The Dark Side Of The Sun

by ocalhoun

Rating: teen
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy, Horror, Profanity, Non-consensual, Violence, Princess Celestia, Death, Nightmare Moon, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other
Length: 10105

Celestia will always struggle with the pain and shame of what happened that fateful night, but it's nothing compared to what happened next.

Behind Celestia's graceful smile and kind eyes, secrets are hidden with a thousand years of practice. The whispered legends of her depravity hide a dark grain of truth, hidden in the mists of time: the clash with Nightmare Moon left her with scars that will never heal.

This was written before Season 4: it's in a Season 3 universe.
An eighth chapter, by Icebox Froggie, is on its way, and will be added to the story at some point.

Wonderful Cover Art By: PonySlayer, aka JonnySalami
Pre-Readers:
Mailbox Bomber (From Bronyville Forums)
Proofreaders:
Ininsaki (From Bronyville Forums)
Editors:
Craine
Sorren
The 11th Wonder

Published 2014-04-03 18:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-09 17:26:17 UTC

Chapter 1 ~ Monsters In The Night

My face slammed into the throne room's floor. I could feel every speck of grit digging into my cheek. An armored blue horseshoe crashed into my skull, just behind my ears. It smashed me down into the marble with the full weight of a deranged alicorn behind it.

I struggled, straining against the crushing pressure holding me down, but I had no leverage, and the smooth floor offered no traction.

My sister's face dropped down to my level, her pitch-black fur and slitted eyes filling my view. She drew in even closer. “Had enough, Celestia? Or do I need to–” she licked her lips “–finish it?” Her eyes flashed along with a bolt of lightning outside.

My chest heaved. A deep ache shot through my jawbone where it ground against the unforgiving stone floor, but I couldn't let it end now. I struck out with a hind leg, kicking my sister's feet out from under her.

The floor cracked where Nightmare smashed into it.

I twisted myself up to my feet. My eye twitched as I felt the gash along my side tear open wider, but I managed to keep my composure, despite the wound my sister's sharpened armor had given me. “No, you don't have to do this. You can still stop, even now. We've been through worse, Luna. We can work this out.”

Nightmare rose to her feet and hissed, her horn leveled at me. “I told you not to call me that!” She lunged and only barely missed impaling my neck. “My name is Nightmare Moon!”

I unleashed a wave of magic to shove her away.

Thousands of years' worth of stained glass shattered outward behind Nightmare as she skidded away. She didn't even glance at it. Her horn glowed, and she slung a writhing tangle of impossibly black energy toward me.

I batted aside the attack with another blast of pure force. It splattered against the wall behind me, devouring a priceless tapestry in black flames.

“I will never allow you to do this, Sister.”

Nightmare froze, letting her next arcane attack fizzle out to nothing. She glared at me.

The slitted eyes staring into my own chilled my spine. I wondered what had happened to my loving sister. Where had this monster come from? I tensed as Nightmare crept up to me. Most importantly, what was she doing now? Had something I said gotten through to her?

Step by step, Nightmare sidled up to me, until her nose brushed up against my ear.

She spoke in a whisper so fleeting I had to strain to hear it. “I know you'll never let my stars reign supreme. I know you'll never risk ponies appreciating my moon more than your sun. I know you'll never stop until daylight is returned.”

She pressed in even closer. I could feel her lips moving against the soft hairs of my ear.

“That's why I have to kill you.” She darted in lightning fast, sinking her teeth deep into my neck.

I gasped and jumped back away from her. I tore free and backed away, up against the throne room's wall.

Nightmare grinned, letting her sharp teeth show. A red drop of my blood dripped from one of her longest fangs.

Yet another source of pain screamed into my head. I brought a hoof up to check the bite. Blood seeped from it, but it didn't spurt. I allowed myself a sigh of relief – she had missed my jugular... just a flesh wound. Not giving the bite another thought, I focused back on Nightmare.

The black alicorn stood entirely still, wings outstretched and eyes closed. Her billowing mane began to glow with different colors – familiar colors – the bold red of Loyalty, the soft pink of Kindness, the rich orange of Honesty...

Nightmare was unleashing her three elements of harmony! “Sister! No! We vowed to never use those again after we defeated Discord!”

I rushed toward Nightmare, but stopped short when the violet-lidded eyes opened, revealing not the dragon-like slits from before, but an intense white glow.

Three colored gems shot out from Nightmare's mane.

Clenching my eyes shut, I braced myself for being encased in stone, or whatever else the elements might do to me.

Nothing happened.

With a wince, I let one eye dart open. The three glowing gems weren't attacking me. They floated gently toward me. As they sank into my own mane, I knew what happened.

Nightmare snarled. “What did you do?” She bared her teeth and pinned her ears back.

“Kindness, Honesty, Loyalty...” I shook my head. “I've done nothing. You betrayed your elements, and now your elements have betrayed you.”

For one tiny moment, Nightmare's eye twitched, so slightly I wasn't sure if I'd actually seen it or not.

“Luna, it's over now. I have all six elements.” I took a step forward. “Please, just let me raise the sun, and we can talk about how to get you more recognition.”

“I told you not to call me that!” The rage in Nightmare's voice concealed squeaking cracks of desperation. “The elements don't matter. I will still win this fight, and for the same reason.” She stalked toward me, smirking. “You don't have the guts to kill me.”

“The elements won't kill you, Luna...”

At the mention of her old name, Nightmare's smirk melted into a sneer.

“... They will only turn you to stone.”

Nightmare drew dangerously close again. “What's the difference? Stone is as good as dead.”

I struggled to quell the churning inside me. I knew she was right, but I also knew I could never allow her to continue her insane plan. “I will do what it takes to stop you.”

In a flash, Nightmare teleported right up into my face.

I flinched back reflexively and then winced, knowing I had played right into her trap. Knowing all too well what must be coming, I summoned up the strongest magical shields I could.

Nightmare loomed over me. “Even with all the power in the world, you're still weak. That power belongs in the hooves of a pony with the will to use it.” She smiled. “Don't worry. You won't be around to see it.”

