The Priest of Nalarath

by Pigrangler

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Gore, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, Spike, Comedy
Length: 42269

Father Gregory felt he had a sense of repitition in his life. The same place full of color and noises. No not Equestria but close enough. Before giving a sermon, Gregory is killed and it just gets worse for him throughout.

First story ever so please go easy and give helpful criticism where it is needed.
This story is similar to Mort Takes a Holiday in that Gregory will have to collect souls. However any other relation to that story is completely on accident and I apologize deeply. This is just a story that's been sitting in my head for a while waiting to be let out.

Father Gregory, a Priest of Nalarath who is not too favorable of colors in general, is killed. It only gets worse for him from there. Death makes him a deal by taking him on as an apprentice. Now Gregory has to go to Equestria to collect souls for Death. In return, Death will give Gregory the soul of the person who killed him, so that he can personally judge their fate.

Father Gregory is a made up character and any relation to any persons whether real, living, or dead is pure coincidence

I own no rights to the Mort Takes a Holiday story and greatly encourage you to give it a read :)
I also own no rights to MLP or any franchise associated with such.
I have no rights....meh

Published 2013-12-02 14:50:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-19 08:06:03 UTC

Death works in mysteryious ways

Dark Void

When I awoke it was to this strange eerie sound assaulting my eardrums. The noise wasn't loud, just very constant and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get it to go away. Not that I tried that hard anyway. I opened my eyes to find...darkness. Of course. I look down and am surprised that I can see myself perfectly through the darkness. My black outfit actually shined in this weird dark world.

It's as if I'm the one giving color to this dark void. I shuddered at the horrible thought. The noise seemed to disperse when I shuddered. Whatever...now that that's over I guess I'll just float around for a bit. Suddenly I feel hard floor underneath my feet. I look but I don't see anything under them. I look up and notice something that was definitely NOT there before. Standing in front of me is a dark robed figure with a skull holding a scythe.

I would have screamed but something was wrong. The longer I seemed to look into the skulls face, the calmer I became. That's not to say I wasn't scared. I almost died! I was freaking terrified!

My last thoughts came rushing back to me and I realized that this made sense. So I'm dead and this is death come to show me where my soul will go huh? Whatever as long as its not hell or a place with too much color. A hell filled with rainbow fire. I shuddered involuntarily again.

"Father Gregory." Death spoke to me in a deep emotionless tone. Huh...thought he was a non-talker and I'd just follow him or whatever.

"Ye-yes." I responded with a shaky voice. I couldn't help it. I mean, I'm having a conversation with death! How am I supposed to remain calm during that?! Looking at him was fine but his voice just sent chills down my spine. I preferred him just being silent while I stared at him. ...Ok that just sounds creepy...

"High Priest to the City of Nalarath, 38 years of age, no form of lover? Cause of death assassinated by knife? I just nodded at that.

Death the stalker...go figure. I thought to myself.

" I Heard that." he mumbled. Ok that REALLY got me by surprise.

"You can read my mind?"

"In this world I can. My world. Welcome Father Gregory, to the land of death, the place between all worlds, the place where all must go to be judged. Welcome to your new home my apprentice."

I looked to my left...then my right...nothing. Just a bunch of darkness. OH GLORIOUS OF DAYS! NO COLOR! I'M FINALY FREE OF THAT COLORFUL SPECTRUM OF TORTURE NALARATH!. But wait...did he say apprentice? "Wait ...did you just call me your apprentice?To this he nodded. Well what do you know deaths apprentice... "So uh...what does that exactly entail? And another question, why me?"

"These last few decades I've been having trouble judging correctly due to more worlds popping up. So many new souls to collect and distribute...so much work..." He started off in that creepy deep voice of his. "So I need to have someone help me with the distribution of souls. Particularly in a certain....world. To answer your other question, I think you are the perfect candidate for that."

I felt my jaw drop slightly at that. Death is having trouble with soul placement? And he wants me? I become deaths assistant? Can there even be two deaths? "Why me?" I ask. "Out of all the souls why pick mine?"
.
He sighed heavily and looked into my eyes with his...skull sockets. Ok it was hard to tell where he was looking since he doesn't have eyes but I assumed he was looking into my eyes.
"Because Father Gregory, you have something inside you that will make you the perfect candidate for this job." He said casually. "You cannot stand color for prolonged periods of time. Because of that, you seek darkness, and when you seek darkness, its easier to find lost or hiding souls." He said all this while walking away, swinging his scythe. "And I have something you might want in return."

I raised an eyebrow at that. "What could you possibly have that I would want?"

Without speaking he reached into his robe and pulled out this...thing. It was peach colored and seemed to keep changing shape. It didn't seem to be made of anything solid, yet he held a firm grip on it while it struggled.

"This is the soul of someone still living. Or more so, a copy of it. The closer someone comes to death, the more the copy looks like them. This is how I track dying souls until they need to be collected and judged. Although some will try to hide from me." Death said as I eyed the strange swirling mist blob in his hand.

"Ok...so your going to give me a living soul?" I asked.

Death seemed to chuckle at that.

"Oh this is more than just a soul dear Gregory. This is the soul of the person that killed you."

My eyes shot open at the sudden revelation. There, in death's bony hands, was the soul of my murderer. I was filled with many mixed emotions, ranging from hatred, to sadness and confusion. I didn't know how to handle this information. Just as I was about to ask death what I would do with it he said, "If you help me, then when the time comes for this soul to be judged, I shall let you make the decision.

I only stared at him for what seemed like eternity. Could have been just five minutes but I couldn't tell because of the vast nothingness I was still in. Other than the fact that I was dead I would have loved staying here.. No color he-he. Hey wait what's that thing? I focus my vision further and see...a grey mist? Thought this one has more form and looks like a human.

Death turns to where I'm looking and sighs lightly. "One second." he says while putting the peach soul back into his robe and walking towards our new guest. When death is in front of him the soul seems to scream in pain. It had a faint likeness to that weird noise I was hearing when I first got here.

Before I could ponder further on that thought, death reached out to the soul and spoke. "Richard Fredrick. Age 25. Wife to Patricia Sellum and Father to Emily Sellum. Cause of death, burned to death."

Gone was his quizzical matter that he used to address me. He was all business know and he knew the drill and routine. The soul didn't say anything but it had stopped screaming and looked at death. Weird...I thought he would be all burned up or something? The guy looks fine.

When you die your soul takes on the healthier part of you when you were alive.

I hear a similar voice in my head. Oh great... now he can put thoughts in my head too! I decided to continue watching to see how he would judge this guy. I kind of felt bad for him...burned to death. Ouch.

Death slowly put one bony finger to the mans forehead and made a light screech that seemed to come from deep in his robe. He sat there like that for a few minutes making that weird noise. Ok now that noise was definitely what I had heard earlier! As I pondered that thought death stopped making the noise and slowly pulled his hand away from the soul's forehead.

"I see..." he said in that creepy monotone voice. "Burned to death for kidnapping children, putting them in your basement, raping and killing. You even attempted to rape your own daughter. Your Wife was wise to warn the people about you."

I stood there with a puzzled and irritated look on my face.A pedophile and a murderer? Really?

"For your crimes against the living, I hereby sentence you to your own personal hell." He said while banging his scythe down on the non-existent yet somehow still there floor. When he stopped his banging a red portal seemed to open up. There was a strange sound coming from the portal. It sounded like...laughing children?

"You will be forced for the rest of eternity to endure the same pain that you brought upon them. You will be cut, burned scarred, and raped daily by hell demons. You will know no joy. Only pain is your salvation." Death said in that eerily calm voice.

That got me worried. I mean seriously yeah he was a pedophile and that's bad. But to suffer that kind of torture? Before I could voice my opinion though, death simply kicked the soul into the portal of laughing "children".

As he was walking back to me I swore I heard him mumble. "Damn pedophiles..."

When he made it back to me, we just made that same eye to no-eye contact like earlier. He didn't say anything. Just sat there looking at me. Was he seriously going to just ignore that? Was he going to pretend I didn't just witness that?I looked harder at him to see if I could sense any deceit in his face.The problem is that death has the best poker face ever. Probably because he doesn't have a face to begin with... Oh yeah ...I finally decided screw it.

What else am I going to do for the rest of eternity? Sit and listen do Death complain some more about the troubles of his job? Or worse. Watch him judge again. I thought to myself.

He growled. "Oh right...the mind reading thing...sorry."

"Whatever. So you accept my proposal?" I nodded and he returned the gesture. "Good good. And for your information I would have done worse then yacking your ear off while I judged souls. if you decided to say no. I would have ripped the skin from your flesh while melting your bones like hot metal and force fed you your muscles." His eye sockets seemed to glow with a red fire at that last part.

"Erhm...O-ok then." I'm not sure if that's even possible but I didn't want to find out. He laughed at my discomfort.

"Relax my apprentice. You will learn to grow a more cynical type of humor when working with me." I nodded dumbly at that. Whatever...just go with it Gregory.

What have I gotten myself into?

He seemed to ignore that last thought as he kept talking. "Now before I send you on your way, I need to give you the proper materials.

"Proper materials?" I parroted at him He just nodded while reaching into his robe to pull out...another robe?

How the hell is he doing that?

"Two ways. One, my world so my rules. Two, my robe and the one I am handing you has an infinite void tucked deep within." He responded with a smirk. I guess? It's hard to tell but I think he's just making me think its a smirk. Weird...

"You can store just about anything in there. But be careful. Since your new to this, the robe isn't used to your body type yet. So anything you choose to carry will still have the full weight to it. . Except for souls, souls don't weigh a thing. It will still fit and all, so don't worry about that. "

"Wait what do you mean the suit has to get used to me?" I asked with a bit of sacredness showing in my voice.

"Well when you first dawn it it will act as a normal robe." He replied casually. "But after time it will start to fuse into you and become like a second layer of skin." Sensing my climbing heart rate he clarified "Of course you will still keep your normal skin if you so wish it. The suit will just help you grow into a more powerful soul finder/collector.This will later include your weapon. For now just use that cane of yours."

I had failed to realize that this hole time I was holding the dammed thing.

"Also, there's really no telling how long it will take since your the first to be given something like this. Could take weeks, could be years, you could go to a new world with all of your abilities attached. However time is precious and I cant take any risks."

I decided to stop him there. "Hold up...If I'm the first person to receive this, then how do you know it wont automatically adapt to me?" He stared at me for a second before responding.

"I should clarify. You are the first person given something like this from ME. When I first took on this look I was a normal human and I didn't have a lot of my powers. That reminds me..."

Having said that he reached into his robe with is other hand to pull out...a pair of gloves? Wait, not gloves but gauntlets. Long looking leather gauntlets with strange symbols on them. They looked like they would reach almost to my shoulders. The weirdest thing about them though was that one was a bright white that seemed to glow light and color while the other was a dark black that looked like it absorbed all color. Though they were touching it didn't seem to matter.

"Your training gauntlets." Death said, sensing my confusion.. "Until you can judge souls without them you will need them to help. I designed them when I first started to help me with the judging while my powers grew. There simple really, just touch a soul ready to be judged with the white glove to grant them favor into heaven and with the black glove to send them to hell. If you cant make a decision, touch them with both gloves and they'll be sent to the void of your robe to judge for later.. To view a souls former life you will have to find a different method." So he does acknowledge that happened! "I suggest prolonged eye contact. That worked for me until I lost my eyes... Also, I'm giving you the ability to judge without having to keep coming back here. Trust me...it gets annoying."

While he was talking I was already putting the robe and gauntlets on. The robe was too big and the gauntlets' fingers were too loose. Just after I had that thought I heard something pop and suddenly everything fit so well. "What the heck was that?" Death just stared at me.

"Your clothes need to fit otherwise they'd be pretty useless." Death replied. "Ok so now that all that's out of the way we can begin with sending you to your first world to start claiming souls. Oh and don't worry about not seeing them. Once you get there you will see the souls of all living and dead things. Their kind of hard not to miss. Don't forget to look in the shadows for the lost or hiding souls. And be careful, some of those souls are just scared things waiting to be collected."

With that he opened a portal and turned to me. "This world doesn't seem to have a lot of souls to collect because its mostly peaceful. I've been trying to collect here for a while but... never mind its not important. What is important is that you are now going to collect the souls. Ill be in touch with you soon so...Have fun Gregory!" Before I could ask what he meant he shoved me into the portal.

And of course the second that thought comes into my head I black out from pain as I slam into the bright green grass.

Ponyville

( During Gregory's meeting with death.)

As Spike and Twilight sat at Sugarcube Corner waiting for Pinkie to finish a batch of cookies, Pound decided it would be a good idea to start knocking at the table they were at. This surprised Spike who then shot up about ten feet. Twilight laughed lightly at his antics and put Pound in her magical grasp. She then lifted him over to where Pumpkin sat in a corner chewing on a wooden spoon. She giggled at him floating and dropped the spoon to go play with him.

Shortly afterword's Pinkie came bouncing from behind the counter saying she was ready to go. They trio all exited the bakery to collect Rarity from her Boutique. But not before Pinkie made a bunch of silly faces at Pumpkin and Pound who giggled at her in return.

"Ooh my gosh I'm gonna miss them so much! But that's ok because Mr. and Mrs. Cake assured me that they don't need a sitter because they're not going anywhere tonight!" Pinkie said while bouncing along with Spike and Twilight.

"That and you wouldn't miss a sleepover party for anything. Right Pinkie?" Spike asked with a slight smirk.

"Oh silly dragon! I wouldn't miss any party! Not on purpose anyway." Responded Pinkie with her cheerful attitude.

When the group made it to Rarity's they saw that Fluttershy was already waiting there with a torn sleeping bag under her wing, trying her best to conceal it. As they approached Twilight spoke up,

"Hey Fluttershy!"

The timid yellow Pegasus eeped at the unexpected voice and turned around to find some of her friends. Sighing with relief she greeted them back. Unknown to her, the sleeping bag she was carrying had fallen to the ground with a soft thud.

"Oh hi Twilight, Pinkie, Spike. Are you here for Rarity too?" asked the shy pegasus.

Twilight eyed the sleeping bag lying next to Fluttershy. "What happened to your sleeping bag? Did one of your animal friends get into it?" asked Twilight with a chuckle while levitating the bag.

"Oh no. Well yes. You see, I was just about to head out the door ready to leave when Angel grabbed my sleeping bag. He said there was something in there that he was hiding and forgot to retrieve before I left. I was about to reach in and get it for him when he just started tearing at my bag! He eventually got what he was after, a chewed up carrot. I gave him a light scolding and told him he needed to be carful with other peoples belongings. Honestly I don't know what had gotten into him." Fluttershy sighed before continuing her story.

"So anyway I went to wash the bag to get rid of the carrot bits. But I didn't know that angel had caused some tears during his search. So I decided that I should see if Rarity could patch up my bag." Finished Fluttershy with a gentle smile.

Twilight smiled back, "Well I'm sure Rarity can fix up in time. And just in case I have a few spares should they be needed. Right Spike?" She said while looking back at the dragon in question.

"PLEASE DONT MAKE ME CHECK AGAIN!" He yelled in surprise at her.

Twilight just rolled her eyes. "I'll just take your word for it. So anyway, how long have you been waiting her Fluttershy?"

"Oh not too long. A couple of minutes maybe. Rarity said she needed some time before she was ready. I guess she thought we were already heading out." Fluttershy said.

Just then the door opened to the boutique and standing in the center frame, was none other than Rarity. She had on a pair of ridiculously big pink sunglasses and a big decorative sun hat, with a small purple ribbon on one side. She was also carrying several bags in her magic. They looked heavy. Upon noticing Fluttershy and the others she smiled.

"Greetings girls! Oh and my little Spikey WIkey! Would you come here and give me a hand with these bags?" She asked in a slight accent that sounded like Canterlot nobility. Spike of course wasted no time in rushing towards her with his arms spread out to receive the bags. She let all of them go on top of Spike who only faltered slightly. With a grunt he turned to follow Rarity towards the others.

"Hey Rarity! I love love love your new hat!" Said Pinkie Pie while observing the hat with a look of fascination.

"Oh this old thing? Just something I haven't warn in a while. The good news is it hasn't gone out of season yet!" Responded Rarity with pride in her voice. Twilight then took this as her opportunity to speak.

"Well I hope you've got everything ready Rarity."

"Me too..." Groaned Spike as he touted Rarity's supplies.

The girls just laughed that off politely. Twilight then turned to Rarity. "You do know were only going for the night right? Why do you need so many things?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

Rarity just scoffed lightly and said "Well a lady must be prepared for anything to happen! And in that regard I think I am prepared for a most wonderful night! Now lets go get Applejack and Rainbow Dash from Sweet Apple Acres."

Twilight kept her eyebrow raised. "Rainbows at Applejacks? How do you know that?" She asked.

"Well earlier today Rainbow crashed in front of my house. She said something about a stunt going wrong and that she needed to do a dare with Applejack. Before I could ask further she just bolted off. I only assume she's still there." Said Rarity nonchalantly.

"Well I hope she's got her things" Twilight responded. Just then Fluttershy spoke up.

"Oh that reminds me. Rarity, Angel got into my sleeping bag before I could get here so its a little torn up. Do you think you could uh?..." Rarity just smiled.

"Of course dear." She said while taking the bag from Fluttershy in her magical aura. Rarity made quick work of the little bag and handed it back to Fluttershy for inspection.

"Oh it looks brand new! Thank you Rarity!" Fluttershy said with a genuine smile.

"Not a problem at all dearie. Now we should hurry and gather the others. We don't have very long until the train leaves and we will only have so much time to be together before the long train ride." Said Rarity as the group made their way to Sweet Apple Acres.

Sweet Apple Acres

(Shortly after Gregory's meeting with Death)

Applejack sat across from Rainbow Dash with a determined look on her face. The daring pegasus had made another bet with Applejack about who was the best pony. Not one to back down from a challenge, Applejack accepted almost instantly. The contest? Be a statue. The first pony to blink, talk, or move would be eliminated. Applejack was confused at first as to why Rainbow would issue such a silly dare. But she was confident that she could easily beat her.

As the minutes ticked by it didn't seem as if either one would give in. It was like watching a Metapod Vs. Metapod fight. Suddenly Rainbow had the sudden urge to sneeze. She tried to hide it to the best of her abilities but eventually the inevitable happened.

"AAAAACHOOOOO!" Exclaimed Rainbow Dash as she sneezed all over Applejacks face. Applejack didn't seem to mind as a smile grew on her face.

"Ah Win!" She said while wiping the snot juices from her face not caring.

"No fair! You made me sneeze!" Rainbow complained.

Applejack raised an eyebrow at her. " Ah made ya sneeze?" To this Rainbow nodded. "And just how in tarnation did you come up with that conclusion?" Rainbow rolled her eyes and made a face.

"I don't know how you did it but I know you did! I want a rematch!" Rainbow exclaimed.

Applejack just slowly shook her head. "No can do Rainbow. We ain't got much time left before the others get here."

A devilish smile came across Rainbow Dash's face. "What's wrong Applejack? You Chicken?" She asked hoping to strike a nerve and get a rematch. But it was in vain as Applejack just smiled at her.

"Nah I just know to quit when I'm ahead. Now come on and grab your stuff you left in the barn. We gotta get ready before the girls get here."

Rainbow just sighed and started to fly off towards the barn when she heard a strange noise. She couldn't quite identify it and started looking around for the source. She noticed that Applejack had heard it too. It sounded like-

BOOOOOOOM!

Both ponies turned there heads in shock to the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres. There, laying just past the front entrance in a newly made crater, was some strange creature neither of them had seen before.

Author's Note

So now Gregory will meet the main six

What hilarity will ensue?

What dangers?

Stay tuned to find out!

Colorful Headaches and Apples Galore!

Sweet Apple Acres

Gregory's POV

Pain...my everything hurts...especially my face...but mostly my everything...What smells like apples?...Voices?...They sound female...why do I taste dirt?

I groan and try to move my body but to no avail. I'm just stuck like this. I hear gasping next to me. Oh yeah I forgot about them. Whoever they are. Well at least I'm not alone in my suffering. I feel something prod at my head. I try to say stop but all that comes out is...

"Stpgugh...uuugh." I say while spitting out a mouthful of dirt. Tastes awesome by the way. (Sarcasm) It works though because whatever was poking me has stopped. Thank you god.

I decide that it's time to get up. So with some great effort I begin the slow process of rising to my knees. Hey It's working! The first thing I notice when I open my eyes after getting on my knees, is the green ground I landed on. I take a look around the small indent I made. Its shaped just like me.

I decide to look up from the ground to take in my surroundings an- OH GOD THE COLORS!!!...Well... at least it's sort of natural coloring. The colors seem to fit and aren't random like Nalarath. Everything is just so damn bright though! All the colors are glowing!Eh whatever. Just as long as I don't have to look at it all for too long. Or see any rainbows anytime soon...Or towns similar to Nalarath...

Looking to my left I see a dark forest of sorts in the distance. Well at least I know where to go for some solitude.. I thought happily. I look to my right and almost immediately regret my decision. Apple trees are everywhere. Thousands of apple trees! Thousands and thousands of trees bearing the bright colorful fruit of sin! That's not the thing that concerns me though. What does concern me are the...colorful, (horses?), sitting in front of me.

...I can see why death couldn't stand this place. Speaking of...I'm gonna have a chat with him about that. I thought to myself. Taking in the ponies in front of me I notice that the one on the left is orange with blonde hair, green eyes, a few freckles on her face, is wearing a Stetson, is called Applejack, this is her farm, holder of the Element of Honesty.Wait?! How did I know those last parts?! I've never met this horse! What kind of name is Applejack? What the hell is an element of honesty? And how does a horse own a farm? Surely there are humans here. I cant be the only one...right? Oh please let there me other humans...

The pony on the right is a blue horse with magenta eyes, has wings, her mane is...rainbow colored...(damn it), name is Rainbow Dash...(double damn it), holder of the Element of Loyalty. Again...where is this information coming from?! And why the hell is her mane a rainbow and her name Rainbow Dash?! WHY RAINBOWS!!! TOO MANY RAINBOWS! COLORFUL APPLES AND RAINBOWS! ITS MY OWN PERSONAL HELL! AAAAAAAAAAH! It was then I noticed that they were saying something.Makes sense that they'd speak I guess. Weird though...their facial expressions are so detailed. I decided to derail myself from my inner anguish to see what they were talking about..

"What kind of creature do yah think it is Rainbow?" Applejack asked. So I'm the first human they ever met... (triple damn it) that's three strikes! I've had it! I quit! Where's the exit?! Oh wait now the other horse is talking.

"I'm not really sure. But it looks like some kind of monkey thing. Whatever this thing is it's durable! I mean, it just made a crater outside your farm and doesn't look hurt at all! There's not a scratch on the thing!"
Really?

I look down and sure enough my clothes are still in tact. Now that I think about it, I don't feel as much in pain anymore. More so, I don't feel any pain at all. Well except for a light pressure in my head. I also notice that my cane is still gripped in my right (white) gauntlet. My cane is still its beautiful black color. And the gauntlet is still shiny and white. Not a spec of dirt on either. My robe doesn't seem to be effected by the ground either. I thought this thing would be coated in dirt or my own blood. I then went to feel my face with my left hand to see if there are any wounds when...leather. Oh yeah the other (Black) gauntlet. Well it looks like nothing happens if I touch myself with them. I wonder what would happen if I touched one of these horses?

I reach out to "Rainbow Dash" with my black glove to test my theory. Hey it works or it doesn't. I have to know! I lightly poke her cheek with an extended finger and...nothing. She just flinches and looks at me. Guess it only works on dead souls. That's probably a good thing then. Thinking of souls, there's some kind of blue wavy thing deep in her center. Guess that's the soul of a living pony.Well I think it's about time I got some answers. Before I can pull back my hand to explain myself, she grabs it with her (hoof?) and flips me over. Damn she's strong! Surprisingly it doesn't hurt. I only grunted loudly in surprise...I swear.

"What's the big deal? Why'd you touch my face?!" She said with a snarl on her face.

Oh she looks cute when she's mad!

Death? What the hell man help me out here! And why send me here in the first place?

Mmm naaaah. I think you got this one. And to answer your other question, I already told you. You seek the darkness, you find the souls. You have to learn to do this on your own so I'm just gonna give some random commentary to keep your spirits up. He-he get it? Spirits?

...Yah I got it. Also your a dick.

A least I'm not the one who got flipped by a Rainbow colored pony.

Touché. Wait pony? How come I wasn't given that information about them?

