The Candy Sutra

by TheGentlemanCreeper

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Pinkie Pie, Sex
Length: 11057

Love is sweet and so is candy

(2nd Person Story story starring you and Pinkie Pie)

Synopsis: You couldn't help but fall in love with the life of the party when you moved to Ponyville. That hyperactive pink ball of energy is the kindest and most sweetest pony you've ever met. And you mean sweet in both senses of the word when you get involved in the book she's trying to write.

Author's Note: The Candy Sutra has helped me nail down the format I like and will become the staplehood for future projects. The Candy Sutra is a 2nd person story starring you and Pinkie Pie. It's both funny, sensual, and involves Pinkie Pie. Need I say more? And on one final note, this story marks the beginning of what I like to call 'the weave'. I decided to have my stories crossover into each other, bring back old characters, and actually meet 'yourself' from previous stories. As one reader put it '...it's like Quantum Leap, except with ponies.'

Side Note: A special and well deserved thanks goes out to tubular for his help critiquing and editing The Candy Sutra. Thanks to him, it's now 20% cooler. If you ever see him on the #equestria IRC, give him a pat on the back.

Published 2011-10-14 18:43:51 UTC
Last updated 2011-10-14 19:25:00 UTC

Chapter 1

You stood outside the Sugar Cube Corner, second guessing yourself. “What if she’s busy or she doesn’t want to see me…” you say to nopony in particular. Just as you convince yourself to leave, the door to Sugar Cube Corner opens, making you freeze in your tracks. A pink earth pony with an equally pink mane resembling cotton candy stands in the doorway, smiling.

“Oh it’s you! The candy maker! Hiya! What brings you around this time?”

A lump forms in your throat and you try to find your words. “Uh, h-hi Pinkie. I’m working on a n-new recipe. I was wondering if you wanted to try it out.” Pinkie Pie smiles at the question. “Why do you even ask? Your candy’s good!” Letting out a sigh of relief, you walk into the kitchen with Pinkie and set down your saddlebags, making the contents rattle around inside.“What’chya bring this time?” Pinkie asks as she jumps up and down excitedly.

“Help yourself to what’s in there and tell me what you think.” You open the saddlebag, revealing a jar of at least a hundred brightly colored orbs, each about the size of a bit. Pinkie Pie reaches in and grabs a blue one. “Don’t mind if I do! I LOVE gumballs!”

“Wait Pinkie! Those aren’t gumballs, they’re-”

You couldn’t get the words out fast enough. Pinkie bites into the piece of candy and immediately howls out in pain.

“OWOWOWOW!”

Pinkie Pie bounced around the room, holding onto her jaw, yelling.

“Pinkie, are you alright?!?” you yell, grabbing a hold of her.

“I boke ma teef! I boke ma teef!”

“Open your mouth and let me see!” Pinkie opens her mouth gingerly and you give her teeth a once. You let out a sigh of relief when you don’t see any cracks or breaks.

“Nothing’s broken, you can calm down.”

Pinkie Pie closes her mouth and runs her tongue across her teeth. “That was SO mean! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry, but I was trying to tell you that bag had the jawbreakers in it. The other one has the gumballs. See?” you reach into the other saddlebag and pop the piece of candy into your mouth and bite down, only to yelp out in pain.

“What’s wrong?” Pinkie asks.

“I…I think I mixed up the batches again.” This wasn’t the first time you’ve done this. Last time, you brought over gumballs and you and Pinkie sucked on them all day, wondering why they weren’t getting any smaller.

Pinkie Pie can’t help but giggle. “You crazy colt, you. Serves you right.”

“I said I was sorry! What can I do to make it up to you?”

Pinkie Pie taps her hoof to her chin and looks like she’s thinking deeply.

“Aha!” she exclaims. “I need some help filling out an order for a wedding cake since Mr. and Mrs. Cake are out of town. Help me out and I MIGHT forgive you.”

You know Pinkie was teasing you from her tone and that she had already forgiven you. “I’d be more than happy to help. What do you need me to do?” Pinkie smiles and guides you over to a layout of ingredients, bowls, and utensils. “I’ll work on the cake batter and you work on the frosting. We can meet in the middle and be done before dinner!” You had made cupcakes with Pinkie before on numerous occasions, but a wedding cake seemed like it was going to be a little more difficult. Before you can ask Pinkie for any advice, she’s already knee deep in her work, mixing together the cake batter. Sighing, you look over the recipe for the frosting and try your best to follow it. It isn’t until half way through that you realize you added twice as much confectionary sugar.

“Oh don’t worry about that! Just double everything else and we can just eat whatever frosting is left over.” Pinkie says when you bring it up.

Just as Pinkie said, you two meet in the middle. By the time you finish up the frosting, Pinkie is taking the first layer of the wedding cake out of the oven and putting in the next one.

“Okay! We just need to wait for it to cool and we can start frosting. Speaking of which…” Pinkie dabs a hoof into the bowl of frosting and licks it. “Mmm! Good! Have you tried this?” she asks. You shake your head and she holds her hoof out t you and motions for you to lick off the remaining frosting. You blush heavily as your lips touch her hoof and lick up the frosting. “Uh, ya. Good.” you say, trying to turn away from her so she doesn’t see your bright red cheeks. You and Pinkie don’t say a word until the last of the layers of the wedding cake are baked and frosted.

“So Pinkie…” you begin as you take a step out of Sugar Cube Corner. The cake was done and needed to be delivered to the address. Your heart races a bit as you try to find the right words. You’ve had a crush on Pinkie since you first moved to Ponyville. She was so caring and generous and funny and… “I was wondering if you were doing anything tomorrow.” you ask. Pinkie thinks for a moment before shaking her head. “Nope, don’t think so. Why? What’s up?” You take a deep breath and collect yourself. “I was wondering if you’d want to go out with me.” Pinkie stops walking and looks at you, confused.

“Go out? You mean like a date?” she asks.

You nod your head quickly, seeing as though your throat was close to swelling shut from the panic. Pinkie stares at you with her big blue eyes and smiles. You can almost make out a slight blush. “I’d love to! Did you have any idea where?” Your stomach sinks into your hoofs as you realize you hadn’t planned it out this far.

“I...Uh… Well, did you have anything in mind that you wanted to do?”

Pinkie thinks for a moment before her eyes go wide and she gasps. “Ohmygosh I have the perfect idea! Listen, I’ll take care this! Meet me out by the lake at noon tomorrow!” she yells. Your heart goes aflutter. She’s said yes.

“Okay, I will!”

Pinkie smiles and gallops off, but just as she’s almost out of sight, you ask one more question.

“Is there anything I should bring? Or wear?” you well. You hear Pinkie say one word and for a moment you think she’s either kidding or you misheard her. But no, you hear her right and it makes no sense.

“Camouflage!”

You stand there, trying to figure out where in the world you would get camouflage. Asking around, you find yourself at the Carousel Boutique, standing in front of Rarity, who was measuring your body with a levitated tape measure. Rarity was going on about different styles of camouflage clothing for different outdoor environments, but you tuned her out, thinking about Pinkie and the date. Pinkie had always been a little strange to you and was even stranger, according to her friends.

