Hugh Bliss' Revengeby Lock TargetChaptersChapter 1: Sam and Max come to Equestria (Based on an extremely rare bubble gum card)Chapter 2: So it is written (Based on a Mayan Prophecy about Sam and Max blowing up the Earth)Little Ponies in the Big Apple (Based on the movie adaptation of the sitcom)Light and Darkness (Based on the instructions on how to built that grill you bought last summer)Author VS an actual Cool Guy: A Hugh Bliss' Revenge Fan Fiction (Because I have plenty of time to say both syllables!) By Strong BadPrologueChapter 1: Sam and Max come to Equestria (Based on an extremely rare bubble gum card)One day, after delivering a cake to Cheerilee, Pinkie decided to take her raft and go fishing. "Gee, I hope I don't wind up on a confusing Island adventure like last time" she thought to herself. Suddenly, Pinkie felt a tug on the line. Her catch pulls her back to shore where it is revealed to be a strange submarine with wheels. The top part of it opens revealing a six foot tall dog-like creature in a suit and fedora and a similar-looking creature who was three feet tall and resembled a bunny with bear teeth emerging from the it. "Well, here we are in...Wherever that tunnel took us" the dog creature said to his companion. "This place is so colorful and peaceful" the bunny creature replied, "And it gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling in side just standing around...Wanna see how long it takes before we unwittingly change that?" "Can't think of a reason not to" the dog creature answered. "I can" a worried Pinkie added exiting her raft. "Ah, a local" the dog creature said acknowledging Pinkie. "So who are are you guys?" Pinkie asked freeing her hook from the Submarine's bumper. "Of course, where are my manners?" the dog creature replied clearing his throat as his rabbit-like friend jumps onto the hood, "My name is Sam, and this is my little buddy, Max. We're Freelance Police" "Freelance what?" Pinkie asked reeling her rod up. "Ooh, her mane is so fluffy" Max comments pulling out an electronic razor, "Let's shave it!" "Mind your manners, bucket head, we don't want to make a bad impression to this- Sweet expecting momma in an '86 ferrari driven by a ghost down route 66 on a Saturday night in July!" Sam exclaimed, "You're a talking pony!" "...And YOU'RE a giant doggy in a suit and HE'S a bunny!" Pinkie pointed out after a brief pause. "Lagomorph" Max added, "And YOU'RE a...And HE'S A...I'M a...Guess I lost this round of...Whatever it was we were doing" "...Anyway" Sam started, "We just arrived from an underwater portal. Maybe you'd like to show us around?" "Okie-Dokie-Lokie" Said Pinkie as the two go ahead of her. Stopping Max, she brings him closer. "What's a ferrari?" she whispers. Moments later, the two follow her to Fluttershy's where she stops then turns to them. "Why'd you stop?" Sam asked. "This is the first stop on our tour" Pinkie replied, "My friend, Fluttershy lives here. She's so nice. She has a thing for caring for animals and-" "Wait!" Max shouted sniffing around pulling a knife out, "I smell a cat somewhere!" "Oh, Angel, there you are!" Fluttershy shouted suddenly hugging Max making him drop his knife, "How many times do I have to tell you not to run off like that?" "You...Must be...Fluttershy!" Max grunted causing Fluttershy to stop and turn him around. He then waves at her. "AGH! YOU'RE NOT ANGEL!" Flutterhy cried dropping Max and hiding behind Sam who she notices making her yelp moving over to Pinkie, "Who are you two!?" "These are my new friends, Sam and Max, they're Freelance...Policies, or something" "Police" Max said in an annoyed tone. "What are those?" Pinkie asked. "You mean to tell me you don't have people who risk their lives to keep civilians safe from criminals and wrong-doers of all shapes and sizes?" Max asked back. "...You're...Bounty Hunters?" Pinkie wondered. "...I guess that's the simplest way of describe it" Max answered pulling out a white flag to wave around. Sam clears his throat. "You say you lost your pet bunny, miss?" Sam asked kneeling down to stroke her mane. "Um...Yes" Fluttershy said calming down. "Well, you heard the lady, Max" Sam said standing up, "Let's find that rabbit!" "Stay with the group!" Pinkie shouted stopping them. As they make it into town, they stop again. Gesturing them to wait until she gets back, Pinkie leaves. Clearing his throat after a while, Sam asks Fluttershy, "So when was the last time you saw your pet?" With a sigh, Fluttershy starts. "I was fluffing his tail when a strange sound scared him off. I searched everywhere from my cottage to the edge of the Everfree Forest" "Well THAT narrows it down" Max groaned sarcastically, "So what's our tour guide got in store for us?" "My guess is she's going to grab her welcome wagon" Fluttershy replied "A welcome wagon? How quaint" Sam comments. "Please don't say 'Quaint' again" Max requested. Pinkie returns 5 seconds later with her Welcome Wagon. "Sorry to halt the tour, boys" Pinkie said as Fluttershy walks over to her, "But I gotta make this official" As Pinkie goes through her routine, Fluttershy hears a rustling in the bushes. She goes to investigate it only to find it was a bunny, but not Angel. "Oh, I'm sorry" Fluttershy sighed, "Have you seen a white bunny with curlers in his tail?" "I got him right here" Applejack said walking over to her, "The little critter was spooked to- WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS DAIRY-BASED IS THAT!?" "...Um...Pinkie Pie's Welcom Wagon?" Fluttershy assured her. "Not that, THAT!" AJ said pointed at the batter-covered Sam and Max. Pinkie pops out from behind saying, "These two are Sam and Max, they're bounty hunters" "Uh...Howdy?" said AJ. "...Max, I mean, Sam, if I don't shave one right now, I'm going to lose it!" Max claims in an edgy tone. Looking to his left, Sam says, "Why not take it out on that guy?" "CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!" Max shouts exiting the batter and wielding the razor. "...You gonna eat that?" Asked Sam pointing to the impression Max left behind. "I'll get to it later!" Max replied in a distance. Moments later, the girls take Sam to Twilight's house where they find Rarity about to knock on the door. "Oh, hello girls" Beamed Rarity, "I'm just here to go over designs for Twilight's dress for the upcoming ball and" Just then, she notices Sam who waves at her. "Oh, who is THIS strapping fellow?" she asks. Just before Sam could answer her, Time Turner appears with patches of his mane and coat missing and starts knocking on the door frantically. "PRINCESS TWILIGHT, PRINCESS TWILIGHT!" he shouted. Twilight opens the door. Inside, she, Spike and Rainbow Dash are sitting down to lunch. "Can I help you, sir?" Twilight asks. "THERE'S A CRAZY RABBITY-THING TRYING TO SHAVE ME!" he said, "It's using what it took from my mane for a moustache" "Get-a back-a here!" Max shouts in an italian accent, "I'm-a not done with you!" Before confronting Max, Twilight notices Sam. "...Could somepony bring me up to speed here?" Twilight asked as Max shows up making Time Turner run away. "You can expect to be on the same page by the next chapter, your highness" Sam says tipping his hat and bowing. The girls are left with a confused look on their faces. To be continued. Chapter 2: So it is written (Based on a Mayan Prophecy about Sam and Max blowing up the Earth)Where we last left our heroes, they had just ran into the two most unusual indeviduals they have ever met. Pinkie wanted to give them a tour, but they wound up taking them to Twilight. "...And that's the whole story" Claimed Sam. "...You found a glowing tunnel in your world and it took you to our lake?" Twilight asked in a tone of disbelief. "Yep" Max replied, "Just a regular day to us. So, go any good shooting galleries around here?" Sam places a hand on Max's shoulder. "I don't think they even know what a gun is, little buddy" he said. "Well, why don't we educate them?" Max asked uplling out a tiny cannon with a handle on it. "Put that away, applehead!" Sam yelped, "The last time we introduced weaponry to a peaceful world, it started a war!" "You started a war in a world similar to our's!?" Twilight shouted. "WE'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE!" Max snapped firing a shot in at the ceiling. "...You'll have to excuse him, your majesty" Sam said with a sigh, "...He's nuts" "Believe me, I know the type" Twilight replied glancing at Pinkie momentarily, "And by the way, I'm just a princess in TRAINING, not a full-fledged one" "There's a difference?" Sam asked. "Never mind" Twilight groaned, "So, your curiosity is the ONLY reason you're here?" "Either that or there's a prophecy to it" Max answered, "Probably, 'Two beasts, one who resembles a brown dog garbed in grey, the other, a rabbit with the mouth of a shark shall come to our world' or something like that" "Don't jinx it Sam, I mean, Max" Sam pleaded in a chagrined tone. "So it is written by the author, Sam, so it shall be" Max responded trying to sound spooky. "...Wait, which one is who again?" Spike asked. "He's Max, and I'm Sam...I mean, HE'S Sam and I'M Max" Max answered. "For some reason, we get our names mixed up sometimes" Sam added, "But we manage to correct ourselves" "...Um...Okay?" Spike