“Luna, I never–”

“Even if it takes a thousand years, I will destroy you, Celestia. You know that.”

“Luna, please! It doesn't have to come to–”

A dense blast of starlight stabbed toward my chest.

I tumbled across the room and slammed against the huge golden doors. My head rang, and my fur smoked where my shields hadn't been quite strong enough, but I didn't have time to recover. I threw myself to the side just in time to dodge a beam of deadly cold. The doors groaned from the sudden temperature change.

Nightmare rushed toward me, taking to the air.

I dove down across the floor, sliding out from under Nightmare's swooping strike.

Her helmet clanged against the golden doors.

Using her crash as an opportunity, I released a searing blast of solar fire.

Nightmare and the doors disappeared behind a bright wall of golden flame. As the flames died down, though, Nightmare emerged unscathed, standing in a glowing red puddle of molten gold. A smug grin spread across her face.

I knew what that would mean; I rushed to put my most potent shield spells in place.

Nightmare's answering blasts of purple flame hammered into my shields, driving me back. She kept them coming relentlessly, pushing me further and further, until I felt the smooth wood of our twin thrones against my back. A few more blasts of arcane fire lanced out, and those thrones were nothing but smoldering ruins.

A short pause in the fireblasts came. I gasped in relief, assuming Nightmare must have run out of energy before my shields failed.

The purple flames cleared away, revealing not an exhausted alicorn, but a vast cone of pitch-black energy bearing down on me.

I had no time to react.

The energy slammed into me. I felt like a mountain peak was driving into my chest. My shields buckled, nowhere near strong enough to cope with the force of it. The cone of shadow enveloped me, and darkness overtook me.

* * *

“... never could have turned out any other way, Celestia. I am destined to kill you. That's why you're weak. That's why I'm strong.”

I groaned and opened my eyes. I laid, bruised and bleeding, in the crumbled remains of our marble dais. Just breathing was excruciating.

Nightmare stalked toward me, taking her time. She moved with fluid power, gloating even in her gait. “Now the sun will vanish forever, and the night shall reign supreme!”

She stepped on me, purposefully stomping on the worst of my wounds. A whimper of pain escaped my lips.

“And now, all the ponies will finally look upon my night sky in awe! They will love and fear the glorious night, just as they love and fear their queen... at least, until they all freeze or starve.” Nightmare's grin grew. “They will lament their love of the sun before they perish, and I will have my vengeance.”

I stared up at the monster on top of me – what had my sister become? Luna would never have condemned ponies to death. What was wrong with her?

Nightmare's shimmering mane sank toward me. I could already feel the seeping cold of it against my back hooves. I clenched my eyes closed, feeling a warm tear squeeze out. I knew what I had to do. “I'm sorry, Luna. I'm so sorry.”

I focused on the energy of the elements inside of me. They would save the world from Nightmare Moon, but at what cost? If only I had enough ponies here, we could take full control of the elements and blast the evil from her... but the elements were too much for any single pony to control. Knowing my control over so much energy would be limited, I hardened my will. I would not let the elements kill her. I would not let them permanently imprison her in stone. Had she said she would kill me, even if it took a thousand years? That's what it would have to be, then.

Taking a deep breath, I activated the powers of friendship. Fire pierced through all four of my legs. I could feel tendrils of unbearable power twisting through me, burning me from the inside out.

I screamed. I screamed like I never had before. The elements were supposed to be used by a team of six. Using only three against Discord had been painful, but this... Red-hot snakes writhed inside me. It was too much to bear. I knew I would never survive it.

I opened my eyes, letting the tears flow. Nightmare stood before me, her face twisted in genuine fear... only, without her malignant confidence, I could see a tiny glimpse of Luna inside – a scared and helpless Luna...

I clenched my teeth. Even if it killed me, I was not going to let my last living act be the murder of my sister.

The moment I tried to take control of the elements' powers, the fire inside me shot through to the tip of my horn. I could feel every joint, every muscle of my body burning in the overload of power. A searing-hot pressure burned into my horn.

I didn't falter. I stood my ground against forces that would instantly consume an ordinary pony. I was no ordinary pony. I was an alicorn princess, born of the Celestial Fire and tempered by millennia of experience.

The boundless power of the Elements of Harmony bent to my will, even as they scorched my body. The petrification spell faltered, replaced by my own. Luna would get her thousand years, and she would get her moon. She would never be killed by her sister.

Chapter 2 ~ The Broken Window

I hurt. My body was an empty pit, lined with razor wire. My legs were frozen in place, too stiff to move.

I peeled open my eyes. The light from the newly risen sun seared them. Had I risen the sun? I didn't remember. And why did it burn me? Attuned with it as I was, I had always been able to look directly at it without any problem.

I rolled to my side and lifted my head. I immediately regretted it. Rubble from the ruined dais ground into my aching back, and a splitting headache like none I had ever felt before shot into my skull. Stars swam in my vision.

Voices percolated into my head. They mumbled and echoed strangely; I couldn't make out what they said.

I opened my eyes again. I wasn't looking into the sun this time, but they still burned as if filled with acid.

The remains of a stained glass window caught my eyes. It once depicted my sister and me. Now, Luna's place in the window was obliterated, along with most of the decorations. My image remained recognizable, though cracks radiated through it and a big piece was missing from my chest.

“Princess!” A pause. “Princess... can you hear me?”

I spun around to find the source of the voice and gasped as the slash along my side – a parting gift from Nightmare's razor-sharp armor – tore open again, releasing a fresh gout of blood.

“Princess! You're hurt!” A light brown stallion stood over me. I thought I remembered him from the castle staff... but for some reason, I couldn't remember a name. Why not? I always could before. He knelt down beside me. “Here, let me help you get–”

“Get away from me!” My voice sounded strange – hoarse and dry. I swung a hoof at him, which he dodged easily. “Let me die in peace.”

What had I done? I looked where my sister had been standing. Only a black mark on the floor remained. I just sent my only sister – my only true friend – to the moon for a thousand years.

