The Mare That Wasn't
It was a lazy Sunday afternoon in Ponyville, and Lyra Heartstrings was sitting on a park bench, testing a new song she wrote out on Bon-Bon. She usually did this when inspiration struck her, and Bon-Bon was always cooperative. But this time, she needed more help than usual.
"It sounds lovely, Lyra," said Bon-Bon. "What's it about?"
"That just it, Bons. I don't know yet," said Lyra with a shrug. "I think I've got the melody down pat, but unless I can think of a story to go with it, it's not much of a minstrel song."
Bon-Bon stroked her chin in thought. "Hmm. Well, not much is coming to mind," she mused. "What were you thinking about while writing it?"
"Eh, it was more of a stream of consciousness thing, so that doesn't really help," said Lyra. "My mind just kinda drifted around."
"Mmm-hmm," said Bon-Bon with a contemplative nod. "Well, in that case, why not make the song about something you like?"
"I feel like I have enough of those," said Lyra. "The only topic I haven't touched yet is..."
She trailed off and cast her eyes downward.
"Is what?" inquired Bon-Bon.
"No, I can't say it. You're gonna make fun of me," said Lyra with a sigh.
Bon-Bon shook her head. "Lyra, sweetie. You know I would never make fun of you, no matter how quirky you are."
Lyra gave Bon-Bon a dirty look. "What about the time I found that shoe-print in the ground?"
"That wasn't making fun of you. That was grounding you in reality. There's a difference," said Bon-Bon. "And I still think that was just a blob."
Lyra pouted. "Let's just, drop the subject, okay?"
"Okay, sorry," said Bon-Bon. "So, just tell me your idea. I promise I won't laugh or try and shoot it down."
"Pinkie Promise?" asked Lyra.
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," said Bon-Bon without missing a beat.
"Alright, fine," Lyra relented. "I, think it might be cool if I wrote a song about, humans."
Bon-Bon blinked. "Why did you think I would make fun of you for that? The whole town knows that you're obsessed with those creatures. It's nothing to be ashamed about."
"Yeah, I know that, Bons," huffed Lyra. "But you forgot to mention that three-fourths of the town thinks I'm crazy."
"Lyra, you're exaggerating," said Bon-Bon.
"Okay, two-thirds."
"Lyra~!"
"Okay, okay. Only fifty-one percent of the town thinks I'm crazy. Happy now?"
Bon-Bon sighed. "Lyra, don't you realize that nopony actually cares if you're crazy or not? I mean, I don't care."
"But they should care, Bons! That's the thing!" cried Lyra. "I know that humans exist out there somewhere, and I hate being alone on this!"
Bon-Bon sighed again and placed a foreleg around Lyra. "Well, maybe that's what your song should be about if you really feel that way."
"Mmm, maybe," said Lyra, calming down a bit. "Still, I wish there was somepony out there who would believe me."
Bon-Bon was about to comment on that when a round of giggling was heard just down the path. She and Lyra turned to see six familiar friends chatting it up with their pets in tow.
"And then, on the train ride back, I said: 'Wait a minute, Dashie. We live in a world with minotaurs and trolls. How do you not know what hands are?'" said Pinkie Pie.
"You don't need to keep telling us, Pinkie. We were all there," said Rainbow Dash, sulking all the while.
"Aw, c'mon RD. Pinkie wasn't tryin' to embarrass you none," said Applejack. "Truth be told, I was kinda curious 'bout that myself. Doesn't Darin' Do come across loads of creatures with hands?"
"It was just a brain fart, alright?" growled Rainbow Dash. "Look, can we just drop the subject? It's not important, anyway."
"Okey-dokey-lokey. Sorry, Dashie," said Pinkie, nuzzling her friend. "You know how I am, saying whatever just pops into my head. I'll try to be more careful from now on."
Rainbow chuckled. "Don't sweat it, Pink. You wouldn't be you if you weren't random. Besides, looking back on it, what I said didn't really make sense, did it?"
As soon as those words left Rainbow's mouth, a large cloud opened up and released a duck made out of papier-mâché with glasses, a false mustache, and a cigar suspended from a string. As it dangled in front of the ponies, confetti spilled out from the cloud, and a party horn was heard.