Robe Adjustments.

Oh yeah...

"Easy Rainbow. Ah don't think you should get too mad at it. Maybe that's just how it says hello?"
Rainbow had a sense of clarity wash over her. She let go and made a sorry expression while rubbing the back of her head. "Eh-heh sorry about that monkey."

"Hey no worries." They both gasped at that. Oh right this is the first time I've actually said anything since getting here.

"It can talk!" Both ponies said in unison.

"Yes. And I'm also not an IT. Nor am I a monkey. I'm a human." I respond to their rude outburst.
Why did they assume I couldn't talk?

Maybe because you're the first human they've ever seen.

That could be a good reason.

"Hooman?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"No. Human." I say back.
"That's what I said!" She exclaimed with defiance in her voice while crossing her fore hooves.
"No you said hooman. At least I'm pretty sure that's what I heard. So either you said hooman or I'm just hearing things. And trust me, I have almost perfect hearing for my age."

"Yah...almost." Rainbow responded. "Look that doesn't matter right now. I got some questions!" You aren't the only one Rainbow.... God I'm getting a migraine from just looking at her. I wonder If I could distract them to go off into that forest?

"Ok first off, who are you? Second, where are you from and why are you here? Third what's with your fore legs? And the most important question; If you could talk then why didn't you do that earlier instead of touching my face like a weirdo?" She asked while giving me a hard glare.

Try as hard as I might, I cant take her seriously with that face!
Not now Death. This pony wants answers and I need some darkness. So the quicker I answer the questions the sooner I can get away from her. I look her dead in the eyes with the most neutral expression I can muster.

"My name is Father Gregory. Er...I was a father." She raised her eyebrow at my name. Yeah like your names any better.. "I come from a land called Nalarath. Do to some...strange circumstances I have been sent here. As for why I'm here I cant say yet because I'm not so sure myself ."

Lying will get you no where.

I'm not totally lying. I still have no idea what to do with the souls I find. Plus...how can I tell them I'm a soul collector hired by death?

Don't worry you'll get it. Also...that's a good point. Keep lying my apprentice.

So I continue,"As for my 'fore legs', I'm assuming you mean my arms. They are like this because I'm wearing leather gauntlets. These gauntlets have special markings on them. They're just a type of clothing I wear over my arms"
She just nodded in understanding at that.
"Ok that just leaves why you touched my face? Also another question, why are your 'gauntlets' different colors?"

Oh crap how to explain this...

With more lies!

" I just wanted to see what would happen if I touched you." Yeah that's not creepy at all... And I'm sure she'll buy it.. "As for your other question, its uh...fashion statement?" I lied through my teeth.Please buy it...please buy it!

"Yeah I don't believe you." quadruple damn it!
"Ah don't either." Said Applejack with a frown on her face. "There seems to be a lot of holes in yer story partner. " Oh crap.

NOW YA FUCKED UP! I TOLD YOU LYING WAS A BAD IDEA!

DAMN IT DEATH! NOT NOW!

Still not to late to break it for that forest.

Oh yeah the forest. And technically I answered her questions. Wether they believe it or not isn't my problem. I would stay and ask my own questions but my head is seriously starting to hurt. Now I just need a distrac-

"AAAAPPPPPLLEEEEJAAAAACK!! RAAAAAAAINNNNBOOOOW DAAAAAASH!" Huh...that'll work. Sure enough they turn towards the source of the noise. While they weren't keeping focus on me I decided to head for that forest. It's about time too. These damn colors. I start to rise up onto my feet while gripping my cane. They don't seem to notice me sneaking away. I begin to slowly tip-toe away from the before breaking into a sprint towards that forest. IM GONNA MAKE IT! SUCK IT STUPID COLORFUL PONIES! Hey what's that weird feeling in my everything. And why cant I feel the ground?

I look down to notice...I'm floating? Since when do I float? Oh hey there's a magical purple glow around me. Is that the robes powers kicking in? ONWARD TO FREEDOM ROBE! I start to float towards the ponies. No! Wrong way! Wrong way! Bad magical robes! Bad! Much to my dismay my robes don't seem to react to my scolding as I'm still floating towards the ponies. Oh crap there's more of them...

Four more ponies and a (giant gecko?) had joined the two colorful ponies. Unfortunately, they were just as colorful if not more then the other two. TOO MUCH COLOR! CANT HANDLE IT! SENSORY OVERLOAD! I develop a massive migraine and shut my eyes. I'm about to pass out from the pain. But before I completely black out I hear one of them say;

"We should probably take this thing to the library to study it. Spike write a letter to Celestia telling her about this new creature. Were probably going to have to cancel the sleepover.I'm going to teleport us so ponies don't start asking questions. Hang on girls."
Thing?...Spike?...Celestia?...Sleepover?...Teleport?...Library?...Ok I cant stay awake any longer! Too many colorful thoughts! And with that I embrace sweet slumber.

Author's Note

So Gregory just had the most major color overload next to living in Nalarath.
What will happen at the library?
Will Death help out?
Will Rainbow Dash attempt to beat him up?
Why am I asking you? I'm the writer!
Stay tuned to find the answers to my own questions I made you ask!
I'm not weird I swear. I just...do some...not normal things...and have...not normal thoughts.

Q&A, Christmas Jokes, and More Adult Situations!

Twilight's Basement(5:00pm)

Gregory's POV

Oh god my head.... What the hell happened? Wait more importantly...why cant I move? I slowly open my eyes to find I'm in what I can only assume is a basement. Considering there's a lot of junk down here. And the stairs leading up are a good indication. I look to my left to see some weird machine making this irritating scratching noise.

Oh yeah that feels great for my headache. *POP*Oh so now you work...stupid robes. Whatever. That solves one problem at least. Now how about you allow me to move? ...No pop. Of course not. I guess I have to find out why on my own. I look to my left expecting some sort of restraint on my arm. Nope. It's just sitting there mocking me. Tempting me to try and move it.

You know how they say don't tempt a holy man? Well that's not me right now. I think I lost all the holy in me when I died and it was decided that THIS was my fate. So right now I'm using all sorts of mental strain to try and move. Come on...move. I'll take a finger! A twitch! A MUSCLE SPASM! ANYTHING! JUST MOOOOOVE! Nada...but wait... Looking closer I see a glow around my glove...Purple?

"I wouldn't try to struggle too hard. I have several layers of back up spells stacked on the one holding you." Said a voice in front of me. Turning back towards my center focus, I see a purple pony that wasn't there before. She has a horn, purple eyes, purple mane with pink streaks in it, is named Twilight Sparkle, personal student to Princess Celestia, wielder of the element of magic, likes long watch on the beach and daisies. WHAT THE HELL? WHY THAT LAST PART?

Because It's funny.

Ugh damn it death... I wish I was dead. Er...alive. Er dead....I WISH YOU DIDNT PICK ME!

Too bad, so sad, now stop bitching and being mad. And technically you are dead alive dead.

Wait I thought I was just dead alive?

Nope. You died and got sent to me. I judged you to collect souls for me. In order to do that, I needed you to be alive. But at the same time your dead. Meaning...you cant die. Not because you're immortal. But because if you do die you'll be brought back to life. Which you already are. So you'll basically explode.

...Dude what the fuck are you talking about?

Im just fucking with ya man! If you do die I can just send you back again.

Oh god I feel another headache... *POP* Thanks robes.

By the way. You might wanna look at Twilight. She asked you a question while your were lost in thought.

I WASNT LOST IN THOUGHT! YOU WERE THE ONE THAT CONTACTED ME AND KEPT ME DISTRACTED!!

Did you say something? Because It seemed like you just ignored my request to listen to Twilight and started bitching a lot. I certainly hope for you're sake that isn't what happened. Because I can make your experience much worse.

Oh yeah? How?

I'll throw you in a pit with hungry rats, laughing while they feed on your flesh. Then I'll heal you and begin to break every bone in your body one by one. I'll rip out you're eyes and SKULL FUCK YOU WITH MY FEMUR! NOW STOP GETTING LOST IN THOUGHT AND LISTEN TO THE COLORFUL PURPLE PONY BEFORE I GET PISSED!

UH....ok Death. I um...I'm gonna talk to her now! Don't hurt me! As I pull myself from my inner thoughts, I see Twilight waiting expectantly with a notebook and a quill in her grasp. "Well?" She asks with slight irritation in her voice.
"Well what?" I respond back. She gives a little huff. "I just got through explaining that I would give you more movement then just your neck if you can answer my questions honestly."

"Oh ok. ask away then. I'm starting to itch. Also, I expect a few of my own questions answered"
"Fair enough. Ok first question, what exactly are you?"

"Human." Scribble scribble. "Where are we?"

"My basement." Creeeeeeepy.

"What is your name?"

"Gregory." Eyebrow raised. Scribble scribble. Why does my name sound weird to them?

PAY ATTENTION!

"What's your name?" I already know that but I don't need to make this weird and say I already know that.

"Twilight Sparkle. Where are you from?"

"A land called Nalarath. The place is ungodly colorful and the people are way to cheery. May not sound bad to someone like you but trust me, after twenty-five years of it...it gets old. Or in my case, painful. What's that marking on your butt?"

"My Cutie Mark. You hate color?" I nod at that. "That's probably why you passed out earlier right?"

"Yeah. I can stand bright colors only for so long. You, your friends, and this world were too much color for me to handle. I'm just glad that this room is mostly dark. And the wood is a nice dark shade. You however are an eyesore." She gasps at that. "Not like that! You're the brightest damn thing in this room! Well maybe second to my right gauntlet. It hurts to look at you. The only reason I'm doing it is to not appear rude." She winces slightly at that

"Well you can look another way if you need to." I thank her and decide to look directly up. Just the inside of a tree. Natural patterns in the grove. Its kind of calming. I think I'll just look at this during the interview. "Ok so its my turn?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Well since you asked two questions I get to ask two."

"Fine just ask."

"One. What is a cutie mark? Two. Can you shut that machine off? It's getting annoying."

"First. A cutie mark is something a pony gets when they discover their true talent. Since you don't know what they are I'm going to assume you don't have one?" I nod. "Ok and as for your second question. No. I need it to make sure you don't lie to me. And trust me, you don't want to lie while hooked up to that machine." I raise an eyebrow at the ceiling but decide not to question it. It's not my turn yet anyway.

"What does your species eat?"

"Were omnivores. Though most of us choose to eat more meat then fruit or vegetables. I do anyway." I say in all honestly. The only thing now is the scribbly scratchy noise from the machine. I chance a look at Twilight to see her staring at me. 'What?"

"Y..you eat meat?" I nod. "Even though you can choose to eat fruits and vegetables?" I decide to stop her there. "I still eat fruits and vegetables. I just like to eat meat more." She cringes at that. Oh this is gonna be a while...

Twilights Living Room (7:16pm)

Spikes POV

Oh geeze. I hope nothing bad happened. Twilights been down there with that thing for hours now! I keep pacing back and forth in front of the basement door. She told me not to go in because she wanted to talk to it alone. I still cant believe it talks! I didn't believe it when Rainbow said it. But when Applejack confirmed it, that kind of sealed the deal. Applejack would never lie! Well...if she did it wouldn't be too hard to tell. But she had that trustworthy face when she repeated what Rainbow had said.

I think I should stop pacing. I'm starting to see a rut. While scratching my belly, I decide to stop and look at the girls waiting with me. Applejack and Rainbow dash are near the front door talking about something. Probably the creature. Fluttershy is listening to Pinkie talk about something. Probably cake. And Rarity...Is alone on the couch? I'm such an idiot! I was too busy pacing and worrying to notice that Rarity was by herself! I should go comfort her. She seems to be lost in thought

I begin to walk to Rarity and ask, "H-hey Rarity. Something bugging you?" She doesn't answer. She just sits there deep in thought. Wonder what she's thinking about? "Uh Rarity? You In there?" She blinks and shakes her head.

"Oh Spike! Forgive me, I was just thinking about how this day got ruined! We had this planned for weeks! Twilight had the perfect date set and we had all the necessities We were just about to leave when that...THING shows up and ruins everything! I was looking forward to spending time with you and the girls in Canterlot. But now...who knows how long it will be before we can reschedule?"

I grow a concerned look on my face. She wasn't the only one looking forward to tonight... I was going to ask her out. It was a simple plan to. When she would excuse herself to the bathroom down the hall, I'd volunteer to walk her. When there weren't any guards nearby I'd simply ask. And now that plan is shot out the window. But I'm not too upset that I didn't get to ask her out yet. I'm more concerned about her. All she wanted was a night with her friends to catch up and have fun. And now its gonna be who knows how long until all of us are free to hang again. Wait a minute...

Looking around the room I notice that we are all in the same room. Wether this was planned or not, we all ended up together. Well except for Twilight in the basement. But she's busy with that creature. Maybe I can cheer everypony up if we play a game? I'll ask Rarity. "Hey Rarity?" She looks at me. 'Although its not Canterlot, we are all under the same roof. And it is Saturday night. So why don't we just make the party here? Twilights got that thing locked up tight in the basement with a bunch of spells so it wont be getting out anytime soon. And everypony already has their sleeping bags so sleeping arrangements shouldn't be to much trouble."

Her eyes grew at what I said. "Oh my little Spikey Wikey! You so are smart!" To both my surprise and delight she kisses my cheek. I barely register what she said next because I'm busy rubbing the cheek she kissed with a smile on my face.

Twilight's Basement. (8:00pm)

Gregory's POV

So that's what kerfuffle means. Huh. Twilight had released me from my bindings after our q&a. I first had to promise her that I didn't eat ponies. And that I would make my diet strictly vegetarian. At the time, Death had interrupted saying that I didn't technically have to eat anymore. I would never grow hungry nor could I become full. I was so relieved with this news that I agreed to her arrangement. My heart rate was smooth enough for her to consider it truth.

To be honest, I would have loved to tell her to fuck off and get me some bacon. But there were several factors preventing me from doing so. Death for one. Two...do you really need another reason? When she had asked why I was here I simply said, '"Powers out of my control or understanding." She seemed to accept that answer and now were just sitting across from each other and having a normal conversation. I still can't look at her for too long but she doesn't seem to mind. It feels really good to stretch out my sore muscles.

After some time she said that we need to go upstairs to tell the others I'm not dangerous. I was about to bring up the color issue before she grabbed something in her aura and wrapped it around my head. A blindfold. Perfect! Why didn't I think of that earlier?

Scatterbrain.

Ignoring that I ask for my cane and a hand up. As I feel the cane enter my right hand, I grip it tightly. Its so calming to hold. I don't see color and I have my cane. This is a good time. Which means something bad is about to happ- CRACK

I walked right into a table. The corner had dug into my flesh. "FUUUUUUUCK!" I don't hear Twilight trying to calm me down. All I can focus on is the pain that-*POP*. Well...that works. I stop rubbing my leg and cursing. Unfortunately, I know for a fact that it can only get worse from here on out.

"HANG ON TWILIGHT WERE COMING!" There it is. Of course they had to hear me cuss. And now I'm in a very bad postion. I'm blindfolded in an enclosed space with a group of ponies about to come after me. Doing the only thing I can think of on short notice, I sit down. I'm not about to try and fight blind and make more of a mess. I'll just have to hope on Twilight being able to explain what happened before they can do any serious damage. I hear a door upstairs open. Moment of truth...

"GIRLS WAIT!" Huh? "It's okay! He's not going to hurt me! This is actually working? "He just ran into the table because he couldn't see. And he can't see because of the blindfold I put on him." Oh god how weird this must seem... In someone else's basement for a few hours. I have a blindfold on. I scream out in pain. I can only hope that there not thinking what I am. I am. Kinky thoughts for a priest. How creeped out they must be if they do.

Did you just ignore me?

The human you have dialed is unavailable at this time, please leave a name, number, and a message after the beep. BEEP

Oh hey Gregory It's me death. You know. Your boss? Anyway I was just checking in to make sure you were getting my messages. You see I was wondering if you were free next week-HEY WAIT A MINUTE! STOP IGNORING ME!

"The person you are trying to leave a message for has a full inventory. Please try to contact them at a later ti-"

GREGORY!

Oh hey Death. What's up?

Oh not much. Just sitting here judging some souls, and waiting for SOMEONE to get me the souls from a certain world I SENT THEM TO!

Sounds tough man. Hey I'm gonna have to let you go. I think the ponies are talking to me. I think, cutting off the connection with a smirk. "What are you so happy about?" Applejack asks. "Oh just a joke I remembered from Nalarath." I said. Before she can catch me on my lie, I suddenly smell something directly in front of me. It smelled like baked goods.

"OOH OOH OOH! YOU KNOW JOKES? I LOVE JOKES! LAY IT ON ME!"

That's what she said.

Seriously how old are you?

I'm ignoring you.

Whatever. "Eh...sure just let me try to remember it correctly." Oh crap I have to think of something fast! I remember a certain joke spoken by some delinquents near Christmas. A bit inappropriate for a Priest to be in earshot of. I wouldn't have even been outside if Susan didn't need help with her broken window. Oh well....she wants a joke. Wait they don't celebrate Christmas. They celebrate uh...Hearth's Warming Eve. Whatever just go with the original.

"Three men die on the same day at the same time. This day happens to be Christmas. Which is similar to you're Heaths Warming Eve. Anyway, they all ascened to the sky until they reach the pearly gates with Saint Peter waiting there for them. He says that they had all lived terrible lives and did not deserve access into the kingdom of heaven. But since it was Christmas, he would give them a chance to get in anyway. They just had to give him something that resembled the spirit of Christmas.

The first man reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a lighter. Flicking it on he says 'It's a candle.' Peter lets him in.
The next man pulls out a pair of keys and starts to jingle them. 'They're bells' he says. Peter lets him in.
The last man becomes nervous and starts to frantically search his pockets. Finally he pulls out a pair of women's underwear. Peter raises an eyebrow and asks 'What part of Christmas does that represent?' The man smiles and says 'They're Carol's'.

HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAAAAAAHAAAHAAA! OH It's been a while since I heard that one! Unfortunately Death is the only one who seemed to like it. If the silence I'm receiving is anything to go by. I start to grow nervous and feel a sweat on my brow. Then I hear something that gives me hope. A small chuckle slowly rising. More start to join in. Huh. I guess they were just a little slow to get it. Soon enough the room is enveloped in laughter.

Twilight's living room (10:30pm)

When the ponies had recovered from my joke, (Spike didn't get it), they invited me upstairs to join them. Twilight was kind enough to levitate me up the stairs. When we were all situated I told some more jokes. Most went over Spikes head. I threw in a few kid friendly jokes for him too though. Who would have thought that all it took to get on their good side was a few jokes? We also talked about a bunch of random topics. Rainbow wanted to know how tough I was. Applejack asked if I had any family I missed. Fluttershy wanted to know if I had a pet. Pinkie wanted to know what my favorite backed good was. Rarity asked me about my outfit. And Spike asked me to explain what I yelled in the basement when I ran into the table.

I told Rainbow that I'm not really that tough. I told Applejack that all my family was dead and I was the last of my kin. I told Fluttershy no but I was always interested in keeping one. I told Pinkie Pie. Get it? Ah damn it death is rubbing off on me. Anyway, I told Rarity that my outfit was given to me by a friend. Aw. I'm your friend now. And I just laughed Spike off nervously while saying 'when your older'.

Anyway its becoming past Spikes bedtime and Twilight decides to take him to bed. While she's gone I hear a bunch of shuffling and zipping. I ask what the noise is. Apparently, they had planned for a sleepover tonight in Canterlot. I think that's that city in the mountain to the North of here Twilight told me about. They had all decided that it be best if they just move the party here because of me ruining their original plans. Oops... I go to apologize when I feel a hoof on my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it darling. You didn't know about our plans. You also don't seem to be a mean spirit so we already know you're sorry. And I'm glad it turned out this way. I got to learn about a new creature and his fashion!" I just chuckled at that last part. When Twilight came down she offered me the guest bed. I gladly accepted and let her levitate me so I wouldn't run into any more furniture and wake up Spike.

Now its 1:27am. How do I know that? Magic robes. These stupid things woke me up by sending pain in different parts of my body just to tell me the time. I try to ignore the feeling of pain, but the more I ignore it, the worse it gets. Finally I throw off the covers and remove my blindfold.

"What is it?" I asked, irritated at my robes. Then I see it. Sitting in the corner of the room. Is a grey blob. It looks like a pony, only in mist form. It makes eye contact with me, and then starts to scream.

Author's Note

So Gregory just met his first Pony Soul.
Is this soul good like the ponies he's met so far?
Or is their a darker side of the ponies yet to be revealed?
More importantly, how will Gregory decide to judge this soul?
And will Spike ever learn the meaning of fucking?
Tune in next chapter for more answers and questions!

Uuh...I can Explain

Warning: The following chapter contains a scene of violence and gore. This is where the dark part of the story comes in. You have been warned.

Ponyville Hospital

"Congratulations! It's a healthy, handsome colt!"

"Oh my gosh!...A little Colt!"

"He's got your eyes honey."

"May I hold him nurse?"

"Of course Mrs. Logic."

"You were right Cosmic, he does have my eyes. But he has your mane."

"What do you think we should name him?"

"...Star Search."

Star Search's House (6 years later)

"Star Search! Come on down! You're going to be late for your first day of school!"

"Ok mom I'm up I'm up!." Said a young vibrant colt as he descended the stairs while rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes.

"You shouldn't have stayed up so late last night baby. Its not good for you." Scolded his mother in a gentle, teasing tone.

"I know but that book dad got me was so good! I had to know how it ended!"

"Well maybe now you'll have something to talk about with all the new friends your going to make at school!" Replied his mother with a warm smile as she began to trot back to the kitchen to finish making breakfast. Star Swirl followed her to find his dad Cosmic Thought sitting at the table reading todays paper. As he looked up from the paper, he greeted them both with a warm smile.

"Hey honey. Hey champ. You like that book I got you for your birthday?" He asked with a slight smirk already knowing the answer.

"Oh I loved it dad! I just finished it last night!" Said the young colt while hugging his dad and taking a seat at the table.

"Well I hope you were able to get some sleep book worm. Today is a big day for you! You don't want to miss most of it by sleeping it away do you?"

"Don't worry dad I got enough sleep!"

"That's good. Well I should be heading to work now. Thanks for breakfast honey. I'll see you both when I get home later tonight at 6." He then walked over to tussle his son's hair and give his wife Perfect Logic a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Have a good first day son!"

"Come on star eat your breakfast quick. We don't have much time until school starts and I don't want you to be late on your first day."

Ponyville school playground (12:17)

Mr. Sunny is a really good teacher. And there's so many nice fillies and colts here I think I'll like it here! Thought Star Search while he kicked a ball to a black unicorn colt, who then kicked it to a purple pegasus filly. Just as the ball was about to be kicked back to him he heard some one calling for him. He turned to the source and got hit in the face with the ball while he was distracted. He looked back to see the purple filly giving an apologetic smile with her ears down.

"Sorry Star. You should go see what Mr. Sunny wants huh?" Shaking off the slight headache, Star said he'd be back after talking to the teacher. I wonder what he wants? I hope I'm not in trouble or anything.

Star's heart rate increased when he noticed the teacher with a sad face while a pegasus guard sat next to him. Oh man I must be in serious trouble! What did I do though?

"Come sit down son...There's been an accident." Star was worried for himself before Mr. Sunny could tell him the news. Now he was worried for himself, his mom, everyone. He was so sad at the tragic news. At the end of the story Star Search was in tears at what Mr. Sunny had told him. His father was dead. And his mother was no where to be found.

Star Search's new house. Ponyville (12 years later)

Star, now a handsome young stallion living in his own home, stood pacing around a table. Across the table were several drawings of Equestria with lines connected certain cities and monuments. He kept pacing while looking back at the table trying to sense a pattern. He had be at this for hours. His eyes bloodshot and mane in disarray.

Two years after the incident with his parents, he had gotten his Cutie Mark. A consolation of a magnifying glass. He had found it when looking through a library to find anything of interest. His adoptive mother had suggested a book called "The Stars within ourselves." thinking it to be a novel. But it was a non-fictional documentary about the great mystery of space beyond and between the stars.

Most kids would be terribly bored of a book about stars. But Star Search couldn't seem to put it down. He just kept reading and studying all of the different consolations. After a couple of days he had practically memorized the book. When It became time to turn in the book, he grabbed it and began to leave his new house to head to the library While he was walking through the hallway in his new home he noticed a large mirror on the left wall. He had no idea why his new mom put that there but it was fun to make faces at it when he passed. This time he was prepared to meet himself with his tongue hanging out and his eyes crossed. When he focused again from the giggling he saw it. His Cutie Mark.