said after thinking about it. "CAN WE GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!?" Rainbow Dash shouted, "...Sorry, me and Twilight-" "Twilight and I" Twilight said. After giving Twilight a lingering "Don't start with me, Sparkle" look, she continued. "...We were ABOUT to have lunch before the girls showed up with you guys. Then we had to focus on you and you go on about underwater tunnels and prophacies...Something about a Super Ball or something- I DON'T KNOW!" "Maybe...You should, um...Eat something?" Fluttershy suggested. "...That might help" Dash said taking a bite out of her sandwich. "Case and point" Twi sighed. "My condolences" Sam said shaking off his jumpiness, "Would your majesty object if we show a couple of your subjects with us for a while?" "Yeah" Max added, "Maybe President Superball would like to meet some ombudsmen from this little trip?" "...Heh, it's adorable how he uses words he doesn't know the meaning to, isn't it?" Sam asked rubbing Max's head. Moments later, Sam, Max, Spike and the girls are back at the lake, Spike is inside the vehicle with an abundance of supplies. Pinkie Pie is absent. "Alright, girls, the De Soto's all set" Sam said giving a thumbs up. He then jumps into the driver seat as Max enters the passenger side. "Okay, Applejack" Twilight started, "You and Rainbow Dash are going to a world similar to the one I went to in the Sunset Shimmer incident. Keep in mind that in the three days I was in THAT world, I didn't study much about it, so you might need to rely on these two get you through most of it. I'm sending Spike with you in case you want to send a letter back here" "You sure that's gonna work, Twi?" AJ asked. "Hmm...In case it doesn't, take this" Twilight answered pulling out a rotund crystal. "This is a Contact Crystal. It'll allow us to speak to each other using my magic as a beacon. It's similar to a device they call a 'phone', except it will work on an interdiensional way...I hope" "And if you should bring back any souvenirs, make them...A little hygenic?" Rarity requests. "WAIT!" Pinkie said as Fluttershy rolled her eyes, "WE FORGOT TO THROW A GOOD LUCK IN THE NEW WORLD PARTY!" she cried as she tripped knocking the crystal out of AJ's hoof into Spikes claws then bouncing herself and Fluttershy into the De Soto on top of him. Sam shuts the De Soto and they set off back to their world. Regaining her hat from Rarity's face as a disoriented Twilight stood unresponsive of the incident, AJ takes a look into the water. "...That can't be good" she said after a pause. Suddenly, Zecora emerges from the Everfree Forest. "The demonic roar that filled my ears, what I have witnessed confirmed my fears" she said in a distraught tone. "Fears?" Twilight asked. "This day is a woeful one to behold, one written in the days of old" Zecora answered with her head hung low, "According to writings way back when, the Hyublis shall soon rise again!" "...What exactly IS a Hyublis, sugarcube?" AJ asked. With a sigh, Zecora gives Twilight a book and a scroll. "Take these and you will know, we'll meet again at your home, for now, I must go" she finished reentering the forest. "...If the first part of that is what Max theorised, I'll eat one of Rarity's hats" AJ claims. Unfurling the scroll, Twilight skims it and lowers it to look with a discomforting smile. "Uh...Rarity, do you have one made of straw?" she chuckled sheepishly. "Oh, um, I DO have this sombrero I can't do a THING with, a-ha-ha-ha" a terrified Rarity said trying to help Twi lighten the mood. "...Anypony got any katchup?" AJ asked with a seious uneasy look on her face. To Be Continued Little Ponies in the Big Apple (Based on the movie adaptation of the sitcom)As Twilight reads the book, Rarity starts pacing while Rainbow is reading Daring Do and the Ring of Destiny and AJ is eating the Sombrero as they all wait for her to give them the information. Twilight puts the book down as the girls pay attention. "So, what's up?" RD asked as she puts a bookmark in and places the book aside. "The inscription goes like this" Twilight started taking a deep breath, "Two beasts, one who resembles a brown dog garbed in grey, the other, a rabbit with the mouth of a shark shall come to our world. The dog creature will have slain the Hyublis once before in their world in boiling water. They leave with a baby dragon, a Pink Earth Pony and A Yellow Pegasus" "That's downright spooky" AJ said finishing up the top part of the sombrero. "And rather convenient" Rarity added. "...Spookvenient?" Rainbow said thinking about Pinkie at that moment. Everyone stares at her for a moment. "...That's it, I'm making this an eatin' game!" AJ proclaimed, "Everytime somepony has a Pinkie Pie moment, I'm takin' a bite outta this! Anypony wanna join in? This rim looks like it'd last a while" "Whatever this Hyublis fellow is CAN'T be good" Rarity said nonchalantly ignoring AJ's invitation. "Hmm" Twilight though about this. Suddenly, she remembered, "While I was looking for the book about the chest, I came across a history book saying something about such a monster" She clears her throat and continues. "Some time between Discord's first imprisonment and when Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon, she and Princess Celestia battled him for a gem known as the Prism of Boundless Bliss. That's all I know so far" She then looks behind her. "Spike, write a ltter, we need to warn Luna and Celestia about-" She said before remembering Spike was with the away team, "...Oh, right...Excuse me for a moment," "...BITE!" Rainbow said as she and AJ get ready to take a bite of the rim. Meanwhile, Sam and max had just brought Spike and the girls to their dimension. As they exit the De Soto, the trio begins to observe their whereabouts. "Wow" Spike said, "This looks almost like Manehattan...Only...Bigger" "And louder" Fluttershy whimpered. "UGH! And stinkier!" Pinkie groaned waving her hoof in front of her face after getting a whiff of the nearby cart crash's smoke. "Yep, home, sweet home" Sam proclaimed. "Allow us to show you around and ultimately get on a completely different subject all together" Max added, "...Seriously, writers, what the crap?" "SUCH LANGUAGE!" Fluttershy said with a gasp. Max's paw suddenly goes blurry for a moment as he gave a gesture to Fluttershy with an annoyed look in his eyes. Sam sighs in chagrin rubbing his eyelids. Suddenly, Spike's belly starts glowing blue. Opening his mouth, an image of Twilight forms from the light that escapes it. "Girls? Come in! I-" Twilight said before looking around, "...Why is my image being projected out of Spike's mouth?" "Hey, just be glad it ain't comin' out the other end" Max commented. "While that might be a sight to see, I think your little dragon friend swallowed your magic cell phone thingie" Sam said stepping up to the image, "But don't worry, we'll get it out of the little guy" "You think Sybil's still trying her hand in operating on mythical creatures?" Max asked, "Preferably a lobotomy for Sister Marry Buttercupcake over here?" "Do NOT make me give you the STARE, mister!" Fluttershy snapped stomping her hoof on the ground. "Don't provoke her" Pinkie added, "SHE'LL DO IT!" Twilight clears her throat to break up the argument. "I think I have a less painful...And less expensive solution the problem at hand" Sam said after an akward pause. "When you do, tap on the crystal to tell me" Twilight instructed, "It'll flash and I'll use my magic on this end to activate them" "I just hope it works" Sam said with a quizzical look on his face, "What with Hugh Bliss not of this world anymore" "Hugh Bliss...? Hugh Bliss..." After saying this for a moment, she suddenly realized with a gasp, "HYUBLIS!" "Yes, that's his name" Sam said wondering why it took so long to understand. "You don't understand!" Twilight said starting to hyperventilate from doing her calming motions Cadence taught her. "Take it easy!" Max said shooting Twi's astral projection a couple times. "Sorry, but you see-" Twilight started before Rarity started panicing and running around her, "R-Rarity, calm down, you're ruining my concentra-!" the images disappear. "Well THAT doesn't sound good" Spike said, free to talk again. "We better act fast so we can see what that was all about" Sam suggested pulling the keys out of his pocket, "Hop in" Moments later, the gang makes it to Sam and Max's Office. Sam rummages through his desk to find a trinket of a face with a rainbow coming out of its mouth. "Ooh, pretty!" Pinkie said looking at the item, "What is it?" "This talisman grants its holder the power of Gastrokinesis" Sam said looking at it adjusting his hat, "...At least I HOPE it still does" "What's Gastrokinesis?" Fluttershy asked. "In laminate's terms, you get to make people throw up" Max answered. "You look like you have a LOT of cool stuff!" Pinkie said looking through the desk. "Memorabilia from our adventures" Sam explained, "Should the occasion arise, I kept the more useful items in my inventory from the games- I mean, the cases to assist in a situation such as this" "Okay, but what about the rest of this stuff?" Spike asked looking around. "Same thing, but these are just for show" Sam said walking over to him, "Now hold still, this might take a while" As Sam started