My heart sank at the thought of what that would do to a pony. Would she forget about me? Forget the taste of water and the smell of food? Would she forget how to speak? Forget the very meaning of fun... or love? I groaned. Luna would come back a ruined husk of herself, driven mad by a thousand years of Nightmare Moon's poisonous hate.

What was I thinking? How could I have done–

“Princess?”

I lashed out, intent on silencing the impudent colt. I sent the full force of my magic against–

I screamed. The attempt to do magic sent a thousand burning needles through my head. My firebolt died before it began, fizzling out into a few tiny sparks. I dropped back down to the jagged stones, heedless of the way they cut into my face and chest.

“Princess, let me help you.” The stallion laid a hoof on my shoulder.

I glared at him with clenched teeth. I couldn't keep the pain out of my face, and I couldn't stop the tears of loss, but I gave him an untempered dose of my impotent rage. “LEAVE!”

I let my face fall back into the crushed marble of the dais. I didn't care about the dust soaking into my tear-streaked face. I didn't care about the pain of hard rocks grinding into my wounds. None of it mattered, not without Luna.

“Oh... okay.” The stallion backed away. I could hear his hesitant footsteps crunching against the crushed stone. He stopped for a moment. “I'll just go get help then.”

I ground my face into the stone and let the tears flow. Luna was gone, nothing would ever be the same again, and it was all my fault. My little sis had always been there for me. She laughed with me in the good times and cried with me when my mortal friends died... but not anymore. She was gone for a thousand years, and even when she finally came back, nothing would ever be the same between us. I had just destroyed my sister – the only friend I could count on through the endless ages. Why did it have to happen? Why didn't I see the signs sooner?

I deserved every shred of the pain wracking my body. I deserved worse.

* * *

I stretched my legs, reveling in the soft warmth of my favorite sheets. That had been one heck of a nightmare. I decided to never repeat what I'd done before going to sleep... as soon as I could remember what that was.

The afternoon sun shone in through my window. This must have been one of those days when I had risen the sun and gone back to bed.

I let out a contented yawn.

“How are you feeling, Princess?”

I rolled over to find a nurse sitting on a stool next to my bed. She looked at me with wide blue eyes, and she held up a glass with her magic. “Would you like some water?”

Now that she mentioned it, I was parched. I nodded. Helpful, but why was there a nurse in my bedchambers?

“Good.” She levitated the glass to my lips, and I drank greedily. “Doctor Heartstitch said you need to keep hydrated – you lost a lot of blood.”

Reluctantly, I took my mouth away from the glass. “Wha-what happened?”

“You don't remember?” She tapped a hoof to her chin. “Maybe that's for the best. Everypony says it was a terrible fight. I'm glad I wasn't there.”

Fight? No... it couldn't have been... I sat up, or tried to. I fell back down into the bed with a wince. The whole left side of my body hurt horribly. Afraid to believe it, I touched my side, feeling the long, thin bandage stuck there... right where Nightmare had sliced me with her shin guard in my dream.

Only... it wasn't a dream, was it? My heart imploded.

“Let me tell you, I was as glad as anypony to finally see the sun coming up, though, and I support you completely.” The nurse kept chattering on, oblivious. “You know, I never cared for Princess Luna that much, actually. I'm not really surprised she turned out like this. You never can trust things that lurk in the–”

I screamed at her, giving voice to my rage and pain.

She looked back at me with a start. When she saw my face, the glass dropped from her magic and shattered on the floor.

“You.” I let all of the accusatory venom I felt come through in my voice. “It's ponies like you who did this to her.”

“I, uh... I didn't–”

“All she wanted was for you to love her! All she wanted was for somepony to look at her beautiful night sky and enjoy it!”

“Um, Princess, are you–?”

“You destroyed her! You created Nightmare Moon!” I could feel the fire running through me, channeling into my horn.

“I never–”

“Of course you didn't!” I snarled. The nurse's face reflected the red flames running up my horn. “Nopony ever thought about what Luna wanted – about how Luna felt!” My flames spread to the bed. “It's all your fault!”

The flames flared, and the nurse scrambled out of the room.

It was the ignorance, the apathy, the baseless fear of ponies like her that drove Luna into madness. They were the ones responsible for–

I noticed the flames licking at my bookshelf across the room and playing across the ancient books. I didn't care about most of them anymore – they no longer mattered to me... but there was one, sitting on the very top, that did still matter.

With an act of will, I quashed the flames. They vanished in an instant.

I reached out with my magic and brought the old photo album over to the smoking remains of my bed. Good. It had only been a little singed around the edges. I ran a hoof along the deep blue cover. The book had been Luna's idea, of course.

I cracked it open at random. Little flakes of burnt paper fluttered down from the edge of the page. Sepia photos of the two of us in front of the Cloud Spire smiled back at me. Our trip to Las Pegasus in twelve hundred nineteen, of course. Cameras were still quite a new invention back then.

I smiled and sighed, remembering how Luna had loved the idea of capturing memories on photographic plates. She had insisted on an endless series of photos, everywhere we went... at least until the novelty of it wore off.

I flipped the page. One picture drew my attention. It held my gaze and pierced my heart. The two of us stood at the top of the Cloud Spire under a bright summer sun, and a crowd of enthusiastic pegasus ponies mobbed around us... or, rather, around me. Luna stood alone at the edge of the crowd with the slightest hint of a frown on her face, looking down at the floor.

That was over eight hundred years ago... How long had I been ignorant of Luna's unhappiness? How long had I ignored the signs and let my sister suffer in silence?

I closed the album and tossed it aside. I had been wrong to accuse that nurse. I was the monster. I was the one who tortured Luna with my apathy. I was the one who drove her into madness and her desperate cry for attention. Me.

I flopped limply onto the ashes of my bed, seeking nothing but oblivion. There could be no doubt – I was the worst sister in history.

Chapter 3 ~ Memory Lane

Luna sat at the table with her little hooves crossed in front of her chest. “Celly! I don't wanna eat my 'falfa!”

Celestia just nudged the bowl a little closer. “Come on now, Lulu. You know it's good for you, and you can have cake when you're finished.”

“I want my cake now!” Luna slammed her hooves down onto the table.