A lot can happen in twelve years. Including Star being accepted into Celestia's school for gifted Unicorns. He had graduated with flying colors and landed a job back in Ponyville as a Star observer. It was his job to map out any new consolations and keep watch for anything else that demanded attention. More specifically, another planet. The scientists' in Canterlot seemed to be obsessed with the idea of other worlds beyond our own. Many new developments had occurred that most ponies seemed to ignore. Star Search had marked every major occurrence since his first entry when he graduated and was given his first telescope from his adoptive mother.

Now here he sat, studying a different kind of map. He had to find her. Twelve years later and still no sign of his real mom. The guards had given up after four years saying it was a lost cause. They had put her as the prime suspect because she wasn't at home or even in Ponyville when they discovered Cosmic Thought dead in a pool of his own blood with a knife in his back. She was immediately labeled as the killer and hunted down for four years. With no leads though, the trail got too cold to follow.

Star however, wouldn't give up. He had to find his mother and prove her innocence. If she was still alive... He knew it had to be some other pony. And that pony was keeping his mother held up somewhere, doing who knows what to her. He had turned to studying maps hoping to find something. Nothing but false claims and dead ends. He had been at this for too long but was determined to see it through.

He let out a loud yawn and decided it was time to sleep. It had been a couple of days since he last slept and it was starting to catch up to him. He slowly turned and was about to head to his bedroom when he heard a knock on the door.Ugh...what part of 'Don't Disturb' do ponies not understand? Another knock.

"Ugh coming..." Star opened the door only to be hit directly in the face with a hoof. He blacked out instantly from the lack of sleep and sudden pain.

?????

Ugh...what happened? Where am I? What's that awful smell? Why does my head hurt? Suddenly Stars eyes shot open from something sharp poking his side. He tried to cry out but couldn't seem to open his mouth. All that came out was a muffled groan. Looking down to his leg he noticed he was shot with something. When he looked to the pony holding the needle he immediately regretted it. It was a green earth pony with a weird smile on his face.

"Well look who's finally up! You were real tired...you've been asleep for a couple of days in fact." Said the creepy pony while removing the needle and walking to a surgical table nearby. He dropped the syringe onto the table with a clank. Glancing at the table Star noticed many more sharp and painful object. Upon seeing these he let out a startled cry for help. The green pony just seemed to laugh.

"Poor deluded pony. Even without the muzzle you could scream all you want and no pony would hear. This basement is thicker then Canterlot castle. Oh and don't bother trying any of your fancy magic. Well...actually do try it. I wanna see what will happen."

Star just stared at the green pony. Why would he want him to use his magic? Maybe he was giving him a chance to escape. But why? Maybe he's just going to wait till the last second to strike before he can get away. Well I'll just have to wait. I'm not falling for his ploy. The green pony started to frown.

"I said...USE YOUR MAGIC!"

As soon as the words left his mouth, he lunged at Star with a hammer. He raised the hammer and began to mercilessly beat on his left foreleg. The pain was unbearable. Star could only sit there while his assailant continued to pound on his leg. Eventually there was a very loud snap causing Star to cry out.

The green pony had broken his leg. There were several bruises and bumps beginning to form. The worst part of the leg though was the broken bone sticking clean out on the other side. Star began to cry from the amount of pain he was in. Any more of this and he'd pass out.

With no other option he did as the crazy pony asked and powered up his horn only to be met with more pain. This time originating from where his horn would be. He felt something red and hot begin to leak onto his face. It was his blood. Star began to feel light headed. The green pony's smile grew back as he laughed at Stars pain.

"Ooooh It's like a pretty blood fountain! I knew I'd get some entertainment out of that!"The green pony cackled in excitement. He then pulled out a bucket from under the surgical table and pulled out Star's horn, waving it in front of him.

"Thought it would be a good idea to get rid of this first. I wasn't sure what to expect when you tried to use magic though. You are my first unicorn. Well...the first unicorn I got down here. There was a stallion in Ponyville a couple of years ago. I knew It would be to risky though so I just had to do a clean cut on him."

Stars eyes widened at that. A stallion in Ponyville? Could it be...this pony was his fathers murderer? Just as he had that thought, he felt another shot enter his system. He barely registered the pain from the needle. That pony must have shot him with more adreneline. Just then he felt his restraints...release? Because it was so unexpected, he fell and landed on his broken leg. He was still wearing the muzzle so his cry was muffled. Star looked up at the green pony with a confused look on his face.

"Ah don't give me that look. This is how I work. I break you and give you a chance. So here's how this works. There are exactly fifteen steps from that spot to the door. If you can make it to the door then I will stop your pain. Sound fun?"

It didn't sound anywhere near fun but he had to get out of here so he was willing to play his sick game. He started to rise on his good legs without putting pressure on his broken leg. After a big of struggling he finally got to a standing position. He took one step...then another. It took him forever to hobble to the door. Even with the adrenaline in his system he seemed tired. Wait...this bastard didn't give me adrenelin...He gave me anesthetics!

His vision was getting more blurry with each step. On the plus side, his pain was starting to subside. But that wasn't any reason to stop. If he stayed in here with this psycho pony he would surely die. Just two more steps... One more step... I did it! Before he could utter a groan of victory he felt a pressure in his chest. He looked down with dreary eyes to see a knife sticking out of his chest, attached to the hoof of the earth pony. the next thing Star knew was darkness.

The void

It's so dark here...wait...where is here? And what's that noise? Looking to his left Star saw a door standing open that revealed a hallway of bright light.. He had to shield his eyes from such abrupt brightness. With no where else to go and no pony in sight to ask for direction, he began to walk toward the light. When he emerged from the other side he was back in Ponyville. But he was in a tree in Ponyville. He remembered this place. It was the library. This was where he had gotten that book.

He decided to investigate the room when he heard a mumbling. Looking to his left he nearly had a heart attack at the creature in the bed. It was way to big for the small support frame. The blanket barely covered his massive size. I seems to be made of shadows other then its right fore hoof and face. Although....It doesn't really look like a hoof. More like a claw. Before he could take in more about the creature, it began to rise.

"Alright I'm up. What is it?" The creature then turned to look at Star. He did what any stallion would do in this situation. He screamed like a little filly.

Twilights house

Gregory's POV

So...that's what a dead pony's soul looks like... Thought Gregory as the pony screamed. God it's loud...I hope no one else is hearing this.

I AM AND ITS GIVING ME A HEADACHE! MAKE HIM SHUT UP!

"Fine fine just give me a moment." I start to walk over to the quivering pony when it suddenly stops. With a raised eyebrow I look down at the former pony before me. Before I can read off the information from my robes I feel a sudden surge in power as he shifts his gaze directly into my eyes.

Then I watch as his life flashes before my vision. When it's over I feel tears developing in the corner of my eyes. This poor stallion... I can end his suffering. I clear my throat and in my best impression of Death I say; "Star Search. Foal of Perfect Logic and the late Cosmic Thought. Age 18. No mare friend. Death by torture." I see the spirit nod it's head to confirm.

I continue; "I have seen your life and what it entailed. So much suffering for a simple pony. Your father taken from you at such a young age and being abandoned by your mother. Then of course recent events leading to your death. I am truly sorry your life was short and ill lived. However the afterlife will be one to enjoy. You will be reunited with your father in the kingdom of heaven. Go with peace young spirit. I grant you access." I'm about to touch his head with my white gauntlet when he stops me with a thought.

Please...before I go....Find my mother....I have to know she's ok....And also...find that green pony....and judge him to the farthest pit of Tartarus.... I simply nod at his request and touch his forehead. A white glow emits from the spot I touched and seems to encompass his body. A white light then descends from above and begins to drag the pony upwards. He smiles and waves a goodbye before disappearing. It wasn't until then that I noticed I was openly crying with the tears streaming down my face.

I decide to try and find something to wipe my tears. I look towards the nightstand at the side of the bed and see a box of tissues. After a couple of minutes of crying and wiping my tears I have the urge to use the restroom. As I stand up to head for the door I notice that it is slightly ajar. Oh no... My suspicions are confirmed when I fully open the door and see Spike sitting there with tears in his eyes as well. How much did he see?

Author's Note

How much indeed?
Will Gregory find Star's mother? If he does, how will Star know? Will he find Star's father and judge him?
Will he deserve the same judgment?
Who is this green pony? Is he somehow connected to the death of Gregory? Or is it just all a coincidence?
Will Gregory find this pony?
Can I have a soda? Please?
Ugh never mind I guess we will find out the answers in the next chapter!

Searching for Answers and Getting Questions/ Houses and Demons?

Ponyville: Twilights house (3:15am)

Gregory's POV

Poor Spike...

He hadn't seen me commit the judging. That's probably for the best that he, or anyone else for that manner, didn't see what happened.. I'm not sure what would happen if they did see...but I do know that I don't want to risk it. Spike only so happened to look into my room and see me talking to a spot on the floor crying, He didn't hear anything but he assumed I was mourning over a lost friend. I had to lie to the poor kid and say it was an old friend of mine.

Though it wasn't entirely a lie... I had been taken away from everyone in Nalarath and sent here. Just because I didn't like the place and I hated most of the people, that didn't mean there weren't a few that I could tolerate to the level of acquaintance. People who didn't ask for favor or thoughts on their issues. They just wanted to talk. More specifically about my house and if they could seek refuge for a while.

I remember Sarah and Malifor asking to spend the night in my little abode. At first I had objected to the idea because they were dating and I didn't want them under my roof doing THAT! But they had convinced me when they promised to sleep in separate beds that I had provided for just such an occasion. What can I say? I'll help anyone in any way I can. As long as I'm not gone from home for too long and the task is simple enough.

It was awkward to include them in my semi-hermit lifestyle. Most people that came would only stay long enough to get advice or ask for help on a project that was elsewhere. They wouldn't stay to ask about me or my house. In fact, they seemed to try their hardest to not look at the house. But Sarah and Malifor seemed to drink in my humble abode with hungry eyes. They appeared to be enchanted by the lack of color. My house was quite impressive when it came to keeping out color. Dark shades, dark candles, barely any color at all. After observing my house for a time they addressed me with a concern of theirs.

The reason they wanted to stay was because of a new building needing to be painted. While they were outside working on the building, they seemed to have taken in the random assortment of colors and grown dizzy. I can only imagine why. They sought me out, knowing that my house held seldom color if any. After letting them stay that night they decided to come over more often when they had too much color to deal with. Eventually they started to come by just to chat. It was...good to talk to people for once. But it didn't last.

Remember towards the start of this crazy story I said that there were a few who had decided to leave Nalarath? Well Sarah and Malifor were the first ones to make this decision. They had told me that they were going out beyond the world to find a place that made more sense. The colors of Nalarath were giving Malifor headaches and Sarah nightmares. She would often dream of a colorful clown with knives coming at her.

I'll admit I was a little sad that they had decided to leave. They were the only people in town who didn't bug me and instead of trying to say they understood my plight, felt it. They proved that to me when they entered my house. No one else in Nalarath would dare set foot in here. But when they begged for refuge, I opened my doors, expecting them to leave when they saw the inside, but instead they walked right in.

So anyway I'm getting off track and I keep talking about my house. I'm sorry its just that I haven't been there in a while and It was the best part of Nalarath in my opinion. It was certainly the thing I miss most besides Sarah and Malifor. I think that...if given more time. We all could have been more then friends. They had offered me to come with them but I had to decline. As much as I would have loved to go with them and abandon Nalarath, my conscious wouldn't let me. I thought that perhaps with time things would change.

18 years later and something did change. My thoughts on that night. I wish I had taken their offer and gone with them. The town had became even more colorful then before with so many new faces. So much to take in...It was true that other residents had left to. But more people seemed to come in place. When two left four came. And when four left twenty came. It was hard to keep track of them all...

And now here I sit holding a sleeping baby dragon in my arms, thinking about my old colorful world, while being in a much more colorful one with a strange purpose. I would go back to sleep but my thoughts are too scattered. I also don't want to wake up Spike. I had just gotten him to fall asleep after we both held each other and cried it out. Not the manliest thing ever but fuck you I'm dealing with a lot right now. I'm sure if you were in my position you'd be crying too.

Judging souls is proving to me tougher then Death said it would be... And that was just the first one. Will I ever get used to it? Do I want to? Will there be ponies with similar stories? How do I find Star's mom? And how do I deal with that green pony running around killing? I need some help. I think I'll ask the girls later in the morning.

But...it can wait. For now they need sleep. And so do I. I risk putting Spike gently on the edge of the bed. He yawns and goes right back to sleep. I crawl onto the other side and put my blindfold on. Maybe Twilight will know what to do about this pony...

????? (4:17am)

?????? POV

Ugh it's no use...I cant sleep. I knew I should have waited until morning to kill that unicorn. Meh. Even if I did leave him alive I'm sure I still wouldn't get sleep. I've been planning on a unicorn for a while. I know enough to be careful near them. They are very observant. Not to mention they have the ability to pick somepony up and throw them around.

Even so...I should have waited until morning so I'd have more play time with him. Oh well...guess I'll just have to find another unicorn. Ugh I'm so tired... I think I'll skip setting up shop tomorrow. I don't think ponies would mind too much if I took a day off. Especially on a Sunday. Usually the fruit stands are the only ones there on Sundays. Speaking of food, I wonder if a midnight snack will help? I am kind of hungry...

And with that thought I rise from my wonderfully comfy yet non sleep inducing bed, to head towards a treat. As I exit my room I head right down the hallway past a few paintings. After I reach a painting of a certain castle, I lift the bottom left corner up to reveal a tile that is colored different from the others. I push in the tile and put the painting back in place. The floor beneath my begins to slowly come down and a new tile is replaced over head. I hear a large clang and feel myself moving downwards. After a few seconds some annoying sound starts to play from seemingly nowhere.

Ugh elevator music...Why did I ever install that?

Because I said it was a good idea.

Oh yeah. Why do you like elevator music?

Because I feed off of pain, torture, anger and other things elevator music causes.. And as long as I'm in your body so do you. By the way we reached our floor. You should hurry up, I'm starving. Sure enough the wall in front of me moves away revealing a dark lit hallway that seems to stretch on for miles. On either side are dark doors with numbers on them.

Ah I should have known what this was about.... I wasn't hungry. He was hungry. And to feed him, I need to do some questionable things. At first I didn't want to do any of these things. But things change as times go by. I can remember the first time we met...

It was a sunny day in Ponyville 40 years ago and I had just moved in from Canterlot to set up shop. It was my first stop on the way to becoming a traveling merchant. I had heard about Ponyville and the populace and decided it would be a nice place to set up. Much nicer then Canterlot hopefully. The idiots there didn't appreciate my fine wares and antiques that I had collected during my travels. I thought they would like some quality antiques as compared to the tacky wares adorning their homes.

But no. They had the audacity to question there authenticity. I had to go through a lot to get the stupid things! I may have been young but I knew what I was talking about when I said they were valuable. I had seem what they do for themselves when a unicorn would touch them. But I couldn't prove it because I didn't have unicorn magic and every time I would ask them to try for themselves they would just scoff and walk away.

Oh well screw them. Ponyville it is. I decided to scrounge up what little I had in bits and bought myself a ticket to the hopefully business filled town. I remember stepping off the train and taking a look at the scenery. The buildings were definitely different then those in Canterlot. Especially the houses. The whole place looked so...cheap compared to Canterlot.

The ponies were nice though. Always waving or giving a quick hello. You were lucky in Canterlot if someone gave you a stern look for attention. After a while of walking around I came to a house with a for sale sign being mashed into the ground. I had asked the pony ,Dew Forest I believe his name was, what the price on the house was. He gave me this worried look and said that I didn't want the house. I then noticed he had a hat and suitcase.

I told him that I most certainly did want the house and that It would be false advertisement to hang up such a sign without the intent to sell. After a while of ranting I demanded he give me a price. He just sighed and explained that the he would get in trouble with the mayor if he didn't put up the sign. Then he tried to convince me why I wouldn't want the house anyway.

Apparently Dew was an artist of sorts. He had gone to Canterlot with the intent to show his paintings to get the approval of the nobles and maybe even Princess Celestia. When he revealed the paintings though, he said that they changed. He had painted a picture of Celestia standing in a field on a sunny day, while staring off into the distance.

But at the unveiling, instead of the innocent and lovely picture, it showed Celestia without much color to her fur or mane. The field she was in had no grass to speak of and was a dark black. Celestia was crying blood with a sad look on her face. But worst of all, the ponies. There were several of dead ponies surrounding Celestia. A look of pain on those that did have faces. Ponies burnt, limbs missing, faces caved in from beatings.The sun in the background had a hollow and dark, empty look to it. And to finish it off, written in red at the bottom was a message that said.'DOWN WITH THE BITCH OF A FALSE KINGDOM!'

After that shocking scene had been shown to the nobles attending, they had called the guards to capture him. He was lucky in escaping and getting back into Ponyville. After a while the guards had given up the search for him. During that time he had stayed in his home and painted nice images to try to clear his mind. But no matter how beautiful and happy the painting was when complete, he would always wake up the next day to find it a dark and horrible version of what it was.

He had painted a filly smiling with a lollipop. It changed into a filly with no eyes, and a knife sticking out of her cheek. He painted a stallion and mare enjoying a picnic on a bright day. It had changed into a night time feast with the fruits and bakeries being replaced by parts of ponies. The two ponies had gleaming red eyes, sharp red teeth, and were both chewing on a ponies intestines. He decided to paint something simple. A tree. It was the last thing he ever painted and ever would paint. Because the next day the painting had a pony with his tongue cut out and his organs spilling out form his stomach. Under the picture were the words 'Dew Forest'.

After he was done explaining he was on the verge of tears and practically screaming at me to reconsider. He said it had to be the house that was changing the paintings. There was no way somepony would be sick enough to make those images. But I wouldn't have it. I never was a stallion to believe in such non sense as ghosts. After pointing this out to him, he finally gave in and sold me the house for 10 bits.

Shortly afterword he rushed off towards the train station while I removed the for sale sign. Sweet. I just got a house for 10 bits and I didn't even have to do that much bargaining! Just because my talent involved bartering, it didn't mean that I had exactly mastered it yet. Taking myself away from my thoughts, I entered my new home.

WOAH! THIS PLACE IS A LOT BIGGER ON THE INSIDE! The living room that greeted me was much to big and well decorated to suit this tiny house. Wait...I thought he was moving? Why wouldn't he want to take his furniture? OH WELL! MINE NOW! There were several paintings cluttering the walls. The floor was covered in a nice red and gold rug with intricate designs focusing the eye towards the center. There were nice comfy chairs and couches spewed about and facing different directions. One chair was even facing the wall. It might look weird to somepony else but I liked it.

To the right there was a door that led to a wonderful marble kitchen with gold laced drawers and cabinets. FUCK GHOSTS AND HAUNTED PAINTINGS! THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! The kitchen didn't lead anywhere else so I decided to head back to the living room and head left from there. I was greeted with a hallway with several paintings on either side with a few fancy candles on the walls in-between a few paintings. That same red and gold carpet massaged my hooves as I walked down the corridor to find a bedroom.

Inside the bedroom was a beautiful king size bed with a million fluffed out pillows! A fancy dresser with a mirror attached sat across from the bed. And to the right of that a bathroom! The bathroom was the same design and color as the kitchen and had a huge bathtub that Celestia would have trouble filling. Man that pony was stupid! Why did he want to leave here again? I left the bedroom to explore the house more.

I discovered a pantry stocked to the brim with food, a closet with several fancy clothing, a small library with a stone fireplace, and a door that wouldn't seem to open no matter what I did. It didn't matter really. The rest of the house was so awesome! I began to unpack what little household items I had taken. I got everything set away in about 10 minutes. Just a few pictures of my family. My mom ????? my sister ??????, and my dad ???????. Just to give it that homey touch.

I hated to leave but there was still plenty of daylight and I needed to get set up for shop. The pantry would only hold that much food for so long and I wasn't about to mess up the house with all of my antiques. They looked like crap compared to this place. So with one last glance I headed off towards the town center.

Sales were good today as I had come back toting a wagon with less materials and a bag full of over 200 bits. Not to shabby for a days work. Most of the ponies were amazed at the tales I told of how I obtained said items. There were a few skeptics at first. But their opinions changed swiftly when a young unicorn had grasped one of my artifacts. It began to whir and hum while spinning and producing several different colors. She had offered 50 bits and I gladly accepted.

After that several other unicorns and even a few earth ponies and even a pegasus had come to make a purchase. Though most of my items worked only for unicorns, there were several items I had that non-unicorns could use. Lamps, treasure boxes, fancy jewelry. That sort of thing. I would have loved to stay longer but the day was coming to an end. Also, I had a wonderful house that I looked forward to returning to.

After I deposited my materials in a little shack next to the house, "Was that always there?" I entered my new domain and headed towards the hallway leading to the bedroom. I gently climbed into my new bed while closing my eyes. Finally, my life was in order and good things were happening to me. No more nights at random inns begging for loans because no one would by my things. As I closed my eyes I sighed in content and allowed myself to fall asleep.

The next morning I was greeted with my body itching. I couldn't help from scratching and scratching while I tossed and turned in my bed. I finally decided to get up and see what the problem was. Nothing on my body. I don't feel itchy anymore now that I'm out of bed. I turn around to find...that's not the bed I went to sleep in. I wasn't sure it was even a bed. It had different pieces and colors of...something stitched together. That explains the itching...

Taking a closer look I notice that things stitched together are...fur. Pony fur. I had slept in a bed made out of pony parts. I screamed and turned to leave when I noticed the mirror on the dresser. Now...I don't know much about mirrors. Just enough to know that they show a reflection of what's in front of them. Well...this one was showing me a dark room with that nice bed. And even worse...I was in that bed. Sleeping so peacefully.

I was so confused. I didn't know what the hell was going on. Then suddenly the image in the mirror changed into the image of some creature. It stood on two legs and was made entirely out of black and red shadows. Its face was only barely detailed and what little there was scared me beyond belief.

Its eyes were wide and bloodshot always looking in a different direction. The small bump in the center of his face (assuming its the muzzle) was askew to the left and slightly torn. And its mouth. Oh Celestia Its mouth.... What seemed like thousands of tiny razor sharp teeth. Besides the face, another factor that made me cringe at the sight of this disgusting creature was Its height. It easily stood over three ponies tall with long gangly legs.

It just kept looking at me from the mirror until I heard it speak.

"HUNGER"

Ever since that day I've been torturing and killing ponies to satisfy this creature inside me. In return, it doesn't kill me. After a while I had to become more creative with how I killed. Apparently he had a picky appetite when it came to feeding off of torture.

It was and still is risky to be doing this sort of thing. There hadn't been many crimes in Pony Ville before I came. There weren't even murders before I came. I feared that the ponies would get suspicious and catch us. That did not seem to concern him and eventually, I stopped caring to. The ponies just considered the victims to be foal napped.

Little did they know that while they couldn't find the bodies, that didn't mean they were just missing. They were all down here in the lower levels that this demon infesting me built. He said he wanted to remember each and every one of them. 117 dead ponies later, I'm searching through to find a midnight snack for the both of us. I wasn't hungry before but....I could use a bite now.

Pony flesh wasn't that bad the first time I tried it. And after some time, it sort of grew on me and I became addicted. The demon fed on the torture while I fed on the flesh. As I passed a door labeled 116 I heard soft crying. I entered the door to see an earth mare hanging from here fore hooves that were attached to shackles on the walls. Her bottom half was...sitting on a table next to her.

I had almost forgotten about her. How long has she been down here? Since yesterday? How is she not dead? Eh whatever she'll do.
As I approach her, her crying becomes more frequent and she starts to hyperventilate. She's spazzing out right in front of me crying out for help. Instead of becoming sad at the sight, It just pisses me off. These idiots never learn...

"Will you....SHUT UP!" I grab a nearby pair of scissors and go to cut out her tongue. I push my hoof inside her mouth and pull out said item. I slowly bring the scissors closer and closer, enjoying the fear she's giving me right now. Before she can utter another word I close the scissors around her tongue and begin to move with the flow.

She's trying to scream while thrashing but I have a good hold of her head so I still get her tongue out. I give it a good sniff before trying a lick. Not to bad... I then look over to the table and see her bottom half. I take a butcher cleaver sitting on the same table and cut off a leg. I think this should do.

