness intact."

Wow. She's pretty much quoting you word for word. That's actually kind of creepy, Al.

"Great minds think alike, it seems, Miss Rarity."

"I would agree with you if I were just a great mind, Albert. But I…" She gripped the golden tassel of the curtain with a cloud of purple magic. "… am an ARTISTE!"

At the final word, she tugged the tassel and the enormous red curtain parted to reveal...

Oh god, Al... She's psychic! Think normal thoughts!

Rarity was watching his reaction carefully. "What do you think, Albert?"

It was perfection, beautiful and pristine. He could've wept for joy, but settled instead for gently rubbing a hoof along his jawline. "There is absolutely no way," he said slowly, observing how her face fell to a crestfallen expression, "I can take this for free. I must give you something in return."

A burst of unusually loud and relieved laughter burst forth from the boutique owner. "That is most certainly not going to happen, I'm afraid, my dear! It's a gift and that is that."

Wesker admired the garment. It reminded him strongly of the suit and polo-neck combination he wore many years ago, but the collar and lapel of the outer layer were trimmed with deep black silk, as opposed to the very dark grey of the rest of the outfit. It really was a tour de force. "If I can't appeal to you emotionally to accept some form of payment, then allow me to make a logical argument."

Rarity rolled her eyes, still giggling pristinely. "Go ahead."

"These flights of fancy are made possible by the numbers of sales you achieve, correct?"

She nodded.

"Should you allow me to take this remarkable outfit for nothing, then ponies will ask me 'where did you get that remarkable outfit?' and I shall respond 'it was a gift from my dear friend Rarity.'"

"As it should be."

The blonde nodded. "You would think so, but their internal response would then be 'well, I am not friends with this Rarity, so I could not hope to afford a garment of such quality.'"

She looked uncomfortable at this logic. "Well, I suppose so..."

"If, however, you were to accept a pittance in exchange for me wearing this and accompanying you to the show in the town centre – let's say 5 bits –, then when ponies ask where I got this ensemble from, I will answer 'for five bits from Carousel Boutique'. They will then think to themselves, 'my word! What a fantastic price! I must check out this boutique myself so that I may bask in its reasonably priced fashion.' The income from their purchases will then allow you the means to create more such flights of fancy for your friends."

The stallion's reasoning left the unicorn awestruck. She fought to regain her bearings, scoffing out, "Fine! But not a single bit more, Albert! I feel bad enough that you're insisting on paying for a gift to a friend."

"Of course." With a small smirk, he placed five golden coins on a nearby table and walked towards the suit, pulling the curtain closed as he passed it. "I shall only be a moment."

Once he had clothed himself in the extraordinary set, he exited from behind the heavy velvet wall. He glanced over at Rarity, who was beaming as though she had just cured every known disease at once. "It truly is extraordinary, but how did you know all my measurements? This suit feels as though it was tailored with a measuring tape."

The mare smiled knowingly. "Fashion, my dear. A true couturier can tell a client's measurements with a single glance. If I'd had to measure you, it would have spoilt the surprise."

Maybe if humans had been this kind and considerate, then he wouldn't have tried to wipe them out and establish a new world order.

Or you would have found some other way to justify it because you're a cold, unfeeling sociopath, Albert.

Possibly, but it was nice to pretend.

Albert Wesker and the Showpony, Part I

Author's Note: Yes, I am actually alive. Have been working in a pub recently and the shifts have been fairly hectic. Just managed to squeeze my writing time into my day off. Hope you enjoy this chapter and remember that I'm not necessarily quoting the episodes word for word anymore but doing them from memory so please don't correct me if I get something wrong cos I'm trying not to re-tread the same ground. It may follow a similar direction though, Wesker doesn't screw up the timeline too much. Short chapter, I know but I have a day off on Thursday so I should be able to write part II then. Fingers crossed. Enjoy, you lovely people. Beta'd by Jack Kellar and Jasontaylorblogs

"Stupidity combined with arrogance and a huge ego will get you a long way."

Chris Lowe

It certainly was a bizarre occurrence for Albert Wesker. Never in his entire life had he ever found anything like it, a fact proven by how he had to die twice and travel to another dimension to top it off.

All in order to locate it... A being whose ego was even larger than his.

He merely stood, dumbfounded, next to an equally aghast Rarity, as this magician rattled off a long list of her positive virtues. Most of which were just prefixes to her name, Trixie.

Great and Powerful Trixie, I think you'll find, Al.

Only once Hell froze over would he call her that.

Still, the idea that this showcase could very well be merely part of the act and after the mare pulled a bunny from a hat, she would then go on to reveal herself as a mildly annoying average citizen, rather than a colossal pain in the hindquarters, provided the former human with some solace. That would really be magic, the magic of acting, a base for the fine art of theater.

It seemed more plausible than a pony quite this insufferable actually existing in real life.

At least you've accepted this as real now, Al. That's a relief.

Of course his brain could never concoct such humiliating scenarios. This had to be real.

Wesker switched off his insular wondering and focused once more on the blue unicorn flouncing across the stage in front of him. "Roll up, roll up. Get in line for the most bedazzling, incredible show in all of pony history! Be part of a one in a lifetime phenomenon as the Great and Powerful Trixie shows her fabulous and unprecedented magical skill!"

He turned to Rarity, "She certainly can't be accused of lacking showmanship, can she?"

Another new arrival cut across the unicorn's reply, earning herself a frosty glare from her. "Sure can't, Al. Shame her attitude stinks so much, ain't really the way to sell yourself to decent folk."

"Thank you for interrupting, Applejack," Rarity said before turning back towards Wesker, missing the tongue that the earth pony stuck out at her back. The blonde mare smirked, but turned away when the stallion of the trio caught her eye mid-act.

"I agree," the snow white mare continued obliviously, "not to mention she's been doing nothing but talking herself up for what feels like forever. Is there even a show to watch?"

Wesker rolled his eyes as the showpony continued reeling in the interested ponies with endless self-aggrandising talk as they strolled across the town centre. "Perhaps this is the show. One hour of magical and stupendous arrogance. Perhaps her cutie mark is the metaphysical embodiment of an unearned sense of self-worth."

Three pairs of eyes gazed confusedly at him – Rarity's, Applejack's and Rainbow's, the latter of whom had only arrived in time for the tail end of his rant.

Wesker sighed. "I mean she is arrogant and that is bad."

There were noises of agreement and faint nods from the three mares in front of him, and it took all of his willpower to not bring his hoof in heavy contact with his forehead.

He was spared having to resist the urge by the sudden arrival of Twilight Sparkle, with Spike atop her back. She seemed to have moved rapidly towards the show, as her cheeks were faintly reddened from surmised physical strain. She smiled tiredly when she noticed her friends directly in front of the stage and, manoeuvering her way through the packed crowd, eventually found herself alongside three of her fellow Elements of Harmony and a certain incognito ex-human. "Hey, everypony... has the show started yet?"

She was met with a collective sigh and a resounding 'no' from all of the present.

Spike scratched his head idly. "Huh. I thought we were gonna be late." Twilight huffed and glared at him as she tried to catch her breath. "What? I'm only a baby, I can't be expected to run all the way!"

"No, she hasn't begun yet." Wesker chanced a glance up at the stage, where the showpony finally seemed satisfied with the size of the crowd in front of her, evident by how she dramatically cleared her throat. "Ah, I think she's finally finished with the sales pitch."

Trixie then retreated back into her portable set.

The blonde sighed in annoyance a second time. "Or perhaps not."

"Come one, come all," said a voice belonging to the now-unseen blue unicorn. "Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

There was a flash of light, a puff of smoke and in an instant the blue unicorn appeared triumphantly on stage, beaming smugly as a chorus of 'ooooo's rose up in front of her.

There was even more showmanship to come, Wesker guessed. "Gaze in awe and wonder as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs feats that have never before been witnessed by pony eyes!"

He was right.

Resist the urge to scream in frustration, resist the urge to scream in frustration....

He silently repeated this mantra in his head, time and time again. There would be a show soon; everyone in show business needed to inflate their act before they performed it. Resist the urge to scream in frustration.

Some fireworks flew from the recesses of her trailer, drawing more gasps of awe from the pin-headed simpletons in the audience.

"What boasting…" Wesker and Rarity caught each other's eyes when they realized they both spoke the exact same two words in unison. The impromptu coordination elicited a faint grin from both. Spike muttered something about Twilight and mustaches before sprinting off in the opposite direction.

Twilight looked concerned, "There's nothing wrong with being talented is there?"

Wesker snorted contemptuously. "Talent and arrogance are two entirely different beasts, dear heart."

Applejack nodded vigorously. "She's a show-off and Ponyvillians don't take too kindly to show-offs." A snort escaped her as Trixie made a bouquet of flowers appear via magic, looking all too pleased with herself.

"Exactly!" Rarity flipped her mane dramatically to the side. "Being able to do lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us."

Rainbow smirked and raised a hoof as though she were about to make some sort of smug comment, but as she caught Wesker's warning glare, the words died in her throat. "Uhh… Yeah. Magic schmagic." His eyebrow arched skyward. "Uhh… booo!" she pressed on half-heartedly.

Unfortunately, this half-hearted attempt at agreeing with the general consensus caught the attention of the performer. "Well, it seems we have some neiiiigh-sayers in the audience!"

Lovely pun there. God I love this world Al, it's like one big cartoon.

"Do they not know that they are in the presence of the greatest magician in all of Equestria?!"

Wesker cast a sidelong glance at his companions, who were all in various phases of either annoyance or stupefaction, and a thought struck him. "Where is Miss Fluttershy?"

Most of the other ponies continued to look angrily towards Trixie, except for Rainbow. "She's cleaning up her cottage. She's a little bit of a neat-freak, and having someone she just met stay there for a week unconscious has kinda thrown her a bit." Wesker frowned. "Not that it's your fault."

His expression didn't change. "No. It's yours."

Rainbow rolled her eyes, right as Rarity finally spoke up, "Just who does she think she is?"

Spike, who had snuck back into the group mere moments ago, began to say something before being ushered away by Twilight, who spoke to him away from the crowd in hushed tones.

"Do you think that Twilight is bothered by this Trixie character?"

Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked over at Wesker, but were unable to reply, interrupted by another cacophony of fireworks erupting into the air. It seemed that, for Rainbow Dash at least, it was the last straw of her patience; she flew up onto the stage to confront the arrogant unicorn. "What makes you think you're so great anyway?"

The showmare scoffed. "It's very simple: only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic enough to defeat the dreaded URSA MAJOR!" A series of extra fireworks shot up into the sky and produced a crude outline of a bear that, apparently, was meant to look ferocious. "When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one else to turn to." She flourished her head dramatically and a tiny outline of a blue pony on a broomstick appeared in the sky next to the bear. "The Great and Powerful Trixie vanquished the dreaded Ursa Major with her awesome magic and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!"

The firework representing Trixie shot out purple lines, and the giant bear vanished with a sudden shot of sparks. Most present gasped in shock and awe, loudly praising the magical abilities of the pony before them, including two foals to the left of Wesker and his companions.

The former human's composure slipped. Majorly. "WHAT?"

Everyone present stopped their acts of talking or applauding in favor of staring at the furious blond stallion wearing mirrored shades.

