"Nurse Bloomheart to Surgical Ward. Nurse Bloomheart to Surgical Ward," the comm yelled out across the hospital.
"Ugh, really? Feels like I'm the only nurse here sometimes. No offense, Trina," Bloomheart told her associate.
"None taken. I know how you feel. Last week I actually was the only nurse on staff," Trina replied. "They really should take these comms out of the break room though. We can hear them enough in the halls without them blasting right in here. Break room my flank."
"Hah! Yeah. Probably why I don't even come in here that often. I'll usually hang out in one of the waiting rooms. Nopony seems to bother me while I'm there. They usually think that I'm actually trying to do work," Bloomheart explained.
"Really? Damn. I should try that out sometime. Everypony comes here to get me cause they know this is where I go. Honestly. I think that without us two the entire place would come apart." Trina took a sip of her copy and let out a sigh that you can only let out after working a twelve hour shift.
"Nurse Triage to Emergency Ward. Nurse Triage to Emergency Ward," the comm yelled out.
"Gotta go!" Trina yelled out, looking instantly revitalized. She dashed out the room, leaving Bloomheart to sip her coffee by herself.
"Wonder how long I have before they call for me again," Bloomheart wondered. Normally she wouldn't put off her nurse duties like this, but she had been working for eight hours without any rest. At that point the amount she cared about her job was equal to how awake she was.
"Nurse Bloomheart to-Oh. Cancel that, Nurse Bloomheart. Nurse Salve is here," the comm said in the most beautiful tone ever.
"Ah. Bless you Nurse Salve, whoever you are." Bloomheart started to lay her head down on the desk and rest her eyes. It would only be a couple minutes.
"Hey Bloomy!" somepony yelled at her.
"Gah!" she yelled out. "I wasn't sleeping! I was just resting my eyes!"
"Don't worry, Bloomy. I won't tell. Can you do the same?" the pony asked. It took Bloomheart a moment to clear her eyes before realizing that she was talking to Cathy the Intern.
"Sure. What is it?"
"Well, I'm sure that my coltfriend has a little special something he'll be doing for Hearth's Warming Eve. Something possibly involving a ring perhaps," she said, bouncing around.
"Congrats," Bloomheart replied halfheartedly. "Wait, who're you dating again?"
"Dr. Suave Studewell," Cathy said dreamily. "Wouldn't that be perfect?"
"What? No. That's not gonna happen," Bloomheart told her. "That stallion is so loose and doesn't stay with a mare for more than a month. You're time with him is running out, so don't get yourself hyped up."
"What makes you say that this time it isn't different?" the hopeful mare asked.
"He was just hitting on me three days ago. He's been doing that ever since I've started working here, even after I told him I was married. He says he's just 'checking in' whenever he asks. Hell, reporting him to HR doesn't work since he manages to woo his way out each time."
"Oh." Cathy looked down on the floor, feeling like the bridesmaid and never the bride.
"Hey. Don't feel bad. You're young, look great, and still have your energy this late in your shift. Most ponies who work this job can't say the same. I know that I'd have quit a long time ago if it weren't for my little pick me up," Bloomheart told her.
"Really? What's that?"
"Call for Nurse Bloomheart. Call for Nurse Bloomheart," the comm interrupted.
"Geez. Sometimes I wish your mom would just say things once over that thing and not repeat everything over that noisy mic of hers."
"You think that's bad? She actually does the exact same thing at home after every sentence," said Cathy. "We don't know why, but we think it might be her OCD acting up. Luckily she's really good at being an announcer. You should see her at soccer events. Everypony thinks that she's just really excited about the game."
"That explains so much," Bloomheart said, thinking about all the awkward conversations she would have with Cathy's mom. "Anyway, I better get that call. See ya, Cathy." Bloomheart went to one of the phones in the hallway and picked it up. "Bloomheart here. I have a call."
"I'll patch you through," the secretary told her. A couple of beeps later and her call went through.
"Hey honey! How's your shift?" Pepperoni, her husband, asked.
"Oh. It's been hectic. I've had to help give three wards their medication today without any help. Honestly. It's like nopony actually wants to work at Ponyville Hospital. Feels like nopony works here sometimes."
"Sorry to hear that. If it makes you feel any better I made a Veggie Pizza with your name on it. Keeping it in the kitchen just for you."
"Aww. Thank you, dear." Pepperoni knew how to cheer her up. "Has it been busy today?"
"Yeah. It's lunchtime right now. I think I'll start getting customers to start clearing out within the next hour. The special promotion we did for Hearth's Warming Day is really working though. Last night we were packed, remember?"
"Yeah. Hopefully when Cleversong comes home for the holidays we can really get help when it gets bad."
"Oh don't worry about us. I just wish we could somehow help you out over there. It'd be really awesome if they just allowed us non-medical ponies to help out."
"Pepperoni, dear, I'm fairly sure you would want somepony who actually know the difference between hypothermic and hyperthermic when dealing with your health."
"What's the difference?"
"And that's why you make pizzas and I help save lives." The two laughed at that joke and then talked a little more about the coming holidays before hanging up. Bloomheart looked energized once more and was ready to continue her rounds when she came across Cathy again.
"So, that's what gets you up again?" Cathy asked.
"Eeyup. My better half has always kept me sane with this job. Ever since I started interning myself he's always been there to support me. Always calls at about noon to keep me in high spirits." Bloomheart loved that bit about her husband. No matter how many quirks he had, he always knew how to care for his family. "So, you gonna dump Dr. Studwell before he does the same to you?"
"Nah. I'm gonna see how far I can go. I won't be heartbroken if he does dump me though. It's just fun to date the most gorgeous colt in the entire hospital." Cathy started to slip out of it again, but realized she was making a scene. "Anyway, I'm off in an hour. What about you?"
"Same here. I just need to finish checking with the patients and see how the seniors are doing and I'll be set. I'll be free for the rest of the day then." Bloomheart felt happy that she was getting off soon, but then realized her horrible mistake by telling Cathy about being free.
"NEAT! We can totally do stuff together afterward. I know this neat place where we can totally shop for gifts for Hearth's Warming Day. How's that sound?" Bloomheart saw Cathy's expression and knew there was no way out of this. She just revealed that she had nothing to do and couldn't bear to destroy the mare's hopes and dreams. That would come later.
"Sure. Why not?" she said, defeated.
"Awesome! I just need to figure out how to sign off this form and I'll be done!" Cathy said.
"You...you just need to sign your name at the bottom. That's all." Bloomheart was worried for the future if this was what awaited the medical world.
"Oh! That's so simple! Most things I work with have TONS of stuff I need to write up. I'll just sign here...and now I can help you finish up early!"
"Hurray."
Of all the things Bloomheart expected to see today, Cathy being efficient and fast at her job was not one of them. She managed to make her way through all the seniors in a matter of minutes and finished up the rest of Bloomheart's work while she went to get a drink of water. While the intern may not be good at paperwork, she knew her way with the patients. In a moment, the two had signed out and were already at the new shopping store in Ponyville Square.
"So Bloomheart," Cathy asked while looking through the new mane products, "what're you gonna get your family for Hearth's Warming Day?"
"I'm not really sure," she replied while looking through earrings. "I wouldn't worry about it though. I always figure out something to give. That's guaranteed."
"Oh! Glad to hear. I think I know what I'd give to Suave," she told her, chuckling.
"Cathy dear, I really think that with all the ladies he's been with-"
"Not that! Sheesh. You think that a girl laughing after saying that she's gonna give her boyfriend a special gift means just that? I'll have you know that my special gift involved getting him a hairbrush that he'd been eyeing. His old one is starting to get ruined and you can't let hair like that just get ruined."
"I'll give him that. He really does have great hair." Bloomheart remembered the first time she ever saw the doctor and thought that she was in one of those soap operas from how good he looked. "Say, I just realized something about him."
"What is it?" Cathy asked, trying on one of the hats.
"I've had my little girl chats with some of the ladies he's dated and something always seemed off. Every mare he's dated has said that he never even tried to put the moves on them. You know what I"m saying? Actually, they all said that when they were hinting that it'd be okay, that's when he'd break up."
"Yeah. Probably because of his issues with commitment and the fact that he's actually so self conscious that he would worry about giving a bad impression if he needed to do something other than depend on his good looks." Cathy noticed the surprised stare she got from Bloomheart and said, "What? I also majored in Psychology."
"Huh. Learn something new every day. But back to business-"
"Wait a moment," Cathy said. "You were going to warn me about all the other ladies he'd been with before, but then just told me that he had never actually done the deed with all those other girls."
"Oh. Yeah. Huh. Guess I did," Bloomheart moved away from the earrings and started looking around for other stuff.
"Yes. Yes you did." Cathy started giving Bloomheart a suspicious stare. She felt like she was hiding something from her.
"Wow! Will you look at the time? I should head home and help out my husband. He's probably gonna be packed with the holidays and all. See ya!" She ran off, leaving the intern to wonder what could be going on.
I should probably let her know Bloomheart thought to herself as she galloped off. No. I couldn't possibly tell her my secret. Not even my husband knows. She felt a twinge of guilt after remembering that little fact. For the last ten years she's kept it a secret and tried to hide it from him, but nothing could stop the weight of her sin. The horrible, icky sin. I'm going to end up telling him tonight, aren't I?
"Hey honey!" greeted Pepperoni as his wife entered the restaurant. "How was the rest of your shift?"
"Surprisingly easy. The girl who's interning at the hospital really knew what she was doing. Say, you have a moment to talk privately?" Bloomheart was nervous about telling him the truth.
"Sure." The two of them went behind the counter and into the kitchen, away from the customers. "Now, what's happening?" he asked with is trademark smile.
"Well, there's something I've had weighing on more heart for the past ten years. It's really hard to say, so stick with me, okay?" Bloomheart took a seat and a deep breath and began to talk. "You see, there was this party that we had at the hospital about ten years ago. It was the holidays and everypony was having a really good time and then somepony brought out the Poison Joke Juice." She was getting nervous and starting to shake but continued her story. "Well, I drank about three bottles of the stuff and, uh, you know Dr. Suave Studwell?"
"The colt that makes all mares swoon? Of course! Why?" Pepperoni was not good at adding two and two together.
"Well, I kinda forgot that I was married for a moment, and, um, kinda made out with Dr. Suave in the broom closet." She waited to see her husband's reaction and that moment felt like it lasted forever.
"Huh."
"Really? That's all? 'Huh?' You're not angry?"
"Well, to be honest, he IS suave. And quite a stud. Honestly, it actually makes a lot of sense." Pepperoni seemed completely unfazed by his wife's confession. "Also, you were feeling awful at that point. Didn't you have mono at that time also."
"Yeah. Funny thing is that I actually ended up giving it to Studwell after that. Felt really bad about that as well." Bloomheart felt like she was taking a weight off her back. "Apparently it's still incubating in him as well. So he won't get rid of that anytime soon."
"Actually, did he know you were married? That's what I'm wondering now."
"You know, I can't recall if I told him at that point." She thought back and realized that before that party Studwell had never made any moves on her. "I don't think I ever needed to tell him."
"Well, it's in the past. I don't hold it against you. I know I do dumb things when I've had a bit too much to drink." Pepperoni remembered the drinking contest he had with his mortal business enemy, Burger Belcher. "Also, he's challenged me to a rematch, so I'm fairly certain I'll do even more stupid stuff! Remember that you're the one who got that Medical Degree while I'm making pizzas and getting into drinking competitions against business competitors."
"Aww honey!" She gave him the biggest hug she could possibly give, relieved that she finally told him about that party long ago. She was lucky that her husband wasn't angry. Even though she cheated on him. With the most attractive colt any of them had ever known.
"Is something wrong dear?" Pepperoni asked as he noticed her facial expressions changing.
"Nah. I just wondered why you didn't get angry or anything like that. I mean, another stallion did touch your lady. Most men would feel something about that."
"I probably would, but after reading that horrible Affair Arc in "Hoof of the South Star" I'm fairly certain I'd do anything to avoid even associating myself with it," Pepperoni explained.
"Wow. You really hated that arc. I mean, I guess I should've realized that when you threatened to throw Sound out of the house if that arc didn't end soon." Bloomheart remembered how tense things got when those issues were released. Pepperoni could barely contain his anger at what he thought was an arc that made the characters do things they'd never actually do and told Sound that if she didn't tell the writers at where she worked to finish it or drop it that she'd be kicked out. Things were pretty awkward for a while after that.
"Yeah. I think I get a bit too emotional when it comes to those characters. Well, better get back to making pizzas!" he said. Bloomheart walked away and went upstairs, tired from her shift. She really needed to rest. She was emotionally and physically exhausted. Hopefully some time in bed would help out. She immediately went to the bed and plopped down, dozing right off.
"Huh! What?" Bloomheart woke up from her nap and tried to regain her senses. She first wanted to see how long she'd been asleep. She saw the clock and saw it was about 5PM.
"Wow. I was pretty tired. Guess I should go down and see what's going on." She went down to see if the restaurant needed any help and was glad that she felt better. On her way to the kitchen she could overhear what was going on at the counter.
"So, is the saying about the size of a pegaus' wings true?" a mare asked.
"Maybe. I'm not totally sure which one that is. Mind explaining?" a voice she could tell was Pepperoni's asked. Bloomheart realized something was going on up at the counter and decided to listen in.
"I could show you if you'd like it. When do you get off?" the sultry voice asked.
"I usually close up at around ten. I could come check it out at around nine though. If you want to show me what it is we can do so in the broom closet. That way we don't disturb anypony else who might be here." Bloomheart's heart sank when she heard this. Was her husband flirting with this hussie?
"Ooh. Alright. See you then." Bloomheart desperately wanted to see the mare but was afraid she might be spotted if she did. Pepperoni came into the kitchen and saw his wife just standing there.
"Hey honey! Have a nice rest?" he asked innocently.
"Yeah. Sure," she responded coldly. She was still shocked by what she just heard. Her husband had just agreed to a flank call in their own restaurant. Their own home.
"You know if Sound's still in her room? Haven't seen her all day. She must be working on a new issue. Can't wait to see what happens, can you?" he asked enthusiastically.
"No," she replied dryly. She saw some dishes in the sink and attempted to wash them, fumbling around with the plates.
"Yeah! That was a pretty big cliffhanger. Oh, also do you know any phrases dealing with a pegasus' wing span? A customer just asked me and I said I'd show her later, but I think I'd rather hear it from you and not bother a customer."
"Wait, what?" Of all the things for her husband to ask her, the fact that he was telling her about the mare asking him that was the least expected. "You really don't know what that means?"
"No. Is she asking about how fast I can fly? I really don't know what she means." Of course Pepperoni would be the only colt not to know that joke.
"Let's just say she was hitting on you. That's all." Her fears of her husbands infidelity were shot down right then, and she could only feel guilt right then for thinking that way about her own husband.
"Oh. I'll have to decline her then. Thanks!" He then went away to get something from the walk-in.
"Great. I bet she was gorgeous as well," Bloomheart said to herself, thinking about how she was getting older and how many other younger mares she knew. She wondered how many other times mares had hit on her husband and not even known about it. This was not her day.
It was now nine and she was feeling pretty angry. Bloomheart went out to one of the tables in the restaurant and sat down, waiting to see who the home wrecker was. Her husband was cleaning up and was doing fine on his own. Now she waited.
"Bloomheart?" somepony asked. She turned around to see it was Cathy.
"Cathy? What're you doing here?"
"I came across this stallion that worked here and, well, I thought we'd chat. We're supposed to meet up now." Honestly, Bloomheart didn't know how to react to this news. "In case you're wondering I probably will dump Dr. Studwell if things work out here. Just don't want to limit my options, you know?"
"Yeah! Say, have you met my husband? He owns this place actually," Bloomheart told Cathy, hoping to lead up to a big reveal.
"No. Is he here?" she asked absentmindedly.
"Eeyup! Pepperoni, dear! I'd like you to meet somepony I work with!"
"Coming, honey!" he called out. Pepperoni walked out of the kitchen and approached Cathy, her yellow coat turning pale. "Hey there! You were the one who asked me about wing sizes, right?"
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-" she said, stunned.
"Oh yes! I heard that conversation from the kitchen. Cathy, darling, would you mind clarifying what that phrase means?" Bloomheart was starting to have some real fun.
"It, well, it means you're a good flier," she stuttered out. "Well, nice seeing you two here. Gotta go!"
"Oh, Cathy, before you leave, I wanna tell you two things," Bloomheart yelled out.
"What is it?" she asked nervously.
"One is that Suave Studwell has a permanent case of mono, so be careful with that. Also," she grew a smile on her face, saying, "you better stay away from my man, you bitch, or not even the emergency ward will be able to save you. Understand?"
"Yes mam!" Cathy saluted before galloping at full speed.
"And that's how it's done. Well, I'm heading off to bed. Can't believe how exhausted I still am. At least tomorrow's my day off. Wonder what I need to do," Bloomheart said out loud.
"Yeah! I'll be making cookies. Wouldn't be Hearth's Warming Eve without them," Pepperoni said.
"Eeyup! Those are some-WAIT! WHAT?!"
"Hearth's Warming Eve's tomorrow, so I'm making cookies. Something wrong?" Pepperoni could NOT know under any circumstance that Bloomheart had totally forgotten to get them gifts yet. Or even what to give. It would be a rush to the deadline.
"Hey, uh, I think I need to...oh...wow." Bloomheart's stance started to sway as she moved back and forth.
"Honey, I think you need to go to bed. You don't look that great," her husband said.
"But...alright." She went upstairs with her thoughts still racing in her mind. Tomorrow would be the only day she could buy her family gifts, and she had no idea what to get them yet. She didn't want to straight up ask what they wanted; it'd be too impersonal and there'd be no surprise whatsoever. She'd need to rely on gut instincts and her family's friends.