to extract the crystal from Spike, Pinkie got curious and walked around. Max follows her to the closet. He opens it and shows her a jar. "You remember that Hugh Bliss guy your friend was freaking out about?" Max asked. "Yeah, but you shouldn't be too concerned about it" Pinkie told him, "She worries about lots and LOTS of things, like this one time, back when she was a Unicorn, she paniced because she didn't give Princess Celestia a lesson on friendship! She went to everypony she knew to find a problem to solve and use a lesson from THAT, but then she tried to make the Cutie Mark Crusaders fight over her old doll which became an enormously huge, entire-town-in-total-chaos, Princess-has-to-come-and-save-the-day problem. THEN there was this time-" "MY TURN!" Max said interrupting her, "Anyway this is what's left of him after Sam boild him and I drank him. Have a look for yourself" He then hands Pinkie the jar. "...I don't think I want to" Pinkie said with a grimace. "Could you keep quiet for a moment?" Sam asked, "I need to focus" Just then, the jar starts to tremble. "...That's never happened before" Max commented as the jar explodes. The blast knocks PInkie into Spike making him spit out the crystal which Sam catches with his hat. The rainbow light that showed up with the explosion then forms into a tall, fleshy creature in a white suit with a white mane in a ponytail, mustache and soul patch and reddish pink eyes. "...Oh, how wonderful" the beast said in an unnaturally high-pitched voice, "I'm reborn! Just as the Mole people prophecised! This must mean the one with the Prism of Boundless Bliss has come to this dimension, YAY!" "Oh my" Fluttershy murmured at the sight. "Oh, I have get things ready for the search" he said flying away out the window with a rainbow trail behind him. Everyone heads to the window to see him fly. "...THAT'S not good" Sam said putting his hat back on with the crystal in his paw. "...Oopsie" Pinkie whispered in fear. To be continued Light and Darkness (Based on the instructions on how to built that grill you bought last summer)As the moment calms down, our heroes gather around in a circle. "Well" Said Sam, "I guess now's a good a time as any to call your princess friend" "Wait, what was THAT all about?" Spike asked. "A question I demand an answer to!" a voice boomed frightening Fluttershy into the underside of Max's Desk. "OW! NYAAAH! PINCHY KNEE, PINCHY KNEE!" Pinkie cried falling to the floor. Just then, a large, red, balding, horned monster with the legs of a goat, pointed tail and a round jaw appears with a pale, white, smaller one with pointed buck teeth in a fancy outfit from a burst of flames. Fluttershy takes a look at them before retreating behind Sam's desk trembling. "Well?" the big monster asked in the same voice. "Holy jumping monkey pirates on unicycles stealing blue ribbon pizzas and farmer's daughters at the state faire cutting through a nearby church picnic to get away from the farmers, Batman, I mean Sam, I mean Max" Sam said, "It's our old pals, Satan and Jurgen" "Uh...Which one's which?" Spike asked hiding behind Pinkie looking like she almost wet herself. "The little one's Jurgen" Sam responded. Clearing his throat, Satan starts pacing back and forth. "Now then" he started, "Clearly, from the looks of your guests, the events of that ridiculous prophecy of his brought him back to life. Which means one of you has that bliss prism thing. I'll let you figure that out yourselves" "P-p-p-p-p-prophecy?" Pinkie asked mustering the courage to talk. "P-prism?" Spike added. "Is that all you wanted to tell us?" Sam asked adjusting his tie. "There is just a few more things" Satan answered snapping his fingers. Two creatures appear from another burst of flames. One appears to be made up of an orb with arms and legs with a head that appeared to be an upside down egg wearing what appears to be a wrestling mask and boxing gloves. The other appeared to be an armless being the same color as Jurgen wearing a propeller hat, a red shirt with a large white star on it and long legs that appear to have blue soles to his feet. "Whoa, what the crap!?" asked the short creature. "This task may be a little more for one madcap duo to handle alone" Satan explained. "So you just summoned one close to being, if not exactly, as mentally equipped as us for the job from Free Country USA" Sam speculated. "ANOTHEW cwossovew with the ponies!?" the tall creature asked, "And it's with the Wabid Dog and Bunnyman" "Freakin' Telltale!" the short creature groaned. "Jurgen will be monitoring everything in this quest" Satan explained. "I assure you all that the ramifications for failure will be MOST pleasant" "Promises?" Max beamed. "And for the sake of certain parties I have made it my business not to mention by name, tidy up in here!" he said catching fire. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Sexual Harassment seminar to conduct" He disappears in the flames. "...I-i-i-i-is he gone?" Fluttershy asked slowly moving out from behind the desk. "Alright, who is who" Jurgen asked. Clearing his throat Sam begins. "Well, you remember Max" he started. "Ja, ja" Jurgen responded, "You both used the body of my monster to kill me and now I work for Satan" "Right...Anyway" Sam continued, "This pink pony is Pinkie Pie, her little friend is Spike" "Hi" Spike said laughing sheepishly. "And the Flying Nun over there is Fluttershy" Max added as Fluttershy approaches the group, "So, Strong Bad, how's tricks and who's your friend?" "Oh, hey, Max" the short one said, "Yeah, this is that Homestar guy I told you about" "...Why do things always get weird EVERY TIME I GO FISHING!?" Pinkie shouted trying to contemplate what just went down. The room went silent for a moment. "Well" Sam said breaking the silence, "We better call your princess friend and bring her up so speed" He taps on the crystal a few times and Twilights image appears above. "Oh good, you got the crystal out!" Twilight said in relief. "Yes, and-" Sam said before Twilight interrupted. "Now then" Twilight started with book in magic range, "There are a few key passages in the prophecy" "Called it!" Max exclaimed. "You freak me out, little buddy" Sam added, "Now would this prophecy-?" "Please don't interrupt" Twilight said giving a slight glare at the two. "No disrespect, highness, but you-" Sam responded before Spike jumped on his head. "What prophecy?" Spike asked trying to calm down from the passing moment. Clearing her throat, Twilight begins. "The first key passage is, 'the shark-mouthed rabbit shall present the Pink One with a natural liquid that contains the remains of the Hyublis' So, Max-" "Check" Max said stopping her. "Now before you continue-" Sam said before Twilight started again to his chagrin. "The Hyublis shall emerge from the liquid desolating the item it was sealed in from the Pink One's touch" "Check and oopsie" Pinkie replied. With an annoyed look on his face, Sam point's to the ceiling and opens his mouth ready to speak before Twilight interrupts again. "Ad...A dark prince shall summon a-" She said starting to worry. "Doot-doot-doo, another one gets a check!" Strong Bad sang moving his arms to the beat. "...Max, do you still have that flag from Chapter 1?" Sam asked. Max hands him the flag and he starts waving it around. "You get used to it" Fluttershy said patting Sam on the back. "...This all happened and you picked NOW to call me!?" Twilight shouted. "Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse US princess" Max said snottily putting the flag away, "It's been a busy chapter!" "Ooh, who's the dashing fellow in the fabulous ensemble?" Rarity asked coming into the projection. "I vas forced to come here!" Jurgen said in a huff. Spike groaned giving a dirty look to Jurgen. With a sigh, Twilight continues, "Anyway, Applejack and Rainbow Dash already knew this before the incident, but within your supplies is a flask of a potion that will transform you into parallel versions of yourselves" "I'm gonna have to walk around as a dog again, aren't I?" Spike asked still angry with Jurgen. "Afraid so" Twilight replied. "What about us?" Fluttershy asked flying up to the image, "What will WE turn into?" "Spike, will fill you in on that" Twilight explained, "But here's what you need to know about it thanks to some volunteers, one sip will change you for 2 minutes. 