Crash, Bang, Boom, Creak

by VX

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 811

What would happen if the narrator gone mad? I mean, he got so lonely after Stanley left...

I mean, what's to say that I don't have a mind of my own! I deserve some form of entertainment! I deserve recognition! I'm tired of playing by everyone's rules, I want to be me!

For Stanley.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-30 15:40:04 UTC

Chapter 1

Creak, thud, crash, bang.

Twilight sat up on her bed, warm sunlight heated her body. Today was going to be a good day, she thought to herself. Today she was going to read that book she always wanted, today she was going to finish up her friendship report. She liked the feeling of having everything in order, so predictable...

Then this happened:

Creek

The bed groaned in discomfort when Twilight shifted her weight. Twilight blushed, maybe she should have not snuck those chips instead of dinner. She brushed it off as a rusty spring, and tried to jump off the bed. Then this happened:

Thud.

Somehow, Twilight managed to get her hind legs caught in the sheets, causing her to trip and land face first into the ground, making a resounding thud noise. This was not her day, and she knew that.

--Maybe it's just because I'm tired?-- she thought, no it was not, but her hard head eness caused her to fail to understand that. She tried to continue on with her day. Not smart.

Continuing with her soon-to-be even worse day, she decided to start her daily routine, the first smart thought since she woke up. She walked down the stairs to her bathroom, as she was walking down the stairs this happened:

Boom.

Down she slipped, crashing down the stairs one by one. Every time she hit a step a bit of her pride was lost. It hurt more than she thought. Many would think that this couldn't of gone worse, but it did. Oh, it did.

She grunted with pain as she tried to get up. Her mane disheveled and pride lost, she attempted to walk but immediately fell back down in pain before she could move the first hoof. She looked to see where the pain was coming from, she found it to be on her hoof and saw the biggest splinter in existence. She deserved it, really. How could she be so oblivious to its existence? It was huge! She must not be very smart.

Twilight used her magic to pry the piece of wood from her hoof, but stopped when she felt immense pain and a piercing sound from within her horn.

Screech!

She beat her head against the floor. She had Hornitis, what a pain, she needed to get a checkup by the doctor. Probably because she is fat. And bad at everything.

She crawled over to the kitchen, probably to get some refreshments, I wouldn't blame her, fat people need the liquids.

She crawled, and crawled, and crawled, and... crawled for what seemed like an eternity, but she finally did it, the small accomplishment was big in her mind because she was a special little pony, isn't she?

In the kitchen, she saw the fridge. She slowly crawled to it. She must be extremely overweight if it tool her this much time to get a drink.

Pulling the handle with extreme effort... she collapsed, and he felt very sick.

Feeling sick now, Twilight the fat started to call for spike to help her up, but she heard something.

Creeeeeek

Crash!

The floor under her broke because of how fat and stupid she is. She fell to the basement, where it was dusty because she was so dumb and forgetful she forgot that TODAY WAS SPRING CLEENING.

Wham!

A solid punch echoed through the basement, as Twilight was hit right in the face. She rubbed her chubby cheek.

"Ow! How did that happe-"

Pow!

She never got to finish because she got his again in the stomach. It shouldn't of hurt, because it was protected by a thick layer of blubber.

"Aah!" Cried Twifat, as she rocketed up not the air, breaking the ceiling to the basement and the roof! She would have to pay a fortune in repairs, maybe if she was smart this wouldn't have happened.

Up, up, and up she went. Passing through the clouds and the atmosphere. It got so cold and no oxygen that she fainted. We can't have that, can we? She plummeted down and awoke from her fat dream she was having. It took shorter to land than usual because of her gross body.

But luckily... Rainbow Dash saved her? Oh no, this is not what was supposed to happen.

"Twilight! We have to get out of here! Somewhere safe!" She yelled over the high wind speeds while holding Twifat.

"What do you mean? What's happening to me? Why am I so plump?!" Screamed Twifat Chocolate Sprinkles.

"The narrator! It's the-" Oh no no no! We can't have some rainbow pony ruining our story! It was already going so well! I do apologize for the rash insults, but I was only just venting!

We can't have that, now do we? I must make this story perfect, for the action! The drama!

For Stanley.