Rescuing Rarity

by Crosis

Rating: teen
Tags: Diamond Dogs, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Rarity, Romance, Adventure, Sex, Discord, Main 6
Length: 19142

When the diamond dogs kidnap Rarity, it's up to Spike to save the day and win her heart. But not all is as it appears, and as things spiral out of control, the gods themselves must intercede to contain the chaos.

The diamond dogs are back and ready for revenge. When Rarity is kidnapped in the dead of night, Spike is the only one who can save her. Should be easy, right? Storm the castle, vanquish the villains, rescue the damsel, win her heart! But nothing is as simple as it sounds, and what should have been a simple plan spirals completely out of control. In the end, the gods themselves will enter the fray to set things right.

Whoever said true love was easy?

Published 2013-11-30 23:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-24 18:27:52 UTC

1. Crime of the Century?

Chapter 1- Crime of the Century?

It was Monday evening, just after ten o’clock in the small town of Ponyville. A cool summer rain had passed through minutes before. The streets were empty and quiet, the town’s residents having retired to their homes early in order to avoid the storm. All decent, law-abiding citizens were safe and secure at home. The only sign of life came from a shadowed alley beside the post office. Three forms were huddled back against the wall, securely hidden from view. They too would have liked nothing more than to retreat to their home and dry off, but first they had some business to take care of. The smallest figure inched its way to the entrance, checking both directions before signaling to the others.

They crept out into the street, and though the crescent moon exposed some of their features, one could only make out the slightest details. They were certainly not ponies, with their hunched backs and large forelegs. They moved in unison, running softly over the damp ground, ducking behind trees and pressing against walls as they moved further into town. Soon enough, they arrived at their destination. The boutique’s lights were off, its windows latched and door securely locked. It mattered little. Their prize was inside, and they would not be deterred.

Two of them laid flat against either side of the door, watching carefully in case anypony happened by. The third knelt beside the keyhole, examining it in the dim moonlight. Reaching up, he carefully pushed one long scraggly nail inside. The stoop was slick with rain, and the night air nipped at his coat and ears. He fiddled with the tumblers, brow furrowed in concentration. His companions were growing nervous, afraid they would have to break inside. Considering the consequences of such an act, that was definitely a last resort. He ignored them, concentrating only on his work. Just one bit at a time. Something gave under his nail. ‘Careful,’ he told himself. ‘Take your time.’

A soft *click* came from the lock, and the leader sighed in relief as the handle turned freely. Waving the lookouts over, he pushed as slowly and quietly as could be. But his foot slipped on the damp stoop, and he fell forwards, shoving the door open wide. Luckily, the hinges were well-oiled, and the door swung silently. Its impact with the wall, however, would be anything but. Before it could hit, the largest figure had reached in and grabbed hold of the handle. The leader shot him a grateful smile, and then beckoned them in. They filed inside, easing the door shut behind them.

They crossed through the workshop and display room without a second glance at the expensive dresses or jewelry. Instead, they headed directly for the living quarters. The fireplace in the lounge contained only cold ashes, and no other candles were lit, but they could see well enough. They ignored the kitchen and the sitting room and snuck further down the hall, each of their steps carefully positioned to avoid any creaking floorboards or random objects. They ducked low to the ground as they passed each window, taking care not to even rustle a single curtain. If anypony had been there to watch, they would insist that somehow these intruders knew exactly where they were going.

They were almost to the stairs when a white object sprang up from the doorway, eyes glowing in the dark. All three figures came to a halt. The cat’s hackles were raised, its tail bushed angrily. It gave a low, steady hiss, as if warning them from advancing further.

The intruders growled right back, baring their teeth and staring holes right through the feline. They hated cats, and if their mission wasn’t of the utmost importance, they’d be doing their very best to strangle it. Well, business before pleasure. One by one, they sidled around it, keeping as far back to the wall as they could. When they finally reached the stairs, the cat gave one more furious hiss and darted back into the living room. Thankful it hadn’t made more noise, they continued up the stairs.

One of them tripped on the landing, and they stood frozen, not even daring to breathe as the thud seemed to echo through the building. A minute stretched to eternity before the sound faded, and with another stern glance at his companion, the leader continued up to the second floor.

They had to be careful now. If their information was correct, there was a second unicorn here. If she woke up too soon and discovered her sister missing, she would doubtlessly fly into a panic and alert everypony she could find. That would take precious time away from their head start, possibly even foiling their getaway. If she stumbled upon them while they were still inside… well, it would only take one loud scream, or one good spell to wake the entire town.

Nerves on edge, he waved his companions on and climbed the last steps. Another hallway, still pitch-black. He tried to remember the directions they’d been given. Two feet until they’d come to a corner. Take a left. Bathroom’s on the left, sister’s room first on the right. Watch for the creaky spot halfway down. Last door on the right. Be careful, the hinges WILL squeak.

He nudged the door open; each tiny noise sounded deafening and made him wince and wait to see if she’d awoken. But the house remained still and silent, and soon the doorway was open. They tiptoed inside, careful not to trip over the circular rug in the room’s center. Eyes squinting in the gloom, they glanced around: mannequins against the window, two large dressers, one complete with a vanity mirror, and a large four-poster bed against the far wall. This must be the bedroom.

But was she in here? Motioning for his companions to stop, the leader leaned in and cocked his head to the side. And there it was: the soft, peaceful breathing of a sleeping mare. Turning back, he gave a quick tug on the bandana tied around his neck. Nodding, the others motioned to the coils of rope slung over their shoulders.

They were ready.

Easing the door shut behind them, they moved over to the bed. The sleeping form turned in her sleep, and they stopped dead in their tracks, breaths held nervously. When her breathing evened out they advanced, two stopping on either side of the bed as the third took up position behind the headboard.

They looked down at the sleeping unicorn. White fur, a curly violet mane. Yep, that was her alright. Luckily for them, a sleep mask was fitted snugly over her eyes. Even if she awoke, they’d have a few precious seconds before she’d realize what was happening.

The leader motioned for them to wait. Reaching into his vest, he withdrew a long scroll and quickly read over their instructions once more. This had to be done right, and their client had given very specific directions for how everything was to proceed.

Satisfied, he tucked the scroll away and signaled the other two. They each grabbed hold of one corner of the blanket and lifted it slowly, making sure that no part brushed against her until it was fully pulled away. The unicorn shivered, her thin nightdress doing little to ward off the cold night air. Letting the blanket fall to the floor, the three figures leaned over her. Their eyes met; the leader put a finger to his lips and gave a short nod.

They struck immediately. One took hold of the unicorn’s forelegs while the other grasped her hind ones. The leader clamped a paw over her mouth.

The unicorn awoke immediately, her screams muffled as she tried to break free of their grip. They held her down as she thrashed and fought, but her struggles soon weakened, and she lay still on the bed. Once he was sure that she was finished, the leader reached down and pulled the mask away. Leaning over her, he looked down into her panicked face and grinned.

“Remember us, pony?”

Upon recognizing the diamond dog, the tension seemed to leave Rarity’s body. Her frightened expression changed to shock, then to incredulity. Ignoring Rover’s question, she glanced down to where Fido and Spot were pinning her hooves and fixed the two dogs with a menacing glare.

Keeping a firm hold on their captive, Spot and Fido set to work on binding Rarity’s hooves. The unicorn gasped in pain as the coarse rope bit into her legs, and her horn glowed with light. She was not going to stand for this. If these hooligans thought they could steal into her home and abduct her right out of bed, they were sorely mistaken!

“Ah, ah, ah pony. No using magic on us,” Rover chided. Digging around in his vest pocket, he withdrew a thin circular object. Rarity’s eyes widened. It was a ring, carved of jade and inlaid with crisscrossing lines of some strange silvery metal. Commonly used by police ponies, it would prevent an unruly unicorn from using any magic if placed over their horn. But where on earth had the diamond dogs managed to find one?

Knowing she might not have time to get more than a single spell off, Rarity took aim and tried to blast the ring out of his paw. The small bolt of azure light struck right over his wrist. Rover yelped and jerked back his paw, accidentally tossing the ring over his shoulder. Scowling down at her, he dropped into a crouch and felt around for the object. Not one to waste such an opportunity, Rarity took aim again and blasted him squarely on the nose, making him howl in pain.

Grabbing hold of the ring, Rover straightened up and harshly pulled her close. Rarity tried once more to blast him, but Rover was too quick, leaning off to the side as the blue magic flew past and struck harmlessly against the wall. Knowing she was out of options, she tried to pull her head away, but the grip over her mouth tightened as the dog reached down. The ring slid down to the base of her horn, and the blue glow of her magic fizzled out before vanishing completely.

Rarity shuddered as her powers were cut off. Her eyes squeezed shut, and Rover could feel her clenching her teeth as she tried again and again to summon her magic. Eventually she collapsed back against the mattress, her breath coming in quick, soft pants. With her legs tied and her magic blocked, she was well and truly helpless. Desperation shone in her eyes, and she frantically tried to pull her hooves free of the ropes. She cried out against Rover’s paw, screaming for help but knowing that nopony could hear her.

The diamond dog chuckled gleefully. After she had so thoroughly humiliated them before, it was very satisfying to see her this powerless and vulnerable.

“That’s right, pony! No getting away from us! Can’t run, can’t magic, and best of all…” Rover pulled the bandana away from his throat and waved it over her face.

“No whining!”

The unicorn recoiled at the sight of the cloth, and she began furiously shaking her head, almost pulling free of Rover’s paw. No longer acting meek and helpless, she was now bucking and thrashing like a wild mare.

“Hey, knock it off, pony,” he hissed. “What’s the big deal?”

Rarity glared up at him, the fear in her eyes replaced with righteous indignation.

“NUPH! Nnpfhh hh mhhnmh,” she said, her words muffled by his paw.

Rover scratched his head. “Uh… what?”

The unicorn rolled her eyes. “Uhmmpfh fnumh, nnpfhh hhmmpfh mmhhnmmn!”

“Can’t understand a thing she says. Speak up, pony!”

Rarity looked to be on the verge of popping a blood vessel. Spot stepped up to Rover and tapped him on the shoulder. “Maybe try taking your paw off pony’s mouth?”

“Oh.” He guessed that would make sense. “Okay, I let go, but no screaming,” he warned, wagging a finger at Rarity. The unicorn sighed but gave a begrudging nod.

Rover took his paw away, and the unicorn breathed in and out a few times. “Thank you. Now, as I was saying, there is absolutely no way that you are using that revolting thing on me!”

“Oh, come on!” Rover threw his paws up in frustration. “How are we supposed to keep you quiet then? Your screeching’s gonna wake the whole town up!”

Rarity frowned. “How dare you! A lady does not ‘screech!’ And for your information, I quite understand your need to silence me. It’s only good common sense for kidnappers to try and avoid detection.”

“Then what’s the problem,” Rover asked.

Rarity looked back to the dangling bandana, her lip curling back in a sneer. “My problem,” she scoffed. “Is THAT abomination. Just look at it. Bad enough you have me tied up in these dowdy ropes. I will not be seen gagged with such a ragged, stained piece of refuse.” She looked closer, and her nose wrinkled in disgust. “Not to mention that it’s soaked from the rain and reeks of sweat. No, you are not putting that filthy thing ANYWHERE near my mouth. If you’re going to kidnap a lady, you should at least put a bit more thought into your materials.”

Rover slapped a paw to his forehead. “Okay, fine, fine! Then what do we use?”

Rarity smiled. “Oh, SO glad you asked.” She nudged her head towards the larger of the two dressers. “In the top left drawer you’ll find several silk scarves that are not only chic and comfortable, but I’m certain they would also make exquisite gags…”

The unicorn trailed off, deep in thought, leaving the diamond dogs completely bewildered. Suddenly she gave an excited gasp, making them all jump back slightly.

“Ideaaaaaaa! Why not use that lovely red pashmina in the very front of the drawer? Not only will it do a fine job of muffling my screams, but the color will match my gown AND contrast beautifully with my fur!”

