Freudian Slip

Chapters

Admission Form
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Discharge Papers

Admission Form

Open Hooves Counseling Center
“Rest Easy in Our Open Hooves”
PATIENT ADMISSION FORM

Name: Rarity
Species: Unicorn
Eye Color: Azure
Mane Color: Violet
Coat: ~~Alabaster Ivory~~ White
Cutie Mark: Three (Marquise Cut) Diamonds
Date: 4/23/1
DOB: None of your business
Age: Still not telling

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Contact Pony: Twilight Sparkle
Place of Residence: Ponyville Library
Current Living Arrangements: Homeowner (Carousel Boutique)
Occupation: Dressmaker
Number of Siblings: 1

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Primary Symptoms (Please Describe in Detail; Attach Any Relevant Documents):
I have this problem with the imperfect and messy. Every morning, I have to wash myself in just the right way, comb my mane a certain number of times, and eat the same breakfast every morning before I can even start my day. There was an incident at my friend Twilight’s house where a tree found its way in through a window and mucked up the whole place. While my other friend Applejack set about to remove said tree from the room, I was too preoccupied with all the books that fell off the shelves. It wasn’t until Applejack gave a heartfelt speech that I actually stopped and helped. For a while, my condition improved and was less ‘picky’ about all the minor details. But for some reason, things have gotten worse. I can’t sleep at night without checking and double checking orders, the slightest annoyance sends me over the edge, and I haven’t talked to my friends in over a week. It wasn’t until Twilight confronted me that I broke down and told her what was happening. She said I had a problem and that I needed to talk to a professional. Rainbow Dash’s fiancé directed me here and said you would be able to help. He said you were the best in Ponyville.

Past Psychiatric Treatment:
My parents sent me to a counselor at a young age for anxiety problems and prescribed me some sort of anti-anxiety medication for it, but stopped shortly after I started developing insomnia and cluster headaches.
Current Psychiatric Medicines: None
Present and Past Drug/Alcohol Use: Every Saturday, I have a glass of wine before I go to bed. It’s [strike]not so much a ritual, as a[/strike] a ritual.

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Resident Psychiatrist Notes:
Patient presents with possible obsessive compulsive nature that could be compounded by Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Her primary Doctor at Ponyville Urgent Care advised me to seek alternate forms of treatment instead of medication, pointing out her previous reaction. Truth be told, I never planned to prescribe anything in the first place. I’ve met with her friend Twilight Sparkle and she confided in me that Rarity is at her wit’s end and just wants to be happy again. I had to make sure she understood what she was saying. Every pony that has come in here has told me that they want to be normal, that they want to be like everyone else. But not her. She just wants to be happy. This is going to be an interesting case.

Chapter 1

The grandfather clock in the corner of the room read 11:55 AM.

“Five more minutes.” You say to nopony in particular.

Taking another glance at the admission form, you try to get a feel for what to expect from your newest patient. Picking up your magnifying glass, you begin to look over Rarity’s handwriting for some clue into her personality. While it wasn’t an exact science, it had proved useful in the past.

Small hoofwriting… Could mean she’s a focused individual… you think as you glance it over. While the cursive itself was elegant and pleasing to the eye, something bugged you.

Third letter of each word is capitalized. Didn’t that mean cultural refinement? you ask yourself. You reach into your desk and retrieve a notebook and flip through a few pages before stopping at a particular one. Yup, there it is. I was right. And these tall t’s and d’s could mean vanity.

The sudden knock at the door makes you jump out of your chair, startling you out of your thoughts and sending the papers and magnifying glass into the air.

Acting quickly, you grab the magnifying glass with your mouth and scramble for the papers before stuffing everything into your desk drawer. As soon as things looked respectable, you clear your throat.

“Come in.”

Slowly, the door opens and a white unicorn stands in the doorway. Her purple mane looks unkempt and the bags under her eyes did nothing to hide the fact she’s had one too many sleepless nights.

“Come in and sit down Rarity. Oh, and close the door behind you.”

Rarity slams the door and stomps over to the couch before collapsing into a heap, sprawling out in an undignified fashion.

You wait for Rarity to say something, but she remains silent as she stares up at the ceiling.

“So… Rarity.” you begin. “Why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself?”

She rolls over onto her belly and looks at you with contempt. “You have everything you need in that paper I gave your secretary,” she says curtly “Or can’t you read it?”

Instead of sharing a few crass words with her, you smile warmly. “I assure you, I read it and re-read it. I just want to hear it from you.”

Rarity sighs heavily as she sits up on the couch and repositions herself, crossing her hind legs and putting her hooves in her lap.

She’s refined after all; that’s one, you think with a self-satisfied grin.

“Well, I run the Carousel Boutique out of my home. I get commissioned for my fabulous work from all over Equestria, since it’s clearly the best.”

And there’s the vanity. Two for two.

“I really don’t see why I need to see a psychiatrist. I mean, it’s not like I’m having second thoughts or anything, it’s just that… What if I’m overreacting?” she asks with a hopeful smile. “I mean, I’m not the toughest pony, not by a long shot and I would even label myself as being ‘delicate’, it's just... What if this is all just one big faux-pas?”

“We’re going to figure that out right now. Tell me a about some of the things that have been bothering you as of lately.”

Rarity takes a deep breath. “Well…”

As Rarity begins to rattle down an impressive list of grievances, from her bed sheets not being white enough to the hot tub water at the spa not being clean enough, you reach out and knock the mug of pencils on your desk over. Rarity immediately stops talking and stares intently at the mess.

You look to the pencils and then to Rarity. “Please continue,” you say nonchalantly.

“Aren’t you going to pick those up?” she asks sharply.

You shrug indifferently at the question. “I will later. Right now, I want to hear more about you.”

“O…Okay…” Rarity says shakily. “Well I… You see…” Rarity turns away from you but glances over at the pencils again. “…the thing is I… I…” Rarity’s left eye begins to twitch sporadically and she continues to stare at the mess of pencils. “I…I… I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” she screams. Using her magic, she levitates the mug and pencils into the air and puts them back in their original place.

“Much better,” she says elatedly “Now as I was saying, I-”

Reaching out, you knock the mug over again, causing Rarity to gasp aloud. “You’re doing that on purpose!” she cries. You simply stare back at her, waiting for her to do it again. And sure enough, she sets everything back in order, taking great pains to arrange it in the way it had been when she had first walked in.

“THERE! Now don’t do it again!” she says sternly.

You slowly reach out for the coffee mug again.

Rarity stares daggers at you as your hoof draws close. “DON’T. YOU. DARE.” she says, her words dripping with anger. You retract your hoof and put it in your lap, eliciting a sigh of relief from the frazzled mare.

“Good, now-”

In one swift movement, you knock the mug over again before Rarity can react. Rarity’s eyes bug out of her head as the pencils once more fall, her mouth agape as they hit the floor one by one.

Rarity leaps forward and slams her hooves down on the desk. “WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT?!?” she screams.

“Why do you keep picking them up?” you ask.

“Because!” she retorts as she picks the pencils up one by one, either forgetting she can just levitate them or too enraged to concentrate at the moment.

As Rarity bends down to pick up the final pencil, you step on it. She looks up at you, her mouth hanging agape.

“Because why?” you ask.

“Because it’s not right, you quack!” Rarity exclaims as she pushes your hoof away and picks the pencil up.

You let Rarity finish setting everything back up and calm down before saying anything else.

“I take it you’ve been spending a lot of time lately trying to make things ‘perfect’, am I right?”

“I guess...” Rarity says uneasily. “There’s nothing wrong with perfection, is there?”

“How often do you think you get the thought ‘This needs to be perfect’? Once, twice a day maybe? More?”

Rarity bites on her lower lip at the question and shifts uneasily in her seat. “More than a dozen seems closer, actually...” she says meekly.

“And aren’t these thoughts why you’re here today? Because you can’t sleep at night? Or go to the spa? Or talk to your friends?”

Rarity draws herself into the fetal position and remains silent.

“On a scale of one to ten, how anxious do you feel on a normal day when things aren’t perfect?”

She shakes her head “Eight... Maybe, nine...”

“And how long do you think you’ve had these thoughts?”

Rarity’s eyes begin to well up. “I don’t know...” Tears are starting to run down Rarity’s face as she tries shrink away from you.

Getting out of your chair, you take a seat next to Rarity. “How long?”

Rarity buries her face into your chest and cries openly. “Years...” she says breathlessly. You put a hoof around Rarity’s shoulder and draw her closer as her sobs turn into ragged cries.

“What’s wrong with me?”

Taking a deep breath, you try to find the right words. “It’s called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or ‘OCD’ for short. In some cases, it’s benign and people live ordinary lives with it. In others, these thoughts and compulsions take a hold of everything and can turn their whole lives upside down.”

You do your best to comfort her as you continue to explain.

“People get it for all sorts of reasons. Emotional trauma, genetics, injury... The list goes on and on. The fact that you’ve realized that you’ve got a problem and that what you’re feeling is wrong has probably made things worse. But I’m going to help you.”

Rarity looks up at you, tears still streaming down her face.

“I’m going to be there for you, every step of the way and you’re never going to have to face any of it alone.”

Rarity tries to regain her composure as she chokes back more tears. “P-Promise?” she asks.

You hold Rarity a little closer. “Promise.”

For the longest time, Rarity doesn’t say anything and her tears fade. You continue to hold her as the minutes tick by, waiting for the sign that she’s okay.

“W...What do we do now?” she finally asks.

“Welp-” you say as you get to your hooves “You’ve already admitted that you’ve got a problem and we’ve identified it.” You say as you help Rarity up. “Now, we try to treat It.” you say plainly. Rarity gives you an odd look.

“And just how do we go about doing that?”

Going back around your desk, you reach into a drawer and pull out a sheet of paper. “There are many treatments for OCD, but because of your history, we’re going to avoid medication. Even then I wouldn’t recommend it. Instead, we’re going to try some cognitive-behavioral therapy.” you say as you reach down for a pencil.

“Cognitive-behavioral therapy?” Rarity mimicked as she cocked her head to the side.

You can’t help but smile at Rarity’s puzzled expression.

Cute. You think as you continue to write.

You spit the pencil out of your mouth and give her the paper.

“This is your homework for tonight.”

Rarity takes the paper and looks it over, her face contorting in confusion. “What is this? ‘Bring any number of dresses to next appointment at 8 AM sharp?’”

You give her a nod. “Trust me, it will all make sense later on. Now, I don’t want you to make anything tonight. I want you to bring me something you’ve already done.”

Rarity looks the paper over and gives you an odd look. “Why didn’t you just tell me instead of writing it down?”

You chuckle at the question and lead Rarity to the door. “Rarity mein fräulein, in my line of work, when a pony walks out that door, they don’t tend to do what I ask unless I’m there holding their hoof or write it out for them. And it’s not because they forget, it’s because they think it’s not going to help them. You get what I’m saying?”