"Okay. The plan is to wake up early and then head down to the shopping center. Also I really need to try and find some of Sound's friends. They'll know what she wants. VICTORY WILL BE-" was all she could yell out before falling asleep on the bed.
The alarm clock for Bloomheart's early morning shift rang, intentionally left on so she could wake up early that morning. With all the intensity and vigor of an extreme early-bird shopper, Bloomheart grabbed her scarf and boots and went out to shop. It would be a difficult quest, but she knew it needed to be accomplished.
"Alright. I need to figure out where to go first," she said to herself, drawing a mental map. "Now, I think what we need to do is find somepony who could give us some information on what would be good to buy. For that, we should head over to the shopping center and we can then find out what would be appropriate. Also, I'm apparently royalty now. Huh." Bloomheart went to the mall and was happy to find it open this early in the morning. Apparently they were ready for any last-minute shoppers that would be coming in. The moment she entered the doors of the place she was greeted by a greeter.
"Hello there! Do you need any assistance?" the unicorn asked.
"Yes! I'm desperate to find a gift for both my daughter and husband. I know that's a broad statement, but is there any way you can help me with it? I can tell you a bit about them if that'll help." Bloomheart was glad that she arrived this early. She now had this greeter all to herself.
"Hello there! Do you need any assistance?" she repeated again.
"Uh, yes. Did you hear what I said the first time?"
"Bessie, come on. Get your coffee and then get to greeting. You're no good to us in this state," another unicorn in a greeter's outfit told her. She walked away slowly, the smile still plastered on her face. "Sorry about that. She was actually asleep. Now, I'm Finder. How can I help you?"
"I really need a gift for my husband and daughter and husband and have no idea where to start. Please help me," she begged.
"No problems mam! We help with that sort of stuff all the time. What you can do is tell me some of your family's interests and I can direct you to a shop where they have materials they may be interested in. Once there the employees in the store will be able to help you out," explained Finder.
"Oh, thank you so much! Alright, the first one I think I'd like to find gifts for is my daughter. She's an illustrator for comic books and likes animation. I usually get her art supplies and such, but I want to change it up this year," Bloomheart told him.
"Alright then! I'll take you over to The Pencil. It's our finest animation related shop in the mall. There you can find hundreds of art related supplies and animated shows that you normally wouldn't see anywhere else. Follow me!" Finder led her into the shopping center and into an area where shops were plentiful.
"Wow. I'd never seen a shopping center like this before," she commented.
"We actually don't call them shopping centers. Most of the time we just call them malls. It's pretty much a store that contains other stores within it." Finder explained. At that moment there was a loud foghorn that blew just as he finished talking about stores within a store. "Also, that means it's about five now. Other stores should be opening up."
"Do you know if mine will be open?" Bloomheart asked.
"I think so. After all, it is the holidays. They should be ready for all the ponies that would have last minute shopping," explained Finder. He led her to the shop he told her about and found that there were ponies already waiting outside the gates, hoping to get in.
"The sign says it's supposed to be open by now. Why isn't it?" one large stallion in the line asked.
"The manager should be here soon to open up the shop. Until then just stay calm and remember the real reason for the holidays, alright?" he told them. "Sheesh. These ponies are like hyenas. I'm surprised none of them tried to break down the door yet. But yeah, you should find something for your daughter here. If not, then I'd also suggest a The Dragon's Laboratory. It's this comic shop that's supposed to have good deals going on at this time. Good luck," he said, looking as if he knew something horrible would happen to him today.
"Alright everypony! Stay calm while I open the door," somepony in a red jacket told the crowd. She took the keys out of her pocket and unlocked the gate. She then carefully slid in through the doors, followed by others wearing the same jacket. "Now, just wait a minute while we get set up."
"Oh, please let them have something good," Bloomheart said to herself, bracing for when the "OPEN" sign was finally flipped. She calculated that if somepony could hold the doors open, she could possibly fly over the crowd and get inside. Maybe she could see something from above.
"Welcome everypony!" the manager yelled, flipping the sign and ducking out of the way. A stream of customers flooded in, both on the ground and in the air. Bloomheart abandoned her flying plan and just decided to go with the flow. Within thirty seconds everypony had entered the store with some already lined up at the register with their purchases.
"Wow. That escalated quickly, and then ended abruptly," she commented to herself, deciding to browse the wares. "Now, I usually end up getting Sound some art supplies, but this time will be different. What could she possibly like that deals with animation?" She looked over the art supplies and then noticed rows of DVD's. Before trotting over there, she saw one of Sound's friends.
"Cloverbud? Is that you? I haven't seen you in so long!" Bloomheart said, approaching the pony with a stone face.
"Oh. Hey Bloomheart," she replied. "Sorry I haven't visited your home in a while. Been busy at Trot Comics checking over the new IP we'll be releasing. How about you?" Bloomheart remembered that Cloverbud was Head of Quality Control over at Trot Comics. She also remembered several months ago that she had attempted to seduce her husband unknowingly. This sort of thing was happening far too often.
"Oh, well, I'm just beyond busy working as a nurse at Ponyville Hospital. Say, have you found a coltfriend yet? Or somepony else not my husband?" she told her with a smile on her face.
"Uhhhhh....please don't hurt me?" Cloverbud asked.
"Don't worry. I know you didn't mean that. At least I know that I got a good stallion before anypony else, you know?" The two laughed, cutting the tension. "Anyway, what're you doing here?"
"I'm checking out some supplies to get while they're on sale. We usually buy our stuff in bulk, but some artists like personalized tools, so that's what I'm here for. And you?"
"Oh, I'm trying to get something for Sound, but I'm drawing a blank here. I wanna try and get something different this year, so I think I might try to get a DVD of something." Bloomheart, realizing that her friend could help, asked,"Say, what do you think Sound would like?"
"Let's check out what's here so we can get an idea," Clover suggested. The two of them looked through the rows of DVDs, Bloomheart having no idea what she was looking at. She hoped to refer any questions she had to Clover.
"What about this one?" she asked, pulling up a DVD with mares in school uniforms.
"Nah. Hey, I think I know waht you should get her," Clover said, picking up a DVD from an cordoned area of the store. She showed it to Bloomheart, who tried to read the title.
"Boku No Numa? What's that?"
"It's a pretty good show. Only three episodes, but they're very well done. I'm sure that she'll love getting this from you," Clover told her, a smirk on her face.
"Oh! Thank you SO much!" Bloomheart grabbed the disk and went out to checkout, but not before asking one other question. "Hey, Clover?"
"Yes?"
"What exactly did you think it was that attracted you to my husband?" Bloomheart really wanted to know why it seemed like everypony she knew was now hitting on her husband.
"Well, aside from my general loneliness, it has to probably be that he's really handsome and his age actually makes him look much more mature. Also, you see the size of his wings? And his flank?" Clover was starting to feel awkward discussing this.
"Huh. Well, I can't disagree with anything you said. I guess that I thought home wreckers would be more interested in bulkier, more muscular stallions. No offense."
"None taken. Just know that you're lucky. Well, I'll get my stuff and check out. See you later," Cloverbud went out to the self-service checkout and quickly got out of the store.
"Well, guess I'll check out with this then. Afterward I can think up something for Pepperoni." Bloomheart got in the line and waited for a solid ten minutes before reaching the register.
"Hey Miss Bloom!" Curveball, one of Sound's closer friends called out.
"Curveball? I didn't expect to see you working here?"
"Yeah, well, it helps with money now that the weather's bad for coaching. So what are you getting? Any last minute gifts?"
"Oh yes. I actually forgot how close it was to Hearth's Warming Day and didn't buy anything yet. I was about to get this for Sound and then figure out where to go for my husband." Bloomheart showed Curveball the DVD she was about to buy. The mare's reaction to it was somewhere between shock and laughter.
"WOAH! WOAH! WOAH!" was all she said at first. "Miss Bloom, you have any idea what you were just about to buy?"
"Uh, no actually. Cloverbud actually helped me pick this one out," she said, confused about what was going on. "What's wrong?"
"Ah. Cloverbud suggested this. That explains a lot. She's actually a pretty sadistic prankster. You see the foals on the cover?"
"Yeah.?"
"Well, those are colts. And, um, they...can I whisper this to you? It's not something you say out loud and feel okay with."
"Sure." Bloomheart bent over the counter and perked her ears up to listen.
"In the show..." Curveball explained the contents of those three episodes to the nurse, her face somehow becoming more and more horrified as the explanation went on. Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, it clearly did. When she had finished explaining, Bloomheart's face was contorted to show the inability of her feelings.
"Three?" she asked quietly.
"Yes. Three," Curveball replied. She remembered the fateful day when she had been dared to watch one of these shows at random. What she did was that she picked one from a list and swore to watch in full whatever she chose. What happened next was a blur, mainly because she actually ended up in therapy for a short while after seeing it.
"Wow. That would've been awkward to give her. Do you have any gift suggestions for Sound?"
"I actually can't remember right now. I've got to get to these customers, but I suggest that comic place. Right now they're having some raffle for a secret expensive comic in mint condition, so you could try that out," Curveball saw the line growing and said, "You gotta go now. Good luck!"
"Thanks. You too!" Bloomheart said, hoping that this lead would work out better. She looked for the nearest information booth and found the location of The Dragon's Laboratory. Galloping past the other shoppers, she saw a large poster board of a dragon wearing glasses and knew she'd found the place.
"Hello mam! Do you need any help?" a bald unicorn asked.
"Yes. I heard that your shop is performing a raffle for a rare comic. I'd like to buy a chance if there are any still available." Bloomheart looked around the shop and saw a plethora of merchandise hanging off the walls. See saw miniature figures of famous comic book characters and blown-up posters of well-known comics. She wondered if she should get any of these for Sound as well. She then saw the prices of said merchandise and started calculating how much love was worth in currency.
"Why of course! It's a special mint-condition first issue of a famous comic book series! It's worth in current condition would sell for three hundred bits," the store owner explained.
"Wow! That'd make a great gift. How much is it to enter the raffle?"
"Ten bits," he told her.
"Alright. Sign me up!" She handed over the money and signed the ticket. It was then placed in a large box with the other tickets. She considered putting in more chances, but then realized that she'd feel like a fool if she spent all her money on chances for a raffle and didn't even win. "Now, when do you pick the winner?"
"Today at noon, mam. You can shop around and come back around that time to see if you won," he explained.
"Thanks!" she said as she trotted away with a smile on her face. "Now while that's going on, we'll try and find something for Pepperoni. We think we'll checkout some stores for older gentlemen. Also, We're talking using the royal 'we' again for some reason."
Bloomheart decided to then check out the nearby sporting goods store and see if there was anything that Pepperoni might like. He never went out anyplace where there was nature, but who knows. She ended up coming across a shop called The Survivalist and decided to give it a look.
"Hello mam. How may we help you?" an pony wearing a hunter's uniform asked. He spoke clearly even with the large pipe he had in his mouth.
"I'm not sure. I'm just trying to find something for my husband, but don't even know if he's into this sort of thing," she said, aware of how bad it sounded.
"Ah. Last minute gifts then. If you want, I suggest that you get him something that allows fishing," he told her.
"Fishing?" Bloomheart thought over the activities her husband would normally do, such as betting, heavy drinking, and...apparently she had a really bad impression of her husband's activities. "I think he'll like it."
"Good! Let me get you some supplies he'll need if he's a beginner." The dapper store owner walked away while humming "Hail Celestia" to himself. Only after he left did Bloomheart notice that he had a Blunderbuss strapped to his back. Obviously this would be one store in the mall that wouldn't fall to the zombie apocalypse.
"Actually, I think we need a smaller pack. Those larger ones can get real heavy if you pack everything in there," a familiar voice said. Bloomheart looked around the next aisle and saw Pawpads talking to her boyfriend (or fiance) Apple Cider. She remembered that Apple Cider was gonna propose, but never heard anything else after that.
"Hey you two!" she called out, greeting both of them in a surprise. "Didn't expect to find you here."
"Miss Bloom!" Pawpads called out, approaching the mare and giving her a hug. "A.C. and I were just looking through packs to take on a camping trip we were planning sometime in Spring. Our last trip into nature did not go so well."
"Really? When was that?"
"It was on Hearts and Hooves Day and we were travelling through the Everfree Forest with that zebra, Zecora, guiding us. The two of us were standing near a lake for a moment with A.C. about to say something when a huge hydra came out of the water! Luckily Zecora was able to beat it into submission, but needless to say we were pretty shocked."
"Ah." Bloomheart realized that A.C. was probably going to propose at that moment, but got cut off. After that, he must've gotten cold hooves after being attacked by a hydra. Not exactly a good sign.
"Yeah. So anyway we're getting things while sales are going on. Better prepared than regretting. Right, A.C.?"
"Exactly. Say, you think we should get one of those Blunderbuss things as well? You know, just to be safe?" he asked.
"Come on, A.C. I doubt that if we did come across anything on the trip that a simple Blunderbuss would stop it. Besides, those things are inaccurate. If we're going for accuracy and portability, I would suggest we take self-reloading crossbow. After all, they're silent, compact, and ammo is retrievable in case it's needed." Both Bloomheart and A.C. didn't know how to react to Pawpads sudden knowledge of weaponry. Instead, A.C. decided to say something else.
"Say, Pawsy, you mind checking out the tent area? I wanna talk with Miss Bloom about something."
"Sure!" She gave him a peck and went off. A.C. approached Bloomheart and wore his serious face.
"Alright. As you know we aren't engaged yet. That little incident in the forest gave me the creeps and I just don't know if I've got the guts to ask the question now," he confessed.
"Aww. A.C. dear, don't fret. It's not a sign that you two would be a bad match. It's a sign that you need to choose better travel spots," she explained. "Besides, I have insider knowledge from Sound that Pawsy over there was really looking toward getting a special ring."
"I already heard the same thing from Sound. The thing is that I don't know if I'M ready." He looked around to see if the coast was clear before saying anymore. "I think I'm falling for this other mare."
"WHAT?!" Bloomheart screamed out, alerting everypony else looking around the shop. She quickly hid behind a rack, hoping to cover herself. When everypony finally looked away, she starting whispering frantically to A.C. "What do you mean that you're falling for this other mare? Who is she?"
"Well, she's this nurse-" Bloomheart immediately put her hoof over A.C.'s mouth the moment she heard that.
"Would her name happen to be Cathy?" she asked in as menacingly a calm voice could sound.
"Uh, yeah. You know her?" Oh boy. Did Bloomheart know her.
"Yes. Let's just say that you're better off not getting hooked up on her. She has a way of, how you say, having a terrible choice of attempted relationships. Last night she attempted to hook up with my husband and didn't even know that he was married. I don't think she even knows about Pawpads. But let's just say that she isn't something you should worry about." A.C. actually looked relieved to hear that. He'd been trying to get rid of his temptations somehow.
"Thanks Miss Bloom. I thought I'd end up giving up the one truly good thing that's been in my life and end up being some player again. Hope that fishing gear works out for Pepperoni."
"Same here." A.C. trotted away to where Pawpads was comparing different hats. He put his hoof around the mare and gave her a big hug, surprising her. Bloomheart was happy to see those two together and hoped that Pawpads would finally be blunt and tell him to marry her. Otherwise, Bloomheart suspected she might need to get A.C. a pair of something to finally give him the courage to ask.
"Here are the basic supplies, mam," the dapper pony said, giving her a fishing line, some wire, a box of bait, and an instruction manual.
"Oh, we won't need the bait or the instruction manual. I know at least one of my husband's friends likes to go fishing and usually has lots of bait to share. He's actually invited us a couple of times, but we never had the stuff. Actually, this really is a perfect gift then. He and Mr. Bates can finally go off and fish then."
"Ah! Mister Bates. He's a regular to this shop when it comes to supplies. He's also quite efficient when it comes to using bait, sometimes only using one tool to capture a whole bucket of fish," the store owner told her.
"Really? So he's quite good at baiting then, correct?" Bloomheart asked, her face forming a smirk of anticipation.
"Why, yes.He is truly an expert with bait." The pony was falling straight into her hooves.
"So, would you consider him a master baiter then?"
"Yes. That's a proper title for one with such skill. A master baiter." The dapper pony couldn't help but notice his customer barely containing her composure. “Mam, are you alright?”
“Oh, yes. Of course. It’s just amazing to learn that one of my husband’s friends is a master *phht* baiter. Must have taken him a long time for him to get there. Do you know if he started as a teenager?” Bloomheart was going to go all the way here.
“Why, even younger than that! I remember when his father first-“
“BWAHAHAHA!” She couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Oh…oh. I’m sorry. Just remembered a funny story I once heard. Anyway, thanks for helping me get these gifts!” She took out her wallet and paid him his bits. She was glad to cut back on all the extra stuff for the fishing gear. It gave her plenty of wiggle room with the budget.
“Now, what else to buy? The raffle for Sound’s thing will be in about five hours, and I’ve got something nice for my hubby. I guess I should just relax a little for now. My hooves are starting to kill me.” She saw a couple stores down what appeared to be a café and couldn’t help herself. She went over and immediately found the comfiest seat possible and made it hers.
“Hello mam!” one of the baristas greeted. “What can I get you?”
“Oh. I’ll take a small coffee,” Bloomheart responded.
“How would you like that coffee, mam? We have a wide variety of ways to make it.”
“Hmmm. Darker than a moonless night. Hotter and more bitter than hell itself,” she ordered. The barista’s face twisted as she tried to understand what this strange pegasus just asked for.
“Oh. Alright! Coming right up!” Bloomheart felt a bit guilty for using a reference that nopony got, but also knew that she never had any other time to say that. She decided to lay her head back and just relax for a moment. She wasn’t one for feeling tired in the morning thanks to her job. She just worried about the eventual crash that would probably come in the evening.