3-5 sips will keep you in the form for an hour. Half the bottle, 3 days, the whole thing, indefinitely. One last thing, if you happen to find any information on the prophecy, bring it back to Equestria. Good luck" The projection fades. Moments later, the team is down at the De Soto. Max digs out a flask of purple liquid and hands Spike who takes a sip and passes it to Sam. "Well, bottoms up, girls" Sam said giving it to Pinkie who passes it to Fluttershy after taking her sip. Suddenly, the girls become tall, fleshy creatures similar to Jurgen except not as beastly and their colors are retained along with outfits that appear on them. Their shirts bear their respective Cutie Marks. Noticing they're standing on their back legs, the two topple over. "...Holy puffy marshmallow-paved roads on the hillside of a lake in the park in Hoofington!" Pinkie shouted looking at Fluttershy. "W-what ARE we?" Fluttershy wondered. "We don't know the actual name of them" Spike admitted, "But Twilight and I call them Parallels" "Hee-hee, Spike's a doggy!" Pinkie giggled noticing her front hoof and how it can change shape. "...Um...Homestaw, I mean Stwong Bad, did the two howses tuwn into hot giwls and their dwagon became a puppy aftew dwinking that stuff?" Homestar asked. "...Blarg...Brain...Split...Halfey..." Strong Bad said trying to think about it before passing out. Just then, some music is heard across the street. "...So...Now what?" Sam asked putting the cork back on the potion. "WHEE, ICE CREAM!" Pinkie squealed running off to the music's source. "PINKIE, WAIT!" Spike shouted chasing after her, "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO RUN!" "Heh, why not?" Sam asked walking over to them, "I could go for a Fudgey Freeze" Everyone else walks off leaving Fluttershy and an unconcious Strong Bad. "...Help" Fluttershy said trying to stand. To Be Conti- "WAIT!" Oh, not again! "The first chapter of this Hubba Hubba Zoot Zoot hot mess of a Fan Fiction blessed with MY awesomeness and we end it like THIS!?" Please don't do this. Could you PLEASE cooperate? "No freakin' way, man!" "Please tone down on the language...And why are you talking to yourself?" "Shut up, Elsie Ethrington!" You know what? Fluttershy suddenly gains the strength in her back legs and runs over to the others and Stong Bad bursts into a puff of lingering smoke that reads "Next Chapter will be worked on in January!" "Hey Smoke Bad, wants you some sewious Dip 'em Dots?" To Be Continued! "Aw Man!" "...What just happened?" Author VS an actual Cool Guy: A Hugh Bliss' Revenge Fan Fiction (Because I have plenty of time to say both syllables!) By Strong BadA group of dorks and ponies gather in the field...Oh, and there was a baby dragon with them. "You crap me up, little bunny" Said the Rabid Dog, "That's 'You CRACK me up, little BUDDY', egghead!" "You talking to me, Max, I mean Sam?" "No, cakehead, I think Strong Bad got pissed at the end of the last chapter so he took over the keyboard!" Dang skippy, and I'm takin' it out on ALL yalls! "Wait" said the son of Trogdor, "Who...? Never mind, the potion couldn't have worn off THAT fast!" Huh? Whoa, what the hay do you think you're doing in here!? Suddenly, a cape-ed ponyman with a cool hat engsmsploded nearby! "Zis is going to be interesting" said Count Lameula! "HEY!" The Bunnyman starts spewing Twizzlers at the Ponyman like a demon from Hades! Dodge them as he might, nothing could prepare him for engsmsploding into the King Of Town! "So, that's how you're gonna play?" Asked the Ponyman suddenly sounding like the King Of Town, "Then come on, let's rumble!" ...Aw, MAN! Why'd I pick the King Of Town? Now he's just...Eating Bunny Twizzler Puke! "Not the MOST adorably discussing Max-related thing I've seen!" Ew! Rabid Dog, you NASTY! "Well it's true! This one time, he-" THE HEAVY LOURDE FALLS ON THE RABID DOG AND IT KILLS HIM! "Aw nuts!" "YOU BASTARD!" The Bunnyman- Uh-oh! Hey, HEY, I was just kidding- WHOA! CRAP! DAG, YO! OW! MOMMY! staRnk baT ESS eN sAm e Ko me d Bka3 2 lYpH. hIiii go]Tenn' stong! "Thanks, little buddy! Now move that adorable little keister of yours over while I take the helm of this literary mess!" DUNSAI LITAORAY-A,;LI.'.ZZXZ AIHET DA KARPLAK........#@$%^! TEE HEE! "Oh boy, here I come!" "Mind changing me back?" "Sure thing, lemme just get up here..." "WHAT'S HAPPENING!?" "Asked the yellow Pony Girl transforming into her hot, not-pony body...Oh, guess I...Gotta be at the keyboard for that to happen" *Ahem!* The group is suddenly transported to Central Park. The sky above was overcast by a parade of blimps. The transportation caused Lock to return to normal. "Thank you!" As the others sat around enjoying their frozen confections, I began looking up to the sky on the bench with Strong Bad still in his gaseous state. "What!?" "Don't say gaseous" Max said to my narration. As I sat there taking a bite of my Fudgey Freeze, I started to imagine what it would be like to pilot one of those suckers...Though Max and I already did so in a show we did in the hay days of American Saturday Morning programing...But that doesn't count. The thought about it buzzed in my head like bees in a hive a hive after Max ate their queen smothered in the honey they worked so hard to make...Well, speak of the devil. "BO-RING!" Pinkie Pie said. "Well then" I said in a stern tone, "Let's see YOU come up with a transition!" "Okie-dokie-lokie" 09q2[2'po/klwaa;oui8u8i2o0o93['aop[poled "...Here, let me get your parallel counterpart out here" "I can do it! I can do it TWELVE times!" "T-t-TWELVE!? WAIT! NO! STOP!" "FUN! FUN! FUN-FUN! FUN-FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN-FUN! FUN-FUN!" "Mother of Celestia...What have you done!?" "Twelve-Times-A-Day Man! A-DO-DOOT-DOO-BA-DOOP-DOOT! HONK!" "HOMESTAR, YOU'RE NOT FREAKIN' HELPING!" "WE MUST PWOTECT SENITOW PENCILFACE!" "CRABADONK!" "Bubs? What're you doin' here, man?" "I was installin' fake you won ads to random websites when I found that this chapter goin' cuckoo!" "MAKE IT STA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" "FUN-FUN! FUN-FUN!" "Uh...UGH...GUH...THE PINKIES TURN INTO SEAGULLS!" "MINE! MINE! MINE-MINE! MINE-MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE-MINE! MINE-MINE!" "WAAAAAAAAAA-! Wait, why the crap did that work for YOU!?" "Because I'm the author! SAM!" "I'm on it" "WE'S HAVIN' FRITTERS!" "I don't think a bazooka is the answer this time" "Aw" "...Oh, all right, just one" "BANZAI!" After blowing up one of the seagulls, the other ones disappear and...You want I should bring who you wanted down here? "I don't care anymore, clearly I lost control of this chapter" Alrighty then. Here you go. "Ooh, the pizza's h...Wait a minute, somethings' not right...AGH!" "What's eating YOU?" Max asked the familiar looking lady. "Well for one...I'M IN MY UNDIES...! In...Central Park? I could've sworn I was at MY place playing video games with Rainbow Dash!" "Trust me, I've had a weirder day than you have. I started out as a cheesey drawing of myself in a paper-like environment, killed by an anvil, brought back to life by my little buddy and now look where we are!" "Why am I here?" "Under the orders of this pony in the Man With No Name get-up asked me to summon you so you could help your parallel self write something in here" "Hmm...Well, I'm dressed for it, so...Can't think of a reason NOT to!" "Hey!" Okay...Pony me is transported back in. "What!? I thought I was supposed to be in charge of it this time?" Aren't you pretty much doing so through me? "Hmm...Good point, me, keep going...I'm usually dexterous on those things though...I wonder why it didn't work this time?" "Comical effect" "Oh" Ooh, you can attach videos on these. "No, don't touch that! Oh, what've I done?" "Um...Excuse me, I'm still the main antagonist of this fan-fic, right?" "WHO LET YOU OUT OF THE NEXT CHAPTER!?" "I WANT MY MOMMYYYYYYYYY!" "Oh great, now ze bird horse is freaking out...Remember? I'm here too!" Ew, girly vampire! "You did NOT seriously just turn me into a mortal!" Now everybody run around this corridor chasing the luchador boxer while I play this a couple of times! "Okay!" "DON'T ENCOURAGE HER, BLI- Oh never mind!" "Uh-oh!" "I got Stwong Bad!" "Uh...Close, you caught Carl from The Aquabats! Super Show!" Wait, who said this one? "I'M IN THE WRONG CROSSOVER! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" "THAT IS IT! I'll fix this!" "You promise?" "...Sure" "Fine..." ...Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Strong Bad's back in the sattle! "Crabcakes!" "Curse my trusting nature!" And then, after the mighty William Flex-My-Pecs had slain the dragon, his totally serious long-time girlfriend, Princess Not-A-Flying-Horserson said- "THAT'S IT, I'M GETTING MY PARTNER INVOLVED!" WAH! ZOMBIE HORSE! We got a problem here? "Strong Bad, meet my parallel counterpart. As a pony, my capablities are limited, so he usually operates things I can't...And YOU'RE in his seat!" Crap. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" "Sorry about that, everypony, we'll get this mess straightened out. And we'll make sure the forth wall is modified so that this doesn't happen again. Well, see you next year!" PrologueIn New York City, things seem to have calmed down after the Super-ego incident. President Superball commissioned the city be repaired like new from all the carnage caused by recent years of events, mainly, those involved with the local Freelance Police who decided to test out the underwater features of their De Soto. While driving around in the Hudson River, they came across a mysterious glowing tunnel. Curious about what adventures that await them on the other side, the two look at each other. "Care to see where the opening credits take us?" asked the little silhouette. "Let's" replied the driver. As they enter the tunnel, a series of words that reads "Sam & Max in...Hugh Bliss' Revenge!" appears after spinning clockwise out of it. Under it is another section that reads "Based on the 2012 Feel-Good Romantic Comedy Action Epic, Sam, Max and...Pinkie Pie?" The following appear as they drive through the rainbow-colored glow of the tunnel. Executive producers: Lock Target, Jaden Von Bat Chief Writer: Majida "Sizzle Bandicoot" Bandikuto Additional writers: Fauna the Adlet and Fireball. Editors: Hayley Irona Cloud "Hay" Flower and Nenshouhi "Burn Bandicoot" Bandikuto. Franchises created by Bonnie Zacherle and Steve Purcell respectively
