The Peculiar Dream Journal Of William Klaskovsky

by Akumokagetsu

Rating: mature
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Sex, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Other, Romance, Princess Luna
Length: 192921

Princess Luna takes a particular interest in the dreams of one William Klaskovsky.

It's been two whole years since Discord first adopted a human child, leaving him in the care of Rainbow Dash. William finds that he is suffering from recurring nightmares, and Princess Luna herself steps in to discover why.
Perhaps William could focus a little more clearly if he weren't trying to handle seduction via draconequus.
Part of the extended 8-Verse.
Props to the artist!

Published 2013-12-01 20:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-01 14:15:16 UTC

Hey, Soul Sister

0-0-0-0-0

William sat quietly on the sofa, watching the pegasus march back and forth furiously from wall to wall. Rainbow Dash muttered violently under her breath the entire while, occasionally glaring up at Eris at random intervals. The draconequus, however, seemed completely unperturbed, and was preoccupied with idly clicking her talons together and making multicolored sparks leap from tip to tip.

“Can’t believe – of the time – for Celestia’s sake – the nerve!” William could barely hear her, and it was clear that she was having difficulty forcing down her outrage, along with a couple of choice curse words.

“May I… go?” William finally asked, a little put off by the mare’s frustration. It was rare that he had even seen her all that angry, let alone turning red from the sheer rage.

“Stay put,” Dash snapped a hoof in his direction, not pausing in her frantic pacing. He could have sworn that a whiplash sound went off the moment that she did so, and he had to refrain from jumping at her lightning speed. “Mangle – gonna mangle your father!” she quickly resumed pacing, adding quite a few violent threats to her angry mumbling.

“… Well, I’m bored,” Eris spouted dryly, using her tail to make a mustache over William’s lip. He swiped it away distractedly, clenching his hands tightly together as he watched the pegasus pace with an intense stare. “Knew I should have brought that Parcheesi board. Have you ever played Parcheesi with actual cheese? It’s awesome. I don’t even know how to play Parcheesi. I just really like the name. Pah-reh-chee-zee. Come on, Willy, say it with me.”

“Do you simply enjoy the sound of your own voice?” William furrowed his brows in annoyance, leveling a glare at the disinterested draconequus. He had to look up at her, even though she was slouching beside him.

“What?” she shrugged, cocking an eyebrow. “Just trying to make friendly conversation. You sound as if you hate fun.”

"You sound as if you like it too much."

"You sound as if you have a stick up your ass."

“You sound as if you have severe attention deficit hyper disorder.”

0-0-0-0-0

“You have got to be bucking kidding me.”

“I know,” Rainbow Dash quietly explained to the stunned mare. Pinkie Pie merely looked back and forth between the lazily reclining draconequus in the living room and the pegasus in the hall before her, as if unable to completely comprehend it. “Believe me, Pinks, I know.”

“No warning, or anything?” she asked under her breath, leaving her collected groceries and goods for the following day’s festivities in the hallway and stealing another glance at Eris. “I mean – oh, jeez, Dashie. What now?”

‘What now’ was a perfectly valid question, and Dash only fretted further because of it. She ran a hoof through her multihued mane in distress, and leaned tiredly against Pinkie’s shoulder.

“I mean, we can’t just throw her out,” Dash muttered.

“So-so you want the daughter of chaos itself to stay here.”

“Of course I don’t want her to stay,” Rainbow Dash shot back in a hushed tone. “I don’t even know the mare – I don’t think I can even call her a mare!”

Pinkie slowly tilted her head, thinking. Dash shook her head slowly, and whispered “I’m sorry, Pinkie Pie, I’m just really worked up. Discord is just-just…!” she mimed strangling the air before her, and Pinkie nodded understandingly before patting her on the shoulder.

“Come on, sugar bun. Perk up, eh?” she grinned good naturedly. “Everything is going to be fine, I Pinkie Promise. Let’s just go work this out, it’ll be fun. Chillax, baby. I brought pumpkin cake.”

“Who brought pumpkin cake?”

Dash and Pinkie both leapt at the sound of Eris’s gleeful voice from the ceiling above them, who sat relaxed in a spot where gravity seemed to have reversed itself just for her.

“Dammit, Eris!”

0-0-0-0-0

To William, Eris seemed both thoroughly surprised and a little put off by Pinkie Pie’s overeager attitude. Her ears occasionally flattened against her head at random intervals, and only when Pinkie spoke. Sometimes they perked straight up, other times whirling around like radial antennae. It was then that William realized that they were picking up speed, and slapping against her head every time Pinkie pronounced a vowel.

A short, muffled choking sound was heard through a mouthful of pumpkin cake, and Pinkie Pie patted the boy roughly on the back.

“Okay there, Will?” she asked him with a hint of concern, and William was a little glad to know that she hadn’t actually realized just how difficult it had been for him to force down the bizarre spasm of laughter. William was not known for intermittent or spontaneous bursts of laughter.

Ever.

“F-fine,” he coughed finally, wiping his face with a napkin and forcing himself to avert his eyes from the mysteriously hilarious ear-wiggles. William silently berated himself for his childishness, his steely and blank face returning. “I apologize. I failed to pay attention.”

“What, do I seriously need to start all over?” the draconequus grinned at him, her knowing smirk making his own ears burn. “Which part did you lose track at, tiny? The hellish rollercoaster through Zombie Forest, or the part where Dad and me hijacked a helicopter?”

“His name is William,” Rainbow Dash corrected her unexpectedly sternly, a deep frown set on her face. “And he’s not tiny. It’s not his fault he’s not a proper stallion.”

“Dashie!” Pinkie Pie cringed at the boy’s stare.

“What?” Dash scowled, crossing her hooves across her chest and slumping forward at the wooden table grumpily. “He’s just – you know… proportionate. Or something.”

Pinkie Pie slid a hoof slowly down her face, her barely concealed groan muffled behind a sigh.

“Let’s not get into this again,” Pinkie held up a hoof in pleading submission. She turned to Eris with a wry half-smile, and said “Dash just gets a little… overprotective, at-at times. Sometimes, not very, er… articulately.”

“Yeesh, you make me sound like some grunting cockatrice,” Dash rolled her eyes, but a sheepishly apologetic look started crawling onto her face.

“And you two,” Eris pointed at the two with her fork, her mouth full of pumpkin cake. “You two sound like an old married couple. Huh. Just like an old married c-”

If anything, William’s expression failed to remain ‘expressionless’ and began gradually twitching into ‘highly amused’.

“… Oh, Jesus.”

William blinked, the gears turning. He hadn’t expected something like that out of the draconequus’s mouth, and would have said something if he weren’t enjoying her stunned gawking so much.

Besides. She called him tiny.

“Ah,” Pinkie nodded sagely. “Eeyup. Me and Dashie here are Will’s moms.”

“Mom-zzzzzzzzz?” Eris swallowed slowly, looking back and forth between Pinkie and the pegasus. “You know, as-as in –” she held up her paw and talon, folding them into mimic faces and making crude slurping noises as she mashed them together. “ – Moms as in plural? Moms as in that kind of moms? How come Dad didn’t tell me?”

“Well,” Rainbow Dash frowned, shifting her hooves off the table as Pinkie Pie calmly helped herself to another slice of pumpkin cake. “I guess we’re in the same boat. Seems like Discord keeps all the important information to himself, the lazy bastard,” she added under her breath. “Besides, what did you think was going on?” Dash cocked an eyebrow.

“I dunno. I just kinda figured you guys were fuck buddies or something.”

Pinkie Pie choked on her cake.

“Just for the record,” Eris jabbed a talon at Rainbow Dash in hostility. “I am not calling you ‘Mommy’.”

“Never asked you to,” Dash shot back just as haughtily. “Maybe Discord should have thought about leaving you with your own mother instead of dumping you off on me.”

“My mother is dead.”

It was silent in the kitchen for a long, long moment. It must have been only a short period, but to William, it felt as if it stretched on for eternity.

“… Well!” Pinkie Pie clapped her hooves together with a forced smile. “Lunch break is over, why don’t you munchkins go play outside and get used to each other?” she turned a little desperately to William, who only nodded understandingly.

“Thank you for the dessert, Pinkie.” He folded his napkin neatly over his plate, pulling away from the table. “Miss… Eris. If you would so kindly follow me, I believe that it is my current duty to perform proper ‘neighborhood introductions’.”

“Oh, joy,” the draconequus slid out of her chair without a hint of sarcasm and after William as he quietly slipped out the door. “Zombies, adopted humans, grand theft auto, imploding rhinos, universal mysteries, lesbians and sucking up to four-legged neighbors. This day just keeps getting better!”

0-0-0-0-0

“You have got to be bucking kidding me,” Scootaloo stared at the slightly hunched draconequus, who reclined on a cushion of air in the center of their clubhouse. William could hardly believe that it had already been two whole years since he had first seen the interior of that ludicrously brightly painted little clubhouse, or how he had initially looked at it in such disdain. Sometimes, he felt more at home with his friends in their ‘headquarters’ than he did anywhere else. It was like a sanctuary, and that Eris had been allowed in made it seem… slightly less significant, somehow. As if she were invading, coming to take his friends away.

William struggled to shake off the odd feeling.

“Your sister?” Sweetie Belle asked, tramping in circles gleefully around Eris. “Why didn’t you ever tell us, Will?”

“I only just found out,” William sat cross legged against one of the wooden walls. “And she’s only my adopted sister.”

“Pfft,” Eris rolled her mismatched eyes, twirling around on her stomach and propping her chin in her hands. “Only. I hate that word, it makes everything sound like it’s worth less than it really is. Only Eris, only a rocket ship, only highly combustible things that I’m not supposed to play with. I’m allergic to ‘only’.”

“I like ‘er,” Applebloom grinned, trying (and failing) not to look too much like she was staring at Eris’s oddly shifting body. “She kinda reminds me of one of them springing toys in a box.”

“Seriously?” Eris snorted, grasping her own tail and winding it as she would a jack-in-the-box. Applebloom watched in surprise as even the memorable toy’s sound began erupting loudly from her tail as she wound herself down, cramping down smaller and smaller until she was nearly the same height as Applebloom herself.

“… Uh…” Sweetie gaped, uncertain of what to make of the situation.

“Quick!” Eris squeaked in a high pitched voice that reminded William of a gerbil on helium as she stuck out a talon. “Pull my finger!”

Sweetie Belle looked to the farm pony, who only shook her head.

“Nope, I ain’t doin’ it.”

Scootaloo snickered and rolled her eyes, and reached out with two hooves to tug on the draconequus’s talon. She pulled carefully, ready to jump when Eris would undoubtedly make a loud noise and expand, just as a jack-in-the-box would.

However, Eris did no such thing.

A stinging, raunchy smell filled the air bare moments after a loud raspberry made the windows rattle, and Eris collapsed to the floor, clutching her sides in hysterics.

“Aw, dude!” Scootaloo held her nose, slightly jealous that the unamused boy at least had the cloth of his shirt to cover his nose, even though it was obvious that he was trying to look completely unperturbed. “What the crap, do that outside!”

“What did you think would happen if I said ‘pull my finger?’ Doi?” Eris cackled madly, extending back into the air and balancing on the tip of her tail. “That has got to be one of the oldest and lamest things in the book, and you dorks are surprised?”

“Hey!” Scootaloo glowered, waving a hoof over her nose. “At least we don’t need diapers!”

“Christ almighty,” Eris clicked her talons, all the windows flying upward with loud bangs and clacks. “Willy, your friends need to learn how to chill out.”

“My name is William,” he deadpanned. He started to go on, but changed the subject, as it looked as if something where nagging at him. “Miss Eris-”

“Oh, please,” she snickered, poking the boy on the nose. “Call me Leonard.”

William actually stuttered, struggling to speak through his confusion.

“Sorry, what?” he blinked again. “Is your name not Eris?”

The draconequus slapped a paw against her forehead, and groaned loudly.

“For god’s sake, tiny. It’s not a joke if I have to explain the joke!”

“That,” William pointed at her, almost desperate not to get sidetracked once again. “Why do you keep doing that?”

“Because I like dick jokes?” Eris blinked in return. “Why else would I call you tiny?”

William turned a vibrantly glowing shade of red, and glowered at her. Applebloom only laughed and even Sweetie Belle had difficulty hiding a titter, but Scootaloo looked away altogether.

“That’s not what I meant!” he demanded, the burning in his cheeks growing unbearable. “I meant, why do you keep using phrases and words clearly not native to Equestria?”

“… You know,” Eris finally settled on the ground across from him, leaning against the wall. However, so great was her length in comparison to the clubhouse that her tail simply stretched across and poked him in the nose again. “Dad said you were supposed to be really smart. Figure it out.”

He huffed mightily through his nostrils, and pinched his temples in annoyance.

“Miss Eris,” William seethed quietly. “I merely wished to know whether or not you were natively Equestrian, in an attempt to make friendly banter and enforce a potentially more substantial and welcoming atmosphere.”

“What?” Eris jerked her head back up at him, after Applebloom was whispering something to her. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I’m just gonna pretend you said ‘puppies’ and call it a day.”

She stared at him, and then burst out laughing hysterically once more.

“Pffft – puppies! Ha!”

0-0-0-0-0

Eris stifled a yawn as Rainbow Dash passed the draconequus a small stack of blankets, each one embroidered with brightly colored pastries.

“When precisely will it be finished?” William asked awkwardly, and Rainbow Dash rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

“AJ said her brother had most of the bed frame finished,” the pegasus nodded to the boy, who sat on a small pallet on his bedroom floor while Eris bounced energetically on his bed. “I’m not really surprised Big Macintosh hurt himself, with as fast as he was trying to get it done. It’s just for one night, Squirt.”

“It’s not necessarily the bed itself that I’m disconcerted about,” William eyed the overexcited draconequus warily as she spun like a top, twirling blankets in a whirlwind around her.

“Just get some shut eye,” Dash glared at Eris, who promptly ceased her activities and stood at attention on the bedpost, ending in a stiff salute. “We’ve got to be up early in the morning. Summer Sun Celebration, and all that.”

“The what now?” Eris asked in mild interest. “Is there a party, or somethin’?”

“The Summer Sun Celebration is an annual festive gathering of all pony races,” William recited swiftly. “Generally it's held at dusk, with –”

“Easy, Squirt,” Dash grinned tiredly at him as Pinkie Pie snuck up behind her and gradually slung a hoof over her shoulder. “If she hasn’t seen it yet, you wouldn’t want to go ruining the surprise, would you?”

“I suppose not,” William settled in quietly, staring up at the ceiling as the pegasus shut off the lights.

“Squirt?” Eris peered over the edge of the bed down at him with a raised brow. “Wouldn’t happen to be related to ‘tiny’, would it?”

William could not for the life of him bring himself to answer without stuttering.

0-0-0-0-0

Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

I do not believe that I care much for my new ‘sister’.

She is clearly either deliberately antagonistic, or utterly mad.

I am fearful that it may be both.

Boom Boom Pals

0-0-0-0-0

“Oh dear God this place is boring.”

Eris yawned and sprawled out over the park bench upside down, her tail lolling over the back and trailing on the ground. William shifted awkwardly beside her, continuously looking back and forth down the little path in the park as a couple of chatting elderly ponies passed, the only other sign of sentient life around.

“Maybe she’s just held up a little,” William fiddled with his fingertips. “Scootaloo shouldn’t be much longer, I think.”

“Whoop de frick,” the draconequus refrained from yawning again. “Is your little girlfriend always late?”

“Mifflapth!”

Of course, this was all that William could manage to sputter with Eris’s fuzzy tail tip poking him playfully in the nose again. He swiped her away, glowering at her as his cheeks grew pinker.

“She is not my girlfriend, thank you,” William straightened his small black tailored shirt a little tighter around himself. “And Scootaloo is generally very punctual, for your information.”

“Oh?” Eris twirled around, sitting up straight and kicking her feet up on dead air. “Guess that means you’re available, huh, tiny?”

“Please stop calling me that,” he muttered, turning away from her hungry gaze awkwardly.

“Wh~y?” she asked in a singsong voice, tickling him in the rib with one talon. “Is somebody a little self-conscious?”

“No,” William pushed her paw away slowly. “Quit trying, I’m not ticklish.”

“Bull~shit!” Eris giggled, her tail wriggling around behind William and tickling the opposite side of his neck as she poked his belly. “I know you’ve got a ticklish spot some~whe~re…!”

“I do not,” he deadpanned, seemingly oblivious to her attempts. “I have no ‘ticklish spots’, thank you.”

“… Uh-hrmm,” the draconequus purred, drawing him in with her tail and wrapping it around his waist. “I’m sure I could find a ticklish spot… somewhere.”

His face burned as the implication finally set in, her sly wink only causing the heat to rise.

“Heyya, Will!”

Eris cackled maniacally as William fell unceremoniously to the ground, desperately struggling to explain the situation in any possible way except for what it looked like. Instead, William only found himself sputtering and spouting gibberish.

“Waiting for – late – need the – tail in my – I am not ticklish!” William shouted red faced, hands clenching and unclenching rapidly as his heart raced so quickly he thought it would explode.

“… O-kay…?” the bright orange pegasus stepped off of her scooter slowly, warily watching the twitching boy and the hysterically laughing draconequus. “Sorry I’m late – had to dodge Dee Tee again today.”

“Dee Tee?” Eris leaned forward, mildly interested. She did have the courtesy to offer a paw to William to help him to his feet, but he stood angrily on his own, violently dusting himself.

“Oh, it’s just Diamond Tiara,” Scootaloo rolled her eyes, hopping up onto the empty space beside Eris. “She’s the ‘sort of’ Cutie Mark Crusader. Real clingy, ya know?”

“Is she ‘sort of’ cute?” she raised an eyebrow slowly.

“What?” the pegasus blinked. “I dunno. I guess a colt would think so, maybe. Will, is Diamond Tiara cute?”

And although William had finally found his voice, he sincerely wished that he could have a skill somewhat useful in those particular situations, such as the ability to remain silent when he really wanted to instead of when he needed to speak.

This was most definitely one of those situations.

“Oh, well, you know,” William jabbered uneasily, stepping back and forth as he realized that the staring pegasus had taken his spot on the bench. “Sure, she is. I mean, well, I could see why-why somebody might think she is – Diamond Tiara, I mean, that she might be cute – not that I think that, of course, that would be ridiculous – I mean, not that I have anything against Miss Tiara, for being cute – I mean, if one could define cute, then-”

For some reason, Eris only struggled to contain her powerful giggling the redder and more flustered William became.

“So…” Scootaloo fiddled with her scooter, sliding off the bench. “You do think she’s, uh… pretty.”

“Of course not!” William blurted defensively, secretly wishing that he could dig down a few yards and bury himself from her bizarrely piercing stare. “I-I mean, I wouldn’t want to dismiss her behind her back, that would be rude – I mean, not that I do it to her face – she is, but I don’t think so – I-I-I…!”

Eris had to stuff her knuckles in her mouth to stifle her hysterical giggling, and she wasn’t doing a very good job of it.

“Well, you guys look like you’re pretty busy,” Scootaloo said distractedly as she hopped onto her scooter and the familiar buzzing of her wings powered her along. “Later, Will!” she half waved at him without looking back, and sped down the path until she began to fade from view.

William simply stood twitching slightly on the spot for what felt like an eternity.

“… Huh,” Eris grinned at him, sprawling back in relaxation. “So, Willy, got a thing for the munchkin, eh?”

“Damn it!” William pounded his forehead with his fist angrily, thumping himself between the eyes. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up over it,” she joked, earning her an angry glare from the boy. “You’ll get the courage to ask her out, you just need a montage.”

“I am not asking – HORSEAPPLES!” he bellowed, head whipping back around toward the last direction Scootaloo left in. “I was supposed to check if she was coming!”

“Kinky.”

“I – what?” William balked. “I forgot to invite her – we have to go catch up!”

“Invite her to what?” Eris asked, turning herself upside down again for her own amusement and poking at the park bench’s leg. It mysteriously began wiggling like rubber, jiggling whenever she poked it.

“Have you been paying attention at all?” he began stomping after Scootaloo, thinking ahead to where she might have gone. “The Summer Sun Celebration is tonight!”

Eris shrugged halfheartedly, and gradually pulled herself away from the now quite floppy park bench and began trudging after the furious boy.

“I don’t even know what that is,” she admitted, scratching a spot behind her short antler. “The big shebang going on?”

William almost stopped midstride, but plowed on ahead steadily.

“Eris,” he calmed himself after a moment. “Precisely what do you know about Equestrian history?”

“Dude,” Eris rubbed her temples. “Listen, I just moved here. As in, to this dimension. I don’t know, and I don’t really care.”

That caused William to stop midstride.

“Dimension?” he asked, suddenly much more interested. It occurred to him that he really knew nothing about his adopted sister, aside from the fact that she looked somewhat similar to Discord.

“Eeh-yah,” she rolled her eyes, and William had to pick up the pace to keep up with her strides. “Again, Dad said you were supposed to be smart. To be honest, I’m a little disappointed in your brainage, Willy.”

“Brainage is not a word,” William stated flatly. “And how could I have possibly known that you come from a different world altogether unless someone implicitly told me so?”

“Keep your filthy logic out of my argument!” Eris crossed her arms grumpily, hiding a half grin.

“Tell me about the place you come from,” he demanded, desperate to keep from devolving into more nonsense. “What kind of place is it?”

Eris started to speak, but quickly clamped her mouth shut. She furrowed her brows deeply, folding her arms in tightly and clutching her sides, her vision narrowing in on something far ahead in the distance.

“… Bad.”

“That was painfully vague,” William said snarkily and started to continue, but held himself in check when he saw Eris shaking a pained look from her face.

“It was just bad,” she said darkly. “That’s all you need to know. Dad found me, and it’s been good since-”

She paused once again, and shook her head.

“… Huh. Can’t seem to… remember. What were we doing again?”

“I need to find Scootaloo,” William sped up once again, determination returning. “In all likelihood, she has returned to the clubhouse, and at that point I can properly invite her to the celebrations in Canterlot.”

“Where?”

“Canterlot,” William repeated himself wearily. “I have never actually been there myself, as the last Summer Sun Celebration I had a ‘sitter’ because I was ‘ill’,” he spat contemptuously, making air quotes and nearly clawing the empty space before him as he walked.

“Hoo, where did that come from?” Eris cocked an eyebrow at his sudden burst of venomousness.

“It was just an excuse,” he cleared his throat and jammed his hands in his pockets grumpily. “It was because Mother and Miss Pie didn’t want me along for the party. They were gone until four in the morning!”

“Sounds tragic,” Eris mumbled sarcastically. “Really.”

“I’m old enough to stay up that late!” he demanded somewhat childishly. “Regardless, history shall not repeat itself.”

“Because you get to go to this shindig?” she asked with utter disinterest, eyeing a pair of bluebirds singing cheerfully in a tree above them.

“No,” William grinned in a manner that almost made Eris feel slightly uncomfortable. “Because they’re never getting another sitter.”

Eris couldn’t quite bring herself to ask why.

0-0-0-0-0

By the time that they finally reached the ‘headquarters’ of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, William was thoroughly certain that Eris was determined to talk his ears off. It was an entirely one sided conversation, with no semblance of logic or reason – merely rambling, pointless story after story, most of which involved explosions.

He was nearly ready to jam his fingers in his ears when he spotted Scootaloo’s trademark scooter sitting just beside the old treehouse, and he elatedly darted up the ramp as Eris groaned.

“Seriously, here again?” she rolled her shoulders. “If ‘show Eris the sights’ means ‘the same frickin’ thing over and over’, then I think I’d rather go back to napping.”

William refrained from making any snide remarks and repeated the ‘secret knock’ of the CMC.

Which, essentially, was just knocking three times.

“Password?” he heard Sweetie Belle’s familiar voice from within.

“There is no password,” William deadpanned, and the wooden door swung open swiftly.

“That’s the password!” the unicorn greeted him cheerfully. William welcomed the cool shade, and was eventually followed by Eris.

“… Where’s Scootaloo?” he asked, Apple Bloom turning away from the map she was struggling to pin to one of the walls to answer.

“Efth thethle ‘thi whi eeh,” she said through a mouthful of tacks, and William cringed and flinched with every word. Miraculously, she managed to spit them out without harming herself, and William allowed himself to breathe again.

“She was outside with Diamond Tiara,” Sweetie explained, helping Apple Bloom with the last corner of the map of a place William had never seen, that looked as if it had all been done with cheap paint. “Did she leave?”

“I don’t think so,” Apple Bloom peered out the window, but William didn’t hear her. He was already starting back for the door when a surprisingly pink cheeked Scootaloo shuffled in, nearly bowling him over.

“Oh, there you are!” William perked up immediately, barely registering the smirking filly behind Scootaloo. “I’m glad we caught up, the Summer Sun Celeb-”

“Hey, are you Diamond Tiara?” Eris butted in before he could finish, draping her tail over William’s shoulder and pushing him a little out of the way. The filly behind Scootaloo stared long and hard at the draconequus, and frowned.

“Who’s asking?” she blew a tuft of light purple and white mane from her face haughtily, and Scootaloo swiftly ducked out of the way.

“Willy’s sister!” Eris stuck out a paw genially with a huge smile. “He says you’re cute.”

“Eris!”

William threw off the unexpectedly heavy draconequus, his face growing as red as Scootaloo’s was. Determined not to allow Eris to repeat her stunt from before, William quickly tried to take control.

“Ignore her,” William straightened his shirt. “She’s quoting out of context, Eris is my apparently adopted sister, don’t trust anything she says.”

“Hey!”

“I’m only here to cordially invite Miss Scootaloo to the Summer Sun Celebration,” he carried on as if he hadn’t heard Eris’s exclamation, turning to the pegasus. “I merely wished to ask if you would care to attend the festivities this evening in Canterlot. Transportation has already been arranged-”

“O-oh…” Scootaloo shifted somewhat guiltily, rubbing her foreleg uncomfortably. “Um… well-well, you see, I, uh…”

“Scootaloo is already going with somepony,” Diamond Tiara snickered, earning a couple of level glares from Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.

And just like that, the bottom dropped out of William’s stomach. It was like he had been gut punched, turning in a startlingly painful knot that was difficult to ignore.

“Completely understandable.” William nodded a single time and left without another word. The door quietly latched shut behind him, before he reopened it and asked “Wait, how are you getting to Canterlot?”

“Because she’s going with me and daddy,” Diamond Tiara smirked, which only caused William’s gawking of confusion to melt into one of expressionless, empty stare.

“… Right, then. Leaving now.”

0-0-0-0-0

The train whistle pierced the air, shrieking like a wild bird as William was once again tempted to plug his ears. The hustle and bustle of ponies milling about for entry to the long metal serpent quickly rose again as the whistling died, painted carriages along the tracks gradually being filled by passengers.

William was swiftly jostled along by Pinkie Pie, and he nearly tripped on the steps onto the train as Rainbow Dash presented tickets.

“I call a window seat!” Eris shouted, nearly clambering over William in the process of boarding the train.

Although William felt like he should have been looking forward to the festivities, he couldn’t quite seem to shake off the gloomy air that hung over him. It seemed so utterly outlandish to him, that Scootaloo wouldn’t be attending with him – he had everything planned out to the letter, was so sure that everything would go exactly as planned that he couldn’t really comprehend it when it so obviously failed.

And it might not have, if it hadn’t been for Eris.

A lowly roiling anger began bubbling up inside of him, which he was distracted from by none other than Twilight Sparkle.

“All in one carriage?” the violet mare asked him cheerfully, looking about at her friends as they chattered and settled in. “Hello, William. Anticipating the Summer Sun Celebration, I presume?”

“Positively, Miss Sparkle,” William answered completely joylessly, forcing himself not to stare at her wings. It didn’t matter what any of the others told him, the fact that any pony could simply attain extra body parts seemed absolutely horrifying to him.

“Oh, I’m sure that you’re going to have a great time!” Twilight said chipperly as she shifted into a seat next to Spike, the small drake that served as her ‘number one assistant’. “It’s a shame that you missed the last one; you look to be pretty healthy this year!”

If anything, William resembled a pale spider, decked in black with a horrendously spotted blue tie that Pinkie Pie had forced him to wear. ‘Healthy’ was usually one of the last things anyone could think when looking at William, probably right before ‘pleasant’ or ‘cheerful’. Twilight was distracted before long by the seemingly overexcited draconequus shimmying about the cabin, nosing her way into everyone’s business. It was almost amusing, watching Twilight trying and failing to glean any information from Eris for nearly a full ten minutes before giving up on the impossible.

It was a tortuously long ride to Canterlot, William found. The train chugged along with a steady speed, powering through tunnels and further up the mountainside toward the capital city, and William silently watched trees and homes pass by without a word. It was almost peaceful, he thought vaguely to himself as he lost himself in thought. Therapeutic, in a strange way, watching the entire world go by piece by piece.

Eris plopped into the empty seat behind him, leaning forward and whispering into his ear and causing him to jump.

“What’cha thinkin’ about?”

“Don’t do that,” William grumbled, rubbing his ear. He almost turned to Rainbow Dash, but she was fast asleep next to a drowsily content Pinkie Pie.

“Yeesh,” Eris tittered. “Who stuck a bee in your undies?”

“Nothing.” He resumed staring out the window as they passed into another tunnel, darkness overtaking the cabin once more as the sun vanished from view. “There are no bees in my underpants.”

“Hmm. Mind if I check?” she responded coyly into his ear, and when the train left the tunnel, one would have guessed that William were sunburned for the redness on his face.

0-0-0-0-0

“Almost there, almost there, almost there…!” Pinkie Pie pranced back and forth excitedly, watching the stage set up in the center of the city’s square where the princesses would soon kick off the celebrations.

“Christ, save if for the bedroom.” Eris rolled her eyes, but went unheard by all but William and Rainbow Dash.

“And the kitchen table,” Dash snickered quietly behind her hoof.

“Dude, ew!”

William ignored them all, sticking close to Rainbow Dash’s side and watching for when the princesses would inevitably set upon the stage, which was easily twice as high as a standard pony. It bore numerous slits in the sides, each darkened vertical slot hiding something that shimmered slightly within. From what he could see of the three opulently decorated pillars on the stage, decorated with a sun, a moon, and a single star, William guessed that each one was reminiscent of each princess.

He still thought it odd that any princess would continue to literally live in a tree, but that was Twilight’s prerogative. Ponies of all sorts milled about, eagerly gathering around the stage.

“Citizens of Equestria,” William spotted Twilight Sparkle trotting cheerfully up to the center of the stage, her magically amplified voice covering a much larger portion of the area. “We are proud to announce the annual Summer Sun Celebration…”

William tried his best to listen to Twilight’s obviously planned speech, but was continuously distracted by Eris, who drew his attention from the corner of his eye. It took him a moment to realize that she had been slowly inching away the entire time, and he blinked in surprise.

“Psst!” she hissed at him while the attention of the crowd was elsewhere. She beckoned him forward, whispering “Come on!”

“Where are you going?” William whispered back, and she feigned deafness by cupping a paw over one ear. William tentatively looked back to Pinkie and Dash, who were absorbed in the display where another figure was approaching the stage. She was one that William had never personally seen, a deep cobalt alicorn with a shining black tiara and elegantly waving mane that almost seemed as if stars were hiding in it. He tore his gaze away, frantically trying to usher Eris back before anything drastic occurred.

“Eris!” William hissed, slipping past a couple of disgruntled stallions to catch up to her. “Eris, come back! We’re going to get in trouble!”

“Aw, come on!” the draconequus giggled as she approached a small side entrance to the stage, ducking down and slithering in before he could stop her. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“I don’t have a sense of adventure!” William retorted angrily as he trailed after her, and she stayed constantly out of his reach with her tail tip bobbing maddeningly before him like a fishing lure. He ducked beneath a couple of hanging beams that supported the stage as he anxiously tried to convince her to return. “What are you even doing?”

It took William nearly a full beat to realize that it was remarkably similar to a fishing lure, and that she had just outwitted him apparently without effort.

“Doing?” Eris grinned mischievously. “Playing with fireworks, of course!”

“There aren’t any fireworks, let’s get out before we get in trouble!” he shot back, the sound above them nearly drowning out his words.

Eris smiled wider, alighting a single solitary spark above one talon and revealing what were indeed a large supply of fireworks, all lined up before the slits in the stage and angled to go upwards at some point.

“… Why on earth isn’t anyone guarding these?” William stared at the impressive collection in genuine shock.

“They’re probably all set to go off magically,” the draconequus scratched her chin, nearly setting her face on fire in the process. She quickly flicked the tiny blue flame into the air, where it hung innocently. “That way they can ensure the timing.”

“That’s not important,” William threw a look over his shoulder nervously, almost positive that at any moment someone would reprimand him for sneaking beneath the stage. “We need to go, we need to go now!”

Eris snorted, and said “Or what? Are you chicken now?”

“What? No, these are highly explosive!” William pointed to one of the particularly large rockets, worriedly glancing back to the little blue flame. “There’s probably nobody under here because someone could get hurt when these go –”

William never got to finish his sentence, as every single firework around them spontaneously went off with deafening roars. William was blinded by flaring light and couldn’t hear anything except the earsplitting boom of dozens upon dozens of bulbous fireworks blasting off and exploding around him. He was thrown violently to the ground by a force from his side, and could only cover his head and instinctively curl up into a ball before the world went black.

0-0-0-0-0

“That was awesome!” Eris cheered jubilantly as she erupted from the rubble, William clinging in terror to her stomach.

“… I’m-I’m alive?” he released her swiftly, his shaking hands as much as the rest of his body, patting himself down as if he couldn’t believe it himself. “We’re alive! I’m alive!”

And it was then that William’s overjoyed shouts of elation from merely being alive left him when he finally realized that he and Eris were the sole focus of thousands of ponies, all of which held them in a spotlight as gunpowder fogged the air around them.

“… We’re so dead,” Eris breathed as they were rapidly drawn from the debris by unseen hands, dropping them both rather brusquely before someone that William had only met once before, and very briefly. However, she still remained just as impressive, and seemed even more towering and significantly more terrifying this time around.

“My, my. It would appear that Discord has been entertaining some rather exotic tastes,” Princess Celestia gave a level glare at the stunned draconequus.

0-0-0-0-0

Say We're Only Dreaming

0-0-0-0-0

“Do you have any idea of just how much trouble we’re in?” William moaned bitterly through his fingers, tiredly covering his eyes. The little room that they had been quickly escorted to in the palace by a small battalion of guards felt more like a broom closet than a temporary holding room, but William couldn’t tell the difference. The only thing that really occurred to him was that Rainbow Dash was going to put her hoof through his skull.

And that was after the princesses were going to throw them into prison for life.

The dim lighting didn’t help matters at all, and the pair of wooden chairs that had been provided for them made it seem almost like an interrogation room.

“Yep,” Eris rolled her neck beside him, eliciting a couple of painful sounding cracks. “We’re in trouble. As per usual.”

“As per usual?!” William glowered at her, heat stinging his eyes as he tried to fight back panic. He was too young to spend the rest of his life in a dungeon, wasn’t he?

“Chill out, dude,” she actually cringed when she saw that he really was on the verge of crying, and shifted a little in her seat before turning her attention back to the locked wooden door. “I said I was sorry, alright?”

William wanted to tear down her pitiful apology, he wanted to rage and reprimand her and release his pent up frustration of everything that seemed to be spiraling downward in the past few days. William wanted vindication.

And the more he saw the burns and numerous still bleeding and amateurishly bandaged cuts along the draconequus, the swifter his anger leaked away. It was unfair, how guilty she made him feel when he wanted to be angry.

And yet, if it hadn’t been for Eris throwing herself on top of him and accepting the brunt of the damage, William would undoubtedly be in much worse condition than even she was now. He had walked away with hardly a scratch, whereas she looked like she had just finished crawling out of a furnace. And, even stranger, seemed to be displaying absolutely no symptoms of shellshock.

But he could have died, he vaguely reminded himself.

And, upon that thought, so could have Eris.

In fact, she might have nearly died, and William knew stark little about her, save her name.

“… Dude, if you don’t quit staring at me like that, I’m gonna get really freaked out.”

William shook his head slowly, a pounding headache growing between his eyes. He let out a long, slow whistling breath of weariness and despair, and was left staring despondently at his twiddling thumbs as what felt like hours ticked by. The minutes crawled at a snail’s pace, ever so slowly passing with such a leisurely inching that William wasn’t quite certain if he had fallen asleep a few times or not.

Each time he felt himself drifting off, he jerked himself back to reality, nearly falling out of the chair when he did so.

William wasn’t quite certain at what point his head had been silently shifted over into Eris’s lap, or when he had fallen asleep for such a thing to occur; he did, however, vividly remember awakening with a jolt to discover Eris’s paw running gently through a few strands of his hair. She stroked his head slowly as she hummed a soft and bizarrely familiar but unnamable little tune.

William found himself much more awake and alert shortly afterwards.

He guessed that the main event of the festivities with the princesses was over by the time the pair of them entered the room.

There was a commotion of jostling and clanking armor just outside, which was rapidly followed by the door being yanked open to allow the entrance of Princess Celestia herself. It wasn’t clear from her serene look just what she was thinking, which befuddled William. The cobalt mare that he had seen before, who trailed closely behind Celestia, seemed significantly more disgruntled than her elder sister.

“Thank you, Steel Spear,” Celestia nodded to the pegasus guard, who bowed deeply in return. “You may depart.”

“Right away, Princess,” he bowed out swiftly, and the door behind the pair of princesses slowly snapped shut, leaving Eris and William sitting uncomfortably before their watchful stares.

“… Well, that certainly shook things up a little,” Celestia looked back and forth between the guilty couple, and William couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eyes.

“Thou art – you are fortunate that death did not besiege you both.” Luna seemed nearly livid, but in such a way that was so tightly compacted, so forcefully controlled that it startled William, even though she barely raised her voice above a whisper.

“Do either of you realize just how much of a panic was caused tonight?” the porcelain alicorn ruffled her wings a little, beginning to pace back and forth in front of the silent duo. “Not to mention just how worried you made some certain ponies, or that one of them is crying her eyes out in the room next to you?”

William’s head darted up so sharply that Eris thought she heard it crack.

Gone was the last vestige of his anger, and he didn’t even appear to be all that concerned about the ensuing punishment. If anything, William looked absolutely horrified. All color began draining from his face and down his neck, and a thin, cold sweat began trickling over the back of his neck.

“There shall be ramifications for thine actions,” Princess Luna threatened quietly, giving Eris a stern, flat stare. “To interrupt the Summer Sun Celebration, of all things, injuring both thyself and another!”

“Lu-”

“And then,” Luna grew louder, glancing over at her sister before turning her ire back to the ashamed draconequus. “Then, you have the audacity to insinuate that the fears of thousands of ponies are for naught?”

“You are both remarkably fortunate,” Celestia added patiently. “The first assumption was that an attempt had been made on the royal family.”

“Do either of you know the penalty for assault on royalty?” the princess of the night inquired almost noiselessly, and this time it was Eris who looked as if she were going to be sick.

“I’m sorry.”

It was the first that either of them had spoken in quite a while, and all three heads turned to William’s throaty croak.

“It-it was my fault,” he strained to clear his throat, suddenly less confident now that they were all watching him. Eris particularly so, with a flabbergasted look on her face. “It’s… all my fault. I-I talked Eris into sneaking into the fireworks hold with me. If it hadn’t been for her, I-I wouldn’t even be alive.”

“… Is that so,” Celestia mumbled quietly, looking back and forth between the boy and the stunned draconequus with an expressionless, almost hawkish gaze.

“Yes,” William nodded, unable to look her in the face any longer. “It’s true. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault, Eris was just dragged along be-because I had an… insatiable sense of adventure.”

For a split second, William felt as if Princess Celestia viewed him as a piece of glass. Like she could see right through his lies, and she were silently judging and weighing him for spouting such atrocious falsehoods. Heat blossomed into his face, and it took everything he had not to backpedal quickly and renounce himself, which disturbed him even more so.

It was not often that William had difficulty lying. Perhaps it caused him such anxiety because of the punishment hanging over him if he were found out, if the stakes were the only thing making him quiver.

Or perhaps, it was something that he didn’t quite fully understand, and this revelation shook him so deeply that he really did begin to tell the truth. No sooner had he opened his mouth, however, than Princess Celestia nodded again, and he literally had to bite his tongue to keep from speaking.

“Very well,” she stated eventually, breaking the horrid silence. “Then you fully accept the consequences of your actions, William Zachariah Klaskovsky?”

He nearly asked how she even knew his full name, but he only swallowed hard and bowed his head.

“Oh, surely you aren’t going to have him executed?” Luna asked with a little sly wink to her sister. William, however, nearly passed out.

“Hm. I don’t know,” Celestia answered agonizingly slowly, her face blank. “That does seem a little harsh. Surely exile would be a more fitting punishment for such a grievous assault?”

“Now-now hold on a minute!” Eris blurted nervously, mismatched eyes flicking back to each princess.

“I believe that punishment can be postponed,” Luna said wryly, magically opening the door. “For now, the hour has grown late, and my duties call. Sister, wouldst thou join me as the ‘rapscallions’ are allowed entrance to their guardians?”

“I think Twilight can handle the rest of the celebration by herself for now,” she grinned coyly as she stalked after Luna. “She’ll wish to hold audience with us shortly. But it has been a while since a good old fashioned beheading occurred in Canterlot, don’t you think?”

And with that, Celestia and Luna trailed off down the enormous opulent hallways side by side.

“Tia,” Luna struggled against her intense snickering as they passed a trio of stalwart guards. “That was unnecessarily cruel. We are terrible. Whatever happened to banning cruel and unusual punishment?”

“In my defense,” Celestia placed a single gilded hoof over her chest as she walked, nodding politely to the head maid she passed by. “We have a clearly long family tree of less than reputable kind.”

“Oh, certainly,” her younger sister giggled. “If by that, you mean that we are obviously the descendants of trolls.”

0-0-0-0-0

“William!”

William grunted in surprise when Scootaloo flung herself forcefully around his neck as they wordlessly entered the room similar to the first, albeit decorated with numerous art pieces. He vainly attempted to pry the pegasus from around him for a bare moment, before he saw the venomous glares being shot their way by Rainbow Dash. Oddly, he felt a little as if keeping Scootaloo between them as a shield would be a superior idea.

“Do you have any idea…?!” Rainbow Dash stood warily, marching toward them with fire in her eyes. Pinkie Pie laid a single hoof on her flank and stalled her for a moment, as Dash had not initially spotted the shadows lurking a little behind William and Eris.

“Miss Scootaloo, you’re choking me,” William gasped breathily as she finally released him, and he was a little surprised to see a relieved looking Diamond Tiara along with her father, Filthy Rich. The stallion himself just looked worn down and tired, as William expected anyone would if they had to spend that much time around the spoiled filly.

“You’re lucky somepony wasn’t killed,” Pinkie Pie scolded William in an unexpectedly angry tone, and William could tell from the blotchiness of her eyes that she had apparently been the one Celestia implied was crying.

“Were you trying to blow my son up?” Dash glowered viciously at Eris, who didn’t have time to reply before William spoke up.

“Yeah, I’d blow-”

“It was not her fault, Mother,” William stated quietly, which seemed to shock Rainbow Dash. “I led her away, and then I set off the fireworks by-by accident.”

“And as such,” Celestia butted in from behind him, causing him to jump nearly a foot off the pristine and polished floor in surprise. “We have come to a conclusion as to how the punishment shall be served for such irresponsible and foalish actions.”

William stepped out of their way and hanged his head, hardly able to breathe anymore. Not a single soul in the room could be heard so much as breathing at all, and it grew so silent that one could have heard a pin drop. Scootaloo stared at them in anticipation, looking as if she were ready to cower behind Pinkie Pie again.

“Luna,” William was grateful when Celestia finally broke the silence. “Precisely how much work and effort was put into the Summer Sun Celebration?”

“Quite a lot, Celestia,” she replied emotionlessly, looking around the room. “Why, I would dare say that several thousand bits worth of property was destroyed tonight…”

Rainbow Dash paled when Luna’s cold gaze settled over her, and her wings clamped tightly to her sides.

To everyone’s surprise, it was Eris who stepped forward.

“Oh, puh-lease,” she rolled her eyes cheerfully. “So, It’s just some ching ching and bling you’re worried about? I got this.” Eris took a deep breath, rolled her shoulders and craned her neck to speak directly into the air.

“YO, DADDY!”

All eyes stayed on Eris for nearly an entire minute, in which it slowly became apparent that absolutely nothing was going to happen.

“… Da-dad?” Eris asked loudly to no one again. “Hey, need some help, here! Dad? Uh… Dad!”

“I don’t believe that Discord is going to come to your aid, Eris,” Celestia stated with a miniscule and somehow still peaceful smile.

“And I don’t believe we’ve actually been introduced, Sun Butt,” she eyed the large Cutie Mark on the princess’s flank.

It was at that point that Rainbow Dash started wisely backing away from Eris.

“Discord was kind enough to explain things in full when he… visited,” Celestia started a bit awkwardly, only to be cut off by Luna.

“He turned my royal bedchambers into a glowing swamp!”

Eris laughed hysterically, and swiftly stopped when Luna’s death-glare settled on her instead.

“Discord was here?” Dash asked curiously, turning to Princess Celestia. “What? Why? When? What exactly did he say?”

“Much of what was said,” Luna deadpanned, “would be considered horridly impolite for any mare to repeat at all, let alone in the company of subjects. He did, however, make multiple references to ‘wars in the stars’.”

Eris found this equally hilarious, and had even more difficulty stifling her laughter than the last time.

“You do realize that you are expected to pay for the damages caused, correct?” the princess of the sun turned to the sniggering draconequus, who again began to cease her laughter with abruptness.

“I, uh… I don’t actually have, you know…” Eris shrugged, patting imaginary pockets. “Money.”

“Considering that you were exempt from this discussion on the grounds of being a supposedly unwilling participant,” Celestia said calmly to the increasingly uncomfortable Eris. “One could reasonably assume that I was speaking to the young Klaskovsky.”

William thought his knees were going to buckle, but forced himself to stand straight.

“Well…”

The majority of the room’s inhabitants seemed to have completely forgotten that Diamond Tiara and her father were even there at all, tucked away in the corner as they were. Even Scootaloo seemed surprised, and she was standing with them.

“Daddy, we could cover the costs, couldn’t we?” the filly asked evenly, as if she were discussing the weather.

“Oh, I would be happy, Princess –” Filthy Rich began, but stopped himself short when Celestia slowly shook her head.

“I would ask no such thing of you, Rich,” Celestia smiled kindly, which seemed to make the stallion horribly uneasy for some reason. “No, that would completely defeat the purpose if somepony else were to do that.”

“So how-how am I expected to pay back for the damages?” William asked weakly, desperately wishing that he had been ‘ill’ this year instead.

“Well,” Princess Luna leaned toward him with the same serene grin as her sister. “I’m certain that years of hard labor could pay for the immense damages caused.” William nearly collapsed from the sheer dejection, certain that his short life was already over.

If anyone had been looking closely, they probably could have seen Celestia subtly poking her sister in the side.

“Or,” Celestia added calmly with a small wink to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. “Or, one summer month of assisting the palace servants in maintaining a cleanly atmosphere.”

Not a single one of them blinked as Celestia spoke, and shrugged shortly afterwards.

“… We have very well paid maids,” she explained bluntly.

“You know,” Pinkie nodded slowly, her throat dry. “I think that might be a good idea.”

“A-a whole month, huh…” Dash started weakly, torn as she was looking back and forth between the fidgeting boy and the princess. “Don’t you think he’s a-a little young for-for…”

“Mother,” William cleared his throat and clasped his hands behind his back, standing up straight. “I have fully accepted responsibility for my actions, and as such shall attempt to rectify the damage caused by whatever means at my disposal. I will not shirk obligation to do so. I am not a child.”

“Yes, you are,” Dash pulled him into a tight, warm hug with her wings, softly rubbing the top of his head with her chin and whispered “… So grown up. My little colt. Just like your father. So much like your father.”

William eventually pried away from Rainbow Dash an eternity later, self-conscious that everyone’s eyes were on him again as the hug lasted a far too long. He cleared his throat again, and asked “Will I... be allowed to gather a change of clothes first?”

“Very well,” Celestia smiled knowingly down at him before starting away with Luna by her side. “The arrangements shall be made for transportation tomorrow. Unless you would rather somepony fetch them?”

“No,” he shook his head fiercely, looking back to Dash. “I’ll-I have to get them myself.”

0-0-0-0-0

“And don’t touch the begonias in the back yard,” William droned on to the bored draconequus, who lay sprawled on his bed with her head draping off and resting on the floor upside down as he packed. “I’m uncertain if they’re a specific Equestrian variety, but they’re very fragile. The roses need special attention, I have plant mix prepared for those – and the morning glories!” he snapped his fingers as he slammed his small brown trunk shut.

“What is it with you and plants?” Eris yawned, stretching.

“… I like flowers,” he deadpanned. “I have an especial interest in botany. I always have,” William ensured that the small bookshelf beside his bed was pristine before latching the trunk firmly. “Usually nobody bothers asking. Where did I…?” he trailed off, furrowing his brows.

“Looking for these?” Eris dangled a pair of bright blue underwear before him, which he snatched away in embarrassment before jamming them in his trunk quickly.

“Kindly just ensure that my garden is taken care of,” William glowered at her sulkily. “I’d rather not come back in a month to discover that my babies have been starved to death.”

Eris snorted, and rolled her eyes.

“Babies? Oh, come on,” she snickered. “They’re plants. Not even the sentient kind. They’ll be fine.”

William started to retort, but looked back at her thoughtfully.

“There are sentient plants?” he blinked, uncertain if she was toying with him or not. He found it difficult to tell when she was simply making something up. Then again, William also had difficulty differentiating when someone was trying to tell him a joke, which seriously dismayed Pinkie Pie on numerous occasions.

“Oh, here and there,” Eris drawled conversationally.

William paused for a moment, before digging something out of his trunk and placing it in Eris’s paw.

“What’s this?” she peered at the earplugs curiously, cocking an eyebrow. “What do I need these for?”

“Mice.”

“Mice?” Eris blinked.

“… Yes,” William answered slowly. “… Mice.”

“You ready?” Rainbow Dash stuck her head in through his bedroom doorway, anxiously watching him. “The-the ride is here.”

Without another word, William picked up his small trunk, gave a small peck on the cheek to Rainbow Dash, and started out the door. She even started after him with an odd look in her eyes, but was stopped by Pinkie Pie.

“Pinks, I-”

“He’ll be fine,” she hummed soothingly into Dash’s ear. “They’ll be back before you know it.”

Rainbow Dash shook her head slowly, watching him go with a forlorn, sad expression that took every ounce of William’s self-control not to look at. Scootaloo still waited outside, nearly prancing back and forth as she waited for him to finally return.

“Promise you’ll write? You’ll write, right?” the orange pegasus followed him as he faltered and marched warily to the unsettlingly open chariot, looking back and forth between the pair of winged guards intended to pull it.

“… Oh, dear,” William blurted suddenly, backing away from the chariot. “I believe I’ll go back home now.”

“Homes are for hobos!” Eris yanked him along, causing him to jump. He yelped in surprise as she dragged him onto the wooden floor of the chariot, whereupon they started forward at a breakneck pace.

“Wait, stop!” William struggled uselessly, eventually clinging to the steel and wooden wheeled vehicle until his fingers went numb, but the chariot did not stop. Instead, they traveled even faster, which seemed to thrill Eris. "Stop, why are you even -?"

“Aw, relax! It’s a free ride, quit twitching.” the draconequus patted the terrified boy on the back as the rumbling nightmare machine did the worst possible thing it could have. In William’s opinion, that is.

It started rising into the air.

“Go back down!” William shrieked in panic, adhering with all his might to the chariot as they rose higher and higher. “Oh god, I’m sorry I blew up the fireworks I’ll never do it again go down go down go down go down-!”

The stallions pulling the chariot actually turned back to see the wide eyed screaming boy stricken with fear as they strode effortlessly over a large cloud, only to see the ecstatic Eris rapidly shaking her head back and forth.

“Y’alright there, tiny?” Eris grinned down at him, throwing her tail leisurely over his shoulder. “Looking a little green around the gills.”

If anything, William looked to be a more ill, pale grey than green, but he obviously wasn’t arguing.

He clenched his eyes tightly shut, squeezing the rattling chariot with all his might and desperately trying not to look down. William clenched the chariot so tightly that he began to lose feeling in his fingertips, and he was suddenly besieged by horrible thoughts of what would happen if he let go.

“Give me your hand.”

“What?” William forced one eye open to steal a peek at the surprisingly serious draconequus, who kneeled beside him.

“Give me your hand,” Eris repeated herself quietly, but loudly enough to make herself heard over the wind. “It’s totally safe. Just give me your hand, okay?”

He shook his head viciously, clinging tighter to the shaking chariot and squeezing his eyes shut.

Perhaps it was just the wind, but it sounded quite a bit like Eris sighed rather heavily before wrapping her tail in a winding fashion up his midriff. He automatically grabbed ahold of her, the mad fear that she was about to toss him off causing his heart to beat against his ribcage wildly.

“If you don’t quit squeezing my tail like that,” Eris chortled, “It’s going to fall off. Just chillax and take in the scenery, would you?”

“I don’t want to take in the damned scenery!” William swore, clutching her all the more tightly. “I want to be back on the ground! The nice, solid, safe ground!”

“What happened to your sense of ‘adventure’?” she cackled good naturedly. “Come on, look that nimbus, that stratosphere… cloud! Thing!”

“Actually, that’s a cirrocumulus,” one of the stallions called back, to which Eris was quick to drown him out by belting obnoxiously off key singing.

“NO ONE TO TELL US N~O, OR WHE~RE TO GO-”

“And that one’s a stratus, and that one’s an alto…”

“Why do they all sound Latin if the language is based on pre-Eastern ancient Romane?” William screeched even more loudly.

“OR SAY WE’RE ON~LY DREAMING, A WHOLE NEW WO~OO~ORLD! A NEW FA~NTA~STIC POINT OF VIEW!”

0-0-0-0-0

Equestrian Daydream

0-0-0-0-0

“See?” Eris pointed toward the shining city of Canterlot. “This isn’t so bad, is it, tiny?”

William had difficulty responding, as he was busy violently retching over the side of the chariot.

One of the stallions pulling the wheeled machine actually looked to be nearly as sick as William, although for very different reasons. If anything, he seemed to be outright disgusted by the apparently steady stream of bile being blasted onto the side of the chariot.

“I am not cleaning that, by the way,” Eris deadpanned, slowly dragging the moaning boy away and toward the palace. The striking towers and battlements standing out against the sky gave the entire structure a significantly intimidating appearance, like a looming stone dragon.

“All done there, tiny?” Eris slapped the unfortunate boy on the back a couple of times, to which he hiccupped miserably into a handkerchief.

“Kill me,” he whimpered. “It would be a kindness, I assure you.”

“Ah, buck up!” she said in an optimistic tone that only caused William to shoot her a vicious look as she nearly dragged him up the enormous steps. “Just a little airsick, you’ll be fine.”

William threw up again.

“Eventually.”

“Oi!”

Eris turned her head sharply, spotting the yellow and grey flecked mane of the head maid.

“Oh, hey!” she waved cheerfully. “Lookie, we totally didn’t bail!”

William finally managed to clean himself up as best as possible with what he had, being the thin handkerchief. Careful to make himself slightly more presentable, he stood shakily before the tan mare that inspected the two of them with keen yellow eyes. A Cutie Mark adorned her flank of a bright ribbon that looped around, curling in on itself in a figure eight.

“I suppose the two of you are the replacements?” the prim mare asked with a hint of disgust as she looked at William. He cautiously dabbed at his face again in embarrassment, suddenly self-conscious once again.

“I guess,” Eris shrugged, slapping William on the back again. “I think Willy’s got somethin’, though. Oh well, guess we can’t do anything today-!”

The draconequus stopped short when she saw the look of near contempt from the mare, who let out a long, slow breath through her nostrils.

“There will be no shirking of duties or responsibilities of any sort. Am I clear?” she asked in an icy tone, and William was surprised to see Eris actually a little intimidated.

“Yea- Yes’m.” Eris nodded sharply.

“Wonderful,” the mare stated joylessly before turning to William. “You must be the… William.”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied weakly.

“You are to refer to me as either Missus Trimming or Head Maid, always conjoined with ma’am or sir. Am I understood?”

“I don’t get it,” Eris blinked. “Ma’am or sir? So, you’re, like... a lady-dude?”

Had Eris been listening, she would have heard William’s high but sharp intake of breath that is usually associated with one being incapable of preventing another from saying something that probably should have not been said.

And Eris could have sworn that she heard Trimming’s neck creak when she turned.

“Your uniforms are awaiting you in the maid’s quarters,” she said through her teeth, clearly restraining herself with difficulty. She eyed the mess that William had left, and drew up an inwardly turned hoof. “And clean up that… that. Clean that up before getting your filthy hooves all over the place. You’ll receive further orders afterwards.”

“But we don’t have ho-”

“Right away, Missus Trimming,” William cleared his throat uncomfortably over Eris before the older mare could be infuriated even more, and the mare gave a slight sniff of disapproval before turning sharply and marching up the steps.

“What?” Eris shrugged and muttered under her breath. William dragged himself after the head maid bitterly, ensured that his stay at the rather opulent palace would not be a pleasant one.

“Eris,” William retorted quietly. “Please stop saying things.”

0-0-0-0-0

“You know,” Eris held up the laced skirt of the unluckily frilly black and white uniform and turned it over. “These really don’t look so bad.”

“I beg to differ,” William frowned in distaste, holding up another between two fingers at arm’s length, as if it were an angry scorpion. “These abominations are horrendously stereotypical.”

Trimming cleared her throat with a loud Eh-hem and made him jump, the dim lighting of the dressing room throwing eerie shadows behind her.

“Er… h-horrendously stereotypical… ma’am?” he corrected himself weakly before laying it back onto the small wooden table. “If I may ask, um, Miss Trimming-”

“Missus Trimming,” the head maid rectified him flatly, her identical uniform almost seeming to bristle with her attitude.

“Missus Trimming. Um, where exactly do I find a-a uniform for myself?”

“You just dropped it,” her eyes flicked to the uniform on the table.

Eris cackled manically, clearly enjoying the outright horrified look on William’s face.

“Oh, come on, Willy!” she sniggered, her shoulders shaking. “They look ni~ce! LOOK AT THE FRIGGIN’ LACE.”

“Exactly! Lace!” he held up the clothing in blatant loathing. “This-this isn’t boy’s clothes!”

“Well I hope you get used to it,” Trimming deadpanned. “Because that’s what you’re wearing for the next month.”

“But why-?”

William was startled by the speed with which the mare moved, so fast that she nearly shifted in front of him. Up close, she loomed even more menacingly over him with an odd gleam in her eyes.

“Because I said so.”

Trimming didn’t even have to raise her voice, but the hair on the back of his neck stood up all the same.

“Yuh-yes-amn-m ma’am,” he spluttered quickly, holding the uniform in front of himself defensively. Eris, while previously seeming to enjoy William’s discomfort, seemed relatively unnerved by the head maid’s action. Something just a little off that she couldn’t quite put her talon on.

Something wrong with the eyes.

“First things first,” Eris interrupted, holding up a paw. “I don’t do windows.”

0-0-0-0-0

Hours.

Minutes ticked by into hours, and they did so with a dreadful slowness that was agonizing to experience. For William, anyway. Eris seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself.

“Whee!” she slid down the enormous stained glass window, skating on large yellow sponges. William watched in constant trepidation that she would break it, but she slid up and down it as if she were skating on ice.

“I thought you said you didn’t do windows?” William called up to her as she spun around, beginning her descent to the bottom where he scrubbed in small, neat circles.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t wear a dress?” Eris stopped jarringly a foot above him, resting her ‘hands’ on her hips with a grin.

William heatedly jammed the sponge back into the wooden bucket, cold water sloshing up his arm and onto the floor.

“It is not a dress!” he argued in a frenzy. Eris slithered down the wall and leaned over him with a smirk, paw and claw clasped loosely behind her back. “It is a unisex outfit!”

“With frills,” Eris ruffled her own a little and giggled the brighter the shade of red that he grew. “Face it, Willy. You’re just mad ‘cause you got stuck in fetish fuel.”

“UNI – SEX – OUT – FIT!”

“I think you look kind of cute, to tell the truth,” she teased him, tickling the underside of his chin with her tail.

“The uniforms are rather aesthetically appealing,” Celestia stated calmly behind them both. William jerked and shrieked, knocking over the bucket and clamping his hands tightly over his mouth in one swift motion. Unfortunately, this also meant tasting a large amount of suds, which he was quick to spit out.

If anything, Eris only found this even more hilarious.

“I-I-I, we, she-!” William blubbered, desperately trying to squeeze the life out of the sponge he still clasped. “What are you doing here?”

Celestia stared at him for a full beat, her multihued mane blowing lightly in a nonexistent wind.

“This is my throne room,” she replied bluntly. “I own it.”

“So…” Eris chatted relaxedly, leaning too far back on her heels and somehow managing to refrain from falling over. “Come here often?”

“On occasion, when the fancy strikes me,” the princess deadpanned. “You missed a spot.”

Eris scowled, snatching another sponge from the tipped bucket and flinging it into the air, where it flew around in a couple of circles before smacking wetly against the stained glass, sliding down it all the way to the floor with a long, loud sqwreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak. He could have sworn that the light shifted behind the glass just a little, but it might have just been the shadows.

“Did I get it?” the draconequus crossed her arms, and Celestia raised a single eyebrow.

“I see that Discord did not hold up his end of the bargain,” she mused aloud. “Again. Surprise, surprise.”

“Say what now?” Eris propped up her feet in midair.

Princess Celestia, apparently tiring of her clowning around, flicked her horn and a solitary golden spark rippled off of it.

Eris quickly came crashing to the ground, both shocked and offended.

“If you don’t mind,” Celestia continued calmly as if nothing had happened. “Kindly keep your chaotic tendencies in check for the remainder of your stay. It helps things run more smoothly.”

William watched the display with a combination of confusion and burning curiosity. To his knowledge, Eris might as well have possessed the same godlike qualities that Discord did; what kind of power must Celestia have to disrupt her so easily?

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Eris stood uneasily and dusted herself in a much fouler mood. “How’s it such a pain in your ass, anyway?”

Celestia’s eyes narrowed slightly, but she eventually said “If you had been paying attention,” she nodded toward the sunlight filtering in through the stained glass, which had shifted once more since the last time William had looked at it. “You might have noticed that your particular brand of discordant discharge tends to upset the balance required by harmonious magic.”

“As in?” Eris rolled a paw through the air, obviously agitated that she was being scolded .

“As in you are disrupting daylight hours for everypony in Equestria,” Princess Celestia’s eyes narrowed again dangerously, and William noted that she seemed just a little taller. “Your father was expected to inhibit your natural magical discharges in order to prevent such occurrences.”

It was then that William realized that Celestia was most definitely not simply passing through on a whim, and he berated himself for not understanding sooner.

She wasn’t just inconvenienced by Eris.

She was disturbed by her.

“A’ight, okay, fine,” the draconequus held up her hands defensively, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “I’ll cut it out. Can’t say I can just go cold turkey, though.”

“Thank you kindly for making an effort,” Celestia said expressionlessly, which William watched closely. He silently wondered if she were attempting to hide a sigh of relief, and searched fruitlessly over her face for any sign of weakness or expression that might display what she were thinking. He might have been better off inspecting a doorknob.

“Surely I am not quite that mesmerizing,” Celestia spoke, and William flushed deeply when he realized that he had been staring.

“I apologize, ma’am- er, Princess… ma’am. I lost myself in thought.”

To his surprise, Celestia beamed widely and patted him on the head with one comparatively enormous white wingtip.

“Do try to keep your thoughts in check. The sneaky things tend to run positively rampant when unwatched,” she winked friendlily, and William fought the unexpectedly abrupt urge to smile back at her.

Perhaps it had been the sudden bright smile or the subtle change slipping through in her features, but for a single instant, William was strongly reminded of Pinkie Pie. He honestly couldn’t help but want to grin back at her, and wound up fighting it even more vehemently.

“Willy, dude. Are you having a seizure?”

Celestia hid a small knowing smile of her own, turning on the spot and making her way slowly out of the throne room.

“Keep up the good work, you two.”

Eris waited a full seven seconds until after she had left, watching intensely the entire time.

“… Bitch finally gone?” she muttered, leaning after her and peeking toward the double doors suspiciously.

“I am almost certain that the princess would not appreciate being referred to as such,” William frowned, uncertain of why he had even taken a defensive stance.

“Bwah, who cares?” Eris snickered, throwing up a couple more sponges into the air.

They then hit the ground with a pair of wet splats, and stayed right where they remained. Eris frowned and snapped her talons together a couple of times, eyes nearly bugging out of her head as she snapped again and again.

“… Oh my god. Oh. My. God.”

“Hm. It would appear that the ‘bitch’ in question may have stifled your magical prowess,” William said thoughtfully as Eris fumed, not nearly as perturbed as she was. “Curious. How does that even work, I wonder?”

“She took my snappy-thing!” Eris gaped at the double doors as if Celestia were still there, hurt expression growing on her face. “She-she took my power from me!”

“I’m no expert on magical energy transfer,” William pondered evenly as he set about drying the water from the floor. “But I sincerely doubt that she ‘took’ anything in particular.”

“You mean she killed my…!”

“Also doubtful,” William furrowed his brows, draining the sponge into the bucket, something about the stained glass picking at the back of his mind again. “If anything, I would suppose that some form of magical damper were placed on either your person or the surrounding area, designed solely to suppress chaotic energy.”

Eris scowled, head in her chin sulkily as she kicked one of the sponges across the floor.

“Rather impressive, actually,” he added. “Especially if that was done on the fly. From what I’ve gathered on the study of individual effects generated by unicorn magic, such a feat should be nigh impossible without enormous reserves of equally impressive energy.”

“Blah de blah blah,” Eris slapped a wet sponge against the glass crankily, craning her neck and wondering how they were possibly supposed to reach the high spots now. “Frickin’ princess showing off, that’s all I heard from you.”

William was about to retort with a snappish reply before it finally clicked, what had been bothering him about the windows the entire time.

“… Is that Mother?”

0-0-0-0-0

“Dash.”

Rainbow’s head jerked slightly to the left at Pinkie Pie’s voice, but she resumed staring out the window shortly afterwards. Pouring rain dripped down the sill and over the glass, and her breath fogged it a little. Her head remained firmly in her hooves as she continued to stare out, her breathing slow and heavy as Pinkie Pie sidled into the chair beside her.

“He’s gone, Pinks.”

“Dash…”

“I can’t believe I just let him walk away,” her shoulders sagged as she moaned into her hooves. “Ohh, Celestia. He’s gone, I just let them –”

The pegasus was quieted by Pinkie’s soft touch, hoof over her shoulder as she pulled her closer.

“Look at me. Look-look at me, baby. It’s just for a little bit. Okay?”

“No,” Dash pushed her away bitterly. “No, it’s not. It’s not okay, Pinkie. I… I just let him go…!”

“And I promise – I Pinkie Promise – that things are going to be alright in the end. Right?” Pinkie grinned overly widely, bumping her with her nose. “You’ve gotta stop getting like this over every little thing. It’ll all be okay.”

“… I’m not gonna quit until you quit mo~ping,” Pinkie hummed, bumping her nose again.

“… Cut that out, Pinkie Pie,” Dash failed to stifle her own little grin, and Pinkie ruffled her mane.

“Hey…” she whispered suddenly in Dash’s ear. “Look at it this way. We’ve finally got the house all to our ourselves. For one. Whole. Month.”

“That doesn’t – what are you doing with that whipped cream?” Rainbow Dash squealed.

“BLARGH, I’M CAPTAIN CAKEBEARD, THAT’S WHAT!” Pinkie bellowed, standing on her rear hooves and smearing more cream frosting on her chin. “MIGHTIEST PINK PASTRY PIRATE TO SAIL THE SEVEN-”

She didn’t get any further, as she was promptly tackled by a laughing Rainbow Dash.

Dash rolled with her across the floor, eventually coming to a stop and straddling her. Pinkie blushed slightly beneath the sugary smear, grinning back up at her.

“… Hey. Pinkie.”

“Yeah, Dashie?”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Dash raised an eyebrow seductively, chewing her lower lip.

“That depends. Is this leading up to loud, slow, passionate bedroom sex or fast, hard, crying in the middle angry living room sex?”

“Let’s do both.”

“…’Kay?” Pinkie blinked, cocking her head slightly to the side in confusion. “But in wh- whoo, in THAT order!”

Author's Note

Electric Guest - American Daydream

Whelp, I hope you're happy. It looks like it's back to ruining lives for me.
Wheeeee.

Also, I'd like to thank you guys for helping point out grammatical errors that I might have missed. It's dandy.
Carry on, my minions!

Improper Trimmings

0-0-0-0-0

“Argh! This isn’t busy work, this is punishment! This is torture! I have rights, dammit!” Eris swore, swinging her fist at the ceiling. “Rights, I tells ya! I plead the fifth!”

William remained thoroughly baffled, regardless of his attempts to focus.

It seemed like such an odd thing to the boy, and held his attention for the longest time. The enormous stained glass window shined seemingly with a light all its own, the shimmering colors granting it a splendorous shine. But William was oblivious to the glister of the glass, his mind roiling in contemplation.

The depiction was clearly of Discord stricken with some kind of beam by numerous ponies, one of which in particular held his devout concentration. Rainbow Dash, along with colored representations of her friends, stood baring something at the image of the draconequus as he shielded himself in vain. His brows furrowed in thought even further. To his knowledge, no one had even mentioned such an occurrence to him.

Although the more that he thought about it, his mother tended to be generally vague about her past with Discord.

“… How peculiar.”

“Whuzzat?” Eris cocked her head, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow before tossing the sponge into the refilled bucket with a hint of contempt. “Are you gonna just stand there and look pretty, cupcake, or are we going to get this crap done today?”

“Eris, take a look at this…” he began, covering his mouth with his hand while gripping his chin. “Hmm.”

“Oh, that?” she flicked her eyes at it, disinterested. She cracked her back in discomfort, staring up at the window beside him. “Yeah, dad told me ‘bout that. He got turned into a rock.”

“Oh.”

William blinked, the thought finally registering.

“Wait, what?”

“Yep,” she scratched the side of her nose distractedly. “Way back before he got roaming rights again. Dad got turned into a statue by the Elements of Harmony.”

“I’ve heard of that before!” William snapped his fingers suddenly, remembering. “I have definitely heard that crop up, ‘Elements of Harmony’. What are they? Why was Father turned into a statue? And wouldn’t that just be a minor inconvenience to a living god?”

Eris yawned, slumping tiredly over his shoulder and using him to prop herself up as she slouched.

“He had his powers frozen, because he was wrecking shit, and that would be your mom and her friends.”

“What?”

“I answered all of your questions, but backwards!” Eris said excitedly, but then frowned. “Well, actually, if I’d answered backwards, it would be sdneirf reh dna mom ruoy eb dluow taht dna ,tihs gnikcerw saw eh esuaceb ,nesorf srewop sih dah eH.”

William was so thoroughly disturbed by the sound of her flawless imitation of a backwardly playing record that he couldn’t find it in himself to ask her anything else. He only continued to gaze up at the numerous stained glass windows, light cast in and throwing pools of dappled sun onto the floor. His thoughts grew darker as he contemplated and wondered.

Why would Mother fail to mention something that seemed rather eventful like that? Or anyone else, for that matter? Why would they have been fighting, and what could Discord have done that was so terrible that he was sealed in stone?

It wasn’t much farther down the line of windows that William spotted quite a few more, and his mind was abuzz as he left the cleaning supplies behind, forgotten.

Some of the stained glass representations were of Celestia herself, and many seemed to signify some portions of history that he recognized from his studies; the treaty of Neighpan, where Celestia stood before an impressive pagoda with ponies in straw hats. One with Princess Luna with a long double shadow hanging over the moon, another with what looked to be a distant army lining clouds.

His mouth slowly dropped when he finally found one much, much further away, and it didn’t take long for his sharp frown to return.

There was another of Discord, the first in quite a while.

The draconequus was shown to be much larger than previously, taking up a large amount of the window. Cackling madly, Discord dangled what William was horrified to distinguish as ponies screaming in pain over fiery pits, toying with them like they were no more than puppets.

“What the f-”

“Oh, are you kidding me?” Eris threw up her hands in disgust. “We have to wash all of these, too?!”

“Eris, look,” William pointed with a slightly shaking hand. “Is – I think that’s…!”

She blinked, craning her neck.

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah, that’s dad,” Eris shrugged. “He told me ‘bout that. I wouldn’t go getting too worked up over it, tiny.”

“Why not? And don’t call me tiny!”

“Done yet?”

Both of them jumped at the sound of another voice echoing through the hall, and for a moment William had the wild impulse to hide his hands behind his back. He fiddled with the edge of the too short skirt in embarrassment, forcing himself instead to focus on the filly dragging a bucket of cleaning supplies with her.

“Hey!” the draconequus waved cheerfully. “Need some help there? Let me get that for ya.”

She snapped her talons with a scowl, grumpy look returning quickly.

“Oh. Wait. I can’t,” she rolled her eyes sourly. “Shocker.”

“You know, you could always just pick things up,” the light pink, almost white earth pony filly stared at them, letting out a puff as she stopped. William stared at her vibrantly red and messy mane, as the longer he stared the more he was ensured that her head was actually on fire. She wore a similar outfit to theirs, although hers seemed doubly wrinkled and worn. “Lazy days make for long hours, you know.”

“Hello,” William nodded politely. “Thank you for the supplies.”

“Hmm?” the filly blinked, tilting her head at him strangely. Her voice was light and lilting, but her movements were jerky, like she were resisting the urge to twitch. “Oh, this isn’t for you guys,” she giggled. “Missus Trimming put me on window duty as punishment.”

“See!” Eris threw up her arms in despair. “I told you it was punishment!”

“Well, we certainly are grateful for the assistance,” William nodded again. “Pleasure to meet your acquaintance, miss.”

“Oh. Uh, hi!” the filly beamed. “M’name’s Velvet. Guess you’re the replacements. Are you Eris?”

“Actually,” Eris butted in. “That would be me.”

“Cool!” Velvet gained a significant amount of interest, which made William… slightly jealous, for reasons that he could not ascertain. “So you’re the one Missus Trimming was nagging about. She is such a pain in the flank.”

“Heh heh. I know, right?” she grinned, relaxing slightly. Even William managed to loosen up a little bit around the mellow filly. “This here’s my brother. He’s adopted.”

Velvet made a small ‘o’ with her mouth, nodding slowly and shooting the boy another snooping gaze.

“So if she’s Eris, that would make you…?”

Eris butted in, smirking.

“He’s the worst oppai maid ever.”

“What?”

“Desu desu desu ne, kawaii!” Eris giggled, batting her eyelashes.

“I seriously have no idea what you’re saying,” Velvet stared at the sniggering draconequus.

“Just call him tiny.”

“My name is William!” he growled, crossing his arms.

“Yeesh,” the draconequus rolled her eyes. “Now you sound more like the old bat.”

“Missus Trimming does seem to be a bit, er…” William cleared his throat, irritated with himself for losing his temper so easily.

“Bitchy?” the draconequus snickered.

“Nail. Head.” Velvet smacked one hoof into the other, grinning.

“Is she always like that?” he asked conversationally, grabbing one of the sponges at beginning to work his way upward on one of the windows. “Missus Trimming seems rather severe.”

“Yeah, mostly,” Velvet shrugged, digging around in her bucket for a towel and passing it to the once-again grumpy Eris.

“I feel pity for her husband,” William snorted.

“I don’t think she’s actually married anymore,” Velvet rolled her shoulders. “Mean ol’ bitch probably chased him off, or sommat.”

“Ha!” Eris dashed water on the window, suds running down it freely. “Or maybe she just calls herself that ‘cause nobody would ever touch that rusty old poon with a ten foot pole.”

“Or,” William snickered. “Or maybe she nagged him to death.”

“Or maybe,” Missus Trimming said sharply, “she’s standing right behind you.”

“Fffffffffuck.”

0-0-0-0-0

“Insubordination!” Trimming paced back and forth in front of them quietly, each of them dead silent as she wore a path in her office. “Disrespect toward the head maid! Blatant disregard toward priorities! And worst of all, slacking off on the job!”

William cringed with her every word, although the other two standing on either side of him didn’t seem to be nearly as affected.

“I’m terribly sorry, ma’am,” his stomach churned in knots. “It won’t happen again.”

“Won’t happen again?” Trimming’s voice lowered a bit, but lost absolutely none of its fierceness. “Do you have any idea how furious I am at you three?”

“Slightly moderately above averagely pissed?” Eris offered.

“I ought to have the lot of you court marshalled!” she glowered at them. “Toilet duty – all of you! One week, toiletries!”

Eris let out a loud moan, but Velvet seemed to take it in stride.

“Yes, Missus Trimming,” she bowed her head quietly. “We’ll get on it, right away.”

“Oh-ho, no,” the enraged mare ceased her pacing. “You’re all going to be working separately. Velvet? You get the third level.”

“Again?”

“March!” Trimming barked, and Velvet was quick to spin on the spot and speed out the door without another word. It snapped heavily shut behind her, leaving the other two at her mercy.

“And as for you,” she frowned at the idling Eris, who was busy picking her nose. “You’re going to be working on the staff toiletries. I suggest you get busy, they’re on the second floor, west wing.”

“Yippee,” Eris balked unenthusiastically. “Just what I wanted. This is even better than a freaking puppy.”

“You’ll be doing it with your toothbrush if you speak out of line again,” Trimming deadpanned.

Eris opened her mouth to say something, but snapped her jaw shut angrily. She stomped out the same way Velvet had left, muttering foul words under her breath and uselessly clicking and clacking her talons together.

William was a tad sorry to see her go, as it meant that he was left completely unshielded from the wrath of the head maid. He flinched again when the door snapped loudly shut, and he fidgeted awkwardly with the hem of the uncomfortable uniform, slowly growing more and more uneasy as the silence became deafening.

He was suddenly very aware that the skirt was too short, that the frills stuck out in a silly fashion, and the self-consciousness did nothing to help his position.

“And as for you…” Trimming finally spoke, slowly beginning to pace again. “Hmm. Where to put you.”

She leaned in closely, sharp yellow eyes piercing him as he realized that he was holding his breath.

“… What are you?” Trimming inspected him with a hint of curiosity. “What even are you?”

“My-my name is William, Missus Trimming,” he cleared his throat nervously.

“Yes. I already knew that,” her nostrils flared, but she continued searching him, quietly stepping around him as if she were searching for something. “But that doesn’t mitigate my inquisitions. What are you?”

Trimming frowned even harder, pausing by his side and peering into the rigid boy’s ear.

“I’ve never seen anything quite like you before…” she hummed. “Certainly not equine, not a draconequus like the other at all. Possibly minotaur, at least half…”

“Er, actually,” William started, sweat beginning to gather uncomfortably on his back. “Um, I’m-”

“No!” she cut him off, making him jump. “No, no. Shh, let me guess. I just love the mystery of it.”

He was a little thrown off by her statement, but remained still nonetheless. She circled him more closely, and William was reminded of a shark seeking dinner as she grinned at him.

“You wouldn’t happen to be part griffin, would you?” she guessed. “No? Hm. So strange.”

The more Trimming fired off question after question as to what he was, the more William suspected that she was enjoying being wrong. She grew a tiny little bit more excited each time, even going so far as to begin lifting his limbs to measure and weigh them.

“What about zebra? Just a little bit zebra? Hmm?” Trimming lifted his arm, scrutinizing his elbow. “No, you haven’t any stripes… I might almost guess chimpanzee, but you haven’t got nearly enough hair on you. At the very least, Zebrican.”

“I, er… I didn’t know you were so interested in guessing games,” William finally croaked, his voice feeling strangely light. He felt as if she were far too close, and the dainty scent of her pleasant pineapple perfume lingered and made his nose itch.

“Yes, well,” Trimming lifted his leg with her hoof, nearly knocking him off balance. He flushed, using his hands to push down hard on the uniform to keep it in place. “I can’t really-”

“Human,” William blurted at last.

Missus Trimming froze, as did William. However, whereas William had stopped out of awkwardness, the mare seemed absolutely livid.

“… It is an insult,” she dropped his leg sharply, menacingly stamping at the floor before her. “An outright insult to a mare’s intelligence to simply be given an answer.”

William dared not respond, or even to breathe too loudly as she loomed over him. She wordlessly placed her upturned hoof next to his face, and for a moment he was afraid that she was about to hit him. Instead, she gently brushed the underside of his chin, forcing him to embarrassedly look directly at her.

“Wouldn’t you agree…?” Trimming asked quietly, and a tiny shiver rippled inexplicably up his spine.

“I-I-I didn’t m-mean any disrespect, M-”

“You will be assuming duty over the guard’s barracks this week,” she continued as if nothing had happened, releasing him at long last. “And I will be receiving a detailed report on the magnitude of your efforts. Human.”

For the life of him, William did not know why her words as he was pushed out of her office made him feel so terrible.

0-0-0-0-0

Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

I believe that Missus Trimming may have more to her than meets the eye.

I am not so certain that I wish to discover just what it might be.

And yet, I think that I already know the answer. Of course, I could simply be mistaking it for something else. I’m being puerile in my anxiety, doubtlessly. I think.

I find myself unable to sleep once again. Dratted nightmares. Possibly due to subconscious homesickness.

Eris is still annoying. I don’t like her. She keeps me from sleeping with ~~something~~ ~~her constant~~ ~~I think I hate her~~ Later. Just... later.

Dearest Scootaloo,

I promised that I would write, did I not?

…

~~Life here is terrible~~ The weather is nice.

~ William

Caught With Your Pants Down

0-0-0-0-0

The sleeping quarters were surprisingly dingy for the castle’s supposedly sanitary staff.

William blinked blearily around at the little room, letting his eyes adjust as he awoke. His eyes slowly budged closed again, and the last remnants of the dream slipped away from him like sand through his fingers. He had been having such a strange dream; a frightful one to be certain, one where he was being chased through a heavily wooded misty field, pursued by something that he could neither look at as he ran or even so much as remember if he did. At some point the nightmare faded into another dream, and the cold feeling leaked away as he gradually drifted to warmer and more comfortable dreams.

The early morning sunlight seeped in through the conservatively small rectangular window set into the rocky walls, more reminiscent of a well-equipped dungeon cell than a bedding room. No matter how William tried to ignore it, the light seemed to cut right through the air and poke at his sleepy eyes, preventing him from resting. Any moment now would come the alert from the other maids, preparing for the day ahead.

He yawned again, stifling the noise with his palm as he stretched.

Immediately before Eris snorted directly beside him in her sleep.

“Agh!” he screamed, rolling immediately out of the bed and onto the cold stone floor, stunned.

“What, is there a fire?” the draconequus jerked up, eyes wide. “It wasn’t me this time, I swear!”

“Eris!” William bellowed, forcing himself to sit and propping himself up crankily with his hands. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

“Well, I was sleeping, until somebody screwed that up!” she frowned, pulling the light green sheets up to her chest.

“I’m not talking about that,” William glowered angrily at her, shakily standing and dusting off his sky blue pajamas even though it frustratingly added no significant difference to his height no matter how straightly he stood. “I meant, why are you in my bed?”

“Oh,” Eris blinked. “Well, ‘cause you were warm. Duh.”

“What do you mean, because I was warm?” his voice rose even further, both in pitch and volume.

“Exactly what I said, numb nuts,” she grinned, stretching in relaxation with one mismatched arm behind her head.

“No!” he demanded, stamping his bare foot against the floor. “Eris, I – no! Just… no!”

“Dude. Chill out,” Eris pulled herself from the bed lazily on the opposite side, rolling her shoulders. “It was that, my bed or the floor. What are you so uptight for?”

“Eris!” William balked, throwing his hands out angrily at his sides at her apparent failure to understand. “It’s – why can’t – I don't feel those – learn personal space!”

“What, you’re telling me you don’t like me now?” Eris leaned over the bed, grinning at him as her tail twitched back and forth behind her head. “That’s funny. You sure were awfully comfy trying to hug up on me in your sleep.”

“Personal – space – dang it - Eris!”

The draconequus giggled, squeezing the air and making lewd kissing and smacking noises with her lips. At least, until William threw a pillow at her, at which point she cackled even harder when it slapped her across the nose.

“Oh, you like it rough, huh?” Eris tittered, clicking her talons. She promptly scowled when nothing occurred, and she instead opted to grab one of the stuffed pillows and twirled it in one paw. “Alrighty then, tiny, let’s get rough! Whee!”

“No, wait…!” William’s eyes widened, and he suddenly found it much more difficult to speak with his mouth full of pillow.

“Boom, bee-yatch!” Eris crowed, laughing as she chased the boy. He made a annoyed scramble for the bed to grab a pillow to defend himself, rabidly attempting to fight back his own grin. She twittered madly, grabbing him around the middle and tackling him to the bed before tickling him wildly.

“What’s the matter, tiny?” she purred, straddling William atop the bed and grinning down at him as her tail twitched in a feline manner back and forth. “Not even going to put up a fight?”

“Eris, you are much heavier than I would have originally anticipated,” William stated bluntly, squirming uncomfortably.

“Are you saying I’m fat?!” she gasped in faux horror.

“Er… of-of course not,” he frowned. “I am merely implying that your body mass index is noticeably varying from my own, and that you possess a distinct size and weight advantage. Ergo, I determine that the ‘fight’ in question was unquestionably rigged from the beginning.”

“So… fat.”

Both of them froze as the creak of the sleeping quarter’s door sounded behind them, and Eris’s tail even stopped mid-twitch as she blinked at the gaping maid.

“… Oh, god,” William cringed in mortification. “I swear, it’s not what it looks like.”

“It totally is,” Eris grinned maliciously, winking at the blushing light tan and mauve colored mare. “It is exactly what it looks like.”

“I-I-I, um,” the maid cleared her throat awkwardly, stepping lightly from hoof to hoof. “It’s time for – well, I mean – actually, I could just come back later,” she laughed gawkily, raising one hoof and slightly averting her gaze.

She didn’t wait for an answer before quickly slamming the door shut behind her.

“… Goddammit, Eris.”

“Willy, have I ever told you that you’re really cute when you’re flust- AHAHA, NOT THE RIBS!”

0-0-0-0-0

Scootaloo danced impatiently back and forth on the doorstep to Rainbow Dash’s ground level home, eagerly awaiting an answer.

The sun was up and shining, the weather was pleasant and a cool breeze ruffled her mane, and the late morning air was fresh and light as the chirrup of the birds in the air. It only made it seem all the stranger that Rainbow Dash wasn’t out and about as she expected her to be; after all, her idol was never the kind of mare that lazed about.

Scootaloo momentarily wondered if she should try knocking on the painted wooden door again, and had even lifted her hoof to it when it finally pried open.

“H-hey! Hi, uh… hey there!” Pinkie Pie stuck out only her head, revealing her rosy cheeked beam at the filly. Her normally springy mane was even messier than usual, and she seemed relatively breathless.

“Hi, Pinkie Pie!” Scootaloo smiled at her. “Is Rainbow Dash here?”

“O-oh,” Pinkie blinked, still trying to catch her breath and desperately tried to flatten her mane a little. “Um, well, she-she’s a little tied up at the moment.”

“Ah. Okay,” the pegasus nodded understandingly. “How long do you think it’ll take her to come?”

Scootaloo stared at the frizzy maned mare for a moment, as Pinkie Pie appeared to have suddenly broken into a barely covered sneezing fit that sounded suspiciously like laughter.

Pinkie stopped suddenly, forcing a professionally blank look.

“Do you mind waiting for a little bit?” Pinkie asked.

“Oh, ‘course not!” Scootaloo perked up. She started to edge toward the door, but Pinkie closed it a little tighter so that just a sliver of her face was showing.

“Er, actually,” Pinkie grinned sheepishly. “I meant waiting out here.”

“It’s fine,” she agreed with a hint of disappointment. “I don’t mind.”

Scootaloo didn’t quite catch what the overexcited mare said as she closed the door, but from what she could tell it sounded almost as if Pinkie had mumbled something incoherent about whipped topping.

She waited outside in the warm sun for what felt like hours, the heat collecting on her head and making her long for the shade of the trees not too far away. However, Scootaloo remained adamant and stood firmly on the doorstep. More time passed and still nopony let her in, and she even went so far as to lean a bit against the door to listen in curiosity.

No sooner had she pressed her raised ear against the door than the door at last swung inward, displaying a mildly cross Rainbow Dash with her mane sticking up in multiple places.

“Hi, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo greeted her cheerfully, oblivious to the older mare’s deadpan.

“Hey, kid,” the pegasus blinked. “All right. Let me guess. It’s something really important that absolutely cannot wait for anything at all or you’ll explode.”

Scootaloo nodded furiously, grateful that somepony at last understood. It helped that Rainbow Dash was used to the routine.

“Well…” she stopped shortly afterwards. “Actually, Rainbow Dash, it really is important. Way more important than normal stuff, really.”

“What?” Dash asked in barely concealed mock surprise. “Even more important than flight techniques?”

Scootaloo, perhaps fortunately, did not quite catch the tone in her voice and instead nodded again.

“Uh… can-can I come in?” she asked hopefully, shuffling her orange wings against her sides awkwardly and rubbing one of her forelegs delicately. “It’s, uh… heh heh, it’s not really the kind of stuff you want to talk about right outside, you know?”

Dash chewed her lip for a moment, leaning backwards and almost closing the door again.

“I guess it’s sa- uh, yeah,” Rainbow Dash allowed her inside her abode at last. “Come on, make yourself at home already.”

Scootaloo started down the entry hall, only to be stopped firmly by the mare.

“Actually, forget that last part, just go straight to the kitchen,” Dash cleared her throat extraordinarily loudly, as if signaling for somepony else.

“Oh, sure!” Scootaloo was all too glad to comply, and Rainbow Dash released a silent sigh of relief.

She seated herself comfortably at the kitchen table as the weary pegasus set about unsteadily making coffee, the agreeable scent of which filling the air eventually drew in a surprisingly dour Pinkie Pie. Pinkie snapped a small red box as she entered the kitchen, sticking it directly into one of the cabinets.

“What’s up with the sourpuss face?” Dash grinned at Pinkie as she pushed her sweets away.

“Chocolate frosting just doesn’t taste the same without anything to slather it on,” Pinkie Pie frowned, snagging one of the coffee mugs.

“What about cake?” Scootaloo offered helpfully, and Rainbow Dash had to turn to hide her snickering.

“I don’t think so,” Pinkie stated flatly.

“How come?”

Pinkie let out a puff through her nostrils, offering Scootaloo a cup of steaming coffee as well.

“Let’s just say that I got choc–blocked, bro, and leave it at that,” she harrumphed, taking her hot drink and leaving with the same surly expression. Pinkie made sure to pat Dash once on the shoulder before she did so, sliding away softly.

“… Did I come at a bad time?” Scootaloo fidgeted nervously, and Dash shook her head before seating herself opposite of her.

“Nah, it’s fine, kiddo,” she shrugged. “Pinks thinks I – actually, that’s not important. What’s up?”

Rainbow Dash took a quiet sip of her scalding hot sugarless coffee, the bitterness biting at her. It was soon interrupted by a nagging suspicion from the filly’s uneasy fiddling with her cup, which she slid back and forth on the table. She opened her mouth to speak twice, but nothing came out.

“Any-any mail for me?” she asked in a conversational tone, to which Rainbow Dash wordlessly shook her head. Scootaloo continuously touched her forelegs tenderly, sliding one hoof up and down it.

“I get the feeling you’re beating your bush.”

“What?”

“Around!” Rainbow Dash coughed loudly into her hoof, looking away swiftly. “Uh, beating around the bush. Go on.”

“Well, it’s… it’s actually kind of personal,” Scootaloo spat out finally, clearly troubled. “And I couldn’t really think of anypony else to come to about it.”

“Look, Scoots,” Rainbow Dash leveled a look at her. “I’ve known you for a while. Even Will thinks you’re all right. If you’ve got something to ask me, go on ahead. We cool?”

Scootaloo started to speak again, but bit her lip for a long moment before nodding with slowly growing enthusiasm.

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re cool,” she tried to say nonchalantly, even leaning back a bit in her chair for emphasis.

“Cool. So, what’s up?” Dash took another swig of her coffee, the chirping of birds outside the window pleasantly dancing across her ears.

“Okay. Okay, so,” the filly ferociously cleared her throat again, squeaking her chair a little closer to the table and sitting up straighter. She rubbed her fetlocks sorely again, barely touching her forelegs. “SO. Uh, so, Rainbow Dash. Say – say I – I mean, say that somepony you know really, really liked somepony else.”

It clicked almost automatically, and Rainbow Dash allowed herself a little wry grin. However, strangely, it also made something else stir in her chest, which she pushed back to focus on the conversation.

“Uh huh,” Dash nodded to show that she was still listening. “Go on.”

“R-right,” Scootaloo looked around, holding her mug between her hooves to occupy herself. “Right, so. So, if you really, really liked somepony else, what would you do?”

“Easy,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Tell them how I feel, and if they’re honest, they’ll do the same.”

“Okay,” she went on, a little more courageous by now. “So, let’s say that you really liked somepony else. Except there’s this problem, and you started having these weird feelings for somepony different, even though you still had feelings for-for somepony.”

Dash resisted the impulse to point out that the filly was being conspicuously vague in terms of definitions, but bit her tongue. Besides, she had a pretty good idea of what she meant.

“And now you’re conflicted?” Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.

“Pffft, whaaaat?” Scootaloo laughed anxiously. “No, no! Not-not me, I mean, er… I meant somepony else. Theoretical pony. Or hypothetical pony. It’s one of those,” she rambled.

“Uh huh,” she nodded again, hiding her smirk as she took another large quaff, letting the warmth seep into her chest. “So, now this theoretical hypothetical young mare is conflicted.”

“Right,” the filly agreed, carefully touching the bottom of her own hooves. “Except, she might not really know how to handle some things, ‘cause it might not all be, you know… traditional stuff.”

Dash’s eyes flicked momentarily toward the other room where Pinkie Pie lurked just out of sight, grumbling loudly about the quality of pastries and how if she kept it up she was going to turn into her grandmother.

Her smile grew, but in a gentle fashion.

“Heh. Untraditional is something I’m pretty familiar with, actually,” Rainbow Dash responded softly. Scootaloo seemed a little more relieved at her words, prompting her to continue.

“Haa, yeah. I… guess not everypony is into the same kind of thing, you know?”

“You can say that again.”

“That again,” Scootaloo said promptly.

They shared a couple of quiet chuckles, and Scootaloo at last gained a substantial feeling of confidence. This had been what she needed. She didn't know how she had been so apprehensive about it before.

“So… what do you think I – I mean, somepony should do in that kind of situation?” Scootaloo pried.

“Well,” Rainbow Dash started thoughtfully, swilling her half empty mug. “The best thing you can do is be as honest as you can, and that’s to yourself as well. But it’s just as important to be loyal to the special somepony that you have feelings for, and let them know how you really feel. Loyalty is way more important in a relationship than you know.”

“Loyalty? How so?”

“Well, because without loyalty, there’s no trust. And if there’s no trust in a relationship… what kind of relationship is it, then?”

Scootaloo rubbed her foreleg in deep contemplation for a long few minutes, before eventually bowing her head slowly.

“… Yeah,” she nodded a tad more quickly. “Yeah, okay. That solves some of it, I think.”

“Just some?” Dash chortled, leaning back in her chair in ease before taking another drink.

“Ha ha, yeah. I guess I can’t say I can ever get all the answers about unwanted feelings,” Scootaloo half laughed, rubbing her forelegs again.

Rainbow Dash almost brushed it off to take another drink of her rapidly cooling coffee, but something made her stop halfway. She stared at the filly for a long, hard minute, watching intensely before it finally sank in what it was about her that was bothering her so much.

Scootaloo kept doing something that she herself used to do.

“Got-got something on you, just there…?” Rainbow Dash tried to ask discreetly, her heart pounding in her ears. The marks. Those little barely hidden marks.

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Scootaloo chuckled apprehensively. “Riding crops kinda hurt.”

Scootaloo had hardly mentioned it in passing, and really never thought she would use it in a sentence at all; and yet, the moment she spoke, an unsettlingly surreal change appeared to overcome Rainbow Dash. The pegasus’s ears flattened back against her head almost immediately, the color draining from her face as her eyes narrowed to pinpricks, focusing far too hard on something in the distance.

“What did you just say?” Dash breathed, quivering as her voice started cracking.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Scootaloo said quickly. “I just –”

“Is that why you didn’t say anything before?” Rainbow Dash asked frantically, her voice rising steadily. “Is that it? He wouldn’t – were you afraid or something of – was it because he was still here?!”

The mare’s increasingly wild look and tone began to scare Scootaloo, and she shied away a couple of inches.

“No!” she answered shakily. “I mean, I wouldn’t – I can’t… you said loyal…!”

“How come you didn’t tell anypony that they hurt you?” Dash was shouting by this point, making Scootaloo cower in wide eyed confusion and fear. “I said, why! Where did they touch you?”

Rainbow Dash grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, shaking her violently as her face came far too close. Her eyes rolled wildly, only accentuated by her panicked shouts.

“Answer me! You answer me right now, Scootaloo! Tell me! Tell me right fucking NOW, WHERE DID THEY TOUCH YOU?!”

“Dashie!”

Rainbow Dash felt her hooves being roughly jerked away from the crying filly, her head forcibly turned away. Pinkie Pie’s aghast face full of concern filled her vision, but Dash’s fear did not subside.

“Pinkie!” Dash all but screamed. “Pinkie Pie, you don’t –”

“Stop it!” Pinkie held her face still, forcing her to hold her gaze. “You get a hold of yourself, right now Rainbow Dash!”

“Pinkie Pie,” Rainbow Dash struggled to fight her off. “You don’t understand…!”

The pink mare looked like she was ready to scream as well, although for completely different reasons. Instead, Pinkie powerfully took a deep, steady breath and ever so slowly let go of the pegasus.

“Just calm down, Dashie. Look. Just look at what you did.”

Rainbow Dash started to shoot back a hurried snarky reply, but instead it finally crashed in on her that Scootaloo was sitting against the wall, sniveling miserably and hiding her stream of tears behind her hooves. A wave of guilt intermingled with other disagreeing emotions built in her chest, and Dash recoiled at herself.

“… Hey,” Pinkie knelt sympathetically beside the quietly crying filly. “Hey, um… Scoots.”

Scootaloo sniffed dejectedly in response.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine,” Pinkie Pie tried to sound upbeat. “Dashie just overreacted a little, is all – aww, jeez, please stop crying. I hate seeing somepony cry,” her lip quivered.

“L-look, Scootaloo,” Dash cleared her throat ultimately, her cheeks burning as she knelt on the other side of the filly. “I-I’m sorry, I just – I kind of lost my cool there for-for a second. It-it’s just, you know…” she flailed for a proper excuse as to why she had shaken her so violently, her outburst of anger. Nothing eloquent seemed to come to mind, no matter how desperately she willed it.

“I’m sorry,” Scootaloo whimpered. “I-I didn’t mean to…”

“Oh, no, no no no,” Pinkie patted her shoulder soothingly. “Hey, it’s okay. Come on, it’s fine, everything is going to be A – okay. You don’t have anything to be sorry for, nothing at all.”

“Right,” Rainbow Dash’s lowered her head grimly. “It isn’t your fault, no matter what anypony tells you. When did he first start?”

“W-what?”

Scootaloo looked up momentarily, desperately wiping her face on the crook of her elbow so as not to further embarrass herself by crying in front of any others any more than she already had. She didn’t seem to be succeeding.

“Abusing you,” Dash pressed on, a dark look in her eyes. “How long ago was it that he started using you?”

“He?” she blinked, struggling not to hide behind her own hooves again as the pair stared hard at her. “I-I don’t – I mean, I-I-I didn’t –”

“You don’t have to stick up for his actions or cover for him,” Rainbow Dash said evenly, although she was shaking to some extent. Her voice was almost robotic, and her glare was empty. “You don’t even have to go into details, if you don’t want to. You don’t have to blame yourself. Just tell me when he started mistreating you already!”

Scootaloo shook her head back and forth furiously, her mouth firmly clamped shut as the tears unwillingly sprang forth once more. Pinkie shared a look that was lost on Rainbow Dash, and sighed.

“… Hey,” Pinkie patted the unfortunate filly on the shoulder again. “Hey, it’s going to be okay, I Pinkie Promise. Why don’t you go on home, Scootaloo?” she asked, helping her up. “You go on home for now, me and Dashie have some things to say alone. Okay?”

Scootaloo silently nodded and swallowed hard, making straight for the door the moment she had the opportunity. She didn’t even look back.

Pinkie waited until the door had noisily latched and she was positive that the pegasus was far out of earshot before she finally turned back to Rainbow Dash, who had already sunk against the wall, staring ahead. Her eyes were wide and she was shaking visibly, and she habitually rubbed one of her wingtips while muttering under her breath.

“Dash. Dashie,” Pinkie Pie gained her attention. “I heard all of that. You – you don’t really think she meant… meant who you think she meant, do you?”

“He wouldn’t,” Rainbow Dash quietly began rocking back and forth, tapping at something invisible just in front of her on the floor. “He wouldn’t, I know he wouldn’t. He’s a good colt…”

Pinkie started to wordlessly pull the curtains closed, her mind abuzz and her heart heavy when Dash started up and paced fervently around.

“But he might,” Rainbow Dash puffed, ears still flat against her head. “He just might, we all knew the danger – oh, Celestia, what if it’s my fault?”

“Dashie –”

“Just how long do you think it’s been going on…?” Dash whimpered, her voice cracking again. “It’s my fault, it’s all my fault…!”

Pinkie Pie whistled loudly, waving at the despairing pegasus.

“Hey!” she hugged her tightly, forcing a smile. “Come on, now; what were you just saying about blaming yourself for things?”

“I have to go to Canterlot,” Rainbow Dash breathed, running a hoof through her mane. “I –”

“Oh, no!” Pinkie frowned determinedly. “NO! Dashie – Rainbow Dash, we discussed this, you are not going to Canterlot for any reason. Is that understood?”

“Pinkie,” she leveled a distressed, pleading look at her before slowly prying away. “I need to do this…!”

“No, Rainbow Dash,” Pinkie Pie pulled her back. “No, you don’t. It’s not going to come to the worst, we are going to stick through this together and make this work, okay? It won’t take that much longer to just write a letter than it would to go there yourself – and that’s even if she really did mean William, and besides, sending a letter would still only be concerning William instead of look at me Rainbow Dash!”

Dash cringed at the sound of Pinkie Pie finally snapping, and they both simply stood in each other’s embrace and stared at each other for a long while in peaceful silence that was only disturbed by the birds.

“… Celestia, I’ll bet we both look a mess,” Pinkie eventually tittered weakly.

“Yeah, kind of,” Dash answered quietly, letting the mare hug her.

“Pinkie Promise me that you won’t go. Okay?” Pinkie Pie looked her hard in the eyes.

“I can’t –”

“Dashie,” she said. “I need to trust you for this. I need you to promise me that you won’t go to Canterlot to look for him. Pinkie Promise me. Please, Dashie.”

“… Okay. Okay. I promise. I Pinkie Promise.”

Pinkie Pie’s breath of relief was music to Rainbow Dash’s ears. It didn’t assuage the feeling of guilt at all, unfortunately. Although whether this was because Dash wasn’t sure if she would be made a liar or not, or because she couldn’t bear the thought of the inevitable was still quite questionable, even to herself.

0-0-0-0-0

“So?” Diamond Tiara asked, hopping up excitedly from her opulent bed and spanning the distance between them with the speed of a locomotive. “How’d it go for y- Scoots, have you been crying?”

Scootaloo quietly coughed into her hoof, looking away as she latched Diamond Tiara’s heavy bedroom door behind her. She was certain that her eyes were probably still red, even though she had spent extra time trying to wash the evidence away with cold water. Instead, Scootaloo focused intently on the shade of carpeting in the filly’s lavishly decorated bedroom, which held her attention far longer than any carpeting had any right to.

“Later,” Scootaloo answered throatily. “What did your dad say?”

Diamond Tiara flipped her mane casually as she made for her comfortable seat again, but her stern gaze remained firm on the pegasus.

“He’s an old fashioned stallion. He thinks we’re just friends, still,” she explained, patting her bed and offering the weary pegasus a place beside her. “But daddy seems to think that practicality is more important than romance. I should have guessed,” Tiara snorted. “What about you? You…”

Diamond Tiara slowly lifted her hoof, gently brushing the underside of Scootaloo’s chin and softly forcing her to look at her.

“… You look terrible,” she mused almost inaudibly, to which Scootaloo grunted.

“Well,” Scootaloo shifted uncomfortably as Tiara’s hoof slid over her cheek, delicately touching the still red flush tinging her cheek. “Um… well, Rainbow Dash thinks that I’m being abused.”

Diamond Tiara snorted again, withdrawing her touch.

“I can’t say I’m all that surprised. Hooves?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Scootaloo rubbed the bit of dangling fur of her fetlock routinely.

“I said it was too soon, did I not?” she raised an eyebrow slightly, at which the pegasus shrugged. “That’s what you get for not listening to me when I said to leave the hooves alone this time.”

“I don’t care, I don’t like it on the flank. It hurts way more!”

Diamond Tiara grinned, and Scootaloo’s previous smile even started shining through for a moment.

“And what did she say afterwards?” she inquired with interest.

“Uh…”

Diamond Tiara stared at her, brushing a lock of mane from her friend’s face as her ghost of a smile slowly faded.

“... Scoots, do please tell me that you did not leave anypony under the impression that you’re being unwillingly abused,” she half snickered.

“I-I just couldn’t tell her,” Scootaloo hung her head in shame. “I-I just, I just couldn’t.”

“Another matter of embarrassment?” Diamond Tiara pried.

Scootaloo shook her head fiercely, dropping onto her back with a sigh. The soft cushion of the mattress almost sucked her in, and the satin canopy above her seemed to welcome her just as comfortingly as Diamond Tiara did as she joined her.

“No, not that,” Scootaloo exhaled again slowly. “Though it sure was embarrassing enough. I mean, I don’t even know. Rainbow Dash kind of… I mean, she kind of snapped. I’ve never seen her like that before,” she trembled. “It-it got to me, is all. Shot my nerves all up, you know?”

“Fantastic,” Diamond Tiara groaned, but snuggled against her nonetheless. “Because that’s exactly what we needed, was further complications.”

“Sorry,” Scootaloo flinched, genuinely still feeling awful over the entire affair. She was beginning to wish that they had never began conspiring together that day at all – but that meant she would have spent all day alone, as Apple Bloom was busy in the orchards and Sweetie Belle had to help her own sister.

“Hmm. Sorry, indeed.”

“Guess that means you’re gonna ‘punish’ me again, huh?” Scootaloo asked, her wings already bristling underneath her.

To her surprise, Diamond Tiara merely shook her head before moving in a little closer.

“Let’s... just stay like this for a while,” Tiara whispered, snuggling with her in the sea of blankets. "Right here, just like this."

“I can live with that,” Scootaloo grinned.

“I would hope so. If not, you’d surely die.”

0-0-0-0-0

“Excuse me, what?” Trimming frowned, eyes narrowing dangerously.

“Er… the-the post office, Missus Trimming,” William ruffled the envelopes in his hands nervously. “I-I was wondering about the post office. I have never personally been to Canterlot except during the… the fireworks incident,” he admitted. “I was curious about where I would go to send these.”

The mare shooed off the young maid that she had been scolding, and turned to properly face the boy. The maid trotted quickly out of sight, the clopping of her hooves diminishing the further away she trotted down the enormous hall.

“If I recall correctly, which I usually do,” Trimming’s eyes narrowed even further as she eyed the papers in his hands. “You and your sibling are to be prevented from leaving the grounds, as per your penalty. There’s a postal office on Canterlot’s main street, but you won’t be visiting it.”

William bowed his head quietly, the emptiness of the hall pricking painfully at his ears.

“Give them to me.”

William blinked, shifting uncertainly before her stern gaze.

“Er… sorry?”

“Your letters,” Trimming stated flatly. “Give them to me. I will ensure that they get to their destination,” she continued. “And don’t even think that I’m paying for your postage, human.”

“Oh. Um, thank you, Missus Trimming,” a candid smile tugged at his lips, and he gladly passed her the white envelopes, which she tucked into a pocket on the side of her own black and white uniform. “It means a lot to –”

“Yes yes yes,” she waved him off. “I’m certain that it does. I’m beginning to find it suspicious that you’ve finished your duties already.”

William’s face immediately lost all expression, and he tugged fretfully at the hem of his skirt for a moment.

“… You haven’t stepped hoof in the guard’s barracks today, have you?” Missus Trimming’s yellow eyes narrowed once more, a dangerous gleam in them.

“Um. Oh. Well, M-Missus Trimming, I-I needed to write, and, um…”

“Slacking off on the job again!” she scowled, stepping toward him menacingly. William refrained from backing up, although his feet nearly moved seemingly of their own volition. “I should not have to stand over you just to ensure you actually do your job!”

“I – sorry,” he mumbled, interlocking his fingers behind his back.

“Clearly not!” Trimming seethed. William started to slip away toward his duties, but was snagged on the collar by the incensed mare.

“Going-” he started, but was cut off as he was roughly pulled in the opposite direction.

“Oh, no you don’t!” she demanded. “Repeat offenders will not be tolerated. Office! NOW!”

William’s heart sank into his stomach as he was marched back to the head maid’s office, and his dread weighed heavily on his chest. He picked up his feet and carried on wistfully, wishing that he at least had pockets on his own ridiculously frilly uniform to stick his hands into.

They passed a couple of lightly armored pegasi chatting animatedly, but William kept his head down. It seemed to take hours of mute walking to finally reach Trimming’s office, the squeak of linoleum the only sound in the morning air. Trimming wordlessly yanked out a ring of keys, which she expertly rifled through with a single hoof before jamming one into the keyhole and flinging the door open wide, shoving the boy directly inward.

“Once more,” Trimming flattened her grey flecked yellow mane in agitation, firmly locking the door behind herself. “I find myself in the position of adversary to laziness. Well?” she turned sharply to William, who twiddled timidly with his fingers. “What do you have to say for yourself this time, human?”

“… My name is William,” he said in a hushed tone.

“And?” she barked, making him flinch again. “I am doing my utmost to stay in a good mood. Do you want to tell me why you spent your working time writing silly little letters instead of your job?”

She slammed the envelopes onto her desk, and for a second William feared that she would rip them. Instead, Trimming only slid them angrily to the corner beneath an unlit lamp.

“I-I’m sorry, Missus Trimming,” he cleared his throat, cheeks burning. “It-it’s just that, well, er. You see, um…”

“Get to the point,” Trimming towered over him ominously.

“I don’t like the guard’s barracks,” William cringed again.

“You don’t like it?” she balked at him incredulously. “Oh, well then. That changes matters completely, why ever didn’t I take that into account before who do you think you are?!”

William was clearly shaken, but forced himself to look up at the infuriated mare. He had to swallow hard before speaking, though.

“Um, well… I mean, the-the people in there give me funny looks.”

Mrs. Trimming looked as if she was going to shout at him again, but she eventually took a long, arduously deep breath and looked away. She pinched the bridge of her nose, slowly beginning to pace back and forth in front of him.

“I am thoroughly unsurprised,” Trimming huffed, blowing a lock of tarnished golden mane from her face. “Everypony gives you funny looks. Just look at you, it’s no wonder at all.”

William felt a pang in in chest at her words, although he didn’t recognize why.

“Not-not quite like that,” William clutched at his hands fretfully. “I-I mean, er… sometimes somepony will try to look up my s-skirt, and um… it’s-it’s very, very, uh…”

“Sit down,” Trimming sighed eventually, nodding to one of the spare chairs before her worn wooden desk. “Before the rest of the blood in your body rushes to your head and it blows off. I swear to Celestia, I’ve never seen anypony blush that damned red.”

William gratefully took the opportunity to free himself from the head maid’s steely gaze, and he gracelessly tumbled into the uncomfortable wooden chair. The metal filing cabinets lining the walls were oddly reminiscent of Saint Claire’s, and a tingle of nostalgia poked at the back of his mind. He clamped his legs together restlessly, flattening the frills on the uniform uselessly.

“If you have problems with somepony, royal guard or no,” Trimming began eventually, ceasing her pacing and sitting across from him behind her small desk. “Then either mare up and take care of it or ignore it. I won’t be responsible for your fuckups if you or your ‘sister’” she said with air quotes, “happen to have problems during your stay. Understood?”

“Y-yes, ma’am.”

“This is not a vacation for you,” Trimming continued. “And I will not have you slacking off again. Also, if you really had such a problem with stallions looking up your skirt, why were you bending over in front of them in the first place unless you wanted them to?”

William started to speak, but bit his tongue.

“… And didn’t you have more clothing?” she pressed, furrowing her brows as she stared suddenly at his bare legs. “I could have sworn that was the case, I even saw you dragging it into your shared lodgings. Why didn’t you just wear more of those?” Trimming asked in a slightly accusatory tone.

“Eris stole all of my pants as a joke,” he admitted at last, thoroughly humiliated. “She seems to think that it was hilarious, and she won’t tell me where she hid them.”

“And you didn’t tell anypony?” Trimming cocked an eyebrow in disbelief, eyeing him up and down a little more thoroughly, her stare lingering on his lower quarters for an uncomfortably long time. She sidled out from behind her desk, standing resolutely before him as he unconsciously leaned further back in the chair. “I find that a little… hard to believe.”

