The Equestrian Adventure!

by CrystalHero97

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Random, Human
Length: 2263

Two teenagers. Both Aussie. Both best friends. Both bronies. The two take a little adventure into Equestria and end up in all kindsa trouble!

(Edit: Yeah, given up on this because people don't think it's got a great storyline or whatever. It's a fucking random comedy, people. Don't expect the best storylines.)

Two Aussies. Both are smart arses. Both are teenagers. Both are Bronies. And they're both in Equestria!

Join Gus and Declan as they go through the days in Equestria with nothing but each other, and a few hundred million insults, smart arse retorts and punches.

Join the two on their epic journey filled with blood, sweat, cake, sugar, piss, water, snot and acid! Join them, on their Equestrian Adventure!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-17 16:50:02 UTC

Prologue - An Introduction To The Story

Hello, readers. My name is CrystalHero97, or "Crystal" if you prefer. What I am about to tell you is the epic adventure of two teenagers. Now-

'Oi, Author?! Mind gettin' to the story? Kinda bored here sittin' in limbo!'

Oh, for fucks sake Declan! Shut the hell up! I'm trying to tell our readers that-

'Yeahyeahyeah. That's cool 'n' all, but I'm still bored!'

Excuse me for trying to make this story at least sound appealing to our audience.

'Who the fuck is even reading this, anyway?'

I don't bloody know! I have a small group of fans, but I doubt they would be interested in anything outside of Starting Over 4.

'Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Well, jeez. Who the fucks gunna read this, then?'

Some guy who got bored one night and decided to browse FiM Fiction for a bit and stumbled across our story and just thought to themselves "Eh, why the fuck not." and read it.

'But I want more than just one guy to read our story! And if you're gunna be working on this, what's gunna happen to What Am I Doing Here 2 then?'

Just because I'm writing another fic doesn't mean I gave up on my previous stories.

'Except for Starting Over 4.'

Starting Over 4 isn't even part of the main canon of the Trilogy anymore! Why bother keep writing it when I need to work on this AND WAIDH2?

'Well your fans seem to absolutely fucking love the series and don't wanna see it die.'

*Sigh* I will admit that I got a lot of fans of Starting Over, but to me the series is just anchoring my talent. Sure, I could keep writing Starting Over but I could put more time and effort into my other stories and when I'm done with 'em I'll work on SO4 I promise!

'What about that Fallout Equestria fic you said you'd work on?'

I'm going to read the original first then read some other versions so I can get a decent idea of what to write! Now, buzz off Declan! I'm trying to write your fucking story after all.

'Alrighty then! Christ, sorry mate. Go back doin' what you were doin'.'

Thank you, Declan.

*AHEM*

Now, these two teenagers are very close friends to one another. One of them has very curly and unkempt brown hair and loves computer games. He also enjoys making people smile, be it either through his YouTube channel or his fanfics. Declan is a very weird and interesting individual.

'Hey, that's me! Hiya, guys! Howya doin'?! Nice to meet-'

Oi shut the fuck up and let me finish a simple prologue ya douche bag!

'Sorry!'

The other one has very dark, very short hair and loves video games. He's normally quiet and aware of his surroundings. Around friends he becomes more open than to others. He talks and laughs with his mates like it was second nature. Out of the two of them, Gus is the more well behaved one.

Both of them, however, had no idea of what was to come for them....

Chapter The First - Ponies, Dude!

....

Hey man, what's wrong?

I...I have no idea how to begin this chapter...

You're acting like this is the first time you ever wrote a fanfic.

No I'm not. When I first started I was complete shit.

You're still complete shit.

Yeah...I know. So how do I begin?

Paint the scene! Put an image in your readers minds depicting the situation!

Alright. If I get downvoted because of this I will kill you.

But I AM you, and you are ME.

I'll still kill you!

So you're saying if this get's a downvote you'll kill yourself?

Yes!

....

.....

....You sound pathetic.

Can we begin?!

Certainly. Paint the scene, author!

In a small town out in the middle of nowhere in Australia lived two teenagers named Gus and Declan. Or rather Declan lived there and Gus was visiting. Declan was currently playing Borderlands 2 on his PC while Gus played [Prototype] on his PS3, lying down on Declan's bed lazily. The room was adorned with piles of junk and clothing, and a microwave in the corner. Declan looked up from his PC to the ceiling of his messy, white walled bedroom and sighed.