“Well? Are you going to answer my question?” Rarity asks, a little annoyed at the prospect of being ignored.

“Uhh, what was the question?” you ask with a sheepish smile on your face. Rarity sighs.

“I said ‘Why exactly do you need this?’ I mean, it’s not every day that somepony waltzes into my shop and requests for something in outdoor apparel.”

You blush at the question. “Uh well, it’s kind of for well, a date. She told me to wear it.”

Rarity gasps. “Oooooohhh! Who’s the lucky pony? Is it somepony I know?”

You nod once. “Y-yeah.”

“Oh is it Berry Punch? Or Aloe? Lyra? Bon-Bon?” Rarity rattles through a few more name, some you haven’t heard of, but you shake your head.

“Well then who is it?” Rarity asks, defeated.

You smile as you think of the pony you’re courting “Pinkie Pie.”

Rarity’s mouth hangs open. “Pinkie Pie? Are you serious? I’ve never seen her as the dating type... Well, I’m happy for the both of you. Now hold still, I just have a few more measurements to make.”

Rarity finishes up the measurements and lets you know that it will be ready for you tomorrow morning. Taking your leave, you head home and set your alarm clock for six AM. You don’t fall asleep until late into the night, too excited for the next day.

* * * * * * * * * * *

A sunbeam from your window shines onto your face, waking you up from a peaceful night’s sleep. Glancing at your alarm clock, your eyes go wide and your heart races. You had to meet Pinkie in under an hour.

“OH NO I OVERSLEPT!”

Chapter 2

Scrambling out of bed, you run for the bathroom and jump into the shower for a quick rinse. You quickly turn the water on and yelp out when you’re hit by cold water. Ignoring it, you get your whole body soaked down and skip the shampoo. Bounding out of the shower, you grab a towel and dry yourself off as you scour the pantry for something to eat. You hadn’t gotten groceries in a while and the only thing you had to eat was gummy bears and licorice rope. Reaching in, you grab a hoof full and stuff it into your mouth.

Not like the first time I’ve done this you think as you swallow your ‘breakfast’.

You’re almost out the door when you remember you still need to pick up your new clothes. Heading back into your room, you grab your wallet and run back out, galloping as fast as you can to the Carousel Boutique. You bite down harder on your wallet, making sure not to drop it as you duck and dodge your way through the streets. Bursting through the Boutique doors, you startle Rarity into dropping the levitating bolt of cloth on your head.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Are you-”

You get up quickly and look around the shop. Your camouflage ensemble was there on a hanger. Grabbing it, Rarity protests before you shove your wallet in her face. “TAKE WHAT YOU NEED!” you yell to her as you gallop off into the streets. You were halfway to the lake when the sound of the clocktower pushed you faster as it chimed off twelve noon. By the time you make it to the lake, you’re out of breath, sick to your stomach, and broke. Not a good way to start a date. Looking around the lake, you realize you’re not alone. At least thirty other ponies were gathered around, each one wearing camouflage, helmets, and sporting an odd device on their back that had a tube connected to a glass dome containing a bunch of small, colorful balls.

“Oh hey! There you are!”

The sound of Pinkie’s voice gets your attention and you turn to see her wearing the same getup as everyone else. Taking a deep breath, you collect yourself.

“Pinkie, what is all this?” you ask.

Pinkie doesn’t answer you initially and instead pulls out a small container of black paint and draws a line under each eye. “I’m not Pinkie Pie anymore…” Her voice is deeper and more dramatic. “I’m SOLID PIE!” she yells “And this is not just a paintball tournament…This is WAR! Come Coltacon! We have to register!”

Pinkie, or Solid Pie, trots off towards a table with a white banner on it that read ‘Registry’. Figuring you’re ‘Coltacon’, you follow Pinkie and join the line of people waiting. You take this time to slip on the outfit Rarity made for you and try to get some answers. “Pinkie, can you-”

“Solid Pie.” she corrects.

You sigh, deciding to give up on fighting it. “Solid Pie… Can you tell me what’s going on? I’m kind of lost.” You finish donning the camouflage outfit, surprised not only by how well it fit, but also how it looked good while still doing the job.

“You’re going to help me win this tournament, Coltacon! Every year, Carrot Top and her team beat me, no matter how hard I try.” she says, a little down. “I know it’s just a game and I should be happy for her, but she keeps rubbing it in and it makes me SO mad!” You and Pinkie make it to the front of the line and are greeted by an earth pony with a blue coat and green mane. His cutie mark looks like three splattered paintballs.

“Hey it’s the Pinkanator!” he says as he extends a hoof, which Pinkie taps back with a smile.

“Hey Splats!”

Splats looks you over and a grin forms on his face. “New blood eh? You sure about this, Pinks?” Pinkie nods her head quickly.

Splats shrugs. “Okay then, you know the drill. Five bit entry fee for each team mate.” You reach to your back pocket, but begin to panic when you remember that you left your money with Rarity. You turn to Pinkie and smile sheepishly. “Uh hey, can you-”

Pinkie Pie lays out fifteen bits on the table, which Splats scoops up into a bag. “Thank ya very much. You have fun now.”

“What did you need?” Pinkie asks. You shake your head. “Nothing.”

You let out a sigh of relief and you make a mental note to pay Pinkie back once you get your money. You and Pinkie walk to another part of the crowd and find where the paintball launchers were. As you were being fitted for yours, you realize something.

“Pi- I mean, Solid Pie. Who’s our third teammate?” you ask. Pinkie Pie smiles at you and points over to a table where a small alligator with purple eyes was being fitted with a tiny harness of his own. “Coltacon, meet Liquid Gummy!” she says with pride. You blink a few times, wondering if if this was all a joke. “Uh, Gummy? You mean your pet alligator Gummy? He’s our third teammate?” you ask. Pinkie Pie nods. “Uh-huh!” You don’t press it any further. You only hoped Pinkie knew what she was doing. The harness was finally fitted and a button connected to the whole thing was put on your dominant hoof.

“Okie dokie! Since it’s your first time, we should take you down to the practice range.” Pinkie says before grabbing you and dragging off to another part of the tournament grounds. You yip aloud when you feel something clamp down on your tail. Taking a look, you see Gummy holding onto you as you and Pinkie zip through the crowds.

This is going to be a long day… you think with a heavy sigh.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Great shot!” Pinkie yells. It only took a half dozen paintballs to get the hang of it. The trick was to face your target and move your back to adjust for height. You weren’t getting bulls eyes, but you were definitely good for a beginner. Taking aim, you press down on the button quickly and let loose three paintballs. One soars a little high, but the next two hit and land at least an inch away from the center.

“You’re a natural! We’ve got this in the bag!” Pinkie pie yells happily. Her smile disappears when three ponies approach you. A yellow earth pony with an orange mane was flanked by two other ponies, a lavender Pegasus with a yellow mane and a blue unicorn with a white mane.