"Are you fucking kidding me? It's a picture of a bear written in magical fireworks! That doesn't prove that she defeated anything! I could draw a picture of me relieving myself on a manticore's head and that wouldn't be any evidence that I've done anything close to it!

"What is wrong with all of you?! Are you really such small-minded simpletons that you take absolutely everything you hear on face value?!" Still seething, the man sharply pushed his glasses back to the bridge of his nose. "Perhaps, if all of you could think for five seconds, you might realise that this is just smoke and mirrors! If she was truly so powerful, then why would she be in a goddamn trailer performing a rickety one-pony razzle-dazzle show?!"

His entire audience, which included the so-called Great and Powerful Trixie, stared blankly at the livid earth pony. Wesker felt a vein pulsing angrily at the side of his head, drumming unchallenged in the dead silence of Ponyville.

The uncomfortable stillness hung as heavily as a cloud over the group of ponies until Albert Wesker caught himself and realised the extent of the scene he had just caused. "Erm… I mean, wow. Golly gosh, that really takes my breath away," he uttered with little enthusiasm.

To her credit, Trixie recovered from the dumb shock before anyone eles. "Th… That's right. Trixie certainly is the best in all of Ponyville. Anypony care to prove me wrong?"

Wesker sighed in relief as his rant was mercifully pushed out of mind by the challenge, which his acquaintances bristled at in turn.

Still, he had the feeling it was going to be one of those days.

Albert Wesker and the Showpony, Part II

Author's Note: I know. It has been a veeeeeeeeeeeery long time since I've updated but my triple threat excuses of work, laziness and a broken laptop are stronger than your rage. DON'T HATE ME! Betas had to work overtime to fix this, as I had not written for a fair old while. With that all said I really hope you enjoy it and as always your comments and feedback keep me warm on lonely nights. Beta’d by Jack Kellar and Jasontaylorblogs.

"Pretend inferiority and encourage his arrogance."
-Sun Tzu

It was disturbing how easily the ponies around him had discarded his expletive-ridden rant from their memories. Apart from Twilight and Rarity, who were casting him wary glances, it appeared that all the others had decided to wipe their brains clear of that particular event to focus on a blue unicorn wearing a fancy hat. Who had time for logic in their busy schedules when there were shiny things to look at?

At this particular time, the shiny unicorn herself was seemingly on a one-mare quest to aggravate her entire audience by pointing at them and saying how terrible they were at everything. Unsurprisingly to Wesker, Applejack eventually bristled at the name 'Little Hayseed' and went about proving her talent to the arrogant unicorn.
It went about as well as he could have expected.

Heh, it's like the rope is a snake… That's funny, Al.

If by 'funny,' Joy mean unusual rather than amusing… Though he certainly could appreciate the irony in a farm girl being hogtied by her own lasso. On the other hand, Applejack's friends did not seem to find the whole scenario particularly hilarious, and so Wesker felt compelled to say something again. He cleared his throat, taking a great deal of pleasure from the momentary expression of shock and horror that appeared on the magician's face at the sight of her detractor before she rapidly composed herself and slapped another arrogant sneer on her face. "Do you get many repeat gigs, Miss Trixie?"

She flourished extravagantly as fireworks popped and crackled behind her. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is the greatest magician and performer in all of Equestria! Many cities clamour for her wondrous magic show and she must do her best to appear before all of them."

Wesker tilted his head to the side, "You didn't answer my question, Miss Trixie. Do any of these cities actually want you to come back once you've performed?" She didn't respond verbally, pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes at the blond interloper instead. That was all the response the former human required. "Do you ever wonder why that is?"

She stared off somewhere into the middle distance with a dramatic sigh. "The Great and Powerful Trixie has been beset by jealous, inferior ponies from her birth. It is sad that they can never appreciate the jaw-dropping talent on display... But so kind-hearted and generous is she that she even comes to this hick town in the middle of nowhere so that everypony can see her once in a lifetime performance. Truly, she is too good for this world!"

A still-hogtied-Applejack interrupted her continuous staring of daggers into the side of the showpony's head, an expression which was mirrored by both Rarity and Rainbow Dash whilst Spike quietly begged Twilight to intervene, to roll her eyes.

Wesker, on the other hand, radiated an aura of unnerving calm, and even allowed a small smile to tug at the corners of his mouth. This was arrogance on a scale he had previously thought impossible, like a caricature of himself; it was both amusing and discomforting at the same time. His smirk did not go unnoticed by Trixie, who halted her dramatic monologue to point scathingly at him. "What gives you the right to try and question the Great and Powerful Trixie? What talents do you have that allow you to place yourself on a pedestal above the most fabulous of all equines?"

Rarity's mouth formed a small 'o', as she definitely took exception to the claim that the mare before her was more fabulous than herself, but thankfully Wesker's brain was working rapidly enough to avert a crisis…

… if not sensibly enough to avoid embarrassment.

Don't say killing people, don't say killing people, don't say killing people.

"I'm… quite good… at… singing…?"

… kind of wish you'd said killing people, Al.

Wesker stared steadfastly at the taken-aback Trixie, mainly because he could see the baffled faces of everypony present on the periphery of his vision, and he wasn't ready to face the shame of what his mouth had just spat out. Applejack, who had hopped off stage and untied herself, tried so desperately to avoid laughing she choked herself on the apple she was now consuming.

Trixie opened her mouth once or twice without success before she eventually found her voice again, "Really?"

"…Yes?"

She frowned, "Would you care to demonstrate?"

"Erm… I would prefer it if you went first."

Ah, a bold gambit. Clearly this is the first step on your plan to remould Equestria in your image, Albert. Well done.
The knowledge that Wesker had gleaned from reading those books on magic since what felt like a lifetime ago came in handy as he observed Trixie's horn glow, and she cast what appeared what to be an illusion spell, a subtle one if the lack of reaction from the audience was any evidence.

When she started singing, it sounded haunting and unworldly and absolutely perfect: a slow eulogy which felt like a hit in the heart with a sledgehammer. But while the other ponies were lost in the auditory entertainment, he was not foolish enough to believe she was actually singing that well, as for one, Rainbow Dash was nodding her head at a pace far more rapid than the tempo of the song he was hearing.

Must be a spell which makes the target hear or see whatever they want to hear or see the most.

Makes sense…

So when the last note faded away and Trixie bowed deeply to the applause, which came from everypony except him and the Elements of Harmony sans the absent Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, Wesker merely flashed a disarming smile at the mare. "Well, I've certainly been put in my place. I can't match that."

Trixie glared suspiciously at her black-suited nemesis. "So you admit that I'm better than you?"

"At singing, yes."

She opened her mouth to continue the argument, but whatever vitriolic words she intended to utter died in her throat. "Well… that will do." She slowly turned away from the still-grinning former scientist, flourishing her theatrics once more, "You see? There are no limits to the Great and Powerful and Trixie's awesome power!"

A hoof slowly raised in the air as its owner continued enjoying himself far too much. Trixie gritted her teeth. "What?!" She snapped.

"I can also hold my breath for a really long time."

"That's not…"

"I also managed to fire a staple at someone from across an entire office. Good shot, too."

"Why are you…?"

"Oh, and one time, I finished three months' worth of paperwork in a single night. What a shift that was."

I remember that. That was wild, Al.

"Can you…"

"I'm especially talented at distracting performers."

"Stop!" After the frustrated shout finished rattling Wesker's eardrums, Trixie pressed a hoof to the bridge of her nose. "You have already proven yourself to be inferior to the Great and Powerful Trixie. Stop embarrassing yourself further!"

Rarity, Rainbow and Applejack shared equal expressions of suppressed amusement, while the blond once more beamed in faux-friendliness, with only the biting sneer in his eyes to give away his true feelings. "My humble apologies, Miss Trixie. Do continue. I believe you were talking about how fantastic you are at doing magic."

She shot him a dirty glare before clearing her throat once more and pressing on with her show, "I defy anyone to match the level of skill that I possess."

Rainbow Dash flew up to the stage. "I got no idea why you're strutting around like you're the hottest thing in Equestria."

Trixie quirked an eyebrow at her. "Oh?"

The pegasus grinned cockily. "That's my job!"

As Wesker watched the aftermath of another failed attempt to upstage Trixie – namely, a very nauseous and dizzy Rainbow Dash stumbling around the town square after being whirled around by a Trixie-manipulated rainbow tornado before being zapped in the rear by a tiny thundercloud –, he really began to wonder how exactly the unicorn made a living from this. It was a miracle she hadn't been lynched yet; Equestrians were really far too nice.

"What we need," Spike made his presence known once more, "is another unicorn to challenge her!" His pointed stare at Twilight made it pretty obvious where he was going with this, and when Rainbow and Applejack got involved, Wesker was sure this whole scenario would finally be resolved and he could get on with his day.

Unfortunately, yet another ego was thrown into the fray. "Well," Rarity preened, "I understand what you're all getting at, but I won't lower myself to her standard. I am above such nonsense."

The high road was all well and good, but apparently it was difficult to travel when your opponent insulted your mane. Frankly, Wesker didn't need to be hyper-intelligent to see where this was going… It just helped.

Once a tearful, melodramatic, green-maned Rarity had fled the scene – the only humiliation which genuinely rankled with Wesker, due to his appreciation of well-kept hair, shown by how his own had always been perfectly sculpted no matter what circumstances applied to the situation –, Twilight was finally challenged directly by Trixie to prove her magical ability.
She must be worried that she'll end up looking like an insufferable bitch. Like this insufferable bitch with the fancy hat.
Not quite as eloquent as he'd have liked, but the core point was true.

Twilight fled to tend to her talking laundry, and Wesker was left waiting for the whole situation to solve itself. Clearly, the librarian was worried about coming across as arrogant despite clearly being far better at magic than the so-called 'Great and Powerful' Trixie. It was only a matter of time before her friends made her realise that that mindset was moronic, and then they'd probably write a letter and sing a song. Problem solved.

As the crowd dissipated and Trixie folded up her stage, assisted and frankly fawned upon by the two foals he had seen earlier, Wesker hummed as he slowly walked towards the hospital to speak with Nurse Redheart.

Applejack glanced at him. "You off for a check-up?"

He nodded, and she returned the gesture, grim-faced. "Is something wrong, Miss Applejack?"

"I'm mighty sorry, Al, but that barrel o' hot air just got to me today. Can't believe she'd just roll into town, say the things she said and do the things she did. Not to mention that I'm starting to worry about how darn quick you can go from spitting fire to grinnin' like an idiot and windin' a pony up." She smiled. "Not that I'm complainin'."

He half smirked in turn. "I must admit it was nice to meet somepony with a larger ego than myself. Made a refreshing change."

"Bet you can't sing though," she snorted.

He shrugged dismissively. "That is one fact of life you'll never know beyond speculation, Miss Applejack."

With a roll of her eyes, the farmer waved goodbye, and Wesker trudged off towards the hospital. He couldn't say he looked forward to being poked and prodded once more, but science was above and beyond human… or pony… discomfort. So he once more marched fearlessly into the sterile building.

It was even more tedious than he had expected. Every single boring routine test he had been forced to do on test subjects to satisfy Umbrella bureaucracy was repeated here, and it was no less dull from the other side. Even more so, if anything. Every so often the snow-white earth pony responsible for the examination would throw a casual question about his past at him, and he would effortlessly deflect it with either charm, bluntness, or the ever-reliable amnesia card.