The dogs shared a skeptical look. Finally, Rover shrugged and loped over to the dresser to do as Rarity asked. Pulling out the article, he returned to the bed and folded it into a long strip.

“Okay, gag’s ready! Hold still, pony,” he ordered.

Rarity blinked, as if she had just remembered that she was in the process of being kidnapped. She opened her mouth for a loud scream, but the shawl was already being pressed down over her lips. The dog fastened it tightly behind her head, careful to keep her mane free of the knot.

“Okay, we got the pony! Let’s get her back to the den, quick quick.”

Sliding his paws under her shoulders, Rover lifted the unicorn’s upper body while Spot carried her by the hind legs. Fido took the lead, tiptoeing back over to the door and guiding them into the hallway.

Unfortunately, it’s much harder to be careful and quiet when carrying a struggling mare. Despite their best efforts, Rover and Spot bumped into the wall several times, stubbed their toes over doorjambs, knocked their heads into lamps and even walked right into Rarity’s grandfather clock.

All of this might have been inconsequential, until Spot tripped over a bunched-up section of rug just before the staircase. He fell to his knees, accidentally pulling Rarity down with him. Startled, Rover let go of the unicorn’s upper body, causing her head to hit to the floor with a loud *thunk.*

They could almost feel the hallway’s temperature plummet. Rarity was absolutely livid. She had been woken up in the rudest manner possible, was being abducted and carried off like a sack of potatoes, and THEN they have the nerve to drop her!?

“Muuh mmnupfhnpfh,” Rarity yelled into her gag. “Mmpfh hmmpfh mmuuh unmhnuhmhmnmh! Mnumfmhmmpfh mhfpfhhnmpfh!” The diamond dogs flinched back, acting as if the unicorn was an armed bomb on the verge of exploding.

Cringing at the enraged tone of her voice, Rover carefully approached, paws held out in surrender. He quickly lifted her off the floor, being extra gentle not to jostle her.

“Sorry! Sorry, Miss Rarity,” he whimpered, desperate to stop the string of ladylike curses. “Won’t happen again, promise!”

But before the dogs could take another step, the door behind them swung open with a bang. A unicorn filly stomped into the hall, her pink and purple mane sticking up in all directions.

“That does it, Opal! You’re always crashing around at night playing with that dumb catnip mouse! Well I don’t care what Rarity says, I’m gonna…”

Sweetie Belle trailed off at the unusual sight before her. Standing in the hallway were three large dogs. Two of them seemed to be holding her sister, who was tied up and gagged. All four of them were looking at her with the wide-eyed expressions of foals caught raiding the cookie jar.

Sweetie Belle looked back and forth from Rarity to the diamond dogs. Surprisingly enough, she didn't seem very alarmed.

“Uh… what’s going on,” she asked curiously.

Fido stepped between them, trying to keep Rarity out of view as she yelled and cried for Sweetie to run and get help.

Spot peeked around the larger dog, doing his best to look innocent. “Um, nothing! Nothing’s going on…”

Sweetie tried to step around Fido. “It sure looks like something’s going on! How come you guys are in our house this late at night? And why do you have Rarity all tied up like that?”

“Well, you see…”

“Are you guys playing Cowcolts and Indians,” the filly guessed. “Or is this like at mom and dad’s house when they put the hat over the door and I’m supposed to stay in my room all night and sleep with earplugs?”

“Nupfh! Nnpfh nnpfh,” Rarity said, blushing heavily. Luckily for her, none of the dogs seemed to understand what Sweetie was talking about. Unluckily for them, they were also terrible at coming up with excuses. After a few more seconds of head-scratching and unintelligible muttering, Fido simply decided to blurt out the truth.

“We’re kidnapping your sister,” he growled, looming over the smaller pony. “And you’d better keep quiet about it or else!”

Sweetie Belle’s jaw dropped. “Ooh, really?!”

Fido couldn’t help but boggle. Was that a trick question? They had Rarity tied up and were carrying her off into the night! What else would they be doing?

“Um… yes?”

Looking past the diamond dog, she grinned widely at Rarity. “Wow! This is awesome. Congrats, sis! You really MUST be famous if you’re already getting stalked by crazy nincompoops!”

“Wha… we are NOT nincompoops,” Rover yelled.

Sweetie rolled her eyes. “Uh, yes you are! You’re the diamond dogs, right?”

“Aha, so you’ve heard of us!” Spot puffed up his chest proudly.

“Yep. Rarity told me all about you guys. That you’re a bunch of… how’d you say it sis? ‘Bumbling oafs who are so incompetent I could outwit them in my sleep,’ right?”

The dogs all turned to glare at Rarity, who had stopped her struggling and gave them an apologetic look.

“Anyway, how come you want to kidnap my sister?”

“Oh, right! The plan,” Spot trailed off. “What was the plan again?”

“We’re taking her back to our lair! Then as revenge for humiliating us, we’ll hold her for ransom,” Rover said. “Make her little dragon friend bring us all the jewels he can carry, until we get all the gems in town!”

Sweetie made a face like she’d just bit into a lemon. “Are you serious? That’s all?”

“Uh... maybe?”

The filly shook her head in disbelief. “All that work just for some gems? Why bother? You know that Rarity’s got lots of gems here, right? You could just steal them instead.”

The dogs were speechless. Obviously this possibility hadn’t occurred to them before. They looked back at Rarity, who was leveling an icy glare their way, as if to say that they had damn well better not go rummaging through her boutique.

“Because! Because…”

“Or why not steal the gems first and THEN kidnap her,” Sweetie offered. “Then Spike’ll bring even more gems, and then you can kidnap him too and ransom them both for even more! Spike’s mom is the princess, ya know. I bet she’d give you all sorts of rich stuff.”

“Fnhnpfhuhhmmpfh mnnnhh pfh,” Rarity said, trying to keep her sister from giving the dogs any more ideas. “Fpfhupfh muhumunmuhh pfhhhmh umhhf.”

Spot looked intrigued. “Ooh, the yappy little pony has a good idea.”

“NO,” Rover said. “We’re not doing that!”

“Why not,” Sweetie Belle pouted. “I think it’s a better idea!”

“It would get us lots more shinies,” Fido pointed out.

Sweetie Belle grinned at him smugly. “Hah! See? They both think so too! I bet you’re just jealous ‘cause you stink at coming up with good plans.”

“I am not jealous,” Rover said.

“Then how come you don’t like my idea? I mean, you’d get tons of extra gems.”

“But it’s not part of the plan,” he yelled.

Sweetie stomped a hoof. “Well, the plan’s stupid! All three of you are stupid, and whoever came up with it is stupid!”

Rarity huffed at her sister’s temper-tantrum, and the dogs all seemed completely lost for words.

“You take that back, or we’ll roll you up in a carpet and toss you in the closet,” Spot growled, shaking a fist.

“I’d like to see you try it!”

“Oh… oh yeah?” Rover said.

“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle countered. “If you couldn’t sneak up on it, I bet you three bozos couldn’t even kidnap a pumpkin!”

Rarity snorted, trying hard to keep from laughing.

“Oh yes we could,” Fido looked back and forth between the ponies, seemingly unable to decide who to focus upon.

“Oh no you couldn’t!”

“Uh huh!”

“Nuh uh!”

“Uh huh!”

“Nuh uh!”

“Uh huh! And we’ll prove it!”

Sweetie looked unconvinced. “How you gonna do that?”

Fido grinned and brandished another length of rope. “We’ll kidnap you too!”

The filly gasped, her eyes wide. “You… you really mean it?”

The dog nodded, glad to see they’d finally scared her into submission.

Sweetie let out a squeal of excitement. “Cool! I’ll get to miss school, and be part of a ransom plan, and help Rarity escape, and then save the day when I turn the tables on you! And then after I capture you all, I can bring you in for show and tell! Cutie Mark Crusader Dog Catcher, YAY!”

With a manic grin, she bounced over to the larger dog and held up her hooves expectedly.

“Well, come on! Start tying me up,” she demanded. “And I want a scarf gag too! Oh, oh, and take me back to your lair and ransom me just like you’re doing with Rarity. And I better get ransomed for good gems, too! Expensive stuff like diamonds and rubies. Nothing on the cheap side, got it?”

Fido took a nervous step back. “Um, maybe that wasn’t such a good idea,” he stammered.

“Muuhpfhpfh,” Rarity agreed, leveling a stern glance his way.

“Yeah, one pony’s more than enough,” Rover muttered.

Sweetie’s face crumpled. “Aww! No fair! I never get to do anything fun.” Her eyes watered; her expression so forlorn that the dogs scrambled to appease her.

“No, no crying! You can help,” Rover insisted. “You, um, can write ransom note!”

The filly sniffled back tears. “Really? Can I deliver it too?”

“Sure, sure, whatever. Just stop crying!”

“Okay! Let me go get a quill and paper,” she said brightly. She trotted down the stairs, leaving the captors and captive standing awkwardly in the hall. When he was sure the filly was out of earshot, Spot leaned closer to Rarity.

“She always like that,” he asked. Rarity could only nod.

Sweetie came charging back up the stairs, hooves banging against the wood. “Okay, got it! I’m gonna try and write it in really cool, scary handwriting. Like an axe murderer’s!”

“Uh, right.” Motioning for Fido to hold Rarity, Rover reached into his vest and withdrew a scroll. Unrolling it, he cleared his throat and began to dictate.

“Attention, Ponyville Dragon!”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sweetie interrupted. ‘Shouldn’t it be ‘Attention, Spike?’ I mean, he’s the only dragon in town.

“Just WRITE,” Rover growled through his teeth.

The filly rolled her eyes. “Fine. Sheesh, this is worse than when we tried getting our stenographer cutie marks.”

True to her word, Sweetie Belle copied the message down exactly, not making a peep as she worked. Finally she set her quill aside and wiped a trickle of sweat from her forehead.

“Done,” she announced.

Rover rubbed his paws together. “Good good! Now, read it back.”

Sweetie lifted the scroll and read in the meanest, gravelliest voice she could manage.

“Attention, Ponyville Dragon!”

“We have kidnapped your precious Rarity. By the time you read this, she will be locked away in her our lair, never to be seen again. You cannot find us! You cannot stop us! But if you want her safely returned, come alone to the Rambling Rock Ridge before daybreak, and bring the following gems:

178 diamonds
122 amethysts
99 sapphires
76 pearls
52 rubies
41 emeralds
25 garnets
8 opals

Do not delay, or she will be made to suffer. Come and save her, if you dare.

Signed, the diamond dogs.”

Sweetie looked up from the paper and gave a disgusted ‘blah.’

“That’s really corny.”

The dogs gaped at her as if they’d been slapped in the face. Strangely enough, Rarity also looked quite insulted.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean,” Spot demanded.

“Ransom notes are supposed to be scary or threatening, not sappy! I mean, come on!”

Sweetie Belle crossed her hooves and batted her eyelashes. “‘Your precious Rarity,’” she quoted in a breathy, demure voice. “‘Save her if you dare?’ It sounds like the same cheesy junk that’s in those goofy romance stories my sister reads. It’s mush! Which one of you came up with this anyway?”

Rover glanced back at Rarity, who looked angry enough to tear out of the ropes and throttle Sweetie Belle herself.

“Doesn’t matter,” he said quickly, looking to the other dogs. “Ready to go?”

They nodded, all too eager to get the hell away from this annoying filly. Ensuring he had a tight hold on Rarity, he began leading the dogs back down the stairs as Sweetie Belle followed. “Come on, guys! Don’t ignore me. You know I’m right!”

Rover looked back at her over his shoulder. “Don’t care! Stop questioning the note!”

“I’m just saying it could be a lot better,” she continued. “It’s gotta sound tough! Something like… ‘Avast, Spikey! We’ve stolen yer wench! Bring us some looty if ya want back her booty, arr har!’ See? Sounds way cooler!”

Rarity seemed to disagree, squirming in her bonds and loudly protesting that she was NOT a wench.