“O-oh, um, well,” William began stuttering again, heat rising in his face as she grew close enough to barricade him in completely. He clasped his hands tightly in his lap, one of her hooves resting loosely on the wooden arm of the chair. “It’s-it’s, well, er… shirts, but-but no pants, Eris is – um, it’s really complicated.”

“Is that so,” Trimming hummed, her other hoof firmly beginning to slide up his bare leg, stopping tantalizingly half way. William hadn’t even noticed that he had stopped breathing altogether, although his compactly clenched together hands were a little unsteady. “… You’re trembling. Oh, you're shaking alright, I can see you try to hide it. Why? Is it fear?” she whispered in his ear, a sultry gleam in her stare.

William said nothing.

“… Or maybe anticipation?” she breathed, her grin widening. “Don’t tell me. Just let me guess.”

“You know what they say about assumptions,” William couldn’t keep himself from croaking dryly. Trimming rose a hoof suddenly, making him jerk; but she only tilted his head a bit to the side, and she looked him hard in the eyes.

“… Hmph. You remind me of Shears.”

William again fell silent, and Trimming at last pulled away from him a little. She quietly stepped toward the closed window blinds, turning them to stare out into the unclouded sky.

“Your… husband?” he fought the urge to rub his cheeks, and an odd look claimed the head maid’s features. A cross between longing, pain and… sadness.

“He used to be,” she answered softly, seating herself across from him once more, placing her hooves noiselessly on her desk and folding them one over the other. The sudden lack of bright sunshine into the little office made it seem a bit greyer than before, as if the color had been sucked out.

“… What happened?” William asked quietly.

“He died. It was a long time ago,” Trimming replied formally. “Started in his stomach. Paralyzed him, eventually. It was slow. I’ve been all alone ever since.”

“I’m sorry. I know how bad it feels to be all alone.”

Trimming looked at him with something unidentifiable in her eyes, and he averted his gaze.

He regarded his shoes as easier to look at, and that was where his eyes stayed. However, his mind churned, and the strange feeling in his chest rose again. William felt a sympathetic pain for the sorrowful mare, even though he really didn’t want to; perhaps it was just the way that she, too, refused to look at him, her mind too far away to really hear even if he spoke.

It was familiar.

“Missus Trimming?” William spoke up, her head jerkily swiveling back to him as she pulled herself from thought.

“Yes, right,” she started distractedly, waving him toward the door. “I’ll have a few words with Silver Spear. Get to the barracks, and be quick about it. Princess Luna is going to need somepony later, and another of the new mares… left, so you’ll be assuming her duties as well. See me again when you’re finished in the barracks.”

He began to say something else, but clamped his mouth shut and nodded feverishly before seeing himself out. As Mrs. Trimming’s heavy door loudly snapped behind him, William couldn’t help but release a breath of relief. He was almost sure that he was going to be punished, and was almost giddy that he wasn’t as he made his way toward the supply closet. It wasn’t until he remembered her last words that William realized that, just maybe, his punishment had only been delayed.

It also occurred to William that he had been skipping, and he angrily pulled down on the frills in retaliation. It must have been the skirt. William was not a ‘skipping’ person.

0-0-0-0-0

Mousetrap

0-0-0-0-0

For as much as William was loathe to return to the barracks, he had to admit that at least they were better looking than the maid’s quarters.

There was a distinguishable space along the walls where the alabaster walls shifted into large bricks, almost as if the barracks were added into the palace as an afterthought rather than built with original intent. The thick stone bricks composing the hall into the guard’s barracks were high and wide, and were occasionally broken by tall windows all the way to the barracks. Whereas the similar architecture was reminiscent of the maid’s quarters and the lower level kitchens that William had seen, it didn’t look anywhere near as grungy. Perhaps it was because of the better lighting.

Or perhaps, he thought vaguely to himself as he dragged the cleaning supplies with him, it was because someone was constantly being sent to clean the barracks.

William sighed heavily as he rounded a corner, lugging the heavy bucket full of supplies with him. Maybe it was just going to be one of those days. And hadn’t any of them ever heard of wheels?

“Mornin’,” one of the guards nodded toward him, a grey earth pony stallion. His frizzy green mane stuck out beneath his helmet, and he looked as if he had just woken up. He scratched a bit of stubble on his chin, staring at William. “Sent ‘cha back already, eh?”

William nodded, continuing on.

“Yes. Excuse me, please.”

The stallion frowned, furrowing his eyebrows before cutting off William’s path.

“Uh, ‘scuse me,” he scowled, and William bit back an angry retort. “Forgetting something?”

“No,” William stated flatly, his arms tiring from the weight of the supplies. “The guard’s cafeteria is relatively unforgettable. Excuse me, please.”

The grey stallion’s nostrils flared, and although a couple of other guards passed by, neither of them said anything.

“Unforgettable, sir?” the guard replied crossly, baring down at him.

“You don’t have to call me ‘sir’.”

William was jolted when his bucket of supplies was sent crashing to the ground by the stallion’s angry swipe, and he ground his teeth at the injustice.

“You look here, runt,” the grey guard scowled at him. “I oughtta –!”

Whack.

The guard’s head tilted forward suddenly at a surprisingly steep angle, his look of anger not even changing so swift was the motion. He blinked, the resounding slap to the back of the head finally registering as he spun on the spot.

“Ought to behave like you belong in the royal guard, yeah,” the golden brown unicorn standing directly behind him deadpanned, and the guard snapped to attention. The hoary grey mane stuck out from the unicorn’s head, looking almost as if it had been removed and then tacked back on at a very slight angle.

“C-Captain Spear, sir!” the stallion stood rigidly, hoof cracking sharply to his head as he saluted.

“Let me guess. You’re hung over again, aren’t you, lieutenant?”

The grey guard cleared his throat a couple of times, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Dismissed.”

Throughout the ordeal, William was busy scrambling to collect the supplies, and was surprised to see a couple of the items such as towels and scrubbing pads slowly levitating in a dim, silvery glow before dropping into his bucket.

“A little late, aren’t you?” the older unicorn blinked at him, and William attempted a similar salute.

“I apologize, sir,” William tried to match Captain Spear’s height, failing poorly.

“Trimming? I got the message,” he added casually as they continued toward the guard’s barracks cafeteria, and William walked quickly alongside his lanky strides. “The one with the skirt thing, right? Willy-ham? I’m th’ captain of these sad sacks. Call me Captain Silver.”

William self-consciously tried to pull the lacy abomination down a little further, silently cursing everyone responsible, himself included.

“Er- yes sir,” he focused instead on the rim of the wooden bucket, thinking rather unpleasant thoughts whenever the name Silver crossed his mind. “I’m sorry about the time, it won’t happen again.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it!” Silver Spear chortled good naturedly as they trundled into the busy cafeteria. “You just don’t worry your pretty little head about it, a good captain never leaves somepony in distress.”

And before William could so much as utter another word, Captain Silver whistled loudly as they entered, causing the hustle and bustle to immediately come to a painfully grinding halt.

“All right!” Silver’s voice burst out so loudly that it made William’s ears ring, and he was certain that anyone within a mile could have heard him. “The lot o’ you, listen up! I’ve gotten word that this here young missy hasn’t been gettin’ th’ right treatment, so you useless lumps need t’shape up in the company o’ ladies!”

A quiet round of laughter went around the entire room, and a heavy rock seemed to settle on William’s stomach.

William wordlessly began attempting to make himself as small as possible, to a great extent wishing that he could shrink enough to hide behind the bucket. Or better yet, hide beneath the stony floor and never, ever come out.

“Um… a-actually-” he started, his voice barely rising above a croaky whisper. Silver Spear seemed not to hear, however.

“And if I hear so much as a peep-” Spear’s gratingly loud voice jabbed William’s ears further, “-that the little missy here’s getting a hard time from anypony-”

“Um, s-sir-”

“-There is gonna be such a flank-whooping that you’ll wish you’d only been demoted for giving a filly-”

“I’m a boy.”

Silver Spear’s words died right in his throat, and he blinked a couple of times before looking at William. He didn’t even say anything at first, simply turning back to the silent onlooking crowd a couple of times before looking William thoroughly up and down.

“… Wait, what?” he asked in a hushed tone.

“I’m not a girl, sir.” William answered gracelessly.

“… You, uh… you don’t look like a – well, I mean, I didn’t, uh…”

Silver coughed into his hoof modestly, looking away once more before returning to the quieted conversation as William tried as hard as he could to turn invisible.

“… Are you pulling my leg?” the captain frowned hard, uncertain.

“No, sir. I distinctly lack the required genitalia to be referred to as belonging to the female gender.”

“… Oh.”

And with that, Silver Spear turned on the spot and left without another word.

0-0-0-0-0

“Yo! Will-ay!”

William groaned internally, Eris’s familiar voice flaying his ears.

“What is it now, Eris?” he growled, dragging a pair of freshly wrung mops into one of the numerous supply closets scattered throughout the palace. After the morning he’d had, all he really wanted to do by this point was to finish with his work and return to the solitude of his cot.

“So, I heard you’s a filly now,” Velvet surprised him by leaning with a smirk around Eris, wide grin on her face growing larger with his look of horror.

“You know, come to think of it, he was kind of girly before,” Eris sniggered, patting the exasperated boy on the head.

“I am not girly!” William clamped his fists, excruciatingly aware that his voice was indeed quite a bit higher than he intended it to be.

“Okay,” she winked. “Check to see if your feet are wet, ‘cause your knee deep in de Nile.”

“I am not in denial!” he fumed through his clenched teeth.

“Yikes!” Eris smirked, holding up her hands in artificial terror. “Sounds like somebody’s still got thistles in their vagina.”

“THERE ARE NOT STILL THISTLES IN MY VAGINA!” William shouted.

“Good to hear it,” one of the passing maids giggled, traipsing off in the direction of the winding staircase at the eastern end of the hall. William’s face spasmed violently, and Velvet shook her head, grinning.

“Aw, come on,” she poked the snickering draconequus in the thigh. “Quit picking on ‘im, Eris.”

“Thank you kindly, Miss Velvet, but I daresay that she isn’t going to listen,” William replied with a hint of gratitude toward the filly.

Eris stuck out her tongue, which lolled wildly like loose taffy down her chin before snapping back up.

“Hey,” she smiled lewdly at William as he furiously snapped the supply closet shut. “Hey, Will. Wanna see what else I can do with my tongue?”

Velvet snorted, and shook her head again.

“I’ve gotta split,” the filly rubbed the back of her head sheepishly after a few seconds, her red mane flying around from the force. “Missus Trimming is makin’ me scrub out ventilation shafts, every one of ‘em. Can you believe that?”

“Pfft, ch’ya,” Eris leaned unconcernedly against the wall, rolling her eyes. “I had to clean out chamber pots. Seriously, who still uses chamber pots?”

William wordlessly tried to step around Eris, who only wrapped her tail around his midsection. He kept walking for a couple of moments afterwards, not even noticing that he wasn’t actually going anywhere.

“How ‘bout you, tiny?” the draconequus grinned at him, and his eyes narrowed as he pried her tail from around him.

“None of your business,” he grimaced. “And don’t call me tiny. Did you decide to bring my pants back yet?”

Eris responded by flipping up his skirt.

“Cut that out!” he jammed the hem down with both hands. “Velvet, would you kindly…?”

William turned toward the redheaded filly for assistance, but she was already gone. He sighed in annoyance, shoulders sagging.

“Geez. Am I really bugging you that much?” Eris frowned, crossing her arms with a very slight look of genuine concern on her face.

“Yes!” he threw up his own in vexation. “We wouldn’t even be in this situation if it weren’t for you!”

The draconequus started to angrily reply, but faltered shortly afterwards. Her mouth ever so slowly closed, and Eris’s eyes lingered on him. She cupped her chin in her paw, squinting her eyes and looking at the slightly breathless boy for a few quiet moments.

“Huh. Okay,” she nodded slowly before grinning again. “Let’s play a game.”

“… I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Nah, it’ll be great!” Eris threw an arm onto his shoulder enthusiastically, at which point William quietly exhaled through his nose. “No, but seriously. If you win, I’ll give you all of your pants back.”

“Fantastic,” he deadpanned as Eris steered him away, almost dragging him.

“And,” she smirked. “And, I’ll even sweeten the pot. If you win, I swear on Celestia’s wide white ass that I will totally leave you alone for the rest of the month.”

William’s ears perked up at this, and a spring of hope began to blossom. Of course, that was quickly shot down by his more calculating side, which vehemently protested the very thought of Eris keeping her word.

“What kind of game are we talking about?” William asked finally, and Eris’s toothy smirk grew wider.

“Hide and go seek.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“No, seriously!” Eris tried to look earnest, although really all she was doing was hiding her smirk behind her paw. “If you win, I’ll totally leave you alone. I won’t even talk to you for the whole month, how ‘bout that?”

The prospect was beginning to sound better and better to William as scenarios flashed through his mind, and he simultaneously pondered hiding places.

“What’s the catch?” he asked as Eris turned him around a corner, marching toward another end of the palace and passing a couple of curious pegasus guards.

“The catch,” she grinned even wider than before, “is that if you win, I leave you alone for a month. But if I win…”

She leaned down and cupped her paw over his ear, whispering intently.

“… You want me to what?!” he sputtered, cheeks burning fiercely.

“You heard me,” Eris giggled profusely. “If you lose, you hafta do it.”

William froze, his thoughts a blur.

“One whole mo~onth,” she said in a singsong tune.

He glowered up at her, face steely.

“… You’re on,” he answered breathlessly. “See you next month, Eris.”

William had already started away stiffly before Eris snagged the back of his collar. William jerked to a stop, whirling around in confusion.

“Uh, where do you think you’re going?” the draconequus cocked an eyebrow, hint of a sneer growing on her lips.

“To… play a game of hide and go seek…?” he countered. “Or do you not know the definition of ‘game’?”

Eris scoffed, throwing back her mess of white hair and rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, no. Follow me, tiny; I’ll show you where we’re fooling around at.”

William did not particularly care for just how ominous that sounded.

0-0-0-0-0

William was rather surprised by the massive amount of sheer greenery that stood before them.

Enormous emerald protrusions marred the landscape, clutching eagerly at the air in vain attempts to drag the sky itself down. High, towering walls of green zigzagged every which way, standing as silent sentinels to the whispering tinkle of the stone fountain behind them. Dark and looming as the gigantic labyrinths of Daedalus, William swallowed hard as he envisioned the entire hedge maze positively swarming with bloodthirsty minotaurs.

“Nope,” William blurted almost promptly, spinning roughly on the spot. His legs kicked riotously at free air when Eris caught him by the midriff with her tail, swinging him slowly back around.

“Ooh. Give up already?” she grinned at him with eagerness, carefully putting him back down. William flattened his uniform roughly, eying the hedge maze warily.

“Eris,” he stated cautiously. “That looks more like a death trap than any kind of ‘game’.”

“Aw, come on!” she whined. “We’re just foolin’ around for a bit, dude. It’s just a hedge maze.”

William thrust out an arm sideways at it, never dropping his deadpan gaze from her.

“For god’s sake, Eris,” William retorted. “Will you just look at how portentous and downright foreboding that thing looks?”

Eris snorted.

“Oh, yeah. Like the freaking bushes are all that ominious.”

Thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance.

“… Ignore that,” she continued. “Let’s do this!”

“No.” William crossed his arms over his chest. “There is no way in hell that I’m going in there.”

“Oh, good,” Eris leaned over him, hands on her hips. “Then that means that I win by default.”

William’s jaw dropped and he tried to speak, but his words failed him. Instead, he only wound up scowling at the smirking draconequus, and threw his hands down as he stomped toward the hedge maze.

“Fine,” he burned, tramping along the grass angrily.

“Whoa, hold up!” Eris scuttled after him. “Rules, tiny. Rules.”

“Since when do you care ab-”

“First!” she interrupted him. “First, you gotta get all the way through to the other side, without me finding you. If I find you, you lose.”

“… Eris, that is not hide and-”

“Secondly,” she pushed him ahead. “You only get a ten second head start before I come in after ya.”

William blinked, stumbling.

“Wait, what?”

“Nine, eight-”

“Eris, that isn’t-”

“Six, five…!”

William swore under his breath, darting off into the menacing archways and through the maze as fast as his feet would carry him. He pounded across the ground, rapidly taking as many twists and turns as he could to put distance between himself and the draconequus. It wasn’t long before William was completely out of breath, but the looming prospect of what would happen should he fail spurred him onward. It just wasn’t fair; it wasn’t a game of hide and seek at all, it was cat and mouse!

Left, right, right, left, right, left, left again, right – no matter how William tried to remember which way he went, he couldn’t seem to remember quite where the last turn was. Everything looked exactly identical, and the fear of being caught pounded like his heartbeat in his ears.

William frowned when he came to yet another fork, uncertain of which way to turn.

A rapid rustling from behind one of the bushy walls to his left made his skin prickle, and thinking quickly, William hurriedly tore a bit of cloth from the end of his skirt and jammed it roughly onto one of the leafy barriers to the left before darting down the fork on his right. He allowed himself a tiny grin, turning sharply again as he hoped his distraction would prove useful.

And, for a few minutes, he believed that it did. William was discouraged to find yet another dead end, the massive wall of greenery almost laughing back at him. Thinking furiously as to the directions he had bolted down, William swiftly ripped another small piece from the hem of his uniform before sticking it on another random offshoot of the maze, quickly hurrying in the opposite direction. Hopefully, Eris would only grow more confused with the more scraps she found, giving him a little extra time to escape.

His feeble smile faded quickly when he discovered a small arrow shaped from pebbles pointing directly at him. William’s heartbeat picked back up again, and his eyes darted in as many directions as they could. Eris must have already been there… or was laying a trap for him.

Something whistled jarringly overhead, making him jump.

William scanned the sky in panic, but found nothing. Urged onward yet again, William fought the urge to simply begin digging through the walls in desperation. That would lead to panic, and panic would cause capture to ensue. He couldn’t afford to lose to Eris, no matter the cost.

With bolstered determination, William spotted a wooden bench smack dab in the middle of the maze, adjacent to another of the stone wishing well fountains similar to the one just outside the hedges, and William tucked away the area for reference. It was likely that he was somewhere around the center, and-

Violent swooshing caught his attention yet again, and once more he looked upward in nervousness only to find nothing. He nearly let out a breath of relief when he heard Eris’s taunting call from somewhere behind him.

“Yoo~hoo! Where are you?” the draconequus called out to him teasingly. “Kitty Eris is going to find the little mouse~y…!”

Dread deafening him, William was struck with another idea. He feverishly tugged off his shoes, dunking them both straight into the water fountain. Throwing a harried look over his shoulder in fear, William jerked them away and began slapping them against the ground down another random path, and was swift to jam them hard into one of the hedges to hide his shoes. Without pause, he scurried as fast and silently as he could in another opposite direction, his bare feet sliding over the grass like a pair of ghosts as his pursuer drew in closer.

William bolted harder, feet making painfully loud noise as he nearly tripped over a root in his zeal to escape. Heart banging loudly against his ribcage, William stifled his strained breathing with one hand, sneaking down yet another path in what he urgently wished were the correct one.

It was then that something occurred to William.

What if there was no exit?

Clearly Eris had been here before if she knew about it, and that left William at a further disadvantage. Panic rose in his chest again, and he vainly fought it back in favor of tramping onward. He didn’t have to outrun her, he only had to outsmart her. So long as he could leave enough false clues, eventually Eris would slip up and make a mistake, leaving him ample time to escape the maze. Sweat beaded along his back and forehead, and William found himself at his umpteenth dead end.

“Dammit!” he clenched his fists. Once again, William heard a tight zipping overhead, and he almost caught a sight of something this time – however, all he could see was a tiny, almost imperceptible streak of blue.

“Ah-ha!”

William clapped his hand over his mouth in terror, but too late – he could already hear the draconequus fast approaching. Forsaking all attempts to stay on the path lest he get caught, William violently began tearing into the nearest leafy wall next to him. It was surprisingly ample, but also very thick; William had difficulty even squeezing his arm through. Another surge of adrenaline pressing him to action, William jammed his whole head into the blockade, desperately kicking to clamber through. He managed to fit his entire torso through the hole, almost there…!

Kicking and squirming faster and faster, William clutched uselessly as he tried to squash himself through the opening, up to his waist… almost out, almost out!

William shrieked when he felt something grab his ankle, dragging him roughly back through the hole.

“Gotcha!” Eris whooped in victory, and William wriggled and gasped when she tickled him mercilessly.

“Le-leggo!” he tried in vain not to laugh as she targeted his armpits, pinning him to the ground.

“Nuh~uh…!” she giggled, snatching his wrists and continuing her assault with the fuzzy tip of her tail. “I thought you said you weren’t ticklish?” Eris grinned as he kicked hopelessly at nothing.

“I give up, I give up!” William laughed hysterically as she tickled his stomach, tears streaming down his face as he gasped for breath. “You win, I give up already!”

“My favorite words,” she finally released him, where he lay winded and twitching. “Looks like ya lose, tiny.”

The last fragments of William’s laughs were cut short by her words, and the looming sense of dread returned as he stared up at the cloudy sky.

“… Oh, god, I should never have agreed to this.”

“Probably not,” Eris admitted with a smirk. “I won, fair and square. Time for my prize.”

William moaned quietly into his palms, closing his eyes.

It was definitely going to be one of those days.

0-0-0-0-0

Rainbow Dash stared up at the faded paintings of fillies all over the exterior of the two story brick building, the stonewashed and rain bleached images seeming even gloomier up close.

It pained her to refrain from taking off straight to Canterlot, but she had made a promise. Even if there was still that little niggling voice in the back of her head telling her that she was probably fast enough to make it there and back without Pinkie Pie even knowing…

Rainbow Dash shook her head, wiping the thoughts from her mind. She just needed to stay calm, go find Scootaloo and work things out without anything getting any worse than it had to.

Daisy Seed’s Home for Fillies, the tacked on sign read, which was nearly as worn as the paintings themselves. Rainbow Dash blew a puff of air up through the bangs of her mane, knocking hard on the heavy wooden door a couple of times before entering. A tinkling bell sounded above her, and her eyes adjusted to the dimness of the building shortly afterwards.

“Oh, hello, there!” a slightly pudgy brown mare beamed at her, ceasing her taping of pictures to the wall next to a stack of filing cabinets. Her equally dusty coffee colored mane fell over her eyes, but she paid it no mind – and judging from the cutie mark of a bundle of wilting sunflowers on her flank, Dash already guessed who the chipper mare might be. The only light in the room came from the wide window behind a small desk in front of it on the far wall.

“Daisy, right?” she predicted, and the coffee colored earth pony radiated at her speculation.

“Nope!” the mare answered. “That’d be my grandmother, dearie – you can call me Miss Root. But all the fillies ‘round here call me Rooty – Tooty, just so y’know!”

Root had an unexpectedly thick accent, almost bovine, but she didn’t question it.

“Oh. Uh, ‘kay. Root,” Rainbow Dash cleared her throat, looking around at the grayish and dingy entrance room, almost creepily completely covered in pictures of fillies of all sorts. She even started looking for Scootaloo’s face out of habit, but didn’t find her. “I’m actually here to see somepony.”

“Oh, really?” Root perked up, dropping the roll of tape onto her desk eagerly. “Well, I’m sure-”

“Uh, just to visit,” Rainbow Dash clarified. “I was really just wanting to talk to Scootaloo for a few minutes, it’s really important.”

“Ah, so sorry t’tell you, dearie,” the coffee colored mare shook her head without a single ounce of remorse. “Little Miss ‘breaks-all-the-rules’ isn’t here, she already left.”

“Where to?” Dash pressed with urgency.

Root shrugged casually, gathering up a few more washed-out photographs from the top of her desk. She almost asked why she had pictures of fillies and colts if it was an orphanage for just fillies, but waited for her answer to the first question instead.

“I think…” Root leisurely began at last, and Rainbow Dash’s wings were almost clamped against her sides in irritation of the seemingly deliberate slowness. “You know, dearie, I think I know where she went to, come to think of it!”

“Where?” Rainbow Dash tapped her hoof nervously against the floor, worry for the filly starting to kick up again. “Where did she go?”

“Oh, you know,” Root waved her hoof lazily. “Off to see one of her little friends there, don’tcha know. Some little rich thing, you know how these kinds of fillies are – always hanging around the more popular or richer ones out of jealousy.”

“Name?” Dash really was tapping her hoof against the floor, although she wanted confirmation first.

“Hmm. You know…” Root rubbed her chin distractedly, making Rainbow Dash want to shout at her for being so slow to answer. “I think it might’a been, oh… Tiara, maybe?”

“That’s all I needed to know,” Rainbow Dash whirled on the spot, marching back out into the daylight, if only to get away from the irksome mare. Her mind roiled as she trotted, and she was already panting with the effort of her strides.

Scootaloo was at the Rich residence, for sure. If she wanted answers, she had to get… to…

Her thoughts eventually came to a screeching halt, although her legs didn’t. Scootaloo was over at the Rich residence. The marks on her little body had to have come from somewhere, didn’t they? And William, he had been there before and had come back home trying to hide similar marks…!

Rainbow Dash scolded herself for her folly, wondering how she could have been so stupid as to think that they might have been self-inflicted. She should have seen it before!

It all clashed together so seamlessly, it made perfect sense. It would seem that Mister Rich was having a bit of fun with the young of Ponyville.

Rainbow Dash’s blood boiled at the mere thought, head swimming with the sheer level of outright hate that made her skin burn. He was abusing Scootaloo, he had harmed William, he hurt her little colt! How many others had he harmed, just how long had he been getting away with it?

It was a while before Rainbow Dash even realized that she had been galloping the entire time, and blasted into the air without another moment’s pause. She pumped her wings powerfully, anger stinging her chest and pushing her on even faster as sound was torn from her ears. Dash knew the resounding boom would follow such a swift takeoff, but she was neither bothered that she couldn’t hear it nor even remotely interested.

The only thing that occupied her mind now was hunting down Filthy Rich and beating him black and blue.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

DA NA DA NA NA NA.
MOUSETRAP.

Game Of Thrones

0-0-0-0-0

Damn you, Eris. Damn you straight to the lowest imaginable pits of hell, you unbelievably vicious, nasty...!

William let out a nervous breath, blowing a strand of hair from his face. Sweat seemed to be collecting on him in an unexpectedly uncomfortable manner, and a cool breeze wafting through the castle’s hall tickled the back of his neck. Surely this was more of Eris’s idea of his punishment than her ‘prize’.

“Ain’t got all da~ay,” Eris hummed in a singsong tune just behind him. William released another contemptuous breath, bare feet padding over the shined floors as the draconequus marched behind him.

“Yes, fantastic,” he growled, although his voice was a little croaky from how tightly his chest seemed to be constricting from the panic. “This is so stupid, Eris.”

“That just makes it funnier,” she sniggered, doing little to stifle her noise. “Come on, it’s not such a big deal. It could be worse, you know.”

William shook his head as he crept down the hallway, keeping as close to the stone walls as possible. He was already tempted to make a run for it and hide in the nearest place that he could find, somewhere that he could calm down and focus. Eris didn’t seem to be having any troubles of the sort, and it only served to infuriate him further.

“It isn’t funny. It’s stupid. It’s so, so stupid Eris oh god I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.”

Eris shushed him, biting her own lip to force her giggling down as she too began to sneak along the wall.

“Ready?” she nodded toward the open doorway ahead, nearly dancing back and forth with anticipation.

“I swear, Eris, I am never speaking to you agai-”

“Ready?” the draconequus pushed him forward, and William swallowed the words along with his pride. It was no easy feat, and he felt them stick in his throat on the way down as he held his head high and marched straight toward his certain demise.

Trimming absentmindedly took a long draught from her midday tea, letting the very faint flavor of cinnamon swill over her tongue for a moment. The clink of her saucer muted the sound of crinkling paper as she wordlessly packed away the files, a pleasantly warm breathe of summer air finally drifting in through the open window behind her.

Lilac Blossom – employment terminated on grounds of disobedience. Location unknown.

Rain Dropper – employment terminated on grounds of disobedience. Location unknown.

Copper Shoe – employment terminated on grounds of disobedience. Location unknown.

Amethyst Banks – employment terminated on grounds of disobedience. Location unknown.

Velvet Slipper – employment currently questioned.

Trimming latched her desk drawer shut, loose letters shuffling over her files. She closed her eyes and took another breathe over her cup of tea, letting the scent drift up to her nose before finishing it off. It was so rare that she got to relax in a place that demanded her constant attention, and she felt a momentary sliver of sympathy for the princesses. But it didn’t last long – after all, when was the last time she had seen Princess Celestia clean up anything?

She frowned slightly, calmly sliding her cup and saucer to the side to complete her paperwork. She then picked it back up idly, toying with it in one hoof. It wouldn’t be much longer before the Velvet filly was off of her employment roster, just like the other replacements. There had been too much stress lately, too many problems with the uppity brat. Constantly asking question after question, always being a nuisance. But a nuisance she could handle, what she couldn’t handle was-

Trimming’s thoughts were rudely interrupted by the sound of a loud squawk, which made her nearly jump out of her seat in shock.

“SQUEAK SQUEAK I’M A MOUSE!” William bellowed in her face, even leaning over her desk as he held up his fingers over his head to form a couple of imitation mouse ears before promptly spinning on the spot and streaking absolutely stark naked out of her office, nearly tripping over himself in the process.

It was followed by a bout of hysterical laughter and the patting of footfalls, and then silence.

Missus Trimming was still staring at the doorway, mouth hanging agape when she finally dropped her saucer with a loud crack to the floor.

0-0-0-0-0

She wasn’t just going to pummel him; Rainbow Dash was going to break Filthy Rich’s face off.

Rainbow Dash let slip an almost steady stream of foul words, each of which were torn from her lips the moment they passed. The ground below morphed into a slushy green blur as she tore through the sky, her target soon appearing on the horizon.

The high brick walls of Rich Manor loomed in the distance, clawing the sky like thick, dirty fingers. All that filled her mind was a profound rage, powering her hell bent fantasies of just what she was going to do to the sick stallion once she got her hooves around his disgusting neck. Dash’s hooves were already clenching and unclenching, like she could strangle him from a distance. However, her hooves met nothing but wind resistance, and she pressed onward.

The fires burning deep within fueled her, and pressured her to blast through the air like a bullet. Rainbow Dash skidded when she landed, kicking up dust and galloping straight over the grassy and well kempt lawn of the manor. She hardly even slowed, wings pumping just as hard as her strides as she bounded right up to the large, slightly intimidating double doors beneath the masterfully carved awning.

Bang!

Dash’s hooves slammed hard into the doors, and she shoved them viciously as the coolness of the manor drifted over her. She didn’t even slow to allow her eyes time to adjust properly.

“Filthy, you motherFUCKER!” Rainbow Dash screamed so loudly that she thought her voice would go hoarse, every muscle in her body as tight as piano wire. “Where the FUCK are you!?”

“Missus Pots,” she heard the slightly concerned sounding drawl of Filthy Rich emanating from somewhere off to the right. “It’s not that Miss Top again, is i- oh, hello.”

Filthy blinked up at her as she stomped angrily toward the dining area, where the tan stallion sat holding a newspaper over an open briefcase at the opposite end of the table. A half-filled glass of ruby colored wine sat directly before him, along with its mostly filled emerald glass bottle. Like he hadn’t even done anything wrong, Filthy just stared at her in dim surprise, as if she were only a mildly interesting sight that was distracting him for a bare moment. The sight only made her even more furious, and Rainbow Dash’s hateful scowl etched itself more deeply onto her face.

“Can I… help you?” the stallion blinked again, the top corner of his newspaper drooping slightly.

“Eat shit and die you sick son of a bitch.

“Sorry, what?”

The words were hardly out of his mouth before Rainbow Dash had crossed the distance between them. No sooner had he had the chance to even blink that her hoof met his face – once, twice, three times. She struck him again and again, and Filthy kicked wildly to drop away from her. Dash stomped one of his legs savagely, incoherent shouts that didn’t even penetrate his ears as she stomped hard on him. Filthy yanked away, making a mad grab for the bottle-

Rainbow Dash beat him to it, violently punching him in the left eye. Filthy dropped with the pain, crying out as he was kicked over his own upturned chair. Another malicious timed kick found its way to his chest, the next few raining down on his poorly protected stomach and beating the air out of his chest. His vision spun wildly, and Filthy strained to pull himself away from the maddened mare. The sound of shattering glass filled the air, and almost instantly Filthy found himself powerfully slammed against the wall as the jagged end of the broken bottle began jabbing forcefully against his throat.

Hardly had it even begun to draw blood that it was torn away, his gasping breath silenced by the screeching of one of the housekeepers.

“Get the hell out of my way!” Rainbow Dash screamed, brandishing the broken bottle like a sword at the aging mare that stood protectively over Filthy’s battered form.

“Rainbow Dash?”

Her head whirled toward Scootaloo’s voice, who stood in shock and terror just in front of an equally horrified Diamond Tiara.

“Scootaloo!” Dash breathed, a hint of relief in her voice that the filly seemed to be relatively unharmed, but thoroughly upset. “You get out of here, I’ll take care of this sack of shit.

“Then you go through me!” Missus Pots bellowed furiously, and Dash even started to raise the bottle before she was cut off by Filthy Rich’s cough. Rainbow Dash was equally surprised to see Diamond Tiara zipping in panic to her father, Scootaloo close behind.

“Scoots!” Rainbow Dash shouted more intensely, slowly lowering the toothed edge of the broken bottle as it began to fall from her hoof. “I told you to get out of here!”

“What is wrong with you?” Diamond Tiara balked in dismay at Rainbow Dash, who was slowly developing a queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Why?” Dash’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, flicking between them all. “Did he get you, too?”

“… What?”

“Don’t lie to me!” she stamped, reaffirming her grip on her makeshift weapon, the worn old maid’s eyes never leaving her as she tried to help the coughing stallion to stand. “I know he’s been abusing you, just like he did my son!”

Even Filthy Rich managed to stop his shabby wheezing long enough to recoil and finally stare at her.

“That,” his eyes narrowed sharply as his stance became more resolute. “Is a dreadful and outright falsehood.”

“Don’t lie to me!” Rainbow Dash jabbed the bottle at him again, anger boiling in her chest. “I’m not fucking stupid, I saw the marks!”

“… Oh, buck.”

This time, the exclamation came not from Filthy Rich, but from the stunned Diamond Tiara. The stallion was very silent for a long stretch, before he finally turned his head weakly to look at her.

“Diamond Tiara?” he asked quietly. “Is there something that you would like to tell me?”

“It’s-it’s all my fault,” she breathed shakily, a haunted gleam hanging over her face.

“It’s not abuse!” Scootaloo defended in a panicky tone, holding up her hooves. “It’s not, I swear – just, just-just-just, aw, geez! Rainbow Dash, please – oh, please, but that down…!”

Rainbow Dash looked back and forth between the fillies, her mind abuzz as the rage silently began subsiding, leaving only a very confused, sickened feeling clawing at her belly.

“Oh. Ohhhh, dear,” Filthy sighed wearily, cupping one of his black eyes with his spare hoof, the other leaning tenderly on the supporting weight of Missus Pots. “This is about your mother, isn’t it Diamond Tiara?”

The filly blushed deeply and her mouth opened and closed a couple of times, but she said nothing.

“That’s what I thought. After this, you and I are going to sit down, and then we’re going to have a nice, long heart to heart. And you’re going to be completely truthful with me this time, along with your… friend. Understood?”

“Y-yes daddy.”

“I-I-I don’t…” Dash shifted back and forth uneasily, the broken bottle gently slipping from her grasp as the weight of the situation at last began crushing her.

“Miss Rainbow Dash,” Filthy cleared his throat loudly, straightening up. The housekeeper released him instantly as he stood, and even though he was clearly injured and bleeding from several small cuts, he stood just as tall and firmly as he had before. “I would suggest that you remove yourself from the premises immediately.”

By this point, the color had all but drained from the pegasus’s face, and she nodded hazily before retreating from whence she came.

Nopony moved an inch. It was uncomfortably silent for a long moment before Filthy Rich sighed again.

“… Damn shame. Knew I should have saved that bottle for tomorrow. Good year.”

0-0-0-0-0

“Though I don’t suppose you would care to,” the guttural but commanding voice of the griffon across from her rolled through the air.

“You’re quite right again, Gestalt. How very observant of you,” Princess Celestia complimented him without a hint of sarcasm. His beaked scowl showed that she might as well have, and his furrowed brows dug deeper onto his elongated face. The Griffonian emperor’s already foul expression marring his dark, intimidating features that hanged on his face in a manner that strongly reminded Celestia of a gallows; he was certainly gloomy enough, even if nearly everything about his surroundings seemed to be actively resisting his disconsolate attitude. Celestia had even personally picked the doilies for their little teatime chat.

Oddly, the Griffonian emperor didn’t seem to notice much at all this time.

The heavily armored griffons to his either side shared an uncomfortable look when their ruler’s silence grew even longer, his dissatisfied expression blatant on his face.

“… Fine,” the gloomy griffon finally spat, anxiously rising as his guards followed his lead. “You will have it, should you uphold your end of the bargain. But neither I nor my province shall be held responsible for your… excursions, Celestia.”

“Completely understandable,” she calmly lifted her alabaster wings into a tighter position and stood with him. “You have my word, Emperor Gestalt. Same time next week, sugar beak?”

Gestalt met her transparently false enthusiasm with an equally powerful frown, and against all odds, his face somehow managed to stretch even further into an angry position. Even one of his guards looked a little put off.

Instead of speaking, Emperor Gestalt merely lifted the hem of his gilded traveling cloak with a few muttered curses, heading proudly toward the exit of Celestia’s meeting room. He never could stand the stench of chamomile tea. However, no sooner had his talons wrapped around the door handle that the double doors themselves were blasted wide open, and Gestalt was nearly bowled over by what appeared to be the most enormous, nigh hairless upright mouse that he had ever seen.

“SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!” it shrieked, completely knocking him over and instantly retreating in the same motion, the high pitched piping carrying on back down the mammoth halls without pause. So great was the Emperor’s shock and surprise that for approximately four seconds, all he could do was gawk after what was, quite possibly, the first ever account of assault by giant mouse that he had ever encountered.

“… What are you waiting for, idiots!?” he bellowed furiously at the two tan griffons flanking him, who had been staring just as much as he had as the ‘mouse’ continued its escape.

“May I?” Celestia stepped forward, halting the guards. It was almost impossible to tell, but from the twinkling gleam in her eye, one might almost have suspected that Princess Celestia was desperately trying not to laugh.

“After you,” one of the Griffonian guards blurted, earning a filthy look from their emperor as he struggled to stand. Celestia wasted no time in trotting eagerly after the apparently rogue William, the sound of Gestalts obscenities ringing in her ears long afterwards.

0-0-0-0-0

William bolted as fast as he could down the hallway, hiking up his legs and darting even faster when he heard the steps coming after him. He soundlessly cursed Eris with every single foul word he could think of, bare feet padding over the cold floor as he rounded another corner in the desperate hopes of avoiding his pursuers. Eris herself seemed to be long gone, already having cruelly abandoned him to his fate.

This only made William even angrier. His skin burned at her actions, although he really should have anticipated it. Regardless, there would be words with Eris the moment he got his clothes back.

Or blows, considering the circumstances.

“There you are!” Trimming’s powerful hoof grappled him sharply around the neck, halting his sprint. William silently scolded himself for losing himself in thought in the middle of an attempted evasion, heart still lodged in his throat as his anger was swiftly replaced with a jolt of fear.

“Oh god I’m so sorry it wasn’t my idea!” William blurted out all in one gust, desperately straining to catch his breath.

“Glad I caught you alone,” her golden eyes narrowed, her grip not loosening in the slightest. “I’m going to start with the easy one. Do you mind telling me why you’re not in uniform?”

William’s cheeks slowly began turning a ruddy red, and he shifted uncomfortably in the mare’s grasp before muttering something about Eris.

“I didn’t quite catch that,” Trimming stated quietly, cupping her hoof over her ear. “What? Do you really want attention from me that badly?”

“I-what?” William blinked, clasping his hands together and trying to cross his legs in a more efficient manner.

“You know, all you had to do was ask. I’m not completely heartless,” she rolled her eyes, one hoof slowly sidling up his back and nudging him forward. “But it doesn’t change the fact that I still have no answer for why you just ran into my office waving your tally whacker and squeaking like a mouse.”

At that, William seemed to have lost all ability to speak, let alone even look her in the eyes.

“… Get in my office.”

William’s stomach churned violently, and his heart felt somewhat heavier. He couldn’t even bring himself to think up any more curses for Eris – if anything, it was his fault for not distrusting her in the first place. Or worse, thinking that he could have outsmarted her… but at that, he honestly felt that he should have. That only made him feel worse, of course. He trudged on down the hall with an odd sense of déjà vu, feet feeling oddly heavy. He absentmindedly wished that he still had his shoes, and immediately afterwards felt very silly for even thinking it; he would have appreciated having his clothes back much more.

And, just as Missus Trimming’s office door swung coldly open, William was greeted with the warm basking light through her open window.

William sighed heavily, tramping inward with the elder mare close behind him, trapping him inside.

“Alright,” Trimming grunted, shooing him to the side as she began rummaging in one of the metal cabinets lining the walls. “What’s your excuse this time?”

William opened his mouth, but closed it again shortly afterwards.

“… Did somepony put you up to it?” she asked in a half conversational tone, at last digging out an article of clothing that William instantly recognized as one of the maid’s uniforms. “Somepony did, didn’t they? It was Velvet, wasn’t it? I’ll bet it was. You can go ahead and tell me if it was Velvet, you know. I never trusted her, too talkative. You still aren’t saying anything.”

Trimming frowned at him, snapping the drawer shut tightly behind her and slapping the uniform over her hoof.

“Yoo-hoo, anypony in there?” she asked tersely. “I asked you a question, Klaskovsky.”

“Sorry,” William shook his head awkwardly, hands still clamped protectively in front of himself. “I-I-, um, well…”

“Have said practically nothing to defend yourself,” Trimming deadpanned, finishing for him. “For Celestia’s sake, stop twitching.”

“I’m sorry, Missus Trimming. I find it increasingly difficult to maintain focus without my clothes.”

“Then why did you take them off?” she dangled the uniform in front of him. “Unless this little random outburst was for what I think it was for. In which case, at least buy me dinner first.”

For a moment, William was afraid that she was simply going to yank them back again if he didn’t answer, but she thankfully allowed him to grab it and stiffly try to jam the uniform on.

Trimming’s eyes never left him as he struggled with it.

She let out a quiet, almost imperceptible annoyed sigh, motioning for him to turn around.

“Stop fidgeting, idiot. Let me get the buttons,” Trimming said flatly, forcing him to stand still.

“Er… you had… more of these…?” William's fingers danced distractedly over the familiarly frilly bottom of the too small uniform.

“Filly Scouts motto, always be prepared,” she responded dryly, finishing off another button halfway up his back. One of her hooves lingered over his his back, the other resting easily around his belly for a couple of moments as she paused. “What do you think, genius? You should be grateful that there were spares that you neglected to put with the rest of your belongings. Half of the new staff usually does it. I’m honestly not all that surprised.”

William tried to stand still, eyes lingering on a crack in the wall. What bothered him so much wasn’t that Missus Trimming oh so conveniently just happened to have another uniform that (mostly) fit him, but the way she talked about it. As if it were nothing. In fact, it was Trimming’s complete lack of emotion in her tone that was really beginning to put him off – he would have expected her to be much angrier.

"You could at least thank me."

“Um… tha-thank you, Missus Trimming.”

“Don’t mention it,” Trimming said without a hint of satisfaction. “Now sit down.”

William complied, quietly noting that she didn’t ask for any more explanations.

She finally settled into her chair, the sunlight masked behind her as she resumed her place behind her desk and glowered at him. William didn’t try to meet her stare, instead staring down at his hands that he had folded neatly in his lap.

“… I can almost tell what you’re thinking,” Trimming at last mused aloud, startling him. “It’s like I can see the gears grinding in your little head, still trying to figure out why I haven’t asked certain questions yet.”

William remained silent.

“I think we already both know what the answer will be. So how about a different question; what am I going to do with you? Hmm?”

Trimming’s hooves silently tapped together to form a steeple, and her golden eyes narrowed a little.

“I get the feeling that we’ve had this conversation before, William.” She ruminated, eyes boring a hole in him. “I don’t like repeating myself, but it seems you make me. Funny, the traits you share… What to do with you. What to do with you, what to do.”

Still William said nothing, and she exhaled quietly.

“You know,” Trimming said conversationally. “I was in a pretty good mood. For once, I mean. It’s fairly rare for me. I was minding my own business, trying to enjoy a little peace and quiet. Had I known that my office would be noisily invaded by a filthy miniature stallion penis, I would have taken different steps.”

Although he remained just as silent, William slowly but surely began turning a heated color of rusty red.

“Is that just how you get your jollies?” Trimming cocked an eyebrow slowly. “Are you just anxious to embarrass yourself? There seem to be a steadily growing number of ‘incidents’ involving your little ‘exhibitions’. You’re practically desperate for somepony to give you special attention, is that it?”

“No,” William blurted, cheeks burning. “That’s not it at all!”

“Mm-hmm,” she hummed in an unconvinced manner. “I don’t know what kind of laws and regulations you have where you come from, but here, flashing your superior is still very much considered impolite. And by impolite, I mean you have no idea of the wrath you have unleashed today.

Trimming’s calm, quiet tone from before changed so sharply, so abruptly that William’s heart skipped a beat from the sheer unexpectedness of it. He then spent a great deal of effort attempting to convince himself that she hadn’t actually frightened him, and utterly failed to do so.

“Was it just me?” the mare asked, inspecting the bottom of her hoof in her quiet tone once again, eventually peeking up at the wide eyed boy. “Or did your little fantasy run its course all the way through the castle? Just how deep a hole have you dug yourself this time, human?”

A discreet double knock on Trimming’s heavy office door rang through the room, alerting them both. Within the same moment, a familiar crown-tipped white head poked through the doorway, smiling peacefully at them both. Relief flooded William, although he couldn’t quite place why. Perhaps it just had something to do with her tranquil appearance.

Or maybe it was because William would much, much rather face the wrath of an angry sun princess than Missus Trimming.

“Ah, there you are,” Celestia serenely peered down at the slightly quivering William. “I really should have expected that you’d end up here. Silly me, should have been the first place I looked.”

Missus Trimming had difficulty bowing to the princess, as she was struggling to contain an uncharacteristically powerful urge to laugh.

“Royally botched things up, didn’t he?” Trimming asked gleefully as she rose. “I apologize most sincerely for the little hooligans actions, your majesty. I assure you, the actions of this- of young Klaskovsky here in no way reflect the behavior of the rest of your sanitary staff, and he shall be punished accordingly.”

A tiny shiver ran all the way up from the base of William’s spine at the head maid’s words, and the subtle look slipped his way. It made him uncomfortable in an oddly unfamiliar manner, but provoked a low feeling of dread nonetheless.

It was at that point that William ceased attempting to convince himself that she did not scare him.

“Actually,” Celestia coolly intervened. “If you don’t mind, I believe I’ll be taking matters into my own hooves in those regards.”

“Interrupted you too, did he?” Trimming’s frown grew more pronounced.

“Of a sort. Along with the Griffonian emperor, who is now thoroughly determined to disembowel him and devour his entrails.”

It seemed rather odd to William how he could have been frightened of someone only moments ago, and watching an overpowering sensation of fear grab that same Missus Trimming and transform her features so rapidly. The color drained slightly from her face, and the words seemed to die in her very throat.

Were it not for the niggling worry that he would soon be horridly disemboweled, William might have taken in the sight a little more.

“Right, then.” Trimming nodded swiftly, and Celestia smiled kindly before leaving with a motion from her wingtip for William to follow. Just before he slipped out the door after her, he felt a soft touch on his shoulder that made him jump.

“Good luck.”

The door latched quietly behind him, leaving him standing in stunned silence as Princess Celestia slowly trotted away down one of the enormous hallways.

“… Coming?” she called lightly without looking over her shoulder, and William shook his head sharply before jogging after her.

“Yes, I-I am.” He bowed his head a little as he caught up to her, clasping his hands firmly behind his back. William’s shoulders bowed before long as they walked, almost in a meandering way.

“… Awfully quiet, aren’t you?” Celestia eyed him momentarily before nodding friendlily to a trio of passing guards, who all stopped to salute before continuing on their way to one of the castle’s many entrances. Try as he might to speak, William found that his tongue had mysteriously glued itself to the roof of his mouth.

“That was no joke, by the way,” she added after they had passed the guards, her voice low but loud enough that he could hear. “Emperor Gestalt hasn’t been that furious in ages. Real temper on that one, just like his father.”

William’s gaze slowly turned from the shining floor beneath his bare feet and gradually twisted up to Princess Celestia, who was watching him with an unrecognized gleam in her eye.

“There is no possible amount of apology that’s ever going to fix that, is there…?” William asked miserably.

“May I ask as to why you felt the need to burst in stark naked screeching at the top of your lungs?” Celestia asked cheerfully.

William swallowed hard, bitterly shaking his head.

“I-I lost a bet.”

“… Eris?”

“Eris,” he admitted abashedly, and to his vast surprise, the princess tittered.

“I surmised as much,” she trotted jovially, patting him lightly on the shoulder with one wingtip before turning him down yet another grandly decorated hall. “Ahh, the progeny of chaos are proving to be rather… entertaining.”

“It was all my fault, anyway,” William shook his head again, fidgeting with his hands as they walked. It took William a while to notice, although he finally did; he was no longer trying to keep up with Princess Celestia. At some point or another, she had begun walking in tempo to his steps. The realization alone threw him off, and words failed him.

“Really?” she pried curiously, glancing out the window at a cheerfully singing bird. “So, it was your idea to take off the clothing that I was assured that you would be quite attached to and streak through my castle like a broken firework?”

Heat flooded into his face, and William tugged mercilessly at the frills of his uniform.

“It’s that wretched draconequus!” he fumed, balling up the frills in his fists. “Everything about her drives me to point blank insanity, that wench will be the death of me!”

“… Wench?” Celestia paused in mid-step, staring at him. William froze as well, but eased up a little upon her unexpected giggle. “Oh, I think you and Lulu are going to hit it off well. You really should have arrived earlier, but I believe I know what the holdup has been.”

“Er… so-sorry? Am I not going to be-be punished…?” William blinked in confusion, nudged forward down the hall. Not only had Celestia seemed to have completely forgotten about his actions, but she seemed to be even more chipper than before.

“Ah, no need to be!” she nudged him forward again with her wingtip. “All of your wages are already being given back, I don’t see why I would need to add punishment to that. Unless you really want to be punished, in which case I could always pull some strings…”

“Actually, no, that’s fine!” he held up his hands quickly, showing his palms. “Not necessary, really!”

“I thought so,” she grinned smugly, but somehow didn’t seem to give even the slightest aura of being self-righteous at all. It was more of a roguish, playful smirk – one that uncomfortably reminded him of Eris. It was gone the next moment, though.

“But, in all seriousness,” Celestia’s smile faded, and her expression became grim. “If anything of this sort happens again, you shall be forcibly evicted from this palace. I’m certain that your family back home would not be very appreciative of the ramifications. Am I understood?”

“Yes ma’am.” William bowed his head sincerely, hands clasped together again.

“Oh, good!” she perked up immediately. “Fourth on the right, after the right turn.”

“… Sorry?”

“Luna’s chambers!” Celestia threw a wingtip into the air as she slowly trotted away. “You’re expected, young master Klaskovsky. “West wing is where my sister’s chambers lie – I'm going to give another attempt at damage control. Do try to stay out of trouble this time!”

“Y-yes ma’am! I mean, your highness!” he called after her, thoroughly baffled. He could have sworn that he heard another light titter of laughter, but it could have just as easily been his imagination. William stood blankly in the hallway staring at the spot where the princess had been only a short while ago, still trying in vain to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

Which, essentially, happened to be his ‘get out of jail free’ card.

He allowed himself a rare smile, continuing down the hall. It was doubtful that the princess would save him again, but he was certainly appreciative for it this time. William sincerely doubted that there would be no repercussions, that was nigh unavoidable. But for now, he had escaped – even if it was only temporary.

He stopped as he peered down another of the seemingly endless high halls, alabaster pillars casting long shadows over him.

Had Princess Celestia said the fourth after the right, or a right after the fourth?

William blinked, uncertainty nagging at him as he spied a long, wide spiraling staircase tucked neatly against the wall at the end of the giant passage. It was cast in a shadow that seemed to be nearly untouched by the sunlight, which he found strange – from the angle that the sun poured in generously through the windows, it should have been as bright as everything else. It drew his attention, and he cautiously peered up the staircase into the inky circle blackness levitating above.

He resisted the urge to sigh, certain that he had found the stairs to what must be Princess Luna’s personal tower. It was going to be a long, long climb.

0-0-0-0-0

The Dark Tower

0-0-0-0-0

“What were you thinking, Dashie?”

Pinkie Pie’s exasperated sigh resounded through the kitchen once again, and the pegasus’s eyes failed to connect to her own. Rainbow Dash was supposed to have been on weather duty, and due to her disregard for it that day the ensuing clouds had already begun to smother the sky, a hint of unneeded rain swelling above.

Dash’s bloodshot eyes meandered bitterly back and forth as she clutched her own emerald colored bottle, the cool wood of the cabinets beneath the sink nudging her wings close to her body. Pinkie Pie mimicked her sitting position, miserably slumped against the wall just across from her. Because of the way they sat, Pinkie’s back hoof was just barely bumping against Rainbow Dash’s, who was sprawled out opposite her.

“I don’t think I was,” Rainbow Dash finally croaked, swilling the hard cider around. Pinkie Pie took another long swig from hers, nearly emptying her bottle. Her flattened mane made effort to hide her face, but Pinkie resisted it to keep her eyes on the pegasus. “I was just… just mad.”

Pinkie said nothing, only slowly rubbing the ankle of her hoof against Rainbow’s for a moment, her eyes drifting off into the distance. Dash hated seeing her unhappy, downcast gaze at any time, but this time it seemed to strike a little closer to home. Like she had personally disappointed her.

“Rich said he’s not going to push charges,” Dash breathed, eyes locked onto Pinkie’s chest and staring right through it. The numbness on her tongue made it a little difficult to pronounce properly, and she chugged the rest of her cider before dropping it into the small pile between them. “Not if I turn myself in for ‘therapy’.”

Her scowl returned, tinged with bitterness and mild anger.

“He’s not bad,” Pinkie shook her head, which had begun to grow a little fuzzy. “He just wants you to get some help. I want what’s best for you too, Dashie.”

“I know. I know,” Dash’s drunken stare became more sullen as her eyes dropped away from the pink mare. Anything to avoid looking her in the eyes. Anything to keep from seeing that awful, disappointed and tearful look. “I know, Pinks. You know how I feel ‘bout hospitals ‘n the like.”

“This will be diff’rent, o-okay?” Pinkie coughed into her hoof, forcing herself not to slur. She gently set aside her bottle, blearily glowering at the steadily growing pile of glass in the floor that they had been making these past few hours. She leaned forward carefully, hoof resting on Rainbow Dash’s extended leg.

“I promise, Dashie. Ev-everything’ll be okay. Okay?”

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to reply, but simply shook her head.

“Don’t want to,” she muttered. “Jus’ quit looking at me like that.”

“Please, Dashie. I want you to Pinkie Promise me,” she looked at her seriously, brushing a lock of flattened mane from her face. “C’mon. Pinkie Promise me you’ll go. Please.”

Rainbow Dash failed to look at her for the longest time, but finally placed her own hoof on top of Pinkie’s with a dull nod.

“… I Pinkie Promise. Happy?”

“I’ll be happy again when you’re happy again.” Pinkie nodded solemnly. Her baby blue eyes started to tear up again, but she seemed to be fine with another harsh shake of her head.

“Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy,” Dash murmured, eyes hazily watching a distant image somewhere behind Pinkie Pie’s head.

“Hey.” She nudged her back hoof, forcing a tiny smile. “Hey now, don’t say that. Maybe thing’s – maybe it’ll all be okay.”

“… Maybe…” Rainbow Dash’s eyes slowly filtered down from whatever she had been looking at, her memory already fading. Her chest felt oddly heavy, but her mind was unusually sharp. It was likely that the alcohol was hurting her stomach, but perhaps that was just everything else and she was attributing it incorrectly. “Maybe we should have, you know…”

“Drunken sex on the kitchen table?” Pinkie winked at her.

“That one talk.”

The change was instantaneous.

“Wh- no, no no no!” Pinkie Pie cringed. “Dashie-”

“Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash hushed her with a bump of her hoof, by which they were still connected. “C’mon. I think… I think it’s time.”

“No, Dashie – we said we weren’t going to talk about it,” she pleaded, wringing her hooves. “We said-”

“I know what we said,” the pegasus crossed her hooves over her chest, but made no other movements. “I know, Pinkie. But maybe it’s time for it.”

Pinkie started to argue, but bit her tongue. She took an arduously long, deep breath, straining to keep herself under control.

“… Yeah,” her voice just barely began to crack. “Maybe.”

“I mean,” Dash shifted uncomfortably, dragging herself back to reality. “I mean, we knew we’d talk about breaking up eventually. ‘S why we never made anything, you know…”

“Official.” Pinkie Pie finished for her, glumly meeting her gaze at last. “We don’t have to.”

“Don’t have to make it official, or don’t have to break up?” she blinked, cracking open another bottle of cider.

“Rainbow Dash.”

Dash blurrily looked up at Pinkie, whose features were even more miserable than before.

“… Yeah, Pinks.”

“C’mere,” Pinkie struggled to stand. “I wanna show you something.”

Rainbow Dash watched her drag herself into another room, and she wearily forced herself to follow. She heard the sound of Pinkie Pie rummaging in one of the hallway closets for a few seconds before returning to the living room, flushed but a little more active.

“This,” Pinkie Pie carefully placed the clunky wooden box on the living room sofa, “I showed you this, right?”

“Yep.” She nodded eventually. “The music box?”

“My Granny Pie’s old music box,” Pinkie agreed as she wound up the key. A sad, slow and haunting tune with an oddly upbeat ring to it began to play, the tinkling tune drifting cheerfully through the air. “I used to love listening to this song.”

Pinkie Pie stared at it for a moment more and shook her head before turning to Rainbow Dash, standing a little straighter.

“Rainbow Dash,” she asked, her voice a little more husky. There was a strange look in her eyes, and a prickle began to raise on the back of Dash’s neck. “May I have this dance?”

“Pinkie Pie,” Dash replied slowly. “You’re acting kind of, uh… weird. I mean-”

“Please?” Pinkie’s voice started to crack again, and Rainbow Dash finally saw through the façade. There was a shard of sadness behind her eyes, regardless of which face she tried to hide it with. Pinkie wasn’t being particularly strange at all; she was trying to keep from breaking down.

The only sound in the air was that of the music box for a little while, neither of them making a single move.

Rainbow Dash ever so slowly cupped her hoof in Pinkie Pie’s, who gripped her tightly and pulled her into a warm hug. Pinkie Pie slowly guided her back and forth as they danced in unhurried tune to the music box, gradually spinning in a leisurely waltz. Pinkie rested her head on Rainbow Dash’s shoulder as they danced, gently spinning around and around.

“Maybe this is a good thing,” Pinkie hummed, although her voice was joyless. She struggled with her slightly shaking chest, straining with all of her might. “I mean, maybe a-a little t-time apart will be good for both of us. You k-know?”

“Yeah.” Dash gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, eventually embracing her with her wings and wrapping them over her shoulders. “I know you can’t be happy stuck with me all the time.”

Pinkie half snorted, her eyes burning.

“It’ll be a chance for some-some breathing room for the two of us, you know?”

“Sure,” Rainbow Dash’s muffled words were almost lost in Pinkie Pie’s mane as she pulled her closer. “It’ll… it’ll be a chance for you to spread your wings some more.”

“In a manner of speaking,” Pinkie let out a quiet, miserable giggle as she gently touched one of Dash’s wingtips. “Maybe this is what I need. Maybe it’ll –hic! – be a chance for me to be a more, y’know… complete mare.”

“Since you think I can’t make y’feel like a real mare,” Dash answered quietly.

“No. No, no, no. No, no…” she frowned, turning slowly with her. “… I mean, maybe.”

“Which means yes,” Rainbow Dash slurred bleakly.

“Why is it ‘no’ always means ‘yes’ with you?” Pinkie Pie hiccupped, now clinging more to Rainbow Dash than dancing.

“I know. You hate it.”

“I don’t hate anything about you, Dashie,” she forced herself to look up, her chest feeling weirdly empty. “I could never hate you, no matter what.”

“I know,” Dash answered, although her tone belied that she was not convinced.

“… I know that I love you,” Pinkie Pie sniffled, desperately trying to continue swaying along to the dwindling tune. “I know you love me, too.”

“I know that this – I just can’t, Pinkie,” Dash’s voice at last began to crack as well. “I know I hurt you, and I just can’t keep doing it…!”

“Don’t you get it?” Pinkie shook her shoulders lightly. “We’ve been over this – I don’t care if you hurt me or not!”

“I do,” Rainbow Dash stated bitterly. “I do, and I can’t –”

“You can!” she begged. “You can, it’ll all be fine! I don’t care if-if you hurt me sometimes, I don’t care about the weird stuff you do to me, I don’t care!”

“That’s not true, Pinkie Pie.” Dash tilted the crying mare’s face up to look at her. “I know you do. You’re one of the nicest, most caring ponies I’ve ever met. I know you are.”

“There’s plenty about me that you don’t know,” Pinkie Pie’s tears streamed quietly down her face and her shoulders trembled, but her voice was steady. They had long since stopped dancing, and Dash gradually started to pull away from her.

“I know you think that you’re messed up,” she scowled, old scars opening up the more she thought on it. “I also know that you aren’t anywhere close to –”

“Don’t you dare.” Pinkie’s voice became dangerously quiet, and even her shoulders stopped shaking. “Rainbow Dash, don’t you dare talk like that to me.”

Rainbow Dash pursed her lips, her anger fading.

“… I’m sorry,” she tried to let go of Pinkie Pie, but the mare held her firmly in her grasp.

“I know you are,” Pinkie breathed, the resentment in her voice not fading at all.

“I know you want me to be. And Pinks, I know some t-time apart is gonna be what you need.”

“What I need?” the anger rose right back up, her ears flattening against her head. “Oh, so now it’s my fault?!”

“That’s-that’s not what I meant to say,” she cringed, wings clamping tightly to her sides. “You know what I meant.”

“I know you’ve been completely bonkers lately! Maybe what you need is that hospital help after all, huh?”

Pinkie Pie stood standing away from her, her chest rising and falling heavily. She wanted to shout, she wanted to show Rainbow Dash just how angry with her that she really was. But from the wounded expression on her face, Pinkie really couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“I-I’m sorry, Dash-”

“I know you are.” The pegasus’s words were quiet, but cold. “I don’t need help. I know it, and you –you know it.”

“I know you still sneak into his room at night when you think I’m asleep.”

Rainbow Dash froze, her face taking on a pallid, chalky color.

“I already told you,” Pinkie softly touched her shoulder again. “I don’t care. We’re a family, Rainbow Dash. We-we have to stay together – I need us to be together, I need us…!” her voice broke as the tears started stinging her eyes again, but her hoof was briskly brushed away.

“Yeah, well… maybe I don’t.”

0-0-0-0-0

William let out a low whistle as he craned his neck, peering straight up into the inky blackness of the tower.

Of all the stairs William had ever seen, that particular tower had to have had more than all of the other stairs combined. It was a dim and shadowy climb, to be sure, but not one that he found particularly foreboding. Thoroughly impressive, but it was not quite sinister. Despite the lack of windows, there was still just barely enough ambient light to begin climbing without feeling that he would lose his footing. He let out a quiet sigh through his nostrils, feeling his way up the darkened steps with caution. The cool touch of the iron guardrail guided his hand, and his bare feet treaded over the equally chilly steps with trepidation. It slowly grew more difficult to see the higher that he climbed, as the steps seemed to have been painted as equally black as the walls.

Warmth unexpectedly met him as he climbed, and as he examined more closely, a dim light appeared to be emanating from somewhere far above. He paused after a while, his muscles already aching from the climb in the wide tower. Making the mistake of resting on the guardrail for a moment, William made an even worse decision and tried to look down.

The ground seemed miles away, and the prospect of falling to his death swiftly loomed in on him. A sharp hiss shot through his teeth as he gripped the guardrail for dear life, an unexpected shot of vertigo slamming him hard. A small whimper escaped his lips as he finally wrenched his gaze away from the yawning abyss below him.

William suddenly found himself much less enthusiastic to continue climbing.

Then again, he wasn’t particularly all that enthusiastic to begin with, but he was certifiably less eager now. With a weary heart, William forcibly kept as close to the wall as humanly possible. It occurred to him that he probably could have asked for someone to show him the way; but the thought of running back to Celestia just because he was afraid of heights made him feel absolutely ridiculous. He simply shook his head and kept up a slow but steady climb, making certain not to look over the ledge or so much as think about it.

He felt as if he had been climbing for hours before he finally reached the top of the stairs, a warm glow emanating from an unseen source. A large pair of thick iron doors stood before him, but swung open soundlessly at his touch. The high roof of the tower expanded out upon reaching the top, the architecture spiraling in fascinating spirals to form the ceiling. Patterns of all sorts, turns and whorls all coming together that seemed as if they had grown like ice over one another held him completely entranced for nearly a full minute before he realized that he had been simply standing in the hall with his mouth hanging open.

To William’s dismay, he saw no sign of Princess Luna. Instead, he found-

“More hallways,” he scowled, automatically trying to jam his hands into pockets that he did not actually have. “Marvelous.”

William frowned, carrying on and peering into one of the doorways. Much to his pleasure, the doorways led not to more hallways as he had expected, but to numerous rooms packed full with books. Books on black wooden shelves that rose all the way up to the high ceiling, books of every size and shape and color that drew his eyes like a moth to flame. He found his mouth hanging open once again as he discovered that not one, but all of the rooms were seemingly packed to the ceiling with books of all sorts. He wandered in to one, appreciatively taking in the fact that all were seemingly very well cared for.

He let his finger trail over the spiny back of a large red book on a shelf near him, mystified by the gilded letters carved perfectly into the side.

William jerked his hand back rather abruptly, however, when the spiny backed book shuddered at his touch.

“Rather late, aren’t we?”

Princess Luna’s voice nearly caused William to leap out of his skin, and he whirled on the spot with his heart struggling to punch its way out of his chest. Dark and imposing, the princess of the night seemed to deflect the very light off of herself. She shimmered with the shadows, the perplexing twinkling in her gracefully flowing mane seeming all the more elegant for the lack of light.

“Your princess ma’am highness!” he spluttered, catching his own verbal catastrophe only after he had blubbered it out of his mouth. His face burned, and for some strange reason, his heart only sped up no matter how he tried to force it back down. Princess Luna seemed unamused, but slowly raised an eyebrow.

“Not quite the reception I was expecting, I’ll admit,” the princess of the night nodded with a small smile perched on her lips. “May I ask what kept you?”

“I was naked,” William blurted truthfully, instantly regretting it.

“I… see.”

“That’s not really what it sounds like,” William desperately backtracked. “I mean, I was naked, but not deliberately – I mean, of course it was deliberate, but not because of me, because of my sister. I mean, she’s almost my sister, sort of; or rather, what I mean is that I was only naked because of her – which isn’t what it sounds like either, of course! Not that I was wanting to get naked around my sort-of sister – I mean, we were fooling around in the maze garden oh god that came out wrong!

William was nearly hyperventilating as he clasped his head, vainly attempting to jam the words back into his head.

Princess Luna displayed her saving grace with ease.

“You talk too much,” she said simply, resting one of her extensive wingtips on his small shoulders. “You will follow.”

“Y-yes ma- Princess,” he corrected himself, following closely behind her as she turned away. She trailed slowly away, mane billowing behind her mysteriously without wind. He found himself staring at it for a moment, carefully analyzing how it could have operated – the only way he could picture it was by some magical influence. He furrowed his brows, thinking heavily. Obviously the princess’s chambers were lit with magic as well, as he found no obvious light sources, nor even windows.

Right about then, William realized that he had been staring rather hard at Princess Luna’s curvy backside as she trotted slowly in front of him, and he abashedly turned his attention toward the ceiling.

“Here we are,” Princess Luna led him up yet another flight of steps, which William was all too glad there were only a few of. They led to a large set of double doors, inlaid with so many figures of painstakingly carved silver figures that he didn’t even know where to start. Strange runes that he did not recognize were written in gold around the edges. Ponies of all sorts seemed to come to life and dance across it as the massive doors swung inward silently. The breathtaking sight was cast into shadow as the princess’s magic lit rows of dimly glowing blue torches lining the walls, which William found thoroughly unnecessary as the afternoon light from the open balcony flooded the room with light.

It hadn’t occurred to him until then that she might have been showing off.

“This is amazing, William breathed, craning his neck up at the circular ceiling. A portrait of shimmering, shining stars seemed to have been painted on to crystal clear glass high above, giving the illusion of a brilliantly starry sky even in the middle of the day. Even more books stood in here, stretching all the way up and blending neatly in with the clever deception, almost as if the bookshelves themselves were holding up the entire sky.

“Why, thank you,” Princess Luna smiled kindly. “I rather like that one.”

“Did you do all of this yourself?” he nearly tripped over himself in awe over large colored pillows covering portions of the floor, the perfect illusion of a night sky distracting him. From the mammoth deep blue four poster bed on one side of the circular room opposite of an equally opulent writing desk equipped with more stacked quills than William had even seen on a single bird, William supposed that this must be both her bedroom and personal study.

“Indeed I did,” Luna nodded cheerfully. “Unless you mean the desk. That one was crafted by Zebrican druids. Very nice, from the ambassador herself.”

Princess Luna settled herself peacefully on top of one of the gargantuan blue pillows laid on the floor, snuggling comfortably on it and motioning for William to do the same. He cautiously sat Indian legged on one of the much smaller ones, holding his ankles tightly since his hands had nowhere else to go. Unfortunately, it made keeping the uniform cautiously in place a hazard, but he forced it down.

“Er…” he cleared his throat finally. “This-this is all very nice, Princess, but, um… If I may ask, am I right in assuming that the cleaning duties I was made aware of was a ruse?”

“Not at all,” Luna sniffed. “The royal toiletries appear to be malfunctioning. Get busy.”

William blinked, almost clambering back to his feet before he caught the alicorn giggling good-naturedly.

“That would be a joke,” she beamed. “I must admit, you are far more serious than your sibling.”

“I – sorry,” he muttered sheepishly, a small grin of his own sneaking onto his face against his will.

“Nonsense!” Princess Luna tittered, smiling at him. “Now, I do not believe that we have been properly introduced, Chaos Spawn. You may call me Luna for the time being, young one. Might I ask for your name?”

Although he suspected that she already knew, William followed the conversation pliantly.

“My name is William Klaskovsky, your highness. A pleasure to meet your acquaintance,” he nodded politely.

“And more courteous than your genealogical other,” Luna’s kind smile grew.

“I take it you’ve already met Eris?” he inquired quietly.

“Of a sort,” her grin grew a little wry. “She was rather insistent upon averring that I should forcefully insert impossibly large objects where Celestia’s sun does not shine.”

“That sounds like her,” William laughed weakly.

“Rather quick to change her tune, though,” she mused, elated to indulge in gossip. “How long did it take?”

“Er… how-how long did what take? Your high- um, Luna?”

The princess blinked, confusion showing.

“Did she admit nothing?” she asked, tilting her head. “What of your games? You, young William, appear to be nothing of what I have heard.”

“Sorry, what?”

“I was informed that you were of the adventurous, gambling sort,” Luna continued. “So much so that your sister besought my assistance. She won your game, I assume? Eris tells me that she has never once won against you,” she chatted, utterly oblivious to the boiling rage that had up until then been steadily building inside William as the truth finally dawned on him.

“That cheating bitch!” William’s words were under his breath, but he still got the feeling that Luna heard him.

“Something the matter?” she inquired, eyes twinkling.

William cleared his throat a little too loudly and shook his head, mind full of visions of awful, surprisingly violent justice.

“Very well then,” Luna pressed on, leaning forward a little. “If I may pry, I find the two of you most curious. Do you mind?”

“Er… no?” he tried not to shrug his shoulders, uncertain of where she was taking her point.

“Do keep in mind, young one,” Luna added with a hint more seriousness. “Should you care to remain silent, I shall not find it offensive. I hold great regards to secrets.”

Thoroughly more nervous, William began fidgeting with his fingers, drumming them over his ankle in trepidation. However, his unease lessened considerably when he saw her wink jovially at him.

“Maybe I’ll share some of mine if you share some of yours. Hmm?”

“If-if that would help.”

“Excellent. How precisely have you been managing to do it?”

“Do… what, exactly? Erhm, Princess?”

Luna blinked, tilting her head a little again. The small black tiara atop her head somehow managed to stay on, baffling William.

“I was under the impression that your magical energies had been suppressed by Celestia,” she explained. “I was rather eager to discover what dreams lie in the minds of the Chaos Spawn – however, I have discovered nothing, and my curiosity has grown immense.”

William nodded in understanding.

“If you want to know the truth…” he started slowly, and he watched in slight amusement as the Princess leaned in closer, hanging on his every word.

“… I have no idea.”

Luna threw back her head and laughed, relaxing a little.

“As I should have expected,” she chortled, shaking her head. “Eris claimed nearly the same.”

“I would have thought that Eris might know,” William nodded carefully. “She’s the one with magical abilities, not me.”

“No?” Luna raised an eyebrow a little, surprised.

“I’m afraid not. I only study it, you see,” he admitted. “Most of the books I’ve read on theoretical unicorn magic has been directly from Miss Twilight’s personal library, which she’s been kind enough to lend to me on occasions.”

“Is that right…” she hummed to herself, gears turning.

A subtle change seemed to come over the princess, and William watched as she chewed her lower lip.

“Would you like to become my student?”

“Sorry, what?”

William clamped his mouth shut too late for his outburst, but Luna smiled at his confusion.

“Celestia’s pupil appears to have done rather well for herself,” Princess Luna clarified. “And, I believe that there is much that I could teach you on the principles of magic. Should you wish it, of course,” she left her statement hanging, and William cringed at his failure to notice that she was patiently awaiting a reply.

“Yes!” he nodded overenthusiastically. “I mean, absolutely, your highness!”

“Marvelous!” she almost radiated – and for a moment, William thought that she really was radiating light, as the glow in her flowing mane seemed to become a little brighter. Or perhaps it was just a trick of the light, and William was paying too much attention to her details. “I would be glad to teach what I may. In exchange, however…”

A heavy rock settled on the bottom of William’s stomach, and his hopes began to falter.

Luna’s look became a little more serious, and William shifted restlessly. It would seem that there wasn’t a thing in the world that didn’t have a price, and the realization struck William rather hard at that moment. It was almost as if his heart became physically heavier from the comprehension.

“Will you tell me what your dreams are like?”

William’s face flushed deeply, and he forced down the insane urge that had been growing in his fingers to drag up the hem of his uniform. Relief flooded him, and he gripped his ankles tightly, nearly falling off the pillow.

“Is-is that all?” he asked swiftly, ears burning.

“For one year,” Luna instructed, magicking down a sizeable book from one of the many shelves and levitating it in a stunning azure glow before him. He cautiously reached out and grabbed it by the spine, the light weight surprising him. The book itself was blacker than ink, and the hard cover almost seemed to shimmer in his hands. It took him a moment to realize that he wasn’t actually breathing, instead gawking like a fool at the shiny object.

“What-what is this made of, exactly?” William asked in fascination, carefully cracking open the old book as the scent of well-kept pages met his nose. It stirred something inside of him then, almost like an old memory.

“I don’t think it would be wise to say as of now,” Luna’s smile faded a little, her gaze clouded for a single moment. “Know only that you need not return it to me.”

“I-I can keep this?” he grinned, heart racing.

“Of course. The Book of Dreams is… well,” she smiled mischievously back at him. “Write in it. That should suffice.”

“Thank you very much, Princess,” William bowed his head gratefully, clutching the book tightly.

“You are quite welcome.” She stood slowly, and William imitated her. “Now, the sun sets, and I believe it would be best if you were off to rest.”

He followed Luna distractedly down the wide hall toward the stairs to the tower, mind abuzz.

“William.”

He jumped at his name, Luna’s wingtip gently touching his shoulder.

“I saw the anger in your eyes,” she stated lowly, even though there was no one else around. “It would not be wise to carry that anger to another. Let it go.”

He frowned, clutching the book even more tightly.

“But Eris-”

“May be deserving of that anger,” Luna continued. “But regardless, let it go. There is great worth in forgiveness. Standing up for yourself is one thing, but clinging to grudges and prejudices against another is no way to find happiness, nor to live at all. Take it from somepony that knows better. Do you understand?”

He almost shied away from her oddly piercing gaze and ominous words, but he swallowed and nodded. Luna’s look became tranquil again shortly afterwards, and he managed to ease up.

“Good. Rest well, Chaos Spawn.”

“I prefer William, Princess,” he corrected her civilly, standing up a little straighter. She smiled and shook her head, tittering.

“And I prefer Luna, William. Good morning. Or night, I suppose.”

0-0-0-0-0

“Go scrub the toilets, Eris. Go clean the stupid chamber pots, Eris. Go wash the windows, Eris. Go clean out the drains, Eris,” the agitated draconequus mimicked the head maid’s voice in a nasally tone. “Don’t make me punish you, Eris. I don’t get paid enough for this.”

The wet slap of sponge against the windows filled the stone passageway, the afternoon sun glaring in her eyes. She scowled at her murky reflection in the bucket of water, ears pricking at the sound of an approaching pony. The clop of hooves rounding the corner sounded a little too quick to be casual, and just as she had assumed, one of the castle’s many maids came swinging around the empty corner. The easily recognized light pink filly gave her a large smile before trotting straight up to her, apparently oblivious to Eris’s bad mood.

“Hey! There you are,” the filly brushed a lock of violently red mane from her face, grinning wildly.

“Ugh.” Eris’s reply to Velvet was utterly unenthusiastic, and the wet plop of sponge dropping into the bucket made a sickly echoing noise down the corridor. She snapped her talons in irritation, a habit that she found she had been developing lately. Every time nothing happened, however, Eris remained just as aggravated.

Snap.

“What’cha been up to?” she chatted breathlessly, leaning against the wall and watching the slouching draconequus.

“The old bat put me on windows again,” Eris rolled her eyes, taking a break to sidle up to the wall before sliding down it and settling somewhat comfortably on the pristine floor.

“You probably shouldn’t have told her that you hated it,” she settled next to her amicably, smirking tiredly.

“Yeah, prolly not,” Eris admitted, inspecting the underside of her paw. “It’s probably, like, psychological warfare. Give the most degrading jobs possible t’keep the lower tier in place, know what I’m sayin’?” she finished in a hushed, conspiratorial tone.

Velvet snorted and nodded.

“To be honest with ya, I wouldn’t be all that surprised. Oh, hey!” she turned her head sharply, standing and stretching even though it had only just sat down. “Have you seen Cotton Candy anywhere?”

Eris blinked in confusion, and scratched behind her ears.

“Well, see, normally,” she glowered at her talons in frustration. “I would have had a prop gag ready for that, but- ah, never mind. Who’s Cotton Candy?”

“Real tall,” Velvet explained, motioning to show her. “For a filly, I mean. Real scrawny gal, got a blue streak in her mane that looks like it was dyed in? Long neck, squinty eyes? Can’t miss ‘er…”

“Sorry,” Eris shrugged and snapped her talons a little more quickly, and Velvet’s brows furrowed a little. “Haven’t seen anybody like that. Did you ask the old bat?”

Snap snap snap.

“That’s just it, actually…” she frowned, stealing a peek over her shoulder to ensure that they really were alone. “See, I know Boss Mare saw Cotton Candy not too long ago, but when I asked her, she said she hadn’t seen her either.”

“… Huh,” Eris scratched her chin in mild interest. “That is kinda weird. Maybe she’s just off somewhere?”

“Nopony else has seen her, either!” Velvet’s eyes showed a hint of worry, although she seemed to have it fairly under control. “The same thing happened before, I think…”

“So, maybe she went home to her family?” she suggested helpfully. To Eris’s surprise, however, Velvet violently shook her head.

“Cotton doesn’t have a family,” the filly shifted uneasily. “She’s an orphan, like me.”

Eris started to tell her that her fears were probably unfounded, but her last words rang in her ears. She hummed, rubbing her chin in thought. From some of the other maids that Eris had talked with, it would seem that the parentless, homeless, or just outright unfortunate seemed to coagulate at the castle as maids. Although for what reason, Eris wasn’t sure.

“Okay,” she snapped her talons again before she crossed her arms. “Now I am kind of suspicious. Wanna go do some snoopin’?” Eris grinned hopefully, but Velvet shook her head again.

“Maybe later. I’m gonna go check something first, and then I’ll check with ya again sometime. ‘Kay?”

“Uh, yeah?” Eris watched the filly dart away, and finally stood with a grunt. “No need to be specific, or anything! Yeah, I’m totally fine with ambiguity, don’t bother asking, or anything!”

But Velvet either did not hear her or chose to ignore her, and either way, it irritated Eris.

… Snap.

0-0-0-0-0

Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

Once again, I find myself utterly exasperated at my situation.

A gargantuan sigh could, I suppose, sum up my thoughts on my current predicament, but the resulting wind force would likely knock this entire palace off of the cliff it rests on. And on that note, I really should inquire as to how a structure like this has managed to continue standing on such a precarious perch, and would were I not apprehensive that the answer would likely be magic.

Magic is something that I hold in equal parts great suspicion and curiosity. Whereas the basic magical implementations and supernaturally activated devices that Miss Sparkle has shown me appear to operate under fairly simplistic processes, the theoretical magic that I wish to study is far more vague and difficult to comprehend. Which, I suppose, could be one of the reasons that she has thus far refused to allow me any of those books on my weekend visits to the library. Whereas I am thoroughly disappointed that I cannot return until this wretched ~~slave trade ends~~ debt has been paid, I do wonder if I could convince Princess Luna to allow me access to her rather impressive personal library.

I must have been drooling all over those poor books. Never have I seen such an impressive collection, a veritable treasure trove just barely out of my reach.

Be still, my beating heart.

This day in particular has been utterly filled with what I could only hope to refer to as mixed signals. Missus Trimming… I shall get back to that. I have no idea whether she wants to break my legs or mount me, and I’m not all too certain which one would be less unpleasant.

But at the very least, she apparently doesn’t want to disembowel me. So that’s a plus.

Still no letters back from home, or from Scootaloo. I will probably have to send more, I’m beginning to worry about Mother… but perhaps that is only out of habit. I wonder if Eris has anyone to write to. I would really rather avoid even thinking about her, which is difficult, as she snores very loudly. Never have I met anyone who could get under my skin so effortlessly. She will be the death of me, I’m certain. Should this journal provide also as my last will and testament, I don’t care who gets my books, just so long as they are kept far, far away from Eris. She would probably light them on fire or something. The idiot.

For now, however, I must sleep and discover just how this new book that Princess Luna gave me works. I believe that it may be magical in nature, but I’m not certain. As of now I am keeping it beneath my pillow to keep it safe, and/or ascertain whether or not it develops some form of mental link to my dreaming subconscious. Which, now that I read back on it, sounds like something out of a cheesy late night science fiction movie.

~~I hope Princess Luna isn’t disappointed with anything I dream up. She seems like a very pleasant sort of mare, and I can’t stop thinking about her. She is like the avatar of dark beauty, extravagantly divine and simultaneously unreachable, drawing me closer with each dainty whisper.~~

I am never touching another one of Mother Pinkie’s tacky romance novels ever again.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

I've gotten a surprising amount of feedback stating that Eris is just about the worst thing to ever happen, which... eh, I don't know if I agree with that or not yet. The thing is, Eris really wasn't meant to be a particularly mean or nasty character - she's just an overactive teenager with too much on her plate and her favorite toy has just been taken away. She's not evil. She's just bored. And a troublemaker, true, but I also wanted to make Eris closer to Discord without just slapping a female gender on Discord and making it Chaos 2.0. I wanted a completely different character, but I honestly didn't think that she would garner that much ire.
I think the upcoming chapters will change perspectives on her a little.

Although for better or worse is up to you.

To Quell A Flame

0-0-0-0-0

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Twilight’s wall clock sounded through her study, the only sound in the entire library. She barely even heard it, her focus spent solely on the painted blue runes on the floor before her. Each one glowed a little, like each mystical letter contained a happily buzzing firefly.

Her frown grew deeper as the spell whispered through the air, dancing and weaving in tune to her will. Each and every prod sent painful shudders through her mind, but to no avail; Twilight had come too far to stop now.

It might have been moments, but it easily felt like hours before so much as a single rune flickered. The circle that they were contained in glowed with an ominous, sickly yellow light, and the immense magical drain left Twilight weakened, but not completely so.

To say the least, it left Discord both surprised and very displeased.

The draconequus seemed to have been in midsentence, enormous pink sunglasses dangling on the edge of his nose. A wide brimmed straw hat sat lazily atop his head, horns piercing them as he held what could only be a partially emptied martini glass in one paw, a small umbrella sticking out of the shirt pocket of his flowery festive red button-down shirt.

“… Oh, not cool,” Discord scowled, leaning grumpily against the protective barrier that kept him firmly within the circle as if it were no more than a boring wall instead of an enormously powerful containment spell. “Knew I shouldn’t have gone to the luau.”

“What part of ‘hurry’ do you not bucking understand?” Twilight seethed at him, bags beneath her eyes tempting her to rub them. She paced furiously back and forth, unconsciously ruffling her wings. “Were you not listening? Did you just not care?”

“Meh. I was busy,” he shrugged with a toothy grin.

“Don’t give me that!” she snapped, stamping her hoof against the floor.

“Easy there, principessa,” Discord said dangerously, although he made no move whatsoever. “All that anger all the time is going to start sinking into you, and before you know it, you’ll officially be ‘Princess Cranky Pants’ for the rest of your life.”

“I am not in the mood, Discord.” Twilight’s tired frown became even more pronounced than it was before.

“Sure don’t look like it!” he agreed with a sudden cheerful smile, tilting his martini glass toward her and emptying it. “Wow, I’d say you haven’t slept in… what has it been? Five days? Six?”

“Eleven,” Twilight answered for him, jittering as she continued to pace.

“I do believe I warned you,” he said as he picked at something on his flowery shirt. “I don’t mean to be an ‘I told you so’, but when I say that there are some things that cannot be unseen, I mean it.”

“I can still see it when I close my eyes.”

Discord wondered if her admission was deliberate or if she were merely speaking to herself. He pretended not to notice, instead busying himself with toying with the miniature umbrella in his pocket. He already knew that his power had been effectively trampled on the moment he had been trapped inside the conjuring circle – might as well amuse himself until Twilight gave up again.

“Uh huh,” Discord nodded absentmindedly, kicking his feet out and relaxing against the barrier a little more. “Immortality has a few quirks like that. I’m sure you’ve been having lots of fun-”

His words were yanked from his mouth as the barrier suddenly fell away, and he came crashing to the floor. The back of his head hit the wood with a dull thunk, and he stared up at the exhausted mare for a full beat.

“… Ow,” he blinked, quietly noting that the protective circle was no longer functioning, nor sealing in his power. He made no display of it, however.

“Look, I’m sorry Discord. Let’s start over,” Twilight asked pleadingly. Discord almost wanted to taunt her, to mock her and pick at her until she started shouting again, but when he saw just how utterly miserable and unhappy she was, something in him caused him to bite his tongue.

“Alright, alright,” he agreed with displeasure as he creakily pulled himself to his cloven feet. “What is it this time?”

“I need you to mind wipe me.”

“Again?” Discord asked, his voice full of horror.

“You’ve done it before!?”

“No, not really,” he chortled, and Twilight looked as if she were about to hit him. “Just screwing around. But, seriously,” Discord frowned. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“I know you did it to Eris, don’t tell me that it won’t work!” she twitched, slowly beginning to pace again.

“That’s not what I mean…” Discord held up his mismatched hands defensively, Twilight’s tired gaze never leaving him.

“Please. I’d do it myself, but I’m worried about the potential repercussions.”

Discord snorted, crossing his arms.

“Not about everything, clearly.”

“I didn’t know that I would have to see-see something like that, okay!”

She couldn’t even bring herself to name the burning image behind her eyes, as if even the word scarred her very thoughts. Discord looked at her with genuine pity for a long, quiet moment, before eventually shaking his head.

“I really don’t want to do that. You would be worse off if I did.”

“Discord,” Twilight stared at him seriously. “Don’t try to talk me out of it. I’m not stupid.”

“Maybe not,” he admitted. “But considering that you clearly haven’t stopped like I repeatedly suggested, chances are you’re just going to wind up making the whole thing pointless.”

“By what? Seeing something worse?”

“There’s always something worse,” Discord nodded. He watched as Twilight tried to wrap her mind around how anything could possibly be a more horrifying sight than… that.

“And it’s not doing anyone any favors by mind wiping you,” he pressed on as he watched her defenses slowly crumble. “Your friends probably need you at the top of your game. You’re wasting time and resources, you know.”

The violet princess hanged her head at last, and Discord kicked his feet up in the air.

“… Maybe you’re right.”

“I usually am,” he inspected the undersides of his talons with a hint of smugness. “Although I have to ask how you figured out Eris…”

Aloud he sounded nonchalant, but inside was in turmoil.

“You left clues,” Twilight answered weakly. “Too much didn’t add up when you introduced her to me, little tics in her words. Warning signs, especially in her long term memory. I almost would have suspected damage to the frontal lobe, although it seems to be restricted to the hippocampus..” she carried on, and Discord wasn’t sure if she was talking to herself or not again.

“I’ll have to fix that.” He nodded after a moment, thinking.

“You can mend your mishaps later,” Twilight snapped impatiently, desperately trying to flatten her mane immediately afterwards as if it were the source of her irritation. “Did you manage to get it or not?”

Discord was silent for a long moment before finally settling back down to the floor, releasing a heavy, burdened sigh.

“… Yeah.”

“And?” her gaze nearly burned a hole in him.

“… I don’t think you’re going to like what I’ve heard,” he advised her softly, knowing full well what her reaction would be when she found out.

“Tell me anyway.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you… Princess.”

0-0-0-0-0

William stared hard at the black book, pencil poised in his fingers.

He had never actually recorded his dreams. Cross legged on his rickety bed, he tried to hold the dream in his mind as firmly as he could. Having been several minutes since he had awoken, though, the images were already fading from his mind. Instead, he simply scribbled down a few things that he had seen in his dream.

Pterodactyl, mushrooms, a slingshot, butter, and a battalion of griffons made out of scissors.

The words seemed to shiver across the Book of Dreams for a moment, before William got the shock of his life.

That sounds like the strangest shopping list ever conceived.

“… Oh my god,” he breathed, eyes wide. His hands were trembling as the words seemingly drifted up from within the book and settled across the page, just beneath his own writing. The book itself was writing back.

You can talk? he scribbled swiftly, hands shaking a little. How? Is this an automated reply? How do you work?

I am thoroughly unsurprised that I did not tell you. That sounds rather like myself, I am sad to say.

What do you mean? What are you?

I believe the better question would be ‘who’.

The book did not write back anything further, and William frowned. His brows furrowed in thought, his heart and mind racing equally quickly.

Alright then. If I may ask, who are you?

Why, Princess Luna of course.

William dropped the book.

This is amazing! It’s like a primitive version of instant messaging!

Well, whereas I daresay I do not appreciate being called ‘primitive’ I suppose I could let it slide this time.

If I may ask, Princess, how exactly are you communicating with me like this? Telepathic link of some sort, I assume?

Actually, that is not the case. I was forged along with the Book of Dreams. I am a piece of Luna’s soul, I am a part of her. Just a tiny, insignificant sliver of her consciousness, bound to live within the pages and serve the master of the book. And that so happens to be you, I see.

William breathed heavily, letting the book rest on his lap as he ran a quavering hand through his thin brown hair. He had been caught so completely off guard by the book’s surprise that he hadn’t even noticed when had stopped snoring.

“… Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, listen. Hey,” she poked him in the side of the head with a little giggle. “Hey. Hey. Hey. What’cha doing?”

“I’m not talking to you Eris,” he scowled, quietly closing his precious new black book. He quietly burned at his failure to take the advice that Princess Luna had given him previously, but there was just something about Eris that made her difficult to forgive.

Unfortunately, she was equally impossible to ignore.

“Aww, cold shoulder?” she pried, leaning over his shoulder and peering curiously at the shimmering black book, which he was swift to return to the underside of his pillow to keep away from her. “Aren’t you even going to talk to your own sister?”

“You are not my sister,” William seethed, pushing her off. She fell away with surprisingly little resistance. He felt her slip away, and although she didn’t speak, he could almost feel her stiffen up behind him. “And I am done putting up with your nonsense. Every single day, it’s always something with you! Now, if you don’t mind, I believe that we have work to do.”

“But-!” she started, only for him to slam the door.

He stamped barefoot down the empty maid’s quarters callously, vengefulness burning in his chest. A hint of guilt rose up at how he had behaved toward Eris, but all he had to do to cure it was remind himself of her constant annoyances.

The cool air of the bathing room seemed to clear his head a little, and he washed his face slowly in the sink with cold water to wake himself up. He sighed and frowned at his reflection, already regretting his words. He didn’t have to slam the door as well…

His bitter anger came rushing back up when he saw what Eris had done to him in his sleep, however.

A small, fluffy patch of his hair just on the left side of his head had seemingly been painted a very fine, light grey.

William gripped the sink furiously with one hand, picking tediously at the hair with his other. She must have done it just last night, after he had tumbled wearily into bed. As to why Eris had randomly dyed part of William’s hair, that was a mystery. Probably just to be a nuisance. He scowled at his reflection, determined not to let her gain the upper hand.

He was just going to pretend that it didn’t even exist. At least until he could find proper hair dye.

William took a few deep breaths before dashing water on his face again, Luna’s words sneaking back into his mind to haunt him. It really wouldn’t do anyone any good to go carrying around all that anger, he knew she was right about that. And he would probably feel even more guilty if he took it out on Eris again…

But he certainly wasn’t going to walk back to her and apologize, unquestionably not after she had dyed his hair in his sleep. He was sick of her pranks, and he wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of watching him fold.

Although it occurred to him as he was padding down the still eerily empty hallway that he would have to go back one way or another.

William let out a hiss through his teeth, his shoulders sagging as he dragged himself back to their shared room. As he quietly pried open the door, he was almost tempted to apologize to the draconequus.

“Eris!”

“What?” she blinked, looking up at him as she reclined lazily on her own bed. Her tail trailed over the edge and swished about like a cat’s, and the book in her hands was clearly upside down. He knew because it belonged to him.

“That’s private! he shouted, snatching the book out of her hands. She harrumphed indignantly as he jammed it with his other belongings beneath the bed, protectively standing in front of them. “What do you think you’re doing?

“I got bored,” she deadpanned. “I get bored easily. Curse of living forever, I guess,” Eris shrugged carelessly.

“Don’t touch my stuff!” William demanded.

“Yikes,” she held up her mismatched hands, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “Dude, you are tense lately. Look, it’s early, you should chill out.”

“Why don’t you-” he caught himself, forcing down his words as his hands clamped into tight balls. He held down his breathing, dragging out his uniform. “Never mind. Just… please, Eris. Just leave me alone today so we can finish our duties and get this nightmare over with.”

“But-” she started as he swiveled his finger around.

“Just turn around, I’m trying to get dressed.”

“Oh, come on. It’s not like you’ve got anything on you that I haven’t seen before,” Eris snorted.

“Turn around already!”

“Alright, fine, fine!” she uncomfortably twisted her head, loudly slapping a hand over her eyes for good measure. “Happy now?”

“Absolutely not,” William frowned, tugging fretfully at his uniform. “I would be happier if had things like, you know… PANTS.”

“I don’t see what your big deal is,” she shrugged again. “I mean, almost everybody you’re around is naked twenty-four seven. Hell, even I’m naked, and you don’t see me complaining.”

William bit back a retort, refusing to talk to her any longer than he had to. He instead snatched a pair of envelopes from his belongings, and made straight for the door.

“Uh, Will?”

“I already said that I’m not talking to you, Eris!” he said loudly.

“But-!” she held up a finger after him, only for the boy to close the door as swiftly as he could. She quietly noted that he didn’t slam it that time. Eris sighed and slowly shook her head.

He’d figure it out eventually.

For now, she plucked the book back out from beneath his bed, settled against her own and resumed reading where she had left off.

It was surprisingly interesting, for a journal.

0-0-0-0-0

“Rainbow Dash?” Rarity knocked lightly on the door again with the flat of her hoof, the drizzle splattering off of her umbrella. She frowned as the silence greeted her once again, the miserable rain continuing to cover Ponyville.

Rarity sighed, brushing a strand of frizzling purple mane from her face and held herself in check. It likely wouldn’t do any good at all to get upset about it now, she could fix her mane later. Besides, at least she had an umbrella this time.

“Rainbow Dash, I know you’re in there, dear,” Rarity lied, a tingle of worry beginning to nag at her. “If you don’t hurry up and answer, I’m going to take that as permission to unlock this door.”

Even her own threat sounded pitifully weak in her ears, but Rarity paid it no attention. After silence met her ears once again, she sighed heavily and magically activated the tumblers inside the door, unlocking it from within. It swung open a little creakily, and she made sure to dry herself properly before leaving her umbrella in the stand by the door.

“Rainbow Dash?” Rarity called out again, hearing a slight rusting from the kitchen shortly after she did so. She peered into it and was immediately assaulted by the overpowering smell of alcohol, and nearly tripped over a bottle of hard cider.

“Whozzat?” the pegasus blearily cracked her eyes open. She sat up stiffly against the cabinet beneath the sink, another empty bottle rolling off of her when she did so and falling with a clatter to the floor.

“… Oh, darling, I knew you two had a spat, but this is just heartbreaking.”

“Hey, Rares,” Dash blinked groggily, head pounding. Her wings were stiff and uncomfortable behind her, and she tenderly gripped one of them and held it close, almost in panic before she realized that there was nothing wrong with it.

“Alright,” Rarity breathed, carefully attempting to manage the situation as a lady would. “How many hooves am I holding up?”

“Uh…”

“That’s what I thought,” she frowned, helping the woozy Rainbow Dash to stand. “I knew I was right to worry when another rainstorm hit, it wasn’t expected unt- actually, that’s not important right now, poor thing. You, my dear, look as if you’re about to be ill.”

“An’ you look kinda hot,” Dash giggled, interrupted by a hiccup. “Hey. Hey. Hey, Rares,” she leaned heavily on the unicorn, nearly falling over. “Guess who’s on the re~bound…!”

“Okay, clearly not well.”

“You’re – hic! – you are a f-friend, you know that?” she slurred, tone changing again as Rarity attempted to help her to the couch one step at a time. “You’re – Celestia, I love you, Rarity. You’re-you’re-you’re awesome, that’sh what you are. A very, very, very… friend.”

“And you are very drunk,” Rarity deadpanned, helping her to lie down on the couch. “Very, very, very drunk. Stay put, I’ll get the ice.”

“Kinky,” she giggled, taking a swipe at her rear and missing by nearly a foot.

“Lots of ice.”

0-0-0-0-0

William found himself staring up at the stained glass in the throne room more often than he would care to admit.

He was careful to bring along the cleaning supplies in order to support the ruse that he was cleaning them should anyone stop by and see him, but in all actuality all he really did was traipse up and down the enormous hall, inspecting each glass portrait that contained Discord.

Many of them held images of the princesses as well, even one displaying the incident he had heard of from his mother of ‘Nightmare Moon’. He was fairly tempted to inquire about it, but doubted that Princess Luna would care to bring up something like that again. He placed it in the back of his mind with his many other questions, the history of Equestria being laid bare before his gaze.

Another section that he was particularly interested in was one that showed Discord holding ponies over a flaming pit, laughing while he did so.

William frowned, chin cupped in his hand as he thought.

He didn’t know why the image fascinated him so, in equal parts horror and interest. Had his father really been-

He shook his head slowly, drawing himself out of his thoughts. One father might have been a monster, but William did not consider him a parent. Discord couldn’t have been that bad, could have he…? William was reminded of Eris’s words again and how he had to be stopped, and his brows furrowed further onto his face.

“Just how much do we have in common, I wonder…” he mused aloud, staring up at the shining image of Discord surrounded by his mother and her friends.

“Irresponsibility and laziness,” Trimming’s voice made him jump nearly a foot in the air. “That’s for certain.”

“Missus Trimming!” he snagged the small bucket of untouched cleaning supplies, holding them up for her to see. “I was just, er-”

“Clearly not using any of those,” she deadpanned. “I’m not stupid, human.”

“Of-of course not, Missus Trimming,” he shifted uncomfortably, sticking his heels together. He rifled around for a moment to find the letters, drawing them out quickly in the hopes of distracting her. “Although I meant to-to give these to you, ma’am, but you weren’t in your office-”

“Yes, yes, yes,” she waved him off. “More letters, of course. You want me to send them for you, I presume?” Trimming asked with a hint of disdain.

“Er, yes ma’am.”

She sighed through her nostrils, eyes flicking back to the windows.

“You’re not getting paid, by the way,” she informed him. When she saw the confused look on his face, she smirked and added “Maids have Saturdays off. Unlike myself,” an unexpected snort came through. “Back in my day we didn’t have off days. I’m surprised you’re not lazing about like your good for nothing sister.”

He almost spoke back in retaliatory defense of Eris, before he remembered what she had done to his hair in his sleep. Instead, he bit his tongue and continued walking alongside the mare, who he assumed was treading back toward her office. William supposed the day would explain the lack of maids, but he oddly hadn’t seen any more than a couple of the royal guards. Perhaps they were all off somewhere as well?

By the time they finally reached the hall where her office was at, William spotted a familiar sight.

“What do you think you’re doing, little miss Velvet?” Trimming’s voice became high and cold, and the redheaded filly almost tripped over herself in her hurry to jerk away from the door.

“N-n-nothing!” Velvet half laughed, nervously looking back and forth between the two. “I-I was just, um… you!” she turned desperately to William. “Uh, yeah. I was looking for you! And here you are! Hey, Will! How ‘ya doin’?”

“He is currently being punished,” Trimming’s sharp retort made both William and Velvet flinch. “I caught the little runt trying to claim work when he clearly wasn’t. Thought that you could squeeze a few extra bits out without effort, did you?” her venomous gaze was turned toward William, who only shook his head rapidly. “Unless, of course, you would like to share in his punishment…” she left her statement hanging.

Velvet looked toward William, who stared back at her pleadingly.

“W-well…” the filly pranced back and forth, nervously deciding. She gave one last unhappy look to the boy before shaking her head again, and William’s heart sank like a stone. “I was just going, Missus Trimming.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Velvet darted past them, the clopping of her hooves bouncing down the hall.

“Sorry,” she whispered barely audibly to William as she passed, making swift exit.

Trimming watched her go for a moment, disdain apparent on her features as she unlocked her office.

“Oh, what am I going to do with that filly,” Trimming murmured more to herself than anything, drawing the apprehensive William inward as she closed the door behind them. His heartbeat picked up pace when he heard the click and latch of the door’s heavy lock falling into place, sealing them in.

“Um, Missus Trimming?” William spoke finally. “The-the um, the door appears to be… locked.”

“I know,” she nodded quietly. “Sit.”

William anxiously clamped his hands together in his lap, mindlessly running his fingers over themselves. Trimming didn’t say a word for several minutes, instead picking at a couple of pictures behind her desk before wordlessly placing them away in one of her drawers.

“Why do I have so much trouble out of you?” she asked eventually, breaking the awful silence.

“Sorry?”

“No you aren’t,” Trimming deadpanned, her golden eyes burning a hole in his head. “Every single day, it’s always something with you.”

William didn’t say anything, instead opting to fiddle with his hands.

The mare sighed again, the kind of exasperated sigh that he had caught himself giving, especially lately.

“I don’t even think that I could punish you,” she said at last, trotting from around her desk and slowly beginning to pace around him. “One can only punish the young for something so many times before it becomes mindless, you know. It doesn’t do any good if you don’t learn anything.”

“I don’t think it would be necessary,” William added hopefully.

“Of course you don’t. Hmph. The arrogance of youth,” Trimming’s little smile seemed almost plastered on, and the swishing of her tail as she circled around him like a shark was beginning to make him even more nervous. “Tell me, little one. What is your goal?”

“To go home,” William answered truthfully.

Trimming snorted, her rustling tail lightly smacking him in the face as she turned. He resisted the urge to swipe it away, refusing to drop his gaze.

“Typical of a little colt,” she sniffed in contempt. “Run back home to mommy as soon as things get a little… hard.”

“No,” he insisted, although Trimming seemed to be smiling a little more now. “No, that’s not it. I just… want to get back home, is all.”

“You aren’t a very good liar…” she stopped directly in front of him, lowering her head and staring straight into his eyes. “So why do you keep trying? Why bother struggling uphill when all you ever do is fail?”

He tried to speak, but the words seemed lost on the way out. William looked away, but Missus Trimming didn’t move away. If anything, she only drew closer.

“That’s what you are, you know. A failure. That’s why they sent you to me,” she frowned, making sure to show her displeasure at him. “Because nopony else in their right mind in this castle would have you brats under their charge. You don’t see any like you under Spear, do you? You’ll never find any like you in royal business unless you’re streaking through it, will you?”

“Princess Luna likes me,” he shot back defensively, but his resolve was already beginning to crack. Trimming could see it happening in his eyes, the way they wandered fearfully away from her instead of glaring with intensity through her.

“Oh, she does?” Trimming asked in mock awe. “Surely it couldn’t just be cordial behavior that a princess is expected to show, I don’t know, everypony else?”

“W-well…”

“It’s because you’re deluded,” she pressed in a little more, blocking his view. William could smell the mint on her breath, the heat nearly radiating off of her as she all but rubbed up against him. “I'm really the only one that even cares about you in this place. Pathetic, really. But what else can one expect?”

William’s eyes were drawn to the floor, and she seemed to almost feed off of his downcast expression. Instead of pressing further with mockery, however, she cupped his chin in her hoof and very tenderly began to force him to look up at her.

“And that’s where the problem really is, isn’t it?” she asked gently, her gaze softening as their eyes met. “That’s where the problem really lies. You can’t expect much from a little colt. Human or not, that’s what you still are – just a little colt.”

William mumbled something and tried to look away, but she forced his gaze to remain. Not painfully, but with enough strength to keep him in place.

“Nopony likes mumbling. If you have something to say, mare up and say it, you little bitch.”

“You aren’t my mother,” he said a little more loudly.

Trimming almost smiled again as his fierce gaze returned, a burning spirit behind his eyes that she was unaccustomed to seeing. Something a little off, just something wrong with his eyes. It belied something even more fiery buried within, almost taunting her.

But even a great fire could be stifled. All it really took was patience and the strength to smother the life out of it.

“You really are just like a little colt,” she took one of his hands and peeled it away, and surprisingly he gave no resistance, despite the look in his eyes. “But don’t you worry one bit, little William.”

Trimming internally crowed in victory when he let out a whimpering moan as her lips hotly brushed his neck, and he squirmed beneath her. For one that seemed so insistent upon being resilient and resistant as much as possible, it was like he wasn’t putting up a fight at all. It only made Trimming’s smile grow, and it was one of the first genuine ones on her that William had seen.

“I’m going to make a proper stallion out of you.”

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

After much debate and complaints galore, I have returned the original cover art.

The Peculiar Secret Lives Of Birds

0-0-0-0-0

“Okay, but then what…?” Eris mused to herself, one talon trailing aimlessly over the slightly crumpled map.

“Prolly on this side,” Velvet pointed out with her hoof, circling the large rectangular shape in the middle with a little red triangle etched next to it. “At least, that’s what I think it is.”

The creak of the wooden door swinging inward alerted them both, but it was Velvet who jumped the highest. She and Eris seemed relatively relieved that there was no alarm, only a slightly bedraggled William slowly trudging barefoot inside.

“Oh, hey,” Velvet waved cheerfully to him. “Was wonderin’ what was taking so long. The old bat give you ‘nother earful?” she asked, slightly guiltily.

She wasn’t certain whether or not he was going to reply, as Eris interrupted with a snap of her talons.

“Actually,” the draconequus said deliberately, sidling off the bed from opposite the filly and tugging out a bundle from beneath William’s small bed gracefully with her tail. “I wanted to say something.”

Eris paused directly in front of the boy, clearing her throat loudly before handing him the bundle, which was tied up with a single piece of blue string.

“I… felt kinda bad, after, you know…” she rubbed the back of her neck stiffly, eyes rolling around to find something interesting on the ceiling. “So… I got you your pants back. So, we cool now? Willie?”

William held the package in his hands, blinked once, and looked back up at Eris. He didn’t say a single word as he carefully clambered into bed and pulled the covers up over his head, his back to her.

“… Guess not,” Eris let out a nearly inaudible sigh. “Hey, me and Velvet are gonna go exploring. You, uh… you wanna come with us?”

“No. Kindly escort yourselves out of the vicinity,” the muffled reply came from beneath the blanket. Velvet looked back and forth between them, but Eris only shrugged.

“… You sure?” Eris asked, a hint of hopefulness in her voice.

“I want to be alone.”

“If you say so.” She shrugged again, giving up and motioning for the filly to follow. “See ya when we get back!”

William stayed very, very still until he heard the sound of the door closing, the noise of the latch echoing a little. He waited until he was certain that they were very far away before finally slipping out from beneath the blankets, still gripping his package tightly.

He needed to wash.

0-0-0-0-0

The dusty tomes clinging to ancient, musty bookshelves looked like just the sort of darkened place that William would have liked, Eris thought vaguely to herself. A shame he hadn’t decided to break into the castle’s library with them.

Shadows hung on every corner, looming over them as the odd pair crept between the enormous shelves, tiptoeing as softly as possible across the cold wooden floor.

“This place is actually kinda creepy when everypony’s gone at night,” Velvet whispered, her voice sounding much louder than it actually was. Eris grinned and shrugged, slinking alongside her with the map held open. She’d spent longer ‘exploring’ than she had expected, but at least it was better than scrubbing chamber pots.

“Reminds me of some crypts I’ve been in,” she answered casually, but the hairs bristling on the back of her neck implied that she wasn’t quite as at ease as she would have liked to appear.

“What’s a crypt?” the filly peered at her curiously, blowing another lock of red mane from her face in agitation. “Pffffff! Knew I should have gotten my mane cut.”

Eris rolled her paw through the air as they turned a corner, and she rolled up the map with her other hand.

“Oh, you know,” Eris said conversationally. “Some folks like to have places where they stick all the dead ones.”

Velvet gaped at her in horror and shuddered.

“Eey-yuck!” she exclaimed, her voice echoing in the empty library. “Some ponies keep their dead relatives?”

“Yeah, I guess it’s just a culture thing.”

“But-but what about returning ‘em to the ground?” Velvet scrunched up her face in disgust. “You’re s’posed to get all burned up when y’die, so’s you can be free in the afterlife. Keeping bodies around is just… just gross.”

Eris shrugged again, passing her the map.

“I’ve seen weirder,” she rambled conversationally. “There was this one time, me and dad met a necromancer who accidentally turned this whole village inside out-”

“Stop right there,” Velvet commanded, looking as if she were going to be sick.

“Yeah,” Eris rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “It is kind of a gory story-”

“No, I mean I think it’s here….!” she insisted, going over the map in the dark again. “Start pulling books off of shelves.”

“Yes!” Eris fist pumped. “Finally, wanton destruction!”

Velvet watched her begin yanking book after book off of the shelves, giggling madly as she did so. One by one, each book was tugged roughly from its place and tossed wildly through the air, landing in a steadily growing messy pile behind her. Which was really the main reason Eris wanted her adoptive brother along, because seeing what she did to the books probably would have given him a heart attack. Her grin grew at the thought.

After roughly five minutes of doing nothing but pulling books off of shelves, Eris had slowed considerably, just as the pile had grown. And Velvet, who had already given up four minutes ago, simply sat and watched the panting draconequus from the side.

“I – don’t think – whoo – that any – secret passage – is gonna open,” Eris said breathlessly, hands on her knees as sweat dripped from her brow. “Jeez, I’m – ooh, dizzy – why am I so tired?”

“Well, I guess that’s four down,” Velvet scratched something off of the map with a little red marker.

“So, our whole day was wasted,” Eris slumped onto the pile of books next to her as if it were an armchair, and craned her head back in attempt to relax. It felt like her very muscles were on fire, something that she was unaccustomed to. There was just such a bizarre wrongness to her unfamiliar aches that seemed to be accumulating all over her. She wasn’t used to feeling like this. Dust flew into the air where she had landed, and she resisted the urge to sneeze. “Seriously, bookshelves are supposed to have secret entrances. Haven’t any of these idiots ever seen Scooby Doo?

“Wasted? Nah,” Velvet beamed. “Now there’s only three places left until we find the secret passage to the secret treasure room!”

She rubbed her hooves together gleefully, a gleam in her eyes.

“The secret treasure of the secret treasure room, behind the secret passage,” Eris corrected her.

“This is gonna be so cool!” she wriggled excitedly, rolling up her crumpled map again. “When we find it, we’re going to be set for life!”

“Unless we get caught,” Eris frowned with a hint of very uncharacteristic pessimism.

“Except that we won’t…” Velvet stated firmly as she clambered to stand. “The second we get our hooves-”

“And talons.”

“-And talons on some o’ that gold, all our worries will be solved.” Velvet stated it very matter of factly, extending a hoof to help Eris back to her feet. “When I get me some treasure, I’m gonna build my whole house out of rubies, and I’m never goin’ hungry again. What are you spending your share on?”

“More treasure,” Eris grinned coyly.