Celestia glared at her. “Oh come on. How old are you? Are you really going to throw a tantrum?”

Luna just stared at her, daring Celestia to make a move.

Turning her back to her sister, Celestia took a mouthful of alfalfa. She whirled back around, letting it hang out of her mouth. “Alfalfa monster!” she yelled, launching into a vicious tickle attack.

Luna squealed and squirmed, but she couldn't escape her older sister's onslaught. Her voice squeaking, she called for mercy, “Okay! Okay! I'll eat it! Just don't–” she burst into another squeal of laughter “–tickle me any more!”

~ ~ ~

A series of knocks at my door woke me. I could still hear the distant echoes of Luna's laughter.

The knocks came again, more insistent this time.

I groaned. Why did I have to be trapped in this awful, lonely world when I could be escaping into the one place I still felt happy?

The pony outside must have mistaken my groan for permission to enter. The doorknob turned.

“She's in a very fragile emotional state,” I overheard somepony saying just outside the door, “so let me do the talking, okay?”

A heavyset earth pony pushed in a cart full of covered trays. A doctor and two nurses followed closely behind her.

“Good evening, Princess.” The stallion stepped out in front. “I'm Doctor Heartstitch. I'm here to check up on you and see how your wounds are healing.”

He obviously expected some sort of reply. I just glared at him from my charred bed, not even lifting my head up.

“Ah, yes... well...” He took a hesitant step back, glancing to the side. “We've also brought you some refreshments. You'll need to keep up your strength for the most effective recovery.”

He nodded toward the pony with the cart. She shook her head and cringed away behind him. Her wide-open eyes never left me for an instant.

With a stern glance at the cowering mare, the doctor used his magic to wheel the cart over to my bedside.

The food did smell lovely. I sat up in bed, leaning close to the cart.

Heartstitch's eyes brightened. “Good, good. So you're feeling better?” He approached me with an exaggerated smile that never quite reached his eyes. “So, shall we take a look and change your bandages?”

My frown deepened.

“Ah, right. Perhaps not just yet.” His horn lit up, and one of the covers on the cart lifted away from the plate underneath.

My heart dropped out of my chest. The plate was full of alfalfa sprouts. Of course. I just stared at it, too empty inside to respond.

The doctor uncovered more trays, but my eyes were locked onto the first. I struggled for every breath. My lip trembled as I heard the ghost of an alicorn filly's laughter, and I could feel a familiar burning in my eyes.

“Princess? Princess Celestia? Are you feeling okay?” Heartstitch moved even closer, putting a hoof up on the bed.

I grimaced, struggling to hold back the tears that wanted to escape. “Get away,” I whispered. My whole body tensed up. All the happy memories I had with Luna caused me nothing but pain now. I had betrayed her, taken her for granted, left her without–

“Princess, if you need to talk about–”

The cart flattened, smashed under the power of my magic. Shards of fine crystal and splatters of food sprayed across the room. My gaze turned to Heartstitch, and he jumped backward. I could barely control my breathing, and my control of magic wore dangerously thin. I hadn't meant to crush the tray. I stomped a hoof to the floor, just inches away from the doctor. “Go away! Leave me alone!” I had intended a commanding shout, but it came out as more of a sob. My horn lit up again, pulling in an even greater charge of magic.

Heartstitch rushed out through the door, slamming it shut behind him. The other ponies were nowhere to be seen – they must have already fled.

Finally, I was alone. I collapsed onto the soft remnants of my bed, my hoof still hanging off the edge. My face flopped down just inches away from the crushed plate of alfalfa.

Nopony was here to see me now. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt the warm streaks run down my face.

Another loving memory of Luna crushed... how fitting. I had destroyed her, I knew. A thousand years of isolation in the clutches of Nightmare Moon would obliterate any trace of the sister I once knew and loved.

Why had I done that to her? Because she rebelled? But I had ignored her, smothered her with my apathy when she went unloved for centuries. How could she not? What choice had I given her? I knew she put more effort into her night sky than I put into the sun. I knew that it all went unnoticed. I knew ponies cringed away in fear of her... and I did nothing. All I could do now was let the tears flow.

My eyes caught the old photo album, lying abandoned on the floor. A fresh hoofprint had been smeared onto the cover. One of the servants must have stepped on it.

I levitated it over to myself, ready to crack it open again. I didn't need to, of course. Those memories burned in my mind more fiercely than ever.

~ ~ ~

“Sister, may I have a word?”

Celestia pushed aside one of the papers on her desk and slid up another one. “Of course,” she said, not even looking up.

Luna stepped up next to her, looking across the crowded but tidy desk. “I was wondering if we could introduce a new field of study at your school for gifted unicorns.”

“Hm...” Celestia didn't look up from the page.

The corners of Luna's mouth creased, showing the slightest hint of a smile. “Well, it's called 'astronomy', and it's the study of stars, planets, moons, and everything in the night sky.”

Celestia flipped the page over. “Isn't that just a little self-serving, sister?”

Luna groaned and rolled her eyes. “It's important! And... and I just want somepony to notice. That's all.”

Shaking her head, Celestia sighed. Maybe if she just humored her sister, she would be able to get back to the reports from the western expansion survey. “The school year is already in session. I won't be able to change the curriculum until next fall.” She scribbled a note about buffalo territories into her summary report.

Luna's face exploded with joy. “You will?” She latched onto her sister in an unrequited hug. “Thank you, Celly! This is going to be perfect!” Releasing her hold and falling back onto her hooves, she danced back and forth where she stood. “You're the best sister ever!” Her eyes opened wide. “I've got to get started on the lesson plans! See you later, Celly!”

Celestia rolled her eyes as Luna shot out through the door. She looked up at her bookshelf. She was sure she had an old book about buffalo customs somewhere. It could be useful to know which territory claims would be the most problematic with their tribal...

~ ~ ~

I flopped back down on my blackened bed. I never had gotten around to creating that astronomy department, not the first year... or the second... or the third... I groaned. That had been eighty-two years ago. How many times had she asked? How many times had I decided something else was more important?