“Nope, not changing it. Shut up,” Rover grumbled. The door was in sight. Only a few seconds more and they were home free. He could almost hear the wonderful silence…

The filly didn’t seem fazed in the least. “Okay fine, how about this one? ‘Listen up, youse ponies! We’s got Rarity, see? And we’re gonna hold ‘er for ransom, see? So you doity rats better bring us dose gems or dere’s gonna be trouble, see?’”

Unable to take anymore of Sweetie’s assistance, Fido spun around and snatched up the filly, shaking her back and forth. “JUST DELIVER NOTE AND STOP TALKING!”

Sweetie waved a hoof dismissively and squirmed out of his grip. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll deliver your sappy note. Bah, you guys sure don’t take advice very well.”

Hopping back down to the floor, she shooed them out of the boutique and locked the door behind them.

As the dogs turned to leave, she reached out and gave Rarity a comforting pat on the leg. “Have fun, sis!”

They headed off in separate directions, only for Sweetie to stop and yell out.

“And don’t worry, I’ll get this to Spike and he’ll come save you right away. Then he can sweep you off your hooves and the two of you can abscond to your boudoir and do all the other stuff that I didn’t get to read about ‘cause you took your diary back before I finished it.”

“UHMHMMPFH MMUUH NUPFHPFHNH!” Rarity began thrashing around in their paws as the diamond dogs rushed off towards the forest. Sweetie Belle giggled and waved as they vanished into the night with their struggling hostage.

“Bye, Rarity! Send us a postcard!”

Sweetie yelped at the new voice. Whipping her head around, she saw Pinkie Pie standing beside her, happily waving.

“Pinkie,” she gasped. “What are you doing here?!”

The party pony grinned down at her. “We~eeeeeellllll, there I was suffering from a late night snack attack. I was rooting around for cupcakes when suddenly my pinkie sense started tingling. Right foreleg, both ears and my nose means somepony’s going on a trip! Left eyebrow, right ear and a twitchy tail means somepony else needs help delivering a letter. With a double whammy like that, I just had to investigate! So I followed them straight here!”

“Oh. Okay, so how much did you hear?”

“Just the last thing you said. How you have to go tell Spike to save Rarity so they can live happily ever after or something.”

Sweetie nodded. “Yep, I’ve got the note and everything! I just don’t know what to say before I give it to them.”

“Ooh, I can totally help with that! Please, please can I?”

Sweetie grinned. “Sure! I bet those dopey dogs need all the help they can get anyway.”

“Whee! Okey dokey, so let me think…”

The two friends began skipping towards the library, with Pinkie offering constant suggestions along the way.

“How about, ‘Thank you Spike! But our princess is in another castle?’”

“I dunno. Rarity’s not a princess, and I don’t think the dogs have a castle…”

“Okay then… I got it! ‘Rarity has been kidnapped by ninjas! Are you a bad enough dude to save her?’”

“Nah! Those guys are too dumb to be ninjas!”

Pinkie rubbed her chin. “Good point. Oooooh, I have just the thing!”

She lowered her voice to a low drone. “How are you gentlemen? All your mares are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction!”

“What does that even mean?!”

Author's Note

Thanksgiving is quite the marvelous holiday. With nothing to do but socialize with relatives, eat and watch football, the mind has plenty of time to wander. This particular story came to mind in-between commercials during the Raiders game Thursday. I was thinking of how Rarity gave Applejack advice in Season 3, and decided to try another diamond dog encounter when she's in more of a damsel mindset. Sounded fun, so despite still being stuck in a huge family reunion, I just had to get this first one written.

Happy belated holidays to all my readers, and hope you liked the first chapter!

2. Word Gets Around

Chapter 2- Word Gets Around

Spike was having the most wonderful dream.

Fleur De Lis had invited Rarity to attend a fashion show in Canterlot, even going so far as to suggest that she bring along some of her finer pieces to put on display. Though flattered, the unicorn had been equally horrified at the possibility of arriving with substandard garments and being subsequently laughed out of the capitol. She just had to make sure that only the best of her dresses was chosen.

That was where Spike came in. He had, after all, experienced Canterlot’s formal scene many times in the past. Not to mention they had worked together so well and so often, she trusted him to give a professional and unbiased opinion.

And of course, there was no way Spike would refuse when she asked to model for him.

So there he was, seated on the plush and velvety couch, a glass of cider all but forgotten in his claws. Eyes wide, he watched the vision of loveliness that was Rarity as she strutted and sashayed across the room. How was he supposed to choose which gown was better? They all accentuated her beauty, making her look like an angel, no a goddess.

He tried to stay focused, offering a short nod or shake of his head and sometimes even a coherent sentence for each item. Rarity would hang onto his every word, profess her thanks with a dazzling smile, and then head back behind the screen to switch to a new dress. Maybe it was just his imagination, but Spike could have sworn that she was putting a bit more sway in her hips with each change. And… had she just winked at him?

He gulped, grip tightening around the glass. The sun’s rays were filtering in from directly behind her, allowing him to clearly see Rarity’s silhouette as she slid the dress down her body. Stepping away, she extended her hooves and did a series of long, slow stretches. Spike could only stare, forgetting even to breathe as she slipped into another gown and lifted the discarded one from the floor, folding and hanging it over the screen.

Finally, she stepped into view. Spike drew in a sharp, reverent breath, too entranced to care about the burning in his lungs. The gown was a rich and verdant green, the kind one might see in summer grass just after a rainstorm. Hundreds of tiny amethysts were embedded in the bodice and hem, twinkling like violet stars. It was long, ending only a few inches above her back hooves. Short, billowy sleeves and thin straps exposed her forelegs and upper body. The satiny material shimmered and gleamed in the light, giving her fur an almost pearlescent sheen.

Spike knew that his jaw had dropped almost to the floor, but at the moment he couldn’t bring himself to care. Rarity put a hoof to her mouth and giggled, obviously amused at his reaction. She asked if he liked what he saw. Well, that’s what he thought she said. He couldn’t really hear anything with the blood pounding in his ears, so he nodded vigorously and hoped for the best.

Rarity smiled, walking over with slow and measured steps. She stopped just before the couch, twirling in an elegant circle. As the dress settled around her hooves, she looked back over her shoulder, batting her eyelashes. She asked if he thought this was the dress she should use for the show.

His mouth opened, and the compliments began tumbling out. That it was gorgeous, a masterpiece, that she’d be the envy of every tailor and seamstress in Canterlot, that even the princesses would be jealous of such a dress.

Turning back around, she stepped up to the edge of the couch. She said that she’d had no idea he liked this outfit so much. Leaning down until their noses were almost touching, she asked in a whisper if he’d like to inspect it more closely.

He whispered a timid yes. Her smile turned into a grin, and her horn lit up with a blue flash. The glass was pulled from Spike’s claws and set aside, and then he felt himself being pushed back against the couch. Rarity climbed up beside him, smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress before draping a hoof over his shoulders. Looking into her eyes, he could see the warmth, the affection, the desire. Pushing away from the couch, she turned and settled herself in Spike’s lap, straddling him. Her forelegs looped around his neck as she pressed her body against him.

Claws trembling, Spike lifted his arms and wrapped them tenderly around her. Rarity let out a soft moan of appreciation as he rubbed and kneaded her back. Emboldened, Spike let his claws roam freely, from her flanks up to her shoulders and back down. Deepening the embrace, Rarity laid her head on his shoulder. She whispered into his ear, asking if he would like her to properly thank him for his help. Heart racing, throat dry, he could only give another nod. Rarity pulled back, eyelids lowering seductively. Spike shivered at the feel of cool satin and warm fur, and he closed his eyes as their lips were about to meet…

*WHAM* *WHAM *WHAM*

Spike jolted upright, tumbling out of his basket in a tangle of limbs and blankets. He frantically looked around the room, a feeling of shock followed by deep, horrified disappointment filling him. It was only a dream, and he’d woken up before the best part!

He groaned and buried his face in his claws, wishing he’d had just a few more seconds.

*WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM*

Another series of knocks came from the front door, and Spike looked over at the clock beside Twilight’s empty bed. Ten minutes after eleven. Who in their right minds would visit at this time of night?

“Spi~iiiiiike,” he heard Twilight call from downstairs. “Could you get that please? This stage of the experiment requires constant monitoring or else I’ll have to start from the beginning!”

He glared down the stairs. No, he didn’t want to answer the door. He wanted to jam his head back under the pillow and hope that somehow he could pick up where he left off!

He kicked the blankets away and trudged out of the room. This was all Twilight’s fault. If she’d just go to bed earlier instead of studying all night like a crazy pony, than maybe other crazy ponies wouldn’t see the lights on and try to visit.

Muttering under his breath, he stomped down the stairs. With a drawn-out yawn, he undid the lock and pulled open the door.

“HI SPIKE,” an exuberant pair of voices yelled.

Spike looked at the two blearily, trying to stifle a frustrated groan. Great, just great. Pinkie Pie and Sweetie Belle. The two craziest, most hyper ponies in town, and here they were on his doorstep.

“What do you want,” he asked.

“Wait, wait, wait, almost ready!” Pinkie turned back to Sweetie and gestured with a hoof. “Places, quick!”

Sweetie ducked behind the older mare. “Okay, go!”

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”

Pinkie jumped up on her hind legs, swinging her upper body back and forth as she began to sing.

“Good evening, mister dragon! How are you tonight?”

Sweetie jumped onto her shoulders, flexing her hooves. “We’re here because there’s trouble! A wrong that you must right!”

“Somepony needs assistance! A maiden prim and fair!”

“She needs a dragon hero! One suave and debonair!”

"HEY!"

Pinkie flipped the unicorn into the air, where she spun several times before landing expertly on her hooves. Facing one another, the two began to cha cha, still singing back and forth. Spike watched in silence, half-wondering if maybe he was still asleep and his dream had just mutated into a nightmare. Eyes drooping, he leaned against the doorframe and was just on the verge of dozing off when Pinkie clapped her hooves in front of his face, startling him back awake.

“You need to take action, there’s no time to lose!”

“You can’t save the day if you lie back and snooze!”

“There’s mutts making mischief, a damsel to save!”

“So it’s time to decide, are you hero or knave!?”

As the song’s tempo began to slow, both dropped to the ground, raising and lowering their forelegs in exaggerated bows.

“We can see that you’re anxious, and ready to go~ooooooo…”

“So we’ll cut to the chase, it’s ti~iiiiiiiiiiime… to~ooooooooo…”

Spike slammed the door in their faces and turned back to bed. It was way too late for that much perkiness.

“Spike? Who was at the door?”

“Wrong number,” he said.

*WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM*

They just couldn’t take a hint, could they? Well, he might as well get it over with. Knowing Pinkie, she’d probably climb up the side of the tree and start singing through the window if he kept ignoring them.

“How come you shut the door, Spikey,” Pinkie asked.

“My claw slipped,” he lied.

“Oh well, our song was just about over anyway. So now we can deliver our message!”

Pinkie’s excitement was beginning to give him a headache. “Fine, fine. What is it?”

Sweetie Belle ran up beside the door and carefully sidled inside, looking back and forth as if to spot any eavesdroppers. She beckoned Spike closer, and the sleepy dragon grudgingly complied.

“Rarity needs you,” she whispered conspiratorially. “You’re the only one who can help her.”

That perked him right up. His mind cleared, his eyes snapped open, and a goofy grin spread across his face. “Really? What’s she need me to do? Where is she?”

Sweetie pulled a scroll from her back and held it out. “Take this, and all will be explained!”

Spike’s previous enthusiasm crashed harder than Rainbow Dash on a sugar high. That was it? The big important thing Rarity needed his help, and only his help with? A friendship report? Disappointing wasn’t a strong enough word.

He frowned, making no move to take the scroll. “Couldn’t this have waited until morning,” he complained.

“Nope! Too important.” Sweetie waved the scroll back and forth in front of his face. “Come on, take it! Take it take it take it take it take it…”

“Ugh, FINE!” Snatching the note out of her hoof, Spike took a deep breath and blew out a jet of green fire, sending the note off to Celestia. He looked back to Sweetie and Pinkie, who were gaping at him in shock.