And so it was several hours later that Wesker found himself sitting on an examination table, having his reflexes tested.
"You do have remarkable reflexes, Mr Wesker. Have they been that way all your life?"

"I don't remember," he muttered dully.

"Well…" An almighty crash rang out from outside the building, silencing the Nurse's response and triggering a new one, "What in the world was that?!"

Wesker raised himself from the table and hauled his body weight up on the windowsill so he could peek through. When he turned back, he had on his muzzle a quite un-pony-like predatory grin. "A major problem, Miss Redheart."

Albert Wesker and the Showpony, part III

Albert Wesker and the Showpony, Part III

Author’s Note: Erm…. Hey guys? Have been very busy with work, my laptop decided to implode (AGAIN) and I’m naturally quite a lazy person so I can only apologise for the massive delay in bringing you lovely, patient people another chapter. Hell, if I wasn’t really ill at the moment I probably wouldn’t have been able to find the time but here I am and I am eager and ready to write another scintillating (I wish) chapter. Love and bubbles and I hope you enjoy. Xoxoxox P.S. All written from memory so if there’s some incorrect lines of dialogue then ya know… forgive me.

Wesker had always been a careful and methodical human being. Contrary to what his peers thought of him, he wasn’t a demon that revelled in slaughter and chaos, ideally his goal was to avoid conflict and achieve his goals surreptitiously and subtly.

But there’s a giant bear made of star matter and that’s super exciting!

It was. Much as he hated to admit it, his intervention in this very unusual matter was borne more from boredom than it was anything else. Nurse Redheart’s gentle attempt to subdue her patient were met with customary nonchalance as he elegantly sidestepped her wild, lunging tackle and dashed through the double doors of the hospital at the exact same moment that an ear-splitting roar shook the walls of all the buildings around Wesker.

Every 5 seconds in Equestria Wesker had to take stock of how unusual his life now was. Sprinting towards a giant star-bear wasn’t exactly something he ever saw himself doing but the afterlife had found a rather direct way of subverting his expectations until he was no longer surprised by this turn of events. In fact, all he had felt since seeing the Ursa Major on the horizon was a familiar rush of adrenaline but now he was quickly approaching it, he was beginning to realise the enormity of the beast before him.

Didn’t really have a plan for this part, did you Al?

Don’t die, preferably don’t get hit at all, look fantastic and don’t ruin the suit. Also, attack the space-bear. Speaking of the said Ursa Major, running away from it were the two sickeningly earnest Trixie fans from earlier in the day who entirely ignored the former Umbrella scientist and instead went straight to the trailer of the insufferable magician, hollering for her assistance.

Surprised she’s not awake already, that bear has crushed a couple of houses already and it’s not exactly quiet.

“I thought the Great and Powerful Trixie said she didn’t want to be disturbed!”

The oblivious pair of stallions shrugged off the attempted dismissal due to their shock at the slight damage the creature had already committed and just about managed to babble out, “We brought an Ursa Major to town!”

“You did what??” Wesker and Trixie mirrored each other’s words concurrently, causing the latter to throw an annoyed glance towards the former. Unfortunately this meant that she had no time to react as the enraged beast prepared to destroy her trailer.

Once again, the blonde was acting on pure adrenaline so instead of procuring some popcorn and awaiting the death of the irritating showpony in leisurely fashion, he instead leapt from standing through the open window and grabbed a firm hold of the blue unicorn, this left her only enough time for a startled squeak before he used his momentum to spin. Having already made one incredibly bad decision, he decided to go for broke and used his own body to shield the two from laceration as they burst through the decidedly closed window on the other side of the trailer just as the Ursa Major effortlessly crushed it.

Trixie gaped open-mouthedly and tried unsuccessfully to speak as Wesker then dumped her unceremoniously on the ground as he shook the glass from himself and critically examined the damage to his new clothes. The wide gashes spread out all along the garment bothered him infinitely more than the welfare of the mare he had just saved and the freely bleeding cut on his forehead. Or indeed the giant space-bear some five feet behind him.

“Damn! It was so beautiful! Newly stitched! How can I go back to Miss Rarity the day after I made it and tell her I ruined it saving some tiresome bint?!”

“Hey!”

He ignored Trixie’s protest, “…the nicest thing I’ve owned since I arrived here and now it’s absolutely destroyed! Why can’t I just have nice things?”

The Ursa Major let out a thunderous roar as Trixie ‘eep’d.

“You can shut up too! This is entirely your fault! How would this situation have arisen if you hadn’t come stomping in here like a bloody fool?!”

Trixie went to angrily refute this statement before she realised that it was actually directed at the bear, which looked as utterly baffled as Trixie and her miniature fan club were as the rant continued.

“…you think I run into tailoring like this on a daily basis? Do you think there is an immaculate suit tree growing in the town centre? I think you’ll find there is not! This was created through many hours of hard graft and while this mess is partly this one’s fault for existing,” a hoof was jabbed at the nearby indignant showpony, “and these two idiots’ fault for being idiots.” Snips and Snails looked suitably ashamed of their role in the whole calamity. “It is primarily your fault and why am I lecturing a giant bear made of stars??”

The spell suddenly broken, the Ursa Major swiped a giant paw towards Wesker as he darted backwards out of its reach. Finally the pair of colts turned to a still visibly shaking Trixie and the shorter of the pair piped up, “come on Great and Powerful Trixie, vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major!”

“Yeah, vanquish it so we can watch.”

A sage nod was Snails’ response to Snips’ utterance,” yeah, it took a lot of effort to bring that thing here!”

Trixie finally snapped out of her trance, “why did you two bring that thing here?! Are you out of your little pony minds?!”

“Much as it pains me, I have to agree, are you two secretly evil? Or just morons?”

Snips and Snails looked mildly hurt at the accusations but remained strong in the presence of their newly acquired idol, “but you’re the Great and Powerful Trixie! You defeated the mighty Ursa Major!”

Wesker suddenly dabbed a hoof against his head and stared at the blood coating the appendage, “and I’m fine, thank you all for asking.”

This time it was his turn to be ignored as Trixie gulped, faced the Ursa head-on and prepared for battle.

I suppose now is the time to see if she is all talk, Albert.

A rope was entwined with violet magic and began to descend slowly from the ground, it began to wrap itself firmly around the Ursa Major as Snips and Snails looked on in awe as the enchanted item began to work it’s way around the mystical beast….’s fingers.

Wesker matched the unamused expression on the Ursa’s face. Trixie glanced over at the former human, “there! Piece of cake.”

The rope was snapped with a mere gesture by the star-creature and the crowd that had now gathered gulped nervously and took a collective step backwards.

“Stop goofing around and vanquish it already!”

Several members of the rapidly increasing audience nodded in agreement, this show was getting a tad too real for their liking.

Beads of nervous sweat dripped down the unicorn’s face, belying to Wesker the real nature of the event before them. “Okay… I’ve got this.”

Dark stormclouds began brewing, growing in size and becoming more ominous as they hovered over the startled Ursa. Fair enough, she’d tried the non-lethal route and it had failed, now she was going to zap her opponent out of existence. He couldn’t blame her for the switch in focus.

Sadly the final result was less than impressive and the enormous bear was less than impressed after being given a slight shock by a comparatively tiny cloud. Once more, Trixie threw a scared look towards her earlier saviour.

“By all means, carry on. You seem to have this covered.” He arched an eyebrow as she pleaded silently with her eyes, “perhaps go back to the rope option, maybe it will work this time.”

Snips and Snails, on the other hand, were just dumbfounded by the whole situation, “what’re you doing Great and Powerful Trixie? Why haven’t you vanquished it yet?”

She sighed in defeated fashion, “I can’t! No-one can, I just made the whole thing up to make myself look better!”

“MADE IT UP?!” Trixie pointedly looked away from the smug look on Wesker’s face as her fan club had a sudden and dramatic crisis of confidence.

Unfortunately his moment of revelry was cut short by a colossal paw, which this time he was too busy silently mocking Trixie to avoid. He certainly felt it.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

SMACK. And that was how Albert Wesker found himself prone on the ground, hind legs against a wall, upside down with stars sprinkled liberally throughout his vision as the remainder of the ludicrous scene played out in fantastically upside down fashion.

The upside down crowd gasped in horror as upside down Twilight had an moment of agonising as she debated whether or not to do something for fear of making herself look like a ‘show-off’. Wesker decided that the natural conclusion was being reached far too slowly and intervened, “MISS TWILIGHT” he bellowed from his prone position some fifty feet away, “YOUR FRIENDS DON’T CARE ABOUT HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT MAGIC. IT’S NOT ARROGANCE TO SHOWCASE SOMETHING YOU’RE GOOD AT. THE ONLY REASON THEY DISLIKED TRIXIE’S MAGIC IS BECAUSE SHE WAS SO POMPOUS IN DISPLAYING IT.”

All of Twilight’s friends nodded in somewhat surprised agreement and they all took turns patiently explaining why this was the case but Wesker was unable to make out what they were saying due to his distance away and the fact his ears were ringing quite noticeably.

“MUCH AS I APPRECIATE THE HEARTWARMING NATURE OF THIS MOMENT, CAN YOU PLEASE RESOLVE THIS SITUATION BEFORE THE SPACE-BEAR DECIDES TO STOP WAITING?”

Twilight nodded once in Wesker’s direction and set about using her magic to return the Ursa to the cave from which it had come. Firstly by putting it to sleep, then by hovering it through a cattle-shed with a giant bottle of milk and finally straight back into the cave from whence it had stormed out of.

That seemed far easier than it should have been.

Correct. But the possibly concussed Wesker wasn’t especially bothered as he painstakingly clambered to his feet and staggered over to the assembled masses, dodging an overturned applecart along the way and picking up one of the fruits as he did so. He caught the tail end of the kafuffle, which was Trixie speaking.

“…that was just a baby?!”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Albert! Are you all right? Oh Celestia you’re bleeding!”

He waved a dismissive hoof in response, “fine. What do you mean that was a baby?”

“Erm, it was an Ursa Minor. Not an Ursa Major and it was just cranky because somebody” she glared at Snails and Snips, “woke it up.”

Trixie and Wesker, with eyebrows in danger of disappearing off their heads, shared an aside glance. Wesker whispering, “you ruined my suit”, ruined this moment.

Spike fidgeted with his claws, “if that’s an Ursa Minor… then what’s an Ursa Major look like?”

Twilight smiled knowingly, “You don’t wanna know.”

Trixie had recovered rather splendidly from her previous shock, “well, you may have defeated an Ursa MINOR but you will never have the jaw-dropping showmanship of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” A puff of smoke erupted from her horn and the showpony scampered away but not before a thrown apple caught her on the back of her head as she face planted on the ground.

“You’re welcome Miss Trixie, feel free to name one of your hideously annoying children after me.”

A vocal growl was all that the citizens of Ponyville heard before the Great and Powerful Trixie exited stage left and everyone was left to survey the relatively minor…

Ha!

…damage to the town, considering a thirty foot bear had rampaged through it. Really it was all superficial damage but still, all present turned their attention to the perpetrators of this minor…

Ha!

…disaster.

“What to do with you two?”

“We’re really sorry we brought an Ursa Minor to town…”

“…but at least we got to see some awesome magic!”