Rarity looks at the note and then back to you. “Yes Doctor, I think I do.”

You give Rarity a smile as you walk with her out into the streets of Ponyville. “Good. Now I’m sorry I have to cut this short, but I’ve got to leave for a consult.”

“Of course Doctor, I understand. I’ll see you tomorrow, I promise!”

She’s getting better already you think with smile.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Damn it all!” the unicorn yells as he watches the golf ball sail off into the air. “Sliced it.”

“I still don’t see why you think magic will make your golf swing better, Bones.”

“And I still can’t figure out how you swing so well without it, Fritz.”

“Years of practice and a steady swing.”

“Yeah, yeah... Come on, let’s go find my golf ball.”

“Bones, I have to ask. Why do you still do your consults like this? I mean, doing them back at your office seems smarter.”

“Yeah, but it’s less fun. And besides, Dash has been dragging me all around, taking me wedding shopping and I haven’t had any time to play.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot to congratulate you on that. Glückwünsche.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you at the wedding, right?”

“Count on it.”

“So, how did it go with Rarity?”

“She’s definitely in a tight spot. Her OCD is making her miserable. But she wants to get better.”

“That’s what matters, right?”

“Right... Hey Bones?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t need a consult, do you?”

“No...”

“You just wanted to play golf, didn’t you? Because the responsibility of marriage is getting to you and you just want a sense of normalcy?”

“Fritz, I hate it when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“...Never mind, just golf.”

Chapter 2

Finding yourself with some free time, you fumble around with your Rubik’s Cube, hoping to solve it once and for all. “I know there’s a pattern for these things…” you think aloud “Left, turn, right, right, turn and…” you hold up the Rubik’s Cube that looked even more disorganized than before.

“Where is she?” you ask aloud as you throw the still-incomplete puzzle back into your desk. The grandfather clock read eleven AM. Getting up from your desk, you begin to pace around your office. Rarity didn’t strike you as the kind of pony who would just skip an appointment without giving some word in advance. Not only that, she genuinely acted like she wanted to get better. So why wouldn’t she show up? You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

“Okay, that’s it,” you declare as you storm out of your office.

Upon hearing the commotion, your secretary gets up from her desk and begins to follow you. “Excuse me, Sir? Where are you going?” she asks.

“Move all of my appointments, Ms. Careheart,” you say as you slip on your jacket, “I have to track down a certain white unicorn.” Before Ms. Careheart could say a word, you make your way into the streets of Ponyville and slip into the crowd.

Maybe she forgot to set her alarm clock and slept in… you reason to yourself. She had been complaining about sleepless nights.

“Hello Doctor.”

You do a 180 and find yourself face to face with Twilight. You must have walked by her without noticing. “Oh, hello Twilight. How are you?”

“Other than the fact that Spike burned all of my parchment by accident, I can’t complain. I was just heading to that paper store across from Ditzy Doo Deliveries,”

“Oh, well don’t let me keep you,” you say as you take a tentative step forward.

“Wait!” Twilight yells, startling you. Then, uneasily, she asks, “Uh… How… How’s Rarity doing?”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out. She missed her appointment and I was just about to go check out her shop. You haven’t seen her, have you?”

Twilight shakes her head, “No, I haven’t. Come on, let’s go see how she is.”

You hold up a hoof and stop her. “No, it’s probably nothing. Maybe she overslept, or had something come up. I was just going to drop by and say how she is. You can go do what you need to do.”

Twilight opens her mouth and looks as if she’s going to argue a point, but stops. “Just say hi to her for me, okay? And that her friends are there for her?”

You can’t help but smile a bit at Twilight’s words. You wonder if Rarity knows exactly how lucky she is to have such good friends. “Of course I will. And take care.”

You leave Twilight and continue on your way to the Carousel Boutique, thinking up other possibilities as to why Rarity didn’t show up to pass the time. However, they get more outlandish the closer you get to the Carousel Boutique, and by the time you reach ‘zombie attack’, you’re standing on her doorstep. The shades were drawn up and a sign in the window read “Closed”.

You rap your hoof against the door a few times. “Hello?” you call, “Anypony home?”

You wait a few moments for a response, but receive none. You knock again, louder this time, but still no answer. Hesitantly, you let yourself in. As you look around the room, you knew that something was off. Clothes of all kinds and colors were strewn about the place, as if a very fashionable tornado blew through here not too long ago.

“Rarity?” you call out. “Are you here?”

Finding no sign of her on anywhere on the show floor, you begin to head towards the exit until you notice a distinct trail of clothes heading upstairs. You follow the trail up the stairs and through open doors that lead to what you could only assume was Rarity’s bedroom. Despite all the clothes strewn about the room, it looked rather elegant and pleasing to the eye. Quite fitting of her tastes, you think to yourself.

“Rarity?”

This time when you call out, you hear a grumble from underneath the pile of clothes on the bed, followed by a light snore. Walking over to the side of the bed, you move some of the clothes away to find Rarity sleeping away. You can’t help but chuckle at the way she snored and how it sounded both cute and ladylike at the same time. Rarity’s eyes flicker open and she mutters something under her breath before rolling back into bed.

“Rarity...”

“Five more minutes, Jeeves...” she grumbles in her sleep “I need my beauty sleep...”

You reach out and shake her shoulder. “Rarity, wake up.”

Finally, she sits up and covers her mouth as she yawns deeply.

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” you ask.

Rarity stretches her forelegs above her head and yawns again. “Why yes I did, thank y-” she stops and midway looks at you quizzically. “What are you doing in my room?!?” she yells.

“I’m sorry! You didn’t show up and I just wanted to-”

“WANTED TO WHAT?” Rarity yells hysterically, making you jump back.

“I just wanted to see how you were.” you say, trying to calm her down.

She looks you over from head to toe, making you feel very uncomfortable. When she finishes scrutinizing you, she lets out a heavy sigh and hops down from her bed. “You could have knocked, you know.”

“I did. Twilight said she hadn’t seen you all day and I was going to leave and reschedule your appointment, but I-”

Rarity’s eyes bug out of her head when she hears the word ‘appointment’ and scrambles for her nightstand.

“Oh no! I overslept!” she cries as she holds up her alarm clock. “I’m so sorry! I was up until midnight because I couldn’t decide on a single dress to bring and I emptied out all of my drawers and I must have fallen asleep and my alarm clock didn’t go off and WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!”

You couldn’t help it. You didn’t notice it before, but a pair of black silk panties managed to get caught on her horn and when she talked, she moved her head around, causing them to whip back and forth. Rarity follows your gaze and looks up at her horn. “Oh dear Celestia, this is SO embarrassing!” she cries out as she dives into her bed, burying her face into her pillows.

You reach out and grab the panties with a hoof and feel your face become flushed as you handle them. “Hey, calm down. I’m sorry I laughed,” you say as you throw the panties over your shoulder “I came to check in on you because I was worried.”

Rarity brings her face up from the pillow and looks at you with deep, soulful eyes. “You were… worried? About me?”

You feel a lump form in your throat as Rarity stares at you. “Well... yeah,” you stutter as you take a seat next to her “Of course I was worried. Your friends are worried too. We all just want to see you get better.”

“Thank you.” she says with a smile. “I’m sorry I snapped at you like that. I have to remember that you’re here to help me...” Rarity’s smile disappears as she surveys the room. “Everything is such a mess...”

“Do you need any help?” you ask.

“Oh, I couldn’t ask you to do that! Besides, there are some… uh… delicate things that I’d rather not have you see…” Rarity says sheepishly.

You’re about to ask what she meant by ‘delicate things’, but then realize she was talking about the panties. “Of course, I understand. But still, I’d like to do something to help out… What about breakfast? You haven’t eaten yet. I could cook for you.”

“Well… I guess it couldn’t hurt.” Rarity says thoughtfully. “Afterwards, can we go to your office and make up that appointment?”

“Sure, that-” you stop yourself and feel yourself grin ear to ear. “I got a better idea. Let’s do the therapy here! We’ll be in an environment you’re comfortable with.”

Rarity claps her hooves together. “Lovely idea! Now that we have a plan of attack, let’s get started!” she declares as she sets to work. You leave Rarity to her work and explore the Carousel Boutique. After a bit of wandering around, you find the kitchen down the hall from Rarity’s room. The kitchen was relatively simple; a refrigerator, pantry, oven, sink, a table, and two chairs. Oddly enough, it didn’t share the same elegance and high quality as the rest of the house. You check the refrigerator for what you have to work with and can’t help but sigh as you remember what Rarity said in her admission form.

…and eat the same breakfast every morning before I can even start my day.

The refrigerator contained at least ten of those ‘Instant Biscuit Roll’ tins you find at the store. All you had to do was pull a string and they would pop open, revealing six doughy balls that only needed to be baked. Other than that, there was all the stuff you would expect to find in a fridge. Fruits, vegetables, milk, butter, eggs, et cetera. Moving to the pantry, you continue your search.

“Apple chips, popcorn, fruit preserves, jam… Hmm…”

You reach into a shelf that contained a variety of spices and pull out a few bottles. “Cinnamon and brown sugar.” you say aloud.

What does that remind me of? Cinnamon…Brown sugar…Biscuits…

You gasp aloud as you finally realize what to make for breakfast and set to work. “She is going to love this!”

* * * * * * * * * * *

“…Monkey bread?” Rarity asks again, still uncertain about the name.

“Yeah, that’s its name.” you say as you point to the dish in front of you. It looked like a large, light brown wheel with a slight sheen to it.

“What is it?” she asked as she poked it a few times.

“It’s good, that’s what it is.” you say as you fish a knife out of the utensil drawer. You cut out a small piece of the monkey bread and put it on a plate in front of Rarity, who starts scrutinizing every inch of it.

“It’s just cut up biscuits, melted brown sugar and butter, and cinnamon sugar,” you explain. “My roommate in college showed me how to make it.”

You cut yourself a piece and take a big bite from it. “Come on. Eat up. It won’t bite."

Rarity closes her eyes and gingerly reaches out, taking a small bite from it. “Mmm! This is excellent!”

“Now isn’t this better than biscuits and jam?”

Rarity gives you an odd look and swallows a mouthful of monkey bread. “How did you know that’s what I usually have for breakfast?” she asks quizzically.

“The score of biscuit rolls and jam you have on stock. I used to do the same thing while working through college. Cheap and easy breakfast.” you say with a smile. The smile disappears as you recall the financial hardships that forced you into that situation. “And lunch… and dinner…”

Rarity finishes her breakfast and walks over to the sink. “Where did you go to college, if you don’t mind me asking?” she asks as she washes her plate.

“Canterlot Medical School,” you say through a mouthful of monkey bread.

She looks at you, stunned. “I’ve never heard of an earth pony going to a Canterlot school before.”