“There, anything else?”

“SPIKE! You incinerated my ransom note!” Sweetie stomped a hoof in frustration. “I worked so hard on it too!”

Spike winced, clamping both claws over his ears. “Would you stop screaming already? I just sent it to mom, like I do with every other…”

He trailed off, lowering his claws and looking at the unicorn quizzically. “Wait… ransom note?”

Sweetie Belle looked at him like he was an idiot. “Yeah! A ransom note that YOU were s’posed to read, dummy!”

Spike was completely lost. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” he said, trying to soothe the irate filly. “I wouldn’t have done that if I knew I was supposed to read it first. Forgive me?”

She glared at him for another moment, and then finally shrugged. “Well… okay!”

Spike exhaled slowly, glad to have dodged a bullet there. “So… do you remember what the note said?”

Sweetie Belle laughed. “Yep! Kinda wish I didn’t though, it’s so sappy and dumb! Okay, here goes…”

“Wait! Just… please don’t sing it, okay,” he pleaded.

“Sure! But no more interruptions, got it?”

Spike nodded, and Sweetie grit her teeth before reciting the letter in the meanest, growliest voice she could manage.

“Attention, Ponyville Dragon!”

“We have kidnapped your precious Rarity...”

That was all Spike needed to hear before completely losing it. He stood there frozen in horror as Sweetie continued to talk, nothing registering in his mind but the terrible fate that had befallen his beloved beauty.

“…Come and save her, if you dare.

Signed, the diamond dogs.

PS- BWAHAHAHAHA!”

“Ooh, did you add the fiendish laugh part yourself,” Pinkie asked.

Sweetie puffed out her chest proudly. “Yep! The dumb thing didn’t sound scary enough, so I added it in.”

“It sounded awesome,” the earth pony said.

“Thanks. I…”

Spike grabbed Sweetie by the cheeks. “WHAT HAPPENED TO RARITY? WHO TOOK HER? DID THEY HURT HER? WHAT DO THEY WANT? ANSWER ME!!!”

Twilight stepped up behind him, gently pulling his claws away from Sweetie’s face. “Spike, calm down and let go of Sweetie Belle. What on earth is everypony yelling about,”

“Geez, weren’t you listening at all?” The filly crossed her hooves, pouting at the fact that her note was being so tragically ignored. “I already told you, the diamond dogs got her, they took her back to their den thing, and they want lots of gems!”

Twilight gasped. “Oh, no! Sweetie, are you sure?”

She nodded. “Uh huh! I was right there the whole time! They even let me write the note, and they were gonna kidnap me too but then decided I was too much for ‘em!” She threw a few air punches to demonstrate.

Spike grabbed a fistful of Twilight’s mane and tried to drag her out the door. “Come on, Twi! We gotta do something! Anything!”

“Ow! Spike, wait! We need to approach this rationally!

“Rationally,” he said wildly. “Being rational is for little stuff like disasters and apolkalypses!”

“Apocalypses,” she corrected him, wincing as he began to pull harder. “Ouch! Will you calm down? This is no time to panic!”

“I’m not panicking, I’m freaking out!”

Knowing that he wouldn’t listen to reason, Twilight touched her horn to the side of his head and fired off a quick spell.

Spike released her mane, wobbling unsteadily on his feet as the sedative magic did its work. “We… gotta… we, um… where… ugh…” Eyes rolling back in his head, he took another step before falling.

Twilight caught the unconscious dragon and gently laid him across her back. “Okay, now that the hysterics are over, here’s what we’re going to do. Pinkie?”

The party pony snapped to attention. “Our friends need to know about this, so I want you to go wake everypony and tell them to come here immediately.”

Pinkie cocked her head to the side. “Everypony,” she asked.

“Yes, all of them,” Twilight said impatiently. “Quickly.”

“Okey dokey!” Turning around, she raced off in a cloud of dust.

Twilight ushered Sweetie into the house. “Alright. While she’s doing that, I want you to tell me what you remember. How many dogs there were, what they looked like, what they said and did, everything.”

After ensuring that Spike was fully unconscious and resting comfortably, Twilight eased back in her favorite chair and listened carefully as Sweetie Belle began to explain. As the facts were presented, the studious unicorn found herself growing more and more intrigued. By the time Sweetie had finished reciting her ransom note, Twilight was meandering around the living room, staring blankly at various objects as she puzzled and pondered.

Why would the diamond dogs abduct Rarity for a second time? After seeing how thoroughly cowed they had become after the first encounter, Twilight would have sooner expected them to face down a hemorrhoidal manticore than tangle with the fashionista again. Especially not for something as trivial as a ransom plan.

Speaking of which, why were they so adamant about following this plan to the letter? The ideas that Sweetie had offered them were quite sensible, even if she was appalled that the filly had actually suggested they kidnap Spike as well.

Then there was the ransom note itself. While Twilight was withholding judgment on its ‘corniness,’ she had to admit that something was off about the wording itself. From what she remembered of the diamond dogs, their grammar was atrocious, misplacing words and mangling sentence structure at random. She would have expected the note to be more of the same, but it had sounded surprisingly articulate. And what about the specific numbers and types of gems that were listed? The dogs might have loved gems, but they certainly weren’t picky. Twilight would have expected the note to simply demand ‘all the gems you can carry’ or something along those lines.

This mystery, which Twilight had decided to call ‘The Case of the Ransomed Rarity,’ was even more baffling than she thought. The more she considered it, the less sense it made. But before she could apply her deductive skills, the front door banged open and Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Fluttershy raced into the library.

Applejack skidded to a halt in front of her. “Okay Twi, we’re here. Now what’s this big ol’ emergency Pinkie was yapping ‘bout?”

“Well you see, Sweetie Belle and Pinkie recently arrived looking for Spike. They… wait. Where is Pinkie?”

“I’m not sure. She went running off after waking us up. Maybe she, um, went to get Rarity,” Fluttershy said.

Twilight groaned. That would make perfect sense. She could just see Pinkie banging futilely on the boutique’s door, having completely forgotten that it was currently unoccupied.

“Fine, whatever. Pinkie already knows, so we’ll just start without her.”

“But what about Rarity,” Applejack asked.

“Well, considering she’s in the process of being KIDNAPPED, I don’t think she can meet with us to discuss her being kidnapped, can she?”

“SHE’S BEING WHAT,” the three mares yelled, or squeaked, in Fluttershy’s case.

“Kidnapped, abducted, captured, shanghaied, hijacked, pick a synonym! Now, if you’re all ready to listen, I’ll let Sweetie Belle tell you exactly what happened.”

“Do I have to,” the filly whined. “I’ve already said it like three times so far!”

Twilight patted her on the back. “This’ll be the last time, I promise.”

Sweetie rolled her eyes, but complied. By the time she finished, Applejack and Fluttershy were exchanging worried glances, obviously concerned for their friend’s safety. Dash, on the other hoof, was livid.

“I knew we couldn’t trust those guys!” She stomped a hoof angrily. “We shouldn’t have just left after they gave her back. We should’ve kicked their butts across the cave and made ‘em too scared to ever leave it again!”

“Simmer down, sugarcube. ‘Member what happened when we busted in there? Rarity’d already had ‘em with their tails ‘tween their legs. Ah don’t think any of us expected them dogs to come back for seconds.”

Dash snorted. “Yeah, well, they did. And now we’re right back where we started the last time, except this time they’re cocky enough to start making demands!”

“There’s no point beating ourselves up over what happened in the past,” Twilight reasoned. “Right now we have to focus on the present and come up with a plan.”

“A plan, huh? I got a plan for you!” Rainbow Dash spread her wings and took to the air, flying in a tight circle overhead.

“Step One! We get our flanks in gear and head straight for their cave!”

The pegasus tucked herself into a dive and tackled Applejack to the floor.

“Step Two! We kick some diamond dog butt! Step Three! We rescue Rarity!”

Leaping off the earth pony, she swept Fluttershy up into her hooves and landed beside Twilight, dropping the other pegasus to the floor.

“And Step Four! We all go back to bed. Any questions,” she asked haughtily.

Applejack picked herself up from the ground. “Yeah, I got one. Have ya lost yer dad-gummed mind?!”

“Hey, you got a better idea?”

“Ah sure do! We do what they say in that there letter, give ‘em the gems and get Rarity back, easy as you please.”

Rainbow Dash was completely dumbstruck. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she tried to process what Applejack had suggested. “Are you insane,” she finally shouted. “You want to just give in to these jokers? Why in the hay should we do that? We stomped them flat last time! I thought you of all ponies would be up for doing it again!”

“Now I’m not the type ta’ turn tail at the first sign of a rumble,” Applejack said. “But I’m also not gonna go jumpin’ into one if there’s no need. Last time that was the only choice we had. This time we don’t have ta’ do nothin’ stupid.”

“Oh, sure. Because doing what the dogs want is the smart thing!”

“Um, excuse me,” Fluttershy mumbled. “But I think Applejack’s right. We should probably do what they say.”

“Aww, come on, Shy! Not you too,” Dash said.

“I… I just think it would be the best option. And, and not because I’m scared of fighting them again… or anything like that.” The other pegasus scoffed, causing Applejack to whack her over the back of the head.

“It’s for Rarity’s sake,” Fluttershy said. “I… that is… remember what they had Sweetie Belle write in the note? They said they’d hurt her if we didn’t do exactly what they wanted. What if she gets hurt because we go running in?”

“Aww, that’s just a bunch of hot air,” Rainbow Dash said dismissively. “They’re just scared ‘cause they know they can’t beat us in a fair fight.”

“Which is why I’m willing to bet it ain’t no bluff. If they can’t beat us fair, I’ll betcha they won’t think twice ‘bout fighting dirty.

“All the more reason for us to hit them as fast and hard as we can,” she persisted. “I mean, come on! We go quick and take them by surprise, they won’t have a chance to do anything! They won’t expect us to come right after them!”

Applejack growled. “How do ya know that? How do ya know that ain’t just what they’re hopin’ we do? They know it’s what we did last time, and they might just be ready fer that! Use yer head, girl! We go chargin’ in there looking fer a brawl again and we might not come outta it on top. An’ like Fluttershy said, we’d put Rarity in danger if’n we did.”

“I get it. So you want to just play nice and do whatever they say so Rarity doesn’t get hurt, or we don’t get hurt. But she’s not gonna be the only one in danger if we do things your way, you know. What about Spike, huh?” Dash was not one to sit about and strategize. She was a pony of action, and having every one of her ideas shot down was sorely testing her temper. Her wings beat furiously, and she looked about ready to give Applejack a good punch in the jaw to vent some of her anger. “Sweetie already gave those dogs the idea to nab him too. And you still want to send him in there to make this trade by himself!?”

“Don’tcha go puttin’ words in my mouth! Ah only said we ought ta pay ‘em what they want, never said nuthin’ about making Spike do that!”

The two ponies pressed their foreheads together, teeth clenched as they stared one another down. Fluttershy whimpered and dove behind the couch, with Sweetie Belle quickly ducking down after her. Twilight merely sighed and magically shoved both mares to opposite sides of the room.

“That’s enough, you two! However we decide to handle this, knocking each other’s teeth out isn’t going to help.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Sorry AJ, for accusing you and stuff,” Dash mumbled.

The earth pony nodded. “S’all right, sugarcube. Ah know we’re both just worried ‘bout Rarity and got a bit riled up.”

Twilight looked back at the couch where Spike was still out cold. “And Fluttershy? You two can come out now.”

The pink-maned pegasus slowly crept around the piece of furniture, as if expecting the argument to suddenly flare up again. Sweetie followed, gently nudging her back into motion every time she halted.

“Excellent. Now that everypony’s on the same page, I’d like to address each of your concerns. Both your opinions are valid, but we have to look at them logically.” Crossing her forelegs, she thought over each of the presented ideas, weighing their various pros and cons.

“Rainbow Dash,” she said, making the pegasus look over expectantly. “First of all, I think we should abandon any notion of a full-frontal assault.”