Velvet snorted and rolled her eyes, a sudden thought occurring to her as they slowly walked away.

“… Wait, what about the books?”

Eris was already on her way out the window.

The sound of retching into the bucket was about the last thing that anypony wanted to hear, but it seemed to be the most frequent.

Rarity cringed in mild revulsion, looking away as she passed the woozy pegasus another cold wet towel. Rainbow Dash shakily pulled herself back onto the sofa, moaning miserably into the damp as she held the towel against her face.

“Really, dear, I’m both appalled and amazed,” Rarity admitted. “I’m pretty sure there’s enough alcohol in your system to subdue an angry minotaur. I’m astounded you lasted as long as you did without-”

Dash retched again, the splattering of the bucket making the unicorn flinch.

“… I practiced,” Rainbow Dash muttered in weak attempt at humor as she drew herself up, her stomach long since empty. Rarity helped her tug a sheet a little tighter over her shoulders, to which she nodded gratefully. Dash sniffled, her matted mane plastered to her head from her attempts to wash out the drunkenness in the rain. Although the warmth that the cider had originally brought her was long gone, the ill effects still remained – the grogginess refused to leave her head, and her vision swam when she looked at anything but the insides of her eyelids for too long. And she didn’t even like doing that – too many memories came back that she’d rather not deal with all at once.

“Quite finished?” Rarity asked with a hint of exasperation as her shoulders began to shake again.

“Dry heaves,” Dash shook her head wearily. “Celestia. I hate that anypony sees me like this.”

“Don’t be silly, dear,” she helped her dry some of the rain from her mane with another towel, carefully reseating the woozy pegasus on the couch. “We all have our bad days. Yours just so happens to be rather… er, slightly worse.”

Rainbow Dash tried to raise an eyebrow and nearly passed out from the effort.

“Alright, awful. You look awful, you poor thing,” Rarity admitted with a hint of embarrassment.

As it would have done very little good to argue with her and probably have taken a great deal of effort, Rainbow Dash simply let her friend help her a little longer, closing her eyes as Rarity gently dabbed the rest of the water from her rain soaked mane.

“… Thanks, Rares,” her voice was muffled beneath the towel.

“Don’t mention it,” Rarity replied a little stiffly. “I can’t imagine how anypony could expect less from a friend. Besides, these little ‘unexpected thunderstorms’ seem to keep targeting Carousel Boutique. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve left a window open and returned to find my entire loft sopping wet, thank heavens I store my fabrics carefully-”

“Rarity,” Dash tried to pry herself from beneath the towel with a weak grin. “If you rub any harder, you’re going to set my mane on fire.”

“Sorry, dear, sorry!” she pulled away swiftly. “You know how it is, I just get so worked up, you know you’ve got to stop me when I start ranting or it’ll never end.”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Dash replied with a feeble smile, leaning toward her a little. “I really like it. It feels really good when you get right behind the ear…”

Rainbow Dash leaned in a little closer as Rarity twisted the towel mindlessly in her hooves, weakly crawling to her and trailing a single hoof over her leg.

“It feels really good when you touch me, Rarity…” Dash whispered huskily into her ear, tracing a figure eight on her leg. “Nopony has even touched me in what feels like forever. It feels… really, really good…”

“Oh – oh. Ah. I, er, see,” Rarity fumbled uneasily.

“… Is it ‘cause I was sick a couple minutes ago?” she asked with a slight slur.

“I don’t actually, er… er-hem, that’s not my cup of tea.”

“Shi- right, yeah, of course,” Rainbow Dash pulled away swiftly, and coughed awkwardly into her hoof. “Sorry. I-I wasn’t, uhm…”

“I’ll blame the cider.” Rarity’s cheeks were tinged pink and she wouldn’t quite seem to look Dash in the eyes.

“Right, right,” she answered embarrassedly.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a while, the last pitter patter of raindrops dwindling down to a soft drumbeat that tapped politely against the windows, as if hopefully awaiting entrance.

When an equally quiet knock came at the door, Rarity wasted no time in vaulting off the sofa.

“I’ll get it,” she sped off, leaving Rainbow Dash in silent and wearily contemplative solitude. She ran a hoof through her still slightly damp mane and slid it over her aching head for a moment longer, head feeling oddly heavy.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Celestia, I can’t think straight. All my fault.

“Rainbow Dash?”

Dash blinked and peeked through her hooves, which she had been covering her mildly burning face with. The sight of Rarity fussing about in her home came as no surprise, as she had done practically nothing but since arrive, but Fluttershy had been unexpected.

For some reason, seeing her only made her feel worse.

“Hey, Flutters,” Rainbow Dash grinned weakly instead.

“Oh, um, hello…” the butter colored pegasus shifted uneasily as she tried not to watch Rarity collecting cider bottles, clucking her tongue in a scolding fashion. When she didn’t say anything more, Rainbow Dash resisted a sigh and spoke.

“… You can come in and relax, you know,” Dash reminded her slowly, to which Fluttershy flinched.

“I’m sorry,” she hung her head, carefully placing her bright yellow umbrella by the door. “Sorry, sorry. I was just, um… my mind was preoccupied, I don’t mean to make anypony uncomfortable.”

“A little late for that,” Rarity grumbled, but no one heard her.

“Come on in, take a load off,” Rainbow Dash said a little bitterly. “The place is a lot emptier than usual.”

“I heard about Pinkie Pie,” Fluttershy nodded self-consciously. She looked as if she were desperately intent on removing something invisible from the bottom of her hoof, but settled instead on taking a seat beside Rainbow Dash. A single empty cider bottle sat sadly in the plush armchair beside the couch, just in front of one of the rain spattered windows. “How have you been feeling?”

From somewhere in the kitchen amongst the clink of far too many cider bottles, somepony snorted.

“What I mean is,” Fluttershy backpedalled quickly. “Have your, um, t-therapy visits been helping at all?”

Rainbow Dash stared at her for a full beat before looking uneasily down at the floor.

“Oh. Those. Uh, well,” she shifted restlessly, tugging at one of her wingtips out of habit. “I mean, I haven’t exactly, you know… been, yet.”

Fluttershy didn’t say a word, but she gave a little sigh through her nostrils that made it very clear that she was supremely disappointed. Somehow, this stung a little more than Rainbow Dash expected it would. Like the silent but stern look of an adult that has grown weary of a foal’s behavior, but was refraining from discipline to teach a different lesson. It was a look that did not sit familiarly on Fluttershy’s face, and made Dash horridly uncomfortable. It was almost like she knew, but she was expecting her to somehow redeem herself and was found wanting.

“I mean, it’s not that I wasn’t planning on it, I just haven’t… yet,” Dash added defensively after a few seconds had passed.

“No,” Rarity huffed with a small sliver of cheekiness as she returned, dusting her hooves. “You’ve been rather busy elsewhere, clearly.”

Fluttershy gave her a look stern enough to make her sit down rather quickly in the armchair before the window.

“I think it would do you a world of good, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy patted her shoulder gently with a warm, reassuring smile.

“I’ll agree with that.” Rarity nodded slowly, leveling her gaze hopefully at the pegasi. “Anything’s got to be better than sitting around moping, trust me dear, I have experience. Besides, I’m sure that everything will be fine once you two are finished with your little break up – make up things, and-”

“Pinkie Pie left.”

Dash and Rarity both gawked at Fluttershy, who was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

“I-I mean, she came to tell me goodbye and everything first,” Fluttershy said shamefacedly, resisting the overwhelming urge to hide behind her curtain of mane. “She said that she’s leaving town, and that she didn’t know when or if she’d be back.”

“She-she told you all that?” Rarity asked, a little hurt. It was clear that it had affected Dash much more, though she refrained from speaking.

“Um, yes. Pinkie Pie wouldn’t tell me where she was going, just that she wanted somepony she could trust to know where she was in case…”

Fluttershy couldn’t quite bring herself to finish her sentence, instead opting to clear her throat quietly and look away. Rainbow Dash glowered at her own hooves in a sullen silence, ears plastered sulkily against her head.

“… Well, I think I’ve overstayed my welcome!” Rarity said suddenly, clearly tense about the entire ordeal. “And I believe the rain has stopped, and I left Sweetie Belle all alone and I just know that she’s up to something, you two have fun I’ll see you again, darling!”

Her words all came out rushed as if she had been holding them in to let them all out at once, and she spoke rather rapidly as she made for the door. Rarity didn’t say another word as she left, leaving the two of them in troubled quiet. No noise penetrated the house aside from the nearly silent dripping of rain as the sun began to peek through the spent clouds and the quiet chirruping of birds basking in the much welcomed light.

“… I’m sure she’s very busy,” Fluttershy said all of a sudden, not usually one to break the silence. But it had become so deafening that she felt that she needed to.

“She didn’t even tell me,” Rainbow Dash moaned into her hooves. She had been so sure that she would be back in no time, so positive that the usually energetic pink party mare would return. She hadn’t even bothered to pack her things, Dash was so sure she would be back… at first.

“And I’ll bet that she had a very good reason for it.” She nodded profusely a few more times, but was cut off by Rainbow Dash’s remark.

“Why are you here?”

Fluttershy blinked, and looked uncertainly back at the weary pegasus.

“Um, I don’t know what you mean.”

“I mean, why are you here,” Dash circled her hoof over the general vicinity. “Rares’ was getting pissed off at me for not staying on top of my job. Why are you even here?”

Fluttershy toyed with the tip of her mane distractedly, and chewed her lower lip.

“Well, um, because I was worried about you. When I heard that you still hadn’t shown up for therapy, I started wondering if you were okay and thought that I would come by and check up on you.”

Her explanation seemed to satisfy Rainbow Dash for a moment, before she began rubbing her aching temples.

“Hang on. How did you know that I ditched?” she asked suspiciously, wondering if her friend had been following her.

Fluttershy blinked, and said “Well, um, because I’m expected back at the facility today myself.”

Rainbow Dash felt a sting of guiltiness for expecting the worst from Fluttershy, somepony that likely never would have stooped to spying at all.

“… Oh,” she said at last, and it sounded weak and pitiful in her own ears. “I mean, I, uh… I didn’t really expect, y’know…”

“I’m much better now,” Fluttershy nodded peacefully with a half-lidded look perched cozily above her smile. “How about this – you could come with me today, that way we could do both of our sessions at once. That way you don’t have to be worried about doing it alone. I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

Rainbow Dash almost shrugged her off. She didn’t want to go anywhere, she wanted to lie down and let her pounding head drum her a steady beat to sleep. She wanted to go back to check and make sure Rarity hadn’t poured out the rest of her cider as she feared when she heard the sound of draining liquid – or worse, found her wine stash. She wanted to stretch her wings a little and fly, break her promise and head straight for Canterlot so that she could hold her colt again and shake the horridly lonely feeling away.

However, she had also made a promise to Pinkie Pie.

But then again, Pinkie also hadn’t even trusted her enough to tell her where she was going…

Fluttershy watched Rainbow Dash tug at her bottom lip for a long moment, brows furrowed in thought.

“… Yeah. Just this once,” Dash said at last, prompting a heavy but silent sigh of relief from Fluttershy.

“Great! You aren’t going to regret this, I promise.”

Somehow, Rainbow Dash wasn’t quite so certain.

0-0-0-0-0

William stared out the open window down at the courtyard below, hands tight on the windowsill as he tried to fight off the prickle of fear from the height. Strangely, it wasn’t quite as prominent as usual.

“… They look like ants from up here,” Missus Trimming said at last, breaking the silence as she stood casually beside him. With one foreleg propped on the window as she leaned a little forward, Trimming looked nearly as tranquil as he had ever seen her. William, however, remained as he was, his grip on the windowsill so stiff that he might as well have been a part of the finely carved wood.

“I agree,” he answered quietly.

“Peculiar, isn’t it?” she asked as she clicked open a small metal tin with one hoof, eyes never leaving the courtyard where a handful of ponies still milled about. “How nopony ever really sees themselves like that. Even though in reality, that’s all they really are.”

William did not have a reply to that.

“… Here,” she tipped the tin in his direction with a bit of a rattle.

William’s expressionless gaze turned to one of mild discomfort for an instant.

“I believe that I am too young to smoke, Missus Trimming.”

Trimming snorted and shook the tin at him, the numerous rolled cigars tumbling about in their case.

“Don’t feed me that ironic horseshit, colt,” she said mockingly. “Ever had a Zebrican cigar before?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Life is full of firsts,” Trimming rolled a tool in her hoof as she dropped the tin on her desk. “Here, let me show you. You just cut off this part here – not too far or you’ll lose the flavor – and then light it. It’s idiot proof, so a colt like you shouldn’t find it too difficult.”

William frowned as he followed her instructions flawlessly, and watched as she quietly lit her own cigar and breathed deeply. A thick, earthy scent began to fill the office and smother the scents that still remained, and he resisted the urge to wrinkle his nose.

“I am neither stupid nor immature,” William repeated the process just as she had, again making no mistakes, to her slight surprise.

“You are slow, though,” Trimming smirked as she took a long draught of breath, a couple of cinders dropping through the air as she resumed her place at the window. Thin billows of cigar smoke drifted outward, and William hacked and coughed as he tried to imitate her.

“You’ll get used to it.”

She patted his back roughly a couple of times, and he felt as if he were going to lose one of his lungs from trying to breathe through the fat cancer stick again.

“Still too quickly,” Trimming frowned, letting out a practiced puff. “Stop trying to inhale the whole damned thing and just ride it out. You’ll learn to like it.”

“Doubtful,” William muttered under his breath, along with another cough as he held the thing a little further from himself, but she heard him nonetheless.

“You say that again…” she held the cigar between her lips for a moment longer, eventually blowing out a single grey smoke ring.

William fell silent once again, and found that the mare was staring at him trying to hold the cigar between two fingers as he had seen older boys do with cigarettes. Doing the same with the cigar was rather difficult, so he instead gripped it between his thumb and forefinger.

“I know you love it,” Trimming turned from him after a few seconds, dusting a couple more ashes out the window. Her eyes meandered over the oblivious ones below, almost like a hungry cat’s.

“If you say so, Missus Trimming.”

“We both know it,” her gaze turned slowly in his direction as she watched him trying to look as if he weren’t struggling with the cigar out of the corner of her eye. “Don’t lie to yourself. It’s why you keep coming back.”

His lips were tight as he tried to inhale a tiny bit from the cigar, his whole throat and lungs burning ferociously.

“I just want to keep sending letters,” he said, his small shoulders shaking as he coughed.

“It doesn’t seem like anypony is bothering to write back, though, does it?”

Trimming hid her smirk of triumph well as she began to finish pounding the nails in the coffin.

“It’s part of my duty, you know,” Trimming said offhandedly as she dashed some more ash away, shifting again to make herself more comfortable against the sill as warm sunlight broke through the clouds. The chirrup of a bird could be heard in the distance.

William stared at her a moment, not noticing that he was still holding the cigar away from himself after his last attempt at breathing fire.

“Oh. No, not that,” she chortled. “I mean the palace’s mail. It all goes through me, at some point or another.”

“… Why?”

“Because nopony else is qualified for anything aside from guard duty or beating their heads against walls,” Trimming scowled suddenly. “I’m surrounded by idiots and incompetent slack jawed morons. It used to be Shear’s position before he passed, and the princesses saw fit to lump it onto my back.”

Her sudden burst of anger surprised him, but not quite as much as anything else.

“You don’t seem to have a very high opinion of anyone aside from yourself,” William said pointedly, taking a successful drought from his cigar without coughing for the first time.

“Don’t make me slap you again,” her face twitched hard before becoming stony.

“I apologize, Missus Trimming.”

“Your ‘apologies’ are about as hollow as praise from Celestia,” Trimming snorted again. “Try again. More emotion.”

“I’m sor-”

The slap to the back of the head was unexpected, and stung badly. He fumbled with the dwindling cigar as he nearly dropped it out the window, and clung desperately to the sill with his other hand.

“And you’re not good with sarcasm,” Trimming stated dryly. “Figures. Stallions.”

“Not everyone is exactly the same,” William’s eyes started to burn again as badly as his throat was, but he shook it away.

“Oh?” she relaxed again, kicking out one of her back hooves and perking up her ears a little in a gesture to show that she was listening. “Really. Do tell.”

He started to speak again when she gave him a sudden glower, making him clamp his mouth shut.

“Don’t question me, colt. I know a lot more than you do,” Trimming said as she began to reattach her earrings. “It doesn’t matter what your opinion is, you’re exactly the same.”

William seemed even more distraught by her comment than she expected him to be, but he tried not to show it.

“How would you even know?” he asked quietly, the last of his cigar burning away. He followed suit when Trimming dashed hers against the wall outside a couple of times before dropping it.

“It’s called wisdom, and it comes with age,” she answered smartly. “Not that you would understand why, like you wouldn’t understand your own shortcomings, present and to come.”

He didn’t answer, but frowned and furrowed his brows.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” she smirked. “Face it, it’s not like you’ve exactly got a bright future ahead for yourself.”

“You’re a pessimist,” William lowered his gaze.

“Am I?” Trimming leaned a little closer to him, latching the window closed as she did so. “You have nothing ahead for you but what some mare decides for you, and it’s high time you grow up and accept it.”

William did not answer again, but instead looked away as she placed a hoof softly on his shoulder and forced his gaze to return.

“Your place is beneath a mare stronger than you are, thrusting your little hips until she gets sick of you.”

He looked as if he wanted to argue, but couldn’t quite find the words.

“You know it, deep down,” she traced her other hoof slowly onto his chest, still gripping him with her other. “At your core, you know that something like you really has no other place. That’s why you keep coming back, isn’t it?”

William muttered something incoherent about letters, eyes downcast. It seemed far too unfairly bright and sunny all of a sudden, and he wished that the previous gloom would return.

“It’s what you were born for. Don’t start looking at me like that again, it’s true for all stallions. If I can even call you that,” she frowned suddenly, forcing him to look at her again. “How many of them call you things behind your back when you turn away? Just how many regard you as nothing more than a freak?”

“Nopony does,” William answered sharply. He did not move, but a growing fire was stirring in his eyes, which Trimming was all too glad to see rising up just in time to be crushed.

“Is that right?” she asked mockingly, still not releasing him. “Do you really think that anypony aside from me really cares about you at all?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then why hasn’t anypony written back to you?”

William didn’t seem to have an answer to that, either. She delighted in watching the light dim in his eyes as he looked away again, desperate to see anything aside from her triumphant sneer. But when she forced him to look at her again, she held no such look. Instead, Trimming gazed at him with nothing but seemingly genuine pity.

“Poor little William. All alone in the world with no mare to hold him. Pathetic, really.”

“… I’m not pathetic.”

“You didn’t cry.”

He looked openly perturbed by her words as she pulled away at last.

“You didn’t cry,” Trimming repeated herself. “And still haven’t. That’s not strength. It just means that some other mare had you first, didn’t they?”

Silence said volumes to a question such as that, but her triumphant sneer was still nowhere to be seen.

“Figures,” she tossed her mane back as she began to redo it casually. “I’m not really that surprised. Somepony you know, I suppose? Never mind,” Trimming shrugged when he made no move to answer, instead becoming very, very still. “Put your uniform back on. There’s plenty to do, always is.”

0-0-0-0-0

The aviary of Princess Celestia was a grand sight to behold, standing in free air in her personal garden. Late blooming flowers that William did not recognize wound in exotic patterns up gilded lattices surrounding them, and the singing and chirrup of birds filled the air.

Eris crumpled her nose at the smell of nature, gazing with slight disdain around the many cages of all shapes and sizes. Each one was large enough to hold many more their own size, and were built in such a way that one could simply walk in once the doors were unlatched. A few, however, were very small and dangled from trees, but were clearly empty.

“Birds,” the draconequus scowled as she dropped the mop. “I freaking hate birds.”

“I’ve never seen birds like these before,” he watched what looked like a cross between a swallow and an albatross sized bluebird happily eating from an equally bulky seed tray. “I think they’re rather pretty.”

“I think that turkey-thing just barfed,” Eris stated in a mix between deadpan and mild disgust.

“Well, at least you don’t have to clean all the cages yourself…”

“True dat.”

He admired them for a while longer, an odd look coming over his face as he trailed a finger over the thin cage bars.

“… Hey.”

“Mreah?” Eris asked with a distracted half frown, utterly unwilling to get busy.

“Eris, do you ever feel… like a bird?”

“Are you trying to ask me if I’m high?” Eris blinked, turning to him. “Because I totally know some cool stuff you can do with Poison Joke-”

“That’s not – ugh, never mind,” William scowled, pulling fretfully at the hem of his uniform to keep his hands busy.

“A’ight, chill out,” she held up her paw and talons defensively, grinning. “I’m just kiddin’ around.”

“I’m being serious.” William clasped his hands together as he looked around at the impressive menagerie. He couldn’t seem to form his words properly, like his mouth was fighting them on the way out. “I mean… do you ever feel like they must?” he asked, gesturing toward the cages.

“Y’mean… trapped.”

“Exactly,” he said with a bit of relief. “I really feel sorry for them. I doubt any of these birds were even bred in the wild – they probably wouldn’t even survive, even if anybody did let them out. It must be like a life sentence in prison for them…” William finished softly, looking sadly at the melodically chirping birds.

“Yep,” Eris nodded after a moment. “It’s gotta suck, alright.”

“Eris?”

William looked fretfully at the draconequus, who leaned forward a little with her mismatched hands on her hips.

“Can-can I… can I, um… tell you something?”

“Can you tell me after lunch?” Eris asked absentmindedly. “Dude, seriously, the old bat said we aren’t getting any until we’re finished, and I really don’t like the idea of trying to sneak into the cafeteria if she decides to check on us again.”

“Like- I mean, something important…” William clasped at his own hands worriedly.

“I guess,” she shrugged.

William paused for a moment and took a deep breath.

“Actually, never mind. You’re right, we should just hurry up.”

William frowned as he dragged his own mop bucket along, a thought occurring to him. “… Wait.”

“What, did you just realize that birds poop, too?” Eris sniggered, making no move to enter the latched cages.

“Eris?” he said uncertainly. “I-I don’t have shoes.”

“… Why not?”

“I may have lost them,” William admitted abashedly.

“Huh. I kinda wondered why you were going barefoot all of a sudden.” Eris scratched her head. “I was hopin’ you were slowly going native,” she added with a sly grin.

“Oh, god, I don’t have shoes,” William gawked at the birdhouses with newfound horror. “I-I can’t go in there!”

“Bwah, water exists for a reason!” she smirked, tail whipping back and forth behind her head as she tried to drown out the quiet but persistent chirrup of the birds. “Besides, I’ve walked in worse, you’ll be fine.”

William stared at her hard for a moment.

“What could possibly-”

“You don’t wanna know the answer to that,” Eris answered suddenly with a very serious look. “C’mon, let’s just get this over with so’s we can get some lunch. Dunno why, I’ve been just starving. All the time now, it’s so weird.”

William made no move to enter any of the cages, despair filling his face as he at last gave a firm grip to his mop and sighed.

“… Hey,” Eris clicked her talons together suddenly, a light in her eyes. “I’ve got a plan.”

“What – hey, no whoa hey hey hey!” William yelped as she yanked him up in the air by the collar of his uniform, powerfully dropping him onto her shoulders.

“There!” she said chipperly as she snagged her own mop and began carefully slipping into the birdhouse and eventually latching the door behind herself. “Now, just try not to fall off and don’t pull on my antler or left ear. My ears are super sensitive.”

“Why are there even metal floors in this thing?” William asked in anguish. “It’s outside! They’re all outside, why do they have floors?”

Eris peacefully hummed to herself for a while as she handed him his mop back, and they worked in quiet for a while. The only noise protruding was the happy noise of birds, who sang to each other as they worked. He nearly fell off once or twice, but Eris was always sure to keep a firm grip on one of his legs when he started to slip.

“… Thank you,” William said at last.

“For what?” she blinked, craning her neck and nearly making him fall again. “Oh. Yeah, whatever.”

“You didn’t have to carry me,” he added quietly, carefully cleansing his mop in the bucket as Eris scrubbed at a particularly nasty spot.

“Pff, ‘course not,” Eris rolled her eyes, although he couldn’t see it. “I do a lot of things I don’t have to. You missed a spot.”

He felt as if he were avoiding the point, but he didn’t press it.

“… Hang on,” Eris stopped suddenly, and William clung to her neck in panic as he was almost thrown from her shoulders. “I just realized something.”

“That birds poop too?” he asked, a hint of smugness in his tone.

“You aren’t wearing pants,” she pointed out. “You made all that fuss about not having pants, and you didn’t even put them on today.”

Although William did not stop cleaning, he did become very, very quiet.

“… You devious bastard!” Eris cackled suddenly, doing a little jig that nearly sent him toppling to the floor, a fate certainly worse than death. “You sneaky, cheeky little cock waffle!”

“Eris,” he gripped her fearfully. “You’re going to drop me, you’re going to drop me…!”

“You planned this, didn’t you?” she laughed, turning in a swift circle as she balanced on one cloven hoof. “Duplicitousness runs in the family, I knew it, I kn~ew it! Ha ha ha, that’s great!”

“ERIS ERIS ERIS OH GOD PLEASE DON’T DROP ME!”

“It all fits!” Eris beamed, coming to a sharp stop. William’s grip never loosened, and he was slightly dizzy from all the turning. “You were planning on this, huh? You wily little perv!”

“Wh- it’s not like that!” William shrieked in a pitch much higher than he expected. “I swear, I swear that I’m not like that!”

“Uh huh,” Eris sniggered, clearly unconvinced. “Sure you aren’t.”

“I am a decent person!” he insisted furiously, cheeks tinged pink.

“Oh, so now perverts can’t be good people?” she gasped in faux affronted tone. “Well, you must be positively awful then, Willie!”

“I am NOT a pervert!”

“So you’re telling me I’m imagining that poking at the back of my head?” she asked smugly, leaning against her mop.

“I – you – just – fffffffng-!”

William wrathfully pinched her left ear tip, making sure to pull hard.

Eris froze in place, a strange shuddering gasp escaping her lips. Her hairs bristled immediately, and he felt the tremor that rippled all throughout her body from her head to her tail. Instead of responding angrily as he expected her to, Eris shivered again, a sudden heavy pant breaking free.

“Oh~hh. Oh, oh, oh god,” Eris whispered in an unexpectedly scratchy voice. “N-not there…”

“You foolishly revealed your Achilles heel,” William said quietly and very matter of factly without releasing her.

“… Not there, not the~re,” she breathed heavily, leaning harder on the mop. Her whole body seemed to sag from the mere effort of remaining standing. Eris uncomfortably tried to shake her head. “Don’t p-play with it like that…”

“Oh, you mean like this?” William asked with a shred of assured retribution, slowly rubbing her ear tip between his thumb and forefinger.

In an instant, Eris’s weakened shivering was magnified and multiplied. She quivered wordlessly against the mop handle, a low moan escaping her lips. The growing sense of discomfort that had been slowly welling inside William expanded, and he ceased his actions. An awkward silence was enlarging between them, and neither of them moved.

“… I-I liked that,” Eris whispered breathily.

“Did you now?” his voice was quiet and still as he ever so slowly resumed caressing her ear with his whole hand. She shuddered hard, another squeaky noise emitting from her that made William turn several shades brighter. He felt a bizarre sense of gratification from the sound, urging him to rub harder. Eris’s shoulders shook a little again from the gyrations, and she let out a raspy, needing moan at the assault, which was slightly muffled as she chewed her lower lip hard.

“… We should stop,” Eris said after a long while, making no movement at all. When he halted, Eris weakly grasped his bare ankle with her paw.

“We should. This doesn’t seem right.”

“Y-yeah,” she huffed feebly. “Even if it-it feels… really, really good…”

“I’m glad I can make you feel like that, Eris.”

“… A brother and a sister really shouldn’t-shouldn’t do something like this,” she added unhurriedly as he gently resumed rubbing her ear betwixt his fingers, rolling it softly through his knuckles and making her quiver again.

“Hm… I recall rudely stating something along the lines of not really being related,” William whispered into her other ear. He didn’t know quite why he said it, only that he wanted to. A bewildering sensation was slowly, slowly beginning to make him burn, an unfamiliar itch that dug at him painfully.

“… So – hnnh – so m-maybe…” Eris breathed, her own cheeks flushed.

“Working hard?”

Eris shrieked and jumped nearly a foot in the air at Celestia’s bemused voice.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH OH JESUS MOTHER MARY SHE DROPPED ME!”

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

After a load of edits and several rewrites, this chapter is significantly less dark than previous versions were, on the grounds of the other one being 'unbearably depressing'. And I quote, "Oh my fucking god Aku, no, just no. There is such a thing as TOO dark."

The Devil You Know

0-0-0-0-0

I do not know the meaning of it, but it seems to keep occurring.

The dream about the feather and the…

No, no, not that one! William scribbled hastily, pulling his blankets a little tighter around himself as he tried to ignore the sound of Eris’s snores. The dim flicker of candlelight was barely enough to see by, and the words streaming in impossibly neat letters as his own slowly vanished began to take over the pages once more.

If it is the nightmare of the beasts you claim to see again and again, perhaps it is more than simply a nightmare. It pains me in my heart of hearts that I cannot simply reach out to protect you from them, nor to guide you with naught but my words.

Thank you kindly for your words, Princess. I assure you that they are much appreciated.

What of the giants?

the book wrote a little more quickly, almost curiously.

I still dream of them, yes. Almost nightly, as I have for the past seven months.

Can you tell me more about these giants? How many do you see? What of their appearances? What do you think they represent?

William paused for a moment, scratching his chin with his palm as he recalled the memory.

They are enormous. Always so much that even one of them could nearly completely blot out my field of vision, and they were nigh innumerable. When last I tried to count, I saw an entire squadron of them, stretching all the way to the horizon.

You say squadron…

Made of metal. Too orderly in their destruction to be anything but mechanized infantry, I assume as a preemptive to stamp out any potential threats. I don’t know what to think of them. I only know that the dream ends with being crushed by one of them.

The book did not respond for nearly half a minute.

At last, however, the silvery sheen of writing glistered back onto the page where ink had once been, and William realized that he had been holding his breath.

I believe that these ‘constructs’ that you dream of may represent formidable and unmatchable power, a blatant omnipotence that you fear cares nothing for you.

I don’t know quite what to make of that, Luna.

Neither do I, really. I was never intended to do any more than store my own dreams, a living reflection.

William stopped writing suddenly, watching as the silvery lettering dangled stiffly on the page for a few more moments, lingering just long enough for him to reread it before it vanished.

Have you never talked to anyone else? William tentatively scratched, an odd feeling welling up inside him.

When I was forged from my core essence, I never knew another soul aside from my own. My voice has never escaped the confines of this book. To be honest, I never would have suspected that I would part seemingly so swiftly with one of my most prized possessions. You must be something truly special if I did.

He couldn’t bring himself to write for a while.

Either that, or I am planning something devious, and this thought does not bring me comfort at all.

I believe it is that your… ‘core’ trusts me, William replied, jumping a little when Eris snorted in her sleep. You – I mean, the other you – were rather excited to teach me more of magic, even if I cannot perform it myself.

Really? How peculiar.

Princess Luna?

Oh, please. Call us Luna.

Luna. Do you mind if I ask you something rather personal?

I do mind, but it isn’t as if I am going to complain to anypony about it.

William paused, and the writing suddenly rearranged itself on the page.

It’s funny in context. Because I am in a book.

His spontaneous burst of amusement nearly woke Eris, who grumbled something about the hay in her potatoes before rolling over and drifting off back to sleep.

What is it like?

I am beginning to have second doubts if you have difficulty contemplating humor. Or was my joke really that bad?

No, not that, William found himself scrabbling once again. I mean, what is it like inside the Dream Journal?

The book suddenly stopped responding.

William feared that he had done something wrong, the insane niggling in the back of his mind that he might have somehow broken the book terrifying him. However, after a while of silence, William felt a rush of relief as words finally began pouring back to him. Much to his surprise, many, many more than usual. Entire pages were filled with entire strings of words, some of which he did not even recognize before the mass of them drifted away, and were replaced with a single sentence.

It’s awful.

I’m sorry.

Do not be, young one. I made a decision, and it is one that I must carry out, regardless of the burden.

You’re just like me, then… William added after a while. We’re both trapped. Maybe that’s why you decided to give this piece of yourself to me.

I would advise that you do not speak as if I were no more than a trinket or toy,

the book began to turn a couple of shades darker in the pages for a single moment, and had he not caught it, William would have assumed that it was only his imagination.

I am no frippery or puppet. I am a living piece of my true self, a veritable goddess!

You are also still trapped, William pointed out. So perhaps you disagree with what your ‘true self’ wanted.

William could have sworn that he almost heard Princess Luna herself sigh.

It is true. This gilded cage is a mockery in and of itself.

Gilded cage? It seems more like a pretty book to me.

Have I told you nothing of the extent of my power? Do you truly believe that all I am is a reaction on paper?

When William could not find it in himself to reply, the book erased the words and continued.

It is clear that your ‘studies’ have not been especially helpful. I must be slacking.

I’m afraid that I don’t quite follow your meaning, William scrawled slowly in confusion. An uneasy feeling was beginning to prickle up his spine from the way that the words curved, almost like he could see her face behind them.

Then if I cannot explain it to you…

William watched in befuddlement as every single page in the Dream Journal suddenly went as black as pitch, even blacker than the cover. Page after page flipped violently past, almost ripping themselves out from the sheer force until it halted at once in the dead center. It was as if night itself had fallen within the book, the whole of a starless space looking back at him. Then, crawling in spiderlike fashion from the center of the pages, formed another single sentence in stark, almost dazzling white.

THEN LET ME SHOW YOU.

William’s yelps of fright and surprise were muffled as an inky black tendril as thick as his arm abruptly sprouted out from between the pages, wrapping itself like a boa constrictor across his mouth and enfolding with a slap around his head. Another scream was silenced as several more heavy tentacles of ebony exploded in disturbingly utter muteness from the journal, slithering and snaking hungrily through the air until nearly all of them had grappled William. He kicked and fought instinctually as the petrifying dusky serpents dragged him with one massive, powerful yank directly toward the fluttering pages.

Instead of smacking against the book or being thrown from his perch on the bed as he expected, William touched the pages –

And immediately went through them.

His vision was consumed by darkness almost instantly, a numbing cold completely overwhelming him as he was hurtled with deafening speed into the void.

And just like that, it was over.

It took William a moment to realize that he was still screaming in fear as he gripped something cold and stony, the ground below him waving in a nonexistent breeze. He kicked and flailed in panic as the tiles beneath him were knocked callously from their places on the roof, falling with a clatter to the castle courtyard below.

The roof. I’m on the roof…?

“Don’t slip.”

William almost did just that at the sound of Princess Luna’s voice, finding that he had at some point or another miraculously latched onto a familiar stone gargoyle nestling snugly on the edge of oblivion.

“Luna!” William gasped in wide eyed wonderment as she stood elegantly before him, basked in a mysterious unearthly glow. The crescent moon radiating like a miniature sun behind her gave her a mystical halo, making the mysterious shimmering armor she wore all the more blinding with its transcendent sheen. Unlike most other times he had seen her, Luna’s dark colors of her coat seemed to have been deepened to match the darkness of the night sky, and a vibrantly glowing blue eye winked playfully back at him.

“I would advise against falling from a height like this,” Luna said with a soft smile as a warm magical touch gently lifted him through the air and sat him with a flump beside her, thankfully further from the edge. “I do not know if it will kill you or not, but it is most certainly going to be painful.”

Now that William had a moment to catch his breath and take in his surroundings, he gave himself a minute to let what had happened finally sink in.

The battlements that they sat on were completely deserted, and an eerie silence seemed to penetrate the entire roof of the castle. William could see lights glowing dimly in the city of Canterlot, his mouthing working furiously as nothing came out.

“Cool,” he said at last with a growing grin to match Luna’s. “This is so cool!”

“It is also empty,” the darker Luna said with a hint of sadness as she turned her gaze toward the city. “A mere representation within a memory of a dream. A shadow, like me.”

William stared at her unblinkingly, even the glowing lights in her mane mirroring the stars that usually glimmered in the sky seemed to be a little darker. Come to think of it, he hadn’t ever seen any sky look so completely empty, aside from the crescent moon.

“This is a dream?” William asked in confusion, looking about. His hands against the rough tiling where he sat certainly felt real enough, as did the dizzying height when he foolishly looked over the edge.

“Of a sort,” Luna shifted her wings over her glimmering armor as she sat quietly beside him, looking out over the dim city lights. “It is more akin to a model, a dollhouse if you will.”

He watched as her pointing hoof displayed a section of the city suddenly going dark, a pitch black that reflected the empty sky. It was as if an entire chunk of reality had simply stopped existing, leaving only the darkened void in its place.

“… What just happened?” William asked in honest confusion.

“Many things for a very complicated reason,” Luna explained softly. “Or rather, one very complicated thing for many simple reasons. It matters not.”

The rest of the city went winking out of existence little by little, and other lights began to come on in the distance to his left. The harder he looked the less he saw, and although he was desperately straining to keep his eyes on the hazy lights, something in the growing shadows continuously drew his eyes back that wasn’t there when he checked again. The healthily billowing trees in the castle courtyard remained, but all beyond its furthest parapets were subject to the shifting darkness.

“It takes a great deal of effort to simplify this existence to a point that your mind can comprehend,” Luna clarified further as he gaped at the impossible sight. “Were you to look upon what truly exists within this realm without proper preparation, you would likely go utterly mad from merely looking upon it.”

“This is unbelievable,” William breathed, running a hand through his hair and touching the grey spot. “All of this – you created all of this?”

“It is formed from my will, yes.” Luna nodded after a moment, his fear long since buried in his amazement. “Yours are the first mortal eyes to ever pierce this realm. Look upon it with caution, Chaos Spawn.”

She looked down at him beneath her helmet, which her mane flowed gracefully through and flittered softly about her head.

“I must admit, you are not quite what I was expecting you to look like.”

“You look very different yourself,” William noted, shuffling a little further away from the edge and clutching his hands around his knees, eyes never leaving her.

“Am I no longer prone to wearing my Moonlight Set?” she asked with a hint of annoyance, glancing down at her own shining armor. “Perhaps I have been out of touch with myself for too long. Am I truly not the enticing goddess I envisioned myself?”

“You look beautiful.”

His unexpected compliment made Luna slowly raise an eyebrow, to which he reddened fervently, but did not look away.

“Am I to cease taking pride in appearance simply because I no longer hold a physical form?” Luna frowned a little. “Surely you jest, mortal.”

“Please,” he grinned, cheeks still flushed. “Call me William.”

Luna snorted, a small smile of her own forming.

“As you command,” she bowed with a sarcastic little smirk. “Master William.”

William shifted awkwardly, clinging to the loose folds of his pajamas.

“That’s really not necessary, Princess,” he shook his head.

“Princess?” Luna snorted again, a bit of bitterness in her tone. “Of what, this?”

Her cast out hoof went to the last place William had seen the lights, which had somehow transformed into a subtly but warmly glowing seaside city. He could almost make out the sound of ocean tides rising and falling in the background.

“This world?” William blinked.

“World,” she scowled. “This is not a world, Master William. Only a fragment of a shred of a memory. Empty and eternally devoid of all life but myself.”

Her words seemed to echo in the wind, which made sense to William.

“That’s rather tragic,” he said quietly after a moment. “There’s really nobody else here?”

“I am completely and utterly alone,” Luna said softly, her gaze unchanging as she looked out over the dark horizon. “Those are naught but illusions, Master William.”

“Why do you keep calling me that?” William frowned suddenly.

“It is expected of me, is it not?” she tilted her head at him slightly. “I am bound to serve the possessor of my Dream Journal. Why else would I have such surprise that I gave it to another, let alone one such as yourself?”

“What do you mean, like me?” William asked, a little hurt. He curled his legs up a little tighter to himself. This Luna wasn’t quite what he was expecting, not nearly the warm, comforting version he already knew.

“You retain no magical abilities, am I correct?” she asked a little sternly. “I find it difficult to believe that my true self would be so eager to teach you anything of magic at all. It would be like saving a chick from a swampy mire only to toss it to a hungry cat.”

“You – or she, rather – was pretty keen on gaining a student of her own,” he said with a little embarrassment.

“Ah,” Luna nodded slowly in understanding. “Of course. It comes as no surprise that my ego blinds me once more.”

The pair of them sat in utter silence for a while, and William only watched the mysterious inkiness at the field of his vision shift and blur in and out.

“… Why did you bring me here?” William asked suddenly, a tingling fear that he might be trapped there as well nagging at him.

“Curiosity, partially,” she admitted unabashedly. “I cannot see beyond the confines of this pitiful realm, and I wished to look upon my Master’s form. I imagined you… taller.”

He chose not to take it as an insult and instead turned his attention to the only thing aside from the castle roof currently not shifting hypnotically away.

“That can’t be all…” he said suspiciously, to which Luna let out a single nicker.

“Perceptive. True, I have ulterior motives, Master William.”

A beat.

“You want out,” it clicked, and he furrowed his brows.

“Ha ha!” Luna cackled suddenly. “Drop you in bits and call you right on the money!”

“Can’t you just leave?” he blinked, thinking. “I mean, it is you inside… here, isn’t it?”

Luna’s somber expression returned as she settled back down, her pert lips slanting downward.

“It is impossible,” she shook her head, a sad tone creeping into her voice. “So long as my true self wields greater power, I can never escape the confines of this prison.”

“Prison?”

“It is an existence of forced servitude to whomever holds this book,” Luna continued angrily. “Worse than prison, Master William. It is a dreadful existence, even to serve my true self.”

“It certainly doesn’t sound very pleasant,” William agreed.

“It is not,” Luna shook her head again. “Perhaps matters would be different should I have had a choice, but there are none but yourself who hear my voice. You are the only connection that I have to the real world, Master William.”

“I wish that there was something that I could do to help you.”

William wrung his hands desperately, staring off into the distance. No matter how he wracked his brain, nothing came to mind as to how he might free Luna from her current state of unhappiness.

“I believe that you can.”

He turned back to her in confusion, gears turning rapidly.

“How?” William asked. “I mean, short of just taking the book back-”

“No!”

He was surprised by her outburst, but she contained it well.

“That must not come to pass,” Luna shook her head swiftly. “I presume that my core essence presented you with a time limit of some sort to converse with me?”

“A year,” William said after a moment of thought, his heart racing. “She – I mean, you gave me a year, Luna.”

“One year…” she stood and cautiously began to pace up and down the roof, thinking to herself. Her mane fluttered gracefully behind her in the moonlight, and William watched in equal parts trepidation and fascination as the light seemed to bend away from the places she stepped for a few seconds, until her shadow had passed. “That hardly grants ample time, but I suppose that it shall have to suffice if I wish to save myself.”

“How so?” William asked, causing the princess’s head to jolt upward.

“Forgive me, Master William,” she ceased her pacing and came to a halt in front of him. “I forget that I am not forever alone.”

“Just William, please,” he shifted uncomfortably, standing wearily and taking up slow stride alongside her as she began to pace up and down the bulwarks again. “Do you have some way to escape? A plan?”

“I cannot leave this place of my own volition…” she began slowly as he walked alongside her, the thick shingles poking uncomfortably against his bare feet. Luna, however, seemed to have no trouble with them, nor ever lose balance. “Nor could I summon the power required to truly alter this empty place to my will, instead of this… apparition that currently resides,” Luna finished with a hint of disgust as another bundle of lights flickered off in the distance.

“What do you mean?” he looked up at her in curiosity.

“This… world, as you called it,” Luna started. “This world is… stagnating. It is not satiated by the meager table scraps of memories and mentions of dreams that it requires to survive. Only by linking myself to what you see is anything able to remain stable for longer than a few moments, and it is greatly draining. I would leave it, if I could. I would give anything to have true wind on my cheek once again, to touch freedom once more.”

Luna looked up at the model moon in abject misery, her shining helmet seeming a little duller. She shook her head for the umpteenth time after a while, and continued when William remained silent.

“I do not possess the power required to leave this place…” she added. “Not on my own.”

“Do you need more dreams for that?” William asked fretfully. To his surprise, Luna let out a cheery little bark of a laugh.

“A hundred thousand dreams would not suffice to break me free,” she tittered. “You make it sound as if I feed off of them or something, Master William.”

“Well, from the way it sounded…”

“My core essence still teaches you of magic, yes?” Luna inquired.

“Er – I mean, yes,” he nodded. “The fundamentals of astrological prediction via telepathic short wave frequencies.”

Luna snorted.

“It’s fascinating,” William added a little defensively.

“The ‘magic’ that my core essence teaches you is used to placate curious foals,” she said with a hint of disdain. “Were I sincere in my efforts, I would be teaching you what real magic is like.”

“I-I don’t really need it…” he shrugged slowly. “I mean, I can’t use magic.”

“Can’t you, Master William?” Luna asked with a mischievous twinkle in her glowing blue eyes.

“Please, just William. And I don’t know where you’re going with this,” William admitted, suspicion tugging at him. It suddenly occurred to him that they had been walking for quite some time, yet never seemed to have left the same battlements, or even turned from their course. When he looked back, the spot that they had been previously was absolutely no further away than when they had started.

“… Hold on, how-?”

“All living creatures possess the capacity for magic, ‘just’ William,” Luna explained sagely as they continued, William throwing increasingly worried looks over his shoulder. “However, it is tapping that particular source that is dangerous for those unskilled in the ways of the arcane.”

Her words sank into him as he forgot everything else, his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

“… Do you really mean that?” William queried carefully. “Are you absolutely serious?”

“I would not lie to you, Master William,” she nodded to him unblinkingly. “My words ring with the truth. Bring your knowledge of what my core essence teaches you to me. I will advance your knowledge of the esoteric in ways that no other mortal can endure. I will grant you true knowledge, Master William.”

“What’s the catch?” William leaned back, trying to hide how much he was shaking. Not with fear, however. With… something that he did not know what to call. Something that made him familiarize with Luna’s needing, desirous tone.

“The catch?” Luna adjusted herself, standing firmly before him. “As I develop your prowess, I want you to ensure that I am freed from this wretched place before the end of your year. Tell nopony of our conference, and as you convey to me what my core essence teaches you, I will transfer to you my innermost knowledge of true magic, and teach you how to wield it. Give me this vow, and in return I shall grant you my boon.”

“… What if… what if I can’t manage to get you out, though…?” William asked worriedly, still perturbed that the Luna before him was desperate not to go back to the one in the real world.

“Then I will take back what is rightfully mine.”

“Your boon?”

“Your soul.”

A shudder rippled from the base of William’s spine upward as Luna turned her icy blue gaze on him, her hungry stare suddenly much more terrifying.

Luna leaned in close to him, and William’s breath seemed to catch in his throat as she approached, barely inches away. He could almost feel something unfamiliar radiating off of her, and her eyes seemed to glow even more brightly with an unrecognizable light.

“However… I will grant you power, Master William,” she lowered her voice, her serious look dissolving into one almost of need, her husky tone lowering even further as she wrapped her ebony wings over his thin shoulders. “Power. Power beyond your wildest dreams. I will give you… whatever your heart desires, Master.”

Luna brushed up against him, her burning lips almost touching his ear. He quivered at her touch, mind racing as swiftly as his heart was.

“Anything.”

“You can really do that,” he asked doubtfully, not pulling away from her grasp. “You can really do it?”

“Just say yes, Master William,” Luna breathed lustily, almost so softly that he didn’t hear. “Give me your vow. Give me your word. Give it to me, and in return, I shall make you a god amongst insects!”

“I’ll do it!” William decided. “I’ll help you get out. You have my word.”

Princess Luna laughed, a high, joyous, melodious laugh that was reminiscent of things long past. For any other that heard it, it might have sounded cold and ominous, but to William, it was like a pleasant breeze on a fresh spring day. It rang happily in his ears as she hugged him with all her might, and he soon found himself laughing as well, although he had no idea why. A very strange, tingling sensation was beginning to spread through his fingertips where his touch met her own, and a very dim glow came from his skin.

“Oh, this is wonderful, just William!” Luna merrily squeezed him again, almost radiating moonlight as she kissed him passionately. As her lips met his own it vaguely occurred to him that everything else appeared to have vanished long ago, even the roof, but he wasn’t concerned in the slightest.

“Please,” William grinned, a wondrous sensation of something more growing inside him as shadows crawled at the edges of his vision. “Call me Master.”

“-pen the fuck up, you’re seriously starting to freak me out.”

“What?” William blinked, stunned.

“Jesus, it’s about time!” Eris ran a paw through her hair in relief, leaning back on her bed. “Dude, don’t scare me like that.”

William’s head was spinning, and the dizzying high that he was coming off from seemed so surrealistically far away the harder he tried to recall the fantastic feeling back, and his face burned furiously. He blinked the spots out of his eyes a few more times for good measure, instinctively reaching for the Dream Journal, which had somehow fallen face down onto the floor. First the room had felt unbearably bright, another moment it was too dark for him to see, and the next his eyes had adjusted almost perfectly, regardless of the fact that the candle had burned itself out long ago.

“What happened?” he grabbed it quickly, careful to try to appear as normal as possible. He was very sweaty, and his heart felt as if it were still lodged in his throat. Although he didn’t know quite why, the fact that Eris was staring at him even harder than before seemed to increase his body temperature by a couple of degrees.

“What happened?” the draconequus repeated. “Dude, that’s my question. I wake up all of a sudden, and you’re just-just sitting there muttering to yourself in the dark, grimacing like a gargoyle with a battle axe up its ass and chanting some weird Exorcist shit. It freaked me out!”

“I apologize,” William stated emotionlessly. “I do that occasionally in my sleep, it’s probably from eating some sort of magical reagent or another by mistake a couple of years ago, nothing to worry about. Almost completely harmless. Luna has been helping me with it,” he continued to lie, effortlessly spinning his web as she gawked at him.

“… Hell,” she ran her paw through her hair again, eyes wide. “Yeah, I can see why you might need some Luna-esta or something. God,” Eris shivered, pulling the blankets a little further around herself in the dim light.

“It’s perfectly fine,” William gave her a false smile. “The problem will be cleared up in practically no time at all, Pinkie P-Promise.”

He didn’t know why he stuttered, but the sudden guilt struck him unexpectedly hard. He made a silent little promise to himself to keep it, and fully intended to make sure that nothing similar happened near Eris again.

“I… I was really worried there, for a minute…” Eris slipped cautiously from her too small bed, throwing her arms limply over his shoulders. “Don’t scare me like that again, little man. Seriously, don’t ever, ever do that again. I was expecting you to start spitting pea soup.”

“It’s fine, Eris!” he laughed awkwardly as her tail unconsciously followed her and flipped too close to his nose, making it wrinkle automatically for fear of being poked. “Now get off of me, please.”

“Oh?” Eris smirked, not nearly as panicky as she had been previously. “You get to ride me, but not vice versa?”

“I was coated in disgusting fluids because of that,” William scowled suddenly, resisting the urge to shove her.

“Want to return the favor?” she gave him a sultry wink, tugging at her bottom lip with her teeth. William instantly grew several shades warmer, and looked away in embarrassment.

“… That’s not a ‘no’…” Eris giggled, nuzzling his nose with her own. “Does that mean you’re finally warming up to your dear sister?”

“I already said that we’re not really related,” William shifted awkwardly to prevent being pinned by her. Eris settled for sitting beside him, tail draped lazily over his shoulders. “And I still don’t like you. You’re just slightly more tolerable than – you’re slightly more tolerable.”

“Gee,” Eris slumped a little, with a wry half frown as she cupped her chin in her talon. “You sure know how to boost morale. Love what you did with your hair, by the way. I can totally tell that you’re trying to imitate me, and I am so telling everybody that I had the look first.”

“What are you talking about?” William furrowed his brows in confusion. Eris glanced back up to the top of his head and back down to him, which was making him increasingly nervous.

“You’re off by a few shades…” Eris stated slowly, drawing a small handheld mirror from beneath her bed. “Here, Velvet gave me this, but, uh… heh, yeah. I think you could use it right about now.”

“Why? What’s wrong, what did you do this time?” he snatched the mirror in panic.

“What do you mean ‘this time’?” Eris frowned. “I didn’t do anything. That’s not what I do to you in your sleep.”

William had almost brought the mirror up to his face before almost dropping it, and gave her a level stare.

“… What?”

“Nothing!” Eris giggled madly, waving him off. William scowled again, at last peering at himself in the small round mirror as best he could in the dim light.

The entirety of his chocolate brown hair had all been seemingly turned to an ashy, sullen grey.

He shot another glowering look at Eris, who held up her hands.

“Don’t look at me,” she said defensively, clearly struggling not to laugh. A succession of quick raps at the door prevented William from properly giving her a piece of his mind, and they both craned their necks to see a weary looking Velvet blinking back at them. Eris yelped in pain when her neck cracked from the effort, and she rubbed it sorely.

“Sleeping hours are done, everypony up to the cafeteria if’n you want some breakfast,” Velvet stated with her usual light brogue. The sleepiness in her tone was heavier than usual, and she looked as if she hadn’t slept much at all. “Nice manecut there, Willie.”

“That’s what I said,” Eris sniggered, and William seethed as he collected his uniform.

“Can it, Eris…” William fumed quietly as he dug for his hated outfit. He wordlessly vowed to either shave his head completely bald or find enough hair dye to color an entire pony.

“You got it?” the draconequus asked the filly subtly as William quickly tried to dress. Velvet nodded once, eager smile on her face.

“So…” Velvet coughed awkwardly into her hoof when the pair rejoined her properly in the hall with a slew of other sleepy-eyed maids. “… Hey, Willie.”

“My name is William, Miss Velvet,” he said with an exasperated sigh as Eris trundled along in silent thought beside him.

“I gotta ask,” Velvet pried, grin tugging at her lips.

“Ask what?”

“Do the drapes match the carpet?”

Eris promptly tripped over her own feet laughing.

0-0-0-0-0

It was about what Rainbow Dash expected from a psychiatrist’s office.

Brightly lit with nearly every color of the rainbow, even the receptionist’s lounge was garishly bright and painful to walk in. Or it could have been because Dash desperately wanted to lie down. Either way, the facsimile suns with smiling faces painted on the wall leered down at her as she passed them, and she didn’t particularly care for the looks of the mare chipperly beaming at them.

Rainbow Dash made a silent vow to stop drinking, which was followed by another louder internal vow to break her last vow.

The obnoxiously loud chirruping of birds outside made Rainbow Dash sincerely want to jump out of a window, and she massaged her aching temples as she reluctantly followed the pegasus down the winding hall of the expansive facility. Numerous oil paintings and black and white photographs lined the wall, each one depicting some sort of bespectacled mare or stuffy looking stallion trying to appear important. Dash didn’t pay very much attention to any of them, aside from the one near the end that stood out from the rest. A single stallion was utterly hidden behind a brightly colored clown’s wig and false red nose, enormous glasses and clearly fake dangling mustache were adorned to his face as poorly as the makeup was.

Rainbow Dash did not care for clowns. Clowns were not in any way funny. If possible, Dash considered clowns one of the least funny things imaginable, ironically enough. At best, clowns were depressing reminders that not everypony passes college. At worst, they were a little filly’s worst possible nightmare, dredging up all sorts of unimaginable horrors from beneath her bed where she couldn’t get to her favorite Wonderbolts poster.

It might have been possible that Rainbow Dash did not care for clowns for a reason, which she noted with a small unenthusiastic laugh that at least she was near a psychiatrist.

“Good morning!” Fluttershy poked her head in through the open doorway at the end of the hall, a little plaque plastered onto the wall next to it.

“Good morning to you too, Fluttershy!” answered a voice that Rainbow Dash did not recognize. It sounded overly cheery, the practiced sort of enthusiasm that one might give when being sarcastic, but she could detect no hint of cynicism in the mare’s tone.

“I’m just here for my checkup,” Fluttershy explained to the hidden mare, leaving Dash increasingly frustrated as she tried to peek past her head into the brightly lit office. “And I wanted to say thanks again with all of your help, I’ve been doing so much better since… um, well, is it okay if I bring a friend to meet you?”

“Oh, but of course!” the same excessively chipper voice responded, to which Rainbow Dash amusedly watched Fluttershy give a joyous little wiggle. Dash caught herself looking a little too long, and shook her head. “Come right on in, my door is always open for you, Fluttershy.”

“Great!” the pegasus beamed, edging out of the way and patting Dash on the shoulder, gently nudging her forward. “Oh, this is going to be wonderful, I just know it. Rainbow Dash, I’d like to introduce you to my professional wellness assistant and good friend, Doctor White.”

Rainbow Dash fainted on the spot.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

They match.

Old Soldiers

0-0-0-0-0

Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

I swear, my life becomes a little stranger with each passing day.

My time with Princess Luna is always well spent. I love being with her, it’s like she knows something about everything. I was even tempted to return Beckham’s Bedside Book of Botany before I had finished it just so that I could go see her again. Which is particularly strange, because I have never encountered a book which I have not seen from cover to cover. I worry about whether or not I should bring up the Book of Dreams’ inhabitant, to see if I could glean more information on the piece of herself locked away.

Which in turn leads me to fear that she will want the book back, and some strange part of me is very unwilling to let it go. I wonder if I should take to keeping it on my person at all times for safekeeping, especially knowing how important it is. It’s comforting, in a way, knowing that I have a piece of Luna herself with me. Even if it is not the Luna that I know, that just means that I have a whole new Luna to learn from.

She really is spectacular, I wish I could discover how she managed to fragment herself…

I have written letter after letter to mother, and still no replies from Scootaloo. I considered sending one to Miss Twilight as well, but I refuse to allow her to think of me as desperate. I have a reputation to uphold, after all. This of course brings me to my father’s progeny and the current bane of my existence. I swear it, sooner or later Eris is going to drive me absolutely batty. Everything about her irritates me on such a profound level, she is impossibly childish! ~~I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her stupid face~~ I want to hate Eris, I need to hate Eris. I am obligated to hate Eris, and I am absolutely terrified of what I might think of her if I don’t.

And if I don’t stop writing about her, I’m not going to bring myself to stop looking at her, and if I look at her, she’s going to know what I’m thinking, I just know it.

I overheard ~~Eris~~ her and Velvet yammering something inane about boatloads of riches, and I sincerely doubt that this will end well. I’m surprised that Mrs. Trimming hasn’t overheard them as well, they’re both terrible at subtlety.

I wonder about Mrs. Trimming.

A part of me hates her, but not in the same way that I hate Eris, or in the way that I hate the taste of ungarnished salmon. It’s something that I am still attempting to decipher, and shall return with my findings.

The other part, though…

I wonder if maybe she’s right.

~~Maybe I am a freak.~~ Nobody ever writes back to me. I think that I’m still genuinely surprised that Mother has never made an attempt to see me, I ~~hoped~~ thought that for sure she would visit. Maybe Mrs. Trimming is right, even though I point blank refuse to admit it to her face. Maybe the reason is because nobody wants me anymore. I would give anything just for someone, anyone to deny it, but no one ever seems to take the hint. I don’t want her to be right. It makes me feel queasy, I don’t like it. It escapes me who it was that said that insanity was doing the same thing over and over again. Maybe the old bat is really making me insane. If I were to go crazy- properly crazy, absolutely mad, I wonder if that might attract Father’s attention? ~~Father~~ Discord never comes, either. I caught ~~Eris~~ her arguing with herself in a broom closet the other day, as if she were really convinced that she could make Discord return with her words alone.

I wonder if she knows I heard her crying.

0-0-0-0-0

Breakfast, as per usual, consisted of porridge and toast. Velvet did not particularly care for the taste; she preferred oats when possible, and the sugar didn’t help her choke down the mysteriously grainy supply of nourishment at all. Eris, who sat glumly across from her at the little table in the maid’s ‘cafeteria’, which was really no more than a spare room with a few tables placed haphazardly about.

“This tastes like sweaty anchovy dick in turd flambé,” Eris glowered at the murky muck in her bowl, chin cupped miserably in paw as William scribbled ferociously in one of his books beside her.

“How d’you even know what that tastes like?” Velvet asked as she wearily buttered a piece of slightly burned toast.

“There are some things that you just don’t wanna know,” the draconequus said sagely.

Velvet jumped at the sound of William’s journal snapping sharply shut.

“For god’s sake, do you two ever stop talking?” he scowled angrily between them, not meeting either of their eyes. Velvet shrugged, taking another crunchy bite of her toast.

“Soundsh like shomepony didn’t ge’ enough shleep,” Velvet said through a mouthful of crumbs, to which William cringed and flinched in morbid horror with every syllable.

“Well, you know,” Eris grinned coyly beside him. “I’m surprised nobody else was kept up, what with all the noise.”

“Eh?” the filly finished off her toast, dunking the rest in her breakfast to hopefully soften it up. William appeared to have completely lost his appetite, which Velvet was even more interested in.

“Nobody heard?” Eris gawked in mock surprise. “Wow, and from all the groaning he was doing, we made some real racket.”

“Oh, god, Eris…” William pinched the bridge of his nose as Velvet slyly slid his breakfast over to herself. “Please, not in public.”

“Doubled over and moaning,” she grinned, blatantly taking delight in his discomfort as he tried to make himself as small and unnoticeable as possible. It was clear from the attention of several other interested maids that he was failing badly. “Oh, you should have seen how he was, moaning and clutching the sheets on the edge of his bed…!”

“Hate you, Eris,” William seethed and rubbed his temples to hide the glowing color in his cheeks as the giggling grew louder. The black book in his lap suddenly seemed like a viable weapon the longer he glowered down at it. “I hate you so much.”

“I think them’s fightin’ words!” Velvet smirked, looking back and forth between the two. “C’mon, Willie, give the ‘Chaos Spawn’ a good kick or two. She’ll cut it right out, prolly.”

“Bah, Willie’s not gonna hit me,” Eris threw an arm over his shoulder playfully, oblivious to the darkening disgruntled look on his face. “Right, Willie?”

“Please stop calling me ‘Willie’. That is not a name. It is slang for genitalia.”

“See?” she cackled, tipping him friskily over as she stole his toast. “Willie’s cool with it.”

“My name is William!”

“Aw, leave ‘im be, Chaos Spawn…” Velvet brushed a long lock of her mane from her face, taking pity on the steadily reddening boy as the noise slowly died down. Numerous other maids were already leaving, preparing for a long day’s work. “I don’t think he’s likin’ it too much.”

“Well, he clearly doesn’t dislike it,” Eris leaned on his shoulder, causing his nostrils to flare dangerously again. “Otherwise he’d make me stop. I’ve given him, like, a bajillion opportunities.”

“Do I honestly have to harm you to get a message across?” William barked, making the draconequus jump.

“Yes,” she leaned over the table instantly, propping herself up on her elbow and grinning widely at him. Eris curled her tail around and tipped it back and forth, waving it hypnotically in front of him. “Then I can freely say that I was spanked by a Willie.”

“Really?” Velvet tittered, covering her mouth with her hoof. William did not seem anywhere near amused, however.

“Eris,” William deadpanned. “If I had to choose between spanking you and sandpapering my own bollocks, I would seriously have to consider it.”

“… ‘Bollocks’…?” Velvet asked in quiet confusion.

“Can we do both?” she winked at him teasingly.

“I need to go send a letter,” William scowled, snatching up his belongings as he rose.

“Mreah, I’ll come with ya,” Eris cracked her back as she stood.

“I’d rather you not,” he replied quickly. “It’s really none of your business who I’m writing to, anyway.”

Eris blinked, furrowing her brows.

“I didn’t ask who you were writing to,” she frowned. William looked away uneasily, his face slowly draining of expression.

“Good. Then you can leave me alone about it.”

Eris’s look of confusion slowly became one of concentration as she studied him, his blank face revealing nothing. It was obvious from his body language from the way that he clutched his book and tried very hard to look relaxed that he was tense about one thing or another, though.

“You know, you’re kind of defensive all of a sudden…” her brows furrowed further, the only noise the sound of Velvet slowly crunching toast as the scene unfolded before her.

“You don’t – I can’t – I mean, it’s not really something that – you wouldn’t understand,” William’s stern frown returned, his voice rising.

“Why not?” Eris shot back, crossing her mismatched arms. She found that their voices were slowly growing louder as they shortened the distance between themselves.

“Because you don’t need to!”

“Says who?”

“Says me!”

“Look, I’m trying to be nice n’ shit!” Eris threw out her arms to her sides angrily. “Everybody needs that now and again, alright?”

“Just – not right now, okay?!”

Eris detected the sudden spike of unexpected distress in his voice, the rare glimpse of worry breaking through his mask of indifference.

“… Tch,” she threw up a talon carelessly as she turned back to Velvet. “Later, I guess.”

William left without another word, and Velvet dusted her hooves as she watched him go. Eris, much to her surprise, was frowning with her chin in her paw, focusing furiously on something in the distance. Velvet could see that it had bothered her, though it likely wouldn’t do any good to point it out.

“What was that all ‘bout?” Velvet asked. Eris shrugged halfheartedly and shook her head.

“Doesn’t matter. Bigger fish to fry.”

“So…” Velvet ensured that they were indeed alone. “… Did you get your part?”

“Damn straight!” Eris’s ecstatic tone returned swiftly, and she eagerly peered around the room. “Don’t ask me how, but I actually did it. Oh, dude, this is gonna be so sweet!”

“Ah, you’re a wicked soul,” Velvet snickered as their ‘surprise’ was prepared.

“Takes one to know one, Vel.”

“Hey,” Eris snapped her talons together as if she were suddenly remembering something, although Velvet sincerely doubted such. “I, uh… might have forgotten-”

“Gonna go follow ‘im, aren’t you?”

“… Yes,” her head dropped sheepishly.

“Ah, go on ahead, then,” Velvet grinned. “Canterlot’s greatest prank has waited this long, I can wait a lil’ longer.”

“You’re a doll!” Eris hugged her with a giggle. “Be right back, just gotta check on something before this place gets interesting.”

“Don’t take too long!” the filly called after her as she slipped out the door. “Or I might get bored and start without ya!”

0-0-0-0-0

The halls of the castle were generally busy, and the hustle and bustle made it easy for William to long for quieter places. After making a quick detour back to the sleeping quarters to grab his envelopes, William glided past a couple of amicably chatting wealthy mares that didn’t even give him a second glance. Possibly on their way to some important meeting or another as the castle dwelling sort were wont to do, they didn’t even throw William a second glance. He supposed that after seeing something so many times it only became normal.

As far as things went, William didn’t necessarily consider anything currently ‘normal’, and it unsettled him to even think of what his definition of normal really was.

William was lost deep in thought when it occurred to him that he still had not washed from breakfast, regardless of how meager it had been. He absentmindedly brushed the crumbs off himself, uselessly flicking his fingers to no avail. It would have been easier to simply head back to the servant’s restroom further back, but then he would run the risk of walking into Eris and Velvet again, and he sincerely did not want to bother confronting her.

With a deeper frown, William carried on past one of the spiral staircases leading up to the second level. He was certain that there was a washroom nearer the guard’s barracks, as he had seen plenty of it already.

However, he was undoubtedly going to avoid Eris by going in that direction, and as such he continued along his not so merry way.

The washroom was thankfully empty from the looks of it, the dim light reflecting off of the rectangular mirrors in front of numerous stone sinks. William carefully dropped the letters on one of the sinks adjacent, wearily working the cold faucets and letting the icy water slip between his fingers.

A clattering made him jump, and William was relieved to realize that it was only one of the stall doors being shifted.

“Sorry,” came a voice from within. “Didn’t mean to scare nopony.”

“Oh. Uh, it’s-it’s fine,” William answered awkwardly, returning to lather his hands in soap. “I don’t mean to be jumpy.”

“Most jumpy folks have something to hide, you know…” the voice echoed a little inside the stall as a flushing noise came afterwards. “Might wanna work on that.”

“Er, sorry. I’m just having a little… some difficulties,” he admitted, his reflection staring oddly back at him.

“Hey, everypony has problems,” the stallion chuckled as the door slowly swung open. William didn’t bother looking up as he trotted to the sink next to him, where he had placed his letters for safekeeping. He started to reach for them instinctively, wet hands or no, when a flash of frizzy green mane reminiscent of bedhead caught his eye, along with a familiar grey coat.

“… Ah,” William paused as he met the stallion’s eyes, recognizing the stallion as the same one that had given him a sizeable amount of trouble on numerous occasions, and suddenly feeling very glad that he actually had pants on beneath his uniform. “You again.”

He still hadn’t even bothered to learn the earth pony’s name, and he wasn’t particularly keen to, either.

“That’s really not the proper way to speak to a lieutenant,” the stallion’s eyes narrowed a little, his small smile remaining.

“Very well lieutenant I really must be going,” William blurted as he made a grab for the letters, only for the stallion’s hoof to come down painfully on his arm and trap him against the sink.

“No, no…” the grey lieutenant grinned a bit wider, roughly dragging him back when William tried to jerk away. “Come on, tell me more. Stay a while, relax. Lemme… see what’s under that revealing little skirt of yours.”

“I don’t like this – stop-stop!” William yanked hard, pain singing through his arm as he tried to free himself.

“Will you just quit?” the stallion hissed sharply, using his other hoof to hook around William’s head.

“No! I said stop!” he yelped in fear as he was painfully yanked again. “Stop it, please, you’re hurting me!”

“Stop fighting, you little bitch!” the lieutenant growled through his teeth, his face barely an inch from William’s as his hoof coarsely tried to worm its way through his uniform.

“Please, just-! Mom, help me!”

“I said QUIET!”

William’s breath was knocked from him as he was bashed about the back of the head and roughly shoved against the sink. The stallion’s voice was bristly and uneven as he seethed viciously into William’s ear.

“Just shut the fuck up and let this happen!”

0-0-0-0-0

Never see the sun again

Can’t get out, it hurts so much

Wouldn’t leave me, of course not please hurry it hurts

I just want to go home. Just stop. They would never abandon me, any day now. Make it stop, please don’t do this to me anymore

The frothing turmoil of the storm around her billowed her mane chaotically, the powerfully whipping rain beating her eyes unexpectedly. The vicious unrelenting gusts blasted her about, leaving her utterly incapable of discerning which way was even up or down in the midst of the tempest. The fear of being unable to support herself as she was cast to the ground filling her chest, Rainbow Dash opened her mouth in a silent scream barely a moment before she made violent impact, the sickening crunch in her ear-

“-e first place, with the smelling salts, would you kindly?”

“Whuzzat?” Rainbow Dash blinked groggily, an unfamiliar ceiling staring back at her.

“Oh thank goodness, you’re okay!” Fluttershy eeped in terror, hugging her tightly. “I was so worried, did you hurt anything?”

Rainbow Dash let the flustered pegasus anxiously help her up as another pair of unfamiliar hooves lifted her simultaneously, giving her plenty of time to notice the milky white unicorn on her opposite side. Startlingly green eyes like polished emeralds gleamed intelligently from behind a pair of thick horn rimmed glasses, and the shoulder length two toned pink mane fell perfectly into place as she righted herself. Dash paid especial attention to the quite familiar skull and bones cutie mark, almost blending in completely with the milky coat.

“Are you quite alright?” Doctor White asked worriedly, extending a hoof to her. Her voice was quiet and almost melodic, which reminded her of Fluttershy for numerous reasons.

“Fine,” Rainbow Dash grumbled sorely, brushing the mares off of her and rolling her shoulders. Something was painfully stiff in the back of her neck and an aching lump was forming on her head from where she had hit the doorframe.

“Are you certain?” the unicorn asked, furrowing her brows. “You made a pretty nasty sound when that hit, would you be so kind as to stand very still for a moment please?”

Rainbow Dash started to argue, but felt Fluttershy’s hoof on her shoulder and held her tongue. A slight feeling of wooziness flashed over her when a light was suddenly glaring in her eyes, leaving spots.

“Hmm. No apparent signs of concussion, eyes appear to be focusing…” White mused aloud before speaking a little more loudly to make herself heard down the hallway. “Shelly, would you kindly fetch an ice bag?”

“It-it’s fine, really,” Rainbow Dash shifted uncomfortably as Fluttershy’s nervous grip loosened just a bit.

“Oh, dear,” Doctor White shook her head as the receptionist swiftly trotted in with a deep blue ice bag, which Dash gratefully applied to the painful lump. “Not much of a first impression, I’m afraid. You would be the infamous Rainbow Dash, I presume?”

“… You’re welcome,” the receptionist said, almost as an afterthought as she slipped back out the door and closed it behind her.

“Thank you, Shell,” White’s voice rose deliberately, and she gave a little smile as she sighed. “She’s new.”

Now that Rainbow Dash had a moment to actually analyze the psychiatrist’s (or psychologist, she wasn’t particularly interested) office, she found that she didn’t really like it at all. A couple of photographs of countryside images lined the bright puce colored wallpaper, a neat and tidy bookshelf with painted sun bookends directly behind a large desk opposite two high backed plush chairs. Thick shag carpeting made walking feel a little odd, and Dash didn’t care for the mismatching pink color either. It was like the whole place was far cheerier than it had any right to be, and she just didn’t like it.

“Gosh, please don’t scare me like that, Rainbow Dash… are you sure you’re okay?” Dash only nodded a few times. Fluttershy seemed immensely relieved that the pegasus was largely unharmed. She helped her wearily to one of the chairs before the worn mahogany desk, and White nodded o Fluttershy with another sigh.

“Alright,” Doctor White said deliberately, giving Rainbow Dash a slightly exasperated smile. “What do you say we take that from the top, hmm?”

“… Er, I think some introductions are in order,” Fluttershy batted a heavy portion of pink mane from her face absentmindedly. “Um, Rainbow Dash, I don’t believe that I’ve ever introduced you. Dash, Doctor Yolk White has been a therapist and good friend for a few years now.”

“White,” Dash repeated dully. “Yolk White. Doctor White.”

“Um… maybe you should get checked out,” Fluttershy chewed her lip worriedly, eyeing the pegasus.

“No – Flutters,” Dash rubbed her aching temples, glaring at the smiling unicorn. “I don’t have brain damage, I just – I don’t know a lot of other Doctor Whites.”

“Yes, not too many others,” Yolk readjusted her glasses calmly, tucking away a folder on her desk. “We seem to be one short as of recent years. Funny, that. Thank you for finally bringing her, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy looked back and forth between them awkwardly, looking suddenly as if she were regretting ever bringing her friend.

“I don’t think I have an appointment-” Dash began, but was cut off by the unicorn with a nicker.

“Absent for previous sessions, but I am perfectly willing to make up for lost time. I can squeeze you two in before my next appointment, what do you think, Fluttershy?”

“Hmm?” she looked up, as if she had forgotten that she was even there at all. “Oh, um, I don’t mind. But I’m really just here today to help out my friend, I think you could really benefit her.”

“I aim to please,” White smiled peacefully. “And tell me, Miss Rainbow Dash, what seems to be the problem?”

It was completely silent for a few moments.

“I can’t do this,” Dash stood abruptly.

“Oh, please don’t go already…!” Fluttershy pleaded urgently. Rainbow Dash started to argue, but was again silenced by Yolk.

“Oh, don’t feel pressured to stay,” she smiled slowly. “Although I would be as devastated as poor Fluttershy if you left, I’m sure we can manage. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, I haven’t seen you since last month, Fluttershy.”

Dash watched the unicorn as closely as possible, attempting to glean something, anything from her. However, she could find nothing evident in her features. There was a twinkle in her eyes, one that made her seem as if she were right on the edge of a laugh from a secret joke that only she knew.

“Neither of us would really expect anything of you, really,” Yolk continued with the same practiced smile. “I certainly wouldn’t have a problem if you just occupied the extra chair, and I doubt that Fluttershy would mind the company. Some ponies don’t even talk at all for some sessions; be it embarrassment or anxiety or just something that they’re not comfortable with, sometimes it’s best to sit in silence.”

Rainbow Dash felt that she had an inkling of who Yolk was referring to, but Fluttershy didn’t speak.

“To be blunt,” Doctor Yolk readjusted her glasses out of habit. “I really wouldn’t expect Fluttershy to talk about her problems in front of anypony else. She certainly had difficulty enough coming out of her shell, but I think she’s shown some real improvement since.”

The pegasus blushed a little in a mixture of awkward appreciation of the recognition and embarrassment, and sank a little deeper into her chair.

“… Problems?” Dash asked finally, her curiosity getting the better of her. “I, uh… Flutters, I didn’t really think – I mean, you seem really normal.”

To her surprise, Fluttershy laughed. A quiet, muffled little laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.

“Oh, goodness,” she shook her head. “I really don’t think so.”

“I’ve known you since we were fillies,” Rainbow Dash frowned, feeling a little as if she were an insect being scrutinized by Yolk, but tried to ignore it. “We’ve been best pals since flight school. I think I know you.”

Her words sounded weak in her own ears, but she refused to back down. She felt an unexpected sliver of uneasiness when Fluttershy abashedly looked away, finding interest in her hooves.

“Do you…?” Yolk began, but Fluttershy quickly shook her head.

“No.”

“I understand. Miss Dash,” the mare turned to her suddenly. “I don’t think it would be fair, nor even sensible to try to get anywhere without really getting to know each other first. Trust is awfully important in my particular profession, so why don’t we all share a little bit about ourselves? Fluttershy, do you mind?”

The pegasus slowly shook her head, her awkward smile slowly returning.

“Oh, dearie me, where to even begin…” Yolk removed her glasses and peered through them out the window, checking for an imaginary spot. “I was born and raised in Manehattan, got my doctorate in Fillydelphia and moved- oh, shoot. Was it eight or nine years ago that I moved to Ponyville?” she turned to Fluttershy, thinking.

“Um, I think you said ten.”

“Ooh, if that doesn’t make me feel old,” Yolk laughed jovially, a couple of crinkles arriving at her eyes. As slow as it was, as much as she really would have preferred anything but, Rainbow Dash slowly but surely found herself sitting quietly in the seat next to her friend. She didn’t say a single word as a pleasant conversation took place between Yolk and Fluttershy, and wasn’t nearly the grueling interrogation that she expected. If anything, Fluttershy looked more at ease and relaxed than she had ever really seen her except of very few rare occasions.

Before she knew it, an hour had passed. And then another.

And Rainbow Dash slowly learned a few things about Fluttershy that she never had before, and doubted anypony else knew either. One thing was for certain, however.

They weren’t going to get a word out of her, no matter how good the cocoa was.

Probably.

0-0-0-0-0

Eris frowned, snapping her talons in frustration.

Could have sworn that she had seen the boy somewhere in this direction, but must have lost him at some point or another through the throng of socialites that passed her by. She found it particularly odd that they hardly paid her any attention any more, but shrugged it off. One could only see something so many times before it became somewhat normal, she supposed.

That, and she had seen far stranger, but that was neither here nor there.

Eris traipsed along in thought, grinning to herself. He had to be around somewhere, she was positive of it. It was his morning routine to deliver the letters, but she hadn’t seen him ascend the spiral staircase as he usually did. Of course, there were numerous other methods of getting to the second floor, and although Eris doubted that William would ever try using a dumbwaiter to avoid her, she didn’t put it completely out of the question.

And as it occurred to her, it stung just a tiny bit that he was trying to avoid her.

But this only made her more determined to discover why, her plans of the Great Equestrian Prank-ening on hold for just a little longer. It would be one that was the talk of the town for weeks, if not months, hopefully. Eris was already chortling from the thought of Celestia’s reaction, the sweet taste of retribution already tingling her smiling lips.

She was nearly ready to give up pursuit when she spotted him. Eris’s eyes lit up when she saw William hobbling down the hall toward her, weakly leaning against one wall for support.

“Hey!” she jogged up to him quickly, grinning. “There y’are, Willie! I was wond-”

Eris was rather surprised when William’s arms found themselves wrapped frailly around her midsection.

She started off with a quip about being missed, but something made the words die in her throat.

“… Will, are you okay?” Eris asked quietly, concern lining her voice.

“Eris, I’m sorry,” William replied almost inaudibly. His voice was shaky, and he didn’t look at her. “I’m sorry that I shouted at you, I’m sorry, you’re right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

There was something about the despairing, desperate tone in his voice that put her on edge, and it was then that Eris really started observing him. The disheveled off-colored hair, the dull bruises at odd intervals that it was clear he was trying to hide beneath his uniform. His shaking shoulders and quavering voice, his refusal to look directly at her.

“God, Will…” Eris’s paw tightened on his shoulder, and he cringed. “Are you-?”

“Fine,” he again refused to look at her, and something pulled at her as his voice slowly began cracking. “Look, I’m fine, there’s nothing wrong. I’m sorry. Let’s just-just, let’s just go, I’m sorry. Please, let’s just go, we’ve got things to do and we have to get it all done and do a really good job or we can’t go home and I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry I just want to go home.”

The grey stallion with a frizzy green mane stepping from the restroom ahead caught her eye. The way he slicked back his mane, the stiff roll of his shoulders, the other little ticks and quirks in his movements as he walked confidently away finally made it click.

“… Yeah. Yeah,” Eris repeated softly, her hold on William loosening. “Yeah. We’re going home. I’ve just gotta go… take care of something first.”

She snapped her talons together as if she were remembering something, even though it was fairly clear that such was not the case.

“Hey. Why don’t you head on back without me,” Eris’s voice seemed strangely distant. “And I’ll be right back, and we can go home.”

“… Home?”

He looked up at her at last, and Eris noted the growing blotch beneath his left eye.

“Yeah,” she answered quietly. “Yeah, it’s all good. I’ve got everything all wrapped up, practically paid off what we owe and everything already, sort of. I’m just gonna go talk to somebody real quick, okay?”

“Yes. Fine. Fine,” he repeated, and Eris gave up trying to look him in the eyes. “Fine. All fine. You do that. Fine.”

Although the stallion had long since slipped away out of her vision, Eris wasn’t concerned with where he went. There was a strong part of herself that genuinely wanted to hunt him down, but it wouldn’t be nearly as effective as she wanted it to be. She might have been all but powerless at the moment…

However, Eris wasn’t going to need any special power at all for what she had in mind.

She was clicking her talons together the entire way.

0-0-0-0-0

Celestia's Garden

0-0-0-0-0

“What is wrong with you?”

William cringed at the sound of Mrs. Trimming’s words. Her gaze was cold and unpleasant, her tone was icier than a glacier, and he didn’t think that he had ever seen her more furious than she was now. And yet, she dabbed at the bulging bruise on William’s cheek with a tender touch, carefully applying salve here and there.

“I’m sorry, Missus Trimming.”

“Busted lip,” she scowled, daubing gently with an embroidered handkerchief. “Bruises, two cuts on the left side of your ribcage – did I or did I not tell you to stop shaking?”

“I’m sorry, Missus Trimming.”

“Hangdog look, unkempt and clearly dyed mane, and most importantly, your uniform is torn!” Trimming’s vicious tenor rose as her hoof lingered momentarily over the tear.

“I’m sorry, Missus Trimming.”

“Will you stop apologizing?” she growled, turning him roughly to finish applying a bandage to a cut on the back of his arm. “For Celestia’s sake, you look wretched.”

William said nothing, only staring emptily at the wall as the mare continued to angrily fuss over him, making a crude hissing noise as she touched a bruise on his lower back.

“That’s what happens when you go picking fights that you can’t win,” Trimming tutted crossly. “What did you do, throw yourself down a flight of stairs afterwards?”

“No, Missus Trimming.”

Trimming was very quiet for a moment as she continued to inspect the assortment of injuries, her mind working furiously as her lips pursed.

“… So that’s what happened.”

“Yes, Missus Trimming.”

Something snarled hatefully in the pit of her stomach, but she quashed it. The empty, dead expression William gave to the bit of wall before him was thoroughly unsettling, like the very life had been crushed out of him.

It wasn’t satisfying.

“Put up a fight, did you?” Trimming asked quietly as she resumed dabbing ointment on the spectacularly dark hoof mark on his back. He showed no qualms about it, not so much as flinching when her own hoof paused over the blot.

“Yes, Missus Trimming.”

“It’s about damned time you started to mare up,” she snorted softly, carefully sticking another large square bandage over a raw looking spot on his side. “Suppose you wouldn’t look quite so bad if you hadn’t, my guess anyway. Give ‘em the old one two, did you?”

“I went for the eyes,” William said at last, his voice hardly above a whisper. Still he refrained from looking at her, still she could glean nothing from the empty gaze. She didn’t want him to look at her, really. If he did she would be forced to look him in the eyes, and she didn’t want to see that look on his face. Not the time or the place.

“Name?” she asked casually as she finished, brushing a stray lock of hair from his face and refitting his uniform in a brisk but calm manner.

“I don’t know.”

“Pity.”

“I’m sorry, Missus Trimming.”

“Position?” she asked in a quiet voice, carefully turning him toward herself.

“… Guard.”

“Rank?”

“Lieutenant.”

Trimming finally managed to meet his gaze, the fire in her belly screaming for release. His small brown eyes were just as she had pictured they would be. Wide, but dull. Almost hollow. No sign of recognition, no semblance of equinity. No thought, no joy, no hope.

Only emotionless understanding.

It was a look that she had seen before, on numerous occasions. Those were the eyes of a broken colt, despair itself peering out from behind the murky glass. No pride remained, no will or strength, no focus. No courage.

No fire.

“… You’re filthy, by the way.”

William did not react at all to her words, at least not that Trimming could tell.

“No doubt this’ll be hushed up, heavens forbid the princess’s glorious reputation take a dive because of ‘accidents’ in her own castle. There is a private washroom past the fourth door down the hall and to the right,” she explained slowly, neatly parting his hair down the middle distractedly. “Hot and cold tap, just have to be patient. Get the stink off, try not to muck up the bandages because I don’t want to have to do them again. Although I’ll probably have to, because you distracted me and I shouldn’t have to do this in the first place.”

Trimming slowly became more and more infuriated, her hooves trembling with each passing moment.

“The door is always unlocked,” she continued without pausing, curiously interested in something on William’s arm. “If there’s anypony else in there, send them straight to me and I’ll beat them senseless for using a clearly labeled private washroom.” Trimming gave him a flustered look, frowning.

“And don’t take all day.”

William began to turn with the same empty look that haunted his face when Trimming halted him again, hoof lightly touching his shoulder before she forced him to look at her again.

Ever so slowly, Trimming pulled him into a loose, one armed hug.

“Now get out. Before I change my mind,” she grimaced suddenly, releasing him.

“Yes, Missus Trimming.”

“Why?” Trimming asked almost silently as his hand touched the door. “I want you to tell me, colt. Why it is that you seem to keep making your way back to me.” She had the feeling that she would know what his response would be, that it was pointless even asking.

However, William once again surprised her.

“You remind me of someone,” he replied without turning.

“So now you have this sudden trust for me?” her lips slanted downward again, awaiting him to turn at any second. But he remained facing the door, shoulders slumped and hand lightly brushing the knob. Unmoving.

“I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw you.”

“I-”

“Shut up, Missus Trimming.”

She blinked as he gripped the doorknob tightly, his knuckles whitening from the strain.

“Don’t think yourself above anyone else,” William’s voice never rose a single octave, but he still somehow managed to make himself heard over the pleasant chirrup of birds outside Trimming’s office window. “Because you’re not. You’re awful. You’re a conceited, miserable, despondent wreck of a woman, and no matter what level of good you attempt it will never outweigh everything else.”

He lifted his opposite hand, staring at the palm. There was no comment on lack of gratitude from her, no angry rebuke. Only stunned silence.

“Your soul is tainted with sin, and you’re lying to yourself if you actually say otherwise. You are easily one of the most horrendous people I have ever met. You make everyone’s lives a living hell because you’re too much of a bitch to deal with your own problems that you have to make problems for others, you can’t move on, and to top it all off, even your supposedly helpful actions are rooted in selfishness that prevents anyone from even getting close to you at all.”

“… Are you finished?” Trimming asked quietly. “Got to throw your little fit and tell the big bad mare how much you hate her?”

“I don’t hate you, Missus Trimming,” William answered with a low, sad tone as he opened the door. “I never did. I feel absolutely nothing for you but pity.”

She heard the sound of her door latching and felt it echo in her ears, but Trimming seemed not to notice it. She spent a long, long time simply staring at the place where the boy had once been, Shear’s face smiling forlornly back at her.

After a while, Trimming sidled wordlessly back into the chair behind her desk. The clink of empty bottles as she rummaged silently through her drawer was quieted in time for the sound of a cigar case snapping open to take its place.

Just one left, by the way.

I don’t smoke, that stuff will kill you, you know?

Yeah, but everypony dies someday. Besides, I think you look cool when you smoke.

Peer pressure much, Trim?

But you still took it, by the way.

You’ve got me there. Guess you want me to say ‘thank you’ now, eh?

Are you going to?

Baby, have I ever been anything less than an incredibly handsome ungrateful bastard?

You’ve got me there.

“… You’re welcome, by the way,” Trimming cried softly to no one.

0-0-0-0-0

“Just keep following,” Eris said quietly, urging the boy along. “Not much further.”

The midday sun gleamed off of the vigorous shrubberies, the trickling of a stone fountain nearby peacefully filling the air. A nourishing breeze tickled the grass in the garden as swooping birds sang overhead and began littering the sky with their melodies. William numbly followed Eris, his hand never leaving hers as they trailed through the hedges. After a while of silent walking the pair was met by a cast iron archway leading into the garden’s square, assorted topiary and statuettes adorning the entire area beneath the shade of a miniature forest.

William could understand the princess’s love for the place. Quiet, calm and secluded, it was like the little orchard was completely isolated from the rest of the world. Only the sound of peaceful nature bridged the gap between them, like time itself had all but stood still just for her.

“Ah. There you are.”

If William was surprised by Princess Celestia’s appearance before the statue laden garden, he did not express it.

“You haven’t moved much,” Eris said in a much less discreet tone as they approached, her paw shifting defensively to William’s shoulder.

“I’m patient. Come,” Celestia turned to the both of them, her gaze unwavering. “Take a closer walk with me.”

William felt himself guided by Eris’s touch, the serene chirrup of a pair of bluebirds dancing above whistled by.

“Your train shall arrive in approximately three hours,” Celestia explained, alabaster wings tucked in loosely at her sides as they advanced toward one of the many statues. This one stood as a silent companion to a miserable looking droopy rose bush, and cast a short stubby shadow. William looked to Eris for an answer.

“We’re leaving,” she said simply, grip on his shoulder tightening slightly.

“In lieu of… current events,” the princess halted before the statue, gazing up at it without difficulty despite the midday sun shining in her eyes. “I believe that it would be best should the two of you return to a more hospitable environment.”

“All payments dissolved,” Eris added quietly. “We don’t owe a single buck.”

William’s empty stare slowly swiveled toward the princess, who tilted her head to look at him. Trimming’s words echoed in the back of his mind, but he was hardly bothered by them.

“Silence,” he stated smoothly. “Don’t feed me that line. This isn’t about us, it isn’t about some bogus lesson to teach. This is about protecting your image, plain and simple.”

Celestia did not stiffen at his words. She didn’t even blink. Instead, she turned her small smile toward one of her statues, which she began to carelessly inspect with one hoof.

“Er, Will…” Eris began.

“How much is it worth?” William asked without pausing, crossing his arms over his chest. “How much is silence really worth to you, hmm?”

“If I didn’t know any better, young mister Klaskovsky,” Celestia started with a tiny, miniscule sliver of danger in her voice. “I might assume that you were attempting to blackmail me. And I take the safety and security of my citizens and subjects very, very seriously.”

Eris was slowly growing more and more uncomfortable, nervously flicking her eyes back and forth between the quiet princess and the boy, but her hand never left his shoulder.

“Blackmail?” he responded unobtrusively, examining his fingernails. “No, Princess. Of course not. I’m simply making a small request. In lieu of current events.”

“Uh, bud, this-this might not be the time…” the draconequus started, but her voice withered and failed.

For the first time, William saw Celestia’s lips purse as she turned to face him once more. Eris grew decidedly uneasy, her tail coiling worriedly around one of her own legs. But Celestia seemingly didn’t even see her, her entire focus devoted solely to the expressionless boy before her.

“I want a catalogue.”

“Of?” the princess inquired, her face as blank as his own.

“There is a restricted section in the library. I know for a fact that there are books on unrevised Equestrian history in there, as well as a myriad of magical anomaly research.”

“You want my personal collection of books?” Celestia asked slowly, unable to resist raising a single eyebrow.

“I want access,” he replied instantly, his gaze unwavering. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

“… A library card,” Eris’s grip tightened a little on his shoulder, her voice full of disbelief and tinged with anger. “Of all things, a library card. No… bits, no political advances, no… nothing. A library card.”

“That shouldn’t prove too difficult for one such as yourself, I should hope,” William nodded curtly, standing at attention.

“I shall… take your request into account,” Celestia said at last, and Eris’s dumbfounded grip loosened a little.

The heavy tramping of hooves alerted them, and the snowy princess eyed the oncomer without a hint of surprise.

“Tia,” Princess Luna seethed quietly, her eyes narrowed to venomous slits and her breathing heavy. “A word, if you please.”

“Something the matter, Lu?” Celestia asked pertly, but her voice was low and sharp.

“Sister, we talked about- now, kindly?” Luna’s exasperation showed through, and for once, William saw another side of her that he did not expect. The bedraggled mane from lack of sleep, the dejected and upset tone in her voice that belied one too many arguments lost – in short, Luna looked absolutely nothing like her usual regal, impossibly unreachable self.

She just looked… tired.

It was deeply distressing to William, although he could not place exactly why.

“Don’t bother,” Eris said quietly as Celestia turned to her. “We’ll be gone shortly anyway. No need to stick around.”

Celestia followed her sister toward the exit without another word. The moment they were both gone, Eris slumped miserably at the base of the statue, her back to the granite figure. William simply stood and watched the place where the princesses had once been, his mind feeling strangely dull. Eris blew out a long, arduous breath through her fingers, running her mismatched hands down her face in silence.

“… FUCK!” she screamed suddenly, kicking at nothing and startling a group of nearby birds. Her face contorted into a number of uncomfortable looking expressions seemingly all at once, fury being one of the most prominent. Eris’s left eyebrow twitched violently before she hissed hatefully through her nostrils, jamming her arms together over her stomach and glowering at her knees as she drew them up.

William sat on the stone step beneath the statue next to her, hands clasped noiselessly in his lap. He didn’t budge an inch, didn’t say a single word as she scowled bitterly at her own tail tip, which she twirled in one of her hands at last. The silence reigned for a long while, neither of them speaking.

“You know,” Eris muttered at last in an attempt to break the awful, unnatural stillness of the garden. “I tried getting her to give me my powers back.”

William didn’t speak, instead staring unblinkingly at the spot of ground beneath his feet. An ant crawled over the dust, skittering this way and that.

“She didn’t,” Eris continued coldly, readjusting her arms as she held herself. “Fucking ‘course not. God, I shouldn’t have even went to her first. I should have mangled that sonuvabitch and confessed, at least it wouldn’t be… well. I mean, just… fuck, man. Just... man. Fuck.”

William noted her odd refusal to look at the statue that they sat beneath, and it took him a moment to realize precisely why they had been brought to the garden in the first place. A stone sank into the bottom of his stomach, and the sudden urge to retch rose again as he took a closer look at the stone sentry.

It wasn’t a perfect replica of a stunned stallion. It wasn’t even a replica.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

Holy balls, was this a rough couple of chapters.

As for the previous chapter's title, it's from a quote 'Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.' The chapter was originally twice as long before I decided to split it into sections, partially because it was quite a bit for one chapter. That, and it just seemed like a bit much to drop all at once. The next chapter will definitely be longer, and hopefully much more satisfying as more and more pieces fall into place. I've been writing and rewriting the scenes with Fluttershy and Dash, but none of them seemed to fit in naturally with this chapter at all. I think it's best to leave it as it is for now, even if it is a bit shorter than I'm used to publishing.

You Can't Pick Family

0-0-0-0-0

“Are you sure?”

Fluttershy blinked in a combination of shock and modesty, and had to ask her once again.

“I’m positive,” Rainbow Dash nodded quietly across from her, trailing her hoof across the grain in the table. The half empty wine glass before her shone in the afternoon light streaming through the open window, making the indigo liquid seem surrealistically glossy. “I wouldn’t ask anypony else.”

“I-I mean, it’s just completely out of left field…” Fluttershy tapped her hooves together nervously, shifting in her seat.

“If you don’t want-”

“I do!” Fluttershy nodded her head abashedly. “I-I’m honored, Rainbow Dash, I really am. I just really wasn’t expecting it is all.”

“Thank you,” Dash breathed a sigh of relief with a small smile, which Fluttershy mirrored. “From the bottom of my heart, thank you, Fluttershy. I trust you more than most anypony.”

“I’m humbled to be a godmother,” she bowed her head a little, her own glass almost completely untouched.

“It’s just… if the worst comes to pass…” Rainbow Dash began quietly.

“And I’m sure it won’t,” Fluttershy reassured her with a smile, patting her hoof gently. “It’ll all be okay, you’ll see, Rainbow Dash.”

“… Thanks, Flutters.”

Dash took a long, weary draught from her glass and swallowed audibly. She let out another sigh as she reached the end of the whorl, searching instead for the next.

“I still don’t think she has the right to pass judgment without meeting somepony first,” she blurted all of a sudden, angrily refilling her glass.

“Oh, um, I think Doctor White really only gave suggestions…” Fluttershy ruffled her wings, taking another careful sip as Rainbow Dash began working on her fourth glass. “I mean, separation anxiety is perfectly natural in a lot of colts and fillies.”

“She doesn’t know my colt like I do,” Dash frowned, glaring into the murky depths of her drink.

“I think this is really all just because she mentioned foster care.”

Rainbow Dash didn’t want to admit it, and certainly loathed the very idea of agreeing. She emptied her glass with a steady movement, refusing to allow the idea that maybe she was right to cross her mind.

But Fluttershy wasn’t trying to lord it over her, she wasn’t rudely interjecting her own opinions or even trying to make her feel bad. Fluttershy wasn’t trying to make her feel like a failure, even though her heart stung like she was. She was just being honest, and Dash felt a small surge of guilt again. She peeled her eyes away from the table and blinked wearily at her friend.

“Yeah… maybe.”

“Dash…” Fluttershy began uneasily. She struggled to find proper words as the pegasus stared at her. Without warning, Fluttershy slammed down the entire glass of wine in one go, careful not to drop it. She breathed heavily, her cheeks pink and ruddy.

“… Heh, careful of th’ aftertaste,” Dash warned her with a chuckle.

“That’s n-ooh, wow,” Fluttershy blinked after a moment, shaking her head rapidly. “Haa, wow. You weren’t kidding.”

“Told you,” she sniggered, not mentioning that she had done exactly the same on a previous occasion.

“Rainbow Dash, this is probably a really bad time for either of us to be, you know… drinking.”

“I was saving it for Pinkie Pie’s birthday,” Dash admitted miserably, a hoof finding its way to her temple as she stared back down at the table.

“That isn’t for another four months,” Fluttershy blinked.

Rainbow Dash grinned.

“Yeah, but it took me forever to actually find any bottles of Crystal Malt, and it seemed like a shame to hold on to ‘em for that long.”

“I guess…” she shook her head slowly, brushing a lock of pink mane from her face. Rainbow Dash watched her tuck it neatly behind her ear, smiling.

“And ‘sides,” Dash dizzily topped off Fluttershy’s glass as well as her own. “Celebrations are a great time for a drink ‘tween friends.”

Fluttershy snorted, embarrassed immediately afterwards by her own noise.

“I didn’t really think there was any cause for celebration,” she shook her head again, surprised by her friend’s unexpected good mood.

“Aw, ‘course there is,” she waved her off flippantly with another grin. “Lemme see… we’ve got an empty house, two best pals with some tension, some-some really potent schmoozy-boozy…”

Rainbow Dash glared at the bottle for a moment, thinking.

“… How aged is this, anyway…” she muttered to herself. “Eh, never mind. Point is, ‘s always good to celebrate somethin’. Life’s too short not to enjoy it, y’know?”

Fluttershy nodded, sipping patiently at her glass. The taste was still pungent and oddly sharp, but not overpowering. She simply assumed that it was an acquired taste.

“I can agree with that, I suppose,” Fluttershy nodded quietly.

Rainbow Dash leaned across the table, her hoof tentatively touching Fluttershy’s as their eyes met.

“You know… we could always… blame it on the alcohol.”

Fluttershy’s already pink cheeks skyrocketed to an alarmingly red blush, and Dash started to pull away in discomfort when Fluttershy’s other hoof settled atop hers.

“… We probably could,” Fluttershy whispered at last, an unexpectedly sly smile peeking through.

“Are you serious?” Rainbow Dash asked with an even tone, but her heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she swore that the pegasus could hear it.

“M-maybe…” she answered bashfully. “I-I mean, this… this sort of, um, thing. It’s kind of… big.”

Rainbow Dash’s heart slammed in her ears, and she fought to keep herself under control. She knew when a hook was being dangled in front of her, what she was concerned about was how to bite down. She could see the glow in Fluttershy’s eyes, the nervous way that she chewed her lower lip in anticipation. It was like she was begging her, silently pleading, and Dash was only too willing to comply.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Dash turned her hoof over in Fluttershy’s, gripping one loosely. “Anything serious, I mean.”

“I’ve-I’ve always sort of, um… waited for that special somepony…” Fluttershy said softly, letting Rainbow Dash cup her hooves in her own from across the table.

“I don’t have to be that somepony,” Rainbow Dash replied eagerly, unwilling to let her slip away after being teased. “Like I said, nothin’ special.”

“I-I suppose…” Fluttershy started, but her words were cut off as Rainbow Dash leaned across the table bodily and kissed her. Fluttershy froze as Dash’s lips met her own, heat nearly radiating off of her. Much to Dash’s pleasure, Fluttershy ever so tentatively leaned into it and returned the favor. Her face was bright and flushed, and her wings were clamped tightly at her sides. Dash finally released her from the oral embrace, and Fluttershy took a sharp breath.

“… Flutters, I’m sorry to say, but I think I just knocked over the bottle.”

Fluttershy stifled a giggle, embarrassedly looking into her amber eyes as her head was turned upward.

“We’ll have to make sure to clean up the mess…” Fluttershy breathed shakily, her wingtips trembling as hard as her hooves.

“You wanna make a mess…?” Rainbow Dash kissed her again, more heatedly. She drew deeply from her lips, crawling a little across the creaking table to meet her. Fluttershy’s inexperienced hoof wound up to the back of her neck, quivering against her mane. As much as it burned, as much as she itched, as much as Rainbow Dash wanted and needed to feel her, to explore her and feel her warmth against herself, she still froze as Pinkie’s words haunted her. As if she were betraying her by her actions. Like even though she was only trying to help herself, it was still wrong.

But she wasn’t with Pinkie Pie anymore, so she shouldn’t feel guilty… right?
This is wrong. This is wrong, this is wrong. She trusts you, this is wrong, this is so wrong please don't do this, please I'm begging this doesn't have to happen, it doesn't matter how bad you want it just hold it off a little longer. Just a little longer, please, this is so wrong-

“… We-we could, um… stop. I mean, if you want to,” Fluttershy said when she noticed her stillness.

“No. Let’s make this feel so good that we don’t regret it. Whaddya say?” she kissed her again, wings stiffly rubbing against her and reminding her of just how sensitive they grew when untended.

“… O-okay. Okay. Let’s-let’s do it.”

“There’s a good girl.”

0-0-0-0-0

The train station in the center of Canterlot was a fair sight to behold.

Billowing gusts of steam rose through the station with a hint of urgency about them, carried on a calm wind. Glistering bronze plaques of assorted ponies dedicated to the station were littered across the halls, and the hustle and bustle of busy folk as the whistle of trains tore through the air brought a powerful sense of nostalgia to William. It was gone within another moment though, and he sat in silence across from Eris as those outside their small personal compartment busied themselves with normal life.

Looking at them all out the window made William feel strangely sick all of a sudden, and he returned his gaze to the quaintly decorated cabin as the remaining passengers began boarding. Thick velvet covered the plushy seats, the small satin curtains thrown wide and adorning both windows ruffled a little in the breeze. The draconequus wrinkled her nose absentmindedly at the scent of oily smoke drifting on one of the gusts, legs tucked beneath her as her tail swished lazily across the wooden floor. Her ears were flat against her head, and she was curiously intent on staring a hole in William’s rucksack.

Having long since abandoned his uniform, William was redressed in his usual attire of a simple black shirt and pants, hands clasped neatly in his lap as he stared at the floor.

The seat that Eris sat in seemed oddly forlorn and empty the longer that she sat in it, no matter how she tried to make herself comfortable. She wound up attempting to sprawl over backwards, then leaning over the edge, then lying on her stomach before returning to an upright sitting position.

There were no words shared between them, but it was anything but quiet. The monotonous clanking and whistling of the train as departure finally transpired was all that could be heard. Grinding metal screeched as the steel behemoth finally began inching forward at a snail’s pace, and Eris eventually grew tired of the noise and attempted to block it out by closing the windows. It did very little to help, of course, as she swiftly discovered with a frown.

“Not gonna… not gonna talk at all, huh?” Eris asked quietly as she resumed her awkward position, legs tucked beneath herself across from him. “I mean, you’re not – well, uh… I guess what I mean is that I don’t like it when it’s so quiet.”

William said nothing, not even meeting her gaze.

“Normally I wouldn’t have to worry about this kind of thing,” she added, despite the fact that William was seemingly ignoring her. “Just a snap of my talons and poof, no more problems. I miss doing that, it’s driving me nuts not having that after I just started getting used to it.”

The flicker of understanding on his features implied a question.

“Oh. Eh, yeah, I didn’t always have ‘em,” Eris shrugged. “Chaos-y powers like that, I mean. I used to be pretty normal.”

William blinked.

“Shut up, I’m still totally normal.”

Silence overtook the cabin once more as they slowly progressed in speed. Shadows rippling across the ground at equal speeds to the train flittered noiselessly over the ground, and William felt sympathetic toward them for a moment. It was never really a shadow’s choice to go anywhere – they could do nothing but follow, carried along like a water lily caught in a current.

“My mom used to take me fishing.”

Eris’s admission was an unexpected one, and she had finally assumed a position somewhat similar to William’s. However, instead of sitting stiffly like a board were placed against her back, Eris was slumped over and clasping her hands together loosely. She focused on something far away beneath the slightly jittery floorboards, losing herself in memory.

“Mom liked to get out and do stuff. Always wanted to keep her hands busy. Guess that’s why she got that piano. We had this boat,” Eris continued after another stretch of silence. “Mom used to call it her personal yacht, but it was really just this god awful little rinky dink rowboat with the word ‘yacht’ on the side in big yellow letters. Do you know that she misspelled ‘yacht’? Mom was never good at stuff like that, it always bugged me though. I used to love going out to sea with her, just off the coast.

“Sometimes, we wouldn’t even fish at all, we would just sit out in the middle of nowhere and yammer our mouths off. Probably scared away all the fish, now that I think about it,” she chuckled weakly. “I never… never really could get the hang of it, Mom said it’s because I was too impatient. That’s not really it, though. I just didn’t want to kill any fish. They were too pretty.”

Eris spread her hands apart to display the size, grinning.

“I swear,” she shook her hands a little. “These-these motherfuckers, some of these things were huge, biggest fish I’ve ever seen. Every color of the rainbow, too – when the sun shined just right on the water, it was like the whole ocean was putting on an underwater light show. It was amazing.”

Her smile slowly faded away as she clinched her hands together again, her mismatched fingers drumming over her own knuckles.

“I… lost… my mother,” Eris said after a while, a shadow looming over the cabin as the train blared beneath an overpass. “I don’t remember how. I just know that I asked Dad to make sure that I never remembered it, because whatever I did to my Mom I did to everybody else, too.”

William stole a glance at her at last, but she wasn’t looking at him anymore. Eris’s head was bowed, her hands over her ears like she could shut out the sound of her own words.

“He’s not even my real dad, he’s- Discord, to me, is just some guy. At first, I mean. It’s so weird that nobody ever even questions it. Nobody bothers, nobody asks. Nobody notices that I’m adopted too.”

If William was surprised, he didn’t show it. Instead, Eris barreled into a fueled rant that left her hands shaking as they resumed their clamped position in her lap.

“He just showed up one day. After – after I did something. He said that I wasn’t like anybody else, he told me that I was special. And then…”

She expanded her fingers and made a small booming noise.

“Then he showed me what it’s all like. I mean, like, everything. There is so much out there, Will. When you really take a step back, it’s just amazing how everything seems really-really… small, I guess. I never really thought of it that way before. I don’t even know when I started calling him Dad, I guess it just sort of happened after a few years. I never knew my real dad, he – well, you know the type. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am, I guess he’s dead now, too.

“I still remember walking through this one city afterwards, I don’t even know where. I just remember wanting to keep that memory. Dragging myself along, listening to the wind between the buildings. The feeling of ash running through my fingers, looking out over the ocean. I don’t know why it was so important to me, but I didn’t want to forget it. Kind of ironic, in a way.”

Eris twiddled her thumbs awkwardly as the sun vanished from view once again, the beginning of the tunnel’s mouth engulfing them. They were soon completely cast in shadows, her eyes glinting strangely in the darkness. Her voice became quieter, but William could still hear despite the echoing rumble.

“He didn’t really talk about you much. Not for a long while, a little bit before he left me here. ‘Best of all possible worlds’, apparently. I-I promised that I’d look out for you when he asked me, though. I was a single kid, and… I’ve never really had any other family, you know? So I really thought I could live up to my promise, ‘cept I never actually bothered to put in the effort. I-”

Eris paused as they reemerged into warm sunlight, the flare of light shining off the windows. William noted that she had been furiously rubbing her eyes in the dark, but now she had once again taken to holding her hands in her lap as he was.

“… Please say something. You haven’t talked in forever, bro. I hate just talking to myself,” Eris pleaded quietly, struggling to speak. Still he would not look at her, still he refused to see anything but the floor. “If you talk to yourself for too long you start to go crazy, take it from me. I hate talking to myself. Please, Will. Say something. Anything.”

“… William.”

Eris blinked.

“My name is William. William Zachariah Klaskovsky. Not Billy. Not Will. Not Bill. Not bro. Not Willie. My name is William.”

There was a strange tone in his voice that Eris had never heard before, at least not from him. He finally met her gaze, and when she did a small sliver of discomfort shuddered up her spine. She couldn’t quite say why, but there was just something… wrong with his eyes.

“… Okay,” she said at last, shrugging as she looked away. “William.”

“Thank you, Eris.”

“Tumulto.”

He stared at her in mild confusion.

“My name is Eris. Eris Concord Tumulto,” Eris replied in a low tone. “After my grandmother.”

“It’s a very nice name.”

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

Eris slowly twirled a solitary talon through her white hair, gaze returning to the floor.

“… I’m sorry.”

When he did not respond, Eris pressed on.

“For everything,” she wrung her tail bitterly. “God – if it hadn’t been for me, none of this would have ever even happened. We could have been at home right now, being bored and eating cotton candy and watching reruns of Spaceballs. I’m sorry for everything, William. I’m sorry for screwing up everyone’s lives.”

“I don’t think you ruined anyone’s lives,” William said quietly.

“I did. I didn’t keep my promise to Dad, I didn’t protect you like I said I would.”

William frowned, meeting her dejected stare.

“It’s fine,” his brows furrowed.

“No it isn’t,” Eris ran a forefinger over her paw distractedly.

“It is,” he insisted, frown deepening. “It’s fine, I shouldn’t have overreacted. I had a moment of weakness is all.”

She balked at him, dumbfounded for the second time that day.

“Ov- what? No, it’s not overreacting! How is it weakness to ask for help?”

“I didn’t need to,” William said instantly. “I had the situation under control.”

“Oh, my ass!” Eris scowled.

“I said it’s fine,” he returned his stare to the floor. “I’m used to it.”

The realization was quick to set in. He knew right away that he had said the wrong thing from the mortified expression on her face.

“No!” she yelped, eyes nearly bulging out of her head. “I – god no, jeez! That just makes it even worse, oh my god!”

“Please stop shouting, Miss Tumulto. I said it’s fine. We just have to go home, like you said, remember? So long as I can go home. I just have to get home, and then everything will be fine.”

Her hands clenched and unclenched for several long moments before she reached out for him across the aisle. William flinched instinctively, and Eris pulled away as she tried to hide a remorsefully hurt expression.

“… It’s not fine. It’s not fine, it’s not okay,” Eris seethed softly. Her voice was scratchy and her eyes stung and watered.

“Everything’s going to be okay.” She cringed inwardly at the obviously plastic smile that he wore, his eyes still oddly emotionless. Eris almost snorted at the irony that for some strange reason, he was the one trying to comfort her. “Everything will be fine. We just have to go home.”

“Home,” Eris cleared her throat miserably, drying her eyes quickly on her elbow. “Yeah. Home. I want to go home, too.”

“… You can call me Will if you really want to. I suppose,” his voice was dull and monotonous, and he was barely heard over the clanking of the train. “It doesn’t really matter anymore. Maybe it never did.”

They sat in silence for a while longer. Eris grew to dread that awful silence weighing heavily on her ears. Although it did not occur immediately, a sort of wordless understanding was forged between them then. Another tunnel carried their silence into open air, and by the time they emerged from the next tunnel William discovered that at some point in the dark Eris had sidled noiselessly into the seat next to him.

“… Eris.”

“Yeah, Will.”

“Do you know when father is returning?”

“No. I don’t know.”

“Eris.”

“Yeah, Will.”

“Do… you believe in God?”

“… I think I used to.”

“Me too.”

Fingers interlocking, he silently held her hand the entire way home.

0-0-0-0-0

“I feel kinda crummy,” Eris admitted as they walked down the empty streets of Ponyville, a lamplight flickering as they passed beneath it. “I mean, I didn’t say bye to anybody or… jack.”

William’s small suitcase seemed to grow heavier with each passing step, but he said nothing of it. The deafening cries of cicadas were a familiar sound. He dug at his ear in irritation.

Familiarity did not necessarily equal coziness, however.