“I get that a lot,” you say with a chuckle, “My roommate was the only one who wasn’t surprised. He actually encouraged me, saying that the mind needs a doctor as much as the body.”

“And what about this roommate you keep mentioning?” Rarity asks as she puts away the now clean plate. “What was his name?”

“Oh, but you already know him,” you say as you grab another piece of monkey bread, “He’s engaged to your friend, Dash.”

“Oh wow, HE was your roommate? What was he like in college?” she asks excitedly, apparently looking from some gossip.

“He was hard working, that’s for sure. He always said he had this weird kind of luck that ran his family, though. Something bad would happen to him and then something good would happen to balance it all out.”

“It makes sense now. Did you hear how he proposed to Dash?” she asks with a giggle. “He took her out to a romantic picnic by the lake and hid the diamond engagement earring in her glass of champagne.”

“It does sound pretty romantic.” you say as you finish up your plate.

“It was supposed to be romantic.” Rarity says as she tries to keep a straight face. “Rainbow Dash was supposed to find it in the bottom of the glass, but she drank the whole thing in one gulp and swallowed it whole!” she says before breaking out in a high pitched laughter.

You try to stifle a laugh, but you can’t help it. “Oh my goddess, what happened?”

Rarity was trying to regain her composure, but it proved too difficult. “He rushed Rainbow Dash to the hospital and told her she swallowed her wedding gift. At first she was so happy and couldn’t stop saying ‘ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh’, but she changed her tune when he told her she needed to take a laxative to get it back.”

You couldn’t hold it anymore and break down with laughter. It was that kind of laughter that left your sides sore and your eyes full of tears. “Oh wow... That definitely sounds like his luck. That’s funnier than the time he got that toilet seat stuck around his neck at the graduation party...” you say with wheeze. “What happened next?”

“Once the earring... uh... passed...” she said with a grimace, “He cleaned it up, thankfully, and proposed right there on the spot. In the end, after all of the trouble they had, they finally got their happy ending!” she says dreamily. “Their wedding is in three weeks from now.”

“I take it Ponyville still does public weddings?” you say, finally bringing yourself down from your laughing fit.

“Yes, it’s remained the tradition,” Rarity says as she levitates two cans of fruit punch out of the refrigerator. “Pinkie Pie and her boyfriend are the ones doing all the planning. You should see those two, chasing each other around giggling as they make the foodstuffs and decorations...” Rarity lets out a deep sigh and looks down at the floor. “One by one, my friends are finding the loves of their lives... I know I should feel happy for them, but I can’t help but feel jealous, too.”

“Why do you think you feel jealous?” you ask.

“It’s because of the fiasco at the Grand Galloping Gala!” she exclaims. “I was supposed to meet my Prince and fall madly in love with him and get married, but he turned out to be a huge, narcissistic jerk!” Rarity was now yelling at the top of her lungs. “HE EVEN USED ME AS SHIELD, JUST SO HE WOULDN’T GET DIRTY! JUST THINKING OF HIM MAKES ME SO MAD!”

You remain quiet and let Rarity continue her rant. When she finally stops and calms down, you speak up.

“Do you feel better?” you ask.

Rarity nods once, now seeming embarrassed that she managed to get that angry.

“Your anxiety problems... Did they become more frequent after the Grand Galloping Gala?”

Rarity thinks for a moment and then nods thoughtfully. “Why, yes, they did, actually.”

“Do you think it’s possible your anxiety might have something to do with not finding your ‘Perfect Prince’? It may not be the cause of it completely, but do you think it could have played a part?”

She sighs and slumps down into her chair in an undignified fashion. “It definitely didn’t help... I thought we’d fall in love and live happily ever after... But life is never like a fairy tale...”

You see tears start to form in her eyes.

“Rarity, I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way you planned, but you need to move on. You’re feeling mad and hurt, and you have a right to. You’re a wonderful pony who deserves so much more than a jerk that would use you as a shield.” Your words seem to uplift Rarity and bring her out of her slump. “You can’t let this get you down. You’ll find your true prince one day and have a bright and happy future. I’m sure of it.”

“That’s sweet of you to say,” she says with a sniffle “And you’re right. I have to stop pitying myself. I’m sure I’ll find a stallion out there who’s kind and loving...” Rarity inches a bit closer to you and stares into your eyes. “Caring...” you find yourself leaning in as well and less than a inch away from her face. “Handsome...” she says, breathlessly.

You snap out of your daze and get to your hooves. “So...” you clear your throat and motion towards the door. “Do you still want to do the therapy?”

“Oh, yes! Sure!” Rarity says, sounding a little frazzled.

“Okay, good. I’ll head downstairs, you grab some dresses.” you say.

“Oh no, not this again!” Rarity cries. “I STILL don’t know what to use!”

“Tell you what, just grab the first three dresses you find. Does that work?”

Rarity lets out a sigh of relief. “Okay, that I can do. But you still haven’t told me what they’re for.”

“Well, my dear, it’s quite simple,” you say with a smile “We’re going to change your view of perfection.”
You leave Rarity to ponder your words and make your way to show floor for a different kind of fashion show.

* * * * * * * * * * *

“Are you ready?” you call out.

“I still don’t see how this is supposed to help.” Rarity says from behind the screen.

“Do you trust me?” you ask.

“Well, yes, but-”

“Then come on out.”

Rarity poked her head out from behind the changing screen first and then finally walked out into the middle of the room. She wore a red satin dress that glittered ever so slightly in the light.

“What do you think?” Rarity asks as she does a quick pirouette.

“Wunderbar...” you say with a goofy smile. Rarity notices you staring and you snap yourself out of your daze. “Th-The dress I mean. It looks wonderful. Well, now... This dress. Would you label it as perfect?”

“Well of course it is!” she declares “I put a lot of work into this one and didn’t stop until it was très magnifique!”

“I’m sorry, Rarity, but this is going to be very tough for you.”

Rarity gives you an odd look. “What’s going to be tough?” she asks nervously.

“I’m going to have to ask you to rip that dress.”

Rarity gasps aloud at your request and backs up. “ARE YOU MAD?!?” she yells. “This dress is perfect in every sense of the word! I spent DAYS getting every stitch just right and didn’t sleep until it was done! I can’t just ‘rip it’!”

“And that’s your problem. Putting your heart and soul into your work is one thing, but you’re letting it consume your life.”

Rarity turns her back to you. “That’s a lie,” she says haughtily.

“Rarity, you just told me you didn’t sleep until it was ‘perfect’. I’d venture a guess that you didn’t eat either.” She didn’t say anything, but you knew you were right. “The very idea of damaging a dress is probably alien to you and akin to a sin. But you need to let go of your conquest for perfection if you’re to get any better.”

“But why does it have to be my dress?” she demands as she stomps her hoof down. “Why couldn’t we start with something smaller?”

You couldn’t help but smile at the question. “You haven’t realize it yet, have you? We’ve already done the small stuff. You slept in, haven’t combed your mane yet, and you had a different kind of breakfast this morning. And yet here you are, perfectly fine and functional.”

Her mouth goes agape as she finally realizes it. “You’re right... I know my mane’s a mess and I’m not nervous or ‘freaking out’ about it.” Rarity sighs heavily as she looks over her outfit. “Does it have to be a HUGE rip? I mean, can it be small and hardly noticeable?”

You walk over to Rarity and circle around her. “Hmm... I don’t know. Maybe a rip like...THIS.” In a flash, you grab a hold of the back of Rarity’s dress and pull it. She cries out at the sound of tearing fabric.

“HOW COULD YOU?” she screams.

“I did it to show you you’re completely fine! The world hasn’t ended, you didn’t get hurt, you’re FINE. The only thing that has changed is that you have a hole along your back that you have to fix.”

Rarity cranes her head and inspects the damage. “Oh no! It’s ruined! That’s no hole, it’s a gash! It’s hideous now!” The tear along Rarity’s back started at the base of her neck and went down to the middle of her back.

“Actually...” you say as you examine your handiwork, “I think it looks rather nice.”

“WHAT?” Rarity yells. “HOW COULD IT LOOK ‘NICE’?”

“I mean, if you were to just clean it up a bit and keep the back exposed like that it would look rather... Well...”

“What? How would it look like?” Rairty asks, now curious.

“Well, for lack of better word... sexy...” you say bashfully.

Rarity looks at the tear thoughtfully and a grin starts to form across her face. “I think you’re on to something. If I were to just fix up the edges a bit and widen it out just a tad it would be even better than before!”

“In truth, Rarity... There’s no such thing as perfection.” Rarity looks at you as if you had just told her the Tooth Fairy didn’t exist. “Perfect is just a word we give to something. It has no real meaning. What’s perfect to you can be imperfect to others.”

“I don’t understand,” she says with a puzzled look.

Sighing, you try to recall something you read a while back. “There are tribes of ponies who live in the heart of the jungle who use diamonds for ceremonial purposes. They believe that when somepony dies, their soul goes into the earth and becomes a diamond. So they unearth them and put them on display for the world to see, declaring 'This is the beauty of the soul!' When a band of explorers came across them, they tried to show them how to cut and polish diamonds, but they were driven away because the tribe believed it to be an affront to the spirits. They believe a diamond is perfect when it comes out of the ground. Does that make any sense?”

Rarity is quiet for some time, but then finally nods her head. “Yes, I think I see what you mean.”

“Good. Now we’re getting somewhere. So why don’t you change and this time, you can rip the dress.”

Rarity’s eye twitches visibly. “Oh sweet, merciful Celestia...”

By the end of the whole ordeal, Rarity was flustered and she had three dresses she wanted to mend. But she wasn’t mad, she was actually smiling. You and her walk out of the Carousel Boutique, Rarity thinking aloud about how to improve the dresses that were torn during your session.

“I can turn that satin dress into a haltertop, the formal gown into kimono wrap, and the column wedding dress into a miniskirt! This is great, for the first time in a week, I actually have the drive to work! Thank you so much, darling!” Rarity reaches out and hugs you tightly.

“It’s no trouble at all. I’m just happy to see you smile.”

“You’ve been so great, I don’t know how to repay you!” Rarity says as she lets you go. “Wait! I know! I’ll make you a new suit! Something refined and scholarly! That’s it!” Rarity plants a kiss on your cheek and runs back into the Carousel Boutique, but not before waving goodbye. “Ta ta, love!”

“Ta ta...” you mimic under your breath as you rub the cheek that Rarity kissed. The clock tower chimes and knocks you out of your trance.

“Oh no, my other appointment!”

Chapter 3

“I’m sorry I’m late!” you cry out as you burst through your office doors, “My other appointment carried over a bit.”

You circle around and take a seat at your desk. “Now, tell me what’s wrong,” you ask as you retrieve your glasses from the desk drawer.

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong!” Pinkie Pie screams “He doesn’t love me anymore!”

The earth pony sitting by Pinkie side tries to reach out to her, but she shrinks away.

“Pinkie, please! You’re being unreasonable!”