“Well, I have several hours to waste now. Feel like I need to do something else, but just can’t remember what,” she said to herself, going over the mental checklist. “I’ve got stuff for Sound and Pepperoni, so I should be set for my family. What else could there be?” Bloomheart scratched her head, desperately trying to remember something she felt was missing. “After all, I’ve gotten a gift for each of them to give tomorrow. Actually, I wonder if we’ll decide to do it tonight when Cleversong comes over for-“ She suddenly remembered that shocking fact that had eluded her; Bloomheart had two daughters, not just Sound.
“Excuse me, mam? Your coffee is ready,” the barista told Bloomheart. Too bad she had forgotten all about her order and was rushing out of the café. “Mam! Your coffee!” she yelled hopelessly.
“What was that about?” her coworker asked.
“She ordered this dark and bitter coffee and then just rushed out,” she explained. “Oh well. I’ll just keep the coffee here and wait for her.”
“Crap! How could I forgotten about Cleversong!” Bloomheart was galloping around the mall with no reason in her rushing. “I have no idea what to get her and…and…CRAP!”
“Mam, would you mind keeping it down?” one of the nearby shop owners asked. “You’re scaring away customers.”
“Sorry. I just remembered that I have another daughter that I need to get gifts for. I’m just freaking out now,” she explained.
“Oh! Well why didn’t you say so! Come in, come in!” beckoned the owner. Bloomheart looked up to see the name of the store she was entering.
“Mr. Morrium’s Wonder Emporium. Huh. Guess I could check it out.” Seeing her choices were still up in the air, she decided to check it out.
“Now, my name is Mr. Morrium and I’m here to help you out. What’s your daughter’s age and interests?”
“She’s a singer who’s studying to be a pharmacist. Also-“ The strange shop owner put his hoof up and shushed her, attempting to concentrate.
“I think I know what you can get her. Hold on just a moment.” He dashed away to the back of his strange shop, crashing sounds heard along the way. The store was almost completely empty except for a desk with a notepad on it. Actually, there was nothing actually set up on the shelves. Bloomheart wondered how a shop like this could run.
“Here we go!” Mr. Morriam said, coming out of the back room. “I think this should be good to get her.” He took out two items form his bag. One was a fountain pen with Cleversong engraved on it. The other was a book entitled "Warlords of the World". “The pen I knew to get for her since I heard her name being screamed. The book I just feel could come in handy just in case.”
“Thank you so much! These seem perfect. Well, at least the pen. I think I’ll take the book as well, just in case.” Bloomheart handed over the bits and took the bag containing gifts. She was exiting the store before she realized something. “Hey. How did you know what would be a good gift for a pharmacist?”
“It’s actually my special talent. I’m really good at getting the gifts ponies need. Not want they want necessarily. Now, good luck!” He went into the back room again after hearing his merchandise crashing down.
“Well, I just dodged a bullet right there. Guess I can go and relax now.” Bloomheart was heading back to the café when she noticed a new store out of the corner of her eye. “Costume Command? I thought those shops only existed before Nightmare Night. Guess this one closed later for some reason.” Out of pure curiosity, she decided to check out the shop. “Hello? Anypony there?”
“Is…is that a customer?” somepony in the store said. “Creepy! Get out here! There’s a customer here!”
“Crawly, no there isn’t. You’re just hallucinating again. Nopony would visit a costume shop this time of year.”
“Look! There she is! Please tell me I’m not dreaming.” Crawly grabbed Creepy’s face and focused it on the mare. It was as if they’d been on a deserted island and hadn’t seen somepony in years.
“You’re right! There IS somepony in here! Please, come in. Do you have any ideas? Any desires?” Creepy’s face was that of a very desperate stallion.
“Well, I dunno. I was just passing by and…is that outfit supposed to be a magician’s outfit?” Bloomheart looked at the costume and had a couple of ideas come to mind.
“Why, yes it is. Does that interest you?”
“Possibly. First, I need to check if you guys have anything that resembles a top hat.” Bloomheart saw this outfit as the perfect opportunity to finally put together her cosplay for Zataran, The Southern Magician Girl. She was always surprised to find that there weren’t any shops with proper clothes for a magician.
“Absolutely. Crawly, you know where those hats are, right?”
“Eeyup! Just give a moment.” Crawly finally managed to come out of his stupor of disbelief and rushed to fetch a top hat. Within a minute he had selected what Bloomheart considered to be the most immaculate top hat ever.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, marveling at its shine. “I’ll take the outfit.”
“She’s actually buying something! We made a sale!” The two danced around in joy at the prospect of finally selling a costume in the dead of winter. “We can finally leave this place!”
“Wait, what?” Bloomheart got confused by what he just said.
“Our boss said that we needed to make one more sale before we broke even with the rental on this place. Apparently he ended up renting the place for an entire year instead of one month. We’ve been here just waiting for somepony to buy something so you could finally leave this place,” Crawly explained.
“Why didn’t you just buy one of these costumes yourself then?”
“Well, they’re kinda expensive. But who cares! We’re free! FREE! WE CAN FINALLY GO HOME! CLOSE IT UP, CREEPY!”
“I’m on it.” Creepy grabbed a sign and walked over to the door to the shop. Casually, he placed the sign on the door so then it read ‘Closed’ to everypony outside. “It is completed.”
“Alright! Mam, I’m afraid I must ask you to leave now. We’re officially closed,” Crawly said calmly. Deciding that she’d had enough crazy stores for today, Bloomheart decided to head back to the café.
“Hello mam! What would you like to order?”
“I ordered a small, black coffee earlier. Do you still have it?” Bloomheart asked.
“I’m sorry, but that must have been the other café in the mall,” the barista explained.
“Wait, so you’re saying that there are two of the exact same café in the same mall?”
“Exactly! Now, would you like that small, black coffee with anything else?” she asked.
“No. That’ll be it.” She paid for her coffee and sat down, hoping that now she could relax a little. Looking up at the clock on the wall, she saw that it was almost nine now. Three more hours until the drawing. “Well, now I can enjoy some of this delicious coffee.” She took a sip from her black coffee and inhaled the aroma, feeling alive once again. “Ah. Just how I like it.”
“Excuse me, but is this seat taken?” a strong, enticing voice asked. Bloomheart looked up to see her coworker, Dr. Suave Studwell, standing right over her.
“Studwell? Didn’t know that you had the day off as well.”
“Well, you know how little I actually take time off from work. It’s not like I should handle the lives of everypony in the town,” he boasted. “So, what’re you up to?”
“Shopping for Hearth’s Warming Day gifts for my family. Including my husband,” she emphasized. “And you?”
“Shopping as well. Getting some hair products along with some nice gifts for my family also. Anyway,” he said, taking a seat next to her, “it looks like we’re having coffee together.”
“Ugh. Suave, we’re only having coffee together in the literal sense. Nothing more.” She hoped that he would at least be a little less aggressive with his advances while dating Cathy. Now Cathy seemed to be acting more like him. At least they’ve got something in common now.
“You don’t have to shut me down immediately. After all, you remember that party we had exactly ten years ago today, don’t you?” Bloomheart almost spat out her coffee when he reminded her of that.
“No. You know that was just a fling that happened. We were both drunk and things just got out of hoof. Besides, why on earth are you still into me? I gave you a disease that won’t go away and could be given to anypony you have a relationship with. How could you think that I’m something worth chasing?” Bloomheart was tired of chasing him away and wanted answers.
“Well, that’s a question I’d like to answer, but first I’d actually like to buy you another coffee or a muffin or something. At least let me be a gentlecolt.” He gave her a pleading but strong look and she decided to cave in.
“Fine. Get me a strudel.”
“Maria! One strudel!” he said. The barista came over quickly with a strudel and giggled as she went back to her register. “Here you go, madam.”
“Uh, thanks?” She took the strudel from his hoof and took a bite out of it, realizing how hungry she was. Without realizing it she wolfed down the pastry and downed her coffee.
“Wow. Guess you forgot to eat this morning. I’ve adjusted to not eating breakfast. Takes time out of saving lives.” Bloomheart couldn’t tell if Suave was just being hammy or serious. He was pretty odd that way.
“Well, you’re not saving lives right now. Eat something! You can’t look that good all the time without feeling hungry,” Bloomheart said instinctively. She just realized what she’d said and immediately started drinking her coffee again to hide her face.
“Well then,” he said, going up to the counter and selecting a wide variety of things to eat and putting them on a platter, “I say let us eat.”
“Oh wow. That looks too good. You mind?” she asked him.
“Go ahead.” Bloomheart took a muffin from the platter while he took a slice of the marble bread. The two enjoyed their food, especially Suave. It seemed like forever since he’d eaten a breakfast. Everything tasted delicious and he couldn’t believe how long he’d gone without this meal.
“Wow. I never knew how good this stuff could be,” Suave said as he ate a cake pop. “Maybe I avoid it because I know too much about nutrition to eat it.”
“Screw nutrition! We’re doctors! Or at least you are. If any of us get fat we can count on you for liposuction.” The two of them cracked up at that joke. Suave accidentally spat out some food and started snorting as he laughed. That only made the two of them laugh even harder.
“Oh wow. I usually try to not end up snorting. Doesn’t look good.” The doctor looked embarrassed at the prospect of appearing unsexy.
“What do you mean? I think it’s cute. It’s one of those funny little things that ponies never really appreciate. I sometimes end up squealing if I laugh too much. THAT’S more embarrassing,” Bloomheart told him.
“Really? I’ve never heard you laugh like that.”
“Well, I’ll show you. Tell me a really funny joke and you’ll see.”
“Hmm.” Suave thought about jokes he knew and couldn’t think of anything too funny, so he relied on an old-yet-reliable joke. “An atom walks into a bar and tells the bartender ‘I think I’ve lost an electron. Would you help me find it?’ The bartender then asks ‘Are you sure?’ to which the atom says ‘I’m positive.”
Bloomheart started blankly at his face for a moment, making Suave feel like a fool. Suddenly, Bloomheart started cracking up, unable to hold back. Suddenly, she started making squeaking noises while laughing, catching the attention of several other patrons.
“Oh…oh wow. Can’t believe I just did that in public,” she said, her face flushed. “Anyway, that’s what it sounds like when I squeal while laughing. Now you know how lucky you are that all you do is snort while laughing.”
“At least your thing sounds natural. My thing sounds like a pig wondered into the room and started eating. Yours was adorable.”
“Oh stop that,” she told him, her face still red. She never really had many conversations with Suave that went on this long. Most of the time she’d blow him off and just walk away, never really giving him a chance. Now that she finally got to chat with him, she saw what other mares could see. “Hey, Suave, you never answered my question,” she told him, scooting closer. “Why exactly are you attracted to me?”
“Well,” he said, also scooting closer, “I think it might be your personality. You always keep your energy up, even late in your shift and always make an effort to do your best. You can deal with stuff most nurses would cringe at, like doing needles with the foals. You might get embarrassed easily, but you never regret the thing you did to make yourself feel that way.”
“Is that all? Just my personality?” the nurse scoot a little closer now, chairs almost bumping against each other. Part of her had no idea what she was doing while another part of her really wanted to see where this went.
“Well, I’m sure it’s Ad Naseum for you to hear at this point, but you are gorgeous as well. I mean that green mane that just glows in the light. Your beautiful white coat and perfectly trimmed wings. The way your eyes just glimmer with life. Is there any question why one would be interested in you if not simply for those reasons? Some say that if somepony simply wants you for your body then they’re shallow. However, if somepony wanted you simply for your body, then they’d be a pony who knew that nothing else could be better than the moment they first laid eyes on you.”
“Oh, Dr. Studwell,” Bloomheart said, quivering. It was only at that moment she noticed she had moved herself directly next to the doctor, their faces only an inch apart. She suddenly moved her head and noticed everypony else in the shop was looking at the two of them, the mares bearing a wide smile on their faces. “I…um…thanks for breaskfast!”
“No problem. Take care,” he said calmly as she rushed out with her bags.
“Okay Bloomy. Get it together. Remember the regret you had when you gave in last time. Remember your loving family. Remember that…um…I think I’m gonna look around a bit more. Yep. That’s what I’ll do,” she told herself as she tried to forget the handsome doctor.
It took about another hour of wondering aimlessly around the mall, but she finally got her mind off the stupid sexy doctor. Now she was interested in checking out some of the technology stores.
“I really wanna check out these computers. I know Sound has one, but she really doesn’t want me using it,” she said, wondering why somepony would feel that way about letting somepony else use their computers. “I mean, what’s the worst thing I could do or see on there?”
After getting lost because she couldn’t tell where she was in the mall with her outdated map, she found a store called Tweaked and Wired that advertised having computers for sale. When she entered the store, an alarm went off, freaking her out and flying up before she knew what’d happened.
“Sorry! Our alarm’s been on the fritz lately. Anyway, how can I help you?” a pony with a bright blue dress shirt asked.
“Oh, I’m just looking around for now,” she explained, floating back onto the floor. “Though I do wonder how much your computers cost. I know my daughter has one, but I’ve never really gotten into that sort of stuff.”
“Well, that I can help you with! Follow me.” He led her through several aisles in the shop containing cameras and batteries before stopping at an area containing large, glowing boxes that Bloomheart guessed were computers.
“Are these the computers?” she asked, knowing nothing of this sort of stuff.
“Yep! These guys are brand new and can handle any needs, business or pleasure, that are currently available. Now, the basic price for a computer like this will run about five hundred bits, but for a really-“
“FIVE HUNDRED?!” she yelled. “What do these things do that they cost five hundred bits?”
“Well, you can type documents, create graphs, research things using the internet, and many more,” the salespony told her.
“Wait, what’s the internet?” she asked.
“Well, um, it’s this connection of other computers in the world where people share information and other things. It’s actually quite complicated to explain. Easier to see it in action.” He turned on a computer and clicked on some symbol on the screen. The screen then changed to display a different page. Bloomheart watched curiously as he explained the fine parts of the internet to her and how it worked. Sound usually groaned whenever she asked how it worked and would usually say that it’s hard to explain. Guess she just didn’t want to bother trying.
“Would you mind if I tried to use it?” Bloomheart asked eager to see what awaited her online.
“Sure! What do you want to try out?”
“Well, I think I want to search something that’s nice and relaxing. Something…fun. Yes. Honestly this day’s been crazy for me so far. I think I’ll look up ‘Mares having fun’.” Before she could type in the phrase, the salespony interrupted her and took the keyboard away quickly.
“Mam, I’m REALLY sorry, but that might not be the best phrase to search for, at least in public. It can lead to some very…interesting results.”
“What do you mean? The internet’s a public place so what could possibly come up?” Bloomheart would later realize that she sounded just like her innuendo oblivious husband.
“Uh…well…,” he muttered while scratching his head. “See, the internet had lots of…stuff.”
“Stuff? Come on. Be blunt with me. What’s so bad with a search about mares having-OH! That’s what you can find on the internet?” Bloomheart had never realized that computers could be used for such a purpose.
“Yes. Lots of that stuff. Unless you set your search settings to a safe search. Then you’re more likely to avoid it.” Bloomheart felt embarrassed to make the salespony tell her that. It probably was the most awkward thing he could have dealt with that day.
“Oh. I’m so sorry. Um…thanks for telling me about computers though. I might be interested in one in the future.” She trotted away, hoping not to look back at him. That would just make things worse. “Well, I might as well check out what else is in the store.”
For the next half hour she explored the store and ogled the gadgets she knew she’d probably never use but would love to own. She touched the thing black devices called ‘tablets’ and had lots of fun just touching everything on the screen. After reading one of the sample stories on the device, she went over to check out the music area.
“I know it would cost a lot, but I really want one of these music players someday. They’re just so neat and useful,” she said, looking at the boxes full of tiny players. “I wonder how you get the music on them though.”
“You buy the music online with a computer or through the device itself. Depends on what kind of player you’re using.” She looked to see who was talking and saw another one of Sound’s friends, Silent Study, looking through several of the CDs.
“Hey Silent! You enjoying your winter break?” Bloomheart remembered that as a Teacher’s Assistant he wouldn’t have to go to work.
“I guess,” he said casually, glancing over the disks. He sighed and looked at Bloomheart. “Miss Bloom, can I talk to you for a moment?”
“Sure, sweetie. What’s bothering you?” She noticed him blush when she called him that.
“Well, I don’t know why, but I just can’t seem to get in the spirit of the season.” He postioned himself against a wall of boxes while piano music played in the background, saying, “I feel like I’m the only one who can’t get into the mood. I mean, I like the thing about getting gifts from my parents from the city. I also like how everything is served with cinnamon this time of year. I just don’t feel happy though.”
“Silent Study. You might be the only pony I know who can turn a perfectly happy holiday and turn it into a problem.” Bloomheart couldn’t help but feel like déjà vu right then.
“I know. I think it might now be related to the holidays, but just something else I’m worrying about right now. I know it’s dumb, but I can’t help but worry.”
“Well, why don’t you tell me about it? I studied psychology as a minor for Nursing, so maybe I can help somehow. Let’s sit down first.” The two found a couple of chairs and sat down. Bloomheart sank in her chair, trying to figure out why a technology store needed such big chairs.
“Well, it’s about this girl.” Silent stopped talking and let Bloomheart get comfortable in her chair. Every time she moved it squeaked and she kept on sinking in.
“Continue,” she said, falling in once again.
“Well, it’s not about Cheerilee. I’m letting you know that before we start. Don’t want you to think that it’s anything with her. It’s actually some other girl I know.”
“Ooh! Details, please!” Bloomheart said overenthusiastically.
“Well, we met online and decided to talk to her. Thought she was pretty cool. Was honestly surprised that she responded to my messages in the first place. I honestly was worried because I give off this bad aura with mares.” Silent stopped talking once more as the chair started to eat Bloomheart again. “You know, maybe we should head back into the music area.”