Applejack shot her a triumphant smirk, and Dash looked ready to protest when Twilight held up a hoof. “Just hear me out, please. From what we’ve heard, it seems to me that the diamond dogs have refined their methods and carefully considered their actions. Their first kidnapping was impulsive, sloppy. This time they acted in a precise and efficient manner. That proves that they’ve learned from their mistakes, and are planning things in advance. Therefore, it would be foolhardy to try and deal with them exactly as we did in the past. Their ransom note also clearly threatens Rarity’s safety if we do not adhere to their demands. This leads me to believe that Fluttershy and Applejack are correct in assuming that they are both prepared and expecting us to come charging in.”

“However,” she continued, turning her gaze to Applejack. “This does not mean that I endorse paying their ransom. All things considered, I believe this would be the absolute worst course of action.”

“How in the hay do ya figure that,” Applejack said incredulously.

Twilight rose to her hooves and began to pace. “Consider the following: Right now, the diamond dogs have Rarity. We have gems. However, they can find gems elsewhere should the need arise, while we can only get Rarity back through them. Do you see what I mean? They hold all the cards.”

“Do… do you think they won’t give her back, even if we pay it,” Fluttershy asked.

“It’s a definite possibility,” Twilight said. “Their side of the bargain is more valuable, after all. I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to stall us, increasing the ransom each and every time.”

Twilight paused. “And that’s not even the worst thing that could happen.” She said, more to herself than the others. “What if the trade proceeds optimally, and our compliance convinces the dogs that they can get away with this kind of thing!”

Completely enraptured by her theory, Twilight was now speaking too quickly and quietly for them to hear. Stepping over, Dash carefully reached out and tapped the rambling unicorn on the shoulder.

“Twilight? You kinda lost us back there.”

“Oh! Sorry, I guess I got a little carried away.” She tried to recall where her train of thought had jumped the rails. “Okay, so there’s another problem with paying off the ransom. It might serve as positive reinforcement for the diamond dogs, which in turn could lead to subsequent abductions and increasingly outrageous demands.”

The cyan pegasus smiled and nodded. “Alright, good, good. Now can you translate that from Egghead to English?”

“What I mean,” Twilight said with a scowl. “Is that if we give them what they want, it might encourage them to try it again. I’m sure you’ll agree that kidnapping ponies is a bad thing. The last thing we want to do is reward them for it.”

“Ah, I gotcha! Why didn’t you say that in the first place,” Dash asked.

“I did,” Twilight growled through her teeth.

“Alrighty then. So we can’t go rushin’ off to the rescue, and we can’t give ‘em what they want. So what in tarnation are we s’posed to do,” Applejack asked, clearly out of ideas.

“Well, I think that-” Twilight was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. “Guess Pinkie finally remembered that nopony’s at the boutique,” she said.

“Twilight! We’re here,” Pinkie said from the other side.

‘We? But we’re all here, aside from Rarity,’ Twilight thought, pulling the door open. ‘Who else would she…’ her jaw dropped at the sight.

Standing behind Pinkie was a massive crowd of anxious and restless ponies. They completely filled the streets surrounding the library, making it seem as if the entire town was now congregating around her house. Twilight suddenly got the unpleasant feeling that it WAS the entire town.

“Umm, Pinkie? Why are all these ponies here,” she asked, trying to keep as calm as possible.

“Because you said they needed to know, silly!” Pinkie tousled Twilight’s mane with a laugh. “Remember what you said? You said go wake up everypony and tell them to come here immediately, so I did!”

“Not every everypony,” Twilight protested. “Just our friends!”

“But everypony in town is my friend!”

A stallion pushed his way to the front of the crowd. “Pinkie said you needed to tell us about some kind of emergency,” he said. “Something about a pack of wild dogs that are breaking into pony’s houses!”

“I heard they were some kind of crazy ninjas,” another mare shouted from the back.

“I was told they’re abducting mares and carrying them off into the night,” a frantic pony shouted.

Soon the air was filled with countless voices yelling back and forth. Somehow the truth had become hopelessly distorted, and the crowd was rapidly devolving into a frenzied mob.

Twilight could only watch helplessly, without the faintest idea how to react. Calming one panicked dragon? That she could do. But a whole crowd of hysterical ponies? Not exactly her specialty.

Could this night get any worse?

Less than a mile from Ponyville, the diamond dogs were running. Even with Rarity held between them, Rover and Spot were able to keep an equal pace on three legs as they dodged around tree trunks and bounded over ravines. Fido kept to the rear, constantly pausing to look behind them, listening and sniffing for anypony that might be following. Their captive remained surprisingly docile, as though she understood that any distraction might lead to a rather painful collision or fall.

They pushed themselves to move faster, breaths coming in low, powerful rumbles as they broke through the tree line and out onto the ridge. Rarity’s sister had probably already delivered their message. They’d have to work fast to get everything ready in time.

They skidded to a halt at the edge of a hole. Taking Rarity from the two smaller dogs, Fido slung the unicorn over his shoulder. Rarity made a muffled protest at being tossed about like a piece of luggage, but he paid it no mind. One after another, they leapt down into the darkness.

The dogs slackened their pace as they navigated the labyrinthine tunnels. This was their territory after all, no need to worry about further pursuit. They continued on for several minutes before stopping in a large, cozy cavern that had long since been cleared of gems and was now used by the pack as living space. It was certainly among their most finely furnished, filled with expensive furniture and fine decorations that the diamond dogs had acquired from years of trade with travelling merchants.

There was a wide and comfortable bed, covered with embroidered pillows and thick, wool sheets. Couches and sitting cushions were scattered about the room, and carpets lined the stone floor. A bit ostentatious, perhaps, but only the best would do for their ‘hostage.’

Laying Rarity down atop one of the couches, the dogs stepped back to catch their breath. “We… we did it,” Spot said in amazement. “We actually did it!”

Ecstatic at their success, the three began to cheer and congratulate one another on a job well-done.

“Hmmufhh mhfh,” Rarity said, repeating herself until the dogs took notice.

“Oh, sorry Miss Rarity,” Fido said. The larger dog leaned in and carefully untied the gag. “That better?”

Rarity smacked her lips a few times. “Thank you, darling. Fashionable as it was, that gag was becoming a bit uncomfortable.”

“Anything else we can do? Ropes too tight?”

“Oh, they’re perfectly fine. Quite snug, in fact. No, I think…” Her next words were interrupted by a harsh cough, and the dogs crowded around her worriedly.

“You okay? Did you get sick on the way over?”

“No, nothing like that. My throat just feels so dry. Would one of you care to fetch me some water?”

Spot leapt to his feet. “Right away, Miss Rarity!” He was back in a flash, holding the stone cup up to her lips as she drank.

“Thank you ever so much,” she said gratefully. “All that screaming and struggling does tend to wear a lady out, but I simply had to keep in character.”

“You did good,” Fido said. “All that kicking and screaming just like a real scaredy-pony!”

“Aww, why thank you! And I must say that you three did an excellent job as well.”

All three of their tails began to wag. “Really? You think we did good,” Rover asked hopefully.

Rarity laughed. “But of course! Your performances were exemplary. So threatening, so forceful! Why, it felt just like a real kidnapping! I was in complete suspense…”

The unicorn trailed off, her smile lessening. “Well, until my sister made her appearance and complicated things, that is.”

Fido winced. “Umm, sorry I shouted at her… and said I was gonna roll her up in the closet.”

Rarity gave him a reassuring pat with her bound hooves. “No apologies needed. I know that Sweetie can be rather frustrating and difficult to handle. She gets it from me, you know.”

The dogs wisely chose not to agree with her on that point.

“Nevertheless! I was quite impressed by how quickly you thought on your feet and incorporated her into the plan. Having her deliver the note, rather than leave it to be found in the morning? Quite ingenious!”

Rarity pushed herself up into a seated position, her voice taking on an authoritative tone. “Now then, we can’t spend all night patting each other on the backs, can we? With Sweetie Belle delivering the note, we won’t have nearly as much time to prepare. Shall we get started on Phase Two?”

Celestia’s bedroom was still and peaceful, silent but for the ticking of the clock, the soft breathing of a sleeping princess, and the scratching of a quill against parchment.

The far corner was dimly lit by a single candle. Sitting at the desk was an alicorn, her dark blue fur making her nearly invisible in the shadows. A small pile of scrolls and papers was spread out before her, and she worked dutifully to complete Celestia’s remaining paperwork.

Affixing her signature to the report, she levitated it away and chuckled. Celestia had always found it difficult to properly manage her time. Whether it be homework when they were fillies or budgetary reports as monarchs, she never managed to stay caught up. Since her nightly duties tended to be a bit more relaxed, Luna had no qualms about lending a helping hoof.

“Oh, sister. How ever did you manage to rule the kingdom alone for a thousand years,” she whispered fondly.

She was just reaching for another document when she noticed something moving from the corner of her eye. She looked over to see a trail of smoke condensing over Celestia’s bed.

Luna set her quill aside and stood up from the desk. She advanced cautiously, not sure what to make of the strange, glowing mist. Before she could take another step, there was a quick flash of light. A scroll appeared out of the smoke and fell to the mattress with a soft plop. Now she understood. Based on the letter’s arrival, it must have been sent by her nephew.

But… what could he be sending, and so late at night? She knew that Celestia had already received Twilight Sparkle’s friendship report for that day, so it must be something else.

Curious, she crept over for a better look. Her puzzlement deepened when she got a better look at the scroll. It looked to be made of ordinary parchment, a far cry from the high grade that Spike’s letters were normally composed upon. It was also missing the seal that marked it as being from and to a member of the royal family.

What could this mean? Had another pony asked or forced Spike to send a letter for them? Was he in such a hurry that he had simply grabbed and sent the first bit of parchment he could reach? Or did Spike always use normal parchment when sending personal letters to his mother?

Luna chewed her lip thoughtfully. It wouldn’t be proper of her to go snooping through her sister’s mail. She should probably just act as if she never even noticed it. Just ignore the letter and let Celestia read it in the morning. That was what would happen any other night, wouldn’t it?

She nodded to herself. That was exactly what she was going to do. She would respect her sister’s privacy, finish the paperwork that remained, and then go about her business. She would not be tempted by Spike’s letter or its mysterious contents. Turning her back to the bed, she lifted her chin and marched back to the desk.

But no matter how hard she tried to return to her work, the letter refused to leave her thoughts, and her eyes kept drifting back. The scroll sat motionless on the bed, taunting her with its secrets. It was practically asking her to open it, begging to be read.

Now Luna was neither an impulsive nor weak-willed mare. But there was just something about that letter. Perhaps this was due to its strange appearance, or the unusual hour in which it arrived. Maybe it was the mind-numbing boredom caused by hours of paperwork that made any diversion alluring. Or maybe it was just because Celestia wouldn’t get around to seeing it for another seven hours. It all added up to a perfect storm of inquisitiveness that the moon princess found impossible to resist. She had to see what was in that letter!

Lying flat on her belly, Luna crawled back over to the bed, raising her head just enough to peek over the top of the mattress. She briefly considered just waking Celestia and having her read the letter aloud. Then she could satisfy her curiosity without feeling like a nosy nag. And Tia wouldn’t mind, right? After all, this could be something important! Something that simply couldn’t wait until morning. Spike wasn’t the type to send off a frivolous message, not at this hour. What if he was hurt, or there was something wrong in Ponyville?

She was just reaching out a hoof, but stopped herself once more as she looked down at Celestia’s peaceful expression. True the letter might be of the utmost importance. But then again… it might not be. Luna knew all too well how cranky Celestia could become if her beauty sleep was interrupted. And if this did turn out to be a false alarm, she’d be the one facing Celestia’s wrath.

Did she really want to take that risk?

In the end, she decided the safest bet was to read the message herself, and go from there. If it was an emergency, she would inform Celestia at once. If it wasn’t, she’d just reroll the scroll and put it back where she found it. No harm, no foul.