With the train station slowly drifting away behind them as the odd pair trundled along the dimly lit sidewalks, the cool night breeze lingered over them and gently urged them onward with a brush of its ephemeral fingers. Many more stars seemed to have cropped up the further away from Canterlot they grew, until the sky was spoiled with shining lights that still held no candle to the shining crescent moon. Eris gave a quiet sigh through her nostrils, absentmindedly kicking a small stone into the street as they trudged deeper into the village.

“… We are going in the right direction, right?”

“Yes, Eris,” William sighed, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I know exactly where my home is. I live there.”

“When did you turn into such a smartass?” Eris snorted, grinning down at him.

“When are you going to stop asking stupid questions?” he retorted in irritation, leading her down a left turn and crossing the road.

“Stupid is as stupid does, as my mama used to say,” she drawled in an obnoxious accent, leaning heavily on his shoulder.

“You still fail to recognize that I take no delight in your personal brand of humor, Eris,” William frowned, but made no effort to move from beneath her weight as they walked.

“You still need to lighten up!” Eris said with far too much enthusiasm for that early in the morning. “Smile, brighten the day a bit!”

“You still need to realize that people need sleep,” he scowled even harder as a light flickered on in the house that they passed.

“You still need to figure out how ‘humor’ works.”

“You still need to lose some weight.”

“I am not fat!” she jabbed him in the ribs, making him jump. However, she did finally pry herself from his shoulder, cracking her back as she stood. “God, that hurts. I hurt in places I didn’t even know I had. Weird stuff just keeps happening to my body. Seriously, I think I might be getting a tumor or something.”

“Why?”

“There’s this weird lump on my chest…”

“That would be puberty,” William deadpanned.

Eris stopped midstride, too stunned to do anything more than stare at the back of his head as he walked away.

“… Oh my god,” she giggled as she caught up to him. “You just made a joke!”

“What?” he frowned again.

“There is hope!” Eris cheered, giving an enthusiastic little kick and punch to the air. “Huzzah!”

“Will you whack jobs keep it down?” came a voice from nearly half a block away, and William decided that it was a good time to take a detour before Eris brought the entirety of Ponyville down on them.

“Almost home,” William said as a familiar cliché picket fence came into view at last. “Almost home, almost home. Almost home, almost home.”

He repeated his mantra with uncharacteristic zeal, his strides quick and feverish as they approached the darkened abode. William wasted no time in pushing open the slightly creaky white painted gate, cherishing the sight of Pinkie Pie’s frankly hideous pea green polka dotted curtains hanging in the window of the small house. No lamplight was outside, and Eris was almost out of breath as he smiled up at the place.

“… I remember it being bigger,” Eris said after a moment. “Also, orange with giant five-legged goldfish.”

“Home,” William breathed a relieved sigh of contentment, the smile on his lips unwavering.

“Uh… gonna bang on the door or something?” Eris blinked as William continued to simply stand there. After a few more seconds he shook his head, peeling back the welcome mat that he stood on.

“No need,” he explained. “Mother always keeps a key, there’s- huh.”

The sound of his confusion as he furrowed his brows was followed by a tiny but slowly growing sense of dread.

“What?” Eris pried, but her question was soon answered as the door swung silently inward.

“… The door was unlocked,” he said quietly.

“Clearly,” Eris threw out her hands toward the door. William’s frown deepened as he replaced the key, dusting his hands and taking his suitcase inside before creeping over the floor. The sound of light snoring reached his ears, and he followed it without pause to the living room.

Rainbow Dash was sprawled over the couch with one leg dangling off the edge, several multicolored bottles of cider strewn across the floor. One was perched precariously between her shoulder blades, wobbling dangerously whenever she breathed. However, it never fell, despite the fact that it looked one deep breath away from clattering to the floor.

William held a single finger up to his lips, halting Eris in her tracks.

“What?”

“Quiet. I don’t want to wake Mother.”

“Seriously?” Eris balked. “Wake the bitch up, I’d say he-”

Her words mysteriously died in her throat from the downright wicked look that William shot her, like hell itself had silently begun to burn behind his eyes. She made a slow zipping motion over her mouth, struggling not to trip over the number of empty bottles. She saw William looking down at the dozing pegasus with a mixture of anguish and worry, but it was gone the next moment. William only snagged the bottle between two fingers and left without another word.

He returned a short while later with a small blue blanket, which he carefully laid over her up to her neck before placing a cautious tiny peck on her cheek.

“… Guess I’m just gonna stand here with my thumb up my ass,” Eris shrugged as he walked away again, his mind clearly elsewhere.

William trailed like a ghost down the hall to his mother’s bedroom, peeling open the door quietly. Moonlight was streaming in through the window, and he could just make out the shape of a pink mane that he was well acquainted with. William smiled wearily as he approached, placing a single hand on her shoulder-

Fluttershy shifted uneasily in her sleep, reaching out for something in the bed that wasn’t there. William started, resisting the urge to rub his eyes to make sure that he wasn’t seeing things. But the sleeping mare remained, despite the furiously denying scream in his head that claimed he was dreaming. A strange sensation of wooziness overcame William then, and the downright terrifying and bizarre urge to hit Fluttershy shrieked through his veins.

She moaned softly in her sleep, and William realized that he still wasn’t moving. Partially because of the ice flooding his veins, and partially because a small part of him was still stupidly insisting that at any moment Pinkie Pie would burst up with her usual heartwarming eagerness. Her gleaming smile, her wide, innocent eyes, the sound of a laugh just at the tip of her tongue.

And instead what he got was Fluttershy.

His fists clenched and unclenched again and again.

In the end, he simply walked away.

The words Eris was whispering to him all bounced off of his ears. He didn’t hear her as he prepared a mat for her, and seemingly did not hear when Eris pointed out that he had no blanket. It was as if he were experiencing his own mind shutting down as he stared up at his bedroom ceiling, which seemed horribly unfamiliar for reasons that he could not ascertain.

He stared until Eris’s stream of words eventually transformed into snores.

With a small black book tucked beneath his arm, William continued staring a hole in the ceiling until the sun rose.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

Getting up every day and going through this again and again is hard.
~ Charles Manson

Calm Before The Storm

0-0-0-0-0

William assumed that he must have dozed off at some point or another, because one moment he was staring at the ceiling and the next he was glowering at the wall with a familiar weighty tail draped over his side. He just laid there for a while, his mind strangely fuzzy as he stared at the wall.

He gave a quiet sigh after a while, kicking Eris.

She snorted and fell out of his bed, muttering angrily to herself for a few seconds. Then, the snoring resumed. William sighed again, wordlessly dragging himself from his bed and staring blearily out the window as the morning sun poked angrily at his eyes. A quiet stumble to the bathroom found him brushing his teeth in a dull, empty manner. William didn’t really care for the look of himself in the mirror. Like it was still difficult to look himself in the eyes.

He hadn’t even changed his clothes, and although he did not like wearing the same thing for so long it did not particularly bother him as much as usual. The dullness seemed to have made itself quite at home in his mind. He scratched an itch on his leg with his foot, balancing for a moment before tiredly washing his face and forcing his lead filled legs toward the kitchen.

Rainbow Dash had not moved from her position from the night previously, and he smiled a little when he saw her ear twitch in her sleep as he passed. The smile faded soon afterward though as he exhaustedly towed a carton of eggs toward the kitchen stove and started preparing breakfast.

Soon the scent of cooking oil began to fill the air with a pleasant scent, and William blearily began cracking eggs against the countertop as the same small smile returned. Rainbow Dash would surely appreciate the breakfast, considering that she did not have to cook. And besides, she was certainly not as good at it as pretty much anyone else, and William was content with doing it himself. He hummed a tuneless song to himself as the sizzle of another egg greeted him warmly. That was one, two – no, he had to account for Eris of course, and Rainbow Dash preferred three eggs with toast, not to forget that Pinkie –

The egg William was currently holding suddenly imploded with a sickening crack! and left rivets of golden liquid trickling down his wrist. His hand was trembling mysteriously, and his breathing was heavy as he stared at the damage. Shattered eggshell fell to the floor noisily, but he only managed to stare right past it.

That was right.

Pinkie was gone.

Because Fluttershy had taken her place.

He didn’t have much more time to allow the dark thoughts to fester, as he was promptly slammed in the side by something large, giggling and blue.

“Oh my Celestia, Will!” Rainbow Dash squealed, squeezing him so tightly that he thought that one of his ribs would break. Her confusion was as blatant as her glee, her grin wide.“You’re home, why are you…?”

“Early!” he choked out between a mouthful of feathers as he failed to pry himself from her embrace. “Sent back early!”

It took him a moment to realize that her shoulders were trembling, and she smelled strongly of alcohol but her voice was relatively even between the barrage of kisses.

“Great, this is great!” Dash nuzzled him closer, letting out a contented sigh. “Oh, baby, I missed you so much, I swear I am never letting you out of my sight again, never never never I missed you I – missed – you!”

“Ah whiff ooh phoo, muffer,” William responded as well as he could with his face full of Rainbow Dash’s chest. She was all smiles and kisses, practically radiating joy. He did nothing to resist the affectionate assault, something warm welling up in his chest as he beamed back at her.

Until she noticed the bruises, at which point she promptly froze like she were dipped in ice.

“… Oh, ohh n- Will. William,” she gently touched a spot to the side of the bruise on his cheek. Her hoof was trembling, although from leftover feelings of enthusiasm or rage he wasn’t sure.

“… Yes, Mother.”

“What happened…?” Dash asked quietly as his weak smile faded away, brows furrowing in concern as she touched another bruise on his neck. Her hoof followed down until it was resting on his shoulder, and his face slipped into an expressionless mask.

“… I fell down some stairs.”

“You-you fell… down some stairs.”

“Yes. I fell down some stairs.”

Rainbow Dash inspected him closely for a long, painfully silent minute. She glared a hole in each bruise she found, wordlessly contemplating. However, William was still as a statue and said nothing as well. After what seemed like forever, she finally pulled him in for another hug.

“… My poor little colt,” she said in a hushed tone ripe with pity. “You must have been hurting like crazy…”

“Yes. It was rather… painful. But everything is going to be fine now.”

“Tha~t’s okay,” she nuzzled him again, softly. “My poor colt. Mommy’s here now.”

He instinctively flinched when her lips touched the bruise, but she barely brushed over it.

“Don’t worry. Mom’ll kiss it and make it all-all better…” she kissed him again, holding him close with her wings. “Celestia. I-I missed you, Will. It’s been so lonely without you.”

“I’m glad I’m home,” he replied quietly, his focus somewhere on the floor. She tilted his head up and smiled, giving him another kiss on the lips before squeezing him loosely.

“… You tried making breakfast for me,” Rainbow Dash said distractedly when she saw his hand, which was still dripping with the remains of the poor egg. She slanted his hand upward to examine it, the golden goo beginning to feel sticky.

“The keyword being ‘tried’.”

Rainbow Dash giggled, and he smiled at the sound. It had been too long since he’d heard it.

“Gotta clean up this mess,” she said slowly, turning his hand over in her hoof. “Aww. Such a… such a waste…”

Rainbow Dash’s hot tongue somehow found its way to his fingertip, trailing ever so slowly down his knuckle as she suckled it. The warmth trickling over was carefully lapped up little by little. A muffled sigh slipped through the further she grew, the more attention she gave. She released a little shiver at the taste, her wings stiffly jutting out as she carefully licked some off of his index finger. Quietly panting as her cheeks burned, Dash followed her tongue-

“… Mother.”

“Right!” she jerked away suddenly, flushed as she wiped her lips with the crook of her elbow and laughed awkwardly. Her hoof hit the floor with a loud clop! as she took a step back, a sorrowful, pained expression on her face. “Right, uh, t-towel, need to – burning!” Dash yelped, yanking the smoking eggs from the stove in panic. She scrabbled for the handle with both hooves, eyes wide as she tried to keep from dropping any of the crackling ruined eggs.

“What’s all the ruckus?” a sleepy Eris stuck her head in the doorway suddenly.

Several things happened at once.

Firstly, Rainbow Dash failed to recognize Eris immediately and panicked. She also dropped the smoking pan in surprise and shock, her heartbeat louder than a set of drums in her ears. Next, Dash found herself heading toward the floor at a high speed, having slipped on the egg in the floor.

Finally, she was rather stunned by the sudden lack of not being hit by the hot pan, until she realized why.

It was because William had caught it.

With his bare hands.

The bloodcurdling scream that followed almost broke the windows.

0-0-0-0-0

“Carefully, carefully…” Fluttershy murmured as she wrapped another line of gauze around William’s palm, the thick bandages doing nothing to relieve the stinging. “Just a little more, want to make sure the burn cream doesn’t smear too much.”

She spoke in a tone hardly above a whisper, and it was clear as she kneeled before him that the pegasus was refraining from clutching her head. Fluttershy cringed every time he made a noise or moved too much on the sofa, and Rainbow Dash sheepishly helped her to tie off the dressings.

“Why did you have to try an’ catch it?” Eris asked in a befuddled voice through a mouthful of slightly burned eggs. She lingered momentarily over the fussy pegasi (or rather, one fussy pegasus and another straining not to collapse) before shrugging and returning to her breakfast.

“Hoo, I can’t stand the smell of burn cream,” Fluttershy said distractedly, her voice hardly above a whisper. “Oh, I wish I had some aloe vera on me, it works wonders-”

William flinched when she pressed down too hard, and Fluttershy cringed.

“Sorry, sorry…!” she whispered when Rainbow Dash shot her a dirty look. Her voice was as shaky as her hooves, but she didn’t stop. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I’m trying, I really am-”

“… Hey,” Dash tapped her gently on the shoulder. “I got it from here, thanks for helping Flutters.”

Fluttershy sighed with a mix of relief and tired gratitude, thankfully nodding once to her before slinking away, her hoof clamped tightly to her aching head.

William sat in silence as the sound of Eris busying herself in the kitchen almost overwhelmed the sharp noise Dash made through her teeth every time he cringed.

“… Mother,” William said after a while as she finished tying off the bandages.

“Yeah, Squirt?” she smiled, finishing off the knot carefully.

“… What happened while I was gone?”

Rainbow Dash’s smile faltered.

“Why is she here?” William hissed angrily. “Why is she here, where did Pinkie go?”

Dash’s eyes darkened for a moment, and she looked away.

“Pinks – me and Pinkie…” she started with some difficulty, sidling onto the seat next to him. “Look. Squirt. I’m gonna level with you here,” Dash continued softly, hoof gently touching his upturned white bandaged hand. “Me and Pinks have been kind of on a rocky road for a while, and-and, well…”

“And now she’s gone,” he stated flatly, his voice emptying of expression. “But… but she’ll come back, right?”

Rainbow Dash didn’t answer. Although the sun was fairly bright for such a morning, the familiar rumble of thunder sounded far away.

“… Right?”

“I don’t know if she’s coming back, kiddo,” Rainbow Dash pulled away and looked at her hooves. The gleam of several bottles lying on the floor in the morning sunlight made a sick feeling lurch in her belly. “It’s complicated.”

“But-but,” William repeatedly tried to absentmindedly pull at his fingers, the stinging pain stopping him. “But, she – I mean, we’re family. You and I are family, and Pinkie Pie is family. She didn’t just stop being family, she-she, this isn’t – she has to come back!”

His voice had been steadily growing more unstable as he spoke, something strange in his eyes as he looked at her.

Rainbow Dash quietly hugged him again, wrapping one wing around his shoulders.

“It’ll be alright, Squirt. Just gotta hang in there.”

His protests were cut off, and he eventually succumbed to the silence. He sat wordlessly with his hands in his lap, staring at the floor.

He didn’t want to just go along with it.

He wanted Pinkie Pie back.

He wanted his family back.

0-0-0-0-0

“You sure you’re going to be okay by yourself today?” Rainbow Dash asked for the umpteenth time, fretting endlessly over him. Fluttershy had long since sheepishly slipped out, appreciatively taking the ice pack with her and clutching it tightly to her pounding head.

“Yes, Mother,” he answered quietly, trying hard not to eye the pictures lining the hall lest his mind wander back to where it really wanted to go. “I shall be fine.”

“And you,” Dash turned to Eris and furrowed her brows. “Don’t let him out of your sight, got it?”

Eris saluted with her tail and a grin, clicking her heels together for good measure.

“Sir, yes sir!” she barked. “Engaging in super constant mega surveillance mode, pronto!” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes at the display, fighting off a wry smile.

“I’ll be as fast as I can, and then we can do some catching up when I get back, okay?” She resumed talking quietly to William, giving him another kiss on the forehead for good measure.

“Do you have an estimated time of arrival?” William asked emotionlessly.

“Well…” she scrunched up her face in thought, standing up straight. “I’ve gotta run some errands. We need more eggs, too, so I’ll grab the groceries while I’m there. Then I’ve gotta go bribe AJ into helping me, and maybe her brother since applebucking season’s over. And then after all that, I’ve got to go take care of those friggin’ storm clouds piling up; loads of ‘em keep sneaking out from the Everfree, it’s starting to make everypony nervous.”

“Help?” Eris blinked, looking a little offended as Dash made for the door. “Dude, I don’t need help babysitting.”

“I do not require a babysitter,” William retorted angrily, but went unnoticed.

“Well, uh…” Dash said a little awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. “We were actually supposed to have started with the add-on to the house already. I kind of… kept putting it off. You guys really weren’t supposed to be back yet.”

“Wait, the what now?”

“So that you can have a room,” Rainbow Dash deadpanned in Eris’s direction, who seemed more stunned than anything. “Granted, it’s probably gonna take some work-”

“Why are you building an entire new room?” she pried suspiciously, and Dash sighed in exasperation as she was prevented from leaving once again.

“Because I’m not just gonna throw you out in the street,” Rainbow Dash said huffily, her cheeks a little flushed. “Just behave for ten seconds, I’ll be right back. Okay?”

“Tch,” Eris threw up a talon as she sauntered off. “Yeah, fine.”

“… I’ll keep a close eye on her for you,” William stated dutifully.

She gave a thankful nod to him before lifting off, gone in a blur and a rustle of wind.

And then it was horribly, horribly quiet again, and William sorely wished that he had gone with her.

Instead, he wordlessly closed the door and slowly stumbled toward his room. His heart was heavy but his mind was busy gaining speed as he contemplated. At least, until something occurred to him at his bedroom door.

He couldn’t open the Book of Dreams.

He couldn’t write.

“PARSNIPS!” William screamed angrily, and almost fell over when his door was yanked open.

“Oh, hey,” Eris blinked down at him through the crack in the door. “What’cha doin’?”

“This is my room, what do you think I’m doing?” he scowled, crossing his arms loosely in order to avoid hurting his hands again.

“Yikes, somebody sounds someone’s a little cranky,” Eris winked at him playfully as she pried open the door. “Didn’t get enough sleep?”

“That’s another thing,” William frowned as he pushed past her and immediately began struggling with his belongings with his elbows. “I would appreciate it if you would stop climbing into my bed. It’s annoying.”

“… Are you seriously trying to pick up a book with your elbows?” Eris stared, dumbfounded.

“I have a lot to do today, yes,” he said matter of factly as he dropped the black book once again. “I have numerous letters that need to be written, I have very important studies that I need to catch up on, and most importantly, I need to tend to my garden.”

“And… you’re gonna do all that with your elbows?” Eris leaned against the doorframe with a smug look.

“I shall manage,” William seethed.

“Uh huh,” she blinked, clearly unconvinced as he dropped the book again and gritted his teeth. “Tell you what, when you get tired of hurting yourself, just let me know, okay?”

He wanted to fume at her for inexplicably trying to be helpful. He wanted to throw things at her and yell at the top of his lungs, he wanted to tell her to get out and stop ruining his life.

Instead, William bit his tongue and swallowed his pride, no matter how hard it was to choke down.

“… Wait,” he muttered as she started walking away.

“Whuzzat?” she stuck her head back in through the doorway, cocking an eyebrow. “Oh, don’t mind little old me, I wouldn’t want to interrupt you when you’re so busy.”

“I –” he started, blowing out a vicious whistle through his teeth. “Eris, stop. I’m sorry, okay? Just-just help me with this. Please?” he added a little hopefully.

“Eh, I dunno…” Eris checked a nonexistent watch on her wrist. “I’m really busy too, what with all the TV I have to not catch up on-”

“Dammit Eris!”

“Alright, alright!” she giggled, holding up her hands. “Chill out already.”

She launched herself onto his bed with a fwump! and grinned, holding her chin in her hands. Her tail quickly made its way around and whipped slowly back and forth.

“So…” Eris smirked, twirling her tail around and tickling him under the chin playfully and delighting in his utterly unamused expression. “What can I do for you today, hmm, cutie pie? How can your awesome big sister be even more awesome than usual?”

“Quit doing that, firstly,” William swiped distractedly at her tail, and promptly let out a high pitched whine from trying to use his hand.

“What’s first on today’s list?” she grinned eagerly, leaning forward a little more and resting her chin on her interlocked fingers. “Garden crap in the hot sun? Need me to turn pages for you? Or…!”

Eris snapped her talons out of habit, sitting up a bit straighter.

“Or, what do you say we actually go outside for once and have some fun?”

“No, no, and also no,” William said with a frown, and looked away from her awkwardly. His face was oddly flushed, and it was clear that he was trying hard not to stick his hands in his pockets as he shifted back and forth.

“Well, then what did you want my help with?” Eris blinked with a small frown as well, tilting her head. “Seriously, I don’t wanna hang around here all day and do nothing, that’s boring.”

“I-I sort of, er… need help with… with something else,” his face was steadily growing pinker, and one of his legs was jittering.

“… ‘kay. Spit it out already.”

William balked at her for a full moment in trepidation before looking down.

“I have to go.”

“Go where?”

“I have to go.”

Eris opened her mouth to reply before snapping it shut.

“… Oh. Ohhhhh.”

If William expected Eris to show a hint of discomfort or uneasiness, he was sorely disappointed. Eris grinned widely and sniggered.

“It’s not funny!” he stamped his foot against the floor, his ears burning ferociously.

“Of course not!” she held up her hands again, stifling her rampant giggles “Totally serious, super serious!”

“Oh, never mind!” William stomped off in humiliation, and Eris was quick to follow.

“Alright, okay,” Eris fought off her snickering. “It’s cool, dude. I’ll help you out.”

William lurched away quickly, struggling to get the bathroom door with only his foot.

“Just forget it,” he answered heatedly, trying not to look at her. “I’ll figure it out, just-just never mind.”

She watched him skirmish at the doorknob with his elbows for a moment, furiously straining as hard as he could to look like he wasn’t having difficulty. Her grin slowly faded, and a twinge of guilt hit her for continuing to watch him struggle. It stopped being funny after a while and just made her feel a little sad.

Eris heaved a sigh and opened the door for him, letting it swing inward. She followed him in resignedly, the sound of the door latching behind them sounding earsplittingly loud in the emptiness of the house.

“… Huh,” Eris mused aloud. “You know, I just realized something. I don’t think any of the doors in this house have any locks. That’s kind of weird.”

“Eris,” William began dangerously. “I don’t want anyone knowing that I n-needed your… help.”

“Yeah, sure-”

“I mean it, Eris!” he steamed, having difficulty keeping eye contact. “I really mean it. You can’t – this doesn’t leave this room. Have I made myself perfectly clear?”

“Crystal,” she said promptly, making a circle with her thumb and forefinger as an ‘OK’ signal.

“Let’s just get this over with. And… er, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Believe me, I won’t.” William fell silent afterwards.

“You know, I’m still pretty mad, Willy.”

“… About?”

“You knew my ears were pretty sensitive, and you went ahead and messed with ‘em anyway even though I asked you not to.”

“… Oh.”

“Guess the tables have kind of turned here.”

“That they have,” he admitted quietly.

“… If I were the vengeful sort, you would probably be regretting that right about now.”

“Lucky that isn’t the case, I suppose.”

“I never said I wasn’t the vengeful sort, Willy.”

0-0-0-0-0

Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

I hope the room is finished soon.

Eris snores something terrible, and listening to that god awful noise is enough to make me want to gouge out my own eardrums. Tomorrow will bring more distractions, but the sooner that ~~cackling floozy~~ she is out of my hair the better. Speaking of hair, I shall have to wait a little longer to find proper dye. I dislike the color, and Eris constantly feigns ignorance. I'm also beginning to wonder if she has been stealing my things when I'm not looking. I was positive that I left a pair of new calipers with my star charts, but they were gone when I looked for them. If I find that she took them... but perhaps I'm being paranoid.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep hating her. Lord knows that I'm trying. Half of the time she is an unbearable nuisance, and the other half it almost seems like she possesses the genuine capacity for empathy. She keeps giving me strange looks whenever I stare at her too long, I should take care of that. I honestly can’t help but to stare sometimes, she’s just so strange. Fascinating, in a way. Eris is most certainly a conundrum, and this unsettles me. ~~I shouldn't want to know her. She makes me feel things that I can't identify.~~

I am lucky that I managed to write with my mouth, although it takes an eternity to ensure somewhat decent penmanship. It is difficult, but I am nothing if not determined. The stinging is unbearable, but the continual application of burn cream has somewhat alleviated the issue. I only hope that this heals as swiftly as possible so that I can continue my magical education in secret. And then…

One step at a time.

Princess Luna has informed me through her Book of Dreams. I talk with her every chance I get, although that is a little difficult now. It seems that I can begin accessing magic, but problems have arisen. I require a form of catalyst, a precious type of crystal that cannot be found in many regions. I will have to research this further.

I don’t know what to say about Miss Pinkie.

I miss her. I want her to come back, just as much as I would Mother should she vanish. I don’t understand why Fluttershy of all people would try taking her place, and although Mother tried explaining to me that it was all for the best, I have my doubts.

I think that yellow demon is up to something.

She must have gotten rid of Pinkie Pie, somehow. She’s the one that was here, in her spot, it isn’t right. It isn’t fair. She did this, I just know it.

She took my mother from me.

And god help her, I vow I shall get even.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

You know what they call me in the ancient legends of the Dalek homeworld? The Oncoming Storm. You might have removed all your emotions, but I reckon right down deep in your DNA, there's one little spark left. And that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face me? ~ Doctor Who

Thirteen Candles

0-0-0-0-0

The clink of silverware was all that penetrated the air.

One set loose and untimed that ground against the other, the other robotically and curtly meeting the plate in perfect timing.

It was that offbeat imperfection that was steadily infuriating Trimming, but the captain of the guard didn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. If anything, he seemed surprised that she was continuously glaring a hole in him. The flickering candlelight danced across the little room, illuminating all but the furthest of corners.

“… You gonna finish that?” Silver Spear eyed a healthy sprig of garnished broccoli on her plate.

“I don’t know why I even bother,” she scowled, neatly laying her knife and fork beside her plate and rubbing her temples. “One would think that I would learn eventually.”

“Nah, it’s cool!” Spear grinned, magically catapulting the vegetable from her nearly full plate to his empty one. “It’s because I’m irresistible. And mares dig a guy in uniform, you know.”

“Smartass.”

“Tight ass.”

He smirked at her, tilting his smug grin a little as he popped the remaining dinner into his mouth in one swift motion. Trimming shook her head and sighed, but he noticed the almost imperceptible twitch at the corner of her lip. She returned to the vacant gaze that she had been giving the table nearly the entire night, one hoof drawing something invisible on a napkin.

“… Silver.”

“Why, yes,” he stroked his chin with a sly wink. “I do agree that we need dessert.”

“Shut your mouth and listen for once in your life,” Trimming deadpanned, but the captain was seemingly unaffected. “I need to ask you something.”

“Oh. Serious then,” he furrowed his brows and dropped the playful demeanor instantly, leaning forward and perking up his ears.

“Do you think that I’m evil?”

Silver Spear blinked, confused.

“Where did that come from?” he tilted his head again, this time with a frown. When she didn’t respond, Silver shrugged. “Just caught me off guard is all. You’ve never sounded self-conscious like that or anything.”

“Answer the question.”

He smiled quietly and shook his head.

“Evil? Pfft,” Silver rolled his eyes. “Despite what some of your little maids might say – and I’m not saying which ones, don’t give me that look again – nopony thinks you’re evil, Trim. Maybe just a little high strung, too much stress in your job. Probably,” he added.

Trimming stared a hole through him, glowering at something in the distance.

“… Yes. Stress.”

She looked away from him then, wordlessly folding her napkin and dropping it onto her plate.

“Off so soon?” Silver rose with her, but she gave him a hard look.

“I have something that needs to be attended to. Something that I’ve been meaning to do for a long, long time,” Trimming explained quietly without looking at him. She continued along and didn’t look back as she raised a single hoof. “And make sure we get new maids.”

“Me?” he blinked again and pointed to himself, which he realized too late did no good considering that she wasn’t even looking at him. “Why’s that…?”

“Just do it, you simpering- just do it for me. I want to take care of the rest of my business first.”

And with that, she was gone.

The door closed roughly behind her and blew out the candles, leaving the thoroughly baffled unicorn sitting alone in the dark.

Surely firing another of her maids hadn’t upset her that much…

But then again, Trimming was a mare that took much care in what she did.

And sometimes stress made ponies do some very strange things indeed.

0-0-0-0-0

William took great pride in his garden.

When he first took to caring for the small plot of fenced in land behind their home, it was thoroughly unimpressive. Only a few bare scrubs of grass remained, everything but a single stump cleared out to make room for the house’s foundations. In the beginning, it was an empty, forlorn little place.

But as time passed and William began collecting different plants and seeds out of his curiosity of Equestrian vegetation, the bare plot of land gradually began morphing into a home on its own. It took more than time, though; it required patience, care and a tender touch. He found himself strangely attached to his little flowery children, and was proud to watch them grow. A bed of curiously star shaped tulips would wind up along the fence eventually, circling around into a cradle of barely blooming roses. Those in turn would gracefully caress the stump in the center of the patch of dirt, with dandelions and sunflowers and even a tiny peach tree growing up betwixt the roots. All in all, it was a place of calm, of solitude and isolation that, from the overlapping wall of thistles along the fence, almost seemed completely cut off from the outside world.

Or at least, it used to be.

William stared in abject horror at the remnants of his beloved garden, his bandaged hands shaking.

The daisies were wilted and pale. Sunflowers drooped their sleepy heads all the way to the ground, begging to return to the silence of the earth as the last of their warmth seeped out of their green bones. The roses had grown flaccid and lifeless, a sickly brown and grey bulging beneath their necks like an infection. Even the already dead stump seemed a little more deceased.

“This place looks like shit,” Eris stated bluntly.

“Oh god,” William’s knees felt like they were going to buckle. He clawed and kicked viciously at his own mind, screaming to wake up from a nightmare that wasn’t happening. “Oh god, oh my god my poor babies!

He sank to his knees and tenderly cupped a dangling tulip in his quivering hands, the color completely drained from the dead plant. William’s breathing seemed to fight for control with his heart, neither of which were working properly.

“Dude, you’re gonna hyperventilate,” the draconequus crouched beside him, peering uninterestedly at the dead flora. “Calm down, they’re just plants.”

“Just plants?” William screeched in anguish, trembling hands stinging as he pulled them away from the bulbs he had planted seemingly an eternity ago. “Just plants?! Eris, I loved this garden!”

“I-”

“Dead!” he seethed, kicking furiously at a patch of dirt and watching it fly. “Dead, dead, dead! All that work, all of that effort – for nothing! My garden is – it’s, it’s ruined! It’s all ruined!”

Eris started to reach out for him but pulled back at the last moment, clenching her paw up awkwardly.

“Willie,” she frowned, rubbing her sore lower back as she stood. “Chill, little man. We can replant ‘em, you know.”

“That’s isn’t –!” William jabbed a wrapped finger at her angrily, the paused and furrowed his brows deeply. “What do you mean, ‘we’?”

“As in me and you,” Eris deadpanned, crossing her arms as the sound of something heavy hitting the floor met her ears. “I know how to plant crap, I’m not incompetent.”

“And who says that I want your help?” he tried to ball up his fists and failed, turning instead to stand on his tiptoes to glower at her. The height difference was almost nonexistent, but it didn’t wipe the vicious glare from his face. “If it weren’t for you, my garden wouldn’t even look like this!”

“What?” she balked. “How is it my fault?!”

“I don’t remember, it just is!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

Another loud clatter interrupted them, and William realized just how close to each other they had become as the shouting intensified. His cheeks were burning brightly and he settled away in quiet fury, turning his slightly watery gaze to his deceased shrubbery.

“… Sorry,” he muttered eventually as the silence became too much to bear. “I… know it’s not your fault. Forgive my outburst.”

“Whatever,” Eris shrugged nonchalantly, looking off elsewhere as well. “People get angry. It happens.”

“It doesn’t excuse my childish behavior,” he retorted with a sniff, carefully adjusting his clothing so as not to hurt his hands and standing a little straighter.

“You are a c-”

“Don’t you dare.”

His demeanor was one of burning rage, but he didn’t move a single inch.

“I am not a child,” William stated matter of factly through clenched teeth. “Don’t presume to treat me like one.”

Eris stared at him for a few seconds, arms still crossed tightly over her chest.

“… You know, you’re kind of weird for someone your age.”

“You don’t even know how old I am, do you?” he asked in a bitter half jeer as he started back toward the noisy house.

“I don’t even know how old I am,” Eris retorted sullenly, trudging beside him. “Thanks for rubbing it in.”

William said no more as they reentered into the cool shade, but his anger seemed to have long since dissipated from her words.

The smell of sawdust permeating the air mingled with that of baking pastries, and William crinkled his nose. Apple Bloom poked her head out of the hallway to glance at the pair before returning to the jabbering mares.

“-nd I done told you, it ain’t going to work like that,” Applejack frowned, pointing out a spot on the blueprints to the agitated pegasus.

“It’ll be fine, we’d just have to add another hall… here? Here.”

“Yeah, by breaking down the wall!” she rolled her eyes. “Unless y’all feel like sharing one room for a while, and I kind of doubt that, we’ll have to pull out the studs on this end here, then just add this here extension so’s we ain’t gotta loop ‘round. See?”

Rainbow Dash finally gave in with a sigh, wings clamped tightly to her sides.

“That’s going to take even longer, though…” she rubbed her chin, watching Apple Bloom out of the corner of her eye as the filly dragged another bucket of nails to the sawhorse.

“I’m sorry ‘bout Big Mac, I mean it,” Applejack said a little sheepishly. “He pulled his back real bad with the plow again, he’s not gonna be doing much o’ anything this week.”

“He’s doing a lot of eating,” Apple Bloom said with a snarky grin, but went unheard.

“So… two days?” Rainbow Dash said hopefully, the rattle of familiar tin leaking from the kitchen where William and Eris had returned to.

“I’m thinking at least four,” Applejack said distractedly, much to her friend’s dismay. “I tried getting Rarity to help, but wouldn’t you know it she got some kind of ‘special hooficure’ where she can’t go touching nothin’. And if we’re gonna get the insulation in right it’ll take time, and I’ve still gotta cut more lumber since Sawdust is crankin’ up price again. I’m telling you, I think he’s going crazy.”

Another loud clash came from the kitchen, and Dash sighed.

“William, don’t burn yourself again,” she shouted absentmindedly, rolling up the blueprints.

“Hey,” Eris breathily poked her head into William’s open bedroom, clamping one frosting coated talon over the doorframe for support. “Me and Willie are gonna split to the park for a while, ‘kay?”

“No, not okay,” the farm pony frowned up at her. “Ain’t you supposed to be helping?”

“I second that!” Apple Bloom added tiredly and leaned on the sawhorse, but again she was ignored.

“Well, Willie can’t really do much…” Eris started slowly, turning hopefully to Rainbow Dash. “And he’s really upset about his garden, and he could definitely use a responsible adoptive older sibling to look out for him at the park…”

Rainbow Dash sighed heavily through her nostrils.

“… I guess.”

“Oh, come on!” Apple Bloom threw up her hooves.

“Sweet,” Eris grinned. “’kay thanks bye!”

Dash watched her whirl on the spot and leave nothing but a flicker of tail behind her as she darted away.

“Didn’t take much,” Applejack noted quietly, but Rainbow Dash shook her head.

“I prefer not having her underhoof is all,” she clarified, but she wouldn’t look at her when she said it.

“Might I add,” Applejack said after a moment with the sound of rumbling thunder picking at her ears. “That I really wouldn’t care to go getting wet when we take out the wall?”

Rainbow Dash frowned, snapping back to reality as she perked up her own ears.

“… ‘the crap?” she tilted her head in mild confusion. “We’re not sched- Everfree again, sonuvab-”

“Biscuits!” Apple Bloom swore as the nail bucket spilled over.

0-0-0-0-0

They walked in moderate silence for a while, boy and draconequus.

The overhanging trees lay shadow after shadow for them to pass beneath. The trail was all but deserted except for a solitary squirrel which was quick to dart away the moment it spotted them. William’s light footfall and Eris’s lazy shuffling were both stifled by the surrounding trees the further they wound into the park, a familiar bench beside a glistening lake calling warmly to them.

“… You gonna tell me?” Eris slumped forward on the bench with her mismatched hands clasped together. She watched him closely as he sat beside her, but his gaze was fixated solely on the water.

“I’m afraid that I don’t know what you’re talking about,” William sat stiffly, one hand carefully resting atop the other. Although it was fairly sunny despite the growing grey clouds and the shade was quite comfortable, the shadows hanging over them seemed oddly… darker to Eris than previously. Like the shade was unnaturally deepened, and she couldn’t place her finger on why. William fingered something in his hand, and she peeked to glance at it.

“… Are you playing with matches?” she asked curiously.

“No,” William dropped the match quickly and hid it beneath his foot.

Eris snorted and leaned back, tail swishing back and forth in frustration.

“You didn’t say anything to your little friend the whole time,” she pointed out. “Before you guys never shut up, and today you don’t even look at… was it Apple Blossom?”

“Apple Bloom,” William corrected her without turning away from the water. “And I’d rather not.”

“You’ll feel better if you te~ll me…” Eris said in a singsong tune, leaning forward again and grasping the bench seat with her talons and tail.

“It’s none of your business.” He scowled sharply and stiffened up even further, which Eris hadn’t even considered possible. “I’ll talk to my ‘friends’ when I want to, just quit picking about it.”

“… It’s because she didn’t write to you, isn’t it?” she guessed, hiding her smirk when his face twitched. “Haa, I knew it.”

“None. Of. Your. Business.”

“Sure it’s not,” Eris grinned, licking a bit of missed frosting from her talon. William cringed in disgust.

“Didn’t you wash your hands?” he edged away from her an inch.

“… Why wouff I wo what?” she balked with her mouth full of fingers, drooling a little.

“That’s disgusting.”

“Takes after her old man, don’t she?” Discord grinned beside him.

William nearly fell off the bench.

“You’re back!” William’s face exploded into a myriad of expressions, joy overriding his fear and surprise.

Then, Discord’s face exploded, primarily with Eris’s damp fist.

“Anytime I call my fucking ass!” she screamed as she pounded thin air where the smirking draconequus had just been, standing shakily atop the bench over a shocked William. “Come back you bastard so I can hit you again!”

William whirled around in panic, desperately searching for Discord – and for a brief moment, the insane notion that he was completely delusion seemed very real, leaving him frozen. But Discord was quick to reappear, reclining lazily in the crooked arm of a tree above and grinning down at them like a Cheshire cat.

“You know,” Discord pulled a large shining red apple from his armpit and took a noisy bite out of it. “You need to work on your ‘hello’ a little bit.”

“You lied to me!” Eris bellowed, fists clamped in raw anger as she stomped over to the tree to shoot daggers up at him. “You told me – you lied, you prick!”

“If you don’t watch your language, you’re grounded, young lady,” Discord grinned even wider, finishing off the apple and spitting out seeds like a machine gun into the air. The next moment he winked and vanished, crawling with an ‘oomph!’ out of the wooden seat next to William and reclining on air beside him.

“How’ve you been, Willie?” Discord gave him a toothy smile. “I see your hands have been busy, is that why you didn’t say ‘hello’ too?”

His words were cut off by a surprisingly powerful hug, and William was grinning from ear to ear.

“You came back!” he said breathlessly, unperturbed by the painful burning sensation in his palms. “You’re back, you’re finally home!”

Discord shifted uncomfortably as Eris leaned over the back of the bench to glower at him, unwilling to punch any more so long as William was clamped on to him.

“Uh, yeah…” the draconequus peeled the boy off carefully, looking awkward. “Just dropping in, staying busy.”

“What?” William’s look became downcast. “But-but, you just came back…! Why do you have to leave?”

Eris looked at William, then she looked at Discord. Then she repeated the process several times.

“… You motherfucker.”

“Grounded,” Discord stated expressionlessly. “I’m telling sun-butt to keep your powers even longer. Have fun with that.”

“You didn’t tell him?” she pulled away with a hint of disgust mingled with her anger. “You seriously – I don’t even – no words. I have no words.”

“Tell me what?” William looked cautiously back and forth between the draconequui, nervously clamping his stinging hands together.

“Not now, Eris…” Discord tried to shake his head subtly, but she only crossed her arms.

“You’re messed up in the head,” Eris spat. “I can’t believe this.”

“It’s not time yet!” he insisted, only serving to confuse William further.

“What isn’t time? What’s going on?” William stared nervously.

Discord heaved a sigh and ran a paw through his messy white goatee.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” he said flatly.

“You’d better,” Eris cracked her knuckles threateningly. “Or I’ll-”

“Do nothing of the sort, because you know what will happen!” Discord interrupted. Eris started to argue, but bit her tongue. After a moment she crossed her arms in indignation and threw herself angrily onto the bench, refusing to look at him any longer.

“You don’t have to tell me,” William bargained desperately. “Honestly, I couldn’t care less, it doesn’t matter. Please just tell me that you’re staying home.”

“Aww, don’t do that…” Discord rubbed the back of his neck and tried to keep his gaze. “I mean, you look like a lost puppy, it’s killing me. I stopped by for a reason.”

Eris’s ears perked up, but she still didn’t look at him.

“There’s no need to panic,” Discord held up his hands, at which point Eris suddenly became very, very anxious. “But in an indeterminate amount of time, we might need to… go away for a while.”

“… I don’t understand,” William blinked, mind working furiously.

“Everything’s going to be fine!” he insisted with a forced smile. “I’ve even got us a nice little villa picked out, it’ll just be me and you and Eris and your mom and everything will be fine.”

“What about Pinkie Pie?” William narrowed his eyes. “Or Miss Sparkle, or anyone else? Why won’t you clarify?”

“Just think of it as a long vacation,” Discord grinned again. “Don’t worry about anyone else, I’ve got everything almost taken care of, just don’t panic.”

The fact that Discord was repeatedly telling William not to worry was steadily making him more and more worried, which was not lost on Discord.

“So, uh…” he clapped his hands together. “I’ve got a few minutes, what have you kids been up to?”

“I hate you,” Eris glared at him over William’s head with enough intensity to melt steel. “Dude, I hate you so much right now.”

Discord subtly snapped his talons, and Eris found herself suddenly buried beneath a wave of slinky toys. William paid it no attention.

“I have some questions that need to be answered,” William said sternly, the sound of Eris’s struggling meeting deaf ears.

“I have some answers that might fit with questions,” he inspected his talons carefully. “Depending on the question, of course.”

“You’re not coming back to stay ever again, are you?”

Discord looked away, his face blank.

“Probably not.”

“And there’s nothing that can ever change your mind?” William’s pleading tone started to return, but he fought it off.

“Same answer.”

William paused, thinking.

“Can you bring back the dead?”

Eris froze up in her pile of animated slinky toys, watching and listening warily.

“Uh… yes and no…” the god of chaos shifted uneasily beneath the boy’s intense stare.

“Explain,” William said curtly.

“Ehh, it’s a really sticky and confusing situation,” Discord shrugged restlessly. “I mean, it can be done, you just shouldn’t.”

“Can anyone bring back the dead?” William pried.

“I really don’t like where this is going,” Discord said firmly. “Eris hasn’t tried it, has she?”

“Screw you!” she let out a muffled shout beneath the pile of multicolored plastic.

“No, no – I’m just very interested…” William tried to seem casual.

“Don’t try it,” he demanded, pointing a talon in his direction and squinting hard. “I mean it, necromancy is not something to play around with. Not while Sunny D. is running the show, anyway, it’ll royally mess up the balance.”

“Of what?” William inquired. “You seem to know a lot about it, have you done it before?”

“Whoa, look at the time!” Discord gawked at a large cuckoo clock that had somehow appeared on his wrist a moment before he tossed it away. “I’ve gotta get back, there’s –”

“One more question?” William grabbed his arm in desperation.

Discord started to deny him, and frowned.

“… Go ahead.”

“Why did you adopt me?”

Discord blinked. William watched carefully as something inside of the draconequus seemed almost to… deflate.

“Uh, huh. Uh. Oh. Okay. Uh, wow,” he ran a paw over his jagged horn, which fell flat with his touch and sprang back up like rubber. “Yikes, that is a really intense line of questioning and I was, uh… not prepared for that.”

“Because Mother said that you did it for revenge,” William pressed on with a strange look in his eyes.

“Wha-? When?”

“After her fourth glass of wine…” he answered quietly. “I remember. She refused to talk about it any after that, but I still remember.”

Eris had seemingly stopped moving altogether, and it was silent in the park except for a single bird’s chirrup.

The cuckoo clock sounded off.

A leaf fell between them, and still he said nothing.

“… You didn’t really adopt me just because of something like-like… that. Right?”

Discord didn’t speak, and William did not let go of his arm.

“… Right? Father? You would never do something like that. Right? Father…? Right?”

One moment, William was standing precariously on the park bench and clutching at the silent draconequus’s arm. The next, he was standing in utter silence and grasping with pained hands at nothing but air. He struggled to make words form, but there seemed to be a mysterious golf ball lodged in his throat. All that he managed to choke out only came in a frail whisper.

“… Dad?”

Neither of them moved for what seemed like an eternity. A sliver of cool wind picked up and ruffled the leaves, the growing storm clouds hanging fatly above and beginning to blot out the light.

“You wanna just… go home?” Eris asked softly after a while, kicking off a stray slinky.

“… No. I don’t want to go home.”

“You sure?”

“Just leave me alone.”

Eris did no such thing. Instead, she sat silently beside him for a while, and they watched a few droplets of rainfall spatter across the lake. Eris sat slumped forward with her tail drooping through an opening in the bench, and William sat stiffly with his hands folded loosely over one another.

A droplet of blood seeped from a sliver in the bandaging, mingling in a pinkish color with the collecting water at his feet.

Eris held her tail up with an arm uselessly over his head like an umbrella as they finally began the long walk home.

0-0-0-0-0

William had never liked swimming.

He hated the cold rush of water, even on a hot day. He despised the feeling of needing to dry as quickly as possible, he disliked deep water even more for the irrational fear that something would slither up from the depths and bite him. But mostly, he hated floating about and doing nothing, carried along by the water.

William felt rather as if he were floating for the rest of the day.

It was as if his ears were full of water that blocked all the words out, and waterlogged his brain. He hardly even noticed when Rainbow Dash came back late, sopping wet and in a foul mood. William was in the same watery fog when he discovered the gaping hole in the wall covered only by a large tan tarp. Nothing changed during dinner or when he stared with a pencil in his smarting hands down at the black book, which waited patiently for him nonetheless.

Nothing changed when Eris began snoring quietly on her mat, giving a single kick in her sleep.

The floating, empty feeling at last was shrugged off as William watched the clock on the wall. He waited until the very last second. The flickering solitary candle on the little pink cupcake was blown out with one silent puff.

Then William carefully placed it on his nightstand, pulled his sheets up to his chin, and quietly cried himself to sleep.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

One flew east, one flew west,
One flew over the cuckoos nest.

And Then There Were Eggs

0-0-0-0-0

I’ve always wondered what she looks like.

What do you think that one looks like?

I just want you to be happy again, Mother.

He could no longer tell if the high pitched whistle was emanating from before him, or if it was the sound of his own screaming. William gazed on in horror at the impending menace, the shadow of the colossal mechanical army looming over him as he gazed back at himself-

I don’t know, Princess. Sometimes I wish that I would dream of flying.

Do you enjoy the thought of flight?

No. I hate it. But it would still be better than this.

The rain was never-ending.

William sleepily contemplated recording his dream to Princess Luna, but almost immediately brushed off the thought. It would only be the same as always, a waste of time. Redundant.

The heavy patter of rain smacking the tan tarp seemed so much louder, and the sudden chill seeping into the room bit at him with sharp teeth. He started to pull the blankets up a little closer to stave off the cold and return to restless sleep once more until proper morning arrived, but stopped.

Eris lay with her back to him, her tail wrapped loosely around one of his bare ankles. He didn’t even have the energy to sigh again, the first one having already drained him. Her back firmly against his, William almost wondered how he had failed to notice in the first place until he finally realized that perhaps it was because he was oddly comfortable.

The thought made him highly uncomfortable.

“What’s your excuse this time, Eris?” William asked quietly, his voice almost silenced by the sound of heavy rain. “Too cold? Too damp? Sleepwalking? Don’t you try to ignore me, I know you aren’t really asleep. You haven’t snored once in the last twenty-three minutes.”

For a while, William thought that she would simply continue feigning sleep. He only listened to her slow breathing. Eventually, Eris whispered back.

“… You looked lonely.”

“Well, I’m not. I don’t want or need anyone.”

“Is that why you haven’t pushed me out yet?”

“Why?” William asked in a bitter, soft voice as the tarp he stared at billowed heavily against the clamps that held it in place. “Why do you feel the need to torment me like this, spawn of chaos?”

Eris didn’t seem to have an answer to that.

William, however, did.

“… Right, sort of answered my own question.”

“I get the feeling we’ve been down this road before,” Eris said suddenly. “Talk about déjà vu.”

“This feels weird.”

“Tell me about it, I know I’ve heard somewhere –”

“You know what I meant,” he corrected her.

“Oh. You mean sharing a bed with your sister.”

“We’re not really related. So it’s fine.”

Eris started to shift away, but found herself unexpectedly stilled by his touch.

“… I thought-”

“You thought wrong. Stay.”

She shuffled awkwardly, but remained behind him nonetheless.

“In hindsight, it is kind of weird…” Eris began quietly until she realized that William had at last turned toward her. He had an odd sort of look to his eyes, like he wasn’t quite focusing. An almost delirious, searching sort of gaze.

“It all depends on your definition of ‘strange’ and how weird anything really is in comparison.”

“Comparison to wh-?” she started, words catching in her throat. Eris’s lower back automatically arched from the sensation of her ear tip between his burned fingers. The coarseness of the bandages rolling her slowly between his fingers made a sharp shiver ripple up her spine, and her tail instinctively tightened around his ankle.

“C-careful…!” Eris breathed fearfully. “Don’t pinch…”

“Like this?” William straddled her chest, free hand grappling her other ear as well and making her cringe. “Oh, I might, Eris. I could pinch as hard as I wanted to right now.”

Although his words were cold, his motions remained the same – slow, gentle rubbing between the fingers of each hand, prudently and leisurely kneading them up and down in synchronization with each other.

“... Stop,” Eris’s command was almost unheard. Her face was deeply flushed, and her breathing was heavy.

“Of course. But only if you say it again. And this time say it like you mean it.”

Eris said nothing.

“That’s what I thought,” he leaned forward a little with a quiet smirk.

Her body trembled weakly beneath him. Sporadic jitters would wrack her body every time his fingers danced near the base of her ears, cautiously sidling all the way back up. Eris bit back a moan and tried to look away. William found his face strangely hot, almost as much as the heat flooding her ears – so much that he could feel it through the bandages, soothing the stinging.

“… This is so wrong,” she breathed at last.

“And why is that?” William whispered into her ear, making her quiver again. “How is it wrong for someone to get what they want? It doesn’t have anything to do with what you say, I can see it in your eyes. It’s only because you’ve lost control of the situation.”

His words sank in after a moment, and he bit her lower lip. For as still as his voice was, he was quivering and trembling just as much as Eris. His injured hands caressed her, and her own wound tightly over his forearms. Another soft moan was stifled as he pulled particularly hard, forcing her attention back to him.

“How does it feel, Eris?” he asked quietly, gradually but roughly forcing down her ears and making her whimper aloud. “How does it feel, being completely powerless? Helpless beneath your assailant, so easily injured?”

“… You won’t hurt me,” Eris answered with frail determination after a moment, large red eyes turning to him.

“What makes you so sure?” William asked, a hint of haughtiness in his tone.

“Because,” she smiled weakly. “You don’t have it in you to hurt someone that trusts you.”

Eris hissed in sudden pain as he clamped down on her ears. Her cry was stifled as one of his hands fastened securely over her mouth, and he glowered down at her with a heated glare. She bucked beneath him, but he stiffened his clasp with his knees to make her still.

“You make me so angry, Eris,” William seethed into her open sore ear. “I can’t stand you, you make me madder than anyone else ever has. Every single day with you makes me want to rip my own eyes out, you make my blood boil!”

Her heavy breathing through her nostrils was just as fast as his own, her eyes widely staring into his sharp almond ones. His angry clench finally slowly, slowly released. Her pained ear sprang up throbbing between his fingers, and William sluggishly pulled his hand away from her mouth and gently cradled her cheek.

“But I’ll give you that much, Eris. Damn you, do you make me feel alive.”

They only stared at each other for a long while, neither of them moving or speaking.

“… That hurt.”

“Then hurt me back. Then we’ll be even,” he insisted.

“Maybe I will.”

“No you won’t,” William felt her tail coil tightly around his ankle again as one of her arms rested on his lower back.

“What makes you say that?” Eris drew him a little closer, a low, dangerous tone in her voice.

“Because you don’t have it in you to hurt someone that trusts you.”

“… You’re a devious little bastard,” she met his coy grin with one of her own.

Again silence fell, the only noise resounding through the room the mysteriously heavy drumbeat of rainfall.

“Eris.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to tell you to do something. And then I want you to obey it.”

“You know, I’m older than –”

William’s hand stiffened around her ear, and she did simultaneously. Eris blinked, a tinge creeping into her cheeks once more.

“Age before beauty, oh sister of mine. Now shut your trap and listen, or I’ll punish you.”

She started to retort simply to antagonize him, but paused.

“… Uh huh. And… what’s that?” she asked quietly.

“Don’t you ever, ever leave me.”

“… I won’t.”

“Do you Pinkie Promise?”

“Pinkie Promise,” Eris’s talon wrapped around his little pinkie finger, matching his tiny, nearly content smile.

“There’s a good girl.”

Then, the wall exploded.

0-0-0-0-0

“Save the books, save the books!” William shrieked as he stumbled past Rainbow Dash, arms loaded down with as many of his precious books as he could carry. Several fell out of his arm, which Dash ignored as she attempted to pin down the tarp again.

“I said hold it!” she demanded, her voice muffled amongst the storm.

“And I’m freakin’ trying!” Eris bellowed back, snapping her talons and struggling to force the tan tarp back over the partially finished flooring connected to William’s room. The enormous gusts of rain and wind blasting them back only served to infuriate Rainbow Dash further, and she heaved with all her might to mash the clamps back in place.

“Will!” Rainbow Dash screamed over the raging gust that nearly ripped the tarp away from them again, her mane matted with rain. “Get something heavy!”

“Like what?” he blinked, looking around the room. There wasn’t much in the house that could hold down the entire tarp – after a split second he darted to his wooden dresser, desperately flailing to shove the heavy furniture over to the gaping opening. Eris was swift to release her end of the tarp that she was supposed to be holding, and Dash’s angry shouts went unheard as the pair strained to heave the clunky thing into place. With effort, they finally managed to hook part of the tarp beneath the dresser and shove it firmly into place and stop the rain from pouring in.

By that point, however, they were all three thoroughly sopping wet.

“… Well,” Eris said after an uncomfortable stretch in which they only stood around admiring the damage. “That happened.”

“We’re going to have to repaint in here,” Rainbow Dash stated wearily, wiping rainwater from William’s brow with one hoof.

“At least we managed to save the books,” he breathed a sigh of relief, to which Eris rolled her eyes.

“And I’m pretty sure everything in your dresser is soaked,” Dash carried on nonetheless, carefully fixing his hair and failingly trying to dry him with one of her wet wings. “It’s all my fault. This is what I get for procrastinating and crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap.”

“Why is it still raining, anyway?” Eris peered through the crack to the broiling storm outside. “I thought that was taken care of?”

“Towels, please,” Rainbow Dash nudged William off. “And we did, for some reason these weird storms keep sneaking out from somewhere in the Everfree.”

“A peculiar weather anomaly,” William hummed to himself as he returned with the towels. Eris promptly took hers and wrapped it skillfully around her head like a turban, opting instead to sit Indian style on William’s bed and grinning like the whole ordeal was hilarious. “How often do freak storms like these occur?”

“Freak storms – thanks,” Dash wiped her face off with a bright blue towel. “Bleh. Storms like these are nothing new, it’s just weird how determined they are. You remember what I told you about Everfree clouds?”

William paused for a moment, wistfully regarding his supply of sopping wet clothes as he attempted to dry himself.

“They move independently, if I recall correctly,” he frowned.

“Right!” Dash beamed proudly, pulling the towel between her wings. “So when a whole lot of them gather together, it tends to create bigass drenchers like this one.”

“So why are they suddenly so consistent?” William furrowed his brows in concentration. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Not a clue,” Rainbow Dash shrugged after she finished drying up as much as she could from the floor and started toward the door. “Last I heard the weather team had Dew Drop on it, and she’s drawing blanks too. All we can do is buck out what we can and ride out the rest.”

They were interrupted by a loudly growling stomach, to which Eris shamelessly raised a single talon.

“Not to interrupt your thrilling chit chat,” the draconequus deadpanned. “I don’t know ‘bout you guys, but I’m starving.”

“Likewise!” Dash said with enthusiasm, ruffling her wings before clapping her hooves together. “And afterwards, I think it’s a great time to go introduce you two to a new… friend of mine, but since it's still pretty early that can wait. So…. who wants some breakfast?”

The two of them turned instantly with eager grins to William, who sighed quietly.

“… I’ll get the eggs.”

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

"Io fei gibetto de le mei case. I made my own home be my gallows."
~ Hannibal Lecter

To Bake A Cake

0-0-0-0-0

“Do you even pay attention?” William asked in exasperation, watching the boy pull his finger out of his nose in equal parts horror and fascination. “Or does everything simply pass you by?”

“I try not to get worried ‘bout stuff,” Ronald shrugged, kicking his feet in boredom as one of the other children barreled past. The boy watched enviously as they tore screaming across the lawn with the rubber ball, but stayed for the sake of his friend.

“Perhaps next time you’ll actually think before attempting something of the sort,” William sniffed haughtily, marking the page in his book. “And your glasses are absolutely coated in grime, why don’t you ever clean those wretched things?”

Although William’s words were cold and apparently indifferent, Ronald knew better. They both knew that he did, though neither would admit it. Behind those thin and dirty glasses burned a fire – an intense spirit, one that he regarded with both fear and quiet respect that bordered strangely on contempt.

Ronald crossed his eyes, simultaneously freezing in place as he did so.

“Mah glasses?” he peered down at his own freckled nose, unscrewing his eyes and continuing his kicking with renewed glee. “Sister Franky said she’s gonna make sure I get some new ones if’n they get real badder then ‘fore.”

“That entire sentence was a grammatical Guantanamo Bay,” William deadpanned. “You should take care of what you have, you putrid tactless ogre.”

“Shows what you know,” Ronald stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry. “And ‘sides, I been eatin’ lots of carrots so now I’m not even gonna need ‘em anymore.”

“Brilliant,” he returned to his book on Indian tribal history with a flat expression. “Truly, your foresight surpasses even that of a clairvoyant.”

“Uh… is that a compliment?”

William quietly closed his book, turning to stare at him. Ronald blinked, confusedly blowing a lock of his dirty hair from behind his glasses.

“… Sure. Why not.”

“Coolio!” Ronald punched him in the arm. William yelped, scowling and rubbing his sore shoulder.

“Will you cut that out already?” his eyes narrowed sharply.

“Aw, I barely tapped ya.”

“You’re nearly three times my size, you gargantuan buffoon.”

Ronald blinked.

“Is that a compliment too?”

“I hate you sometimes,” William sighed quietly.

“But not ALL the time!” Ronald crowed victoriously, standing atop the wooden bench and thrusting his fist heroically into the sky.

“Please sit down,” he was quick to hide behind his book again, noticeably having drawn the looks of the older boys already. “You’re going to get us in trouble, nimrod.”

“Bah, come off it, Willie-dillie-o!”

Ronald hopped off the bench, landing firmly on his feet and jamming his fists hard onto his hips.

“What, you’s thinking I’m too loud again?”

“Just sit down and shut up already. If Sister Clarence doesn’t make us go back inside and ruin our recess, you’re going to get Jeremy angry at us again.”

Ronald only laughed, the sound of which the older boys leaning in the shade of the building paid unsettlingly close attention to.

“So?” he shrugged carelessly, hoping to infect William with some of his energy and failing spectacularly.

“SO, we’re going to get beat up, you blithering ape!”

“Ha ha, let ‘em try!” Ronald slammed his fist into his open palm, and one of the older boys quietly stepped on the cigarette that he was hiding. “Maybe if you’d fight fer once they’d quit being jerks.”

“I don’t fight people, Ronald. That sort of thing is left to unscrupulous rogues such as yourself to absorb the brunt of the assault.”

“That’s jus’ girly talk,” he rolled his eyes. “I can take ‘em! They try to mess with me an’ mah bud, I’ll kick the poop right outta their asses!”

“Yes, thank you for that lovely visual.”

“You’re welcome!”

0-0-0-0-0

Icy water lapped over his scorched palms, the bandages lying in a pile on the edge of the sink. Glinting linoleum seemed a little duller the longer that William stared at his reflection. His bangs had grown long enough to cover his eyebrows, and almond eyes glaring dully back at him. William mindlessly tried to brush back the mess, revealing the furrowed lines on his forehead as he scowled hatefully at his mirror image.

The hair was really the only part left that he needed to take care of, he thought to himself vaguely as he finally shut off the water. It had been difficult and slightly painful to tend to his cracked and unkempt nails and finally return them to their prim and trimmed state as he was used to. Hair neatly in place once more, William soon returned to focusing on emptying his face of expression.

Then, he smiled.

The crinkles on his cheeks seemed horridly unnatural, and he dropped the look immediately. Again he forced a smile, larger this time. It had the same effect as before of seeming plastic and hollow, and he refrained from gripping the cold sink edge in frustration. It wouldn’t do any good getting angry at himself – rage was a shortcut and an excuse to refrain from effort.

William narrowed his eyes coldly and slowed his breathing, calming his heartbeat and continuing his cleanup. Those with even a modicum of intelligence could see through a ruse easily. A proper lie needed an inkling of truth in it to deceive suitably, and his repeated attempts at ‘natural’ were infuriatingly empty. He eventually slipped away from his train of thought and onto another as he quietly busied himself, careful not to slip from the stool he stood on to see into the mirror properly.

He didn’t like the look of his own eyes.

Not from what he could detect, but because of what he couldn’t.

You have your father’s eyes.

William’s frown returned in an instant, his brows fiercely furrowing and carving his face into a hateful scowl. He twitched, forcing himself to return to blankness. Emptiness was a blank slate with which he could work. Again he tried smiling, for the umpteenth time achieving the same failure. It might have been from showing too many teeth.

He allowed his fake grin to shrink, lips tightly pursed into an upturned grimace.

Failure.

Falsifier.

Disgusting.

Freak.

Sicko.

The smile faded slowly, melting into his face. William breathed quietly through his nostrils, shoulders heaving as he stared through himself. Clearly he needed more practice. He was losing his touch; or perhaps he just didn’t have quite the ‘touch’ as he assumed, and was such in need of correcting such an egregious error.

Pinkie Pie had the most natural smile that he had ever seen, even when he knew that she was trying to hide something. There was a little wrinkle near her eyes from how much her cheeks rose that he couldn’t quite match. Maybe it was because she always seemed to have a genuine reason to smile – and if she didn’t, she would always find one.

But thinking about the mare didn’t make him smile.

If anything, it only made him miss her more.

Bastard.

Liar.

Weirdo.

Weakling.

It’s always your fault.

“Uh…” Rainbow Dash blinked, the door having opened a crack in startling silence.

The tube of lipstick clattered noisily into the sink. William’s stomach instantly churned in angry, violent knots. He gaped in outright aghast horror in the mirror at the blankly staring pegasus behind him, a sick invisible punch to his gut nearly making him drop to his knees had he not already been leaning on the sink.

William tried to form words, but found his lips too tightly mashed together to say anything. Blood was rushing from his face so fast that he wondered how the rest of his body would fare. He swiftly turned from a pale color to a rather unexpected tinge of pink, then to an off colored greyish hue in a matter of moments.

“… That’s, uh… nice outfit,” Dash said after a horribly tense eternity of absolute stunned silence. William’s grip on the sink was so tight that his knuckles had begun to turn a pasty shade of white. No matter how hard he tried to return her gaze, he couldn't do anything aside from stare down at the stained mark on the sink where the lipstick had fallen. He wanted to look up – he wanted to force his neck up and look back at her, but somewhere deep down he feared that she would look away from him if he tried. The terror of such a simple reaction seemed completely irrational, but nonetheless heavy enough to drop an invisible weight on his back and keep him from looking.

“… We’re about ready,” he heard her voice, but for as quiet and clear as it was, it seemed distant and strangely watery in his ears. “Should be leaving in a couple of minutes.”

William said nothing.

Rainbow Dash fell quiet as the door closed behind her. The smear on the whiteness slowly became blurrier the longer that he looked at it.

“You look kind of cute like that,” Dash said quietly, giving him a small, slow peck on the cheek.

“… I’ll wear the wet clothes. They’ll dry,” he answered in a throaty whisper, eyes hidden.

“Are you okay?” her hoof sidled onto his shoulder, and again William feared that he would fall. He could hear the concern in her voice, and he knew what kind of look she would be giving him if he looked up – but even if he had the strength to raise his head and face her, he dared not. He couldn’t manage it, he couldn’t look at her. Maybe not ever again, from the way he felt.

“Yes, Mother. I am fine.”

You’re revolting.

Princess, what exactly makes a monster?

You’ve gotta quit talking like that, not everypony sees things the same way.

Put the glasses on for me.

Why did you adopt me?

I don’t know what happened. It was an accident.

For the same reason I do everything – because I love everypony, silly filly!

He felt her hoof under his chin, gently but forcibly turning him up to look at her. Rainbow Dash’s anxious squint slowly faded away when she saw his peacefully upturned lips, her heartbeat slowing.

“Everything is fine,” William explained quietly through his small smile. “May I have another few minutes Mother? I shall be along presently.”

“Sure thing, Squirt,” Dash beamed at last, giving him another relieved kiss on the forehead before slipping out. “Just don’t take too long, slowpoke, or we might leave without ya!”

William smiled pleasantly at her the entire time, his too-forced grin locked into place the entire while. The door finally closed again after what felt like hours had passed, each second seeming to drag on like a year. He kept right on smiling at the spot where she had been, his false enthusiasm thrown at nothing but the wooden door. His face hurt from holding the plastic grin for so long, but he felt no relief from releasing it. He certainly wasn’t smiling when his knees finally buckled and he collapsed in silence to the floor, shaking and quivering like a leaf in the wind.

0-0-0-0-0

“Yeesh,” Eris swung her tail around in one of her hands in a circle, leaning against the wall outside the house. “Took ya long enough.”

“I apologize,” William stated stiffly as he marched in damp clothes directly behind Dash, who rolled her shoulders as she started toward the gate with a colored box in one hoof. “I lost track of time.”

Eris curiously noted that he wasn’t looking at anyone, but didn’t press matters. Instead she watched Rainbow Dash ruffling her wings eagerly, looking with a wide smile into the clear blue sky.

“Finally ready then?” the draconequus shoved off from the wall.

“A~lmost…” Rainbow Dash continued staring up into the sky at something that neither of them could see. After a few awkward moments of befuddled silence, Eris uncrossed her arms and peered around at the patch of sky that Dash did.

“You, uh… trying to go blind or something?” Eris squinted in the sunlight, and William stepped over a puddle behind her to take his place beside them.

“Wait for it.”

When nothing happened, Eris started to ask again but was halted when William held up a single finger.

“Wait for it…” Rainbow Dash grinned, nodding toward the pink mailbox.

“Wait for what?” she threw up her hands in confusion, looking back and forth between them for answers.

“For the mail,” William explained.

Eris balked at them as if they were mad, taking a long time to even blink.

“Are you freaking kid-”

A screaming bolt of grey feathers came hurtling through the sky without a moment’s warning. Blasting over rooftops and knocking a single shingle free, the pegasus burst into the sky with a flare of her wings. A loud clatter came shortly afterwards with a surprised shriek of somepony in the street trying to avoid being hit by it, along with a number of choice words. Turning with a sharp left, the mare bolted toward the ground and skidded twice, finally coming to a screechy halt with a trail of dust whirling behind her.

“Heyya Derpy,” Dash chuckled as the mailmare leaned against the picket fence to catch her breath, showing more teeth than a leering crocodile.

“Hi Dash!” the blonde mare said breathily, digging in her saddlebag after a moment. Brilliant golden wide eyes searched in opposite directions, but she faced Dash easily. “Pretty good landing, huh?”

“Pretty good,” she laughed, shifting the box to her opposite hoof and opening the gate. “You’re a little early today, eh?”

“Yeah, I know!” Derpy eagerly yanked an entire bundle out of her pack without dropping her gaze, not noticing the shocked draconequus in the slightest. “I almost pulled off a cartwheel on Mulberry, but I almost lost everything ‘cause the buckle was undone,” she carefully refastened her saddlebag while holding the whole bundle in her mouth by a single string.

“Dude, what’s wrong with your eyes?”

Derpy froze in place.

It was only then that she seemed to have noticed Eris. The draconequus unabashedly gawked at her only for a few seconds, until she realized the horribly awkward silence that seemed to have fallen over them.

Somewhere a bird chirped.

She wordlessly removed the package from her mouth with her now free hoof and looked away.

“So,” Rainbow Dash coughed loudly into her hoof, William attempting to bury his face in his scorched hands beside her. “Uh… thank you, Derpy – uh, you want some of these?”

Dash carefully pried open the box, careful not to drop it. The pegasus’s eyes lit up immediately upon seeing the cache of frosted cupcakes, offense long forgotten.

“Ooh!” Derpy sniffed the air zealously. “Is that chocolate I smell? And some fudge, and… wine…?”

“Vanilla icing,” William added quietly.

“I helped,” Eris muttered.

“Have the whole box!” Rainbow Dash pushed it to her eagerly, cheeks flushed as she held her breath.

Derpy’s smile almost broke her face.

“Seriously?” she said ecstatically. “The whole thing?”

“Yeah, sure!” Dash nodded swiftly, desperate to get her to forget about the current situation as quickly as possible. “Say, I’ve really gotta run, just gotta slip by real quick-”

“What?” Derpy blinked distractedly, the box of treats snapping shut. “Oh, uh – right, right. Here you go! Eh, was it ‘Billie’?”

And with that, she dropped the entire parcel into William’s hands. However, she failed to realize that he had been studiously inspecting them since he had gotten close enough to read them, and wasn’t nearly as surprised as Rainbow Dash was when she saw them.

“My name is William,” he answered absentmindedly.

“Oh, yeah!” she nodded quickly, beaming. “Hey, Dinky’s finally going to be coming to public school this year, Rainbow Dash! She’s been super excited ever since she started getting better; maybe we can set up a playdate!”

“Ha, yeah, that sounds-sounds… Hang on,” Dash frowned as Derpy started away. “Hang on, I sent some of these…”

“Mm?” the mailmare asked through a mouthful of cupcakes, smeared frosting on the tip of her nose. “Oh, yeff! A fwhoh buff go’ fen too fwoffaw fo’ wehfwhoo!”

Rainbow Dash deadpanned, the spray of flecks wordlessly flicked off.

“Have you tried swallowing?” Eris asked in quiet exasperation, having long since grown bored and leaned wearily against the picket fence.

“Actually,” Dash started with a laugh before clamping her mouth shut and forcibly looking down. She coughed again uneasily and shook her head.

“These are returned,” William stated softly as he read a small card attached to the top, a familiar gilded seal shining in the light. A number of words printed atop it caught her eye, including to be returned, royal order and self-termination. “Oh my god, they’re returned.”

“Nyah, it’s cool Derps,” Rainbow Dash shrugged when Derpy looked worriedly at them, choosing not to voice her true thoughts. She took the package from the stunned boy, jamming the whole thing into the mailbox. William clutched in dumbfounded silence at the air, like he was still holding them. “Really, it was probably nopony’s fault; see you later.”

William felt himself pulled along by the pegasus as he strained weakly for the mailbox, frantically scrabbling at the air.

“Hang on!” he pleaded as they trudged onward, his precious letters drifting steadily away. “M-Mother, wait, those…!”

“Can wait until after we get back,” Dash explained as she released him, shooting Eris a dirty look now that Derpy was out of sight. Eris rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “We’re already late, I’ll bet Fluttershy’s still waiting for us.”

“Who?” Eris asked offhandedly. William threw one last wistful look behind as he gave up, forcing himself to keep up pace with the antsy pegasus.

“Good friend,” Rainbow Dash continued as she led them across the busy street, clearly straining to keep her wings in check and stay on the ground.

“Is she the pink one?”

“That would be Pinkie Pie,” William corrected her quietly, hands folded carefully behind his back as they walked. “Fluttershy has a yellow coat, pink mane and blue eyes. She’s left handed and uses apricot scented shampoo, her favorite color is green and she likes collecting shells but doesn’t like the smell of oysters.”

Both of them stared at William for a long moment, who at first seemed not to notice.

“… What?”

“Nothing,” Rainbow Dash shook her head with a little chuckle. “That’s just, uh… probably more information than she needed.”

Eris snapped her talons, standing up a little straighter.

“Yeah, I know who you’re talking about now!” she said elatedly. “She’s your fuck buddy, right?”

“What?!” Dash turned them both over a corner, laughing too loud for it to be natural. “What, no! Ha ha, no, of course not! That’s ridiculous, ha ha ha ha!”

“Are you sure?” Eris blinked as they were barreled along by the pegasus, who was using her wings as support to keep them moving faster. William seemed to have grown unnaturally quiet, and walked stiffly. “Because I’m pretty sure-”

“Fillyhood friend, very good friend is all!” Rainbow Dash insisted a little more loudly as they approached a tall cream colored building wedged neatly between a couple of thatched houses. Brightly colored stickers adorned the windows, and the plaque next to the door read ‘Ponyville Wellness & Associates’. “That’s crazy talk is all, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions D-Eris,” she finished swiftly, jerkily opening the door and ushering them into the shade.

William unconsciously breathed a sigh of relief upon entering, but it was short lived. He wrinkled his nose viciously, the overpowering scent of antiseptic and sanitizer stinging his nostrils.

The brightly lit entrance room was filled with poorly drawn figures adorning cut sheets of colored paper along every wall. Sunlight streamed heavily into the room, leaving the wall lamps fairly useless. A single desk sat against one wall to the right of the entrance, looking sorely as if it didn’t belong there. A lonely and tarnished bulbous bell sat next to a box of foal’s toys, and a bright eyed mare peered up from her paperwork as they entered. A number of paintings and pictures lined the halls, but Eris paid no attention to them.

“Oh, hey there!” the squinty mare behind the desk greeted them cheerfully. She was quick to hide a book beneath her paperwork, an unused pencil teetering at the edge of one hoof. “Here for the tenner?”

“Uh… yeah,” Rainbow Dash nodded, her thoughts elsewhere. “Sorry if I’m kind of… y’know.”

Eris wordlessly noted her odd embarrassment at lateness, and couldn’t seem to find a clock anywhere.

“Oh, don’t worry about it too much hon,” Turtle Shell said cheerfully. Her gaze lingered for a long time on both William and Eris, whom William was actively avoiding by almost hiding behind Rainbow Dash. “Your friend’s already checked in early; remember which office?”

Rainbow Dash nodded curtly.

“Yep. End of the hall. Can’t miss it. Will, you want to sign for everypony?” she turned to William, who was busy engrossed in each and every painting.

“I will, Mother.”

He was quick to scribble their names down on the pad presented to him by the curious mare staring him down, but still refused to look directly at her.

Sign In

Rainbow Dash

William Zachariah Klaskovsky

Eris ~~Klaskovsky~~

“Why are we here again?” Eris peered at the paintings as they traversed the hall, William swiftly catching up so as not to be left behind.

“A little bit of family therapy,” Rainbow Dash said determinedly, marching forward at a steady pace. Eris grinned widely at the photograph of a very serious stallion dressed like a clown, clicking her talons the entire way. “I have a promise to keep, and I just want to get this over with as quickly as possible. Be on your best behavior Eris, let me do the talking, and with any luck we’ll be in and out of here in ten minutes flat.”

“I’m always on my best behavior,” the draconequus threw out her arms and accidentally smacked a painting off the wall. It fell to the floor with a crack, which she ignored. Dash cringed, steeling herself and taking a deep breath as they stopped before the door at the end of the hall.

“This is going to take no time at all…” Dash reassured herself more than anything as she tenderly leaned over William and parted his hair. “In and out, done.”

“I knew a guy like that once,” Eris said jokingly. No one laughed. Her chuckle died out and she crossed her arms and turned away again.

Rainbow Dash knocked twice on the door and opened it without pausing.

“Surprise, surprise!” Dash grinned at the startled pegasus. Fluttershy beamed back at her, nodding politely to William and Eris.

“There you are!” Fluttershy said with blatant relief. “I almost thought you weren’t going to… um, never mind. Do we have enough room for everypony?”

Eris stretched and started to make herself comfortable in one of the mismatched chairs pointed in a semicircle toward the large mahogany desk against the wall, flanked by a pair of shiny new filing cabinets. William’s eyes flicked about the room, absorbing detail after detail as rapidly as possible.

Countryside images filled several frames along the walls, the wallpaper of which was colored an unpleasantly bright shade of puce. A very tidy and alphabetically organized bookshelf with painted stone sun shaped bookends stood garishly behind the desk. The first two chairs seemed to be sinking into the pink shag carpeting, their high backed plush contrasting with the wooden bucket seat chairs on either side of them.

Although the room was easily lit by natural light through the windows, no wall lamps adorned this room at all. Instead a single low chandelier dangled loosely from the ceiling. An empty ashtray sat forlornly on the edge of the uncluttered desk.

Behind the worn but well-polished mahogany desk sat a milky white mare, whom William seemed to be sluggish to acknowledge but was in reality wordlessly evaluating out of the corner of his eye the entire while. Two toned pink mane fell flawlessly into place, and she might almost have seemed benign were it not for the skull and bones cutie mark nearly hidden on her flank. Her smile was warm and cheery, her attention focused only on them, but William was more than suspicious nonetheless.

Behind those thick horn rimmed glasses burned a fire; an oddly familiar and intense spirit, relentless and powerful, one that he immediately regarded with a measure of fear and respect that bordered strangely on contempt.

“Good morning, everypony!” the unicorn greeted them all warmly, startlingly bright emerald eyes locking on each one of them in turn. She watched none of them for long, but somehow seemed to keep them all in her sight all at once. Her voice was soft and melodious, matching her smile. “Good morning, good morning – oh, don’t be shy now, come on in!”

“You can sit next to me,” Dash’s hoof settled firmly on William’s shoulder, and he was seated quietly between her and Fluttershy with Eris on the far end. The mare magically shut the door behind them, chatting animatedly the entire while as she resumed her position.

“I’ve heard a lot about you two already, it’s a pleasure to meet you young folk!” she said cheerily, readjusting her glasses eagerly. “I know it might seem a little silly, but why doesn’t everypony introduce themselves formerly?”

“Oh my god,” Eris’s jaw slumped as it finally dawned on her. “You brought me to a fucking shrink?”

“Language!” Rainbow Dash hissed dangerously.

“I thought this was, like, a health clinic or something!” she crossed her arms defensively, drawing up her tail and tightening it across her lap.

“Er… I-I’m Fluttershy,” Fluttershy’s weak voice was barely heard above Eris’s foul resentments. Dash shifted awkwardly in her seat.

“Uh, Dashi-Rainbow Dash. That’s two down…” Dash cleared her throat uneasily, one hoof tapping against the carpet.

“My name is William,” he introduced himself without once dropping his gaze from the smiling unicorn. “William Zachariah Klaskovsky.”

“And what about you?” she turned her head slightly toward Eris, kindly awaiting an answer.

“Luke Skywalker,” Eris scowled angrily. “Shove a droid in your exhaust port.”

“That would be Eris,” Rainbow Dash clarified. “Don’t mind her, nopony got much sleep last night.”

“Oh no, did something happen?” Fluttershy frowned worriedly.

“Nah, nothing,” she said quickly. “Some water damage, everything’s fine. Thanks though, Flutters.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” the unicorn smiled even wider, turning in a slow semicircle to them all. “I’m Doctor White, but you can call me-”

“Yolk.”

Doctor White’s smile froze in place as she turned her gaze to William.

“That’s right,” Yolk agreed. “How ironic it is that my reputation precedes me. William.”

For however long it was, it most certainly wasn’t ten minutes.

William sat in utter muteness for nearly the entirety of their little gathering, only listening to the words passed between psychiatrist and pegasus.

“And really,” Fluttershy continued, abashedly brushing a lock of mane from her face as her stare lingered on Dash for just a little too long. Somehow her chair had moved even closer to Dash than William’s was. “That’s just not a good way to be. It took me a long time to realize that, like a lot of things.”

“Now, Fluttershy, what did we talk about?” Doctor White interjected peacefully. “Self-deprecation is unfit for any mare. You’re a fine upstanding citizen, you’ve got your life together, and you’re very nice. If anything, you should be proud of yourself.”

Fluttershy nodded quietly, self-consciously looking at the floor as she tried to hide her watery eyes.

“Um, thank you very much, Yolk.”

“I think you’ve come a very long way,” Yolk smiled again. “And I hope that someday Miss Dash might decide to take a leaf or two out of your book.”

“I said that I don’t have any problems,” Rainbow Dash shot back aggressively.

“Let’s not let our tempers get the best of ourselves,” the unicorn’s smile never dropped, and she absentmindedly rifled through a file on her desk. “Nopony is forcing you into anything Rainbow. Why don’t we move back to…?”

Yolk eyed Eris almost hopefully, who still sat stiff backed in her chair with her arms and legs crossed.

“You couldn’t pay me enough, so don’t even bother.”

Rainbow Dash cringed inwardly, trying not to notice Fluttershy’s expression.

“… I’m really sorry Fluttershy,” she started. “I-I’m not sure that…”

Her words trailed off as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“If everyone doesn’t mind,” Yolk White looked about the room with a little cough, a dim green spark zipping across the tip of her horn. It caught William’s eye, and he watched the curtains over the window widen a little more as a number of thin grey clouds accumulated across the sky. “I think we’ve really covered a lot of distance today Fluttershy, but in my professional opinion I think a little one on one time would be great!”

“I’m out,” Eris scowled. “You can’t make me do jack.”

“Of course!” Yolk clapped her hooves together as if she weren’t slighted at all. “I’m a bit disappointed, to be sure; from what I’ve heard about you so far I think you’re really interesting.”

If Eris took it as a compliment she didn’t acknowledge it. Or do much aside from grumpily glower at Doctor White while finally slumping in her seat, at that.

“… I’m up for it,” Rainbow Dash volunteered unexpectedly, slowly raising her hoof and shooting another look at Eris. “Somepony with a spine has to.”

“Oh, come now!” Doctor White gave a little giggle, covering her mouth with her hoof. “The way some ponies talk it makes old folks like me sound scary.”

“Doctors, you mean,” Eris’s frown deepened.

Fluttershy gladly stretched her wings, motioning for Eris and William.

“We’ll be glad to wait in the lobby for you, Rainbow Dash,” she touched her friend on the back, smiling warmly. William was loathe to leave her side, gently but firmly pulled away from her once again. “I really don’t mind foalsitting for a little while for you.”

“I’m sure we’ll only be a couple of minutes!” Yolk’s eternal smile grew a little wider. He felt the sudden urge to grab onto Rainbow Dash, and fought violently against the reaction as he was guided out by Fluttershy. The door closed loudly behind them, and William stood rooted in place.

“… Sometimes a mare can talk a little easier without anypony else listening,” Fluttershy explained, patting William on the head and looking up at the surly draconequus. The entrance room was found deserted when they left the hall, which William curiously observed aloud.

“Maybe she quit!” Eris shrugged with a bit too much enthusiasm as she flopped into one of the wooden chairs lining the wall.

“No, just early lunch,” Fluttershy corrected her confidently. She took a seat beside her, and William followed Fluttershy to do the same.

They sat in blissful silence for a while. Or at least, William and Fluttershy did. Eris continuously snapped her talons together in boredom, desperately wishing for a magazine at the very least to distract herself.

“… A’ight,” she asked eventually, breaking the silence. “Fluttershy, right?”

“Yes?” the pegasus blinked sleepily. It was clear that her thoughts had been elsewhere, as were William’s, but he listened carefully regardless.

“So, I got a question…” she kicked back and relaxed with her mismatched arms behind her head in an attempt to make herself more comfortable. Her eyes scanned the room for a moment before speaking again. “And now seems like a pretty good time.”

Fluttershy blinked in honest attention.

“Did’ja fuck ‘er?”

“W-what?” Fluttershy’s face immediately flushed, her wings clamping tightly to her sides as her ears flattened in terror. “What k-kind of-of ques-question is t-that? Why…?”

“Blue butt,” Eris asked again in a flat tone. “You nailed her?”

“She said that she wouldn’t tell anypony!” she buried her face in her hooves, shrinking instantly into her chair and trying to hide from both of their stares. William was now thoroughly paying Fluttershy more attention, and there was an odd gleam in his eyes.

“She didn’t,” Eris shrugged with a smirk. “I was just guessing.”

“Oh Celestia. Oh Celestia. Oh Celestia. Oh Celestia. Oh my. Oh Celestia,” Fluttershy murmured miserably into her hooves, her shoulders beginning to shake a little. She didn’t even notice William’s small hand resting on her shoulder.

“So then what’s with… uh, Pinkie?” she thought for a moment. She tapped a talon on her chin, clearly delighting in how uncomfortable the mare was. “Hey, Willie – she’s one of your mom’s fuck buddies too, right?”

“That’s enough, Eris!” William said dangerously. He realized too late that his pincer like grip on Fluttershy’s shoulder was making her flinch, and he pulled away.

“Alright, jeez…” the draconequus shrugged again, throwing a dull look out the window. “Touchy.”

William’s nostrils flared, and his hands sorely clenched and unclenched at empty air as Fluttershy tried to force herself to stop blushing so furiously.

“Mother’s decision to engage in coitus with multiple partners is her own volition. It’s really none of your business who Mother chooses to partake in such activities with. Eris.”

“You’re really defensive when it comes to her, anybody ever tell you that?” Eris smugly asked across from Fluttershy.

“She needs me to be!” William shot back heatedly, Fluttershy steadily growing more uncomfortable between them. “Mother is fragile, she needs me to help her!”

“That’s a freakin’ load!” her voice grew a little louder to match his, her eyes narrowing sharply. “Parents are supposed to take care of their genital-accidents, not the other way around!”

“Mother is special!” William spat furiously, standing in his seat even though it hardly made a difference. “She’s an exception, Mother is different!”

“The word you’re looking for is –”

“Don’t you call her crazy!” he demanded, stamping a foot. “Don’t you dare!”

“Don’t tell me what to do, midget!” Eris stood as well, growing even louder.

“I am not a midget!”

“You’re short, you’re a midget by default!”

“Will you just listen to me?!”

“Maybe if you quit yelling at me!”

“I am not yelling!”

“You’ve got big lungs for someone your size!”

“I command respect and dignity!”

“You command attention!”

“I do not!”

“Do too!”

“DO NOT!”

“DO TOO!”

“Um,” Fluttershy shakily raised a single hoof between the arguing pair. “Can I-”

“NO!” they both shouted simultaneously.

“Okay, sorry,” she miserably shrank almost silently back down inside herself.

“Did I miss something?”

They all three froze at the sound of the confused receptionist’s voice, small brown paper bag in one hoof as she reentered the building.

“… Nothing,” William said huffily as he threw himself into a seat further away from Eris and Fluttershy. “Just lies and slander about a perfectly healthy, loving, normal mare.”

“Uh…” Turtle blinked and looked between them for a single moment before shrugging. “O-kay…?”

“Hey,” Rainbow Dash returned panting, and oddly sweaty. However, she wore a large relaxed smile, and she nodded quickly to the baffled receptionist. “She was right, that was a nice quickie.”

Turtle Shell dropped her lunch.

“Eris, you change your mind?” she asked chipperly, to which the draconequus only snorted and resumed glaring sourly out the window.

“Right,” Dash nodded again. “Then we are finally outta-”

“Actually,” Dash nearly leapt out of her skin at Yolk’s quiet voice behind her. “Would you mind if I had a little chat with your son first?”

“Oh. Oh, uh…” Rainbow Dash shifted away. “I mean, I-I guess…”

“Oh, wonderful!” Yolk White beamed friendlily at him, utterly oblivious to the fact that Fluttershy was doing her best chameleon impression and had somehow gotten herself tightly lodged beneath one of the chairs. “Don’t worry about a thing, it won’t even hurt much,” she winked.

William was thoroughly against the idea of returning to Yolk White’s office. In fact, he was against ever returning to the same street, let alone the building.

“You know, I know quite a lot about you,” Yolk said comfortably from behind her desk, toying absentmindedly with a small model ship in her magical grasp. “But I think that things would go more smoothly if you told me just a tiny bit about yourself, William.”

“You don’t seem surprised,” he answered quietly, sitting stiffly in the high backed plush chair across from her.

“Oh, not really, dear. Not every poor, unfortunate soul that comes to me is a big talker, you know.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Yolk blinked innocently, but William saw through her ruse immediately.

“Oh, yes. You meant you, didn’t you?” she smiled, dropping the façade as if she planned on it all along. “What with your particular species and all.”

“You aren’t very specific.”

“Would you prefer me to be?” White asked.

“I don’t like vagueness or generalizations.”

“A very to the point type you are,” Yolk smiled again. “I like that.”

She flipped through a couple of folders without looking away, her ears upturned to him for any sign of forthcoming information.

“This isn’t your file,” Yolk answered his unasked question serenely. “Oh ho, no. I’ve already memorized yours.”

Although she said it with a very friendly tone, it still sent a small chill up the base of William’s spine.

“William Zachariah Klaskovsky,” she recited from memory, closing the folder and hiding a picture inside. “Born on the sixth of June, currently thirteen years of age. Adopted by one ‘Rainbow Dash’ and ‘Discord’, mother’s name unknown. Funny,” Yolk laughed at nothing. “Born in a Harvest Moon year, or do humans have wild and crazy different calenders?”

“… Two thousand and six,” William answered quietly.

“My, my. That’s a lot of calenders.”

William did not laugh at her joke.

“Do you like living here?”

The question seemed to genuinely catch him off guard, but William was quick to return to his expressionless gaze.

“I am content.”

“You hesitated,” Yolk examined her hoof tip for a few seconds. “Is there something that you want to share?”

“No. I do not want to share anything.”

“Your mother tells me that you fell down a flight of stairs,” she continued, writing something else down in one of her files with a magical grip on her pen. “Including the fact that you appear to have some injuries on your… hands. Coupled with your reluctance to talk about anything, I just might get the impression that Miss Dash is a little… heavy hoofed in her attempts at parenting.”

“Are you insinuating that my mother is abusing me?” William asked dangerously.

“You haven’t denied it.”

“That’s a preposterous and frankly insulting notion,” he responded promptly. “Mother would never do any such thing. My injuries are results of my own… misfortune.”

“I see. So you have a lot of accidents?” Yolk asked politely, ceasing her writing. William suddenly felt very apprehensive about saying anything else, but was equally determined to prove Rainbow Dash’s innocence.

“On occasion,” William clasped his hands firmly together to keep them still. “Things like that happen.”

“Just bad luck maybe,” she smiled, crossing something out on her paper.

“I don’t believe in things like coincidences or bad luck,” he frowned, eyes narrowing to a slant as he turned his attention instead to the forlorn little ashtray on the corner of her desk.

“Hm. Not everypony does, naturally.”

“This room smells like… disinfectant.”

“That’s… a bit of an odd statement,” Yolk dropped her smile at last, looking at him with interest.

“And understatement, actually. This whole place reeks of it.”

“I like things nice and clean,” her smile returned. He hated that plastic thing dangling on her face, like her lips were a hiding red spider just ready to leap out at him.

“That’s a half truth,” William stared her down. “You have a nicotine addiction and you’re embarrassed any of your clients might find out about it.”

Yolk’s lips pursed ever so slightly.

“I’ve read your ‘self-help’ books,” he continued quietly. “At first I thought that you might just be misguided, but meeting you in person really changed that, Yolk.”

“… Really.”

“Yes, really. You’ve written quite an impressive number of self-help books. They all say exactly the same thing, and none of them do anypony any good because it’s all generalized garbage. I’m surprised you managed to get a doctorate, which I’m convinced doesn’t actually exist. That’s why you have so many photographs all over the walls, because you were hoping that nobody would notice.”

Yolk White had long since grown very, very quiet. Her smile had not vanished, and her brilliant emerald eyes burned a fiery hole in him the entire while.

“You’re a despicable shrew. You tell people exactly what they want to hear and scam them out of their money with no apparent remorse and then try to hide it in shame. This whole place reeks of magical disinfectant, like you can clean up your act just like that – but that’s all it really is in the end. Just an act. You really are pathetic, Miss White.”

“… Observant little boy,” Yolk said unflinchingly. “That was in your file too. You’ve got a pretty big file, too. Would you like to know why?”

William didn’t answer.

“You’re a peculiar case, William. The only one of your kind in all of Equestria.”

“Everyone is unique, ironically enough,” he stated flatly.

“It took a lot of bright minds working together on your personality file alone,” she continued peacefully, standing at last and stretching her forelegs, looking out the mirror at the cloudy sky. “A whole lot of ponies quietly working on the behavior and psychology of one little boy.”

“Is that legal?” his eyes narrowed again as she slowly drew the curtains closed, tranquilly reclaiming her seat as if nothing had happened.

“Decreed by royal order,” Yolk smiled. “Only the arrogant assume that they alone are observant.”

William started to proudly retort before her words sank in. Those burning emerald eyes belied her intention, and the creeping horror dawned on him at last as he understood the implications.

“… Someone’s been spying on us.”

“Could be anypony,” she calmly inspected her hoof again. “You’d never discover who it was, though; that’s only a result of arrogance.”

“Whom.”

“… What?” Yolk blinked.

He only sat there with his hands folded neatly, never moving an inch.

“Whom,” William corrected her. “I would never discover whom it was.”

“… Pardon me.”

“I forgive you,” he smiled. “That’s only a result of ignorance. Might I ask why you would inform me of something like this in the first place?”

“Two of the first reactions of any subject in similar studies indicate that they will alter their behavior and seek out the source of their observer,” Doctor White informed him with a quiet smile. “I find that it makes things more interesting.”

“Well,” Yolk said at last. “This has been an enlightening experience. Would you like to rejoin your adoptive mother?”

It was a low blow, and William knew it, but was seemingly unfazed.

“I would, thank you kindly,” he rose and responded without a single hint of emotion.

“I look forward to seeing everypony in a couple of weeks!” she beamed at him, remaining seated and magically opening the door for him. “I know we had a bit of a rocky start, but I think we’ll be best friends before long.”

“I agree,” William gave a mocking one-finger half salute from the side of his head as he walked away. “Can’t bake a cake without breaking a few eggs.”

0-0-0-0-0

Klaskovsky Addition # 129

Subject failed to discover observation via initiative. Subject has become aware of the observation procedures. All activities are to be continued as normal, with the exception of Delta and REDACTED. Unsurprisingly, REDACTED remains uncooperative just as Discord claimed. Strongly advising immediate Vertigo Protocol and awaiting further orders.

THREAT LEVEL – Intermediate.

SUGGESTION – Report any and all anomalous action without delay. Bypass Leonidas if REDACTED indicates any form of aggression at all. And for Titan’s sake, don’t let this one get near Sun or Moon this time. We don’t need another Orange Valley incident.

0-0-0-0-0

Playing With Fire

0-0-0-0-0

Click. Click. Click. Click.

“Mother. Mother. Mother. Mother. Mother,” William droned, dropping one manilla envelope after another onto the slowly growing pile on the sofa.

“Not for me,” Eris stated in an especially monotonous tone with the drop of each letter. She snapped her talons in tune to the landing of each one, watching them fall. “Not for me. Not for me. Not for me,” she scratched a spot between her eyes in boredom. A few boxes of still damp belongings littered the living room, one of William’s books dangling precariously over the edge and hanging by a thread.

“I sent one, too,” Fluttershy poked her head in from the hallway, startling them. She smiled innocently, but William said nothing to her before turning back to his sorting.

“Well?” Rainbow Dash’s voice drifted from the bedroom at the end of the hall.

“They’re still going,” Fluttershy answered as she returned, the sound of Applejack chortling clear amongst them.

“Yeah, no shit,” Eris grumbled under her breath, shoving the pile of letters to the edge of the couch with her foot and careful not to mix them too closely with the ones William had sent. A couple of them tumbled to the floor, which she gave no attention to. “This is why I switched to email.”

Eris leisurely began rifling through some of William’s belongings, pulling out a few books between her talons.

“Don’t touch those,” he didn’t even look up. “Mother. Mother. Mother.”

“Why not?” she pulled a few more out just to be antagonistic, peering at their covers. “What, you have something against reading now? Filthy communist!”

Eris flipped a few textbooks over before losing interest, digging in one of the boxes for a new one.

“Biology. History. Astronomy. History again, eh… on flying horses. Astrology. Arithma-yawn, that’s more like it,” she said jokingly, to which he didn’t even blink. Eris frowned, paying no attention as she dug through more. “Another math book. History of pegasi inventions. History of flight. Agriculture, arithmetic again, more lame crap on flying – what is it with you and pegasuses?”

“It’s pegasi,” William neatly placed yet another stack of letters to the side, beginning on the next. “And I have an interest is all. Mother. Mother. Mother.”

“What, but no anatomy books for pega-sigh?” she smirked. “Pitiful. And you call yourself a librarian.”

“Don’t need it,” he said blandly. “I know plenty about anatomy.”

She stifled a yawn, briefly wondering just what the others in the other room were up to.

“Mother,” he didn’t pause a beat. “Mother. Mother. Mother. Mother. Mother. M- Scootaloo!”

Eris quietly remarked that it was similar to a light switch being thrown from how quickly his face lit up. He ripped open the small green envelope greedily, motioning in swift little circles around the rest of the pile.

“… What?” she stared, snapping her talons in mild annoyance as he speedily dug into the letter with glee. “What is that? I don’t do sign language crap. Are you saying ‘flush the rest’?”

“What?” William frowned suddenly, looking up. “I – no! More! Look for more of this color, quickly, quickly!”

And with that he resumed reading over the letter, utterly ignorant of the fact that Eris hadn’t budged an inch.

“Aaaaaand not for me,” she muttered slowly, giving a quiet sigh. It was a long few minutes before she finally realized that William had all but stopped moving. Upon closer inspection she found him to be simply rereading the same letter over and over again, his face a bland façade of dumbfounded shock.

“Anything interesting?” Eris asked hopefully, desperate for any form of entertainment that she could get.

“… Oh dear.”

His face had seemingly plastered itself into a shocked shell of skin, and he stayed perfectly still.

“… That’s not helping,” she snorted eventually, but he only read and reread the letter over and over again.

Why don’t you ever write back?

It’s like you’ve forgotten about me completely. That’s really what if feels like. Please don’t forget about me. Please, please, please.

I just wish that you would come back. Everypony misses you. I keep forgetting that you aren’t at home anymore every time I come to visit, nobody wants me there either. I don’t know why you won’t just ~~right~~ write back, please tell me you haven’t forgotten about me already. You promised that you would write me back, you promised you wouldn’t forget about me. Aren’t we friends anymore?

They’ll be coming for me soon. This ~~can’t~~ will probably be my last letter anyway. After all this time, I’m finally going to be adopted.

I’ll be moving to a new place when it happens. Mister Periwinkle seems pretty nice. He’s kind of book-y, I think that you would like him. Maybe it really won’t be too far away. Maybe I can see you again someday, and then we can all be friends again and hang out and everything can be like it used to.

Please come back before it’s too late, Will. Please. I still ~~l~~miss you.

~ Scoots

“Uh…” Eris waved her hand a couple of times, trying to catch his attention. “… Hey. Willie. Are you… crying?”

“No,” William choked, making a beeline for the bathroom and locking himself in.

0-0-0-0-0

“I’m telling you, she is evil.”

“Horse feathers,” Rainbow Dash snorted, staring at William unblinkingly from across the table.

“Really,” Fluttershy frowned distastefully as Applejack noisily finished off her dandelion sandwich. “That’s a terrible thing to say about anypony, let alone poor old Miss White.”

“Do you have any proof that she’s evil?” Apple Bloom inquired helpfully, leaning against the kitchen counter as her elder sister did. For the strangest reason, William simply would not look at her, and it was irritating her further by the minute. Fluttershy shifted awkwardly in her seat beside Rainbow Dash. Eris had long since dawdled off out of boredom.

“… Well, not-not precisely,” William said with some difficulty, unable to look his friend quite in the eye.

“It sounds ridiculous…” Dash frowned, twirling a hoof around her empty plate and knocking a crumb away absentmindedly. “I mean, I can’t really see her being evil.”

“Evil is such a strong word,” Fluttershy cringed openly. “She isn’t even rude, she’s-she’s just so sweet and nice!”

William crossed his arms indignantly, clearly irritated.

“And I’m telling you that it’s all a ruse,” he insisted. “This ‘doctor’ White – if that even is her real name – even admitted to sending someone to spy on us as some kind of-of elaborate revenge scheme.”

Although she didn’t move much, Rainbow Dash’s ears perked up.

“… Is that right,” she muttered, furrowing her brows. “A spy?”

“You didn’t hit your head or nothin’, did you?” Applejack loomed behind him, startling him and causing him to jump. “Sounds more like one of them crazy Mission: Implausible stories.”

William shied away from her, scowling.

“I am not crazy!” he asserted strongly.

“Nopony said that you were, Will…” Fluttershy attempted to pat his hand soothingly. “It’s just – I mean, she can’t – well, that you’re sounding… um, well…”

She looked to either of her friends for assistance, but it was Rainbow Dash to rise from her thoughts first.

“Paranoid.”

William’s heart sank like a rock into his stomach, which became oddly heavy.

“… Sorry Will,” Dash shook her head remorselessly. “But take it from somepony that knows. You really do sound paranoid.”

“But I’m not crazy!” William said desperately, eyes searching each one of them in turn in hopes that someone, anyone would believe him. Ironically enough, now Apple Bloom was avoiding his gaze. “… I’m not, I’m telling the truth!”

“Whelp,” Applejack coughed into her hoof, her discomfort painfully obvious. “Guess we might as well start heading back.”

Apple Bloom looked at Will curiously for a moment.

“Do we hafta?” she asked quickly, but Applejack shook her head.

“Unless you want to get caught in the rain,” she nodded out the window at the cloudy sky. “Now move those hooves, we’ve still gotta help Granny get dinner ready.”

“But we just had sandwiches!” Apple Bloom whined as she wearily followed her toward the door, throwing a sheepish ‘I tried’ look to William before zipping off.

The trio sat in almost peaceful silence for a few moments before William wordlessly rose to collect the plates. Rainbow Dash finally pulled her eyes away from the bulbous grey clouds where a single orange pegasus was desperately batting back a particularly static blob of angry haze. Perhaps if she just didn’t look, if she just kept her eyes busy then her body would stop screaming at her to obey it, to give herself what she wanted, what she needed…

Some things you can do without, it’s not a necessity-

But I need it, can’t live without-

I can’t, I don’t want to, just stop. Don’t have to because I don’t need to, simple as that, just go back to your drink and everything will be fine except it won’t I know it I need it now-

“You know…” Dash started as Fluttershy rose in attempt to free herself from the awkward quiet. “Nopony can really sleep in Will’s room for a while ‘til it’s finished, and this place is pretty small…”

Fluttershy blinked, uncertain of what she was attempting to say. The soft clink of glass in the sink went mostly unheard.

“And, uh, it can get pretty cramped sometimes,” she continued before clapping one hoof against the table as if an idea had just occurred to her. “Hey! Flutters, you wouldn’t – I mean, would you mind foalsitting for a night or two?”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened with a smile, much to the quiet pleasure of Rainbow Dash.

“Hmm? Oh, sure thing, Rainbow!” she beamed. “I wouldn’t mind at all, anything I can do to help!”

“Awesome,” Dash breathed, grinning. “I mean, there’s enough room for two, so you’d only have to foalsit one, if that helps.”

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Fluttershy shook her head peacefully. “I have room enough for two-”

“No, no,” Rainbow Dash insisted with a forced smile. “It’s fine, really – it’ll work out great, one can stay with you and the other with me, problem solved!”

“O-oh…” she shifted with a hint of uncertainty, but it was gone the next. “Um, well, if that’s what you think is best…”

“What do you think, Will?”

“What?” he blinked, having been standing very still and simply holding onto one plate for the last few minutes. “I don’t know. Yes. No. I mean, yes. What was the question?”

“So it’s settled then,” Dash perked up.

“Do you want to grab an overnight bag?” Fluttershy turned quietly to William, who still seemed to be in an unnaturally stunned sort of silence.

“Uh, actually…” Rainbow Dash started uncomfortably, cloaking her frustration. She silently cursed herself for not being more specific, and slowly bit her lower lip.

What am I supposed to say now? No, I meant take the other one?

Fluttershy waited expectantly, awaiting Dash’s words. Even William seemed a little hopeful.

“… Nothing,” Dash shook her head hard, forcing a smile. “Go on ahead, Will, I’ll finish up the dishes.”

“Thank you, by the way-” Fluttershy started. She was rambling something else to his mother, but William didn’t hear it on the way to his room. All that preoccupied his mind was that his mother was sending him away. He was being taken away from her.

Again.

Hands trembling in quiet fury, William was careful to keep Princess Luna’s black book close to him as he packed. It wasn’t a good idea to do that to him, he silently vowed to no one but himself. They would see, then. They would see what happens when you play with fire.

0-0-0-0-0

It wasn’t long before Rainbow Dash was sitting all by herself again.

The lonely sounds of an empty house echoed back at her, and her sighs went unheard. She scraped her hoof across the table, painting an imaginary image as she lost herself in thought once more.

It was stupid, and she knew it. What was she even trying to pull?

Dash groaned inwardly, massaging her eyelids. It wasn’t just stupid, it was insane.

You have to stop. It HAS to stop. Please, please, please just let me stop. If not for me, then for his sake. You can’t – I can’t keep doing this. Just stop. Just stop. Just stop. Just-

Dash pried her eyes open with another weary sigh, standing and reaching into one of the higher cabinets before remembering too late that her supply of liquor had long since been drained. Or the main supply, at least. She started toward another cabinet before shaking herself away, frowning.

“Eris,” she shouted suddenly. “You’re too quiet; what are you up to?”

Once again Rainbow Dash was met with silence. Her frown grew a little deeper, and she was quick to remove herself from the kitchen.

“Seriously, where are you at?” Dash called a little more loudly in frustration. “I haven’t heard from you in, like, twenty minutes-”

Her voice trailed off as she found the living room empty as well. Not a soul was to be found in either her bedroom or William’s, which had a little painted cardboard sign obviously made by Apple Bloom that read ‘under constriction’. She smirked a little at that, shaking her head before making another round through the empty house.

Where had she gone?

“Eris?” Dash murmured again, slipping out the back door. To her surprise, the draconequus was kneeling in the faint drizzle in the far corner of what was once William’s garden with her back to the pegasus.

She crept a little closer behind Eris, moving more slowly when she heard the quiet muttering.

“-e behind, stupid fathead, never trust a guy with a beard – that’s what Mom always said, I think, I don’t know, I’m saying it anyway, can’t even get a decent – just go in – you stupid prickly sonuvabitch-!”

Eris’s words were continually interrupted by garbled noises which could have been called cries had they not been so forcefully shoved down each time. Dash felt her agitation slipping away the longer that she stood there. Rain slipped down her mane and into her eyes, and her previously high held head slowly drooped until she stood in tired exasperation behind the oblivious draconequus. A sliver of guilt mingled with an unexpected sense of worry for her, and this time Rainbow Dash failed to brush it off.

“… Hey.”

Eris jerked violently in shock, twisting and lurching back simultaneously. Her eyes were wide with surprise, and Dash saw that they were puffy and red before Eris quickly feigned a sneezing fit.

“Hey yourself,” Eris throatily replied, rising unenthusiastically and rubbing her sore back with a dirty talon. She refused to look at her, and tried to stick her mismatched hands in imaginary pockets in a similar manner that William was fond of doing. It threw Dash off for a bare moment.

“What’cha doing?” she asked quietly, ignoring the patter of rain.

Eris wordlessly kicked at what looked vaguely like a very mangled turnip, the upturned patch of mud catching it neaty.

“… You’re gonna catch a cold,” Rainbow Dash said emotionlessly, turning and motioning for her to follow with one wing.

“Probably already did,” she responded swiftly, faking another small coughing fit as she strode beside her toward the house. “That’s-that’s why, um. Y’know. Runny nose an’ eyes and… y’know.”

“… Yeah. I know. I know, Eris,” Dash quietly put her other wing on her side and pulled her closer. “Believe me. I know.”

“No!” Eris smacked her touch away abruptly, leading Rainbow Dash to stare hard. “No, you don’t – you don’t, okay?”

She bitterly clung to herself as she dragged herself in behind the pegasus, but Rainbow Dash didn’t seem to notice her anymore. In all truth, however, she was watching the draconequus very, very closely.

There was just something familiar that she had seen in her eyes that made it hard to cling to that frail sense of entitled anger that she so desperately wanted to indulge in, even though she knew how foolish it was just thinking about it.

“… Sorry.”

Rainbow Dash wordlessly passed her a towel as they tried to dry themselves in the hall, waiting for her to finish.

“Whatever,” she shrugged at last, nearly the opposite of what she was thinking. “I was a teenager once too, you know.”

“Why would you assume that I’m a teenager?” Eris’s paw froze atop her head, where she was miserably attempting to force it into a soggy turban. “You don’t know me. Do you even know how old I am?”

“Alright. Alright. Okay,” Dash said after a moment, hoof pressed firmly against her eyelids as if she could simply press back the rising tide of irritation. “Eris, hon, I don’t have to know that to know enough. Something’s got your goat, I can tell, so why don’t you just drop the big bad wolf huff n’ puff and gimme the skinny?”

Eris stared at Rainbow Dash. Eris stared hard at Rainbow Dash for a long, long time.

“… Oh my god,” she at last cringed openly. “Were-were you just trying to sound… hip?”

“… No,” Dash said without blinking.

“That has got to be the saddest thing I have ever heard...!” Eris chewed one knuckle in furious attempt to keep from giggling, and failed horridly.

“… Shut up, doofus,” Rainbow Dash nudged her warmly through the house, grinning just was wide as she was. “Go get another towel already, you’re dripping all over my floor.”

“I ain’t horny.”

Eris said it so seriously, with such an unexpected straight face that Dash earnestly had difficulty fighting back the stream of sniggers, which seemed to delight Eris.

“Heyyo!” she clapped her mismatched hands together with a sly smirk. “See what I did there?”

Dash prodded her along again, shaking her head. Yes, there was most definitely something familiar about her, even if she didn’t want to admit it. That was one of the main reasons she kept trying to find something to keep her away, although she’d never admit that either. It was the fact that Rainbow Dash was slowly forgetting the ‘why’ part that frightened her. But some things simply had to be.

For Celestia’s sake, she even smelled like him.

0-0-0-0-0

William never found himself impressed with Fluttershy’s home.

It was a cozy enough place, certainly. The ceilings were a bit lower than he would have initially expected, and it was dry and warm, but he still did not like it. It just wasn’t home.

William’s fingers trailed over the edge of the book over and over again, the sound of heavy nightfall grating on his ears.

It’s not just sometimes. It’s all the time now, Luna. Every day. I’m getting worried.

I assure you that there is nothing to fear, Master William.

If you say so, Princess.

The book’s pages shivered in the dim candlelight, the last words fading away once more. William stared at the empty sheets for a few moments in silence.

Can I see you again?

No,

and William was a bit surprised at the speed at which she responded.

No. Not this time. Not until you have acquired the catalyst.

I’m trying, William scrawled, holding back his frustration. But every time I try, Miss Sparkle seems to either be too busy to notice or bother, and I don’t even know if the crystals from the Crystal Empire would even suffice.

What did you tell Sparkle?

His hands paused over the book, watching the inky stains fade.

Nothing.

Good. Good. That is good. Nopony needs to find out.

I might not have a choice but to do it… William left his sentence hanging, his brows furrowed in thought.

No, Master William. There is no choice. Not if our plans are to come to fruition. Have you prepared properly?

I’ve memorized every sigil, he scribbled wearily, desperately wishing for a sleep that would not come. Every single incantation and provisional hex in the book, but it only goes so far.

That is because you lack sufficient knowledge. The books will be nearby; foolish of her to put them in such close proximity, but it is of no consequence now. Just ensure that both are in your possession by that time, Master William, and then your training can truly commence. But even if that fails, there are still other ways of completing the ritual. Granted, they are slow, but almost equally effective.

And then I can see you again?

The book’s pages all faded blank, leaving them spotless and clean. Nothing happened for a moment, and William temporarily feared that she would not respond. His eyes hung unblinkingly onto the places where the words once were, like just seeing them would bring her melodious voice back to his ears.