“Carrot Top. Cloud Kicker. Pokey.” Pinkie says as she nods to each one and settling her gaze on Carrot Top. “Hi Pinkie. I can’t WAIT for the tournament, can you?” Carrot top asks, her tone annoying you for some reason.

Pinkie nods her head once. “No I can’t.” Pinkie is wearing a big smile, but you can almost make out a twitch in her left eye. Carrot Top looks to you for a moment, puzzled. “This newbie is your teammate?” she asks.

“Why, got a problem with that?” Pinkie asks indignantly.

Carrot Top shrugs. “I don’t know, I just sort of thought you wanted to WIN.”

Pokey and Cloud Kicker snicker at the words and Pinkie Pie’s anger. It’s on now. Turning to the target, you twitch your hoof just right to hit the button repeatedly, sending out a flurry of paintballs, nailing the target and even scoring a few bulls eyes. Turning back to the three, their mouths hung agape at the sight. Pinkie, meanwhile, had an ear to ear grin.

“Not much of a newbie now, is he?” Pinkie asks.

Carrot Top loses her cool demeanor and frowns. “It-It doesn’t change anything.” she says, obviously shaken. “He still doesn’t know the course.”

“I’m a fast learner. And we’re going to win.” you chime in with a smile “Isn’t that right Solid Pie?”

Pinkie’s smile couldn’t get any bigger. “That’s right Coltacon.”

The three look at you, completely confused. “None of this is going to help, you know.” Carrot Top says before taking off.

“If you say so~” Pinkie says with a giggle. Carrot Top takes off, more than shaken now. You’ve gotten into her head and she knows it.

You practice with Pinkie for a few more minutes before your number is called and it’s time for your fight. You, Pinkie, and Gummy wait outside the gate.

“Are you scared?” Pinkie Pie asks abruptly. You swallow the lump in your throat and nod.

“Yeah.”

Pinkie Pie smiles. “I am too.”

The gates open. You can see the other team on the far side of the field. You charge into the field headlong, ready to fight.

* * * * * * * * * *

You and Pinkie exit the field, laughing the entire time.

“THAT WAS AWESOME! DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON THAT ONE MARE’S FACE WHEN YOU SCREAMED?” Pinkie yelled before doubling over in laughter.

“OR WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE COLT YOU POUNCED ON FROM OVER THE BARRICADES?” you wheeze out, your sides hurting from the laughter. You and Pinkie laugh for another five minutes before collecting yourself.

“We are SO going to win this tournament.” Pinkie says as she falls down into the grass. You fall down beside her and sigh. This had been more fun than you could have ever imagined. You jump slightly as you feel something grab you and blush when you realize it’s Pinkie.

“You make me so happy! With you around, I feel like I can do anything!”

Your heart races and you try to find the right words to say, but find nothing. Instead, you grab Pinkie and hug her back. Pinkie’s entire face goes red, but she holds onto you and smiles. You got the message across.

Chapter 3

You moved as quickly and as quietly as you could through the forest. You, Pinkie, and Gummy had won three more matches and had made it to the semi-finals. You thought you were finally getting a hang of the game, but feel lost in the whole new two-hundred square feet of forest roped off just for this match. The leaves rustle above you, making you jump back and take aim. A squirrel scampers down from the tree and runs away. You were on edge and you had a right to be. The other team was made of pegasi, so an attack could come from anywhere. It didn’t help that you and Pinkie split up, in hopes to confuse the other team.

“THERE YOU ARE!”

Every muscle in your body tightens at the words and you begin moving as fast as you can, dodging through the trees, hoping that they would act as impromptu cover. It works as you realize the pops from behind you were the sound of paintballs against the leaves.

“Give up already!” the Pegasus calls from behind you. “Ain’t no way you can outrun me!”

You pay no heed to the taunts and keep running, dodging the paintballs that are now whizzing by your head. You run for a few more minutes, but stop dead in your tracks when the Pegasus with the rainbow mane cuts you off.

“Sorry buddy, but you’re done.” Rainbow Dash says as she touches down. Before the match, Pinkie had warned you about her. She was fast and experienced. Dash grins slightly before pressing down on the button.

*Click*

“Huh?” Dash presses down on the button repeatedly, but nothing happens. She doesn’t notice that her tank was completely empty. You can’t help but chuckle at this stroke of luck, which makes Dash stop and look up at you with fear in her eyes as she realizes the position she’s in.

“Oh… Hey….Come on now! This isn’t fair!” she yells.

You press down on the button as she begins to take off and manage to catch her left wing and flank. She groans aloud and comes back down to land.

“DARN IT!”

A bell rings from behind you and announcer yells out “TEAM PIE IS THE WINNER!”

* * * * * * * * * *

You meet up with Pinkie after the match, who was covered in splotches of paint.

“Sorry. Dashie got the drop on me after I took out Firefly.”

You pat her on the back. “It’s okay. You did awesome.” Looking down, you see Gummy covered in paint as well.

“He managed to tag Ditzy before Dashie found him up the tree.” Pinkie giggles as Gummy tries to squirm away as she wipes the paint off. “Come on, let’s go find her and see how she’s doing. She doesn’t take losing that well.”

You and Pinkie make your way to the drop off point and find a unicorn wearing a white lab coat tending to Dash.

“You‘re sure nothing’s hurt?” he asks. Dash nods. “I told you I’m fine! Geez, you really need to chillax.” The unicorn sighs heavily. “Your wing got hit. The wing you broke. Or have you forgotten about that already?”

Dash’s ears go back. “No, I haven’t.” she says curtly. “You care WAY too much.”

The unicorn nuzzles up to her. “Oh don’t be mad. I care because I love you.” Dash’s face goes red as you two approach and she tries to put on a smile.

“Oh! Hey Pinkie Pie and…” her smile disappears as you walk up. “You…” Dash looks like she’s going to yell at any minute, but instead she shakes her head.

“I shouldn’t be mad. You won, fair and square.”

The unicorn pats Dash on the back. “That’s my angel.” Dash blushes and kisses the unicorn on the cheek. “Meet you back at the house?” she asks. The unicorn gives her a nod and walks away.

“You sure you’re okay?” you ask.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Dash says as she kicks at the ground. “It’s Carrot Top who I should be mad at. She stole Cloud Kicker from my team! We’ve been on the same team for three years and this year she gives me this lame excuse about how Carrot Top asked her first!” Dash throws her hoofs up in disgust. “I mean, Ditzy is awesome since she can keep an eye on two players at once, but she’s got lousy depth perception.”

Dash sighs. “Listen, you guys, you have to promise me that you’ll win this tournament. I couldn’t stand to see Carrot Top win again this year.”

“It’s a Pinkie promise. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Pinkie says as she performs the sacred vow. You mimic her, but almost stick your hoof in your eye at the end of it.

"Alright," Dash says, reassured. "Goodbye, and good luck!" Dash leaves you with a final wave and flies out of sight. You and Pinkie head to the picnic area and eat a lunch consisting of fried dough, snowcones, and pizza. Not the healthiest of things to eat, but at least the pizza had vegetables on it. Pinkie is silent the entire time, hardly even making eye contact

“Have you ever loved someone?” Pinkie asks abruptly. You almost choke on your snowcone and spend a minute coughing it up.