Why had I never done it? Why did I keep stabbing my sister in the back, year after year? Because of the endless trivia of running a kingdom? I shredded the old album with my magic, sending bits of yellowed photos fluttering all over my chambers. The kingdom could burn for all I cared. I had already destroyed the one pony I truly loved.

Chapter 4 ~ The Beast Awakens

A hoof knocked on my door. My eye twitched.

The knock came again, louder.

I rolled over on the burnt remnants of my feather bed, away from the door. I did not want to be disturbed – not now, not ever again.

The door latch clicked, and a beam of light from the hall outside spread, creeping across the room until the door fully opened.

“Princess Celestia?”

A cold shiver ran down my spine. That voice was altogether too cheerful and upbeat. If I never heard it again, it would be too soon.

“Princess, my name is Doctor Bloom.” Of course the voice came again. “I'm the head counselor at the Canterlot Psychological Institute. Doctor Heartstitch asked me to see you.”

I quashed the sudden urge to murder this pony.

“I know you've just been through a very traumatic episode. Would you like to talk about it?”

“No.”

“The first step to recovery is being able to talk about your problems.”

I kept laying with my back to him, brooding in silence.

I could hear his uneven hoofsteps as he made his way toward me, carefully avoiding the shredded memories all over the floor. “I've helped quite a few victims of traumatic events, so I know what you've been going through.”

I whirled around and jumped to my feet, raising a cloud of black ash. “You have no idea what I'm going through!”

The stallion backed away, his wings flaring.

I grinned. Fear would be this meddler's undoing.

“F-fair to say...” He glanced all around the room, anywhere but at me. “But would you like to talk about it?”

“You disobeyed a direct royal order by coming in here.”

He gulped.

A jolt of magic shot through my body, making my back legs twitch. “I can exercise full discretion in deciding your punishment.”

“What happened to your mane? Why did it turn pink?” He backed away, breathing heavily. “Princess, you are not yourself right now. I urge you to–”

“Your body is forfeit, but...” I luxuriantly licked my lips, from one side to the other. “It is quite a nice body. I'm sure I can find a use for it.” I stalked toward him, putting a sensuous sway into my steps, and I let a predatory grin spread across my face.

“Princess! I can't–”

In a flash, I teleported behind him. I stroked a hoof across the curve of his flank.

“Your Highness, please! This isn't you. You need to focus on–”

“Have you ever been penetrated, Doctor Boom?”

He jumped away and ran to the door. “I'm sorry, Princess, but I can't treat you until you're ready to cooperate. When you decide to...”

I licked my lips again, even slower than before, never breaking eye contact with the stallion.

“I...” He shook his head. “I can't!” Running away down the whitewashed hall, he yelled back, “I'm sorry, Princess!”

As he disappeared, the jolt of magic ran through me again. What had happened to me? Why had I done that? I'd never done anything like that before... The magic burned through me again. It actually felt much like the Elements of Harmony had. I shook my head and used my magic to slam the door closed, dropping the room back to its perpetual dimness.

Eventually, my breathing slowed down and I could relax. I sat down, only to bump into something cold and hard behind me.

I turned my head to find the magic mirror of Polaris, or one of them at least. It had been a gift from Luna, of course, part of a pair of magic mirrors, each one displaying the other's reflection. I had been blind to it for a long time, but now all it could show was a view of Luna's empty bedchamber. How lonely must she have been to give such a gift? I grimaced. How ignorant must I have been to have seen it as no more than a magical trinket, a mere curiosity. This was no bauble; this was another cry for help from my desperate sister... yet another cry for help that I ignored.

My vision blurred, and I smashed a hoof into the huge pane of glass. Shards fell and cut into my foreleg, but I hardly noticed. Nothing could stop my pain. Nothing could bring my sister back.

I wiped my eyes and looked back up. The mirrors of Polaris had been one of a kind, their secrets lost to even the wisest unicorns. The image in the ornate gold frame was no longer Luna's chambers. The mirror of Polaris was no more; the intact half could end up connecting to anything. Now my own reflection looked back at me, shattered and distorted.

It wasn't a pretty sight. The bruises and cuts from my fight against Nightmare Moon still scarred my face, and the ashes from my bed left my coat a matted, dirty grey mess, except for the white streaks under my eyes. I fanned out my wings. The inside feathers had escaped the worst of the ashes, but they were still broken, tangled, and frayed. I probably wouldn't even be able to fly again without a thorough preening.

Good riddance. What use did I have for flying, anyway? Where would I go? I stalked back over to my bed, trampling bits of old photos under my hooves. Without anypony to share it with, none of it mattered.

Wings still outstretched, I flopped onto the ruins of my bed. I didn't care if the one clean spot on my body ground into the ashes. I didn't care about any of it.

* * *

I rolled over in my scorched bed again. My whole body ached, and I could feel the lines of power the elements had coursed through. They throbbed with a beat foreign to my body. It couldn't be ignored; it couldn't be resisted.

The drumbeat of the elements marched on, pounding through my burned-out body. They goaded me, dared me to pick a fight, to use them again.

Had this been what Luna felt? It couldn't be as strong as the rhythm pulsing through me now, but three elements would still be a burden. Had the elements driven Luna to rebel?

I slammed a hoof down, scattering ashes across my face. Luna was blameless in this, as I should have known from the beginning.

One of the bigger shards of the mirror floated up to me, enveloped in my golden magical glow. I wanted to see the pony responsible.

I had never looked so foul, so monstrous. It was fitting.

The elements pulsed again. I nearly screamed.

There had to be something I could do.

* * *

The spider continued its assault, crawling in spurts toward my bed. I watched its approach, biding my time and building my power until the perfect moment.

With another short burst of movement, the insidious arachnid moved into perfect striking range.

The grin on my face grew to manic proportions. My bones ached for an opportunity to release magical energy and calm the pounding rhythm of the elements. This threat, tiny though it was, gave me an excuse. I unleashed the fury of the sun onto the spider's back, vaporizing it instantly.

The beam continued on, through floor after floor of the castle. When I finally allowed it to cease, I found myself looking down a long, smoking tunnel.