A frown from Twilight greeted the pair and they slumped in defeat, “we deserve whatever punishment you give us.”

“Death?” Everyone gasped in shock and turned to stare at the bloodied Wesker. “Just kidding?”

Albert Wesker and the Uneventful, Non-Dragon Related Day

Author's Note: The Tvtropes page for this fanfic still says 'regular updates'. Erm... oopsies? Sorry I've been so bad at updating for the last... few months. I've just been in a bit of a rut but I feel I owe you a chapter so please enjoy. If you want someone specifically to blame for me inflicting this new chapter on you then please direct your attention to Lunar Scholar on Fanfiction.net who has written a kind of alternate 'My Little Wesker' whereby the whole cast of RE5 go to Equestria. Reading that kind of made me think... Huh, I miss writing Wesker. On a side note, I've always wanted to go to a spa to relax because I'm inherently twitchy and anxious (plus my back is in dreadful condition) but I'm poor.

It went against all basic survival instincts to want to run towards a giant, spiny, fire-breathing lizard but science beckoned for Albert Wesker. Despite his internal promise to himself that he would forgo any attempt to follow around the elements of harmony like a bored, adventure-seeking puppy, there was a niggling voice in the back of his mind saying...

You suck, make me a sandwich!

Not saying that. It was an actual thought, rather than an all too real and persistent reminder of his insanity. What surprised him the most though was not that it demanded to see something new and exciting and catalogue it for the purposes of biology but instead it screamed 'DANGER'.

Of course it's dangerous, it's a dragon! Come on Al, get with the program here.

Well obviously. What bothered him was not the fact that dragons were dangerous but the fact that he even gave a damn. Perhaps he had found a fascination with playing the hero in this cloyingly sweet land. Maybe this was how Chris felt 24/7. He smirked:

I'll save you! I'm a hero! My IQ is room temperature but that's okay because I work out!

It suits you Al, imagine how good you'd look if you bulked up.

That settled the matter, he definitely wasn't going to chase after the 6 ponies as they traversed the mountain. Patience was certainly a virtue and one of the few that Wesker possessed in abundance. The question remained as to what he was going to do in the meantime; he hadn't quite realised just how reliant Ponyville was on their eminent citizens for any kind of entertainment. Everything even mildly exciting that happened appeared to be channelled through one or all of them. Perhaps this was a good thing, could he use this oasis of calm as an opportunity to enjoy a spot of relaxation before things went to hell and there were demon-horses flying in through the windows and everypony had to repel them with brooms and a friendly singsong.

So it was that Wesker eventually found himself in the spa, questioning his sanity but also undeniably feeling the aches and twinges of both farm-work and a fortnight spent in a coma. The two overly keen receptionists/masseuses gave him serious pause for thought however. Despite his qualms, he had ensured that he adhered to extremely strict health regimes in the human world before all this madness and he saw no reason to let that slip.

“Ah sir.” The two earth ponies instantly zipped to his side as he entered the building, the blue mare with the pink mane spoke first, with an accent that Wesker could only define as 'Eastern European' “I'm Lotus Blossum. A lot of stallions would be too embarrassed to come into a glorious place of relaxation such as this, I'm pleased you're above such silliness.”

The pink mare with the blue mane followed on from this, “I am Aloe. We are glad you are secure enough in your masculinity to enjoy such a wondrous experience. What can we do for you today?”

Wesker rolled his eyes, “You can reassure me some more about my sexuality.”

Sarcasm appeared to have been wasted on this occasion, “That's not our regular service but we'd be happy to help.”

“I am sure you are extremely popular with the mares.”

“Being attracted to stallions isn't an indictment on your sense of personal worth.”

Wesker smiled disarmingly, “I will pay you for a massage, please don't speak at any point during it unless absolutely necessary.”

The pair beamed and spoke in perfect unison, “Fantastic! Please make yourself comfortable on one of our massage tables.”

The blond stallion frowned, “Aren't you going to charge me first?”

Lotus Blossum piped up first, “You are Miss Rarity's new friend, no?”

“Well yes I suppose I am, why does that...?”

Aloe followed up, “Then this one is... how you say...on the house.”

“Ah yes, Miss Rarity spoke of you Mr Wesker, all dark and brooding and mysterious.”

“Did she now?”

“Indeed, we won't tell her of your self-doubt with regards to your ability to...”

“That was sarcasm!”

The pair smirked in unison as they led the blond to the massage table but it was only Lotus Blossum who spoke, “Oh no Mr Wesker, you must explain these things more clearly. We in the spa industry are all bimbos and airheads.”

Wesker barked out a laugh as he lay face down, “Very funny. I get the impression I'll need to watch myself around you.”

“Absolutely not Mr Wesker! If you are not totally at ease around us then we are failing miserably at our job, no?”

“I'm afraid 'totally at ease' might be slightly beyond even your talents, Miss Aloe. I'll settle for 'not in pain'.”

Aloe began gently pressing on the blond's back, “Ah yes, I hear you were the hero against the Ursa. This town appreciates what you did.”

He sighed contentedly and replied, his voice a dull hum as he settled into a luxury he had not experienced since before Spencer's death on Earth, “If by 'Hero' you mean, 'pony who got slapped into a wall by a giant space bear' then you would be correct.”

Lotus made a noise of amusement as she prepared to file his hooves. “Humble too. Ponyville needs brave stallions like you.” Initially he tried to turn aside the pedicure but eventually decided to allow it. Mainly because it was free and he was a sucker for a bargain.

You are really impressing me with your masculinity here Al.

Masculinity was for the ugly and uncomfortable. Right now he had absolutely no qualms with a spa day, however much it pricked his ego. After all the madness he had experienced, it was nice to know that there were constants between this world and the one he had left behind.

The pressure was being incrementally increased on his aching back and he groaned as he felt it unknot slightly.

“Ah, you are so tense. How can a stallion in such good shape allow himself to become such a mess?”

“I bet you say that to all your clients Miss Aloe. Also did you hear the detail some 20 seconds ago when I stated I got slapped into a wall by a giant space bear? The whole town seems to have glossed over that detail very quickly. And the fact there's a dragon belching smoke on the mountainside nearby.”

Lotus raised an eyebrow to Aloe, “I told you it was a dragon.”

Wesker was torn between rage and relaxation, “Why exactly is everypony so apathetic about all the madness around here?”

Aloe spoke this time, “Ours is a fantastical world Mr Wesker, you have to learn to roll with it or be left trailing in its wake.”

He ignored the bitter rebuke burning in his throat and allowed himself to relax slightly more under the pink mare's hooves, “I find myself trying very hard to do so Miss Aloe. Generally it involves a lot of pain. And parties.”

“Well, is something being done about this dragon at least?”

“Yes, Princess Celestia sent 6 unarmed mares to have a friendly conversation with it.”

Lotus chimed in, “I take it you disapprove of the diplomatic route.”

He groaned as he heard his spine crack, “On the contrary, I think diplomacy is a remarkably useful tool but I feel there are some situations where a backup plan is necessary. Such as when you're interacting with a potentially hostile dragon.”

“Ah then why did they not bring you? You seem to be able to handle yourself.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yes and also if I get hit into a hard,flat surface by 3 more mythical creatures then I get the next one for free.” Wesker sighed, “I wasn't invited and frankly I could do without the hassle.”

“Do you not worry about their safety?”

“Are you joking Miss Aloe? They'll probably become best friends with it and I'll have to attend a party in its honour.”

“You seem very sure of yourself Mr Wesker, unblinking in the face of peril.”

Wesker half-smirked, “Do you flirt this outrageously with everypony you massage or am I just lucky today?”

A touch more pressure was added, “Tut-tut Mr Wesker, you're mistaking a calculated skill like full-body massage for something intimate. I only like you as a friend.”

He chuckled deeply, “Duly noted.”

“Feel free to drift off, by the way, don't feel obligated to stay awake just to exchange chit-chat with us.”

“There's no danger of that Miss Blossum, I really have no intention of falling asleep right now. Relaxation is one thing but sleep in the middle of the day is quite another.”

Aloe tutted once more, “No wonder you are so tense, you can't even bring yourself to nap. When was the last time you allowed yourself a chance like this to unwind? You seem so intense and serious all the time.”

“A fair few years... and it suits me, Miss Aloe.” There was a brief pause as he allowed himself to melt into the massage table a little more, “I used to unwind by jogging but I ended up giving that up after a while.”

“Too much fun?”

He snorted amusedly, “Not quite.”

Truth be told, he'd given it up because he'd always ended up at the same place whenever he left his US hideout, Birkin's grave. It was difficult enough trying to acquire power and bring down Umbrella covertly without sentimentality sticking to him like tar. It was made even more ridiculous by the fact that William Birkin had died miles away as a gelatinous blob in the ruins of Raccoon City, there wasn't even a body in the grave but still, his feet had always taken him there.

The two spa ponies picked up on the silence of the blond and carried on their work without talking and despite his earlier insistence, Wesker eventually drifted off into sleep and into another memory...

Albert Wesker and the Long Goodbye

Author's Note: Hello! A serious chapter for a serious world (also it's fairly short... sorry) Birkin says 'fuck' a lot. Please forgive him he means well. Let me know what you think don't be too mean though as it makes me sad, just be an acceptable level of mean. Also forgive the fact that this is 100% Resident Evil and 0% ponies, I almost feel bad uploading this chapter to a site about MLP fanfic. There will be ponies soon I promise. It also ends pretty abruptly too but that's mainly for effect. Will do my best to answer any questions posed in the comments too as I feel like I've been really negligent towards this story and I'm worried the recent quality has dropped off. I promise I worked super hard on this chapter. Beta'd by JasonTaylorBlogs.

Albert Wesker had started to become accustomed to awakening in the pitch black. It certainly felt much more familiar and welcoming than foreboding nothingness had any right to be. On this particular occasion, however, the lack of a presence beside him was what struck him first.

“Miss Dark? Are you there?”

A pregnant pause followed.

“Did I fall asleep?”

Another period of silence followed this question and Wesker rolled his eyes at the stupidity of his own enquiry. “Is it just this tedium until I awake?”

No dream-mist creature greeted him, but a scene was gradually illuminating before his eyes, much to his growing unease.

“Playing hard to get? How tiresome...”

What greeted the former Umbrella employee was himself on a (for the time) high-tech satellite phone. Within seconds, the real Wesker recognised the scenario that was about to unfold, and his stony expression and set jaw matched those of his dream counterpart. The darkened control centre around them flickered dully, the LED displays shining their eerie green glow and somehow making the blond look more tired and aged than his indifferent mask would ever reveal.

“You're not listening to me, Will.”

For the first time in eleven years, Wesker heard the voice of his old comrade William Birkin once more, this time ringing ethereally in his ears, but all it did was fill him with a heavy sense of foreboding as his friend's sharp tones echoed in his mind and the drama inevitably played out.

“I'm listening fine, Al, I just don't agree.”

The false Wesker sighed in exasperation, “'Agree' implies that I was expressing an opinion; I am simply stating a fact. Take note of what I am saying: you will die if you continue waiting for the US government to retrieve the G-Virus. Leave it behind and rebuild. You cannot do a thing if you are dead. Umbrella doesn’t specifically want you dead; they just don't care if they mow you down to get to your research. Take that opportunity to leave.”