“Umm, well… .” you say sheepishly. You feel Pinkie’s hoof on yours and follow it until you reach her face. She looked very serious.

“Who?” she asks. You swallow the lump in your throat and you try to calm down your racing heart.

“Well I… I mean, I love…” Pinkie is staring you down, making you feel uncomfortable. You take a deep breath, finally finding the words and the courage to say them. “Well, you. I love you, Pinkie Pie.”

You cringe and shut your eyes. You said it. The words were floating through the air now. She could break your heart in less than a second, and what happened next was up to her.

In one swift motion, Pinkie guides your face to hers and you feel your lips meet. The kiss is quick and sweet, but it leaves you speechless and your head spinning.

“That’s all I needed; now I know we can’t lose,” Pinkie says with a grin before kissing you once more, this time longer and with more passion.

Pinkie lets the kiss go on for a few more minutes before pulling away.“I’ve kind of known for a while now.”

“Was it that obvious?” you ask bashfully.

“Yeah,” Pinkie nods “and I love you, too.” You never imagined those simple little words could mean so much. “You’re so special, and nice, and generous, and a whole bunch of other nice words!”

You open your mouth to return the compliment, but the loudspeaker cuts you off.

“Team Pie, please report for the final match! I repeat, Team Pie, please report for the final match!”

You and Pinkie stare at the loudspeaker for a few seconds before turning to each other.

“Let’s go win this.” Pinkie says with a grin. You smile back. “yeah. Let’s.”

* * * * * * * * * *

You and Pinkie hid behind a fallen tree, waiting for the volley of paintballs to stop. Gummy had run off as soon as the match started, leaving you and Pinkie alone. Cloud Kicker was the first to charge and the first to fall from a barrage of Pinkie laid down.

“I’ve had a lot of practice against Dashie.” Pinkie stated when you brought up how amazing that shot had been.

But now Pokey was laying down suppressing fire, keeping you pinned down while Carrot Top tried to circle around. Luckily, you could poke yourself out enough to fire off deterring shots, while still behind cover.

“We’re getting nowhere fast!” you yell out.

Pinkie Pie pokes her head out, only to duck down again. “I got an idea!”

“What-”

Before you can get another word out, Pinkie bolts to the right, diving into a bush and drawing the fire of both Pokey and Carrot Top. Taking this opportunity, you fire off three shots and hit Pokey right in the chest. Carrot Top, however, manages to run off before you can even take aim. Running over to the bush, you grab a hold of Pinkie and help her to her hooves.

“You okay?”

Pinkie nods quickly. “Yeah. Now come on!”

You and Pinkie run off in Carrot Top’s general direction and come to a clearing. You and Pinkie look around, back to back.

“Coltacon…I want to ask. Do you think love can bloom even on the battlefield?” Pinkie asks in a purposely dramatic tone. You laugh at the absurdity of all this.

“Yes Solid Pie. Any time, any place, love can blossom. But if you love someone, you have to be able to protect them.” You couldn’t believe you just quoted that.

“Then I love you. I love you with all my heart.” Pinkie’s words resonate with your very being. It’s like she set a fire in your very soul.

“You don’t know how much that means to me. I-” You stop as you feel something solid hit your chest. Looking down, you see a large, green splotch. You were just shot.

“Where-” Pinkie flinches as she’s hit too. From the trees, you hear a laugh. Carrot Top comes walking out of the thick, smiling the entire time.

“Thanks for deciding to get all lovey dovey right then and there.” she gloats. You slump to the ground. You promised her you’d win and you let her down. All you wanted to do now is curl up in a ball and disappear. Taking a glance at Pinkie Pie, you immediately regret it. She looks completely devastated. Her once bouncy mane was flat and she was barely holding back tears.

“Now all I have to do is find your silly little crocodile.”

Pinkie’s eyes go wide and her mane fluffs up again and you swear you can hear the sound of a noise maker. Pinkie smiles. “You’re the one who's silly. He’s not a crocodile. He’s an alligator. NOW GUMMY!”

Carrot Top doesn’t have any time to react. Gummy bit down on his button, sending out one paintball, hitting Carrot Top right in the side. Everyone is silent.

“…I lost.” Carrot Top finally says.

Pinkie runs forward and picks up Gummy. “Way to go, Gummy! You made mommy proud!” Part of you feels jealous as Pinkie holds Gummy close to her chest.

“You get over here too!”

Pinkie grabs you and holds tight. You’re not feeling so jealous anymore.

* * * * * * * * * *

You and Pinkie walk back to Ponyville, trophy in tow. Pinkie wanted to hold a victory party at Sugar Cube Corner and everyone at the tournament was invited, even Carrot Top.

“Uh, hey,” Carrot Top said as she trotted up next to you and Pinkie.

“Yup?” Pinkie Pie asks, still smiling from the award ceremony.

“I wanted to apologize. I got way into the game and forgot I’m supposed to be having fun. I feel bad for all the times I rubbed it in your face, now that I know how it feels... I hope you’re not mad.” Carrot Top says, her voice getting quieter as she realizes how she’s acted up until now.

Pinkie surprises Carrot Top with a hug. “Oh, I was never mad. I just wanted to show you there was more to the game than winning. Now come on! Let’s party!”

Pinkie Pie runs off, leaving you and Carrot Top in the dust. “You’re lucky, you know.” Carrot Top says.

You smile ear to ear. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

Chapter 4

“Okey dokie! Now just pop those into the oven and I’ll start on the frosting!”

Gripping the tray with your mouth, you slide the tray of cupcakes into the oven quickly, making sure not to burn yourself this time. You shut the oven door and turn to Pinkie, who was stirring a mixture of confectionery sugar, butter, milk, and cherry syrup. Pinkie had been using red food coloring to turn her frosting pink, but she changed her ways when you brought in a can of cherry syrup you use for gumdrops. Pinkie dips a hoof into the frosting and licks it off. “Mmmm! This was the best idea ever! It’s got like two kinds of sweet now! Here!” Pinkie exclaims as she holds out her hoof.

You know that Pinkie is earnestly offering you a taste, but you also knew there was an ulterior motive to the gesture. You bring your muzzle down to her hoof and slowly drag your tongue across it, ending it at the wrist with a quick nip. Looking up at Pinkie, you can’t help but smile at the blush that was spreading across her face.

“Hey, you’ve got something on you.” Pinkie Pie leans forward and laps off a dollop of frosting you picked up while lost in the moment.That little display of affection was more than enough to send you over the edge.

You and Pinkie embrace, kissing each other roughly as your tongues mix together in a cascade of saliva and sugar.

You feel Pinkie Pie pull away from you and while you feel disappointed it had to end, you were relieved you could catch your breath.

“Oh, wow… That was just…” Pinkie gasps out. You simply nod your head in agreement, trying to find your second wind.

“...Why did that feel so…good?” Pinkie Pie asks dreamily.

