My Friend in Equestria

by MachoMagician

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Main 6, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 2288

My dear friend Walker has never watched My Little Pony, so I'm doing what any friend would do and sticking him in the thick of it with all of equestria. I'm just documenting what will ensue. Much science will occur, and many enemies will be

My Friend Walker hasn't ever watched a single episode of my little pony; I think it would be perfect to stick him every archaic pony related situation possible. I will ask him questions to get true to life opinions on certain subject matters.

Published 2013-12-29 19:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-02 08:43:34 UTC

Awkward Silences

Author's Note

As my friend, the real MachoMagician, couldn't write this story, he handed it to me. Call this a first attempt, very strange in nature, I had no idea if I did well. I would like critic review, but not overbearingly degrading.

-That was terrifying- Adam Savage.

Awkward Silences

With an applause, Celestia had finally finished reciting the newest of many economic changes. This signed piece of parchment now made any store guilty under the court of law if they turn down a potential employee based on yearly income. While Celestia knew it was futile to spar with the tyrannical giant of economy, it at least gave citizens hope. When the hooting and hollering died down, the guards took positions and prepared to escort the princess. She stood from her throne, took three steps, and balked. Everyone in the room stared at her. Celestia's response was a stern glare at the center of the massive room. The silence continued for several seconds until the air started to crackle with energy. A deep blue orb grew from nothing in the center of the room. It caused a few gasps at its appearance and many more when it began to grow, after breaching beach ball size, ponies began to worry it wouldn't stop. Celestia seemed to break from her trance like state as lightning arced from the orb, gouging lines in the pillars and ceiling. The princess called to all the guards and they proceeded to escort every pony out of the hazard zone.

Celestia contacted Luna telepathically,Crisis. Get here. NOW! With a pop and four soft thumps, Luna was at her side. "What is it sister?" She said sternly. Celestia only nodded towards the now massive orb.
Luna all but gawked at the pulsating thing. She stumbled as she digested it all. "You sense it too?" Celestia said, more as a fact than a question. "I scanned it to pair it with any known safe magic and spells, it doesn't comply to any," Celestia said, matter of factly, "I proceeded to evacuate the room in response to the possibly dangerous magic." Luna took steps toward the orb, but Celestia raised a hoof. "Should we try and contain it?" Luna responded. Celestia moved closer to the orb, even further than Luna had, concern etched on her sister's face, she plunged her glowing horn into the substance. The ball of energy stopped growing, larger than Celestia, it began to ripple. In a matter of seconds it was engulfed in a golden aura, she then moved on to pulling on it in all directions. Hoping to tear it into nothing. It however, was the orbs turn to respond. With a subsonic pop, the orb exploded, hurling the Princesses across the room.

Every window in the room, every monument to Equestria's history shattered and exploded outward. All but turned to dust in the low speed pressure-wave, it sparkled and gleamed in final glory. Filling the skies below in a cloud of diamond snow. Gaining a few oohs and ahs from a crowd of onlookers. Irreversible damage to all minor support columns in the room occurred, a film of dust covered every nook and cranny of the room.

Luna rose from the grey mass, coughing and hacking, she finally could breath again and wiped her eyes. The sight was odious. Soot covered the room, floor to ceiling, the most at the center of the room. A crater, five meters wide, marked the epicenter of the explosion. Luna looked to and fro, but couldn't see her beloved sister anywhere. She called, but no words left her lips. Taking a few steps towards the the epicenter,'she called once more, again no words left her lips. Frightened, she soon arrived at the conclusion of the explosion deafening her. This wouldn't help her search for she wouldn't hear Celestia call, and she may have impaired hearing also.

After wandering the edge of the crater, scanning the rubble, she saw a form twitch, Yes! She ran over calling her sisters name. Celestia turned in response, then froze. Luna ran closer, She ran further. Luna began to fret. She tried to voice her worries, but again, nothing came out. The buzzing still filling her ears. She stomped her hoof in frustration. The creature flinched as she did so. The creature started walking backwards,'away from what it thought to be a present danger. It passed a stray beam of light and Luna saw a wing in the gleam. She decided to contact Luna mentally, Where are you? No response. She tried again fear splayed across her face, no response. She began to lose hope, until a voice was heard, barely audible.

I am here sister, and I am undamaged. Relief flooded through Luna. Where are you sister? A pile of rubble shifted near the creature, startling it. Celestia rose from the rock and stone, unscathed. She turned her attention to the creature that lay before her, it just stood there digesting what it was seeing. Celestia took no time in seizing the creature. A gold aura enveloped the creature as it was flung into the air and suspended. Forty-feet from the ground the creature took one dizzying look at the ground and fainted. Luna and Celestia both just stared before realizing what had transpired, Celestia set the creature on the ground as gently as possible. She decided to clean it up, her horn aglow, she swept away the dust, an invisible wind carrying it off. What she saw startled her and Luna alike. It had a horn atop it's head, and wings upon its back. Another Alicorn? The sisters thought it nigh impossible, they hasn't created it...him, it was definitely a one now that they looked at it.

Luna prodded the the alicorn until Celestia held up a hoof. The alicorn had begun to stir. Shifting in their places, Luna and Celestia prepared to speak. The prostrate alicorn turned its heads to the Princesses, it's eyes shot open, the creature flipped and stumbled tree paces before collapsing. The princesses all but laughed, it...he couldn't walk.

With a snigger, Luna engaged in communication, "Hello" Rather simple, but she felt it could be understood. He stopped struggling and turned, mouth agape. Celestia was a bit flabbergasted at his response, quite rude actually. He then spoke, "Hot damn." His rolled in their sockets, the princesses frowned argue response, and he proceeded to fall unconsciously to the ground.