Birkin growled in frustration, “You know how much graft went into this project! You saw what we did to Lisa Trevor! I am holding the secret to biological immortality in my hand right now and you want me to toss it away? To put it back in the care of that fucker, Spencer? Never! I refuse to let that happen.”

Dream Wesker raked a hand through his increasingly non-perfect hair in total annoyance, but his tone remained even, “So you'll die for immortality? Ironic, don't you think?”

“Goddamn it, Al, don't go all Caitlin on me. This isn't a social experiment; this isn't psychology; it's not another chance to show off how fucking clever you are!”

A deathly silence followed Birkin's remark. All that could be heard was Wesker's gentle, measured breaths and the contrast of Birkin's ragged, gulps of air.

Demonic red eyes flashed behind mirrored lenses as a phone was gripped tightly, “You know me better than anyone, Will. You'll know that I'm serious when I say ‘don't ever mention her again.’”

“Are you angry Al? Are you actually showing human emotions? Wow!” Birkin scoffed sarcastically. “And all it took was me mentioning the woman you killed and the idea of the G-Virus slipping through your fingers! I should've known.”

“BIRKIN!” the inhuman screech that emanated from the blond was even more unnerving over a decade later in third person to himself than it must have been to the mousy brunette at the time, and the dream Wesker was visibly shaking even as he composed itself. “If I merely wanted to take the G-Virus, I would just tear it from the corpse of whoever owned it at the time. Regardless of whether that person was you or the USS members who had just murdered you.”

Birkin began to interrupt but was spoken over smoothly and effortlessly, “You did me a great favour by providing me with the progenitor virus; I owe my ascension above humanity to you, and you would be a valuable asset in any future endeavours, regardless of whether or not you have a G-Virus sample.”

An audibly shaken Birkin let out a deep breath. “I... I can't. I thought you would understand.”

Wesker typed rapidly on the 3rd-Organisation-provided equipment to confirm what he already knew. “I understand that Umbrella's Security Service is a short time away, infinitely closer than any government escort. I know they have pinpointed your location and established surveillance. You cannot survive this scenario with the G-Virus and your life. If you are half as intelligent as you pretend to be, you'll choose your life.”

“And you know this how?”

Despite the situation, Wesker half-smirked, “All this time together and now is when you begin to doubt my resourcefulness?”

The tired amusement in William Birkin's voice was prevalent throughout his response, “What can I say? I was worried dying might have taken the wind out of your sails.”

A quiet huff of mirth followed, “Not a chance, Will. I have landed on my feet, and Umbrella's combat data and bio-weapon research has landed me a high-ranking position here at the Organisation. And there's room for another head researcher...”

Only suspicion met the tentative offer, “And the G-virus?”

“Can be replicated. Can be taken back from Umbrella. It is not as essential as the man who perfected it. God-damn it Will, listen to yourself. You're obsessed! What's the difference between you and James Marcus right now?”

“I'm alive.”

“For how much longer? When you cling to a test tube as death approaches? They have their orders: retrieve the sample by any means necessary. You don't have to die today...we can rebuild.”

Birkin's voice was sad and low now; no longer the pitched whine that had previously erupted from him, “No... We can't. Years went into this, Al. Years we don't have anymore. I'm not the nihilist you are; humanity does have a future, and I'm looking at it right now. The G-Virus has the potential to change the world for the better, and I'm not putting that kind of power in the pocket of someone like Spencer. I have a duty.”

“Let's talk about your duty. Do you not have a duty to your wife and child?”

“Al... Don't you dare…”

“I certainly do dare. Logic appears to have flown over your head by a sizeable distance, so perhaps I need to break form and appeal to your emotions. You cannot choose the G-Virus over your own family. Surely not you Birkin.” Even now, the real Wesker saw the irony and desperation of an unabashed sociopath attempting to appeal to anyone's moral compass.

Birkin could tell Wesker's heart wasn't really in his argument and cut through it with laser precision. “Don't even talk about Sherry and Annette; I know Annette understands how vital the G-Virus is, and Sherry...” There was another heavy pause, “I know she deserves the better world that it can provide her.” Then Will faltered for a moment, “Can you promise me one thing though, Al?”

“I'm loathe to blindly agree to promises, and how much is my word really worth to you at the moment, Will?”

“Everything when it comes to this...” Wesker could hear him swallow nervously at the other end of the phone. “If I die...promise me you'll keep Sherry safe and out of this whole mess. Don't let her become a bargaining chip for Umbrella, or worse... an experiment. Promise me.”

“I...”

“Promise me! Don't involve her in these fucking games! Let her live a normal, happy life. That's all that matters.”

The dream Wesker pressed a gloved hand to his temple and realised the losing battle he was fighting. “I promise, Will. I'll do everything I can to keep her out of it.”

A relieved sigh echoed through the blond's ears, “Thank you, Al.” His sharp ears picked up a clink as Birkin apparently turned the G-Virus sample he was holding in his hand and appeared to momentarily forget he wasn't alone, “It's sheer perfection. My precious G-virus. No one will ever take you away from me.”

“Will?”

Whatever reply Birkin had planned went unsaid as the phone was thrown down unceremoniously, left on as Wesker had to strain to hear his best and only friend's final moments, both muffled and faint.

An unknown voice was the first to be made out, “There he is!”

Then Birkin responded with something that Wesker couldn't quite make out before the first voice spoke once more, “We're here for the G-Virus sample.”

“Sorry, but I won't just hand over my life's work.”

Those were William Birkin's true last words as the smashing of glass and the echoing of machine gun fire followed this statement.

“Will? Will! Answer me!”

“Stop, you might hit the sample!”

Wesker felt tightness in his chest as he continued talking into the void, “Will?”

“That's it, all right. Move out.”

“Will! Answer this fucking phone!” Wesker growled with uncharacteristic fury as he pressed the receiver more forcefully into his ear to pick up any trace response.

“William! Oh my, hold on darling, I'm taking care of that bullet wound first, stay here!”

Wesker carried on listening to the grotesque pantomime as he heard Annette's footsteps go further and further away from the phone. Then unnerving silence, until an incredibly loud and monstrous roar caused the blond to jerk his head away from the device in his hand, “Don't tell me... Please say you didn't...” All communication then instantly ceased as though the phone had suddenly been put out of commission and Wesker slowly lowered the phone from his ear.

There was a moment of silence as the black-clad scientist steepled his fingers and bowed his head low as though praying; though the real Wesker could distinctly recall that he was not doing so.

Within seconds, his head had arisen and there was no emotion on his immaculate face. Cracking his knuckles, he pressed a few keys on the keyboard in front of him and the visage of a female of Asian descent appeared before him on screen.

“Miss Wong...” he paused for effect as he spread his gloved hands disarmingly, “I have an assignment for you.”

Albert Wesker and the Strain

A/N: Ermmmmm… Hello? It’s been a while right? Like two years-ish? My bad. Mainly this shows how much I’m willing to procrastinate when I’m supposed to be making history notes. I’ll probably begin accelerating the story a lot faster than I was before when I used writing this story as a way to relax. Peace n love. Please forgive any slopping writing, I haven’t written much besides academic stuff in the last couple years. Also as a way of explaining how the story’s gone, the spa scene was used as a device to make Wesker fall asleep in the middle of the day so he could have the flashback. Pretty much just that.

Sleep released Wesker instantaneously. No asides or interrogation from Dark, no chance to muse on the memory of his friend being reborn as a hideous monstrosity. Just slightly scented and oiled consciousness.

“Ahhh!”

He bolted upright, prompting a similar verbal outburst from the earth ponies currently attempting to ease his tension which once again startled the blond’s unprepared psyche and led to another…

“Ahhh!”

The pink pony was the first to respond, “Mr Wesker, I believe you said something about sleep in the middle of the day? Tut tut, how lazy must we be today?”

Wesker composed himself, “Miss Aloe, you are mistaken. I wasn’t asleep.” At her patronising sceptical look he faltered briefly, “I like to exclaim every so often during massages. Helps keep everyo...pony on their toes… hooves.” A disdainful arch of an eyebrow was the only response; this must be what other people felt like talking to himself, “Fine, I fell asleep. I don’t believe that’s a crime.”

“Indeed not, Mr Wesker.” Lotus Blossom picked up where her spa partner had left off, “not to cast further aspersions on your sexuality, but you mentioned a stallion named “Will” quite a lot in your sleep.”

An indifferent mask slipped onto Wesker’s expression as smoothly and comfortably as an old coat, “An old friend who died a very foolish death. Nothing to concern yourself with.” He leapt off the massage table, eager to flee. “Thank you for your assistance. I don’t want to take up anymore of your time.”

He left without looking back, ignoring the concerned calls ringing out behind him.

Geez Al, rude much? Also when you say ‘foolish death’ I assume you mean ‘super cool death’ right?

He ignored Joy resolutely. The flashback he’d been exposed to had put him in a foul mood. Was Dark actually attempting to understand anything about him anymore, or just trying to torment him with all his failures and unpleasant memories?

I don’t think she could show you all your unpleasant memories, that’d take yeeeeeeaaaaars. Just a greatest hits compilation I think.

Reassuring. Maybe he’d consider getting the DVD.

All about Blu-ray nowadays, Al.

Marvellous.

Now restless and tenser than before he’d gone to the spa, he stalked towards the mountain, deciding that foolish action in assisting his associates was infinitely more desirable than brooding apathy. To his surprise and chagrin, however, it appeared as though his assistance wouldn’t be required, as he noticed the Mane 6 descending entering Ponyville chatting happily and animatedly amongst themselves.

Wow Al… do you feel superfluous or what??

Yes. Thanks for pointing it out. Very much appreciated.

‘What did you do today Al?’ ‘Oh not much just got a massage and had a bad dream, yourself?’ ‘Oh same nothing major just slew a GODDAMN DRAGON!’

Wesker decided to wholeheartedly ignore his persistent inner demon and instead focus on conversing with the triumphant ponies. “Welcome back. I can only assume from the lack of smoke and the fact that none of you are dead that you succeeded.” Vigorous smiles and nods confirmed that this was the case, “Which one of you struck the killing blow? Did any of you get a picture? It would be nice to know which one of you I will get the honour of referring to as ‘Dragonslayer’. Except Miss Rainbow.”

Confusion reigned as they all attempted to process Wesker’s statement. Eventually it was Twilight Sparkle who responded, “Erm… We didn’t kill the dragon, Albert. I’m surprised you didn’t see it fly away.”

I was too busy having my nails done and napping, tee hee hee.

“Ah no I’m afraid I was otherwise occupied at the time. Some of us have more pressing concerns than watching the skies 24/7. You seem unharmed though, what kind of battle was it then?”

‘I swear to God’ Wesker thought, ‘if they’re about to say they defeated it with the power of friendship and kindness then I’m going to scream.’

Rainbow Dash looked sheepish, “I kinda kicked him.”

“Which was a mistake and we were very sorry about it.” Fluttershy interjected over a reluctantly nodding rainbow-coloured Pegasus. “But once we spoke to him, he realised that he was harming the health of the ponies of Ponyville and he left to go somewhere less populated. He was a nice dragon in the end.”

“Ahhh!” Wesker placed two hooves either side of his head as the recipients of his scorn shared worried glances, “Really??” He was dangerously close to the end of his tether with this world’s nonsense. “That’s what happened?? You used diplomacy on a giant, fire-breathing lizard and it worked. It actually worked. You talked your problems out with a monster and everything is fine.” He heaved a long, heavy sigh and looked up to the sky.