“I have no idea. Maybe it’s because you’re so sweet?” you say, laying it on thick as you nibble at her ear.

Pinkie giggles aloud. “Well, it’s either that or it was the frosting...” She stops, staring at nothing in particular for a moment.

Suddenly, she gasps aloud, causing you to stop. Her eyes widen to circles the size of dinner plates and a small smile creeps across her face. “That’s it…” she says, her voice above a whisper.

She suddenly bolts towards the door. “Wait!” you cry, and she turns to you momentarily.

“I’ll be back soon, sweetie, I promise! I just gotta go find Twilight!”

Before you can reply, Pinkie’s out the door, bouncing away towards the library.

“I wonder what that was all about…?” you ask aloud. You don’t have much time to ponder it as the shrieking of a fire alarm snaps you back to reality.

“OH NO!” you yell. In your daze, you and completely forgotten about the cupcakes. Luckily, the oven had reminded you by belching out thick, black smoke. Throwing the oven door open, you reach in and grab the tray, only to immediately regret it. You screamed out in pain as you realize you had forgotten to grab a pot holder.

“WHAT’S GOING ON IN HERE?” Mrs. Cake yells as she bursts into the kitchen, panicking.

You fell back onto the kitchen floor, surrounded by black smoke, nursing your burnt tongue. You were quite the sorry sight to behold.

* * * * * * * * * * *

You made your way to Sugar Cube Corner, yesterday’s fiasco behind you. You couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable from all the stares you knew you were receiving. Your tongue hung limp from your mouth, covered in a white bandage. The doctor at Ponyville Urgent Care had told you were lucky it wasn’t a second degree burn and gave you an ointment that was supposed to “heal it in no time!”

Truth be told, he was right. By the next morning your tongue no longer hurt and while everything tasted a little funny, you couldn’t complain.

You could, however, feel somewhat peeved at Pinkie Pie for abandoning you like that. You hoped you could milk your injury just enough so she felt a little bad for what happened.

“Who knows, maybe she’ll throw me an apology party,” you think with a chuckle.

Walking into Sugar Cube Corner, you do your best to hold back a snicker as Mrs. Cake gasps gaudily.

“Oh, you poor dear, are you okay?” Mrs. Cake asks, apprehensively waiting for a response.

“Uh, honey,” Mr. Cake chuckles lightly as he appears behind her, “I don’t really think you’re gonna get an answer.” He nods at your tongue.

“Oh! Sorry! Dumb question,” Mrs. Cake says with a blush and chuckles nervously. “Is there anything specific you’re looking for?”

You want to let Mr. and Mrs. Cake in on the ruse, but decide against it. Instead of trying to talk, you hum a familiar tune and begin hopping around the kitchen.

“Oh, you’re looking for Pinkie?” Mrs. Cake asks. You stop and nod once.

“It’s the weirdest thing,” Mr. Cake begins, “She came in not too long after you left, with a typewriter in tow. She’s been up in her room ever since.”

“She hasn’t even come down for breakfast.” Mrs. Cake adds. All of this sounded sort of strange, even for Pinkie Pie.

Instead of trying to pantomime a thank you, you bow your head quickly and begin to climb the stairs to Pinkie Pie’s door. Pinkie was talking aloud to nopony in particular and you can hear a faint clicking sound.

“And then you…You….ARGH!” Pinkie throws her hooves up into the air. “Gummy, stop typing.”

Gummy hops down from the desk in the back, looking irritated, as Pinkie reaches for the paper in the typewriter carriage.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I know I said this one would be the one, but this so much harder than I thought!” Pinkie apologizes as she throws the now-crumpled paper into the trash bin.

You silently step in the room. “What is?” you ask, after carefully removing the last of the bandage from your tongue. Pinkie turns, and stares at you for the longest time, without saying a single word. Finally, a smile cracks across her face. “That’s it! I should get you to to help me write The Candy Sutra!” she exclaims.

You blink a few times, confused. “The... Candy Sutra?” you finally ask after a few seconds of silence.

“Well, you see, last night, I realized why that kiss felt so good! It was the sugar!” Pinkie yells excitedly. “So, I stopped by Twilight’s place and asked her if she had something I could write with and she gave me this typewriter and I’ve been saying what I’ve wanted on paper and Gummy types it out with his tail!”

You shake your head, still confused. “But what’s this ‘Candy Sutra’ about?”

And how does an alligator even know how to type? you add, under your breath.

Pinkie slaps her head. “Doi! I’m so excited I skipped that part! It’s all about using candy and confectioneries to add a little extra spice to a relationship. So you’ll help me, right?”

Thinking back to a few of Pinkie Pie’s other fiascoes you were involved with, you have to ask: “It won’t end up like that one time with the oatmeal, will it?”

The pink pony shivers visibly. “No. Never again. I promise!”

“Well, I don’t know... I mean--”

“PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?” Pinkie Pie begs. She knew that you couldn’t resist that tone, and you soon became putty in her hooves.

“Alright, alright, you win. What do I need to do?”

Pinkie Pie squeals with delight. “Just wait right here!” She runs out of the room and down the stairs, only to return a few seconds later carrying two bowls on her back, one holding strawberries and the other holding melted chocolate. Pinkie stops short of the bed and launches the two bowls into the air; they, predictably, land gracefully on the table, with not even a drop spilled.

One day, she’s going to tell me how she does that… you think to yourself.

Pinkie reaches into the bowl of strawberries, pulls one out with her mouth, and dips it into the bowl of chocolate. Instead of eating it however, she holds it in front of your face.

“What do you…Oh, I see.”

Your lips meet as you pluck the chocolate covered strawberry out of her mouth. Chewing it, you can’t help but feel like the kiss made it all the sweeter.

“My turn.” you say as you reach for the strawberries. You dip it a little deeper than Pinkie Pie did, coating your lips in the process.

Pinkie Pie sees this and almost inhales the strawberry to get to your lips. However, instead of eating it, Pinkie takes it into her mouth and pushes it into yours.

You slump to the ground in a daze.

“Oh wow, it was THAT good? Gummy, get this down: ‘Chocolate makes kisses sweeter, both figuratively and--’ … what are you doing?” Pinkie asked as you guided her to the bed and onto her back. Grabbing the bowl of chocolate, you drizzle it all over Pinkie Pie’s stomach.

“Oh, I see n--AHH!” you make Pinkie gasps aloud as you place your tongue on her navel. Tracing your tongue up to her chest, she doesn’t know whether to laugh or moan.

Finishing up the last of the chocolate, you look up to Pinkie. Her face is flushed and she’s breathing heavily.

“That was… That was…”

Pinkie finally catches her breath and looks over to the empty bowl of chocolate. “Awww... I wanted a turn.” she says as she pushes the bowl around the bed.

“Does it have to be chocolate?” you ask. Pinkie’s flash with sudden inspiration and she smiles. “Wait right here!”

Once again, Pinkie is running down the stairs and returning a few seconds later. This time, she’s carrying a can of frosting.

“Hasn’t Mr. and Mrs. Cake asked you yet about all of the stuff your bringing up here?” you ask.