Screams echoed up through the hole, from the kitchens below. I didn't care; not my problem. Collateral damage was irrelevant. The important part was that the threat had been neutralized.

The two guards stationed outside my door burst into the room. “Your Highness! What's wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong.” I glanced down at the smoking hole in my floor and smiled. “Nothing at all.”

The other guard stepped forward. “Are you sure, Princess? Are you hurt? Is there anything we can help you with?”

My leg twitched. I whirled around and leapt into the guard's face, snarling.

Before the guards had managed to back away more than a couple steps, I composed myself. I smiled sweetly, but let the sharpness stay in my eyes. “Why, yes, actually. There is something you can assist me with.”

The guards breathed fast and shallow, and their coats stood on end, but their training was good – neither of them displayed distress openly. “Yes, Princess?” they asked in perfect unison.

“I need you to reclaim the Eastern Wastes from the dragons.”

The two guards suffered a delicious moment of stunned silence. Finally, one spoke up, “Of... course, Your Highness. I'll contact Captain Razor Wing and begin assembling our–”

“No.”

For a moment, the tension vanished from the guards' shoulders. Did they think I had just canceled my order?

“I want the two of you to reclaim the Eastern Wastes alone.” The insincere smile on my face grew even sweeter.

Their mouths dropped open, and their wings drooped. “Princess, you can't possibly expect–”

“Immediately.” I leaned in close between them. “You wouldn't want to be sent to keep Nightmare Moon company, would you?”

The other guard nodded his head. “We'll get started right away, Your Highness.”

I grinned as I watched the two of them scurry away. That would be the end of any interruptions from them, and it had been amusing, watching them squirm. I wondered briefly if they would actually attempt the mission I'd given them.

I shrugged and closed the door with my magic. At least they were gone. The door clicked closed, leaving me alone in the dingy room again. Gone... just like my sister. I stared at my shattered mirror, and the sight of it snuffed out any elation from tormenting the guards.

She was gone. What was the point of happiness if you had nopony to share it with?

Chapter 5 ~ A Voice In The Darkness

The little purple filly in front of me looked up, her eyes full of hope. “Would you like anything else with that?”

I sipped my tea – the same raspberry blend I'd been living on since my encounter with Nightmare Moon. “No.”

Crystal let out the breath she'd been holding, and her eyes sank to the floor. “Do you suppose anypony will come back to the castle today?”

“No.” I had been alone with Star Crystal for some time now. Nopony had dared to stay in the castle since I lost the ability to resist the burning demands of the elements... nopony except for Crystal.

She was exceptional, this filly. She laughed away the worst of my schemes to enrage or terrify her, and even the most debauched of my intentions for her tender, young body were met with acceptance... and in time, even eagerness.

Still, she was but a mortal unicorn. One day, she would die, leaving me alone again. She couldn't replace Luna. Nopony ever would.

A surge of pain ran through the well-worn paths of elemental power in my body, and my compulsions grew stronger. I knew I would need to relieve them again soon. I winced. Every time I thought I had grown accustomed to the awful pressure, a new definition of 'unbearable' presented itself to me. What would it be this time? Another cruel joke, or would I take advantage of her nubile little innocence again?

A noise in the hall caused her to turn around and look, putting her tight, round flank in full view.

I liked my lips as I brushed her tiny white tail out of the way. This was going to be–

Three loud knocks rapped from the door.

I gasped at the pain and pressure the elements pushed through me at the thought of a fresh target, but I didn’t release Crystal's tail.

The door burst open without my permission. “Princess Celestia! What is this? What are you doing?”

I stared at him, momentarily speechless. He wore a blue cloak and hat, frilled with tiny bells, and a huge white beard grew from his grey face. I had never seen any unicorn like him. Another jolt of fiery compulsion shot through me. “Why don't you come in,” I purred, “and find out just what I'm doing?”

“Princess, look at yourself! You're covered in filth, you clearly haven't been sleeping, and all the color is gone from your mane.”

I narrowed my eyes. “I have killed ponies for lesser insults.”

He stared me down. “No, you haven't. I've read the history books.”

My eyes narrowed further.

“Look, Celestia, you have to–”

“That's Princess Celestia to you.”

He groaned. “Your Highness, my name is Starswirl, and I know what you're going through–”

“You can't possibly know.”

“–and I know you're suffering.” He stepped inside the door. “I have developed a spell that should free you from the effects of the elements.”

I shoved Crystal to the side, clearing a path to the intruder. She squealed as she skidded across the room. I stomped down, destroying a fragment of old photograph. “Nopony can do that. Nopony has that kind of power.” I glanced away. “And I wouldn't want to, anyway. I like what the elements have done to me.”

“No you don't. But you're right – nopony has the power to separate the elements from you against your will... but if you cooperate–”

“You will still fail. They can be removed only by death!” My impatience boiled. “Nopony has such power.”

“Did you ever stop to wonder who has been raising the sun in your absence?”

I sat down and crossed my hooves in front of my chest. “No.”

“It was me.” He took another step forward, making his bells jingle. “I do have the power to help you, Celestia.”

My eye twitched at his lack of royal courtesy. “I will never need help, especially not from a gaudy unicorn with designs on my throne!” I rose to my hooves, baring my teeth. “Yes, I see your plan. You would attack Equestria's royalty while they are weak, moving in while the Princess of the Night is banished and the Princess of the Day recovers. First, you take over their celestial duties, then betray the Princess of the Sun to her demise, before taking the twin thrones for yourself!”

“Princess, I–”

“But I'm too smart for the likes of you! Did you really think I hadn't seen plots against me like this before?”

He raised a magical shield, as if it could possibly help him against a pony as powerful as me.

“You are a traitor to the crown and usurper of the throne!” I let my voice drop low. “For that, I sentence you to death. Immediately.” I focused my full power into a beam of solar energy and set it loose against this Starswirl. He would never accost me again.

The beam rippled against his shield and sent him skidding out of the room and into the far wall of the hall, but it didn't pierce through and incinerate him as I had hoped.

No matter. I had even more powerful magic available to me. I would turn him to stone! I gathered the power of the elements, the rainbow ring swirling around me, and prepared to blast... an empty hallway.