HUNGRY!

Sigh...I turn back to the mess of a mare. Her eyes full of tears pouring down her face mixing with the blood flowing from her open wound. Getting an idea I grab a nearby drill. I slowly approached the mare savoring her fear. Too bad I couldn't make it last forever. I'm just thankful that she lasted this long and didn't bleed out.

She looks up at me and her eyes grow wide at the object in my hand. I hold her head with my hoof before she can look away and I start the drill. I bring it closer and closer to her eye. She tries to shut it but I punch her and hold her eye open with my hoof. This would be so much easier if I was a unicorn.

Eventually the drill goes in right through the cornea and the result is satisfying. Blood and other liquids are flying from her soon to be destroyed eye. Her screams are loud and ear shattering but oh so satisfying. I go further and further until I feel a pressure. I push through and am rewarded with a cracking sound. I just pushed the whole drill through her eye and out of her skull. Her screaming stopped after that. She just uttered some weird gurgling before finally becoming limp.

FULL.

Finally... Its getting harder and harder to satisfy you.

SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR MEAL! THEN RETURN US TO BED! I GROW TIRED!

As you wish...

Author's Note

Fancy houses, dead ponies, and demons oh my!
Sorry for the delay on this chapter but I had exams this week and it was hard to find time to write in between studying.
As punishment I will insert this centipede into my ear.
...
Huh...kinda tickles...

OOOOOOOOOH GOOOOOOOOOOOD THE PAAAAAAAAAIN WWWWHHHHHHHHHHY!?!?!?!?!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

More questions/ Meeting with Royalty

Twilights house (7:32am)

Gregory's POV

The sunlight pouring into the room from the window didn't wake me. Neither did the burp and sudden smell of something burning, What did wake me, was the feeling of something landing on my face. It wasn't heavy thankfully. But it was still unexpected and I might have overreacted.

Ok I really overreacted. I started flailing my arms and screaming "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" It didn't help that I had been dreaming of colorful spiders just previously. So many colorful legs... Even though it didn't feel like a spider, I was still too dazed from being awoken to differentiate between the two. After a couple of minutes of useless flailing and screaming, I finally decided to rip the foreign object from my face.

It felt like...paper. A rolled up scroll to be more exact. "Uh Gregory?' I turned my still blindfolded face to the owner of the voice. "Can you please calm down? Its just a letter. Its not going to kill you you know." A letter? Since when do I get mail?... Death?

Don't look at me. If I need something from you I'll just talk directly to you. Through your head.

Right...Is it from a soul?

Doubtful. Considering that they cant really touch anything in the material plane. Well besides us and the floor. So I don't think its from a soul. Try feeling the middle of the scroll.

I do as Death asks and feel...a seal. A royal seal? Is it from King Varkoth back in Nalarath? No wait...this isn't the same symbol. Who sent it then? Before I can ponder further on that subject, I feel the letter leave my hand.

"Thank you Gregory, I'll just take that. It must be from Princess Celestia." Oh right...her mentor and ruler. I almost forgot. I hear the letter open and Twilight hum to herself as she begins to read. Spike groans from the edge of my bed while she reads. Rough night sleep huh little guy? Me to... Suddenly Twilight gasps at something, causing Spike and I to simultaneously ask "What?"

"Here read this!" I feel the paper enter my hands once again. Though this time, it's unfolded. But I still have a blindfold on. Seems like Twilight is forgettable so I feel it's time to tease her a bit. I clear my throat and prepare my sermon voice.

"Ahem... Dear Twilight Sparkle. I can't read this because I have a blindfold that I can't take off unless I want to get a headache. Which I don't. Sincerely Gregory." I finish with a smirk.

I hear Spike giggling and Twilight give me a sigh. "Funny..." She says full of sarcasm. Once again the letter leaves my hands and floats over to Twilight. "I'll just read it for you smart guy. Ahem..."

My Dearest Student Twilight Sparkle,

I am sorry to hear about the sudden cancelation in your plans for the slumber party. Luna and I were looking forward to seeing you again.. Speaking of Luna, I also feel the need to apologize for answering your letter so late. Just before your letter, Luna and I felt a powerful surge of magic, and we were working on pinpointing its location. This information about a 'strange creature' sounds like it may have something to do with what we felt. Especially if what you say about it falling from a hole in the sky is correct. I ask that you keep the creature contained in a magical aura until we arrive.

Luna and I plan to be there around 8 am if everything goes according to schedule. We were able to free up some time. Just enough to study the creature in full detail. I have faith in you Twilight Sparkle. Just be careful around this creature, we have no idea what he is capable of. My sister and I have not felt such a surge in magic since we first met Discord. We will be there soon.

Princess Celestia.

PS. This creature sounds really hot! I cant wait to meet it and take it to my dungeon so that I can fu-

DAMMIT DEATH! SHUT UP!

HEEHEHEHEHEHEE!

"So wait...Celestia and Luna will be here in...15 MINUTES?!" Questioned Spike with what I could only assume was a worried look. (7:38am) "Close Spike. We have 22 minutes until they get here." I said, reading off of the mental clock in my robe.

"How do you know that?" asked Twilight.

"Uh...gut feeling?" I responded meekly. I forgot about not telling them too much about , the robes, the gloves, and Death. I almost let it all slip. I'll have to be more careful next time. Wait a minute...The two most powerful rulers will be here very soon. Maybe they can tell me about Star Search! Surely they keep some sort of record of all the ponies here."

You think that's a good idea to tell them about a dead pony? Along with that whole serial killer thing? I'm pretty sure they would be devastated to hear such news. Not to mention they would put you as the number one suspect since you are the alien here with a strange magical aura. And then you would have to prove your innocence by telling them everything. Me, the robes, the guantlets and what they do. But would they even believe you? And if they did believe you...what then?

...Damnit. So basically I'm on my own here?

Oh don't say it like that! I mean hey! You got me!

...So basically I'm on my own here?

Yep. I cant give you all the answers and hold your hand the whole way.

Well can you at least give me a direction?

North-East

...Fuck you. You know what I meant.

Fine... How about that creepy forest? Maybe there are more souls there? And who knows...maybe when you read there past life, you can get some info on that killer! I get souls and you get answers! Its a win win!

But...Star Search...

Look I hate to sound like an uncaring dick, (not really I enjoy it fully),but GET OVER IT! He died, you freed his soul, you cried like a bitch, it happened. If you focus too much on the past then your going to trip over something in the future and end up dead.

I thought you said I cant die?

No I said you can die but that I would just give you the same judgment. Plus you still get to feel the pain of how you die. Not even your fancy new get up can prevent that. So just face forward and keep your focus on the task at hand. You should know that It's alright to ask why something happened, but its more important to ask, 'What do I do now?'

Wow...I...thanks Death... I didn't think you knew so much. What you just said was deep.

HeHeHe. You said 'deep'

Aaaand just like that your back...Good to see you again.

You to. Now pay attention. Ponies are freaking out and I wanna know why.

As I tear myself from my mental call with Death, I notice other voices. I probably didn't hear them because of the mental discussion/breakdown I was having. They sound really freaked out. Especially Rarity. Something about not having enough time to measure me for a proper outfit. What's wrong with...Oh right I'm meeting royalty.

Applejack seemed to be trying to calm down Twilight who was muttering something about being punished by Celestia. Pinkie was talking about...throwing an introduction party for me. Fortunately, everyone else was ignoring her. I think I could make out Fluttershy whispering something but it was hard to tell through the noise if it was her or a mouse squeaking. And finally Rainbow Dash was...snoring? Huh...guess she didn't get good sleep last night. That or she just doesn't care about royalty being...,(7:55), 5 minutes away. Wait...5 MINUTES?! WHAT DO I DO?! OH CRAP!

Well first you could stop screaming in your head. The only thing that's doing is pissing me off. Second take a deep breath and think calm thoughts. Remember, if you think negative, bad things will happen. But if you think positive, you will be less likely to screw up.

I take a deep and calm breath to ease my mind. It only helps slightly. Still better then nothing. After a few seconds of just breathing I try to think of nice calming thoughts. A dark well. A black cat. Bacon. Cobblestone with a bit of moss growing from it. A dark red door. Bacon. The void. A solar eclipse. A void full of bacon. Aaah that's better...

Before I can have more calming thoughts I hear a loud banging at the front door. All the noise seems to be sucked away in an instant at the sound. "Open up! This is the Royal Guard! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hooves up!" Good feelings gone... In a desperate act of salvation, I utter an (un)manly scream and jump up from the bed to escape via the window. Unfortunately I do not remember where the window is. So instead of making a daring escape, I instead run full speed into wood. Yep that's definitely wood.

Outside of Twilights house (8:00am)

Princess Luna's POV

Tia seems real worried about this strange creature. I am a little too, but I'm sure that it will all work out in the end. Twilight alone should be able to handle this strange creature with her magical spells. And if not, Celestia and I could easily detain it. She must have managed to hold it all night, judging from the fact that her house is still perfectly in tact. I imagine that whatever caused the strange being to be here has caused their powers to drain. I can still feel a strong magical presence, but it is nothing compared to what Celestia and I felt in Canterlot.

Wow Celestia looks stressed. I think I should ease the tension. And what better way to do that...then with a prank? Before my sister can prepare herself to knock on the door I begin to bang on the hard wood, startling her. With the best impression of her royal guard I shout, "Open up! This is the Royal Guard! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hooves up!" The effect is immediate as Celestia is giving me this worried look and I'm just smiling at her. My smile fades however as I hear a shout and a loud bang. That could be bad...

Twilight's Living Room (11:46am)

Princess Celestia's POV

Of all the idiotic things that Luna could have done...That had to be the top on the list. And that excuse...relieve stress. How can she not be worried about this? And if she isn't then she at least needs to take this seriously! It could have been some sort of demon from Tartarus for all we knew! Not that we couldn't handle a demon. It's just that its generally not a good idea to make one mad.

I am relieved to find out that it is not a demon but instead something called a 'human'. As to why it isn't locked in the basement with several holding spells, is because Twilight says it is harmless. Apparently this 'human' can speak. And its name is 'Gregory'. Strange name...So simple. What could it mean? Another good reason that he isn't locked up is because apparently he has a nasty bruise on his head. I'm pretty sure that was Luna's doing with the whole royal guard scare. I'm going to have a nice chat with her about that when we get back to Canterlot.

There is some good news though. The other elements had apparently spent the night here instead of heading home last night. Even in this strange time they managed to have fun. It warms my heart to see how well of a friendship these ponies have made. I'm glad they could still find a way to have a sleepover. I'll have to thank Spike later for that. If what Rarity said about it being his idea is true.

I'm begging to grow worried though. It has been some time and there hasn't been a change in his condition. I hope he didn't hurt himself too bad. As per Twilight's request, she asked to explain the situation before allowing me to see him. After hearing her plea, I thought it best if we just wait for him to wake instead of disturbing his slumber. Though I am starting to question that idea. We only have so much time to be away from Canterlot before we must return. I hope that he awakes soon.

"IVE BEEN AWAKE THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME AND NO ONE IS LISTENING TO ME!" A voice shouted so suddenly behind me that I jumped and let out an un-lady like yelp. When I returned to a sitting position, I saw a strange bipedal beast with two different colored arms. It looked like a small minotaur in dark robes. Along with the robes it had on...a blindfold? This must be Gregory.

Judging from the expression on his face I could tell he was upset with something. I hear it mutter something about 'stupid robes'. How long has he been standing there? Have we really just been ignoring him? I look to the other ponies in the rooms and see the same expressions. Shock. Ok so we weren't ignoring him...he just popped up. But how? I thought he was recovering? I then look to Twilight's clock on the wall. 12:12.Great...Only a few hours of questioning... Guess I should start with the obvious

Before I can find a polite way to ask how he suddenly appeared before us, I hear Rainbow yell "WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!"

...I need a vacation.

Twilight's Guest Room (9:31am)

Gregory's POV

Uuugh...This has to stop. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have some kind of aneurism if this keeps up.... The pain I wake up to isn't bad. In fact, it's so NOT bad that there isn't any pain. Guess the robes are starting to work again...what time is it? (45:48383574:ampm o'clock Decemberteenth) ...Or not... Pulling the covers off myself, I decide to call for Twilight.

"Twilight! Twilight where are you?!" *POP* An image of the library is suddenly thrown into my vision. At first I almost panic because of the colors, but they soon begin to fade away until almost all of it is gone. The image I'm left with is a black and light grey outline of the library. As I focus on the image further, I notice that there are a lot of blobs in one of the rooms, and the outline of a blob in the guest room. Guess that's me... Which one is Twilight? *POP*

Just as I have that thought, all of the blobs but one disappear. It appears to be sitting near the middle of the room. Guess that's Twilight. Why hasn't she started to check on me after I yelled for her? Is she ignoring me?

"TWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!"

...Nothing. Great...that's just great. She didn't even budge... What about the others? *POP* The other blobs in the living room appear before my 'vision'. And...they're just sitting there. Quietly...Why are they quiet? Are they just sitting around thinking? WHY CANT THEY HEAR ME?! WHAT COULD THEY BE THINKING ABOUT?! *POP*

...Ah hope Gregory's alright. That looked like a nasty bruise. Although...it was kinda funny seeing him run into that wall.

Ooh poor Gregory! I hope he wakes up soon! That wasn't very nice or smart of Luna. But...I think I'll just keep that thought to myself.

Ooh man I knew I should have gotten more sleep... Guess it's too late now. Cuz the Princesses are here and catching up with us while Gregory recovers in the guest room. He moves pretty fast for running on just two legs. Didn't help that he ran into a wall though hehe.

Well this is certainly a turn of events. I thought that for sure the Princesses would be upset with us for not keeping Gregory contained. But then again...I didn't expect Luna to pull a stunt like that. Or for Gregory to act like that. The poor dear.

Ok I just have to remain calm. I've successfully managed to tell Celestia and Luna why we should trust Gregory enough to keep him out of bindings. This is good. I just have to keep the conversation going long enough for him to recover and he can introduce himself properly...I hope that happens soon.

!$%&T*5118#U21$@@#%&R@*$%$#)N#!!$%^&$(I)#@456422##54&T#@^^&#O$^*&*#@#$F45678#*(%#@^F!##!$^

Well uh...that's something. So apparently I can read minds...literally. But do they have to appear in different colors?

That's just to help you identify who's thoughts are who's. Every one has there own colored thought pattern. Yours' happens to be black on black. Which is another reason I like talking to you. Black on black is so soothing to the eye sockets.

You like talking to me? But wait...Isn't it impossible to read black on black? And I thought that you were just hearing my thoughts and using some kind of telepathy to project your own into my head? Since when were you actually READING my thoughts?

Of course I like talking to you. Your so easy to upset. It's great seeing you over react. Nice escape plan by the way. You're a genius when it comes to thinking things through! As for your second question, you can perform many impossible tasks when your an immortal shade of darkness. And to answer your last questions, I can do all of that at the same time.

Wow...that's kind of cool.

And maybe someday you will figure it out. But for now you have to deal with the colors.

But wait...Why cant I read the Princesses' minds? Is it because there so powerful that they can prevent such a thing?

Heck no. Not our mental tapping anyway. Were working on different levels of dimensions and a whole bunch of other complicated crap here. Mind readers share a common problem. They can easily be stopped because they try to focus in only a few directions. Enough directions for someone with an attentive mind to find and set up a sort of mental ward to keep them out. But when you think in MILLIONS of dimensions, then you are much more successful in finding your goal. Being a servant of me, is making you not only think in different dimensions, but move through them as well. As we speak, you are standing in the same room as them, invisible and silent.

Thanks for the mind reading lesson. But that still doesn't answer why I cant see what those two are thinking. Also...WHAT?! IM INVISIBLE?! Is that why they've been ignoring me?

You get used to it Gregory. Just don't think about it too hard and you'll be fine. Also, remember how I said everyone has a color pattern to their thoughts?

Yeah...

Well Celestia's is a light yellow on white. It's even lighter then Fluttershy's yellow. And Luna's is a Royal Blue on Royal Blue. You wont be able to read it because your not thinking in enough dimensions. I can give you enough to read normal beings minds. But these two are defiantly more above normal. Celestia appears to have a weaker hold on her mental ward however.Why don't you give reading her mind a try? Just try to think of several angles to thrust into her cranium. Then penetrate her thought pattern with your 'thought rod'. And before she suspects a thing, grab what you can and get out.

...Why do you make everything sound so dirty and wrong?

I have no idea what you're referring too. Now then, get to practicing. It's already 10:00. Find out what she's thinking before 12:00 and I'll give you a reward! Fail and you get punished.

Punished? Why?

Because if I'm going to help you, then you need to actually take my advice and do what I say. The promise of a good punishment should be enough incentive for you to get the job done. That and I'm kinda bored. So yeah...get to reading her head.

I sat there for who knows how long, thinking of all the different ways to enter her head. I finally made progress after some time. Apparently if I thought about different methods, angles, approaches, tools, and a sprinkle of bacon, the text became easier to read. I guess that's just their default setting and I have to find a way to make it easier to read...hmm Lets see what she's thinking...

Though I am starting to question that idea. We only have so much time to be away from Canterlot before we must return. I hope that he awakes soon.

YEAH I DID IT!! I READ HER MIND!

Congratulations! You almost did it! 12 minutes too late! Now you get punished!

...You waited an extra 12 minutes...just to see me succeed...so you could tell me I failed...Why?

TO SEE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE! Now move over, It's time I had some fun!

I feel myself shrink even deeper into a dark void. When I'm done shifting further into this strange place, I notice I am in a room with a comfy black couch and some strange device in front of it. It is very large, flat, and black. It seems to take up the whole wall. Before I can wonder more about this strange device an image on Death appears on the once blank screen. Bastard almost gave me another heart attack!

Take a seat Gregory! I'm about to show you how to have a good time! And I think using your body will be the perfect punishment/form of entertainment! And don't worry about the colors. You're so far back in the recesses of your mind that they shouldn't even faze you at this point. Anyway...LET THE FUN BEGIN!

Oh god why... With nothing better to do, I take a seat on the couch and watch as death yells at Celestia. After a moment of awkward silence, I watch Rainbow Dash exclaim, "WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!"

...I need a vacation

Author's Note

So yeah! I'm finally back with another chapter! Really sorry about the wait but a lot of crap has happened preventing me from updating this story. One of those things being that I had to go to the hospital to get the centipede out of my head. They got it out in time and I don't think it took anything important really.

Be sure to leave your thoughts in the comments about my story! Feedback is greatly appreciated! If I'm doing something you do or don't like...TELL ME!

Anyway, that's all I can write for now. But I will be updating more often so YAY! I'm thinking a chapter every two days.
Have a good day/night/evening/bacon!

Death takes a joy ride/The tables have turned!

Twilights house (12:03am)

Third person POV

So this is what it feels like to have flesh and organs. I feel...fat. Thought Death as he started to feel himself up while ignoring the stares of the ponies in the same room. He couldn't see them anyway because of the blindfold. However he could feel their eyes on him. He decided it would be best to ignore them for now.

It's going to be hard to get used to being so squishy. I haven't had skin since....wait....did I ever have skin? Death then took off the blindfold and decided acknowledge the ponies in the room. Before he could ask what they are looking at Rainbow exclaimed, "WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!"

...ITS ABOUT TIME I GOT A VACATION! Watch closely Gregory. I'm about to show you how to have a good time!

"Well it all started about thirty years ago when my mother and father fell in love and then they decided to have sex. Skip forward to now and, TA-DA! Here I am answering your question about being my parents' seed! Death replied to Rainbow Dash, with a small smirk on his/Gregory's face. She responds by giving him a confused/angry look.
Death doesn't get to observe it for long though because Twilight interrupts him by screaming.

"GREGORY! RAINBOW DASH! THAT IS NO WAY TO TALK IN FRONT OF THE PRINCESSES! AND WHY DID YOU TAKE THE BLINDFOLD OFF GREGORY?" Death turns to the now fuming Twilight Sparkle. Who knew her mane could catch fire like that? And since when were her irises red? Oh wow she looks pissed. It's adorable!

"Well I simply decided I don't need it for now." Death shot back at Twilight, while keeping that smirk.

"It is quite alright Twilight. I can forgive them both for there comments. After all, it was surprising to see him appear out of no where." Replied Princess Celestia with a gentle smile. "Although Rainbow, you didn't have to use such colorful vocabulary. I have been around and heard some things, but that doesn't mean I care to hear such language at inappropriate times. And Gregory I would ask that you not refer to your self as your 'parents' seed' I can forgive you for that comment because you are new here. Though it would be wise to keep those kinds of comments to yourself, Understand?" Death/Gregory nods.

Twilight instantly calms down and looks at Celestia. She really can admire her mentors' ability to be calm in just about any situation. Maybe with time, she too can learn to remain calm in stressful situations. Now Twilight feels bad for the way she overreacted and has a downcast expression.She then turns to Rainbow and notices that she looks sad as well.

"I'm sorry Princess Celestia,," Replied a defeated Rainbow Dash.

"I'm sorry too Princess. I shouldn't have overreacted like that." Twilight admits while simultaneously finding an interesting spot on the ground. To this, Celestia just chuckles.

"Oh Twilight you have nothing to apologize for. I can understand where you wouldn't want royalty to be hearing such language. But to be honest...I have heard and delivered my fair share of cursing and flipping out. But over the years it's become easier to maintain through control. It's all in the placing and timing Twilight."

"Like the bedroom." Death replies with a smile

"Yes like the..." Celestia then turns to Gregory/Death with a stern look.

"He he... sorry your majesty. Wont happen again." Replied Death with false nervousness.

"...See that it doesn't. Now then, there is much to discuss. I want to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible. Luna and I can only stay here for so long before we must return to Canterlot. But, considering it is lunch time, I suggest we eat first and then have our Q&A."

All the ponies and dragon agree. Death just sits there with a considering look on his face. He doesn't really need to eat, considering he's an immortal skeleton. But he does understand the importance of living beings partaking in the activity. Still...he himself had never actually eaten anything in his life. He was contemplating if he should try it or not. Would he enjoy it? Or would he hate it so much that he offends the with his choice of words towards hating the food? It's Gregory's body so...either way, win win!

"Sounds like a plan princess. What's on the menu?" Death asks while still wearing that smirk.

"Well lucky for yall, Ah had a bunch a apples and apple related snacks, packed for last night. We didn't get into too many of them considering Pinkie also brought cupcakes." Applejack said while going through her pack and pulling out the mentioned food items.

"Hey that's right! I also brought a celebration cake to celebrate our night together that we didn't eat yet!" Pinkie exclaimed happily while bouncing in place. She then turned to her bag, (while still bouncing), pulled out a cake, (while still bouncing), and laid it on a dish that she had also pulled from her bag. (...While still bouncing!)

That mare sure likes to bounce...I wonder if her soul will be bouncing when she dies and meets Gregory? I'll have to remember to ask him that when her time comes.

"Well the apples sound healthy at least. Though isn't it odd to be having cake for lunch?" Death asks with a quirked eyebrow. I think I'm getting the hang of this face thing.

All ponies but Pinkie seem to shift their eyes away from Gregory/Death. Pinkie is staring at Gregory/Death with a look that could bring mortal men to their knees. It's fortunate for Death that he is not mortal, nor man. So he is relatively unfazed by the look she is giving him. After a while though it starts to get on his nerves.

"What? What did I say?"

Pinkie just continues her death stare until a faint *blink* is heard and her mood instantly changes. She just returns to her normal cheery self while still keeping focus on Gregory. "OH silly me! I forgot you don't like cake! Your a pie person! And to think, I was going to go off on a whole tangent about how it's always a good time for cake. Especially lunch time! But I guess since you don't like cake you wouldn't know! My bad!"

All the other ponies in the room sigh in relief at the avoided Pinkie tantrum. Death however is left severely confused.

"Now hold up. I never said that I don't like cake. I just said that I like pie better." Death replied.

You did say that to them right?

Yeah I did say that. It's just a personal thing really. You see, it all started wh-

I know...I judged your soul. I didn't ask for your life story to be relayed to me by you. I just asked if that was what you said to Pinkie and the others.

...Yes that's what I said. But don't you think it's interesting tha-

No. I don't.

Buh...why?

Because I have judged a countless number of souls. Men, women, animals, aliens, dinosaurs, dragons, and even a planet or two. Each one of them had their own interesting lives before they met me. And then I judged them based on that. The way I see it, compared to them, you had a pretty boring life until you were killed and met me. In a way, I'd say that you dying was the best thing to happen in your boring hermit life of disliking cake and color.