Chapter 1: Sam and Max come to Equestria (Based on an extremely rare bubble gum card)One day, after delivering a cake to Cheerilee, Pinkie decided to take her raft and go fishing. "Gee, I hope I don't wind up on a confusing Island adventure like last time" she thought to herself. Suddenly, Pinkie felt a tug on the line. Her catch pulls her back to shore where it is revealed to be a strange submarine with wheels. The top part of it opens revealing a six foot tall dog-like creature in a suit and fedora and a similar-looking creature who was three feet tall and resembled a bunny with bear teeth emerging from the it. "Well, here we are in...Wherever that tunnel took us" the dog creature said to his companion. "This place is so colorful and peaceful" the bunny creature replied, "And it gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling in side just standing around...Wanna see how long it takes before we unwittingly change that?" "Can't think of a reason not to" the dog creature answered. "I can" a worried Pinkie added exiting her raft. "Ah, a local" the dog creature said acknowledging Pinkie. "So who are are you guys?" Pinkie asked freeing her hook from the Submarine's bumper. "Of course, where are my manners?" the dog creature replied clearing his throat as his rabbit-like friend jumps onto the hood, "My name is Sam, and this is my little buddy, Max. We're Freelance Police" "Freelance what?" Pinkie asked reeling her rod up. "Ooh, her mane is so fluffy" Max comments pulling out an electronic razor, "Let's shave it!" "Mind your manners, bucket head, we don't want to make a bad impression to this- Sweet expecting momma in an '86 ferrari driven by a ghost down route 66 on a Saturday night in July!" Sam exclaimed, "You're a talking pony!" "...And YOU'RE a giant doggy in a suit and HE'S a bunny!" Pinkie pointed out after a brief pause. "Lagomorph" Max added, "And YOU'RE a...And HE'S A...I'M a...Guess I lost this round of...Whatever it was we were doing" "...Anyway" Sam started, "We just arrived from an underwater portal. Maybe you'd like to show us around?" "Okie-Dokie-Lokie" Said Pinkie as the two go ahead of her. Stopping Max, she brings him closer. "What's a ferrari?" she whispers. Moments later, the two follow her to Fluttershy's where she stops then turns to them. "Why'd you stop?" Sam asked. "This is the first stop on our tour" Pinkie replied, "My friend, Fluttershy lives here. She's so nice. She has a thing for caring for animals and-" "Wait!" Max shouted sniffing around pulling a knife out, "I smell a cat somewhere!" "Oh, Angel, there you are!" Fluttershy shouted suddenly hugging Max making him drop his knife, "How many times do I have to tell you not to run off like that?" "You...Must be...Fluttershy!" Max grunted causing Fluttershy to stop and turn him around. He then waves at her. "AGH! YOU'RE NOT ANGEL!" Flutterhy cried dropping Max and hiding behind Sam who she notices making her yelp moving over to Pinkie, "Who are you two!?" "These are my new friends, Sam and Max, they're Freelance...Policies, or something" "Police" Max said in an annoyed tone. "What are those?" Pinkie asked. "You mean to tell me you don't have people who risk their lives to keep civilians safe from criminals and wrong-doers of all shapes and sizes?" Max asked back. "...You're...Bounty Hunters?" Pinkie wondered. "...I guess that's the simplest way of describe it" Max answered pulling out a white flag to wave around. Sam clears his throat. "You say you lost your pet bunny, miss?" Sam asked kneeling down to stroke her mane. "Um...Yes" Fluttershy said calming down. "Well, you heard the lady, Max" Sam said standing up, "Let's find that rabbit!" "Stay with the group!" Pinkie shouted stopping them. As they make it into town, they stop again. Gesturing them to wait until she gets back, Pinkie leaves. Clearing his throat after a while, Sam asks Fluttershy, "So when was the last time you saw your pet?" With a sigh, Fluttershy starts. "I was fluffing his tail when a strange sound scared him off. I searched everywhere from my cottage to the edge of the Everfree Forest" "Well THAT narrows it down" Max groaned sarcastically, "So what's our tour guide got in store for us?" "My guess is she's going to grab her welcome wagon" Fluttershy replied "A welcome wagon? How quaint" Sam comments. "Please don't say 'Quaint' again" Max requested. Pinkie returns 5 seconds later with her Welcome Wagon. "Sorry to halt the tour, boys" Pinkie said as Fluttershy walks over to her, "But I gotta make this official" As Pinkie goes through her routine, Fluttershy hears a rustling in the bushes. She goes to investigate it only to find it was a bunny, but not Angel. "Oh, I'm sorry" Fluttershy sighed, "Have you seen a white bunny with curlers in his tail?" "I got him right here" Applejack said walking over to her, "The little critter was spooked to- WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS DAIRY-BASED IS THAT!?" "...Um...Pinkie Pie's Welcom Wagon?" Fluttershy assured her. "Not that, THAT!" AJ said pointed at the batter-covered Sam and Max. Pinkie pops out from behind saying, "These two are Sam and Max, they're bounty hunters" "Uh...Howdy?" said AJ. "...Max, I mean, Sam, if I don't shave one right now, I'm going to lose it!" Max claims in an edgy tone. Looking to his left, Sam says, "Why not take it out on that guy?" "CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!" Max shouts exiting the batter and wielding the razor. "...You gonna eat that?" Asked Sam pointing to the impression Max left behind. "I'll get to it later!" Max replied in a distance. Moments later, the girls take Sam to Twilight's house where they find Rarity about to knock on the door. "Oh, hello girls" Beamed Rarity, "I'm just here to go over designs for Twilight's dress for the upcoming ball and" Just then, she notices Sam who waves at her. "Oh, who is THIS strapping fellow?" she asks. Just before Sam could answer her, Time Turner appears with patches of his mane and coat missing and starts knocking on the door frantically. "PRINCESS TWILIGHT, PRINCESS TWILIGHT!" he shouted. Twilight opens the door. Inside, she, Spike and Rainbow Dash are sitting down to lunch. "Can I help you, sir?" Twilight asks. "THERE'S A CRAZY RABBITY-THING TRYING TO SHAVE ME!" he said, "It's using what it took from my mane for a moustache" "Get-a back-a here!" Max shouts in an italian accent, "I'm-a not done with you!" Before confronting Max, Twilight notices Sam. "...Could somepony bring me up to speed here?" Twilight asked as Max shows up making Time Turner run away. "You can expect to be on the same page by the next chapter, your highness" Sam says tipping his hat and bowing. The girls are left with a confused look on their faces. To be continued.
Chapter 2: So it is written (Based on a Mayan Prophecy about Sam and Max blowing up the Earth)Where we last left our heroes, they had just ran into the two most unusual indeviduals they have ever met. Pinkie wanted to give them a tour, but they wound up taking them to Twilight. "...And that's the whole story" Claimed Sam. "...You found a glowing tunnel in your world and it took you to our lake?" Twilight asked in a tone of disbelief. "Yep" Max replied, "Just a regular day to us. So, go any good shooting galleries around here?" Sam places a hand on Max's shoulder. "I don't think they even know what a gun is, little buddy" he said. "Well, why don't we educate them?" Max asked uplling out a tiny cannon with a handle on it. "Put that away, applehead!" Sam yelped, "The last time we introduced weaponry to a peaceful world, it started a war!" "You started a war in a world similar to our's!?" Twilight shouted. "WE'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE!" Max snapped firing a shot in at the ceiling. "...You'll have to excuse him, your majesty" Sam said with a sigh, "...He's nuts" "Believe me, I know the type" Twilight replied glancing at Pinkie momentarily, "And by the way, I'm just a princess in TRAINING, not a full-fledged one" "There's a difference?" Sam asked. "Never mind" Twilight groaned, "So, your curiosity is the ONLY reason you're here?" "Either that or there's a prophecy to it" Max answered, "Probably, 'Two beasts, one who resembles a brown dog garbed in grey, the other, a rabbit with the mouth of a shark shall come to our world' or something like that" "Don't jinx it Sam, I mean, Max" Sam pleaded in a chagrined tone. "So it is written by the author, Sam, so it shall be" Max responded trying to sound spooky. "...Wait, which one is who again?" Spike asked. "He's Max, and I'm Sam...I mean, HE'S Sam and I'M Max" Max answered. "For some reason, we get our names mixed up sometimes" Sam added, "But we manage to correct ourselves" "...Um...Okay?" Spike said after thinking about it. "CAN WE GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!?" Rainbow Dash shouted, "...Sorry, me and Twilight-" "Twilight and I" Twilight said. After giving Twilight a lingering "Don't start with me, Sparkle" look, she continued. "...We