Secure in her logic, Luna raised a foreleg and slowly inched it across the mattress. She didn’t dare use her magic. The humming and light from her horn might give her away. She kept her eyes glued to Celestia’s face, looking for any sign that the older alicorn was about to stir. But Celestia continued to slumber, and soon enough her hoof made contact with the scroll. With a mental cheer, she snatched up the letter and scooted back and away from the bed. Scrambling to her hooves, she carefully tucked the scroll behind her ear, taking great care to hide it under her mane.

When she was satisfied that her ill-gotten gains were out of sight, she blew out the candle and tiptoed from the room. She trotted off down the hall with a bounce in her step and a gleam in her eyes, feeling far more pleased with her act of burglary than she probably should have. Guards and servants bowed as she passed, none of them suspecting a thing. Luna had to suppress a giggle. Here she was, carrying on like a master thief trying to smuggle her plunder out from under their noses. Just for the fun of it, she crossed the last few rooms in more of a sly and slinking manner, trying to look as deliberately shifty as possible

By the time she reached her chambers, Luna was fully absorbed in her act. She looked over her shoulder constantly in case she was being tailed, and even took to ducking around corners and doubling back to cover her tracks. This caused a great deal of confusion for the guards posted outside her room. Walking up to them, Luna shifted her eyes left, then right, then left again. Finally, she gave them a conspiratorial wink.

“If anypony asks, you never saw me tonight,” she instructed, then leapt into her room and slammed the door.

Luna turned the lock and slid the deadbolt, then raced over to the windows and pulled the curtains shut. After a quick search of the room, which of course included checking under the bed and in every closet, she pulled the scroll free of her mane. Mission successful!

Grinning widely, she opened the scroll, promising that she would only take a quick peek. Maybe read over the first two lines, three at the most, to see if the matter was urgent. She took her first glimpse of the text, and her grin immediately fell.

“What in the world,” she muttered, rereading the initial line. The first thing she noticed was that the writing was positively atrocious. The letters were scrawled in harsh, uneven strokes that looked nothing like the impeccable claw-writing that Celestia had drilled into her son. Secondly, the letter seemed to be addressed to Spike himself, making her wonder why he would send it away.

Confusion turned to dismay as she reached the second line. Rarity. She recognized the name as one of Spike and Twilight’s friends. And she had been… kidnapped?! Her jocularity vanished in an instant, and Luna rapidly scanned through the rest of the letter, her stomach twisting as the situation was made clear. An Element Bearer held hostage. A ransom demanded for her safe return. And Spike was the one ordered to deliver it.

Luna’s mind was racing. She didn’t understand who these dogs were, or why they had targeted Rarity. Was it pure coincidence, or some deeper plot? How did Spike fit into the whole matter? She needed to get to the bottom of this, but how? Aside from her sister, the one pony in Canterlot most likely to know would be…

Leaping to her hooves, the alicorn rushed across the room and blasted the door off its hinges, the pieces nearly smashing into the guards positioned on either side. Both pegasi leapt back, thoroughly unnerved by their monarch’s irrational behavior and wild expression.

One of the stallions worked up the courage to approach. “Your… majesty? Is something the matter? What…”

“Summon Captain Shining Armour to me at once,” Luna ordered. “Fly with all haste, and bring him here even if you have to drag him yourselves! Go, now!”

Neither stallion waited to respond, but took to the air and shot down the hall in a flurry of wing beats.

Well, there's chapter two, and it looks as though not all was as it seemed. But what will happen next? Will Rarity and the dogs complete their mysterious yet sure to be convoluted scheme? Will the citizens of Ponyville riot in the streets? Will Luna jump to conclusions and destroy the entire planet? Will anypony ever acknowledge Sweetie's badass ransom note? Only time will tell.

3. Complications Arise

Chapter 3- Complications Arise

Rarity was feeling quite proud of herself. The plan, dare she say it, was proceeding spectacularly. The premise was in place, suspense and mystery had been established, all in all, the stage was set quite nicely. The only thing left was for the leading lady to kick up her hooves and wait for the star of the show to arrive.

The diamond dogs were huddled around the scroll containing her directions, whispering amongst themselves. No doubt they were ironing out the finer points of their villainous roles. Practicing their threatening taunts, reviewing their course of action, deciding how best to complement her role as a damsel.

Not that she had any such need to brainstorm or rehearse. Rarity knew exactly what to say and how to act. How could she not, when it was all she’d been able to think about for the past few weeks?

Settling back on the couch, she placed her hooves behind her head and let her thoughts wander. It made her giddy to think that it was actually happening. She could already imagine his triumphant arrival:

She was dangling in midair, her back hooves just a few inches from the ground. Her forelegs were shackled to a chain hanging from the ceiling, her hind legs similarly bound, her magic still sealed away.

The diamond dogs circled around her like sharks, all toothy grins and arrogance. They taunted and threatened her, saying that she would never be found, never be saved. She turned her head away to hide her tears.

Suddenly an alarmed howl echoed from further into the caverns. The dogs froze in place, exchanging worried looks before racing to the door. The last one locked it behind him, and she was left alone to wait and to wonder.

The sounds of battle erupted from outside. Angry snarls and barking, the thudding of blows and colliding bodies, and finally the fading sounds of frightened yelps. Then… silence.

Suddenly there was a crash as something struck the door. A brief pause, and then it was kicked open with flying splinters and the screech of breaking wood. Spike strode into the room with the magnificent poise of a conqueror, fire in his eyes and smoke blasting from his nostrils. His gaze fell upon her. In an instant all that anger gave way to relief, and then to affection. He took one step, then another, then broke into a run until he reached her. He pulled her into a thankful embrace, and she sighed happily at the feel of his claws around her.

He tilted his head back and loosed a thin stream of fire at the ceiling. The chain holding her glowed red, then a brilliant white, and finally broke away. Rarity dropped into Spike’s waiting arms. Lifting her bridal style, the dragon leaned in close. Her heart began to race.

“…Rarity…” he whispered into her ear.

She nearly swooned at the soft, reverent tone of his voice. The intensity of it sent shivers down her spine.

“Yes, Spike,” she said breathlessly.

“Miss Rarity,” he said again, only this time the voice didn’t sound like Spike at all. It sounded like…

Her eyes shot open, and she nearly jumped out of her fur at seeing the diamond dogs looking down at her in confusion. Thoroughly embarrassed, Rarity sputtered out an incoherent jumble of words as she flailed about, finally managing to get herself into a sitting position.

What on earth was she thinking? Daydreaming like a star-struck schoolfilly, and in front of these three, no less? They must think she was completely off her rocker.

“Eh heh heh heh, do forgive me. I was simply… um… lost in thought.” She tittered nervously.

“Oh,” Spot said with an understanding nod. “What were you thinking about? It must have been something nice, you were grinning and sighing a lot.”

Rarity blushed heavily. “Nothing! It was nothing at all. Now… uh… what were you saying, darling?”

The dogs exchanged a glance and finally shrugged. Rover held out her instructions.

“Well, you said we should get ready for second phase of plan, yeah? But problem is, we don’t have any second phases! Notes end after we bring you down here.”

Her brow furrowed. “Hmm, that’s certainly odd. I’m quite sure that I…” She trailed off in realization. That’s right. They wouldn’t have the second set of directions, now would they? After all, she’d purposely omitted them before this whole thing began.

“Well, you see boys,” she began. “I actually didn’t give you any further directions. I… I planned to, but then I decided that instead I’d wait until the kidnapping was already finished.”

“Ohhhh, that makes sense,” Fido said. “Give us less to read so we can focus on first part!”

“Partly, I suppose. But I also hoped that by waiting until we were already halfway into the plan, you would be less likely to refuse.”

Now the dogs looked even more confused than ever. “Refuse? Why do that? Is second part bad or something?”

This was turning out to be even more difficult than she thought. It was one thing to imagine it herself, it was another to try and explain it to others.

“It’s just that I was afraid you might find the second phase a bit silly… or… or even degrading,” she finally admitted.

Fido waved his paw reassuringly. “No worries, Miss Rarity,” he boasted. “We help you out no matter what!”

Rarity felt her nervousness ebb away. Now she felt like the silly one. How could she doubt these dogs for a moment? They’d followed her every direction with smiles on their faces and wags in their tails, of course she could trust them with this.

“Yeah,” Rover said. “Besides, it’s not silly at all! I mean, we just wait until the dragon brings the gems, then hand you over and we’re done, right?”

“I’m afraid not, darling,” she said with a grin. “You see, even if we were to disregard my own personal agenda, it would be a crime to let such a dramatic endeavor conclude in such a blasé fashion. On the contrary, such a story needs an exciting conclusion. Danger, swashbuckling, and maybe just a tiny bit of romance… and Phase Two will deliver that in spades.”

“Ooh, sounds fun! So what we gonna do?”

“We are not going to simply proceed with the deal. Instead, we are going to raise the stakes and ensure that Spike rescues me from your clutches in a most daring and heroic fashion!”

All three looked appropriately flabbergasted by her declaration. Not that she expected anything less. She was about to explain further when a noise came from the hallway outside. It sounded like the purposeful, angry sound of stomping feet. A distant shout reached their ears. Was it just her imagination, or was someone calling Rover’s name? The diamond dogs immediately tensed up, almost as if they recognized the sound and dreaded its source. Rover whimpered and covered his ears, turning to face the door with the look of a condemned criminal. Fido and Spot quickly moved to either side, blocking her from view.

There was a deafening slam as the door was flung open. “ROVER,” a heavily-accented, female voice boomed out. The dogs pressed closer together, their ears flat against their heads and their tails between their legs. Rarity craned her neck to the side, trying to peek between them.

Standing in the doorway was a large and decidedly angry cocker spaniel. She was dressed in a long, fluffy bathrobe with a great number of curlers in her fur. Her coat was white with brown splotches, and her chocolate-colored eyes were narrowed to slits as she glared.

“So. Here you are.” The dogs and even Rarity winced at her tone. It was dry and sharp as a flint, filled with accusation and disappointment.

“He- hello, Patches,” Rover stammered.

“Don’t ‘Patches’ me,” she snarled. “Where you been all night? You no eat’a your dinner! You don’t read’a the children their bedtime story! You just go runnin’ off into da’ tunnels sayin’ you got work to do. Well, you better tell me what’s…”

Rarity gulped as the dog’s eyes zeroed in on her. When she spoke again, her voice had dropped dangerously low. “Who’sa dat behind you?”

“Nobody, nobody at all,” Fido said desperately, waving his arms.

“Don’ta you go playin’ dumb with me, Fido! Or I give’a you just what I’ma gonna give him,” Patches warned. “I see somethin’ back there, somethin’ white an’ purple! Now what’sa that behind you?”

Rover looked over his shoulder and gave her an apologetic look, and then Patches shoved them aside and loomed over her. The dog’s eyes widened, and her face began turning a bright and angry red. Rarity knew this looked bad. Really, REALLY bad. Catching one’s husband late at night with an unfamiliar mare, especially one tied up and dressed in a skimpy negligee…

She shrank back against the couch as Patches balled up her fists, but the angry housewife spun on her heel and furiously slapped Rover upside the head. He clutched his head and howled, trying to duck away, but she quickly drew back and smacked him again.

“SO,” she roared. “This is what’a you do every night, eh? I wait for you to come home, thinkin’ you’re working overtime to support’a you family. But no, instead I find you here with friends, foolin’ around with’a some unicorn hussy!”

Spot and Fido inched closer, their paws held out beseechingly. “Hold on,” Spot pleaded. “Just let us explain-” Patches wheeled around and gave him a slap in return, nearly bowling the smaller dog over.

“Don’ta you tell me to hold on! You two bums are in just as much’a trouble as him! When I tell your wives about this…”

Her words soon devolved into a series of growl, yips and barks as she slipped into the diamond dogs’ own language, but Rarity didn’t need to understand to know that she was mighty pissed. Normally she would have taken great offense to being called a hussy, but now was not the time to be indignant. Now was the time to calm Patches down before someone was murdered.