You let out a heavy sigh as you realize that you had just become a couple’s counselor for these two.

“Listen, I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Oh, he knows what he did!” Pinkie says with a snarl, making both of you jump back. You had never seen her like this before. Not only was her personality a complete polar opposite of her usual bubbly self, but her appearance was different as well. Her coat seemed to be a darker shade of pink than before and her mane was no longer bright and curly, but dull and flat.

The stallion with her—you assumed that he was the boyfriend Rarity had mentioned—was looking quite disheveled, like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

“Well, he may know, but I don’t,” you say as you look over the file. Nurse Careheart had simply put ‘lover’s quarrel’ under the reason for counseling. “Please, start from the beginning. What’s going on between you two?”

“He never wants to do anything with me anymore!” Pinkie exclaims as she throws her hooves into the air. “All he does is sleep all day and spend his nights making candy that he won’t even share with me!”

“Pinkie, I’ve had so many orders coming in and whenever I try to talk to you, you ignore me!”

“THAT’S BECAUSE—”

“QUIET!” Both Pinkie and her boyfriend stop yelling at each other and turn to you, startled.

“I am not going to be the referee to a screaming contest. This is what we’re going to do: Pinkie is going to talk and then you are. You’re both going to get a chance to speak and tell me your side of the story. Fair?” The two look to each other for a moment and then give you a nod.

Pinkie takes a deep breath and seems to calm down a bit. “I can understand that he needs time to fill out a few orders, but when he’s spending all day in the kitchen and all night working, I can’t help but feel unloved. When he finishes work, he runs off somewhere during the day and sleeps on the couch at night,” Pinkie says with a sniffle. “I just want things back when we first met…”

“And just how did you react to this lack of attention?”

“I got sad,” Pinkie says as she reaches for a tissue on your desk, “Then he stopped helping me plan Dashie’s wedding and I got mad.”

“Why did this make you mad?” you ask before jotting down a few notes.

“A wedding is a special time for a pony! It’s like the most important party of their life and he’s supposed to be there for me and he hasn’t!”

“And that’s pretty much the extent of what’s going on between you two?” you ask. Pinkie nods her head quickly.

“Now it’s your turn,” you say as you turn to Pinkie’s boyfriend, “why are a few orders stopping you from spending time with Pinkie Pie?”

The earth pony sighs and reaches for the saddlebag underneath his chair. “It isn’t a few orders; it’s a lot of orders. I’ve got my ledger right here.”

He flips open the book and begins paraphrasing a page.

“Thirty feet of licorice, five-hundred candy buttons, one hundred twenty-five sour balls, two-hundred candy necklaces and the list goes on! Ever since we published that book, I’ve had people ordering candy from all over Equestria and I can’t keep up with the demand unless I work all day.”

You nod thoughtfully as you begin to understand how such a workload could put a strain on the relationship. “What’s this about sleeping on the couch?”

The earth pony grimaces at the question and shifts uneasily in his chair. “Umm… Pinkie? I don’t know how to tell you this...”

“What? What’s wrong? What did I do?” Pinkie asks nervously

“No, no! You didn’t do anything wrong,” the earth pony says as he draws Pinkie closer to him, “it’s just that… You snore.”

Pinkie stops crying and looks dumbfounded. “I…Snore?”

“Yeah… I’m sorry, but you do. I can’t get any sleep so I move to the couch.”

You aren’t surprised by the fact that part of the problem was a misunderstanding. Pinkie thought that he didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as her, when really; it was just that he couldn’t sleep. You can’t even begin to count the times that you’ve had somepony come in with a problem and it turned out to be just a lack of communication.

“Doesn’t it feel better to get that kind of stuff out in the open? It helps to clear away any misunderstanding.”

“What do we do now, Doctor?” Pinkie asks as she wipes away her tears.

“Well, I think it would be smart to pay a visit to your local doctor and see what he can do for you about the snoring. As for your conflict, I suggest a compromise.”

“Compromise?” Pinkie asks curiously.

“Pinkie, I can see why you feel hurt and depressed, but from what it sounds like, you were being pretty passive-aggressive about this whole ordeal instead of trying to resolve these feelings. Instead of avoiding the problem and taking it out on him, confront him next time and just sit down with him. I’m sure he’d understand.”

Pinkie looks away bashfully as she begins to realize how she’s been acting. Pinkie’s boyfriend nods in agreement before you start in on him.

“And come on! You’re going to have to choose between work and your mare. If spending more time with Pinkie means turning down orders, then so be it.”

The earth pony begins to panic at your words. “I can’t! Not yet anyway! I’m so close to paying it off and-”

He puts his hooves over his mouth and looks to Pinkie nervously.

“What are you trying to pay off?” you ask curiously.

His voice begins to crack. “Nothing. Nothing at all,”

“What are you trying to buy?!?” Pinkie yells as she gets to her hooves, “You moving somewhere with somepony else and leaving me?!?”

He begins to visibly panic at the questions and glances towards the exit. But before he can bolt, you reach out and put a hoof on his shoulder. “There’s no reason to be afraid. Just tell us what’s going on.”

He looks to you and then to Pinkie before sighing heavily, defeated. “I didn’t want you to find out…” the earth pony said sheepishly, “…it’s a diamond engagement necklace.”

Pinkie’s eyes grow wide and her lower lip begins to quiver. “I-I’m sure whoever you ask to m-m-marry you w-will l-l-love you ve-very much…”

The earth pony gets out of his chair and kneels down on his back legs in front of Pinkie. He reaches out and cups Pinkie’s front hoof in his forehooves. “I love her with all of my heart and I know she loves me back. You looked so happy when you found out Dash was getting married and it made me think that I should finally ask you…”

The earth pony reaches underneath his chair again and pulls out a black box that’s about a foot long.

“Pinkamina Diane Pie, will you marry me?” He opens up the box to reveal a golden necklace with a large, pink-tinted diamond in the center.

Pinkie stares breathlessly at the necklace. “You… You were doing this… For me?” she asks. The earth pony simply nods once.

In an odd display, Pinkie’s coat somehow regains its once bright color and her mane curls back up with a sound you could only equate to a noisemaker you’d find at one of her parties.

“YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES! I LOVE YOU!” Pinkie screams as she tackles her surprised fiancé. You take off your glasses and rub the tears out of your eyes. This was the reason why you look forward to your job every morning; the chance to actually help improve somepony’s life.

“I’m so happy for you two. I’m glad everything’s working out for the best.”

Pinkie lets go of her soon to be husband and grabs a hold of your hoof. “Thank you SO much Doctor!” she yells as she shakes your hoof up and down vigorously.

“Please, I didn’t do anything.”

It’s been feeling like that a lot, lately, you think to yourself, First Rarity, now Pinkie. Everypony is learning to overcome their problems with little or no help. If this keeps up, I’m going to be out of a job, you think with a chuckle.

“Oh don’t be silly, Doc! We would have still been fighting if you didn’t set us straight!” Pinkie says ecstatically as she makes her way for the door.

“Yeah, I would have been still hiding the surprise, when I should have just asked her in the first place.”

Pinkie pivots on her hooves and faces you with a large smile. “Oh! I know! There are so many couples in Ponyville who aren’t as super happy as we are now and they could really use your help! I’ll let them all know how great and helpful you are!”

And with that, Pinkie bounds out the door to your office with her fiancé in tow, leaving you very confused. “Wait… What?”

* * * * * * * * * *

“Alright… Because my secretary had to leave early, I have to get the information I need directly from you. Let’s start out simple. What are your names?”

The light green pegasus adjusted the bandages around his head, most of which covered his charcoal mane. “Coffeebean,” he said rather unenthusiastically.

“…And I’m Paintbrush,” the red unicorn said meekly.

You understand now what Pinkie meant when she said there were other couples who needed help. She left your office at one o’clock PM and by one-thirty, you had a line of people coming to see you, each wanting ‘Couple’s Counseling’. It didn’t help that your secretary left early because of family matters.

“What do you two do for a living?”

“Well, I’m a pharmacist,” Coffeebean said as he fiddled with his bandages again.

Paintbrush hid her face behind her ginger mane, “And I’m a nurse.”

“And why are you here today?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Coffeebean said curtly.

“I said I’m sorry!” Paintbrush cried, “Why are you still mad?”

“I’m not mad!”

“I didn’t mean to make you slip, I was just trying to have fun, I swear!”

“Paint, I know it was an accident! You’d never hurt me on purpose!”

“Then why are you mad at me?”

“I’M NOT MAD!”

“BUT YOU’RE YELLING!”

You rub the sides of your head as the two begin to try to shout over each other.

This is going to be a long day…

* * * * * * * * * *

Glancing up at the clock, you can’t help but wonder where the day had gone.

“Eight PM…” you say aloud as you lay your head on your desk. You had to have met with over three dozen couples and it took a lot out of you. You close your eyes and try to relax, but all of the problems and screaming of the day still filled your mind.

Where do you go every night?

Why does your mother have to stay with us?

You don’t talk to me anymore!

I saw you looking at that other stallion!

WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE?!?

JUST TALK TO ME!

“Doctor?”

Your eyes snap open at the familiar voice. You can’t help but let out a sigh of relief. “Twilight, it’s great to hear somepony without pr—”

You find yourself staring at not just Twilight, but also a blond haired, orange mare, who looked quite nervous to be here. You groan aloud as you realize your job was far from done today.

“All right!” you yell aloud as you clap your hooves together “One more session won’t hurt! Lay it on me! I’ve heard everything today. What’s wrong? She doesn’t talk to you anymore? She doesn’t like to sleep in the same bed as you? She doesn’t kiss like she did on that first date?”

Both Twilight and the orange mare stare at you wide eyed.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Twilight yells aloud, “We are NOT a couple. I had to drag Applejack here just to see you. She’s pushing herself way too hard again.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” you say, feeling very embarrassed at the moment “I’ve seen so many couples today and I just assumed…”

“I am not a filly-fooler…” Applejack says under her breath. “And Twi’s wrong! I’m just… tired… is all.”

“Applejack, you’re tired because you were up all night bucking apples so you wouldn’t have to ask us for help” Twilight says worriedly.

“Okay, help me understand what’s going on here,” you say, still not following the situation “She’s pushing herself trying to harvest her apples, she’s not asking you for help, and to top it all off, she’s done this before?”

Twilight gives you a nod.

You take off your glasses and rub the sleep from your eyes. “Twilight, could you please wait in the other room?”

Twilight leaves you without a word and closes the door behind her. Applejack takes this as a cue to sit down in the chair across from your desk.

“Listen, can we just get down to brass tacks?” you ask with heavy sigh. “I’m exhausted, I haven’t eaten lunch OR dinner, and I’m tired of seeing patients come in and tiptoe around their problems, so PLEASE. Just tell me how you’re feeling.”

