Equines

by StarSprint

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Human
Length: 1169

Ryan was happy for the mostpart. He made decent money, had a decent house, was overall decent. Until his alarm clock talked to him.

A very slightly kinda realistic form of HiE.
Depending on what you consider realistic.

Ryan was happy for the mostpart. He made decent money, had a decent house, was overall decent.
Until, one night, his alarm clock went off. And talked to him.
And sent him through the glowing slinky of spacetime.

EDIT

Some things need to be said about the story, and why it's now on hiatus.
When I started writing this story, I had nothing planned. No storyline, nothing. So why does this matter? I'm not any closer now than I was before to having a proper story. I'm not going to take the story down, because I want to do something with it eventually. I'm dropping it for the time being, though, to work on another story. One that, you know, has a storyline. So that's something to look forward to. Once it has been posted, a link will be available here.

Inspired by Hands.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-17 01:32:25 UTC

One

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep...

I slammed the snooze button on my alarm. I was not getting up yet.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep...

Why wasn't it working? I hit the button again.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep...

"Oh, for God's sake," I muttered, sounding a lot like the War Doctor. I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. The scoreboard-style display read "HI RYAN."

Wait a second, that couldn't be right. It could only display numbers. I glanced at it again, more confused than before. It looked exactly the same as before. I sat up and glared at the clock. I said to the air, "This isn't funny. Whoever's doing this, you can cut it out now." At the same time as I spoke, the clock abruptly changed. The words "I THINK IT IS RATHER FUNNY" scrolled across the screen. I was more creeped out than anything at that point. I threw the blankets off and got out of bed, circling around to see if there was anything else odd happening. I walked to my computer desk and picked up my phone. The time read 00:00.

Which would be less odd if it operated on 24 hour time.

I slowly put the phone in my pocket and looked around the room again. There was nothing out of the ordinary, no unusual shadows, nothing floating around the room. I had no idea what was going on, and if some unknown being was going to kill me, I sure wasn't going to be in my pajamas when it did. I worked my way to my dresser, stepping carefully. I pulled out some clothes and changed into them, equally carefully. I went back to my desk and started grabbing random items I thought I'd want if I had to leave the house for a while.

Like maybe a few years.

I managed to shovel my wallet, an X-Gear knife, a Tenth Doctor's sonic screwdriver replica (It was a pen. Pens are useful.), my 12 hole ocarina based on the Ocarina of Time, a watch, a few books, a flashlight, some batteries, a charger for my phone with a wall-socket adapter, and a Bonk! Atomic Punch water bottle into an Adidas bag.

What can I say? I like video games.

I slung the bag over my shoulder and glanced back at the alarm clock to find that the display had changed again. It now read "WHAT ARE YOU PACKING FOR?" For the sake of humor I said to it, "Staying anywhere but here."

That might not have been the best idea.

A voice echoed through my room (can sounds echo in tiny rooms?). "Anywhere?" it said with a hint of amusement. "I think I know just the place." I probably should have taken the hint there. But nope, I'm an idiot. I looked down and saw the floor glowing beneath me. About a millisecond later it was gone and I was falling through something that resembled a big, glowing, square slinky, with glowing purple stuff in between the bits of the slinky, and was that...chocolate milk?

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH CRAP WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DEAR GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING-"

It went on like that for a while. After it finally ended, I looked for ways to entertain myself. I thought of getting a round of Slayin in on my phone, but decided against it. If I lived when I landed, that is if I did land, I was going to want to have a charge on my phone. With nothing else to do and acceptance of whatever the hell was going on finally setting in, I did the only thing I could think of.

Sleep.

I felt a jolt as I awoke to find myself still falling, though thankfully not through the glowing slinky of spacetime. What was less comforting was that I could see ground and I was heading toward it, fast. I swung my head around rapidly, looking for something, anything to stop me. There was nothing but me, the clouds, the stars, and that goddamned ground. There was only one thing to do.

I slapped myself repeatedly, and my brain started working again. Off to my right, I could see what looked like a town. Town. Civilization. People. Objects that could potentially prevent me going squish. I screamed "Somebody help me! I'm faaaaaaaallllllliiiiiiing!"

Moments later, there was a weird 'fwoosh' noise and I was glowing purple. I sighed internally. There were a lot of things glowing around here. I felt myself beginning to slow, and then slowly but surely I was drifting towards the town. Slower was definitely good. I relaxed a little bit, and suddenly, drowsiness began to set in on me. Man, I was tired. As I got closer and closer to the ground, I could make out shapes of people in the town.

At least, I thought they were people. Nearer to the ground, I saw they were nothing resembling people.

They were horses. Small horses. I'm fairly certain that that falls into the 'Weird Things' category of events that have occured in my life. Along with the giant glowing slinky of spacetime. That was something to remember. I shook myself to clear my head as I came to a very slow halt at the ground. Slowly, I brought myself to my feet, taking in the surroundings. I decided to make a list of Good facts and Bad facts, like they did in the Young Army in Septimus Heap. One: I'm alive. That's good. Two: There is civilization here. That's also good. Three: This town appears to be populated by equines. Not sure about that one. Four: I have no idea where I am. That's bad. Five: I was just sent flying through a crack in the fabric of space. That could be bad. Six: The townsfolk here are looking at my really funny.

They had gathered in a circle around me and were looking at me with surprised, somewhat suspicious faces. As I got a proper look at them I realized that they were some funny looking horses. Some of them had wings, some had a horn on their forehead, they all had tatoos on their flanks, and their coloring seemed to hit all hues in the rainbow, and they were hilariously small; most of them looked to be about three feet tall. I could see some of them whispering to eachother as they stared at me, and I looked down at myself. I was not in good shape. My clothes had several rips in them, most likely as a result of passing through the spacetime slinky, as I now called it. My hair was an absolute monstrosity; that I didn't need to see to know. I scanned the crowd, searching for an exit, when I heard steps behind me. I spun around and looked down to see a purple one with a horn and a purple mane.

"H-Hi," she said. "My name is Twilight Sparkle."