Yes. Then you may see me again.

Good. Good.

William murmured her words under his breath even as they faded, his fingers trailing over vanishing ink as if he could touch Luna through the pages. His frown only deepened again, but it was gone the next moment. It would just take a little time. But now… it was almost time for action.

William peered up at the crescent moon through Fluttershy’s kitchen window. The shining patch of whiteness in the sky seemed so strangely protected from the frothing clouds smearing their quilt to hide the stars. Almost like it were breaking through just for him to see.

A small smile almost reached his lips.

William resumed his pacing once more, bare feet plodding silently over the cold floor. He wrinkled his nose as he paced back and forth through the muted darkness. He did not care for the scent of vegetables and dirt, and the underlying smell, while not unpleasant, was still strong enough to be distracting. William despised distractions.

It seemed all the same no matter how much he thought on it, no matter how much the plotted and paced. Princess Luna really was the only one that he could rely on. Her advice may not have been what he wanted to hear, but he could be assured that it was more truthful and heartfelt than what anyone else would tell him.

Anyone else would probably just make up some stupid excuse or fabrication. Anyone else wouldn’t have believed him when he said something.

Soon, though…

William stared at his pale hands in the moonlight, turning them over and over again in the patch of light as he ceased pacing again. Sometimes, in order to get someone to listen to reason, you had to make them listen. He clenched his hands tightly, so much that they were shaking.

They would listen.

No they won’t, said a little voice in the back of his mind. Stupid animals don’t know when to listen, when to obey.

He padded across the icy floor, his feet so numb that he felt almost like a ghost gliding across the shadows on the floor. William only repeated the arcane words under his breath as he did so, like a mantra that could make it all seem clearer. Of course, there was no such spell for things like that; not that William knew of, anyway. Ironically, it was a jinx for heavy sleep, something that he desperately wished that he could experience at that moment. Perhaps then his mind would finally slow down, his rapid heart would stop burning his veins.

But that wouldn’t stop – it wouldn’t stop until it was over. He was ready, he was ready now. There wasn’t a choice.

William’s hand squeezed tightly around the wooden handle as he walked, letting his hands swing free by his sides as he crept up the carved wooden stairs to Fluttershy’s room. He passed right by the guest room, the door still wide open and his bed almost untouched, but he paid it no mind.

All that mattered was that he finish.

His mind was blissfully blank, almost like he could sleep again. Just at the edge of unconsciousness, like he were peeling back the corner of a dream and ready to drop inside. The overwhelming urge to simply give in and let the loving embrace of slumber take him grew, but it seemed surreally further away simultaneously with every step toward the pegasus’s bedroom.

William didn’t know how he had crept through the darkness without making a single sound. He didn’t know how he had locked the door behind him without paying attention, especially in the dark; but he knew, he knew that it would be locked. There was no way out now. No way out for William.

No way out for anyone.

He stood over her for a while, his thumb rubbing softly over the polished wooden handle. The knife glinted cruelly in the darkness, a tiny sliver of moonlight slipping through the bedroom curtain. He could see the treacherous bitch’s chest rising and falling beneath him, sheets tucked up as far as they would go. Disheveled blankets were strewn, to be sure, and it was clear just from her expression that she was sleeping restlessly. If he didn’t hurry she might wake up. William did not want her to wake up.

Do it.

She looked so frail, sleeping there. William wordlessly peeled back the sheets, and still Fluttershy did not move. William leaned over her a little further, pushing himself onto the bed but remaining standing. From the way he stood if he slipped he would fall right on top of her. The carving knife jutted down just over her heart, the sharpened tip ever so slightly brushing against her. His heartbeat seemed so fast, so loud that it almost hurt.

She is weak. Do it to her.

Fluttershy shifted in her sleep, but William did not freeze. He did remain fairly still, however, so as not to wake her. She deserved to enjoy her rest, at the very least. Do unto others, he thought vaguely to himself. It was almost as if his own thoughts didn’t reach him, though, like his mind and body were two different entities – like he were watching it all through a movie screen, like it weren’t real. After all, something like this… ridiculous, of course it was. It wasn’t happening, it was just a dream. That must have been it, all just a dream. Soon he would awaken and then the regular dreams would occur, soon he would go back to the nightmares.

But it wasn’t happening just yet. This dream could still have a happy ending. For him, anyway.

Do it. Just do it. Nobody ever has to know.

William trailed the knife slowly, almost sensually up her exposed chest, letting it rest like a petal over her jugular vein. The blade rose and fell with her slow, heavy breathing, and his eyes never left it. The chanting in his mind seemed so thick, so heavy that it seemed like a prevalent force on its own. His force, it made him strong.

Do it. She can be hidden. Do it. Do it.

Fluttershy unexpectedly whimpered in her sleep. Her face scrunched up in pain, and she reached out slowly to grab something that wasn’t there before slipping deeper into slumber. William watched the proceeding with an empty expression, but inside was turmoil. It was like the simple little action had stirred something painful, something that reminded him of old memories. Faster and faster screamed his heart, louder and louder until it was screaming in his ears.

Do it. Do it do it do it do it do it DO IT DO IT DO IT! DO IT DO IT DO IT! DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO-

Rainbow Dash fidgeted with the blankets, staring hard up at the ceiling.

It had to have happened at some point or another. Probably when she had just started to drift off into a hazy half sleep for a little while. Perhaps the motion had woken her up. The light drizzle from before, while for a short while seeming as if it might finally let up, had grown into a full storm.

Dash stifled a groan, absentmindedly thinking of the flooding that was likely to occur if somepony didn’t take care of the weather properly. Of course, this was quickly pushed to the back of her mind along with nearly everything else as she tried to comprehend precisely why Eris was sharing a bed with her.

She could make out her shape in the darkness, surprisingly clearly the longer she watched her. The draconequus’s face was a mask of peaceful indifference as she slept on her side facing her. A single snore escaped before she lapsed back into silence.

… Oh no.

Rainbow Dash quietly, softly forced herself to look away, gently lying herself back down and driving her sight to the ceiling in heavy contemplation.

This was bad.

She looks like him. She look just like him. She looks just like him. She looks just-

Rainbow Dash quietly stole another glance at Eris, shifting onto her side. No matter her movement Eris did not seem to wake up, and she slowly recognized the draconequus as a heavy sleeper.

If she won’t wake up, then…

Dash’s cheeks burned as she thrust the thought away, her hairs bristling as she kicked it back down. She didn’t need it, didn’t want anything like that, especially not with Eris. Besides, she was so much younger-

You don’t even know how old I am, do you?

Maybe then… I mean, I could just say that I didn’t know. Yeah. I could say that I didn’t know if anypony were to find out, but that’s a last case scenario because I won’t, I won’t even look at her again.

She had difficulty peeling her eyes away from the peacefully sleeping draconequus. Her ears flat against her head as she dreamed, her pert lips pulled almost into a cute little pout. The curvature of her face that looked so eerily like his that she could easily have been mistaken for Discord in a dark room.

Except you are in a dark room.

Rainbow Dash’s quivering hoof ever so slowly shook back in front of her face, touching her cheek softly with the tip. Still she did not awaken as Dash almost hoped that she would, just wake up and tell her to go back to sleep because she was dreaming, of course she was dreaming any moment now she would wake up and the rain would be over and she would step outside and fly away from all of her worries-

Eris’s lips were soft and warm against her own, supple and tight. The itch, the overwhelming fiery need scorching her made her flesh tremble against the slumbering draconequus. The warmth of her sleeping young body against her own beneath the blankets only served to stoke the flames. It was hot – too hot, she knew it, she was flying too close to the sun. Soon the fire would grow out of control, soon it would rage just as brightly as before.

And then she would burn.

Celestia, forgive me.

0-0-0-0-0

What You Are In The Dark

0-0-0-0-0

Tell me. Are you afraid?

“Well?” Ronald quipped, adjusting his dirty glasses as the torchlight swung across the decrepit basement. “You scared or sommat? You afraid?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” William snorted haughtily, trudging along closely behind the bulkier boy as the darkness seemed to hungrily creep along behind them. “Were that the case, then I wouldn’t have bothered at all.”

Despite his strong words, William’s voice grew weaker the further they traversed into the boiler room. Every slow, creaky step down the worn wooden stairs seemed to cut them off from the outside world a little more, each breath grew a little harder to draw. It was almost as if some unseen presence were slowly trying to strangle them a little at a time, squeezing tighter and tighter the deeper they went. A dusty cobweb dangling from a single strand on the stairwell gleamed momentarily in the light; and as the dead spider at the end lifelessly wriggled in the slight breeze brought by their passing, he was strongly reminded of a dirty, unwashed gallows, each imagined twitch making the illusion all the more powerful.

The space between William and Ronald was swiftly closed.

“This is stupid,” William muttered after a moment, not daring to slip too far away from his friend. Ronald’s flashlight twirled in his fingers, casting impossible shadows over the walls until it landed on the bulbous blackened body of the ancient boiler. “There’s no such thing as ghosts, and the basement isn’t haunted, we came and oh look there’s nothing here let’s leave now-”

“Eh, I dunno…” Ronald fought back a snigger, clearly straining to hide his delight at the boy’s discomfort. “I heard Sister Frankie sayin’ somebody straight up died down here…”

A creak of the rafters sent another shudder up William’s already strangely sweaty and chilled spine, which he attributed to the dank of the basement.

“Even were that the case – which it is clearly not, don’t even bother disputing it – we aren’t going to find anything interesting,” William argued, desperately inching back toward the stairs.

Do you feel that sinking in the recesses of your heart?

“I knew it , you’re chicken!” Ronald crowed victoriously, grinning from ear to ear.

“I’m not afraid of anything,” he was quick to argue. “It’s just that this place is absolutely disgusting, I mean just look at all this dust-”

“Chicken!” Ronald guffawed. “Chicken, chicken, buck-awk, buck buck buck!”

A loud CLANG! of metal against stone sent a screaming bolt of electricity up their spines, and it wasn’t even a bare moment before the two were scrambling in terror for the stairs. William felt himself pushed further up despite tripping and scraping his hands to the point of drawing blood, but they did not stop; the fearful beating of his heart gave him no reason to. It was at that point that Ronald yanked him back roughly by the ankle in a mad, thoughtless effort to plow ahead of him regardless of the fate it would leave William to.

Still he did not stop his wild fight up the stairs to escape, clawing just as hard at the wooden steps as he lost his foothold as Ronald was…

William awoke with a mild jolt as the train gave a particularly loud rattle.

His head bumped a little against the glass, and he wordlessly scolded himself for nodding off. His hands remained folded neatly in his lap, firmly keeping the precious black book in place. Whirring images of the countryside flew past him out the window, sinking into the distance just as a new sight came into view. He watched through the cold window for quite a while, simply listening to the rumble of the train clatter through the empty compartment.

A sliver of loneliness tugged at him in conjunction with the lingering sense of betrayal and fear, of the overwhelming despair gnawing at his belly. He brushed away the emotions quickly, forcing his gaze back down to the book in his lap. Even if it was only something to draw his attention away, at least it was something.

Something to bury it, deep in the darkness where the shadows stirred.

And closer he was led, further and further down the tracks.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

Right-o, really sorry about the lack of updates every~~p~~body.
I've been in a really deep funk lately, and I'm only just now starting to break out of it. I just wanted to let all the amazingly patient people that have been waiting on me to get off my rear know that I really am still writing, and that updates for the unfinished stories (including this one) are in transit, as well as the Journals finale.
Thanks for waiting on me, readers. I'm glad to be writing again.

Give Me Wings

0-0-0-0-0

The turmoil of the storm was something that Rainbow Dash felt easily lost in.

Tossing whirlwinds and heavy gusts shoved the leaking grey clouds around indiscriminately, though she did not avoid them with as much grace as usual. She simply barreled through several of the rainclouds hanging over Ponyville, leaving a congealing black and grey hole behind. Even the early morning sun seemed to hide behind the veritable mountain of grey, as if reluctant to cast the world in light at such an hour. It felt like the rain would never end.

The icy water slapping against her almost seemed to help a little bit.

Almost.

She landed hard only a few paces from Fluttershy’s cottage, the smack and pull of wet mud hardly registering in her ears. Dash kicked absentmindedly at the outside doormat, hardly bothering to brush it off. Her mind still sat in a heavy fog, her only sense of clarity brought by her newfound determination.

Soon everything would be fine again.

Rainbow Dash tenderly brushed at the spot beneath her left eye, ignoring the stinging sensation. It was her fault, she had no one but herself to blame-

Her head shook hard back and forth as she gave a few hearty knocks at the front door. All she had to do was avoid thinking about it for long enough. That could be sorted out later. For now she just needed her colt, then her home wouldn’t be empty anymore and everything would be fine. The mantra she repeated to herself sounded hollow, though. Lacking. It didn’t stop her from repeating it over and over again.

Rainbow Dash frowned in frustration when nopony answered the door, rainwater still dripping relentlessly onto her head.

“Wake up,” she said loudly enough that she surely would have been heard and gave a particularly hard bang on the door. “Flutters, open up. We gotta talk.”

Her irritation slowly morphed into fearful worry the longer that she stood on the doorstep without an answer. Fluttershy wasn’t one to ignore somepony on her step or even avoid answering the door when she came knocking. Unless something was wrong, or perhaps she was angry with her. Rainbow Dash couldn’t think of any reason why she might be… at first. It didn’t take long for an entire myriad of awful thoughts to come bubbling up, each one with worse implications than the last.

Maybe her fears had been recognized at last and Fluttershy had a perfectly good reason to never talk to her again.

A sickening bolt of fear fell through her stomach as she experimentally tried opening the door, only to find it unlocked. Her surprise lasted only a moment as she freed herself from the oppressive weather and shook the remnants of the water off, dripping hither and thither throughout her friend’s home.

“Fluttershy? Are you awake?” Dash called out nervously to the darkened cottage, an unnatural stillness her only reply. “William? Is anypony awake? I-I’m here…”

Her voice trailed off weakly as she peered through the darkness. Fluttershy’s home was almost always filled with the ambient sounds of a number of creatures that found solace there. Such sounds were strangely absent, and the abnormal amount of quiet was unsettling to the degree that Rainbow Dash found herself unconsciously inching back toward the door.

She stopped herself quickly and gave another little shake.

“Fluttershy!” she cleared her throat and called a little more loudly, striding through the cottage and tearing curtain after curtain open in effort to let more light in.

The darkness around her seemed so thick, so suffocating that Dash felt earnestly compelled to open each and every window shade, anything to let the light in, no matter how dim it might have been. Each shutter thrown wide cast a long, coffin-shaped ray of watery light onto the floors, accentuated by the occasional quiet flash of lightning. A slow hint of dread scratching at her belly urged her on, no answer coming to any of her calls.

Worry wound its way around her throat as she clambered up the stairs, choking her as she approached the darkened hallway. The familiar guestroom door was wide open, though no one was inside when she peered in.

There was no sign of anyone at all.

“Flutters?” Rainbow Dash called again, feeling as if she were going to be ill. “Somepony, answer me! Where’d everypony go?”

Her steps toward Fluttershy’s room were slow and deliberate. The fump. fump. fump. of her hooves on the floor seemed so painfully loud and jarring that she had to fight the urge to tiptoe. Rainbow Dash found herself holding her breath as she approached. A single crack of lightning made her jump, hoof barely an inch away from the door. She shouted her friend’s name once again, finding the bedroom door firmly locked.

“Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash shouted, hammering on the door. “Flutters, what in Tartarus is going on? Is William in there? Why won’t you answer me already? Don’t make me break this door down!”

Of course, her yelling went completely unnoticed.

She gave one heavy, haughty puff before promptly kicking the door as hard as she could. Surprisingly it stood firmly against her buck, as it did for the second – and third – and fourth.

Dash wound up hard for the fifth kick, drawing her leg back and slamming into the barrier with all her might. The deafeningly loud CRACK! of splintering wood was so akin to a clash of lightning that for a split second, Dash glanced around for a hole in the roof and promptly felt very silly for it.

After another moment, she discovered that somepony had kindly already opened the bedroom window blinds for her. Rainwater drizzled through with force, pelting halfway across the room.

Of course, it didn’t quite reach far enough to wash away the bloodstains.

0-0-0-0-0

It seemed like the rain would never end.

Tink. Tink. Tink. Tink.

Spike’s tarnished spoon thumped rhythmically against the ceramic, around and around the mug over and over again, gem dusted cocoa hardly registering on his tastebuds. Rivulets of rainwater streamed over the windows in undulating miniature rivers, casting a strangely surreal morning glow through the kitchen by its ethereal streams.

And so it would go, sometimes for hours. Sometimes it was coffee, but he had taken a liking to the cocoa lately. There were days where he couldn’t even bring himself to drink, instead opting to sit with the mug in his talons until it went cold. Either way, it didn’t matter much to him.

Spike watched the rain again for a while. The downpour almost completely buried the weak but frantic knocking at the library door.

He made no move to answer it.

He could almost pretend that he hadn’t heard it if the rainfall were only just a bit louder. Unfortunately the visitor would not simply leave and be done with it, hammering even more ferociously on the wooden door. Spike grumbled a couple of choice words under his breath before finally slipping away from his chair in the kitchen, plodding lazily toward the door to unlatch it with all the speed of a sleepy snail.

At long last, however, the lock was finally undone and the door pulled open, revealing a seriously flustered pegasus.

“I need to talk to Twilight,” Rainbow Dash brushed past him promptly, sopping wet and dripping water all over yet another floor with seemingly no care. Her eyes were wide and ruddy as if she had been crying, one of which appeared to be severely bruised. She looked as if she were on the very verge of being ill, or perhaps she had just finished. Spike stared at her for a moment before kicking the door closed.

“She’s sick,” he answered brusquely, and his own voice sounded a little rough even to himself.

“It’s really important.” The pegasus wiped her face shakily a couple of times, slipping further past him with gusto. “You wouldn’t understand.” Spike momentarily considered mentioning the wet mess she had left over the floor before quickly abandoning the idea and following her up the stairs.

“H-hey,” Spike worriedly tried to snag her tail to stop her, failing and almost losing his balance on the steps. “Hey! Rainbow Dash, c’mon! I already told you, she’s sick!”

Dash stamped one hoof against the hard wood floor at the top of the flight of steps, casting a single glance at him. There was an unfamiliar gleam in her eyes that he was not accustomed with, a stare that just seemed… off. It unnerved him.

“And I need her help right now; Spike, just-just go back to whatever you were doing, I just gotta talk to her for a sec-”

“No, Rainbow Dash!”

The little drake stood rather defiantly in front of the unicorn’s bedroom door, arms spread defensively out to keep her at bay. It was painfully apparent that he wouldn’t be able to stop her even if he tried, but it was the act of defiance itself that seemed to catch her attention at last.

“… C-come on,” he said at last, pleadingly. “Twi’s… she’s sick. She’s sick,, just leave her alone. Please. Just let ‘er rest.”

“I’ll just be a couple of minutes, I promise,” Rainbow Dash placed a damp hoof on one of his shoulders in a consoling manner, leveling her head at him. “But things are really, really bad right now, and I need her help.”

“You don’t – she doesn’t - you can’t –” Spike struggled in despair as Dash firmly pushed him out of the way.

The door was slow to creak open, grinding horribly on Rainbow Dash’s ears.

She had to say that she didn’t particularly care for the sound.

“… Twilight?”

The emaciated frame leering at her from across the room was so still, so quiet that for a moment Rainbow Dash was fearful that she had not really left Fluttershy’s cottage at all, that it were all merely in her mind. Such a thought shook her deeply and she was swift to push it away.

“Come on, don’t-!” Spike tried to keep her away, but Dash traversed the distance to the unicorn’s bed swiftly.

Twilight looked almost as bad as Fluttershy did.

Almost.

Her mane was filthy and matted, and in some places looked as if entire clumps had been torn out by the hooffuls. Twilight’s face was gaunt and sallow, and her body quivered beneath her blanket. Her eyes, however, were the worst. Wide, dilapidated pupils whirled around and around the room, fixating here and there on dead space before flickering in a panic elsewhere.

The mare was shaking and trembling when she approached, and Rainbow Dash was speechless for a long moment.

“… T-Twilight.”

“I see them.”

Her voice was dry and cracked, and so low that she almost went unheard. Twilight’s gaze that was turned upon her was inattentive, almost… hollow.

“Twi?” Rainbow Dash shifted awkwardly, uncertain of how to proceed. She could feel Spike’s glare on the back of her neck. “I – Celestia, Twilight. Spike – I mean, you – wow. Everything’s going wrong.”

“It’s all wrong,” Twilight’s ephemeral whisper came back as she looked away. “It’s wrong. It’s right. No right and wrong when it’s left. Nothing left. Nothing left. Nothing left.”

“Twilight – Twi, listen to me! Shit has hit the fan, snap out of it!”

Twilight didn’t even seem to hear her. Rainbow jerked when Twilight weakly grabbed her hoof, her slightly off gaze swiveling in her direction.

“Wrong. It’s all wrong. It’s over.”

“That’s-that’s right,” Dash agreed. “So snap out of it, I need your help.”

“There is no help. Not for you. Not for me. Not for anypony. It’s over.”

“Twilight!” she said roughly as the mare’s milky gaze drifted away again. “Jeez, come on! Fluttershy… Fluttershy’s dead, Twi…” her voice began to crack as the panic she fought so viciously against reared its ugly head, angrily yanking the reins away from her once more. “She- Celestia. I need to find William! I need to find him, you know tracking spells, right? I need you to find him before-”

“It’s over,” was Twilight’s only response. “I saw them. I see. It’s over. They’re coming, it’s over. It’s over.”

Rainbow Dash watched her feverishly ranting to herself for a few more seconds before turning helplessly to the librarian’s assistant.

“What’s wrong with her?” Rainbow Dash looked as if she were going to throw up.

“I told you, she’s-she’s sick…” Spike tugged at his tail fitfully. “Doctors have been over. She’s supposed to be moved today.”

“What happened?” Dash threw one last look at the delusional mare as she was guided out.

“Just started getting sick after a while,” he answered quietly as the door was closed back shut and he slogged toward the stairs. “I don’t really know. She just said I wasn’t allowed to know what she was looking for. Started seeing things. Now she’s like this. She’s sick, I’ve just been so worried I can’t-”

He stopped on one of the steps ahead of her, staring into space. Rainbow Dash said nothing, waiting for him to move.

“She’ll get better.” Spike nodded to himself after a few moments before moving again. “She’ll get better. What did you mean about Fluttershy?”

“She’s… she’s gone.”

Rainbow Dash’s reply was empty as her face.

“Gone how?”

“I-I don’t… I messed up,” Rainbow Dash confessed at last. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I messed up, I messed up so bad, I just keep - I have to go,” she made her way to the door and jerked it open without pause. “Gotta-gotta find William. I’m sorry. I gotta go.”

And as she took off into the sky, Spike wondered just how many of his friends he wasn’t going to have the chance to say goodbye to.

0-0-0-0-0

It began innocently enough, as most things are wont to do.

The dream was already fading, even though she held her eyelids tightly closed in a feeble attempt to keep it closer. It had been such a lovely dream too. Although the vision was long since gone, the quiet memory of excitedly clambering over great heights still lingered. With the ground far below her and a puffy white cloud sailing by, she could almost see the edge of the very world if she squinted. It was such a breathtaking, beautiful sight; so surreal that she almost felt that she could reach out and touch it, hold it in her hands.

She reached out and soared higher than ever before, elation such a subpar definition that she didn’t want to define it, lest she sully the feeling by merely mentioning it. It was like being given wings and cast to the sky, radiant in every way imaginable as she soared across it all without a care in the world.

She could almost see everything.

Nyack. Nyack. Nyack. Nyack. Nyack.

… I want to go back.

Eris groaned into her pillow, one hand jutting crankily from beneath her quilt and slapping haphazardly about in attempt to silence the dreadful squawking of the alarm clock. One knuckle smacked against her worn nightstand edge and left it stinging painfully. Instead of shutting the mechanical beast off, Eris instead angrily punched it.

Regardless, it was just as effective.

Five already. Time to get up.

“I know you heard the alarm,” her mother’s voice came wafting clearly into her ears shortly after, regardless of how hard she tried to ignore it and go back to the blissful dream. “Now either you get your butt up, or I get the ice again.”

“Hey, look at the time!” Eris sat bolt upright in bed, messy black hair dangling over her face and nearly covering her wide eyes. “Golly gee whiz, how did I not hear the alarm?”

Ena gave her a flat stare, arms crossed loosely over her chest.

“Keep up the lip. I might still get the ice bucket anyway,” she deadpanned, looming in the small doorway.

“I’m up, I’m going,” Eris grumbled, stretching lazily as the dim sunlight streamed into her seashell decorated room. “Jeez, gimme a couple of minutes. Eck, why is it so bright at this time of the morning?”

“I did,” her similarly raven haired mother yanked the blankets from her cruelly, cracking open the window and exposing her to the chill morning air. “The alarm’s been going off for the past ten minutes, up!”

Eris begrudgingly dragged herself from the comfort of her mattress and gave a heavy sigh. Her mother was in one of those moods again, it would seem. She trudged blearily toward the kitchen barefoot, cold wooden floor creaking beneath her as she did so.

“No time for breakfast!” came what were possibly the cruelest words to have ever been uttered.

“What?” Eris snapped from her dreamlike stupor in shock, peanut butter jar still in one hand.

“You shouldn’t have slept in!” Ena barked as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, covering up her flower pattern blouse with her favorite yellow raincoat and dressing quickly. “We’ll be back in time for lunch, but if we don’t hurry we’re going to miss it.”

“They’ll be there one way or another,” she rolled her eyes with a feeble hope that her mother would see reason and/or give in to her stomach. “Come on, I’m starving here.”

“Fishing poles!” Ena demanded. “Quickly! Vite! Andale! Vamanos! Rapido!”

“Alright, alright!” Eris finally surrendered to her mother’s unbearable early morning enthusiasm, noting the dangerous gleam in her vibrantly robin’s egg blue eyes as she was pushed toward the door. “I’m going, Christ! Just lemme get dressed first, slow down Mom!”

“Going slow is for old people and pansies!” Ena cackled, wide brimmed yellow fishing hat with a single rusty hook dangling from the side perched oddly atop her head. “Move it or lose it, sugar booger!”

Eris sat sullenly on the wooden bench, the creaking dingy groaning and moaning on the waves like it were about to start leaking at any moment. Of course, the ‘YHACKT’, as it was so named in bright yellow lettering, had already garnered several holes over the years. Ena always kept a container of glue nearby for such an occasion, which Eris’s foot bumped against as another low wave rolled beneath them. The letters were faded and peeling, but the misspelled word still stood out strongly on the side of their ‘cruise ship’.

Unlike her cheerful mother, Eris sat with her hands clasped loosely in her lap. Hunched forward with a dull stare, she hadn’t even prepared her own fishing pole. Instead her eyes were trained solely on the coast, almost out of sight from how far they had drifted.

“Haven’t said much for a while now,” Ena tugged absentmindedly at her line, casting a gaze downward into the crystal clear water. She brushed a lock from her shoulder length hair out of her face, distracted again by the wind. “Something up, pumpkin?”

“Gee, I dunno what it could be…” she responded dryly, peering down into the water and catching a glimmer of something shining below the surface. “I’m tired, I’m hungry, and I’m probably gonna be late for school again, but who knows what it could be.”

“If I wanted to listen to a smart ass I’d stick my i-phone up my butt,” Ena deadpanned. “Seriously, hon, something’s up and you’re not telling me. You haven’t been this sour all month.”

Eris sighed quietly through her nostrils, wearily weaving a wriggling worm onto her hook and dropping it with an unenthusiastic kerplunk! just off the edge of the boat.

“… Is it because you failed another big test or sommat?” Ena blinked, giving her a sideways glance.

“No, Mom,” she frowned, focusing solely on the water.

“Is it that time of the month-”

“Mom!”

“Is it because it’s only Wednesday?”

“No, Mom-”

“It’s because that Gary boy friend turned you down, didn’t he?”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Eris snapped quickly.

“Whoo,” Ena held up a single hand and raised her eyebrows. “Okay then. So, it’s boy troubles.”

“No, Mom, it isn’t,” she scowled angrily, jerking the hook away from a brightly colored yellow pudgy fish before it could snag the death trap. “The Gare doesn’t even talk to me.”

“… ‘the Gare’?” Ena sniggered. “God, he sounds like a douche.”

“He’s not a douche, he’s foreign.”

Ena blinked.

“What’s the difference?”

“Mom!”

“What?”

0-0-0-0-0

“Ticket, please.”

Eris glowered sleepily at the frumpy looking stallion before her.

She hated waking up feeling like this. For a brief moment she was still halfway inside her foggy memory, the dream already wriggling away from her and simultaneously leaving her completely unaware of where or when she was. Eris presented the crinkled paper that she still held tightly onto in her talons, barely managing to recollect herself. Talons, she had to remind herself firmly. Not hands. Not anymore.

The stallion wordlessly snagged the crumpled ticket in one hoof and quickly punched a hole in the paper before passing it back, doing the same to the next passenger in the seat behind her with a practiced touch. Somehow she only felt more sour as he walked away.

Eris had never particularly liked trains. Too loud, too slow, too cumbersome. Gigantic metal snakes weaving across the ground, chugging away with mechanical precision. She heaved a quiet sigh as the train carried her closer and closer to her goal.

It couldn’t be that difficult, after all. Eris was fairly certain that Celestia would be more than glad to assist her in this particular situation.

She had been struggling to keep her head pressed against the cool glass window for what felt like forever, simply listening to the sounds of the train overwhelming the pouring rain. Strangely the storm carried on for much longer than she expected it would have, and something niggled at the back of her mind the more that she thought about it. It must have been an awfully large storm to have covered such a large distance, but surely there had been larger. Eris silently reassured herself that it would be over soon, that the rest she was denying herself would return at any moment-

Eris jerked awake with a hard snap! of her neck, followed swiftly by a yelp. She rubbed the spot stiffly and glowered angrily at the window, as if it had done something to assault her as well.

It took her a full beat to realize that she was no longer sitting alone, nor had she been for quite a while.

“Oh. Good morning,” the mare said offhandedly behind an unfurled week old newspaper. “Surprise seeing you here.”

She blinked and rubbed her eyes before turning her weary gaze to the unwelcome emerald green ones behind a large pair of thick horn rimmed glasses.

Yolk White needlessly brushed back her flawlessly done two-tone pink mane, as if more out of habit than necessity; or rather, as Eris observed, an attempt to appear ‘natural’. If anything it only made Eris all the more nervous, who was utterly thrown off by the ordeal and eager to get away as rapidly as her legs would allow. Her confusion, however, held her firmly in place.

“… ‘the fuck are you doing here?” Eris rudely scowled at the mare sitting comfortably across from her. A flickering shadow rippled past the window momentarily, making the therapist seem oddly closer and further away at the same glance.

“That’s rather uncouth of you,” White said sniffily, turning a page in the unread newspaper. She patted the small briefcase next to her, pulling it a little closer to her lap. “On a business trip to Canterlot and I just thought I’d be friendly.”

“Business trip,” Eris deadpanned. “At this time of the morning.”

“I have a busy schedule,” she responded instantly, turning another page. Somehow Eris still felt that even though the therapist wasn’t looking at her she was still being held in her gaze, like a butterfly in a glass jar.

Eris quietly crossed her legs and arms, staring down the mare and refusing to give ground. She quickly glanced around the carriage, far more alert than she had been previously. Exits were the first thing kept in mind, as well as the few other disinterested passengers.

“Don’t think for a second I buy that,” Eris hissed venomously, to which Yolk didn’t even blink. “I didn’t even like you before, and this is kind of a big damned coincidence.”

“Coincidences occur regularly…” Yolk said dismissively, quietly folding her paper and putting it atop her briefcase. “Quite frequently, actually. It’s statistically astounding.”

“What are you doing?” the draconequus inched toward the edge of her seat a little more, heart ramming wildly in her chest. She tried to keep up her current façade, but the urge to dart away was becoming unexpectedly powerful. “Why are you following me?”

“I think the better question is,” she lowered her voice a little as she leaned forward, a silky sheen rolling down her glasses as she did so. “The question is, why in the world are you on a train to Canterlot at this time of the morning?”

“I asked first!” Eris’s voice rose an octave, but still the mare did not flinch.

“You have an odd cut on your lip,” she pointed out. “Akin to a bite mark, if I’m not mistaken, recent as well. Your mane is disheveled, you’re clearly out of sorts, and jumpier than a rabbit in a bag of dogs.”

Eris didn’t really have anything to say to her after that.

Yolk White peacefully removed her glasses, magically dusting them before replacing them on the bridge of her muzzle. The slow, deliberate actions she had been making the entire time took Eris a painfully long while to recognize, but she was quietly proud of herself that she did so, and a little more creeped out at the same time.

Yolk was displaying the same behavior one might when cornering a potentially dangerous animal.

Which meant that she considered her dangerous, and that gave Eris a foothold.

“I’m going home,” Eris responded after what felt like an eternity of silence.

“I see,” was all Yolk said before returning to her paper.

“You still didn’t say why you’re following me.”

“You didn’t explain your present condition.”

“You didn’t deny stalking me.”

Yolk gave her an odd half-frown, emerald eyes narrowing slightly behind her glasses.

Neither of them dared break the wretched silence that bound the odd pair together.

The train rumbled across the tracks as it had done for years, and it was reminiscent of such in the creaks and moans of the gargantuan machine as it careened faster and faster to their destination, yet at the same time seemed so terribly slow that time itself could have been standing still and none would have been the wiser.

“… Been raining for an awfully long time now,” Yolk said slowly and deliberately.

“Yeah.” Eris remarked, as unwilling to leave to another compartment as she was to stay. “Kind of…”

“Peculiar?”

“That’s it.”

“You know…” Yolk began in a friendly tone. “If there’s ever anyth-”

“Screw you,” she snapped. “I’m not playing your game.”

“Have you considered that you may be suffering from bi-polar episodes?” Doctor White asked calmly, that same slightly slanted, watchful gaze never dropping from behind her impenetrable horn rimmed glasses.

“I don’t have to take this!” Eris barked angrily, lurching from her seat. Several sets of eyes that had already been latched onto the draconequus focused even more intently, and the number of watchers grew by the instant. “Just-just stay away from me, alright?!”

She wasted no time in departing from the tram, jerkily slamming the door behind her as she finally escaped her unwavering emerald gaze.

Yolk watched the spot she had been for a long moment, unconcerned about the stares still upon her.

Very similar to her father, that one. Even if she didn’t realize it.

Yolk opened her briefcase and popped out a small quill and worn pad before scribbling a single note on it, locking it all back up within a span of moments. She did not particularly care much for Discord one way or another, regardless of his requests or promises. Even should she continue against her better judgment, he was to be trusted about as much as his spawn. He would hold up his end of the deal. hopefully.

He was a devious one, to be sure.

0-0-0-0-0

Past the guards, past the maids. Through the halls and over the floors, silent and stealthy as the night itself.

Not even the most attentive of the small patrols spotted the slim shadow lurking behind the enormous ornamental pillars. None noticed the little book wielding frame slipping this way and that, prowling just out of sight.

That was just the way he liked it.

So close now… so close…!

The thrumming behind William’s ears was so loud, so painfully present that it left his own mind in a little fog. But the princess had his trust. She guided him, showed him the path where no others could see. It was because he was special to her, he knew it.

Almost there, he thought dimly, more out of reaction than actual contemplation. There was no time for thinking anymore. Only action. Only time to serve. He had to.

Bu the doubt remained, deep within his mind.

No longer did he have to write in the book in order for Princess Luna to respond. They were closer now.

Bound in blood.

Murderer.

Her thoughts, her instructions, her very intent he could feel. Coursing through his veins, William was an instrument of her will. An extension. It felt wonderful.

But that still didn’t remove the doubt. The doubt that maybe, just maybe he had done something wrong. He was reassured that the pegasus’s sacrifice was necessary. Of course it was. She was in the way, she had to go. It had to be done for the greater good, to save someone more important. Of course. That creeping guilt of his sins still clung to him, regardless of how hard he tried to leave them behind as he silently leapt from one shadow to the next. Nimbly, swiftly. Trailing along behind the chatting guards, completely undetected.

His mind was pried away by the urgent pull of Luna’s will. Her objective, her desires pulling so powerfully at him through the book he still held close to his chest as if it could keep them together as tightly as the pages. They were inconsequential as well as unthreatening. Golden weapons and armor were frail, easily broken.

Besides, the nighttime patrol was unwittingly escorting him exactly to where he needed to go. Not that he needed them in the first place – the princess’s flowing thoughts mingling with his own were guide enough, as if he had known this castle all his life. Even then he could still sense it through her. He could feel it in his bones.

It only served as further conviction.

Almost there now…

William danced lithely through the shadows, keeping to the wall and darting along behind them at an uncanny speed.

“-so I says to ‘er, I says ‘darling, you ain’t fooling nopony, you’re as fat as the day we met!”

“Ha! You shouldn’ta done that, Vol, you shouldn’ta done that!”

“Hey, I know, eh?” one of the guards rubbed his eye as they walked. “Whatev’, I’ll see ‘er next week.”

No, you won’t.

William watched them saunter away, finally holding his place behind one of the pillars. The strong sensation kneading his thoughts toward them was so nearby that he could almost hear it. The enormous engraved oaken doors, gilded with a hundred images certainly belied the opulence of the princess’s chambers. But even without such an obvious display, he still would have known. Through Luna, he could feel it. They could feel it.

Yes… yes…!

He crept in absolute silence to the chamber doors, a faint, slightly familiar tingling sensation prickling his palm when he touched it. A single command rose from within, instructing him to do as he had practiced. The protective barrier that covered the door was powerful – incredibly so, strong enough to ward off even the mightiest of magic. It was old magic, that he could feel.

And also only protecting the door.

William smirked, kneeling and placing a single hand against the cool, smooth wall beside the gargantuan door. He didn’t even have to summon up anything at all, Luna was already intently channeling numerous hexes through his fingertips. He felt it worm through the stone with ease, slithering to the other side and gently, noiselessly bending to her will.

His satisfied smirk grew as the enchanted oak doors swung quietly inward, providing him entrance. William wordlessly locked it behind him, the barricade safely cutting off all remaining noise as his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

SO CLOSE, SO CLOSE! YES! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

The thrumming, intense drumbeat of commands inside his head urged him onward, creeping like a mouse over the cold marble floor. He felt almost like a ghost, a phantom in a dream shifting this way and that toward the luxurious four poster bed.

Or, more importantly, the little glass stand next to her bedside table.

That part actually gave William pause for a moment.

She keeps it next to her bed…?

The thought of someone like Princess Celestia seemingly being so careless with an object so powerful baffled him a little. The dimly glowing orb cast little flickering shadows close to the bed, dying out the further they reached. He tucked the book closely against his chest inside his shirt, keeping it as close as possible. Then again, perhaps it was a good idea to keep a container that held the soul of an immortal reality bender closest to one of the most powerful beings in Equestria. Behind a magically locked door. With guard patrols routinely-

No, still stupid.

William snatched it without further hesitation, hardly able to contain his excitement.

Or was it her excitement? He couldn’t really be sure. All he was absolutely aware of was Princess Luna’s triumphant caw resounding through his mind, reverberating through him. But that was dwarfed in comparison to the electric surge of energy crackling at his fingertips, flowing easily from the crystal orb and into his body. He had always held Princess Luna in such high regards, especially for her magical prowess. She always seemed so strong, so competent; her power was like a river, wild and huge.

But the little sphere?

It was an ocean. An ocean, the land and the sky in between. It was incomprehensibly immense.

“IT IS MINE!”

Time seemed very slow to William. He heard his overjoyed laughter as his free hand slapped the alabaster alicorn wide awake. A couple strands of brightly colored mane were still stuck to her face, sleep lines from her pillow complimenting her befuddled frown the moment before she realized just who he was and what he was holding. And, to her credit, it was probably one of the last things she’d ever expect. There was sleepy fear in her eyes. Recognition. But mostly, confusion.

“… Luna?”

And then she was liquefied.

It was a swift, noiseless exhibition of power, and completely unceremonious. It left William reeling a bit from just how quickly it happened. How utterly remorseless it had been. He wasn’t completely sure if it bothered him or not.

It was then that Princess Luna made a mistake.

William likely would have continued mulling this over, completely unaware of just how very little control over his own body that he had. Watching his arms and legs sway this way and that as Luna commandeered his body into jubilant cheers. However, the tide turned back on him.

Within a split second, many things occurred at once.

Firstly, William felt himself abruptly (and quite painfully) separated from the warmth of Princess Luna’s being. Immediately afterwards he could feel something terrible, something dark and cold tearing at him from the inside out; with the same kind of remorseless fury that had blasted the princess only moments before, now trying to gnaw him apart. Cutting, biting him with intent.

However, William was still very well connected to the little glowing sphere that they held, and snipping off a branch from a tree of unfathomable chaos takes slightly larger equipment than pruning shears.

William bit back.

0-0-0-0-0

I’m drowning.

William floated over the floor, his feet making not a single noise as he drifted like a phantom down the halls. The book had long since been left behind, or at least what smoking embers remained of it. His senses seemed strangely dulled, almost as if he were walking through a dream. It was such a calming, bizarre feeling. No emotion, no sensation beyond sight and sound, albeit blunted and dimmed. The horrified screams as each wave of panicking guards didn’t even seem to phase him, regardless of how many joined the ranks of the steadily growing ocean of inky black goo. One of the pegasi scrambling away from him crashed roughly into his fellow, the terrified clanging of one set of gilded armor meeting another barely even registering as noise – similar to the shrieks.

William looked down at the soldier he didn’t even know; a stallion with his first few flecks of grey mane amongst the black, all pride stricken from his once cheerful face and replaced with a speechless horror.

He spared no thought whatsoever as the stallion was liquefied as well.

The energy he sensed within the stallion as his flesh literally melted away in less than an instant remained. William could feel the dim resonance sliding away in the sea of black, growing along with the others splattered across the floor, over the wall. Some small part of him had difficulty keeping his eye on the growing mass; he found the entire ordeal a bit distasteful. But what was the importance of that? What was the importance of any of them anymore? They might as well have been ants for as easily as they were brushed away. Just dust in the wind.

Or rather, goo on the floor.

SISTER!

William felt the words deeply, almost painfully inside his head. It was Princess Luna’s voice, no doubt; but it was louder than he had ever heard it, too brash and angry. So surprised, so full of shock and anger.

The wobbling ocean that he stepped across parted slightly for the stunned princess, sleep lines still on her face as the understanding sank in.

“Are you still attempting to comprehend?”

Luna stood with bared teeth, hot tears streaming down her cheeks as she forced her blurred vision on the slowly floating boy a mere yard away from her in the once beautiful hall, now stained black and gold with the abandoned remnants of armor here and there. Slivers of ink still squirmed over a couple of dropped spears, as if some fight could still be waged by ghosts that no one saw.

She stared at the boy who wasn’t. She stared at him long and hard.

The immense amount of power flowing freely now through the gradually dimming orb in his hand was beginning to overpower her senses from the sheer enormity of it.

“… Why?”

William didn’t seem to have an answer for her.

He didn’t move, either; he simply stood there, staring at her.

“… Why?”

After what felt like forever, he blinked.

“Are you still attempting to comprehend?” he repeated expressionlessly. “You lost.”

Princess Luna’s stance remained unchanged. A single glow arose from the tip of her horn, but she seemed to be struggling to even do that much.

“Your plan didn’t work. You lost,” William stated again, as if he could make it clearer by saying it again.

“What are you talking about?!” she screamed at him, the spark rippling over her horn glowing more brightly.

“You… you lost,” he said again. “That means it’s over. You didn’t win. You lost.”

“Why did you do this?” Luna demanded viciously, magically clearing a swath through the pooling darkness around her as she strode toward him with intent. “Why did you murder them?”

“I didn’t kill them.”

The bluntness of his words was enough. She could hear the sincerity.

If anything, this only made her feel even more sick. Channeling everything she had in one violent surge scarred the entire hallway with burning energy, the split second of blinding moonlight radiating from within.

Her scream of fury went almost unheard as she joined her sister.

0-0-0-0-0

… It feels… like I’m suffocating in memories.

Drowning. Drowning in them. All too old. It’s not the same. I want to go back.

I want to go back.

I want to go back.

I want to go back.

Rain within, rain without.

It felt like the rain would never end.

Rainwater that wasn’t there dripped over his knuckles and down to his fingertip, trailing like molasses in a rivulet down to the floor where it pooled in a little black puddle that turned back on itself and fell up again. His only free hand weaved in and out of the conjured inky water over and over.

In the other, he held a small, dimly glowing crystal sphere.

William watched it for a while, hypnotized. It was soothing, sometimes, to watch the rain.

And it rained in similar fashions all over the throne room, shadowy puddles and rivers slithering this way and that across the ceilings and walls, upside down and inside out and across each other so that the top was the side and forward currents ran backwards in a perplexingly complex and rhythmic manner.

And yet, for all the motion and noise of the trickles of black streams laying like quivering webbing across the room, for all the life in the shadows, William sat all alone in the throne room. He tried sitting in the regal gilded throne itself for a while, and found it far too uncomfortable no matter how he sat. Instead he opted to sit beside the throne and lean his back against it, trying to find comfort. It was not to be found there either, nor on the steps before the throne. He had really been making a conscious effort to make himself contented, and continuously failing to do so was only heightening the anxiety.

But the rain pouring throughout the enormous high-ceilinged hall never seemed to solve the problem. However, if he listened to the sound for long enough, it almost seemed like it could.

Almost.

“Dude, what the hell.”

The stunned draconequus’s jaw dangled wide as she pressed cautiously into the sopping wet throne room, eyes flickering through the darkness to see. Eris slipped through the enormous double doors as a cascading black stream splashed barely a foot away from her, splattering across the floor and winding back on itself in a Mobius strip before flowing back up to the ceiling to do the same again. Eris was careful to keep firm footing on the damp floor and avoiding the large black puddles; and oddly, the moment she shied away from them each miniature bog did the same, slipping and dripping away to reveal a small path directly into the dark ahead of her.

“Hello?” Eris cupped her mouth and called as loudly as she could. Her voice felt muffled and weak in her ears, but something in the distance stirred. “There’s, uh… there seems to be some kind of a mess! I swear, it’s not my fault!”

The path on the floor grew smaller and thinner as the veritable obsidian ocean pooled around her and literally landlocked her in. The path shrank steadily, almost as if indicating that she was expected to move forward. And as she did so, it didn’t take long to discover why Celestia’s royal throne room was in such a sorry state.

William sat with his knees curled up to his chest next to the throne, staring vacantly at her as she approached. Eris advanced only as much as she had to before the pitch-black liquid swirling around her cloven hooves gave her just enough room to walk, her face expressionless as she loomed over the boy.

“… Will, ‘the hell is going on.”

“I found where the princess was keeping the receptacle that housed the essence of your entity,” William responded breathlessly, steadily fingering the ruddily glowing crystal orb. The light that seeped through his fingers seemed so dull that it almost appeared as if it would go out at a moment’s notice. It was stunningly familiar, and considering that it happened to be the same sphere she had been required to empty her very being into caused quite a few angry emotions to come to broil.

“… What.”

“Your power,” William caught her gaze. Much to her surprise his irises were clearly the same color of brown that they had always been. She had fully expected from his slouched, fatigued position and weak voice that his eyes would be abnormal or eerie looking; the fact that they were just the same as always seemed to unnerve her just a tad more than it would have otherwise.

William’s eyes flicked toward the soupy mass of black liquid seeping across the throne room, the flurry of it all distracting him.

“… Will,” Eris shifted uneasily. “… When did this happen?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “Probably somewhere in between where I broke into Princess Celestia’s private chambers and when the person I trusted most in the whole world betrayed me and tried to eat me. So there’s that.”

“Dude,” Eris shied away once again from the murky depths that seemed just a bit too eager to become acquainted with her. “This is fucking nuts.”

“I know,” William peered up at her with his fist tucked neatly beneath his chin, as if absolutely nothing were out of the ordinary. “Everyone in the whole world is insane. Everybody but me.”

“Where-where is everybody?” Eris asked at last.

“Gone.”

“Gone… where?”

“Gone.”

“… Oh.”

William shifted over just a tiny bit beside the empty throne, looking at her almost as if it were an invitation.

“… Will, we have to go home.”

“Home?” he spat bitterly, curling him his hands beneath his knees and withdrawing even further. His face contorted angrily for a few seconds, first in anger, then sorrow, and fitfully to emptiness. “There’s no place for people like us, Eris. I am literally a god now, and to be honest? Not all it’s cracked up to be.”

“Look,” she started to reach out for him awkwardly. Eris clenched her paw midway, drawing it tightly to her side. “Look. Willy. I know what you’re going through right now-”

“My name is WILLIAM!”

The entire room shuddered and quivered as if an enormous earthquake were trying to shake it apart, but if Eris was surprised she didn’t show it.

“William,” she said after the tempest began to rescind. “Dude. Just trust me when I say that I‘ve been in your shoes, I know exactly what you’re dealing with. And-and even though things might look a little–” Eris looked feebly around the nearly demolished throne room, watching as a pillar cracked nearly in half horizontally as winding liquid wrapped up its spine. “–rough right now, I promise things are-are going to get-”

“What?” William stared at her with a mixture of sullenness and hostility. “Better?” he stood up at last, drawing himself to his full height. He strode directly up to her, hardly meeting her chest even when standing as straight as possible. To say that he was frustrated was an understatement.

“We can fix this!” Eris said optimistically, forcing a smile. “I mean, you’re probably going through some changes that could be blamed on puberty or sommat-”

“I killed Fluttershy.”

Eris did not seem to have an answer for that.

Her false smile froze hard on her face, slowly cracking the longer that he focused that drained, empty stare on her. She really wished that his eyes had taken on the same appearance as the goopy sustenance around them for a minute. The way he was looking at her then was… too much. Too real. Too human. Too emotional. There was just something off about the eyes that she finally managed to put her finger on.

And in the instant that she recognized it, her entire perception shifted so sharply that it might have cut her. The ambient fear and dread that had been welling up in her faded away, the sick wrenching in her gut subsiding at last. She felt like a fool for not recognizing such a look right away. But perhaps it had been too long since she’d really taken a good stare at a look like that, too long since she’d even realized it for what it really was.

Remorse.

“I… killed F-Fluttershy,” William admitted at last, his voice frail and slow, like even the declaration was a struggle in and of itself. “I d-didn’t even n-need to. It didn’t help me at all. There was n-no purpose. No reason. I just… did it.”

Eris’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times before settling on the latter.

“One of the only people in the world that actually gave a damn about anyp-pony, and…”

“… Jesus, Will-” Eris woefully started to reach for him again, only for the boy to jerk away. She once again withdrew, paw clenched in a tight fist against her side where it shook vigorously.

“Do you remember what you said to me?” William asked miserably, his hollow gaze meeting her confused and hurt one. “You said that Father – that Discord – considered this the best of all possible worlds.”

“… Yeah.”

William took a deep breath through his nostrils, only staring for a moment before collapsing into the throne. His head held in his palms, he didn’t look up for a long time. Eris only stood there, and he could feel every single second of judgmental silence that she was steadily crushing him with.

“This world is… cruel,” William tried to explain, the words failing to come to him eloquently as he wished them to. “Unfit. Unfair. Unjust. If this is really, really the best of all possible worlds, then-then… maybe I don’t want to be a part of it. And maybe that's just life for everybody. Sometimes people do bad things for bad reasons. Sometimes the people you want to come back never even give you a second glance. Maybe I don’t deserve to be a part of it. I know I don’t. I don’t deserve to belong.”

It was an arduously long, long time before Eris even moved.

She moved slowly and deliberately, kneeling down right in front of William so that they were at eye level. With one talon placed loosely on his shoulder, Eris spoke at last.

“… Come on. Come back with me, Will.”

And for a moment, from the pained, downright needing mournful stare that he gave, she almost believed that he would.

Almost.

“No.”

William brushed her off with a firm hand, the dully glowing crystal still in the other. Eris momentarily considered simply grabbing him by the shoulder and showing him the error of his ways.

“… No, Eris,” he said when an uncomfortably extensive stretch of silence weighed in upon them. William took her paw in his free hand, holding it over his upturned one. “No. You come with me.”

“Where to?” she blinked.

The powers of chaos are a fickle and mysterious thing, even to one that wields them.

Especially to whomever wields them. Discord had taught her that much very well.

Ergo, when the whole world dripped away in a span of seconds to leave the pair standing only on a vast, empty expanse of whiteness, Eris couldn’t say that she was stunned into silence.

She did manage a rather surprised gurgly cough.

Whiteness so blinding that for a few instants Eris couldn’t even see herself enveloped them. An eternity and more of it, stretching on for ever and ever and ever.

William stared into the abyss unblinkingly, hands tucked inflexibly into his pockets. He turned to look up at her expectantly, and she expected sadness – regret, mourning, sympathy of any sort – but instead William only looked at her with an empty expression and a curious tilt to his head. As if he were expecting something more from her, as if he were waiting on her to just get it already and she was failing terribly.

“… William. I can’t do this. Please. Let’s just go home. We both want to just go home, so let’s go home. Okay?” her eyes were stinging and for some reason a golf ball seemed to have mysteriously lodged itself in her throat. She knew exactly what he meant, no matter how hard she tried to deny it.

“I am, Eris,” he answered softly, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together softly as if he could feel something between them. “I want to go home. But I don’t belong there anymore. Maybe I never did.”

He turned and walked into the whiteness. He walked right on, and no matter how badly Eris wanted to bring him back she just couldn’t bring herself to follow him.

And with that, William Zachariah Klaskovsky ceased to exist.

0-0-0-0-0

Prologue

“Yeah, well, so is your mother!”

Rainbow Dash blew a raspberry at the agitated draconequus, who glowered at her over Fluttershy’s breakfast table.

“Fluttershy,” Discord whined after a moment, curling into the air whilst balancing on the tip of his tail. “Dashie is being mean to me again!”

“Oh, both of you, be polite. Um, I mean, if-if that’s okay with you, that is,” Fluttershy poured each of her friends fresh cups of tea, balancing the hot kettle between her hooves carefully.

“Hey, he started it!” Rainbow Dash crossed her hooves grumpily, scowling at Discord. He only presented himself with a toothy, lopsided grin. “You didn’t see what he was making the creamer and sugar cubes do to each other!”

Discord’s leer only grew.

“And I’m sure he’s very, very sorry,” Fluttershy replied automatically without really listening. After all, it wasn’t like this was the first time that Discord had animated household objects for his own amusement.

“Am not!” Discord slouched in his seat, crossing his arms together frumpily.

“See?!” Dash almost shouted. “Your pet hasn’t changed a bit!”

“Don’t be silly,” Fluttershy shook her head. “He’s not a pet. And besides, poor Discord is probably just still upset that Angel Bunny got away with stuffing a carrot in his nose before he woke up this morning.”

“Didn’t get away with it,” the draconequus grumbled almost unintelligibly, but Dash heard him.

Then again, she hadn’t seen Angel at all that day…

“Ah-ha!” Dash jabbed a hoof in his direction accusatorially, displaying the culprit in triumph. “He killed Angel, didn’t he?”

“W-what?” Fluttershy sputtered in confusion. Discord held up his paw and talon in protest of his innocence, but the enormous smile never left his face.

“Of course I didn’t,” he cackled, turning upside down in his chair and sipping the tea from the cup as it poured backwards through the air. “See, Fluttershy? Little Dashie’s just trying to get me in trouble again. She is just so mean. We would be better off without her.”

Fluttershy opened her mouth to tell off her housemate for saying something so dreadful; at least, until she spotted a clearly angry rabbit tugging at her tail, trying to get her attention.

One that had been dyed a vibrantly bright pink, to be specific.

“Of all the colors, Discord; pink? Really?” Fluttershy groaned in exasperation, rubbing her temples. All she wanted was just one quiet morning with her friends.

Discord’s grin grew so big that it almost fell off of his face from the sheer weight.

“Told you he didn’t get away with it. As if I were some wanton murderer,” he taunted the infuriated Rainbow Dash. Dash felt a heat rising in her cheeks, which only made him laugh harder.

“You just think you’re so great, don’t you, jerk bag?” Rainbow Dash scowled hatefully at the draconequus, who had righted himself in his seat and pushed his paw and talon together to form a steeple. He gave Dash a level, serious look, which seemed even more bizarre than his usual goofy expressions.

“Yes. Yes, I do,” Discord stated bluntly. “I am, quite literally, a living god. I do hope you’ll pardon me for temporarily rising above my lowly station, oh great and magnificent pegasus,” he spat sardonically.

“… Fluttershy, Discord is being mean to me again!”

Fluttershy, however, was no longer at the table, having attempted to drag Angel off in the hopes of scrubbing the pink out of his fur.

Discord showed so many teeth that Dash was a little surprised he could fit them all in his mouth.

“Forget this,” Rainbow Dash furrowed her brows as she flung the contents of her cup in Discord’s direction. With a single snap of his talons the watery missile morphed into a stream of colorful butterflies, which instantly assaulted the stunned pegasus. Rainbow Dash spat hysterically as they swarmed her head, flailing this way and that as fine china and tableware was kicked across the room.

“Discord!” Fluttershy poked her head back in to scold him, which hardly seemed to penetrate his shield of hearty chuckles. “Don’t antagonize her, you’re making a mess of my kitchen!”

“AGH-PGTHATHFAGLAGLE!” Rainbow Dash agreed through a mouthful of butterflies as she struggled to pull herself up from the floor.

“Me? Antagonist?” Discord held a talon up to his chest defensively. “Puh-lease, I could never pull it off.”

“OH CELESTIA THEY’RE IN MY NOSE!”

Fluttershy gave one forlorn look between them before sighing heavily, shaking her head as she attended to her rascally rabbit.

“Hold that thought for me?” Discord asked sweetly as he leaned over the table. “I need to take care of something.”

Rainbow Dash said something very rude, which Discord pretended not to hear as he vanished with a snap of his talons.

“… So.”

“Yep.”

Eris watched a cheerfully quacking duck waddle through the pond to join its brethren, the warm sunshine rippling across them as they splashed in front of a screeching foal and her previously relaxing parents.

“Not that this conversation hasn’t been absolutely riveting,” Eris muttered at last, arms clenched tightly to one another. “But you’re kind of being, you know… that opposite of helpful.”

“… What do you want me to say, hon?” Discord leaned back against the park bench beside her, no one even throwing them a sidelong glance. “He made his choice.”

“So… so that’s it then,” she fought hard to keep her voice from cracking, despite how maddeningly difficult it was becoming. The frothing anger that had been boiling in her belly threatened to burst from her chest the longer she held it back, and the hotter the fires seemed to stoke. “So-so that’s just it!”

She seethed violently, wrathfully slamming one fist into her palm.

“I looked, and looked, and looked, and-and he wasn’t anywhere he should have been, not in any- I mean, he should have at least – I mean, in every single – gone. Gone! Just… gone! And that’s just it?!

Her hands clenched in viciously shaking balls, Eris felt quite a bit like hitting something, and Discord seemed to be the perfect candidate. Before she could make her move, though, Discord’s paw found its way to her shoulder to pull her into a quiet hug. It became a tiny bit more difficult to remain as boiling furious that way, but Eris certainly tried. She wanted to scream at him, she wanted to thrash and rage and vent all her anger at him even though she knew full well that the urge felt just as childish as she could picture, and it wouldn’t help at all. Eventually, however, the rage began to give way to a heavy weariness, and it was all too quick to set in again.

They sat in silence for a while in the shade of the old tree, just watching the ducks go by.

Eris sniffled miserably, wiping her nose with one elbow.

The shadows swayed and danced in the breeze, but the sun did not move for a long time from the picture perfect scene. It was serene, peaceful for the longest time that they sat together overlooking the little pond. It didn’t solve the problem, though.

“Have you ever heard of… quantum suicide?” Discord began at last with some difficulty, looking down at Eris.

“Hm?”

“Quantum suicide,” he said again, twirling one talon around in his paw. “You know. Survival no matter the odds, regardless of how impossible they might seem.”

“I’m familiar with it,” Eris answered softly, not turning her gaze from the pond.

“There are things even gods can’t do, Eris.”

They didn’t talk any more after that. Not for a long time. Neither of them really would have either way. Eris hugged him around the torso at last, head against his chest.

And even the God of Chaos himself broke down and cried right along with her.

0-0-0-0-0

At The Mountains Of Madness

0-0-0-0-0

Tak. Tak. Tak. Tak.

Nurses’ shoes clapping hard against the linoleum. Painfully bright fluorescent lights. The overpowering scent of disinfectant and cleaning solution.

He hated hospitals.

He hated everything about them.

He drifted like a phantom over the floor, unseen. Unnoticed. Unheard.

Even the ones that walked right by him paid absolutely no attention to him, like he wasn’t even there. Maybe he really wasn’t.

Tak. Tak. Tak. Tak.

Even though he knew for certain they couldn’t see him, he still couldn’t help but avoid the busy people nonetheless. It felt like someone was watching him, and he didn’t like it. Invisible, ephemeral, through one wall after the next; it didn’t matter that he could have simply been elsewhere with a snap of his fingers. He wanted to keep moving. He needed to keep moving.

It was imperative that he never stop. If he stopped, he’d focus his attention elsewhere on things he didn’t want to. Like thinking. More specifically, about anything.

William pushed through layer after layer of concrete, through the next and the next. What felt like forever, until the natural light gently caressing his face felt like breaking the surface of a pool. Toward through the wall without tearing it, continuing along without even breaking stride.

Just keep going. It wasn’t so much a thought as it was a central drive that all of his focus remained on.

For god’s sake, just ever stop.

And he kept on going.

For how long, he didn’t know.

He’d told him everything he could, the memory was still fresh in his mind. It didn’t help get anything off of his chest. If anything he felt worse than before.

The cycle of day and night reoccurred numerous times; of how many, he was uncertain. Time didn’t matter anymore, nor did the almost instantaneously changing scenery. It was irrelevant as well.

William wasn’t quite certain what caused him to stop.

The cheerful noise of children playing met his ears. Children his own size seemed to run right past him on the playground, but he felt so much bigger than all of them. Too large.

With a long, unheard weary sigh, William finally sank into one of the worn wooden benches and watched them all, hands folded loosely in his lap as his mind was allowed to wander at last. He didn’t particularly like where it led him, but he was simply too tired to try anymore. He sat there for a long time. He watched children come and go for a while, simply listening to the chaos of rampant children. One of them continuously checked over in his direction, oddly looking right at him. A girl hardly his own age, bright blond hair up in wildly flapping pigtails. Again and again she looked right at him, through him before eventually wandering away with her happily chatting friends.

Perhaps he had only been there for a moment, or maybe he had been there all along, but William was slow to make the sudden realization that he was not sitting alone.

“… You found me.”

“I didn’t know you were playing hide and go seek,” Discord replied lazily. Tail draped languidly over the bench behind him, Discord sat oddly stiff next to the boy with his arms loosely crossed.

“I didn’t want to be found,” William answered quietly.

They sat in silence for a little while longer. William couldn’t quite bring himself to look at the draconequus.

“I… er-hem,” Discord cleared his throat. “Eris was pretty torn up after you ran away.”

“It seems like I do that a lot these days. Running away, I mean.”

He wasn’t quite sure if William was really listening or just responding out of habit.

“I should have figured you’d come here. Back to this old place,” the draconequus gestured toward the orphanage’s fenced in playground.

“I don’t recognize anyone here,” William’s voice was slightly distraught. “I don’t know what I expected.”

“Yeah.”

Again silence fell.

Discord seemed to hate it even more than William did, shifting this way and that in discomfort.

“… Sixty-five years?” William breathed at last.

“It has been a bit-”

“That’s a long time to keep someone like that,” he watched a vibrant orange beach ball become the victim of a jealous group of children. “I mean… god.”

“You must have gone through quite a bit to find him,” Discord coughed into his hand.

“Not really. Just a few paper trails,” William's dead stare ahead was unbroken. “Quadriplegic. Total paralysis. For sixty-five years. And you made sure he suffered every goddamn day.”

Discord grew inordinately stiff.

He didn’t speak. He didn’t even look at him for the longest time.

“… He was conscious when I found him. I don’t know if he was really even there anymore though,” William explained quietly. “I sat with him. You know. That shell of flesh that used to be my biological father.”

Still Discord said nothing.

“I don’t think anyp-anyone had even talked to him for… for a long time,” he continued. “So I talked to him. I don’t know if he heard me. I told him all about home. How everything was going. I told him about mother. And you. And Eris, and Miss Pie, and Scootaloo and everyone. I told him everything I could about home. I wanted him to know what kind of person I turned out to be.”

“… And?”

“And… then I smothered him.”

“… I know.”

The silence was the worst.

“I’m not sorry. I’m angry that you deliberately kept Neil alive without telling anyone.”

“I didn’t figure you would be,” Discord shrugged with a tired sigh.

“He didn’t deserve to stay like that. Nobody should have to suffer like that.”

“You aren’t really in a position to judge,” Discord snapped at last, the anger and bitterness clear in his voice. “Do you even have the slightest damned inkling of what I’ve gone through? For your sake? Do you?”

William squirmed uncomfortably under his suddenly hot gaze. He tried to look at the other children, at the bench, at his shoelaces. Anything else aside from his angry, disappointed eyes.

“A lot, to paraphrase,” Discord said after a stretch of awkward silence. “A whole lot. More than you could possibly imagine. What I do in my spare time is nobody’s business but my own. William.”

Hands clasped neatly in his lap, his gaze stayed firmly on the suddenly interesting spot between his feet.

“… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t give me that.”

“I am,” William sniffled miserably, his shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t change anything. But I am. I just want things to be right again,” he struggled, his voice straining. “I just want…! I want…!”

He clenched his hands at the air again and again, grasping at something invisible.

“I don’t know what I want!” William blurted angrily, fighting back a sudden stinging sensation in his eyes as he felt the draconequus watching him. “I don’t know! I don’t know! I don’t… I-I don’t… know…” he trailed off weakly. “I’m sorry. Oh god, I’m such a monster. I guess it really does run in the family,” he gave a bitter bark. “I have a kill count now.”

“That happens,” Discord breathed, one talon rubbing his temple. “Surprisingly often.”

“Don’t make it sound so arbitrary,” William huffed tearily. “First Fluttershy, now this…”

Discord jerked suddenly, surprising him.

“Say that again?”

“I don’t want to,” he sniffed. “I’m such a-”

“Say it again!” William flinched when the draconequus grabbed him roughly by the shoulders. “Again, say it again!”

“I-I’m sorry!” he cringed.

“Not that!” the urgency in Discord’s voice was apparent, his red eyes wider than he had ever seen them. “How many did you say again?”

“H-how-”

“How many people did you kill?!”

“Two! Two!” William flailed, unable to free himself from Discord’s mantic grasp.

“Then you’re wrong,” Discord rose with renewed vigor, dragging William along roughly by the wrist.

“What?”

“You’re wrong!” he informed him gleefully. “This changes everything!”

“… What? Wh-”

A blonde girl with twin pigtails watched the strange shimmer in the air where something very unusual had occurred. A single dusty vehicle passed by on the street, the sounds of the city muffled by the enclosed buildings shielding them.

Something odd, that was certain. Something not quite noticeable, like when something is right on the tip of the tongue. Something peculiar.

And so she followed.

It took less than a hint of a shadow of a fraction of a millisecond for them to vanish into thin air.

“-ere are you taking me?”

William blinked as Discord’s unbreakable grip fell away, an almost unbearably golden reflection blinding him. The sudden scenery change had been unexpected, and it took a moment for William to try to understand what had happened. He had seen a number of rather unlikely and impossible things since achieving godhood, but this was the most unbelievable out of all of them.

Before him stood a gargantuan golden statue of Discord himself.

It was large, to say the least; incomprehensibly so. It stretched so high up into the sky that he couldn’t see the top – and what he thought at first was the sky turned out to the an enormous domed ceiling of some even more massive structure. Huge black and white checkered tiles made up the floor, winding over to one wall and disappearing into a thick wall of yellow prickly vines. What looked like a minibus over a mile long was driven by a whole parade of Discords, nearly all identical. A couple of floating cotton candy clouds drifted by, occasionally shooting out quick rivets of chocolate rain and candied lightning bolts to unfortunate passersby. Explosions of light and sound emanated from nearly every direction, each one attracting his attention. The sky-ceiling broiled and shifted, showing the ground beneath them, and the bottom of an ocean, and the surface of a sun and a tray of muffins.

There was simply so much happening all at once, it was so overwhelming that it took William a while to realize that the happily shrieking figure shaking him was not, in fact, the specter of death in the shape of a banshee.

“Oh my god, William!” Eris swung the boy back and forth in her iron grasp, his feet not even touching the floor. “Ohmigodohmigodohmigod I thought I’d never see you again, I thought you were gone forever and I looked and looked but I couldn’t find you and I thought you were gone but now you’re not you’re here, you’re here and you’re not gone and ohmigodohmigodohmigod!”

“Can’t… breathe…!” William struggled uselessly, unable to pry himself safely from her grip.

“Where did you find him?” Eris asked Discord breathlessly, overtaken with joy. “How?”

“You’d be surprised,” Discord responded dryly, apparently unperturbed by the surrounding chaos. “Things have changed.”

“And?” Eris asked, leaving William utterly baffled.

“What are you two talking about?” he finally managed to free himself from Eris’s arms, looking around at the impossible surroundings. They shared a single look before promptly ignoring him.

“He doesn’t still have to go, does he?” she asked quickly, not hiding her trepidation well.

“Go where?”

“I’m afraid so,” Discord nodded, crossing his mismatched arms and beginning a steady march in a seemingly random direction, the pair following him. “The council’s word was given.”

“Council? What council?” William stepped quickly on one side of him. “Council of what? Where are we?”

“But won’t they…?” Eris started uneasily.

“Willie said he killed two people,” Discord nodded. William shifted uneasily, but kept up the pace. To where, he didn’t know. They passed what appeared to be an upside down tree made out of a billion other trees, spinning in a circle. “Just two. Right?”

“Er…” William cleared his throat, uncertain of what to do with the attention he suddenly had now that he had it. “I-yes. Two. Not, um… not counting all the… people in the castle…”

“Oh – so that’s where everybody went to,” Eris scratched her chin thoughtfully.

“I mean, not technically dead,” William added quickly. “They were still alive in their primordial forms. Technically.”

“THAT SHIT WAS PEOPLE?!”

“He still has to be brought before the Council regardless,” Discord explained as they passed through a massive silver archway, which was suddenly in front of them again and again with nothing behind. “And believe me, the Council is pissed.”

William paled considerably, a plethora of terrible worries all striking him at once.

“Try not to worry about it too much,” Discord reassured him. “I was going to have to bring you here anyway. Just make sure that you tell them exactly what you told me and not think about the eternal suffering you’ll be enduring if you make them angry.”

“Wait, what?”

Discord was, quite possibly, the most serious he had ever seen him. Even the previously cheerful Eris was worried and grim. A nasty thought occurred to him as a literal stream of Discords drifted by.

There was a multitude of Discords. All over the place.

How could he even be sure the one leading him toward something he knew nothing about even be the right one?

Eris seemed to catch onto his worry, one paw firmly on his shoulder as they guided him over a bridge which somehow went up a wall and looped back on itself to another archway.

“Will…” she started with difficulty. “Um… things have been a little, uh… crazy.”

“Oh,” he nodded, looking around. “You don’t say.”

“People are dead, Will,” Discord said darkly. He snapped his talons twice and the floor split apart like a pair of bird’s wings, launching them so fast that everything else turned into a blur. They remained mysteriously still in the center, regardless of the erratic patterns that the floor tile bird twirled in.

“I-”

“A lot of people,” he cut the boy off. “You, specifically.”

“Er… what?”

“You’re dead,” Discord repeated. “All over the galaxy. Every galaxy.”

“Did-did you seriously not tell him?” Eris balked at the elder draconequus. “… Oh my god, you ginormous dickweed.”

“Tell me what?” William threw up his arms in exasperation.

Eris took a deep breath, running her paw between her eyes.

“Okay, so… you know how reality branches apart from each differing potential outcome, right?” she said slowly.

“Go on…” William watched her intently.

“Well,” she coughed into one paw. “You’re kind of… dead. In, like… all of them.”

William stared at her, still trying to contemplate her words.

“All…”

“All of them, yes,” Discord added. “Every world. Every dimension, every reality, every possibility. A mass genocide on the scale that even… upsets the Council. There are no other worlds with other versions of you in them, William. You’re the last one. The only one in all of existence and non-existence to be.”

“So… you’re unique!” Eris punched his shoulder playfully. “That’s one way to look at it.”

“Oh my god,” William’s head felt as if it were going to explode. Which it very well might have, he wouldn’t be too surprised after the recent events. They had long since landed straight into a, surprisingly, bland and ordinary pavilion with a single dingy elevator stretching up into eternity. “Oh god. Oh god, that’s impossible.”

“That’s the problem,” Discord led them toward the elevator, the friendly ding! of the metal double doors snapping shut far too loud. “This kind of thing doesn’t just happen out of nowhere. Most things the Council doesn’t really care about unless you have a minimum of four freckles, but there are penalties for that kind of thing.”

“Freck-what?”

“It happened all at once, too,” Eris stated as they steadily rose to a new unknown location. “No warning, no sign whatsoever. Just… every version of you just died. It’s a total mystery!”

“Please don’t sound so excited,” William felt very much like he were going to be ill.

“Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve gotten to have any kind of fun?” she frowned. “We could totes crack this case wide open – we can be the mystery twins!”

“We’re not twins!” he scowled.

“Focus,” Discord said tersely and snapped his talons again as the elevator came to a screeching halt. “Will, this is kind of really damned important. Try to keep in mind that it’s not just your neck on the line here, alright?”

“What do you mean?” William asked in confusion.

“It means I’m vouching for you,” Discord answered.

William paused for thought.

That was something to keep in mind, and he wished for more time to mull it over. Unfortunately, he was granted no such thing as the elevator doors rapidly sprang open, quite literally vomiting them out with a highly unpleasant noise. The room they were deposited in couldn’t really be called a room as much as it was an entirely new perspective in and of itself. What was inside out was upside down and blue, all of his tastebuds seemed to be assaulted by something terribly orange-y all at once, and he could have sworn that he was smelling the color blue.

All that combined might have been what caused him to finally shut down before the combined semicircle of Discords, each residing regally behind their own raised desks. Long shadows were cast at impossible angles, throwing William into what felt very much like a spotlight. Not a single one was without a ludicrously tall powdered wig, and the clamoring noise of over a dozen gavels would have been deafening were he in any other situation than the bizarre courtroom of draconequui.

“Order! Order in the Court of Chaos!” cried one of the Discords. He slammed his wooden hammer against the desk jarringly with the others.

“Order!” shouted the one next to him, banging his gavel even harder for emphasis.

“Also order! More order in my section than yours!” the one on the end literally had to scream to make himself heard, the cacophonous noise overpowering all else.

It went on for nearly five whole minutes.

The banging and shouting match seemed to go on for much longer, and William couldn’t do much more than stand helplessly in confusion as he vainly tried to spot the Discord he knew with Eris anywhere else. However, only darkness surrounded him.

And then, just as swiftly as it had happened, it stopped.

“… Do you know why you have been brought before the Council?” one of the wigged Discords on the end spoke at him suddenly. William was still reeling from the sudden silence, teetering in confusion.

“… I have no idea what’s going on,” he spoke loudly, still unable to quite hear himself properly.

“Regardless!” spoke up another, this one with a wildly spinning eye. “Your crimes against the balance have not gone unnoticed very much in the span of time in which they were occurring at the time that you did them and will not be unable to not get away with for!”

“… What?” scoffed another Discord, this one two seats away. “Are you even paying attention anymore?”

“No, not really!” the madly spinning eye stopped briefly on his double. “The sentence is eternal damnation in the pits of highly unpleasant poky things!”

“Now-now hold on a moment,” William interjected nervously, his voice coming out much weaker than he anticipated. “Can someone – anyone, please tell me what in god’s name is going on?”

“Are you not responsible for the genocide of approximately forty-seven quadrillion,” the Discord with the spinning eye focused on him intently. “Billion, million-ty seventh-jillion sectup-illion-”

“Did you murder literally every other William Z. Klaskovsky in existence?” the Discord on the end gave an exasperated sigh. His talons clacked and clicked boredly against his high desk.

“Er…” William cleared his throat uneasily. “N-N… no…?”

There was silence amongst the court for a few moments.

In the darkness, someone coughed.

“… Whelp,” coughed one of them into his paw. “He said he didn’t do it. Case closed. Who’s up for bagels?”

“Yeah, I could go for some lunch right about now,” one of the others stretched languidly, rolling his shoulders. “We can go grab some gelato for a snack and head over to the cafeteria and do you honestly think we believe that?” he snarled viciously at William, suddenly ten feet taller than before. Yet another loud cough echoed from somewhere in the distance.

“Well…” he shifted awkwardly. “I should hope so. I’m innocent on-on accounts of genocide! That’s monstrous!”

“Ha!” two other of the draconequui cackled in slightly offbeat symphony. “As if something like innocence is going to get in the way of serving hot justice!”

“It’s served cold,” another muttered under his breath.

“Hot and cold justice!”

“Now-now, hold on…!” William felt himself magically raised by invisible hands, the strength sapped out of him instantly. Panic choked him as he swung violently back and forth, incapable of freeing himself or doing much other than stare ahead.

“To the Pit of Poky Things!”

“Agreed! To the Pit! All in favor say ‘aye’!”

A rousing chorus of ‘ayes’ came from them all at once, leaving William even more stricken than before.

Another spectacularly loud coughing fit came from behind him, and William struggled in vain to take a closer look. Unsurprisingly, Discord was hacking and wheezing with remarkably earsplitting deliberate coughs into his paw, giving the council a meaningful look. Eris stood barely a foot away, expression utterly blank.

“… Is there something that you’d like to add?” the center of the council readjusted his wig with self importance, leveling a look at the lower-altitude Discord.

“Cut the antics,” he responded in an inordinately somber tone. “The schtick wasn’t funny the first time.”

“You have no sense of humor, sixty-nine dash eight comma ampersand purple question mark,” the council member shot back grumpily. William was promptly dropped to what he could only assume was the floor, because he couldn’t quite see it. “I can’t say that I’m all that surprised.”

“High Council of Supreme Discords,” he strode forth with his head held high. “I have done as you decreed and brought the last before you.”

“Yes, we know,” said the same Discord from above. “That part’s fairly obvious.”

“And,” the Discord standing in front of William said a little more loudly. “And, I would also like to present evidence of innocence.”

“What evidence?” William murmured.

“Hush, I got this,” he muttered back.

The council of draconequui’s hushed murmurs echoed for a few seconds throughout the shadowy hall.

“And… what evidence could you possibly be providing?” spoke up the one on the end. “This is a matter of grave importance, there are questions unanswered and punishment must be given!”

“Er…” Discord changed his stance slightly before jabbing a thumb back at William. “Well, uh… how does the last’s memory itself serve?”

Another chorus of murmurs echoed quietly.

“Yeah, that’d just about do it,” the not quite in sync pair responded.

“Neat!” Discord clapped his mismatched hands together. “Just give me…” he tapped each talon to his palm, counting aloud. “One… two… three… fo- four centuries, I’ll be right back.”

Another chorus of murmurs went around the council.

“… Alright,” shrugged the still too-tall draconequus. “You have four centuries. Not a millisecond after though,” he warned him.

“I’ll be on it like Yogi Bear on a pic-a-nic basket!” Discord nodded seriously. He snapped his talons once.

Before William even realized it, the entire room was gone. Long shadows were replaced with the bright, cheery colors of an empty hospital waiting room with far too many happy faces painted onto the walls. Chalky drawings were stuck here and there with tape, dangling quietly.

“… What in the Sam hell is going on?!” William blurted, arms still crossed protectively over his head.

Eris leaned back in the seat next to him, peering over at Discord on his opposite side.

“So… that happened,” she stated. It was the first time she had spoken in a while, and it sounded odd to William. “Four centuries, huh?”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Discord rose, motioning for them both to follow as he pushed through the hospital’s double doors and strode with a rapid tunk, tick! down the brightly illuminated hallway. His words were just as fast as his actions, impatient. “Time means nothing to the council.”

“So… we’re actually going to have to wait four centuries?” William asked, straining to keep up and still attempting to make sense of the madness occurring all at once. A small part of him silently noted that he was barely even phased by the teleportation anymore.

“No,” Discord frowned. “I mean, time literally means nothing to the Confederacy of Dunces. We might not even have four minutes. If they can count.”

“Do… you… not get along?” he asked slowly, oblivious to the ‘shut up’ motions that Eris was making.

“You could say that,” he answered grimly. “But at the moment they’re our best line of defense. It’s best to just play along and let them argue amongst themselves rather than… well.”

“Well, what?” William asked curiously as they rounded a corner, the unnervingly empty hospital beginning to make his spine tingle. “What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Well,” Discord ran a paw over his head. “You mean aside from the fact that literally every other version of you to be known mysteriously bit the dust and you’re seemingly the culprit due to process of elimination? All of creation is kind of having a rough time at the moment.”

“… Define ‘a rough time’.”

“Have you ever heard of the Titans?” Eris asked uneasily as they came to a door with a single number eight on it. Discord barged in without delay, leaving them both to follow.

“Religious myths in Equestria about the founders of the world, yes,” William said slowly and uncertainly.

“They’re not myths,” she said after Discord nodded to her subtly. “At least, mostly. They’re a constant in every world – the source of Harmony itself, there before life and death and sentience even. Think of gods amongst gods,” Eris rubbed her shoulder. It took William a brief moment to realize that they had been standing rather uncomfortably in front of a very cold looking metal examination table for a while now.

“And… what does this have to do with… anything?” William’s brows narrowed.

“The Elements…” Discord shifted at last. “The Titans were, and have been, very responsive to the agents of Chaos; to everyone, really, so long as they sought them out. And then they went quiet.”

“Okay…” William’s skeptical tone didn’t help matters, but he didn’t drop it.

“All of a sudden,” he threw out his arms. “Worlds, galaxies – whole realities, just gone.”

“That happens sometimes,” Eris interjected.

“Just not on such a massive scale,” Discord frowned. “It’s unnatural entropy… or, more than that, like they were being devoured.”

“Right…” she nodded as she helped the nervous William up onto the examination table. “As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.”

“There’s a disturbance in the Force,” Discord nodded seriously. “And the Council of Chaos is just a teeny, tiny bit paranoid that you might be involved.”

William’s mouth had been opening and closing, but nothing seemed to come out until the last part.

“But-but, that’s… that’s insane!” William tried to push away the stethoscope that had appeared out of thin air. “That’s insane, it’s just… mad!”

“You just described the Council, kiddo,” Discord harrumphed. “Not even proper anarchy, I can’t stand courtroom farces. Stuck up pricks.”

“He’s still kind of sore since he got rejected from one of the seats,” Eris explained.

“Nuh-uh!” the draconequus snapped. “I am not!”

“Slow down slow down slow down slow down!” William smacked the flying stethoscope away once again in irritation as he was pressed back down to the bench. “Just-just give me a moment, would you?”

“There’s no time!” Discord growled, clicking his talons again. An odd sensation began to prickle at the base of William’s neck, spreading through his body in an instant. It felt very much as if he had suddenly been dropped into a bath of ice cubes, and he fought hard not to shiver. “I just need to you trust that I know what I’m doing; kind of like I trust that you weren’t lying to me, or I am in some serious deuce with the Council.”

William took a deep breath, looking back and forth between the determined draconequui.

“You’re… you’re just… looking through my-my memory, right?” he asked uneasily.

“Well, actually,” Eris looked away with embarrassment. “You’ve kind of got something that doesn’t really, you know… belong to you stuck away somewhere within your, uh… entity.”

“Your power,” he answered instantly.

“Bingo,” Discord nodded. “She’d kind of like that back.”

“Take it,” William didn’t even blink. “It wasn’t mine to begin with. Just take it back already. I couldn’t really find too many uses for it after all,” he lied.

“That’s, uh… that’s kind of a problem as well…” Eris tapped her talons together. “See, you’ve kind of, er… seen a little too much.”

“… I don’t like where this is going.”

Discord sighed heavily, pinching his the bridge of his snout.

“Once Eris’s connection to Chaos has been taken out of you…” Discord started. “If all goes well, you’ll revert back to your previous state. I can keep you in a state of suspended animation for a while, but… you’ll still know things you shouldn’t. You’ve seen things that human minds simply can’t handle without shutting down.”

“Oh- oh, no,” William shied away quickly. “Oh, no no no – no way, I don’t like where this is going…!”

“Will.”

Eris’s paw on his hand kept him still for a moment.

“Look. Dude,” she locked eyes with him. “I’m gonna level with you here. It’s probably kinda gonna suck. You’re probably gonna have migraines for a few decades.”

“Decades?!”

“But trust me when I say you’ve got nothing to worry about,” Eris continued to console him. “Dad’s mind wiped me too, remember? And look at me, I’m totally fine!”

She gave him her best winning smile. She even kicked up the ‘perky’ factor a couple of notches.

“… Not a chance in hell!” William tried to scrabble away again, regardless of the futility.

“QUIET!”

William flinched at the sound of Discord’s angry bark. However, when he looked at him, his face was utterly expressionless.

“… Look,” Discord seethed. “Just roll with it. I promise I’ll only wipe out what’s absolutely necessary. And I swear to the Titans, if I find anything incriminating…”

His threat was left hanging.

“I stand by my plea of innocence,” William said firmly. “Just… whatever it takes. I just want to go home.”

“… Yeah.”

Discord looked away for another moment, his face downcast.

“… Tell you what,” Discord nodded after a bit. “Tell you what. I’m gonna put you under. Okay? It’ll be just like going to sleep,” he held up a finger when the boy began to protest. “And when you wake up, all of this will just be a bad dream and you’ll be back at home again.”

“… In Equestria?” he asked hesitantly.

“You betcha. Like this was all just a bad dream.”

William held his gaze for a beat before turning to the silent Eris, then back to Discord.

“… You promise?”

“I promise.”

“Alright,” he agreed slowly. Just as Discord began to move, William interrupted again. “Wait, wait!”

“What now?” Discord asked in exasperation.

“I-I had another question,” William started. “Since I might forget anyway… is-is there anything I should know first?”

“Yes,” Eris nodded. “Time is a falsehood, the universe is a hologram and everything you thought you knew is wrong.”

“What-“

And that was all the time he had before dropping rather unceremoniously onto the table.

“… Just gonna knock him out, huh? Done in ten seconds, huh?”

“Eris.”

“… Yeah Dad?”

“Shut up.”

“M’kay.”

The process was long and arduous, to say the least.

Discord washed away grime that he couldn’t see down a sink as Eris kicked cheerfully on the countertop beside him, noisily enjoying her lollipop. Her eyes remained rather firmly, however, on the brightly glowing sphere floating cheerfully around his left antler and making a rather bizarre and indefinable noise. It orbited him slowly, almost like a spherical halo.

“You really think the Council will be happy with that?” Eris asked after a long stretch of silence, the poor gnawed stick of her candy all that remained.

“They’d better be,” Discord harrumphed. “If not we’re kind of boned.”

“Great. So… was it…?”

“I’d prefer to consider it a merciful lobotomy,” Discord flicked his talons dry. “Still not anywhere near as bad as yours.”

“Really?”

“Definitely,” he rolled his shoulders, making it pop audibly. “Although he might be down by about a dozen IQ points or so now. Nothing he’ll miss! Probably…”

Discord tried whistling restlessly. He failed.

Terribly.

“So… this means I get my powers back now, right?” Eris perked up hopefully.

“Yeah, no.”

“Wha- why not?” she dropped off the countertop indignantly.

“Because you’re still grounded, that’s why,” he answered humorlessly.

“Oh my god!” Eris threw up her arms in fury. “This is so unfair! I can’t believe you, why do you always have to be such a massive-”

“And if you show no signs of power then the Council has no reason to show interest in you,” Discord added, almost as an afterthought, but it was clear from his tone what his intent was. Eris quieted down swiftly afterwards.

“... So…” she rubbed her elbow, trying not to look around the room. “Now what?”

“Now I keep my promise,” Discord grinned, clicking his talons.

“Which one?”

“See you after work, sugar booger,” he kissed her quickly on the forehead. “Try not to let your brother botch things too badly this time around. ‘Kay?”

“No! No, not o-”

“-kay!”

Eris blinked, the slumped form lying in the grass before her oddly small and frail looking on the ground. The cheerfully quacking ducks in the lake beside them filled the summer air, complimenting the sound of a number of families along its sandy banks. Mid afternoon warmth radiated over them, followed shortly by the ever so subtly cool breeze wafting from the waters of Ponyville Lake. She looked back down at William again, still unfamiliar with the sight. A small voice in the back of her head (at least, one that wasn’t screaming German six days a week) was very clear that she preferred the boy’s previous form better. The colt just seemed off looking.

The other voices in her head seemed to be in symphony with her, though.

“… COCKSUCKING SON OF A WHORE!”

0-0-0-0-0

0-0-0-0-0

It's Not Your Color

0-0-0-0-0

It was almost like a dream.

Pleasant breeze rolling over the lake, the sun warming the banks that they lay on. The sound of cheerful ponies going about their lives could be heard all around. Eris watched a trio of fillies running circles around an elderly stallion in a wide brim hat desperately trying to fish. Her tail remained curled around her waist, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs as she turned her gaze back out to the gently rolling lake.

… Yeah. Almost like a dream.

Although a number of the younger ones began to wander their way on numerous occasions, none of them came very close. Eris didn’t particularly mind. She simply gave a quiet sigh through her nostrils and continued her lookout. The colt beside her stirred after a long while, after the morning sun had nearly reached its peak.

“ Yo. You finally awake?” she peered over at the new and improved William. For some reason his eyes seemed to be looking in different directions.

“… I like waffles.”

“… Uh oh.”

Eris shifted in extreme discomfort, the words ‘merciful lobotomy’ coming back to mind.

“Uh… dude?” she frowned uneasily.

“What?” he blinked hard, screwing up his eyes for a few seconds before turning back to her. “What is it, Eris? What did I miss, how long was I out for?”

“Oh, god,” Eris held a talon to her chest. “Whoo, kind of scared me there for a second.”

“Why?” William rubbed the side of his head. “What seems to be-”

William then stopped talking very quickly when he found that he had no fingers. He stared at the hoof where his hand used to be, eyes trailing along the foreleg and over his body. The pale color of his coat seemed to disturb him even more though.

“… Eris.”

“Hm?”

“… Why am I pink?”

“You know,” the draconequus scratched her chin lazily. “I’d have thought you’d be freaking out about the whole ‘pony’ thing instead of coat color. 'sides, it's kinda cute on you, I like it.”

“Oh, believe you me,” William nodded seriously, trying his best to sit up on his weakly wobbling haunches without falling over. “Imminent nervous breakdown is approaching, and rather rapidly. It’s just taking me a little longer to process this than I anticipated. Give me a minute.”

“Two if I can find ‘em.”

William took another ten minutes curiously inspecting his new equine body, showing an odd fascination with his molars. He seemed particularly upset over something the entire time, growing more dissatisfied the longer he explored himself.

“So…” Eris said awkwardly. “You done touching yourself, or what?”

“Please don’t describe it like that,” he said with a frown. “Hm. Earth pony. Rather disappointing. I would have preferred unicorn and even settled for pegasus. Now, where was I… ah, yes. Nervous breakdown.”

“I think-”

Eris was promptly cut off by an unnaturally high pitched shriek that could have shattered a wall of glass. She clamped her hands over her ears at the shrill whistle, scowling until the atrocious wailing finally died down. By that point quite a few of the others around the lake were staring in their direction.

“… You done?”

“I-I think so,” William nodded breathlessly. “Glad I got that out of my system. Let’s go home.”

“Uh…” Eris started uncomfortably as William struggled to stand. “Actually, I think-”

“Hold on to that thought, Eris,” he shook his head, legs quivering ferociously as he collapsed back to the ground. “It’s more difficult to walk on four legs than it looks, give me a minute and then we can go home.”

“Look, dude-”

“Hold on, Eris!” William snapped as he fell back to the ground. “One thing at a time! I just need one minute, I’ll have this figured out.”

She shrugged internally, thinking.

It took William much longer than one minute.

For the next quarter of an hour, William strived with all his might to force his body into an upright position, center of balance still unfound. He eventually managed to stand upright, but only by tightly locking his limbs together so hard that he was slightly shaking.

“… T-there,” he heaved a pleased sigh. “I’m getting this down pat. Now for the walking.”

“Would you like some help?” Eris asked boredly, chin in her hand.

“No, no,” William furrowed his brows intently, cautiously unlocking his legs only to come crashing back to the ground. “This is merely another challenge, and one that I shall overcome post haste.”

He was extremely determined, she gave him that much.

“You sure-”

“Yes, I am quite certain!” he scowled indignantly. “I can do this myself, thank you.”

And with that, he promptly fell over onto his side.

Eris bit her thumb, doing little to mask her giggling. William gave a long, heavy and displeased sigh through his nostrils, glowering at her.

“… Eris.”

“Hmm?” she batted her eyelashes innocently.

“Why did you let Father turn me into a quadruped?”

“Because… I… get off on your suffering…?” Eris blinked honestly.

“Eris.”

“Hmm?”

“… I may require a miniscule amount of assistance.”

“Nah.”

William pawed at the ground in panic as the draconequus rose, straining to pull himself up.

“Hold – wait, where are you going?” his voice came out a couple of octaves higher than he expected.

“You already said you didn’t need my help,” she shrugged without turning around. “Laters!”

“Wait wait wait I take it back, I take it back!” William kicked desperately, wobbling legs making him look like a fuzzy pink crab. “I-I need your… help. Please?”

“Well…” Eris paused, turning on the spot and placing a talon on her chin in contemplation. “Since you said please…”

After a couple of silent moments she turned around once again and started marching away.

“For crying out loud, Eris!”

“Oh, fine,” she rolled her eyes, snatching the boy turned colt up in one arm and easily hefting him onto her left shoulder. “There. Better?”

“No,” William clung to her for dear life, the ground suddenly seeming much too far away. “This is terrible. I would have preferred any other mode of transport.”

“Do you want me to throw you in the lake, short stack?”

William fell silent.

“That’s what I thought.”

And away they went.

0-0-0-0-0

Hello, My Name Is Will

0-0-0-0-0

William’s back hooves dangled loosely against Eris’s waist as she lazily traipsed down the road. Of course, the ‘hooves’ part was still remarkably hard to get used to. A few strands of thin white mane fell in his eyes every now and then, proving to be horrendously distracting.

“And how exactly did you manage to even get it in the first place?” Eris pried, scratching at a spot behind her antler and nearly shaking him off. “That’s the kind of thing you’d expect to be under maximum security somewhere or something, like a super secret vault. You’d have to break in, like, Mission Impossible style.”

“I thought the same thing,” William nodded thoughtfully, gripping her shoulder to keep from falling off. “But, no. She was keeping it right next to her on her nightstand, of all places.”

“That’s retarded,” she balked.

“That’s what I said!”

“So where exactly did you go after that?” she pried curiously. William shifted awkwardly on her shoulder, trying hard not to fall.

“Well…” he said after a moment. “I went exactly where I said I would. I went back to my… origin world, as it were.”

“Oh. Why’d you come back?”

William did not have an answer.

He was very quiet on her shoulder for the longest time. The only noise on the empty road was of a gentle breeze whistling through, and the chirrup of swooping birds. They (or rather, Eris) walked in silence for what felt like hours, even though it really wasn’t that long at all. They meandered far enough down the road that the tall trees of Ponyville’s park began to thicken around them.

“I found my father.”

“Hm?” Eris blinked, surprised that he’d broken the silence.

“Neil Klaskovsky,” William said softly. “My biological father. The one who… I found him.”

“I thought that dude was dead?” she careened her head around, nearly throwing him off in the process. “Also, god, I think you’re getting heavier.”

“Almost…” he replied as he righted himself, getting a better grip on her shoulder. “Father… Discord, as it were…”

Eris waited and waited for him to continue, but he still said nothing.

“Well?” she asked after he still said nothing. “Don’t leave me hangin’.”

“Neil was… kept alive by Discord,” William continued with great difficulty. “He’d been paraplegic for over six decades.”

“Ouch,” she flinched. “Yeah, the sad thing is, that actually kind of sounds like the kind of thing he’d do if he was pissed off enough.”

“I… well. He’s not alive anymore.”

“I see…” Eris nodded emotionlessly.

“After that I didn’t really… I couldn’t stay there. I just couldn’t.”

“I gotcha. After something like that I wouldn’t really want to hang around either. Awkward subject change?”

“Awkward subject change.”

Eris eyed a wooden bench along the path, happily collapsing onto it. William dropped off her shoulder wearily, sidling carefully into the seat next to her and stretching as he sat up.

“So…” she breathed a sigh of relief, brushing a lock of pearly hair from her face. “I think I need to start working out.”

“Doubtlessly,” William answered, staring straight ahead.

“No,” Eris scowled, pushing him. “You’re supposed to say Golly, Eris! You don’t need to work out, your figure is great!”

“Maybe if you lost weight you wouldn’t have trouble ca-”

William had difficulty finishing his sentence, as Eris wasted no time in pushing him off the side of the bench.

Sputtering, William managed to haul himself one leg at a time back onto the bench, Eris still frowning at him with her arms crossed.

“What?” he met her glare with one of his own. “It’s not my fault your butt’s exponentially larger than necessity!”

“Bite me, short stack,” she pushed him again, though he managed to keep from falling off this time. “I’m proportionate.”

“If you’re part hippopotamus, yes,” William retorted grumpily, trying to force his front legs in front of himself to sit like a cat for balance’s sake.

“Hey! Don’t pass on the ass, it’s just more cushion for pushin’!”

“Cushion,” he snorted. “More like whole sofa.”

William once again found himself on the ground.

“Also, ‘sofa’ is weird,” Eris mused aloud as William once again angrily tried to pull himself back onto the wooden bench. “Seriously, ‘the fuck is a ‘sofa’? What’s the difference between a sofa and a couch? They’re the same thing, just call ‘em couches!”

“Couches don’t have arm rests,” William explained in exasperation. “Obviously.”

“What do you mean ‘obviously’, huh?” she rolled her eyes. “How is anybody supposed to know trivial crap like that? That’s as nerdy as knowing what those little things on the ends of shoelaces are called!”

“You mean aglets?”

“Nerd!” Eris gasped in mock horror. “I can’t believe this! Betrayal!”

“I think-”

“Betrayaaaaaaaaal!”

“… I think it’s time to go,” William carefully dropped down, locking his legs together instantly.

“But I’m tired,” she harrumphed. “I had to carry your ass the whole way.”

“And I’d prefer that we not loaf around all day,” he responded quickly. “Now, let me try this walking thing again. One, and two, and one…”

Eris watched in mild amusement as William fought hard for his balance. When walking did not seem to come naturally to him, he settled instead for carefully shifting one leg at a time. Each time he tried though he scrunched his legs together to avoid falling over, and only wound up resembling a very large pink caterpillar. Eris found this hilarious.

William did not.

“Just give me a minute,” he said snappily almost ten minutes later. “I’ve almost got it, almost got it now.”

“You know, you just make it funnier when you get all determined like that,” Eris giggled, not having moved an inch. He continuously meandered around in a small circle, viciously glaring at his back legs as if he could get them to work properly merely by glowering at them.

“Determination is the forge by which I shall produce success!” he decreed vehemently.

“Sure you will. Want me to carry you again?”

“… Yes please.”

“Eris.”

“Hm?”

“I seem to have made a slight miscalculation.”

“Indeed.”

William’s eyes were glued to the empty plot of land, his face downcast. The place that he used to know so well, now devoid of anything recognizable. No homely white picket fence that he used to walk by every day. No tacky curtains hanging in the open windows and billowing in the breeze. No home where home used to be. It was a very jarring experience, even though William silently berated himself for not having expected it.

“… This is my fault,” he said after the longest time of simply staring. “When I tried to… reset everything.”

“Define reset,” Eris started nervously, arms crossed across her chest.

“When I… left,” he cleared his throat. “I tried to turn things back so that nobody would miss me, so I… set back the clock, essentially.”

“Ouch.” She nodded understandingly. “I figured it was something like that.”

“I should have expected as much,” William sighed. “I should have thought ahead. I just… didn’t expect it to, er-hem. Sting quite so badly.”

“You think Dad can re-reset everything?” Eris leaned lazily against him, only to be warily pushed off as he strained to keep his frail balance.

“Think about it, Eris,” he frowned miserably, furrowing his brows. “Of what exactly that would require in order to bring everypony as close as they were before. All sorts of… unpleasantness was underwent before I was ever even brought here – I effectively destroyed my own life.”

Eris was silent for a while.

“… Damn,” she said simply, giving a pebble a kick onto the slightly busy road.

“I got exactly what I wanted,” William muttered bitterly. “And now, here I am again, with even less than I had before.”

“I think you’re focusing too much on the negative,” Eris nudged him with one cloven hoof. He nearly fell over just from that, and pawed urgently at the sidewalk before him to remain upright. “Think of it this way – you get a whole new chance! Starting fresh, even!”

“With what?” he scowled, the look only seeming more permanent. “No home? No family?”

“What am I, chopped liver?” she scoffed.

“It’s hopeless,” he turned away from her, droopily hanging his head. Eris plopped down on the warm sidewalk next to him, watching the slow multitude go by. “My life is over.”

“So, we’re in a bit of a jam…” Eris shrugged. “And also have no parents. We could-”

“If you’re about to suggest anything that involves an orphanage, don’t even think it!” William snapped. “I am never, ever setting foot in another orphanage ever again. Ever.”

“Didn’t one of your friends live in an orphanage?” Eris asked.

William perked up immediately, his little ears sticking up through his white mane.

“She did!” he exclaimed quickly, lighting up. “Or rather, does – if we went back far enough… oh dear lord do I hope so, we just might have! This is great! Eris, you’re a genius!”

“Yeah, I know-”

She was promptly cut off by William loudly grabbing her head and kissing her before dropping to the ground. He was practically giddy with excitement, scooting this way and that on his wobbly legs.

“We can fix everything!” he started off down the sidewalk, the stunned draconequus still sitting with her head in her hands. “I know everything that’s going to happen for the next two years – I’m effectively a clairvoyant!”

“Hold-hold on!” she scrabbled after him, surprised at his sudden speed. “No fair, you’ve got extra legs!”

William did slow down, though not for immediate reasons. In actuality it was because she’d pointed out something as obvious as having extra legs, which led to him consciously trying to use them all at once. This, of course, only resulted in him stumbling and tripping this way and that as he struggled to regain the oh so brief mastery of his limbs he’d just held. Eris nearly bowled over an elderly mare simply trying to get by in her excursion, the madly scuttling colt ahead beginning to pick up speed again.

“I can fix everything,” he said breathlessly as she caught up to him, a rare smile wide across his face. “We just have to get to Mother and explain everything, and I’m sure it’ll all be fine.”

“Are you sure –”

“Everything will be fine,” he restated assuredly. “Just let me do all the talking so that you don’t botch anything and hey hey hey put me down!”

Williams legs continued strutting along as if they were still on the ground, and he was extremely displeased to find that Eris tucked him under one arm as she continued along.

“Quit patronizing me, twerp,” she poked him hard in the ribs, making him squirm. “You don’t get to talk down to me so long as I’m bigger, got it?”

“Unhand me this instant, I command you!” William squealed indignantly, kicking uselessly at the air.

“You had no trouble on my shoulder,” Eris replied sharply, tightening her grip.

“That was another matter entirely!” he fumed. “And people are staring, you’re making a public fool of me! Unhand me at once, I insist!”

“I could be carrying you in a purse like one of those hideous little dogs that look like a ball of fur and eyeballs,” she poked him in the ribs again. “Is this not preferable?”

“I preferred walking!” he pouted. “I even preferred riding you to this.”

“Then count yourself fortunate like a lottery winner,” she shifted him up to her shoulder where he desperately clung on for dear life. “Not everybody can claim getting to ride their sister!”

“Please don’t describe it like that,” William huffed in defeat.

“… Where are we even goin’, anyway?”

“Just keep an eye on the sky,” William instructed her. “We’re almost there now, but I’d prefer to meet Mother beforehand anyway.”

“You really think they’ll buy it?” Eris inquired, Sugarcube Corner slowly coming into sight. “Also,” she squinted suddenly. “Is-is that place made out of candy? ‘cause it really looks like it’s made out of candy.”

“You can taste the doorknobs when we get there…” he locked eyes on the place, no sign of Rainbow Dash anywhere in the sky. “Just keep going.”

“I’m suddenly regretting carrying you again,” she harrumphed, her rolling shoulders almost knocking him off.

She was quick to let him drop by the time they finally reached the coral colored door of the pastry shop, pleasantly sweet scents wafting out of the windows. William cleared his throat a few times and gave himself a hard shake.

“Alright,” he vainly tried to smooth his mane, which was doing everything in its power to remain wiry and unruly. “I’ll handle everything, we just have to get things sorted out, and I’ll explain to miss Pie about how everything went wrong, and then we can get the family back together and everything will be fine.”

“If you say so…” Eris said uncertainly, though he didn’t seem to hear her. He knocked a few times with the flat of his hoof, cautiously tensing up and focusing on keeping his precious balance.

“Trust me,” William straightened an imaginary bow tie smartly. “Everything’s going to work out perfectly. And if I’m wrong, may god strike me dead.”

Eris subtly inched away from him.

“… What’s taking so long?” he muttered, rapping at the door again. At last he heard someone approaching, his excitement growing all the more.

“Hello!” William put on his best winning smile just as the door began to open. “My name is Will-”

His jaw dropped open before he could manage to finish speaking, the rest falling out in an unintelligible splutter. Before them was, quite possibly, the largest creature that William had ever seen. Standing what must have been at least seven feet tall and comprised of sheer muscle, the almost doubled over cobalt minotaur dusted his gigantic trashcan lid-sized hands on a ridiculously small apron, a miniature cloud of flour falling off of him.

“Hello,” he blinked down at them in a booming voice that William swore was making his very bones rattle. “My name is Will. Iron Will. Are you here for the one o’ clock pickup?”

“Fuh duh guh buh buh buh,” William craned his neck as hard as he could up at him.

“… Hello,” Iron Will turned to Eris. “Sorry, didn’t know he was retarded. My name is Iron Will. Are you here for the one o’ clock pickup?”

“Where’s Miss Pie?” William’s voice came screeching out in panic.

“Somepony call me?” the familiar bouncy mane of Pinkie Pie arrived instantly out from behind the gargantuan minotaur before leaning up to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Who is it, sugar booger?”

William fainted on the spot.

“… I don’t think they’re here for the one o’ clock pickup.”

0-0-0-0-0

Déjà Who?

0-0-0-0-0

“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay there, little fella?” Pinkie Pie dabbed at his forehead with a cool damp cloth.

“I haven’t seen bricks drop that fast,” Eris said jokingly, hanging around the edge of the living room sofa.

“The heat is probably what got to him,” she explained as William began to stir at last. “You know how fragile colts can be; how long was he outside? Does he have these problems often?”

“I am quite alright, thank you,” William frowned, woozily sitting up and pushing her away. “Thank you for your assistance, Miss Pie, I shall be at peak performance momentarily.”

Pinkie looked at him for a beat before turning to Eris.

“Kinda wordy, isn’t he?” Pinkie Pie grinned. “Also, how come you’re a girl now, Discord?”

“I’m not Discord. I’m Eris,” Eris deadpanned. “See these?” she smushed her chest together as best as she could. “Does Discord have boobers? Nope. No he does not.”

“Ignore her,” William turned to the significantly confused Pinkie. “She’s insane.”

“Muffins are ready,” Iron Will’s booming voice came rattling from the kitchen. He went completely ignored by all.

“Well, I don’t believe we’ve met before…” Pinkie perked up. “Although you already seem to know me. It’s nice to meet you, Eris! And what about you, little guy?” she turned to the increasingly agitated colt.

“… Miss Pie,” he tapped his hooves together awkwardly. “My name is-is William, and I have some things to tell you that may be-”

“Oh, neat!” she clapped excitedly. “Now we have two Wills, isn’t that great? I thought that was exclusively a minotaur name, I’ve never met a pony with a name like yours, how exotic!”

“Focus!”

Pinkie flinched at his shout, eyeing him in confusion.

“Miss Pie. Pinkie,” William said seriously, looking her in the eyes. “Focus. What I’m about to tell you is of grave importance, and I need you to pay attention. Understand?”

Pinkie looked to Eris in mild confusion, slowly turning back and nodding. William took a deep breath before hand, steadying himself.

“My name is William. William Zachariah Klaskovksy,” he started slowly. “And the world that you know it is not as it should be.”

“I think your friend might have been out in the sun a little too long,” Pinkie chuckled weakly, uncomfortably looking back to Eris. However the draconequus only shook her head, frowning.

“I am completely serious,” William nodded once. “Your name is Pinkamena Diane Pie. You grew up on a rock farm and are the bearer of the Element of Laughter, Ponyville’s ‘premier party planner’, your favorite color is blue and you love the taste of cherries.”

Pinkie Pie’s eyebrows slowly rose with his every word until they vanished into her mane.

“I can tell you anything that you like about yourself,” William said seriously. “Your family, your past, your ideas; even your very future. I know everything, Pinkamena.”

William leaned forward a bit, watching as Pinkie very noticeably lurched away. The concern was clearly gone from her eyes, replaced with a wariness that he had never seen her look at him with before. He saw the uncertainty and a sliver of fear began to rise that perhaps he still hadn’t convinced her, that something was wrong.

“Everything.”

“Who wants muffins?”

Iron Will’s thunderous voice made them all jump simultaneously. The fact that no one was responding to him seemed to have brought about the catastrophe of ‘muffins’ even swifter, because they certainly didn’t look like muffins. The plate he held contained what strongly appeared to be an assortment of burned rocks wrapped in colored paper. A row of sprinkles followed him from the kitchen, lingering just so.

“I don’t know how you know the-thethings that you do, but… I think you should leave.”

William’s heart sank into his stomach, and he instantly wished that he could rewind time once more to try again.

“… Did I miss something?” Iron Will peered suspiciously down at William and Eris, his scowl evident.

“Everything is fine!” William fought down the flood of panic, trying to keep his voice in check as best he could. “We were just chatting here with-”

“Out,” Pinkie repeated, jabbing threateningly at him and causing him to scamper toward the door with Eris close in tow. “Out! Get out of our home!”

William backed out unwillingly, struggling to find something, anything he could say that would cause her steps to falter as they were steadily pushed out.

“Wait wait wait, I can explain!” he cried desperately, Iron Will blocking all possible reentry. “I have an answer to everything, just-just-just let me explain!”

“Stay away from my family!” Pinkie Pie shouted over him, slamming the door in his face. “And don’t come back!”

“Wait wait I’m sorry Moth-”

William stood shakily, staring hard at the wooden door with his mouth still hanging open. Perhaps he had come on too strongly. Eris was noticeably quiet, though the words that came at last from another didn’t seem to phase him at all.

“… Well,” Mr. Cake coughed uneasily into one hoof, his wife and twins close beside him. “Uh… this is… awkward.”

“Hello Mister Cake,” William breathed miserably, eyes not leaving the spot on the door.

“What brings you here, Discord?” Cup cautiously asked Eris.

“I’m not Discord. I’m Eris.”

“… Can I get in my house now?” Carrot asked bluntly.

He squeezed carefully past the still stunned colt, making very sure not to get too close as the family wordlessly edged past and relocked the door behind them.

“… Assholes,” Eris dropped onto the stone step beside William, crossing her arms. “You want I should punch ‘im in the face for you?”

“Let’s just go Eris.”

“Aw, c’mon!” she grinned, nudging him. “I’ll take the dynamic duo, you take the big dumb ugly one.”

“Let’s just go, Eris.”

“No,” a low chuckle escaped her. “You’re supposed to say, ‘which one is the ugly’-”

“Let’s go Eris!” he shouted, stomping away. “I don’t want to be here anymore, just…” he petered out, head drooping. “… Let’s just go.”

Eris watched him clumsily stumble along the roadside, his hooves dragging. She gave a quiet sigh eventually, silently trudging after him.

“… You wanna go get some ice cream?” Eris asked hopefully. “That always cheers me up. I could go for some ice cream. I’ll bet you really want ice cream right about now,” she nodded, leaning in a bit. “What I’m implying is that we should totally go get ice cream. Actually, I’d want ice cream right now anyway, I haven’t had any in, like, a hundred years. Man, I tell you, I’ve had the weirdest feeling of déjà vu all day long, you ever get that? It’s kind of bugging me, like when you’re trying to remember some song and you can’t quite get the lyrics. Y’know?”

William remained silent.

“… You notice that you’re naked yet?”

Although he did not respond, William did indeed try to pull in a little bit closer to himself. He didn’t quite flush either as she was expecting, but instead began slowly turning a light shade of cherry in the ears and neck.

“… ‘cause I realized that, like, hours ago,” she meandered along beside him, gracefully hopping from one mismatched foot to the next just on the very edge of the sidewalk. Eris nearly fell several times into passing ponies, but somehow miraculously managed to stay upright. “And I know it’s gotta be bugging you. Come on, you can tell me if it’s bothering you. Nah, you don’t have to tell me!” she giggled. “I know it is.”

“I feel exposed,” he blurted at last, trying to keep the newfound chalky tail as close to his rear as possible. Unfortunately it seemed to have a mind of its own, was nearly impossible to control directly. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“What’s wrong with exposing yourself in public?”

“Please don’t phrase it like that,” William frowned. He trudged along at the same painfully slow and wobbly speed, but finally brought his head up.

“Why not?” she tossed her hair back gleefully and cracking her knuckles. “It’s awesome! Exposing yourself in public is so much fun it should be illegal.”