were ABOUT to have lunch before the girls showed up with you guys. Then we had to focus on you and you go on about underwater tunnels and prophacies...Something about a Super Ball or something- I DON'T KNOW!" "Maybe...You should, um...Eat something?" Fluttershy suggested. "...That might help" Dash said taking a bite out of her sandwich. "Case and point" Twi sighed. "My condolences" Sam said shaking off his jumpiness, "Would your majesty object if we show a couple of your subjects with us for a while?" "Yeah" Max added, "Maybe President Superball would like to meet some ombudsmen from this little trip?" "...Heh, it's adorable how he uses words he doesn't know the meaning to, isn't it?" Sam asked rubbing Max's head. Moments later, Sam, Max, Spike and the girls are back at the lake, Spike is inside the vehicle with an abundance of supplies. Pinkie Pie is absent. "Alright, girls, the De Soto's all set" Sam said giving a thumbs up. He then jumps into the driver seat as Max enters the passenger side. "Okay, Applejack" Twilight started, "You and Rainbow Dash are going to a world similar to the one I went to in the Sunset Shimmer incident. Keep in mind that in the three days I was in THAT world, I didn't study much about it, so you might need to rely on these two get you through most of it. I'm sending Spike with you in case you want to send a letter back here" "You sure that's gonna work, Twi?" AJ asked. "Hmm...In case it doesn't, take this" Twilight answered pulling out a rotund crystal. "This is a Contact Crystal. It'll allow us to speak to each other using my magic as a beacon. It's similar to a device they call a 'phone', except it will work on an interdiensional way...I hope" "And if you should bring back any souvenirs, make them...A little hygenic?" Rarity requests. "WAIT!" Pinkie said as Fluttershy rolled her eyes, "WE FORGOT TO THROW A GOOD LUCK IN THE NEW WORLD PARTY!" she cried as she tripped knocking the crystal out of AJ's hoof into Spikes claws then bouncing herself and Fluttershy into the De Soto on top of him. Sam shuts the De Soto and they set off back to their world. Regaining her hat from Rarity's face as a disoriented Twilight stood unresponsive of the incident, AJ takes a look into the water. "...That can't be good" she said after a pause. Suddenly, Zecora emerges from the Everfree Forest. "The demonic roar that filled my ears, what I have witnessed confirmed my fears" she said in a distraught tone. "Fears?" Twilight asked. "This day is a woeful one to behold, one written in the days of old" Zecora answered with her head hung low, "According to writings way back when, the Hyublis shall soon rise again!" "...What exactly IS a Hyublis, sugarcube?" AJ asked. With a sigh, Zecora gives Twilight a book and a scroll. "Take these and you will know, we'll meet again at your home, for now, I must go" she finished reentering the forest. "...If the first part of that is what Max theorised, I'll eat one of Rarity's hats" AJ claims. Unfurling the scroll, Twilight skims it and lowers it to look with a discomforting smile. "Uh...Rarity, do you have one made of straw?" she chuckled sheepishly. "Oh, um, I DO have this sombrero I can't do a THING with, a-ha-ha-ha" a terrified Rarity said trying to help Twi lighten the mood. "...Anypony got any katchup?" AJ asked with a seious uneasy look on her face. To Be Continued
Little Ponies in the Big Apple (Based on the movie adaptation of the sitcom)As Twilight reads the book, Rarity starts pacing while Rainbow is reading Daring Do and the Ring of Destiny and AJ is eating the Sombrero as they all wait for her to give them the information. Twilight puts the book down as the girls pay attention. "So, what's up?" RD asked as she puts a bookmark in and places the book aside. "The inscription goes like this" Twilight started taking a deep breath, "Two beasts, one who resembles a brown dog garbed in grey, the other, a rabbit with the mouth of a shark shall come to our world. The dog creature will have slain the Hyublis once before in their world in boiling water. They leave with a baby dragon, a Pink Earth Pony and A Yellow Pegasus" "That's downright spooky" AJ said finishing up the top part of the sombrero. "And rather convenient" Rarity added. "...Spookvenient?" Rainbow said thinking about Pinkie at that moment. Everyone stares at her for a moment. "...That's it, I'm making this an eatin' game!" AJ proclaimed, "Everytime somepony has a Pinkie Pie moment, I'm takin' a bite outta this! Anypony wanna join in? This rim looks like it'd last a while" "Whatever this Hyublis fellow is CAN'T be good" Rarity said nonchalantly ignoring AJ's invitation. "Hmm" Twilight though about this. Suddenly, she remembered, "While I was looking for the book about the chest, I came across a history book saying something about such a monster" She clears her throat and continues. "Some time between Discord's first imprisonment and when Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon, she and Princess Celestia battled him for a gem known as the Prism of Boundless Bliss. That's all I know so far" She then looks behind her. "Spike, write a ltter, we need to warn Luna and Celestia about-" She said before remembering Spike was with the away team, "...Oh, right...Excuse me for a moment," "...BITE!" Rainbow said as she and AJ get ready to take a bite of the rim. Meanwhile, Sam and max had just brought Spike and the girls to their dimension. As they exit the De Soto, the trio begins to observe their whereabouts. "Wow" Spike said, "This looks almost like Manehattan...Only...Bigger" "And louder" Fluttershy whimpered. "UGH! And stinkier!" Pinkie groaned waving her hoof in front of her face after getting a whiff of the nearby cart crash's smoke. "Yep, home, sweet home" Sam proclaimed. "Allow us to show you around and ultimately get on a completely different subject all together" Max added, "...Seriously, writers, what the crap?" "SUCH LANGUAGE!" Fluttershy said with a gasp. Max's paw suddenly goes blurry for a moment as he gave a gesture to Fluttershy with an annoyed look in his eyes. Sam sighs in chagrin rubbing his eyelids. Suddenly, Spike's belly starts glowing blue. Opening his mouth, an image of Twilight forms from the light that escapes it. "Girls? Come in! I-" Twilight said before looking around, "...Why is my image being projected out of Spike's mouth?" "Hey, just be glad it ain't comin' out the other end" Max commented. "While that might be a sight to see, I think your little dragon friend swallowed your magic cell phone thingie" Sam said stepping up to the image, "But don't worry, we'll get it out of the little guy" "You think Sybil's still trying her hand in operating on mythical creatures?" Max asked, "Preferably a lobotomy for Sister Marry Buttercupcake over here?" "Do NOT make me give you the STARE, mister!" Fluttershy snapped stomping her hoof on the ground. "Don't provoke her" Pinkie added, "SHE'LL DO IT!" Twilight clears her throat to break up the argument. "I think I have a less painful...And less expensive solution the problem at hand" Sam said after an akward pause. "When you do, tap on the crystal to tell me" Twilight instructed, "It'll flash and I'll use my magic on this end to activate them" "I just hope it works" Sam said with a quizzical look on his face, "What with Hugh Bliss not of this world anymore" "Hugh Bliss...? Hugh Bliss..." After saying this for a moment, she suddenly realized with a gasp, "HYUBLIS!" "Yes, that's his name" Sam said wondering why it took so long to understand. "You don't understand!" Twilight said starting to hyperventilate from doing her calming motions Cadence taught her. "Take it easy!" Max said shooting Twi's astral projection a couple times. "Sorry, but you see-" Twilight started before Rarity started panicing and running around her, "R-Rarity, calm down, you're ruining my concentra-!" the images disappear. "Well THAT doesn't sound good" Spike said, free to talk again. "We better act fast so we can see what that was all about" Sam suggested pulling the keys out of his pocket, "Hop in" Moments later, the gang makes it to Sam and Max's Office. Sam rummages through his desk to find a trinket of a face with a rainbow coming out of its mouth. "Ooh, pretty!" Pinkie said looking at the item, "What is it?" "This talisman grants its holder the power of Gastrokinesis" Sam said looking at it adjusting his hat, "...At least I HOPE it still does" "What's Gastrokinesis?" Fluttershy asked. "In laminate's terms, you get to make people throw up" Max answered. "You look like you have a LOT of cool stuff!" Pinkie said looking through the desk. "Memorabilia from our adventures" Sam explained, "Should the occasion arise, I kept the more useful items in my inventory from the games- I mean, the cases to assist in a situation such as this" "Okay, but what about the rest of this stuff?" Spike asked looking around. "Same thing, but these are just for show" Sam said walking over to him, "Now hold still, this might take a while" As Sam started to extract the crystal from Spike, Pinkie got curious and walked around. Max follows her to the closet. He opens it and shows her a jar. "You remember that Hugh Bliss guy your friend was freaking out about?" Max asked. "Yeah, but you shouldn't be too concerned