...Wow...when you put it like that...My life does feel kind of wasted...

It was. Trust me. You could have done so much more with your life. But no. You had to stay in Nalarath. Though I guess it was a good thing you did. If you had left, you most likely wouldn't have been assassinated by that guy. And if you didn't die from him, I might not have been able to convince you to be my apprentice.

...You did kind of threaten me.

Yes but only after I had given you the incentive of judging your killer. Then you basically agreed and questioned what I would have done had you said no. THEN I told you of torture and suffering.

Oh yeah...I kinda messed up there, huh?

It happens. Now shut up. Daddy's working.

Upon leaving the mental conversation with Gregory, Death turns his attention to the table full of food now set up before him. Huh...Maybe I shouldn't space out when mind chatting. It is a simple oak table with a red tablecloth covering it. Everypony is in a certain seating arrangement. Celestia and Luna are seated at the head of the table. To Celestia's right are Twilight, Rarity, Spike, and Applejack. To Luna's left are Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Death/Gregory. (Gregory and Applejack being the farthest from the Princesses and facing each other.)

Death/Gregory then looks down at the plate before him. A whole apple, two apple fritters, and a piece of apple pie. Apples huh...guess this is a good place as any to start. But uh...how do you eat these things? Suddenly remembering something from watching souls' past lives', he remembers you should use a fork when eating. Looking to his right, he luckily finds said object, and grabs it with gusto. Ok...Now what? Oh geeze...I should have paid more attention to the eating rituals instead of just skimming through them. But they were so booooring! Especially Gregory's... And I don't think I would ever know that one day I would be punishing someone by eating food.

It's not really much of a punishment actually.

Give me time...

Death then decides to look around the room to see what the other ponies are doing. Most of them have eaten their apples, and are working on either apple pie, or Pinkie's cake. Well they are using forks... With that thought, death then stabs the fork directly into the apple, and brings it to his face. Ok step one complete. I have the food. Now step two uh...Gregory?

Yeah?

...What do I do with this?

...Eat it...

Well yes I know that but how do I eat it?

You open your mo-... You know what? You figure it out. After all, this is supposedly MY punishment.

...Really?

Yep. Good luck Death!

Simply shrugging off Gregory's rudeness, Death then proceeds to stare at the apple. He said I should open something...did he mean my eyes? My ears? Do humans eat with their ears? How are the ponies eating?
Turning his attention once again to the ponies, Death notices with some chagrin that most of them are done. How long have I been spaced out? I hope no ones been trying to get my attention this whole time and I've been ignoring them...

Since when do you care?!

Ignoring that.

Spike and Rarity were the only ones that seemed to still be eating. What Death and Gregory thought were strange was the fact that Spike was eating...gems? Huh...never seen a dragon eat gems. Different world, different rules I suppose. I wonder how those taste?

"Pssst. Hey Sugarcube?"Death turns his attention to Applejack. "Yah need some help there pardner?"

"No I think got it. Thank you though." Death says with a smirk. He then decides to go or it by opening his mouth wide and shoving the whole apple into his mouth. This causes Applejack to grow an shocked expression.

OH CRAP! WHAT DO?! Trying to cover from his mistake, Death then takes the fork that's still in his grasp, and yanks it out. Unfortunately for him, only the fork comes out, leaving the apple still in his gaping maw. At this point he utters a growl and gains the attention of the other ponies at the table.

Ignoring them completely, he focuses solely on the apple. Maybe if I bite down really hard... Trying that, results in the apple being shoved down his throat whole. This elicits a gasp from all the ponies and surprised laughter from Gregory, who was watching the whole thing through the strange box. Quickly remembering that it is his body, Gregory then stops laughing and grows a worried look. What happens if he dies in my body?

But to the surprise of everypony, and Gregory, Death manages to swallow the apple without trouble. Turning his attention to Applejack, the smirk reappears. "I told you I had it!" She just stares at him in awe. Along with the other ponies. Even Celestia and Luna are looking at him in shock. After a moment of awkward silence, Death decides to break the tension.

"Uh...real tasty Applejack. Thank you. Now I believe the princesses had some questions for me?" Death asked while turning his attention to the two rulers of Equestria. It only takes a few seconds after Death's remark for everypony else to recover from the strange event that just occurred. Princess Celestia is the first to speak.

"Ahem yes. Though I suppose we can skip the question about human eating habits..." This gets a small chuckle from the ponies. "I guess we should start with the obvious. Where are you from exactly?"

Ooooh this is gonna be so long and boring...

Author's Note

Trying a third person writing style to improve quality.
Is it working?
As always please comment and let me know where I need to improve!
Or if you think I'm doing a good job, let me know in the comments!
Or if you want to comment, comment!
Comment comment comment? Comment comment!

How do you work this thing?

Twilights House: 3:15pm

Third Person POV

"And that's how I got the title of Father Gregory, by decapitating the worm queen of omega six, and rescuing the dog people from one thousand years of gentle poking. The king of Nalarath was so grateful, he was like, 'we should make this guy priest!', and then I farted, opened a portal, and here I am." Death answered while rubbing the back of his/Gregory's head and pinching his/Gregory's left nipple with his other hand. He was also sobbing and laughing at the same time.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH ME?!

DEATH WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! STOP DOING THINGS!

I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF! I JUST HAVE AN URGE TO DO EVERYTHING!

Oh and everything was going so well...Well...better than this anyway...

FLASHBACK!

Twilight's house: 12:59pm

Death waited patiently for Celestia or Luna to speak. Everypony, save them, Twilight, and Spike had left. Rarity had to return to Opalescence. Fluttershy had to return to Angel and her other animal friends. Applejack had to return to the apple farm to help out Granny-Smith and Big Mac. Rainbow Dash went to her cloud house for a nap. And Pinkie Pie just left after saying goodbye, without saying where she was going.Probably going to get more cake...Crazy mare.

So now the remaining group sat in Twilight's living room, minus a table, on comfortable pillows. It was starting to irritate Death with how quiet it was. Normally he liked quiet. But this was that awkward moment quiet, like when someone farts really loud in Church. They just sat there in the awkwardness, soaking it all in. Death had assumed that since they were princesses, they would know how to start things like this. Personally, he couldn't care less who started, he just wanted to find a way to punish Gregory, and fast. Being in his body was...doing things to him. He was tempted to start rubbing his head for no reason. Withholding those urges, he decided to just clear his throat at them.

"Am I to assume that there is more to this? Who starts? What's the topic?," Death asked impatiently while squeezing his hands together. Both Celestia and Luna coughed nervously and put on a fake smile.

"I-Uh...I think it would be best if I asked a question, then you, and then Luna, and then Twilight or Spike if they have any." Celestia said with a nervous smile.What was that power from him just now? It felt so...dark.

"Very well then Princess Celestia, proceed," Death replied while biting his/Gregory's lip. He was getting urges now to start touching himself, you know....down there. He wasn't aroused or anything, it just seemed so tempting for him to reach down and take hold of something. Luckily Celestia and Luna were both to busy being uncomfortable at that strange power they were sensing from Death to notice. Twilight and Spike however, both noticed something was amiss with Gregory. They decided to stay quiet for now though.

"Well I suppose we should start with something simple. Where are you from originally?," Celestia asked in a calm tone.

"Nalarath," Death replied. "A happy place of color and sunshine," he added sarcastically, causing Celestia to raise an eyebrow. "Ok my turn. How old is Equestria?"

"Currently, over 3000 years." Replied Celestia.

And I bet you've seen it all huh Princess... Try as you might, you cant hide facts from me, hey cloak, how old is Equestria? (Equestira is 3012 years old.) Huh so she was telling the truth... Well... how old does that make Princess Celestia? (Princess Celestia is 2235. Her birthday is in five months.) I see...and Luna? (Princess Luna is 2220. Her birthday is in three months.) Interesting...Gregory I hope your paying attention at how I'm using your robes. This is vital information that will help you later on.

Not like I can do anything besides watch you toy around in my body...And why so serious all the sudden?

Because I ate the coffee mug and cried at Christmas.

...What?

"I believe it is my turn. How many people are there in your world?" Asked Luna while shifting in her pillow seat.

"Currently 745,648,953. Wait...52," Death replied in an automatic, uncaring manner. I'll have to make this quick, that might have been the king that just died. I can only hope...I swear he cheated me at that poker game. Seriously though, how else could he have gotten five aces besides cheating?

Everypony was slightly taken aback by his bluntness. After a moment, Luna asked, "But...how can you be so sure that it's that many?"

"You asked out of turn. I'm not answering that," Death replied with a cheeky smile, causing Luna to growl.

"You will answer me young Gregory! Or so help me-," Luna started, but was cut off by Celestia.

Ha!...She thinks I'm young.

She also thinks your me.

Oh yeah...

"He is right in this case Luna. We did agree to take turns."

"But Tia I...ugh fine. I'm sorry Gregory," Luna apologized with her head held low.

"You are forgiven Princess Tuna."

Luna looked at Gregory through slanted eyes and asked, "Di...Did you just call me Princess Tuna?"

"I don't believe so," Death replied innocently. "Now then, do either of you have a question?" Death asked, referring to Twilight and Spike.

Fast-forward to now

The questions were simple and non-important trivia at first, well, that's how Death felt about them anyway. I wont go into detail about the questions, but I assure you they weren't that important. What was important, was Death's condition getting worse and worse. He had eventually given into his desires of touching himself, and was constantly rubbing himself while answering their questions.

And now here he was in an awkward pose, both of his/Gregory's hands on his/Gregory's ass, while at the same time, crying and laughing. Death had realized what was going on halfway in the interview. He was not used to being into a body for so long, and the many emotions and feelings he never experienced were much to overwhelming. He was able to withhold the desires to experience them all in the beginning. But eventually, he just decided fuck it and gave in. Death knew that he had to get out of Gregory's body, and fast. The problem with Death escaping was, he had forgotten how.

The ponies and young dragon were very worried for Gregory. So far, Twilight and Spike had never seen him acting like this. Spike began to wonder if Gregory was still recovering from his lost friends in Nalarath, and if this was some weird way of him coping.

Fuck...If I can't leave by choice...how can I escape for ice-cream? Wait...what about extreme pain? That usually works out in the end.

I don't like that idea at all... Look we can be rational about this. Just come back here with me and I'll go towards my body. No one needs to get hurt. especially not me.

Too late I'm going with plan 'hurt me/Gregory/bacon ride.' But I have to be sneaky about it, I cant hurt this body for some reason. I guess it's because the emotions are telling me no...Hmm, what if I convinced one of the ponies to hurt me?

I don't really see that happening anytime soon. Sure they may not like us, but that doesn't mean they'll attack us for no good reason.

...Is that a bet I hear?

Erm...no. I was just uh...complimenting you on your nice black tie!

Nice try...but my tie is green.

Death, desperate to be out of Gregory's body to restore his sanity, came up with an idea on how to get the ponies to hurt him. While still fondling himself, he turned to Celestia and said, "Ok my turn again. Knock Knock."

...What?

Luna whispered into Celestia's ear, "What did he just say?"

Spike and Twilight both sat there, mouths agape, thinking the same thing, What?

"This is the part where one of you says 'who's there'. It's a human joke, and trust me, you'll love it." Death replied with a smirk.

You asked her...a knock knock joke...Why? Gregory asked to the TV, while trying his best not to flip out from the pain that Death's random behavior was causing.

I technically didn't ask a knock knock joke, I started one Which technically means that YOU started a knock knock joke, not me, laughed Death while dancing in Gregory's body.

...I hate you so much right now Death...I'm considering giving hell look.

Oh lighten up. Its just a knock knock joke to ease some of the stress and develop bonds..

...Somehow I don't believe you. Since when do you care about making bonds? Last time I checked, never. It also doesn't help your case that we were talking about ways to get them to hurt me just seconds ago. What are you planning Death?

Shut up pancake man!

"Uh...who's there?", Luna replied with a slight smile. She did enjoy good humor, and she was rather curious to see what humans considered funny.

"A dead baby." Death replied while trying not to smile and failing.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!

Dead serious...pun intended

Luna and everypony else gasped at that. "I'm going to assume that a baby is a human's version of a foal, that being said, why would a dead baby be knocking at the door? And why a dead baby to begin with?" Luna asked, with a horrid look on her face.

"Oh perhaps I should have specified. Your are right that a baby is basically a human's version of a foal. Now let me explain the joke. You see,the dead baby couldn't possibly know, because he his dead. I should have given more detail to that and said, 'A man holding a dead baby,' that way, you would know he was using the baby to-" Death didn't get to finish his morbid joke, as he felt a blast of pure magic hit him squarely in the chest. Normally he would have just shaken it off, but being in Gregory's body meant that he could register pain, and man did that spell hurt!

But at least Death's crazy plan had worked. Soon both Gregory and Death felt a crazy force pulling at them. In a matter of moments, Gregory was back in control of his body, while Death returned to the void, to view him safely from afar.. Both parties were happy for the return of familiarity. Their victory was short lived however, as Gregory picked himself up, and came face to face with a very angry Luna.

Oh fuck me...

Get in line.

Author's Note

Disclaimer: No dead babies were hurt during the making of this chapter. They don't feel pain, they're dead.

Hope you all had a merry Christmas!

Any of you get anything interesting? All I got was fifteen pounds of coal....I wonder why...

Back in control/Bad ideas all around!

Twilight's living- OH YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS! WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR LIKE 4 CHAPTERS!

Third Person POV

Father Gregory had been in many horrible situations in his life. Being whipped for stealing food, his parents dying when he was eight, that beating he got from several other kid's for being different and hating color, meeting Death, to name a few. But nothing could ever come close to the terrible situation he had found himself in today. Standing mere inches from him, with a snarling mug and death like stare, was a very upset magical princess.

So many thoughts were running through Gregory's mind at this time. However, they were not about how he was going to get out of this situation, or even apologize to the angry Luna. Gregory was yelling at Death mentally while simultaneously, unknown to him, giving Luna a bored expression. He had completely derailed from the real world to focus all of his power at giving Death a verbal beat down. I cant repeat what was said but know this, Death apologized. That's right...DEATH APOLOGIZED! And he didn't do it because of emotional backlash from taking over Gregory's body or anything like that, but from pure fear.

While Gregory was having his mental argument with Death, Luna was growing more irritated at his expression, unaware in the rise of power coming from the former priest. Celstia and Twilight however, could feel a very dark power growing within Gregory. Before anypony could warn Luna however, Spike put himself in front of Gregory, facing the very irate princess of the night and surprising everypony in the room. Spike tried his hardest to match Luna's death glare, and only slightly succeeded. She seemed to get the message, as she stopped advancing. Her glare on Gregory however, did not falter as she turned to look at Spike, slightly startling him.

He had never gone so far as to even question one of the princesses, but Spike had stood up for his friends before. And even though he had only known Gregory for a very short time, he still considered him a friend. The human had opened up to Spike, and told him of his life in Nalarath. He had put his trust in the little dragon, and Spike wasn't about to throw it away. Plus, he had noticed that Gregory was acting very strange, even before this whole Q&A had started. There just had to be something bothering Gregory, and beating him to a pulp wouldn't solve anything.

Luna was about to tell Spike to step aside when he spoke up.

"Don't. You. Hurt. Him! Look...I know that he said some inappropriate things, but hurting him wont solve anything Luna. And besides, he has been acting more and more strange ever since this meeting started. Something isn't right, and I don't think that Gregory is to blame," Spike said while holding his arms out to protect Gregory from Luna's wrath.

Everypony in the room was shocked at that. Spike was usually so quit and carefree. But when Gregory was hurt, he had rushed to his side and stood to defend him, and tell Luna to back off. Spikes mention of there being something wrong with Gregory, didn't seem to be helping either. Luna had stopped fuming at this point, and was instead giving Spike a look of confusion.

"If Gregory is not to blame for his own actions, then who is?", Luna asked Spike with a raised eyebrow.

"I can tell you who," Gregory replied, in a seemingly calm voice. If one were to listen carefully though, they could detect the seething anger coming from within. Celestia was observant enough to truly sense the rage in Gregory. That mysterious power had somehow completely vanished, but that did nothing to calm Celestia. In fact, it made her more worried about what was to come.

Hang on Gregory. Let's think about this!

I'm done thinking things over! And I'm done talking to you! Maybe if I tell them the truth, they can set me free!

Do you really think that's such a good idea?

If you don't, then yes.

Ugh...stubborn mortal

What?!

I uh...nothing

"You were saying Gregory?", Twilight questioned, trying to pull Gregory from his mental struggle. She didn't like how he was acting at all. I suppose that, if the princesses can forgive him for his rudeness, then so can I. What really bothers me though is that power he was building up earlier. What happened to it? And did he just agree with Spike in saying his actions were not his own?

"I was saying that I know who made me do those things. And let me tell you...I am NOT happy with them," Gregory replied with that same 'calm' manner.

Wait...I think I felt something. Celestia thought when she heard Gregory speak.

Look I know your upset with me, but you really need to calm down and stop bottling up your energy. Trust me, it wont end pretty.

Like it matters? Has anything ever ended pretty? Have any of your ideas ended in a good thing?

...

That's what I thought.

...He-he

What's so funny?

What's about to happen.

Why? What's about to happen?

If you thought my ideas were bad, wait until you see the outcome of YOUR decision.

This made Gregory hesitate. He was too flustered to stop and think about what could have happened. But he was so angry with Death that, he decided it wouldn't matter what the outcome was. So, instead of taking Death's advice, he pushed it aside and continued with ratting him out.

Before he could begin to speak, a very strange thing happened. Everpony and everyone in the room, began to hear a strange humming noise. Gregory and everypony just sat and listened to the humming.The longer they sat in silence, the louder it seemed to grow until...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Gregory let out a blood curdling screech, startling everypony in the room. It had enough force to send Spike into princess Luna, and her into princess Celestia, and all of them into the wall. The scream lasted for about a minute, with that built up power pouring out with every second. After it was over, Gregory was left sitting on the floor with both hands on his stomach.

Ugh...what the hell was that?

...

Death?

I...I don't believe it...I mean...I knew about the other thing happening but this?!

WHAT OTHER THING?! WHAT DID I DO!?

You perfectly executed the Reaper's Yell.

...What? That sounds like some thing you just made up.

I'm serious about this Gregory. The Reaper's Yell is a very powerful technique, that takes a long time to master. It gives a reaper the ability to scare mortals to death, scare souls to life, and even make demons quiver. You're lucky none of your new friends are dead, but just sleeping. That shout though...I've only seen few of my students able to use it.

Wait...I thought I was the only person granted with your favor?

Correction, you are the only HUMAN, granted with my favor. But put that petty jealousy aside because right now, we have much bigger problems.

Like what?

Well for one, the fact that you knocked out everyone In the room by screaming at them. And two...you remember that thing I mentioned about scaring souls to life?

...You mean?...

If your thinking that every wandering soul that has yet to be judged is now back in their own body's, and are currently digging their way out to find new life by destroying the living, and that we need to stop them, then your wrong.

Oh thank heavens...I was worried that we would have to deal with zombie ponies or something.

I'm not helping you.

What?

My earlier though Gregory. The only thing that's false about it was the ending where I say that WE go kill the zombies. You got yourself into this mess, now it's your job to get yourself out. And I would be quick about it, because the longer we sit here, the possibility of several new dead souls popping up, becomes a reality.

And with that message from Death, Gregory fainted.

Ugh...Why did I pick you?

????'s House

Sitting in his pony skin bed, the crazy green pony sat there, humming a catchy tune. After a few minutes of humming, he hear a very loud scream. It was so painful to the pony's ears, that he shoved his hooves directly into them, to try and block out the noise. After a few moment's, the screaming stopped. The pony pulled his hooves from his ears, to reveal that there was blood on them.

Get ready. We have work to do.

"What are you talking about? Was that you screaming?"

No...something worse. It appears that this world has a reaper, a powerful one if it can perform the Reaper's Yell.

"Reaper's yell? What are you going on about?"

Never mind that for now. Go to the basement, we need to get to work..

"On what?"

The reaper's yell can bring the dead back to life if their souls weren't judged. And judging by the sounds coming from underneath us, I'd say this reaper hasn't discovered our plans yet. This gives me an idea but we must hurry. Grab all of the rope and duct tape, and head to the basement for part 1. Then begin to board up the house for part 2. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow...

"Yes master."

Author's Note

Sorry about the wait and the short chapter. But know that the comedy's over, the gore is beginning, and I've stopped going outside, we can begin with more glorious updates!!!

How will Gregory handle the situation?
Will Twilight and Co. ever wake up?
What is that demon inside of ????'s head planning?!
Who is ?????

Tune in next chapter to find out!

The Dead Walk the Earth (Day 1)/ Seriously, does anyone have a good idea?

Twilight's house (8:00 am)

Gregory awoke the next morning, stretching in the process. After allowing some joints to pop, he yawned and remembered what was so important about today.

The Princesses had left shortly after discussing Twilights plan last night. Gregory hated the idea, but he decided not to object against it. A bad plan was better then no plan after all...right? Part of Twilight's plan was to introduce Gregory to the rest of Ponyville. This idea was objected by Death but overruled by everyone except Gregory.

After introductions, they would announce that Gregory was going to have a welcome party held by Pinkie Pie, in a 'party house' he was going to build. This 'party house' would be a safe shelter to keep the ponies safe from the zombies that would come later tonight, while Gregory dealt with them. While Gregory did that, Twilight would cast an illusion spell, making it seem as if Gregory was at the party the whole time.

Celestia had agreed to keeping the zombies on the down low from the citizens. The pony's in Ponyville were always experiencing strange things happening in their little town. The last thing they needed was news of a zombie invasion. Everyone agreed that Pinkie Pie would have no trouble's in hosting a party. The only factor that left was...Gregory. Not only was he supposed to build a shelter big enough to fit an entire populace in a day, but he also had to kill a bunch of zombies afterword's.

Death had determined that the zombies would rise from their graves at about 8:00 pm. Gregory had asked if he had to kill the zombies, instead of just judging them. Death had stated that the souls wouldn't be able to be judged, until they left their bodies. To this Gregory let out a long sigh. At least it will be dark when they come so I don't need the blindfold. But even then, he had a small window of opportunity if he was to build this thing.

The meeting was going to be at 12:00 and last who knows how long. Let's be generous and say...1 hour. That would give him 7 hours to build a sturdy enough structure to hold all 300 ponies, (give or take a few). Gregory then thought of a better idea as he sat up on the bed. Instead of building a new building from scratch, why not modify an already big enough structure?

Because...Huh...Why didn't you ask that last night?

Because I was too busy rejecting the idea entirely. I don't want to be introduced to the populace. I don't want to have a welcome party. And I sure as HELL don't want to build a giant structure in 7 hours. I may have some experience in construction but I'm not a damn carpenter! I'm a priest!

You WERE a priest. Now your a reaper.

Ya ya same thing.

Oh yeah? How so?

They both judge souls.

He he. Now your getting it.

Anyway, I think during breakfast I'll tell Twilight the new plan.

K. I think I'll go back in the void for a bit. These souls are kind of...piling up hehe.

Wait...you haven't been collecting souls while you've been here with me?

Oh I've been collecting. Just...not...judging...

Death...go do your work. I'm sure that those souls are bored out of their minds sitting in the silent void.

Yeah well, how do you think I feel when I judge some of the sorry bastards? Boring little pricks...

Death...

Fine fine I'm going. Call me when the zombies show up. I want to be here when this plan flops.

Wait...you know this plan is going to fail? Why didn't you say so earlier?!

Uh cant hear you! I'm busy judging souls! Busy busy busy!

Death? Death?...Damn it...

Shrugging off Death's behavior, Gregory rose from his bed. He decided it was now or never to tell Twilight that they needed a new plan, and fast. With that in mind, he took two steps forward before...

CRACK!

"AAAAH FUCK ME!!!"

Outside of Twilight's house (8:00am)

Sweetiebelle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom all sat outside of Twilights tree house. They were trying to get their cutie marks in being trees. Scootaloo didn't like the idea, but with no other plans on what to crusade for, they had all trekked to Twilights house to pretend to be...well...a tree. With it being Saturday, the girls had all day to attempt to find what they were best at.

"This is so stupid!", Scootaloo exclaimed after five minutes of sitting on her flanks with her fore- legs held out. She grunted in frustration and let her fore hooves drop. While she rubbed her aching legs, she looked over at her fellow crusaders to see how they were doing.