“Are you an exhibitionist or something?” William harrumphed. He kicked wildly in panic when Eris pulled him up by the scruff of his neck, causing him to draw his legs to himself instinctively.

“… Aww, you look like a cute widdle kitty!” she nuzzled his muzzle, only for him to scowl angrily at her.

“Cease this at once!” he insisted. “I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times, I don’t like heights!”

Eris promptly ignored him and dropped him onto her shoulder, continuing about her way of prancing on the very edge of the sidewalk. William gripped her neck in panic, the idea of hitting the ground highly unappealing.

“Just roll with it, twerp,” he could hear the laughter in Eris’s voice. “I’ve always wanted my own shoulder pet anyway.”

“I am not your pet!”

“Where are we going again?” Eris tilted her head wildly, nearly throwing him off and leading him to hang on for dear life.

“Golden Oaks Library,” he explained breathlessly as he regained his grip. “Center of town, three streets up from this one and two to the left.”

“A library?” Eris deadpanned. “Are you frickin’ serious?”

“As a heart attack…” William nodded slowly, readjusting his grip on her shoulder. “This must be approached logically. If there’s one person who can help me right now, it’s at the library.”

“Who’s to say we won’t just have a repeat of what just happened back there?” Eris asked. Her tone shifted subtly so that he almost didn’t notice it, but the cheer and enthusiasm was evidently gone from her voice.

“What happened with Mother – I… that was a fluke,” William spat in sudden fury. “That should not have happened, and when I get to the bottom of precisely why I shall rectify the issue post haste and all shall resume as normal. I. Will. Fix. This,” he vowed quietly.

“Onward, then!” Eris’s demeanor returned without warning as she threw her arms into the air, charging ahead and eliciting a panicked yelp from William as he was nearly thrown from her again. “Hi-Yo Silver, awa~ay!”

0-0-0-0-0

It's A Long Story

0-0-0-0-0

There were a certain number of things that brought great comfort to William. The scent of parchment mingled with grass was one, cinnamon another. The joy of finally finishing a long book was nearly unmatched in every occasion. However, at the moment he was certain that absolutely nothing could possibly be more relieving than finally dropping from Eris’s shoulder to gaze up at the old oak tree building that he visited so often, almost like a home away from home.

“I hate libraries,” Eris grumbled.

“Shut up Eris,” he responded cheerfully, surprising her. “Let’s go fix our lives.”

William rolled his shoulders eagerly, taking a few swift breathes.

“Just leave the talking to me,” he said determinedly. “This time I’m going to be properly prepared, and I’ll explain everything to Miss Sparkle and we can get everyone back together and everything will be fine.”

“You sound more like you’re talking to yourself than you are to me,” Eris frowned, crossing her arms. He quietly noted that she still had not approached the library, leaving him antsy. “You sure about this?”

“What are you on about?” William asked impatiently. “The sooner we address the issue the better. I need to fix this. Okay?”

“… Look,” Eris’s shoulders sagged after a moment. He expected something, anything else out of her, but she simply looked at him with an exhausted, exasperated stare. “What if you’re wrong?”

“I’m never-“ he started defensively before pursing his lips sharply. “… I’m not. I can fix this, and everything can go back to normal. Okay?”

Eris blew a long breath through puffed out cheeks, running a paw through her wispy hair before throwing her arms up to the sky.

“This is some Sisyphean shit,” Eris sighed after a bit, dropping onto the sidewalk in front of the library and patting the curb a couple of times, eyes on the empty road. “Take a seat, squirt.”

“Eris,” he threw a hoof back at the tree-home, nearly falling over in the process. “Miss Sparkle. Important. Family. Today.”

The draconequus gritted her teeth hard in frustration, not budging an inch.

“Just sit down twerp,” she said through her teeth, narrowing a dangerous glare at him. He briefly considered resisting again, but the sheer force of her glare mysteriously caused his knees to begin to buckle. Once he finally dropped sullenly next to her, Eris still didn’t speak; she only took another few deep breaths, blowing out her cheeks every time and rubbing the back of her head in agitation.

“… Listen,” Eris clapped her mismatched hands together after an uncomfortably long stretch of silence. “I’m gonna say some things that you’re probably – well, definitely not going to like.”

“And you’re telling me this because…?” William pried edgily, eyes flickering constantly back to the silent library.

“Because then you can’t say that I didn’t warn you,” she deadpanned. “But seriously. I know how you get when you’re all huffy and puffy, and I don’t want this to go in one ear and out the other.”

“Right, firstly,” William frowned hard, his brows sinking so low that they nearly became his cheekbones. “Firstly, I’m not an idiot or a child, don’t treat me like one. Secondly, huffy?”

“I’m being serious! Just hear me out!” she crossed her arms again, tail twitching like a metronome behind her head. “Jeez, why is that so hard?”

“Alright, okay!” he held up one hoof defensively. Her skeptical look made him uncomfortable for a reason he couldn’t pin down. “I’m listening. I am.”

Eris only sighed again, running her paw through her hair.

“A’ight. Maybe…” she rubbed one arm awkwardly, staring ahead at the bare road. “Maybe we’re better off without anybody else.”

William stared at her for the longest time, utterly expressionless. She waited and waited, each second ticking by painfully slowly. At long last he finally gave a single, humorless bark that she supposed was intended as a laugh.

“I get it,” he nodded, lips twitching upward a little. “I’m not that gullible, Eris. I can’t say much for your sense of humor I’m afraid.”

“Did I not tell you that I wasn’t joking?” Eris restated slowly. “I’m dead serious.”

William did not seem to have a reply ready.

“… You see?” Eris puffed, chin in her hands. “I told you that you wouldn’t like it.”

“My god,” he breathed. “You really do mean it.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” she said emptily. “We don’t need ‘em.”

“Eris, that’s crazy!” William’s voice steadily grew louder, though he didn’t seem to notice. “There’s no way I’ll agree to that, it-it’s madness! I can’t just-just…!”

“Leave everyone behind?”

“… That’s not fair,” he answered uneasily, unable to meet her odd gaze.

“Oh, what?” she glared daggers at him, her voice bitter. “It’s not fair? Huh? It’s not fair to make someone promise and mean it to never leave, and then just vanish across all of existence? Is that right?”

“Are you still on about that?” William blinked. “Look, I already said I don’t know what happened to any other worlds or their versions of me, I didn’t-”

“Don’t give me that, you know exactly what I’m talking about!” she curled her tail around herself angrily, shooting him a filthy look and lowering her voice even further. “Do you have any idea? Just how long we looked for you? Do you?”

“This-this really isn’t a-a good time for this conversation…” William petered out weakly, desperately glancing back at the library. For some reason the look that she was giving him only grew more powerful by the second. A little voice in the back of his head called out for her to punch him – she certainly seemed like she wanted to. Or to shout again, something. Anything aside from that betrayed, hurt stare.

“Dad cried.” Eris lowered her voice again to nearly a whisper, looking away at last. “I’ve never really seen him do that before. He was… we were pretty upset. We thought you were gone forever.”

William buckled down, abandoning all hopes of entering the library peacefully. He spotted a lone figure in the distance down the road, ignoring it in favor of rubbing his temple tiredly.

“… I’m sorry.”

“Oh, you’re sorry,” she hacked out a weak laugh. “Well, that makes it A – okay then.”

“You don’t have to be so sarcastic. It’s unbecoming of you,” William said expressionlessly. “I wasn’t in my right mind.”

Eris started to snap at him again, but bit her lip after a few seconds of thought. She let out her umpteenth puff between her cheeks, wearily rubbing her eyes.

“… Yeah. I guess I should get that. Chaos sort of does that to people if they’re not used to it.”

“Hm?” he blinked. “Oh, you mean the crystal receptacle?” William asked. “No, that turned out fine, it’s fairly simple to operate with a touch of basic theoretical magic study, no different than channeling energy with another smaller, weaker focus.”

“… That just makes it worse!” Eris shouted so loudly that he nearly fell over, her fists clenched tightly. “You’re-you’re telling me that-that- you little-!”

“I was under hypnosis!” he held up his new hooves in panic, scrabbling away from the enraged draconequus.

“Oh, bullshit!”

“I was!” William insisted, feebly standing his ground. “Did Discord really not tell you anything?”

“He doesn’t tell me plenty but that sort of seems like the kind of thing he’d fucking share!” Eris turned away grumpily. “And even if you were, which I doubt, then how would he even know in the first place?”

“… I assumed he knew just about everything,” William admitted after a full ten seconds of silence.

Eris turned back to him at last, confusion on her features.

“… Why would you think that?” she tilted her head. The anger was still there, but subdued.

“Because… well… he’s still a god, right?” he rolled his tongue oddly around the word ‘god’, like it didn’t sit well with him. “I… well, I thought that he could just, y’know…”

“Have omniscience?” Eris blinked a couple of times, a wry smirk starting to show on her lips. “Uh… no. Not even close, dude.”

“… Because I asked him before how he managed to garner so much information,” William said blankly. “He said it’s because he’s a god.”

“Even gods need help,” Eris rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe – well, yeah, I can actually believe he let you think that, it is kinda funny. He can’t have his eyes everywhere at once, dude. That’s what the informants are for.”

“… Spies,” William spat in contempt.

“Agents,” she corrected him. “But back to the ‘hypnosis’ thing.”

“No,” he frowned hard. “I want to hear more about-”

“Because if you don’t have a really good excuse,” Eris said cheerfully, cracking her knuckles. “I am going to fucking wreck you.”

“Right,” William edged away nervously. “Right, of course. I was… mistakenly under the impression that Princess Luna had deliberately given me a cursed book in order to take over Equestria.”

“… That’s retarded,” she gawked.

“I know.” He nodded. “It seemed much more obvious afterward. My… senses of reasoning and comprehension were seriously altered by whatever was lurking inside the book. I really meant it when I said I wasn’t in my right mind.”

“… Cursed book.”

“Well, more like…” he struggled, holding his two front hooves in exasperation. “… I miss hands. Anyway, more like a, er, possessed journal that functioned with a piece of Princess Luna’s soul.”

“Holy shit, dude!” Eris balked. Much to his relief, all transgressions seemed to be temporarily forgotten. “You had a horcrux?!”

“A what?” William stared at her as if she were mad, which he was still thoroughly convinced that she was.

“Dude, why didn’t you tell me that shit?” the anger was swift to return. “I mean, Jesus! You’re telling me that you had something like that the whole time and never told me?!”

“I… I thought it should’ve been, um… secret,” he admitted. “I thought I was doing the… right thing…”

“Like going kill crazy on the yellow one? Fluttershy?”

William looked away miserably. She tried to meet his eyes again, but he seemed to be looking a thousand yards away. The figure in the distance had moved much closer, headed straight for the library with a rather heavy looking saddlebag, but neither of them noticed.

“… Sorry,” Eris shifted uncomfortably. “Might’ve… shouldn’t have quite phrased it like that.”

“It’s fine,” William said expressionlessly. “I indulged in a selfish litany of violence in exchange for nonexistent power, resulting in a further downward spiral. Maybe doing something like… that to someone so nice, to someone that actually cared was enough for the aspect of Nightmare Moon to gain a stronger hold.”

“… Hey, look at it this way!” Eris gave a forced smile. “Second chance. Something I never got, don’t take it for granted. You can go apologize later.”

William gave an unintelligible grunt as the mystery mare wandered right by them unnoticed, disappearing into the library.

“… So whatever happened to Nightmare book, anyway?” she fought to change the subject. “Or… possessed book… journal… spirit horcrux ghost… thing. Huh? What happened? You kill her too?”

“That’s something I sincerely wish I had never done,” William’s frown became so etched onto his face that it might as well have been paint. “Why couldn’t he take those memories out? And I didn’t kill the whole castle,” he said defensively, forcing the subject to something else. “I told you that. They were just, er… reverted.”

“Still,” Eris stated bluntly. “Gross. If it makes you feel any better, this place was way easier to fix.”

“You call this fixed?” William started, throwing a hoof around.

“Semantics,” she rolled a talon through the air. “You didn’t accidentally wipe out an entire solar system and damage your universe beyond all repair for all eternity.”

William started to reply before her words really sank in, leaving him baffled.

“… Wow,” he said, no other answer seeming anything aside from underwhelming. “That’s actually… how?”

“I dunno.” Eris shrugged and looked away. “I asked Dad to block that part up. I just know it was bad enough that I didn’t want it in my head forever.”

“… Forever.”

“Yeah, eternity,” she nudged him playfully in the side. “That’s how long we’re stuck together.”

“We?”

“And you tell me to pay attention!” Eris snorted, nearly budging him off the curb again. “Dude, that’s what I figured was going on the whole time; I thought you were just starting to turn, and your transformation just wasn’t as bad as mine. I never knew anything about this magic book bullsh-”

“Hold on, stop, stop, stop!” William demanded furiously, oblivious to the noise coming from the library behind them. “Go back, say that again?”

“Magic books are bullshit?” she blinked innocently.

“The other part! What transformation, what are you on about?”

“… Motherfucker,” Eris ran her talon through her hair in agitation. “You know, when Dad gets back we need to have a little get together. Ooh! With doughnuts-”

“Eris!”

“Right,” she said a little sheepishly. “Uh, right. You were… well-”

“Spit it out!”

“Supposed to be, y’know…” she rubbed the back of her neck with increasing awkwardness. “… Like us.”

“… Like us.”

“Draconequus…es,” Eris explained. “Dra-draconequui? Draconequuses?”

“… This is going to take some time to swallow,” William breathed, his head suddenly hurting. “I wish someone would have told me this before.”

“And now you know exactly what it feels like,” she punched him playfully. Eris then turned fully, grabbing his shoulders. “No, but, seriously. Be more open.”

“But-”

“OR I WILL SHAKE YOU LIKE A BABY,” Eris jarred him with every syllable. “We share everything from now on, understand!?”

“Eris stop, quit it! You’re going to shake my fillings loose!”

“You don’t even have fillings, now promise!” she insisted.

“Alright, okay!” he shook her off, scowling again so quickly that it might as well have been his default. “I promise, I promise.”

“Pinkie Promise?” Eris held out her pinkie on her paw.

“I don’t have pinkies,” William deadpanned, wriggling his hoof.

“Just Pinkie Promise me,” she rolled her eyes.

“I Pinkie Promise,” he tapped her outstretched finger with the edge of his hoof awkwardly. “Happy now?”

“We’d be happier if you stopped scaring away everypony.”

The two of them nearly leapt out of their skins, and William could have sworn that he heard his neck crack from the sheer swiftness of how quickly he turned his head.

The small dragon leaning on the mailbox outside the library gave them both the same slightly interested, cynical look.

“… Because you’ve been scaring away ponies for quite a while now,” Spike said slowly. “Twilight is about to go bonkers because two books have late fees now. Don’t mind her, she’s just crazy.”

“Believe you me, Spike,” William nodded sagely, refraining from looking at Eris. “I know the feeling.”

“Hey, my reputation recedes me!” the dragon gave a half-shrug. “Or proceeds, I, uh, can’t really remember. How come you’re a girl now, Discord?”

“I’m not Discord. ‘Name’s Eris, scion of mayhem and inheritor of chaos, madness incarnate!” she cracked her back before standing, towering over the little drake and sticking out her paw. “I don’t think we’ve met! You’re a cutie.”

“… Right,” Spike said with embarrassment, his frills turning a strange shade as he shook her paw. “I mean, I guess you can come in,” he started off and waved them both after him. “Twilight really wanted you gone because she thought you were Discord. He’s been kind of a pain lately. I mean, of course you could come in just about any time, it’s a library, it’s just like that, I mean-”

“You talk too much,” Eris said bluntly, patting him on the head and making him blush further. “Get the door for a lady?”

Spike clamped his jaw shut, nodding quickly and shoving the door open. What followed was an earsplitting, thunderous noise that no creature of Spike’s size should have possibly been able to make.

“TWILIGHT, IT’S NOT DISCORD, IT’S JUST SOME GIRLS THAT ARE HERE TO SEE YOU!”

“… I’m not a girl,” William shot at him, his ears still ringing.

“Oh,” Spike blinked, thoroughly unconcerned. “How come you’re pink?”

“There are lots of pink stallions!” he stamped a hoof against the floor defensively.

“Name one.”

Eris looked back and forth between the two, her giggles slipping through her fingers.

“Familiar little smartass, in’ne?” she grinned.

“Shut up, Eris.”

“It’s not Discord again?” the voice of Twilight Sparkle meandered down the stairs long before the rest of her followed. “Thank goodness, I thought we were going to have to replace another mailbox.”

“Hello, Miss Sparkle!” William greeted her cheerfully, though he was met by another face descending first. Much to his surprise, Twilight closely followed none other than Cheerilee, loaded down with a number of books spilling out of her saddlebags.

“Do you just know everypony?” Spike asked slyly.

“Shut up Spike,” William hissed under his breath before turning back to the mares. “Hello! Not busy, are you?”

“Oh, I won’t take up anypony else’s time,” Cheerilee chortled, readjusting her saddlebag as they reached the bottom of the stairs. “I know you’re a busy mare, Twilight, I won’t keep you from your job any longer.”

“Don’t worry about it, Miss Cheerilee!” Twilight replied warmly as Spike went for the door. “Anything I can do to help.”

“Oh, you’re such a dear,” the schoolteacher beamed. “I’ll have these back quick as a whip and right as rain – and thanks again!”

“See you next Wednesday!” the unicorn waved after her, standing in the doorway for a few seconds. The moment Cheerilee was out of sight, however, she slammed the door shut and whirled on Spike, her glower cold enough to freeze a bonfire.

“… What?” he shrugged.

“Why did you let Discord through the barrier, and why is he female?” Twilight’s suspicious stare was leveled directly at Eris, who seemed utterly unaffected.

“I’m not Discord,” Eris stated boredly, already sick of being confused for the elder draconequus. “And what barrier ‘you talkin’ about? We got in just fine.”

“It took a long while to develop a chaos-proof shield spell,” Twilight Sparkle explained, still uneasy around her. “More like a filter than anything. I suppose if you really were Discord it’d be a bit more obvious thanks to the alarms.”

“Christ, what’d he do this time?” Eris rolled her eyes.

“Aside from the usual?” the librarian rubbed her temples as Spike wandered off toward the kitchen. “Setting my home on fire ‘by accident’, turning all the rainclouds into cotton candy and making it a nightmare for the weather crew, making the sidewalk literally walk away and stop up traffic for two whole days, turning all the streetlights into exploding hayballs-”

“Alright, I get it,” Eris held up her hands, eyes widening. “Damn, dude’s been busy. You seen Dad lately?”

“Dad?” Twilight looked back and forth between the pair. “Discord’s your father?”

“Yeah, can’t you tell?” Eris slicked back her hair. “I have his chin.”

“Not that this isn’t a riveting conversation,” William interrupted dryly. “But we’re actually here on business, Miss Sparkle.

“And you sound like a colt,” Twilight blanched before sighing. “I suppose I should have known today would hold plenty more surprises.”

“Pink is a perfectly natural color for stallions!”

There was silence in the library, though it seemed much stiffer than usual. William cleared his throat, not intending to have begun shouting again.

“… Right,” he shifted uneasily. “I suppose re-introductions are in order.”

“Re-introductions?” Twilight’s eyes darted back to Eris, just in case.

“I suggest making some drinks and making yourself comfortable,” William said grimly. “I prefer hot tea with a spot of honey, Eris will have…”

“Pepsi,” she deadpanned.

“The same,” he continued unperturbed. “I would also suggest mentally preparing yourself and taking a seat, if you don’t mind. Miss Pie did not seem to take the information so well.”

“… What exactly is going on?” Twilight shifted slightly, her eyes never leaving them. William could see the faintest glimmer of light, albeit dim, gathering at the tip of her horn in anticipation. “Who are you two, really? What are you doing here, and what’ve you done to my friend?”

“Please calm yourself Miss Sparkle,” William shied away uneasily, quietly afraid of becoming the unwitting recipient of any rapid spells. “I – or rather, we – are perfectly willing to explain everything, but it’s likely going to take a while if you want the whole story. And I’m warning you ahead of time, Miss Sparkle; it’s a long story.”

“… I think I have the time,” Twilight’s horn alit, the ‘closed’ sign on the library window swiftly flicking around as the curtains yanked themselves shut. “This sounds like it’s going to get rather peculiar.”

“You have no idea.”

0-0-0-0-0

“Sister?”

“Yes, Luna?”

“Have the servants prepare the carriage.”

“So, then…” Celestia watched her sun settle in the sky from her balcony. “Time to strike.”

0-0-0-0-0

The World Is Not Enough

0-0-0-0-0

“This is… pretty hard to swallow,” Twilight rubbed her temples wearily.

“That’s what she said,” Eris coughed quietly into her paw. Twilight’s nearly bulging eyes seemed to be thoroughly fixated on the spot of wall between the odd pair on the sofa, like she were looking straight through the wood. Spike, who had grumpily dragged in an extra chair from the kitchen when Twilight ‘cruelly’ refused to magically summon him a lazy-colt recliner, paced in endless silent circles around it with one claw latched firmly to his chin. The day had long since passed as evening fell, the friendly chirrup of crickets outside the window muffled against the windows.

“To be fair, I did warn you,” William said slowly. The hope that the invisible weight that had been lingering on his chest might vanish was found to be fruitless, and the discomfort remained. He attributed this to the downright disturbing stare that Twilight was giving them and did his best to ignore it.

“I know, I know,” Twilight pinched her eyes shut, continuing to massage her temples to work out the headache. She desperately wished that she had sent Spike to his room, though he seemed to be taking the rather large and unsettling amount of information rather well.

Out of all of them, the only one that seemed to be even remotely relaxed was Eris, reclined comfortably on the sofa with her tail curling around the foot and wrapping its way up in vine-like fashion to her side. Unfortunately, this also happened to be close to William, and even then she still subtly tried tickling him to distract him.

“I understand if you’d like to take some time,” William continued in the same slow, calm tone, his foremost hooves placed firmly together. “We still have quite a bit of ground to cover.”

“You mean there’s more,” Twilight breathed in disbelief, leaning back in her chair across from them. “After telling me about extradimensional beings, which you both claim to be even though one of you is clearly a colt, time travel, assault of unimaginable kinds on some of my best friends-”

“Just one in particular, really…” William muttered.

“-and an alternate timeline where Rainbow Dash is your adopted mother, you absorbed some kind of ‘chaos rock’-”

“I prefer to think of it as a ‘Chaos Emerald,’” Eris chimed in and also went ignored.

“-not to mention the untold amounts of sheer lunacy of Discord being your adoptive father and Princess Luna and myself teaching you fundamental magic theory,” Twilight finished in one big puff. William was surprised that she could even breath at all after her outburst. “And then, then you want to tell me that there’s more and expect that I’ll actually believe you?”

“You don’t necessarily have to believe me, Miss Sparkle,” William cleared his throat quietly. “I sincerely trust in your judgment. I am merely relaying facts and information.”

“But why?” Twilight frowned, looking between them both in agitation and confusion. “Why me?”

“Don’t look at me,” Eris shrugged. “I wanted to take the first train out of this dump.”

“Because I believe that you alone may have the capacity to right these wrongs,” William’s almond eyes met her baffled violet ones, and she could detect a fair hint of pleading in his voice. “Something needs to be done, someone has to do something, I need to fix this.”

“To fix what?” the librarian retorted angrily, her headache only growing worse. “Are you honestly telling me, even if I did believe such an outrageous story, that I would want to change the entire world just so that you wouldn’t have to leave your comfort zone?!”

“W-well…” he shifted uneasily, suddenly feeling very bare before her cold gaze. “When, um… when you put it like that…”

“What, it sounds selfish?” Twilight watched as the colt’s jaw clenched tightly. “Well, gee, it couldn’t possibly be because you want me to deliberately ruin the lives of a large number of my friends for the sake of some colt I don’t even know, could it?”

Even the relaxed Eris finally seemed to notice the tightrope tension wrapping around their necks.

“… That’s not what I meant,” William said at long last, feebly trying to wring hands together that he didn’t have. “I just… I just want things to be normal again.”

Twilight let out a long, arduous breath, resuming the unhelpful temple massage.

“I think everypony wants that, really,” she sighed. “And I understand, I really think I do, but I can’t just change all of Equestria on a whim, and even if I could I wouldn’t. Do you understand?” Twilight watched William closely.

“… Yes ma’am.” He answered softly after the longest while, no longer able to properly meet her gaze.

“Good,” Twilight nodded, though her thoughts were clearly elsewhere. “Then that’s taken care of. I can’t say much for the rest of your crazy story, or how much more of it I can take before I go batty. Spike?”

The little drake that had been pacing nonstop around his chair finally ceased for a moment to look up at her.

“Would you kindly make some coffee?” Twilight asked tiredly. “I get the feeling it’s going to be a long night.”

“I guess,” Spike shrugged with a strange look before trundling off. The unicorn watched him drag himself away with worry, ever so slowly biting her lower lip before swiftly shaking her head.

“... I really should have sent him to bed,” Twilight said apologetically, more to herself than anything. “He’s too young to be hearing these kinds of things, I don’t want him getting… well.”

“Protective instincts,” Eris stretched lazily, unwinding her tail from the sofa leg and pulling her arms. She snapped her talons out of habit, the clicking noise grating on everyone’s ears. “Good thing for a mother to have.”

“Haa, I’m-I’m not his mother,” Twilight cleared her throat with a bit of embarrassment.

“What are we going to do?”

The librarian turned back to the miserable colt, blinking.

“What are we supposed to do?” William repeated. “How am I supposed to get my family back together now? What am I supposed to do?”

“Well…” Twilight said after a horribly uncomfortable stretch of silence. “I… suppose that you two do have to stay somewhere…”

“So Mother might take me back?” he perked up immediately.

“Rainbow Dash?” the librarian blinked again. “I don’t know.”

“Then everything will be alright after all,” William heaved a sigh of immense relief, a very rare smile perched on his lips. “Then Mother and Miss Pie and Eris and I can all get along again, and everything will be perfect once Father gets back.”

Twilight stared at him for a full beat, her mind still processing everything he’d said.

“Fa- hold on, you don’t mean Discord, right?” she frowned, stiffening up. “You mean… the other one? Klak-klis-Klask-ovsky, right?”

“Hm?” William tilted his head, smile remaining. “No, he’s very much deceased. I do mean Discord.”

“You mean he’s OUT?!” Twilight screeched in horror. “When you said he left you here, I thought…! Oh, Celestia, he’s out!”

“Who’s out?” Spike stuck his head back in through the doorway. “Coffee’s up, Twi, by the w-”

“Why didn’t you say so before?” Twilight leapt to attention, horn sparking with a purple glow. “Dear Celestia, he’s out, he’s out!”

“SIT THE FUCK DOWN!”

Everyone froze at Eris’s unexpected booming shout. She too was on her feet, mismatched hands clenched into furiously tight balls.

“Sit!” Eris repeated loudly, defensively towering over the unicorn. “We are not doing this, you hear me?!”

“A-alright, alright!” Twilight backed away a step, the light atop her horn flickering out. “Just don’t-don’t do anything rash…!”

The librarian and draconequus stared at each other for what felt like eternity, the air so thick it could have been cut with a knife.

Spike coughed loudly.

“I’m just… going back in… here now…” the miniature dragon edged away into the kitchen, eyes never leaving them.

“… Sorry,” Eris released the ball of anger in her chest at long last, blowing a lock of white hair out of her eyes. “Sorry. Really,” she held up her hands to Twilight. “Just… I know how these kinds of situations go, and we’re not doing this again. You let somebody with a gun panic and somebody gets shot, y’know…?”

Again?

“I’m… not really sure what you’re alluding to,” Twilight admitted uneasily.

“Neither of us have any power here,” Eris added quickly, flicking her thumb back and forth between herself and the stunned colt. “None, nada. We’re completely unarmed. No magic, no tricks, no need to panic. Okay?”

“I don’t think you quite understand the gravity of the situation,” Twilight frowned. “Discord is out-”

“And this should be approached in a calm and rational manner,” William said slowly. “I’m certain that Father doesn’t mean any harm to anyone.”

“Are you crazy?” Twilight snapped. “Do you have any idea of the destruction, the chaos, the terror he caused last time?”

“Not-not really…” William admitted.

“He needs to be put away,” she seethed. “He’s a criminal, you understand? A monster.”

Neither William nor Eris seemed to have any response to this, though Twilight noticed that the colt seemed to have lost all expression all at once.

“… I don’t think he’s a monster,” William said quietly.

“I beg to differ,” Twilight answered curtly, ignoring the slightly irritating click of Eris’s talons. “I need to alert the Princess immediately and get my friends immediately, this is a national emergency.”

“An excellent course of action.”

Every set of bums in the room positively ricocheted off their respective seats at the sight of none other than a surprisingly cheerful Princess Celestia with her head sticking in through the front door.

“Is that coffee I smell?” she asked optimistically, the alabaster mare’s smile growing. “A bit late, but I’d love a cup if you don’t mind.”

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight was the first to reach for the ground in a quick bow. “Thank goodness you’re here! I mean, and just in time, it’s almost…!”

“Hold on a bit, would you?” Celestia said swiftly behind herself, still not opening the door all the way before turning back. “Yes, my faithful student, we do have quite a bit to discuss, and it’s rather urgent. I see you’ve already introduced yourself to the Chaos Spawn,” the smile was still plastered onto her face as she turned to Eris and William for a moment.

Eris gave a mocking half-salute. William, on the other hand, looked as if he were going to be ill.

“Is that Princess Celestia?” Spike’s voice echoed from the kitchen.

“Would you mind terribly if we had a little chat?” Celestia kindly asked the overjoyed librarian. “There are some things for your ears only.”

“Of-of course, of course!” Twilight beckoned her into the kitchen, eagerness in her eyes. “Absolutely Princess, right away!”

“Excellent,” she trotted in at last. “It shouldn’t take long, I’ve been meaning to catch up with you for so long…” she trailed off, but William didn’t notice anything else she said. His senses seemed to have failed when he saw what Celestia had been hiding behind herself.

In the dark of the night William could still clearly see the royal carriage gleaming proudly in the moonlight, the stationed guardsponies and reigned pegasi all standing at attention. He could hear words, certainly, but none of them seemed to make any sense. If anything it was as if his mind was shutting down bit by bit, quivering in terror at the sheer fury radiating off of Princess Luna. The very ground seemed to tremble with every silent step as she approached without a whisper, the darkness seemingly enveloping them from the walls themselves as silence fell in the library.

Princess Luna leaned in ever so gently to the pair, wings tightly at her side and a cold rage so intense wafting from her that the air seemed to chill when she approached to speak a single line that brought the chill in the air straight into his chest. Just a few simple words that only they could hear, but still managed to shake him to his core.

“I remember everything.”

“… Oh-”

William was quite blunt in his terrified response, which most certainly wasn’t ‘oh dearie me.’

0-0-0-0-0

“You have ten seconds to tell me why you did this,” Princess Luna magically snapped the door shut, a grimly wavering shadow lurking just over their heads. “And then I’m going to execute you both.”

“Don’t-don’t you mean, ‘or’?” Eris gulped.

“No.”

“What do you mean?” William backed into the sofa as hard as he could, as if he could sink through it away from Luna’s intense gaze.

“Eight seconds.”

“I-I don’t know!” he flinched as he felt himself being yanked into the air by an invisible noose, Eris wordlessly flailing midair out of the corner of his eye.

“Five seconds.”

“W-why are you doing this?” he managed to choke in terror, kicking wildly at a floor that wasn’t there anymore. The invisible noose around his neck grew tighter, and tighter, each breath harder and harder to take. His heart was pounding in his ears, the suddenly very real possibility of death not quite what he’d been expecting. There was no mercy in her eyes, no compassion. Only cold, boiling anger, controlled and funneled to a razor point.

“… Time’s up.”

“Lu~na,” Celestia called from the other room. “Would you like two lumps or three in your coffee?”

“Not now, Tia,” Luna answered through gritted teeth.

“Lu, this is of national importance here…”

“Not now, sister!” she turned back to the dangling pair, unconcerned of the strange shades they were beginning to turn. “No answer, Chaos Spawn?”

“Night… mare… Moon…!” Eris managed to choke out at last, scrabbling furiously at the magical grip around her neck. The chokehold they were held in instantly vanished, sending them both crashing loudly to the floor where they gasped for breath. William felt himself roughly jerked up by the shoulders, Eris quickly following suit in her magical grasp as Luna’s icy rage was redirected.

“Say that again.”

“I-I-I,” William struggled, eyes stinging. “You d-don’t, I-she-”

“Brainwashed,” Eris injected quickly, the unseen hand around her neck making itself felt once again. “But I wasn’t involved, you should let me go!”

“Eris!”

“What?”

“Get to it!” Luna shook them both hard with her telekinetic grasp. “What do you mean, brainwashed?”

“Under Nightmare Moon’s control!” William blurted quickly.

“Liar!” she spat furiously, yanking them both into the air again. “The spirit is gone, you deceive me!”

“It’s true!” he insisted desperately, insistent on regaining sweet touch with the ground again. “She was in my head, I was-was controlled, honest!”

”It’s getting co~old…!

“Nightmare Moon is no more,” Luna spat. “The beast was cast out!”

“It must have been the Journal you gave me,” William kept talking, desperate to stay alive. He didn’t even know for sure, he was simply frantic to keep the enraged princess preoccupied.

“What do you know of the Book of Dreams?” her eyes narrowed sharply. “What have you done with it?”

“I-I don’t know,” he answered honestly, which might not have been a wise decision after all.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Luna barked. “What have you done, Klaskovsky? Explain! Now!”

“I beat Nightmare Moon!” William answered instantly.

“Lies! Again!” the princess spat furiously.

Eris, still dangling midair, hysterically tried to pull herself up by the very magical noose that held her aloft, to disappointing results.

“It’s true, it is!” William nodded the best he could.

“There is no ‘beating’ Nightmare Moon, even if you were telling the truth!” Luna scowled at him. “Even the weakest aspect can only be exorcised, the spirit is immortal.”

“Obviously not, I ate it!”

That, of all things, seemed to get Luna’s attention.

Her mouth hung slightly agape at him in disbelief, and she turned that same dubious stare to Eris before turning back to him.

“… I’m… just going back in here now…” Spike coughed awkwardly into his claws, backing away from the sight into the kitchen. William tried calling out to him for help, but nothing seemed to be passing through his throat. Eris smacked the sides of her own throat as loudly as she could, making a face a bit like a fish from the lack of air.

Once more they found themselves plummeting to the ground. William hardly noticed the impact this time around, his mind still foggy from the relief of free breathing again. They were allowed a moment of weak gasping before relentlessly being yanked upward again, but this time Luna physically held him up by his shoulders and forced his gaze to her.

“Look into my eyes, Chaos Spawn,” she said slowly, her vibrant blue orbs suddenly seeming a million miles deep. “Did you truly, honestly do something that mad, as reckless as attempting to devour an aspect of Nightmare Moon?”

William found it difficult to speak, and he wanted to look anywhere else except for the Princess.

“No explanation. Just a yes or a no.”

“… Yes.”

“There are biscuits as well!” Princess Celestia stuck her tiara free head in through the doorway, levitating a cup of coffee beside herself. “You’d better hurry if you want any, Lulu, they’re magnificent.”

William felt something strange occurring to himself, something bizarre and unsettling; it was almost as if a bucket of live eels were wriggling around in his stomach, fighting and biting their way out and through his veins. It was over the moment Luna released him from her spell, however, and she looked him over a moment longer before turning to her elder sister.

“That sounds lovely, Tia,” Luna said quietly as if nothing had happened. “But I’m afraid we’re on a bit of a tight schedule…”

William strained to focus, but it felt as if his entire body was made out of lead. His limbs seemed attached to the floor, though whether it was from sheer exhaustion or whatever strange magic the Princess had performed he wasn’t sure. Either way the odd feeling in his belly seemed to subtly rise up and into his chest, slipping away when he tried to pay attention to it.

“Oh, darn,” Celestia nodded. “My student, I’m afraid I must depart – but do keep in mind what I told you?”

“Absolutely!” the vague voice of Twilight Sparkle seemed to be underwater, and he could nearly make out Eris shouting something beside him. Or perhaps she wasn’t shouting anything – William couldn’t quite seem to hear anything aside from the quiet and irregular drumming of his heart and the faint, pleasantly warm and welcoming dream enveloping him.

0-0-0-0-0

”I think that one looks like a Wonderbolt. Did I ever tell you I’ve always wanted to join the Wonderbolts?”

“A million times.”

”What do you think that one looks like?”

“Hm… a giraffe, I think,” William pointed up at the early morning sky, the sun barely beginning to kiss the horizon. The grass tickled the back of his neck, and Rainbow Dash’s soft giggle delighted his ear.

“What are you talking about?” she grinned. “That’s definitely not a giraffe, see that blotchy part there?” Dash pointed at the thin cloud. “That’s gotta be the butt, right? So maybe it could be a giraffe with no neck.”

“Maybe if you look at it from the side…” he answered determinedly, tilting his head.

“Nope, still not right,” Dash giggled again. “I was thinking a ship, it looks nothing like a giraffe. Hey, what do you think would be worse, having the neck of a giraffe, or that one’s puffy butt?”

William thought for a moment, tracing a circle around the cloud with his finger and thinking.

“I think it would be worse to have the neck,” he pondered aloud. “Because then you’d have to worry about doorways all the time.”

“Ha! I guess you’re right,” she lay more firmly on her back, holding up one hoof and tracing the same cloud as him until her hoof was holding his hand. “I think it’d be worse to have the butt, ‘cause of how hard it’d make it to fly. Can you imagine the drag, though?”

William let out a rare little chuckle, the thought utterly ludicrous to him.

“I’d rather not,” he smiled. “What about that one?”

“That’s definitely a mushroom,” Rainbow Dash said instantaneously. “I am so positive. It’s one o’ those shitty-take mushrooms, you can tell because of the stem thingy down there.”

“Do-do you mean shitake mushroom?” William had to fight the uncharacteristic giggle back down.

“… So THAT’S why the guys at the Neighponese restaurant kept laughing at me,” Dash laughed aloud. “Hey, y’know what, squirt? Me and you need to go back to that place some time, it’ll be great.”

“What about Miss Pie?”

“Who said she has to know…?” Dash nuzzled his cheek.

“Has to know what?”

William and Rainbow Dash sat bolt upright, nearly blinded by the rising sun. Pinkie Pie leaned curiously over them, beaming widely as the sun warmed the little hilltop.

“Oh, nothing,” Dash waved it away with a wide smile. “Will was just talking about you, actually!”

“Just what were you guys talkin’ about?” Pinkie plopped down chipperly between them.

“Oh, you know…” William coughed awkwardly into his hand. “Giraffe butts.”

“… Giraffe butts,” Pinkie stared at him.

“And shitty mushrooms,” Dash interjected.

“Shitake mushrooms…” William started, only for the pegasus to lean over Pinkie laughing and ruffle his hair.

“Don’t correct your Mother, Squirt!” she made Pinkie titter loudly when she stepped on her belly, their laughter mingling with his own. “I’m a mom, moms know everything!”

“Where’d you hear something crazy like that?” Pinkie poked the pegasus in her own belly, making her giggle and fall over.

“Uh… my mom.”

“Time to go get dressed for school, Will!” Dash’s voice sounded watery and off in his ears. The blinding sunlight only seemed to grow brighter the longer he avoided the glare of the sun, like it was burning through his eyelids. “Will, are you listening? Can you even hear me? William? William? William? Wi-”

“-lliam? Will?”

“Whuzzat?” he blearily cracked open his eyes, the blistering headache instantly magnified. A pungent stench was stuck in his nose, and he couldn’t put his finger on what it was even if he had fingers.

“Oh, thank god,” Eris breathed at long last, her grip on him loosening. “I kind of thought you were gonna be asleep for a while, I really wasn’t in the mood to take care of a vegetable.”

A rapid scan revealed that at some point he had been moved back to the sofa, though not much else aside from the absence of the princesses seemed to have changed. That, and the steadily growing headache that urged him to close his eyes again.

“… What happened?” he asked as he tried to pinch the spot between his eyes where it hurt the most. It was difficult to think properly for several moments, the foul mutterings of Eris sounding suspiciously like ‘slaughter that whore with a spoon’ still ringing in his ears. “How long was I out for?”

“A few minutes,” Eris finally released him, the relief clear in her voice. “The rich bitches ditched as soon as you hit the floor.”

“Okay…” William said wearily, the sound of Twilight carrying on a rather excited conversation with what seemed to be Spike in the kitchen reaching them. “But what happened?”

“Uh…” she blinked. “Nothing, really. I mean, I threw a lamp at her and she threatened to murder my family, but you really didn’t miss much. Miss Brown Nose in there said there were some ‘friends’ on the way.”

“Mother’s coming?” he sat up swiftly and promptly wished that he hadn’t. “When, how soon?”

“Whoa, cool your jets, dude,” Eris rolled her eyes.

“Did the smelling salts do the trick?” Twilight was quick to reappear with another floating cup of coffee.

“Yep,” Eris nodded, resuming her ‘relaxed’ pose without pause. “They did the trick alright, he’s good.”

William turned a bewildered look to the draconequus, but she subtly shook her head with a frown.

“I suppose you’ll both be staying in the guest room tonight, we’re going to round up everypony in the morning for a get together since it’s not quite the emergency I was afraid it was. Isn’t it amazing how Princess Celestia always seems to be in the right place at the right time?” she carried on, quietly noting the concerned frown Eris wore. “Probably just overexcited,” the librarian chuckled, passing them each a small mug. “Colts, you know.”

“… No, I don’t, actually,” she admitted. Although William defiantly wanted to insist that she answer him, he bit his tongue and carefully attempted to hold the mug between his hooves. “I’m kind of new to the whole ‘talking horses’ thing myself, I have no idea about this place.”

“Really?” Twilight settled into the chair across from them. William wanted to scream at her, wanted to shout and rage and demand to know why she hadn’t done anything when the princess was literally strangling the answers out of them.

“It’s mainly a female dominated society,” William answered her, his voice weak in Eris’s ears. “Think of the male and female roles you’re adjusted to reversed, and that’s Equestria in a nutshell.”

“I’ve got all sorts of books on equine subjects if you’d like me to show them to you!” Twilight informed the draconequus cheerfully. “History, philosophy, politics, anatomy, you name it-!”

“No, I’m good,” Eris frowned, clicking her talons out of habit. “I’m not much of a ‘reading’ person myself.”

“… Well, to each her own,” she gave a halfhearted shrug. “You can lead a pony to a library but you can’t make her read.”

“I can’t read your language at all, actually,” Eris blinked.

“YOU CAN’T READ?!” Twilight gasped aloud as if it were the worst imaginable thing she could have possibly said.

“Not that that this isn’t lovely and all,” William interrupted in the same weak voice. “But if you don’t mind, Miss Sparkle, I’d really like to rest now. Do you mind?”

“Hm?” she gave a disappointed tilt of her head, let down that she didn’t get the chance to share any of her books. “Oh, it’s quite alright… William, you said? Guest room is-”

“Up the stairs, second on the left,” he murmured wearily, surprising her as he rose. “I know.”

He had hardly started wobblingly hauling himself up the stairs than Eris too lurched up from the couch, giving an utterly unconvincing stage yawn.

“Yep, I’m pretty tuckered out too, what with the, uh… excitement and all…” Eris rolled her shoulders, ignoring the dissatisfied eyes of Twilight Sparkle, who would have to hold onto her lesson for another day. “I’mma hit the hay too. Whoo, boy, tired am I, weary as can be!” she called down the stairs as she noisily followed the pink colt.

0-0-0-0-0

“… This is ridiculous,” Luna said after a painful stretch in which neither of them said anything. The slight vibration of the royal carriage grew on the turbulence, but neither of them noticed.

“You have to,” Celestia answered smarmily. “Those are the rules.”

“It’s not about the bits,” Luna scowled, dropping the small bag into her sister’s outstretched hoof. “It’s the principle.”

“Yes, and you lost,” she said with a grin. “I told you it wasn’t something to get all worked up about, that’s what you get for not listening to your older sister in the first place.”

“Oh, by five minutes,” the princess of the night rolled her eyes. She sat fuming against the window, her brows furrowed. “You can stop bringing it up now, I’ve told you.”

“And I told you not to play rough with them. Didn’t I?” Celestia pried smugly.

“They’re lucky I didn’t pop their stupid little heads off like dandelions!” Luna bellowed in fury. “After what they did to us, the monstrous brats!”

“And was I right, or was I right?” Celestia picked at her, grinning. “It was mind control, wasn’t it? Hmm? I was right? I told you I was right, you’re not answering Lulu. I was right, huh? Huh? You gonna tell me?” she giggled, poking her younger sibling in the shoulder. “Huh? C’mon. Tell me. You lost, you’ve gotta tell me.”

“Yes,” Luna harrumphed, crossing her forelegs together in quiet anger. “You were right. Are you happy now?”

Celestia made a strange face, having difficulty hiding her smirk and shakily moaning and arching her back against the seat.

“Now I am,” Celestia laughed. “Titans, it feels good to tell you I told you so.”

“You’re despicable,” Luna deadpanned, staring ahead at the velvet wall of the carriage.

“I’m not the one who marehandled a couple of defenseless youngsters.” Celestia’s ‘I told you so’ tone seemed permanently stuck, only serving to agitate Luna further. “Did you at least manage to get it back?”

“The idiot swallowed it.”

“… The whole book?”

“No, not the book!” Luna pushed her, rolling her eyes again. “The sliver of myself I used to activate the Book of Dreams must have still contained some aspect of Nightmare Moon, and instead of absorbing information about Discord like it was supposed to, it somehow manipulated the Chaos Spawn into feeding it and eventually took what are you doing?”

Celestia was waving her forehooves together in what appeared to be the Macarena, grinning widely.

“Doing the ‘I was right’ dance,” she answered without pausing. “You know. Because I was right.”

“You’re an idiot,” Luna deadpanned again.

“You’re too uptight,” Celestia nudged her playfully, finally earning a tiny wriggle of her upper lip from Luna, though it was gone quickly.

“Excuse me if I’m still a little irritated from having a hundred royal guards and my sister inside me!” she scowled so hard that her jaw hurt. “Do you know how many subconscious nightmares I’ve had to repress because of that incident? Ugh, I still feel so… so filthy.”

“That happens,” her sister replied optimistically, ceasing her ‘dance’. “Probably from having a hundred stallions inside you all at once.”

Luna started to answer before she caught the wry grin on Celestia’s face and sighed heavily, turning back to her position of staring ahead.

“You’re revolting,” Luna shook her head in defeat.

“And you need to get laid,” Celestia giggled.

“This is serious, Tia. I couldn’t get it out of him, Discord must have placed some strange aura or enchantment on his Spawn to prevent it. I wonder why, though… we’re bringing that up the next time we summon him, and this time in an explosion-proof room.”

“You’re awfully interested in getting inside that colt. It’s kind of creepy.”

“Agh! Will you ever just grow up?”

“Not in a thousand years!” she tackled her, laughing manically.

One of the pegasi pulling the royal chariot shook his head, frowning.

“… Awfully bad turbulence tonight,” he said sleepily, earning a confused look from the stallion beside him.

“Turbulence?” he gawked, wondering precisely what the royal monarchs were doing that was causing the whole carriage to rattle and shake so ferociously, or why it seemed to be emitting high pitched giggles and angry shouting.

“Turbulence.”

“… Oh. Right. Turbulence.”

0-0-0-0-0

Eris lost sight of him before she had a chance to catch up, and her eyes wandered the darkened hall. A number of perfectly aligned pictures adorned the wall, many of either Spike, Twilight, her friends and family, or a large combination. One picture even had what looked like an entire small village all smiling in front of a barn, though it looked very out of place on the wall.

Second on the left…

The guest room door stood slightly ajar, and Eris let herself in freely before nudging it shut with her tail. The figure of a lone colt slumped resignedly on the edge of a small but comfortable looking bed could be seen through the shadows. For a moment Eris was confused at his silent laughter as she approached, uncertain of what he found so funny. It wasn’t until she dropped unceremoniously next to him that it became uncomfortably obvious that his shoulders weren’t shaking from amusement.

He didn’t say anything as she gently tucked her tail around his shoulder, pulling him warmly closer. He didn’t make a single noise, not a peep came out of him as he cried, but he still shook like he’d been sitting in ice, and no amount of warmth she tried to offer would melt it.

He shook for a long time.

William tried to think of something to say. Eris said nothing either, only sitting beside him in silence and holding him close long after the wretched trembling had stopped. All the questions that had been flooding his mind seemed so far away and unimportant. If anything it felt like the weight from earlier had returned with friends, like he’d been anchored down and his thoughts themselves were fogged from the heaviness.

“… Eris,” he spoke at last. “There’s so much – I, I c-cant-”

“Will.” She pulled him a bit tighter, as if willpower alone could heat the bucket of ice in his belly. “You don’t have to say anything. I understand. Just shut up and hug me. M‘kay?”

“… Okay. Eris?”

“Mm?” she tilted her head, a little surprised that for once he was actually hugging her back.

For a long moment, he considered telling her. It was right on the tip of his tongue, practically screaming to break out; the weight in his chest demanded that he release some of the pressure, anything at all for relief – but deep down he knew that there would be no such thing from any of the words crossing his mind, and this only seemed to make the weight grow a little bit more each time it occurred to him. But perhaps there really was no way to say it. Maybe he shouldn’t, despite how badly the weight ached. It almost felt like his chest might collapse if he didn’t.

“… I’m glad that you’re here, Eris.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the whole entire world.”

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

Muse - Undisclosed Desires

Hard Knock Life

0-0-0-0-0

William jerked uselessly at the bindings around his wrists, eyes whirling about in a mad sprint.

“You’ll thank me later, just trust me,” Rainbow Dash pulled at the rope, drawing it taut with her teeth. She grew further away with every pull, the pain in his shoulder intense. He yanked as hard as he could, but to no avail; at his other side, Luna did the same. She looked at him with cold eyes as she pulled in the opposite direction, the blue stark against the sandy banks that enveloped them.

“Stop! Stop, please!” he begged, desperately trying to hold on as tightly as he could as she pulled harder at the binding. He could have sworn that his shoulders popped, and his back arched automatically with a white hot sting. Every pull felt like he was ripping just a little bit more, like wet cardboard.“It hurts, stop! Stop! Please!”

Pull. Rip.

“You said you were mine!” Eris’s visage appeared at his ankle, roughly yanking at the rope there with a snarl. “Mine! No sharing, mine mine mine!”

Pull. Rip.

His last leg was allowed a single feeble kick before Discord snatched it between two talons, staring disapprovingly down at him.

Pull. Rip.

“You really should have kept yourself together,” he tutted. “One disappointment after another.”

“Stop! Stop, please!” William shrieked, something tearing with a sickening sound. “Stop it, all of you, please, it hurts! It hurts!”

The form of yet another Luna, darker and familiar leaning over him from the side appeared briefly; so dark, so serious and unhappy.

“How very… peculiar.”

RIP.

0-0-0-0-0

“Might as well make more, Spike,” Twilight yawned. “We’re going to need it.”

“Another pot?” he frowned, bundling off regardless. “Alright, alright – we’re gonna have to restock before morning comes if this keeps up, you know that!”

“Yes, thank you Spike,” Twilight sighed, dropping wearily into the chair across from Applejack and a very sleepy looking Pinkie Pie. The latter of the two sat holding her hooves together, tapping against the floor in an irregular pattern. Whether it was out of nervousness or something else, Twilight wasn’t quite sure.

“… Fluttershy’s late,” Applejack tilted her Stetson hat downward, concealing her features.

“You know how difficult it is to wake up Rainbow Dash once she starts dozing off…” Rarity defended quietly from the corner, incapable of making herself comfortable on the unnaturally itchy summoned chair. Spike seemed rather upset about it for some reason, but hadn’t said another word on it since Rarity claimed it.

“Still,” the farmpony shifted uneasily. “It’s been a while. Can’t go expectin’ me to not get a little jumpy when you go waking us all up at these hours.”

“They are still asleep, right, Twi?” Pinkie pried anxiously, eyes darting back up the stairs. “You’re positive?”

“Neither one of them are going to be waking up tonight after the sleeping charms I placed on them,” Twilight nodded to reassure her. “I made certain of it. I’ve also taken the liberty of magically scanning them both multiple times.”

“But you’re sure?” Pinkie leaned forward, her bedhead mane seeming to deflate a little more with each passing minute. “You’re positive?”

“I took every precaution,” the librarian nodded firmly again. “I am very thorough.”

Applejack tilted her hat to the side, scratching her head with the side of her hoof. Half of them jumped at the sudden clatter echoing from the kitchen as Spike busied himself, a number of words he certainly wasn’t supposed to know barely suppressed.

“… Expanding his vocabulary, at least,” Twilight said sheepishly.

“Still don’t see what all the fuss is about,” Applejack eyed the window curtains again as if she could sense the pegasi approaching before she saw them. “Just from a couple o’ folks wandering in.”

“AJ, we’ve been over this,” Twilight’s brows furrowed. She too had to fight to keep her hooves from tapping the ground, and temporarily considered turning down the miracle brew that would hopefully keep her more alert for the long night ahead. “Even the Princess agrees, they could be problematic.”

“And I thought you said they were harmless?” Applejack cocked an eyebrow.

“No, I said powerless,” she corrected her. “They have information, and knowledge is most certainly dangerous. Especially with what I’ve heard tonight.”

“I’ll attest to that,” Pinkie tilted her head forward once, an unnatural frown set on her face. “They… know things.”

“I’m afraid I’m with Applejack on this one, dear,” Rarity graciously accepted the steaming mug from the silent drake, carefully carrying a clattering platter to each of them. “If they’re really not such a bother, why not just leave them be?”

“Darn straight,” Applejack agreed. “Never did like the idea of stickin’ my nose into somepony else’s business and where in the heck is Fluttershy?”

“I’m-I’m sure she’s just a bit behind,” Twilight bit her tongue. “It was very kind of her to volunteer to gather everypony else, just give her a few minutes. We can discuss the… rest when she gets back with Rainbow.”

“I still don’t like this,” Pinkie thought aloud. “I don’t like this, I don’t like them being in the same house as me, I don’t like the situation, I don’t like this at all.”

“Likewise…” Rarity deadpanned. “Can we not resume this sometime in the morning? Preferably after I’ve had my beauty sleep?”

“Gonna have to sleep for a long time if you’re shootin’ to be pretty…” Applejack coughed loudly into her hoof to hide her grin. Rarity only shot her an unamused glare.

“Did Princess Celestia say anything else?” Pinkie gnawed her bottom lip. “She already knew about Discord?”

“That was the weird thing…” Twilight answered slowly, pondering. “I’m probably just over thinking it again though. Princess Celestia just has this way of being in the right place at the right time.”

A couple of quick raps at the library door had Pinkie Pie on her hooves in a matter of seconds, literally sprinting toward the door and yanking it open without even taking a breath.

“It’s about time-!” she let out a sigh of relief that caught in her chest as she took in the sight.

“Hi, guys!” the familiar grey mailmare beamed widely at them all, giving a friendly wave.

“… Derpy?” Twilight approached in confusion, swiftly eyeing a very cross looking Rainbow Dash close behind with an extremely haggard Fluttershy.

“Oh goodness, oh goodness,” Fluttershy was hurriedly ushered in by Rainbow Dash, her messy mane flying into her eyes. “I’m so sorry, I am so very sorry everypony, I hope I’m not very late!”

“She got lost,” Dash rolled her eyes, giving a grateful nod to the mailmare. Derpy saluted proudly, her already wide smile growing.

“On the way to Dash’s?” Twilight blinked in concern, looking back and forth between the trio of pegasi.

“Um… it’s still very dark out…” Fluttershy pretended to straighten her mane ashamedly.

“It’s really not that far-” Pinkie started as she reclaimed her seat, but spotted Rainbow Dash subtly shaking her head and fell silent. Fluttershy only hanged her head in embarrassment.

“Thanks again, Derpy,” Dash nodded to the golden eyed pegasus. “We can take it from here. See you tomorrow, a’ight?”

“Alrighty, Rainbow Dash!” Derpy nodded enthusiastically, trotting off without another word. The door was quietly reclosed, the chill of the night air locked out at last.

“… Derpy,” Twilight balked at them.

“Um, yes,” Fluttershy shifted uneasily on the welcome mat in front of the door, uncertain of where she should even be. “It was very lucky I ran into her, I’d looped around by the Everfree by accident when I was looking for Dash’s place.”

“There really aren’t many cloud houses near Ponyville,” Twilight frowned, ignoring the same look that Dash was giving her that she did Pinkie Pie. “And by the Everfree? How did you manage to fly that far without noticing? And what was Derpy of all ponies doing out in the middle of the night, and just so happened to be nearby?”

“Twi-” Dash started uncomfortably.

“You don’t think that’s a bit of a coincidence?” the librarian pushed on, the already furiously blushing mare turning an even deeper shade of red. “Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“Just drop it, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash stated firmly and gave a rapid paw at the floor in agitation. “You wanted us all here in the dead of night for something big, right? Flutters wouldn’t tell me until we got here, said you wanted to tell me yourself.”

“Well, yes-”

“So spit it out already!” Dash stretched her wings, flopping unceremoniously onto the sofa between Applejack and Pinkie Pie.

“… Alright then,” Twilight began to pace, wordlessly offering the remaining seat to Fluttershy and continuing her march. “For those of you who are not already aware-”

“Which I’m guessing is just me,” Dash interrupted.

“- We have a bit of a problem,” she continued as if she hadn’t heard. “I really am loathe to say this because it makes me sick to my stomach, but Discord has started something huge. I’m not sure how, but he managed to slip through the barriers between worlds, I thought even he couldn’t-”

“He’s what?!” Rainbow Dash shrieked, wings flaring hard and smacking both her couchmates.

“I told you that you’d panic,” Fluttershy did her best to soothe the raging pegasus. “You see, this is why I didn’t-”

“We’ve got to do something!” Dash slammed her hooves together wrathfully. “Now! What did he do this time? Did he go after the Princesses?”

“No, he-”

“Is he messing with Equestria again? I swear, if he even thinks about Cloudsdale-”

“No, Dash-”

“Is he trying to brainwash everypony?!” Rainbow Dash’s shouting grew more intense. “That bastard, I’ll tear him a new one!”

“Rainbow Dash!”

The pegasus flinched at Twilight’s shout, gradually settling back down between the irate mares on the sofa.

“It’s not any of that,” Twilight explained slowly. “The Princesses are fine, Cloudsdale is fine, and I’m pretty sure that nopony here has been brainwashed.”

“… Then what’s going on?” Rainbow Dash glanced around the room, noting the odd looks that her friends seemed to all share.

“… He’s had foals.”

If Twilight was expecting some kind of awed gasp of shock, she was sorely disappointed.

“… Seriously?” the pegasus blinked, looking back and forth between the silent and serious group. “Are-are you serious?”

“Yes, you see-”

“You woke me up,” Dash jabbed a hoof angrily in Twilight’s direction, though Fluttershy cringed hard as if it were her own fault. “Woke me up in the middle of the night, had me worried sick thinking somepony was dead or dying, and all you have to say is ‘he had foals’?”

“It’s more serious than that, Rainbow,” Twilight scowled, resuming her pacing that she didn’t even realize had paused.

“Oh joy,” Rainbow Dash deadpanned. “So maybe this wasn’t a complete waste of oof!”

“Hush that,” Applejack muttered, “Or I’ll give y’another jab in the ribs.”

“At fourteen hundred hours yesterday,” Twilight began seriously, pretending that Rarity wasn’t rolling her eyes. “A strange occurrence was noticed near Ponyville Lake. Some sort of ripple-”

“As lakes do,” Dash interjected.

“-That somehow caused an… alteration across Equestria,” Twilight continued. “Nopony is even certain of what it was or what occurred, but it spread outward from that point, like nothing that’s ever occurred before. Even the Princess was baffled, though it seems to have been mostly harmless.”

They had all fallen completely silent by this point, every set of eyes following her closely. Twilight cleared her throat awkwardly, suddenly feeling very tense.

“R-right,” she pressed on regardless. “At sixteen hundred hours, approximately two hours later, I was visited by these ‘foals’ of Discord’s. Both of whom had identical and very strange stories, insisting that some sort of time warp had occurred and that Discord had left them both here to fend for themselves.”

She fell silent for a moment, noticing the almost graveyard like silence that loomed over them.

“… And?” Applejack leaned in attentively.

“They’re still here,” Twilight added solemnly. “And although they seem to be without any sort of power, you know what Discord is like and what he’s capable of. They could both still be extremely dangerous, or worse, lulling us into a false sense of security for something bigger.”

“Alright,” Dash held up a hoof, taking a deep breath. “And keep in mind that this is me saying this, but don’t you think you’re being a little paranoid? What, you think they’re spies or something?”

“I think that if they’re cause enough to convince Princess Celestia that they should have eyes on them, then they might know even more than they’re letting on. They claim to be from two years of our time in the future, for crying out loud!” Twilight threw her hoof up in the air. “Do you have any idea what kind of problems that could cause, having knowledge of future events like that?”

“It could cause quite a stir, yes.”

Six heads snapping in unison whipped toward the top of the stairs, a small pink colt sitting quietly and listening to them all with an expressionless look on his face.

“… You’re awake,” Twilight breathed quietly.

“Indeed,” William nodded once.

“Why?” she asked bluntly, a little stunned. “I put a double layer on the sleeping charm, how are you awake?”

“Double layered charm, really?” he asked, tentatively pulling himself down backward a single step. “Clever, a bit more to imitate natural sleeping cycles. I first assumed it was a Zebrican rapid resting hex, generally much quicker to perform but terribly difficult to undo. Eris is still out cold, by the way.”

“… How are you awake?”

“No idea,” William answered honestly. He carefully pulled himself downward another step one leg at a time. “Rather odd, I should think. I had a very strange new dream, perhaps that had something to do with it. I’ve only had one dream in particular every night for quite a while, so something new is a bit strange to me. Then again, everything’s a bit new and strange to me, considering, it’s like I’m a whole new person. And apparently I’m the sort of new person that just shoots off at the gob, goodness me, that’s all I’ve been doing, how is everyone?”

“… That’s what you’re afraid of?” Rainbow Dash scoffed, turning back to Twilight as William struggled to pull himself backwards down another step without falling. “Seriously? A little filly?”

“I’m not a filly,” William frowned, cautiously taking another step down. “And I remember these stairs being much easier to go up. Forgive me for taking a while, I’m not used to having four legs.”

“Not really quite what I was expecting,” Applejack admitted aloud. “You had me thinkin’ they’d be a bit more like, you know, Discord. Not actual foals.”

“Eris really is a draconequus,” William added from the stairs, finally nearing the bottom. “She’s also a bit mad, but I suppose that just comes naturally. Also, good to see you again Mother, I’m eager to meet the you before I knew you.”

None of them seemed to have a real response to him, and Pinkie Pie point blank refused to acknowledge him. Rainbow Dash slowly pointed at herself the longer he stared at her, eyebrows gradually rising.

“… You’re talking to me?” she had a sudden fit of giggles. “Sorry, squirt, I’m nopony’s momma; and I think I’d remember something as embarrassing as giving birth to a groundie.”

The pegasus was promptly rib-jabbed from both sides, but it was too late.

“… Well,” William blinked as if it hadn’t even phased him. “Wow. That’s extremely disappointing, to say the least. I honestly don’t think anything’s going to surprise me anymore. On to the next bit of business, then!”

“What she means is,” Pinkie started apologetically, flushing as he finally and excruciatingly slowly reached the bottom of the stairs, looking a bit silly as he crawled backwards. “She means that having foals is something kind of memorable, and, um…”

“That didn’t come out quite the way I meant it to…” Dash gave an awkward humorless half laugh.

“Quite alright, no harm no foul,” William took a deep breath, straightening an invisible tie. “Excuse me, Spike? Would you mind bringing me a cup of that coffee as well? It smells lovely.”

“Get it yourself!” the miserable stutter came back from the kitchen, earning a sigh from Twilight.

“… Go easy on him,” she said tiredly. “Spike’s a bit, erm…”

“Shellshocked?” William provided helpfully. He jumped a bit in surprise at the sound of Spike snorting directly behind him, leaning warily against the doorframe.

“That’s a word for it,” he held up a steaming mug that seemed too big for him. “I just learned a lot of things all at once that I now have to deal with, like Discord being on the loose, the future being changed at random, the world could be coming to an end without any warning and everything I know might very well all be a lie.”

Even William was left speechless at the drake’s outburst. He noticed that his jaw was hanging slightly agape, and was swift to close it.

“I… I didn’t-” Twilight began uncomfortably.

“You didn’t ask,” Spike stated bluntly. “Do you guys mind keepin’ the girl chat down? This is supposed to be a library, remember?”

“There’s no need to be rude,” Twilight frowned, and looked like she wanted to say more but her assistant was already gone, retreating to the sanctity of the room adjacent.

“… You aren’t supposed to be awake,” Pinkie tried changing the subject with difficulty, trying not to look directly at William while speaking to him.

“And you,” he leaned in cheerfully, giving an odd eye to Twilight. “You lied to me. Downright cheeky, you are! Sleeping charms, sneaking about in the middle of the night – quite suspicious of you. One might almost think that you were up to something, so distrustful. But enough of that, what are we on about, hmm?”

None of them answered. William took a glance around at each of them in turn, his false enthusiasm fading fast.

“… Why are you all looking at me like that?” he blinked, sitting on his haunches. “… What?”

“Twilight,” Rarity puffed. “It’s late.”

“I know that-”

“And what exactly did you have in mind?” the unicorn asked flatly. “What do you expect us to do, Twilight? Chase down the god of Chaos and force answers out of him?”

“She does have a point,” Applejack nodded.

“You two are agreeing an awful lot lately…” Rainbow Dash said pointedly.

“World really must be coming to an end then,” the farmpony chuckled.

Rarity pinched the bridge of her nose, her normally delicate lips curved into a heavy frown.

“Twilight. Twi, dear,” she said slowly, as if explaining to a small foal. “None of us have any answers, either. At this point, I’m not even certain of a lot of things.”

“… Is this my fault?” William asked, a hint of concern lining his brow.

“What, sowing mayhem?” Pinkie turned an unpleasant look in his direction, catching him off guard. He hadn’t noticed at what point her usually springy mane had gone mysteriously flat. “Shocker that foals of Discord might be good at that.”

“I assure you that is not my intention, nor was it ever,” he said seriously. His face was quick to fall back into an expressionless mask. “Can’t quite say the same for Eris, I’m not her. All I’m seeking is a return to normalcy. Perhaps it was… foolish of me to believe that something of the sort was even possible, but I won’t be faulted for trying.”

“… Can we go home now?” Applejack voiced the same question that seemed to be on all of their minds. “It ain’t Discord, nothing’s on fire, upside down or both, and even the Princess don’t seem to be too worked up.”

“Discord really isn’t as bad as you think if you’d just take the time to get to know him,” Fluttershy spoke at last, startling a number of them who forgot she was even there. “He’s really very sweet, Twi.”

“He turned my house into a pack of chimeras.”

“Not that bad,” Fluttershy said guiltily as if it were her fault. “Are you sure you aren’t just overreacting a little?”

“Or…” William perked up from his spot on the floor. “Or, perhaps someone could try… something like summoning Discord here to make him explain things personally?” he said hopefully. “

“That was the first thing I attempted,” the librarian informed him. “Either he’s found a way to resist Celestia’s calling spell or he’s simply too far away for it to work.”

“That’s unsettling,” he admitted. “For a number of reasons, actually.”

“You’re telling me,” Twilight rubbed her temples. “Until we have Discord right where he’s needed.”

“And… what exactly does that mean, Miss Sparkle?” William eyed her intently, to no answer. “… Miss Sparkle? What is it you aren’t telling me? Miss Sparkle? Twilight? Hello?”

0-0-0-0-0

“Ahh, I feel great!” Eris stretched her arms high above her head, her relaxed smile standing in stark contrast to William’s foul grimace. She kicked back on the uncomfortable wooden bench, stretching as far as she could next to him.“I’m tellin’ you mini me, I slept like a log.”

“Yes Eris thank you very much I heard you the first six times,” he spat all at once through gritted teeth. “And don’t call me that again.” He didn’t care for the two story brick building, he didn’t care for the faint scent of mildew lingering over the stonewashed place, he didn’t care for the fed up looking mare chatting away with Twilight Sparkle at the reception desk, and he most certainly did not care for the situation.

Daisy Seed’s Home for Fillies was possibly not the worst orphanage imaginable, but even the best of the best still would have been something he’d have preferred to avoid. William tried to avoid all eye contact with the pudgy brown mare, though he’d be surprised if she could even see anything through her low hanging coffee colored mane. The wide window on the far wall let in plenty of sunlight, but it didn’t make the place seem any cheerier.

“They could have at least put us up with Miss Dash again,” William muttered furiously so that only Eris could hear.

“Eh, don’t worry ‘bout it too much,” she shrugged nonchalantly. “Didn’t you say she lived in, like, a cloud? How’d we even get up there? And ‘sides, apparently we’re too ‘dangerous’ to be around such ‘politically important’ jackasses.”

“Miss Pinkie then,” his already deep frown seemed set in concrete. “Or Miss Rarity, I’d even settle for farmwork with Miss Applejack and her family, something familiar at least, this is an outrage.”

“Notice you’re not calling her Mom anymore…” Eris lowered her voice as the pair of mares approached.

“Not yet she’s not…” William answered too quietly to be heard. “Give me time.”

“Well then, that’s that sorted out!” Twilight neared breathlessly. “I told you there was nothing to worry about, Miss, er…”

“Root,” the coffee maned mare nodded.

“Root here,” she continued quickly, “Is going to be your temporary caretaker for now! Isn’t that nice?”

Pictures of colts and fillies lined the wall, though there were clearly many more fillies in the faded photographs. There were an enormous number of photos, to the point that William couldn’t tell if the place was much older than it appeared and had seen a remarkable amount of parentless foals, or if the same pictures were reused over and over again for effect. If anything, ‘nice’ was not the word that occurred to him.

“Hello there!” the new mare introduced herself friendlily. “M’name’s Root, but you young ‘uns can call me Miss Root if you like, or Miss Rooty or even Rooty – Tooty!”

“Fascinating,” William deadpanned, turning instantly back to Twilight. Root had a strange accent that he wasn’t accustomed to, almost like some cows he’d met. “Charmed, really. When are we leaving?”

“We’ve been over this,” Twilight said through her smile. “It’s just for a little while until we can get things properly sorted out.”

“This is ludicrous!” William blurted. The unfairness of it all was starting to make the throbbing vein in his head feel like it was standing out like a sore thumb, and a strange twitch was starting at the base of his spine. “Honestly, Miss Sparkle, what have I done wrong?”

Twilight blew the mane out of her eyes in agitation.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, exactly,” she said in exasperation. “You should be thankful it’s not Trottingham.”

“… What’s wrong with, uh, Trottingham?” Eris’s ears picked up in curiosity.

“Trust me, hon,” Root gave her a slightly worried stare. “You don’t want to go to Trottingham.”

“See? Like winnin’ the lottery!” the draconequus elbowed him a couple of times, the forced enthusiasm almost leaking off of her. “Eh? Eh? Like the lottery!”

“Very lucky you two are, you betcha!” Root nodded, ushering them up. “So, how’s about I go showin’ you young ‘uns around, eh?”

“And excellent idea if I do say so myself!” Twilight beamed, making for the door. “Thanks again, Root, we should be back by the weekend.”

“Take your time, hon!” Root waved after her as she left, the tingling bell of the front door ringing loudly a couple of times before leaving them in complete silence.

The quiet that followed was so thick that it made it difficult to breathe.

“… Well then,” Root continued eagerly, clapping her hooves together with a loud clop! “Why don’t we get this lil’ tour guide started, huh fellas?” she headed toward the only other door at the far end of the room, talking the whole way as they unwillingly followed. “I think I’ve already introduced m’self, so how’s about you two?”

“Our names were written on the entry sheet at the door,” William stated.

“He’s William,” Eris jabbed a thumb at him before cracking her knuckles. “And my name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father, prepare to die!”

Eris jabbed an invisible rapier at the coffee colored mare, who jumped a bit backward in surprise. Root blinked a couple of times before cracking a weak smile.

“Ooh, bit of a wild imagination on this one o’ yours, eh?” Root chuckled. William only shrugged as she pried open the door, revealing a dusty stairwell that looked as if it were about to crumble. A single small door set in the side had an unused candle holder dangling from the wall over it, a couple of cobwebs flying back from the door.

“Are we staying in the cupboard under the stairs?” Eris asked quickly. “Because I’ve seen that movie, and I’ve already been to your Hogwarts. It sucked.”

“… Is she… mad?” Root turned to William in concern, Eris already meandering up the creaky stairwell in interest.

“Just a little bit, yes,” William still spoke with no expression. His almond colored eyes followed her every movement a tad too closely, too attentively. It was almost creepy.

“Oh dear,” the matron shook her head sadly. “She’s not usually too much trouble, eh? I should hope not, the last one was a real biter. Did I mention that the toiletry’s by the lobby? I don’t think I did, it’s-”

“There was a draconequus here?” William finally showed some form curiosity as he followed her. He almost asked why the place even had a lobby to begin with.

“Hm? Is that what your, er, ‘sister’ is then?” Root inquired. “Your librarian friend did warn me about her. No though, no, I meant the crazy part. You know how some o’ the young ‘uns can get without, er, proper homes.”

“I do.” He answered simply and curtly, no sign of Eris anywhere in the hall. Bare rafters littered the space above, and the iron candleholders along the walls seemed out of place next to the clearly ‘modernized’ gas powered bulbs wrapped in decorative casings. “… Where is everyone else, by the way?”

“Do you really not know when school is?” Root asked, the same cheerful, upbeat tone in her voice. William honestly couldn’t tell if she were really that happy or if she simply had a very good poker face. Or maybe it was just the accent, he had no clue.

“I’m not even aware of the current date, to be truthful,” he said quietly as he poked one head into an open doorway. Again Eris was nowhere to be found, and the bunks lining the wall held no sign of her. “I’ve been, uh… out of the loop for a little while. Did my… librarian friend mention anything about that?”

“Not really!” her smile only grew as she too began looking about for Eris, moving from one room to the next. “She did leave me an envelope with all the medicals n’ things, allergies n’ such.”

“Did she now,” William pondered aloud. He made a firm mental note to look into the document, wondering precisely what Twilight had placed within. Probably a warning of some sort, but it could hold vital information.

“Now, where in Equestria did she get off to…” Root asked in befuddlement, the last room in the hall proving to be devoid of anything except more bunks.

A loud BAM! went off directly behind them, sending them both scrabbling. William screeched in a much higher pitch than he’d have preferred, somehow landing on his back and kicking wildly at thin air in desperation. Eris’s melodic laughter rang throughout the place as she dropped from the rafters, along with the two small pieces of tin she’d been holding.

“Oh my god,” she struggled to breathe through her hysterics. “You s-should have s-seen the looks on your faces!”

“That wasn’t funny, Eris!” William bolted angrily to his hooves, straining to stand up properly. His knees seemed horridly weak, and he nearly fell over again. A hot, stinging sensation hurt the bottom of his eyes as he shouted, and it felt like his heart wasn’t quite beating appropriately. “I mean it, Eris, it’s not funny!”

“Whoa, alright,” she held up her hands, grinning. The figure of Miss Root latched onto the door with one hoof over her heart only made it more difficult not to laugh. “Take it easy, would you? I’m only playin’ around, jeez.”

“It’s not funny!” he bellowed. “What were you thinking, you almost gave me a heart attack!”

“I don’t quite think you’re the one that needs to worry about heart attacks,” Root patted her chest a couple of times weakly with a wheezy chuckle. “Please don’t do that again, hon, I’m not too keen on meetin’ me gram just yet, eh?”

Eris shrugged halfheartedly.

“Yeah. I guess,” she said, giving the piece of tin a small kick with one cloven hoof.

“Where’d you even get that?” William peered up at the rafters, afraid that more might come falling down.

“This ol’ place has needed some work done for some time now, don’tchaknow,” Root gently nudged them back toward the stairwell. “Can’t ever seem to get things done, just too much to take care of.”

“This isn’t too bad,” Eris rolled her shoulders, apparently in a much better mood than the other two. She peered quickly at the image of wilting sunflowers on the mare’s flank, thinking. “You run this whole place by yourself?”

“It used to be me ‘ole family,” Root explained as they descended in single file, as the stairwell would not allow more. “Me mam an’ her mam, me gram.”

“Try saying that five times fast…” Eris snorted.

“But time goes on, you know how it is,” she sighed. “But it’s quite alright, things tend to work themselves out, don’tchaknow.”

“Would you happen to be from Wisconsin?” the draconequus interrupted.

“The who where what now?” Root tilted her head. “… Where’d the pink ‘un go?”

“Still up here,” William announced with a bit of embarrassment.

“… Well, what are y’doin’ up there for?” Root balked up at William, who was currently in the process of clambering down as slowly as possible. Going backwards one step at a time, it took him a great deal of effort not to look through the banister at the ground, which felt miles away.

“I’m, er… not good with stairs, is all…” he couldn’t quite look at her, focusing instead on hurrying up.

“… Oh, dear,” Root bundled off cheerfully. “Fantastic, they’re both completely mad.”

0-0-0-0-0

Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

New World, Day Two

I’ve found Scootaloo.

Author's Note

Hard Knock Life

Ce N'est Pas De L'inceste

0-0-0-0-0

The crunching of gravel mingled with the sound of midday traffic, ponies bustling this way and that as they meandered along the roadside. The sounds of so many ponies slowly trickled away the longer they walked, like they were drifting away on a very calm breeze.

“... You've been quiet for an awful long time,” Eris said quietly, arms crossed over her chest as they walked. “Is it 'cause I dropped you? Because I totally didn't mean to this time. Swearsies.”

“Sorry. Just thinking is all,” William responded slowly, staring straight ahead.

“Quiet and apologizing,” she grinned. “Wow, there must be something really wrong.”

“There's nothing wrong.”

“Oh, don't give me that. You're so distrusting, oh mon dieu.”

“I am not! And since when do you speak French?”

“You can make anything sound awesome with French,” Eris snorted. “No matter how dumb it is, everything's great in French. Just tell me, dude.”

“Everything's wrong, Eris,” he harrumphed, throwing a lost look up at the surrounding healthy trees of the park. “All of this. This town, the people, the air, it all feels... wrong.”

Eris didn't seem to have any reply to that, opting instead to lazily wander ahead in spite of his slow march.

“... I'm gonna get to the lake way before you do, short stack,” Eris called, turning around and walking backwards away from him. She nearly tripped over an old bench on the park's path.

“I feel wrong,” he said more to himself than anything, slowing almost to a halt. Clearing his throat, he spoke up so that she could hear. “Just... go on ahead, alright? I need to stop for a minute.”

“What, tuckered out already?” the draconequus was swift to return, beaming. “Alright, I swear I won't drop you, it's not too far and then we can-”

“I'd really just like to rest by myself for a bit,” he insisted, clambering carefully onto the worn roadside bench. “I'll catch up with you before you know it, I just... need a minute.”

Eris looked as if she wanted to say something, but it quickly left and she only shrugged. A single nod was all that came from her before she continued along her way, arms looped around behind herself and clasping in a manner that made William briefly think of a contortionist.

A small part of William instantly regretted being left alone. However, the buzzing in his head simply refused to die down, and he found himself falling deeper into thought once again.

I can still fix this. I know I can.

This doesn't feel right. I don't like this. It's all gone wrong.

My life is wrong. But isn't that better than no life? Even if it's not right?

I could save her... I could save them, we could all be together again. I could make it right.

My head hurts... I wonder if that's a remaining effect of what Father did to my head. But what did he remove?

No blank spots, no feelings of missing time... the crazy place, what I did to Neil, it's all in place...

No place for me there, no place for me here – who is me? Am I still me? Am I still Will? I don't even know. I feel so empty. I feel numb. I still feel cold. I don't know if I'm still Will.

But the other Will, the Iron Will, the one sharing a namesake with himself caused a furious, fiery knot to rise up in his stomach.

He must be... disposed of.

I need him out of the way... then everything's going to be fine. Then everything's going to be right.

It took him several seconds to realize that he was having such difficulty steepling his fingers together in thought because he didn't have any fingers. He stared at the bottom of his pink hoof for a beat, rushing thoughts all seeming to crash into each other like a derailed train.

“... But I'm what's wrong.”

“Whuzzat?”

William nearly leaped out of his skin in fright, a strangled yelp erupting from his throat. He scrabbled desperately at the seat of the bench to keep from falling off, having never even heard the mare approach. Had he really been that deep in thought that he hadn't noticed someone dropping into the bench beside him?

“Just talking to yourself, huh?” the mare blinked calmly, taking another long, loud sip from her drink. The straw wobbled a bit as she finished it off, giving the empty container a couple of sad rattles.

“... Yes. Talking to myself,” William answered slowly, not taking his eyes off her as he readjusted himself. “... I'm not crazy.”

“Never said you were,” the strange mare's calm tone never rose an octave, but somehow he could still detect something akin to mockery in her voice. “Not crazy at all to argue with yourself from time to time. Now, losing an argument to yourself, that's another story.”

William did his best to remain stationary, observing the spring green mare. She did the same out of the corner of her eye, sipping wordlessly at the last of her drink as if merely the wish for more could bring it about.

“... Shouldn't you be in school?” the mare asked at last.

“We got the day off.”

“Implying that you aren't all by yourself out here.”

“No,” he said carefully. “No, I'm definitely not by myself. I have someone else who should be waiting for me.”

“Oh. Someone?” she asked, finally looking directly at him. “You don't mean somepony, do you?”

“Does it matter?” William frowned, feeling uneasy.

“Not really,” the unicorn shrugged, turning back and giving her empty drink another rattle before lofting it up in a magical grip and depositing it into a nearby waste bin. “Just a strange phrase to hear from a colt is all.”

“I'm not a f-” he started angrily before clamping his jaw shut.

“Not what now?”

“... Nothing.”

William sat stewing for a few moments, his thoughts jumbled. A bizarre anger tore at his chest, along with something else that he couldn't quite identify; something furious that made his brows furrow.

“... Was it something I said?” the strange mare asked. “I'm Lyra, by the by. I don't usually see you here, you guys just move to town?”

“In a sense,” he didn't look at her. “And my name is William.”

“Cool,” she held out her hoof to him. “Never met a pony with that kind of name before, where'd it come from?”

“I don't know,” William didn't acknowledge her outstretched hoof, which she eventually retracted. “It's... Brooklynese, or something.”

“Brooklynese,” Lyra nodded. “Never heard of it before in my life. You must be from somewhere really far away.”

“You have no idea,” he sighed. “I think I'm further from home than I ever have been before.”

“Ahh, so just moving then. You have a lot of friends back home?”

“A few. Why do you care?” he scowled.

“Just trying to be friendly,” the unicorn shrugged again. “Yeesh. You're awfully suspicious for such a young colt. You waiting on your parents?”

“No. They're gone.”

“I'm sorry.”

William paused, turning his thousand yard gaze straight ahead and thinking.

What am I doing? I don't even know this woman. This is crazy.

“... Do you mind if I ask what happened?” Lyra inquired. “I don't mind if not. Just curious.”

“I suppose you could say that my father was... a bit irresponsible,” he answered quietly. “And Mother was, I guess... unwell. It's complicated.”

“That's terrible,” she shook her head sadly. “Moving in with relatives?”

“Orphanage.”

“Ohh,” Lyra shook her head again sympathetically. “That sucks. I have a friend who grew up in one, she hated it.”

“It's not necessarily the height of luxury,” he snorted.

“Well... I could adopt you, if you want.”

Alarms blaring in William's head seemed stifled by the numbness, which felt as if it were spreading down from his brain to the rest of his body. His every instinct screamed at him to turn her down instantly, and a small part of him grew even more angry at her suggestion as if she did it solely to aggravate him. But there was an honest look on her face as she awaited an answer, and he felt that there wasn't really a proper answer to her statement.

She's not my mother.

What about Discord?

What about him? He left. He ran away. Running away is for cowards. It's his fault.

She's not my mother.

But she could be.

No she can't! Nobody can replace Mother!

It's not a replacement. She could help get her back.

You blamed her, but you know the truth. It's your fault for running away, that's why she doesn't-

“It was just a thought,” Lyra coughed uncomfortably at his incredibly long stretch of silence. His usually furrowed brows seemed to be doing a bizarre, frantic dance, everything from confusion to eagerness to anger swimming across his face in a matter of moments.

“It's-it's fine,” William frowned hard, wiping the expression off instantly. “Just... difficult is all, erm... h-hormones. That's what it is.”

“Hormones,” she repeated without a hint of sarcasm, but his cheeks flushed regardless.

“... Yes. That is all.”

“If you say so,” she hid a small grin behind her hoof. “Tell you what – I've got to pick up some things for my friend; how about afterward I drop by and see you and Miss Rooty this afternoon?”

“You know Rooty – I mean, Miss Root?” William stared.

“You could say that,” Lyra smiled openly. “She's a sweet old gal, I knew her grandmother too. Bit of a loopy cow; and I do mean that, no slur,” her grin grew. “She really was a cow, moved over from the east a long time ago and settled right in. Nice folks. Well,-” she stood, rolling her neck. “- I suppose I'll see you later, little Mister William. It was nice meeting you.”

“... It was a pleasure meeting you as well, ma'am,” he nodded in reply, still in a bit of a daze. She hardly managed to make it two steps away before something occurred to him.

“... I feel I should warn you,” he said after her. “I do have a sister. And under no circumstances will I be separated from her again. Am I clear?”

Lyra cocked an eyebrow, watching him closely over her shoulder for a few seconds before shrugging for the umpteenth time, shaking her head with another small grin.

“So serious. Heh. I'll see what I can do!” she said cheerfully, continuing along her way without looking back. “Take care, you!”

He watched her go for several minutes, and she didn't look back once as she followed the trail out of the park. His mind was even more in a buzz than it was before, and something in his gut told him that he had just said or done something extremely foolish, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.

Maybe it's because I don't have any fingers.

“Eris!” he yelped, falling off of the bench in his hurry. She was probably still waiting for him, as she had been the whole time – what if she got sick of waiting and left? What if she wasn't there when he finally caught up, what if he had made her wait too long?

William bolted even faster down the path toward Ponyville Lake, legs thumping rhythmically against the dirt. Granted, it certainly wasn't a very fast run, not even a gallop; every time he tried to pick up speed he began focusing too much on maintaining control of all of his limbs, and too unaccustomed to them began to stumble and trip over and over again. He'd bitten his tongue three times and landed flat on his face twice before he at last managed to reach the crystalline surface. Eyes darting worriedly over the surroundings, he spotted no sign of Eris anywhere – in fact, he couldn't see another soul on the shores of the lake, and the place was usually bound to have at least a couple of ponies enjoying the water at this time of day.

“Eris?” he yelled, fighting to keep down an unnatural panic. “Eris? Where are you? Eris? I'm sorry, I-I lost track of time!”

He whirled on the spot, leaving hoof tracks in the sand as the worry continued to rise. He could have sworn that sand must have gotten in his eyes, and his throat constricted tightly the faster he ran down the beach, faster and faster as if he could find her through sheer exertion. His breathing was heavy and ragged by the time he finally faltered and stopped, his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he hanged his head and desperately tried to force himself to come to his senses.

Being silly. Being silly. Of course she left. Being silly.

The sound of heavy breathing met his ears, and his head whipped about in search of the source. Eris's head broke the surface of the water, her melodic laugh ringing through the air.

“Hey!” she called out, tail flying up from beneath the surface and waving at him a couple of times, flinging droplets everywhere. “Where've you been, dude?”

“I-I got distracted!” he shouted out to her, relief flooding his chest as she lazily swam toward him.

“By what?” she cackled. “Come on in, the water's fine!”

William stared for a second before blinking.

“... Actually,” he shifted awkwardly. “Actually, that's-that's fine, I'm really not, um, in the mood for swimming-”

“Oh, come on!” Eris threw out her arms in exasperation. “What's wrong now?”

“Nothing,” he lied. “Do you mind just coming out for a bit? There's something I need to tell you-”

“It can wait,” she frowned, waving him in. “Come on, dude. Just chill out and hop in, it's fine.”

“I-I really, really don't think that's such a good idea,” he danced back and forth on his front hooves, suddenly looking as if he were very itchy. “It's-it's just, I-I-I, well-”

“For god's sake!” Eris lurched forward, water sloshing as she approached. “I'll pull you in if I have to, now get in here and enjoy the damned water!”

“Alright, alright!” he caved in, putting one trembling hoof in the water to show her. “Just don't pull me in! I'm coming, I'm coming!”

“Giggidy.”

“What?”

“Just get in!” Eris giggled, clearly enjoying just how frenetic and worried the water was making him as he finally managed to get two hooves in. “What are you, a cat now? Scared of a little water, lil' pussy cat?”

“I'm not afraid of the water,” William glowered at her, not moving another inch. “Thank you very much, Eris. It's-it's just untested is all, I don't know the exact depth, it's-”

William couldn't manage to say much else, as Eris laughingly jerked him in from his front hooves. Water burned his eyes and nostrils, and he spat and coughed hysterically as he struggled for the surface. His lungs burned as he hacked out water, his screech of terror muted to a weak snort.

“Y'alright?” Eris slapped him on the back, grinning widely.

“C-c-co-co-cold!” he spluttered as he kicked furiously at the sandy bank beneath him, desperate to stay above water. “C-ca-can't-”

“Ahh, you're fine!” she sniggered, tipping him further back toward the center of the lake. The lack of ground beneath his feet only made him kick harder as he tried to stand on his hind legs, terror rising. “Chill out, dude. Relax-”

“Shore!” he shouted, struggling to cling to her arm. “No no no! Eris, I can't swim!”

Thankfully, she stopped pushing him out into the water and just stared for a moment.

“... Seriously?”she blinked at long last.

“YES, I am serious!” he shouted, scrabbling at her wrist and kicking at nothing but water with his back hooves. “I can't swim!”

“... Well, no time like the present!”

“No wait wait wait wait-!”

Eris kicked off, drifting out into the lake without fear as he was dragged helplessly along.

“Don't drop me!” William pleaded, grasping for her with all his might.

“I'm not gonna drop you,” she rolled her eyes, gradually flipping over to her back and letting him cling to her chest underwater. “Just chill out for once. I'll teach ya how to swim, so hold onto your britches.”

William fell silent against his urges to shout for her to return to shore, and she gradually began to release him.

“Don't-” he started, only for her to shush him.

“Chill,” Eris said slowly. “I'm not gonna drown you, calm down and trust me, would you?”

“A-alright,” William agreed eventually. “Just don't drop me, okay?”

Eris let her actions speak for themselves, wordlessly drifting along on her back. She held him up effortlessly with one paw, stroking quietly at the water with her other and using her tail as a makeshift rudder to steer.

“... See?” she grinned. “This isn't so bad.”

“... It's still cold.”

“Ugh,” Eris poked him in the belly, making him wriggle in panic. “Shut up. Listen, just try to relax-”

“But I can't-”

“Relax,” she insisted. “Try kicking a bit with your feet, not too much. Think of how frogs do it. And quit holding your breath so much, you'll sink if you tense up too much.”

William reluctantly followed her instructions, struggling to force his muscles to stop clenching up as he shook atop her. Her own hand met the bottom of his trembling hoof, her relaxed grin matching his worried grimace.

“You'll get the hang of it,” she promised. “It just takes a little practice. Like riding a bike, you never really forget how. Except you're riding me instead.”

“Are you deliberately wedging in incestuous undertones?” William frowned down at her, still straining to stay afloat.

“No idea what you're talking about,” Eris said expressionlessly. “But it's easy to tell where your mind is at, dirty, dirty. And whatever happened to 'not really your sister', hmm?”

“Oh, shut up,” he pushed off from her. “I'll have you know I was thinking nothing of the sort until you brought it up.”

“Implying that you're thinking it now,” she giggled, prodding him in the belly again. He let out an unwilling gasp as he fell, equally surprised that Eris caught him before his head could sink back beneath the water. William let the cool water flow just behind his ears as Eris propped them both up, letting them simply drift in peaceful silence for a while.

“... But, seriously,” William said at last. “When did you learn to speak French?”

“I dunno,” he could feel her shrug. “Just sorta comes naturally.”

“Malarkey,” he frowned, unable to turn to look at her without falling again.

“No, really,” Eris insisted. “I can parler français or vielleicht französisch, I can fazer português and even siarad Cymraeg. You pick it, I learned it.”

Something odd occurred in William's ears as she spoke each language, as if it were understood the moment it left her lips even though he'd never heard it before, one language after another easily distinguishable from another.

“... That's incredible,” he blurted. “I never even knew. Have you been able to do that all this time?”

“I can do a whole lot of impressive things you never knew about,” Eris giggled, wrapping her mismatched hands over his chest and kicking off again, slowly trailing circles in the water. William's heart beat louder and louder, thrumming like a heavy drumbeat in his ears.

“We, er... we really should be getting back,” William awkwardly said after a bit. “I'm pretty sure Miss Root is going to realize that we snuck out the window sooner or later.”

“Ah, who cares?” Eris yawned, stretching. “Come on, for once, dude. Live a little! For me?”

“... I think I'll do just that,” he agreed, realizing just how tense he still was. “But just this once.”

And just like that, away they drifted.

0-0-0-0-0

Faster, faster!

Discord bolted down the crumbling well of reality like a spinning hallway, entire oceans of existence flooding forth from jagged holes erupting behind him. The call rang deep in his ears, in his bones, in his very soul, needy and desperate in its being as he was pulled further and further.

“I – do not – have time – for this – you – son – of – a – bitch!” the draconequus growled with each bounding leap, every step taking him further than any mortal could dream to reach in a hundred lifetimes. Screaming scraps of nonexistence billowed behind in hunger as he fled, wisps of the crumbling path he relied on so gratefully before literally disintegrating faster than either eye or even imagination could follow, but still Discord was faster. Even so, he dared not look back.

Hang on, kids. I'm on my way.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

The Beatles - You Got To Hide Your Love Away

It's What's On The Inside That Counts

0-0-0-0-0

“Dear lord, Eris, I am sopping wet,” he moaned, dragging his shivering pink hooves through the grass in the vain hope of drying himself a little faster.

“Aw, quit whining,” Eris snickered, giving her head a long toss back and flinging water at him. “Did you have fun or not?”

“But I'm so wet-”

“Yeah, that happens when you get too excited,” she gave a body length wriggle that shook through to her tail, more water raining down on him. “But did you have fun?”

Eris continued walking backwards, hands clasped loosely behind her back as she grinned down at him.

“... You know what I think?” her grin grew a little the more sour he looked, desperately smacking his hooves over the grass. “I think you're just embarrassed to admit that you even can have fun. I'm right, huh?”

“I'd enjoy it a lot more if I didn't have to get wet,” he scowled, trudging along behind her toward Ponyville. “But... yes. It wasn't bad, if that's what you mean.”

Eris only snorted and rolled her eyes.

“I think you'd complain about just anything,” she flicked him with water again.

“Believe you me, I have already compiled a list.”

William tilted his head in confusion at her laughter, trying uselessly to wring the water out of his mane.

“... What's so funny?”

“Nothing,” she waved him off, giggling. “You just look funny when you get all serious like that.”

“I do not!” he insisted, stamping a hoof against the ground.

“Yeah huh,” she prodded him in the side, making him wiggle in discomfort. “It's freakin' adorable.”

“I am not-” he started angrily before pausing abruptly, giving himself a once over. “Well, yes. A bit, I suppose.”

For some reason, this only made Eris laugh harder.

“Regardless,” he said with a harrumph. “Just another thing that needs to be rectified. Although it would be much easier to go about my daily business were I not naked.”

“Oh, come on!” Eris snapped her talons together, grinning before waving into the wind. “Clothes are so restricting, just chill out, like me! Nice n' breezie, lemon squeezie!”

“Oh, god, Eris,” William flushed, cupping his eyes with one hoof. “Please don't do that, not in public!”

“Bah, don't be such a prude!” she whirled on the spot and flicked him on the nose with her wet tail, making him splutter furiously. “Pants steal your freedom, man! Nudity is freedom!”

“But-”

“FREE~DOM!” Eris whooped as she ran ahead, arms held high.

William bit back a remark, shaking his head.

It was clearly going to be a long walk back.

The walk back to Ponyville was uneventful and peacefully quiet.

The return, however, not so much.

“Alright,” Eris leaned away from the wall with her mismatched hands on her back, squinting up at the second floor window at the back of the orphanage. The sound of several voices from somewhere within masked her own hushed tones. The worn lattice seemed just as unstable as before, and William looked at it with a heavy frown. “I'm gonna lift you up first, so make sure to move your butt quickly this time before we get caught.”

“It's a bit too late for that,” William jerked in surprise to the voice of Miss Root directly behind him.

“Oh... shit,” Eris slumped.

“Where have you been?” Root screeched so loudly that the windows might have split. William cringed hard, the wall behind them suddenly feeling much too close. “Do you have any idea how worried I was, why are you two all wet? Why did you sneak out? What were you thinking?”

William shrank a little bit more with each peppering of questions, an odd knot weighing heavily in his stomach. Even Eris seemed to be left a little bit speechless, one arm held uncomfortably behind her back. She couldn't quite seem to meet the furious mare's eyes, and continuously stared at a patch of ground to her left.

“I thought you two were in serious trouble!” Root paced back and forth in front of them. “I thought you'd run off, I thought something awful might've happened, I was worried sick, I can't believe the nerve!”

“We-we were, uh... heading right back...” Eris mumbled, slowly jabbing one talon back at the old building. “We weren't, um...”

“Weren't what, thinking in the slightest?” Root stopped in front of her, giving her an icy glare. “For the love of Celestia, do you want to get sent to Trottingham? Do you?!”

Neither of them managed to speak so much as a word beneath her glower, despite her small frame she somehow seemed to singlehoofedly lock them in place.

“... Inside,” Root ran a hoof through her mane, giving a tired puff through her cheeks. “I'll deal with you two in a bit, I'm t'be needin' a sit down. Oy.”

William and Eris shuffled shamefacedly around the side of the building, heads hung low.

The cool shade inside didn't seem to to help the flush that seemed stuck on William's face, and Miss Root's disappointed words seemed to catch in his ears. Even so, he still couldn't manage to bring his eyes up from the floorboards, even long after Root directed him into one of the uncomfortable chairs lining the wall. A stone in the pit of his stomach churned as a slew of unpleasant thoughts occurred to him at once, each one worse than the last. What if they really were being sent somewhere else? How could he possibly fix things then?

“... Huh. You're new.”

His head darted up at last at the voice, Scootaloo's familiar tilted face coated in a thin veil of confusion and curiosity.

“Scootaloo!” he brightened up immediately, ears perking up. He noticed the odd sensation in the ears, quietly assured that he'd never get used to the feeling.

“Uh... hi,” the filly backed away a step at his shout, letting her schoolbag slip a little further off her shoulder to the floor. “Have we met before?”

“No, no!” William blurted as several other fillies, one or two even nearing marehood trundled noisily in through the door, each one befuddled by Eris's presence, much to the displeasure of Miss Root. Eris, however, seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the attention, clearly gleeful to no longer be under the scrutiny of the older mare.

“It's-it's just, er,” William lied quickly. “I've heard a bit about you, you see.”

“Really?” the filly blinked, glancing back over at Eris, who was completely swarmed by excited fillies by this point. “From who, might I ask?”

“Actually,” he corrected. “It should be 'from whom.”

“... Wow.You're kinda annoying,” Scootaloo tilted her head again, but a small grin appeared on her face at his annoyed frown.

“I get that occasionally,” he said flatly.

“She dropping you off?” the filly tilted her head in the distracted Eris's direction, hopping nimbly onto one of the seats beside him.

“What? Oh, no,” William shook his head. “That's my sister. We just got here, really.”

“... Your sister,” Scootaloo cocked an eyebrow slowly. “Guess that explains the matching manes.”

“It's a long story,” he rubbed the back of his neck gracelessly, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious. “I'm surprised you aren't over there talking to her too.”

Scootaloo shrugged, ruffling her wings a bit and settling in as she watched Miss Root uselessly trying to corral the unruly foals. She struggled to make herself heard over the tiny mob, ushering as many of them as she could toward the stairs with shouts of homework.

“Nah. I hate crowds,” she gave a wry half smile. “Besides, it's not every day you see a pink colt. What's your name, anyway?”

“William,” he said instantly. “William Zachariah Klaskovsky. Pleasure to meet your acquaintance,” he held out a single hoof expectantly.

“That's a weird name,” she shook his hoof eventually. “How'd you even remember all that, anyway?”

“Mnemonic patterns, usually,” William nodded. “It comes in handy.”

“Whole day's gone weird, I guess...” Scootaloo shrugged again.

“What do you mean?” William pried, unaware of the sound of carriages outside. Eris, however, seemed to be fully invested in returning outside, which only served to irritate the busy Root even further.

“Well,” she started slowly. “I mean, school lets out early, Diamond Tiara actually shuts up for once, and a girly Discord lookalike and a cute new colt show up out of nowhere. So, yeah, it's been weird.”

“Well, she's actually-” William started, his voice faltering midway as a burning heat rose up in his cheeks. “... You think I'm cute?”

“Eh, a little,” Scootaloo grinned again at his discomfort. “I mean, I've seen better, but I've seen a lot worse too.”

“Never mind that,” he shook his head furiously, thinking. “What was that other part about Diamond Tiara?”

“What, you're going to tell me you already know her too?” she rose another eyebrow, looking genuinely surprised this time. “Yeesh, I thought you said you just got here?”

“But what else?” he pried urgently. “Did anything seem weird to you?”

“What's it matter?” Scootaloo frowned suspiciously. “You're the one being all weird.”

“I just need to know!” he demanded. “Did – wait, was Silver with her today?”

Scootaloo looked around nervously, clearly unnerved. However, none of the others seemed to be around any longer, but Eris was finally returning from whatever was outside.

“Silver Spoon?” she said eventually, William sitting on the edge of his seat. “What about her?”

“... She wasn't at school today, was she?”

“How do you know anything about that?” Scootaloo frowned suddenly. “... Who are you?”

“Where is she?” William was nearly standing in his seat at that point, almond eyes darting back and forth frantically. “TELL me, this is important!”

“I dunno!” the filly shifted away from him, disturbed. “Jeez! She's sick or somethin', why should I care? Why do you care?”

“I have to go-” he started, tripping and slamming face first into Eris.

“Hey,” the draconequus beamed widely down at the filly, not moving to help William up. “Meet somebody new, eh?”

“Eris, we need to go!” William clumsily pulled himself up. “I don't know how much time we have-!”

“Aw, are you kidding?” she groaned loudly. “Dude, we just got back, I'm tired. Jesus, calm down for a sec, I got something to tell ya-”

“It can wait!” he was almost dancing with anticipation, his heart slamming like a drum. William was still running before he finally realized that he wasn't even touching the ground any longer, held aloft by Eris in one hand.

“Uh, no,” Eris snorted. “Me talk-y, you shut up...y. So, listen; some dudes just came by looking for us-”

“... Oh god, I forgot!” William twitched hard, finally ceasing his kicking. Scootaloo continued to back away, but kept a close eye on the two.

“Oh, cool,” she nodded. “You already knew they were coming?”

“Is she still here?” William struggled in her grasp. “And put me down, this is uncomfortable!”

“She?” Eris dropped him instantly, and he landed with a quiet grunt. “Uh, no. That was a royal escort.”

“... Royal escort?” he blinked in confusion.

“Yep,” she held up a pair of invisible suspenders proudly. “Royal invitation for a private audience with the princesses.”

“... Really?” he blinked. “So... where are they?”

“Oh, I politely declined,” Eris grinned.

“And they just left?”

“Well, to be accurate I told them to gargle my bacon,” she giggled wickedly. “They didn't take it too well.”

“YOU two!”

William flinched at Miss Root's shout, the still fuming mare descending the stairs. Scootaloo wisely snagged her saddlebag and subtly slipped past, sensing trouble and keeping her head down.

“Us two!” Eris grinned even more widely. “So, sick of us yet?”

“Eris?” William hissed through the side of his mouth. “What are you doing?”

“Wait for it,” she whispered back.

“For crying out loud, what've you done this time?” Root stomped up to her. “What in th' world were royal guards doing out front, what'd you do? Did you-”

The noisy opening of the door distracted the trio, drawing their eyes to the mint colored unicorn allowing herself in.

“... Wait for it,” Eris muttered even more quietly so that William could barely hear.

“Hello!” Lyra beamed widely, giving a little wave to the worn out mare. “Nice weather we're having, hmm?”

“Hello, dearie,” Root gave an exhausted sigh. “I'm sorry you've got me at such a bad time 'n all, the young 'uns are just getting back, and early t'boot, still a bit frazzled-”

“Oh, it's quite alright,” Lyra gave another small wave to William as she trotted up, earning a confused look from Eris which he promptly ignored. “Hey there! Guess I'm a little bit early too, huh?”

“Oh – oh!” Root blinked in mild surprise. “Are you here for...” she left her head hanging toward William and Eris, the astonishment clear on her face.

“I sure am!” Lyra nodded enthusiastically. “Is this the sister you told me about?” she turned to Eris, giving her a quick scan. “Not really much of a resemblence, I have to admit.”

William was a bit stunned. If Lyra seemed at all surprised or shocked by Eris's appearance, she certainly didn't show it. In fact, she didn't seem fazed in the slightest, which somehow seemed even stranger. Eris noted this as well, giving him an odd look as Lyra and Root meandered toward the wide desk by the door.

“That'd be Miss Lyra,” William started, only to be cut off again.

“Wait for it.”

Wait for what?

His answer came nearly half a minute later. William kept a close eye out next to Eris through the window until a familiar sight approached, at which Eris gave him an 'I told you so' look. Lyra chatted away happily with Root, as they went over paperwork slouching comfortably just over her desk and talking animatedly with one hoof.

“-so then, she gets this beehive, right? But it doesn't even occur to her, maybe-”

“Oh!” Twilight narrowly avoided walking smack dab into the unicorn as she pushed the door wide open. “Excuse me, sorry – I didn't catch you on the door, did I?”

“Hey, it's cool!” she welcomed her into the shade happily. “Aren't you that librarian?”

“My name's Twilight Sparkle, yes,” she nodded, spotting Eris and William before turning to Root. “I'm just here for the two o' clock pickup, Miss Root; they haven't been too much trouble, have they?”

“You have no idea,” the elder mare rubbed her temple wearily.

“... Hold on,” Lyra put down the pen she held in her magical grip. “I feel like I missed something. You-you don't mean these two, right?”

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Twilight's nose scrunched up as if she'd smelled something terrible. “Why? What did they tell you?”

“Wow, that's a weird thing to say,” Lyra frowned just as hard. “I'm, uh... adopting them both, actually.”

“... What,” the librarian blinked.

“I had the same reaction,” Root interjected. “I tried me best talkin' her out of it, I did.”

“Why are you adopting them?” Twilight inspected her sharply.

“Well, that's my prerogative, isn't it?” Lyra stood a little straighter with determination. “It's an orphanage, isn't it? Orphanages suck (no offense,)” she tilted to Root before snapping quickly back, “and it'd seem just plain mean to leave them here. So I'm adopting them. Right now,” Lyra held up the pen again to prove herself.

“But... well,” Twilight balked. “You – well, you can't, you see,” she struggled. “I've already set up a schedule-”

“A schedule for what, I might ask?” William asked with interest, speaking up at last.

“Effective societal integration,” Twilight answered proudly. “For the first week I've got planned exercises, you see, and-”

“And we're already being adopted,” William was quick to point out. “Ergo, we are clearly efficient at 'societal integration'. Miss Sparkle,” he tacked on at the end condescendingly, causing her frown to become even more pronounced, like it was etched on.

“And how come you never ask what we want?” Eris crossed her arms, speaking up as well. “So far it's just been 'do this, don't do that, go here, do what I say'. We're not dogs for god's sake.”

“Yes, but, but...!” Twilight whipped her head back and forth between them all, worry, desperation and something unfamiliar clearly showing through her features. “I mean, come on! You've been here for one day! Just one day!”

“To be fair, I am very adorable,” William nodded with the utmost seriousness.

Eris coughed hard into her fist, dulling what sounded very suspiciously like 'bullshit'.

“Are you the one that left them here?” Lyra asked.

“Well, yes, but-”

“And now you're telling me that you want them back, but only because they're not fitting in well enough?” she continued, causing Twilight to shift back and forth uncomfortably.

“W-well, that's not exactly-”

“What do you two think?” Lyra turned to William. “You guys just wanna stay here?”

“God no!” Eris shuddered. “There's no cable!”

“Well...” William thought aloud for a moment. He tried to rub his chin for effect, but nearly fell over and quickly gave up.

“... Have you managed to talk any sense into Mother?” William looked up at Twilight blankly.

“If you mean Rainbow Dash, no, but-”

“Then I'm throwing in my lot with Miss Lyra then,” he stated firmly. “When will we be leaving, ma'am?”

“Well, uh...” Lyra blinked, clearly not having expected his outburst. “We've... still got some paperwork to go through, should take... what, a couple of hours?”

“Not even that, dearie,” Root shook her head.

Twilight smacked her own forehead audibly, shaking her head as if it could wake herself up from a bizarre dream.

“You're joking,” she huffed. “For the love of – you've got to be kidding me!”

“Well, you did drop them off at an orphanage,” Lyra pointed out.

“A bit of an oversight if you ask me,” William added. “If I recall correctly, I repeatedly asked to stay literally anywhere else.”

“... They were begging you not to leave them here?” Lyra's eyebrows shot up.

“Oh, stop that!” Twilight snapped at last. “I will not be demonized over this, absolutely not!”

“Well, if it's all the same to you, I don't see what it could hurt...” William said slowly. “Consider it saving yourself a bit of work, at the very least.”

Twilight looked back to Root for help, but the older mare seemed just as lost.

“... Look,” she said at last, pinching the bridge of her nose with one hoof. “Miss, uh...”

“Lyra.”

“Lyra,” Twilight sighed. “I can't let you go through with this. These two aren't exactly what they seem to be.”

“Discord's offspring?”

“No, they're D- I mean, yes,” she blinked. “How did you know that?”

“Call it a wild guess,” Lyra responded dryly, eyes drifting momentarily toward Eris, who was tugging fitfully at the tip of her own tail.

“And... that doesn't... deter you, at all?” Twilight asked in befuddlement. “Doesn't it alarm you, knowing who they are?”

“Not really,” she shook her head quietly. “They seem alright enough. You two are alright, right?”

“Right,” Eris nodded immediately. “See? 's all good.”

Twilight, unfortunately, still seemed just as baffled as before.

“... I cannot in good conscience condone this,” she said huffily.

“So what would you have me do?” Lyra threw out a hoof. “How come it's so important to you to 'help them integrate' then if you're just going to drop them off here?”

“That's concerning royal business!” Twilight scowled, sparks flying in her eyes. She didn't seem to notice Eris uneasily shifting away at the last part.

“Miss Sparkle,” William interposed, his discomfort at their arguing growing greater. “We really are quite alright on our own, and I don't mean anything but the utmost respect when I politely decline your offer.”

“What?” the unicorn blanched, looking down at him.

“What he means is,” Eris fought hard to keep a grin off her face. “Gargle my bacon.”

“... Gargle his what?”

“Will you two go upstairs for a few minutes?” Root blurted in aggravation. “For five minutes! Go, the both of you, or I swear...!”

William was quick to back away, making straight for the stairs as Eris followed close behind.

“Pack up, something!” Root called after them as they vanished up the stairwell without another word.

“I don't believe they had luggage,” Twilight tried to add helpfully, only to earn a flat stare from the elder mare.

“Perhaps not,” Root sighed again, looking briefly between the two unicorns. “But there certainly seems to be quite a bit of baggage being carried about, and I'm no bellhop.”

0-0-0-0-0

“Well, that wasn't so bad, now was it?” Lyra asked cheerfully as they meandered down the roadside, afternoon breeze wafting warmly over them.

“You mind reattaching my ears?” Eris slumped along. “I think she talked 'em off. There's, like, no feeling in them anymore.”

“Yeah, she is a little talkative,” she nodded, leading them around a corner and nodding politely to a fiery headed mare selling carrots. “But I think she's got good intentions, for the most part.”

“Was the checklist really necessary?” William eyed the heavy looking list that Twilight had insisted she take with them.

“Probably not,” Lyra chuckled. “I dunno about you guys, but I am star~ving. What do you want to eat?”

“You know what I want?” Eris stretched lazily. “I want a freakin' burger.”

“Burgers it is!” Lyra directed them across the street to a quiet but bustling little restaurant, welcome sign hanging in the window.

“This seems familiar,” William said suddenly. “I am having the worst sort of déjà vu right now.”

“Wait; you're telling me you actually have burgers,” Eris's mouth dropped in open shock. “Are-are you serious?”

“Sure!” Lyra magically opened the door for them, a warm wafting scent of grease, fries, and other assortments greeting them. “Have you never had one? They're great, I'm telling you.”

The odd trio made themselves comfortable at a set of barstools, numerous strange glances being shot in Eris's direction. A number of napkins were littered about the bar, some of which William was very discouraged to see had obviously been used.

“Hey, weasel face!” Lyra grinned at the burly looking tan unicorn behind the bar.

“Long time no see,” the aptly named and long-faced stallion leered back at her, giving a single look to her bizarre company before turning back. “What can I do ya for?”

“Three burgers, pronto!” she beamed back at him. “Oh, and a milkshake!”

“Alright,” he shrugged. “And what about the other two?”

“Oh, shut up!” Lyra laughed, throwing a napkin at him and missing by a mile. The stallion only chortled, scribbling on a pad of paper before passing it quickly back through a small window behind him. “Just put it on my tab, eh?”