"Yeek!" Fluttershy and Rarity shrieked as they both fainted dead away. Pinkie, in the meantime, was giggling at the odd thing while the other three ponies just gave the duck a bemused look.
"What the hay is that?" asked Lyra, staring blankly at the spectacle.
"You're asking me?" said Bon-Bon.
"Okay, Discord. You got us," said Twilight Sparkle, rolling her eyes.
In a burst of confetti, the duck transformed into none other than the Master of Chaos himself.
"Now, how did you know it was me?" Discord asked, dusting himself off.
"Um, duh! Papier-mâché ducks don't fall out of clouds," said Rainbow Dash, folding her forelegs. "What do you want, anyway?"
"Just a couple of things, really," said Discord. "First, I wanted to set up the running gag."
"The what-now?" asked Applejack.
"Nothing," said Discord, clearing his throat. "Second, I just heard you talking about something that doesn't make sense, and I would love to hear about it. I could always use some new material. Just for a few harmless pranks, mind you. Nothing nefarious."
"Well, you're tapping into a dry well there, Discord," said Pinkie. "See, all we were doing is talking about this one time when Twilight was at the Crystal Empire for her first royal summit, and then some nasty pony stole her crown and took it to this world where everyone is a dressed monkey, except for Spike, who was a dog, and..."
"Oh, right. Yes. I heard about that," said Discord, interrupting Pinkie's train of thought. "Though I hesitate to call a world full of some of the most irrational animals in existence a 'dry well.' At least the good majority of them are irrational from my experience, but alas, no one listens to the humans who actually know what they're talking about. Such is the tragedy of that world."
Lyra's ears perked up. "Wait. Did he say 'human?'"
"Lyra, what are you thinking?" Bon-Bon asked nervously.
"They're talking about a place in Equestria where humans live, Bons! Humans!" squealed Lyra. "It's just like I told you! They do exist!"
"Lyra, calm down before you do something..."
But Lyra didn't listen to Bon-Bon. Instead, she immediately ran up to Discord with a huge smile plastered on her face.
"...stupid," groaned Bon-Bon, smacking her forehead.
"Oh, hey Lyra," said Twilight. "What's up?"
"Oh, nothing. I just heard you talking about a world full of humans!" exclaimed Lyra, bouncing up and down with glee. "What's it like?! Are they just as cool as I imagined?!"
"Um..." Twilight said nervously, her eyes darting around every which way.
"Ooh, ooh! Can I go there?! Will I need shots?! Do you think you can make me their ambassador, since I knew about them all along?!" said Lyra, still pestering Twilight with questions.
"Alright, Lyra. That's enough," said Bon-Bon, trying to rein her marefriend in. "Please forgive her, Your Highness. She's just, overexcited."
"I, figured," said Twilight. "Well, Lyra, it's like this. Yes, humans do exist. They live in an alternate dimension that's accessible through the Crystal Empire."
"Hurrah!" Lyra cheered.
"However, the portal between dimensions is currently closed off for another thirty moons."
Lyra's expression drooped. "Harrooh," she said.
"And even then, I don't know if the princesses will allow you to go there," said Twilight. "It's not really a tourist attraction."
"But, you're a princess, aren't you?" said Lyra. "Can't you give me permission?"
Twilight hemmed and hawed over Lyra's question for a while, feeling rather uncomfortable.
"I, wouldn't ask her stuff like that, Lyra," said Applejack, lowering her stetson over her eyes. "She's still getting used to her royal duties an' all."
"Oh. Sorry," said Lyra with a sigh. "I just, really want to see humans, y'know? I always knew they existed, so this is like a dream come true for me. Oh, if only there was some way for me to experience it."
Discord stroked his goatee in thought. "Hmm. Actually, I might be able to help you there," said he.
Lyra's eyes sparkled. "You can?!"
"Oh, no. Nononononono," said Bon-Bon, shaking her head. "I'm not letting you hurt her."
"Why, Bon-Bon! I'm appalled that you would even suggest that!" said Discord. "Didn't you get the memo? I'm reformed now."
"I'll vouch for him on that," said Pinkie Pie. "As long as Flutters can keep him in line, you've got nothing to worry about."
"I don't know about this," said Bon-Bon skeptically.
"Come on, Bons~! This is my dream we're talking about!" said Lyra. "You know how much seeing actual humans means to me! C'mon, pleeeeease~!"