“Good idea,” she said, flapping her wings to get out of the mess. The two walked back over there, right next to a new music player that could play songs simply by saying its name.
“Alright. Thing is that sometimes I’ll send her a message and, honestly, I just worry that she won’t respond. It’s weird. It’s not like there’s any reason we’d stop talking. I feel like when I was a young colt at school and for some reason all the mares thought I was weird. Maybe it was that I couldn’t cast magic. Maybe it was my mane. I never figured it out. Thing is that I worry it’ll happen again.”
“Silent, how exactly would you say you feel in these situations?” Bloomheart asked.
“Honestly, I feel like a creep, you know. It’s like-“
“Playing ‘Creep’ by Raiodhead,” the music player stated.
“What? No. Stop. I just want to talk. I don’t want any lyrics playing while-“
“Playing ‘Creep-Karaoke Version’ by Radiohead,” it told them.
“You think we should get someone to fix it?” Bloomheart asked.
“Nah. I think we’ll be fine,” he said when the song started to play. “But yeah, it was weird how they always avoided me. Made me feel bad. I wanted to feel…” he stopped talking before he said, “special.”
“Well, I think we all want to feel that way. It’s not uncommon to-“ She got cut off before she could finish her thought.
“But I’m a creep.
I’m a loser.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.” Apparently Silent was now singing the song that was on the music player.
“Silent, I think we’re-“ Before Bloomheart could finish, a group of shoppers and employees suddenly seemed to join in.
“I don’t care if it hurts.
(Doesn’t care if it hurts)
I just want to have control.
(Just wants a little bit control)
I want a perfect body.
(We all want that kind of body)
I want a perfect soul.
(We all want that kind of soul)
I want her to notice when I’m not around.
(Whenever we’re all gone)
She’s so really awesome.
(Yes she’s really awesome)
I wish I was awesome.
(We wanna be awesome)”
“You know what? I think I’ll just sit back and watch,” Bloomheart said, scared of what was going on. All her life she wondered what it’d be like to live in a musical. Now she knows how it’d be; scary. Ponies suddenly dropping what they’re doing and start singing a song in tune and they all know what to say. She sat through their rendition of the song and as soon as it ended everypony went back to what they were doing before with no reference to what just happened.
“Anyway, that’s the general gist of how I feel. Also, I worry that I may put too much thought in what kind of relationship we have. After all, we just chat online. I doubt I’m exactly the first friend that pops to mind. I just have to accept that,” Silent told her.
“Well, that’s always good to keep in mind. Doesn’t mean you should treat her any less. After all, she’s still your friend, and rank doesn’t matter in true friendships.” Bloomheart never knew she could give such good advice on relationships. Maybe she should try to be a matchmaker sometime.
“Yeah. I also just need to have hope. After all, I know she’s probably busy when she doesn’t respond. That, or the internet decides to be dumb again. Thanks, Miss Bloom! I’m feeling better already.”
“Take care!” Bloomheart collected herself and decided enough was enough. “I’m just going to hang out in that comic shop now. No more insane adventures for me.”
During the time Bloomheart waited for the raffle in the comic shop, she ended up helping a mother connect with her long-lost son, convince somepony not to commit suicide, and learn how to play Magic: The Gathering. It was a very busy hour.
“Alright everypony! Time for the raffle!” the owner announced. Everypony who’d entered that raffle was waiting there now, hoping for the chance to win the mint-condition first issue of the mystery comic.
“If I don’t win this comic after all the time I’ve spent in this mall I will eat something large and fatty,” Bloomheart said to herself. She knew that it didn’t sound very threatening or alarming, but at that point she probably wouldn’t care.
“Now, let’s see who our lucky winner is.” The pony reached into the pile of tickets and grabbed one in his mouth. He took it out and announced the winner. “The winner is, Blomheart!”
“YES! YES! YE-Wait, you mean Bloomheart, right?” she said, her heart sinking.
“Oh. Right. Sorry. Bloomheart.”
“HAH! EAT IT NERDS!” She went up to the counter and started dancing. She was about to get her final gift before heading home.
“Let’s see what mystery comic you’ve won, mam.” It what appeared to be slow motion, the drape covering the comic was taken away to reveal its papery goodness. “You’ve won the first ever copy of the comic, ‘Hoof of the South Star’! Congratulations!”
“What?” she said unenthusiastically. After all this time, all she ended up winning was a copy of the comic her own daughter worked on. That’d be like somepony making a book and then somepony close to them giving them a copy of the exact same story they made. “Um, can I trade that in for something else?”
“Hahaha! What a joker!” Everypony laughed at what she said and knew that she had just gotten herself in a pretty awkward situation.
“Heh, yeah, joke. You mind if I get two of those starter Magic decks as well?”
“Sure. Give her an applause, everypony!” Without another moment, Bloomheart grabbed her gifts and went straight home, hoping that it was all worth it.
“Hey everypony! I’m home!”
“Hey honey! Where’ve you been?” Pepperoni asked as she entered.
“Just some last minute shopping. Smells delicious here! Those cookies all ready?”
“Eeyup! Say, dear, I kinda made a scheduling mistake and, well, it looks like we’ll still be serving some customers today.”
“What?” she said confused. They’d always made a point to close the restaurant on both Hearth’s Warming Day and Eve so her family could be together.
“Yeah. The Wonderbolts had rented us again today. Apparently they have a show and want to eat here later on. Thankfully I got all our cooking done early,” Pepperoni said, pointing to his cookies.
“Aww. Thank you, dear. Wish I could’ve helped out, but honestly things have been so busy lately that I can barely keep track of time. Hay, I only just remembered yesterday that tomorrow would be Hearth’s Warming Day. Work’s just been insane lately with all these extra shifts.” Bloomheart then remembered what next week’s schedule would probably be like and shuddered at the thought.
“Well, hopefully you’ll be getting some help soon enough. After all, this is the time for miracles.”
“Unless there’s miracle of an army of new nurses coming I doubt I’ll get a break. Anyway, I’ll put these gifts away for now. Don’t want anypony peeking at what they got.” She looked at Pepperoni’s face as he remembered last year’s fiasco when he found his gift. He’d never realized how flammable his house actually was.
“Hey mom!” Sound greeted as she came downstairs. “Where were you? I wanted to find out if you know when Cleversong’s coming over.”
“Sometime today is all I know. Hopefully they get here before the Wonderbolts show up.”
“Oh yeah. They’re supposed to be here today. Anyway, I actually managed to finish up the next two issues I was assigned to do just this morning. Can you believe that? Crunch time right before the holidays. Way to kill the fun.” She went to the kitchen and took out a pack of ramen. “Now I’m eating ramen. I’ve officially become the overworked artist.”
“At least you’re done. That’s the good thing,” her mom told her. “Anyway, let’s get ready for Cleversong. I need to wash up and get some rest before they arrive. Don’t want to fall asleep while she’s visiting.” She went upstairs to the bathroom and got herself washed. After doing so she decided to take her nap, remembering to set the alarm for 2PM. Didn’t want to sleep through everything that was going on. Without hesitation she then went down and went out.
“BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” the alarm went. Bloomheart got up, feeling energized once more. She fixed her mane and decided to wear a holiday sweater seeing as this is the only time of year you can do that and not look dumb. Checking out how she looked in the mirror, she started talking to herself.
“Would you kiss me under the mistletoe? I know I’d kiss me under the mistletoe.” She went out into the hallway and passed Sound’s room. Seeing the door was open, she decided to peek in and see what she’d been up to.
“It’s so messy in here. Look at all these papers.” She picked up the crumbled papers in the floor and put them in the trash basket. “Honestly, she could at least keep the basket near her or something. Not exactly the hardest thing to do.” While organizing the pages, she noticed that Sound’s computer was open, the image of her screensaver moving around. “Oh, geez. I really shouldn’t…” she said, looking behind herself, “but I think I will.”
Using what she learned from the tech store, Bloomheart got on the computer and accessed the internet.
“Now, I really do wonder what I’d get if I search ‘mares having fun’. I mean, I know that he’s supposed to know what he’s talking about, but I’d just like to see for myself.” She typed in the phrase and, with caution, pressed the ‘Enter’ key. The results loaded and, to her surprise, nothing horrifying came up. “Guess he really didn’t know what he was talking about. Or…wait. There’s some little lock symbol in the upper right corner. Wonder what happens when I click-OH MY!” The moment Bloomheart clicked on the symbol she doomed herself to the uncensored internet. “There’s a lot of, um, what? What does that even mean?” she asked, confused and curious about the description in of the link. “I think I should probably get off here. After all, this is where she does work and other-“
“Mom?” Bloomheart turned around to see Sound standing at the doorway. “What are you doing with my stuff?”
“I-“ without intending to, Bloomheart hit the link to the page and it loaded. She tried to move the mouse to close the page, but it seemed stuck in place. She immediately jumped up and blocked the screen with her body. “I just wanted to figure out how your computer worked! That’s all. The salespony at that tech store in the mall was telling me about them and it was…interesting?” The computer behind her was starting to make very suspicious noises. Bloomheart tried to move the mouse without being seen and close the page, but it was easier said than done.
“What’s that noise? Did you mess up my computer?” she asked, anger rising in her voice.
“No! I’m…just…come on, work,” Bloomheart said, desperate to click out.
“Mom,” Sound said, getting closer, “I need you to get off my computer. I think you might be breaking-wait, WHAT IS THAT?” She pointed to something on her wall.
“What? Where?” Bloomheart asked, moving away from the computer. In a flash, Sound rushed over to computer to see what was going on.
“Now what’s…” Sound couldn’t say any more. She saw what was on the screen and fell silent. Bloomheart saw her daughter’s vacant expression and felt the blood rush to her face while her heart sank into her stomach. Without any expression, Sound clicked off the page and then turned her head over to her mother. “Mother,” she started, “why is it that there was fillyfooler stuff playing on my computer?”
“Well, you see, I wanted to see what would happen when I typed in the phrase ‘mares having fun’ and came across those results. When you came in I accidentally clicked on the link and that’s all.” Bloomheart’s explanation did nothing to lessen her daughter’s inquisitive glare. She kept on focusing in on her mother’s face, making her feel more awkward every passing second.
“Mother,” she said slowly, “are you sure you aren’t possibly…interested?”
“Wait, what?” Bloomheart was confused at her daughter’s statement before understanding what she meant. “No! I’m not...into THAT! It really was just an accident. Sound, dear, don’t read into this. I’m married to your father. I’m not interested in other mares. I just wanted to know what happens when you type that in. That’s all.”
“Well, alright. Just remember that on the internet, ANYTHING can be made wrong with just enough effort,” Sound explained.
“Well, I doubt that-“
“ANYTHING. Always have your guard up unless you want your sanity gone.” She closed up her computer and then exited her room.
“Sound?” her mother called out. “Please don’t tell your father this.”
“Why would I tell dad that I saw my own mother searching for things and coming across fillyfooler stuff?” The more Sound thought about it, the funnier it became. She soon started laughing and her mother joined in on it. Suddenly, Sound squealed a little. “Wait, what did I just do?”
“Hah! Looks like you inherited my little laugh from me after all. Guess I won that bet with your father,” she declared victoriously.
“Guess I also inherited your sexuality as well!” she teased as her mother went down the stairs.
“Shut it!” she yelled back. She could hear her daughter laughing, the occasional squeal coming up as well. “She is SO going to hate that squeal.”
“Alright, the Wonderbolts will be here in an hour. Hopefully Cleversong gets here soon so we can spend some time together,” Pepperoni remarked.
“Don’t worry. The weather’s been clear and nothing’s been in the news. I’m sure she’ll be here soon.” Bloomheart had her hooves crossed when she said that. She honestly had no idea what could be taking her so long.
“Maybe I should check out the train station. She might be stuck over there and I could see if there’ve been any delays,” Sound told them.
“Good idea. We’ll get everything else set up,” he told her. Right as Sound was trotting out the door, somepony started knocking.
“Hello? Is Pepperoni there?” a deep voice asked. Sound opened the door to find her boss, Mr. Bates, standing there.
“Hey Bates!” Pepperoni called out, stepping out of the kitchen.
“Hey Pep!” The two stallions bumped hooves and patted each other on the back. “So, guess I’m early then.”
“Yeah. The rest of the family isn’t here yet.”
“Wait, is Mr. Bates staying over here tonight?” Sound asked, confused.
“Sure! After all, the more the merrier, am I right?” While Sound and Bloomheart probably would have disagreed with that, it’d be rude to kick Mr. Bates out now, especially since they were going to have the Wonderbolts as customers.
“So, anything I can help out with while I’m here?” Bates asked.
“Well-“ Sound put her hoof over her mother’s mouth before she could say anything.
“Nope! Make yourself comfy. Take a seat and have a cookie. You want me to take those,” She saw the bag Bates had and asked, “Are those gifts?”
“Oh, yeah. If you don’t mind I’ll hold onto these for now.” He took the bag over to a booth and set them down. He removed his coat and placed it on his seat. “Now, if you don’t mind I’ll have a cookie.”
“Sure! Sound, you go out and find your sister. Your mom and I will finish up with whatever else needs doing.” Pepperoni went and got a cookie for Bates while Sound went out, leaving Bloomheart to figure out what’s left to do.
“So, what else needs doing?” she asked.
“Well, I could use some help with these pizzas,” Pepperoni answered. “They already placed their orders, so I’m cooking them right now and I’ll just keep them in the ovens for warmth.”
“Great. Just give me a list of pizzas for me and I’ll do those.” Pepperoni wrote down the list and Bloomheart got started. It felt like forever since she helped her husband out in the kitchen. Lately all of her shifts had her working late or so early that she was too tired to help out when she got home. “Hey, you mind listening to the radio while we cook?”
“Sure! Let me pick the station.” Pepperoni put on the radio and turned it on to a station playing holiday tunes. “Remember this one?” Bloomheart listened closely and remembered the song that was playing.
“Oh Celestia, it’s that one song about Zeebrea by all those artists. Nothing says the holiday seasons more than talking about a country ‘where nothing ever grows’ and ‘no rivers ever flow’.” The three of them laughed when they heard that.
“You know a really bad one?” Bates yelled out.
“What? Is it a song about spending eternity in Tartarus, cause that seems like the only normal conclusion for outdoing this one,” Pepperoni commented.
“Nah. It’s song called ‘Haggis for Hearth’s Warming Day’. It’s about somepony who’s looking for haggis before Hearth’s Warming Day,” Bates told them.
“We would have never guessed from such an archaic title,” Bloomheart said sarcastically. “But honestly, who makes songs like this? Do we honestly have a need for songs about one specific day out of the year?”
“I know! It gets weirder when it’s a regional song and you hear it of context,” Pepperoni said as he laid the cheese down. “I remember this song when I went to Manehattan. It was called ‘Fariytale of Manehattan’ and BOY did it get weird. In this song these two drunken sheep start calling each other bums, drunks and even a slut. This is a Hearth’s Warming Day song, mind you.”
“That’s one of my favorites!” Bates exclaimed. “When you’ve lived there you know that it really speaks the spirit of the city. I mean, how many other holiday songs have sheep calling each other fa-“ He quickly remembered where he was and changed what he said to, “fat.”
“Wow. Sounds like a jolly good time,” Bloomheart said. “Wow, I’m really feeling sarcastic with all these songs.”
“Wasn’t there some song about a dad getting drunk?” Pepperoni asked.
“I really doubt they went that far with songs,” his wife responded.
“No, they did. ‘Papa, Don’t Get Drunk This Hearth’s Warming Day’,” Bates told them. “Huh. I think I know why ponies get depressed during the holidays.”
“Yeah. A whole lot of these songs are really dark when you think about it. Bloomheart, you know where the mushrooms are?”
“Right here, babe.” She tossed them over to him, catching it with his wings.
“Thanks. Anyway, you know that really well-known song about it being cold outside and the mare wanting to go home?”
“Sure. What could possibly be dark about that song?” Bates asked.
“Well, the song’s lyrics are really, really suggestive. The mare’s saying that she needs to go home while this stallion begs her to stay. He keeps on saying it’s bad out there and at one point she asks, no joke, ‘what’s in this drink?’.” He paused for a moment to let it sink in. “Yeah. Guess what that sounds like.”
“Whatever. I’m holding onto my trump card,” Bloomheart told the two of them. “You guys say your songs and I’ll wait to see if they’re any worse than the one I know.”
“Ooh. Here’s my most depressing one.” Bates took a breath and said, “Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer’. Like, that sounds so racially charged against those guys that I’m surprised it even aired. The entire thing is some really weird country song about a grandma being killed. How messed up is that?”
“Wasn’t it a reindeer that made the song?” Pepperoni asked. “I mean, I’m sure that makes it okay then.”
“Maybe, but it really sounds weird otherwise. So, Miss Bloomheart, what song do you have to top ours?”
“Really, Bates? Pepperoni? None of you remembered the most depressing Hearth’s Warming Song of all time?” Bloomheart waited a couple seconds and then told them, “The Hearth’s Warming Day Boots.”
“Gah!” the two of them yelled out, realizing that they’d missed the most obvious choice.
“Yeah! The song’s about a foal who’s trying to get boots for his mother who is on her deathbed right before the holiday.”
“Actually, the song was from the stingy stallion’s perspective, remember?” Pepperoni pointed out.
“Oh yeah. That leads to the other horrifying part of the story where he says that he’s sure that the kid was sent to him to remember the true meaning of Hearth’s Warming Day.”
“What?!” Bates yelled out. “I forgot that!”
“Yeah. ‘Hey kid, sorry that your mom died. But hey, at least I learned the meaning of this holiday and I ALSO believe that this entire series of events was based around that’,” Bloomheart said in her imitation of a guy, causing the two colts in the room to chuckle. “So, yeah, I win,” she said as she slid the last of her pizzas into the oven.