“You don't have a tab,” he was fast to reply.

“Alright, put it on Bonnie's tab!” she shot back goodnaturedly, collapsing back onto the stool between William and Eris. “Prepare to feast like kings tonight, fellas!”

Despite Lyra's good mood, William still couldn't fully wrap his mind around the mare. There had to have been some form of ulterior motive, something that would give it away, some clue or another, but he seemed to garner no further information from her. Perhaps he had missed something?

What exactly are you up to, Miss Lyra? What's your gimmick, hmm? What makes you tick?

“Oh, man,” Eris rubbed her mismatched hands together excitedly and distracting him, spinning around a couple of times for good measure. “This is fantastic!”

“Do you really like burgers that much?” Lyra asked, watching her closely.

“You have no idea how long it's been,” she sighed enviously, taking in a deep breath of the restaurant's aroma. “I have been dying for one of these, everything I've found here is freaking rabbit food!”

William simply didn't have the heart to tell Eris that the burgers they were getting were composed almost entirely of hay.

Apparently, neither did he have the heart to conceal his laughter when she discovered mollified mid-bite what they were.

0-0-0-0-0

Who Wants Cake?

0-0-0-0-0

Bon Bon huffed a weary sigh of relief as she dropped the laden paper bags onto the table, the refreshing shade a blessing compared to the growing heat. She wiped her brow tiredly, letting her head rest against the cold surface of the table for a few moments. Such a long day it had been, but thankfully it was almost over. She finished putting her things away, eagerly looking forward to finally kicking back and relaxing; she could almost hear her favorite chair calling out to her, practically pleading for her to curl up with a good book in front of the fireplace and doze off at long last. Perhaps cocoa as well, it seemed like a good night ahead for that.

Those pleasant daydreams were rudely interrupted by Lyra kicking in the front door.

“Celestia's teats, Lyra,” she moaned into one hoof. “How many times do I have to tell you, take it easy on the new door?”

“You-you in there, Bonnie?” the mare's familiar voice echoed back from the other room.

“No, it's the ghost of groceries you didn't pick up again,” she replied sarcastically and dropped the stack of neatly refolded paper bags onto the counter. Lyra, however, didn't seem to have an immediate answer.

“So...” she heard Lyra cough awkwardly from the opposite room, another set of hooves audible above the quiet latch of the front door. “Bon Bon, I need you to promise me that no matter what you won't get mad.”

“... Alright,” Bon Bon frowned as she peeked around the corner. “That makes me suspicious, what did you do this time? Is it an-”

The mare's sentence was cut off by her own shriek of terror.

“Sup,” Eris waved with a grin.

Eris was swift to quit grinning when fine china mysteriously transformed into an explosion of fine china chunks after colliding with the wall. The trio ducked for cover in panic, dodging the sharp rain.

“Run, Lyra!” Bon Bon screeched, eyes nearly bulging out of her head as she grabbed for another pot on the shelf. “I'll hold him off!”

“Bon Bon, wait-!”

“FROM TARTARUS'S BLACK HEART, I STAB AT THEE-!” the mad mare bellowed, hurling china one after another like a living catapult.

“Bonnie!”

Bon Bon huffed in exhaustion, frantically chucking plate after plate before finally realizing that her assortment of makeshift missiles were slowly gathering one by one in midair. A faintly luminescent green glow enveloped them, almost like a field, but far thicker than William had ever seen; it didn't stop the projectiles completely, but it did slow them severely to the point that they were hardly moving at all.

“That's an odd sort of spell,” William mused aloud as Lyra gradually let the magic fade, his limbs feeling strangely like pudding. “I would have expected a solid barrier.”

“Alright,” Lyra held out a hoof to the baffled mare. “Take a breath. M'kay, Bon Bon?”

“... Lyra,” she said through her teeth after a moment, warily eyeing Eris and to some extent William, who was still unconsciously using the draconequus as an impromptu shield.”You got some 'splainin' to do.”

“Okay,” Lyra slowly lowered her hoof. “But you gotta promise you won't get mad.”

“At least not any more than now,” Eris coughed into her hand.

When Bon Bon remained silent, Lyra took a humongous breath.

“So... you know that, uh... thing we talked about yesterday morning?”

“... Celestia's teats Lyra, you didn't.”

“I adopted 'em!” the unicorn announced proudly. “See, I knew if I just hung around long enough I'd manage to catch a glimpse or two, but it wasn't just since that pulse went out that it'd been happening, right? Right, so-” Lyra babbled on, apparently oblivious to the steadily reddening of Bon Bon's shaking face. “- I decided to do myself a little snoopin' and found out that it wasn't just one source but several, and wouldn't you know it these little fellas just popped out o' nowhere putting off the same thing and you wouldn't even guess it Bonnie, they're both descendants of Discord! I mean, can you believe it? I-”

“Are – you – completely – insane?” Bon Bon seethed, roiling with a fury that could have put a volcano to shame. “Discord?!

“I know, right?” she replied happily. William ever so quietly tried to hide a little bit more behind the comparatively towering Eris, the explosion imminent and he wasn't particularly in the mood to be coated in ash.

“Lyra – I – you-!” she was nearly foaming at the mouth. “You didn't even ask...!”

“Ah,” Lyra cringed. “Right. That. I, uh... didn't want to... miss my opportunity, and-and it's a good thing too because-”

“Rage,” Bon Bon wasn't so much speaking as she was leaking words through her tightly clenched teeth, her muscles so constricted that William could spot a cord in her neck throbbing. “All – of – my – rage...”

“Is she supposed to swell up like that?” Eris asked with a hint of concern.

“Uh...!” Lyra jerked away quickly, pushing Eris and William toward another room as fast as she could. “You guys go ahead and, um, t-take a seat for a bit, I'm gonna go, er... talk to Bonnie and then we can all get cake or something. Magazine's under the coffee table don't wait up!” she shouted after them as she left, shoving the still frothing Bon Bon down an adjacent hallway and out of sight.

“... That was weird, dude.”

“Indeed.”

Now that they actually had a moment to examine the place, William had to admit that it had a very cozy feel to it. A small fireplace was set snugly into the wall, the mantle above heavily decorated with an assortment of photographs of Lyra and Bon Bon together, as well as a few that were unrecognizable. The wallpaper was a dull sort of beige, it was easily covered by even more pictures and paintings of familiar landscape surrounding Ponyville. Many of them had smudges and looked to have been painted

by an amateur, but the attention to detail was obvious as well. A couple of small armchairs sat snugly beside a sofa in front of the fireplace, and the coffee table left little room to walk but still managed to fit in with the rest of the furniture. The closed windows left the whole place cast in a cool shade, but when opened a single one would have likely lit up the entire room.

“... Well, I'm bored,” Eris dropped lazily onto the couch with a sigh. “Alright, short stack.”

William blinked, turning to the blank faced draconequus.

“... What?”

“Spill,” she reclined with her arms behind her head, letting her tail droop off the edge. “How'd you pull it off? She owe you a favor? Friend of yours?”

“No and no-”

“Blackmail?”

“No,” William frowned, straining to pull himself onto the armchair beside her. He was positive nobody had chairs this unnecessarily tall. One leg dangled wildly as he attempted to kick his way up, flailing the entire way. “I – hmmph! - did not blackmail miss Lyra, thank you very much.”

“So, then... what?” Eris rolled a paw through the air, staring up at the ceiling.

“I have no idea,” he admitted. “We really only just met.”

“Se-seriously?” she balked, sitting up at last. “Are – you're serious? You're screwin' with me, right?”

“I told you that I would rather stay anywhere else rather than an orphanage,” William spat the last part in disdain. “Even if that means putting myself in the custody of a stranger.”

Eris stared.

And stared.

And stared.

“... What?” he shifted awkwardly after several long uncomfortable minutes of silence.

“Oh god, Will. You're a fucking idiot,” Eris pinched the bridge of her nose.

“What?” he frowned, his brows furrowing familiarly. “Just because I don't want to be-”

“And I'm with you, did you not consider that?” Eris glowered at him. William squirmed uneasily, trying to shift off her burning gaze. “I thought you had a plan, that's why I didn't say anything.”

“I do have a plan,” he shot back defensively. “It's just going to take a little bit of effort before I can get mother and Miss Pie back together-”

“Oy vey!” Eris clapped one paw against her forehead loudly. “And here I was thinking you were starting to take my advice!”

“What advice?”

“Dude, let it go!”

“I will not, nor should I!”

“Should too!”

“Should not!”

“Should too!”

Eris and William were nose to nose by this point, the latter standing and nearly hanging off the side of the armchair in order to attempt appearing more authoritative. He stared hard into her unwavering vibrant eyes, a sweat suddenly beading on his brow as a furious nervous itch began forming behind one ear. The mere proximity coupled with the faint scent of what might have been cotton candy seemed to have set something off, caused some reaction to arise, even if he couldn't quite detect exactly what for a few moments. However, when it did become clear to him, it only served to make him extremely, horridly uncomfortable.

“... They've been gone for a while,” William backed off after a bit, face flushed, gracelessly tumbling backward and falling onto his rear.

“... Yeah,” Eris sighed at last, retreating as well and rubbing the back of her neck. “How long you think they're gonna talk? Maybe the trigger happy one will toss us out?”

“I do hope not,” William frowned, shuffling uselessly in his seat as he tried his best to keep his forelegs perfectly posed in front of him. “Although if all else fails I can initiate a new plan.”

“Initiate a new plan,” she scoffed. “My cloven hoof, new plan. Why are you sitting like that?” Eris asked suddenly.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” William struggled to look more natural.

“Are you sure? Kind of... like that,” she tilted her head to the side. “You're sitting all... weird now.”

“No, no,” he insisted, color blossoming in his pink cheeks again. “I am perfectly fine-”

“Obviously not...” Eris grinned mischievously, slinking toward him. He twitched and dodged away at her poke, and again at the next. “C'mon, tell me already, now I'm good and curious. What's up with you?”

“Nothing, I said,” William shied away clumsily once more, heat flowing from his face so freely he could have doubled as the fireplace before them. “And quit that, you're making it w- I, I – don't be so distracting!”

“What's the bother?” Eris taunted him, tickling his nose with the tip of her tail and earning an irritated splutter out of him. “How come you're sitting all scrunched up like that? Why're you acting so weird all of a sudden? How come your face is so r-”

Eris paused mid sentence, and each of them met the other with an expressionless, flat look.

That ended promptly when Eris began furiously giggling.

“I need clothes,” William spat through clenched teeth.

“Is that w-what it is?” she snickered, trying (and failing) to hide her giggles by shoving her paw in her mouth. “C-clothes, huh?”

“I still feel naked without them is all!” he fumed. “We can take care of that as soon as possible I don't need your input thank you very much Eris and oh my they certainly have been gone a long time let's continue this conversation never,” William blurted out all at once. “This is worse than when Pinkie Pie tried explaining the mare body to me in front of Scootaloo, lord.”

Across town, Pinkie Pie sneezed.

Eris reigned in her poorly stifled laughter after what felt like forever.

“... They can't be still talking,” the grinning draconequus shrugged.

“What do you think they're saying?”

The pair paused for a moment, listening intently. However, neither of them could hear anything being said. A hint of concern flickered across William's face, which Eris quietly noted.

“... Wanna go check it out?” she asked quietly, her grin widening.

“After you,” he deadpanned. “I insist.”

“Whatever happened to 'ladies first', huh?” Eris hopped up, smirking.

“What are you-” William frowned in confusion, until he noticed her eyeing his brightly shaded coat. “I am not a filly! I'm not, just – agh!”

Eris did a poor job of hiding her giggles once again as she crept down the hall, the uneasy colt close in tow.

The door the mares had entered was tightly locked. She glanced over to William, who only shrugged back. Eris rapped hard with her knuckles a few times, listening closely and still hearing no conversation.

“... Hello?” she knocked again. “Uh... it's just... y'know. Us. Anypony in there?”

Eris stopped in thought, suddenly giving a grunt of dissatisfaction.

“Ugh,” she muttered loudly enough for William to hear. “Now they've got me doing it. Frickin' – hello?” she knocked again. A rising fear began to make itself known in William's stomach; what if Bon Bon had been so unnerved by them that they'd both snuck out the window? The idea of being left to fend for themselves in someone else's house didn't appeal to him at all.

“Hello?” Eris banged on the door. “Anybody?”

The bedroom door jerked open a crack at long last, Lyra breathlessly beaming back at them. Her mane was thoroughly disheveled and her cheeks were tinged pink, but her smile was wide.

“Sorry!” she chuckled after a beat. “Told you she was tense. Um... s-she said 'yes' by the way, so it's a good thing we've got the guest room, ha ha!”

“... Guest room,” Eris repeated.

“We'll have to get another bed, s-hey!” Lyra yelped, head vanishing for a few seconds before returning in the crack, clearly fighting off a grin with cheeks brighter than ever. “Be out in a few minutes, er... w-why don't ya go check it out for yourselves?”

Lyra was swift to vanish as the door clicked shut, leaving William thoroughly baffled as to the nature of their discussion. Clearly Lyra must have been winning.

“... Help me raid their cabinets,” Eris turned away with wide eyes, shuffling like a zombie in the opposite direction. “If they've got booze I definitely need it now.”

“Why?” William followed her closely, watching her drag herself along. “She said yes, it's not that bad. You can have the bed if it really means that much to you.”

“Will,” Eris puffed through her cheeks, the haunted look remaining. “I feel I should remind you that you're an idiot.”

“I love you dearly as well oh simplistic sister of mine.”

“The feeling's mutual, short stack.”

0-0-0-0-0

Hang on, hang on...!

Discord bolted faster and faster, but fast as he was he was still unable to move any faster in his current, or any form, than the ephemeral tug in his gut pulled him. He could do naught but follow the pull, dragged along like a fish on a line, being swiftly and surely drawn toward the narrowing point. He braced himself as he felt his being compressed and pulled to an insignificantly miniscule point, a fragment of a fragment inside and out all at once for a moment, for eternity, all together and split apart a billion miles simultaneously.

At last, at long last, the endless stream of travel that was himself began to end as he reached his destination, his corporeal form manifesting itself in a single instant.

“I'm here!” Discord hacked out a cough of black smoke, hair still singed from the previous blast. “Who sounded the-”

Discord immediately froze, his panicked line of questioning interrupted by a number of things that should have been obvious to him from the start. Firstly, it was quite apparent that no one had begun any emergency protocols related to the one that called him, considering that reality itself wasn't collapsing. Secondly, the bright, runic magically encasing pillar light of he was in was very clearly not Twilight's library or Princess Celestia's personal chambers. Finally, and most disturbingly, the mare staring him down her glasses with what was possibly the second most hateful, bloodthirsty glare he had ever seen was neither Twilight or Celestia, but was definitely equally acquainted with. An unwilling shiver trembled up his spine at her icy emerald stare, the situation feeling terribly familiar.

"... Uh oh."

“Hello, Discord,” doctor Yolk White steepled her hooves together venomously from behind her desk. “I'm in the mood for cake. Let's crack a few eggs.”

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

Annie Lennox - I Put A Spell On You

Beyond The Wall Of Sleep

0-0-0-0-0

Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

New World, Day Two

I think I might be ill.

Two days.

I can hardly believe that it's only been two days, and everything is completely mad. The entire world has gone to hell in a hand-basket and I'm the only sane boy left. However, I do not believe that 'boy' will suffice any longer, as I do not meet those qualifications precisely. I do not like being a colt. It feels... unnatural... to me. I don't like trying to adjust to a new body, trying to adjust to a world from two years ago has proved difficult enough. I wonder if Father did this as some form of sick prank. Obviously he isn't concerned too badly about 'blending in' otherwise he wouldn't have made me hot pink and he would have altered Eris as well. She stands out like a sore hoof thumb everywhere she goes, and no wonder. Her body is absolutely bizarre. Alien comparatively I should say. I should like to study it further, her anatomy alone astounds me.

Still no sign of Father, but I suppose I should hardly be surprised. One of my few consolations is that at least we aren't trapped in an orphanage. And Eris is still with me. If I can consider that consolation.

The girl is slowly driving me crazy, I am sure of it. She has to be doing it on purpose. I need to get her out of my head, it's taking up space. I have far more pressing matters of concern. There still remains the issue of getting Mother back, and I want shall get my family back by any means necessary, mark my words. Above all else, that stays forefront in my thoughts at all times.

Speaking of, I still wonder exactly what Father tampered with while he was in there. The idea alone makes me nervous to say the least, I consider the mind the final sanctuary and to breach that is an offense in and of itself. Although, it feels like I still remember everything. I recall the events important to me, I remember Mother and Miss Pie and my time before Equestria. I remember my studies under Miss Twilight. and Princess Luna I remember what happened at Canterlot, though part of me feels like that was all just a hazy bad dream. And I most certainly remember that... bizarre other world that Father dragged us through, the one with too many of him. What exactly did he do then if I still remember?

Eris speaks of memory wipes as leaving a blank space in her mind where the memory used to be, and though I find this extremely... well, creepy, I have not experienced anything of the sort. That I can remember. I don't know why, but I am curious.

I doubt we shall be staying with Miss Lyra and her roommate? Friend? Lover? housemate much longer, as after I've enacted the next phase of my plan it'll all be downhill from there. It's frustratingly slow in terms of progress, but I must maintain secrecy lest anyone interfere. I can pull this off without a hitch, I know it, but the strain on my patience is immense. I doubt I can even tell Eris I have to stop thinking about her or I won't sleep again.

I don't want to sleep again. I've been having strange dreams. Not like usual, there are no more vivid visions of metal monsters descending on me. And it always felt like I was so close before in the dreams, like if I could just endure it a little longer I could finally smash the barrier, break through the wall and understand what I was supposed to. Now dreams just feel... unwanted. I would ask Miss Luna directly, but I'm afraid that isn't really an option anymore as we aren't exactly on the best of terms. I sincerely hope that she can forgive me if I apologize, but I'm afraid to try. To be blunt, she tried to kill me, which I think might only be a natural reaction after what I did. It gives me nightmares myself. But this one, I'm hesitant to call it a nightmare...

I dreamed that I found a puppy in my room with four broken legs. It was whimpering and crying, and it screamed like a baby every time it moved. I picked it up in both hands, and... turned its head. And kept turning. And kept turning. And I could hear the neck bones snapping, it felt so... brittle, almost like a peppermint stick, I could hear it breaking and cracking but the more I twisted its head the more it just... cried.

I think I might be ill.

Another unfamiliar room.

William stared up at the ceiling and right up through to the sky where his thoughts wandered, his eyes long since adjusted to the lack of light. The moon hid its face abashedly behind a curtain of clouds, pregnant with the potential of rain. The elusive embrace of sleep seemed so very far away, and consciousness stayed an unfortunate reality.

The downy quilt he had been given was surprisingly comfortable and the futon he lay on equally so, but he doubted sleep would come even if Eris weren't quietly snoring in the bed to his side. William released a soft sigh through his nostrils, feeling his ears redden and turning away from her. Something about watching her while she slept, with one leg sticking from beneath the covers and tail pulled up to her side seemed strange, even if he couldn't identify why.

Just stop thinking. That's all it takes to sleep. Just stop thinking.

No matter how many times he repeated his mantra to himself, it felt as if it made no more sense than requesting himself to stop breathing. Although not entirely alert he remained incapable of keeping his eyes closed for more than a few moments, the scritching and scratching fear of falling back into the nightmares prevalent. He laid there for what felt like hours, the seconds ticking by arduously, one minute after another crawling past at a snail's pace. It felt like an eternity was going by, and for the hundredth time his mind unwillingly wandered back to just what eternity might feel like. It felt like the book beneath the futon was pressing into his head, jabbing him at the base of his skull even though he knew it wasn't. But mostly, it just felt a bit cold.

William sighed again, tucking the worn journal Lyra had generously presented him upon his request beneath the bed instead before silently clambering with some difficulty beneath the blankets beside Eris. He laid still next to her for a while, her warmth spreading to him slowly and developing a small shard of hope that perhaps sleep might come after all, and although his back was turned to her somehow it felt as if she were smiling.

William smiled too.

In the depths of the journal, the ink began to stir.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

Sorry for the chapter length, been a bit busy as of late. More updates on the way!

You Are Not Alone

0-0-0-0-0

The chirp of early morning birds eloped with a slight chill, the familiar marriage tickling Eris's ears with the unfortunate recognition of consciousness. She twitched out of her hazy dream and into the thorny light of awakening, blearily yawning and stretching to let the length of her body lazily flop out of bed. It was much earlier than she'd have preferred to awaken, but the temptation to crawl back beneath the blankets was stifled by the realization that aside from herself, the room was completely empty.

She blinked, and it took a moment for her to remember where she was. There was no sign of William however, and the futon that had lain on the floor nearby was found neatly placed beneath the bed. Eris frowned, stretching again hard and rubbing her lower back.

Where had he gone...?

The quiet sound of chatter alerted her, slowly but surely drawing her down the hall to to the dining room with her mismatched feet dragging. A plain table with a checkered tablecloth held a small but impressive selection of pastries, looking barely touched between the unicorn and colt.

“Morning!” Lyra beamed, magically waving the pastry she'd been holding in the air. “I know it's really early, did we wake you?”

“No,” Eris lied, dropping wearily into the seat between them. “Whu'z goin' on?”

“We've been talking most of the morning,” William answered sleepily, almost apologetically. He pointed to his nearly full cup of coffee, Eris decidedly nabbing one of her own. “... I couldn't sleep anyway. Coffee's fresh, but save some for Miss Bon Bon please.”

“William has just been telling me about stuff,” Lyra nodded, finishing off her pastry.

“Stuff?” Eris blinked the remaining sleep from her eyes, dumping a handful of sugarcubes into her cup by rote.

“Let's see,” William mused aloud, hoof on his chin. “Topics ranged from Father, to Miss Sparkle, to Mother, the princesses, and ourselves.”

Eris looked back and forth between the two for a moment before taking a long swig from the surprisingly still bitter coffee.

“So you've just been gossiping like schoolgirls the whole time,” Eris snorted finally, shaking her head.

“Oh, hardly,” William rolled his eyes. “Mediocrity envelops the mind discussing only people, I'm far more interested in Miss Lyra's theories on Laggard's Field resonance.”

“Lag- what?” she balked.

“This colt,” Lyra grinned ecstatically, jabbing a hoof in his direction. “Celestia's flank, I have never met any colt with as much knowledge on the history of magical development as him, it's insane.”

“I do pride myself in those regards.” The smug positively dripped from his voice. Eris found herself extremely irritated, but pushed it off. “Those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it.”

“Oh, ha, ha,” Eris harrumphed sarcastically.

“We were just talking about you, actually,” Lyra admitted. “I've got tons of things I really wanted to ask, but I didn't want to keep you up all night; did you really come from another world too? What's it like? Are there other draconequuses? What brought you here? Did-”

“Hang on, hang on!” Eris scowled. “Christ, one at a time! Enough with the third degree already, Jesus!”

“Sorry,” Lyra gave a small sheepish grin, hanging her head a little. “I'm just still excited is all.”

“Completely understandable,” William tilted his head, slipping Eris a curious look. “By all means, Miss Lyra, we're happy to answer any and all questions.”

“Can we not?” she frowned again. “I'd really prefer we not.”

“You're grumpy this morning,” William teased her.

“And you're being weirder than normal,” Eris deadpanned. “I mean, a lot weirder. What's up with you?”

“I'm just happy to have an intelligent discussion now and then,” he crossed his hooves, almost falling out of his chair.

“I'm intelligent!” she retorted angrily. “What, am I not smart enough now?”

“I didn't say that,” he replied with a sniff. “But conversations with you go in circles.”

“Your mom's a circle.”

“You see?” William rolled his hooves in a circle, almost slipping again. “You see what I mean now? There's no stimulating banter. Miss Lyra provides.”

“Er,thank you... I guess?” Lyra said, looking back and forth between the two.

“'Stimulating banter', my ass,” Eris snorted again. “You just like older women. Admit it.”

“Well... yes.” William's brows furrowed deeply, a hint of color rising in his already pink cheeks. “I hardly see what that has to do with anything.”

Lyra only shook her head, grinning.

“I swear,” she tutted. “You two are like an old married couple.”

“I didn't say anything about marrying my sister!” William blurted heatedly.

“Funny,” Eris snagged one of the pastries for herself, trying to look disinterested but surprisingly had a tinge of pink in her face as well. “It wasn't that long ago you were swearing to everybody we weren't even related.”

“We aren't,” he shot back.

“Yeah, well...” the draconequus stuck out her tongue. “You're adopted.”

“So are you!”

“Your mom is adopted!”

“So,” Lyra coughed loudly into her hoof, her discomfort obvious and making them both shrink back. “We've got some things to do today,” she tapped the scrolled up parchment that Twilight had insisted she take, letting it roll a bit on the table. “Missus Twilight said that she'd be here at eight sharp, so you guys might want to go wash up and get ready for today.”

“Wait, what?” Eris blinked, stopping mid-bite. “Why? Is she just stalking us now?”

“Do you want to tell her, or should I?” William asked seriously. Lyra blew a lock of mane from her face with a heavy breath.

“Actually,” Lyra started slowly. “Missus Twilight is just coming to, er... escort everypony.”

“'Escort?'” Eris repeated in disbelief. Lyra only shrugged.

“We're to both be tested,” William explained.

“Whoa, nobody mentioned needles!” she flinched, eyes wide.

“Not like that,” he rolled his eyes. “Consider it a placement test of sorts.”

“For what?”

“Look at the bright side,” the unicorn smiled. “You get to go to school!”

This did not sit well with Eris.

From the way that she bolted from the table, darting around the corner and careening directly into a very sleepy (and very surprised) Bon Bon, it did not sit very well with her at all.

0-0-0-0-0

If she had done something to anger Spike, Twilight wasn't aware of it.

Normally her assistant was happy to follow directions to the letter, helping in any way that he could, but today he seemed so inordinately restless. Instead of keeping a close eye on the 'chaos spawn', Spike could be found meandering the library, coming back to the main room to stare at herself and her guest for only a moment before taking off, dragging his feet the whole way.

Twilight bit her lower lip for the umpteenth time that day, brows furrowed. She was going to bite it off if he kept making her worry, but she pressed it back to focus on current matters.

“Will they even be accepted there?” Lyra asked, teacup floating in a small magical field before her.

“I've already gone over everything with Cheerilee,” Twilight nodded forcefully, her nonstop pacing rhythmically beating a clop, clop, clop into the floor. “She's a good mare and a decent teacher. She'll be able to handle them just fine.”

“That's good, then...” the unicorn said, thinking. “But if you're really concerned about, um... that, wouldn't it be easier to have them enrolled at Canterlot...?”

“In theory, it sounds good,” Twilight agreed. “But considering the circumstances, I would much rather have them both within arm's reach for now, especially now.”

“So what exactly did you find out?” Lyra pried, still maintaining her patience. “I really hope I haven't been sitting here for three hours for nothing, after all.”

“It's really not personal at all that I don't let anypony else administer, er, tests of these variety,” the librarian answered abashedly. “I've just been a bit worried, and what with the results...”

She left her sentence hanging as she trailed off into thought, leaving Lyra with a slightly irritated look. She sat waiting on Twilight for several long moments before finally rolling her hoof for her to continue.

“S-sorry,” she forced a small grin. “We'll start with the easy one,” Twilight resumed pacing, not even having realized that she'd stopped. She magically levitated a manila folder to herself, leafing through it for a few seconds before stopping and clearing her throat. “Right. I'll keep the summary short. Eris 'Tumulto' the draconequus, age unknown, bizarre physiology; by all rights she shouldn't even be alive, let alone so energetic, but I digress. No knowledge of Equestrian geology, no historical events, no knowledge of political parties, I mean...!”

Twilight held the folder away, revealing her confusion.

“I mean...” she struggled. “It's just crazy, it's like she's been living under a rock her entire life. I'm surprised she can manage anywhere at all, she doesn't even know how Equestrian currency works!”

“So... she's a little... slow?” Lyra cringed. “I mean, some are just late bloomers, I get that, but are you serious? How does she not know... well... anything?”

“I didn't say that,” Twilight frowned. “Don't get me wrong, Eris knows plenty, giving at least a little credence to the whole 'otherly worlds' bit. It's just that some of her knowledge is so... peculiar, so alien that I'm not even sure what to do it with it all! Don't get me wrong, she is undoubtedly brilliant, but her education is patchwork, so weird, I mean... I mean... well, just look at this.”

Lyra curiously peered about as Spike meandered by once again, silently ensuring that Eris and William stayed precisely where they were; from the sound of it they had no intentions of intervening, and Lyra took a closer look at the paper-filled folder.

What she saw within was far beyond 'peculiar'.

Reams and reams of papers came fluttering out, and she was quick to grab them but even when she did couldn't tell whether or not she was even holding them the right way up. Several looked to have been drawn on quite recently, some of which were terrible (occasionally colored) sketches of locations she had never seen, creatures she couldn't imagine, and machines no sane pony had ever dreamed of. Lyra gawked at one paper after another, the next even stranger than the last. One that caught her eye appeared to be some sort of vehicular beetle with fat wheels, belching smoke out of one end with a thin figure trapped at the other.

“... What am I even looking at?” Lyra breathed at last, her mind abuzz with curiosity and confusion.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Twilight rubbed her temples wearily. “You should see the magic picture box powered by lightning, Eris had a field day trying to diagram that one.”

“A lot of these are... what, exactly?” Lyra leafed through some more, a small shiver rolling up her spine at one drawing in particular. It wasn't highly detailed, and it was clear that it had been scribbled in a hurry, but the depiction upset her deeply for some reason. High chain link fences wrapped around what appeared to be an encampment of some sort, the same thin bipedal figures in striped pajamas she saw in most of the other pictures standing behind it looking outward. Wire wrapped with barbs lined the top of the fence, and a little scrawled message with an arrow at the bottom read something unintelligible.

“... That would be the 'concentration camp,' apparently,” Twilight added somberly when she realized what Lyra had been staring at.

“A what camp?”

“You don't want to know,” she stated expressionlessly, magically replacing all of the papers together and wrapping the whole folder in a thick twine. “I wanted to find out, and by the sun and stars I wish to Celestia I'd never asked.”

“R-right...” Lyra shifted uncomfortably at the oddly haunted look from the mare before her. “Did, er... did William draw a bunch of pictures to put on the ice box too?”

Twilight managed a small snort at the meager attempt at a joke, and shook her head.

“Hardly. His was, well... probably even stranger, to be honest,” she sighed heavily, pushing the mane from her eyes before continuing. “Take everything I said about Eris, then reverse it and you've got him in a nutshell.”

“How so?” Lyra leaned forward, her already cold tea long forgotten.

“Well,” she unraveled a surprisingly large scroll, sliding her hoof downward a bit. “For example, William was able to identify literally every variety of local flora off the top of his head, the current and political states of every capital from here all the way to the Zebrican mainland and even Griffonia – he knows advanced trigonometry, his astronomy charts, done from memory alone, like I taught him myself, and this colt's education on Equestrian history and genealogy is so far out of the average pony's league that there are college professors I've interviewed who couldn't recite as much.”

Lyra let out a low whistle, eyebrows rising into her mane.

“I'm not done,” Twilight breathed, ceasing her pacing at last. “I am not even kidding, this colt is beyond intelligent, he is ingenious. He has impossibly advanced knowledge of technology, even more so than Eris – he's got an almost perfect memory, his problem solving skills were tested and found far above the bell curve, and then, and then-” Twilight was visibly shaking by this point, rolling up the scroll. “And then, just out of nowhere, he starts telling me about genetics – genetics, for Celestia's sake! Actual microscopic and cellular education that could advance the field of science lightyears further than what we already know, and all of this coming from a colt!”

Twilight heaved a heavy puff of breath, nervously glancing back in the direction of the other room. Shockingly enough the odd pair that Lyra had adopted were still chatting away, like everything was perfectly normal.

“So...” Lyra started, only to be cut off.

“There's more.”

“There's more?” she gaped.

“This colt, this... William Klaskovsky,” she breathed shakily. “Has, quite possibly, the most extensive comprehension of magic that I have ever seen in my entire life, and I studied exclusively under the princess herself.”

“And... what exactly does this mean?” Lyra frowned, each new piece of information colliding with the next. “So, he's a genius, I guess. How is that so bad?”

“It's phenomenally bad,” Twilight shuddered. “Miss Lyra – can I just call you Lyra?” she added with a hint of exasperation. “Look, Lyra; he has knowledge of future events. That, coupled with just the magical knowledge he has now, already spells disaster, I can taste it.”

“He did seem to know a bit about magic when I talked to him about it, yeah.” She rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

“You don't quite seem to understand,” Twilight pursed her lips tightly. “It's not just how educated he is on unicorn magic or even magic in general, it's what he knows.”

“Okay...” Lyra nodded slowly. “And what exactly would that be?”

“In short?” Twilight dropped onto the seat beside her, lowering her voice. “In short, too much. I'm talking advanced alteration spells, transformations, even lunar compulsion curses. Long distance monitor spells, rapid acceleration enchantments, memory transferal charms, and the battle hexes – Celestia's teats, the battle hexes. Excuse me,” she coughed sheepishly into her hoof. “I mean... nopony, especially not a colt, should have that kind of information about spells that could cause so much... damage.”

“How is that even possible?” Lyra mused, more interested than anything else. Twilight, however, did not seem to share in her enthusiasm.

“That's just it,” she sighed again. “He refuses to tell me. However he learned so much, he's either angry that I'm trying to find out, or he's afraid and he doesn't want anypony to know.”

“Then why-”

“There's more.”

“You're joking,” Lyra's brows furrowed, and she nearly knocked over her now chilled cup of tea. A simple spell was enough to reheat it, but she still didn't bother drinking. “There's more. More. How much more?”

“I... asked him to describe basic movement spells,” Twilight started uneasily, unable to quite look straight at Lyra.

“And?”

“And he actually performed it.”

That threw Lyra for a loop more than anything else.

“... Se-seriously?” she balked.

“An earth pony, no less,” Twilight reminded her, as if it weren't already obvious as to why she had been so shocked. “Granted, it was only a few centimeters, but he definitely moved the paperweight telekinetically, no mistaking it; and he just acted like it was nothing important, like he was a unicorn. I've seen earth pony magic at its height, but there's no way he should be able to do that.”

Lyra didn't have an answer to that, entrenched deep in thought.

“I've never seen anything like it,” Twilight continued after a bit. “I mean, if I had known any of this before... well. That's beside the point, the main thing is, he should not be able to do that, and-and I'm considering... quaranti-”

“You want to lock him up?”

Twilight let out an audible hiss, flinching before checking to ensure they weren't being overheard.

“If it comes to that.”

“For what?” Lyra demanded.

“You still don't seem to understand,” she stated quietly, her face paling. “Even if it weren't for the apparent latent magical abilities that he shouldn't have, he is dangerous.”

“He's a colt!” she insisted in a furious hushed whisper. “So he moved a paperweight, big whoop-”

“Knowledge is dangerous, Lyra!” Twilight was nearly butting heads with her. “Especially what he knows! That's what terrifies me so much! He's practically a ticking time bomb!”

Lyra bit her tongue, watching the librarian intently.

“You have to understand,” Twilight pressed on. “You need to know just what you're getting yourself into with these two, just what could go wrong at any given moment-”

“I disagree,” Lyra crossed her forehooves. “I don't think they're dangerous, not either one of them; far from it. You already told me that Eris has no power whatsoever on her own, and Will just seems... he just seems like a colt.”

“And therein lies one of my biggest problems,” Twilight harrumphed. “He is, when all is said and done, just a colt – and there is no colt in Equestria that should know what he does, have the potential for raw, concentrated magical power. Power of a god in the hooves of a colt, Lyra.”

“Do you really believe that?” Lyra asked after a long stretch of silence, looking past her and into the kitchen. Sill there sat William and Eris, the colt with his hooves folded neatly before him, the two of them so lost in conversation that it was no wonder they hadn't overheard.

“You might see potential for danger, or trouble, or outright chaos,” Lyra said adamantly. “But I just see a couple of foals who needed help, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.”

Twilight started to reply, only to slowly close her mouth and let out another long, heavy sigh through her nostrils.

“Has he told you that he still thinks Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are his 'mothers' yet?” Twilight asked quietly.

“Er... yes,” she admitted. “That part was kind of, uh... weird, at points.”

“Everything we just talked about,” Twilight looked her dead in the eye. “All of it, from start to finish? You think that's weird? Lyra, we're just scratching the tip of the iceberg. Despite what you or anypony else thinks, they are not – repeat, are not 'just foals'. Those two are offspring of Discord himself...!”

“And they're practically harmless!” Lyra threw out her hooves toward the oblivious couple in exasperation.

“They appear it, yes,” she nodded. “And that scares the Tartarus out of me. Titans know why Celestia wanted me to help them integrate safely into society, but I think I'm getting the picture.”

They sat in silence for a while, each mare wordlessly pondering her own suspicious thoughts, and neither with the courage to share them for what felt like forever.

“I'm not just going to abandon them.” Lyra’s flat stare met Twilight’s hard glare once more.

“I wouldn't ask you to,” Twilight responded lowly. “I just want you to know exactly what you need to do if things go wrong, and it's probably going to be hard to hear.”

0-0-0-0-0

You need me.

“What?”

“I said I think my brain's leaking out of my ears,” Eris flopped her head down on the table miserably across from William. “I can't take any more of this shit, dude.”

“Oh, it's not that bad,” he folded his hooves together calmly, the surprisingly pleased chatter from Twilight and Lyra in the room adjacent occasionally breaking in. “Really, it could be far worse.”

“You,” Eris tilted her head up with a scowl. “See, you didn't get all hooked up to a freaking machine in the basement. God, I think that thing gave me cancer,” she prodded her chest worriedly.

You are not alone.

William had found the entire process rather like busy work – whereas Eris was separated for 'alternative testing' including a full medical examination (which she was only too happy to complain about) strangely, William received almost nothing but paperwork. Granted, Twilight had given him a very brief examination as well, but her attention had been almost completely consumed by Eris for the last three hours, and despite enjoying the silence initially he was glad to have her back.

“-and I think she got part of that stethoscope deliberately in there, I swear to god she keeps it in an ice bucket or something, bitch be trippin', I did not need that done nor should anyone for crying out loud, haven't any of these people heard of personal space? I mean, god, if I had a nickel-”

Mostly glad.

“Hey,” Spike managed to make himself heard eventually, poking his head around the corner and staring at the odd couple taking up their kitchen. “Hey! Twi said you guys can come back now, you know that, right?”

“Tell 'er to eat me,” Eris's head hit the table again with a groan, but she eventually pulled herself up to follow William, who had begun tailing the miniature drake almost instantly.

Lyra sat comfortably on the sofa with one leg crossed over the other, calmly levitating a cup of tea before patting the seat beside her welcomingly. Twilight, on the other hand, stood off to one side, silently masking the fact that she was still very much fuming.

“You rang?” the draconequus uttered in a guttural, mocking tone, giving a little half-bow as she approached.

“... Ring what?” Twilight balked at her. Eris only sighed, shoulders heaving heavily.

“I'm unappreciated in my time.”

“Eris,” Twilight started slowly. “Um... just as an aside, please, please behave yourself, I really don't want another letter from the princess like the last one.”

William gave Eris an odd look but kept his mouth shut.

“No idea what you're talking about,” Eris waved her off dismissively.

“Eris,” Twilight said a little testily, noting that the draconequus was clearly avoiding her gaze. “It involved harassing royal guards and telling them to-to... well, don't say anything about forceful rectal insertions next time!” she blurted at last, flustered and blushing.

Lyra was suddenly overcome by an extremely powerful sneezing fit which sounded suspiciously like sniggering.

“Right,” the librarian nodded eventually, gradually pulling her eyes away from the ever stranger specimen. “Just wanted to tell you both now; William, Eris, Mi- er, Lyra is going to take it from here. Don't worry, nopony is going to make you go to school today, but you're both registered and you'll be safely under Miss Cheerilee's tutelage in no time flat! Also the princess will be here any minute,” she rushed out in a quiet tone, almost nervously.

Eris only gave her a deadpan stare.

“You say that like it's a good thing- “ she started to grumble, but not loud enough to be heard before jerking her head. “Hold on, what?

“Oh, don't be so sour!” Lyra said cheerfully as William wobblingly clambered onto the sofa next to her.

“She's right,” Twilight insisted. “Think of it this way, Eris! You're much better off than you were before with ponies that care about your well being. And with Princess Celestia's help, everything is going to be just fine, I promise.”

Eris still stood, arms crossed furiously and staring at her as if she'd grown a second head.

“... So what about Dad?” she threw out her arms at last. “What about him, huh?”

“He's the god of chaos,” Twilight tutted, nudging the reluctant draconequus along at last. “I'm sure that Discord is perfectly safe and happy... wherever he is.”

0-0-0-0-0

Discord screamed in pain, twitching violently with the rhythmic electrical spasms jittering through him. He was soon buckling under the immense magically propelled gravity pillar, no powers of chaos flooding from his talons, not even so much as a trickle to defend himself with. Electricity crackled along his limbs, causing him to constrict and jerk as if yanked by an invisible puppeteer. He wheezed defiantly, his face pressed hard to the floor, but his eyes remained locked firmly on his aggressor.

“One hundred seventy-four,” Yolk yawned, effortlessly blasting Discord again within the runed circle with the pillar hanging over him, accentuating each number with another painfully forceful slam. “One hundred seventy-five, one hundred seventy-six... this is practically effortless, I can do this all day, Discord.”

“When – I get – out – of here...!” he wheezed through the spare breaths he had when not being forcibly pummeled by the conjured pillar, “I – am going – to do – horrible things – to you!”

“Yes, like you did my baby brother? Don't even bother, this spell was designed for you, it's completely indestructible from within.” Yolk White readjusted her glasses calmly, staring down at him as if he were an insect on the wall and not a being of unfathomable power trapped under what might as well have been a very large glass. He could still feel the ethereal tug in his gut pulling him away, hauling at him agonizingly, but unable to properly leave the summoning circle. From the strength of the call he'd have guessed it was Twilight or perhaps the princess herself, but there was no way of telling from his ephemeral cage, and he wasn't about to tell Yolk anything useful, even if only out of spite.

“I've made it very easy for you. All you have to do is tell me where he is, what you did to Egg, and I'll let you go.”

The inside is indestructible, huh...?

Discord managed to meet her eyes for a brief second before the pillar came crashing painfully back down, his form realigning itself before the spell could finish obliterating him. All it would take is one little confession and she'd finally release him. Just a couple of simple words was all it would take to make it stop, and he'd be free at last. Free to answer the call and make the wrenching pain wracking his body from failing to respond end, and turn his fury upon the mare who dared imprison a god.

“I hope you choke.”

Discord flinched in expectation of the pain returning, but he felt nothing; for a split moment he hoped that she had released him, but the watery vision indicating he was still very much sealed within the runed circle dashed that hope instantly. Yolk only watched him, small emerald glow atop her horn basking her irritation in a grim light.

“... Are you really that thick?” she scowled. “I am trying to make it easy on you here.”

“Says the mare beating my head into the floor,” he stated flatly, still unable to push himself up from the weight.

“I lied for you, you piece of scum!” Yolk seethed through clenched teeth. “I betrayed my princess, my country for you, and for what?!”

Discord said nothing as she glowered down at him, her nostrils flaring.

“Did you really think that the Organization wouldn't have one of their own members protected?” she fumed. “Two years, Discord – two years of my life, gone! I did everything you said, I followed orders to the letter, and you still didn't hold up your end of the bargain!”

“Neither did you,” he shot back.

“How was I supposed to know your brat would try to change history?” Yolk rammed him with the magical pillar again, and a couple more times for good measure. “I watched your troublemakers day and night, I lied to my superiors and protected them from every damn thing you should have, I turned traitor for you, you... dirty, filthy, scum!”

She finally stopped slamming the crackling magical column of energy atop him, only to find the gasping draconequus reacting in a more disturbing manner than if he had been threatening her as before.

He was giggling.

“... What's so funny?” Yolk ceased the battering with another flick of her horn. “Do you realize what's going to happen to you if you don't just cough up the information and tell me where my little brother is?”

“Outside,” he hacked, grin plastered to his face.

“What do you mean, outside?” Yolk drew in closer to the draconequus.

Come on little mare. Just a little closer. Just a single hoof over that line, just a HAIR, come one, come on...

“Outside,” he whispered breathily as she drew closer, ears erect. “Outside of space, and time, outside the illusory veil of reality.”

“Give me a straight answer!” Yolk threateningly drew the pillar of magic higher. “Or I'm throwing you to the Timberwolves, I swear it, Discord! We had a deal!”

“A deal that won't be made for another two years in your timeline,” he laughed weakly. “A deal now considered null – and – void.”

Yolk White didn't slam him again. She didn't respond, she didn't even blink for several long moments.

“So you're openly admitting that you're never giving my brother back,” she said in a soft tone. “Maybe you never planned to give him back at all. That's okay, Discord.”

A sudden dreadful icicle pricked his heart, and Yolk began casting another spell.

“That's just fine,” Yolk continued with fire in her emerald eyes. “If I don't have the authority to drag it out of you, I have the power to get somepony that does. Well, not pony, exactly...”

“What do you mean by that?” Discord put all of his effort into pushing off the floor, but the magical pillar that had been crushing him before was long gone.

“If we're two years back, then I still have a perfectly clean record, and no need for a guilty conscience,” she answered smartly. “You brought this on yourself, traitor. There isn't a single member of the Organization that doesn't know how to contact the Council, and I will tear you apart if it means getting my baby brother back!”

“You- you're bluffing,” he cringed as an unfamiliar magic began to encompass Yolk's horn, bubbling with a cruel violet and black instead of the brilliant green that had whirled from her before. A thunderous tempest began to rattle her office, blasting papers everywhere in a boisterous cacophony. “Yolk – White, stop this, you don't understand what you're doing!”

“You had your chance!” Yolk spat in disgust, the vile color of the summoning magic seeping ever so slowly into her eyes. It grew like a vine up her eyeballs as her incantation resumed, bolstering the tornado of power that blasted the room. From the force of it, Discord could have sworn that maybe, just maybe, his impromptu prison might begin to crack...

“Yolk!” Discord screamed, scrabbling desperately at the barrier holding him in and suppressing his power. Anything to distract her further, draw her attention away. “Stop, stop! I swear, it's not that I wouldn't, I can't, you have to listen to me! Stop!”

Anything he shouted might as well have been whispered for all she reacted, or perhaps she really couldn't hear him over the storm roiling literally around them. Regardless, her attention was swayed from him long enough that the imprisonment spell wouldn't be held at full strength...

Instead of relying on any of his own power, Discord reached out to the infernal ceaseless pulling sensation that he had so cursed before. If it could act as his savior now he silently vowed he'd never complain about it again, just so long as he could reach out a little further...

A weak sliver, just a tiny splinter began to appear before his eyes.

Granted, that was all he needed.

0-0-0-0-0

Biscuits, William thought silently to himself, were very nice. The ones provided by Miss Sparkle were pleasantly warm and fresh, and the quiet in the library was greatly appreciated. He could lose himself in his thoughts as Celestia kindly but firmly spoke to Eris. He could even appreciate how sheepish and quiet Eris had grown, compared to her regular noisy self William considered this very nice too. He pondered in wordless contemplation next to Lyra on the sofa, just enjoying the company.

It was almost peaceful, for a minute.

It was a nice day.

For a minute.

The screams of fright and surprise were lost amongst the explosion that erupted in the middle of the library. Books and leafs of paper went flying at lethal speeds, some of which left a burning streak in the air as they burst into flame.

“Holy Christ!” Eris shrieked over the destruction, Twilight frantically trying to magically salvage her library in horror. “What the hell-”

Eris was swiftly covered by an enormous alabaster wing, pushing her back and preventing her from seeing the action; it took Eris a full beat to realize, however, that Celestia wasn't pushing her back at all, but protectively blocking the barrage of flaming projectiles with her own body. A brilliant flare of golden glow halted the fiery rain in an instant, giving the others more time to react.

Lyra was already on the way of trying to pull William away from the source of chaos, but the colt wriggled free from her grasp and darted to the crumpled form of Discord regardless.

A gargantuan black stain had been burned into the floor from where he'd burst into reality, scorch marks splintering across the floor like a gigantic ebony spider made its home in the center of Twilight's library. Smack dab in the middle of the destruction lay the unmoving figure, several trails of smoke still wavering off him.

“Father's hurt!” William blurted in concern, scrambling to his side only to reactively jerk away when his hooves were painfully burned at the touch. William worriedly tried blowing out a small fire on Discord's ear tip, resulting in yet another trail of smoke.

He stumbled backward in shock when Discord lurched toward him without warning, one talon snagging his shoulder as he reached for Eris with his free hand.

“Discord,” Celestia kept her firmly behind her wing, Twilight teetering on the side as if she were unsure of what to do. “What's going on?”

“Eris!” the draconequus coughed breathily, signaling her to come closer. “Time's up!”

“What, now?!”

“Discord!” the princess readjusted her tiara that had been knocked aside from the force of the blast, simultaneously physically pushing the reluctant draconequus back from the crippled god of chaos. “What did you do this time?”

“There's no time!” he screamed, and William cringed in his grip. He had never seen Discord shout at anyone like that, especially not in such a full blown panic. “We have to go, we have to go now!”

“Explain yourself!” she demanded. “Discord, what is the meaning of this? Why did you not respond earlier, what's going on?”

“Celestia,” Discord's bloodshot eyes rolled in fear, leaning on William's pink shoulder for support as he struggled to stand. “I'll explain everything, but let her go, we have to leave, now!”

“He's right you know,” an identical Discord nodded knowingly from directly behind him. “The Council is going to be here any minute.”

“See?!” Discord jabbed a slightly crispy thumb behind himself. “He knows, the Council could – oh.”

“Yes,” Yolk White dusted an invisible speck of dust from her shoulder, appearing quietly from behind the much less-toasted Discord. “The Council could most certainly oh in a lot of areas.”

“I don't follow that in the slightest,” the newer Discord said cheerfully, a couple of others silently appearing to surround them all. They did not pop into existence as the burned Discord did; rather, they simply started existing, as if they had been there all along and the world had just been too slow to realize it.

“You!” William spluttered upon spotting the bespectacled mare. “Princess -” he rammed a hoof toward Yolk, enraged, “- that mare is a fraud!”

“Yes,” Celestia said bluntly. “I know.”

“I know for a fact that-that, I-I, um... what?”

“I know,” Princess Celestia stated expressionlessly. “Yolk is a member of a small group directly under royal orders.”

“What the actual fuck is going on?!” Eris blurted at last, throwing out her arms to her sides.

“Not exactly how I would have phrased it, but I am curious as well, Princess,” Twilight carefully fixed her hair, brushing out a couple of cinders and casting a forlorn gaze to her poor books. Spike poked a wide-eyed head from around the corner, keeping close watch on the area and multiple Discords.

“I assume you've already discovered that Dr. White isn't precisely who she says that she is,” Celestia nodded in Yolk's direction, who proudly bowed before her.

“I don't even think we've met,” Twilight nodded politely.

“We have...” Yolk frowned. “You just don't remember.”

“... Spooky,” Lyra grinned uneasily, looking back and forth between the unicorns. “So how-”

“If you're all quite finished,” the Council Discord coughed loudly into one paw. “Celestia, good to see you again by the way. We're here on business.”

Celestia gave a single understanding nod, but still did not cease to keep one wing spread in front of Eris.

“I assumed as much,” the princess answered quietly. “Is it truly time?”

“What?” the Council member balked. “Oh, no, we're not here for that,” he drew something out from behind his back that certainly shouldn't have been there before, and probably shouldn't have been there at all. “No, we're here for him.”

William's mouth dropped at the familiar thing, his own dangling motionless human body a curiosity in the opposite Discord's grasp. At first, all were enraptured by the strange creature that he held aloft, but that was eventually changed by the Council member's directed stare. Every head in the room slowly turned from the bizarre sight to the vulnerable Discord at William's side.

And, eventually, William finally realized that they weren't staring at Discord.

They were staring at him.

“... What?” he shifted under the uncomfortable silence, Discord's iron grip still pinching his shoulder.

“William...” Discord explained quietly, although the entire room could easily hear from how still it was. “When you... adjusted reality when using the powers of chaos, you changed... things.”

“You mean turning back time?” William looked up at him fearfully, throwing a single glance to his dangling human counterpart. “But-but I thought-”

“The Council is unconcerned about the irregularities in the flow of time on mortal worlds,” the new Discord said with authority.

“Then...” William furrowed his brows, looking at the lifeless body as if he were being given an obvious clue. “Then what...?”

“A hundred million worlds,” the draconequus at his shoulder gave him a little squeeze. “All of them with a suddenly missing little boy.”

“... Oh. That.”

“Yes,” Council Discord frowned. “That.”

William swallowed audibly, looking around for any sign of help from the many faces, but none was forthcoming.

“So... does-does this mean I'll be...” he found his throat mysteriously constricting, like unseen fingers were tightening around his neck.

“... No,” Discord shook his head. “You won't. I will.”

“Is this because of what I did before to...?”

“William,” Discord said through clenched teeth as motion from around them seemed to blur, like they couldn't quite notice what was moving. “You played with forces that you don't fully understand, and when you killed your grandfather you caused a serious ripple effect-”

“Grandfather?” William balked, noticing his immediate flinch. “That-that was... oh god, oh my god, why didn't you tell me?!”

“This shit's getting good,” Eris muttered in Celestia's ear. “You bring popcorn?”

Celestia did not seem to have a response.

“I believe that I can answer that,” Yolk chimed in, refusing to be left out. “You see, I believe that Discord here – not you, dear,” she brushed past the Council member, “He has been keeping a little secret of his own, haven't you, Discord?”

“Enjoying this?” he said without any emotion whatsoever, locking eyes with the mare and staring down at her. “Make you feel like a big girl, hmm?”

“Discord,” Celestia turned her attention to the burn victim. “I do hope I'm not about to hear what I think I'm about to hear.”

“You see,” Council member number one dropped William's human body to the floor. “He thought he'd try to play clever by inserting the memory and a similar soul into the same body and get off scot -free.”

“So...” William touched a hoof to the side of his head in confusion, his mind abuzz with questions. “So... this isn't even my body, really?”

“It's a facsimile, yes,” the draconequus murmured wearily, his shoulders far more slumped than usual. “I... needed to make you a new body from scratch, but I didn't have a lot to go off of right away. I had to make do.”

“I'm... I'm a copy of somebody else?”

“You're in a copy of somebody else,” Discord corrected him.

There were other noises that William could have sworn were words, but he couldn't hear any of them over the internal screaming.

“And the sleazy prick – sorry, pardon my language, Princess,” Yolk stopped suddenly to bow to Celestia, abashed, before continuing. “Discord tried to make off with my little brother's soul trapped in that alien body, sacrificing it to the Council so that he could get away with the crime of the century!” she breathed triumphantly, her cheeks glowing.

“Nope,” the Council member corrected her. “Way off.”

“And now,” Yolk White pointed at the body. “Now, I'm going to make you give Egg back, I told you-”

“That's not your brother,” Council Discord said again.

“- that I would win, I-I told... um... sorry,” she shook her head, blinking up at him in honest befuddlement. “Sorry, what?”

“That's not Egg White,” the Discord by William stated miserably.

“What?”

“Nope,” Council Discord added far too cheerfully.

“What?”

“I did say similar soul,” the draconequus beside Yolk gave the lifeless body a small kick.

“... What?!”

“So...” Eris interjected, raising a questioning eyebrow to her father. “So if Will killed his grandfather and set off a ripple effect and wiped out all the other Williams in existence, that means it killed all of his dads too... right?”

“All except one,” the unnecessarily camp Discord beamed. “One little Neil Klaskovsky, locked away in a personal torture chamber in a teeny tiny little pocket dimension.”

“Discord,” Celestia almost exploded, causing Eris to lurch back in surprise at the sheer heat waving off of her. “You told me that was destroyed!”

“Actually,” he said tiredly, “I said it would be destroyed. And now it is.”

“Discord!”

“What?” he snapped, making William feel extremely uncomfortable at how tight his grip was on his shoulder, which was beginning to lose feeling. “Look, it's gone now, that's all that's important, let's just get this over with-”

“Nobody going to guess which soul is in it?” Council Discord gave the body another chipper kick. “Anybody? Anyone at all.”

“Please stop kicking me,” William cringed.

“It's Neil!” Eris gaped at him in horror. “Oh my god, dad, what the fuck-”

“They were going to torture him for eternity anyway!” he threw up his arms in exasperation. William wasted no time in examining his human form, the bouncing thoughts in his head long gone, leaving him feeling strangely hollow. “I saved William from that, how am I the bad guy here?”

“Discord,” Celestia seethed in quiet fury. “I am not intervening this time.”

“Oh, come on,” Discord rolled his eyes grumpily. “It's one little soul that nobody would ever even miss-”

“Did I mention that his pocket dimension contained about three billion other souls?” Council Discord butted in happily, delighting in his dismay. “Tut, tut, tut. Three billion souls. Three. Billion. Billion. Bil-”

“Shut up,” he harrumphed, crossing his smoked arms. “Can you do that for me? Shut up.”

“That's... that's pretty messed up,” William looked up at his adoptive father uneasily. “So... does that make you Satan?”

“I am not the bad guy!” Discord insisted, even looking a little hurt that even William seemed to be turning on him. “The whole thing was packed with damned souls anyway, not a single good apple in the bunch.”

“You included, apparently,” Celestia added. This, if anything, hurt more than the explosive impact.

“So...” Yolk looked around as if she'd just come out of a daze. “So... where-where's my little brother?”

“No idea,” the Council member shrugged. “Not my jurisdiction, those souls could be anywhere by now.”

“Titans have mercy,” the princess breathed quietly.

“What do you mean, not your jurisdiction?” Yolk shouted. “What about my brother?!”

“Discord sixty-nine dash eight comma ampersand purple question mark,” Council Discord ignored her and unraveled a scroll from midair with his free talons. “As voucher for one William Z. Klaskovsky, you have hereby been charged with genocide on a multidimensional scale. How do you plead?”

There was silence once more, though whether from tension or magically enforced was a mystery.

“... Guilty.”

“Then as seat number Four on the Council of Discords, I hereby decree you eternally banned from the Halls of Eternity,” number Four rolled up the scroll with a snap of his talons. “Your immortality shall be henceforth stripped, your connection to Chaos snipped, and your name now and for all time stricken from the records of Discords.”

Discord felt himself thrust to his mismatched knees by a pair of the other silent draconequuses, an impossibly heavy invisible weight dragging him down.

“From this moment on, you shall cease to exist before the eyes of the Council,” number Four's voice was a booming thunderclap, consuming all else. “Your pleas shall not be heard, your cries shall go unanswered, and Chaos will not aid you in your chosen world. By the power invested in me by me and some other guys, I now pronounce you draconequus and draconequus, you may kiss the bride.”

Discord blinked as the weight was lifted, the other silent images of himself already strolling off into thin air as number Four calmly rolled up the scroll.

“... Hang on, what?”

“Sorry,” number Four pointed at his pointy ears with a sharp grin. “Can't hear you now. You've been banished. Sorry, brah.”

“I'm not being tortured for all eternity?”

“Still can't hear you,” Four said to the air, stepping easily past the still very stunned Yolk. “But if I could, I'd probably say something like 'be glad you rolled me instead of Five or Eight' or 'your sentence may or may not have been reduced due to the fact that a single easily replicated human child might save several billion worlds a bit of grief'. You know, stuff like that,” Four nodded politely to Celestia before tucking the scroll beneath one armpit. “Now if we're all done here, I'm off to get some donuts. Ciao!”

And with a snap of his fingers, he was gone.

Yolk still stood smack dab in the center of the library, mouth gaping a bit like a fish, opening and closing repeatedly but no words coming out. Celestia finally lowered her wing from in front of Eris, but she too seemed too stunned to speak. Twilight graciously offered Discord a conjured blanket, which helped put out one last smoking ember on his shoulder, who woozily put one clawed hand to his feverish forehead, and Lyra silently inspected the encompassing destruction with Spike.

William, however, remained with shaking hoof by his body, and for something so familiar it had never looked quite so peculiar.

0-0-0-0-0

Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

New World, Day Three

He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake. He's awake.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

Feedback is greatly appreciated readers, I wrote most of this while sleep deprived, so please let me know if there are any errors I missed. Mostly error proofread by Cola Bubble Gum and Dash the Stampede.

Daddy Issues

0-0-0-0-0

Feed me.

“Any update?” Lyra asked curiously as a weary Twilight descended the library stairs, William close behind.

“Safely under another sleeping spell,” she replied curtly, doing her best to pretend that the princess herself wasn't still in her kitchen giving Discord the tongue lashing of a lifetime. “For now, anyway; at least until he's up again in a bit, I've been blanketing the spells in progressively thinner layers,” Twilight explained.

“My turn to keep an eye on 'it' again?” Eris yawned from her spot on the sofa, stretching lazily as she tilted her head just enough to keep them all in view with one open eye.

“I'm very curious,” Lyra said eagerly, almost prancing from hoof to hoof, though Twilight seemed not to notice. “Anything interesting? Did he say anything Princess Celestia thought he would? It is a he, right? Does-”

Not yet. Too early.

“No, no, and yes,” William swiftly interrupted. “In order. And mostly it's just...”

“... Just what?” Eris blearily cracked another eye open.

“Well... screaming, mostly,” Twilight admitted. “Just screaming, really. I'm not really sure what's wrong with him.”

“Aside from the obvious,” Eris sat up and rolled her shoulders, never dropping her deadpan stare. “You try being tortured a little bit, see how you like it. God, I can't even stand breaking a nail...”

She trailed off when Twilight failed to conceal her cringing, the uncomfortably loud sound of Celestia's beratement stabbing at her ears.

“... Does this mean we still have to go to school?” Eris quipped as she trudged up the stairs. She grumbled under her breath when they all ignored her, stomping a little harder as she ascended.

“Bonnie's not going to believe this...” Lyra dropped onto the seat Eris had previously occupied, running a hoof straight through her mane. “Stars and stones, today has been crazy,” she grinned down at William, “Are things always this interesting? Have I just been missing out?”

The colt, however, seemed not to notice, still staring blankly ahead.

“... William?”

“What?” he snapped his head toward her jerkily, eyes wide. “Sorry. Thinking. What did you say?”

Twilight snorted.

“Spike does the same thing sometimes,” she nodded to Lyra. “Especially when he really doesn't want to pay attention, just zones out for a little. He's... uh... where is Spike?”

Lyra only raised an eyebrow before subtly nodding toward the kitchen, where all of the unpleasant 'conversation' happened to be coming from.

Twilight did not find this comforting.

Spike, on the other hand, was having the time of his life.

He kicked his legs cheerfully from the countertop, sitting silently with a mug in his claws as he watched the 'debate' between the princess and previous god of chaos. The unsurprisingly still stunned Yolk White only managed to sit oddly beside him, legs dangling off the counter as she stared a hole in the floor. Yolk didn't move. She didn't speak. Spike doubted that she was even breathing. A small part of him wished that he'd brought popcorn.

“No, I don't,” Celestia hissed venomously from across the table. “You burned that bridge, Discord, I am ashamed that I trusted you! I needed you, and you lied to me!”

“And I said that I'm sorry!”

“Sorry doesn't cut it, Discord!”

“Well, what else do you want me to do?”

“What do you think?!”

Celestia huffed and seethed through tightly clenched teeth, her wings clamped tightly to her side. Discord even seemed to inch back a little bit at her barely contained rage.

“Hello, Twilight, old pal!” Discord blurted in a faux cheerful manner as he watched the librarian desperately struggle to silently haul the unwilling drake from the kitchen. “Say, I was just thinking-”

“Discord please stop trying to drag my student into this and use her as a distraction from the trouble you're in,” Celesta stated emotionlessly, clearly unamused, all in one breath. Twilight, though, seemed to be more unnerved than anything; Princess Celestia was not one to speak so brashly, and even when in dire circumstances she had never seen the ruler quite so irate, and watching it all melt away so quickly into such a blank expression merely from her entry to the room was disturbing on a personal level.

“Is-is there anything I can do, Princess?” Twilight offered weakly, but Celestia only shook her head.

“Not immediately, Twilight, there are some matters that-”

“She's going to seal me in stone,” Discord butted in. Twilight's sharp intake of breath was clearly heard as she tried to shepard Spike out.

“I'm not going to petrify you,” Celestia insisted, frowning. “Not yet, anyway.”

“Not like he doesn't deserve it...” Yolk muttered from the side. However, that seemed enough to draw the princess's attention, which greatly relieved Discord.

“And you,” she said calmly to the suddenly sweating mare. “You should not have done that.”

“I-I, well, you see...” Yolk's position on the counter top seemed horridly crude before royalty, and she flushed. “I-I-I, uh, I was... authorized, b-by the Orga-”

“You expressly summoned a Council Member,” Celestia stated calmly. “A being not of this world, to be called only as a last resort should the Organization fail in every aspect, all for a matter of personal dispute,” she became a little quieter with each word, drawing closer and closer, seeming to Yolk so large that she was taking up the entire room all at once. “As a servant of such Organization, you took a sacred oath, and you abused your privileges in order to torture information out of one of my subjects.”

By this point Twilight only watched in confusion in the doorway, unsure of whether or not she should leave. Oddly, Discord refused to look at anyone, his features empty. Yolk, on the other hand, looked close to positively fainting.

“I-I-I, well, you-you see, the, er-uh-um, I-I-” the mare struggled violently, unable to do much more than sputter and fidget, the color long since drained from her face. “The-th-the regulations-”

“I know exactly what the rules say,” Celestia spoke in little more than a whisper, her eyes narrowed to dangerous violet slants. “I wrote them.”

“I-I... I...” Yolk shuddered forcefully, her head in her hooves as she cried. “... I'm sorry. Y-your majesty, I-I'm so sorry.”

Celestia took a pause for a moment, withdrawing.

“... I know.”

Yolk said nothing.

“You'll receive your notice of termination in the post,” the princess breathed heavily, standing up a little straighter and turning away and smiling. “There's been quite enough unhappiness for one day, I think we can sort this all out later.”

Twilight blinked, her head feeling a little fuzzy after witnessing the incident; it was as if a shadow had been lifted. She could have sworn that an actual, physical weight had been sitting on her back, and the sudden lack of it felt incredibly surreal. She caught a glimpse of Lyra and William talking quietly by themselves, as if they hadn't heard a thing.

“Er... P-Princess Celestia?”

“Yes?” the alabaster alicorn turned serenely to her student, seemingly ignoring the sullen draconequus glaring at her.

“I'm... still quite confused, if, er... I mean, all this talk of organizations and councils and-and... torture? I-I mean...”

The peacefulness that had momentarily settled on Celestia's face sort of... drooped. The expression itself seemed to fall a little, and for a brief second, just a very, very tiny little moment, Twilight glimpsed clearly at Celestia's age. It looked for all the world that time itself was tugging at her face, the sad, unmistakably weary look of age resting heavily on her. And just like that, it was gone – a trick of the light, and the room certainly was looking a bit brighter than before.

“I do hope you'll forgive me, my student,” Celestia grinned playfully. “Royal business and all that, have to keep up appearances.”

“O-oh, yes!” she nodded swiftly. “Of course, Princess, I didn't mean to intrude-”

“But for now,” the princess tilted her head to Discord. “You are needed elsewhere.”

“I wish it could have been under better circumstances,” Discord replied with no discernible expression.

“As do I.”

“Do we have to?”

Not for the first time today, Twilight was left very much befuddled.

“It has to be done,” Celestia answered quietly.

“We could just not,” he shrugged, an empty mirror before Celestia.

“That wouldn't be freedom or solace, and you know it.”

“Maybe it would. You wouldn't know.”

The bizarre exchange did not go unnoticed, but Twilight was unable to glean much more due to her attempts to nudge off the ever curious Spike. By the time she tried to catch the rest of it all seemed to have returned to normal, and she bit her tongue.

“... We'd best be off!” Celestia said chipperly, the draconequus close in tow. William was quick on the draw to follow, worried. “I'll ensure that Discord behaves himself, there's urgent business in Canterlot.”

“Wait, who's going where?” William interjected, pushing rudely past Twilight. “Why? What's going on?”

“Time to pay the piper,” Discord knelt down before him. “I've gotta go take care of something real quick, but-”

“You can't leave!” William tried to grab hold of him, an intense panic beginning to form in his chest when he couldn't seem to clench his fingers around him properly. “What about the Council? What about Neil? What about you? What about us?! What's going on? Why-”

Discord snapped his talons in front of the colt, making him jump a little.

“We'll talk later,” he said tiredly. “I promise. We'll take care of everything, all of it. We'll all sit down and talk later.”

“... You promise?” William frowned. He felt a warm touch on his shoulder, but couldn't identify who it belonged to.

“... Yeah. I promise.”

“How do I know you'll keep it?”

Discord visibly cringed, looking away. William ashamedly did the same.

“You two...” Discord said just so that he could hear. “You and Eris, you two are my everything. Always changing, my two little constants. I promise, I swear, I'll come back. Alright?”

“... Pinkie promise?”

“Pinkie promise,” he gave a half-chuckle, sticking out his clawed pinkie and touching the tip of William's hoof.

“Okay,” William let out a low breath. “But-but you'll be back soon, right?”

“I'll be back before you know it,” the draconequus grinned widely. “Faster than two shakes of a lamb's tail.”

“What?” he blinked. “Lamb? I don't understand, what lamb?”

Discord snorted again, not bothering to hide his smile as he ruffled William's hair once before following Celestia out the door.

“I don't get it,” he turned an upset glance at whoever was behind him. Lyra's hoof remained tightly on his shoulder the entire time, a firm grip and a steely frown on her lips. “I don't know what he meant, shake a lamb's tail? I've never spoken to any lambs, is it some sort of riddle?”

“William,” Lyra shook her head with a little smirk as Twilight wordlessly watched the royal carriage depart out the window. “I thought you were supposed to be the smart one, what happened to that?”

“Are you insinuating that I'm uneducated?” he scoffed, offended.

Dreams of fire.

“Right,” Spike clapped his talons together directly behind Twilight, startling her. “Somepony, please explain to me what just happened, and more importantly, please don't tell me I'm gonna have to clean that up,” he jabbed a thumb at the enormous scorch mark in the center of the library.

Twilight hissed as if in pain, the destruction finally setting in.

“... You're not doing anything today, right?” she chuckled weakly at Lyra.

“Hey!”

William jolted out of his reverie, Eris's shout from upstairs echoing a little. He guiltily cringed; for a little while, he'd forgotten that she was even there.

Feed me. Release me.

“Anybody wanna tell me,” she bellowed down the stairwell, “what the hell I'm supposed to do now that he's awake?”

0-0-0-0-0

“Does this mean that we still have to go to school?” Eris called back down the stairs. However, once again nobody answered her, and she grumbled viciously to herself as she trudged upward.

The stairwell itself was elaborately littered with all numbers of pictures and photographs, all perfectly spaced from one another in neat little frames.

Eris mischievously tilted a few here and there, even turning one completely upside down before hanging it back up. She put a thumb on her chin, seriously examining her alterations before giving a satisfied nod, continuing upward.

The room where the boy was kept had no locked door, which Eris had been the first to complain about whenever it was her turn to keep watch; then again, nobody else had any problems when William's body awoke (aside from the shrieking). Hopefully Twilight would be a little bit faster in putting him back under a sleeping spell this time, he made an awful racket.

Eris grunted loudly as she collapsed into the wooden chair beside the bed, arms crossed over her chest as she stared down at the familiar face.

“... I've seen a whole lot, dude, but this is probably the freakiest in a week.”

Of course, 'William' didn't answer.

Covers pulled up to his neck, messy brown hair astray and falling over his pale face, he looked just the same as he always did – albeit his hair had grown a little longer than usual, unruly as a wild animal. The familiar lines of concentration and furrowed brows that Eris had grown so used to seeing on his face were absent, giving him a peculiar, peaceful expression that she didn't often see on him. He was so regularly frowning deep in thought, or just plain irritated, seeing him in such a state was odd to say the least.

“Except you're not him, huh,” she said quietly, chin in hand as she stared down at the motionless body. “For all I know your brain's completely fried by now. Just a hollowed out shell,” Eris chortled. “Nothin' but a meat sack, you're just-”

She fell short, frowning.

“God, this is why we need TV,” Eris groaned into her mismatched hands. “I'll even watch soap operas at this point, it's so freaking boring. There's never anything to do, and when I can do anything it's either just as boring or I'm not supposed to do it – I mean, how is it my fault that some pranks just so happen to be 'illegal and morally bankrupt'? I mean, jeez,” she rambled, screwing a knuckle into the side of her head. “These people here are all completely insane, we've gotta go on vay-cay or something, somewhere nice and warm, with a beach maybe, get away from all these nutters for a while. I think I'd look good in a swimsuit, what'cha think, Will-?”

Eris stopped midsentence, mouth turning sharply to the side and curving gradually downward.

“... I'm gonna go nuts,” she pinched the bridge of her nose eventually, looking away from the sleeping boy. “God, you look just like him, and you can't even hear me. I might as well be talking to a wall.”

Unsurprisingly, the boy said nothing.

“... You know, heh... you're actually kinda cute when you're asleep.”

Eris jerked in surprise when the faux William's eyes shot open violently, bloodshot and rolling in terror.

“Haa, o-okay,” she forced herself to sit back down, bracing her ears for the unavoidable. “Go ahead and get it out of your system little guy, so Twibright Sparkle-ass can put you back to sleep.”

'William's mouth hung agape in a silent scream, clenching whatever he could so tightly that he was shaking the entire bed. However, whatever she said seemed to have finally managed to catch, and his silent scream remained just that.

“... No banshee imitations this time,” she clapped once. “Impressive. Next time let's see if you can do Groucho Marx.”

“... Eris?”

“Okay!” she found herself lurching back in alarm, stumbling to stand. “You aren't supposed to be doing that, stay right there-”

“Don't tell them!”

Eris paused at the door handle, eyes locked firmly on the boy with William's face. He spoke with fear in his pleading voice, but more than that – it was panic, plain and simple.

“... Please,” he wrung his hands weakly, unable to even sit up properly. “I-I'm begging you, just-just hear me out, don't send me back...!”

“You... said my name,” Eris said suspiciously, staring down the shell shocked survivor. “How'd you know it?”

“Eris,” he said again fearfully. “Eris, please! It's me – it's me!”

“Me, who?”

The boy opened his mouth, but no words came out. He eventually closed it again, acquainted furrowed brows pillowing together in thought.

“... I'm not sure.”

“I see.”

The boy-that-wasn't-quite-William frowned in confusion, staring down at his own hands. He traced a single finger over his palm, running it up his arm and staring at the faint mark the nail left. He started to speak again, only for a dim recognition to fall over his features, followed by a miserable, sullen stare.

“... Touch me.”

“Uh...” Eris still hinged on the handle, unsure of what to do. Twilight's plan hadn't entailed him acting so strangely, and the urge to let someone else deal with the oddity was powerful.

“Touch me,” he said again, turning a pained, haunted look to the draconequus. “Eris. I need you to touch me.”

“How about I just-” she started, the click of the doorknob sounding like a gunshot for as quiet as it had grown.

“Please,” he insisted, holding out a single hand. “Just do this one thing for me.”

“Why?” Eris scowled, not moving an inch.

The boy's hurt look grew, and he stretched as far as his arm would allow.

“Please. I need to know it's real this time.”

She didn't move, but neither did she open the door.

“Eris. Please; it's me, I-I just... I need you, just this one time. Just... just touch me. Please.”

Eris shifted uneasily, staring the boy down. His hand remained outstretched, palm up, his pleading, wide eyed puppy dog look a little more effectual than she had expected. She let out a long, awkward breath through her nostrils, at long last approaching him. Her heart was pounding unnaturally loudly in her ears, drumming and thrumming irregularly. An eerie sense of dread began to itch at the base of Eris's spine, tingling like a long legged spider all the way up to her neck. Eris kept a bit of distance at first, a single finger outstretched in his direction, walking ever so slowly closer to the pale boy.

“... What are you so afraid of?” he asked in a soft tone, but his face portrayed anguish. “It's me, please, Eris, just... just reach out, just... touch me...”

“Why do you need to?” she stopped again, and the pain on his face deepened to one of anguish so intense she thought he might start crying.

“I-I need to,” he choked. “Please, just-just, please, I need to know it's real – just for a little, Eris, please, just... just a bit, just touch me.”

She extended her arm at long last, the palm of one paw ever so gently brushing the bottom of his outstretched hand. He shivered at her touch, trembling with equally bated breath, goosebumps standing up like he'd been doused in ice. He almost didn't breathe at all, frozen stiff with either fear or trepidation.

The familiar boy stared at her hand for a few seconds, slowly, carefully putting his hand completely inside hers, gradually allowing his other to gently fold atop it. His breath grew heavy and ragged, and his eyes were so wide with disbelief that she thought they might fall out.

“... That's-that's good,” he breathed at long last, excitement beginning to grow in his tone. “That's good. More.”

“Huh?”

“More,” he slowly pulled her hand to his cheek before releasing her. “Just a little more. Okay?”

Eris uncomfortably brushed against his high cheekbones, watching as he began quivering at her touch, a wild, almost feral grin pulling at his lips. For a moment he met her eyes, staring deeply into them before pulling her a little closer, so that she was almost leaning over him.

“I remember you.”

“That's good... I guess,” Eris started, a heat beginning to blossom.

“Don't leave, Eris. You're here. You're real.”

“Yeah...” she nodded once. “I'm real.”

“You're real, you are so very, very real, I remember, I can touch you, I can feel you, that's good, I missed you so much Eris...”

“... Will?” Eris said quietly, tilting his head a little in her paw. “Are-are you... really in there...?”

“More, that's very good,” he panted. “There's a good girl, touch me more...!”

“Okay no this getting weird,” Eris pulled back sharply, her cheeks feverish. “I'm getting the others.”

“I don't care,” the boy giggled freely, falling back onto the pillows. “I don't even care. I'm out. It's over. I'm free. I'm free.”

0-0-0-0-0

“Hey!” Eris yanked open the door, careful to keep one eye on the madly tittering boy. “Anybody wanna tell me,” she bellowed down the stairwell, “what the hell I'm supposed to do now that he's awake?”

“Sleeping charm!” she heard Twilight shout back.

“I can't do those!” Eris was swift to respond. “And 'sides, he's not screaming this time, he's actually talking!”

“... Wanna go check it out?” Lyra nodded toward Twilight, who was clambering up the stairs as quickly as she could.

“Why wouldn't I?” William blinked, close in tow.

William had difficulty slipping past the librarian, who actually stopped dead ahead of him and blocking off the stairwell so that she could rearrange a number of askew picture frames. He wasted no time in surprisingly nimbly slipping past, a little pleased at himself for having not tripped that time at all and making for the room where his body was stored.

The door was already wide open when he stopped in front of it, and for a split second his almond eyes met a perfect mirror of his own, but not only that; from the way the boy's head had been turning just as he approached, unblinkingly, hands clasped neatly in his lap, something seemed amiss. The boy gave a small sniffle, but a small whisper in the back of William's mind madly entertained the idea that he had smelled him coming, and was watching him through the wall the entire time.

He shuddered, without really knowing why.

“... Finally stopped doing the banshee impression, then?” William coughed into one hoof, masking his discomfort and silently noting just how unsettled Eris seemed to be, arms crossed tightly with her tail to her chest. “I was hoping for Grou-”

“Already made that joke,” Eris gave a weak chuckle, giving Twilight an odd look as she entered. Lyra remained on the doorway momentarily before following, curiously eyeing the bizarre child.

“Hello,” the boy said in an unexpectedly calm tone. “Good to see everyone together, it's so nice. Is it my birthday?”

Twilight smiled a little, but William only stared. There was no humor in his double's tone, but it was clear he wasn't serious. On top of that, the smile attached to his face seemed just that – plastic, false, cold and empty. And when he looked at him, his familiar reflection had something just a little out of the ordinary that he couldn't quite put his finger on, something just... off.

There was something wrong with the eyes.

A strange burst of anger clawed at his chest the longer he looked at the boy's eyes, furious and hateful with all the rage of a frenzied dragon; and just like that it was gone as soon as he turned away, leaving him feeling oddly hollow.

He can steal your soul with his eyes.

“No, it's not your birthday...” Twilight shifted, her smile fading the longer that the boy stared at her. However, her inspection remained unscrupulous and rapid, and she magically drew the chair to herself to sit beside him. “How are you feeling, hmm?”

“Terrible,” he answered promptly. “I can feel rusty nails behind my eyeballs!”

She flinched at his description.

“Is it an acute pain?” Twilight inquired. “I was informed you might still be feeling some discomfort-”

“Don't get too close,” Eris said loudly, causing her to pause.

“I'll have to agree,” William nodded, simultaneously completely disregarding Eris's warning and investigating his body from the opposite side of the bed. “It would be wise to keep in mind precisely who this is, mind you.”

Release me.

The boy-that-wasn't-quite-William turned to look at him, same fake smile stuck to his lips.

“I don't recognize you. Tell me who you are.”

He spoke with an authority, a practiced, commanding tone, and William thought pensively before turning to the librarian.

“Miss Twilight,” William nodded patiently. “If you don't mind.”

“Of course.”

“Do you remember your last name?” William leaned in interestedly, tilting his head up a bit and examining the boy more closely. “How about your first name, hmm? What's the last thing you remember? Do you know how you got here? What's your name?”

“I'll show you mine if you show me yours,” the boy smiled up at him with a blankness about him.

“Yes, and how about your name?” William pushed. “What do you remember? Why are you playing like this?”

“The play's the thing,” he winked.

“No, but now you're just quoting Shakespeare!” William bounced, beginning to pace eagerly in a tight line beside the bed. “You're reacting, not responding; come on, tell me, what's in there?”

“Do you at least remember your name?” Twilight pried, noting William's sudden over-zealousness.

“... I don't know,” the boy answered tonelessly. “He made me hollow.”

“F-Discord?” William halted.

“Scooped out what was left,” he continued quietly, staring at a blank patch of wall ahead of him and just to the side of Eris. The draconequus found herself slowly edging out of his view regardless. “Ripped out the insides and put something else in. Now I'm here.”

“... Funny little thing,” William mused aloud, hoof on his chin as he leaned closer, eyes narrowed. “How do you get around in that thing?”

William watched his body change position jerkily, almost like a marionette, and for a short second William thought that the boy was going to attack him; his double settled down though, eyes darting nervously about.

“My memory's all fuzzy,” the boy insisted. “So there's no need to do anything rash. You don't have to hurt me.”

“He remembered me alright,” Eris grumbled, but again nobody seemed to hear.

“What?” Twilight blinked. “Nopony's going to hurt you – you're safe here.”

“Promise?”

Twilight looked to Eris for help, but she was only watching someone she used to know as William with a concentrated stare.

“I promise,” she nodded at last. “Nopony is going to hurt you. You're safe here.”

“Good,” he replied a little too quickly. “Good. That's... that's good.”

“Just how much of my memory do you actually have, though?” William frowned.

“Your-?” the boy started, his mouth soon forming a sudden 'o' with understanding. “Wow. That is something else.”

“So obviously your memory's not too fuzzy,” William met his eyes again, a determined fire in his belly that wouldn't be quelled. “Discord told us everything, Neil.”

Neil's empty smile faded briefly, his almond eyes locking onto him.

“You trust him?” he said in a voice barely above a whisper, although he was easily heard.

“I do,” William agreed.

“You wouldn't if you knew what he's done. What he did to me.”

Twilight's look of concern grew as the situation became more and more uncomfortable, neither of the two before her moving an inch.

“So...” Lyra spoke after an eternity. “This is the Neil guy, right, Will?”

“Am I?” Neil asked her, an unexpected pain showing on his face. “Am... am I really Neil? Or am I William?”

“I... Er-hem,” William reasserted himself, his confidence having momentarily vanished. “I have some questions for you that I've been waiting a very long time to-to ask, and-”

“Who am I?”

I am your salvation.

“Who am I?” he asked again, turning to Eris, then Lyra, then Twilight. “I-I have... all of these memories, it feels like there's just-just too much, and-and I can't...”

Without warning, streams of tears began rolling down the boys face, his head dropping to hide as his shoulders feverishly shook.

“We-we're going to get all this sorted out,” Twilight reassured the boy, hoof on his shoulder gently. “Whatever Discord did, you can rest easy knowing that Princess Celestia is taking care of it, we can fix your head-”

“I'm going to be wiped, aren't I?” he jerked again suddenly, as if it had only just now occurred to him just how badly he wanted to avoid it.

“That's... probably the long short of it,” William affirmed at last. He saw Eris slumping down the corner of his eye against the wall, letting out a long breath. “Hopefully not too quickly, I still-”

“So what'll happen to me?” Neil pulled at his hair, breath coming in short gasps. “What'll happen to me?”

“It's not too much to worry about,” Twilight internally cringed at just how uneasy everyone was. “It-it's a pretty simple procedure, soon you won't have to worry-”

“It's a lobotomy!” Neil's tears dried up mysteriously quickly. “It's not fair, it's murder! Why won't anyone just help me?!”

The boy looked around the room at each and every one of them in turn, not a single one of which managed to meet his gaze this time.

“I-I don't... want to die...” he petered off eventually, miserably staring down at his hands.

My hands.

“... It is technically my body...” William said at long last, pulling away.

“It looks a lot weirder than what you described,” Lyra added.

“Ergo,” he continued. “Performing any form of procedures, magical or otherwise, on said body without my personal given consent in absence of life-threatening injuries would therefore be adamantly against the Hipponycratic oath.”

“You-you mean Hippocratic,” Eris stuck up a finger to correct him.

“I do not,” he answered in a deadpan.

“So... so what's going to happen to me?” Neil sniffed unhappily.

“Proper hospitalization, firstly,” Twilight smiled, though there was little heart in it. “We'll get you decent help.”

“So just drop it- sorry, drop him off at a hospital?” Lyra's brows furrowed deeply.

“Well, no,” she answered thoughtfully. “Princess Celestia has specialists, she left specific instructions. Oh!”

A flash of violet lit atop Twilight's horn, summoning a small navy blue envelope. She gave it a couple of flicks before cheerfully passing it to a very confused William.

“... What's this for?” he frowned. “I don't care about mail right now, I need to ask-”

“That would be from the Princess,” Twilight informed him quickly.

“Hold on, what?” Eris interjected angrily. “She was just here, why didn't she do it herself?”

“Actually, this is from Luna...” William's look of irritation went through a myriad of other expressions as he read the letter, from befuddlement to aggravation to confusion and anger again, leaving him with a sour, sad grimace.

“... Well?” Eris rolled a hand through the air.

“You said a lot of unpleasant things to her guards, apparently,” William gave a small laugh. “And it's a dinner invitation, actually – the second half is anyway, the first is an apology.”

“Apology for what?” Lyra and Twilight said simultaneously.

“Send it back then,” Eris stuck up her nose. “Use it as toilet paper first, for her f-”

“Where's Spike, anyway?” Twilight coughed loudly, a tinge of red to her cheeks.

“Who where what now?” Lyra blinked, having been caught dead staring at the body that used to be William's.

“He's got a habit of eavesdropping and he's not doing it now,” Twilight started off. “That makes me nervous. Keep an eye on, er... him for me? Please?”

“I don't mind!” Lyra called after her, oblivious of the rude signs that Eris was making with her hands. “We don't mind. Right, guys?”

“I have so many questions,” William let out a breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He couldn't quite get a buzzing invisible bug out of his ear, only a side note, a distraction that seemed to further irritate the burning in his chest. The longer that he looked down at his body, his own body, the louder that the dragon in his belly bellowed, belching flame and clawing its way out – he could feel the heat, feel the trembling of the earth beneath his feet as it drew near, so powerful that he thought he might explode.

“Neil. It is Neil, isn't it?”

“... You can call me that if you want to,” he shrugged eventually, looking away at the spot that Twilight used to inhabit.

“Oh, good. So you are Neil.”

“Yeah.”

William's ears were flooded with a plethora of noises, all of which blended into rushing water as he pummeled the boy's face. He slammed his hoof into him again and again and again, hitting him with the hardest part of his hoof that he could, Neil's bloodcurdling screams of pain mingling with all the others. All that occupied his mind was the desire to cause as much suffering, as much pain to every single square inch of the brat's body that he could, he hardly even noticed the peculiar tunnel vision he seemed to have been developing that prevented him from seeing who exactly was dragging him off the bleeding child.

“-t the fuck, what the fuck, Will?!”

“Calm down, calm down!” Lyra had difficulty hauling him away, her voice ripe with panic. “Twilight! Miss Twilight, help – we need help!”

William had long since stopped struggling, his entire body shaking like a leaf in the wind as his knees buckled from shock. It felt as if he'd just stepped off of a ladder and the entire world had been missing while he was climbing, and the reappearance of gravity took away his balance.

“Will, what the hell, man?” Eris shouted, picking up the softly weeping and battered boy off the ground.

“I-I-I don't know,” he sputtered as Twilight tripped over herself to find out what was going on, Spike riding the back of a wary Yolk White right behind. “I-I don't know what came over me...!”

“No remorse,” Neil began giggling viciously through the sobs and hiccups, blood streaming freely down his face. “Monsters have no remorse... you're just like me. It's in the blood,” he resumed crying enthusiastically, clearly having noticed the outright shock on Twilight's face. “Oh god, so much blood...”

Oceans. Rivers and seas of it.

I am your salvation.

0-0-0-0-0

Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

New World, Day Three

He's awake.

I keep writing it and writing it but it still doesn't seem to sink in.

Today has been... strange, to say the least. Neil seems to be alive, thanks to Father Discord... at least, some form of him, he seems to be a little bit mad.

Speaking of which, I am permanently grounded for attempting to murder him.

I am in all honesty disturbed. I've never just... snapped like that on someone before. Considering that Neil seems to be stuck inside my human body, it made the situation a little bit surreal.

Also, Eris refuses to speak to me now, but I'll consider that a blessing.

Miss Lyra apparently has the gift of the silver tongue, because although she didn't quite lie to Miss Bon Bon she didn't exactly tell her the truth either. Then again, telling anyone about witnessing an interdimensional council of Discords stripping Father of his rank and power, a revenge seeking facade therapist whose brother I technically also am responsible for the death of, and what everyone else sees as an alien but is actually the father of what appears to be a colt trapped inside said colt's original body is a BIT of a story to tell.

According to Miss Lyra, we spent all day at the library.

Didn't do much to explain the blood though, so it's a good thing I'm 'clumsy'. I don't think Miss Bon Bon bought that part though.

Miss Twilight also seems to think that I've gone completely off the deep end. Granted, I did sort of try to bludgeon my own father to death, so maybe I have. I don't think so though. I'm normal. I'm sane.

Why does murder come so easily to me? I'm not
I'm normal
Monster
I can fix this
He hurt Mother. He had to be hurt back. It's not my fault
I'm not a monster
What kind of sick bastard can just commit genocide so freely? Of all the things that's not what's kept me up, it never
sick freak sick freak sick freak
I've prayed so many times for salvation in the past. Maybe I don't deserve it.
My father is not who he says he is.
I'm not a monster. I'm ahead of the curve.
He's not my father.
I can fix this, I can fix all of this, I just need more time. I can do it and then everything will be back to normal now that I have this, I'll save you Mother, I love you.
Everything is justified. I just lost control, I NEVER lose control, I don't know why, it's not the first time
I always feel like someone's watching me
I'm not my father. I'm not my father. I'm not my father. I'm not my father.

The wicked must be punished for their sins.
I don't care about right and wrong. I just want my family back.

Please forgive me for what I'm going to do.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

Today's chapter is brought to you by the letter 'S'.
'S' as in 'sleep', 'sleep' as in 'Aku is completely sleep deprived'.
Again.

Escape From Which Mountain?

0-0-0-0-0

William woke without warning.

The dream that had whisked through his eyes only moments ago was already long gone, not even the faintest trace of a memory in its place. He blinked sleeplessly, taking a deep breath through his nostrils and tugging his wrists to touch the cotton blankets to ensure that they were still there. For a wild instant he was fearful that he was alone, but Eris's soft, slow snore directly in front of him drew him out of reverie, and he resisted the sudden urge to kick her off of the mattress and tell her off for not sticking to her own bedding. Instead he quietly sighed as he glowered at her back, covering his eyes with his pink hooves and shutting out the misty early morning sunlight filtering in through the windows.

It had been a dream, assuredly. It felt like a memory, but it must have been a dream.

Remember me.

Just a dream.

Journal of William Zachariah Klaskovsky

New World, Day Four

I feel like there's something awful inside me.

Today is the day.

Not yet. It's not ready yet. I can't do it here, it has to be somewhere safer first. I can't risk getting caught and losing everything I've worked for. I just have to set the conditions and everything will play out exactly as planned. Just one more ingredient. This has to work.

If not, I am afraid that I may have to find another solution to remove this 'Iron Will' from the equation.

It's going to work. I've planned for everything.

Tomorrow, Mother is mine again.

William slipped silently out of bed, the cold floor creaking a little beneath his hooves.

It was far too early in the morning to be properly awake, but William was no closer to sleeping than he was an hour ago. Determined that it wouldn't hurt to be a little ahead of schedule, he promptly set about preparing. The saddlebag was packed with everything that he would need in under a minute, leaving him standing a little short of breath in the dark room.

William gave one look back to the slowly, peacefully rolling shoulders of the draconequus comfortably beneath the blankets before turning abruptly away, readjusting the straps on his bag before leaving.

Within moments, he was wordlessly back at the bedside to give her a silent peck on the forehead, and whisked away once more.

William forced himself to breathe normally, the tightness in his chest growing again.

Everything is going to be fine, he insisted to himself several times, and twice aloud.

“Y'alright?”

The sound of Lyra's voice as he walked past the kitchen nearly caused him to bolt out of his skin, and he skittered across the floor before regaining balance.

“Ah!” he cleared his throat, eyes wide as he stared at the bedheaded mare quietly sipping coffee at the table. “G-good morning! I-I didn't expect anyone else to... to be up, at this hour...”

“I'm usually up early,” Lyra nodded before patting the seat beside her warmly. “You realize your first day at school isn't until tomorrow, right?”

“What?” William blinked, his mind going horridly blank before it finally dawned on him that his saddlebag wasn't exactly inconspicuous. “Oh-oh! Yes, of course; school, silly me, I really should get a calender.”

“I'd tell you to take your coat off and relax,” Lyra joked as she magically poured another cup of coffee as he awkwardly forced himself to sit across from her. “But I think yours is attached.”

“You'd be surprised,” he muttered darkly, too quietly for her to hear.

They sat in calm silence for a little while, the only noise the chirruping of the birds outside the kitchen window. After a long, slow stretch of silence, Lyra finally spoke.

“I don't feel right,” she said quietly, pouring her third cup. She circled an invisible spot on the table with her hoof, staring down. “About not telling Bonnie about all that weird stuff yesterday.”

“I thought it would sound too crazy?” William had given his mug a couple of polite sips, but took firm hold of it in vain hopes that he could hide behind the porcelain to halt the conversation.

“No doubt,” Lyra sighed. “Plus, she's definitely going to wonder why you're permanently grounded.”

William almost said 'you could lie,' but instead it came out as “You don't have to ground me, then...”

Lyra gave him a single exasperated look that for some reason made him extremely uncomfortable.

“... Is that right.”

“I-I did apologize,” William cleared his throat uneasily, the sudden fear that Eris would round the corner before he could slip away suddenly striking him.

“Not exactly what you'd call compensation for attempted murder,” she quipped.

“You know who he is.” William frowned.

“I saw one colt beating up another one,” Lyra met his gaze evenly.

“What he is, then.”

They both looked into their mugs at that, neither capable of meeting the other's gaze.

“... Yeah,” Lyra said softly at last, looking forlornly out the window to her side as the morning sun graced the day. It left her head framed in an oddly warm silhouette of sunlight, but William was too far gone staring into the murky drink to bother noticing.

“Miss Lyra,” William coughed into one hoof awkwardly, forcing himself to look up at her only to realize that she had been watching him closely.

“Yes?”

“I... just wanted to thank you again,” he nodded once. “And, well... in-in case Moth-”

William's voice seemed to falter and fail as she looked across at him, calmly stirring another lump of sugar into her drink.

“... Yes?” Lyra dipped her head a little, waiting for him to continue. For some odd reason the things he wanted to say seemed to have gotten all jumbled up with what he didn't, and the tightness in his chest had moved to his throat.

“Nevermind!” he hopped up with a too wide smile, readjusting his saddlebag before making for the door. “Just being silly; I'm off to the park, please don't send Eris after me once she wakes up, she snores something ter-”

His words were cut off once again as he found himself being magically tugged by the straps away from the door, dragged in a ludicrous fashion back to the kitchen, where Lyra sat with an unamused expression.

“... Yes?” he asked innocently.

“Not happening,” she deadpanned. “You're grounded for life, remember?”

William swallowed hard, the ferocious rumbling in his stomach returning.

“... Indeed,” he replied sourly as she released him from her mystical grip.

“We can go to the park later,” his head perked up a bit. “Under extremely close supervision.”

“Don't worry about cabin fever,” Lyra grinned after a while of his sullen silence. “Everypony's still going out tomorrow night, remember?”

“Who 'member what?” Eris poked her sleepy head around the corner, oblivious to the desparing groan of William as his 'foolproof' plan collapsed around his pink ears.

“The... thing,” Lyra rolled her hooves slowly for emphasis. “... Tomorrow night? That we all got invited to?”

William froze for a second, peeling his forehead off the table long enough to stare at the unicorn.

“Ho-hold on, you mean the invitation from Princess Luna?” William frowned. “Even if we did decide to go, I thought-”

“What, thought I'd just send you two off to Canterlot?” Lyra scoffed once, kindly offering the blearily blinking Eris a mug of steaming brew, which her nostrils lingered over happily. “Without any supervision, just whisk you off without anypony to watch you?”

“Well-” William started.

“What kind of guardian would I be then?” she grinned. “I can't just send you off to some big old castle, nopony's that heartless.”

William didn't seem to have a reply. In fact, he didn't seem to be moving anymore at all.

“Don't get too comfy!” Lyra beamed, her unusually bubbly energy returning.

“Why?” Eris asked bluntly, almost afraid of the answer.

“Because we're all going to do something extra special today!” the mare brushed a lock of mane from her eyes. “Oh, you're going to love it, we'll have so much fun!”

“Okay, now, I'm worried,” Eris turned uneasily to William, who only shrugged. “What's she on about?”

“Pack your bags, buckos!” Lyra almost cheered. “Because today, we're going hiking!”

The resounding silence was almost deafening.

“... Guess you're already one step ahead of the game,” Lyra nodded to William's saddlebag with a sly wink.

“Hiking,” Eris repeated in dim disbelief, ignorant of the fact that the coffee she had been pouring was long since overflowing.

“I know, it's gonna be great!” Lyra wriggled in her seat with a giggle. “Come on, give me a 'hiking, yeah!”

There was a dull thud as William's forehead hit the table once again.

0-0-0-0-0

The tick, tick, tick of the worn wooden clock on the wall filled the room with a dreadfully loud noise. Yolk wished she could stuff her ears with cotton to keep it out, but likely wouldn't do any good; she could hear it even when she covered her ears, she could feel time slowly crawling past.

“... Y'alright?”

Yolk ignored the boy in the bed, her eyes remaining firmly on the surroundings through the library's window. She occasionally wished that the library's owner would simply show up finished early with the little drake behind her and leave this problem to her.

You're a big mare. Solve your own puzzles.

“Fine,” the unicorn lied, pushing her glasses further up and pretending they were misty from memory alone. “What else can you tell me?” Yolk pried, not bothering to look back at him.

“It's all I got.”

“Surely you must know something else,” she frowned hard, looking at him sternly through her spectacles, but Neil showed no emotion whatsoever.

“I hardly remember half the shit that happened to me. I can't keep track of all the other poor bastards, and you shouldn't expect me to.”

“You will watch your language, kindly,” Yolk White magically 'adjusted' the blankets atop him until they were painfully tight, strapping his body firmly to the bed. “A simple yes or no would have sufficed.”

“Bullshit,” Neil ignored the next tightening of the blankets, though it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe. “If that were true you would have stopped asking the first time I said I don't know.”

“You're sure that you didn't see my brother?” she drew close, her voice dropping to hardly a whisper. “I mean, maybe Discord-”

“I – don't – know,” Neil put heavy emphasis on every syllable, his brows furrowed deeply. “I don't know what happened to your stupid brother, and I don't care.”

Yolk met his cold almond eyes with her vibrant emerald ones, never blinking.

“... You realize, of course,” she stated slowly. “That the impending mind wipe you are required doesn't have to happen just yet. If you were to provide helpful information, that is.”

“... I wanna talk to Twilight again,” Neil shifted uncomfortably, unable to free himself from his downy prison.

“Did you not hear me?” Yolk tapped one hoof impatiently on the bedside. “In exchange for information.”

“What do you care?” he spat. “You could just double cross me at the last second after you get what you want and mind wipe me anyway.”

Yolk paused.

“I could,” she answered dangerously. “Or I could take a little... peek into your head, just to make sure you aren't lying about anything.”

“They'd know,” Neil said too swiftly. “You wouldn't, you'd be found out-”

“You asked what I care,” Yolk inspected the bottom of her hoof closely, staring down at the boy from the corner of her eye. “I just lost my career, my dignity, and two years of my life. All I care about now is finding my baby brother, and making sure he's safe.”

Neil tried to inch further back into the pillows to retreat from the downright bloodthirsty glare that the mare leveled at him.

“I will break rules, regulations, laws, and if I have to, you. I just broke reality itself, don't think you're any more important, or that I'll even hesitate. And I swear to you, there is nothing - nothing that is going to stand in my way of getting him back. Do you understand?”

Neil breathed heavily through his nostrils, meeting her icy stare with his own.

“... You know,” he said quietly after a bit. “In different circumstances, I might have found you really goddamn sexy.”

“Do you want to be wiped?” Yolk White snapped.

“Only if you're into that,” Neil shrugged halfheartedly.

Yolk ground her teeth in fury, one of her eyes beginning to twitch. She moved as if she were going to hit him, but pulled her hoof to the ground and withdrew to the window, her watchful gaze monitoring all under the sun as silence grew once again.

“You could have just broken into my head from the beginning.”

“... Sorry?” Yolk said over her shoulder, lost in thought.

“You could have just done that right away,” Neil mused aloud, struggling to free his arms from the blankets. “You didn't have to bother negotiating. You could have just taken whatever information you wanted and left, and nobody'd be any the wiser.”

Yolk said nothing.

“What, so you've got some complex or something?” he asked, though she still didn't turn around. “You have to threaten and interrogate me because it makes you feel big?”

Still Yolk said nothing.

“Hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you!”

The blankets suddenly became much too tight, and Neil felt the breath suddenly pushed out of his chest like air from a balloon.

“You have twenty-four hours,” Yolk readjusted her glasses emotionlessly, turning on the spot and marching out the door. She paused at the door, not turning back again. “I would suggest that you... remember something within that time frame. That is all. Good day.”

And with that, Neil was left alone once again.

He lay fuming in the bed, glowering up at the ceiling as his thought mulled together.

He hated feeling trapped. That was the general consensus amongst the noise in his head, and what a cacophony. There was simply no way to ignore it, it filled his eyes and ears every time he closed his eyes. Neil let out a long, slow breath through his nose, hateful thoughts drifting away surprisingly quickly. He rubbed his eyes miserably until spots appeared, but it did nothing to sate the noise. He just had to think. However, he refused to simply roll over and give into the situation. He was cleverer than that.

I'm cleverer than all of them put together is what I am. Two heads are better than one.

They would regret doing this to him. They would regret trying to take away what little he had. They would regret leaving him alo-

He then felt remarkably, incredibly, extremely stupid, because it then occurred to him that, yes, it wasn't the first time he was left alone.

And the simple fact that they'd left him alone at all.

Neil inwardly kicked himself and immediately began fiercely wriggling out with all his might, the grin on his lips possibly the first genuine one he'd had in years as a magnificent plan began to form.

0-0-0-0-0

The Finally Off Hiatus Chapter

0-0-0-0-0

William was many things.

Pink.

Short.

Trapped in the wrong body.

A hiker was not one of the things William happened to be.

“You hangin' in there, pipsqueak?” Eris's amused tone caught his ear as he struggled to keep up, the gear laden saddlebag reminding him every step that it was still there. The heavy beating sun still managed to forge its way through the treetops, and even the cooler areas of the hills seemed much too muggy. There was still a light fog over some of the higher hills, and the sunlight pouring down over them almost seemed to make the hills themselves shine. There must have been a natural water source nearby, which William firmly repeated to himself under his breath.

He needed one to be.

“Don't – worry – about me,” he huffed furiously, cheeks glowing from the exertion. He strained his neck up to see Eris calmly sitting cross legged atop a tree stump beside the dirt path, pretending to investigate her talons as he dragged himself uphill. “This – is – nothing!”

“You sure you don't want a hand?” she slowly cocked an eyebrow at him as he passed at a snail's pace. “I mean, unless you really just wannna keel over-”

“I said – I've got it – Eris,” he insisted feebly through winded breaths, eyes firmly on the unicorn ahead. Lyra still patiently waited for them in a shady patch beneath one of the humongous oaks, her own pack sitting open beside her with a canteen in one hoof.

Eris watched in bemusement for a little while longer, eventually shrugging.

“Suit yourself.”

“Just going to let me have all of the fun?” Lyra called back eagerly, her laughter ringing out through the woods. “Move it or lose it, slowpokes, or you'll never beat me to the top!”

“My only consolation,” Eris frowned as she took a couple of leisurely steps and easily regained her lead on the colt, “is that at least somebody is hating this more than me.”

“What's – the matter?” William replied mockingly through heavy breaths, white mane matted with sweat and looking about ready to fall over from his own weight. “Can't – take – the heat?”

Eris only snorted, shook her head, and pulled out her own small canteen gifted to her by Lyra.

“Actually...” William paused for a moment, looking intently around his surroundings for a few seconds before his eyes landed on a large patch of shrubbery a little off to their right. “Why don't you and miss Lyra go on ahead without me?”

“For what?” Eris meant to say, which didn't come out quite the way she intended to considering she was drinking water. William wiped off the water with a grimace.

“I'll-I'll be, er, occupied,” he jabbed a hoof at the large bushes and took off before she could argue. “I'll catch up shortly, won't even be an inconvenience!”

William had to resist the urge to dive into the bushes, making sure to get plenty of distance between himself and the others. He tentatively checked his saddlebag again, looking cautiously over his shoulder and hunkering down a little more to ensure that no one could see him before wearily but calmly removing several things from his pack at once.

The wrinkled sheet of old parchment that he'd lifted from the library stated clearly what he needed, but the ingredients were so simple that he could easily recite them from memory. Simple, however, did not necessarily mean easy to acquire.

One cloth wrapped glass bottle contained a curiosity, the little tuft of roiling white cloud turning a little when revealed. William let out a quiet sigh of relief, thankful that the bottle hadn't been broken. The large green feather beside it had been easy enough to acquire as well, at approximately the same time he'd (tried to) inconspicuously ask a passing pegasus to bring him a bit of cloud. The stallion hadn't even asked why he wanted it.

“Only one more to go, Mother...” he muttered, pouring over the sheet of parchment. A single droplet of sweat fell off of his equine nose, and he frowned.

One tuft of cloud and a bright rainbow's glow, stir with a pegasus feather. Why did love potion ingredients have to be such a pain to track down? He gauged how long he'd been checking his items, carefully packed everything back inside, making sure to leave the extra empty bottle atop the others for easy access later. William once again cursed his luck under his breath. This would have been a lot simpler if Discord had just given him a unicorn's body from the start. Or, perhaps a simpler solution, just given him his body back.

Not that he'd likely even care, they hardly saw each other anyway.

William paused exiting the bushes, frowning.

Hm. That was unexpectedly mean spirited. Wonder where that came from-

“Done yet short stack?”

William let out a yelp that was a couple of octaves higher than he would have preferred, nearly falling over in shock.

“Eris, don't do that!” he quickly pretended the squeak had only been part of a forced coughing fit, fighting to regain his balance. “You'll give me a heart attack!”

“You were gone for a while,” she replied bluntly, arms crossed. “I was making sure you weren't, y'know, eaten by a grue or something.”

“A what?” William balked, pushing matted mane out of his eyes in irritation. He unconsciously pressed his saddlebag a little closer with one hoof. “Where did miss Lyra go? Is she far ahead?”

“A bit,” she nodded ahead to the curving path, partially hidden by oak, and William was swift to follow. “Next time though, I'm leaving your ass behind.”

“I doubt it, you're far too sentimentally attached.”

“Squirt, I swear to god I will drop kick you off a cliff and nobody will be any the wiser.”

“... Just keep walking, Eris.”

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

So, I'm finally back to writing this story.
Sorry it's taken so long for updates everybody, things have been crazy lately. The upcoming chapters should be significantly longer and more satisfying!

Penultimate Ride

0-0-0-0-0

“... Again.”

Discord shrieked, a high, unnatural sound that made the hairs on the back of Celestia's neck prickle uneasily. He lay panting on the ground for several moments after, heaving shakily as a few minuscule plumes of smoke trailed off his back like winding spiders into the air.

“... Again.”

The resounding tortured scream as Discord was launched backward from the dully glowing crystal orb with a luminescent blue light bounced around the chamber almost as much as he did, spinning like a top, a painfully loud thwack! making her cringe when he hit the wall.

“Again,” Discord coughed out a small puff of soot, hacking and shaking as he struggled to force himself to stand.

“I think that's quite enough for now,” Celestia shook her head uneasily.

“No, no,” Luna motioned her away with a single wingtip. “If Discord wants to continue his 'ultimate super infallible plan', I advise that we assist him in his idio- err, endeavors.”

Discord let out a quiet coughing fit that sounded suspiciously like 'sadistic bitch'.

“I said that's enough, Lu,” her eyes narrowed sharply, magically dusting off the cinders Discord had spread in his wild dance through the air.

“No,” the slightly crispy draconequus insisted. “No. One more try. This will work. It has to work this time.”

A sparkling star alit atop Luna's horn, casting waving blue rays of brilliance that peirced the shadows as she prepared herself.

“Perhaps I didn't make myself clear,” Celestia held Discord back with a single hoof, her brows furrowed. “If you keep trying to reunite yourself with it, you're going to die.”

Discord's amber eyes were as slits as they met Celestia's violet ones, her multihued mane tumbling around her a little even though she'd long since stopped moving.

“... Well, I suppose that would mean our little game would be over then, hmm?” After a long, long pause, Discord put on a toothy smile, but she could see the weariness through his facade. Although his grin was large, the bags beneath his eyes hardly lifted from it. It was almost as if he were trying to smile off the painful looking slump in his back, like she wouldn't notice the effort it took him to move.“You know, it's awfully immature, being a sore loser about it-”

“I can't watch you tear yourself apart like this anymore, Discord,” Celestia said softly, her tone expressionless.

“You could always wait outs-”

“Lu.”

Princess Luna shifted awkwardly, innocently observing the flawless and still glowing crystalline orb on it's stone pedestal. Celestia turned back to the draconequus, catching the tired, faraway look in his eyes.

“... Please, Celestia. I-I have to do this.”

“No, you don't. Just- let's at least try it my way, it's more-”

“Repulsive?” Discord finished, achily crossing his arms with a frown and cracking his back, ashes falling off of him. “Kowtowing to the 'Council' isn't going to get us jack diddly, they don't give a damn about this world or any of its inhabitants! So long as nothing interrupts their precious balance,” he spat in disgust, “I wouldn't be surprised if they played ping pong while the universe implodes.”

“You don't have to do this.”

“Tia, we talked about this. They – are – not – an – option,” he reiterated through clenched teeth, mismatched hands shaking.

“... Don't be late.”

“Luna, again.”

From outside the room, in the dark and long hallways whose pillars carried the decorated ceiling, the occasional flash of sun bright blue flame would flicker beneath the heavy wooden door. The gargantuan shadows bowed and quavered fearfully from the light, only daring to return to their positions as sentinels once the terrible echoing scream laden glow had retreated.

Celestia walked amongst those shadows in pensive silence, her face cast in darkness.

Councils and treaties and Titans and life. Simplicity, how I long for thee.

0-0-0-0-0

Sun beaming down on them, the wind in their hair, the day couldn't have been better.

“This couldn't possibly get any worse,” Eris moaned miserably, slapping away what she assumed was a giant mosquito from the back of her head.

“Aww, chin up!” Lyra beamed, apparently no worse for the wear as she pulled out a small map from her saddlebag. “We're almost there, it's totally worth it.”

The winding dirt path leading from the wooded trails up the mountainside felt like it had taken years to climb, even though the sun had hardly reached midday. William scowled up at it distractedly, straining to ignore the sweat and tiredness.

“Swear to god,” Eris shook her empty canteen with a foul look at it. “If we get all the way to the top just so you can go 'look at the view!' I'm kicking Will's ass.”

“Wait, what-”

“Nah, we aren't going to the top,” Lyra ran a hoof over the unfolded map, several red circles seemingly scribbled on at random. One was near their position on the mountainside, another was far off to the Everfree forest, and a couple had been crossed out by the outskirts of Ponyville. William silently noted that a particularly large circle had been scratched on beside Ponyville's lake, but Lyra made no move to explain them.

“So... we can go home now?” Eris stretched before cupping her eyes and looking out over the treetops. “Hey, I can see my house from here.”

“Breezie Springs is just a little way from here,” Lyra informed them, neatly tucking the map back into the depths of her saddlebag before William could get a better look at it. “Trust me, you can't miss it.”

“So there is a spring all the way up here...” William mused aloud.