“I…I don’t know anymore,” Applejack says meekly. “I get out to the field an’ all I can do is just stare at all the work I have to do. I KNOW hafta to get ta work, but I just…”

“Freeze up?” you finish for her. Applejacks eyes light up.

“Yeah, freeze up,” she says with a nod.

Classic ‘whoa’ response as defined by Doctor Lillas…

“Okay. Now tell me, why are you doing this to yourself? It seems like you have many friends who are willing to help you.”

“But that’s the problem, doc,” Applejack replies sharply, “Everypony else has got enough on their plate already and I don’t want to add to it.”

Applejack slumps down in her chair and lets out a ragged sigh, “Rainbow’s gettin’ married, Pinkie and her boyfriend are plannin’ the party, Shy’s spending all her time with that writer feller, Twi’s got her hooves full with that weirdo and Rarity is… well… You see why I’m doing all this now?”

You nod as you begin to understand. With everything going on, she didn’t want to impose on her friends. “How much more applebucking do you have to do?” you ask.

“If I can find a couple sets of hooves to help? One, maybe two more acres.”

“Well then, if I were you, I’d ask if they could help out for a few hours or so just to take some of the work off of you. Once you’ve finished up, why don’t you go on vacation? Maybe you should go somewhere tropical. You know, grass skirts, hula dancing, and sandy beaches?”

“I can’t ‘ford no fancy vacation! And why would I go anyway? It’s so much cozier here in Ponyville.”

“Applejack, a vacation could do you some good. You know, just get away for a few weeks and enjoy yourself. You’d be surprised how much fun you’d have.”

Applejack shakes her head. “I don’t know… Even if I did, I still can’t pay fer it…”

“Listen, you seem pretty stressed out right now. You haven’t been able to stop tapping your hoof and you keep glancing out the window.” As soon as you bring it up, Applejack stops her hoof and looks you in the eye. “You want to go out there and try to get back to work, don’t you?”

Applejack remains quiet and looks back out the window, but you knew you were right.

“Even though you’re freezing up, you still want to get to work. You can stay in Ponyville and try to relax, sure, but you seem like the pony who would still try to get work done. You just need to get away from it all so you can relax. Stress isn’t good for you, mentally or physically.”

Your thoughts drift back to the money issue and how to fix that, but you can’t figure out a way past that over your rumbling stomach. That is, until your stomach gives you an idea.

“You know, Applejack, I read somewhere that apples can be quite good for you. Controls blood pressure, helps with digestion, and can even make you happier in the long run. I’d like to buy some apples from you.”

Applejack perks up at the word ‘buy’. “Oh sure! How much?”

“How many will 100 bits get me? That’s usually what I pay for groceries per month.”

Applejack’s jaw drops. “A lot! I mean, like a whole lot! And with that, I could buy a ticket for… a… vacation…”

You touch the tip of your nose with your hoof and smile. Applejack understood what you meant; ‘you got it’.

“Thank ya kindly Doc! I’ll get those apples to ya quicker than a jackrabbit on a bed a coals! Thanks again!” she yells as she gallops out of your office. As soon as Applejack leaves, Twilight comes in and sits down in front of you.

“Anything you want to talk about?” you ask with a chuckle.

Twilight looks around nervously for a second. “Uhh… What are your thoughts on clover?” she asks above a whisper.

You raise an eyebrow at the question. “Clover? Well, I’ll admit, I did smoke some while in college. I really don’t see what the big fuss is about it. It’s not dangerous. All I did was laugh for a while and get really hungry.”

Twilight looks at you, surprised, “So you don’t think there’s anything wrong with it?”

“Not at all. It’s a naturally occurring plant and can be a useful medicine, in certain cases… Why do you ask?”

Twilight gets up from the chair and makes her way for the door. “No reason! I was just curious!”

And with that, Twilight leaves you before you can get another word in.

With the day looking done, you poke your head out of your office and take a final look around. “No pony in sight,” you say happily.

With the day truly done, you head out of your office and grab your coat before rushing out the door to finally get home. As you throw the door open, you find Rarity standing on the doorstep, her hoof raised as if she was about to knock.

“Oh! Doctor! Just the pony I was looking for!” she says with a smile. You venture a guess that she had been working on modifying those dresses today; she was wearing the red satin dress that you helped turn into a halter top. It went well with the mascara and blush she was wearing.

Your sense of urgency to get home diminishes. “What brings you by here at this hour?”

“Well… I wanted to talk to you earlier, but it looked like you had your hooves full. I was wondering if you wanted to get together for dinner?”

“It’s getting kind of late, isn’t it?” you ask as you gesture to the now rising moon.

“Oh… I guess you’re right…” Rarity says, sounding rather hurt. “I’ll just leave you, then. Good night.”

As Rarity turns away to make her way home, you can’t help but feel a bit guilty for turning her down. In the spur of the moment, you stop her.

“I was planning on a quiet dinner at home, but you’re more than welcome to join me.”

Rarity perks up and spins around quickly. “Really? You’re sure I won’t be a bother?”

“Not if you lend a hoof… and it’s actually pretty nice to have you around.”

A part of you regrets saying those words. What are you saying? She’s your patient! You can’t get involved with her!

But the other part of you didn’t hear this nay-say. It was too happy having this unicorn walking by your side.

* * * * * * * * * *

“So this is where you live?” Rarity asked as she wandered around your living room.

“Last time I checked, yes,” you say jokingly “What do you think?”

“Honestly, I’m not surprised by the Victorian-style housing and furnishings. Fits you to a T. I assume there’s a library around?”

Who’s analyzing who? you think with a chuckle.

“It’s down the hall and to the right. Make yourself at home while I see what we have to work with.”

You leave Rarity and make your way to your kitchen and begin to scour the refrigerator for something remotely edible. It turns out you have just enough ingredients to make a vegetable soup.

“Hey Rarity!” you call out, “How does soup sound? Not too bland, I hope?”

“Oh, not at all, darling!”

There was that name again. ‘Darling.’ She called you that earlier today before she kissed you. You couldn’t explain why, but hearing her call you that felt nice.

“Alright, I’ll chop up the vegetables and you add the seasoning. Shouldn’t take that long to cook. Easy.”

True, it didn’t take that long to prepare the soup, but it was taking much longer to actually cook it. An hour had already passed and it still wasn’t done. You and Rarity take advantage of this time and make some tea and pass the time with idle conversation, but you still couldn’t help but feel awkward about the whole situation.

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t think this through enough,” you say with a nervous chuckle.

“It’s no problem at all, darling. I’m actually quite enjoying our time together.”

That name again. It made a lump form in your throat, so you simply nodded dumbly.

Get a hold of yourself! There’s no way she’d be interested you, and besides, she’s your patient!

Before the awkward silence could set in, Rarity speaks up.

“What do you think of my dress?”

“I think it looks quite s—” you stop yourself from saying the word. “Er... lovely,” you say before throwing your head back and gulping down the last of your tea. Closing your eyes, you try to clear your mind.

Get those thoughts out of your head. You can’t—

You jump slightly as you feel a weight press down on your lap.

“Say it.”

Your heart begins to race when you look down to find Rarity sitting on your lap and looking at you with a lustful grin.

“S-Say what?”

“Oh, you know what I want you to say,” Rarity says with a girlish giggle “you said it earlier today.”

That lump that has been forming in your throat lately made another appearance. When you wouldn’t say it, Rarity pulls herself up and puts her mouth up to your ear and whispers dreamily into your ear.

“Sexy...”

In one smooth movement, Rarity plants her lips onto yours and begins to kiss you roughly and greedily. The sensation is twofold; pleasurable and shocking.

You try to pull back from the kiss, but that only seems to encourage her. For a few times, you get lost in the passion and only refocus when you feel Rarity’s tongue begin to probe your mouth.

Finally, you manage to break away from the embrace and confront her.

“Rarity! What EXACTLY are you doing?!?”

“Well, I’m ravishing you at the moment,” she says with a playful giggle “and then I was hoping we could move onto some foreplay before we got into the main event.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you realize what Rarity had in plan for you.

“Wait, wait, wait!” you cry out. As much as you wanted to continue, you knew it was wrong. “Rarity, why are doing this?”

“Because you’re the only thing that’s made sense to me up until now! When you left, I got so nervous and anxious and all I wanted to do was find and hold you! You’re handsome and generous and nice and caring and... and...” Rarity’s eyes begin to well up with tears “You make me feel right!”

You move Rarity back and guide her off of you and into the other chair.

“Please,” she says above a whisper “Please tell me you love me like I love you.”

Your heart begins to twist into knots.

“Rarity, I’m sorry, but I can’t. You’re not yourself right now.”

Tears begin to streak down Rarity’s face. “Please,” she says it louder this time.

“You’re my patient. And while you’re still my patient, I have to put your well being ahead of everything else.”

She yells it this time: “PLEASE!”

“I CAN’T!” you yell back, “How do I know these feelings are truly yours? How do you know? You admit you haven’t been feeling yourself lately and I don’t want to take advantage of you while you’re feeling like this!”

Your outburst causes Rarity to hang her head and go very quiet. Your stomach sinks into your hooves when you realize that she’s crying. You take a few tentative steps closer to her and move part of her mane away.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to risk making you any worse.”

She remains quiet and continues sobbing. You go quiet as well, at a loss for what to do.

Your eyes brighten up and you begin to smile. Putting a hoof under Rarity’s chin, you guide her eyes to look into yours.

“Make me a promise.”

“W-w-what kind of promise?” she asked with a sniffle.

“Let me help you get better. Let me help you sort out all of these feelings and problems you’ve been having. And when everything is said and done and if you still feel this way about me, I’ll take you out on the town and give you a night you’ll never forget.”

“R-Really?” Rarity asked as she wiped away her tears, and smearing her mascara in the process.

“I promise. Do you?”

A small smile creeps across Rarity’s face. “I’m going to hold you to that promise, darling.”

Rarity gets to her hooves and regains her composure quickly as she begins to clean the running mascara off of her face with a handkerchief. “I’m sorry for my outburst, darling. I have no idea what came over me... And I’m also sorry I can’t stay for dinner. I’ve...lost my appetite.”

You giver her a nod and begin to show her to the door, but she stops.

“I’m sorry for putting you in such a difficult spot. I know you only want what’s best. I’ll see you next Monday?”

“I look forward to seeing you there.”

Just as Rarity makes her way out the door, she turns around.

“Could I... trouble you for a goodnight kiss?” she asks sheepishly.

Rarity looks like she expects you to say no, but instead you lean in and plant a kiss on her cheek.

She looks slightly disappointed, but you can make out a faint blush.

“Tease.”

“Goodnight, Rarity.”

“Goodnight.”

Chapter 4

[I’d like to thank LeOdd for doing the translation work for this part]

[Spoiler: The scene involving Green Paddock and the song he sings about Berry Punch was originally a Flogging Molly song rewritten by Coffeebean in his fic “Drunken Lullabies”. We did a collab of sorts and borrowed parts from each other]

“It’s okay Rarity; it’s not going to hurt you.”