“Can’t argue with that,” Bates said, taking one last bite of his cookie. “So anyway, why do the Wonderbolts come here again? Pepperoni told me once, but I can’t remember why.”
“Well, obviously it’s the quality of the food. Why else?” Pepperoni responded, partially offended.
“I meant why they come out here when they could find someplace to eat in Cloudsdale. It’s gotta be closer to where they are.”
“Bates, you wanna know exactly how many fast food places there are in Cloudsdale? None. Wanna know why? Cause apparently giant ovens can’t be supported on clouds. Why do you think I moved here to Ponyville?” Pepperoni had never told Bates about why he moved. To him this was all news.
“Huh. Do you miss-“
“Hey guys!” Sound announced. “Guess who I found?” She moved aside to let her big sister enter.
“Cleversong!” her parents yelled both rushing over to give her a big hug.
“Hey guys! Great to be back home!” She let go of both of them and took off her jacket. “Sorry I was late. The train apparently had issues and needed to stop for some repairs. Hope you didn’t get everything finished before I got here.”
“Aw, don’t play that. I always remember how much you hated getting decorations ready for the holidays,” her father reminded her.
“Yeah, but you kinda start to miss it when you live away from home, you know?” Cleversong looked at the occupied booth and said, “Oh, I didn’t realize there were customers here.”
“Actually, this isn’t a customer. Cleversong, meet my bud, and Sound’s boss, Mr. Bates,” Pepperoni beckoned him over and introduced each other. “Mr. Bates, this is my daughter-“
“Cleversong, yes. I can’t believe I’m actually seeing you in the flesh. Anyway, I work as Chief Editor at Trot Comics with your sister.” Pepperoni noticed that Bates looked nervous while talking with his daughter. “I remember your musical career.”
“Oh wow. Didn’t expect to find a fan here. Most ponies here never actually knew I hit it big. I kinda missed hearing compliments,” Cleversong joked. “Anyway, let me get set up in my old room. I need to help out Justice when he finally arrives.”
“Justice is here?!” Bloomheart exclaimed. She hadn’t expected him to come with her daughter.
“Of course! He hasn’t seen you guys in a while and decided to come with me. Right now he’s checking in at the inn and-“
“Wait just a second,” Pepperoni interrupted. “You telling me that he came all this way and he’s checking in at an inn? Why doesn’t he stay here? We have an extra room he can stay in.”
“Well, it’s just-“
“Nope. I won’t have him spend money on a place to stay while he can stay here. After all, he’s almost like family, right?” Everypony looked intently at Cleversong’s reaction to see if she’d give hints to whether he’d finally proposed.
“Alright then. I’ll let him know that they can stay here. I’ll be quick!” she told them as she flew to the inn.
“Wow, she’s a pretty fast flyer,” Bates commented. “You like that, Sound?”
“For more than one reason, no.”
“Oh yeah. That thing you have with heights. Anyway,” he paused for a moment, thinking about something. “Did she say, ‘they’?”
“Obviously. Justice brought his brothers as well,” Sound told them. “I…didn’t mention that, did I?”
“No! Now I have to figure out how to make room for his brothers as well.” Bloomheart then realized, “Wait, how many brothers does he have?”
“Three,” Sound replied as if they should already know this. “You guys should already know this from all those times she called about how she was doing.”
“WE DON’T REMEMBER EVERYTHING. WE SOMETIMES DO NOT CARE,” Bloomheart explained. “It might sound a little mean, but it’s the truth.”
“Okay, dear. Just calm down. The room is large enough that four stallions could fit in there. I’ll just make sure that there isn’t anything stored in there that’s taking up all the room.” Pepperoni went to check while Bloomheart was trying to calm down.
“I can do this. I’m a mother. We can do the impossible easily.” She took a deep breath and managed to collect herself. “I have enough mattresses for four stallions. They’ll just need to share. Also I’ll need to stock up on food for them. Can’t have them be hungry.”
“Mom, I don’t think that a restaurant will need to worry about running out of food for just for ponies,” Sound explained, knowing that her mom’s “calm” expression was better described as “accepting insanity”.
“How about I help out a little?” Bates offered. “I have a bunch of gift basket food that employees gave me and I know I’ll never eat all the stuff. Take some as my own little gift to you.”
“Wow. Thanks, boss!” Sound told him.
“No problem. Your mom looks like she’d blow a gasket otherwise.”
“I probably would,” she told them with a smile.
“Awesome. I’ll head to my place and get the food. You guys continue doing…stuff I guess. I really don’t know what’s going on anymore.” He grabbed his jacket and left for his place, hoping he could carry all the food he honestly couldn’t care about.
“Hey, what else were we supposed to be doing?” Sound asked, knowing that something else was supposed to happen now.
“I’m not sure. I know we are forgetting something though.” Bloomheart and Sound thought about what they could possibly have forgotten when somepony knocked on the door.
“Mom, you did remember the pizzas, right?”
“OH NO! I-“ Bloomheart freaked out for a moment, but then remembered that they’d already taken care of that. “Actually, we’re all set on that. Bring them in and I’ll set them down.” Bloomheart felt like things were actually falling into place. After all, what could possibly go wrong?
Things actually went smoothly after the Wonderbolts had been served, and it looked like Bloomheart would actually get through the rest of the day unscathed. Pepperoni had found a ton of workout equipment in the guest room that, when he thought about it, never actually bought any.
“Have we ever actually used this room before?” he remarked when dragging out a treadmill.
“Not that I know of,” Sound replied, helping her dad. “Maybe it’s some magic room that appears whenever we need something.”
“Really?” Pepperoni asked, looking at all the workout equipment. “I don’t like what my house is trying to imply.”
“Same here. I found a stack of magazines that talked about the comic book industry being a dead-end.”
“I found tombstones with our names and birth dates, along with dates of death.”
“Dad, now I know you’re messing with me.”
“I really wish I was,” he said solemnly.
“What?”
“Nah! Just joking.”
“Good. It’s bad enough that I can’t afford to move out. I don’t want the house conspiring to kill me as well.” Sound sighed and said, “Maybe Mr. Bates will give me a raise as a gift. You think?”
“Nah. I think I know what he’s up to,” Pepperoni replied, his facial expression actually looking pretty serious. “Let’s just say you’ll remember his gift if he finally manages to give it.”
“Um…okay?” Sound hated when ponies were cryptic. You’re not helping anypony but yourself when you talk like that.
“Pepperoni, dear, you finished with that spare room?” Bloomheart asked.
“Almost! Just need to find someplace to store this equipment now. Maybe just throw it outside?”
“That’ll look terrible for business just having a bunch of workout equipment left outside,” Bloomheart pointed out. “What would customers think?”
“That we not only give them pizza, but the means to burn it off?” he replied, half joking and half serious. “You know, we should probably not worry about it for now. As long as it’s not in the way we’ll be fine. Besides, I can’t come up with a better plan anyway.”
“Okay. Come back here so we can wash up and-“ Bloomheart was suddenly interrupted as the door to her restaurant was blown right open, several ponies entering as the wind rushed outside.
“Shut the door!” Spitfire yelled. She was closest to it was getting snow blown right at her.
“Sorry!” one of the ponies entering said, shutting it behind him. “It got really bad out there.” The mystery pony took off his hood to reveal that it was Justice.
“Justice!” Bloomheart exclaimed as she approached the stallion, giving him a big hug. “So glad you came! A bit of a surprise, that’s for sure, but still nice.” She looked at the three other ponies in coats and asked, “Is Cleversong with you?”
“She’s actually talking with some ponies outside. She said that she knew them and went right off. Anyway, let me introduce you to my brothers.” Justice stood to the side and called each brother forward. “This here is Procedural Justice. He’s currently an attorney for Manehattan and engaged to a supermodel.”
“The pleasure is all mine, mam. To make things easier on you, just call me Pro,” he said in a deep voice. The pegasus had a light blue coat and black mane pulled back. “They always do so in the courtroom. Never lost a case.”
“Too bad that doesn’t translate into helping out society,” one of the smaller brothers spat out. This one had a darker blue coat with a wild white mane.
“And this…” Justice put his hoof to his face to gather himself, “is Social Justice. He currently does-“
“What he does is do nothing but protest against any case that has anypony who’s not an actual pony or just an earth pony as the defendant,” Pro said, staring sternly at his younger brother. “Even when it’s clear that they committed the crime and there’s evidence.”
“You’re just a pawn of the oppressive establishment, sending anypony who speaks out against the system into prison!” The two were an inch away from each other’s faces, looking down each other with absolute fury.
“Now come on you two. Social, I’m sure that Pro never losing a case means that he’s always proven the defendants guilty because they actually committed a crime.” Pro looked self-righteous with Justice defending him. “And as for you, Pro, you know that Social’s just trying to raise awareness of illnesses in society that would try and use your abilities for evil instead of good. Agreed?”
“Agreed,” the two of them mumbled.
“ You know, the two of you would probably get along much better if both of you weren’t such pansies,” the largest of the brothers told them. This one had a light green coat with a brown buzz cut mane.
“Hey! ‘Pansy’ is a derogatory term for homosexuals!” Social yelled out.
“Ugh, Social, every time you think a word’s offensive to somepony, even if they aren’t here you start blowing up.” Pro did not want to deal with this right now.
“Actually,” Spitfire raised her hoof, “I’m somepony who could be offended if you use words like that without thinking. In this case I’m not, but just be careful,” she told him as she drank from her mug.
“Boom! Victory!” Social cheered.
“But yeah, you two are kinda pansies,” she then told them both, sending the other brother into a roaring fit of laughter.
“Anyway, I’m Retributive Justice, but everypony just calls me Ret. I’m a Captain in the Royal Guard, and I bring the pain to any fool who dares to make a joke of the law.”
“Well, nice to meet you all! My husband is currently clearing the room that you’ll be staying in. He just needs to find out where to put the stuff we pulled out,” Bloomheart explained.
“We’ll help! Come on boys! Gotta help out our host!” Ret yelled out, the four leaving to help Pepperoni.
“Actually, Justice dear, you mind staying here a moment?” Bloomheart asked.
“Sure. Need me for something else?” he asked.
“No. I was just wondering how long your brother, the one with the supermodel, has been engaged.”
“He’s been engaged since Hearts and Hooves Day. They’re hoping to get everything else set up by the end of winter.”
“Is that so? Well, I’m so glad that he proposed. After all, mares that are in relationships for that long sometimes wonder about that and can actually feel like they’re being used.”
“True. I’m glad he proposed. Seemed like he never would.” Justice was obviously not getting the hint.
“Hey, we doing the thing?” Sound asked as she came through the hallway.
“Yes,” Bloomheart told her, giving her the signal to join in. “Say, any news on whether A.C. is finally going to propose to Pawpads?”
“Not sure. I think he’s still a bit discouraged from the last attempt he made.”
“Well, I’m sure he won’t have any other hydras attack him in-“
“Oh, that was just his first failure,” Sound corrected. “His recent failure had him kneel on the floor and just as he was about to ask he knelt on a nail. He ends up stabbing his knee on it and fell back onto a cart. That cart apparently goes right into a sawmill for some reason and, long story short, he loses both his forearms.”
“WHAT?!” Bloomheart and Justice yelled out.
“Yeah. He actually doesn’t like to talk about it since it reminds him of all the therapy he had to have afterwards.” Bloomheart gave her daughter a menacing stare, as if to tell her that that was the last thing Justice needed to hear about proposals.
“Well, I better see how my brothers are doing. After all, they can get pretty rough at times.” He left the two alone, Sound looking as if she wanted to join him.
“Really?” the mother asked in disbelief. “You could have just lied about it. It’s not like he would even meet A.C. to ask him that.”
“Hey everypony! Guess who I found in the storm?” Cleversong called out, bringing both A.C. and Pawpads in. Pawpads was shivering relentlessly while A.C. tried to stay completely still as possible. “It’s getting pretty bad out there.”
“We actually got lost on the way from the mall. Stupid snowstorm started making it impossible to see,” A.C. complained.
“Cleversong, did you keep them out there all this time while you were talking with them?” her mother asked.
“Oh.” She looked at the two and saw that they had decided to head into the kitchen and huddle near the open ovens, A.C. moving stiffly. “It looks like I did. Sorry guys.”
“Dang. It really does look bad out there. You think that Mr. Bates is okay out there?” Sound asked.
“I really hope so. It’d be really awful if he got caught out there.” Bloomheart worried about Mr. Bates, especially since she was the reason he went out in the first place. “Hey, how exactly did the rest of the story go for A.C.? He obviously has his forearms back, so something must have happened.”
“Apparently it was a really clean cut, so the doctors just sewed them back on. He was feeling better in a month and you can’t even see the scars,” Sound explained.
“Huh. Guess things really did work out for him then. We should tell Justice that. After all, I’m sure he still thinks that A.C.’s a crip-“
“STOP!” a voice from the hallway yelled. “Were you about to say, ‘cripple’?”
“Oh snap!” Sound whispered. “I totally just remembered that you REALLY need to be careful about what you say around Social. He can detect a politically incorrect word from a mile away and will zoom like a rocket to correct you. I’ve heard stories about him from Cleversong. She says that he once tried to get a word banned from the dictionary because it almost sounded like a racial slur.”
“Really? What was the word?”
“Niggardly. It means that you’re being stingy,” Sound explained.
“Oh.” The mother thought that over and asked, “What’s the racial slur it sounds like?”
“I have NO idea. He just said that it definitely sounds like one though. Needless to say it wasn’t approved. He’s pretty odd that way. I think the only time he doesn’t complain about that sort of stuff is when he’s working as a barista.”
“So that’s what he does. The rest of the brothers seem to be in law though. Justice is trying to be a judge if I’m correct.” Bloomheart had a second realization at that moment. “Hey, what’s Justice’s full name?”
“What do you mean? It’s Justice?” Sound replied.
“All his other brothers have another name or title before ‘Justice’. He’s got to have something as well.” Sound opened her mouth to answer, but found she had nothing to say.
“Actually, I have no idea. I never thought there was anything else to his name. He certainly never told us. You know what? Let’s go ask him right now.” The two went to the hallway to find Justice. They found him with Pepperoni and his brothers stacking the workout equipment like a board game.
“If anypony asks, let’s just say its interpretive art,” Pepperoni told them.
“Hey Justice. You mind answering a question?” Sound asked.
“Sure. What’s on your mind?”
“Mom and I were just talking and totally realized that all your brothers are named ‘Justice’ as well. Or at least it’s their last name. What’s your full name?”
“What?!” Justice’s three brothers yelled out.
“Big brother, you never told them your full name?” Pro asked.
“Big?” Pepperoni asked, surprised. “Is Justice really the oldest one of you guys?”
“Justice is oldest, I’m after him, Ret’s second youngest, and Social just turned 15,” Pro clarified.
“Hey, cut him some slack. You know we did the exact same thing for a while as well,” Social told them.
“I agree with the shrimp on this one. But we usually let them know that it was just a nickname, not our full name,” Ret replied.
“Well, yeah. I never told them my full name. It seemed like something I would get to, but never did,” Justice said, excusing himself.
“Justice? What’s going on?” Cleversong asked. “I overheard the commotion and wanted to see what you guys were yelling about.”
“You mind telling her now?” Pro asked. “No point in hiding it anymore now that we’re all here.”
“Yeah. Each time they ask for ‘Justice’ I immediately want to turn around and reply,” Ret added.
“Alright. Fine. Cleversong,” he started nervously, “my full name isn’t ‘Justice’.”
“Wait, really? I mean, I just thought your other brothers just had that last name because they wanted to show they were family. It’d make sense that you’d be named ‘Justice’ since that alone works.” Cleversong realized that she should have realized something was up with his name earlier.
“Well, like my brothers, I have a first name.” The other brothers snickered as he prepared to say his full real name. “My full real name is Restorative Justice.”
“What?” Cleversong and the rest of her family asked.
“Yeah, I know that it’s a terrible first name. I mean, just look at my brothers and their names. What kind of parent names their child ‘Retributive Justice’? They were completely awful at giving us names.”
“It makes even less sense when you consider that our parents were a home salespony and a reporter,” Social told them.
“I’m fairly certain mom said that it was a tie between the different forms of justice and types of doctors. My name was possibly going to be ‘Heart Surgeon’,” Ret told them.
“Anyway, we all would just call ourselves ‘Justice’ seeing that it at least soundesounded impressive. It only became an issue when through some series of events the two of us would have to work with each other and everypony else needed to identify who was who,” Pro explained. “Seeing as he has managed to keep the title the longest, I say that we let him keep the name. You agree, brothers?”
“Right,” they replied.
“Cleversong, honey, I hope you understand what I was doing. I just really hated my name. That’s all.” Justice looked at his girlfriend who still had on her expression of disbelief. “Please don’t think of me as a liar.”
“Oh Justice. I don’t think you’re a liar.” She gave him a peck on the cheek before telling him, “I just think your name is absolutely terrible. Though it doesn’t surprise me that your parents would give you guys names like that when they thought they were being creative by naming their dog ‘cat’.”
“What in Celestia is that?!” one of the Wonderbolts yelled out. Bloomheart’s group rushed over to see what was going on and saw what the Wonderbolts had freaked out about. In their doorway was a massive pony covered in black robes and a mask. He wore goggles and had something strapped to his back.
“You better explain before we bring the pain!” Ret yelled at the figure, the Wonderbolts getting in formation.
“Explain what?” Social asked.
“You know. His name and why he’s here. Obvious stuff.”
“How do you know that it’s a ‘he’?”
“Social! Not now!” Everypony yelled. The giant, cloaked figure got closer and took off the mask and goggles to reveal it was none other than Mr. Bates.
“Bates! You’re alright!” Pepperoni exclaimed.