about it" Pinkie told him, "She worries about lots and LOTS of things, like this one time, back when she was a Unicorn, she paniced because she didn't give Princess Celestia a lesson on friendship! She went to everypony she knew to find a problem to solve and use a lesson from THAT, but then she tried to make the Cutie Mark Crusaders fight over her old doll which became an enormously huge, entire-town-in-total-chaos, Princess-has-to-come-and-save-the-day problem. THEN there was this time-" "MY TURN!" Max said interrupting her, "Anyway this is what's left of him after Sam boild him and I drank him. Have a look for yourself" He then hands Pinkie the jar. "...I don't think I want to" Pinkie said with a grimace. "Could you keep quiet for a moment?" Sam asked, "I need to focus" Just then, the jar starts to tremble. "...That's never happened before" Max commented as the jar explodes. The blast knocks PInkie into Spike making him spit out the crystal which Sam catches with his hat. The rainbow light that showed up with the explosion then forms into a tall, fleshy creature in a white suit with a white mane in a ponytail, mustache and soul patch and reddish pink eyes. "...Oh, how wonderful" the beast said in an unnaturally high-pitched voice, "I'm reborn! Just as the Mole people prophecised! This must mean the one with the Prism of Boundless Bliss has come to this dimension, YAY!" "Oh my" Fluttershy murmured at the sight. "Oh, I have get things ready for the search" he said flying away out the window with a rainbow trail behind him. Everyone heads to the window to see him fly. "...THAT'S not good" Sam said putting his hat back on with the crystal in his paw. "...Oopsie" Pinkie whispered in fear. To be continued
Light and Darkness (Based on the instructions on how to built that grill you bought last summer)As the moment calms down, our heroes gather around in a circle. "Well" Said Sam, "I guess now's a good a time as any to call your princess friend" "Wait, what was THAT all about?" Spike asked. "A question I demand an answer to!" a voice boomed frightening Fluttershy into the underside of Max's Desk. "OW! NYAAAH! PINCHY KNEE, PINCHY KNEE!" Pinkie cried falling to the floor. Just then, a large, red, balding, horned monster with the legs of a goat, pointed tail and a round jaw appears with a pale, white, smaller one with pointed buck teeth in a fancy outfit from a burst of flames. Fluttershy takes a look at them before retreating behind Sam's desk trembling. "Well?" the big monster asked in the same voice. "Holy jumping monkey pirates on unicycles stealing blue ribbon pizzas and farmer's daughters at the state faire cutting through a nearby church picnic to get away from the farmers, Batman, I mean Sam, I mean Max" Sam said, "It's our old pals, Satan and Jurgen" "Uh...Which one's which?" Spike asked hiding behind Pinkie looking like she almost wet herself. "The little one's Jurgen" Sam responded. Clearing his throat, Satan starts pacing back and forth. "Now then" he started, "Clearly, from the looks of your guests, the events of that ridiculous prophecy of his brought him back to life. Which means one of you has that bliss prism thing. I'll let you figure that out yourselves" "P-p-p-p-p-prophecy?" Pinkie asked mustering the courage to talk. "P-prism?" Spike added. "Is that all you wanted to tell us?" Sam asked adjusting his tie. "There is just a few more things" Satan answered snapping his fingers. Two creatures appear from another burst of flames. One appears to be made up of an orb with arms and legs with a head that appeared to be an upside down egg wearing what appears to be a wrestling mask and boxing gloves. The other appeared to be an armless being the same color as Jurgen wearing a propeller hat, a red shirt with a large white star on it and long legs that appear to have blue soles to his feet. "Whoa, what the crap!?" asked the short creature. "This task may be a little more for one madcap duo to handle alone" Satan explained. "So you just summoned one close to being, if not exactly, as mentally equipped as us for the job from Free Country USA" Sam speculated. "ANOTHEW cwossovew with the ponies!?" the tall creature asked, "And it's with the Wabid Dog and Bunnyman" "Freakin' Telltale!" the short creature groaned. "Jurgen will be monitoring everything in this quest" Satan explained. "I assure you all that the ramifications for failure will be MOST pleasant" "Promises?" Max beamed. "And for the sake of certain parties I have made it my business not to mention by name, tidy up in here!" he said catching fire. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Sexual Harassment seminar to conduct" He disappears in the flames. "...I-i-i-i-is he gone?" Fluttershy asked slowly moving out from behind the desk. "Alright, who is who" Jurgen asked. Clearing his throat Sam begins. "Well, you remember Max" he started. "Ja, ja" Jurgen responded, "You both used the body of my monster to kill me and now I work for Satan" "Right...Anyway" Sam continued, "This pink pony is Pinkie Pie, her little friend is Spike" "Hi" Spike said laughing sheepishly. "And the Flying Nun over there is Fluttershy" Max added as Fluttershy approaches the group, "So, Strong Bad, how's tricks and who's your friend?" "Oh, hey, Max" the short one said, "Yeah, this is that Homestar guy I told you about" "...Why do things always get weird EVERY TIME I GO FISHING!?" Pinkie shouted trying to contemplate what just went down. The room went silent for a moment. "Well" Sam said breaking the silence, "We better call your princess friend and bring her up so speed" He taps on the crystal a few times and Twilights image appears above. "Oh good, you got the crystal out!" Twilight said in relief. "Yes, and-" Sam said before Twilight interrupted. "Now then" Twilight started with book in magic range, "There are a few key passages in the prophecy" "Called it!" Max exclaimed. "You freak me out, little buddy" Sam added, "Now would this prophecy-?" "Please don't interrupt" Twilight said giving a slight glare at the two. "No disrespect, highness, but you-" Sam responded before Spike jumped on his head. "What prophecy?" Spike asked trying to calm down from the passing moment. Clearing her throat, Twilight begins. "The first key passage is, 'the shark-mouthed rabbit shall present the Pink One with a natural liquid that contains the remains of the Hyublis' So, Max-" "Check" Max said stopping her. "Now before you continue-" Sam said before Twilight started again to his chagrin. "The Hyublis shall emerge from the liquid desolating the item it was sealed in from the Pink One's touch" "Check and oopsie" Pinkie replied. With an annoyed look on his face, Sam point's to the ceiling and opens his mouth ready to speak before Twilight interrupts again. "Ad...A dark prince shall summon a-" She said starting to worry. "Doot-doot-doo, another one gets a check!" Strong Bad sang moving his arms to the beat. "...Max, do you still have that flag from Chapter 1?" Sam asked. Max hands him the flag and he starts waving it around. "You get used to it" Fluttershy said patting Sam on the back. "...This all happened and you picked NOW to call me!?" Twilight shouted. "Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse US princess" Max said snottily putting the flag away, "It's been a busy chapter!" "Ooh, who's the dashing fellow in the fabulous ensemble?" Rarity asked coming into the projection. "I vas forced to come here!" Jurgen said in a huff. Spike groaned giving a dirty look to Jurgen. With a sigh, Twilight continues, "Anyway, Applejack and Rainbow Dash already knew this before the incident, but within your supplies is a flask of a potion that will transform you into parallel versions of yourselves" "I'm gonna have to walk around as a dog again, aren't I?" Spike asked still angry with Jurgen. "Afraid so" Twilight replied. "What about us?" Fluttershy asked flying up to the image, "What will WE turn into?" "Spike, will fill you in on that" Twilight explained, "But here's what you need to know about it thanks to some volunteers, one sip will change you for 2 minutes. 3-5 sips will keep you in the form for an hour. Half the bottle, 3 days, the whole thing, indefinitely. One last thing, if you happen to find any information on the prophecy, bring it back to Equestria. Good luck" The projection fades. Moments later, the team is down at the De Soto. Max digs out a flask of purple liquid and hands Spike who takes a sip and passes it to Sam. "Well, bottoms up, girls" Sam said giving it to Pinkie who passes it to Fluttershy after taking her sip. Suddenly, the girls become tall, fleshy creatures similar to Jurgen except not as beastly and their colors are retained along with outfits that appear on them. Their shirts bear their respective Cutie Marks. Noticing they're standing on their back legs, the two topple over. "...Holy puffy marshmallow-paved roads on the hillside of a lake in the park in Hoofington!" Pinkie shouted looking at Fluttershy. "W-what ARE we?" Fluttershy wondered. "We don't know the actual name of them" Spike admitted, "But Twilight and I call them Parallels" "Hee-hee, Spike's a doggy!" Pinkie giggled noticing her front hoof and how it can change shape. "...Um...Homestaw, I mean Stwong Bad, did the two howses tuwn into hot giwls and their dwagon became a puppy aftew dwinking that stuff?" Homestar asked. "...Blarg...Brain...Split...Halfey..." Strong Bad said trying to think about it before passing out. Just then, some music is heard across the street. "...So...Now what?" Sam asked putting the cork back on the potion. "WHEE, ICE CREAM!" Pinkie squealed running off to the music's source. "PINKIE, WAIT!" Spike shouted chasing after her, "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO RUN!" "Heh, why not?" Sam asked walking over to them, "I could go for a Fudgey Freeze" Everyone else walks off leaving Fluttershy and an unconcious Strong Bad. "...Help" Fluttershy said trying to stand. To Be Conti- "WAIT!" Oh, not again! "The first chapter of this Hubba Hubba Zoot Zoot hot mess of a Fan Fiction blessed with MY awesomeness and we end it like THIS!?" Please don't do this. Could you PLEASE cooperate? "No freakin' way, man!" "Please tone down on the language...And why are you talking to yourself?" "Shut up, Elsie Ethrington!" You know what? Fluttershy suddenly gains the strength in her back legs and runs over to the others and Stong Bad bursts into a puff of lingering smoke that reads "Next Chapter will be worked on in January!" "Hey Smoke Bad, wants you some sewious Dip 'em Dots?" To Be Continued! "Aw Man!" "...What just happened?"