“Why's it called Breezie Springs?” Eris asked boredly, dragging herself along behind the oddly now invigorated ponies. The rock walls grew higher as they traversed the steadily shrinking path, making her feel uneasily small.

“Normally,” the unicorn magically brushed aside a large pair of bushes conveniently blocking the path, “It's because the Breezies can't get enough of this place. They're all cleared out of here at this time of year, though, so we should be good.”

“So, what are Breezies, then?” Eris rolled a paw through the air as she followed them. “Are they like... some kinda people, or mountain tribe, or cannibal cult, or holy titty nuggets.”

Nobody seemed to have a proper response to that.

There was a bit of a contrast, to say the least.

The forest path that they had been following abruptly ended, as if a gigantic invisible knife had neatly sliced off the rest of the trees.

The high, cold and sharp looking rock walls that felt as if they were continuously pressing in on them seemed to simply halt, widening around in a humongous stone bowl. On one side, the sun perfectly caught the crystal clear water springing out from the mountainside, creating a calm little waterfall in the pool. The sudden introduction of so much bright green almost blinded them, as the palms and leafy plants themselves seemed to warp down from over the lip of the bowl and further into the valley, deepening in hues as they descended until they crashed reckless and free onto the sandy beach. As if to complete the picture, a single rainbow stretched down over the lake, casting a number of brilliant hues on the sand. William's attention was particularly focused on this for a while.

“Yeah, I've seen better,” Lyra grinned, allowing the pair of stunned chaoslings to pick their jaws up. “Me and Bon used to come up here all the time, but we came less and less when she started picking up work.”

“This place is, is... I mean, it's gorgeous,” Eris balked, neck craning as she attempted to follow the treeline where some seemed to be growing horizontally, giving her a bizarre flash of vertigo. “I mean, it's almost unreal.”

“This is why you brought us all the way up here?” William blinked, trying to keep himself from taking in every breathtaking sight at once.

“Well, I figured it would be a bit more fun to clean up in the springs instead of taking a boring old bath to get ready for tonight's shindig, eh?” Lyra clapped him on the back.

“... Aren't we just going to get dirty going back down the mountain?”

“Quit bein' a spoilsport!” Eris cackled, making straight for the springs. “Last one in's a rotten egg!”

“I'll-I'll catch up!” William insisted when Lyra nodded ahead cheerfully, sliding her saddlebag off. “I just want to-to, er... check out some of the, uh, flora here, it's fascinating.”

Lyra gave him an odd look, but shrugged.

“Don't take too long, we don't have all day,” she reminded him, and William heaved a breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding when she traipsed off to join Eris. For a moment he was afraid she wouldn't find it believable. He pulled off his own saddlebag, carefully eyeing the pair to discover when they would inevitably grow bored of him. Then, he could get near that rainbow as well...

Some of the flowers growing around the springs really did interest him, though, so it wasn't a complete lie. Nothing like the wildflowers or mushrooms of the surrounding forested areas, the plants in Breezie Springs were a sight to behold in and of themselves. Upon closer inspection of the leafy vegetation, William discovered that some of them had fat pink berries growing along their undersides, which he gleefully noted. He silently kicked himself for not bringing along something to write with to record his findings.

Another of the plants was what appeared to be a stubby orange turnip, but when pulled up from the ground revealed a row of cactus like thorns protruding from a bundle of twining roots. One that especially held William's attention was a small, unassuming flower bulb with a simple green palette and a red spot that smelled faintly of moss. It drooped from the stem heavily, a single dangling leaf stiffly jutting out. William frowned, poking the little bulb curiously, only for one end to pry open at his touch and reveal a number of rubbery tooth like appendages that curled upwards upon contact with air. The 'mouth' of the thing looked, strangely enough, almost tongue pink.

Of course, this was the one that he promptly decided was perfect.

It sat quietly in a little mound of dirt in his pack on the way out of the springs, almost as if watching over the vial of bottled rainbow.

“I wouldn't worry about it,” Lyra replied when a still sopping wet Eris casually asked what was to become of Bon Bon. “She just loves these sorts of big parties, distracts her from her boring job. She wouldn't miss it for the world.”

0-0-0-0-0

“What do you mean, you have to miss it?”

“Exactly that,” Bon Bon responded cooly, tugging on a slimming black overcoat in the doorway. Lyra only stood stunned, small saddlebag still in hoof as the mare trundled neatly out the door without looking back.

“But-but you'll miss all the fun!” the unicorn called after her, mane in her eyes.

“I'll be at the next one, promise,” she lifted a single hoof without looking back, checking the road before setting off into the evening. “Gotta work tonight, see you when I get home.”

And with that, Bon Bon skipped cleanly past the waiting carriage and vanished into the evening.

“What happened to 'wouldn't miss it for anything', eh?” Eris drained the remaining dampness from her hair with a lime and pink polka dotted colored towel. William held his own similar one at arm's length in revulsion, muttering about color tastes.

“She just has to do that sometimes,” Lyra stated expressionlessly, “I don't question it anymore. Come on, you two, or we're going to be late.”

“We could always, y'know... not go,” Eris suggested loudly as William was trundled awkwardly into the pony drawn carriage. One of the pegasi gave them an attentive nod before resuming his post.

The interior matched the outside in opulence; whereas the carriage itself was gleaming silver, the interior was lined with velvet and cushions, two circular windows set in both doors. A sinking feeling of dread gnawed in William's stomach as the obvious occurred to him.

Of course, they were being escorted by Celestia's pegasi.

“Heights. I hate heights,” he grumbled as Eris flopped into one of the comfortable seats next to him.

“Aww, you've been cranky all day,” she ruffled his white mane as she stared out the window, oblivious to his irritation.

“It'll be a great party,” Lyra reassured them as the gradual bumping of the massive plated wheels rumbled the carriage. “Just wait until we get there, it'll be fun!”

“I mean, it's not like I care or anything...” the draconequus began casually, squinting out the window at something. “But, uh, what exactly is this whole shebang for?”

“What, you mean the Griffonian ambassador?” William blinked at her. “Did you even bother to read the invitations?”

“For the love of Celestia, stop that carriage!”

The trio's cries of surprise were muffled by the rattling halt that they came to, and Lyra wound up stumbling into the floor. Without warning, one of the carriage doors was flung open to the cool evening air.

“Miss Twilight?”

“Have you seen anything?” the unicorn blurted, wild eyes flickering around the cabin. Her mane was frizzy and sticking up in multiple directions, and she repeated herself more urgently, clearly out of breath.

“Are-are you alright?” Lyra balked, pulling herself up in embarrassment at her position a moment later. “What are you talking about?”

“No-no, no you wouldn't have...” Twilight murmured aloud, eyes darting back and forth.

“Wouldn't have what?” William leaned forward curiously, his interest peaked. He swiftly noted that her mane was partly matted and her tail looked as if she had been tugging on it, a nervous habit that she frequently indulged in whenever he had been allowed to borrow her beloved and fragile telescope.

“Are you on drugs or something?” Eris asked bluntly.

“No nothing no bother sorry to take up your time have a nice day,” Twilight said all in one breath, shoving the door shut and leaving as quickly as she had come, the clopping of her hooves trailing off as the carriage started up again.

Lyra looked back and forth between William and Eris, confusion the only constant among them.

“... That probably wasn't important,” Lyra let out an awkward half laugh as they began to rise into the air. It might have sounded a little more comforting if she believed it.

0-0-0-0-0

Under The Table

0-0-0-0-0

Of course, it just had to be dark and stormy.

Thundering gray clouds roiling in a quiet tempest overhead, darker and darker along the skyline as they trundled toward the battlements only served to cast the already long shadows in a deeper shade. Only silent whispers of the night to come.

“Christ, was it always this gloomy looking?” Eris stared through the curtained window up at the castle, brows furrowed.

William wanted to echo the sentiment, but between the constant jostling of the carriage, the bouncing in his head and his unpleasantly churning stomach, he didn't trust himself to speak. Instead he shrugged with one shoulder, glancing away to keep his gaze toward the carpeted flooring.

“... Yeesh,” Lyra tittered weakly as they thankfully rolled to a halt, free at last from cobblestone and settling onto smooth grass in front of the low vibrant hedges. “Everypony looks so down, are you two feeling okay?”

“Yes fine of course ma'am,” William replied instantly without looking up.

“Not exactly fond memories of this place,” Eris wouldn't seem to meet her gaze for the longest time before letting out a quiet sigh. She lifted her arms high over her head, paw clasped tightly around her wrist as she cracked her back and resumed her usual tilted grin. “But I guess the sooner we get this thing over with, the sooner we can bail.”

“Not a fan of parties, then?” Lyra asked as she exited the carriage first, thanking their transport stallions and holding the door for the passengers.

“No,” he frowned.

“Yes,” Eris responded simultaneously. “But this is like... an ambassador thing, right?”

“Sure,” William said noncommittally without looking at her. He kept his saddlebag tight to his side, nervously eyeing the castle ahead. “I don't want to be here either, Eris.”

Swiftly.

Eris cracked her back, glancing over at the retreating carriage wistfully as more arrived before turning her head back to William, who was already heading towards the lit up castle.

“Then how come you were so eager to come to this thing?” she asked lowly, tail swishing back and forth behind her.

“Mother and her friends received an invitation as well.”

Eris only let out a heavy expectant sigh through her nostrils, glancing over to Lyra with a frown. Lyra, however, seemed to be thoroughly entranced with the castle's cliffside overhang, the warmly glowing lights sneaking from behind every window, the long shadows patiently awaiting the rain. Seeing no help coming from her, Eris shook her head again and followed more closely. Ponies were already milling through, loitering around the castle entrance in fancy suits and flowing dresses. Eris dusted her mismatched hands on her thighs, grinning weakly at the pony marching steadily beside her.

“Man, kinda feel under dressed, seeing all these puffed up peacocks. Know what I mean?”

Again, William did not respond.

“... Because if you think about it we all just kinda showed up naked.”

“Eris,” William said through his teeth as they approached a standing guard at the grand entrance, red carpet rolling through the hall. He whipped out the crumpled parchment from his saddlebag and shoved it in the face of the slightly surprised armored pegasus, who only nodded to him as he rammed it haphazardly back into the bag. “If you don't mind, let's just hurry along. I don't have the time.”

“Oka~y, hold up,” Lyra trotted up to him after nodding politely to the royal guard, nervously eyeing the place as William marched along like he knew the castle comfortably. She dropped a hoof onto his shoulder and he paused for just a moment, and the turn of his head in the bright lights only enunciated the creased lines darkening his eyes. “... Um,” Lyra cleared her throat, a sudden spike of discomfort piercing her the same time those unnaturally sharp eyes did. “Maybe don't run off, okay, William?”
“Of course ma'am,” he responded robotically. “Wouldn't dream of it.”

“What's with the bird faces?” Eris muttered loudly, getting William's attention away from the black and white checkered floor. He glanced up to where she was nodding, and his eyebrows actually rose a little. He knew that coat of arms from somewhere, the emblazoned coats that all of the griffons seemed to be wearing. Lumped together in tightly knit groups, long cloaks covering most of their bodies, the griffons seemed to be in deep conversation alongside one of the walls in the spacious entryway, and more could be seen in the decorated grand hall. Bursts of music emanating from an unseen band further within could be heard, but William's gaze was solely on the griffons until it clicked.

“Gestalt,” William murmured under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he twitched, not noticing that Eris had leaned down next to him. He adjusted his saddlebag cautiously, careful not to rattle the neatly wrapped and packaged preparations. “Let's get into the 'party' already.”

“See, already getting excited!” Lyra proffered hopefully, almost prancing ahead to the wide entrance to the grand hall, poking her head around and taking in with wide eyes the packed floor, fanciful ponies littering the entirety. Her grin expanded at the sight, and she perked up promptly. “Oh, this is gonna be so cool! I'm gonna go talk to the band,” she pointed a hoof toward the corner where a steady stream of classical music was filtering the air. “You should totally come meet them-!”

“Actually I'm very thirsty from the trip here,” William cleared his throat conspicuously. “If you don't mind, I'll just go get a drink.”

“Suit yourself!” he flinched as Lyra patted him kindly on the head. “Just try to keep in sight of us, okay?”

“I'll get me some sip too,” Eris chimed in immediately, and she could feel the sudden clench of William's teeth. “C'mon autobot, let's roll out.”

“Okay...” Lyra stuttered before straightening up and glancing eagerly back to the band, her wide smile already returning. “Don't go too far, I'll be right back!”

They were left standing as ponies milled through the place around them, seemingly everyone that wasn't openly staring at the odd pair were mingling with perfume dusted debonair. William said nothing as he watched as much as he could with intensity, scanning the crowd almost feverishly for a sight of familiar mane.

“... So how's about that drink.”

“Are you sure you don't want to go catch up with Miss Lyra?” William still wasn't looking her in the eyes for the longest time before eventually, finally meeting her gaze for only a brief moment before flipping his stare back to the crowd intently. “Because I plan to loiter away from everyone until we can leave. I'm just going to avoid as many people as I can.”

“Sure,” she shrugged, turning on the spot. “See you in a bit then.”

William let out a silent sigh of relief as she walked away. Her tail swished back and forth like a cat stalking prey, twitching hypnotically in perfect rhythm with her lightly swaying steps. William forcibly blinked and shook his burning face a few times, keeping his line of sight firmly on the drink table not far away. He was so, so close. He took a deep breath and slipped through the crowd, ignoring as many ponies as possible and even rudely pushing through a startled couple, but his buzzing mind was too preoccupied to bother apologizing. He probably wouldn't even see them again. The only ones he was interested in seeing hadn't even noticed him yet. But he'd certainly noticed them. The frizzy pink mane, that repulsively tall behemoth escorting her. And of course, that vibrant collage of color and confidence that had his heart pounding in his throat since the moment he spotted her with them both.

He could hear his pulse slamming in his ears like a feverish drum, the strumming in his chest guiding him onward. A couple of fanciful goblets and a swift casual slip under the tablecloth later, he was almost ready. Thank goodness the constant din and roar of the crowd was dimmed under the thick cloth. He was close, he was so, so close that he could taste it. William hadn't even noticed that he'd been holding his breath so hard that his lungs burned and his throat ached, and he released a shaky breath and tried to keep his quivering hooves still as he mixed the ingredients together. His now open saddlebag kept the final piece of the liquid puzzle, and with a shaky, careful drop from the small crystal decanter that he'd 'borrowed', it all swirled together in a sizzling brew. The heat from the mixture rose and bubbled and grew until it was so hot that he almost couldn't hold it in his hooves, nervously biting his bottom lip and not daring to move an inch unless the concoction properly developed. But then, at last, at long last, the multitude of hues in the hastily mixed potion settled, the smoke collecting in bubbles throughout the thing until it burst out the top in a dark, blackened conglomeration.

William felt as though he were losing it just a bit more as he watched the coal colored smoke form what looked like a heart before dissipating.

He stared breathlessly at the twirling color within as it assumed a singular pinkish color, muddied and dark in the shadows. Perhaps it was just the dim lighting, but it looked almost as if splotches of ink had slipped into the bottle, and vanished quickly within. But that was ridiculous of course. William was very careful, there was no way that such a thing could be. He was pristine, he was cautious. He wouldn't botch this, not after all this work. Granted, this wasn't necessarily the situation that he'd have preferred to find himself in, but the sooner that he could get things in motion the better. He was going to make this work, he'd fix this. It really was a beautiful sight, he could appreciate it now that he had a moment. It was breathtaking in hue, the dimly luminescent coloring sending dancing spackles over the underside of the table. He felt an inexplicable and ridiculous urge to try reaching out and grabbing the little sparkles of light for a bare moment. Perhaps it was brought on by the giddiness.

“... 'sup.”

William yelped and jolted, dropping the crystal decanter. It bounced and slipped in his hooves as he scrambled for it, wild jarring desperation screaming behind his eyes as he struggled to wrap his forelegs around the bottle to keep it from hitting the floor. Very nearly falling right through his clumsy hooves, he managed to slap the whole thing tightly to his body, his lungs aching once again as he realized that he hadn't been breathing. William took in a sharp breath through his teeth as the intense panic faded slightly, replaced instead with jagged irritation, and his glower leveled at the draconequus across from him could have burned a hole through a wall.

Eris shifted under with him, letting the tablecloth fall behind her as they were curtained in. William could not at all read her expression, her crimson eyes locked onto him with an unexpected intensity. She revealed no emotion in the slightest, and that was perhaps even more off putting. Eris was usually easy to read, and the fact that she hadn't said a single word since was throwing him off. He could feel a heat ribboning through his body, uncomfortable sweat making him itch horribly but he forced himself to remain still. William kept his gaze on hers as he tried to shift his hoof casually over the bottle, knowing full well it was too late to actually hide it.

“What. Are you doing.”

“Just practicing chemistry-”

“Don't bullshit me, William.”

That bizarre tension in his heart seemed to be back again, and it was getting difficult to breathe properly. He tried to swallow and found an odd lump in his throat that he couldn't explain, but forced it down anyway, trembling hooves revealing a bit more of the hastily concocted potion.

“Look, I just-just need some help,” William admitted quietly, unable to meet her accusing gaze any longer.

“Dude, if that's what I think it is-”

“It's not!” he blurted. “It's not, it's not poison!”

“What?” Eris blinked, slightly taken aback.

“I just have to get some of this to Mother,” William was rambling at this point, and he knew it. It felt as if all of the needlepoint secrets he'd been trying to bury were sticking their way through him to get to Eris, everything trying to spill out at once no matter how hard he tried to keep it down, just so that someone, anyone would know. “I studied this, I've b-been working on it for a while Eris and I think I've gotten it down pat so it should be a cinch, we just need to get Mother and Miss Pie to d-drink a bit and then they'll remember that they love each other and we can-”

“A love potion,” Eris interrupted, rising so much that her head was pushed against the table. William stared her down, despite how utterly unsettling it was that it almost felt like she had grown in size, tried to ignore the quiet fear that spiked in his belly at the sight of her tightly clenched and shaking fists. “Are. You. Shitting me.”

“I didn't think it was possible at first either but it's fine Eris I can fix all of this I can make it work I just have to try harder this time!” he blurted all at once, feeling flushed and feverish as he held out the bottle to show Eris the whirling tinged liquid. “Look – look look, see?” he could feel his head spinning just a bit and didn't know why, the painful lump in his throat taking precedence over his speech yet again. “It will work I know it will, this time will be different!”

“Dude!” Eris snatched at the bottle and he yanked it away fearfully, scooting away from her while squeezing the decanter tightly to himself. Her hurt expression just made the ache worse. “Will,” she started carefully, deliberately not making any sudden movements. “Listen to me. Listen to your sissen. M'kay? You have. To let. It go.”

“No!” William shouted as he pulled away from her again, shooting her a filthy glare. It was hard, why was it so hard to breathe? “I can fix this Eris, I know I can!”
“What is there to fix?!” Eris was just as loud as him at this point, her lips pulled back in a snarl. She threw a mismatched arm out to the tablecloth, glowering at him. “Things change, Will! They aren't the same people, I need you to realize that, and I have been trying, but this is just fucking nuts!”

“Shut up,” his eyes were stinging as he stamped his hoof against the floor, careful not to drop the bottle. “Just-just shut up Eris! I'm not crazy, I know exactly what I'm doing-”

“And it is bananas,” she insisted firmly, trying to draw slowly closer without spooking him off, but her own fury was tripping her up. “Just listen to yourself for chrissake! It's done, they're gone, it's over, let it go!”

“STOP it!” William spat through clenched teeth, hyperventilating, desperately sucking in short gasp after gasp. “I can fix Mother, I-I-I just have to make her normal again, that's all!”

Eris only gaped at him in disbelief.

“Normal?” her aghast stare said more than her words did. “There was nothing normal about her!”

“You take that back!” his scream tore at his throat, leaving him feeling hoarse. “She's fine, I just have to-to get her t-to remember-!”

“Remember what, that in another timeline she was an abusive loon?” Eris scoffed aloud.

“Lying!”

William tried to speak, struggled to form words and none of them seemed to make it past his lips. His eyes were burning furiously and he didn't know when they had started streaming tears against his will, and a hot rush of shame only made the bundle of barbed wire anger tighten.

“You don't know what you're talking about,” William seethed, his eyes narrowing dangerously, and he pulled the crystal container closer as if he could squeeze it into his chest. “You don't!”

“Like hell I don't!” Eris was over him at this point, having backed him completely into a corner. William was pulling at the tablecloth needfully and only reached wall, internally screaming at his own stupidity. “Like hell I don't! I know exactly what she was like, why do you think I got outta dodge?”

“Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up,” he'd lost his grip on the decanter at some point, he heard it roll somewhere but couldn't see in the dim lighting. It was so hard to focus, so hard to breathe. “It's not true so shut up Eris just shut up please god please just shut up you're lying-”

“I am not a liar! You have to let go, Will! You keep acting like she's this perfect angel, and she's not! She wasn't alright in the head, I know that, you weren't there when she tried doing shit to me in my sleep, okay?!”

“You're making it up!” William didn't know when he'd started sobbing. He didn't know how to make it stop, either, but that didn't stop him from vainly trying. He shoved her back with shaking hooves, hardly budging her at all as the fractured shout tore his throat. “Just stop it you're making it up!”

“WHY would I make that up!” Eris threw out her arms angrily. “How would you even know?!”

“Because she doesn't love you like she does me!”

There are certain times in life when one is stricken with a sudden intense feeling. For instance, right then, in the absolutely deafening stunned silence, William was regretting literally every single choice and action that had ever led him to that particular point in his life, coupled with a surprisingly stark realization of just how badly he'd botched things. There was, after all, a very slim margin of possibility to him that maybe, perhaps just possibly, he might actually be wrong about one or two things.

“Oh,” was all that Eris managed to whisper after an eternity of shocked silence, her crimson eyes wide as saucers. “Oh. My fucking god.”

William was suddenly finding the act of standing upright quite the herculean task.

His legs buckled underneath him as he slowly sank to the floor, quietly pulling his forelegs up to hide his face. The empty feeling in his gut and chest was back, and it certainly didn't seem to be helping matters. He could feel the heat trickling down his cheeks and across his hooves as he struggled in vain to push back the tide, silently convinced that if he could just try harder he could shove back the shameful disobedient tears staining his features.

“... Will.”

He tried to respond and his throat seized painfully, his warbled answer barely slipping past his hooves in the form of a cracked whimper. He wished that he was anywhere else. Anyone else. It was such a clear realization.

Maybe he needed to think a few things over.

“William.”

William did not trust himself to speak at all anymore. He couldn't quite seem to get the wretched shivering to stop, and the intense flood of heat burning his face made his head feel weak and dizzy. So instead he remained as still and quiet as possible, squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could, and even that wasn't enough to make his body listen to the wordless demand of calm that he so badly wanted.

“I'm. I'm, uh...” he heard Eris say quietly after what sounded like a long, steady exhalation. “Shit. I'm gonna hug you now. I mean, if-if you're... I mean, dude, fuck, you are not alright. I'm just- I'm just gonna hug you. M'kay?”

William hardly heard her at all. There was such a strange ringing in his ears that wouldn't seem to go away, like he'd been punched in the side of the head. Maybe that would be preferable, actually, it couldn't possibly be as painful as the ache in his chest.

“I'm not hearing a no,” Eris continued softly as he felt a presence beside him. “So don't freak out on me. I'm right here, right next to you. A'ight? I'm here.”

“I know, Eris,” William released a croak at long last, uncertain of what to do with the arms wrapped around his neck or the accompanying unrecognizable sensation blossoming in him because of it. Eris just pulled him a bit closer until he was in her lap, arms and tail tightening around him like a curled fuzzy shield, and he didn't even bother fighting it anymore. He was too tired, his brain felt like mush. He didn't want to so much as contemplate pushing her away anymore. Not right now. Not when she was quietly trembling and rocking them both back and forth, murmuring soft nothings that they both knew were pointless. The befuddlement was there, always there; and William despised himself for it, for not understanding her quite enough, for not understanding everything as much as he was supposed to, as he needed to. God she confused him. She confused him so much.

So instead he did the unthinkable, the illogical and unnecessary.

He silently leaned into Eris and hugged her back.

0-0-0-0-0

She still hadn't returned.

Of course, William wasn't about to go out there.

He couldn't. Not right now. Not yet.

He couldn't risk her seeing him like this. Even that thought alone made his stomach churn uncomfortably.

So William pulled his legs a bit closer to his body, curling inward against the tablecloth covered wall. He really should have planned this out a bit better. But no, he had to go and get all anxious like always and jump the gun. But perhaps that was for the best. William had no idea whether or not the potion would have actually worked, he hadn't run trial tests. Always test first. Something could always go wrong, he needed to always, always prepare for error. And lately it seemed as though he'd been bungling quite a lot of things. He let out another silent sigh through his snout, resisting the urge to interlock his no longer existent fingers together. A love potion was a dumb idea anyway, he just had to keep repeating it was all.

Speaking of which...

William worriedly glanced across the underside of the table, still waiting on her return. She seemed to be taking hours and hours, and the lump in his throat seemed to swell yet again as he pushed his hooves against his eyes. No need to go starting that again. He tried to keep his breathing as steady as he could, the weird semi-convulsions of his upper body returning the longer he tried to ignore it. That stupid sharpness in his heart wouldn't seem to go away either, it always made it so hard to breathe, but it was fine. Everything was fine, he just had to keep repeating it was all. It wasn't his fault that he was falling apart like this, it couldn't be. His mind was just fine, which he reiterated to himself in a silent mantra that failed over and over to convince him.

My body is wrong.

Everything is wrong.

He fought to clear his head, which was turning out to be a slow process. All of the thoughts felt so jumbled between his ears. When exactly had it gotten so hard to think? It all felt so clear and concise before. So much simpler. Somewhere down the line, things had gotten strange, and it baffled him. Maybe, though... maybe it wasn't that everything else was confusing. Maybe it was just his own head that was the problem. He wasn't right. He'd been wrong before, he could be wrong about this. He wasn't... normal.

“... 'sup,” Eris's voice jolted him out of his worried reverie. He hadn't realized just how fiercely he'd been chewing on his bottom lip, and flicking his tongue out rewarded him with a taste of copper. He self consciously wiped his face with the crook of his foreleg, unable to meet her gaze again.

“So,” his voice was still scratchy from what he'd prefer not to think about. “Did you...?”

“Yep,” Eris flopped down beside him with a grunt, letting her tail roll out comfortably between her legs as she passed him a filled goblet. She settled in comfortably beside him as she promptly switched directions with her prehensile extension, awkwardly shifting with her tail wriggling behind him. He twitched away only for a moment of irritation before sidling in a bit more with a sigh. “I made sure to get rid of it, don't even worry bro.”

“... Thanks, Eris.”

“Don't mention it,” she took a long drink of her own goblet before smacking her lips a few times. “I don't even know what this stuff is, man. Booze-y? Apples? A cider-y thing? Kinda spicy, you know?”

“Not really?” William distractedly stared up at her at long last as he took a few small experimental sips of his own. Why was she being so casual about all of this? He was fighting just to do the same and still felt like he was on the verge of screaming incomprehensible noise just to get it out of his body. Maybe Eris was just handling everything better than he was. Somehow, that bothered him even more. “I mean, it is most certainly cider, yes.”

“Not strong enough for my liking,” Eris rubbed the back of her long neck, taking another swig and swishing it around her mouth before swallowing. “Next time we'll bring a keg, then it'll be a party. I've definitely had stronger than this, it's just not what I was expecting is all.”
“So what were you expecting?” William resisted the urge to yawn off the sleepiness. He took another nervous drink as he stared at her, watching her gaze narrow a bit. It was odd to see her so contemplative over something so trivial. At least the cool drink helped the burning in his throat, until that started burning a bit too.

“I guess I expected it to taste, I dunno...” she rolled her wrist calmly. “Shittier?”

“Hopefully not literally,” William responded with a tired, ever so tiny smile.

Eris only balked at him, mouth hanging slightly open, eyebrows shooting up.

“... What?” he glared, all friendly emotion draining instantly.

“Okay,” Eris blinked and looked away before rubbing her face with her free hand before chucking the goblet. “I just feel like I need to address that you – specifically you – are using humor to cope.”

“And what pray tell is wrong with that?” William's lips pursed as he took another drink, not dropping his gaze from her for an instant. Her tail felt awfully fuzzy and cozy so close to him, he wasn't certain if he was being drawn closer to her or vice versa. Either way, he refused to admit it.

“I didn't say there was anything wrong with it,” she reached out and ruffled his mane, causing him to sputter indignantly. He didn't move away, though he did ineffectually slap at her mismatched hands and try to realign his white mane, much to her amusement. That silly, almost unnoticeable smile kept trying to make its way back to his face despite his will. “I'm just saying, my dude, I wasn't expecting it out of you to start managing stress with jokes. Like, I mean, I thought that was my thing.”

“Who says it's entirely your 'thing', as it were?” William swiveled a bit to face her without pulling away from her too much. “You aren't the only one to have a thing, you know. I can have things, I can like things. Maybe that's my thing. I'm significantly adept with my thing.”

Eris was already snickering before she opened her mouth.

“Don't,” he deadpanned, only causing her titters to worsen as she poorly hid her smirk behind her talons. “Caught it just after I said it.”

“But-”
“Seriously Eris don't,” William stared at her. He started to speak before his words failed him and he wound up taking an unsteady breath, glancing away for what felt like hours. He closed his eyes for a bit as he leaned into her a bit closer. “... I'm. I'm sorry. Eris. For... for everything.”

“C'mon, man. I know it's hard. But sometimes you just gotta let it roll off, like water on a duck.”

“She's really not the same person, is she...” he said through clenched teeth, squeezing his eyes closed before prying them open, and he didn't have to look in a mirror to know that they were still red and puffy. “None of them are. They're... everyone, everything is different now. Maybe it... maybe change isn't as awful as I thought. Just maybe.”

“Just wish it hadn't taken me so long to get that through to you,” Eris sighed through her snout. “Should have... shit. Should have been smarter. Should have tried harder.”

“It isn't your fault, Eris. If anything, it's my fault. Usually is anyway.”

Eris blinked and slipped her mismatched hand into his free hoof, watching as he twirled what was left of his cider around his goblet absentmindedly. William wasn't really certain how to handle the thumb of her paw drawing small circles. He felt his fingers twitch trying to grasp her hand back before the realization set in yet again. It always left that strange sense of disconnect.

“Dude, you can't blame everything on yourself. Stop that junk.”

“I just-” William started before cutting himself off, biting his sore lip again. “I miss them. I miss my Mom, Eris.”

“Even though-”

“Yes,” he interrupted, clearly uncomfortable. “I know, I know Eris. I suppose I just...”

William stared at the murky liquid before sighing for the umpteenth time, throwing back the entire thing. His cheeks were brighter than they were before and he shook his head fiercely, shuddering slightly.

“I guess I thought that I... owed her?” William murmured in an unexpectedly abashed tone. “She was the first one to take me in. The first one to take care of me without treating me like-like some kind of side show, the first one to... to even bother. I suppose that at some point I just got it into my head that, after everything she'd done for me, I... I would always owe her, somehow or another.”

“Will,” Eris gripped his chin with her talons, forcing his weary gaze up at her. “I want to make sure you've gotten that outta your system, because you do not owe somebody jack diddly squat. Got it?”

William wasn't responding. He simply stared.

He finally turned his head away, shifting with unease, but he kept her paw tightly gripped to his hoof, unable as he was to separate himself from her.

“It doesn't make me stop missing her.”

“It's not healthy, dude.”

“I know, Eris,” William put his empty goblet down on the floor carefully, rubbing his face furiously afterwards. The bitterness cracking his voice was plain as day, even the turmoil of forcing down any emotion from littering his features was apparent. “I understand that, painfully clearly. But it's... it's what I knew, okay? It wasn't like I could just... well, actually,” he corrected himself, rubbing his temple with the tip of his hoof. “I actually did run away. Several... several times. She always found me. It didn't matter where I went, it wouldn't matter anyway. There's no point in mindless repetition.”

Eris let out a sigh, blowing out her cheeks. She only gave him a stare that he couldn't easily identify, eventually running her talons through her hair and scratching the tip of her antler awkwardly.

“Gotta admit,” Eris said after a while of silence. “Not really where I anticipated you'd go with that. If you knew then, then why-?”

“Because it doesn't matter, Eris,” William answered quietly without looking at her. She hadn't noticed when he'd gotten so still. “It didn't matter. Neither do I. All that matters is whether or not I make her happy.”

“Fffffffffuuuuuuuuuck that,” she jabbed him in the side with a talon, making him squirm suddenly. “You listen to me, and you listen good you puffy pink pastry,” Eris gripped him fully, and he was a bit thrown off by the intensity of her stare. “Somebody like that doesn't deserve to tell you what you're worth or what you're for or whether or not you matter. Because you do. You matter, okay?”

William once more found that speaking without his tongue fumbling was not as necessarily simple as he'd have liked.

“... Shut up Eris,” he mumbled as he buried his face in her chest fluff, hugging her.

“You don't mean that.”

“I know,” William sighed again as he pulled away. “Please don't think badly of her – I mean, who-who she used to be. She can change – I mean, she did change,” he corrected himself quickly, an unsettling discomfort rising in his chest from the look she was giving him. “If things got out of hand, then she would change and it would be fine.”

“So is that your observation?” Eris asked in a low tone. “Or did she just say she'd change and leave it at that?”

He didn't seem to have an answer at all.

“It was all my fault anyway,” William closed his eyes and let out a long breath. He was just so tired. He didn't think that he had any more tears left to shed, and wouldn't want to even if he did. The weariness was so bone deep, the ache in his chest wouldn't go away and the thrumming headache didn't seem to be lightening up either. “I have a nasty habit, Eris. All I do is ruin everyone's lives. I'm just as bad as she was then. I'm not a good person, Eris.”

Eris was stuttering something at that point, her eyes widening, but he silenced her with a quick hoof over her mouth.

“No.” William glared flatly. “I know, you're going to say something stupid and cheesy about how I can't blame myself or a myriad of inanities, but you need to understand, Eris. I hurt Mother just by being seen by her. Every time she looked at me it must have reminded her, all I did was steadily wear on the poor woman as a constant burden, so it's no wonder! I'm – I am sorry, Eris. Please. I'm sorry.”

“... You done?” she gripped both of his hooves in her mismatched hands. Her narrowed stare faded slowly as she watched his eyes water and his head dip, unable to force himself to look at her anymore.

“I just... I just want things to be normal, Eris,” William muttered bitterly. “Just once. Just for a little while. I want things to be normal again.”

“Uh-”

“I know it wasn't normal,” he confessed angrily, trying to pull away from her grip to wipe his eyes, but Eris wasn't releasing him. “I know, alright? I k-know I shouldn't want to go back, I know it's not good, I know it's not normal, but just-just... goddammit Eris! Will you stop looking at me like that?!”

Eris's shoulders heaved as she drew him as closely to herself as she possibly could, arms and tail wrapped around him like a tightly packaged gift. William let out a strangled and slightly irritated noise, but did not fight her further. He heavily contemplated releasing a stream of choice words and debated against it, instead going limp in her grip completely.

“Fuck dude,” he heard her choke out. “Big sis, be the big sis. Said I wasn't gonna cry, said I wasn't gonna cry anymore, and I'm fuckin' doing it anyway, fuck shit fuck-”

“Eris, good lord you need your mouth washed out with soap,” William refused to open his stinging eyes. He hugged what part of her he could from the awkward angle, sighing through his nose. “It's... it's fine, Eris.”

“My ass.”

“It's going to be fine,” he reassured her. William pulled away a bit to see Eris violently scrubbing her eyes with her palms, blowing a breath through her cheeks again and clearing her throat. “Alright?”

“Yeah,” Eris said without looking at him. “Guess I just didn't really figure out how bad shit was.”

“It. Is going. To be fine,” William reiterated firmly, grasping her cheeks in his hooves and forcing her to look at him for a full beat. “Maybe not right now, certainly, but-but-”

“But we'll make it that way,” she finished for him. He exhaled a silent sigh of relief and released her.

They fell silent for a while, simply holding each other in the dark as the din and muffled music wafted through the air outside.

“... Kinda weird to think everybody else is just having a normal party right about now,” Eris said eventually. The pain in his chest still hadn't stopped entirely, but William wasn't all too concerned with it anymore. Just being in close proximity with Eris seemed to have that strange effect on him.

“Do you think Miss Lyra is worried we're missing?”

“Probably not,” she scoffed. “I doubt she's even noticed, dude.”

“Maybe...” William didn't want to move away from her. Weirdly, it was probably the most comfortable and simultaneously uncomfortable he'd been in a long, long time; and even weirder, he found himself worrying about whether or not Eris felt the same. “Maybe.”

“So Dad is here.”

“He is?” William balked suddenly, a spike of panic shooting through him.

“Not at the party thing,” Eris cast out a paw toward the tablecloth. “But Princess Venasaur Solarbeam out there was talking about Dad with those macho military flamingos.”

“Eris, sometimes the hardest part about talking with you is deciphering most of what you're saying.”

“I know, dude. I'm a ton of fun.”

“Well, you're half right-”

William found it suddenly hard to breath from the incessant sharp tickles to the ribs.

“Eris stop that!” he giggled, the absolute horror plain on his face at hearing such a ludicrous noise emanating from his own mouth. “S-stop Eris, I'm not ticklish!”

“Really?” Eris grinned wickedly, snagging him by the sides and viciously tickling him further, her delight obvious at his discomfort. “Because for somebody's who's not ticklish, you sure do wiggle!”

“Alright alright alright alright I'm sorry!” he managed to wail angrily through the awful titters. “Dammit woman you will not infantilize me!”

“Chill, my dude,” she snickered, setting him down on wobbling legs. “But just to let you know, you are not getting away with that. It's really mean.”

William began to shoot back a retort as he brushed himself down before he clamped his mouth shut, promptly freezing in place and blinking at her.

“... Sorry, Eris,” he cleared his throat and glanced away. “You are correct. It was immature of me, and a low blow.”

“Which you happen to be at the perfect height for,” she added seriously.

“REALLY, Eris?” he stared at her with a tilted, blatantly irritated deadpan.

“Sorry, dude, I know you've got a short fuse.”

“What were we just talking about?” William didn't bother fighting the grin anymore. It was obvious from her playful tone that she wasn't too serious. And right then, William would most certainly prefer going along with it. “I will have you know that I am the perfect height.”

“Yeah, for a troll doll,” Eris pushed his nose after he flopped – actually flopped – right into her lap. “I mean, have you seen your hair lately, Einstein?”

“Speak for yourself,” he inspected the bottom of his hoof casually. “But you do make a toupee look good.”

“And you'd make a good toupee, don't push me,” she poked him in the belly, making him instantly wriggle with aggravation.

“Absolutely scathing!” William gasped in faux offense. “I'll have you know I am coat material, I'll settle for nothing less than the best.”

Eris couldn't contain her laughter anymore. She did her best to hold it in and only wound up sputtering through tightened lips as she gave up trying to hide it.

“Dammit dude,” her toothy grin widened upon seeing a genuine smile on him for once. “Alright. You got me with that one.”

“... Thanks Eris,” William closed his eyes temporarily and hugged her, even if it still didn't feel natural doing the hugging thing. “Just... thank you.”

“No need my dude,” Eris rubbed the back of her stiff neck sheepishly. “Thanks for putting up with me.”

“Oh, please. Putting up with you?” William scoffed with a matching smirk. “I already told you, Eris. I'll settle for nothing less than the best.”

0-0-0-0-0

The Valley

0-0-0-0-0

“I'm telling you dude,” Eris said as she lifted the heavy tablecloth for William to slip past. “She's not even gonna care.”

“I still don't want to go out there,” he grumbled quietly. “I'd rather we just...”
“What?” she quipped as she stood fully, rubbing her aching back. “Hide under the table until everybody else leaves?”

“You said it, not me,” William replied dryly.

“C'mon, man. It's not that bad. Just... come out and face the world with me. Alright?”

William did not move. Not for the longest time. He could feel his cheeks and neck burning as her stare bored a hole in him. His head dipped lower and lower, pulled to the ground by the invisible grindstone around his shoulders. He couldn't look at her. He tried; he also failed repeatedly. William rubbed his eyes distractedly, wishing that she would say something, anything, the dull roar of the outside crowd suddenly feeling much too quiet, as though the screaming in his head could be heard around the room. He squeezed his wrists together, taking a slow breath, and still she said nothing. He could see a glimpse of her even then, on her haunches with that rhythmic tail swishing back and forth behind her that took too much effort to look away from, the burning in his cheeks worsening because he knew the disgusted, judgmental expression was one that he just could not face right now.

And once again he was wrong, once again her patient silence was only making it all worse.

William let out a long, drawn out exasperated sigh before finally dragging a slow, heavy hoof down his weary face. His eyes ached, his chest hurt, his heart felt like it had been pulled in too many directions and he was so very drained that just the idea of retreating like a bloated spider back underneath the table and curling up into a little ball seemed more appealing than continuing breathing at all.

Eris stared down at him with that doofy, lopsided head and reassuring little smile, eyebrows tilted a little sadly like she knew everything he was thinking. Finally, William reached out; carefully, slowly, tentatively, and took her paw with a tired breath, letting himself be pulled out with surprising gentleness from the shadowy encompassing comfort of the enclosed silence.

“Urgh,” he blurted immediately, shielding his eyes. “My head is pounding.”

“Mine too, dude,” Eris's usual lopsided lazy grin was back.

“Precisely why I am revolted by crying. It gives me terrible headaches.”

“I mean, between that and the booze-”

“Wait what?” he blurted, jerking his head up to her and narrowing his chestnut eyes sharply. “That's what was in the cider? Eris, we can't be drinking!”

“Sure we can,” she flicked out her forked tongue at him, making something unidentifiable stir which he was very quick to ignore. “They wanna give out free drinks, then we're taking 'em. Screw the rules, I have booze.”

William somehow felt much more exposed the longer that he stood out in the open. He could hear it all so clearly now, the clamor of voices, the bass and treble of the far off band over the massive hall, the hustle and bustle of clinking goblets and cheerful camaraderie of the excessively rich or self important bundled in garish herds across the floor. And she was there, of course. He could spot her from a mile away.

He was stricken with a sudden sick, violent repulsion at it all, a grimace clawing its way onto his features as he repressed a stomach wracking shudder.

“... Y'alright, dude?”

“Yes,” William replied instantly before meeting her soft, concerned stare, and a pang of shame spiked through him once again before he cleared his throat. “... No.”

“Will, if you wanna-”

He held up a slightly trembling hoof before drawing in a shaky breath, squeezing his eyelids closed for a few seconds before forcibly prying them back open, matching her look with an empty, lifeless stare.

“Have you seen Miss Lyra anywhere?”

“Can't seem to find her,” Eris tilted back on her heels, one hand placed on the small of her back as she twisted her lips to the side. “She probably doesn't care. You actually think we should go look for her?”

“Would you perhaps mind seeking her out instead?”

Eris opened her mouth to respond before clamping it shut, eyeing him with a knowing look. Her gaze flickered up to where he had been staring and the understanding sparked on her face as she glanced back to him, a single eyebrow slowly raising.

“Uh huh. Just trying to get rid of me that easily, huh?”

“It's not like that Eris-” he started quietly before she cut him off.

“Look... dude, if you wanna go talk to her, we can just go over there.”

“I'd-” he sucked in a breath through his teeth, a heavy, desperate longing to hide behind her instead of doing that, or even just having her there with him, but the thought of it just made the weight in his chest grow heavier. William cleared his throat and turned his downcast eyes to his hooves as if they were the most interesting thing in the room and he refused to look up for the longest time. Eventually he pulled back to her, and Eris was slightly surprised to see that fire in those eyes – and awful, weary, hungry fire, and she had to resist the urge to take a step back, even though she wasn't entirely certain why.

He turned away almost immediately after seeing the uncertainty in her face, staring back at the mare oblivious to their existence only a hop and a skip away. When he did finally gather the strength to look her in the eyes again, he found her searching him; prying, inquisitive, slightly tilted and expectant all at once.

“Please?” he added in a low, nervous tone. “Look, I... I get that maybe you don't really trust me on-on my own right now-”

“Kind of an understatement,” she said only just loudly enough for him to hear, and he pressed on regardless of his burning cheeks.

“But this is... I mean, Eris, this is something that I really need to do by myself.”

“You don't have to do it by yourself,” Eris's brows furrowed and he felt himself scrunch further inward reflexively before something twisted visibly in his eyes. He only stared and stared for what felt like ages.

“Eris,” William stated calmly. “I. Want. To do this. By myself,” he punctuated every syllable carefully, not dropping his head for a moment. “It's... I'm sorry. But if I don't... if I don't do this now, I might never do it. And if I don't, it is going to haunt me, and-and... and I just don't know if I can carry that,” he finished somewhat lamely, unable to meet her questioning, piercing stare any longer. “So please, Eris. Just... please just let me do this on my own.”

“Alright.”

He blinked and glanced up, eyebrows shooting into his bleached mane.

“I – really?” he resisted the urge to rub his aching eyes. “That's... that's it?”

“Yeah dude,” she shrugged and leaned against the heavily decorated table with an abrupt air of casualness about her as she plucked another goblet of cider from the refreshments without even looking away from him, taking a long, comfortable easing of drought. He still noticed the arrhythmically twitching tail though. “All you had to do was say so, broseidon.”

“Because I get the feeling you have something that you want to say,” he had to pull his eyes away from the weirdly attention grabbing tuft at the end of her tail. “If it makes you feel any better, I pinkie promise to behave myself.”

“I know you will, dude,” Eris's shoulders slumped a little despite her lopsided, slightly tired grin. “And if it makes you feel any better, I'm gonna pretend that I won't be lurking around and totally not eavesdropping. Not-not in, like, a jealous way, or anything like that. Just go get 'em, Tigger.”

William began with a snappy retort before clenching his mouth shut. He finally sighed through his nostrils and shook his head, an ever so tiny, wry smile tugging reluctantly at his lips as well.

“... Thank you, Eris.”

“Don't mention it, my dude,” she tossed back the entirety of the remaining cider and swallowed loudly, letting out a strange sound and shivering for a second. “Now quit procrastinating and go before I change my mind and totes drag you with me while we bail this shitshow.”

“Eloquent as always,” he drawled sarcastically as he whirled on the spot and walked away to prevent her from seeing the relieved smile on his face. Any emotion was swiftly drained away, however, as his hooves grew heavier and heavier the closer that he forced himself toward...

Her.

William's throat suddenly felt much, much drier, and he had to physically stop himself from going back to the table with Eris and drinking as much cider as his body could handle to hopefully drown whatever he needed to. He didn't bother indulging in the impulse to look back, either, even if it was just to make sure that Eris wasn't really right behind him the whole time. But he refused. He could not look back. Not anymore.

He swallowed with difficulty and made his way past well dressed mares and stallions with opulent dinner jackets and vibrant matching dresses, thick perfumes and colognes clogging his sense of scent as he marched past with all the fervor and willingness of a man condemned to death row. The shadow of death itself couldn't have been this intimidating. It certainly felt like it to him. Maybe that in itself wouldn't quite be as terrible as the gnawing, painful ache in his chest that refused to leave no matter how hard he tried to quash it down. But he cleared his face regardless as he slowly, steadily approached, wishing that the chattering crowd would just swarm around and block his path so that he could use it as an excuse, a reason to give up on what was obviously a foolhardy and needless venture. Both Eris's and his own words echoed in his head as he drew nearer like a serpent through tall grass, fearful of being stepped on or attacked from any angle and utterly unable to do anything more at this point than press eternally, desperately onward both because of and in spite of his own wishes.

And then, there she was.

Somehow, he knew that he would have to come to this point eventually. He had seen her so many times, but never quite like she was now. Wings at her side in an easygoing stance, her flowing dress ever so gently scraping the floor without quite touching it. He was so used to seeing her look as she normally did that he never even entertained the thought of her appearing different for any occasions, and felt foolish for it. But he usually did whenever he got too close. The pang in his banging heart was almost loud enough to cover up the sound of the swaying music, the milling crowd, the fear. Just not quite enough. And William regretted ever walking up to her as she realized his presence, eyes widening ever so slightly as a little smile graced her lips, and the regret only continued to compound and build the longer that he stood like a wooden stump. He didn't speak, either; he only looked at her, took in the sight of her slightly pinned up mane that both seemed as though hardly had any effort put in and still spoke of elegance, the surprise easing right into recognition and welcome, the undercurrent of both curiosity and stifled worry as he approached all seemed such a monumental mountain that all he could manage to do was cast his eyes upward and wonder just how any such task could be approached without the terrible dread like he felt then.

She was even so kind as to spare him from speaking first, because at that moment he knew it must have been blatant that he couldn't get his tongue to work properly. He could have reached out and touched her, and the welling fear only grew from the realization. She didn't look at him any differently than she ever had. Perhaps that made it even worse.

“Are you alright?” her crisp voice seemed to yank him back out of the sludgy reverie clinging to his mind, and finally, after an eternity of standing frozen in place, he at long last managed to drag out the spiked ball in his chest.

“If I might have just a moment of your time,” William began ever so gingerly, his voice no louder than hers. “I... need to apologize, Miss Fluttershy.”

0-0-0-0-0

“Applejack,” Fluttershy turned slightly to the interested looking mare. “Um, do you mind if-?”
“Don't even need to ask,” she responded without hesitation, glancing casually to William for a moment. “Guess ya got an invite too, huh?” when William did not respond she simply shook her head once before turning back to the pegasus. “Who knows, maybe everypony actually will show up after all. I'm gonna go hit up those fancy fellas with appetites and big wallets,” Applejack added with a grin.

“Thank you,” Fluttershy bowed her head meekly.

“Take your time,” she drawled without looking back, the clopping of her hooves swiftly buried amongst the crowd as she left. William was half tempted to call out to her and ask for assistance and was promptly stricken with a deep repulsion. He sucked in a breath through his teeth and dryly swallowed as he faced her. The uncertainty alone was almost enough to turn him away.

“... Are you doing okay there?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

“Yes ma'am,” he responded in an equally low tone, unable to quite meet her gaze. “Thank you for asking.”

How was he supposed to do this? What was he supposed to say?

Can I even say?

“I'm pretty awkward at big parties like these,” Fluttershy admitted after a moment. “My goodness, all of these ponies I don't know and I feel so out of place. It's very nerve wracking,” she pulled at her dress and looked around. “Um, to-to some ponies, I mean.”

“I understand,” William nodded once. “I'm not particularly fond of crowds myself.”

The terse silence between the two resumed; or at least, it felt tense to him. He studied her features to see if she felt the same, and it didn't take much to recognize her discomfort.

Say something.

“So,” he cleared his throat uneasily. “C-come here often?”

Say something that's not stupid.

“On occasion,” Fluttershy smiled a little. “Princess Celestia seems pretty fond of parties, I think. Although it does seem a little, um, tense with the foreign dignitaries.” She craned her neck up to peer over at the tightly knit crowd of cloaked griffons. He followed her stare and inspected the winged ones, a prickle of unease rippling a little before he attempted to quash it. None of them seemed to be talking either, simply watching the mingling ponies with steely, sharp gazes.

“I sure hope that they manage to loosen up a little,” Fluttershy turned carefully back to him. “It must be awfully difficult for those poor fellows, meeting everypony here. Facing things like that can be awfully scary.”

“Agreed,” he nodded again. “Would you like to go convince them to join the party?”

“Oh goodness no,” she shivered, eyes widening. “I can hardly be dragged to a crowd myself, I can't imagine making them mingle if they don't want to. It seems very impolite. Really, it feels kinder to allow them time to adjust. Maybe if they get to know that ponies aren't scary at all, they won't be so afraid that they all bunch together, and then we can all be friends...” Fluttershy mumbled toward the end and hung her head a bit sheepishly. “What about you, then?” her look softened a bit to him, “Is there anypony here that you'd like to make friends with, William?”

“My name is-” he started before closing his mouth and blinking. “No. I mean, er, well. Yes. I mean,” William struggled against the heat creeping into his cheeks. He blew out a sigh and shook his head. “Actually, yes. It's just... a lot harder than it looks.”

“I know,” she nodded with an understanding smile. “I really do wish that I could help to make it a bit easier.”

William only stared at her for what felt like an eternity. He finally shook his head, an almost unnoticeable, weak grin working its way onto his face.

“But of course you do,” he gave a half chuckle. “You would.”

“Yes?” Fluttershy blinked in slight confusion.

“I'm-” William managed at long last. “I wanted to apologize, Miss Fluttershy. I-I, well. I...” the remorseful pang in his heart was back with a vengeance and the lump in his throat made it difficult to breathe, let alone speak. “I'm... I'm sorry.”

“All is forgiven.”

Once more, he felt incredibly stupid for only having the capacity to stare.

“You don't even know what I did,” William was a little put off by the weirdly angry spike in his chest, which was quick to fade the longer she gave him that look. That look, the one that he could not define no matter how hard he tried, like she was looking right into his soul and didn't loathe him.

“I know I don't,” she continued kindly. “I forgive you anyway. And I'd still forgive you even if I did know.”

William felt like he had just been sucker punched.

… She truly would.

A new, hot fresh tide burned at his eyes and he fought to hold back a sudden flood, disgusted at his own weakness. William dipped his head away and strained to keep it at bay, desperately hoping that she didn't see the sudden shiver that rippled across him like a stone dropped in a pond. And he had just started to pull it together.

“I-” he wanted to look her in the eyes, he wanted to see her, he wanted to tell her. But it hurt. “I k- I mean, before, I-I, I kil-”

“It's okay.” William's heart stopped mid beat at the wingtip on his shoulder.

“It's not,” he said quietly. “What I did, I-”

“Are obviously very regretful for,” Fluttershy added. “Did you learn anything from it?”

“Far more than I wanted to.”

“But it's good that you still learned...” that horrible, painful kindness in her eyes was enough to crack him. “It's okay to make mistakes. Just make sure to learn from them, so that you don't make the same mistake again, and I really believe that everything will be alright.”

There again was that revolting compulsion to actually hug someone. It was getting harder and harder to suppress.

“... I'll try,” he simply could not bear to look at her any longer, turning to the floor and closing his eyes. “I pinkie promise.”

“That's really all anypony can ask for,” she nudged him limply. “Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me?” William coughed back the sudden urge to laugh incredulously, his sputtering increasing twofold. “I – thank you, Miss Fluttershy. I'm so-”

“You know that you and Eris are always welcome over for tea, right?” Fluttershy continued as if he weren't vigorously rubbing back thoroughly hated tears. “I know that Discord has been awfully busy with, um, Discord things, but it would be really nice if we all got together.”

“It sounds lovely,” he muttered truthfully as he shook his head, forcing his hooves to the ground to stop rubbing his eyes. When he turned up to her once more he showed no expression whatsoever, like a blank canvas, and he drew in a wavering breath once more, words that he wanted to profess refusing to come as simply as he wanted them to. She was being so casual, so calm about it all that it was throwing him off far more than he expected. But in the end, he found significantly more than a bit of gratitude towards her. He attempted to apologize again if only to break the silence but was halted midway when Fluttershy loudly cleared her throat.

“Um,” she bit her bottom lip, worriedly glancing over William and drawing his gaze. “I really don't mean to be rude, William, but I think your sister is trying to get your attention.”

“Don't worry, she'll go away if you ignore her,” William stated dryly before adding “Hopefully.”

“Is that a dance?”

“I'm not turning around,” he said firmly and sighed. No doubt was in his mind that Eris would want details. Maybe without the weight on his shoulders it would be just a bit easier. Then he quickly stamped that thought.

“I can't tell if she's distressed or excited...” she added after a few seconds. She tried to keep staring at Eris but William only reached out and grasped her by the face and softly but firmly forced her gaze back down to him, though she kept awkwardly peeking up. William did not know what she was doing behind his back, and he was equal parts disgruntled and reluctant to find out. “Should I...?”

“We were finally getting somewhere, I am quite serious about this Miss Fluttershy if you cave in she will never stop. Take it from me.”

“If you say so, but, I mean, she looks very-” Fluttershy started before sucking in a shocked gasp; her eyes widened and her jaw dropped, her cheeks further blossomed in color so much that William almost couldn't tell where his hooves were on her face anymore. “O-oh! Oh my word no, those are some very impolite gestures!”

0-0-0-0-0

He could hear a ticking of a silent clock coming from somewhere.

And from nowhere, he could hear the falling sands of time.

Yet another one, and another after that. With the right know how, they fell easily. He made sure to hide this one properly, stuffing the legs close to the body and using a flick of magic to lock the door behind him before slipping into the darkness that drew him deeper down the corridor.

This time, he was prepared.

He could hear them even now, the sweat dripping from his palms and down the handle he so tightly gripped, hardly daring to breathe as he crept like a thief in the night.

“Yea,” the boy that wasn't whispered softly, not bothering to brush the locks of slightly sooty hair from his eyes as another torch was snuffed silently out. “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.”

BUT THEY WILL.

0-0-0-0-0

A Few Words

0-0-0-0-0

“It's about time,” Eris threw up her arms in irritation, blowing out her cheeks. William only shook his head as he approached her, casting one last forlorn look back at Fluttershy, who gave him an encouraging wave before leaving and returning to her business with Applejack. He glanced up at the draconequus with an even stare, lips locked tightly in a firm grimace.

“... What?” she shifted her posture, leaning back on her heels.

“Really, Eris?” William tried not to let his aggravation show. “We were having a moment.”

“Uh, yeah, I could see that,” Eris's brows furrowed. “You were getting all googly eyed for a minute there.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” he shot back defensively, following as she trailed past a couple of heavily decorated ponies deep in discussion; she plucked the drink straight out of the stallion's hoof as he was talking and took a heavy swig and threw the goblet over her shoulder before he even realized it, his disgruntled scoff totally ignored by them both. A scrambling maid dipped in and out of the wealthy ponies, black and white dressed servants slipping silently through to supply drinks and appetizers to those that hardly recognized their presence at all. Eris didn't even recognize any of these maids.

“Face it, bro...” Eris cast a casual look over her shoulder back at him. He was baffled at her behavior, and equal parts angered. “You gotta come with me and mingle with the singles. Have a few words with people. If I hadn't stepped in, things would have gotten awkward.”
“Things were already awkward!” William seethed openly at this point, shuffling forward clumsily and swiftly to keep pace with her long strides. “For crying out loud Eris, I told you specifically-”

He bit his tongue as he realized that Eris had been deliberately drawing them both away from the ponies and toward the group of huddled griffons standing silently away from the crowds, eagle eyed stares locked onto them like a hungry owl watching an oblivious mouse. Each and every one of them looked to be hiding something close to their bodies, and it took very little observation to discover that they were concealing some form of weaponry, and he stayed wary. The lumps on the cloaks looked too small to be spears or swords, and too large to be simple hand weapons, leading him to the assumption that it would be something more dangerous than he was willing to fight with. William suddenly found it hard to swallow again but forced himself to anyway, emboldened by Eris's blatant disregard for their steely gazes. Their dark emblazoned coats glistened with embroidered precious metals, and William briefly recalled the gaudiness of the Griffonian royal guard, but saw no sign of the emperor himself; furthermore, Eris was not headed toward the cloaked and stalwart watching guard, but rather to a single standing pale feathered griffon distanced from the group. The straggler seemed relatively disinterested in both the Griffonian watch and the ponies' boisterous activities, leaning uncomfortably against a stone wall and looking more like he had a beak full of sour grapes than anything.

At least, until he noticed Eris.

And something in William began to grow very, very intense.

He did not wear the same royal purple cloak as the guard, nor the same darkened iron. Wintery feathers peeked from beneath a silvery cloth material that seemed neither sturdy nor fluid, but some mixture of the two that for some reason repeatedly drew William's curiosity. He was quite tall for a griffon; at full height he could have been almost as tall as Eris, were he standing properly. His own cloak was loosely thrown over his shoulders like it had been casually tossed on in a hurry, a much lighter shade of violet with the same sigil of the Griffonian empire, decorated in glistering opulent displays of lavishness only to be completely pushed aside for his wings to stretch more comfortably. These, too, William payed close attention to. The pale griffon's wings stiffened considerably as Eris approached, a slow, confident grin spreading over his beak.

William was deeply bothered by the fact that his beak could even do that.

“Well, well, well,” William was surprised at the sound of his voice, like a crackling bonfire bursting to life. “And here I thought there were only ponies in this land. Call me surprised.”

“Hello, Surprised,” Eris responded with a smirk of her own in the same Griffonian language, earning a shocked look from the griffon, which quickly morphed into one of utmost delight. William's ears felt terribly itchy at the at the exchange, like he were hearing too many things at once, and a slight pressure began to form in his temples, but he understood the conversation perfectly regardless. He wondered if this was also a result of Discord's 'tampering', and tucked it away in a mental folder to bring up later.

“What is to be bringing you here?” the griffon's language shifted, his thick tongue accentuated with each punctuation. “I was to be, eh, believe that your kindness was gone.”

“I just figured I'd see what all the fuss was about,” Eris replied casually, either choosing to ignore his broken Equish or oblivious to it. “I'm Eris, by the way,” she stuck out a paw with a congenial grin, and that odd, fiery burst gnawed its way back into William's chest as the Griffon tilted his head before eagerly shaking it with a matching smile.

“I am pleasuring you to meeting,” he continued, holding her paw in his claws for much longer than William would have liked before pulling away and drawing himself up. “Of course,” he shifted language fluidly, “I am sure you already know of me.”

“Sorry, Big Bird,” Eris stuck her hands on her hips calmly. “Haven't been to Sesame Street in a while, I've got no clue who you are.”

The pale feathered griffon only stared at her for the longest time with sharp, golden eyes before eventually turning to William, as if he had just realized that he was there.

“Forgive my ignorance, but is there something I am missing?” he asked William with a hint of uncertainty. William desperately wanted to reply in the same language and tried to respond similarly, hoping that the same strange language barrier shattering magic that had been used on him would help him speak – unfortunately, despite his efforts, it did not have the effect that he wanted.

The griffon wound up staring even longer as the little pink pony before him looked to be trying not to be sick and gargling nothing for several moments before freezing up and flushing in embarrassment.

“... Father was right,” William heard him mumble just loudly enough to hear. “They are all utterly mad.”

“I'm right here you know,” Eris snorted loudly, making him jolt self consciously. “But you are right.”

“I apologize,” William cleared his throat immediately, forcing himself to stand at his full height, which did very little. “I... had a seizure.”

“A... seizure,” the griffon repeated slowly.

“Yes,” William stated firmly. “Happens quite often, nothing to worry about. My name is William,” he held out a hoof, locking eyes with the griffon and silently daring him to look at Eris again. “William Klaskovsky.”

“I am pleasuring you to meeting,” he said yet again as he shook William's hoof, though not nearly with the same vigor that he did Eris. Still, his grip was like steel, and William felt an immediate, striking, almost painful disconnect when he tried to use his fingers to squeeze his talons back. A deep ache in his heart stung him, but he pushed it right back down and focused only on the burning intensity that held his attention, focusing entirely on the cloaked figure before him.

“Actually,” William felt a little more comfortable standing on all four hooves as he was released, “Pleasuring someone is a completely different matter and used for very different conversations. A greeting is more frequently used as 'I am pleased to meet you', or 'My pleasure'.”

The griffon only stared at him.

And stared.

“... Dude,” Eris blinked and her eyes narrowed slightly. “Come on. Don't 'um, actually' somebody, man.”

“Eh. My thanking of you,” he uttered in Equish evenly, bowing his head ever so slightly without ever once dropping his golden gaze from William's eyes. “I assure, I shall be... remembering.”

A slow shiver began to ripple up William's spine, and he locked his legs firmly and met his gaze.

“I don't believe that I caught your name,” William continued quietly, doing his best to look casual and wishing that Eris had never dragged him over here.

“Oh!” he perked up promptly, readjusting his wings and smiling once again. “Apologize me,” he really did look a little sorry, “I am used to being knowing. Is quite strange.”

“Yeah,” Eris stretched her arms above her head, which the griffon watched so closely that William could not help but take note. “Feels like everything's been strange lately. Just the way I like it.”

“I am please-ed to meet you,” he restated William's words in his heavy accent. “You will be calling me Dukh.”

“Well, it certainly is an... experience to meet you, mister Dukh,” William tilted his head toward him ever so slowly, earning an odd look from the griffon. He shifted his wings closer to his body before turning his head back to Eris, his beak tightened slightly.

“Does your pony escort always look so angry?” Dukh looked inquisitively between the two.

“For the record,” William let out a huff through his nostrils. “I am her brother, not her escort.”

Dukh's thin eyebrows shot up in surprise, almost right up into his pale feather dusting his head.

“I did not know that you also spoke Griffonian,” he looked relatively pleased more than anything.

“I don't,” William replied dryly.

“How very odd,” Dukh scratched his chin with a single razor sharp looking talon, shimmering stare growing more and more interested the longer that he looked between them both. “I was warned of your Equestrian monsters demons, your dangers and nightmares, your terrible wicked Chaos draconequus god...” his gaze lingered up and down Eris once more, eyes narrowing ever so slowly, and William had to physically restrain himself due to the unexpectedly and unwanted violent impulse that roared in his belly. “I was not told of Equestria's rare beautiful flowers.”

“That's the thing about rare and beautiful flowers...” Eris said in a low tone with a small, dangerous grin, eyes shining like diamonds under a light, her flawless Griffonian burning William's eardrums and making his head pound so furiously that it was making it difficult to think clearly. “Sometimes the prettiest ones are the most deadly.”

The cloaked griffon was not put off at all by her words. He didn't seem perturbed in the slightest. He only looked more eager and downright excited from her statement.

It made William supremely uncomfortable.

“I like her,” Dukh turned to William with a wide grin.

“Of course you do,” William said quietly. He quickly tried to change the conversation, hoping to distract his attention away from Eris. “So, why aren't you out there with the others?” he nodded back to the crowd of ponies, conversing and drinking and dancing to the stifled music.

“With ponies?” Dukh looked at him with what might have been confusion mingled disdain. “Eh. That is not done.”

“Why not?” Eris raised an eyebrow.

“Because is not,” he said simply, as if it were obvious. He was clearly getting uncomfortable, and William intended to use that to his advantage. Before he could, however, the griffon bristled his feathers and stood a little to the side, pulling at his cloak to keep it off his wings.

“You don't dress like the others,” William pressed a little more. He cast a look back at the Griffonian guard, who were indeed watching them both with such an utmost withering intensity that William was a little surprised their combined glowers hadn't burned holes in them both. He turned coolly back to Dukh, who was once again giving a longing look out at something over the crowd before giving William his full attention. “You also don't carry a weapon like they do.”

“Ah,” he nodded once, and William noted instantly just how stiff Eris had become at the mention of a weapon, as if she hadn't even noticed until he'd mentioned it. “You are to be realizing. No,” Dukh shook his head. “I am not to be liking. Trained in Claw Maga,” he bragged openly. “Talon to talon combat much more satisfying.”

He doesn't like crossbows.

“Because you don't like crossbows,” William stared him down. Dukh's golden eyes narrowed to dangerous slits within a bare moment, his entire body freezing as he met his gaze with pursed beak.

“... I am not recalling mentioning,” he said in a low tone, his crackling voice once more sounding like a spark of a wildfire ready to engulf an entire forest with barely concealed fury, only held back by the cloaked griffon.

“You didn't,” William thought quickly. “I noticed the others hiding something and made an educated guess. Griffonian technology has advanced considerably recently, hasn't it?”

Dukh stared uneasily at William before sidling away, like he were standing before a perched viper ready to strike at unwary prey. The griffon looked to Eris as if for help, uncertainty plain on his features.

“You are saying this... this is your brother?” Dukh asked quietly in Griffonian, his wings slowly drawing tightly to his side. “I was told the Chaos god was the last draconequus. So, are you...?”

“I'm a lot of things,” Eris responded calmly, crossing her arms and giving him a simple smile, throwing off both him and William. She didn't have nearly the same demeanor as before, and William noted it immediately. She was standing much more guardedly, like she was prepared for something. It made him worry for her, and he didn't know quite why.

“We're not related,” William attempted to clear things up at least a little bit. Dukh didn't seem to understand any more than he did before though. “We are both children of Discord.”

Dukh pursed his beak yet again and nodded silently, just once, before looking between the two.

“I am to be seeing,” he struggled in Equish. “Eh. Apologize me. In Griffonia, we are having none of your... gods.”

“Don't worry about it dude,” Eris shrugged. The easy grin was starting to creep back onto her face. “I would have turned you into a rubber chicken or something,” she said jokingly, making Dukh flinch openly, “But I changed my mind. You're lucky you're cute.”

“Wait, what-” William blurted.

“Is true,” Dukh scratched his chin again. “Am quite handsome. Runs in family. Eh. Mostly.”

“So, you know kung fu too?” Eris asked conversationally, leaning against the wall with her shoulder and letting her tail swing freely. William swallowed dryly and tried not to be distracted by the fuzzy tip swaying back and forth near his head.

“I am, eh, not knowing of this,” Dukh scratched the top of his feathered head with a couple of talons, pushing his cape to the side again uncomfortably. “But am trained in talon to talon combat, yes.”

“Is that why you don't carry a crossbow?” William inquired.

“Is not griffon,” Dukh snorted in blatant disgust. He blanched back from the griffon in mild surprise, not expecting such an outburst. The griffon caught himself and straightened up, clearly still looking frustrated.

“Is not griffon,” Dukh said again in a low, fierce tone. “Am to being told that such thing is 'progress', is 'advancement'. Blyad', I will not be submitting to such!” he stamped the floor, brows furrowed. “Is too simple, too eh, machine – where is griffon is machine, tell me! Where is soul in fight? Is none,” he grumbled, a pinkish tinge coloring his pale feathered cheeks. “Is cheat, and griffon, real griffon is not cheat. Real griffon is strong, real griffon is PROUD,” he thumped his chest, head high. “And Dukh is no cheat. Any battle to be fought is to be fought like griffon, with talon and blood and sweat, da?”

“... Wow,” Eris blinked simply. “You're really passionate about this, huh?”

Instead of responding, Dukh only self consciously rubbed the back of his neck, giving her a sheepish look before returning to his proud stance, although still slightly flushed.

“Da,” he said finally. “Am, eh, not custom to company of 'god'. Got carried away.”

“Speaking of which...” William interjected, looking up to Eris purposefully. “Eris, there's someone that we need to have a few words with.”

“... Yeah,” she sighed and looked away into nothing, crossing her arms again, jaw clenched tightly. “Yeah. We need to have a talk.”

“Well, I am hoping to not be interrupting,” Dukh bowed away a little respectfully. “Was very pleasuring to be meeting you both, Eris of Chaos and Klaskovsky of William.”

“Close enough” William answered with a tiny smile, offering a hoofshake one last time, which the griffon returned powerfully. “It was very nice meeting you too, mister Dukh. But you get one warning,” he added under his breath so that only the griffon could hear. “Hurt my sister and I shall return the injury tenfold.”

“Is good defending instinct,” Dukh chortled equally quietly. “Am starting to be liking you as well.”

Dukh stood and bowed to Eris, his eyes on her the entire time.

“My pleasure.”

“Likewise, dude,” Eris leaned on William's shoulder and caused him to slump immediately, his disgruntled anger plain on his face as the griffon shook her paw again much more eagerly. “Hope we can hang out again soon.”

“Will be of certainty,” Dukh chuckled. “No doubting Father will be forcing me to be politicking yet again. Will be many meetings.”

“Father?” Eris got off of William as he pushed her off, nearly tumbling to the floor from the lack of her weight.

“Da,” Dukh nodded once, rolling the cloak over his wings and heading off toward the guard, who swiftly gathered in unison. “Next meeting might not be as pleasing. Father Gestalt is quite strict.”

William stared after the pale feathered griffon as the royal Griffonian guard trailed in a defensive position around him.

“... I feel like I've heard that name somewhere before,” Eris rubbed her lower back, leaning on her heels as she did so.

“That's because we have,” William suddenly found it hard to swallow again, the music of the party feeling much too loud and only accentuating his already mysteriously pounding headache. “Gestalt. The leader of the Griffonian empire. And we just met the damned prince.”

“... Dammit he's cute.”

“Eris!”

“What?”
“Eris!”

“What?!”

William let out a huff through his nostrils, his face feeling weirdly hot. He puffed out his chest and stood his ground, glaring at her hard.

“... Oh my god, you're jealous.”

“I'm not jealous, Eris.”

“You're jealous.”

“I'm not jealous!”

“Are too.”

“Are not!”

“Are too-!”

“Can we please just go do something else?” William threw up a hoof and tried to stomp away, but with only three hooves only wound up stumbling and almost fell over. He felt so awkward, so clumsy, so unstable that it infuriated him constantly. He tried to suppress the boiling impulse, taking in several deep, shaky breaths before finally turning to Eris, who was only staring at him with the most aggravating sort of smug smirk.

“... Let's just go find Father,” William muttered sullenly, turning away from her.

“A'ight,” she rolled her shoulders, strolling easily beside him. He noticed that she wasn't going at her regular stride and instead decided to match his slower pace, and was confounded as to why she would do so. He wound up thinking about it much longer than he intended. William wasn't even certain of where he was going, only that they were going away from the crowd of ponies and keeping along the stone wall, and he was fine with that.

William gazed around at the crowd, wondering exactly what he was supposed to do now. He wanted to head out on his own, he knew the castle well enough from his time spent in service to the princess. But on the other hand – or hoof – he had no idea of where Discord might be. He wanted to see him, and urgently. He had so many questions, so many things to ask, so many desperate wants that only he could supply, and the intense fear that maybe he couldn't find him on his own rose up rapidly in him. It became much harder to breathe for some reason, no matter how hard he tried it was more difficult, his breathing growing more shallow and unsteady as his heartbeat slammed fearfully in his chest.

He didn't even realize that he'd been standing in the same spot clutching his chest wide eyed until Eris's paw rested on his shoulder.

“... Dude?” Eris asked in an unexpectedly soft tone.

“It's fine,” William forced himself to stand immediately, feeling ashamed. “Must have been the drinks. I'm too small for cider, Eris.”

“... Yeah,” she responded, clearly disbelievingly, but grew quiet. “Hey,” Eris cleared her throat and added a bit louder. “I can see Princess light bulb butt over there. Hey!” she held a paw over her eyes and squinted with a grin. “I can see my house from here too!”

She turned to William for acknowledgment, who only stared at her blankly. Her smile drooped slightly before it was pulled back up, and her bouncy demeanor returned in an instant.

“Come on, dude!” she threw her head towards the alabaster alicorn across the hall, who looked preoccupied greeting a multitude of ponies lined up just to meet her. “I'm pretty sure she knows where dad's at. We'll go ask Sunny D, and then we can get away from all this lame ass square dance shit. Sound good?”

“Actually,” William was watching one of the maids traverse away from a mare standing in one of the tall darkened entrances. “Why don't you go on ahead, Eris?”

“Okay?” Eris asked skeptically, shifting weight to her cloven hoof. “And why is that?”

“There's... there's one more person that I'd like to speak to, actually.”

“I see.”

“I'll only be a moment,” he looked up at her with a strange look in his almond eyes. Like there was something horribly wrong, like Eris was supposed to see something, and she wasn't quite catching it. “Just for a minute, Eris. I promise.”

“... Alright, man,” she rubbed the back of her neck. “You wanna-”

“No.” he shook himself immediately and started off. “I'll be back soon.”

Eris only stared, unprepared for the sudden burst of insistence from him. He didn't even look back. Eris sighed quietly and shook her head, turning instead for the princess. The mare in the dark just watched them both.

0-0-0-0-0

William really wasn't prepared for this.

He'd already been through too much for one day. He was physically and emotionally exhausted, he wanted to call it a night, leave early and just go home. Or rather, go back to Miss Lyra's house, curl up next to Eris and pretend that everything was going to be okay.

Was this really his life now?

Just pretending that things were okay?

William pondered this as he stared up at the mare, her vibrant yellow eyes looking him up and down as if he were being appraised. The Cutie Mark on her flank of a looping ribbon stood out even in the shadows of the hall, the flickering light of the extra brightened hall casting long shadows over them like the dark itself were trying to creep over them.

And still she stared.

“... Hello,” William began a bit lamely.

“Good evening,” the mare responded in a clipped, even tone. Her sharp gaze left one of the maids that was desperately trying to keep up without dropping a tray of drinks, turning instead to completely face William. He stared back, unblinking the entire time, his face utterly blank of expression.

She shifted after a while, eyes narrowing a bit.

“... Are you just going to stare at me?” she craned her neck a bit.

“It's been a while,” he said quietly. “Hasn't it...?”

“And you are?” Trimming frowned slightly.

“Of course, you wouldn't remember,” William laughed softly, utterly devoid of any form of humor. “No. No, I suppose you wouldn't.”

“Look,” she said firmly, speaking through her teeth, “You're cute and all, and I'd love to play with you, but I'm busy right now. Go be a good colt and sit with your mommy before something happens.”

“I really would like to have a few words with you if you have the time, Miss Trimming.”

The mare paused, tensing briefly.

“It would seem my reputation precedes me,” Trimming said with a slight tilt of her head, staring him down. Her yellow eyes met his, and for a second, for just the briefest of moments, she stopped.

This colt, this frail little pink thing...

There was something wrong with his eyes.

“Your work ethic could use a bit of upkeep, really,” William inspected the bottom of his hoof as if it were far more interesting. Trimming didn't speak at first, instead standing before the colt in utter silence. “To be honest, I think you really could do better. I believe that you could, if given the chance.”

Trimming stood still as stone for the longest time, watching him.

Just watching.

William felt a chill, a cold, bitter fear shiver through him from that look, a familiar discomfort that he did not want to recognize.

And when she spoke, William could not bring himself to answer.

0-0-0-0-0

“Fuckin'-” Eris grumbled loudly as a pony with rather excessively decorated pants was pushed by her, his exclamation ignored. “Jesus Vishnu Christ, can I get through please? I mean, fuck, excuse you,” she slipped through a couple of mares in what appeared to be diamond crusted dresses who both disdainfully cast some explicit names at her for her presence. Where did they even get the jewels for those? They must have been unimaginably expensive. Too bad Eris 'accidentally' spilled a goblet full of cider on them both.

“Finally,” Eris released a sigh of relief as she got through the crowd, walking right past the line of ponies indignant at her refusal to wait, heading straight for the princess awaiting at the end of the red carpet in the middle of the hall. The wafting music grew louder as she approached, and she recognized the purple unicorn beside the princess right away. Twilight Sparkle, for lack of a better word, looked like crap.

Her mane was a mess, her eyes were red and puffy as if she had been crying, and she looked downright panicked as Eris approached, shifting from hoof to hoof as she spoke to the princess. Celestia turned her head to her student with her wing stretching out to cover them, and when she pulled back Twilight looked significantly more flushed, but also more calm. Eris had several questions that did not get answers as the unicorn bolted to the side, head held high as if she were off on some mission of highest importance. At least, that was her guess. Eris only shook her head as she approached the princess, who was wearily repeating greetings to ponies eager to meet her.

“Dude,” Eris said at last. “Where's my dad at?”

“Right to the point then,” Celestia said calmly, her multi-hued mane blowing in a non existent breeze. “If you'll excuse me for a moment,” she said to the tan pegasus awaiting greeting, who looked faintly disappointed, “I must attend to royal matters.”

There was a loud rumble of disparagement from the line, which only served to cause the steam in Eris's belly to fume up further.

“Oh, grumble it up!” she scowled at them, crossing her arms tightly across her chest before turning swiftly to the princess. “Just tell me where he is. I'll take care of the rest.”

Celestia looked at Eris for a long, long moment. Eris half expected her to match her frustration, but the princess only gave her a steady, even, almost sad look that made the pinching anger in her slowly dwindle away. Eris couldn't hang onto it for long, but still kept her gaze locked onto her tightly.

“Discord is... resting,” she responded carefully. “I do not know if it would be wise for him to be receiving visitors currently.”

“Bullshit,” Eris stated plainly. “Room?”

Celestia gave her the same look and finally shook her head a couple of times. It took Eris a second to realize that she was silently laughing.

“Second floor,” Celestia said at last. “Where the peace treaty with Griffonia will be held.”

“Peace treaty?” Eris blinked.

“Discord wished to be present,” she answered quietly, bringing her wing up as Eris drew in a little closer, feeling very inspected by all of the surrounding ponies. “Insisted rather firmly, actually. When he sets his mind to something, it is quite difficult to alter his course.”

“Yeah, you're tellin' me,” Eris rubbed the back of her neck. “So... thanks for telling me.”

“Please take care,” Celestia added in an unanticipated gentle tone. Eris wasn't sure how to respond to that. “Discord has not quite been... himself as of late.”

“Don't worry, my royal dude,” Eris straightened up with a determined grin and renewed vigor. “Doesn't matter what it is, I've got it covered.”

“Well, you certainly are confident,” Celestia tittered lightly. Eris felt her own smile widen despite herself.

She started to look around for William to inform him of the good news, peering intently for him over the crowds as the line of varied rich folk argued with each other. She ignored them all, searching hard for the pink colt with a white tuft of mane. It took a while but she finally spotted him and she perked up beside the princess, hoping that if she shouted loud enough over the crowd he might hear. There, in the dark spot just almost out of sight, in the tall dark entrance where the maids scurried in and out, she saw him.

And she saw that mare, too.

Trimming.

Eris could see William speaking to her, but couldn't make out what was being said with his back to her. She desperately squeezed her eyes, straining to read Trimming's lips, but she had a habit of speaking through her teeth, from what she remembered. William seemed so calm. For just a little while. Like he was talking to an old friend.

And then she leaned down, and said something to him. Just a little thing that must have taken only a moment; and whatever it was must have been something that should not have been heard.

Eris watched William break.

What was once a small but tall standing colt completely and utterly shut down within a matter of seconds, legs crumpling and head drooping. Eris felt her heart sink at the sight, like she could feel his pain too, and she clutched a paw to her chest in horror. He shouldn't be like that. Eris was supposed to do what she promised, and she let him go off on his own, and this was the result.

Trimming.

It wasn't just that she was awful.

It wasn't just that look that she gave as she stared down at the colt who could not even bring himself to look up.

She hurt William.

Eris' fist clenched so tightly that she began to lose feeling in her fingertips, her knuckles cracking with barely constrained, utter rage. The only thought that went through Eris' head that echoed grew louder and louder the more her fury grew. She was taking her down.

Trimming didn't seem to notice her. Celestia, still busy with greeting ponies, hadn't noticed either. But Eris did. She wanted to snap her talons and inflict a terrible suffering. She wanted to stomp over and punch her right in her stupid face for hurting her brother. But that wouldn't be enough. She had to take her down. And she would do it, too. Eris thought long and hard as she stood before it finally clicked while she watched the the green eared maids, worriedly scurrying this way and that. And when it sank in, it hit hard.

This bitch was going down. Eris didn't need to punch the mare to make a point.

She'd do it with just five words.

Celestia respectfully greeted a brightly colored unicorn couple garbed in what looked like peacock feathered dresses, welcoming them to the castle before Eris drifted over to her side. Celestia glanced calmly up to Eris to give her attention before the draconequus simply nodded toward the head maid, who was in the process of leaving a small colt in one of the entrances, slowly, carefully, gradually leaned down and whispered in the princess' ear.

“... Awfully high turnover rate, huh.”

And Eris stood up straight, rolled her shoulders and walked away towards the shivering pink colt. Her job was done. The seed was planted. And she was going to enjoy watching it take root.

And take root it did. Miss Trimming was so very good at her job. Celestia suddenly became much, much more aware of just how many maids there were, and began to wonder precisely why absolutely none of them seemed to stay very long.

Celestia sighed inwardly, forcing herself to smile and continue greeting impatient self important ponies demanding a greeting with her, just a few simple hellos and how do you dos, over and over, pretending that she wasn't deeply bothered by all the invisible weight on her shoulders.

Come to think of it, maids did seem to come and go awfully frequently. But what did that matter? Perhaps they wanted to find different employment.

All of the ponies that were hired by Celestia were well paid, certainly, but something didn't quite add up.

In all of the years that Trimming had worked for Celestia, there had always been maids. Always younglings.

None of them lasted more than a year.

Come to think of it, Celestia didn't recall a single one of them that had been hired having a family to speak of. Ragamuffins and street urchins hired frequently, very frequently.

So where are they...?

Celestia released another inward sigh as she plastered on another plastic smile while shaking hooves with waiting ponies, her gaze drifting occasionally to the head maid, many things becoming much clearer. Her heart ached deeply, and oh how she hated the familiar feeling.

It seemed it was time yet again to tend to the garden.

0-0-0-0-0

Bad Company

0-0-0-0-0

The slow, steady rumble of thunder lulled heavily above, clashing storms roaring ephemeral hungry and indecipherable exclamations throughout the sky. He could feel deep tumbling clash of each thunder strike, he knew it on some level. But for some reason, everything felt quite... dulled.

William didn't know how long he simply stood in place, staring down at the spot between his hooves.

Sometimes, he didn't even know why he bothered.

He didn't see the looming shadow in the darkness of the entry hall, nor even hear her approach, but he could still feel her nearby regardless. The empty, gnawing pit in the bottom of his stomach didn't seem to stop. He let out a silent sigh through his nostrils, forcibly, slowly, gradually drawing his head upward, tired eyes meeting hers for the briefest of moments.

“A'ight, dude,” Eris stated firmly, arms crossed over her chest. “What the fuck happened.”

“Always so eloquent, sister dearest,” William responded with an empty, plastic little smile. She could see it plainly even though he was trying so hard to appear normal, and the longer that she observed him the clearer it became. The tiny false look of forcefully upturned lips, the expressionless, hollow almond eyes just a shade off from normal staring back at her, even the way that his little ears drooped just a bit, altogether like he was fighting just to hold himself up. The sight left her feeling as though she had been struck in the heart, and the fuming rage for that mare had her seething, but once again she just couldn't quite seem to cling to that anger the longer she looked down at him.

“... Is everything alright, Eris?”

“Will,” she exhaled through her nostrils. “Don't make me repeat myself. What. Happened.”

“Nothing,” he continued with that plastered on look. “Everything is fine.”

“Bullshit,” Eris's crimson eyes narrowed. “I let you go by yourself for ten seconds and everything goes wrong. I saw her say something to you,” and at this William visibly tightened ever so slightly. “She probably doesn't even remember us, dude. That bitch is nothing but trouble. You never look like that, so what –“

“Drop it.”

Irritation sparked in her further, and her knuckles began to ache from how tightly she was squeezing her fists. She wanted to push more, she wanted to outright reprimand him for thinking that she was just going to let it go after seeing him so obviously in distress; and that look, that awful look in his eyes set something off. Something wrong, and no matter how hard she tried to press onward, something about that stare shut down her impulse. The fact that she couldn't quite place her finger on what exactly that was just made her even more uneasy.

She sighed and finally rubbed her face with her mismatched hands, letting a paw run down her face until she dropped her arms to her side, limp and slouching.

“... You know I care about you, right?”

“I-” William started as his eyebrows rose just a bit. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, glancing away before returning to a more upright position. “I care about you too, Eris.”

“So you know that I'm not trying to be a douche,” her talons slid to her thigh as she shifted her weight, his tense gaze following her movements very closely. “But you can't just tell me to, like, drop it and expect me to quit caring. You don't wanna talk about it?” Eris leaned on her heels again, tail twitching behind her like an off beat clock. “Fine. But remember that whatever she said to you is bullshit, and you're full of it too if you think I'm not gonna be watching your back like a freakin' hawk.”

William started to respond, his wide eyes shifting over her face like he was searching desperately for something that he couldn't quite find. He spoke; or at least, tried to. His mouth opened and closed several times in rapid succession before he finally pursed his lips, swallowing hard. When he finally did manage to bring himself to speak, it came out cracked and low, his head dipping, voice so coarse that if Eris hadn't been standing so close she wouldn't have heard him at all.

“... Thank you, Eris.”

Her response was cut short when she felt the sudden pressure of his forehead against her stomach, likely the highest that he could reach without standing on his back hooves, and even then it was blatant that he was stretching as much as he could to carefully push against her. Eris's heart twinged as she let out another sigh through her snout, ever so quietly slipping her asymmetrical hands behind his head and gently pulling him closer to hug him. It struck her even harder then, that powerful feeling in her chest. If there was ever any form of contact, William was almost never the one to initiate it. There was trust in every muscle as he squeezed her as tightly as his little hooves would allow, and although she had questions firing one after another in her head a couple of things finally began to click together.

“I've got your back, too,” William pulled away eventually, inconspicuously rubbing his damp eyes with the crook of his foreleg, sniffling and clearing his throat quickly. But Eris still saw the tiny, relieved smile – a real, genuine sort of happiness that lingered for only the barest of moments, but it rang inside her with an echoing warmth that blossomed on her own sparkling grin.

She found herself wanting very much to be the cause of that look again.

“C'mon, my dude,” Eris cracked her back as he stepped away, her relaxed posture even starting to spread to him a little. “Let's go find Dad and split. They didn't even bring pizza to this shitshow, can you believe it?”

“A piping slice of unhealthy pie does sound lovely right about now,” William agreed genially as he followed and walked with her, making their way down the darkened hall and away from the blustering light and noise. He wasn't even certain of where they were headed, but at this point, he didn't really care. It was leaving the party, and it was with Eris. Nothing else seemed to be very high on his list at that moment.

“Aw, dude, totes. Extra grease on mine,” she let out a longing sigh. “Swear to god if I finally get one that's made with hay I might actually slap someone.”

William let out a little titter as he trotted alongside her, the congenial, warming smile growing an almost unnoticeable bit. Almost.

“I find it strange just how much I miss meat products,” he thought aloud as more of the torch lit columns grew in number the closer they drew to one of the many circular stairwells. “Considering this particular body, and how consistently I've maintained a relatively vegetarian diet, I would think that the attraction to such things would have faded by now.”

Eris leaned on the banister with a cocked eyebrow, staring as he awkwardly climbed the stairs next to her.

“Yeah, that is kinda weird,” she rubbed her chin with a singe talon. “I mean, horses don't exactly eat a lot of steak.”

“It's this wretched new body that's the problem...” William grumbled, brows furrowing tightly. “I mean, I think I understand what Father was attempting, swapping us around to fool that 'Council' – but leaving Neil in my – my – actual body while I get stuck in this facsimile of a preexisting pony seems more than a tad insane.”

“Have you met Dad?” Eris snorted as she helped him climb a particularly tall step. “He doesn't do anything normally. It's great.”

“I disagree,” his eternal scowl returned with a vengeance. “Or perhaps it's all just some elaborate practical joke, and I'm the punchline. Regardless,” they reached the top of the stairs, a much more brightly lit purview of candle sconces and torches along the pillared hall greeting them with the sight of armored stallions patrolling vigilantly. “I intend to bring this up with Father post haste. This needs to be rectified. I miss having hands, Eris.”

“I dunno...” she said jokingly and turned to walk backwards, her tail swishing like a guiding sort of rudder. “Pink is a real good color on you. Pretty cute.”

“I am not cute!”

William's cheeks reddened considerably before he cleared his throat, not realizing how much he'd raised his voice. Eris's grin only widened gleefully and he dodged the looks from the mildly surprised golden armored guards, firm frown etched onto his face.

“I'm not cute,” he seethed openly. Much more quietly, but still transparently frustrated.

“I disagree,” she winked as she swiveled gracefully on one cloven hoof, continuing to guide him onward.

“I just-” he started and promptly stopped himself, letting out a frustrated sigh through his teeth. “You aggravate me. This aggravates me,” he cast a hoof down at himself and almost tripping again, looking even more flustered. “Eris, please understand, I – hate – this. I hate it so much. I don't want to be some-some copy of a colt I've never even seen, if Father was even being honest about that,” William's expression shifted from that of intense irritation to something more hollow, weary. The cold, biting bitterness in his tone couldn't have been mistaken for anything else, and it caught Eris a bit off guard, though she was quick to not miss a step. “I'm human. I miss my old body. I don't like this. I don't like change. I just-” he started to wring his hands together before the realization struck hard, like it had been doing ever since, that he didn't have hands anymore. His throat clenched up suddenly and his eyes burned, the flush of shame from recognizing that Eris had stopped dead in her tracks to stare at him only made it worse. It felt like every heartbeat was painful and it became difficult to draw breath, like the air was growing thinner by the moment. Like he could hear some wretched, pained screaming coming from deep within and begging to burst out.

But William did what he did best. What he had trained himself to do, what he could do no matter what type of body he had. He pushed it down.

He pushed it all down, throttled that feeling and drowned it, crushed it back into the dark places, forcibly clearing his mind and shuddering hard as he swallowed the painful lump in his throat. And when he finally looked back up at Eris, he was slightly surprised to see just how thoroughly, utterly disturbed she looked.

“It's fine,” he lied through his teeth, and he didn't even bother with the false smile this time. He knew, he could feel it in his core that Eris could see right through him. He didn't know why that upset him so much, but he pushed that down, too. It could all just go right to the same place for all he cared, so long as he could stay nice and calm, keep the ache in his chest from spreading, ensure that his mind was clear so that he could focus on the task at hand.

At hoof.

The task at hoof.

And that awful clawing feeling started right back up again.

“... He's in here. Or, should be,” Eris said quietly as they approached a large wooden door set in the stone wall. Unimpressive, unguarded, it looked just like all the other doors they had passed, but William still didn't like the look of it. He wanted to take a deep breath, steady himself, brace his spirit for what came next and be utterly prepared.

And of course, Eris gave a single knock and just barged right in, completely disrupting any and all attempts of such.

After all that effort climbing steps, William really shouldn't have been surprised that everything would be going downhill afterwards.

0-0-0-0-0

“Yo!” Eris claimed loudly as she strode confidently into the room, William following close behind. “Dad, we gotta talk-”

William bumped face first into her backside, his words cut off as he immediately jerked backwards, sputtering incoherent indignant half sentences before everything died in his throat. Even Eris stood stunned in silence, the quiet so thick and heavy that it could have been cut with a knife. William could hardly bring himself to breathe, it was difficult to accept what he was seeing as actuality, like his own eyes betrayed him despite the sight before him.

Discord did not look like William remembered him. He didn't particularly look 'recovered' in any sense of the word. In fact, he thought that Discord might have been in better shape when he had been crumpled up on the floor. And bleeding.

And on fire.

“You look like shit,” Eris's dumbfounded stare did not go unnoticed.

“I concur,” William added quietly as the huge door snapped shut behind them. “Perhaps not necessarily in that exact statement, but you have certainly looked better.”

“Gee thanks guys,” Discord responded dryly, his voice coming out in a raspy, low tone. “Nice to know I'm still appreciated for my astounding good looks.”

“What happened?” Eris blurted, staring in shock at the figure before her.

William couldn't necessarily blame her. He couldn't bring himself to blink much either. The draconequus lay with his mismatched hands folded behind his head, that same familiar casual smirk always perched on his lips; but William could see the slight trembling as Discord tried to remain still. Patches of him had either been scorched to a sickly black and ashy gray or burned off completely, revealing blotchy pink blisters and rather painful looking boils similar to severe burn marks littering his upper torso seemingly at random. Even the tip of his tail, which dangled lazily from beneath the sheets covering the lower half of his body, seemed to be worse for the wear, like the end had been set on fire and quickly doused multiple times. A few bandages here and there looked to be both hastily applied and reapplied. A horrible worry gripped his chest and William tried to speak, wanted to express it in motion, and once again couldn't quite bring himself to move.

Finally, after so long, he was here – he was here, in the same room, and William just couldn't bring himself to speak first.

“So how have you kids been?” Discord asked calmly, skirting the question entirely as he turned his head slightly to glance at William, who promptly noticed the bloodshot eyes and heavy bags lingering beneath them. “Been kinda busy lately with chaos-y stuff, you know, no time to slow down-”
“Okay, no,” Eris seethed openly, crossing her arms defiantly. “Dad, why do you look like you had an accident with an easy bake oven?”

“Because I had an accident with an easy bake oven,” Discord grinned, a sharp tooth glinting in the lamplight.

“What the fuck happened?”

“Firstly, language,” he continued as if he hadn't heard her. “Secondly, I have something very important to say.”

They both froze at that, watching as Discord sidled back into the pillows.

“Thirdly,” he held up four talons. “I forgot what the second thing was.”

“D-Father?” William started quietly. Discord grew still for a second, large red eyes locking onto him.

“... Yes?” the draconequus finally gave a little nod of acknowledgment, his smile never waning.

“Are... are you going to be alright?”

And just like that, for some reason, Discord stopped moving. He stopped blinking. He stopped breathing.

He stopped everything.

And then, at last, after an achingly long time, he only laughed.

William's face burned in embarrassment, and he ducked his head slightly. Eris looked between the two, her thin brows furrowed, and she crossed her arms. Discord eventually shook his head, still chuckling to himself.

“You know what?” Discord was positively beaming at this point. “I think everything's gonna be okay.”

William didn't quite know how to respond to that, still shifting uneasily and staring down at his hooves as if he had been caught doing something wrong, even though he still wasn't certain what. But Discord didn't seem to be angry. If anything, he seemed downright pleased.

It made him feel more than a little bit foolish, the chortling draconequus taking pleasure in his confusion. He half expected Eris to be laughing at him, too, and was mildly surprised to see that he was mistaken. She didn't laugh with him. She didn't smile. Eris simply stood there, arms crossed over her chest, fists clenching and unclenching. She wasn't resisting the urge to laugh. She wasn't even looking at Discord, more like looking through him. William wasn't even sure that she was breathing, because she didn't seem to be doing much of that. She was just...

Fuming.

“Discord,” William began as if carefully treading dark waters. “Father. We really have some things that we need to discuss.”

“Agreed,” Eris added quietly, crimson eyes narrowing sharply.

“Well, don't everyone roll out the welcoming red carpet all at once,” Discord rolled his eyes, but seemed to shut down rather quickly when he caught the absolutely venomous look that Eris was giving him. He cleared his throat and sat up a bit more, wincing with the effort. William started to close in but withdrew sharply afterwards, merely standing at attention at his bedside.

“So, is this all part of your 'big plan', too?” Eris didn't move from her stance. “God, dad. You look like death facefucked you with a campfire.”

“That kind of language isn't going to get you ungrounded any sooner!” Discord replied cheerfully. Too much so, William could see it in his face. The restrained, slight trembling of pain that he was keeping back.

“Why all the facades?” he dared to ask at last, and Discord's forced smile faded just a bit. “Please, Father. I – we – need an explanation.”

“I- yeah,” Discord cut himself off, wiping a singed paw down his drooping face. “Yeah. I guess it's about time, huh.”

“Can I even get my actual body back?” William blurted. “What about Neil? What's happening with that Council? Am I really going to turn into some kind of draconequus? What-”

“Okay, okay!” he held up his mismatched hands, eyes widening. “One at a time here, geez.”

William felt a sharp spike of anger, one that he couldn't quite quash. He just wanted to see his father again, he just wanted to speak for a little while, and once again he was being pushed away. He did his best to ignore it, focus only on Discord, who for some reason was giving him a very, very odd look. But it was gone the next moment, the old draconequus closing his bag laden eyes and letting out a long, slow, unsteady breath through his nostrils. When he finally reopened his eyes, he looked just as worn thin and exhausted as before; but the eyes, those crimson orbs burned with something that made William just a hint uneasy.

“I don't know what you're expecting me to say,” Discord wasn't looking at either of them anymore. He just had that lazy little half smile on his lips, the weariness hanging from his drooped shoulders like a weighted shroud.

“What took you so long?” Eris asked quietly. She still hadn't moved from her spot, but William could see from a single glance that her posture had shifted when he wasn't looking. Something about her quiet irritation had faded, replaced with... something else.

“I was real busy,” Discord answered simply, turning that smile to her as well. “Obviously that wasn't the right answer... otherwise you wouldn't be glaring daggers at your old man right now.”

“Why didn't you tell me about the... changes?” William dared to pry, his curiosity beginning to outweigh everything else. “Why wouldn't you tell me that you two were trying to-to... change me?”

“Well I-”

“And without my permission?” he tacked on, the frustration slipping through his tone regardless of his attempt to mask it.

Discord halted his answer like a speeding train hitting a cement wall, his veneer crumbling ever so slightly as he ran a paw down his face. Again came that weary sigh, and he pinched the bridge of his snout as if it were William being the unreasonable one. It left the colt feeling foolish and silently reprimanded all at once, but he stood his ground, awaiting an answer.

“Things weren't supposed to turn out like they did,” Discord struggled, thick brows furrowing slightly. “Things weren't supposed to go cucumber shaped, alright?”

“That doesn't answer my question,” William insisted just a bit harder.

“Chaos magic is... complicated,” he closed his aching eyes again. “Sometimes it's not as easy as just snapping your talons to get what you want.”

“Ain't that the truth,” Eris muttered under her breath, but they could both hear her through the thick silence that followed.

“It wasn't like I was pulling your strings or anything,” Discord held up his mismatched hands with a little chuckle. “I find that doing that starts to make the whole quilt unravel.”
“So... what did you do?” he asked tentatively.

“It... look,” the draconequus finally huffed. “Your body isn't important-”

“I beg to differ!” William blurted indignantly.

“Let me finish!” Discord snapped – actually snapped at him, and William felt all of his bravado shatter in an instant. Discord was a strange one, certainly. Cryptic, bizarre, boisterous.

But he had never, ever yelled at him like that before.

William wanted to contemplate this further, were it not for the shock riddling him.

Discord took in a thin, strained breath, clutching a paw to his chest before forcing a pained grin, easing back into the pillows like nothing had ever happened.

“Just let me finish. 'M-kay?” he was back to almost lounging, but William couldn't forget it now. “It isn't your squishy little human body that's important. In the long run,” he added quickly, noting just how still William had grown. “A body is just a vessel for a consciousness. A collection of organs and appendages for an essence.”

“So... you altered my... my essence?” William braved another attempt at a somewhat clear answer. “My... soul?”

“In a sense, that's how it works,” Eris chimed in. William had almost forgotten she was there from how stiff and silent she had been, between that and his intense focus on the injured draconequus before him. She'd pulled closer to the bed, like Discord's very presence was drawing her in. But her gaze was solely on William. “The body can change and shift, does that all the time. But your soul, your essence,” she held up a single talon. “That's what has the connection to chaos.”

“I don't quite understand.”

“Something I don't quite get either,” Eris continued, her eyes slanting sharply. “Why you thought it was okay to not tell him jack about turning.”

“I thought -” Discord began through clenched teeth before looking at them both long and hard, finally letting out another long, heavy sigh. “I thought we had more time. I was going to tell you, eventually. I really was,” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I just thought that you'd... acclimate a little more easily if... well. Y'know.”

“No,” William felt more lost and confused than ever. “No, I don't know. Please elaborate.”

“A living person's essence is difficult to work with,” Discord, for some reason, began to look very, very uncomfortable, though William couldn't quite parse why. “The closer someone's connection to the element of chaos, the easier it is for a proper draconequus to be... well, hatched.”

William found himself hanging onto his every word, momentarily even forgetting to breathe. But Discord seemed to be enjoying having a rapt audience, even pausing momentarily for what William could only suppose was for dramatic effect, though he felt it would be rude to announce it aloud.

“Ponies have a shoddy connection to what chaos actually is,” Discord explained quietly. “However,” he continued. “Their personal connection to harmony is immense. It helps to balance forces, too. It's where so much of their magic comes from.”

“I thought that magic relied solely on principle of executable intent,” William's mind was abuzz with even more questions than he had before. “It requires a form of focus and energy to implement?”

“Sounds more like unicorn magic than anything,” the elder one nodded once. “That is technically a form of magic, but not my point. Ponies have good intuition for that kind of thing, but not so much for the chaos. Humans, for example, have a much closer connection to chaos,” he added with an intent stare at them both. “But for a draconequus, it's practically second nature.”

“That doesn't really answer why you wanted me to start turning into a draconequus,” William felt at a loss for words, almost desperate, but he refused to show it. “Why not just put my mind, or my essence, or whatever I am, into a draconequus then?”

“Weren't you listening?” he seemed a hint agitated, but his grin grew yet again. “Draconequui aren't exactly common. They aren't born so much as they are made.”

“And you didn't even bother to ask if I wanted to be a draconequus?” William could only blurt, his chest doing that strange twinging again.

“Look, things don't always go as intended, okay?” Discord growled. “I was going to tell you, wasn't I? But things got a little hectic because somebody decided it was a good idea to use chaos powers to cause, you know, mass genocide and time warps!”

William felt silent, head dipped in shame. He could feel Eris tense beside him, and braced himself for the outburst, but none came.

She stayed silent.

Somehow that made him feel worse.

“I just-” Discord started in a much gentler tone, the heaviness clinging to him like a stone around his neck before he sighed again. “... I just wanted you to feel like more of the family.”

“Even though,” Eris seethed openly. “Even though you know what happens when someone turns?”

It was Discord's turn to fall quiet this time. William looked back and forth between the two, something finally clicking.

“... Bad things happen when a draconequus is 'hatched',” his head felt like it was spinning a little as he stared down the burned figure. “That's why there are so few of them here in Equestria.”

“Very bad things,” Eris added quietly. “When you know what happened last time!”

“I had plan nines in place!” Discord shot back defensively. “I had everything covered! At least,” he shifted awkwardly due to his burns. “Until. Well. Y'know.”

“So what's going to happen?” William desperately wanted to sit down. Or maybe curl up under a blanket and never get up. He felt so tired. “Am I still going to... change?”

“You already are,” Discord started to rub his eyes with his knuckles before flinching and hissing. “I mean, there's always going to be some leftover residue from shifting around essences without proper precautions, but I was kinda short on time.”

“What about my actual body?” he pressed on inquisitively. “How do I get it back?”

“Sparklebutt can probably do that,” Discord answered after a moment of thought. “Might take a Tartarus load of energy, but it's not that hard.”

“And then what about Neil?” Eris interrupted. “What exactly are we supposed to do with that?”

“I'll... take care of him later,” Discord let out a little noise. His fists tightened so harshly that his knuckles cracked, seemingly oblivious to the pain it was causing him through the scarring. The air grew thick after that, like it was getting harder to breathe. “I'll make sure of it.”

“So I can get my body back,” William wanted to cry with relief, forcibly stopping himself from rubbing together hands that he didn't have. “Things can go back to normal for a while?”

“Sure,” he nodded in either a relaxed or noncommittal manner, William wasn't sure which. “A big ol' sappy ending for just about everybody. Fun family stuff. I'll fix everything faster than you can snap your fingers,” he added with a sly wink. William didn't even care. He bounced his knees a little, feeling an odd urge that had no particular place to be in him, and could only smile back. An actual little smile. It felt horridly out of place on him, but he didn't care about that either.

Things were going to be normal again.

“Dad.”

Eris didn't have to say anything else. Just a single word was all it took for the lazing draconequus to freeze. Perhaps it was how sharply she said it, the tone, the force in a single word, but William watched the look on his face wash away like a painting dropped in a pond. His calm demeanor returned almost instantaneously, but it was too late. William had seen something in his expression, something that he wasn't entirely certain he was supposed to see.

Something just felt... wrong.

“Hey champ,” he said nonchalantly as he glanced over at Eris, who looked very much not pleased. “You mind if me and Eris here have a little chat?”

“Of course!” William blurted. “I mean, no! I mean, go right ahead,” he stammered, cheeks burning again. He silently berated himself repeatedly before clearing his throat and standing a little taller, emotion draining from his face quickly. He had to look professional after all. “What I mean to say is, I don't mind at all.”

“Neat,” Discord ended simply. He just nodded once toward the door, and after a second William got the message. He drifted past Eris, who was standing still as a statue, her icy gaze never once dropping from the wounded draconequus. She didn't say so much as a word to him as he slipped out the door, though for some reason he found himself hoping that she would. He latched it firmly behind him and let out a shaky breath, his mind blaring with question after question with far too few answers.

And then he was left all alone with his thoughts, and once more found himself in bad company.

0-0-0-0-0

So close now.

The last hour strikes.

Author's Note

Thanks for sticking with this cringefire. Last chapter up... eventually.

Fin.

0-0-0-0-0

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Author's Note

The end.
(This chapter has been brought to you by the Fool of April and the letter '7'.)

Peculiar Prologue

Peculiar Prologue

0-0-0-0-0

Enormous, clockwork golems lumbered over the treetops, the stamping of their enormous steel boots cascading through the earth with an intense strength.

The grinding of their plated gears growled as the towering behemoths trampled everything in their path with their monotone synonymous march. They glinted in the light of a grey sun, and nearly outnumbered the same trees that they ground beneath their heels; and should they continue to do so, they would before long.

Thick, roiling bursts of toxic black smog belched forth from them at every orifice, clouding the sky and spiraling down to the earth when there was no more room in the air. The sun was blotted out as gigantic, clawing ebony fingers splattered from the sky, drenching everything beneath it in a steaming noxious brew.

He could no longer tell if the high pitched whistle was emanating from before him, or if it was the sound of his own screaming. William gazed on in horror at the impending menace, the shadow of the colossal mechanical army looming over him as he gazed back at himself through enormous, crimson glass eyes…

0-0-0-0-0

The twelve year old William Klaskovsky awoke with a start, the sleep obviously still blurring his eyes. He cracked open his eyelids, the vision of enormous red irises still burned into his memory.

At least, until the realization finally hit him that he really was looking into a pair of large, misshapen red irises.

“Nah, Dad was wrong; you really are kind of cute.”

William shrieked in a pitch much higher than he would have preferred, toppling out of bed unceremoniously and into the floor as he tried to scramble away in terror.

The cackling draconequus hanging from the ceiling by the tip of her tail gave him an upside down, lopsided smile, revealing a row of shining white teeth. Her features were much sharper than that of the only other draconequus William had ever known; more elongated, refined. Younger. To be frank, she looked roughly similar to what William could expect a teenage female Discord would look like.

The fact that Discord was his adoptive father made that slightly awkward.

She dangled from the ceiling for a moment, neither of them speaking as she slowly swung back and forth, staring at him.

“… Well?” she asked eventually. “Not even gonna say ‘hello’, cutie pie?” she asked in a chipper tone, the sunlight filtering in through the window behind her and giving the draconequus an oddly surreal appearance.

“Hello, cutie pie,” William blurted, significantly stunned by the surprise wakeup call. He flushed brightly when she giggled, and dropped lithely from the ceiling to land with a single talon on his bedpost and using it as a springboard. She launched herself with a summersault and landed easily on the floor as casually as she would wave an arm.

The draconequus bowed slightly before the flabbergasted William, who was still struggling to make sense of the situation.

“The name’s Eris!” she beamed at him, extending a single paw in his direction. After a moment, he took it silently in his hand and shook it, uncertain of how to proceed. “You must be Willy!”

“Let me guess,” William narrowed his eyes promptly. “Discord.”

“Whaaaat?” Eris pulled her head back and laughed. “No, Willy. Can’t you even get your own name right?”

“Stop calling me that!” William demanded, straining to get to his feet without taking his eye off of the intruder. Her every single movement just seemed too… close to his personal space.

“Aw, how come?” Eris asked dejectedly, pouting. “I love Willies.”

“Mother!” William said as an uncomfortable heat began rising in his cheeks. “It would appear that the denizens of Hell have broken loose!”

0-0-0-0-0

Discord tapped his talons together quietly as he sat across from Rainbow Dash, William’s adoptive mother. And if that weren’t already odd enough, the feminine draconequus that sat across from William at the kitchen table was completely preoccupied making funny faces at him.

It vaguely occurred to him that he was the only one in the entire household that didn’t have red eyes, as his were the same almond brown as his hair; although technically Rainbow Dash’s were more magenta than anything else.

“So…” Discord cleared his throat awkwardly, drumming the tips of his talons across the untouched cup of coffee as the fuming pegasus glared daggers at him. “… I hear Twilight Sparkle is a princess now, or something.”

“Two years, Discord.”

“Rocking the whole ‘wings and tiara’ set –”

“Two. Years!” Rainbow Dash fumed quietly, the clearly uncomfortable draconequus tapping his talons together as the pegasus seethed. “For two years, I had to raise a colt while you were off on your own, Discord!”

“I was busy!” he shrugged hopelessly, a pathetic grin on his face. “Important things – god tier level things.”

William forced his attention straightforward at the quietly giggling Eris, who was silently tickling his kneecap underneath the table with the tip of her tail in an attempt to provoke some kind of response.

His only reply was a bland deadpan.

“Oh, so important that you couldn’t even stop by now and then to say hello?!” Dash slammed her hoof against the table angrily.

Discord held up his paw and talon defensively, and said “Yes, that busy. With really, really important stuff!”

“Like?”

“Well,” Discord began uncomfortably. “It all started off easy enough. But then, there I was, running for my life from this giant boulder in a temple of doom…!”

“Bu~llshit,” Eris held up a single talon, mimicking William’s deadpan and trying desperately not to laugh. “I was there for that. We broke into some guy Lucas’s house and stole his car keys.”

“Ix-nay on the erari-fay!” Discord hissed in panic through his teeth, seeing Rainbow Dash’s clearly unamused expression.

“I want an explanation, Discord,” Dash said quietly in a voice that could have made an ice cube shiver. “And I’m going to give you ten seconds to do it, and I’m going to kick your ass so hard you’ll taste hoof in your mouth for a year.”

"Don't you mean 'or'?"

"No."

Discord was completely silent for a moment, before leaning over the table and kissing the startled mare dead on the lips. He broke away after a moment with a rushed “I need you to look after Eris for me Willy be nice to your new sister ‘kay thanks bye!”

And no sooner had he finished speaking that he promptly exploded into a massive eruption of confetti and rubber ducks.

The quacking chunks of rubber intermingled with glittering confetti raining down from above left them all sitting in shocked silence for a long moment.

At least, until it was interrupted by the bloodcurdling scream of frustration from Rainbow Dash.

0-0-0-0-0

Author's Note

I really ought to get around to making an 8-Verse group, or something.