She then stared at Bon-Bon with sad puppy dog eyes. After a long pause, Bon-Bon relented.
"Okay, fine. Do whatever you want," she said. "But don't come crying to me when this bites you in the flank."
"Deal!" said Lyra. "Okay, Mr. Discord! I'm ready to go!"
"Splendid," said Discord. "But first, a few ground rules."
"Anything you say!" said Lyra, nodding enthusiastically.
"There's only one rule you must abide by in the world of Canterlot High, Lyra. Don't mention me," said Discord. "As far as you know, I had nothing to do with what's about to happen. Stick to that story, and everything will be fine. Are we clear?"
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" said Lyra, reenacting the promise.
"Good," said Discord. "Bon voyage!"
With that, he snapped his fingers. There was a bright flash, and Lyra whited out.
***
When Lyra regained consciousness, she found herself in what appeared to be a dressing room. Squirming a bit, she realized that she was tangled up in a bunch of clothes. A familiar-sounding shriek rang in her ears.
"What have you done?!" the voice exclaimed. "That's supposed to be for my new winter line!"
"Sorry!" said Lyra, struggling to get out of her predicament. "I didn't mean to do that. I don't even know how I ended up here. J-just give me a minute."
After a while, Lyra finally managed to pick herself up. She was now dressed in a yellow down jacket with green gloves on her front hooves and brown boots on her hind hooves. She was about to look up when she heard another shriek, this time in delight.
"Oh my stars, darling! You look magnificent!" exclaimed the voice, sounding even more familiar. "I knew this new line would work!"
A light bulb went off in Lyra's head. "Wait, Rarity?"
She finally looked up and saw a pale-skinned girl with flowing purple hair standing in front of her. Lyra's jaw dropped.
"Um, how do you know my name?" asked the girl.
"Y-you remind me of someone from home," said Lyra, shaking herself. "Anyway, that doesn't matter. You're human! You're actually a human! This is a dream come true!"
Lyra was about to jump for joy when Rarity gave her a puzzled look.
"What are you talking about, darling?" she asked. "You're human, too."
Lyra stopped for a moment and looked down at herself. She raised an eyebrow when she found that her body looked exactly as it did back in Ponyville. She then looked back at Rarity.
"What are you talking about? I'm not human," said Lyra. "I'm a pony, from Equestria."
Rarity shook her head. "No, I've seen ponies before, darling. You, however, are nothing but a silly girl with back problems and a large pimple on her head."
Lyra's jaw dropped again. "How the heck did you come to that conclusion?!" she demanded.
"It's, rather obvious, actually," said Rarity. "There's no need to get all worked up over this."
"How is this obvious?!" Lyra barked. "I mean look at me! Do I look like a human?!"
"Yes. Yes you do," said Rarity. "By the by, do you want me to do something about that pimple? It looks rather unattractive."
"This is my horn!" shouted Lyra, pointing at her forehead. "I'm a unicorn! I was born with this."
"Alright then, I stand corrected," said Rarity. "You're a silly girl with back problems and a large mole on her head."
"Whoever heard of a sharp mole that's five inches long?!" yelled Lyra. "That makes no sense!"
As soon as she said that, the paiper-mâché duck from before dropped down from the ceiling, along with confetti and the party horn. Before anyone could comment on it, it disappeared into the ceiling. After staring at each other dumbfounded by the random occurrence, Rarity quickly shook her head and regained her composure.
"Look, you. While you are being very silly, you still have to help me clean up here," she said.
"I'm not being silly. I really am a pony," said Lyra with a pout. "But, I'll still help you clean up."
"Thank you," said Rarity. "And after we're done here, I think there might be someone who can help us out..."
***
Once Lyra had finished helping Rarity clean up, she was led out into the hallway. There, she spotted another familiar face: A small orange boy with green hair and freckles.
"Hey, that's Snails, isn't it?" said Lyra.
"You know him?" asked Rarity.
"He's from my world, too," said Lyra.
Rarity deadpanned. "Listen, let's just have him sort this out, alright? I'm sure he'll be able to tell us what you are."
Before Lyra could protest, Rarity waved Snails over.
"Hey there, Rarity," he said. "Where's your hall pass?"
"Right here," said Rarity, displaying the small card. "How's hall monitor duty, Snails?"