Applebloom was standing on her two hind legs, while leaning on Twilights tree for balance. Even with the support from the tree, the young filly's legs continued to wobble. Eventually she fell back with a, "Woah!", and landed on her front hooves.

Sweetiebelle was doing much better than her two friends. She was somehow balancing herself on one back hoof while her other appendages were spread out. Despite her awkward arrangement, she appeared to have complete control over her balance.

"Wow... You're really good at that Sweetie Belle!", Applebloom praised with a smile on her face. "Where did you learn to do that?"

"..."

"Uh...Sweetiebelle?", Scootaloo questioned.

"zzzz"

"Is she...sleeping?", both ponies asked in unison. Scootaloo turned to Applebloom and vice versa. They started at each other for only a moment before they both grew mischievous smiles. Applebloom plucked one of Scootaloo's feathers and began to approach Sweetiebelle.

Sweetiebelle awoke to the feeling of something tickling her. She tried to stifle her giggles but eventually gave in. Once she started laughing, she lost her balance and toppled over on top of Applebloom.

"Hey Applebloom! What happened?", Sweetiebelle asked in confusion.

Applebloom gently pushed Sweetiebelle off of her before replying.

"Well we were trying to get our Cutie Marks in being trees, (Celestia knows why...), when you fell asleep!"

"I did?!" Sweetiebelle, growing excited, turned to admire her....still blank flank. "Aw man..."

"Hey don't feel to bad.", Scootaloo offered. "Why would you want a cutie mark in being a tree anyway?"

"Yeah I guess your right...Let's just go to the clubhouse to-"

CRACK!

"AAAAAH FUCK ME!"

All three girls turned their heads in unison towards the noise.

"Uh...what the heck was that?", Applebloom asked.

"I don't know...It didn't sound like Spike or Twilight to me.", Scootaloo offered.

"And what did that pony say? Something about bucking him?" Applebloom questioned.

"How do you know its a he?"

"I can tell by the deep voice."

"Hey," Sweetiebelle started, "I don't think he said buck me."

"Well what did he say?", both ponies asked in confusion.

"Well...I don't think I should say it. I asked Rarity what it meant when I heard her say it a lot when one of her 'special clients' was in town. She never did tell me what it meant. Instead she yelled at me, washed my mouth out with soap, and told me never to say that word or she'd do it again."

Scootaloo and Applebloom both cringed at that particular punishment they were all too familiar with. Scootaloo had uttered 'damn it all 'when she though her mother couldn't hear her. Unfortunately for her, mother's have extremely good hearing. It didn't help that it was deadly quiet in the room and she hadn't even tried to hide it well. For her punishment, her mother had taken her into the bathroom, and given her a healthy taste of dove.

Applebloom remembered saying something similar to 'buck it', when she was helping Applejack on the farm. She had gotten a stern talking to, and a mouth full of the terrible suds. When asked where she heard that word, she admitted that she had heard it from Applejack when she was walking by the barn once. Immediately embarrassed, Applejack had given Applebloom twelve bits not to tell any pony about what she had heard, and to never say that word again. Applebloom agreed, still confused, but excited at the idea of milkshakes with her friends.

"But the weird thing is...when I heard my sister yelling it, she sounded really excited about it," Sweetiebelle pondered out loud.

"Hey ya...my sister was really excited too. Whoever is shouting f-," Applebloom started then caught herself at the last minute. She did a full look around to make sure no other ponies were nearby. Seeing that it was safe, she continued in a whisper, "Um...whoever is shouting, 'those words' doesn't really sound excited. They sound like...they're in pain."

"Oh no! Do you think Spike got hurt?", Scootaloo asked.

"I thought we already said that it wasn't Spike?", Sweetiebelle asked.

"Oh yeah...Well then...who could it be?"

"I say we find out!"

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PONY IDENTIFIERS YAY!", They all exclaimed excitedly while heading for the front door of Twilight's house.

Twilight's house (8:05)

Ugh brilliant....not even five minutes out of bed and I already run shin first into a glass table. Who the hell put that there anyway?.

Gregory sat on the floor holding his already repairing shin. The sound of glass breaking had brought attention to Spike, who came in a dust pan and broom after seeing that Gregory was fine. Not a word was spoken between the two while Spike cleaned up the glass, and Gregory healed his shin. It wasn't long before the silence was broken however when they both heard the true words of terror.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PONY IDENTIFIERS YAY!" Spike dropped the dustpan and turned to Gregory with a worried look.

"Cutie mark what?", Gregory asked.

"No time!", Spike exclaimed. "Quick we have to hide you!"

"Why? What's going on Spike?"

Spike was about to warn Gregory of the crusaders when a thought crossed his mind. An evil, wicked thought. Spike had begun to forgive Gregory easily for lying to the young dragon. But that didn't mean that he wasn't still a little upset about that. So he put all the calmness and clarity in his voice as he said, "Oh nothing. For a second I thought there was a zombie outside. My bad."

"Spike don't joke around like that please. I don't think that zombies can talk. And besides, Death said that the invasion or whatever isn't supposed to happen until 8:00 tonight," Gregory tiredly said to Spike.

"Sorry Gregory, my bad," Spike chuckled.

"What's so funny?", Gregory asked.

"Oh I uh... I think I just got the punch line to one of your jokes you said when we first met," Spike replied while still stifling his laughter, and failing.

"Oh....which one?", Gregory asked.

Darn it brain! Why did we tell him that!

"Because we both thought it would be a good idea!"

"The uh...the one about the rabbit, the bear, and the magic lamp," Spike lied. Hey Gregory did it first. It was only fair if he returned the favor.

"He he he. One of my favorites," Gregory said, oblivious to Spike's lie.

Before either of them could keep the conversation going, the front door of the library burst open. There was the sound of hooves trampling all over the place, books flying off the shelves, and a very disgruntled Twilight. The cutie mark crusaders eventually made it up to the room with Gregory in Spike.

Applebloom, having forgotten her previous punishment for cussing, pointed at Gregory and exclaimed, "HE'S THE ONE THAT SAID FUCK ME! GET HIM!!!"

OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING?!!

Oh hey Gregory I...WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!

Author's Note

So Gregory is about the meet the Cutie Mark Crusaders. What hilarity will ensue? So sorry to those who are disappointed In the lack of gore in these last few chapters. I promise they will come soon! I just need some time to think....naaauuuuughhhttty.

Anyway, more hilarity ensues in the next chapter: The Dead Walk the Earth (Day 1 Pt. 2)/I introduce to you...

The Dead Walk the Earth (Day 1, Part 2)/ I introduce to you...

Green Tea's house (7:00 am)

Green Tea wiped the sweat from his brow as he put on the finishing touches to the device.

"There...I'm done. Can I go back to sleep now?", he mumbled tiredly.

No. Not yet. There is still one important piece missing from this plan.

"Oh what else could their possibly be left to do?", the tired pony asked.

How about bait for the reaper? You know, a reason for him to come to this death trap in the first place?

"...Fine...any suggestions?", Green Tea asked.

The demon used his host's body to turn his head to the left and right, scanning for something that would bring the reaper to them. After only a few minutes of scanning, the demons eyes came across a group of three young fillies heading deeper into town, more specifically, the library.

"Hey isn't that near the place that you said the yell came from?"

Get some rope. We've found our bait.

"Um...we're sort of out of rope..."

Well then you'll have to find some more. Otherwise, I'll have to settle with using your intestines.

The no longer tired green pony, ran from his house to the town market so fast that Rainbow Dash would be amazed.

Twilight's house (9:00 am)

"We're sorry," three dejected fillies said in unison. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were currently having a stern talking to about not only barging into the library and causing a mess, but for using such foul language and assaulting Gregory as well. Spike was in the dog house too because he had known they were after Gregory, and hadn't told anypony. Said dragon was sitting on a stool in the corner with a pointy 'dunce' hat on. Where Twilight had gotten one, nopony knew.

Nopony was in any mood to question her either. The girls were too sad to even say anything besides sorry over and over again, Spike was trying not to laugh, and Gregory appeared to be meditating. If only they could know the thoughts that dwelled within former priest's head.

I wonder if it's too early to judge his soul yet...I think he'd be okay a few levels down in hell for a while. I wonder if it's possible to let him see hell for a little while. Heh...maybe I should ask him to help me with the zombies tonight and then turn my back when h-, Gregory thought, but immediately cut himself off. Were the hell did that come from?

Gregory arose from his meditation and walked towards the girls. Twilight had just finished dealing the girls a severe tongue lashing, (giggity), when Gregory arrived in front of them. Applebloom, Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo looked up towards the blindfolded man, tears in their eyes. This small detail went unnoticed to Gregory, as he bent down and spread his arms out wide.Gregory allowed a small smile to find it's way on his lips as he said, "I forgive you."

Confused, the girls each voiced their own opinions simultaneously.

"Huh?"

"Wuh?"

"Uh..."

When Gregory did not feel the contact of pony hugs like he expected, he just chuckled.

"I think Twilight has given you enough of a verbal beating to make a dictionary blush. Plus, I'm sure your loved ones are going to give you pretty bad punishments each. I just wanted to let you know that even though you put me through all of...that, I forgive you."

It was a full seven seconds before Gregory was tackled by the three ponies and assaulted with hugs. During this heartwarming moment, the human reaper felt a wet warmness on his cloak. Please let that be tears and not what I'm thinking it is...I mean, yeah Twilight is scary with the whole yelling thing, but it wouldn't be bad enough for these fillies to piss themselves right?

After a while of cuddling with the now calm CMC, Gregory was freed from their tiny grasp. Brushing himself off while standing, the reaper turned to Twilight and asked, "What time is it?"

"9:47," replied the purple unicorn. "We still have some time before the meeting at 12:00 but I want to get there early to make sure everything is perfect. So with that in mind I suggest you have a light breakfast. The sooner we get to town hall and get you out in the open the better. That way once that's done, you can get to work on that safe house."

"Uh...yeah Twilight about that..."

"Hmm?"

"I actually wanted to talk to you about part of the plan," Gregory started, then remembered the CMC were still there sitting patiently.

"Uh girls...would you mind doing us a favor and giving the grown ups some alone time to talk?" This earned a sad look from the CMC(unnoticed by Gregory.)

"Aw shucks...why is it the grown ups get to do things by themselves that we cant join in?", Applebloom inquired.

"Yeah! It's not fair!", Scootaloo added in.

A sudden realization crossed Sweetiebelles face, as she slowly started to smile. "C'mon girls, these two need their...'alone time!'"

Twilight and Gregory instantly flushed at Sweetibelle's choice of words. But before either of them could tell her how inappropriate it was, the CMC had already left, slamming the door on the way out.

"Anyway...I was thinking.Wouldn't it make more sense to fortify an already existing structure instead of building one from the ground up?"

Twilight blinked twice at Gregory. Her mind went blank but only for a moment before shouting in her head, Why didn't I think of that?

"Why didn't I think of that?", She exclaimed out-loud.

"Probably because you were too busy 'persuading' him that your plan was fool proof," Spike replied from his punishment corner, giggling at what Sweetiebelle had said.

"NO TALKING WHILE IN THE PUNISHMENT CORNER!", Twilight yelled at spike.

With a nervous jump and a slight hiccup, Spike turned back to the corner and re-adjusted his dunce hat. I still don't know why she has this stupid thing.

"...Now where were we?'",Twilight continued, un-phased.

"The part about making fortifications to an already existing building big enough to hold all of Ponyville?", Gregory supplied.

"Ah yes that. Well...That would include just about any building, except of course for the CMC clubhouse I guess..."

"Wait...you're telling me that you could fit all of Ponyville into any building? How do you do it? Magic?"

"Well yes and no. Not magic in the traditional sense like making a building big enough or shrinking every pony. Magic in the mysterious sense. You know...something that happens and you cant figure it out no matter how hard you try?"

"...Pinkie Pie?'

"Pinkie Pie. My first day here, she threw me a party with all of Ponyville in this tree house."

"Oh yes. I remember you telling me about that..."

The rest of their free time was spent with Gregory and Twilight enjoying a meal at the table and conversing, while Spike had to eat his breakfast in the corner and keep quiet. It wasn't long though until Twilight let her 'need too keep everything scheduled and in order' kicked in, as she started shoving Spike an Gregory through the door. On the way out, she had cast an invisibility spell on Gregory to keep him hidden until his big moment. This didn't help with the fact he was still blindfolded in an unfamiliar area with no sense of direction or any knowledge of where exactly they were going.

But, being creative and brilliant as Gregory was, he decided to use his robes abilities to alleviate his sensitivity to color. This, not surprising in the least, came in the form of a pair of sunglasses. Stylish as they were, nopony got to enjoy how they looked on him.

By the time they had reached the stage in the center of town, it was 11:50. Not a lot of time for Twilight, but she had pulled through in tighter situations. Along the way there, Gregory had decided to count just how many ponies were in Ponyville. At first he didn't seem worried because they only passed a few here and there. When they made it to the stage however, he noticed a huge increase in populace.

Apparently this was big news for the ponies, which wasn't really that surprising. What WAS surprising was the fact that they all looked...happy. Gregory had excepted there to be ponies agitated and alert, or at the very least bored to be at a mandatory public meeting. But all through the audience, ponies were chatting away and making several body gestures to one another. It reminded Gregory of the way people in Nalarath acted. If he had to guess, he would have said there were at least 400 ponies there, when it reality, it was more like 190-200.Gregory wasn't given much time to enjoy the situation though as Twilight interrupted his thoughts once they were both behind the curtain on stage.

"Okay Gregory," she started. "I want to explain to you exactly how this will work. Mayor Mare will give an announcement that I have an announcement. Then she will come back here and switch with me so that I may announce you. Once I announce you, you will make your announcement to the ponies. After that, we shall have a short Q&A, maybe 30 minutes at the latest. After that, you announce that Pinkie has something to say. Then she will announce about the party. We need to be done with this whole introduction by 3:00 maximum, with the party starting at 4. This should be more then enough time for Pinkie to plan for her party. Oh and don't worry about filling her and the others in on the change of plans involving the barricade. I've asked Spike to seek out and tell the others in privacy."

"...You like to think many steps ahead of life don't you Twilight?" Gregory asked.

Twilight simply beamed at this. "Thank you Gregory! I like to think of myself as a well thought out kind of pony."

"It wasn't exactly a compliment but whatever."

Before Twilight could question his rudeness, she heard Mayor Mare introduce her name through the speaker system. This was met with a chorus of stomping and cheering for the young purple librarian. As Twilight pushed back the curtains to make herself visible, she dropped the invisibility spell on Gregory. Just as she made it to the podium...just as things were starting to look good for everyone...just when Gregory had hope in this new situation...the worst possible thing happed.

Hey Gregory! What's up?

Death? You're back so soon?

Yeah I just finished judging like...3000 souls.

Wow. How do you do it?

Well if were being completely honest, I just kind of put them into different categories and did single file judges instead of reviewing every single soul.

...Your joking?

Hey it worked! I judged 57 pedophiles, 113 murderers, 30 rapist's and the others labeled 'innocent' in about 4 hours.

Define...pretty much innocent?

Eh...what I would consider...a non-lethal way of life. Simple crimes like stealing, forgery, insurance fraud, blah blah etc. etc.

Those aren't considered good enough reasons for even the lowest circle in hell?

Not unless it was a REALLY big deal and lots of people got injured. But from the quick testimonies I heard, it sounded like only one or two people got hurt. And they were really sorry about doing it.

...And you bought that?

...Yeeeeeeeeah. Ah well. I'm sure one of the angels will get it sorted out. I bet they haven't made it past the gates yet anyway.

That's not the point Death! You're just creating more needless work for the people upstairs because you're too lazy to do yours right!

...I guess your right... Anyway, where are you now?

If you must know I'm currently behind a curtain on a stage in the middle of Ponyville.

...I see...So we're going with this plan then?

It's not like we really have a choice...

So too clarify...We are about to be introduced by Twilight to all of Ponyville...I'm guessing hundreds of them right?

Yeah...

And this is our one and only true shot at making a good first impression, right?

Yeah...

Well then...I suppose it would be a really dick move to take over your body now wouldn't it?

...

...

Don't you even think abo-

Too late!

DAMN YOU TOO HELL DEATH!

I bet you wish you could right now!

YEAH! NOW GIVE ME BACK MY BODY BEFO-

"Fillies and Gentlecolts, I present to you, Gregory the human!"

Hold that thought Gregory! I've got ponies to meet!

Author's Note

And there you have it! So terrible sorry for this
laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate chapter.

I want to thank those of you who are still following this story as it makes it's slow agonizing crawl towards completion. I had to quit for a while because of writers block but now I'm pushing forward with the story!

Expect more chapters later in the future. Altough hopefully....not as late as this one took.

...Sorry.

The Dead walk the Earth (Day 1, Part 3)/ It just gets more awkward

Outside of Twilight's house. (9:18 am)

I can't believe you're making me do this...

I can't believe how easily you forget I can kill you in a manner most painful over and over again until the end of time.

...

That's better. Now shut up and keep following those little ones.

Green Tea obliged to the demon's voice, and continued his 'casual walking' while stalking the three energetic fillies. A few times he had even lost track of them while pretending to browse some wears at the market. And another time when he ran into that obnoxious party pony Pinkie Pie.

Gah! Just the mere thought of that mare makes my blood boil!

Focus Romeo. I think those fillies are heading into the woods near Sweet Apple Acres.

You mean the one right next to Whitetail Woods?

No I mean the one next to the library and the joke shop. NOW GET YOUR ASS IN THERE!

Sure enough, the girls went right through the trees, with Applebloom being the last one in, only to turn and look both ways before continuing. After a minute or two of waiting, Green Tea followed. It didn't take long for him to find out why the girls were going into this forest, because seconds later, Green Tea discovered a nice open area in the forest barren of all but one tree. And on this tree, was a very decorated tree house.

Oh there just making this too easy, Green Tea thought, as he made his way up the steps, rope in tow.

CMC Clubhouse.(11:17 a.m.)

"Geeze! Who would have thought it would be that difficult to hog-tie a bunch of kids?", Green Tea pondered aloud while dragging the said unconscious fillies back to his house.

What I want to know is where that orange pegasus learned karate. I actually felt it when she connected with the side of your face.

"Don't remind me," Green Tea replied while rubbing his face. "So...what do you want to do with them once we get to the house?"

Nothing for now. I just want you to put them in the closet or something until after this meeting.

"What meeting?"

So you were paying attention to the fillies. Anyway, while you were stalking the girls and pretending to be sneaky about it, I heard somepony say that Ponyville is going to have a huge meeting with a surprising guest. It turns out, it's also a mandatory meeting.

"Mandatory town meeting for a new guest? Since when did Mayor Mare start doing that?"

I'm not sure. But we're going regardless.

"Fine...whens the meeting?"

I believe I heard it was at 12:00

"Lovely...just enough time to take care of my normal routine before going out. Shower, shave, deodorize, brush, and stuff three cute, little, tied up, unconscious, fillies into a dark, soundproof closet. Yep...just my average Monday."

Town Square (12:00 pm)

Something isn't right...

Could it be the fact that we've been listening to this die- hard mare blabber on about how proud she is of Ponyville? I mean seriously, if I hear one more comment about how happy she was that the last winter wrap up went so well I'll-

No you idiot! I mean I'm sensing an abnormally large amount of power somewhere nearby.

How much power?

Reaper power...

No way! The reaper is here!? Why would it come here?!

I don't know and I don't like it.

Maybe its gonna take all of Ponyville's souls in one fell swoop! I bet you it used its freaky powers to brainwash Mayor Mare into having this mandatory meeting, so that it would have the perfect moment to strike us all down!

Oh calm down you baby! Besides, Reapers don't have mind controlling powers, nor do they kill. They just sort of come to collect when the souls are ready.

Oh...so can they predict when somepony is about to die?

Sometimes yes. Now be quiet, I think that purple unicorn just announced our new guest.

It was indeed at that very moment that Twilight had announced Gregory and pulled back the curtains to reveal the human.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts, I present to you, Gregory!"

Just seconds after this announcement were met with stomps of encouragement, as the curtains were pulled back to reveal...nothing.
The curtains had only drawn back slightly, so the crowd kept cheering the guest to come out, thinking he was hiding behind the still remaining curtain. But all suspicions of this were put aside when the curtains came to there full draw and there was still an empty stage. The stomping slowed down significantly, as murmurs and whispers began to surface among the crowd.

Twilight wasn't sure what had happened. She knew for a fact that she had let go of her hold on the spell. Just as she was about to rush on stage and try to explain the situation, there was a large bang as a huge tear began to make it's way through the air in center stage. That's right, a tear in space just floating on center stage, that was void of all color and had creepy noises coming from within.

The ponies stood in shock and awe, and nearly jumped in fright, as what appeared to be a dark gloved minotaur hand jutted forth from the vortex. Soon after, another hand followed, only this was white and holding...a scythe? The crowd immediately started to become panicked, and just when they thought it couldn't get any worse, the full creature flew out of the portal and landed on the edge of the stage. Several ponies in the first row fainted while everypony else backed up simultaneously. A certain green earth pony even ran screaming from the crowd. Everypony else remained glued in a mixture of curiosity and fear.

Twilight started to panic herself. She had not intended it to go this way.

Since when was Gregory so theatrical in his entrances? Or theatrical about anything for that matter? Before she could question the matter further, she heard Gregory speak in a dark voice.

"HEEEEEERRRRREEEES JOHNNY!!", Death exclaimed through Gregory's body, causing ponies to gasp in fright.

Wait a minute....that voice! It's....oh no! Twilight began to rush the stage, in an attempt to knock Gregory off and hide him again. Before she could though, she started hearing...laughter? Turning to her right, Twilight noticed Pinkie was laughing and stomping the ground thoroughly.

"Great introduction Gregory! Really over the top!! Woooo Hoooo!"

Realization started to dawn on everypony's face, as soon they were stomping, whistling, laughing, just cheering Gregory on. Twilight turned back to the stage just in time to see Greg- Death, give a bow.

"Thank you thank you! And sorry about scaring you everypony! It's just a thing I love doing!

Hey Greg's, I got them all warmed up for ya! Go get em!

The crowd continued to cheer as Gregory gained full control of his body.

I'm going to kill you some day.

Yea...have fun with that.

After a few moments of stomping and whistling, the crowd dies down, and Gregory is left standing awkwardly on stage with a pair of sunglasses, his robes, a scythe, and his gauntlets, staring at the sea of ponies. Nausea begins to set in Gregory's stomach. At first he thought it was the high amount of color's but then he remembered two things. One, whenever he got color sick, he had a headache, not a nauseating feeling. And two, he had sunglasses on. Suddenly Gregory realized what it must have been. He had stage fright.

Which didn't make sense really. He had delivered several sermons to hundreds of people. (The people of Nalarath were very religious.) But the crowd being made of miniature colored talking horses instead of people, unnerved him greatly. It just felt...weird. He certainly was not prepared for this and began to shake slightly.

Uh...Gregory?

...

Greeeeegooooory?

...

HEY ASSHOLE SNAP OUT OF IT!

"HUH?! What?!", Gregory uttered stupidly to the crowd, who snickered at his antics.

"I said, are you all right Gregory?", Twilight asked from the front of the crowd.

Gregory shuffled uneasily and uttered, "Yeah... yeah just fine. Ahem...so uh... I guess I should start with where I'm from since you already know my name. I come from a place called Nalarath that, surprisingly enough, reminds me of your own town here. Besides the populace there being humans and not ponies of course."

Everypony oo'd at the name. Somepony's hoof rose towards the center of the crowd, a young filly sitting on another ponies back. (Presumably her father.)

"Yes? You have a question?",

"Uhm...what's a hoo-man?", the little filly asked.

"That's what species I am. And it is pronounced 'human'."

"Oh ok...human. (She pronounced it huhmman.)

"Close enough...moving on! Nalarath was but one of many towns in the kingdom of Zarkona, ruled by King Varkoth. It was a big, colorful town full of colorful people. That's why your town reminds me of it so much. All of the...colors," Gregory shutters involuntarily. "Anyway, while I was living there, I was a Father or Priest if you will." This statement earned him confused stares from the crowd.

"You were a father?"

"What's a Priest?"

"Who's King Varkoth?"

How big is your dick?

Ignoring that...

You tend to do that a lot...

Deal with it ass-wipe.

Woah back off with the emotions pal. I'm just trying to lighten your mood.

Yea well It's not working. If anything, you're making it worse. And you remember what happened last time my emotions got out of check right?

I...er...BYE!

...Whatever...