“Did you see it out there? I needed to dress up like a ninja buffalo to get through this weather!” He took off his cloak and revealed that the things strapped to him were baskets. “Anyway, here are the baskets of food as promised. This basket’s from Golden Belle. This one’s from Frank. Lastly, this one was from Merle.”
“Thank you so much, Bates!” Bloomheart said, giving him a hug. “This’ll help us out. Hope you’re not giving away too much good stuff.”
“Nah. It’s mostly fruit. I’m a grains stallion myself. At least you guys will use it. I’d probably turn it to compost. Also, Sound, if you tell anypony about this you’re fired.”
“As long as I don’t know what you do with the stuff I give you I’m fine,” she replied. Bloomheart took a deep breath of relief. With everypony here they could finally begin the festivities.
What was originally supposed to be a small party with just the family turned out to be much bigger. The Wonderbolts, unable to leave with the weather, decided to hang out with the family. Pepperoni took the radio from the kitchen and turned it on for everypony to enjoy some holiday tunes. Bates had also taken the liberty of bringing some of her own personal Poison Joke Juice stash from his house to bring to the party. Things got in full swing pretty quickly after that.
The first thing that Pepperoni did in the party was try to play the game ‘Who can offend Social the fastest?’ When Social heard that, he said that having a game like that was mean spirited, so Pepperoni won the game right there. Everypony else went off and then started doing their own things.
“Ya know, I’ve never met a mare as tough as you,” Ret told Spitfire. “So you’re not available to stallions then, huh?”
“Sorry, big guy, but I’m a lady’s mare,” she replied.
“Story of my life. All the tough mares I meet either have somepony else or are just like you. Hope there isn’t some weird connection.”
“Isn’t it obvious? Us fillyfoolers get super-strength whenever we see other mares. Why do you think there are so many mares with the Wonderbolts?” she joked. “Now I can’t even tell if I’m joking since most of the mares in the Wonderbolts actually are fillyfoolers.”
“Really?” Ret asked. “Guess I just lost that bet against Pepperoni.”
“You made a bet against Pepperoni dealing with somepony’s sexuality? Ha! You lost the moment you accepted it. He’s never lost a bet with somepony’s sexuality. He can tell if you’re gay or straight in just a second.” What Spitfire said gave Ret an idea.
“Actually, I know one pony he’d never be able to guess.”
“Really? Who’re talking about?”
“Trust me on this; bet in favor of him not being able to guess this pony’s sexuality and you’ll make a mint,” he told her. “Yo, Pep! Wanna make another bet?”
“Sure! Guess you wanna make up for your loss, huh?” he teased. “Hey guys, I’m starting another bet! Wanna enter the pool?”
“Geez, Pepperoni, seriously?” his wife asked. Apparently other ponies were interested and came forward, even Sound.
“So, what’s the new bet?” Pepperoni asked.
“Hold on a sec. Social, c’mon over here!” Ret yelled.
“What is it?” Social asked innocently.
“Pep, I want you to try and guess my brother’s sexuality.”
“Wait, what?” Social asked. “You honestly don’t see anything wrong with doing something like that?”
“Trust me, bro. This guy claims he can tell anypony’s sexuality just by looking at him. Don’t ya wanna make him check himself before he wrecks himself?” Ret told his brother, trying to invoke the social justice warrior within him.
“You know what? Sure. Let’s see what this guy apparently thinks of sexuality,” Social said in a way that sounded like he was challenging him.
“Alright! Everypony place a bet! Chances of me being correct are probably one-to-one. Me being wrong, well, let’s say you get triple. Hope you can pay up, Ret.” Pepperoni told him.
“I will,” he said confidently.
“You know what? I’ll take my chances with you. Fifty bits against Pepperoni,” Spitfire said, shocking everypony else. They’d all placed their money on Pepperoni.
“Alright; write down your sexuality and I’ll write down my guess. That way it’s all fair.” Pepperoni and Social wrote their things down and Pepperoni revealed his answer. “Based on your mannerisms, build speech pattern, and gut instinct, I come to the conclusion that you are,” he paused a moment, building up tension, “ASEXUAL!”
“Wow. That’s a twist. You never go with that one,” Sound commented.
“Ugh, really?” Social said. “At least you know more than one kind of sexuality at least. Here; educate yourself.” Social took out the piece of paper he’d written on, Pepperoni trying to read it.
“Heterodemisexual?” he said, confused.
“Eeyup. That means that I’m only attracted to other ponies of the opposite sex that I’ve developed an emotional bond with,” Social explained. The expression on Pepperoni and most other pony’s faces was a combination of shock and confusion.
“But…doesn’t that essentially mean you’re straight?” he asked.
“Really? That’s all you would define it as? You need to check your privilege,” Social said as he trotted away, head held up high with a smile.
“Well, I guess you owe somepony some money, then, huh?” Spitfire said.
“I…lost?” Pepperoni couldn’t believe that he’d lost. He’d never failed a wager like that. Slowly, he collected the bits from the pot and gave it to Spitfire, whose expression was firmly smug.
“Well, looks like you’re more than a well-built stallion, that’s for sure,” Spitfire complimented.
“Hey, body building is only second to mind building. Can’t uphold the law if you don’t know it,” he told her.
“That’s good to hear.” She took a gulp of her mug, finishing up the rest of her Poison Joke Juice. “Say, if you are interested in finding a Wonderbolt who actually likes stallions, hit up Misty. She may be a bit cold at first, but she’s a pretty nice girl once you break through. If you want I can wingmare for you.”
“You know what? That sounds pretty cool. Let’s do it!” The two got out of the booth and approached the available mare. In the meantime, Pawpads and A.C. were chatting with Cleversong and Justice.
“I can’t believe it’s been so long since we saw each other!” Pawpads told Cleversong.
“I know! Feels like forever since I moved to Manehattan. I was nervous at first, but now it’s going great,” she told her friend. “So, how’ve things been at the vet’s office?”
“Pretty good! I actually came across a Phoenix last month. It was pretty awesome to work with. You appreciate it much more once the burns have fully healed.” Pawpads showed her right forearm, which was covered in bandages.
“So what was wrong with the little guy?”
“He had a bad stomach ache. Apparently Phoenix’s like to eat Fruit Bats somehow and had one with rabies. She didn’t catch it, but it still didn’t sit well in her stomach. Say, I have to freshen up. Wanna join me?”
“Sure!” The two got up from the table, leaving A.C. and Justice alone with each other. Up to that point they had never met each other and had no real knowledge of each other.
“So…you’re a district judge?” A.C. asked.
“In training. Still a bit young, but I’m hopeful,” he replied, taking a sip from his mug. “Say, I heard something about you and just wanted to know something.”
“What?”
“How exactly do you still have your forearms after that sawmill incident?” Justice saw A.C.’s eyes freeze for a moment as he replayed the event in his head.
“Well, it was a pretty clean cut, so the doctors just sewed them back on,” he explained.
“Really? So what about you and Pawpads then? From what I’ve heard it sounded like you were gonna propose to her but haven’t since.”
“Well, it’s probably been the traumatic events that have occurred whenever I’ve made an attempt to propose, plus another feeling of not being ready to commit that’s slowly been creeping back up in my mind thanks to this one mare who hit on me. You know that I was a real player before Pawpads, right?”
“Frankly A.C., I have almost no idea who you are. Everything I’ve heard about you had been from Cleversong’s messages with Sound, so this is all new to me,” Justice explained.
“Guess I better introduce myself better then. I’m A.C., hometown of Appleloosa, Pawpad’s coltfriend, and independent musician.”
“Justice. Hometown of Manehattan, Cleversong’s coltfriend, and currently studying law.” Justice ate one of the grapes on his plate and asked, “So what kind of music have you made?”
“It’s mostly guitar stuff. I’ve made some hits and luckily the internet doesn’t hate my music. A bit difficult sometimes when worrying about pirates, but thankfully they have a conscience and don’t always go for the small guy. Hoping that someday I can make a band with Sound if anything. You know that she sometimes posts music online, right?”
“Yeah. Guess it helps your reputation when your older sister’s a former pop idol, doesn’t it?” Justice said, reminding him of Cleversong’s singing career.
“Totally. Definitely helps me out as well. Gets me even more exposure when I help publish songs with her. Or maybe it’s the other way around. I can never tell.”
“Hmm. Any chance I’ve heard your music?”
“Well,” A.C. mused over which songs were his most popular. “I did have one song that was on that singing high school show ‘Smile’, but they didn’t even give me credit for my remix. That one was called ’Filly Got Flank’ and I actually got a ton of downloads for that one after it aired specifically because the internet got outraged and just bought it like crazy.”
“Wait a second,” Justice said, fishing out his music player. “Do you mean this song?” Justice started playing the song and A.C.’s face lit up.
“Eeyup. That’s my version.”
“No way! A.C. stands for Apple Cider? Dude, I have all your songs!” Justice had suddenly turned into a fan girl at that moment.
“Really? And you paid for them? That’s awesome!”
“Yeah! Hey, would you mind signing my player?” Justice looked so eager that A.C. couldn’t tell if he should be creeped out or complimented.
“You know what? Sure. Let me see it.” He signed it with a marker he had on him and returned to the overjoyed fan. “Hey, you mind if I ask you a question?”
“Sure! What’s on your mind?”
“Well, I was just wondering about you and Cleversong. I mean, you guys have been together for a while and-“
“Let me guess; you wanna know if I’m going to propose to her anytime soon, aren’t you?” Whenever the topic of those two being together for a while popped up he knew where it was heading.
“Well, yeah. Definitely seems like something that would’ve come up by now. Don’t you guys already live together?”
“Look, it’s not THAT kind of living together. Right now it’s the ‘Three’s Company’ kind of living together where we couldn’t afford it otherwise. Neither of us have time for any hanky panky.” A.C. chuckled when he heard that.
“Sorry. I just think that’s a funny word.”
“Really? Panky. Pan-ky. Sounds foreign when you say it out loud, doesn’t it?” Justice couldn’t get through to A.C. with all his chuckling. “Anyway, we’re just too busy right now.”
“Then at least answer this; do you love her?” Justice was surprised at how quickly A.C. changed. One moment he’s laughing about the word ‘panky’, the next he’s asking questions about people’s emotions.
“What do you mean? Of course I do. What else could it be?” Justice suddenly felt the mood of this conversation getting dark.
“I don’t know. Does she know?” A.C. was sounding really cryptic right then.
“Of course! Why wouldn’t she?”
“When’s the last time you told her?”
“I just told her when, well, I know it was recently. It has to be.” The more Justice thought about it, the more he realized that he hadn’t actually told her so. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be those exact words, does it?”
“What do you think?” Justice was starting to get angry. At first he thought he was getting angry at A.C., but then realized that he was actually angry at himself. Before he could say anything, he saw Cleversong coming back. “Actually, hold on a moment.” Justice walked over to Cleversong and she started to say something.
“Hey honey. I was think-“ She was cut off as Justice kissed her right there in front of Sound and Bloomheart.
“To answer the question you guys have wanted to ask, no I have not proposed to her yet. However, I can say with absolute certainty that this is the mare I will marry. We just have some stuff to do first.” He then trotted back to his table, leaving the three shocked at what just happened. “To answer your question, A.C., no. You don’t always have to say those exact words when you already know it.”
“Oh. Well, damn. You showed me,” A.C. said, returning to his normal attitude. “Sorry that I went all cryptic on you there. It’s just that in the middle of our conversation I totally had I revelation.”
“And what’s that?” Justice asked.
“The only reason you haven’t asked her to marry you yet is because not only do you have things to do first, but you already know that you’ll marry her. I’m not asking out of the belief that I’ll something horrible happen to me again. You know what? You’ve convinced me,” A.C. said, taking a small box out of his pack. “I’m gonna ask Pawpads. Tonight. No more delays or worries. You got my back, bro?”
“I’ve got it all the way. Brohoof.” Justice put his hoof out and A.C. did the same, returning it. The deal had been sealed.
“Hey,” Cleversong said, snuggling right up to Justice. “Did I miss anything good?”
“Well, A.C.’s finally gonna propose to Pawpads, so there’s that,” Justice told her.
“Awesome!” she screamed out. “She shouldn’t be too long now. Are you gonna do it the moment she comes out?”
“Yeah. I’m too pumped and scared already. If I wait any longer it’ll just be painful,” A.C. explained. He downed his drink and looked behind to see Pawpads leaving the bathroom. “Well, so much for that.”
“No!” Justice and Cleversong yelled, pulling A.C. into his chair.
“You’ve come way too close to finally doing it. Come on! You got that ring several months ago! You know you’ve wanted to do this for a while, right? Don’t tell me that my sis was wrong about you.”
“I know! I just need something to give me a kick,” A.C. told them. Cleversong decided to grant his wish by kicking him from under the table. “Ow! Alright! I’m on it. Justice, keep an eye on me in case I start to run out of here, okay?”
“Don’t worry. Just do your stuff.” Feeling confident, he got up from the table and approached Pawpads. Justice then turned to his girlfriend and asked, “So I give the big inspiring speech or talk about relationships and such and you get him moving by kicking him?”
“It’s a pretty good motivator,” she told him. “Besides, it takes all kinds to motivate somepony. You bring the logic and I bring the pain.”
“Great. You’re starting to sound like Ret. Next thing you’ll be lifting weights and going on about being the law or something.”
“I AM THE LAW!” she yelled out in her deepest voice, sending them both laughing.
“Hey, Pawpads, you mind talking?” A.C. asked nervously.
“Sure! What’s going on?” She saw the way he was shaking and asked, “Is something bothering you, or are you still shaking from the cold?”
“No. It’s actually something else.” He took a deep breath and knelt down. “Pawpads, I-“
“BANG! BANG! BANG!” went the door, interrupting the nervous stallion.
“Who the hay could that be in this weather?” Bloomheart asked. She looked out the window and saw that it was their neighbors and rivals from across the street.
“Who is it?” Pepperoni asked.
“It’s Burger Belcher and his family. Dunno why they’d come over here now.” Bloomheart knew that her husband and Belcher shared a rivalry that only restaurant owners could know. Hopefully they could keep things civil on Hearth’s Warming Eve.
“He wishes to challenge me obviously!” Pepperoni said, dashing any hopes Bloomheart had of things being civil.
“Why don’t we give them a chance in the name of the holidays,” she told him, his stern look of disapproval not diminishing. “Whatever. I’m opening it up anyway.” She opened the door, struggling against the strong wind and greeted the family. “Hey guys! What brings you here?”
“Our power went out and we’re freezing!” Linda Lettuce explained.
“Oh my! Sorry to hear that. Please come in.” The family’s three children came rushing in and immediately went to the nearest source of heat, which in this case was a busted radiator. Linda and her husband (and Pepperoni’s sworn enemy) Burger Belcher decided to talk with Bloomheart.
“Geez, thanks. Honestly we thought you’d turn us away with the way your husband acts,” Belcher told her.
“This guy right here tries to light a fire in his restaurant just so we don’t have to come over here. Can you believe that?” said Linda.
“Honestly, that sounds like something Pepperoni would do if something like this happened. Why, one time-“
“I’m sorry, Miss Bloomheart, but do you mind showing me the restroom? Kinda been holding it in for a while out there,” Belcher asked.
“Sure. Pepperoni dear, show Mr. Belcher where the bathroom is!” Pepperoni came forward, his face scrunched up as if he’d eaten something terrible.
“Come this way, sir,” he said sarcastically.
“Hey, thanks for letting our family in. I know we fight and all, but it really means something for me,” Belcher told his rival.
“While you may be happy, I’m still annoyed. Every time we meet you do something that just gets me so agitated that I end up doing something stupid. Like that drinking contest a couple months ago where I end up making myself look like an ass in front of my daughter.”
“Hey, ‘ass’ is a derogatory term for donkeys. Don’t go spreading hate,” Social told him as he randomly passed by.
“What was-“
“One of my daughter’s boyfriend’s brothers. Who is staying here. Along with three others.” Pepperoni felt like he should react to this somehow, but didn’t know how.
“Wow. And I thought I had it bad when my in-laws came to visit. At least they’re actually related to me, you know? Kinda overreacted to that thing,” Belcher told him.
“What’d you end up doing?”
“I ended up hiding in the walls of my restaurant and couldn’t even get out when I tried. Went temporarily insane as a result.”
“Ha! Sounds terrible. I almost ended up doing something like that once, but I remembered that I could just hide in the bathroom. After a while nopony wants to know what’s taking you so long.” Pepperoni thought back to all the times he managed to save his restaurant from debt collectors with using the bathroom trick. Eventually the bank just stopped sending ponies and threatened to demolish the place unless he paid them.
“Wish I could do that. My kids would just break down the door and push me out, even with my pants down. You have it easy compared to me, Pepperoni.”
“Oh really? Sounds like a challenge.”
“Just look at them now. I don’t even need to see what they’re doing to know that it isn’t good.” The two looked around the corner and peeked in on the kids. Silver Lining, one of the Wonderbolts, saw the two spying and decided to keep eating his pizza. From where they were they could see what Belcher’s kids were up to.
“Wow! This is good pizza!” Guacamole Gene said as he grabbed several slices from the tray. “I wonder if it’s be better snack sized.” He rolled up the pieces and stuffed them all in his mouth at once. He tried chewing, but couldn’t bite through all the crust.
“So, I was wondering if any of you guys share a locker room when you get ready for shows,” Teriyaki Tina asked Fleetfoot and Lightning Strike, both of whom were actively trying to ignore her. “I’m doing this thing for school and it’d be neat to know that. Or would either of you like to show me yourselves?” She sat right next to them in the booth, the two attempting to slide away with her following behind.
“Wow. I can see what you’re talking about,” Pepperoni told him.
“Hey, where’s Louise?” Belcher, asked.
