--October 10th, 2013--
Ponies are colorful creatures, in EVERY sense of the term. When I was a kid My Little Pony annoyed the ever loving FUCK Outta me. That changed exactly three years ago. When the the HUB Network Launched. I was busy catching up on the wonders of Internet Memes back then, as I had also became obsessed with Video Games. I became a Brony maybe in 2011. I had seen all the videos and such, so I decided to check it out. In the beggining, my favorite pony was Rainbow Dash (I was obssesed with Sonic, and she reminded me of him, okay). I got hooked. However, after Season 3 ended, the magic went away for me. I was taking a walk when I was blindsided by a Girl that I Proceeded to knock out. SHE CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD, OKAY!!
I stopped and checked to see if she was okay. She was fine. In both the literal and figurative sense. She had flaming red hair with blonde highlights. She didn't look a day over 15. She was wearing a black leather jacket, a purple blouse with a stylized sun on it, and a somewhat alarmingly short yellowish orange skirt. It was Sunset Shimmer.
This can't be happening! Now she wasn't by any chance my favorite character, I personally prefer Luna, but she was proof enough. Her hair seems to be naturally colored. This definitely was her. Now you probably would just leave her there to die, or worse. I'm not a cruel asshole. I Carry her over my shoulder. I'm a big dude. You'd think I was older than I actually was If you saw me. At the time, I was 6' 1". My physique, a mix of muscular and chubby. When I lift her up she's REALLY light. Probably about 100 pounds, but don't quote me on that, I'm no expert.
The first thing I did was head back home. If she woke up, she'd make a scene. I knew this much. When I got to my house, I reflected on what had just happened. Was the multiverse theory an actual thing? Why would the mirror be here? Did the mirror even bring her here? What am I gonna do when she wakes up? What if MY MOM Saw her?!! I picked her up and carried her to the couch. I sit at my computer and wait for her to awaken.
--10/10/13: 4:47pm--
Her scream instinctively made me close the webpage I was on (it was Tumblr). I go into the living room to see Sunset Shimmer, terrified, and disgusted at her new human form.
"What in Equestria am I!?" I smirked. This is gonna be fun. This may be the only opportunity to mess with a cartoon, better make it count. As much as it hurts me to write this, You Only Live Once.
"You're a Human." She stares at me, still scared. I STILL, to this day, don't know if it was because I was human, or because of my smug smirk. I think it's the latter.
"What are you!" I chuckle. She just stares suspiciously. "Why am I here?" My Smirk gets more intense, almost turning into a trollface.
"Oh nothing, just the guy that saved you." She raises one of her eyebrows. I think the best part is waiting for the response. Please be something I can work with...
"Saved me from what?" Oh, this is SO worth it, Trolling a villain from a movie based on a cartoon about magical ponies. I need new hobbies.
"Rapists, Fedora-wearing neckbeards, diseases, killers, violent fantards, stray animals..." Her face cycled through several expressions.
"Fedora-wearing neckbeards?" I pulled a Dreamworks face.
"Like rapists for your mind." She cringes. "You're lucky you ran into me." She then proceeds to ask the most important question.
"Where am I?" I sit down next to her.
"This gonna blow your mind," I start. "You're in McKeesport, Pennsylvania." Her eyes widen, then they narrow.
"Where?" I put my hand on her shoulder.
"Not in Equestria," I say with a grin.
"How do you know where I came from?" And with that I swear I got smugerer. "This might blow you mind even more." I hand her a comic (You know the one). She flips through it. "I-I-I..." She trails off.
"You what?" Then her nose started bleeding. If you haven't played BioShock Infinite, which was basically a game about the multiverse, I'll explain. She was having an internal existential crisis. Her brain was breaking from learning about her place in this reality.
"Oh Shit, I'm Sorry!" I go get her a tissue. "I wanted to see how you reacted," I say wiping the blood from her nose.
"I'm assuming I'm stuck with YOU, now." I nod. "Do you have a place to sleep?" I point to the couch. She flops onto it. "Close Enough..." Then she passes out, Hopefully NOT from blood loss.
--October 10, 2013, 4:53--
So, just to recap, I met a fictional character in real life, and now she's sleeping on my couch. What the fuck happened? Anyway, when I wake up, she's still passed out on the thing, my trio of crackhead dogs laying on top of her. For a bitch, she's cute when she sleeps. Then the tense moment came. My MOM would be home any minute. I had to wake her up. How do I go about doing this? I don't want her to think I'm a perv, but she'll still be cranky as fuck. Taking a deep breath, I shake her a bit. She clearly doesn't want to wake up.
"Five more minutes!" I continue shaking her.
"FINE!!" She jumps up. "What do you want?"
"I need you to finish your slumber in my room."
"Why?"
"My Mom and her boyfriend are gonna be home soon, and I don't know how they'll react!"
"I understand." She gets up and heads to my room.
"Keep the boots on, there's no carpet!" I yell to her. The door slams shut. I realize that I have bitchiest pony living with me. What a Time to be Alive.