Applejack gave him a sidelong glance, “You okay, Al?”

“No. Absolutely not.” The tether snapped. He waved a hoof generally around himself to indicate his surroundings, “This isn’t what real life is. Real life is not smiles and candy and wonder.”

“I love candy! Are you saying you have candy??”

“Shush, Miss Pinkie, the adults are ranting.” He began rubbing small circles along his temples, “Real life is pain, real life is suffering, real life is about elevating yourself above your peers and casting down those who would try to halt your progress. Real life adheres to the laws of nature: the most adaptable survive and those who are afraid or unwilling to seize opportunity die out.” Six wide mouths hung open in front of him as he continued, “You cooperate when you have to but when the time comes you know the only true beneficiary is yourself! You don’t negotiate with monsters! You don’t defeat evil with the power of friendship!” Wesker had become dimly aware of the size of the hole he was digging for himself but by this point he didn’t even care.

“Erm…”

“Let me finish, Miss Rarity. I have a lot of anger to vent and a very limited timespan.” With a suddenness so rapid it was lucky he didn’t contract whiplash he smiled serenely, causing his impromptu audience to take a simultaneous, unconscious step backwards, “Thankfully I’ve come a simple, logical conclusion.” He chuckled, “None of this is real. I’m in my own personal hell. I understand it now.”

“Albert…” Twilight looked at him with more than a little concern etched into her features, “What are you saying?”

“It makes perfect sense Miss Sparkle. I’m in a saccharine world of sunshine and rainbows, where friendship is the ultimate power and every issue can be solved with a cup of tea and a friendly chat. I get shown the visions of my past and have to provide commentary and analysis and all I see is death and misery and despair, but it was a world where I was above and beyond all others.”

Apart from two people with a rocket launcher and a spare volcano handy, I guess, Al.

Wesker chose to ignore Joy as his scenario began to feel less and less tangible. “A world where I held my own fate and the fate of all others in the palm of my hand. So once I exited it…” The blond earth pony gritted his teeth, “I was punished for daring to reach beyond my allocation. After all, what use am I in a world where your value is based upon your ability to make friends?” He barked out a savage laugh, “I sacrificed my very being and climbed to the top of my tower on a pile of corpses. I had no use for friends, only temporary allies.”

Somewhere in a dim corner of his brain he was screaming at himself for breaking the façade and for blurting out information in such a moronic, careless fashion, but the greater part of him wanted it to be over. Having to relive his only friends’ violent deaths, one at his own hands and one at the hands of Umbrella, had taken its inevitable toll. Now all he wished was to finally call out whatever cosmic force or deity had trapped him here and return to dissolving in molten rock.

The ludicrousness of his situation had finally become too much.

“But here I am.” He whipped off his glasses and tossed them aside, eliciting gasps from his companions as they saw his demonic pupils, “a mutant reborn with no use but ploughing a field.” He smirked condescendingly at Applejack, “Or playing soccer.” He redirected his scornful glare towards a frozen Rainbow Dash before staring at each of the Mane 6 in turn, “or waiting for my faithful comrades to DIPLOMATICALLY DISCUSS MATTERS WITH A FLESH EATING DRAGON!!”

He gently smoothed his frazzled hair and wiped the flecks of spittle that had formed at the corners of his mouth, “And for that reason I have made an executive decision.” A blank indifference had one more slowly imposed itself on the blonde’s features, “I am going to pick a direction away from this town, and I am going to walk until I wake up from this unrelenting nightmare. I’m not going to make pancakes or talk to anyone about my feelings. I’m not going to one of Miss Pinkie’s world-famous ‘Sorry to Hear You Had a Nervous Breakdown’ parties. I’m going to call this world’s bluff and I’m going to do so immediately. If I’m trapped in a prison then the bars can only stretch so far, am I right? It’s been an unmitigated pleasure, ladies. Please don’t follow me, or I will take very affirmative and potentially very violent action.”

And with that, Albert Wesker left six absolutely stupefied mares standing completely stock still behind him as he turned and began walking away from Ponyville towards whatever the future decided to fling at him.

Judging by how everything else had gone... no doubt it was going to be wholly unpleasant.

Albert Wesker and the Long Walk

A/N: More like ‘Iamdanny0 and the Why Did I Insist on This Format for All My Chapter Titles’ am I right? It’s good to be back, this fic and where I planned on taking it has been on my mind for the last year so I’m glad to be finally doing it. As always I love you and your feedback. And your adorable little faces. Beta’d by Setokaiva.

Three things occurred to Wesker as he stomped heatedly across Ponyville in an attempt to free himself from this unending, sugary-sweet hell.

Firstly, he had irredeemably and irrevocably severed ties with his so-called ‘friends’ in this world. Words had been said that shed far too much light on his true character and past misdeeds. Hopefully his threat of violence had deterred them from chasing after him with the diplomacy cake and friendship biscuits.

Huh. Never realised how much I wished friendship biscuits were a thing until right now.

Secondly, Ponyville was actually far bigger than he thought it was. This not only made it difficult to maintain his decidedly foul mood and fierce scowl for the entire duration of his journey when smooth indifference was his default state, but also led quite neatly into his third realization…

“Good afternoon, neighbour! If you keep glowering like that the wind might change and your face will stay that way!”

Everyone in this town was exceptionally chatty.

Wesker turned the full force of his glare onto the obstacle in his path. “Get out of the way.”

The green earth pony mare with a blond mane made a noise that could only be described as ‘eep’, and obliged.

“Thank you.”

He continued walking and got around ten feet before he was interrupted once more.

“Howdy friend, fine weather we’re having.”

“I don’t care about your insipid nonsense! Stop talking to me.” Wesker’s snarling retort served its purpose and got the beige earth pony out of his way.

Ah, behold the truly terrifying predator, yapping at horses. How the mighty have fallen, Albert.

Ah, Critical was here now… fantastic. He continued walking, desperately trying to ignore all the ponies passing through the market square. Was this a village or a city? Maybe he was just walking slowly.

“Did ya hear, friend? Those fancy mares managed to persuade that dang ol’ dragon to take up shop somewhere else. Just goes to show ya that when ya try to understand somepony…”

Wesker grabbed the most recent violator of his sanity and held him aloft, staring eye to eye with the chestnut brown stallion with a black mane. “Tell me something, friend. Do I exude an aura of friendliness and approachability?”

“Erm… well maybe not on the outside, friend.” He shrugged and kicked his dangling hooves slightly for emphasis, “but I bet deep down you’re just lookin’ for…”

“Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to choke to death?” Wesker interrupted before pausing briefly. “Friend.”

“Not particularly, friend. Though I remember my grandpappy once ate two apples at once and I thought to myself… Urk!”

“As fascinating as your grandfather’s apple story may well be, I’ve realised you’re slightly too dense for intimidation, so instead I’m going to extradite myself from this conversation immediately.”

He lowered the stallion to the ground and stalked off without looking behind him, his eye only twitching slightly when he heard the call behind him. “Okay now, y’all have a good one, y’hear?”

“Golden Harvest’s finest carrots. You sir, the furious looking stallion with the cat eyes and the great hair, can I interest you in some carrots?”

“Absolutely not.” He continued walking before catching himself, “Wait. Actually, yes.”

Munching his carrot as he strolled towards the edge of the universe, Wesker deliberated over the circumstances that had brought him to this ludicrous point of what he laughably called a life. Was this situation avoidable? Did he try hard enough to integrate himself into the community? Was it Dark’s fault for bringing up such unpleasant memories and disturbing his mental state?

Or are you just fundamentally unstable, Albert?

Don’t listen to him, Al. Munch that carrot and think happy thoughts.

“Fine day for a carrot, am I right?”

Wesker halted in his tracks and glanced over disinterestedly at yet another attempt at forcing him into a conversation, this time from a purple mare with a light pink mane. “Are you testing me?”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s just that the sentence you just uttered was the most benign, forgettable attempt at starting a conversation in all of recorded history. I feel like instead of you genuinely trying to chat with me about whether or not the day is in fact nice enough to digest carrots, you were instead trying to erode my sanity and drive me to despair.”

She stared blankly at the former Umbrella scientist, trying to formulate some kind of response as her mouth flapped soundlessly.

“Never mind. I’m going to carry on walking. Have a nice day.”

If he had to choose an upside to his rapidly disappearing sanity, it was probably the fact that he no longer had to pretend to give a damn about hurting ponies’ feelings. It felt tremendously liberating. For some reason, however, he felt slightly wistful. Sentimental, even, if his psyche could handle such an emotion. There was no doubt that a simple farm life was an unmitigated waste of his talents, but when he had briefly decided to immerse himself in it before he had any other option it had been somewhat… calming.

Why not go back, Albert? I’m sure they’d love a psychopath on the farm.

However blunt Cynical was about the scenario, he was right. The severing of ties that he had just undertaken was fairly conclusive. No chance of sheepishly strolling back and pretending that he had just been suffering with a fever for that brief period of time.

Eventually he made it past the market square and the cluster of houses in the centre of Ponyville. Somewhat coincidentally he realised that he was heading the direction of the very farm he had just been musing about.

No offence, Al, but If you turn around and have to walk all the way back through I am going to laugh my ass off.

Not happening. A direction had been picked and he was going to walk in that same direction until his sanity reasserted itself and he woke up in the real world.

Or you die, Albert.

‘Or I die.’ Wesker mused, ‘in which case I may end up in a world which makes a modicum of sense and I won’t have my worth measured by how many friends I can make.’

Friends... That elicited another twinge of something unrecognisable to him. He’d dismissed the idea of having friends outright only a few moments earlier. Wesker sighed heavily. If there was a downside to the erosion of his sanity, it was the erratic nature of his thoughts and emotions. For a very loose definition of the word ‘emotions’.

Fortunately, his mental self-conflagration was brought to an abrupt halt by his arrival at Sweet Apple Acres. As he walked through the rows of fields to a destination which was both incredibly specific and possibly non-existent, he passed a large red earth pony passively and resolutely tending to the cultivated land. Big Macintosh glanced up towards him, eyes questioning.

“I’m just here because I’ve broken through the ceiling of reality. I’ve decided to walk in a straight line and keep going until I exit this false existence.”

“…Eeyup.” Applejack’s brother averted his eyes downwards and continued his work.

“Thank you for understanding.”

I’m glad you put it that way, Albert, otherwise it may have sounded like the insane ramblings of a lunatic.

The smell of freshly tilled soil assaulted his nostrils and a soft breeze brushed against his cheek as he walked resolutely across Sweet Apple Acres. If nothing else, the scenery on his one-way trip to nowhere was absolutely gorgeous.

This thought was not replicated once his steadfast route took him to the outskirts of the Everfree Forest. The dark, foreboding outline of the trees and the subtle rustles and noises just on the edge of his hearing didn’t intimidate or frighten him in the slightest. His real concern with crossing this threshold was that it felt like the final, concrete reaction of the strange second life that had been thrust upon him.

Wesker tilted his head slightly to the side, popping the joints in his neck, before straightening up and running a hoof through his blond mane. No time like the present.

Whack!