“Your third kid? Don’t worry; she’s a good kid. She helped me out with making that pizza before, even when we fighting each other.” Pepperoni didn’t know that Limburger Louise was actually hoping to push him in the oven and make it look like an accident. Belcher didn’t have the heart to tell him that.
“Well, not always. Hopefully she isn’t trying to cause chaos like she usually does.” He looked around and saw her approaching the table where A.C. was trying to build himself up once more to propose with Cleversong and Justice’s help.
“Don’t worry. You at least started to ask her,” Cleversong told him. “And hey, compared to what happened with you the last two times you can definitely consider this an improvement.”
“Yeah, I actually think you’re right! I can do this!” A.C. yelled out.
“Do what?” The three of them turned around to see a young mare wearing a pink hat leaning against the table.
“I’m finally gonna ask the mare of my dreams to marry me,” he told her with a smile on his face.
“Really? In front of all these ponies? Aren’t you worried about what she’ll say?” Louise looked like she was about to have some real fun.
“What do you mean? She’ll say yes!” he replied, his faith starting to shaken.
“How can you be sure? Maybe she’s starting to lose interest in you. Hey, maybe you’re starting to lose interest in her. After all, if it’s this difficult to ask her then you know you aren’t sure. Am I right?”
“Uh…no! It’s not that at all. I’ve just been busy with-“
“With another mare?” A.C. took a step back when he heard that.
“How did you know about-“
“Cathy? I know ponies. They tell me things. Things like you two going out last week and you never telling anypony else about it?” Cleversong and Justice were shocked to hear this and gave A.C. a stern glare.
“Well, I guess that’s one thing,” he confessed. “It’s also that-“
“Whatever. Say, what about you two? Tying the knot also?” Louise asked Cleversong and Justice.
“Not yet,” Cleversong told her with her glare still holding onto A.C.
“I could never tell why anypony would want to get married. I mean, you stay with one pony the rest of your life and have a couple foals and die. Sounds depressing, and trust me when I say I know depressing; I’ve seen my dad try to work out.”
“Not everypony’s like that in a marriage,” explained Justice. “You see-“
“And the foal thing. You know how terrible we are? Just look at Gene and Tina.” She pointed over to Gene, currently drooling while still attempting to eat the pizzas, and then Tina, who was currently harassing the Wonderbolts about locker rooms and such. “And those two are easy. You’ll have to worry about a kid like me, and I’m brutal.”
“I doubt you’re that bad,” Cleversong told her foolishly.
“Hmm, you think that? Hey! You with the five bit haircut!” she yelled at Pro. “Yeah! You! Come here.”
“What’s going on here?” Pro asked.
“You two realize that this guy is bald, right? That thing’s obviously a toupee.” Pro looked taken aback by such an insult.
“It is NOT a toupee. I just have very immaculate-“
“Yoink!” With a jump, she managed to grab the piece right off of him, exposing his deep secret in front of everypony.
“Pro! You’re bald? How? You’re younger than me.” Justice asked, worried about his own hairline.
“Don’t look at me!” he cried, running off to the bathroom. Louise held on the hair as if it were a trophy.
“Yeah. Imagine having somepony like me as one of your own now.”
“Limburger Louise!” her mother yelled. “How dare you make that stallion cry in front of everypony.”
“Hey, I was just trying to warn these two about what they’re getting into. Not my fault if the truth’s ugly,” she told them.
“The only thing that’s ugly is what you’re gonna get!” Linda grabbed her daughter’s ear and started pulling on it.
“Owowowow! Come on, mom! You’re embarrassing me!”
“You are going to give that nice stallion his hard back and apologize, you hear me! Gene, spit that out! Tina, stop bothering those boys.”
“Yes, mom.”
“Um, excuse me Linda, but I think I should get my brother. After all, it’s the bathroom and all,” Social explained.
“Sure. We’ll be right here,” Linda told him, still holding onto Louise’s ear.
“Huh. I guess you were right after all,” Pepperoni told Belcher. “Never had to deal with that kind of stuff. Except, of course the time my youngest ran away from home and joined a rock band. While she was fifteen.”
“Wait, seriously?” Belcher replied.
“Yeah. She was gone for several months. Told us that she ran away and all that. You know that rainbow mane of hers? Was actually green when she left, but one of the ponies in that band apparently was a hair stylist who ended up using magic on it to give her that look. Was never able to undo it.” Pepperoni’s flashback to that time was interrupted by Belcher’s laughter.
“Wow! And here I thought everything for you guys was perfect. Turns out that all kids at some point are really terrible. Mine are just going through their awful phase.”
“Enjoy it while it lasts. It’s the only time when you can drink early in the afternoon and say it’s because you had a busy day,” he explained. “Now whenever I do that I just look like an alcoholic.”
“Well I know I could go for a drink right now. Mind joining me?”
“Sure. Bates has some pretty good stuff.” The two rivals decided that, for at least this night, they would have peace.
“Pro, come on. You can’t hide in there all night,” Social said, banging on the door.
“You don’t know that. I bet I could hide in here until New Year’s,” he told his younger brother through the door.
“Yeah, but then you’ll be known as the brother that spent Hearth’s Warming Day in a bathroom. You know that Ret would never let that down, right?”
“I know. I just need to collect myself. After all, I just lost my hair and my dignity.”
“Come on, Pro. So you’re prematurely bald. Think about how tough that’ll make you look in the courtroom. You’ll look even more mature and could probably get the criminals to confess on the spot.” Social really wasn’t sure on the positives of being bald, but he was going to find something at least. “Also, at least you’re engaged, so you won’t have to worry about a new style to impress all the mares.”
“Social, I gotta tell you something. Hold on.” The door clicked, letting Social know that it was unlocked. He entered to find his older brother with his face soaked in water.
“Geez, Pro, you look awful. Try drying off.” Social picked up some paper towels and gave it to his brother.
“Thanks. Listen, the truth is that I’m not actually engaged to anypony.” Pro said this like it was nothing while his brother appeared to be completely thrown off.
“What? How? You told us all that you were engaged to…um…you never actually told us her name, did you?”
“No. I just told you guys that and for some reason you never bothered to ask me any questions. Really weird how you just accepted it and didn’t bother asking.”
“Why did you lie though? Doesn’t seem like there’s a reason to lie about being engaged.” As Social thought about it, he came to a conclusion. “Unless-“
“No, Social. I am not a coltcuddler who’s hiding it by saying I’m engaged,” Pro told him, knowing where his brother would go. “Honestly, I didn’t want to be thought of as just an attorney with nothing else in his life. You guys think I’m just a law book with legs.”
“We know you’ve got other interests.” Social told him. “Like...um…rock climbing?”
“See? When Justice introduced me all he could say is that I’m an attorney who’s engaged to a supermodel. I can’t believe you guys forgot about my nerdy passions. Remember that time when we fought over ‘Oligarchy’? I said it was my turn to input into the Senate while Ret said that he was promised counsel. He ended up declaring a military coup and burnt the game board after that.”
“Oh yeah! After that he said we’d only play ‘Conquest’ and that the only way we’d play something else is if we defeated him in a game.” Social remembered the fun times he had with his brothers. He was the youngest, so some of them had really different interests, but it was fun when they did things together. “I can’t believe I forgot about that. Those were some of the best moments of my childhood. Listen, Pro, I know we’re not the closest brothers, but let’s that aside. We both know that we’ll have our opinions and we won’t budge anytime soon with them, so instead of focusing on what separates us we should focus on what brings us together.”
“You know what?” Pro dried off and fixed his shirt. “I think that’s a good idea. Let’s get out of here and enjoy the party.”
The two of them left the bathroom, Pro feeling a bit self-conscious about being bald. Social managed to egg him on though, finally getting him to show his face to the ponies out there.
“I’m doing better now,” he told them.
“Aww. Glad to hear. Louise, you wanted to say something?” Linda said to her daughter, still holding onto her ear.
“Yes! Alright, alright!” She got out and approached Pro with the toupee. “Sorry for being mean and stealing your hair piece. You can have it back.”
“Actually, I think I’ll be fine without it. After all, that thing was starting to be itchy,” he told her. “You can keep it.”
“Awesome! I know just what I’ll do with it,” Louise told him.
“You’re not gonna keep it after the way you acted here tonight,” Linda told her.
“Why would I keep it? I’m gonna give it to dad as my gift. He needs it,” Louise told her mother.
“Aww! That’s nice actually. It’ll look good on him, that’s for sure.”
“I also have something I want to tell you all. It might sound odd, but stick with me.” Pro took a deep breath and told everypony, “I’m not actually engaged to anypony.” Nopony in the room reacted. “Uh, did you hear what I said?”
“Yeah, we heard. We’ve just known that you didn’t have a marefriend in the first place,” Justice explained.
“Totally. All you ever said is ‘I have a marefriend who’s a super model’ and nothing else. Pretty obvious when you say it like that,” Ret told him.
“So why didn’t you guys say something? I kept this thing up for two years!”
“Cause that’d be embarrassing for us to tell you. Better you come up with something cheap like ‘She moved away’ or something else. We just thought you wanted to be more interesting when we got together,” Justice told his brother. “It’s not like we thought you were a coltcuddler or anything. It’s not like we jump to conclusions or anything.”
“Oh really?” Pro said, looking at his youngest brother. “It looks like one of you didn’t get the message.”
“I’m sorry. Probably shouldn’t have jumped the gun on assuming what your intentions were,” Social apologized. “Next time something like that happens, I’ll check myself before I wreck myself.”
“Alright everypony. Enough awkward. More party!” While Sound yelled out, the door to her restaurant was suddenly busted open.
“What’s going on now?” Bloomheart asked.
“Bloomheart! I cannot hold it any longer!” Dr. Suave Studwell yelled as he entered the restaurant, the snow glistening on him. “I love you!”
“Oh great. Now I have this guy to deal with?” Bloomheart said, placing her face in her hoof.
“Excuse me, but who’re you?” Justice asked.
“Dr. Suave Studwell. Premier Doctor at Ponyville Hospital. Now, I need to do something, if you don’t mind.” He trotted past everypony and approached Bloomheart who was definitely not up to dealing with this. “Bloomheart, would you mind listening to-“
“Suave, I know why you’re here, and no. Please don’t do this right now,” she asked. “This is a party and I REALLY don’t need any more weird stuff going on today.”
“Please give me a chance. You’re the reason why I’ve never been able to keep a relationship. That one night ten years ago changed me forever. I knew you were the one and nopony else has been able to fill the gap. You’re tearing me apart!” Dr. Suave then ripped his jacket in half, sending several mares in the room to sweat.
“Woah,” Rapidfire, one of the colts there said. “I mean, that’s impressive how he ripped that jacket off with his own bare hooves. That’s what I’m impressed by. Not his body.” He looked side to side, seeing if anypony believed him.
“Ha! Gay!” Sound yelled out, knowing that she might never have a better chance of doing so.
“Hey! That’s offensive to homosexuals!” Social yelled at her.
“I’m actually gay, so I get a pass,” Sound explained.
“Wait, really?” he asked looking in the direction of Spitfire.
“What? You want me to answer that? What am I? Queen of the Fillyfoolers?” she replied.
“I’d nominate you,” Ret said.
“Same here,” Sound added.
“Oh! You could be titled ‘Drag Queen’ of Fillyfoolers, am I right?” Linda added.
“Haha! Good one,” Sound added before her brain finally caught up with her. “Hey, what does he mean ‘ten years ago’?”
“Well,” Bloomheart tried to figure out some way to tell her daughter, but Dr. Suave decided to do that himself.
“Ten years ago we had a party. During that time I was an insecure doctor who knew nothing about love. That is, until I saw your mother. She was the most radiant being I’d ever laid eyes on. In that party we had a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven where-“
“WHAT?!” Sound yelled, familiar with the basic rules of the game. “You cheated on dad with this…huh. Why does that make so much sense?”
“Sound, dear, it wasn’t anything like that. I was drunk and all we did was make out. Besides, it’s not like I’m the only one in the family who’s made bad decisions while drunk,” Bloomheart told her, reminding her about her incident with the band and her hair.
“Oh yeah? Well, you were browsing my computer for fillyfooler stuff earlier today. AND you forgot when my birthday was this year!” Sound retorted.
“Geez,” Cleversong mumbled, hiding her head in her forearms.
“This family just got way more interesting!” Gene added.
“Really? You’re brining those two things up? First, I already told you that the thing with your computer was an accident. Second, you’re bringing up the birthday thing now?” Bloomheart asked in disbelief.
“Mom, how exactly do you forget your own child’s birthday?” Cleversong asked.
“Hey, I told you before that at some family gathering I’d yell about it. Guess the proper time would be when I learn that you cheated on dad.” Bloomheart was starting to gather some steam under the collar.
“I-just-WHERE IS YOUR DAMN FATHER?!” she yelled out, frustrated.
“Here I *burp* we are,” he said, stumbling with Belcher by his side.
“Not again,” Linda lamented.
“I’m just hangin’ with my, my bud here. He’s…he’s not that bad actually. We both make stuff from tofu, right?” Pepperoni dropped the empty bottle he was holding and caught Belcher before he fell.
“Yeah, yeah we do. We both make food and stuff. We’re alright.” Belcher started laughing and Pepperoni joined in.
“Well, this explains why I never see you drink,” Justice said to Cleversong, whose head was flat on the table.
“I think I may have made a huge mistake,” Bates though, seeing the drunken mess occurring before his eyes.
“Look, I don’t want to create any trouble, Bloomheart. I just needed to confess my feelings for you and-“
“Hey, is that that guy you told me about before?” Pepperoni asked.
“Sir, you’re drunk and as a doctor I’m concerned that-“ Pepperoni cut off Dr. Suave with a loud belch.
“Listen here, Mr. Sexy Rockstud, or whatever. What are you, a soap opera doctor? Listen. I just…just…hey bud, you mind getting offa me? I gotta do something.”
“Sure. I’ll just sit down. You go do…stuff,” Belcher told his new bud, slinking over to a table.
“Geez, dad. Thought you could handle more of the stuff,” Louise teased. “You’re a lightweight compared to mom.”
“Eh. I’ve just had more practice,” Linda laughed.
“Listen you good looking jerk. When I heard the story my wife told me about you and her, I tried to be calm and did pretty good. Bloomy, you want me to be honest with you?” Pepperoni said, looking at somepony else before Justice turned him in the right direction.
“Um, sure.”
“I was ready to…do angry stuff. Not sure what, but GRARR! There. That’s one thing. I’m usually calm, but with the power of alcohol I can be angry!” He flexed his forearms and nearly fell over.
“Sorry to tell you this, Mr. Pepper, but I’m sure nothing in that last sentence was anything to be proud about,” Pro told him.
“Whatever. It’s go time! I love my wife and now I’m finally gonna get off my flank and do something about it.” He approached the doctor slowly, stumbling part of the way.
“Sir, I’m honestly sorry if I offended you with my confession and attempts on your wife, but as a medical professional I must say that in your current state-“ Dr. Suave was cut off as Pepperoni went and finally punched him straight in the face.
“You’re already dead!” he screamed as the doctor fell back. Pepperoni finally conked out and fell on the floor.
“Would you mind if I checked him? I really wouldn’t want somepony to die on my watch,” the doctor asked.
“Sure. Sorry that he hit you,” Bloomheart apologized.
“It was justified. I was being far too invasive with you two and he stood his ground. I’m just lucky his punch wasn’t too strong.” The doctor felt his face and confirmed that everything was fine.
“Well, at least nothing else can go wrong,” Sound said just as another pony nopony expected to see tonight burst in.
“Dr. Suave, are you alright?” Cathy asked.
“Leave your body, A.C. Leave your body,” A.C. said, knowing his night was probably about to go downhill.
“I’m alright. I’m sorry that I needed to run out, but I needed to do this. This stallion is exhausted and drunk, but I think he’ll be alright. Now, I think we should leave before any other trouble is caused,” the doctor told her.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, at least with this weather,” Linda told them. “Bloomy, you mind if they stay here. Please?”
“This guy here has been trying to get me away from my husband for years now, and this mare right here is a slut who tried to get to my husband and A.C. here and…uh oh.” Bloomheart realized she had made two mistakes. The first thing had everypony waiting for Social to chime in.
“Huh? Sorry. I was just blanking out. Did something happen?” After that, everypony turned their attention to A.C.
“A.C., what did Miss Bloom mean when she tried to get to you?” Pawpads asked, curiously. A.C. stood there, trying to figure out how to explain himself. Deciding that tonight already had enough drama he decided to rip the band-aid off and just tell her.
“I went to lunch with her about a week ago. I think we considered it a date. I now regret it, and feel like a jerk, mainly because I was one. I’m really, really sorry. I think I went out with her because I was nervous about all the bad things that have happened whenever I tried to tell you something and felt like I wanted to not be in horrific pain again.”
“Um, now I’m more confused than anything. What was it that you were trying to tell me that resulted in you receiving horrible physical pain?” Pawpads was more concerned than angry at her boyfriend. She knew his past where he wasn’t tied down to just one mare, but she helped him get over that. Something must have happened to bring it up again.
“It’s… well…” he saw everypony’s eyes focusing on him, including the hateful little girl’s.
“A.C., you can do it,” Justice said, standing behind him, Cleversong to his side.
“Thanks,” he said, smiling and gaining the strength to tell her. “I wanted to tell you I love you and ask you to marry me.” He took out the ring and presented it to her, everypony in the room gasping when he asked. All except Louise, whose plan had been foiled. “I was worried since every other time I tried I either had a hydra attack me or lose my forearms. Those things really affect a pony you know.”
“Oh, A.C. you jerk! I’ve wanted to hear you ask me that for over a year now!” Pawpads told him with tears in her eyes.