“Uh, hello? Er… excuse me,” she said meekly, every survival instinct in her body insisting that she not draw attention to herself. The other diamond dogs looked up from where they cowered on the floor, and Rover frantically shook his head, gesturing for Rarity to stay quiet. But it was too late for second thoughts. Patches’ ear twitched in her direction, and she let out a low growl. She turned around and stomped back over to the couch. Reaching down, she grabbed Rarity by the shoulders and lifted her into the air. Rarity grit her teeth to keep from crying out at the dog’s rough grip and tried desperately to think of a way to calm her down.

“You gotta something ta say, floozy? Well, you better make it quick and’a make it good,” Patches said, shaking her roughly. “Because I’ma ‘bout three seconds from dragging your scrawny rump outta this den and tossin’ you into da forest as a manticore snack!”

“We-well, you see, this is all just a… a misunderstanding,” Rarity said haltingly. Her nervous stutter only seemed to anger Patches more, and she forced herself into a calmer tone. “First of all, madam, let me assure you that I have not and do not plan to engage in any funny business with your husband nor his friends.”

The painful grip on her shoulders lessened just a fraction, and she quickly pushed on. “In fact, you should be proud of them! They are actually working, and quite hard at that. And I assure you, they will be paid quite handsomely.”

The spaniel gave her a disbelieving look. “Oh, yeah? Doing what,” she asked, her accent thinning as her anger faded.

“They are working for me. You see, I had met the three of them several months ago, and hired them for the night to help me with a very special job...”

Patches gripped down harder as she bared her teeth. Rarity paled, wondering what she had said wrong.

‘I only said that I’d hired them for the night and… oh horseapples!’ Now the implications were clear, and she had just dug herself an even deeper hole.

“Not that kind of job! NOT THAT KIND OF JOB,” she desperately said.

The spaniel gave her another skeptical glare, but finally nodded and dropped her back onto the couch, crossing her arms sternly. “Fine. But now you gonna tell me everything about this’a job. Then I decide what to do with’a dese bums.”

Rover rested a paw on his wife’s arm. “It happened like this, dearie…”

Patches growled and slapped Rover’s paw away. “NO! You had all sorts’a time to tell me before. Now stand back and shut up,” she ordered. Turning back, she pointed down at Rarity like a vengeful god about to pass judgment.

“You… start explaining.”

With nothing to do but wait, Luna paced frantically up and down the hall. How long had it been since the letter arrived? An hour, two? She cursed herself for waiting so long. What if Spike had already confronted these dogs? What if their negotiations had turned sour? What if the worst had come to pass and she could have prevented it?

From down the hall she heard voices yelling and hooves pounding on carpet. Relief flooded through her as Shining Armour came barreling around the corner.

“Good… evening… princess,” he panted, falling into a quick bow. “Came… fast as… I could…”

She returned the greeting, waiting for him to catch his breath. Once he no longer looked on the verge of collapse, she got right to the point.

“Captain, my apologies for waking you at such an hour, but I am in dire need of your counsel. Tell me, does your sister speak or write to you often of her time in Ponyville?”

Although he looked puzzled by the question, Shining Armour nodded. “Yes, your majesty. I mean, she doesn’t tell me everything, but…”

“Has she ever mentioned creatures called diamond dogs,’ Luna interrupted.

“Diamond… dogs? Hmm, wait! Yeah, I do remember Twiley mentioning them. They’re a society of burrowers that live underground. Several different packs all living together, I guess.”

Luna didn’t like the sound of that. Just how many of these animals were there? Two dozen? Three? An entire army?

“How and when did your sister encounter them,” she asked.

Shining Armour looked down, trying to remember. “Well, the only time I heard about was quite awhile ago. I, um, don’t remember how long. And there might have been other times before or…”

“Just tell me what you remember Twilight saying,” Luna insisted.

The unicorn nodded. “Yeah, okay. It started when the dogs came across Rarity looking for gems. She does that, you know? Uses them for her business and everything.”

He could see Luna was becoming impatient, so he hurried on. “Anyway, these dogs, their livelihood comes from digging for gems also. I guess they found out that Rarity can locate them with her magic and decided they could use her. So that’s what made them want to try and enslave her.”

That little fact gave her pause. She had assumed that this was some reckless act of greed, and what she had been told seemed to support that. If the dogs wanted gems, and Rarity could find them, it would make sense they would try and abduct her. But then again…

“So they have tried kidnapping her once already,” she asked.

Shining Armour looked at her in confusion. “Wait, what do you mean once already?”

She shoved the note into his face. “Read this, quickly.”

His face paled as he looked over the ransom note. “Is this for real,” he asked. “After all this time, they’ve got her again?”

“It seems so,” Luna said. “You were saying?”

Shining Armour returned the note and scratched his head. “Well from what I heard, they managed to kidnap her and put her to work finding gems. My sis and her friends infiltrated the den to rescue her. But according to Twiley, Rarity had already taken care of them by the time she and her friends arrived.”

The more Luna heard, the more worried she became. Before she could inquire further, she noticed her guards shambling down the hall, exhausted from their flight.

“Perhaps it would be best if we continued this in private,” she said, turning to the door.

Shining Armour nodded and followed her inside. Stoking the fire, she waited for him to make himself comfortable before taking a seat herself. Though outwardly calm, her mind was racing. Judging by what she’d been told, she already had a likely yet unpleasant idea of what was going on. But she needed to know for sure before jumping to any conclusions.

Shining Armour sighed. “I just don’t get it. Why would the diamond dogs come back after all this time? Didn’t they learn their lesson? And why is Spike the one they want to deal with? Do they think he’s less of a threat because of his age? That he’ll be more willing to cooperate because of his feelings for Rarity?”

Luna held up a hoof to silence him. “If we are to answer those questions, we’ll need to start from the beginning. Tell me everything you know about these dogs and what transpired between them and your friends.”

She listened intently as Shining Armour continued in-depth. Since it was only his recollection of Twilight’s account, there was little to work with. Unfortunately, it seemed to fit perfectly with her own conclusions. Especially the way their little adventure ended.

The alicorn shook her head. “This is worse than I imagined. Rarity and even Equestria itself may be in serious danger.”

“Are you sure, princess? I mean, her being kidnapped is definitely a serious matter. But assuming they pose a threat to the whole kingdom? If you’d heard what I have about these diamond dogs… I mean they’re not exactly dangerous. They sound more like bumbling dopes.”

“Which makes this new development all the more serious,” Luna said. “Consider it. From what you have been told, these dogs are impulsive and disorganized. They are not the type to think ahead or devise some complex scheme. But look at what they’ve done, seeking her out and taking her in the dead of night. The organization and planning they’ve shown in the letter, the threats to her safety. It seems impossible that they could come up with such a plan on their own.”

“Wait… are you saying that somebody else might be calling the shots?”

Luna nodded. She began to walk in place, hooves stamping into the carpet. “Yes. And what’s more, I believe that this entire ransom plan is nothing more than a feint, meant to distract us!”

“Distract us from what? And why,” Shining Armour asked.

“Think about it. There is little they can demand that could equal the prize they have already taken. Need I remind you, Captain, that all six Elements of Harmony must be present for their power to be unleashed?

Shining Armour’s mouth twisted into a grimace as he caught on to her line of thinking. “And by keeping one of the bearers held prisoner, they’ve taken our greatest weapon out of commission!”

Luna stepped over to the window, staring out towards Ponyville. “Exactly. The gems they have demanded are a pittance, true. But it will take time to gather the ransom, to meet and negotiate. Their true plan could be executed at leisure while they tug us about like puppets on strings.”

“But why Rarity,” he muttered. “Twiley would be the obvious choice. I mean, her magic’s definitely the strongest, and she’s sort of the leader of the group. Or heck, why not just capture all of them? They had the opportunity.”

Luna turned away from the window, shaking her head. “No, that would have been far too conspicuous a move. By limiting themselves to a single mare, I’ve no doubt they hoped to keep us fixated on this ransom plan, rather than their real motives.”

“As for why they targeted Rarity,” she sighed. “I fear that choice was made out of personal grievance rather than logic.

“What do you mean?”

Luna’s expression was grave. “You said Rarity defeated them herself, did you not? I don’t suppose you know how?”

“I don’t think anypony but Rarity actually knows.” Shining Armour closed his eyes as if thinking back to the conversation. “Twiley never mentioned it. Only that she had those dogs groveling and begging for mercy.”

Shining Armour paused and looked at her worriedly. “Wait… you don’t think… that they’d want revenge after their last encounter,” he said. “And that when they were told to kidnap one of the bearers, they couldn’t resist getting their paws on her again.”

Luna looked to the side, shame in her eyes. “I am certain that they were just waiting for an opportunity such as this. A humiliating defeat can easily fill one’s heart with resentment and hatred. I know all too well how strong the desire for vengeance can become.”

Shining Armour frowned, knowing that she was reflecting on her time and actions as Nightmare Moon. Luna was thankful he refrained from offering any sympathy or condolences

“I still feel like we’re missing something,” he finally said. “If this really is about keeping us off-guard, why would they even bother with the ransom note in the first place? Wouldn’t it be stealthier to just make off with Rarity and then lay low?”

Luna had to admit, it was a sensible question. But Shining Armour had already continued without giving her the chance to respond.

“And if they really wanted to delay and distract us, why would they already set a meeting place and time?” Shining Armour dug his hoof into the carpet. “It doesn’t make sense! It’s like they want to be found, like they’re… luring… Spike… right to them…”

The stallion’s head snapped up, his eyes wide and frantic. Luna leaned back in shock as he lunged forward and grabbed her by the shoulders, all decorum temporarily forgotten.

“Princess! I… I think I know what they’re going to do,” he said quickly. “The reason for the note, for Spike, for all that!”

“What is it? Speak!” Luna was finding his panic infectious, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

“Even if these dogs keep the elements from uniting, it’s not like their plan can proceed unopposed,” he explained. “They’d still have to go through you and Princess Celestia. Unless they have some kind of leverage over you both.”

Luna gasped. Of course… Spike! It was the perfect way to keep them from interfering. Pulling free of Shining Armour’s grasp, she raced back to the desk and snatched up the note. She read through it again, suddenly noticing the sinister undertones. With Rarity’s safety on the line, Spike would be forced to meet them alone, at the very entrance of their den. Far from help, far from safety, and easily captured. And then they would be powerless. Celestia would never risk her son’s life, nor would Luna.

“He’s walking into a trap,” Shining Armour said lowly.

Luna spun around, her mane billowing out behind her. “We have to act immediately!”

Shining Armour nodded. “Yes, your majesty. I’ll triple the watch along the city walls and increase the patrols in the streets. Whatever is about to happen, we’ll be ready.”

“Good. But we will not simply be waiting for them to make the first move. As soon as our defenses are prepared, you and I will be leading a pre-emptive attack on the diamond dogs’ lair.”

A small hint of doubt crept over the stallion’s face. “Princess, are you certain that’s wise? We don’t know what might be waiting for us down there. It might not be safe for you-”

Luna scowled and tossed her mane impatiently. “Dangerous or not, do you expect me to sit idly by while my subject and my nephew suffer at the whims of those brutes? I think not! Go to the barracks, mobilize the unicorn black ops squadron. I want them ready to depart for Ponyville within the hour.”

“But, your majesty, shouldn’t we at least inform Princess Celestia before-”

She loomed over him, eyes glowing white and horn sparking. “That was an order, Captain,” she said coldly. “Not a request.”

Swallowing thickly, Shining Armour gave a shaky salute and galloped out of the room.

Closing the door to her chambers, Luna wondered if maybe she should inform Celestia about what had happened and what she was planning to do. But the more she considered it, the more she realized how badly it would complicate things. If awakened now, Celestia would be fatigued and disoriented. It would take time to fully explain the situation, time they couldn’t afford to waste. Even then, hearing that Spike was in danger would likely send her into a panic, making her less capable of dealing with the situation.

No, it was best if she handled this herself.

‘I’m sorry, Tia. But don’t worry, I’ll take care of things and get them both back safe and sound,’ she promised.