Despite your reassurance, she was still skittish about the whole thing.

“Do I have to, darling? I mean, a lot of people don’t like to get dirty. It’s not like it’s a problem…”

“You jumped around to avoid mud puddles all the way here and screamed when I almost splashed you. Are you sure it’s not a problem?”

Things hadn’t been going so well with Rarity’s therapy sessions as of lately. Her first few sessions went well and it looked like she’d been done in a few weeks. But now, she was having difficulties and it seemed like it would take months. The short and sudden rainstorm gave you the idea to help Rarity get over her fear of getting dirty, but that seemed easier said than done.

“Just put a hoof into the mud and try it out.”

Rarity inched slowly towards the edge of the puddle and hung a hoof over the edge. She looked quite worried. “Okay, okay… You can do this, Rarity. Just think of it as mud bath at the spa.”

Her hoof finally touches the mud puddle, making her visibly shiver in disgust. “Oh dear lord… It’s crunchy. Why is it crunchy?!?”

“Maybe some loose gravel? A bug?” you say with a shrug “Come on, now the next one.”

Her voice begins to cracks “I don’t know if I can do this…”

“You can do it. The only thing stopping you is yourself.”

Rarity inches her other hoof towards the puddle, but stops halfway. “I can’t do this!” she cries as she pulls her other hoof out and shakes it violently.

You curse under your breath “Verdammt… And so close, too.”

The cognitive therapy wasn’t working and the behavioral therapy was getting you nowhere.

I don’t understand it. She was doing so well. What’s changed? you wonder.

“I’m so sorry for wasting your time, darling. As much as I want to get better, I just can’t bring myself to do it.”

That’s when it clicked.

“Risk versus reward…” you think aloud.

“Might I ask what are you talking about?” Rarity asked confusedly.

“I think I might have a way to help you, although, it’s pretty unconventional. Just follow me on this: Say you want a child to do their homework. How do you motivate them?”

“Well…” Rarity put a hoof to her chin “Ms. Cheerilee gives Sweetie Belle gets gold stars for turning in her homew-wait a minute… Are you comparing me to a child?!?”

You put a hoof up defensively “No! Well… Sort of,”

Rarity glares silently at you, not too keen on the comparison.

“What I’m trying to say is that you need some sort of motivation; a ‘gold star’, if you will. You want to get better, but that’s not enough to make you go against years of compulsive behavior.”

She nods thoughtfully as she begins to understand what you were trying to say..

“So, what’s going to be my reward? Do I get a gold star on my report card?” Rarity asks sarcastically.

You admit you hadn’t thought this far. “Is there anything specific you want?”

A small grin starts to form on Rarity’s face. “Does a… date sound fair? I mean, nothing serious, just two adults enjoying a night together?”

At first, you’re against the idea, but you realize there was no harm in having dinner with a patient, as long as it didn’t turn into anything more.

“If that’s what you really want, I see no problem with it.”

Rarity’s eyes light up.

“Now, if you can get into the puddle without-”

Before you could finish, Rarity hops into the mud puddle, covering her hooves and splattering her coat. She begins to grimace and you half expect her to scream at any moment, but she instead takes a deep breath and somehow manages to smile.

“There. Not so bad.”

You were quite shocked at this display. It was a complete 180 from how she was acting just a few minutes ago.

“Are you sure Rarity? I don’t want you pushing yourself. On a scale of one to ten, what would you rate your anxiety level?”

“Four, five at the most. Honestly, it’s not that bad… I just really want to get cleaned off,” she says as she shakes some mud off of her hoof.

“Okay. As I was going to say, I don’t want you doing anything that you’re not comfortable with, okay?”

“Of course, darling. Now… About that date?” she asked with a mischievous grin.

You hold up a hoof. “Not so fast. Now tell me, you were so scared of this puddle just a few seconds ago and now you’re standing in it. Why did you let it get the best of you?”

Rarity blinks a few times. “I… I don’t know. It seems sort of silly now, doesn’t it?”

“Now that’s the attitude I want to see. You are in control of your compulsions, not the other way around. What’s your stress level now?”

“Two. I can’t believe I let something as simple as a puddle stand in my way!”

“That’s great, Rarity. That’s one more thing you don’t have to be afraid of.”

Rarity smiles and stands a little taller, proud of achievement.

“So, do you think you’re ready for the mud wrestling competition I signed you up for?”

Rarity’s eyes nearly bug out of her skull at the question. “You’re kidding, right? I don’t have to mud wrestle as part of my therapy, right?” she asks nervously.

You try to keep a straight face, but you can’t hold. You begin to laugh, making Rarity gasp aloud.

“Oh, that was mean!” she says snidely.

“Oh come now, you should know me better than that. I’d never sign you up for a mud wrestling competition.”

Rarity lets out a sigh of relief.

“Well, without asking you first,” you say with tease.

“Ha. Ha. Very funny,” she says sarcastically “let’s get back inside so I can clean up.”

You follow Rarity back inside the Carousel Boutique, making sure to wipe your feet off at her request.

“I’ll be just a minute. I need to rinse off,” Rarity takes a glance at her dirty coat and frowns “…and maybe a shampoo as well… Just make yourself comfortable, okay?”

Rarity disappears upstairs and the sound of running water soon follows.

You look around the Carousel Boutique show floor for something to keep you occupied. Wandering over to one of the counters, you find a pile of magazines and idly flip open one entitled ‘Ventasso’s Secret’. You feel a warm flush creep up your face as you find yourself staring at all sorts of mares who were dressed in exotic lingerie and splayed out in suggestive positions. You close the magazine and try to find another to keep your interest.

Well, it sort of makes sense for somepony who makes clothes to have these sort of thi-

You feel your entire face go bright red. Was not expecting this... You think as you pull out a riding crop. You set it back down and feel around, only to suddenly trigger something that made the entire drawer vibrate.

"What did I do? What did I do?"

You feel around and hear an audible click, signaling the end of the vibrations. Your entire face turned bright red once you figured out just what you triggered. The sound of Rarity coming down the stairs causes you to panic and almost slam the drawer. You walk forwards and try to act as casual as possible.

“Ahhh, that was nice.”

You shift around uneasily and try to stop yourself from staring. Rarity’s coat was still dripping wet and she didn’t care to grab a bath robe.

“F-Feel better?”

“Much so. Now that I’m all cleaned up, what about that date? What would you like to do?”

“Well… I planned on going to The Gilded Lilly tonight,” you say as you collect yourself “Have you ever been there?”

“Isn’t it that little restaurant on the other side of Ponyville?”

You chuckle a bit under your breath. “Well, restaurant isn’t exactly the word I would use… Just be ready tonight. I’ll pick you up around six.”

Rarity begins to grin from ear to ear and claps her hooves together.

“Oh darling, I’m so excited! It’s my first proper date in a long time! Is there anything specific I should wear?” she asks excitedly smile

"Fräulein Rarity, deine Schönheit ist alles was es braucht, um diese Nacht perfekt zu machen."

[Translation: “Miss Rarity, your shining beauty is all that is needed to make the night perfect.”]

You gasp inaudibly as the words leave your mouth. Oh dear Celestia, why did I say that out loud? Can she speak Mecklesh? Please don’t let her be as clever as she is cute…

“Doctor, I didn’t know you could speak Mecklesh.”

Oh this is bad.

“What exactly did you say?”

You let out a sigh of relief and manage a sheepish smile “W-well, I said you should wear something casual. It’s not a fancy place, really.”

“Alright then, I think I have something in mind. I just have to make some alterations to the dress”

“I’ll see you tonight, then. If you need me, you know where I am,” you say as you make your way out of the Carousel Boutique. You can’t help but smile as you hear her sewing machine start up and stop as you reach the doorway.

“Rarity, I want you to know I’m very proud of you.”

She looks up from her sewing machine and drops the pins she held in her mouth. “Y...You’re proud of me? For what?”

Instead of answering her, you make your way out of the Carousel Boutique, leaving Rarity to her work and to ponder your words.

* * * * * * *

Surprisingly, today wasn’t as busy as you thought it would be. Ever since Pinkie Pie told the town you were also a couple’s counselor, you had been up to your neck in ponies needing your help. But now things have slowed down and given you some free time. Leaning back in your chair, you prop your hooves up on your desk and make yourself comfortable.

I may even be able to knock off early you think with a content sigh. A loud knock startles you just as you begin to doze off. Acting quickly, you sit upright in your chair and grab the newspaper on your desk.

“Come in,” you say idly as you pretend to read the newspaper. You look up as you hear the door open and begin to smile when you see your old roommate walk through the door. Your elation doesn’t last long as you watch Rainbow Dash follow him into your office, hanging her head low to the ground.

The white unicorn sighs heavily and takes a seat in front of you next to Dash. “Fritz, I need your help.”

“Dear Celestia, Bones! What’s going on?”

“I’m fine.” Dash says crossly.

“No, she isn’t. She’s depressed.”

“I am not depressed!”

“Dash, you haven’t been out of the house in days. ”

Rainbow Dash opens her mouth to say something, but you stop them from going any further.

“Okay, this is getting ridiculous,” you say as you bring a hoof up to your brow “I’ve had to wrestle the information out of every pony who’s been in here for counseling. Bones, as your friend, just be honest with me and tell me why such a loving couple like you two are in here.”

He sighs heavily and looks to Dash. The look told you all you needed to know. He was worried. “Dashie, why don’t you tell him?”

Rainbow Dash starts to shift around uncomfortably in her seat. “I...I don’t know. It’s embarrassing.”

“Rainbow, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about while you’re in my office,” you say with a comforting smile “Now just tell me the goddess honest truth; why are you here?”

Dash begins to stutter as her eyes well up with tears “I...I... I just can’t take it anymore! This whole wedding thing is way too much for me! Please don’t be mad!”

“Please Dashie, don’t cry. I’m not mad. I’m just worried. What’s happening?” he asks.

“I... I don’t know... I just want to be with you more. The girls keep dragging me away to get ready for the wedding and my parents aren’t too happy about me not marrying another pegasus and....”

“And you feel so overwhelmed that you just start to panic.”

Dash nods meekly.

“Yeah... I just...I just want things back to the way they were.”

“Dash, as overwhelmed you might feel, you need to buck up and get your head in the game. You’re not alone in this.”

She still doesn’t look convinced. “I...I dont-”

“Dash, you don’t have to be scared,” he says as he reaches out for Dash “I’ll always be there for you, no matter what. We’ll face each challenge together and overcome.”

Dash wipes away her eyes with her foreleg. “I feel like such a foal...”

“You’re not a foal, you’re a beautiful pegasus who’s going to marry the luckiest unicorn in Equestria,” he says as he nuzzles up to her “and every night, I’ll give you all the attention you need, I swear.”