"Please ponies, allow me to explain! No I am not a father, in the sense that I have never had children. A Father is just another name for Priest. As for what a priest is well...you guys have religion right?"

A chorus of head shakes is his only response.

Seriously? No religion? Oh we have to get some God up in here!

Don't even think of going all Catholic Church on me! Last time that major uprising or 'great crusade' happened, I had thousands of souls to judge. THOUSANDS! HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS! SO MUCH WORK BECAUSE HUMANS THOUGHT THAT GOD HAD GIVEN THEM A FREE PASS! OH AND HE WAS PISSED ABOUT THAT! YOU EVER SEEN GOD MAD? I HAVE! IT'S NOT PRETTY AND YOU DON'T WANT IT!

Woah relax, I was just going to suggest building a church or something.

Probably still not a good idea... Tell them about what religion is then shut up. Short an simple.

<1 hour later>

"And that's basically my life and why I'm here now. Any questions?

I have one. What the fuck was that? Why did you have to drag out that religion thing for like, thirty minutes? I told you to keep it short and simple!

Think about what you just thought/said. You asked a once holy man who had devoted himself to God and his teachings to give a 'short and simple' description of religion. There are people who don't even come close to my status, pretend to be, and give much longer sermons than that. I'd say I did pretty well considering I had just did all of the basics and maybe skipped some unimportant ones.

YOU SKIPPED INFO AND STILL TOOK THIRTY MINUTES! WHAT THE FUCK?!...Though I guess you are right. People have told longer and more boring stories of religion.

I also think I did a good job at explaining what I did because there we no questions after that.

Probably because they were all asleep halfway through...

WHAT?!

Yeah they passed out halfway on that spell of yours. Twilight put a spell of the unfortunate bastards to keep them awake. She seemed to be the only one listening and paying any true attention. They most likely didn't interrupt because it would have been rude, and didn't ask questions on it thinking, you would go off on a whole speech again.

....

....

Well at least this whole ordeal is almost over. I just have to answer some simple questions and get this over with.

"HOW BIG IS YOUR DICK?!

Okay Death seriously...that wasn't funny the first time. Stop it.

Uh...that wasn't me...

Bullshit!

IT WASN'T!

"What was that? Who said that?", Gregory demanded while looking out in the crowd. It didn't take long to find the pony in question, as everpony around her moved away, giving her, her own little bubble.

"YOu Heaard Me Monkeeey Hoooman! I said...Wait what did I say...Oh yeah! How big is your dick!?

Well look's like I found the town drunk...

Congratulations! You leveled up!

"Might I remind you mam that there are children here?"

"Heyyou said If we had Questions then we could Ask *hic* them...*hic*. Answer mah question Mokney Farmer"

"Ugh...Go home Berry, you're drunk," a stallion to her side said.

"hEY SHUT UP tHUNDERlaNE! lAST TIME I Checked *hic* tHIS WAS EQUESTIrEA! aND I AM A CITIZEND OF eQUE*hic*stria! AND THERFORE- AM ENTITLED TO ASK A MONKEY FROM A DIFFRENT WORLD ANY QUESTION I WANT!"

Berry now turned her attention back to the stage.

"WHAT''S WRONG mOKNY? tOO ASHAMED AT WHAT A SMaLL 'THING' YOU GOT?"

I like this one! Invite her to Twilight's for cookies!

That's a situation neither me or Twilight would enjoy.

Well at least answer her question!

Death, I am NOT doing that. Not only does it go against everything I was taught in the church, but it goes against the very foundation of social conversation! Plus, there's foals here! I'm not about to degrade myself by-

"14 inches."

*Silence*

*Dead Silence*

*So quite you could hear a small planet from far away explode.*

All the mares in the audience have blushes on there faces, even Twilight. Some of the stallions were even impressed by the number...in more ways then one.

WHAT THE FUCK DEATH?!

SURPRISE!

Author's Note

And so the slow crawling saga continues onward slower than ever!

What will happen in the next chapter?
Will Gregory be able to smooth talk his way out of this one?
Will Pinkie ever stop bouncing?
Will Gregory fuck the crowd?
Will Death ever stop being an ass- PPPFFFFFFT Ok sorry I couldn't ask that one seriously. You better believe he's staying that way!

Ps. I am really, really, really, really, really, really, really, sorry abut the wait!

The Dead walk the Earth (Day 1, Part 4 of infinity)/ Where did I put my cane?

Nalarath (1:00pm)

A sad day awaits the citizens of Nalarath. Today is the day of Father Gregory's funeral. Although he has only been dead for a day, it was easy to arrange the funeral on short notice because of his devotion to the church and it's followers. And the fact that preacher Jameson had recovered from his 'illness' brought on by Preacher Michael, who was still at home very sick. It turns out Jameson had been fine and unaffected by the tainted holy water; he just wanted to stay home that day. The town had thought of punishing him for that but decided it could wait. There was a great man about to be buried, and a preacher was needed to see that his soul was put to rest.

Now, normally a funeral in Nalarath would be different from a funeral in any other town. Any takers as to guess why? You guessed it, colors. But today, since they knew that the person they were burying had despised colors, they had decided to change the dress code to formal black. The citizens had even gone so far as to temporarily remove the color from all of the buildings near the church. (By using lots of black garbage bags and duct tape.) It only seemed appropriate for the man that was in the dark coffin.

Yes, how fitting for Gregory's body. A dark black coffin with gray cushioning on the inside, for Gregory's corpse to rest in. It was to be a closed casket funeral because, try as the coroner might, even he could not get Gregory's face to look presentable in the allotted time zone, and no one want's to see THAT at a funeral. As the casket was brought forward to the grave, and everyone took there seats, Preacher Jameson began the prayer.

"Today we bury the late Father Gregory, a good man, who was true to God. As we lay his body down to rest, may his spirit know peace, may his rest be eternal, may he rejoice in the kingdom of heaven. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

The prayer was much longer and more enthralling I assure you, but that doesn't matter. After Preacher Jameson had finished his prayer, they pushed his coffin into the earth, and began to sing. After his grave was full again they mounted his gravestone which simply read;

FATHER GREGORY

A GOOD MAN.

1835-1893

Thus was the end, of Father Gregory, or so the town thought. But really they did not dwell upon it too much. Yes it was a sad event, him dying and all, but what was really on their minds was one thought, and one thought alone. Who murdered Father Gregory? And why?

Outskirts of Ponyville 12:05 pm

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I WAS RIGHT! HE'S GONNA TAKE ALL OF OUR SOULS! EVERY PONY FOR THEMSELVES!"

OH WILL YOU SHUT UP AND STOP RUNNING AROUND LIKE A SCARED FILLY!

Green Tea paid no mind to the demon in his head. A stupid move on his part, as a deep sense of pain began to flow from him. His muscles cramped, his organs bled, his bones snapped, all in a matter of seconds. Too exhausted from running away and screaming about the reaper, he had no air left to scream in agony. After several grueling minutes of torture, the pain subsided, allowing Green Tea to slowly get up.

Now then...I want you to turn around and head back towards that meeting. I don't care how scared you are. We need that reaper dead before he can find out about our secret.

Green Tea thought about arguing that he was tired, and did not want to go back to the scary reaper. But then he remembered the pain the demon had brought him and decided that it was either death, or him. Making the right decision, he went with death. So he turned around, and started marching back towards the meeting. Albeit very....slowly.

Town Square (1:00 pm)

Veeeeeeeery slowly.

How did you run this far in five minutes?

"It's pretty easy to do when you're scared shitless."

"HOW BIG IS YOUR DICK?!"

Yeah, what she said. Wait...huh?

"Are we in the right meeting?, asked the now confused Green Tea.

Death! What the hell?!

Watch your mouth! There are children present! Hehehehehe!

Why would you go and lie like that?!

Hey don't sell yourself so short Mr. 'holy man'. Besides, technically I'm not lying.

What? I am nowhere near that big! How could I...magic robes?

Magic robes!

...Why would I even....never mind, I really don't want to know.

Are you sure? It's a pretty cool story.

No thanks. I think I'd rather face this crowd of colorful, creepy ponies.

Suit yourself! But if you do want to hear that story, just let me know!

After having that lovely conversation with death, Gregory sneezed, forcing everyone out of the dead awkward silence. Berry had (drunkenly) started to move towards the stage while everypony was coughing nervously. Just as she took the first step on the stairs leading to the stage, she tripped and hit her face hard on the cold ground. But, being as drunk as she was, she just shoved it off and continued up the stairs (much slower then before).

When she got on stage she went right up to Gregory and asked, "Are you for REal Mokney?"

"Er...yeah...It's pretty big."

"Yeah no kidding. Is that the avearage of a hooman?"

"Well. I don't think so. I'm almost fairly certain that the average is at least half of that. But I don't go around measuring if that's what you're asking."

This comment caused Berry and several others to bust out laughing

"Hey I like you Guy...What wazz your name agaen?"

"...Gregory..."

"So Gregory....ever been with a mare before?"

NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!

YEP! YEP! YEP! YEP! YEP!

"BERRY PUNCH!", a light gray earth pony mare with two shot glasses clinking together as a cutie mark, called out from the crowd.

"Oh crap...UH...HeY DUBBLE DOWN! HOW YA BEEN?", Berry so eloquently inquired while trying to stand still on stage, which only made her look like she was doing some kind of dance.

"YOU GET OFF OF THAT STAGE RIGHT NOW! WERE GOING HOME TO HAVE A TALK ABOUT YOUR BEHAVIOR!"

Killjoy...

Saint!

"Buuut Duubbbble! I wanna plow the Gregory!" Several mothers and fathers covered their children's ears at that one. Double Down simply jumped on stage, and began dragging her drunk friend away from the crowd.

"You are in SO MUCH TROUBLE MISSY! YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE!"

Berry gasped. "Y...you don't mean?"

"THATS RIGHT! WHEN WE GET HOME WE'RE SOBERING YOU UP AND WASHING YOUR MOUTH OUT!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! CALL MY MOM! CALL MY DAD! BRING ME TO CELESTIA'S RAPE DUNGEON! JUST DONT MAKE ME BE SOBER WHEN YOU PUT SOAP IN MY MOUTH!"

"WELL I CAN'T GIVE IT TO WHILE YOUR DRUNK BECAUSE YOU WON'T TASTE THE FULL EFFECT!" It took 7 long, hilarity ensued minutes for Double Down to get Berry off the stage, and back to her house. Everypony was quietly watching the entire time.

So...that just happened.

Does Celestia really have a rape dungeon?

Don't know don't care.

Why don't you use your robes to read Twilights mind and-

DON'T KNOW! DON'T CARE!

After another awkard silence, hooves started to raise in great succession. It seemed that they were pretty used to Berry's antics, and would not be deterred from said actions, from asking questions. Several serious questions arose like the history of Nalarath, more about King Zachary, why wear the different colored gloves, why are you still holding that scythe...

Oh crap I uh...Death you left your scythe here.

Hmm? Where?

Uh...here. In my hand.

Oh right sorry let me just....there got it!

Hey that reminds me...where's my cane?

*POP*

Oh thank you robes.

"Sorry about that, the scythe wasn't mine. I was just borrowing it from a friend."

"Well where did the cane come from? Is it yours?"

"Yes it is mine and it came from...magic... Yeah magic..."

Surprisingly enough that seemed to satisfy the curious green pony.

This one has been asking a lot of questions. And for some reason he seems familiar...

Probably because he's the pony that ran away screaming from my amazing introduction.

Oh right. Thanks for that by the way. No better way to introduce yourself to a group of strangers then to scare the crap out of them.

I cant think of a better way.

Sarcasm.

No I think they would hate that.

No I was using...never mind.

They were several more questions after that about humans, Nalarath, and his strange attire. Even though Gregory had given a long boring speech about religion, and the whole Berry Punch incident, they were able to finish everything five minutes to three. Once finished, Gregory announced Pinkie Pie to the stage who gave a quick speech about a party for Gregory being held at Sugarcube Corner at 4. Then Mayor Mare announced that it was also mandatory. But really she didn't need to say that, who would miss out on a Pinkie Pie party on purpose? Nopony,that's who, especially not after the last incident... The ponies in this town learned quick that if Pinkie is throwing a party and you're invited, unless you're sick and or dying, then you're going to that party.

With an hour to kill and nothing better to do, Gregory decided to walk around town and see how the ponies lived their daily lives. That is, he did that after begging Twilight because he was bored and that they had already finished with the big introduction so there was no need to worry about the town going into panic. Shortly after his begging with Twilight though, he had come face to face with that strange green pony who had asked the most questions out of any pony. The poor stallion was shaking in his figurative boots. He just seemed so...nervous. Gregory just decided to brush it off as him being shy.

I think it's because he has a crush on you.

And I think you're an asshole.

Touché'

"Um Mr. Gregory sir. C-Could you come with me please? I'm uh...an interviewer for the local newspaper and I was hoping to get an exclusive!"

"Uh, sure I guess. Where do you want us to do this interview?"

"Um...how about my place?"

Okay I was joking at first but now I'm serious. I think he has a crush on you and he wants to ask you out! The whole 'I work for the local newspaper and I want an exclusive' is just a cover up to hide the fact that he wants to take you to his place so he can bend you over the banister and-

Death....please shut up. Just shut up. Although I do agree with you.

AHA! So you do admit he's gay and he wants your butt love!

What? That's not...Ugh, I was saying that I think your right that he's lying. He is definitely covering something up.

Yea. His dick in lube so it goes in all smoo-

DEATH! SHUT UP! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT THAT FAR!

Hey I'm not the one taking anything far. You on the other hard are about to get some hardcore stallion wiener in your-

Death...I swear by all that is both holy and unholy, I will focus this pent up energy and unleash it in one so amazing Reapers yell, that EVERYONE IN THIS PLANET AND THE ONES SURROUNDING IT, WILL DIE AND BECOME ZOMBIES!

...

"Yeah sure fine. Let's just make this quick okay?", Gregory told the green pony while grabbing his cane and readjusting his sunglasses. "By the way, what's your name?"

The green pony simply smiled and responded, "It's Green Tea. Thank you so much for agreeing to this interview! Let's get going to my house yeah? It isn't far."

"Good because I'm not really in the mood for walking to far."

You wont be in the mood for walking at all when he's done with you.

BURN IN HELL!

Right back at ya friend!

The Dead walk the Earth (Day 1, part 5)/ Oh sh*t it's actually happening!

The Dead walk the Earth (Day 1, part 5)/ Oh sh*t it's actually happening!

Green Tea's house (3:30pm)

It had been a boring and uncomfortable walk towards Green Tea's house but they had finally made it. The whole walk there Green Tea just became more and more nervous, which did not go unnoticed by Gregory.

Geeze this guy is jumpy...

When the two had made it to the mansion, Gregory had stopped long enough to let out a low whistle, and comment on the luxurious house.

"Wow Green Tea! I didn't know interviewer's made THAT much money!"

Ignoring the compliment, Green Tea walked up the steps towards the front door. When he reached the door he grabbed the handle with one hoof while spinning on his others to face Gregory.

"P-Please come inside m-my humble ab-abode," Green Tea nervously stuttered.

Once inside, Gregory's jaw nearly hit the floor. To him, this place was even bigger on the inside! The enchanting appeal of the house reminded Gregory of King Zachary's castle. The furniture looked expensive, as if each cushion would cost a small fortune! Each painting on the wall portrayed beautiful landscapes, ranging from grassy fields to illuminated mountaintops. One painting in particular stole Gregory's attention. It was a magnificent painting of Celestia sitting in a lush green field while admiring the sunset.

"I uh...would you like some t-tea?", Green Tea offered while wiping sweat off of his brow.

"Hmm? Oh sure that would be nice," Gregory responded absentmindedly.

The artwork is so...beautiful. Every last detail is...enchanting. And even though it does consist of so much color,I cant seem to look away...

It's a good thing you remembered to keep your shades on then.

Hmm? Oh right...the sunglasses. Death, will you just look at this place? It's amazing!

Gregory turned in place several times, taking in every detail he could; the marble fireplace, the iron columns, the golden framed mirror showing a disgusting house with Green Tea sitting on the bed eating his own intestines, the imported thread laced pillows, the...wait. Quickly turning back towards the mirror, Gregory discovers himself looking back. The room behind the 'mirror Gregory' seems to be just the same as the one he is standing in.

That was odd...I thought I saw something.

What kind of something?

Just a...never mind. It's not important.

Gregory, withholding information from me will get you no where. Tell me now.

Well, I thought that I saw a-

"The Tea is done!", Green Tea exclaimed, emerging from the kitchen with a tray holding two cups filled with piping hot tea sitting on saucers. He found his way over to a table that Gregory had somehow missed in his sweep of the room. Sitting the tray down on the table and taking a seat, he motioned for Gregory to sit in the chair across from him. Once seated, Gregory took a tentative sip on the hot Tea.

"Mmmm. Just the right mix. What's in this tea?", Gregory complemented while blowing on his tea before taking another sip.

"Oh uh...Ju-just a family recipe I've kept with me," Green Tea stammered while taking a sip of his own tea.

The two just sat there in silence after that. Every now and then one would raise up their tea to take a sip. Although to Green Tea and the demon it was silent, Gregory and Death were in the middle of a conversation.

You have to admit death, this is a pretty nice house for an interviewer.

I bet it's his mom's and he just lives in the basement.

Death! How could you say that?

Easily. There is no way anyone on an interviewers salary could afford a house as nice as this. And trust me, I've seen a few interviewers souls' in my day. Tell me, when was the last time you saw such fine things in a place other then the castle?

Well...maybe he has another job?

Yeah...interviewing people for a town newspaper is kind of a one job deal I do give you credit for trying though. But please, just quit trying to deny the fact that this whole thing is made up. He just want's you to drink his spiked tea so you pass out and then he can rape you.

Death...I swear, just because someone is being nice doesn't mean that...Hey...why is the ground getting closer...to....my...faaaaaaaccce.

Better clench your butthole Gregory, he's going in dry!

Gregory passed out and slammed his head on the table while falling, spilling the remaining spiked tea onto the nice rug.

"Oh thank god that worked!", Green Tea exclaimed with a sigh of relief.

Indeed. Even I was worried for a minute that would not work.

"Yeah. Now I guess I just put him in the trap right? Then after that we....go to the...thing...and pick up...sheep.

Green tea? Talk to me! YOU IDIOT! DID YOU SPIKE BOTH THE TEAS?

"I was....worried he'd do the...switch thingy on me....so...I....zzzzzz"

Oh you useless....When we wake up, you are going to be in SO MUCH PAIN!

Green Tea's basement. (3:45pm)

"Ugh...mah head...W-Where am I?", groaned an exhausted Applebloom.

"Mmmrrmhm...Appleboom? Is that you?", Scootaloo mumbled to the left of Applebloom.

Before Applebloom could respond, a light snoring was heard to her right.

"Sweetiebelle?", Both ponies questioned toward the snoring.

"Eeehh...Five more minutes Rarity....It's Saturday...zzzz"

Shaking herself around violently, Scootaloo managed to hit Sweetie Belle in the face with her tail a few times.

"Wake up Sweetiebelle!"

"Huh...who...where am I?"

"The real question is, where are we. And...Why are my hooves tied together?"

Suddenly panicked and fully awake, the CMC each look at themselves to see that they are in fact, all tied up in a dark closet. Though there is very little light, there is enough to see that their predicament is grim. With confusion and fear running through their bodies, they decide to relieve some of the tension, by screaming. They scream, cry for help, and bang on the closet door with their bodies but to no avail. No one can hear them. After a solid ten minutes of nothing but screaming and banging on the door, they sit together, tired, sweaty, and still tied up.

"How did we even get here?"

"I think...I remember us having a meeting at the clubhouse."

"Oh ya...And then there was this green stallion feller who fought us and put us in bags."

"Hey yeah! I remember fighting him with those lessons in karate from Rainbow Dash!! I kicked that sorry stallion right in the jaw before he...got me too. Oooh when I break out of here! I'm gonna-"

"Grooooooooaaaaan!"

All three ponies became scared again as a muffled groan came from just outside the door. It was unnerving enough to make them all jump up and huddle together in the middle of the room.

"Wh-Wha-What the heck was that?!", Sweetie Belle questioned, her voice beginning to crack from fright.

"Beats me! But ah suggest we get out of here before we find out!"

"Good idea Applebloom! I second that motion!"

"Ditto!"

"Okay, motion carried! But first, we gotta find a way to get out of these ropes."

The CMC sat in the dark closet, desperately trying to think of a way to free themselves of the rope. It was not easy to do, as the whole time they sat thinking, the moaning seemed to intensify. It sounded like there were a dozen or more of those...groaning things. After what seemed like hours though, Scootaloo's fear of these moans had turned into irritation at the annoying noise makers. It was truly only half an hour before Sweetiebelle came up with a plan.

"I've got it!", proclaimed Sweetiebelle. "Why don't we just chew through the rope?"

"Hey yea...That could work!"

"All in favor?"

Three little fillies shouted aye in unison.

"All apposed?"

"GROOOOOOOOAN"

"Your vote doesn't count!", Scootaloo shouted at the door.

"Quite Scootaloo! I don't want to make whatever is making that noise mad! Or let it know where we are!"

"Oh and screaming for about ten minutes while shouting for help didn't give away our position or make it mad? Besides, we've been in here for like...eeeevvver and these things wont shut up!"

"GROOOOOOOOAN"

"See?!"

"...Point taken."

"It did sort ah lose it's scary effect after ah while didn't it?"

"GROOOOOOAN!"

"Moving on! Scootaloo, hold still while ah chew through your rope, and Sweetie Belle, while I'm doing that, you chew through mine, and Scootaloo-"

"Let me guess, chew through Sweetiebelle's rope?"

"Yeeeaup!"

It took a full fifteen minutes before they realized that this was a stupid idea. Each of their mouths were sore and tasted of rope, and they were still tied up.

"Nice plan Sweetiebelle!"

"Hey you said it was a good idea!"

"No I didn't! It was just the only plan anyone came up with so I decided to go with it!"

"Well who's fault is that?"

"GROOOOOOAN!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!"

While Scootaloo and Sweetiebelle were bickering at each other and the annoying unknown creatures beyond their prison, Applebloom sat concentrating on a new way for them to escape. As she swept her head around the room for the fifth time, she saw something that she hadn't noticed before. Sitting directly in front of her was a bloody knife. She continued to ignore the escalating argument in the background, and crawled her way towards the knife. It took a few tries, but she managed to pick the knife up with her mouth and began cutting herself free.

"You're always full of stupid ideas!"

"And you're stupid for following them!"

"Girls?"

"No you're stupider for tricking me into following them!"

"Giiirls?"

"Well you're stupid for thinking that stupider is a word!"

"Girls!"

"It is too a word! You're the stupidest for thinking it isn't!"

"GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRLS!"

Scootaloo and Sweetiebelle stop their bickering to see Applebloom free of her bonds with a very disappointed look on her face. She slowly walked towards the two while still carrying the bloody knife in her mouth.

"Mee mrrf ah ooh ffhood no metta ehn ah ite ike at! Ah ean, oour ends mor ete shake! uuur fhupposhed oo ee shummortime oov eac over, eshpechiawee in a crishish shituathion ike ish!"
("The two ah you should know better then ta fight like that! Ah mean, you're friends for pete sake! You're supposed to be supportive of each other, especially in a crisis situation like this!"), Applebloom exclaimed while cutting through their ropes.

"You're right Applebloom. I'm sorry Sweetiebelle!"

"I'm sorry too! Group hug?"

Now completely rope free and full of forgiveness, the trio hugged in the darkness. But the sentimental moment did not last long as they quickly remember why they wanted to get out of the rope in the first place. With their newfound freedom, they headed towards the door to open it, only to discover it was locked.

"Aw come on!", shouted Scootaloo, while she started to bang on the door.

"Stupid, stupid, door! Why..." BAM "Wont..." BAM "You..." BAM "Ope-oooaaawh!"

That last pound on the door was enough to force it off it's hinges, and cause Scootaloo to fall with it.

"Wow nice job Scootaloo!", Sweetiebelle praised.

"Yea that was something alright. But why didn't that work earlier?"

"Heh, I guess I don't know my own strength." Scootaloo said while blushing and rubbing the back of her head.

Applebloom put a hoof to her chin in thought while she scanned the fallen foe. "Ah'm willing to bet that this door is pretty old. Ah think it just needed to be hit in the right spot enough to break."

"Or maybe I'm just that awesome!", exclaimed Scootaloo, while buzzing her wings excitedly.