Something slapped against the side of his head and he snarled confusedly, eyes darting all around his vicinity before noting the scroll that had just materialised at his feet. He arched a single eyebrow. Someone was trying to get in touch with him? He highly doubted it would have any effect on the decision he was about to make, but he nonetheless decided it was worth reading before stepping into the spooky forest.

Dear Albert,

He smirked. So formal.

I know you told me and my friends not to follow you, but I couldn’t just let you run away. I hope you won’t count this as chasing after you. I’m worried about you, when you shouted about the dragon you sounded…

The smirk disappeared.

Anyway, it sounds like you’ve lived a tough life, Albert, and I can’t even begin to understand. You said some really scary things, but if I’ve learned anything from my time in Ponyville, it’s never to write off a friend.

Wesker had never wanted to roll his eyes more in his entire life, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

I’ve let Princess Luna and Princess Celestia know what happened. When you talked about visions, it sounded strangely familiar. I believe you have the strength to face yourself, even if you’re too proud to share that burden with anyone else. I believe in you, Albert. I’m so worried about him, you weren’t there, Spike, you didn’t see… Are you still writing this down, Spike?? Stop writing!

Your friend,

Twilight Sparkle

Despite himself, Albert Wesker laughed aloud at the ending. No cruelty and no irony… just a genuine laugh at a friend’s folly.

Another jolt of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. That word again.

He looked back at the farm and the distant, indistinct shape of Ponyville itself. Then back to the letter, then to the foreboding forest entrance. Another heaving sigh pushed its way past his lips. He reread the letter again, wanting to, but being unable to scoff at the optimism and ludicrous overvaluation of the idea of friendship.

A small smile flickered unwillingly across his face as he gently rolled the scroll up, before slowly shaking his head and marching into the jaws of the Everfree Forest.

Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off

Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Part I

Author’s Note: This story will now intermingle with actual episodes of the show. I don’t intend for this to become a simple rehash of stuff you’ve already seen. Wesker will be narrating the events from his own unique perspective... may only be on the periphery for some of them and could even change the course of certain episodes. Fingers crossed I do it justice. Enjoy.

Wesker had never really been a ‘morning person’. There were incontrovertible facts in life and one such fact was that the blond had instead always been a ‘night person’, as close to nocturnal without being so. Regardless of this, he had often been forced to awaken early due to endless work calling and he realised he could not maintain the ruse of being the captain of STARS if he slunk around the city at night, so he had reinvented himself as someone who was early to rise and early to bed. Thankfully, he had escaped this tiresome routine through his death and rebirth, not needing sleep much at all and instead working through the nights, grabbing a few hours of rest as his ambition allowed him to. Unfortunately for his tastes and his comfort, farm life meant that he would have to once more adopt an annoyingly regular sleeping pattern, minimising his productivity and generally causing him to loathe the world in general... more so than usual.

Dragging himself from his impromptu bed, Wesker glanced out of the window in order to ascertain what the world was going to throw at him today. He was unsurprised to see yet another gloriously sunny day, with birds chirping in the distance and the generally idyllic scene making him want to release another strain of Uroboros... just to disrupt the irritatingly peaceful nature of Equestria.

Only you could say ‘irritatingly peaceful’ like it’s a normal thing to say, Al

He was a firm believer in adversity strengthening an individual’s resolve and clarity of purpose. A place like this only encouraged sloth, coddled the weak and catered to the simple-minded. Wesker did not simply seek out meaningless challenges, he merely felt that life itself was a struggle and the true strength of a character’s willpower could be ascertained through trials and tribulations. Equestria offered neither and therefore created individuals like... Rainbow Dash, for instance.

Jeez, you’re such a bitch, Al.

The term ‘realist’ was preferable in the former scientist’s eyes but that would have to do. He made himself a quick sandwich and dragged himself outside. Applejack was there to greet him, watching amusedly as he rapidly devoured the consumable in order to allow himself to speak.

“A pleasure to see you, Miss Applejack... is there any work which must be finished at this ungodly hour?
She snorted in response, “Sheesh, you must be a city pony; I’ve been up for hours. You just got outta bed late and now you’re pretendin’ like you just achieved somethin’.”

Wesker waited patiently for the end of her diatribe, dismissing the notion of getting out of bed ‘late’, it was only eight ‘o’clock in the morning, “Indeed. Is there any work to be done? I am supposed to be seeing Nurse Redheart today.”
She snickered lightly, “Leavin’ a trail of broken hearts, huh Al?”

He let out a long-suffering sigh and rolled his eyes, “Possibly... or I am going to receive medical care. Considering the fact I was in hospital yesterday, I would suggest the latter is far more probable.” A knowing smirk was the orange earth pony’s only answer; how exacerbating, Birkin had been exactly the same, unwilling or unable to accept that he had little to no interest in romantic pursuits.

Indeed, I am sure you remember what happened the last time you indulged in such idle fancies, Albert...

The blond stallion had to repress an atypical full-body shudder at the memories that evoked and swiftly allowed Applejack to divert his attention as she gave an actual reply to his earlier enquiry, “Nah, you’re free to woo the nurse all you want, me and Big Macintosh have got it covered.”

As though summoned by his name, the large, red Stallion rounded the corner of the farmhouse pulling a colossal cartload of freshly picked apples. He gave a cursory nod to Wesker and an inquisitive look at Applejack, which triggered the blond mare into action.

“Right, we’re gonna take these to the barn, see ya later Al.”

He returned the farewell and trudged off towards the library. Miss Twilight still had his books and he wished to reclaim them; he also had the second meeting with Miss Redheart to contend with. Assumptions were dangerous little things but if he had to make one then he would guess that she would merely be testing the capabilities of his new body.

Huh, sounds dirty. Maybe Applejack was onto something Al?

It was like having a tiny William Birkin behind his frontal lobe. Wesker wasn’t sure whether it was nostalgically bearable or incredibly infuriating; either way, it was discarded from his thought process and he set off towards his errant saddlebag and the always enjoyable company of Miss Sparkle.

Will would probably have made some sort of crude joke involving genitalia at this point. I won’t. Sorry to disappoint, Al.

Ignored. A thousand times ignored.

You’re no fun.

With only the chattering of Joy to keep him company on the relatively long walk to the Ponyville library, it was with no small amount of relief that he finally arrived at the logic defying structure and banged (a touch too enthusiastically) on the solid wooden door. The inanimate victim of his boisterous knocking opened to reveal Miss Sparkle herself, rather than her dragon assistant; he allowed the purple unicorn a thin smile.

Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.

“Gah!”

Twilight gave the blond a baffled look, “Are you okay Albert? Did I startle you?”

Wesker ran a hoof through his mane whilst feeling both mortified and rather glad that she had provided a pre-packaged excuse for him to seize upon, “Yes, Miss Sparkle. My mind was elsewhere...” He smirked faintly, “Be grateful that it was not a repeat of the infamous balloon incident.”

She laughed and happily waved him inside, “True, though at least you looked surprised rather than bloodthirsty.”

Grimacing as soon as the mare’s back was turned he decided to do something he promised himself that he would never do. Barter with the voices.

Joy. No more.

Fine, I won’t do it again, Al... It was funny though.

No comment. Twilight turned to face him once he had stepped inside, “I’m guessing you’re here for all the books you left behind, huh?”

Pre-emptive reasoning? His respect for the lavender unicorn grew exponentially; she was truly unique amongst the other ponies he had met in this backwards village, “Quite. I have found myself somewhat careless recently, my thanks for safeguarding them.”

She smiled, “Of course, Albert. Even if you weren’t my friend, I couldn’t allow books to be damaged.” Giggling lightly at her own joke, she slowly paced towards Wesker’s saddlebag, unaware of the brief but sizable reaction the blond had experienced upon hearing the word ‘friend’, “What have you got planned for today, Albert?”

He shrugged off his surprise and traced her footsteps indolently, stopping outside of what he would consider to be her ‘personal space’, “I have an appointment with Miss Redheart to attend but besides that the rest of the day is my own to do what I wish with it.” A smirk crossed his lips as Twilight turned and levitated the saddlebag of hardbacks towards Wesker, “I believe I may read.”

She grinned in return, “I can’t think of many better ways to spend a day, especially a beautiful day like today.”

The former Scientist snorted with a trace of contemptuous disagreement, “I find my productivity is much increased on dark, rainy nights, the sunshine just encourages me to be idle.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow, “You? Idle? I don’t think so.”

He gave the slightest hint of a smile, “More idle than usual then, dear heart.” Hefting the heavy saddlebag to ensure its weight was evenly distributed; he set off, “Goodbye Miss Sparkle, I hope to see you soon.”

She beamed and waved, “Same applies, Albert.” With that the door was shut via a purple cloud of magic and Wesker continued on his way towards the hospital. Before he could do that, however, he was passed by a most unusually clothed Pinkie Pie.

“I may regret asking this, Miss Pinkie, but why are you dressed like that?”

The hyperactive pink earth pony was wearing a pair of comedy ‘swirly lens’ glasses, complete with fake nose and moustache, not to mention a fake arrow going ‘through’ her head and a party popper affixed firmly to her lips. The latter caused a high pitched noise to emit every time she breathed outwards. “Hey, Ally. What’s going down in Hoovetown?”
Mentally shaking himself, he attempted valiantly to maintain a conversation, “Not much, Miss Pinkie. May I enquire as to the nature of your...” He struggled to find a suitable word, “...outfit?”

She momentarily looked baffled, as though Wesker were the one profusely clad in novelty items, luckily for the blond pony’s sanity she made a noise of realisation, “Oh, this stuff? I’m just going to see Rainbow Dash and these are all part of some awesome pranks I’ve got lined up for us to pull.”

That made sense... Insofar as the light pink pony with the dark pink mane ever made sense. “I see... Have fun then, Miss Pinkie. Do pass on my regards to Rainbow.”

“Will do Ally.” Wesker couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief as she departed, he had thought that people like Birkin and Irving had been energetic, but they had nothing on Pinkie Pie. Her diet of sugar, sugar and more sugar and the fact that she lived within a confectionary making facility both went a long way towards explaining that though.

Regardless, after a relaxing but ultimately stagnant walk through Ponyville he found himself within touching distance of the hospital doors. Before he could actually make contact with the metallic entrance, it burst open to reveal a beaming Nurse Redheart who hooked a foreleg around Wesker’s and dragged the startled genius inside.

Before he could even demand an explanation, the medical professional began chattering eagerly, “I’ve been so excited waiting for you to come back, especially since you can offer insight and analysis. Don’t worry; I won’t be keeping you long, just a few more basic tests to see just how biologically advanced you really are.”

It was difficult not to preen slightly when someone referred to you as ‘biologically advanced’, the fact that it was true and not mere flattery did nothing to dampen the smirk that appeared on Wesker’s face. “Well, let’s hope the results match your anticipation.”

She nodded enthusiastically and led him back through the sterile, white corridors he had seen only the day before and seated him upon the very bed which had contained him after his... accident. Then she was all business once more, “Okay, I’ll need another blood sample. Judging by the preliminary tests I’ve done, I’m guessing the pinprick from the last extraction has completely healed, right?” Wesker nodded once. “Have you experienced any differences in your health? Increased or decreased energy?” He shook his head, causing a frenzy of scribbling in the earth pony’s notebook. “I see.” She zipped over to another set of notes that she had previously made, “Hmm, I also have a theory as to one of the side-effects of your regeneration.”