“Wait, so you’re saying-“
“Yes, you idiot!” She kissed him right there, everypony applauding at the beautiful sight (except for Louise). “I only wish you’d done it sooner and didn’t worry about making a big spectacle of it.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to tell Sound’s dad that the ring he helped me buy was given in the dullest way possible. He gave me the money he made with one of his bets and that’s what I used to purchase it.” A.C. looked at Pepperoni, still out of it, and told him, “Thank you, sir.”
“No problem!” Pepperoni yelled out, jumping up from the floor, completely fine. “Wait, what’re we talking about?”
“He finally proposed to her,” Bloomheart explained.
“Finally! Thought I’d never have grandfoals,” he blurted out. “Oh, wait, that’s the other couple. Whatever.”
“Good going, A.C.” Justice told him. “Knew you could do it.”
“Thanks, bro. Next album’s dedicated to the two of you,” he replied, making Justice giggle. “Also, sorry for leading you on, Cathy. Hopefully you meet a colt who treats you well.”
“Uh, technically we’re dating,” Dr. Suave pointed out, making the situation once again awkward.
“So let’s get this straight; you dated this doctor, dated the musician, and tried to get with the Mt. Pepper? I envy you, Cathy,” Tina told her.
“Yeah, well, Dr. Suave tried to hook up with Bloomheart again. What about him?” Cathy asked the crowd.
“Hook up?” he asked, confused. “Oh, no my dear. I wasn’t attempting to hit on her again. It was merely a confession of emotions that I needed to say to free myself from her siren’s song.” Bloomheart rolled her eyes at that statement. “I guess my way of talking may sometimes sound as if I wish to romance somepony, but that is merely accidental.”
“Well, at least the pony I took to lunch was just a boyfriend and not married. I mean, I knew the difference clearly when…crap.” Cathy just realized that she’d said too much and was staring straight into the eyes of a very angry fiancé. “What I meant is when I made him take me out is…um… I didn’t mean ‘make him’. I meant –“
“Wait a second. I remember that lunch now! You told me that you were a friend of Miss Bloom’s, then went on to invite me to lunch, and at the end you said that we were on a date! I never agreed to a date, just lunch!” A.C.’s revelation of Cathy’s manipulation finally pushed Pawpads over the edge.
“Somepony hold me back cause I’m about to hammer the slut!” she yelled as she dashed forward only to be grabbed by a blonde haired pegasus.
“Hey! Slut’s a-“ Social immediately shut his mouth when Pawpwads looked his way. “It’s an appropriate term to use in this situation,” he finished meekly.
“Phew. Thanks for saving me, Surprise,” Cathy told the Wonderbolt. The pegasus’ eye twinged when she called her that name.
“What did you call me?” she asked.
“Oh boy. I’ve got fifty on Breezie winning this one,” Pepperoni told his wife.
“Wanna make it interesting and double it?” Louise asked. “I say she wins in the first two minutes.”
“Uh, Surprise?” Cathy restated.
“My. Name. Is. Not. Surprise. I. Am. BREEZIE! STOP CALLING ME SURPRISE!” she yelled, shaking the entire building. “Pawpwads, when I let go, you go for the hind legs. I’ll handle torso. Deal?”
“Deal.” At that moment, time seemed to slow down as the pegasi duo leaped into action, ready to bring the pain. Just before the fight started however, a large puff of smoke filled the floor, chocking everypony there. Suddenly a large rumbling laugh was heard, the bearer being Discord.
“Ho ho ho! Merry…huh?” He looked around and saw the sight of two mares about to gang up on a third. “Uh…okay? Listen, I’m doing my yearly ‘Sorry I stole Hearth’s Warming Day’ thing by giving out presents and found that it was way too cold to do it outside, so I’m going home-to-home to deliver. Looks like a party’s going on here, so I’ll have to check what gifts I’m handing out more carefully.” He fished around through the bag he was holding and pulled out a pile of presents bigger than the bag itself. “Now I’ll be off. You’ll have to sort through the presents to see which one are yours. Maybe make a game out of it, giving each other the gifts the somepony else is supposed to have. Anyway, Happy Hearth’s Warming Day!” he yelled before popping out.
“Huh. Forgot he did that,” Belcher said, coming to his senses. “So, is there a fight still?”
“Well,” Pawpads looked at the fear on Cathy’s face and said, “No. The mood’s gone. Why don’t we open gifts then?”
“We’ve only got the gifts Discord gave us. The rest are at our homes,” Tina pointed out.
“You know what? I can do it. I’ll get our gifts and bring them here,” Belcher told his family. “After all, it’s just across the street.”
“I’ll help as well,” Pepperoni added. “Who knows how much we have to carry?”
“And my axe!” Bates told them, nopony except Pro understanding what he meant by that. “That means I’ll also help. Let us journey forth!” The three left the restaurant on their journey next door.
Not surprisingly, the journey was not too arduous. They came back with the Belcher family’s gifts in tow and put them in the pile and decided to share a drink (of water). Everypony started handing out gifts to each other. Cathy picked up Pawpads’ gift and vice versa, the two swapping gifts awkwardly.
“Wow! It’s a prescription for my condition! Now I won’t have the urge to keep on hooking up with different stallions now.” Cathy’s statement drew glances before she clarified, “The doctor says my ADHD causes me to go through relationships quickly, so I need to take something so I can calm myself. Normally I avoid taking it since they don’t usually have this version I need, but now I’ll be able to.”
“Huh,” Pawpads responded, opening her gift as well. “I just got a bag of jelly beans. I guess that’s something.”
“Awesome! I love jelly beans!” A.C. yelled. “Too bad the gift I got was black licorice.”
“SHUT. UP. I love that stuff.” The two looked at each other and swapped gifts, immediately pigging out on the candy.
“So, my thing’s a new spatula. At least it’s useful,” Belcher said after opening the gift Pepperonni handed him.
“Yeah. My thing’s a new pizza cutter.” The two looked at each other and knew that these were terrible gifts. “I think I’ll give you something extra. Here,” he said writing down a number with his initials on it. “Consider this a one hundred bit gift card for my place.”
“You know what?” Belcher did the same thing, handing his signed napkin to his new friend. “We should eat out more.” The two laughed and hoped that it wasn’t just the alcohol talking.
Over at Spitfire’s table, Gene was exchanging her gift. When she opened her box, she was stunned to find that inside was a genuine crown with the words ‘Drag Queen of the Fillyfoolers’ etched into it.
“I don’t know whether to be offended at how last minute this gift seems or complimented at how funny and actually impressive it is for a last minute gift.” She then put the crown on and realized that this was her life; getting crowns from a creature made up from the parts of other creatures, delivered to her by a colt who stuffs multiple pieces of pizza into his mouth. Damn, she sure had it made.
“Please be a crown, please be a crown,” Gene chanted as he opened his gift. “It’s better than a crown! It’s a tape recorder! Demos, here I come!”
Sound got her present from her mother and opened it immediately to find that it was a brand new, fully charged and updated laptop.
“Wow. Guess I got the best gift, huh. Let’s see how well this thing runs.” She opened up her browser and decides to check her email, finding herself shocked. “Geez! My other laptop must’ve been busted, ‘cause I didn’t see all these messages. And great, he was messaging me a week ago and probably thingks I’m dead now.”
Who’re you talking about?” Bloomheart asked.
“I have this online friend who I chat with. Apparently the last message he sent me was a week ago and I haven’t even responded. Hope he doesn’t think I’m dead or something.”
Bloomheart thought back to earlier that day in the tech shop and asked, “Do you know this pony in real life?”
“I don’t think so. That’d be weird, wouldn’t it?” Bloomheart decided to keep quiet about what she knew and opened her own gift.
“Black coffee beans. Didn’t expect to get that as a gift.”
The rest of the ponies opened their gifts from Discord as well. Louise received a lump of coal and was overjoyed to find a way to make it into a diamond and get rich. Tina got a blank picture of the Wonderbolts and, at the request of Spitfire, all the stallions decided to sign it. Linda got a bottle of wine while Mr. Bates got a bottle of Alka-Seltzer water for tomorrow’s eventual hangovers. Ret got a compendium of the comic ‘Judge Doom’, a comic about an overzealous lawman, which he enjoyed without getting the hint. Social received a deck of Magi: The Gathering cards, a surprise for him since he never played the game. Pro got a pre-release copy of the new version of ‘Dungeons and Dilemmas’ that hadn’t even been released yet and started grabbing his dice to create a new character. Justice got an oak gavel while Cleversong got a pamphlet on upcoming theatre productions. The rest were not important to write about, so there.
“Alright! You kids wanna see the presents your father and I got you?” Linda asked. Her family went off to the pile to grab their stuff while Bloomheart’s family took their gifts out.
“You guys mind if I go first?” Pepperoni asked.
“Sure!” Bloomheart told him, nervous of the gifts she’d gotten them. Now that she thought of it, she had no idea if they were even that good.
“Okay then!” Pepperoni first presented a gift to Sound, which happened to be a copy of a DVD.
“Uh, dad? Do you have any idea what you actually bought?” she asked, her eyes wide while staring at the cover.
“I saw this animated DVD and thought you might like it for the animation. Why?” he asked nervously.
“Well, um, I know about this show, and, yeah. That’s a foal on the front.” As soon as Sound said that, Bloomheart immediately knew what she was talking about. “Also,” she whispered something into his ear, his face twisting in all sorts of ways.
“Three?” he asked.
“Yes. Three.” Cleversong burst out laughing and the rest soon joined in, knowing that this would definitely be a gift to remember.
“Alright then. Here’s your gift, Cleversong. And no, it isn’t a DVD.” He pulled out a box and handed it over. She opened it up and found that inside was a red dress with her cutie mark stitched onto it.
“Oh my goodness! I love it! Thanks dad.” She hugged him tight and put it down. He then looked over from Cleversong’s smile to Sound’s dour pout.
“Uh oh. I think I did that thing again, didn’t I?” he asked.
“Eeyup,” Sound told him.
“I don’t have any problem with it,” Cleversong teased, her sister pushing her like she did when they were younger and she got better presents.
“And for you, my dear wife,” he told her, anticipation growing on Bloomheart’s face, “will have to wait last. We all have something to give you.”
“Really? Can’t wait to see,” she said, excited at the possibilities.
“My turn!” Sound yelled. She gave Cleversong and her father their gifts at the same time and looked at their expressions. “So, whatcha think?”
“You got me a box of spaghetti?” her father asked. “How’d you know that I wanted it?” Sound remembered the numerous pamphlets that he had left around the house with the spaghetti page left marked. That stallion loved spaghetti but never could get up and get it himself.
“I love these earrings, Sound!” Cleversong said, putting them on. “It’ll go great with dad’s dress.” Sound pushed her again, the two laughing at how bad dad was at giving good gifts to both kids instead of just one.
“Alright. My turn!” Cleversong took out a box and opened it, handing the two of them models of characters from Sound’s “Hoof of the South Star” series. “I got these from a comic convention in Manehattan and knew that you’d like them. I even got one for mom. It’s that griffon character she-“
“Nononono!” Sound screamed covering up her ears and trying to get rid of the mental image in her head. She immediately thought back to Hearts and Hooves Day where she saw her mother dressed up as on her characters and her dad also…well, you get the point.
“Uh, is something wrong?” Cleversong asked.
“Nope! She just remembered something. Somethint not awkward,” Pepperoni said, knowing exactly what was bothering his daughter.
“It’s my turn now,” Bloomheart said, nervously taking her gifts out. “For your father I got this.” She took out the fishing rod with supplies and watched his face light up.
“Awesome! Now I can join Bates on his next trip.”
“I hoped you’d like that. For Sound, well, I hope this isn’t weird or anything, but I got you this.” She took out the first issue of “Hoof of the South Star” and watched her daughter’s expression to see how she’d react.
“Oh wow. I can’t believe you managed to get this. I remember Heyfield saying that everypony at the studio hated themselves for never actually keeping the original first issue. They thought it would bomb quickly and never even bothered to get one. Bet he’ll be happy to see this one,” Sound told her mother, giving her a sense of relief.
“Oh thank goodness. Thought you might’ve hated it. Anyway, here’s the last gift I have. Here you go, Cleversong.” Cleversong looked at the pen that had her name engraved, her face still for a moment. “Is something wrong? I thought you would like it for when you finally became a pharmacologist.”
“Oh! That’s… um, great.” Cleversong was not great at lying and knew it. “Can I be honest with you? I think I might want to give med school a break for now.”
“WHAT?!” the three of them went.
“It’s just that I’m not sure I want to work in a place like a pharmacy. The one time I interned there I felt like I was gonna die, and this was for an entire semester. To be honest,” she held up the pamphlet for theatre productions, “I think I wanna try out theatre again for a little bit.” Her parents looked concerned while she told them this, but realized that this was beyond their control.
“Well, at least we weren’t the ones paying for school,” dad joked, giving both his daughters a hug. “Now, I think it’s time we show mom our gift to her, don’t you girls?”
Bloomheart sat with anticipation rising, waiting to see what she’d been given. Her family was huddled together, getting something ready for her to see. They came forward and presented her with what looked like newspaper.
“Huh. Um, I don’t know what this is?” she asked.
“Read the circled area,” Pepperoni told her. She did so and was surprised to see what she was reading.
“Wanted: Professional Nurses for Ponyville Hospital. Interns and Experienced Nurses welcome.” She looked up and asked, “You guys bought a wanted space in the paper for me?”
“Not just this paper, but in all the papers from here to Manehattan,” Cleversong explained. “Dad told us that your place was understaffed, so he went to the hospital and told them his plan. He got the okay and then placed the ads.”
“That’s so sweet! I really hope that they work.”
“Actually,” Pepperoni took a piece of paper out from behind him and showed it to his wife. “They were hired not too long ago. The Head Nurse promised me she wouldn’t tell you about it and ruin the surprise. This is your work schedule for next week.” Bloomheart looked the list over and couldn’t help but smile.
“I don’t have crappy hours for once!” she cheered, glad that Nurse Triage had hidden the news from her. “Thank you all so much!” She hugged the three of them in her arms tightly, happy that they would go to so much trouble just to help her out at her job. She’d be able to actually be with her family instead of always working now. “There’s only one thing I feel like we need to do now.”
“What’s that?” Pepperoni asked. Bloomheart walked over to Justice and his brothers and started talking to them.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t know that you fellas were coming for the holidays. I hope you like these gifts. Somehow.” She gave the brothers the book from the emporium, along with the playing cards.
“Hey! I totally remember this book!” Ret commented. “This was the thing that got me into that entire coup thing with that old board game, remember?”
“Oh yeah! Totally forgot about that!” added Justice. “You think we could finally play another game, O Great Conqueror?”
“Sure. Let’s try out this card game. It’ll be neat to learn a new game like the old days, am I right?” The brothers took the card decks and read over the rules, Pro explaining the more difficult text to them. Bloomheart walked back to her family, glad to have made their Christmas.
“Thanks, mom,” Cleversong told her while hugging.
“No problem. After all, one of them’ll be my future son-in-law,” she replied. “Well, I think it’s time to hit the sack.”
“Wait! I totally just remembered. Bates, we’re good to go!” Pepperoni yelled out.
“Oh yeah! Mt. Bates apparently brought us presents,” Sound told them.
“Actually, it was just for one of you. Specifically for Cleversong,” Bates clarified, disappointing Sound.
“That’s so sweet of you. Honestly it’s felt like such a long time since a fan gave me a gift,” Cleversong admitted, thinking back to her singing days.
“Actually, I’m not the fan that wanted to give you something.”
“Huh?” That statement confused her.
“Here. Let me show you.” Bates opened up his pouch and took out several papers that were laminated. Cleversong looked at the papers and saw that they were fan drawing of her in concert.
“Wow! These are incredible!” she said, looking through all the papers. “Did you draw this?”
“Nah. I’m not any artist. These were…excuse me.” He turned around for a moment and took a deep breath. “These were my daughter’s.”
“I didn’t know you had any family, boss,” said Sound. Hearing that started to make things difficult for him, but Pepperoni stood by his side.
“I lost her several years ago. Sickness. She was one of your biggest fans, and she always wanted to see you in concert. We were going to go, but it happened so fast. She wanted to give these to you but always felt embarrassed. When I heard you were coming, I just…” he became quiet, unable to say anymore. Cleversong was barely holding it together when Sound noticed something with the drawings.
“Hey, this looks a whole lot my-“ She suddenly stopped talking when it hit her; she was hired only several years ago as an artist for a big comic company by Mr. Bates. He actually knew the connection between Sound and Cleversong, and in the interview even had a picture of her sister in her portfolio. She noticed that she was always treated just a little differently from the other employees. Now she knew why.
“Well, that’s all I wanted to share.” He was about to walk away when suddenly Cleversong and Sound hugged him. Pepperoni stood there with Bloomheart, taking it in.
“Told her it was a special gift,” Pepperoni whispered to Bloomheart. He kissed her on the cheek and she hugged tighter.
“Thank you,” Bates told the two, eventually letting go. “Well, nice to meet you, Cleversong. Hope to see you on the stage in some way. As for you,” he pointed to Sound, “I better get those new issues ready after the holidays. You’re the pony that everpony else counts on so we can start early.”
“Already took care of it, boss,” she replied with a bit of a grin.
“Good girl,” he told her, patting her on the head.
“Actually, I think everypony’s gonna stay here tonight. It’s still bad out there, so why don’t you stay in our room?” offered Bloomheart.
“I’d actually like that. Hope these guys don’t mind sleeping down here.”
“It’s alright. Reminds me of my early days as a soldier,” Spitfire told him.
“Alright then. Goodnight everypony, and don’t steal anything while we’re asleep!” Pepperoni told them as the family went to bed. They’d all had a busy day and would finally get some rest. It was already Hearth’s Warming Day, and everypony could feel it.
To all reading this,
Happy Holidays.