"Honestly, why am I always playing my PC in these fics? And more importantly why am I always playing Borderlands 2?"

Because you have nothing else of interest in your life, you faggot.

Declan paused his game and placed his hands on his hips.

"Oh. OH. Now you're making fun of my bisexuality?"

How can I be making fun of myself, jack hole?

"Don't you dare insult me Borderlands 2 style!"

Why not, ya skag lick?

Declan stood up to his full height and raised a fist to the sky in clear vivid anger.

"I'LL SHOW YOU A SKAG-"

"Declan, who the fuck are you talking to?"

Declan glanced over to Gus with annoyance.

"The Author, duh."

Gus shook his head and paused his game. He leaned a hand against the side of his head while propping his arm on the bed, staring at Declan with confusion and interest.

"Author?"

Declan merely nodded and looked back up to the ceiling with anger etched across his face.

"Yeah, the author of the fanfic we're in."

Gus opened his mouth then closed it again. He jumped up from his position and stood next to Declan, pinching his nose.

"Lemme guess, we're in your fanfic?"

Declan nodded, not taking his eyes off the ceiling staring at me...

Dude this is creepy, stop it.

"FUCK YOU!"

Gus shook his head, not wanting to hear the answer to his next question.

"Are we in a HiE fic?"

Declan nodded and Gus sighed angrily.

"Fuckin' hell. Fine. When do we go and meet the Mane 6?"

Declan smiled and turned to face his best friend with a massive grin and a raised finger, like he was prepared to say something.

Too bad Declan is a dumb shit that didn't know anything.

Declan frowned and tilted his head back towards me.

We're gunna refer to the sky as myself, alright?

"Shut up, Author! It's like you think of yourself as God or something!"

Well, technically I am in comparison to you. I can alter reality around you, you little shit.

"Oh yeah?!"

Yeah!

"Alright then! Make us appear in Equestria out of thin air, dickhead!"

FINE!

Within a bright, blinding flash of light the two teenagers found themselves experince the feeling of free falling, even though the were still in the bedroom.

"Declan?"

"Yes, Gus?"

"Why is all your stuff floating upwards slowly?"

Declan looked around himself and saw that, indeed, everything was slowly floating upwards, including Gus and himself.

"I can only assume the room is falling."

"Should we scream?"

"Indeed."

The two grabbed each other and began screaming their lungs out, which annoyed me to a great deal so I slowed the decent of their fall to Equestria's ground. When the room touched down on Equestrian ground a resounding *THUMP* noise was created as the two suddenly smashed into the floor of the room groaning.

Declan looked up at his friend, who was lying down on his side facing him.

"Wanna get up and check where we are?"

Gus shook his head and Declan groaned, nodding in agreement.

"I say we sleep until I can feel my junk again. Seconded?"

Gus nodded and thumped his head on the ground. Declan moaned in pain and sighed.

"Motion carried."

Declan closed his eyes and embraced the world of sleep...

.....

..O...Okay. What....What do I do now? The main protagonists are asleep! What the hell? Ah, fuck it. If I can alter reality then everything should turn out alright for 'em I suppose. I'll just go and check on the ponies. If you miss a large object falling through the sky and landing on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest then you must be either blind or senile. Or both.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Ah, let's check  up on Twilight. Ah.....doo-bee-doo.....la-la-la.....Ah! Here she is!

Twilight was currently with her friends circling the bodies of- WAIT! WHAT THE FUCK?!

Apparently, Twilight found Declan and Gus in the time it took me to find her and took them to her library! WHAT THE SHIT?! What kind of reality altering Author am I being right now?! I couldn't even keep track of the main characters of my story!

"Aw, cheer up Mr. Author. You're doing an alright job so far!"

...Really?

"Yeah! I couldn't write a story like this!"

...Thank yo- Wait a minute? Pinkie Pie?! You can talk to me like Declan can!?

"Yuppers!"

....I'm gunna need an aspirin for this....

"Pinkie, who are you talking to?"

Pinkie looked to Twilight with a massive smile.

"The Author of the story, silly!"

Twilight blinked before she shook her head and turned her attention to the two unconscious teenagers. Fluttershy was cradling the head of Gus while Rainbow Dash looked over the body of Declan with interest.

...Psst....Pinkie?

"Yeah?"

Ya know, I can read your mind, right? If ya wanna talk just use Italic font.