You can’t help but chuckle as Dash’s face become bright red.

“Dash, as bad as things are right now, you have to remember you’re never alone. You have your friends and a wonderful husband right behind you. If you can’t find the time to be with him, then make it. If your parents aren’t happy with who you're marrying, then tough. You’re in love and if your parents can’t see that, then they’re blind.”

Dash gets to her hooves defiantly. “You’re right! I’ve been rolling over for everyone when this should be MY special time! And if my folks can’t be happy for me, then it sucks to be them!”

“Now THAT’s the fireball I asked to marry me! Fritz, I gotta say, you’re a miracle worker.”

“Come on, Bones. You know as well as I do it’s the patient that does all of the work. We just set the healing motion in process.”

Dash gives you two an odd look. “Hey... Why do you call each other those nicknames? I just noticed.”

“It goes back to college, Dash. I call him Bones because he wanted to be a surgeon.”

“And I called him Fritz because he’s from Mecklenberg.”

“Uhh... I guess that makes sense...” Dash says with a shrug.

“Well, if we’re done here, then I think I should take my leave. I’ve got to get ready.” you say as you grab your jacket from the coat rack.

“Ready? Ready for what, Fritz?”

“I’ve got a date,” you say as walk out of the office.

* * * * * * *

You stand outside of the Carousel Boutique, making sure you were ready. You were wearing a pair of dark brown trousers and a light brown jacket over your white t-shirt.

Clothes clean, mane combed back, contacts in, wallet... Yup, I’m ready.

You reach out and knock on the door.

“I’ll be right there~!” you hear Rarity call out.

You back up from the door and do a final once over to make sure you looked alright, but stop yourself half way. Why am I obsessing over how I look? It’s just dinner between two adults, nothing more.

You watch as the front door opens and you feel your jaw go agape as Rarity steps through the threshold.

"Guten Abend, mein Schatz. Wie seh ich aus?"

[Translation: “Good evening, my darling. How do I look?”]

Rarity was wearing a traditional Mecklenberg dirndl. You venture a guess that she was the one who made it and can’t help but be amazed by the amount of detail that went into it. The black and red colors of the dress accented each other quite well and you couldn’t help but stare at the intricate weaves of the bodice. She even braided her mane into two pig tails that made her look...

“Wunderbar...”

[Translation: “Wonderful...”]

“Are you going to stare all night or are we going?” Rarity asks with a tease.

You snap yourself out of your daze and try to act as if nothing had happened.

“So...Uh... Nice dress.” you say with a stammer.

“You think so? I figured you might like it, since you’re from Mecklenburg and all...”

You look at Rarity, quite surprised.

“How did you-”

“Your accent gave it away, darling. I’ve had orders for dirndls from Mecklenburg before and there’s always something to a true Mecklenite’s accent... It’s got this dominant tone to it. It’s quite appealing.”

“So, I take it that’s how you leaned Mecklen?”

Rarity nods. “Yes, but I can only understand a bit and speak a few different sentences. I really want to become as fluent as you, though. And I must say, your English is perfect.”

“Danke,” you say bashfully “I’ve had a lot of practice.”

[Translation: “Thank you,”]

“Do you think you can teach me one of these days? Maybe not a year’s worth of study, but like a crash course.”

You begin to chuckle under your breath. “Rarity, you’re about to get that crash course sooner than you think.”

“What do you mean?” she asks curiously.

* * * * * * *

“WELCOME TO THE PAINTED LILLY!” the overly excited mare declared “TABLE FOR TWO?”

“Could we get a booth, Hush-Hush? And maybe some Tomatenteigtaschen?”

[Translation: “...tomato dumplings?”]

“CAN DO!”

Hush-Hush leads you and Rarity through the crowd of people to a both in the back of the room. Rarity looks around the room, taking in all The Painted Lilly has to offer. “My, this is certainly different. It feels so rustic...”

“It’s a more traditional Mecklenburg style. I’ve been coming here for as long as I can remember.”

“How did you find this place?”

Hush-Hush walks over to your table and puts a bowl of dumplings that sat in a tomato sauce and sprinkled with cheese. “IT’S GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! I BET YOUR PARENTS ARE GOING TO BE JUST AS SURPRISED AS I AM!”

“Parents?” Rarity asks with a gleam in her eyes.

“OH HE DIDN’T TELL YOU? HIS PARENTS RUN THE GILDED LILLY! HIS MOMMA COOKS THE FOOD AND HIS DADDY BREWS THE BEER!” Hush-Hush looks to you and then Rarity and smiles. “YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON THEIR FACE WHEN I TOLD THEM YOU HAD A MARE-FRIEND!”

You feel yourself blush “Oh, this is bad,” you say under your breath.

On cue, you begin to hear the sound of galloping hooves. Looking up, you see two earth ponies, a mare and a stallion, barreling towards you with goofy grins on their faces. The mare had a deep brown coat, much like yours, a white mane and was wearing a stained apron. The stallion’s black mane almost obscured his deep blue eyes, both much like yours and balanced a tray of drinks on his back, even as he ran. The mare grabbed you and wrapped her forelegs around your neck and hugged you roughly.

"MEIN KLEINER SPATZ HAT ENDLISCH EIN PONY GEFUNDEN, DAS ER LIEBEN KANN, ICH BIN SO STOLZ!"

[Translation: “MY LITTLE SON HAS FOUND HIMSELF A PONY TO LOVE, I’M SO HAPPY!”]

The stallion slaps you on the back and grins slyly. "Du hast dir da ja nen ziemlichen Hingucker geangelt, mein Sohn! Ich erwarte viele Enkelkinder von euch beiden!"

[Translation: “You found yourself a quite a looker, my son! I expect many grandchildren from you two!”]

“Mom! Dad! Stop! It’s not like that!” you yell.

They stop praising and look at you perplexedly. “What you mean ‘not like that?’” your mother asks.

“She is a patient,” you say slowly “I am just taking her out for some dinner.”

Your parents let out a disappointed sigh.

“And here I think mine son will marry beautiful mare and have many children!”

Both you and Rarity blush heavily at your father’s words.

You bury your face in your hooves out of embarrassment. Dear goddess, send me to the moon now.

"Dad, ich könnte jetzt echt nen Drink gebrauchen."

[Translation: Dad, I could really use a drink right now.”]

“Yes! Drinks! Would the little lady like something?”

“Uh, no thank you, I’m quite alright.”

Your father cranes his head back and grabs a tankard of ale from off of the tray on his back and sets it down in front of you. You reach out and take a deep swig of the bitter drink and let the beer wash away your embarrassment.

Your mother grabs two menus from Hush-Hush and gives them to you and Rarity. “What can I get you two?”

“I’ll have the sauerkraut chowder.” you say without looking at the menu.

Rarity takes her time and peruses the menu. “I guess I’ll have the buttered carrots and brussels sprouts.” she finally says.

“Good! Your dinner should be ready in few minutes. In meantime, drink and be happy!” your mom says with a smile.

“I’ll drink to that,” you say as you take another swig of your beer.

“Uhh... Darling?” Rarity asks nervously “I really think you should go easy on the alcohol.”

“Pshh! I can hold my own.”

By the time your dinner arrives, you’ve finished your tankard and started to feel a little tipsy.

“How’s your dinner?” you ask after swallowing a mouthful of chowder. Rarity takes another bite of her dinner and makes a weird face. “I like it... It’s just there’s this weird taste I can’t nail down.”

“Ah! That’s the ale!” you say with a smile “My ma likes to baste the vegetables in it. Old family recipe, or so she tells me.”

You go to take another sip of beer, but stop as the lights begin to dim. You watch Hush-Hush begin to take the stage and clear her throat.

“WELCOME EVERYPONY TO THE GILDED LILLY!” she cries “THE GILDED LILLY IS A PLACE ALL ABOUT FUN AND DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR A CHANGE!”

You watch as your father takes the stage and stands next to Hush-Hush. “When my wonderful wife and I move to Ponyville, all we want is to make ponies happy. Food and drink okay, but sometime you need entertainment!”

Now your mother gets on the stage. “Recently, a pony by the name of Paddock came to us. His own bar burned down. He needed beer so he wouldn’t lose his business. We had much beer to spare, so in the end, we gave it to him, free of charge. He wanted to pay us back, but we turn him down.”

Your father points to the back of the room “So instead, he play piano now! Until he gets back on hooves, he plays here once a night for special game.”

Paddock stands up from behind the piano. “That’s right, mate! But, first, I’d love to sing a little ditty for you all, would you like that?”

The crowd begins to clap in approval, but you can hear Rarity groan in disapproval. “A dirty song? Oh dear.”

“This tune, is a little something I wrote for a very special mare in my life. She’s out there, in amongst you all tonight. Her name is Berry, and, well, I love her very dearly. Here’s to you, sweetheart.”

“Aww...” Rarity says aloud “Well, it can’t be that bad if it’s for somepony he loves.”

Paddock runs his hooves up the scales before finally easing into the song.

Raised on songs and stories, heroes of renown

The passing tales and glories that once was Cloplin Town

The hallowed halls and houses, the haunting foal’s rhymes

That once was part of Cloplin in the rare ould times

Ring a ring a rosey, as the light declines

I remember Cloplin City in the rare ould times

My name it is Green Paddock, as Cloplin as can be

Born hard and late in seventy-two, in a house that ceased to be

By trade I was a barman, lost out to fire, you see,

Like my house that fell to the flames, my trade's a memory

And I courted Berry Punch, as pretty as you please

A rogue and child of Celly, from the rebel Liberties

I saved her from a unicorn chap, with skin as blue as sky

When she kissed me for the first time, she taught my soul to fly!

Ring a ring a rosey, as the light declines

I remember now Ponyville, in the new and better times

The loss done made me bitter, the smoke it dimmed me brain

Cause life keeps on changing, and nothing seems the same

But at least I still have my love, of lovely purple mane,

Her smile like a summers day, makes a smile of my frown

Paddock finishes the song and looks up to the crowd with a smile. A roar of applause fills the air and you join in.

“That was so sweet!” Rarity yells as she claps her hooves together.

Your mother and father get back onto the stage, holding onto each other. “Beautiful, Paddock! Simply beautiful!” he says before planting a kiss on your mother’s cheek.

He reaches over to a table and grabs a tankard of ale and lifts it into the air. “I propose a toast! To Green Paddock and Berry Punch! May they have many happy years together!”

The crowd lifts their own glasses into the air and yell “Here here!”

“Now it’s time for the audience to get piece of action!” your father yells “We are going to make a Cloplin drinking song on the spot! Now, we’re going to need four ponies to come to stage!”

You don’t know what possesses you, but you get to your feet and make your way to the stage.

“Where are you going?” Rarity asks.

You turn to her and point to the stage. “I’m going to go sing a song.”

