Surprise: No pun Intended.

I don't need a chapter name, do I? So no chapter names, just... I dunno, no chapter names.

Anyway, I'm Surprise Pie, as you probably guessed from the name I chose for this... Book. I live in Ponyville, living in Ponyville, there is, uh, a creature, of the strangest of origins, monster, that's what he is! Hate him, ah, my granddaughter, she lives here in Ponyville, with me, well... With the Cakes, but still, I am around, oh, forty years old, but, ah, I still appear to be around, oh, twenty. God, I sound so damn Mary sue! This, ah! This is not what I wish to convey at all! Dammit.

I'm just here, to tell, a story. So that everyone may hear it. For the world to examine, and criticize.

How about I start from somewhere a bit... Better, than introducing myself? I might be able to write that better, instead of sounding like a moronic lifeless Mary Sue. Yeah, good idea, me.

Okay, I used to live in a small town, I... Don't remember the name, but I remember most of the details, there were about two hundred of us in this portion of our little town, there was a larger portion, usually considered a separate town though, I guess the, smaller, town was a bit jealous. None of my friends lived in my portion of town, the smaller one, that is, I met them whilst visiting a relative, they were very nice, so yeah, after that I flew over as often as possible, every Tuesday and Friday, eventually.

Let's see... There were three mares and three stallions in our little group, Golden Bell, Butterflys, and I were the mares, the stallions were Borealis, Apple Grass, and Dusky Pages, it was Friday when it happened, out little group gathered together, chatting, and laughing, playing. When it started to rain, now, the weather wasn't controlled, back than, like it is now, we didn't have that kind of ability, us pegasi, so the weather was random. Golden immediately offered to let me stay through the rain, back then, it could last for days, and flying, or even walking in it could be very precarious, so my parents wouldn't be worried about me, considering I was with my friends, it was a nice thought, but we decided to see if we could tell whether or not the rain would last very long.

My first thought was whether I simply lost it, or if I was hallucinating, so I asked my friends, I remember the words fairly clearly.

"Uh, guys? Is that normal?"

The rain was not the bluish tinted clear-ish color it would normally be, and here is that supposedly dramatic moment... It was brown. Like chocolate milk brown.

"Am I hallucinating?"

I think they replied something along the lines of, "If you're hallucinating, we are too." It was funny at the time, so I giggled, I didn't giggle much after that, when I did laugh, it was mostly hysterical. Eh, I still sound Mary Sue. Anyway, I wandered out side, cautiously, it wasn't normal rain, so it seemed alright, to me, but, ah, I was a bit... Crazy, if you know what I mean.

I tried to catch the rain on my tongue, and found it was, indeed, chocolate milk. I called my friends outside, and we walked towards the main part of town, oh, right, we always met up in this big run down mansion, which we worked on cleaning up. The mansion sat in a large park, a good walk from the main square. Walking through part of the town, we saw nothing, all the houses were shut, the windows closed, it was very quiet... Frighteningly so.

We looked at our surroundings, closely, to try, and spot, anypony, anypony at all... but we saw nopony, then a voice called out, from behind us...

"Hello, little ponies."

We all did the thing most ponies do when startled, we start, a half jump as well as a half turn, and then scatter, sprinting in different directions, able to tell exactly which way each other was going, and avoiding that path, a saving instinct, it makes it harder for predators to catch us, because, you now, we all went in different directions! Confusing predators. The voice from before laughed, and I noticed I was headed straight for it, ponies do that sometimes, when we are frightened and we startle, head towards the danger, rather than away from it, I stopped moving.

And looked up, I forever regret not turning and sprinting another way, after I looked up, I couldn't move, for fright.

Above me, like a tower, was a strange creature, he had a lion's paw, and eagle claw, a goat leg, and a lizard leg, a dragon tail, a bat's wing, a Pegasus wing, and a head like that of a pony, he had a single fang, and two antlers, one like a deer, the other like a goat, or something else, perhaps. His eyes were that of a madpony, they were red, with golden whites, and no pupil. Ponies first startle, and run, but if they fright again, they freeze, as though hoping they won't be seen.

I did just that when I ended up in front of him, I couldn't move, I couldn't scream, I couldn't do anything, all I could do; was stand there, and hope he would not see me. He saw me.

"Well! What have we here?~" He asked, a little sing song in his voice.

"Uh-um..." I was unable to say anything.

"Well speak up!" He cried, "I don't have all day, you know."

He waved his paw around, "Do you like it? A signature trick of mine." He pointed out the pink clouds, "That, is cotton candy."

I managed to say something, "Um, it tastes good?"

His grin seemed about to split his face in two, it frightened me all the more.

"My chaos wouldn't be the same without it!" He conjured a paper bag by snapping his claw, he began munching on chocolate milk, yes, munching, not drinking, like popcorn. I believe it was shaped that way as well.

"Hey!" That was Borealis, thinking I was in trouble, the big lout. "Over here!" He was trying to get the creatures attention, so that I could run, stupid stupid stupid... I'm getting off track, sorry. Technically, I wasn't in trouble, yet, just frightened. And I suppose I can stop calling him, 'the creature?' You've all watched the show, so you probably know that I'm talking about Discord, the moronic idiot who decided to flip the world around and wear it as a hat.

The- oops, Discord, heh, turned, and eyed Borealis with distaste, "Interesting, most of you scream and run, you're yelling at me to look at you."