"Okie Do- I mean-" Okie Dokie Lokie.

Excellent! I also made your thoughts Pink so it's distinguishable from Declan's thoughts.

Who's Declan?

He's- Oh, sorry Pinkie. Can't spoil the story.

Okie Dokie Lokie!

With a strangled grunt, Declan awoke from his sleep. All the ponies took a cautious step back, except for Fluttershy and Rainbow. Fluttershy continued holding Gus' sleeping head while Rainbow floated above Declan with a small grin. Declan sat up and rubbed the back of his head.

"What the fuuuccckkk....Where am I-"

His eyes flew open and saw the ponies staring at him in awe, as well as the flying cyan pegasus. Declan's eyes widened at the sight of the athlete.

Okay Declan, be cool. Be fucking cool. Your favourite pony is hovering above you. Just. Be. Co-

"You're pretty cool lookin'."

When the words left the cyan pegasus' muzzle Declan sprung up and wrapped her in a death defying hug.

"OHMYGODIT'SRAINBOWDASHICAN'TBELIEVEITYOUCALLEDMECOOLTHAT'SCOOL-"

Rainbow wrestled away from Declan with a look of confusion.

Aww. Can't you make her fall in love with me or something?

Yeah, I can. But I won't.

Fuck you.

Rainbow smiled lightly at the teen.

"Well, you know who I am. But I we have no idea what the heck you are. What ar-"

"Human. Name's Declan. 16 years old. Love junk food and video games. Bisexual Australian. Issat a cookie?"

Declan pushed passed the dumbstruck pegasus and towards Pinkie Pie, who was now eating a plate of cookies. She smiled and gave him one. Declan took the cookie and sat next to the party pony casually while munching on the cookie. Pinkie looked to Declan with a small smile and gulped whatever she had in her mouth.

hehehe...

Fuck you.

"So, you're Declan?"

Declan nodded in response and finished his cookie, grabbing another.

"The Author told me about you."

Declan barked a laugh and swallowed whatever was in his mouth.

hehehe....

Fuck you.

"Figures. Pinkie Pie, the ultimate fourth wall breaker, can communicate to God."

Pinkie Pie did a giggle snort and took another cookie.

God damnnit her giggle snort is fucking adorable.

Ditto.

A loud moan came from Gus as he lifted his head out of Fluttershy's embrace.

"What de fok?"

He looked around and spotted Declan next to Pinkie. Declan merely waved a hand at his compadre.

"Hey, man. We're in Equestria, bro."

Gus groaned and rubbed his head in pain.

"I think I have a concussion."

"Man the fuck up. Oh and look behind you."

"What are yo-"

When Gus saw Fluttershy his eyes widened at her sight, making her flinch and back away slightly. Declan was watching with an evil look.

He knows not to frighten her, but he's probably resisting the urge to grab her and just hug her forever.

Yeah, makes it quite interesting, right?

Indeed.

In a split second Declan's view was interrupted as a cyan blur streaked in front of him with anger.

"W-What the hay was that before? You just spoke like Pinkie on sugar and-"

Can you make Rainbow not exist for a moment? I need to watch Gus try and not fanboy.

Who's Rainbow?

Tha~nk you!

Who is Rainbow Dash? Never heard of her. As Declan watched Gus he tossed a cookie to Gus. He looked to the cookie then back to Declan, who gave him a thumbs up. Gus sighed and took the cookie, offering it to the timid pegasus before him. She looked beyond her mane and saw the teen looking at her with a smile. She smiled in return and took the cookie.

"I-I-I'm F-Fluttershy."

Dawwwww.....Okay here's Rainbow, Declan.

Oh, fuckin' hell..

The cyan pegasus who was totally there the entire time stared at him with anger.

"Can you give us a decent explanation of who you are!?"

Declan sighed and nodded, throwing a cookie at Gus' head.

"Oi! We gotta do the explainin' shit!"

Gus groaned and nodded.

"I hate these parts of a HiE. Shit seems to go wrong here."

"I know, bro. I know."

Meanwhile the Author lied back in his bed, staring at the laptop screen that now illuminated his room. His alarm clock said it was 1:46am, and boy was he tired....

Wait I'm describing myself...while writing a fanfic about myself who argues with myself....while writing about myself describing myself describing myself writing about myself arguing with myself....

ULTIMATE INCEPTION