Wesker arched an eyebrow, “A positive side effect, I hope?”

She smiled in response, “Of course. I believe that every time an injury which draws blood is caused to your skin, the epidermis which replaces the last layer becomes stronger and heals more rapidly each time it is replaced... with a limit, of course.”

Wesker nodded slowly before holding out a foreleg, “I assume this can be demonstrated via the blood sample you need to take.”

The pure white mare nodded and slowly drew a syringe of blood from the blond’s arm before waiting for the tiny wound to heal. Once the small pinprick had sealed itself up, a process which drew a great deal of fervent excitement from the nurse, she signalled for Wesker to observe. Once more she tried to pierce the sharp needle through the exact area that she had previously and found it far tougher to pierce the external layer. Redheart beamed up at the talented molecular biologist, “Just as I predicted, fantastic! Now, there are a few more things that....”

The next hour or so was just a blur of poking, stabbing and questions for Albert Wesker but mercifully, she recognised both his boredom and his growing irritation and allowed him to exit the hospital. Leaving the ghastly place, he glanced skyward and noted something entirely bizarre. Pinkie Pie was airborne via the machinations of a crude flying device; she noticed his slack-jawed attention and waved cheerily as she passed, “Hello Ally!”

It was going to be one of those days...

Albert Wesker and... There's a Dragon Living Nearby?!

Albert Wesker and… There’s a Dragon Living Nearby?!

Author’s Note: I will skip ahead a tiny bit in this chapter. Apologies to those who prefer me to cover every little detail but jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez am I going slowly towards the storylines I want to cover. May be a spoiler alert but Wesker will not be directly involved in Dragonshy or Look Before You Sleep because I’m a little bit disaffected with how ineffectual I’ve been in making episodes notably different with ol’ Weskie in. At least enough so to make them unique. Plus, I have an awesome idea for what’ll happen with Al during Look Before You Sleep. So anyways, I love you guys and feel free to leave comments and feedback cos you know… that’s what comments are for. Also, can my beta’s remind me if I’ve updated the last chapter cos I genuinely can’t remember and my brain is mush. Possibly not. Pretty short chapter here because… it’s short.

After yet another, thankfully brief, visit to the hospital and despite Nurse Redheart’s desperate attempt to get him to stay overnight, Wesker only had a pointless bandage placed around his head. Even though the bandage was slightly itchy, his pony compatriots would probably be slightly alarmed if they had seen the wound he had received almost immediately closing of its own accord. Being a god had it’s own perks.

Back onto being a deity, Albert? It ended so well last time.

The blond shifted on the Apple’s sofa uneasily and refused to acknowledge the mental slip for the time being. He’d walked back home alongside Applejack as a remarkably unaffected Ponyville shook off the giant, bloody star bear that had partially demolished their town and returned to their homes, the ones whose homes would require… reconstruction staying at their friends’ abodes.

It just didn’t make sense. How could everyone be so casual about something so… colossal and potentially dangerous? Had everyone in this land had some sort of collective lobotomy? It was easy to develop a superiority complex when everyone else was so infuriatingly inferior. Everyone had offered his or her sympathies and thanks for Wesker’s part in being slapped against a wall, an opportunity Wesker had used to hand his tattered suit to Rarity with an apologetic grimace. Again, once they saw he was in working order they seemed to wipe the incident from their minds. Still, at least Applejack had something to say about it afterwards so that was probably proof that it had definitely happened and wasn’t just a particularly solid fever dream.

“Phew, you really flew when that critter caught hold of ya!” His disapproving look didn’t serve its intended purpose, “What? You ain’t hurt, I can make fun of ya!” She looked at him sidelong, “Clearly you’re made of some real stern stuff.”

Indeed he was. God material, according to his idle brain. Wesker couldn’t help it. Even knowing how his arrogance had led to his death he couldn’t humble himself. There was no doubt in his mind, truly he was in the highest echelon and these ponies could enjoy their flighty, nothing existence whilst they could. Albert Wesker smirked darkly as he settled down in his makeshift bed. When his time came, he would provide an infinitely more tangible danger than any Griffon or Ursa Minor ever was capable of.

After a refreshingly dreamless sleep (Dark had clearly decided to give him a break for once) he awoke, grabbed and ate an apple on the kitchen counter and found Big Macintosh waiting for him outside. As anyone would expect, Wesker spoke first, “Good morning. I assume the antics of yesterday haven’t affected the fact I have to work today?”

Big Mac smiled knowingly, “Nope.”

“I also assume Applejack told you especially to ensure I didn’t use what happened as an excuse to slack off?”

“Eeyup.”

Wesker frowned, “Does the appearance of a giant space bear startle you even slightly? Nopony else seems even remotely concerned.”

The large red pony shrugged, “Ain’t none of my business. Not to mention that we live right on the edge of the Everfree. All kinds of strange critters around at night.”

“Including giant space bears?”

“Apparently so.” He nodded towards the plough and smiled, “Bet’cha can’t finish ‘fore I do.”

Wesker half-smirked, half-grimaced. “Challenge accepted.”

One might think it would be easy for a super strong, super fast individual to plough a field faster than even the most seasoned farmhand. That was entirely true; the only concern lay in doing so at a slow enough pace to ensure that the farmhand wouldn't suspect that his competitor was in fact an ex-human scientist on a severe power trip.

Well okay, it seemed unlikely that Big Mac would suspect that specifically but if the ex-scientist shot around the field like a firework let loose then he would begin to see that things weren't quite as they seemed. He was quiet but Wesker was a good enough reader of… ponies to realise that the large stallion was anything but stupid. Of course, he was the brighter of the two… as though that weren’t painfully obvious.

Hours seemed to pass as the two tilled the soil for planting but at no point did Wesker tire or have his mind stray from his goal of finishing quickly in a manner that would not direct suspicion towards him. How different this was from the previous time he had worked in the fields; truly his sense had finally been restored. No tantrums over past failures and no nonsensical denial of his true self. Finally he was attuned to this bizarre land and more importantly to what he wanted to achieve.

Of course, as was always the case for him in Equestria, his victory was short lived.

“So my prize for being faster than you is to carry a cartload of apples into town.”

“Eeyup.”

“And I assume my punishment for losing would have been…?”

“Carryin’ a cartload o’ apples into town.”

Wesker sighed, “Hook me up and I’ll go.”

“Eeyup.”

As the former Umbrella operative prepared for the indignity of being attached to an applecart like some sort of donkey, he sniffed the air cautiously, “Can you smell smoke?”

A tentative “Eeyup” was all the reply he received. As Big Mac scanned his surroundings, he eventually pointed a hoof towards the horizon at a large mountain some way in the distance.

High up on this particular mountain, a great deal of black smoke was billowing from a cave entrance straight down into the town of Ponyville and the thick acrid smell had already reached Ponyville. Wesker grazed a hoof across his chin as he set off towards town to get some answers and unfortunately deliver some apples.

Probably a dragon.

He snorted incredulously, what a ridiculous notion. It was almost certainly some kind of fire.

You’ve been here a while Al so you should know but I’m telling you: It’s a dragon. A giant, smoke-belching, fire-breathing beast of a dragon.

Wesker shook his head disbelievingly. It was time to find out what was really going on and as luck would have it, he passed through the park just as Twilight Sparkle was making a dramatic announcement to the concerned masses.

“Don’t worry everypony, all this black smoke is not coming from a fire.”

Told you.

Shut up.

“It’s coming from a dragon!”

Told you.

Shut up! So… there was a giant dragon living within smoking distance of Ponyville. Discovered a day after an ursine creature taller than a house and made of star matter had attacked the town. There went any hope of getting a pony to remember the day before; all the locals really seemed to live in the moment. Wesker couldn’t imagine that changing when ‘the moment’ contained a huge dragon… coughing… smoke onto Ponyville?

To be honest, it hadn’t really been made clear how exactly this dragon was producing enough smoke to almost blot out the town so the reluctant farmhand trudged over to Twilight in order to enquire about what was going on. Her answer and the solution proposed did not exactly fill Wesker with a great deal of confidence.

“It’s snoring smoke? So there’s not an excess of smoke from illness and it’s not being done deliberately and maliciously?”

The purple unicorn nodded unsurely, confused as to Wesker’s reasoning behind this line of questioning, “That’s right.”

“So this dragon is big enough to drown an entire town in smoke whilst asleep?”

“I guess that’s the case…”

“And your solution to this problem is to reason with this dragon?”

“Yes. Hopefully once he realises the negative effect his smoke is having upon the town, he’ll find another, less harmful place to sleep.”

“How certain are you that it won’t just eat you?”

“Erm…”

“For that matter, how certain is Celestia…”

“Princess Celestia!”

Wesker rolled his eyes, “How certain is her royal, majestic, holy highness that it won’t just eat you?”

“I’m sure Princess Celestia wouldn’t put us in unnecessary danger.”

“Miss Sparkle, I know your faith in your mentor is absolute but would you not feel a lot safer if I were to accompany you?”

Don’t you mean accompo…

Don’t you dare.

Twilight smiled, “I appreciate the offer Albert but I was told specifically to take only my fellow elements of harmony with me.”

It was worth a try to see a real dragon but he knew better than to press the issue, “Fair enough Miss Sparkle. I only ask that you proceed with caution, truly you are irreplaceable.”

The blush that Wesker had been aiming for spread across her face like wildfire as she muttered a shy ‘thank you’ and shot off towards her home.

Well well well, if the holders of the elements of harmony were to die at the hands of a dragon…? What would happen to their respective elements? Would they be up for grabs? Free from their usual restrictions of personality? It was certainly a possibility that required further investigation but Wesker was patient, he most definitely would not skulk after them like a cartoon villain.

Tempting though, isn’t it?

Annoyingly so. However, he would wait a day or so for their return before making the same ascent they had. Much to his displeasure, the blond almost knew that the whole farcical situation would be resolved peacefully. They’d probably all join hooves and toast some marshmallows on his fiery breath before he waved them goodbye and rested elsewhere, safe in the knowledge that he’d always have his pony friends safe in his heart wherever he went, no matter what.

Bless. That’s beautiful; I think living here has really changed you for the better.

Shut up.

Truth be told, he was actually somewhat glad that all five elements of harmony would be elsewhere as he delivered his apples. It certainly lowered the chances of any mayhem within the town itself. They truly were trouble magnets of the highest order. He could hardly talk though.

There’s a difference between being a magnet for trouble and actively seeking it out.

Nonsense. He was merely proactive; trouble just took umbrage at that.

As he hummed tunelessly to himself, delivering apples to the locations Big Macintosh had specified, a faint but noticeable pang struck him at the thought of the five ponies he had recently met being eviscerated. This was most certainly unlike him and troubled him greatly throughout his rounds.

Taking off the harness once he had completed the simple and uneventful task, he stretched and popped the joints in his neck whilst contemplating the zigzagging nature of his thoughts so far today.

Unfortunately, the place he had decided to do this was right outside the hospital and a certain medical pony had spotted him as he leaned against the wall.

“Ah, Mr Wesker. Finished working for today?” Before he could even answer, Nurse Redheart wrapped a hoof around his startled shoulders, “Then you should come see the results of your latest tests!”

He groaned as he was dragged back towards the hospital. Being a god certainly had its flaws.