Author VS an actual Cool Guy: A Hugh Bliss' Revenge Fan Fiction (Because I have plenty of time to say both syllables!) By Strong BadA group of dorks and ponies gather in the field...Oh, and there was a baby dragon with them. "You crap me up, little bunny" Said the Rabid Dog, "That's 'You CRACK me up, little BUDDY', egghead!" "You talking to me, Max, I mean Sam?" "No, cakehead, I think Strong Bad got pissed at the end of the last chapter so he took over the keyboard!" Dang skippy, and I'm takin' it out on ALL yalls! "Wait" said the son of Trogdor, "Who...? Never mind, the potion couldn't have worn off THAT fast!" Huh? Whoa, what the hay do you think you're doing in here!? Suddenly, a cape-ed ponyman with a cool hat engsmsploded nearby! "Zis is going to be interesting" said Count Lameula! "HEY!" The Bunnyman starts spewing Twizzlers at the Ponyman like a demon from Hades! Dodge them as he might, nothing could prepare him for engsmsploding into the King Of Town! "So, that's how you're gonna play?" Asked the Ponyman suddenly sounding like the King Of Town, "Then come on, let's rumble!" ...Aw, MAN! Why'd I pick the King Of Town? Now he's just...Eating Bunny Twizzler Puke! "Not the MOST adorably discussing Max-related thing I've seen!" Ew! Rabid Dog, you NASTY! "Well it's true! This one time, he-" THE HEAVY LOURDE FALLS ON THE RABID DOG AND IT KILLS HIM! "Aw nuts!" "YOU BASTARD!" The Bunnyman- Uh-oh! Hey, HEY, I was just kidding- WHOA! CRAP! DAG, YO! OW! MOMMY! staRnk baT ESS eN sAm e Ko me d Bka3 2 lYpH. hIiii go]Tenn' stong! "Thanks, little buddy! Now move that adorable little keister of yours over while I take the helm of this literary mess!" DUNSAI LITAORAY-A,;LI.'.ZZXZ AIHET DA KARPLAK........#@$%^! TEE HEE! "Oh boy, here I come!" "Mind changing me back?" "Sure thing, lemme just get up here..." "WHAT'S HAPPENING!?" "Asked the yellow Pony Girl transforming into her hot, not-pony body...Oh, guess I...Gotta be at the keyboard for that to happen" *Ahem!* The group is suddenly transported to Central Park. The sky above was overcast by a parade of blimps. The transportation caused Lock to return to normal. "Thank you!" As the others sat around enjoying their frozen confections, I began looking up to the sky on the bench with Strong Bad still in his gaseous state. "What!?" "Don't say gaseous" Max said to my narration. As I sat there taking a bite of my Fudgey Freeze, I started to imagine what it would be like to pilot one of those suckers...Though Max and I already did so in a show we did in the hay days of American Saturday Morning programing...But that doesn't count. The thought about it buzzed in my head like bees in a hive a hive after Max ate their queen smothered in the honey they worked so hard to make...Well, speak of the devil. "BO-RING!" Pinkie Pie said. "Well then" I said in a stern tone, "Let's see YOU come up with a transition!" "Okie-dokie-lokie" 09q2[2'po/klwaa;oui8u8i2o0o93['aop[poled "...Here, let me get your parallel counterpart out here" "I can do it! I can do it TWELVE times!" "T-t-TWELVE!? WAIT! NO! STOP!" "FUN! FUN! FUN-FUN! FUN-FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN-FUN! FUN-FUN!" "Mother of Celestia...What have you done!?" "Twelve-Times-A-Day Man! A-DO-DOOT-DOO-BA-DOOP-DOOT! HONK!" "HOMESTAR, YOU'RE NOT FREAKIN' HELPING!" "WE MUST PWOTECT SENITOW PENCILFACE!" "CRABADONK!" "Bubs? What're you doin' here, man?" "I was installin' fake you won ads to random websites when I found that this chapter goin' cuckoo!" "MAKE IT STA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" "FUN-FUN! FUN-FUN!" "Uh...UGH...GUH...THE PINKIES TURN INTO SEAGULLS!" "MINE! MINE! MINE-MINE! MINE-MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE-MINE! MINE-MINE!" "WAAAAAAAAAA-! Wait, why the crap did that work for YOU!?" "Because I'm the author! SAM!" "I'm on it" "WE'S HAVIN' FRITTERS!" "I don't think a bazooka is the answer this time" "Aw" "...Oh, all right, just one" "BANZAI!" After blowing up one of the seagulls, the other ones disappear and...You want I should bring who you wanted down here? "I don't care anymore, clearly I lost control of this chapter" Alrighty then. Here you go. "Ooh, the pizza's h...Wait a minute, somethings' not right...AGH!" "What's eating YOU?" Max asked the familiar looking lady. "Well for one...I'M IN MY UNDIES...! In...Central Park? I could've sworn I was at MY place playing video games with Rainbow Dash!" "Trust me, I've had a weirder day than you have. I started out as a cheesey drawing of myself in a paper-like environment, killed by an anvil, brought back to life by my little buddy and now look where we are!" "Why am I here?" "Under the orders of this pony in the Man With No Name get-up asked me to summon you so you could help your parallel self write something in here" "Hmm...Well, I'm dressed for it, so...Can't think of a reason NOT to!" "Hey!" Okay...Pony me is transported back in. "What!? I thought I was supposed to be in charge of it this time?" Aren't you pretty much doing so through me? "Hmm...Good point, me, keep going...I'm usually dexterous on those things though...I wonder why it didn't work this time?" "Comical effect" "Oh" Ooh, you can attach videos on these. "No, don't touch that! Oh, what've I done?" "Um...Excuse me, I'm still the main antagonist of this fan-fic, right?" "WHO LET YOU OUT OF THE NEXT CHAPTER!?" "I WANT MY MOMMYYYYYYYYY!" "Oh great, now ze bird horse is freaking out...Remember? I'm here too!" Ew, girly vampire! "You did NOT seriously just turn me into a mortal!" Now everybody run around this corridor chasing the luchador boxer while I play this a couple of times! "Okay!" "DON'T ENCOURAGE HER, BLI- Oh never mind!" "Uh-oh!" "I got Stwong Bad!" "Uh...Close, you caught Carl from The Aquabats! Super Show!" Wait, who said this one? "I'M IN THE WRONG CROSSOVER! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" "THAT IS IT! I'll fix this!" "You promise?" "...Sure" "Fine..." ...Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Strong Bad's back in the sattle! "Crabcakes!" "Curse my trusting nature!" And then, after the mighty William Flex-My-Pecs had slain the dragon, his totally serious long-time girlfriend, Princess Not-A-Flying-Horserson said- "THAT'S IT, I'M GETTING MY PARTNER INVOLVED!" WAH! ZOMBIE HORSE! We got a problem here? "Strong Bad, meet my parallel counterpart. As a pony, my capablities are limited, so he usually operates things I can't...And YOU'RE in his seat!" Crap. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" "Sorry about that, everypony, we'll get this mess straightened out. And we'll make sure the forth wall is modified so that this doesn't happen again. Well, see you next year!"
PrologueIn New York City, things seem to have calmed down after the Super-ego incident. President Superball commissioned the city be repaired like new from all the carnage caused by recent years of events, mainly, those involved with the local Freelance Police who decided to test out the underwater features of their De Soto. While driving around in the Hudson River, they came across a mysterious glowing tunnel. Curious about what adventures that await them on the other side, the two look at each other. "Care to see where the opening credits take us?" asked the little silhouette. "Let's" replied the driver. As they enter the tunnel, a series of words that reads "Sam & Max in...Hugh Bliss' Revenge!" appears after spinning clockwise out of it. Under it is another section that reads "Based on the 2012 Feel-Good Romantic Comedy Action Epic, Sam, Max and...Pinkie Pie?" The following appear as they drive through the rainbow-colored glow of the tunnel. Executive producers: Lock Target, Jaden Von Bat Chief Writer: Majida "Sizzle Bandicoot" Bandikuto Additional writers: Fauna the Adlet and Fireball. Editors: Hayley Irona Cloud "Hay" Flower and Nenshouhi "Burn Bandicoot" Bandikuto. Franchises created by Bonnie Zacherle and Steve Purcell respectively