Pinkie shakes her head as she pops the top off of the frosting. “Nope. Guess they think I’m making a snack or something.” You find the horseshoe on the other hoof as Pinkie guides you to the bed this time, but on your belly instead of your back.

You try to stifle a giggle as you feel Pinkie spread the frosting across your back, occasionally hitting a ticklish spot and sending you into a laughing fit.

“There! All done! All that’s left now is to dig in.”

Your thoughts were conflicted as you tried to figure out whether to laugh or moan. Pinkie’s tongue traced it’s way across your back, hitting those ticklish and sensitive spots at the same time. Ever so often, she’d nip at your shoulder, sending a bolt of pleasure through your whole body. You feel Pinkie stop and roll you over to your back. She looked just as excited as you felt. Apparently, the pleasure when both ways. Pinkie grabs your face and begins to kiss you roughly, her mouth tasting of the frosting she just licked off of you.

“Is that the kind of stuff you want for your book?” you ask, breaking the kiss for a moment.

“…Book?” Pinkie mimics, her voice trailing off, as she continues to ravish you. She perks up as she hears a faint clicking sound and looks to Gummy, who was still hammering away at the typewriter.

“Gummy stop!” Pinkie yells as she rushes over. Taking the paper out of the typewriter, Pinkie’s entire face goes red as she reads it. “Gummy…Where did you learn to write like this?”

Joining Pinkie’s side, you take a glance at a random paragraph:

“…The greedy stallion lapped hungrily at the sweet chocolate that covered her stomach as moans of ecstasy filled the ai-”

You look up to Gummy, who sat there on the desk, blinking every so often.

“Wow… I… I don’t know what to say. It’s amazing that Gummy has a knack for writing, but it’s a little creepy that he was writing about us.” you say as you step away.

“Gummy, you are not to write about this sort of thing again!” Pinkie says in a firm tone. She takes another glance at the paper. “At least, not until you’re older,” she reasons.

The day was winding down and Pinkie’s room had become a mess. The sheets were caked in chocolate and frosting, while the floor was covered in crumpled-up papers. You stayed until the sun started to set to help Pinkie clean up. She was grateful you were there to help explain away the sheets as a spill to Mrs. Cake.

Pinkie picks up the last piece of paper and throws it into the garbage bag you held open. “Okie dokie! All clean!” You tie up the bag and set it in the corner of the room.

“This was definitely fun!” Pinkie exclaims as she feeds a new piece of paper into the typewriter carriage. “Wanna do it again? Tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Pinkie was right. It was fun. A smile creeps across your face as you get an idea. “I’ll make sure to bring something next time.”

Chapter 5

As you walked through the streets of Ponyville, you couldn’t help but smile. You were happy; and why wouldn’t you be? The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and you were up until the wee hours of the morning last night making candy. You admit that last part wasn’t exactly the highlight of your week; you were tired, and your bloodshot eyes didn’t try to hide that fact. But it was a labor of love. Your saddlebag was stuffed to the brim with all of the candy you made, just for Pinkie Pie. And if yesterday was going to be anything like today, then you were going to get a taste of it as well.

Letting yourself into Sugarcube Corner, you look around and find Mr. and Mrs. Cake strangely absent. “Probably still sleeping…” you think aloud as you glance at the clock. With this thought in mind, you climb the stairs as quietly as you can and open the door to Pinkie Pie’s room. Looking around, you see the floor littered with more crumpled-up papers. On the desk sat a stack of papers, at least a half-inch tall.

Guess I wasn’t the only one burning the midnight oil, you think as you set your saddlebag down.

You stop dead in your tracks as you see Pinkie’s bed and realize that she’s still asleep. Part of you wants to play some sort of prank on her as payback for the many times she’s gotten you, but that blissful look on her face spoils everything. Waking her up now would be crime. Letting out a long, silent yawn, you remember your own sleepless night and feel Pinkie’s bed drawing you in. Being careful not to wake her up, you climb in next to Pinkie. Just as you drift off to sleep, you feel her wrap her forelegs around you and draw you into a tight cuddle, sending you straight to dreamland.

* * * * * * * * *

Tossing and turning in your bed, you can’t help but feel something is off. While it feels soft and cushiony, you find it hard to find any comfortable position. Rolling over onto your stomach, your lips come into contact with something.

Mmm... Sweet… you think as you smack your lips together. Opening your eyes, you find yourself staring not at your bed, but a large, pink blanket. Taking a whiff, you’re overpowered by a sweet smell. You gingerly stick your tongue out and find the blanket melt in your mouth in a lump of sugar.

“Cotton candy?” you ask aloud.

A giggle from nowhere gets your attention. “Sure is! Everything’s sweet here!”

You scramble to your hooves and try to find the source of the familiar voice.

“Up here, silly!”

Craning your neck upwards you find yourself staring at Pinkie Pie, who floated on a pink cloud of cotton candy.

“Just don’t eat too much of it. You’ll fall through!” she says with another giggle.

“Fall?” you ask. Looking down at your hooves, you realize what she meant. Pinkie Pie wasn’t the only one on a cloud. The ground looked so tiny from this high up and you could barely make out the world below. Inching back from the small hole you tore in the cloud, you look up at Pinkie who was eating her own candy cloud.

“I thought you said not to eat too much!”

Pinkie shrugs. “I changed my mind. We’re passing over Sarsaparilla Springs and I thought I’d go for a swim.” Pinkie takes another bite out of the cloud, making the entire thing shake.

Either Pinkie didn’t know how high up you were or didn’t care. “But you’ll fall!” you yell, hoping to talk some sense into her. But like that would ever work.

“So?” she asks before taking the final bite out of the candy cloud, causing it to fall to pieces. Pinkie hovers in the air for a few seconds and gives you a wave before plummeting.

“PINKIE!” you scream. You look around frantically for help until you realize you’re the only one up here.

Looking over the side of the cloud again, you swallow the lump in your throat. “Oh dear Celestia, I’m going to regret this…” Taking a deep breath, you run forward and jump off the candy cloud after her.

You scream as you plummet through the air, flailing around for anything to grab a hold of. Besides you, you hear another scream and see Pinkie falling next to you.

“What are we screaming about?!?” Pinkie yells.

You couldn’t believe she was asking such a question. “WE’RE FALLING!”

Pinkie stops screaming and simply shrugs. “So?”

“WE’RE GONNA D-”

What you thought were your final words was interrupted as you hit something solid, but bouncy at the same time. Opening your eyes slowly, you look around to see the world drifting by slowly. Looking down, you try to comprehend what you were floating on. It looked like a giant, translucent brown bubble and smelled of…

“Sarsaparilla?” you ask. Pinkie floats by lazily on a bubble that’s about the same size as yours.

“You were saying?” she asks teasingly.

The bubble touches down onto an equally brown lake that smells of sarsaparilla and you assume that this is ‘Sarsaparilla Springs’. Without any warning, the bubble pops and sends you face first into the spring. Forcing your way to the surface, you take a deep breath. Your nose stings from the carbonation and you rub at it vigorously, trying to stifle back a sneeze. You stop as you finally get chance to see your surroundings. Looking around, you realize you’re not in Equestria anymore. Licorice trees grew wild, bushes flowered with lollipops, and you were swimming in a lake of soda.