I yelled at Borealis, "I'm fine! Get out of here!" I then ran as fast as possible in the opposite direction of Borealis.

I'm not sure what happened after that... It's just a fast blur, but I remember leaving the ground, and being suspended, then being moved so I was face to face Borealis. I was being gripped by something furry, I literally only remember the texture... I suppose it was Discord's paw, Borealis was suspended by a glittery gold magic, and then, both of us were flung out, tossed, I managed to spread my wings in time, but not Borealis, he plummeted to the ground in a flurry of frightened limbs, I tried to catch him... I did, really. But pegasi aren't made to carry loads heavier than themselves, so I was unable to keep us from slamming into the ground, I landed on top of him, and I immediately jumped off him. Concern, my only emotion.

"Are you alright?!" Pony instinct, check their partner, then themselves, after a quick  glance I seemed alright, but he groaned.

"No, why don't you kiss it better?" he asked, teasing, that was something about our little group, Butterflys isn’t the kind of pony for getting married, so the teasing was started by Golden, who decided I and Borealis were perfect for one another, anyway, I snorted, and turned around, just to see Golden Bell ram into Discord's leg, let's see if I can piece it together properly...

Golden seemed to run as fast as she possibly could, faster than I thought possible from her, into Discord's leg, he half turned, and smacked her hard, she flew across the road, slamming into a metal fence, this all happened in about... Three seconds, I had no time to stop it, I wish I could have stopped her, flown and caught her, saved her, and Dusky, from the crushing horror that happened next, her body was pierced by the fence post, she didn't just hit it! And she jerked wildly, her piercing scream broke through my trance.

I called out her name, a shot of horror, pain, and despair racking through my heart, my hooves pounded the ground as I ran towards her, rivers of blood were pouring down her side, her upper half and lower half laying limp, she was still screaming, her eyes held a blank horror.

...

It's... Hard to remember these things, and it all happened so fast... It hurts. a lot... I'm sorry, let's get through this part as fast as possible.

Tears were starting to fall down my face, I was hiccuping as well, I flew over the fence, wings flapping erratically, and I grabbed her under the shoulders, and pulled, she slipped up the post some, but it hurt too much for her, and she cried out for me to stop, so I did, landing on the ground, my eyes lodged on her stomach, a sickening realization coming over me, Golden had been pregnant, her and Dusky were going to get married, and she was with foal. I- I'm ashamed to say I promptly vomited.

"Weak stomach?" It was teasing, he was teasing me, it sent a burn through my body, a spark, and anger, a hate. Hate is a hard thing for ponies to feel, we are specifically built to reject hatred, 'Princess' Celestia has a special guard, only ponies who have felt hatred are allowed to be in it, in short, they are her master assassins, as well as her special guard, willing to do literally anything for her.

"I hate you." I spoke words promising vengeance, and pain, and misery.

He held his... hands, I guess, nothing else to call 'em, except 'paw and claw.' really, up in mock defense, and he 'tutted', "Now then! Those are some strong words, don't you think?"

"Shut up."

In our group, we have the couple, Golden and Dusky, twenty-four and twenty-seven, respectively, I'm nineteen, the youngest, Borealis is twenty, as is Butterflys, with Apple being twenty-two, a nice age range, old (Dusky) to young, (Me).

Discord continued speaking, despite my protest, "So beautiful! Wish I could paint, so I could capture this moment forever, which wall might I have put it on? Perhaps the east wall, on the outside, so the sun can look upon her every morning!"

I made a hissing sound with my teeth, "Monster, she was pregnant you know."

He stopped making noises entirely, he even seemed to stop breathing, within view was Dusky, curled in a ball, shivering and whimpering, as though begging the world, the universe, whatever Godly being may be up there, for what he just saw to not be real, it was all wrong, it didn't happen, right? Of course it didn't, he was going to get up and Golden would be standing there, alive.

He spoke, then, a soft, quiet word, full of regret, "Oh..."

I continued to watch her body, watch her breaths steady, her eyes, so full of life, slowly draining, I stared into her eyes, she had stopped screaming, at some point, she just watched me...

Her eyes were... Blue, blue as the sky...

I'm getting off track...

I don't remember how long I sat there, watching her eyes fade, and the golden sparkle of her mane turn dull, and coppery.

But I eventually felt a hoof rest on my shoulder, and a gentle voice break through the ache.

"Surprise, we should get somewhere safe, before he comes back." Borealis, he spoke gently, is a somewhat reassuring voice, but I wouldn't move, I just sat there, not budging.

Sighing, he pulled me onto his back, and began walking to the old mansion.

A hissed word, now, we can't literally hiss, but I mean a low, harsh words pushed between gritted teeth, try it, sounds kinda hissy, 'hissing' would be just breath pushed through gritted teeth.

"We can't leave her!" Dusky spoke through his teeth, as mentioned earlier.

"We have too, I need to get Surprise somewhere safe, then we can come back and get her." Borealis sounded dull, half asleep.

Dusky growled. "And?! we're just going to leave her where that monster can get to her?"

"She's dead Dusky! We need to take care of the living first."

"When did you become-"

"Both of you shut up." I muttered harshly.

They stopped talking, and I slid off Borealis' back.

We continued to walk towards the mansion.

I think I asked where the others were, because Borealis answered, "The mansion."

Nothing much happened after that...

We stayed in the mansion for and hour or so, then we buried Golden...

She was the only one to get a proper burial, the others...

Not so much.