He was gone. I smashed my hooves against the floor, sending cracks radiating away. I promised myself I'd kill that pony on sight if I ever met him again, and I pulled the elements' energy back into myself.

I screamed and fell to the cracked floor.

The pent-up energy coursed through my body, worse even than when I had used the elements against Nightmare Moon.

I staggered to my feet. Only one thing would save me – release. “Come here, Crystal,” I rasped, with my pink mane already reaching out for her. “Turn around.”

* * *

I tossed my teacup against the wall of my bedchamber. It shattered, sending a spray of chamomile tea and shattered fine china down onto the growing pile of filth in the corner.

Crystal winced. “Did I not make it right, Master?”

It had been perfect... but my compulsions would burn me alive if I wasted such an opportunity. “No, you did not.” I sneered at her. “If this happens again, you will be joining my sister on the moon.”

“Yes, Master.” She cringed.

I sighed and looked away. That little filly's usefulness was wearing thin. Each release of my urges against her gave me ever-diminishing relief. I might have to dispose of her soon. Tormenting her no longer gave me the fulfillment I desperately needed.

Or maybe the compulsions were just growing stronger? What if nopony in the world could satisfy me anymore? Only one way to find out – leave Crystal behind and seek out new victims.

Either way, the filly would have to be disposed of. How best to do it? What sort of demise would best relieve my–

A familiar knocking came from my door.

So, Starswirl had dared to return? Thankfully, I had been planning for this day. There would be no escape this time. I brushed my magic across the line of magically charged diamonds behind me, activating them all. Nothing could survive the onslaught of this magical arsenal.

I grinned through clenched teeth as the first few beams of pure energy shot through the door and wall, and I prepared to channel the power of the elements. With any luck, I'd be able to–

Crystal screamed.

Chapter 6 ~ Purifying Flames

I watched as a beam disintegrated Crystal's left foreleg. My magic dissipated, but I couldn't stop the barrage from the diamonds.

It felt like a hard kick in the gut. I rushed toward her, pulling up a shield spell, but I couldn't get to her fast enough.

Another glowing beam burned through her back right leg, severing it almost completely.

Finally, I managed to put myself and my shield between the enchanted stones and my only friend... but it did nothing to quiet the filly's cries.

An eternity passed while I blocked my own attack and listened to the injured filly's screams degrade into harsh sobs. Finally, the last of the jewels expended its energy and stopped firing.

As soon as I felt safe dropping my shield spell, I whirled around to Crystal. “Are you okay?”

Stupid. One leg was gone, and another hung by a thread. Of course she wasn't okay.

Crystal just whimpered, pushing herself away from me with her good legs.

I had to stop her bleeding. I glanced around, finally spotting the royal robes I never wore. Levitating one over, I tore a few shreds off of it and moved to wrap them around the bleeding filly's wounds.

She screamed and backed further away.

“Crystal, I need to tend to your wounds, please don't–”

“Get away from me!” Her voice squeaked and broke, but it held an authority I would never have suspected from her.

My heart tied itself in knots as I watched her stumble to her two remaining feet. I held out a hoof. “Crystal, please! You'll hurt yourself! Just lie down and let me–”

“No!” She tried to take a step toward the door, but fell flat on her face, blood spurting everywhere.

I reached for her. “Crystal!”

She vanished in a blast of blue magic.

I froze, and my priceless makeshift bandages dropped to the floor. Looking up, I saw the pony responsible.

Starswirl stood in the doorway, looking directly at me.

“You,” I snarled. “What did you do to Crystal?”

“I sent her to get the help she needs.”

I stalked toward him, my horn glowing bright. “Where did you send her?”

“When, actually.” He kept his smug visage, seemingly unperturbed to have an alicorn in a dangerous mood closing in on him. “I used one of my time spells and sent her one year into the future... where she will receive the very best medical care available... That is if you can get control of yourself by then and arrange it.”

I stopped just in front of him, towering over him. “You will die for this, you know that, right?”

“The elements are too much for any one pony to bear, Celestia, even one as strong as you.” He didn't back down an inch. “They are corrupting you from the inside out, causing irreparable damage.”

I slapped him to the side with a blast of magic. “I know that. I know that better than you ever could.”

He picked himself off of my floor. “I can help you, Celestia. I've made a spell that will take the elements away.”

Of course! He wanted the elements for himself! Once he had them, he'd be able to overthrow me and take Equestria for himself. That was exactly what I wanted! The fires burned inside me, and my eye twitched. No! That was the opposite of what I wanted! This usurper had to be dealt with immediately – I couldn't risk him taking away my precious elements.

I released another blast of magic, only to see it dissipate around his shields. I grit my teeth and dug deep. I would end this pony. Today. I summoned the full fury of the sun. He had to be weakened from the barrage dealt out by my diamonds. He wouldn't survive this time. My beam of sunlight struck him head-on. He vanished behind a wall of white-hot flames. I grinned, letting my eyes grow wide as my attack ended, ready to gloat over his smoldering corpse.

Infuriatingly, he stood unharmed within a circle of blackened marble. “Celestia, let me help you. Let me free you from your burden.”

I screamed. If only he could... if only he could.

I twitched again. I knew I couldn't let him do that, not ever. So he thought he had good shields? It was time to stop holding back. I no longer cared about collateral damage. The only thing in the world that I still wanted was to see him burn.

My horn glowed. I called upon my connection with the cosmos.

Far up in the sky above, a solar flare the likes of which nopony had ever seen split off from the sun. Drawing off this much of its fire would leave it slightly, but permanently dimmed. I didn't care.

“Celestia, you don't have to...” Starswirl looked up as the entire castle began to tremble, the first hints of genuine fear breaking out on his face.

Good. This imposter may have been guiding the sun in my absence, but it always had and always would answer to me, first and foremost.

The searing rage of thermonuclear fire struck my castle. The marble roof overhead vaporized, and my entire vision filled with the blinding light of the sun. I basked in it, the only being in the world who could survive – thrive – in the inferno.