Pinkie surfaces right next to you and lets out a long belch. “S‘cuse me.” she says with a blush.

“Pinkie…. Where are we?” you ask as you watch a flock of marshmallow birds fly overhead.

Pinkie starts to backstroke around you. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“No, not really.” You slowly start to make your way to shore with Pinkie right on your heels. “Can you at least give me a hint?”

Pinkie goes from a backstroke to a butterfly. “Well... Anything can happen here.”

You wrack your brain, trying to figure out where in the world you were but come up with nothing. “I give up.” you finally admit as you reach the shore.

“Really?” Pinkie asks as she shakes herself dry. “I thought you were smart. You sure you don’t know?”

“No, Pinkie, I really don’t know. Where are we?”

Pinkie looks at you, disappointed for a moment, but then brightens up. “I’ll tell you if you catch me!” Pinkie yells before bolting off, leaving you in the dust.

Coughing up a substance that you’re sure is cinnamon, you rush after Pinkie Pie, hoping to get some answers.

“You sure you don’t want stop for a snack?” Pinkie asks as you chase her through the forest. Pinkie bucks at one of the trees and makes the fruit fall down on you. It’s then that you realize it’s not fruit, but a bunch of pies that fell on you. You try to shake the pastries off, but only manage to make yourself dirtier in the process.

You hear Pinkie Pie laughing ahead of you. "Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!"

You leap forward and try to grab Pinkie, but she slips through your grasp.

“Woop woop woop woop woop!” she cries as she runs away.

You chase Pinkie for five minutes before she stops and faces you. “Watch out!” she screams as she point to the sky. You look up just in time as a large, golden disk falls down and smothers you. It proves soft enough to actually rip your way through it. “Is...Is this a giant pancake?” you ask as you pull yourself out.

Pinkie takes a bite out of the pancake. “What else would it be?” she asks playfully, spraying crumbs everywhere. Seeing an opportunity, you try to pounce Pinkie Pie, but miss yet again as she runs off at the last second.

You finally manage to catch her at Jello Plains, jumping on a trampoline-sized patch of gelatin. Pinkie bounces through the air, giggling each time she’s thrown higher and higher, and doesn’t seem to notice you. With a running start, you jump onto a patch of red jello and propel yourself through the air towards Pinkie.

“Gotch’ya!” you exclaim as you tackle her into another gelatinous platform.

“Yay! You caught me!” Pinkie yells as both of you are thrown into the air again.

“So, where are we?” you ask. Instead of answering, Pinkie kisses you deeply. You’re so lost in the kiss that you don’t even notice when you bounce upwards again. Pinkie pulls back from the kiss and smiles at you as you soar through the air. She leans forward and whispers in your ear.

“You’re dreaming.”

* * * * * * * * *

Your eyes snap open and you sit up quickly. Looking around the room, you can’t help but confused.

This isn’t Jello Fie-… Wait… that was a dream, you think as you get out of bed. You don’t even realize Pinkie got out of bed until she comes bouncing in, carrying a tray on your back.

“Good morning~!” Pinkie exclaims as she sets the tray down on the bed. “I had the bestest dream ever! Everything was made of candy and you chased me around and then we were bouncing on jello and then I woke up and you were in my bed so I got up and made breakfast!”

You look at Pinkie, shocked at what she was telling you. “Pinkie, I had the same-” Before you can say anymore, Pinkie stuffs a pancake into your mouth.

“I looked at all the stuff in your pack, I hope you don’t mind! I saw all those neat-o sweets and wanted to start right after breakfast!” Pinkie says as she takes a bite of pancake, followed by a swig of maple syrup.

You swallow your pancake and look for something to drink, only to find nothing. Following Pinkie’s lead, you grab the bottle of syrup and take a sip.

“I had some ideas of my own I might want to try out,” you mention as you grab another pancake.

The discussion moves away from the plans for the Candy Sutra to current events in Ponyville. Pinkie mentions something about Applejack going on vacation sometime soon, but other than that, everything was ‘same old, same old,’ as Pinkie had put it.

You and Pinkie finish breakfast quickly, and begin to clean up the mess. “I’ll take care of the dishes,” you offer as you grab the tray.

“Great! While you do that, I’ll get set up over here!” Pinkie says as she roots around through your saddlebag.

You balance the tray of dirty dishes on your back and quickly make your way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Pinkie’s enthusiasm has rubbed off on you; you were washing the dishes eagerly. As quickly as you could, in fact, just so that you could get back up to see what she had planned. As you finish washing the last dish, you realize that Mr. and Mrs. Cake had still not appeared. Looking into the window, you notice the “Closed” side of the sign was facing outwards. You head back upstairs and walk into Pinkie’s room.

“Hey Pinkie, have you seen Mr. and Mrs... Cake...” your voice trailed off as you took in the site before you. Pinkie laid out on the bed, spreadeagle position.

“Let’s play a game,” Pinkie says with a sly grin. “Find the spots on me that aren’t sweet and you win a prize.”

“What do you mean...Aren’t sweet?” you ask as you climb onto the bed.

Pinkie giggles. “I’ll give you a hint. The first one is on my tummy.”

Lowering your head down to Pinkie’s stomach, you smell her coat and the shampoo she uses, a pink bubblegum concoction she buys at the spa, but you also smell something else. Something tart. Finding the spot that smells the strongest of tart, you place your tongue on her stomach and finally realize what the smell was.

“Sourball?” you ask Pinkie.

She sticks her tongue out and reveals one of the green sourballs you made last night. “Four more.” she says before sticking the sourball back into her mouth.

Knowing what to look for now, you set to work.

Pinkie’s breathing grows shallow as you move your muzzle across her body. Finding a tart spot on her neck, you nip at her, eliciting a squeak from her.

“T-Three more...”

You continue along Pinkie’s front right leg and find a spot on her ankle. Knowing it’s her week spot, you can’t help but tease her by tracing your tongue across the whole thing, making her squirm and moan aloud. Finishing up the spot, you look up to Pinkie and can’t help but chuckle at her dreamy-eyed expression.

“Two...” she says, nearly above a whisper.

The next spot wasn’t too far from the first and was inside her underarm. Pinkie had told you before that she was very ticklish and this becomes apparent when her laughs echo through the entire house as your tongue traces across her underarm. By the end of it, Pinkie was in tears and her entire face was bright red.

“O-o-o-one more!” she gasps out, trying to catch her breath.

The last place was obvious, but there was no way you couldn’t call it sweet. Placing your lips onto hers, you and Pinkie share a sweet and sour kiss. Her tongue finds its way into your mouth and you can’t help but taste the sourball she had been eating earlier. And while you’ve never been a fan of sour candy, you can’t help but enjoy what it turned this kiss into. You pull away from the kiss and grin mischievously at Pinkie.

“What?” she asks.

“Didn’t you say I win a prize?”