"Oh, y'know. Same old, same old," said Snails with a shrug. "Nothing really exciting has happened ever since that whole thing with the pony princess, know what I mean?"
"Wait, pony princess?" asked Lyra, perking up. "You must be talking about Twilight Sparkle!"
"Um, yes. I am," said Snails, staring blankly at Lyra. "How did you know about that, eh? I never saw you here in Canterlot High before. Are you a new transfer student?"
"Oh, no," said Lyra. "See, I'm from that world Twilight came from, although Rarity here seems to disagree. But you see that I'm telling the truth, right?"
Snails raised an eyebrow. "I dunno. You look like a silly girl with back problems and a large pimple on her head to me," he said.
"Actually, it's a mole," said Rarity. "I made the same mistake, darling. It happens."
Lyra sputtered angrily. "Wh-what is with you people?! I know through extensive research that no human walks on all fours!"
"That's why we said you have back problems," said Snails. "Maybe you should start up a charity drive to get that fixed."
Lyra smacked her forehead. "Okay, look. What color is my coat?"
Snails blinked. "It's, yellow."
Lyra looked down and smacked her face again. "Not that coat, you loon! I'm talking about this!" she said, pointing to herself.
"That's your skin, darling," said Rarity.
"Whatever!" Lyra snapped. "The point is that it's green. Now, have you ever seen a green human before?!"
"Hey, Rarity."
As if on cue, a girl with rainbow-colored hair and light blue skin walked by, showing Snails her hall pass as she went.
"Hello, Rainbow Dash," said Rarity, waving to her friend. She then turned back to Lyra. "You were saying?"
Lyra's eyes nearly popped out of her skull. "Okay, why does she have blue skin? That makes no sense."
Once again, the papier-mâché duck dropped down from the ceiling and flew back up before anyone could comment on it. After a heavy silence, everyone shook themselves.
"Anyway, to answer your question, Rainbow Dash just happens to be a bit different, darling. Just like you are," said Rarity with a shrug. "There's no shame in it."
"Except that I'm still a pony over here," said Lyra.
"No, I'm pretty sure you're a silly girl with back problems and a large mole on her head," said Snails, stroking his chin. "But just to make sure, I know someone who can really help us out. C'mon, follow me."
With no other options, Lyra complied.
***
Snails led Lyra and Rarity to the auditorium, where a yellow-skinned girl with flaming red hair and a black jacket was working with a bunch of other students. Snails cleared his throat.
"Um, Sunset Shimmer?"
The girl spun around and narrowed her eyes.
"Yeah. What do you want?" she snarled.
"Sunset, remember what we talked about," Rarity said tersely.
Sunset sighed. "Sorry, Rarity. I'm still getting used to this friendship business," she said. She then placed a hand to her chest, took a deep breath, and let it out. "Now, what can I help you with?"
"Well, you're a pony, right?" said Snails.
Lyra looked at Snails, then at Sunset, and then back at Snails. "She's a pony?" she asked.
"Yes, I am," said Sunset. "It's a long story, but I am from Equestria originally. But now, this place is my home."
"Oh," said Lyra. "Well, I'm a pony, too. You can see that, right?"
Sunset gave Lyra a once-over and furrowed her brow. "No, that can't be right. The portal to Equestria is closed for another thirty moons. Nopony can come here, and nobody can go there. Besides, I know for a fact that you change shape when you travel between worlds."
"Would you believe that I didn't?" said Lyra hopefully.
Sunset shook her head. "No, I wouldn't. Because that wouldn't make any sense."
As soon as she said that, the papier-mâché duck dropped down from the ceiling and darted back up again. Sunset scowled.
"Ugh, that Pinkie Pie and her tricks," she said, rolling her eyes. "She has to know that there's a time and a place for those things."
"I'll, let her know the next time I see her," said Rarity.
"Let's get back on topic here," said Lyra. "The fact of the matter is that I'm a pony from Equestria, and you should know this!"
Sunset stared down at Lyra with an intimidating glare. "You know what I think? I think you're a silly girl with back problems and a large pimple on her head."
"Mole, actually," said Rarity.
"Whatever," said Sunset. "The point is there's no possible way that you're a pony."
"But I am!" Lyra insisted, jumping up and down. "I am I am I am~!"