Opening her wardrobe, she leaned in and touched her horn to a small seal carved into the back. A touch of magic, and the rune glowed as the wall slid away, revealing a secret room. Hanging from the wall was a set of heavy, gleaming armour. As Nightmare Moon, she had worn it to inspire terror and dread. Now she would do so again, and these dogs would know what it meant to incite the wrath of a goddess.

Putting her crown and necklace aside, she began fitting the armour over her body.

“If you mongrels think you can get away with this, you are sorely mistaken,” she hissed, slamming the helmet down over her head.

There was a deafening crack, and a beam of violet energy lanced out into the night. The assembled voices quieted instantly, their owners all turning to face the unicorn that stood framed in the library’s doorway.

Twilight looked out at the crowd of excited and frightened faces. She couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed at the emotions being directed her way. The fear and uncertainty that came from being awakened in the night to some nameless danger, the hope and the trust that she and her friends could make everything alright.

The pressure made her feel nauseous.

Still, she had managed to temporarily calm them down. Now she just had to reassuringly explain that there was nothing to fear and that they should all return to their homes. Easy, right?

She cleared her throat and spoke in a loud, reasonable voice. “Everypony, could I please have your attention? I know that you may have heard some rather… disconcerting rumors from my friend, Pinkie Pie. However, whatever you were told was likely exaggerated and largely incorrect.”

A stallion near the middle raised himself higher. “Are you saying that Pinkie lied to us about the emergency,” he asked in a hoarse shout. “That she came around banging on our doors as some kind of prank?”

“No,” Twilight said quickly before other voices could chime in. “She merely got carried away. It’s true, a rather serious situation has arisen, and it does involve a group of canines known as the diamond dogs. However, the Elements of Harmony will soon be dealing with the problem. There is no cause for alarm nor any threat to the residents of Ponyville.”

So far, so good. The crowd was almost completely mollified. Just a few more reassurances and…

“Hey, what was all that shouting out here?” Sweetie Belle squeezed past Twilight and gaped at the assembled crowd. “Wow! What’s everypony doing out here?”

“Oh, Twilight’s telling them about what happened to Rarity,” Pinkie said.

Sweetie rolled her eyes and let out a long, frustrated breath. “Are you serious? I thought you said I wouldn’t have to explain it anymore,” she said to Twilight. Grumbling under her breath, she stomped further out into the street. The crowd turned their attention to the filly as she prepared to speak.

Twilight’s eyes widened. “No! Sweetie, wait! Don’t tell them…”

“A BUNCH OF STUPID DOGS KIDNAPPED MY SISTER AS PART OF THEIR STUPID PLAN AND RAN OFF WITH HER TO THEIR STUPID LAIR,” she yelled. “THEY MADE ME WRITE A STUPID RANSOM NOTE BUT STUPID SPIKE BURNED IT UP AND I’M NOT TELLING THE STUPID STORY ANYMORE! HAPPY NOW?”

It was like she’d set off a sonic rainboom in the middle of the street. Every one of the assembled ponies was yelling and babbling in a discordant mess of noise. The chatter finally began to die, and the crowd looked back and forth between Twilight and Sweetie.

A mare in the front finally spoke. “What did they do to her? What do they want?”

“Well, it happened like this,” Sweetie said, back to her usual cheery self. She crossed her hooves and pressed her hind legs together.

“They had Rarity all tied up, and they had one of her scarves wrapped over her mouth. Good thing too, or she would have been yelling their ears off! Then I showed up, and they told me about how they wanted all these gems before they let her go. So I wrote the note, and then we left the house and…”

The mare’s face paled. “Wait, you mean they were INSIDE your home?”

Sweetie nodded. “Uh huh! They snatched her right out of bed!”

The mare let out a piercing shriek. “They were actually lurking around town,” she asked, her eyes darting in every direction. “They know where we live!”

“Well, duh!” Sweetie scoffed, as if she couldn’t believe how dense her audience was.

Pinkie bounced up alongside her. “And don’t forget, those doggies probably got good noses,” she added. “They could probably sniff us out no matter where we were! Ooh, they’d be good at hide and seek!”

The crowd teetered once more on the brink of panic. Ponies pushed and shoved, trying to draw closer together and looking in every direction, as if they expected a horde of dogs to come loping out of the shadows.

“Ohhh boy,” Twilight muttered. She needed to get this under control. Scratch that, the first thing she needed to do was keep it from getting any worse. Levitating Pinkie Pie and Sweetie Belle, she quickly shoved them both back inside.

“Don’t let them say anything else,” she hissed at Rainbow Dash.

“Everypony! Please calm down and listen,” she yelled. After several repeated attempts, the crowd settled back into a tense silence.

“Now I know this might seem frightening, but I PROMISE there is no reason to be afraid. We will get Rarity back, and we will make sure these dogs never try anything like this again.”

“You sure,” Applejack said. “I thought you were the one who said that if’n we let these dogs get cocky, they’d jus’ start trying again and again and again…”

“Ugh, Applejack! This is one of those times were honesty is NOT the best possible,” she whispered back.

“How can you be so sure,” a stallion demanded. “How do you even know about these dogs anyway?”

“Because we’ve dealt with them before,” Twilight snapped. “We’ve already gone into their tunnels and confronted them. We are qualified to handle…”

“Tunnels,” a colt said. “What do you mean tunnels?”

These interruptions were really beginning to get on her nerves. Why did mobs have to be so unruly? Forcing down her temper, Twilight tried to explain.

“Tunnels, you know, passageways underground? That’s where they live. They’re subterranean.” She pantomimed a burrowing motion with her hooves. “They dig. Understand?”

She realized that had been the wrong thing to say. The crowd jumped back in unison, their eyes locked fearfully on the ground.

“So they could be right beneath us!

“They could be digging around under Ponyville right now!”

“Are they going to come tunneling up through the floors and into our houses!”

“No! I mean, yes! Well, theoretically. But a network of tunnels beneath the town would likely collapse beneath the weight of the buildings. So it’s obvious that hasn’t happened yet. And if they were to try, we would immediately know when buildings began vanishing into sinkholes,” Twilight said.

Unfortunately, the crowd found that less comforting than she hoped. Apparently, they interpreted the word ‘theoretically’ as ‘could happen any damn second.’

“They’re going to come bursting out of the ground and drag us down into their caverns!”

“GRR… NO THEY ARE NOT,” Twilight screamed at the top of her lungs, overcoming the crowd by sheer volume. Stunned, the crowd once more fell into silence. Twilight stood there panting, knowing that this might be her last chance to restore order. She had to convince them.

“Now look,” she said as sternly as she could manage. “This is all a bunch of nonsense. I want you to listen, and I want you to pay attention. Understand?”

The crowd meekly nodded.

“Good. First of all, the diamond dogs are not burrowing around beneath our hooves. Their den is several miles away, and I assure you that they have neither the time nor the reason to extend their tunnels all the way over here. Period. End of story. No tunnels underneath us.”

She tapped the ground with a hoof. “Got it?”

The crowd nodded again.

Twilight smiled, glad to see that they were finally listening to reason. “Excellent. Secondly, they will NOT be staging any mass abductions of Ponyville citizens. I know they kidnapped Rarity, I’m not denying that. But let me remind you, this is an isolated incident.”

Even if they wanted to do it again, which they WON’T,” she said, giving Applejack a pointed look. “They simply don’t have the numbers to pull off that kind of endeavor.”

“Are… are you sure,” one pony asked. “Just how many of them are there?”

“Hmm, you know, that is a very good question!” Twilight rubbed her chin, trying to remember how many they had seen in the tunnels.

“Let me see, I think we saw roughly twelve to fifteen of them, but it’s quite unlikely that we actually encountered every member of the pack. Especially if you take into account the fact that all the dogs we encountered were males. Assuming they use typical canine gender hierarchies, there must be a similar number of females present as well, not to mention offspring.”

Lost in her own musings, Twilight failed to notice that the crowd was becoming increasingly anxious as the potential number of dogs increased. Applejack nudged her in the side. “Umm, Twi? Din’t you just say that tellin’ the truth might not be a good idea right ‘about now?”

“So we could estimate the pack size as being somewhere between thirty to forty individuals.” Twilight paused, her eyes lighting up. “But wait! That might hold true for wild dogs, but for the diamond dogs, we have to factor in their sentience! Considering their behavior and intelligence, it stands to reason that they would overcome their territorial instincts for the sake of the group. In that event, their society is likely made up of a loosely-knit collection of packs, just like our own settlements!”

“You… you mean there could be a whole… whole city of these things? Hundreds of them?”

“Or maybe even thousands,” Twilight beamed. “Isn’t that exciting? Just think of the anthropological…”

She trailed off, the smile vanishing as she came to an unpleasant realization. This was not a scholarly presentation, and she had accidentally just admitted that yes, there were more than enough dogs to swarm over Ponyville and steal them all away.

“Umm, hee hee. I don’t suppose you could all just forget that last part,” she asked sheepishly.

Unsurprisingly, the crowd devolved into a cacophony of shouts and screams. Twilight tried to restore order, but this time it looked as if the ponies were too far gone. That is, until another mare began pushing her way to the front, brandishing a megaphone

Twilight could barely contain her relief. If anypony could fix things, it would be the mayor.

“Everypony, quiet down,” she announced. “This is no time to panic! This is a time for discipline!”

“Right,” Twilight nodded.

The crowd stilled, anxious to have somepony taking charge.

“A time for unity!”

She nodded again, glad to see that cooler heads would prevail.

“A time to prepare for the worst!”

“Wait… what?”

“You heard Twilight Sparkle! An army of dogs could already be on its way, there could be thousands of them coming right at us, or under us from any direction! Panicking isn’t going to help us! We have to be ready for them!”

The crowd began to nod, murmuring their agreement.

“Um, I never actually said that,” Twilight tried to argue.

But nopony was listening to her anymore. Pulling Derpy Hooves to the front of the crowd, the mayor pointed dramatically into the sky.

“Quickly, my dear! Fly to Canterlot as fast as your wings can take you. Tell Princess Celestia that she is our only hope! We’re outnumbered, surrounded, barely holding our ground in the face of insurmountable odds!”

Twilight blanched. They weren’t really going to tell Celestia, were they? “No, wait,” she said. “You’re overreacting!”

Derpy nodded and took wing as the crowd cheered her on. Twilight tried to magically drag her back, but the pegasus was already out of range.

“The rest of us need to ready the defenses! We’ll make our stand at City Hall! We’ll barricade the streets, board up the houses, and dig trenches to slow those dogs down! Our best chance is to buy enough time for the princess to come to the rescue.”

“Stop! Have you all gone crazy,” Twilight screamed.

The crowd ignored her, whipped into a survivalist frenzy and raring to go.

“Out only hope is to stick together! So are you with me?”

The townsfolk let out a unanimous cheer, throwing their hooves into the air.

“Then let’s get to it,” the mayor cried. She quickly pointed to Caramel, Snips and Snails.

“You, you and you: panic! The rest of you, follow me!”

The crowd surged off like a multicolored wave of insanity. Twilight slumped to the ground, staring after them and wondering how things had gotten so quickly out of control.

She was vaguely aware of somepony shuffling up to her left, and she wearily turned to see Rainbow Dash grinning nervousl, wings twitching like she’d just been caught raiding the cookie jar.

“Um, Twi? We might… uh… we might have a little problem.”

Twilight didn’t want to know. She just wanted to crawl under her desk, pull her blanket over her head and wait for the world to end.

“The entire town is going stark-raving mad,” she finally said. “Rarity is still kidnapped, and before long the princess will get dragged into this mess, probably convinced that we’re under siege. We’ve already got more than a ‘little problem.’ What else could possibly go wrong?”

Dash only pointed back inside. Twilight followed her hoof, and a cold burst of fear shocked her back into lucidity as she stared at an empty couch.

At some point during all the confusion, Spike had disappeared.

Author's Note

Just about to head out on a cross-state trip to spend Christmas with the family, so I didn't get to re-read and revise this chapter quite as closely as I'd like. Hopefully it's passable and everyone enjoys.

Whatever you celebrate, happy holidays and see you next year!