Pinkie looks confused for a moment, but then nods her head as she remembers, apparently forgetting what she said when lost in the moment. “It’s your turn.” she says. “Do whatever you want to me.”

Your entire face goes red.

She couldn’t mean... you shake the visions out of your head and turn to your saddlebag. Reaching in, you grab a large coil of red rope.

“I’m going to need some help getting this set up.” you say.

Pinkie raises an eyebrow. “What’s the rope for?” she asks.

“Licorice.” you correct.

Getting the licorice tied around the rafters was harder than you had imagined. Luckily, you made it happen with Pinkie’s help. By the end, there were eight strands of licorice, each about an inch thick, hanging from the ceiling. The next part was tricky, however. Positioning the table under the licorice, you had Pinkie lay on her back with her hooves in the air.

“Okay, what next?” she asks.

You didn’t know the first thing about bondage, but the idea interested you. You knew that the licorice ropes had to support all of her weight, so you begin to tie them to key points of her body so they hold her without being too uncomfortable. By the end of it, Pinkie is hanging upside down, her hooves bound together and swinging freely.

“I didn’t know you were into these sort of things.” Pinkie says as she adjusts herself.

“Neither did I...” you say under your breath. Reaching back into your saddlebag, you take out a final piece of licorice that’s shorter than the others. Carrying it in your mouth, you walk towards Pinkie and push her, making her spin. As her rump comes into view, you throw your head back and bring the licorice whip down on her, making her squeak aloud.

Setting the whip down, you spin Pinkie the opposite way until she’s facing you. “How was that?” you ask.

Pinkie Pie blushes heavily. “Umm... Can you do it again?” she asks bashfully.

“If that’s what you want, Kinky Pie,” you say teasingly. You spin Pinkie Pie around again and pick up the licorice whip and bring it down again. Pinkie moans aloud this time, obviously enjoying it. You decide to try another spot and manage to get the licorice whip to hit her back, making her moan even louder.

“Wow, Kinky Pie. You are really enjoying this. If I had known, I would have made a candy cane bit to go with it.”

You keep this up for what feels like a half an hour before stopping. Pinkie’s rump was bright red and her back had red streaks across it. It looked painful, but she just spun upside down with a satisfied smile on her face.

“You okay, Pinkie?” you ask.

“YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND, BABY RIGHT ROUND LIKE A RECORD, BABY! RIGHT ROUND ROUND ROUND!” Pinkie cries out as she spins around in a circle.

“Uhhhh Pinkie? Are you okay?” Pinkie doesn’t answer you, but instead keeps smiling.

“I think it’s time we get you down form there.” you say as you begin to untie Pinkie. As you undo one of the knots, one of the licorice ropes breaks, causing Pinkie to jerk violently and snaps her out of her daze. She looks up at the rafters and frowns. “Well that’s not good.” she says. Following her gaze, you watch as the licorice ropes begin to fray and stretch. You jump to grab Pinkie before she falls, but only serve as a landing pad for her as she comes crashing down. You and Pinkie groan aloud in pain and help each other to your hooves. You both stop dead when you hear a voice from the other side of the door.

“Oh, I hope they’re okay.”

You and Pinkie look at each other, wide eyed. She motions her eyes towards you and then towards the door. Taking the hint, you walk along the wall and reach out and grab the doorknob. Flinging the door open, you are shocked to see two ponies you know fall onto the floor in front of you.

“MR. AND MRS. CAKE?” you yell aloud.

Mrs. Cake scramble to her hooves and stumbles across her words. “O-o-oh! Uh, Hi! We were just, ah, well, that is, were...”

It’s obvious that Mrs. Cake didn’t expect to be caught in this situation.

“We were looking for the bathroom!” Mr. Cake finally chimes in, wearing a sheepish smile.

“Yes! That’s it!” Mrs. Cake exclaims. “This isn’t it, so we’ll be going now!”

“But you live here.” you say, shattering their already flimsy story.

“Oh, well... Umm...” Mrs. Cake looks desperately for the right words, but finds nothing.

Pinkie Pie gasps aloud as she puts the pieces together. “Oh my gosh! Were you spying on us?!?” Pinkie asks, almost enthusiastically.

Mrs. Cake opens her mouth, but stops and sighs heavily. “Yes. We were. I’m sorry! It’s just the thing with the chocolate and whip cream went over so well and I wanted to know what I could do next.” The fact that Mrs. Cake was watching you didn’t shock you as much as what she was now admitting.

“...What you could do next?” you ask.

Mr. Cake nods. “I’m to blame for this entire mess... I saw you two well, going at it it yesterday. The Mrs. here has been complaining that things have been a little...Boring lately and I got this notion to try it out with her.”

Mrs. Cake blushes heavily and nods her her head. “It was definitely something new... When I asked him where he came up with that, he told me about you two and well... I just had to see more.”

Everyone was silent for the longest time before Pinkie Pie speaks up

“So, what did you think?” she asks.

“Uhh... Well... I don’t know about the whole whipping thing.” Mr. Cake says bashfully.

“Umm I may want to try that out...” Mrs. Cake says above a whisper.

Mr. Cake eyes go wide and turns to his wife. “A..Are you sure about that, Cupcake?”

Mrs. Cake leans in and whispers something into Mr. Cake’s ear, making his entire face go bright red. He reaches for you and grabs you by the shoulders.

“How long would it take to make more licorice?” he asks sharply.

“Uh, maybe a day?” you sputter out, taken aback by Mr. Cake’s brashness.

Mrs. Cake looks a little disappointed by the news. “What do you do until then?”

Pinkie puts a hoof around Mrs. Cake’s shoulder and brings her close. “You see, this is what you do...” she says before whispering something to Mrs. Cake. At one point, Mrs. Cake gasps aloud. “Oh my... I never thought to use cherries for that!” she says with a giggle.

When Pinkie’s done with Mrs. Cake, she turns to both of you. “I’m REALLY sorry for all of this. I feel horrible for spying on you two during such an intimate moment.”

You feel yourself blush and you rub the back of your head with your hoof. “It’s okay. Just wait for the book to come out, okay?”

“Book?” Mrs. Cake asks quizzically.

“Yup! I’m writing a book! The Candy Sutra! It’ll have everything we’ve been doing it!” Pinkie says proudly.

Mr. Cake lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank Celestia! I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if we kept spying on you like that. Come on, Cupcake, let’s leave these two alone,” he says as he nuzzle Mrs. Cake.

Without a word, the two bolt down the stairs, nipping at each other and giggling like two young lovers.

“Well... That was awkward.” you say as you close the door.

Pinkie nods. “I don’t think I can go on knowing they’re doing something in the other room.”

An awkward silence fills the room for some time before you finally say something.

“I think I have some cherries at my house.”

Pinkie turns to you. “And I know a shop that sells fresh whipped cream.”

Without a word, you and Pinkie bound down the stairs and into the streets of Ponyville, laughing and kissing each other. You were happy and it was all because of the sweetest pony in all of Equestria. Pinkie Pie plants a kiss on your lips and smiles as you make it to your house.

“I love you.”