"Oh, stop your bellyaching. How old are you, five?" scolded Sunset. "We're not going to buy into your game no matter how many times you say it."
"It's not a game! I'm a pony!" Lyra wailed.
Sunset groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I don't have the strength to deal with this. Let's just take you to Vice Principal Luna and see what she has to say about it."
"Fine," Lyra said with a pout. But deep down, she was worried and confused.
What's going on? she thought. Everybody thinks I'm human, but I'm not human. Not that being human's a bad thing, but that's not what I am. Oh, I just hope there's someone here who has some common sense.
***
Lyra was led to a dark, shadowy room where a familiar woman sat behind a desk grading papers.
"Vice Principal Luna?" said Sunset Shimmer. "Sorry to disturb you, but we have a bit of a problem here."
"What, kind of problem?" asked Luna, looking up from her paperwork.
"It's this girl right here, Vice Principal Luna," said Snails. "She thinks she's a pony."
Luna looked at Lyra and raised an eyebrow. "You, do realize that animals aren't allowed on school grounds, right?"
Lyra breathed a sigh of relief. "See? I told you I was a pony!" she said triumphantly.
"We still don't believe it, darling," said Rarity. "No pony would look so ravishing in my outfit."
"Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna take this outfit off!" said Lyra. "Then you'll see that I'm a pony!"
She then lifted her hoof and bit one of the fingers on her glove. Suddenly, a sharp pain with through her leg and she yelped in surprise.
"Ow ow ow!" she cried, shaking her leg and looking at the glove. To her surprise, the finger that she bit was throbbing, as if there was actually a finger underneath.
"Okay, that's not supposed to happen," she said, pointing to the wounded "finger". She then realized that she was pointing with her other "finger" instead of her hoof and yelped again. "For the record, that wasn't supposed to happen, either. This makes no—"
She stopped herself mid-sentence and shook her head. "Oh, no. Not again. This is random enough without that."
Vice Principal Luna stared blankly at Lyra. "What on Earth are you talking about?" she asked.
"She's just being silly, Vice Principal Luna," said Sunset Shimmer. "She's a silly girl with back problems and a large mole on her head, but she keeps saying that she's a pony when she's clearly not."
Vice Principal Luna knitted her brow and stroked her chin. "I'm afraid I'm at a loss for words here. We should take this to Principal Celestia. She'll know what to do."
For the love of Pete, how much longer is this gonna go on?! Lyra griped mentally. I just wanted to see a world full of humans! I didn't ask for this!
***
From Luna's office, Lyra was led straight to the office of Principal Celestia. Just like before, a familiar-looking woman was sitting behind a desk, buried in paperwork.
"Is there something I can help you with?" she asked sweetly.
"Yes, there is," said Lyra before anyone could say anything. "See, I came from this world called Equestria. You know, the place Twilight Sparkle was from? Anyway, ever since I got here, these people have been saying that I'm a silly girl with back problems and a large mole on my head. But really, I'm not. I'm a pony. A talking, magical pony. You can see that, right?"
Celestia paused for a moment, looking over Lyra with a critical eye. She then looked up at the students.
"You three, leave us for now," she said. "Vice Principal Luna and I will deal with this."
"Of course, Principal Celestia," said Sunset Shimmer. With that, the three students left. Celestia then gave Lyra a curious look.
"I thought that portal was supposed to be closed for a while," said she. "How did you get here?"
Lyra swallowed, not wanting to make the situation any worse than it already was by breaking her promise to Discord. "I-it's a long story," she said. "B-but you believe me, right?"
"How could I not?" said Celestia with a warm smile. "You don't look like any girl I've ever seen before."
Lyra breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank Cele— I mean you. Thank you," she said, clearing her throat. "Um, you believe me too, right Vice Principal Luna?"
"Well, I had my suspicions that was the case," said Luna. "But I couldn't risk scaring the students. Besides, animals aren't allowed on school grounds. If it was revealed that you were a pony, we would've been forced to throw you out. I couldn't do that in good conscience."
"What do you mean?" asked Lyra.
"Twilight didn't know this, but this world isn't simply limited to this high school," said Principal Celestia. "There's a larger world beyond it; one which you are clearly not prepared for."
"Oh," said Lyra, unsure of whether to feel grateful or afraid. "So, what happens now?"