Both Applebloom and Sweetie Belle just gave Scootaloo a deadpan stare.

"Or the door was old...," Scootaloo grumbled while crossing her hooves.

"Yeah...How about we talk about the structural foundation of this weird room later? We should really be focusing on escaping further before we get caught by those-"

"GROOOOAAAN!"

"REALLY ANNOYING AND RUDE THINGS!", Sweetiebelle squeaked.

"...Groan?"

"Uuuuuuugh. Which way is the exit?"

The CMC left the defeated boss door behind in search of an exit. They were too busy escaping to notice that one of the doors at the far end had also been pushed off its hinges. They were also to busy to notice the zombie stallion that came stumbling out of the room, covered in ropes, that were quickly and poorly tied, and wearing duct tape around it's mouth.

"GROOOOAAAN!"

After groaning for the millionth time along with it's fellow zombie friends, the zombie pony turned to where he heard the fillies escaping. Ripping the duct tape from his mouth, the zombie pony began it's trudge to catch up to the little fillies. He did not care who they were or how they were here. All that mattered to him and his fellow zombies was one thing. And with the duct tape no longer covering his groans, he was able to express his true intentions while making his way towards the CMC.

"FEEEEEED!"

The cry was soon echoed, as more and more doors were blasted off of their hinges, revealing the other zombie ponies that were ready to feed.

"FEEEED!"

"FEEEED!"

"FEEEED!"

Sugarcube Corner (3:55pm)

Twilight Sparkle was freaking out, big time. The party was about to start and Gregory was no where to be found. She had asked Rainbow Dash to do a quick sweep of the town, to see if he had gotten lost or hurt. When she came back with empty hooves after the tenth search, Twilight started to really worry.

Oh no no no no no! The party is about to start! Ooooh! Where are you Gregory?! How are we going to keep these ponies distracted AND fight off a zombie invasion! I can't do it! I can't breath! I need-

Suddenly, something in Twilight snapped. Her eyes grew wide and her pupils traveled apart from each other. She adopted an unsettling smile that appeared more like she was grinding her teeth together. Her mane became unkempt with loose ends popping up. Rubbing her hooves together and chuckling like a mad pony, Twilight exclaimed, "Ideeeea!"

Author's Note

I'm sorry for the delay.

Yada Yada BS Excuses...

I was being lazy

Uh Duuuuh...

I have a job now

Yada Yada. BS...wait what? That's a new one.

Yes but its true so now my free time will be cut haaaaaarshly.

So wait... now your going to make these people wait longer for a chapter update?

Well considering I like being paid...ya...but it gets worse.

How much worse can it get? You've started doing a chapter every 2 months. AND THEY'RE ONLY LIKE 2000+ WORDS! IT TAKES YOUR READERS FIVE MINUTES TO FINISH A CHAPTER THAT TAKES YOU THIS LONG TO WRITE! SO TELL ME YOU LAZY JERK, HOW CAN IT GET WORSE?!

...This chapter was supposed to be posted months ago. And I haven't even started on a new one. After I got my job I kind of...lost touch with this site..

...No

I...W-What?

I SAID NO! THIS IS UNEXCEPTABLE! I DONT CARE HOW MUCH THE JOB IS PAYING YOU! YOU PROMISED A STORY! ARE YOU GOING BACK ON A PROMISE?

Well technically I never promised so...

SHUT UP! YOU'RE WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER! NOW!

Pfft yeah write. What are you gonna do if I don't?

*Finger snap*

*POOF!*

*Death whistling* *Death checks his watch*

*POOF!*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHGHGHGH!

So how was that personal hell where you had no skin and everything was covered in acid while being eaten by a dog made of other skinless humans?

IM STARTING THE CHAPTER LOOK! SEE I HAVE A TITLE!

Zombie Party time! (Or the Day the dead walk the Earth (Night one part 6)/Pony brains is gooood brains!

I-I e-even have the f-f-first line!

Gregory awoke to find that-

Ah my work here is done. Death here folks! Check in next week for a new chapter! Isn't that right piggy?

P-please don't hurt me!

I'll think about it...now write! Bye fans! Thanks for reading! Say bye to the fans Piggy!

H-help M-meeee!

What's that piggy? You want to go to the version of hell where your eyes are replaced with your favorite flavor of icecream but you can eat them because your tongue is sandpaper and your teeth are glass?

AAAAH! I MEAN! BYE AND THANK YOU FOR READING! NEW CHAPTER EVERY FRIDAY NOW! CUZ DEATH IS MY FRIEND RIGHT DEATH! AH AHHHA HAHAAAH!

*Author crying in the corner*

Nalarath, Father Gregory's home/ colorful prison.

Nalarath, Father Gregory's home/ colorful prison.

Nalarath

The city of Nalarath became illuminated by the early morning light. Denizens began to creep their way out of their makeshift homes to attend to the daily chores. The farmers went to tend to their crops, the blacksmiths to their forges, the fishers to their bait etc etc. Just a calm morning for all in the sweet little city.

Well...almost everyone. One house in Nalarath stood out more than the others. And thats not to say that the others were boring in comparison. Quite the opposite in fact. The buildings were complex works of art with a sort of rythym to them. They were all painted with bright and vivid colors that didnt seem to match. But at the same time it seemed to just fit.

Except...this house. It stood at an odd angle with a slanted roof and was poorly made. The outside appeared to be concrete with grey tinted windows. The door was a dark red and was cracked in several places. The yard was also unkept causing several vines to grow into the concrete and crawl towards the windows. Not only was the house the least appealing building in the city, it's location was way off from the beautiful symmetry/asymmetry of Nalarath.

Instead of being hidden by two massive buildings smooshed into an alleyway, like the ugly thing should be , it stood in the middle of town, a stones throw away from the marketplace, the park, and the town church.

Though the strangest thing about the house was not the location or the condition. The strangest thing about it, was the person who inhabited such a place. Who would think that a priest would live in a house away from the church? And it just had to be THAT house!

Father Gregory didnt mind his house though. In fact he liked it better then the rest of his colorful town prison. Some questioned why he would choose not to live in his church if he felt the need to be away from color. But they seem to forget the colorful taperstries and artwork decorating the inner sanctum.

No, if he was to stay in there for too long he would have a headache. He could only go out into town every so often to get his essential grocerries. Even just a few hours outside of his grey safe haven would cause him great misfortune. Most people could understand his predicament and would try to cheer him up by trying to strike up a conversation . Others would whipser to each other and shy away from his precense. Which group do you think he liked more?

But Father Gregory always gave his service with a bright smile and a happy attitude. If anyone had a problem, he was happy to help them in any way he could (so long as he didnt have to leave his house for too long.) And why did he do this? Because he believed in God, and that God wanted him to do good things for his fellow man. So he did so without question or fuss.

Well...a few questions and as little fuss as possible considering what was asked of him at times. Paint the town hall? Its already colorful enough! This whole town is more colorful than a rainbows asshole! But he helped anyway. Although mumbling the whole time about having a sermon saying that God hated color. He would never lie like that though (if only for fear of God punishing him). No one is perfect, not even a holy man.

Hours after the town had awoken and the marketplace became a buzz with people, Father Gregory arose. He had stayed up late last night reciting and memorizing his next sermon about how it is important to remember your psalms and proverbs. Remembering the psalms and proverbs was the easy part for him. He had already done it before.
The hard part was convincing other people that it was important without just shouting out them or being so boring they wouldnt listen. To perform a sermon you need to have the appropriate method to go with your topic.

Father Gregory began his morning routine of showering and brushing his teeth all the while going over his speech in his head. Afterwords he headed towards his kitchen for some much needed sustinence. As he was eating breakfast he decided that after the sermon it would be a good time to mention some of the colorful buildings that havn't served a purpose in a while. Just standing there taking up space and invading the world with...colors. He closed his eyes and sighed happily just imagining being able to walk through the market and see some absence of color.

It wasnt that he hated color oh no. It's just that after so many years of living in color can make you sorta...go crazy. Half the time thats what Gregory thought the people were. He wasnt the only one to hate the colors though. Several had left the town in the last couple of years complaining of too much color.

So we give the buildings purpose by putting people in them or just tear them down. Either way win win. Thought Father Gregory as he finished the last of his eggs, toast and bacon. "Bacon!" He suddenly rushed to check his refrigerator and looked inside his meat drawer. Pulling out some ham and other various meats, he came across an untouched surplus package of bacon.

Sighing with releif he put the meat back in the drawer and put his dishes in the sink to clean. "Thought I would have to go into town for some more." He said out loud with a grimace. After cleaning his dishes he glanced at the clock revealing the time to be 8:55. "Five minutes till its time. And im probably not going to be the first one there."

Pushing away his thoughts of wanting to call in sick today, he stepped outside shortly after grabbing his cane and pocket bible. He didnt really need the cane but it calmed him just to hold it. It wasnt special or anything, just a plain black metal like cane. Then again no color for Father Gregory was special.

When he arrived at the entrance to the church his suspicions were confirmed as he saw a small mass of people waiting for him to enter. It was tradition in Nalarath for a Priest to enter first and then declare to the people that they were safe to enter. Since he was the only priest not in sick today, that job fell upon him. Preacher Jameson had caught a nasty cold just last week and hadn't been able to shake the stuff. Preacher Michael had attracted the same cold from dipping his hands in the same holy water that Jameson had touched. (Him and thirty-three other people.)

After that incident Father Gregory had given a joke sermon on how cleanliness is next to Godliness. That seemed to brighten the mood at the time. However on his way up the stairs to the church door he didnt see any happy faces in the croud. More so they seemed royally ticked off. It probably had something to do with Father Gregory always waiting till the last second to go to the church while Michael and Jameson would always come hours early.

These people need a hobby if there just going to wait at church for hours. Maybe I should put that in a sermon..."Father Gregory thought as he opened the door to the church. Turning to the crowd while standing on the opposite side of the door he cleared his throat and said "The church of God grants you the opportunity to enter and worship. I, Father Gregoy, see all of you as worthy to participate into todays sermon. Please enter." And with that he turned and walked towards the podium while listening to the sound of footsteps fall in line behind him.

(From Father Gregory's POV)

Pain...Something's not right. Some one screamed. A woman? What's that dripping sound? People are running. Is the church shrinking? Pain...blood...something sharp being pulled from my back...crying...my knees hurt...I'm falling...falling....smells like pancakes?...Blackness.

Ponyville

In the second story of a certain tree/ library/ house, Twilight wakes from Celestias sun stinging her face. After groaning and rolling out of bed, she walks over to the small basket next to her bed that has a small dragon in it. Spike is snoring loudly with a small smile on his face and a bit of drool on his lips.

"Rarity..." He giggles while still sleeping

Twilight just rolls her eyes at the display and starts to gently prod him with her hoof. "Come on Spike its time to start your chores. Rise and shine!"

Spike grunts at the word chores and reluctantly begins to rise from his tiny bed. "Aw but Twilight! I was in the middle of the most awesome dream!"

Twilight eyed him directly and asked "Did it have anything to do with Rarity?"

Spike gave a nervous chuckle while rubbing the back of his head with a claw and balancing on his heels. " E-heh well...maybe..."

Twilight just giggled at his actions. "Come on Romeo, we have to make sure everything is right for tonight! So I need you to help me double time with the chores!" She said in a very sudden and serious tone.

Spike gave a low grumble at having to do more chores. But then he remembered why tonight was so special. Tonight was the night that all of Twilights friends would be going to Canterlot to have a sleepover at the Castle. They needed to make sure that the library was in tip top shape for the replacement to take over.

Normally Twilight would have rejected the idea of Spike joining in on a sleepover at the castle. But lately she had felt that she was becoming less attached to the poor drake and needed to spend some more time with him. That and he kept begging non-stop and doing crazy stunts just to go after Pinkie had spilled the beans about it weeks ago. She had finally given in when a certain incident had left her with part of her mane missing and him missing lot of scales.

She shuddered at the memory. Where did he even get a vial of acid? Thought Twilight. Of course her mane grew back along with his scales. But the memory of him without scales shivering in a corner with a sad look just hurt her. And the acid. That hurt a lot to. Thankfully it wasn't serious enough to eat through flesh. It still hurt like crazy though. But she decided to forgive him and said that as long as he didn't try anything crazy like that and went to bed at a decent time then he could come with her. She wasn't totally surprised when he rushed up to hug her. It just felt a little weird touching a dragon without scales. He feels like a peach. Twilight thought with a smile.

But of course that had let the issue stand as to who could run the library while she was away. At first she thought it a lost cause but then remembered that the party would be on a Saturday night. So she just had to find someone who could be free on a Sunday morning (because according to Spike, no one would want to go to a library at night for fun.) She argued that she would and he laughed saying that when it came to books, she'd do just about anything to get one.

"I bet you'd even kiss Rainbow Dash!" Spike said while rolling on the floor in a laughing fit. He then continued to list off things Twilight would do for a book. Eventually he stopped because Twilight had magically sealed his mouth shut and scolded him about teasing her. But they both apologized shortly afterword.

After that little debacle, Twilight decided they should go ask Cherilee since school was closed on Sunday and she would be free. Twilight told her to time frame and what needed to be done should anyone want a book. Cherilee accepted and said she would be there before they left the next night.

So now Spike and Twilight were cleaning the library and reorganizing everything. Living with Twilight for so long had gotten Spike used to the idea of random reorganizing. If Twilight was anything, it was neat and orderly. Some would call a messy room Controlled Chaos. For Twilight it was more of a clean room that needed to be cleaned in a different way every time depending on certain events. So...Chaos Controlled? Eh whatever. It didn't matter to Spike. All that did matter was that him, Twilight, and her friends would be going to Canterlot for a sleepover. He was excited he was going to get to see all of his friends...especially Rarity.

Tonight was the night that he would finally ask her on a date. For the past couple of days he had been practicing in secret when Twilight didn't need him and the library had no visitors. Though no matter how many times he practiced he still felt extremely anxious about this idea. He cleared his mind with a calm breathing technique that Twilight had taught him.
He couldn't let doubt cloud his mind so he needed to just think positive.

It didn't take them long to get everything in order. What did take long was the check, the double check, the triple check, the check of the check, the double check of the double check, the triple check of the check, the sextuple check over all the checks, the checkbook, putting spike in checkmate then playing a game of checkers, The millionth check over everything done. (WAITER! CHECK PLEASE!!)

Now all that was left to do was leave and gather the others. So with sleeping bags and other items in tow, the two went off to find their other friends. The train was leaving in a few hours so they would have enough time to hang out before hand. With that in mind they made a beeline for Sugarcube Corner to grab Pinkie Pie.

Author's Note

The first chapter to hopefully a good story. Only time can tell.

And readers of course.

The Dead Walk the Earth (Night 1)/ EVERBODY'S GETTING HIT TONIGHT!

The Void

When Gregory opened his eyes after some time, he noticed that he was back in the void for some reason. He wasn't about to complain about it though. After all the things he had been through today, he could use some peace, quiet, and darkness. But life has a funny way of altering someone's plans of relaxation, and turning them into anything but relaxing. This method also applies to the dead, as Gregory soon found out, when a bony fist met his jaw.

AH! What the hell Death?!

Oh good, your finally awake.

How long was I out?

Long enough, trust me. Now get going, you got work to do.

Work? But I-

Remember the zombies?

Oh right... But how am I supposed to-

Hey no more advice from me until you take care of this nightmare you just put everyone in!

..Fine. Can I at least get a headway?

Maybe if you take me out to dinner first.

...

...

Fine I'm going. I don't need your idiocy or your perverted advice anyway.

Try not to die!

Twilight's house (shocker) (9:00 pm)

Gregory awoke in reality with a sudden gasp. Taking in his surroundings, he noticed that it was dark. If what Twilight said about Luna is correct, then that means she must have raised the moon. Which also means that she's awake, Gregory thought, with a heavy sigh. When he turned to his left, his suspicions were confirmed, as a regal coated blue hoof was heading directly for his face. Oh not again...

With some sort of reflexes Gregory didn't know he possessed, he swiftly dodged Luna's attack with a tuck n' roll. Unfortunately for him, he had failed to take notice of what was to his right when he dodged Luna's attack. After a successful avoidance of hoof to face contact, Gregory rand head first into another regal figure. This one however, was very tall, very white, and very...sad?

Princess Celestia towered over the crouching Gregory, with tears in her eyes. She could not believe what this human was capable of. It made her sad to think that Gregory would even use this attack on them. But then again, Luna had attacked first. Still, she just couldn't believe this whole situation she had found herself and everypony else in.

She had made a horrible decision, in allowing trust into her student over this certain matter. Yes she did believe in Twilight's capabilities and trusted her with a number of tasks. But she was starting to realize that, she may have been putting too much faith in her prized pupil. As she turned to where Twilight and Spike lay, both still asleep, a single tear was shed at the situation she had allowed. This was all her fault. But before she could begin berating herself, she had to know just one thing.

"Why?", Celestia asked Gregory.

"Well in my defense, Luna was about to attack me again when-," Gregory started, but was interrupted by Celestia.

"No I mean...Why did you come here? Why were you acting so strange? And why did you lie to us?"

"I...uh..."

Hey Death? Is it okay if I tell her?

Normally, since you are being punished, I would ignore your question. However, since I cannot predict the positive or negative outcome of you revealing me to them, then I say go for it. Hopefully they'll find a way to punish you.

"Princess Celestia, Princess Luna...you might want to sit down. This is going to take a while to explain.

????'s House (9:00pm)

"Oh thank Celestia I'm almost done," the green stallion mumbled tiredly. He had just recently finished boarding up the house, and was now going through every door in his basement. Per the demon's instructions, he silenced and detained the new alive/dead ponies. The demon's plan was simple, yet tasking. If the reaper couldn't find the dead souls, then they wouldn't be discovered. But that wouldn't stop some passerby pony from growing curios to the sounds of moaning, so they would have to silence the now living dead, and find a way to keep them from leaving their cells. Just because they were a nice way underground with very little chance of a pony discovering this place, the demon didn't want to risk it.

The green stallion had just finished room 116, (the room with the mare he had partially eaten last night.), and was on his way to finish the last door. When he opened the door however, a shocking sight met him. The pony in this room was dead. Not dead alive, not living dead, just dead. The green stallion approached with great caution.Maybe this one's late? With a trembling hoof, the green stallion reached out to touch the lifeless shell that was once Star Search. When he made contact with Star Search's face...nothing. So, with nothing else to do, he poked him again...and again.

This poking continued for a full minute, before it evolved into punching. The green stallion was getting nervous because he knew that the demon would not like this turn of events. He didn't know exactly how he would handle this new development, but he new it wouldn't be good.

So...The reaper did find one of ours...This is a most unfortunate development Green Tea.

"I thought I told you not to call me that." Green Tea replied with a frown. He had always hated that name his parents left him.

I thought I told you to shut up.

"..."

That's better. Now then...What do we do about the reaper?...

It didn't take long for a plan to find it's way into the demons' demented head. Green Tea did not like this idea at all however. It involved a lot of work on his part. But with some persuading, (threats), from the demon, he was given the proper motivation, (beating), to go forth with the plan, (bacon).

...What?

Twilight's house (10:36pm)

"And so that's the reason for my...strange behavior," Gregory finished. He had spent the last few hours telling the princesses about everything. Death, the void, his outfit and abilities, his hatred of colors. Halfway through his explanation he had to put his blindfold back on because the more and more he looked at Celestia, the brighter she seemed to glow. By the end of his explanation, Celestia had a look of understanding, and Luna one of utter confusion. Gregory couldn't see either reaction so he just assumed the worst.

"I see," Celestia started. "That would explain why we felt such immense dark power from you. It wasn't really your power we were sensing, it was Death's"

"If you would allow me to correct you your majesty," Death said through Gregory's voice."Most of what you sensed was my power. But...that initial build up leading to him yelling like that, was all him. It was from so much built up raw emotion of...anger towards my treatment towards you, and the misuse of his body."

And you better get back in the void before you start doing stupid things again.

Yes mom...

Celestia simply nodded at Death's explanation while Luna started to grow a look of understanding.

"So...you are a reaper?", Luna asked.

"According to Death yes," Gregory started. "But that isn't the biggest issue at the moment." Both Princesses raised their eyebrows at his statement and motioned for him to continue. Gregory sighed and said, "What I did is apparently referred to as a 'reapers yell.' It gives me the ability to mentally paralyze the living, like what happed to all of you," Gregory motioned to everyone in the room. (Or tried to. He basically swung his arm out in every direction.)

Twilight and Spike had recovered halfway through his explanation to the princesses. They had remained silent this whole time, and both were giving him a sad look. Twilight was stricken sad by Gregory's position and very upset that he had lied to them. Spike was practically devastated that Gregory had lied to him. At his...attempted acknowledgement towards them, they simply grunted. They understood the predicament he was in, and the reason he made the choice to hide that information from him. But it would be some time before they could truly forgive him for lying to them.

"It can also weaken demons and..." Gregory paused for a moment.

"Yes?", both princesses asked in unison.

"...And it can bring the dead souls that haven't been judged back to their bodies, creating zombies," Gregory finished with his head hung low. "And since I've only judged one soul so far....yeah you see where I'm going with this?"

Everyone was silent after that... but only for a moment.

"ZOMBIES!!??" Spike broke the temporary silence with great ease. He didn't stop there in making a scene of himself either. Without needing to pick up any momentum, he began a full sprint up to his room to hide in his basket. This went unnoticed to Gregory however, as he was to preoccupied checking his ears to see if they were bleeding.

Twilight freaked out as well, albeit, much more understandably. She simply sat there with her mouth open, eyes wide, and pupils dilated. It was really something for Celestia to see her hold that face for a full minute before breathing in deeply and hyperventilating. Okay...maybe Spike did handle it better then her. Sensing that her number one student needed help, Celestia rose from her spot, walked over to Twilight, and back-hooved her across the face. Without another word, Twilight stopped freaking out, and Celestia returned to her seat.

"...What just happened?", Gregory asked.

Nothing too important by the sound of it.

"Nothing too important," Celestia replied in a gentle tone.

Told you.

"Right so...I noticed that Twilight and Spike freaked out at the mention of zombies, yet neither you or Luna have. Am I too assume you have dealt with a situation like this?", Gregory asked.

"Well we have dealt with some very bad situations over the years," Luna started to explain. "But no matter what horrible thing is happening, it is important that we keep a calm demeanor. We are princesses after all, and as such, we should always hold an air of professionalism in great times of peril," Luna concluded with a smile.

"Is that why you hit me when I made that joke?", Death asked with a cheeky grin.

Luna huffed before responding. "That was different 'Death'. This was just a simple meeting to see what the new creature was. You had to ruin it with that awful joke, and let poor Gregory pay the price for it."

"Still mad at you for that by the way," Gregory responded with a snarl.

"Oh get you'll get over it eventually."

"Wait," Twilight cut in, interrupted their banter. "If Death is the one that upset Gregory...then wouldn't that mean it's his fault for Gregory freaking out, and using that 'reapers yell' therefore putting in motion the rising of the dead?"

...

...

...

"...Well uh..."

BUSTED!

Damn it Gregory! Let me think here!

HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE HUH?!

I SAID SHUT UP!

"We can play the blame game later," Celestia stated. "Right now we have to find out what to do about these zombies. I will issue out punishments after this matter is settled."

"I'll take mine in the form of a hard spanking," Death replied sensually. .

"Not in my body you won't!", Gregory retorted.

"SILENCE!!!",,Luna yelled, using the royal voice. "Now is not the time for stupidity! We need plans and action!"

"...Oh yeah...that calm and royal demeanor is really showing it's colors here princess tuna", Death laughed. Luna attempted to give him a glare, but was unsuccessful because of Gregory still wearing a blindfold.

"Wait a minute...I think I know what to do!", Twilight exclaimed excitedly.

Gregory did not like Twilights plan because it involved him doing a lot of work. But through some motivation, (threats), from the princesses, (everyone including Death and Spike), and words of self confidence, (bribery from Death to reveal to everyone Gregory's darkest secrets), Gregory agreed to the plan, (bacon).

...What?

Author's Note

So sorry for the wait. My cable was out for two days <:(. I had to go a full two days without T.V. or internet. It was...awful to say the least.

But now my connection is back and my providers are...more willing to cooperate with me from now on.

So here's a chapter to celebrate! WOO! THE DEAD ARE COMING TO LIFE!

Next chapter: The Dead Walk the Earth (Part 2)/Seriously, does anyone have a good idea?