The Fifth Kind

The sun emerged from the skyline in a blaze of glory, the sky aglow in it's several shades if purple and pink. Truly a sight to marvel at, however, this was absolutely irrelevant to a small lavender mare in the town of Ponyville. A quaint town, with a busy community. Ponies are always found bustling along the paths, meeting and greeting and going on their merry way. The lavender mare called Twilight was doing none of these things. There are many businesses taking residents in Ponyville. A Sofa and quill shop, bakery, cafe, and a Library to name a few. All were open to the whole wide world for every pony to see, except the library. Upon the door lies a hastily scribbled sign marked "Do Not Distrub." Those that know miss Twilight Sparkle would know a dire situation was aloof, for she is rather specific about these kinds of things and wouldn't ever make a simple mistake such as that. Certainly not in spelling.

Miss Twilight Sparkle was scanning a scroll, upon the scroll is a very, very royal seal. She however, marked this as commonplace and was busy fretting over the contents of the scroll. Again. Her associate in paper trade, a dragon by the name of spike, was in a bit of a tiff with her about calming down.

"I AM PERFECTLY CALM!" Twilight seethed. With a twitch in her eye and her hair askew, she leered at Spike. He promptly shut-up. She then proceeded to enact her one sided conversation, of questions, towards Spike. All I can say is he was a right bit confused. The minute purple dragon would try and utter responses, but Twilight would shush him time and time again. Spike's silent prayers were answered when three sharp thuds droned in from the door.

The knocks continued until twilight intervened. "Good!" Twilight interrupted. She was already taking quick strides towards the chariot while the guard moved slowly from behind. With a stamp of her hoof she yelled. "No time!". She climbed on the chariot, gave the signal to lift off, and sped through the evening sky. Exactly leaving the guard behind.

Hurtling through the clouds at break-neck speeds, thanks to Twilight rushing the guard, they were making phenomenal time. All at the expense of the chariot pulling guard of course. With the strain obvious in his voice, the guard spoke up, "I don't know if we should've left that other guard behind."
"He has wings, he can fly on his own." Twilight smartly responded.
The guard, with a vein popping on his neck, turned his head and spoke through gritted teeth, "I don't think he can actually, I had to pull him to your library. He never said anything either, I found it quite strange." Twilight reflected on this and concurred, she then said, "Now that you mention it, he was walking very strange when I walked out the door. His helm was different than any I've seen." Nodding in agreement, the guard replied, "All Princess Celestia told me was that he was to be addressed as The VIP." At his mentioning of the name, all time slowed down. As the word sank in, Twilight's heart skipped a beat and her pupils dilated, she thought back to the letter.

---Earlier---
Dear Faithful Student,

We have a new guest in Canterlot, he arrived unexpectedly on unforeseen circumstances. He doesn't talk, nor respond to any communication we try to make. We are simply designating him the VIP. A chariot will arrive shortly. Others have been sent for the rest.

-Celestia-
---Now---

After watching what he assumed to be his ride fly away with a librarian, the incognito alicorn sat upon his haunches and reflected upon what in his days preceding now lead him to what he assumed to be, very concentrated narcotics. He hadn't ever tried any before, so he didn't quite know if it would hit him hard or not. After stamping his han-hoof, on the ground repeatedly, it occurred to him. "This may just be real?" He questioned aloud. Recoiling from his outburst of English, he tried again, "PooPooPeePeeKaKa!' He cheered, it seemed more a victory on the inside however as it was attracting unwanted (and rather disgusted) attention. Noticing this, he slinked away to the center of town, well, it was rather an awkward shuffle, but it got the job done.

Watching others as he passed, he began to fall in step with them, noting how it was like the Spider Walker from Star Wars Battlefront 2. As he looked elsewhere however, he realized his astute observation would yield blank stares. Everywhere he walked there was no technology of any electronic sort. This was rather distressing, never mind being a friggin' midget horse! The worry in his eyes and his gait, he decide some sugar would calm him down. Looking for a cafe to sooth his mind with caffeine he stumbled into the center of town. At the center stood a majestic fountain, an articulate and rather beautifully crafted statue of magnificent and rather grand horse lay atop of it. Spilling water from spout on it's body. He looked at the statue and laughed.

Passerby's noticed his blatant insulting of their elegant ruler and scowled. As a crowd gathered to watch a Royal Guard of the very statue he was laughing at, a pink pony from the crowd began jumping in the air, head barely reaching above the sea of onlookers. After she realized her persistence was futile, she began jostling and bumping through the crowd. Making her way to the front, she saw the hubbub. A pony was laughing his socks off for no reason, and she wanted to join in so bad. She walked over to the pony and blasted her confetti cannon right behind him.

---6.3 seconds beforehand--

Bursting with laughter over the fact that there was a massive statue depicting horses two feet tall, and the fact that he was one, he began doubling over. Tears streaming down his face from the continuous laughter and anguish, he was interrupted entirely by what seemed to be a thunderclap a foot behind him. Rather than recoil and yelp at the surprise, he did the more efficient thing and spun with a hoof swing for a blow.
---Now---

Near immediately after she fired the cannon, the pony swung around, hoof swinging and knocking the tip of the cannon round. Pivoting 180 at a rather forceful speed, it was like a kick of a ball. The over zealous pink pony being the ball of course. Sent flying, she responded with a yelp of joy as she soared through the air.

Coming into contact with what seemed a blue cannon with his hoof, it spun entirely around and sent the would-be assailant soaring, he winced as she got considerable air and hit the ground with a very, very dull thud. This spurred a gasp from the crowd and a muttering of apologies streaming from the disguised "Royal Guard" as he galloped toward the fallen mare. Noticing a rather dark patch of fur on the side of her head, he pointed a hoof towards a Pistachio ice cream colored pony with rather frazzled grey hair and bellowed, "Get a nurse here right away!"