"Well, answer me this," said Celestia. "Why did you come here?"
Lyra rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Well, back home, I always knew that humans existed. A lot of ponies thought it was just a weird quirk or that I was crazy, but I didn't listen to them. And I always wanted to see humans up close, so I just had to come here when I heard about this place."
Celestia and Luna looked at each other, and then back at Lyra.
"Well, how would you like to live here at the school for a while?" asked Celestia. "Just to see what it's like."
Lyra's eyes glistened. "Really? You'd let me do that?"
"We can arrange something with the rest of the faculty," said Luna. "But when the portal opens again, you have to go home."
"Also, you should probably play along with the other students," said Celestia. "For some reason, they see you as human. We don't need another panic after what happened at the Fall Formal, so maybe it's best to hide the truth while you're here."
"Yeah, that makes sense," said Lyra with a nod. "Okay, I'll be sure to do what you say. Thank you for understanding."
"You're very welcome, Miss..." said Celestia, trailing off at Lyra's name.
"Heartstrings. Lyra Heartstrings."
***
Time passed as Lyra lived amongst the students just like Twilight had done before. The teachers all knew the truth, but promised to keep it a secret. However, none of the students found it odd that a girl was walking on all fours and had a mole that stuck out five inches on her forehead. This confused Lyra, but for the sake of hiding herself, she paid it no mind.
Finally, thirty moons had passed, and it was time for her to go home. She stood in front of the horse statue as the shimmering moon reflected off of the mirror-like portal that would bring her home. She stepped forward, and stopped.
I'm not a pony, she reminded herself, backing away from the portal. I'm a silly girl with back problems and a large mole on her head.
Her thoughts echoed in her mind as she continued to back away. She just made it to the school's front steps when she began to cry.
"I wish I was a pony," she sobbed. "Humans are cool, but I miss my home. I miss Bon-Bon, and Octavia, and all my other friends. I miss being me. I shouldn't be hesitating like this. It makes no sense."
For one final time, the papier-mâché duck dropped down, this time turning into Discord.
"It seems the human world isn't all it's cracked up to be," he said.
"No, it's alright," said Lyra. "I actually had a lot of fun here after the initial confusion. But, I can't help it. I'm homesick. I just want to be a pony again."
"Understandable," said Discord, nodding sagely. "Now, consider this. How many people at this school said you were a pony?"
Lyra tilted her head. "Well, that's a weird question. I'm gonna have to say it was only the teachers and faculty."
"Correct," said Discord. "However, the majority of people in the school, the students, said that you weren't a pony. Does that make them right, just because they outnumber the teachers?"
"Well, no," said Lyra, still unsure as to what Discord was getting at.
"Then there you have it," said Discord with a warm smile. "Although majority rule can be right, it isn't always right. It's a case-by-case thing, really."
Lyra blinked in confusion. "Wait, why are you telling me this? I always knew that humans existed, even when the majority of Equestria didn't believe me. I don't need to learn this lesson."
"Oh, the lesson wasn't for you, my dear," said Discord. "It was for the fine folks back home. For you, this was a complete waste of time."
He gestured to the empty air as he said that, making Lyra even more confused.
"The folks back home?" she parroted. "What are you talking about?"
"Ask Pinkie Pie when you get back. She'll know," said Discord. "And with that, I'm going to send you back in time to one second after you made this trip initially."
"Wait, you are?" said Lyra. "But why?"
"Well, I'm reformed, aren't I?" said Discord with a chuckle. "I can't just have you lose thirty moons of your life on something that you couldn't possibly understand. What kind of friend would I be if I did that?"
Lyra was too tired to argue, even though she did see Discord's point. "Just take me home already."
"Your wish is my command," said Discord with a snap of his fingers. Lyra sighed.
Well, on the plus side, I think I know what my new song's gonna be about, she thought just before she whited out.
The Moral of the Story:
Just because the majority of people say something is true doesn't make it true.
Or alternatively:
Don't make deals with Discord, because he'll no doubt screw you over in one way or another. Even if he is reformed.
Author's Note
I know there are several "Lyra discovers Equestria Girls" stories out there already, but I haven't seen one involving Discord yet, so I figured I'd give it my own take. My own incredibly, incredibly silly take. 