In mere moments, the flare was gone. I had merely used a small portion, after all. I didn't care to destroy the entire planet just yet.

All around me, the scant ruins of my castle crumbled and smoldered, a shriveled husk of its former glory.

One of the glowing-hot piles of rubble in front of me shifted.

I groaned. What would it take to kill this pony? Better not take any chances this time, I decided. This time, I would wipe out the whole continent.

Starswirl pushed the smoking chunks of rubble off of himself. His beard was singed, and his hat was missing. “So, this is how it ends?” he whispered, watching my glowing horn, “I wonder, are you going to slice me to pieces like Crystal, or are you going to banish me like Luna?”

I diverted the next flare, arcing it around the planet and back toward the sun. I stood there, just breathing for a moment. My bones still burned with rage, but my lips trembled. I couldn't stop my eyes from watering.

I collapsed onto the hot stone floor. “What have I become, Starswirl?”

He rose to his feet with a groan. “What you have always been – a good pony and a loving princess.”

“Liar,” I spat. “I've driven away every pony for miles around with my cruel tricks. I molested and maimed the only pony who stayed. I've destroyed my – our – castle, and I've sent my sister off to a thousand years of torment... and now I've just tried to murder you.”

“Celestia, you've been through a lot lately.” Starswirl walked up to me. “And the elements have been attacking your mind. You can't blame yourself for–”

“If I hadn't stopped my last attack, I would have killed every pony in Equestria.” I hid my face under my hooves and I felt another burning rush of compulsion flow through me. “I don't want to go on like this. Make it stop, Starswirl. Kill me.” I closed my eyes and waited for it.

I could hear the hum of Starswirl's magic above me. I knew the end was close now. I would finally be free.

His spell shot lightning through my veins, and my world went dark and cold. With my last breath I whispered, “I'm sorry, Sister.”

* * *

I rolled over onto my side and groaned. Six round stones sat in front of me, each with the shape of an element embedded in it. Why was I still alive? Had Starswirl lost his nerve?

“Did you sleep well?” He reclined on a nearby slab, watching me and twirling the tip of his beard around with his hoof.

“Wha– what happened?”

“I used my spell, of course. Quite ingenious, if I do say so myself. They don't call me 'the father of the amiomorphic spells' for nothing!” He chuckled. “It turns the elements' own power against them, and they do what they do best – they encase themselves in stone.” He hopped up to his feet. “And don't worry. They'll break free when they're needed... when six ponies with the right spark approach. No more of this multiple element per pony business. It's just too hard on the ponies holding them.”

I took a deep breath... The compulsion of the elements – it was gone! I gasped. “I'm free! I'm actually free!” The strangest feeling came over me though. “But... why do I still feel like... molesting you?”

Starswirl sighed. “I wish you would have let me help you sooner.” He stared at the burnt floor, shaking his head. “Our memories and experiences shape who we are. Unfortunately, you now have some very dark ones, and they'll never completely go away.”

“Never?” I sat up and folded my wings.

“They will always be a part of you now. It's something you will always struggle with.”

“Then my survival is a tragedy.” I slumped back down.

“... But you have an eternity to improve yourself – thousands of years to practice making yourself a better pony... and to make amends.”

Chapter 7 ~ Invisible Cracks In A Gentle Smile

The little filly in front of me smiled. “And is that when you banished Nightmare Moon?”

“Yes it is, Twilight.” My voice didn't break, I didn’t lash out. It would have taken a master of perception to notice the tiny twitch of my eye.

The lavender filly bounced around in excitement. “That must have been such a fight! I wish I could have seen the magic you two were using!”

Twilight Sparkle would learn tact someday, I was sure. I saw enormous potential in this filly. “It wasn't nice magic, Twilight.”

“What's wrong?” She stopped her bouncing. “Did somepony get hurt?”

~ ~ ~

A dry wind blew through the skewed stones, and Celestia looked down from the crumbling ruins of an old tower at the state-of-the-art medical tent below.

The forest was already reclaiming the site of her old castle, even as the new one in Canterlot was under construction. Little remained of the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters now, but the remains of one room bustled with activity.

It wouldn't be long now. She wasn't sure exactly what time it had happened, one year ago, but it had to be soon. Celestia felt sick with worry, but she knew she couldn't be anywhere near the recovery area. Crystal wouldn't understand, and she would still fear her, at least at first.

A blue flash shot out from below, and a purple filly fell screaming to the dusty ground.

The best paramedics in Equestria pounced on her, obscuring her from Celestia's view. She knew they would take good care of her. The best.

If only Celestia herself had cared more, back when it was just the two of them... Celestia knew she could never truly make amends for all she had done to that filly, but she also knew she had to try anyway.

~ ~ ~

I sighed. Even after eighty-six years, Star Crystal had never been able to see me without fleeing for her life on her two good legs, a heart-wrenching sight. She died still fearing me.

Some scars never healed, as I knew better than most.

“Princess? What's wrong?”

Twilight had noticed my behavior. I must have been slipping. I'd have to tie her up, legs spread, and get my–

I quashed the thought as quickly as it entered my mind, with practiced ease. “I think that's enough history lessons for one day, Twilight.” I had to be careful with this one. I hadn't been this close to anypony for centuries – not since Starswirl died. It didn't help that she bore more than a passing resemblance to another filly from so long ago. “How about we move on to practicing your amiomorphic spells?” ... Just in case.

Twilight's eyes brightened. There was nothing that filly liked more than magic lessons, except maybe her books.

As Twilight ran through her warm-up exercises, I glanced through the window at the full moon. My sister's silhouette stared back at me, as always. It would only be a few more years now, until she returned. Could my wounds finally begin to heal when she came back, or would we pick up the fight where we left off?

I glanced back to Twilight. She would be a young mare by the time Luna was due to return... I wondered, would she have a part to play when that day came?

The End

Author's Note

Cover Art By:
PonySlayer, aka JonnySalami
Pre-Readers:
Mailbox Bomber (From Bronyville Forums)
Proofreaders:
Ininsaki (From Bronyville Forums)
Editors:
Craine
Sorren
The 11th Wonder