Three other ponies join you and you’re all standing in front of the crowd. To your left was Big Macintosh, a pony who came in every now and again to just talk. He didn’t really have any problems that he wanted to deal with, he just wanted talk, which always struck you as odd. To your right was a caramel colored earth pony stallion with a brown mane and standing next to him was another earth pony, except this one was just a bit shorter than Big Macintosh, had his white man cropped short, and had a dark, rust colored coat. The caramel earth pony gave a wave to a pegasus in the audience, who waved back.

“I know my son when I see him, but who else is here with us tonight?” your father asks the three.

“Big Mac.”

“Caramel.”

“Snapshot”

“The rules are simple,” your father begins “They sing one right after another and make up song as they go. Song ends when a pony can’t add anything or when I say so. Now we need topic,” he says as he turns to the crowd “Name me something that would happen to you that you want to keep secret.”

“Lobotomy!” somepony cries out.

Your father gives the audience an odd look, but shrugs.

“Lobotomy. Let’s hear the lobotomy drinking song. Take it away, Paddock!”

Paddock begins to play what sounded like a generic Cloplin drinking tune.

Big Macintosh clears his throat and begins. “I had a lobotomy,”

You panic for a second and say the first thing that came to mind “and now I’m not so nuts.”

“They took away half my brain,” Caramel said with a chuckle.

“and now I eat cigarette butts.” Snapshot said, making the whole crowd laugh.

It goes back to Big Mac. “I am not too bright,”

“Now I’m kind of sane.”

“I am really stupid.”

“Hey is that the rain?”

All four of you begin to sing together “Oh aye de di de di de di de di de di”

Big Mac remains quiet, so you fill in for him. “I used to go down on the streets.”

Caramel continues the song “I used to have a scar.”

“Now I ask for money.”

“And I chase carts. WOOF WOOF!” Big Mac says with a grin.

“But when I come into your town.”

“I like to shout a lot.”

“I run around scream:”

“Wow, this is hot!”

“Oh aye de di de di de di de di de di”

It was your turn and you come up with nothing, but luckily Caramel fills in for you.

“Oh I feel so much better.”

“I think I’ll go back home.”

“And after I’m finished,”

“I’ll marry a lawn gnome.” you say with a giggle.

“Boy that’d be so beautiful,”

“as happy as can be.”

“Cause I don’t care so much, you see,”

“For my lobotomy!” you yell.

“Oh aye de di de di de di de di de di”

Caramel lets Snapshot begin this verse. “Oh I really need a job now.”

“I look in the paper.”

you shrug “But I can’t find nothin’.”

“I have a scraper.”

“But I’ll keep on looking,”

“I’ll look until I can’t see.”

“If you want someone who’s nuts,”

“Be a host named Paddy!”

“Oh aye de di de di de di de di de di de diiiiiii”

Paddock stops playing and laughs aloud with the crowd, who applauded for all of you. You look to the others, shrug, and take a bow before heading back into the crowd.

You sit besides Rarity, who was still giggling at the show you and the others put on. “My, my darling, you’re just FULL of surprises. Funny, smart, multi-lingual, singer-”

“Thirsty.” you say before reaching for your drink. Rarity stops you just as you grab a hold of it. “Maybe you should slow down. You’re already looking rather tipsy.”

You shrug and pull the beer away from Rarity.

“I’m fine, I swear! What’s the worst that can happen?”

* * * * * * *

You open your eyes groggily and moan aloud. “Oh my head... What happened?”

You shift around in your bed, but immediately knew something was off. First off, this wasn’t your bed. Second, it wasn’t even your room. You quickly realize that this was Rarity’s room and her bed. You wrack your brain and try to remember the night before, but you come up with nothing.

You jump slightly as you feel a hoof run through your mane. Rolling over, you find yourself muzzle to muzzle with Rarity. “Good morning, darling. Did you sleep well?”

Finally, the night before comes rushing back to you.

* * * * * * *

You stumble through Rarity’s door, holding onto her support. “But I’m fine!” you yell out drunkenly “I can get home.”

“Your door is locked, remember?” Rarity asks crossly “I can’t believe you let yourself go like this! And now I have to take care of you while you sober up!”

Rarity’s words seem to cut through you and you start to feel horrible for your actions. “I-I’m sorry...” you say with a sniffle.

She looks to you, hurt. “Oh darling, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. Come on, let’s get you to bed and we can talk about this in the morning.”

Rarity helps you up the stairs and catches you when you begin to stumble. When you finally make it to the top, she sighs heavily.

“The guest room is quite cold around this time. And if I remember correctly, alcohol and cold nights don’t mix...” she bites her lower lip, debating something internally.

“You’re going to have to sleep with me. I’ll keep you warm tonight.” she says bashfully.

You reach out and wrap your forelegs around her neck and hug her tightly. “Awww, that’s so SWEET of you! I love you!”

Rarity’s face goes bright red and she loses her ability to talk and instead stutters unintelligibly as she leads you to the bedroom.

You fall down on the bed and let out an elated sigh. “Wow this is comfy! Come on in! The mattress is fine!”

She slowly gets into the bed with you and curls up besides you. “W-Well, goodnight.” she say shakily.

Rarity rolls over onto her side, facing away from you.

Reaching out, you wrap your forelegs around her waist and bring her closer.

“W-What are you doing?!?” she yells.

“I’m cold.” you say in a childlike voice.

“O...Okay.”

You lay there in silence, unable to fall asleep for some reason. The booze addled your brain, but kept you wide awake.

“Do... Did... Did you really mean it?” Rarity asks suddenly.

“Mean what?”

She rolls back around to face you.

“Did you mean it when you said you love me?”

You suddenly feel very embarrassed lying here with her. “Well I... You see, I...” you let out a deep breath and collect yourself. “Yeah. I did mean it. But you’d never love a pony like me! I’m too... Caring, apparently.”

“What do you mean ‘too caring’? Who told you that?”

“Last five mares I dated,” you say grudgingly “One of them dumped me when I told them they were a nymphomaniac and needed help, the other when I tried to counsel them, then there was one that with the...the point is, they dumped me because I cared too much for them. Because I saw that they needed help.”

Tears begin to fill your eyes. “Because I tried to help them. And the same would happen to you.” You look away from Rarity, ashamed you were crying like this.

You feel Rarity’s hooves brush against your mane. Turning to her, you see her eyes streaming with tears.

“Darling, I love how you’ve been there for me. How you’re trying to make me a better pony. I love you and everything about you. That’s why I’ve been trying to find some way to be with you. Why I came on so strongly before... I thought that if I well... I thought you’d want to be with me.”

You and Rarity stare at each other for the longest time before you start to draw closer to each other. Your lips touch and you begin to kiss deeply. You force your tongue into her mouth and feel her tongue meet yours. You kiss like this for what feels like the longest time and finally pull away. Rarity’s face is bright red and her eyes seem almost glazed over.

“W...Wow...” she says breathlessly. She collects herself and looks at you intently.

“You...You’ll still be here in the morning, right?” she asks nervously.

You draw her closer and hold her tight. “Only if you’ll be here with me.”

Chapter 5

“Are you okay, darling? You spaced out there for a moment.”

You snap yourself out of your daze and try to remain calm.

“L-Listen, about last night-”

Rarity brings a hoof up to your mouth and stops you.

“Last night, you made me feel something I haven’t felt in a long time; Loved. Truly and unconditionally loved. But as much I love you, I’m going to respect your wishes. I’m going to get better first before anything else happens between us, for you.”

She removes her hoof and waits for you to say something. After much thinking, all you can come up with is two simple words:

“Thank you.”

Rarity begins to inch her way to the edge of the bed. “I’m sure you’ve got a busy day ahead of you. I’m going-”

Reaching out, you grab a hold of Rarity’s hoof. “To stay here with me?” you finish for her.

“But don’t you have patients you need to see?”

“I cleared my schedule last night, in case I… Well…”

“Got drunk and ended up in my bed?” Rarity asked with a tease.

“Yeah. Well, except for the ending up in your bed part. That was unexpected… But nice.”

Rarity makes her way back into the bed and curls up beside you. “Yes… It is quite nice.”

“Except for my splitting headache…” you say as you rub your head.

“Oh, you poor baby. Here, let me kiss it all better,” Rarity cranes her neck towards you and plants a kiss on your forehead “all better?”

“All better,” you mimic before making yourself comfortable “you don’t mind if I get a little more sleep, do you?”

Rarity runs a hoof through your mane and smiles. “Not at all, darling. Not at all.”

You stare into Rarity’s eyes and look for something romantic to say, but find nothing because of a childish song ringing in your ears.

“…and Rarity sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-”

Rarity snaps to attention and glares at the filly standing in the door. “Sweetie Belle! What are you doing home so early?!?” she cries out.

Sweetie Belle shrinks back from the doorway. “I know I said the sleepover was supposed to last all weekend, but it sort of ended early… I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s alright. You just surprised us, is all.”

“You really shouldn’t have yelled like that,” you whisper.

“I was startled! She wasn’t supposed to be home until tomorrow!” Rarity hisses “What are we supposed to do?”

“Don’t worry, I got this.” you say with a reassuring smile.

Getting up from the bed, you walk over to the door way and crouch down to the filly’s level. “Hey there. You must be Sweetie Belle. Your big sister has told me all about you.”

The little filly perks up a bit. “Really?”

“Of course, she told me all about how you help her around the shop and make those beautiful dresses.”

Sweetie Belle kicks at the ground bashfully. “Yeah, I try to help her whenever I can.”

“And you do a wonderful job.” Sweetie Belle can’t help but beam at the praise “So, have you had breakfast yet?”

“No, not yet. Scootaloo’s parents had to take her to the doctor’s and couldn’t leave us alone. So they dropped me and Apple Bloom off.”

“Tell you what, let’s go make breakfast so your sister can get ready for the day,” you say as you guide her down the hall.

“Can I help?”

“Sure. You ever have monkey bread?”

* * * * * * * * * *

“Okay, now just keep stirring the glaze.”

Sweetie Belle was more than eager to help and a fast learner. Surprisingly, she knew all of her cooking measurements and didn’t hesitate when you asked for a cup of brown sugar.

“Who taught you to cook? Rarity?” you ask as you idly cut the doughy biscuits into pieces.

She shakes her head “No, the Cutie Mark Crusaders tried to cook before and we learned the easy stuff, but it didn’t end that well...” she says rather sullenly. “Where did you learn to make this stuff, anyway?”

“Well you see, in the forests beyond Equestria, there’s a clan of monkeys called the Yekmons that can make all sorts of sweets.”

Sweetie Belle stops stirring and looks at you, her jaw hanging slack.

You can’t help but continue to milk it. “During my time as a jungle explorer, I stumbled upon the clan and they took me in as their own. They showed me all sorts of jungle secrets and how to make the best treats. And that’s how I learned this super secret recipe. You should be honored. I’ve only shared it with a choice few.”

Sweetie Belle stares at you in wide-eyed disbelief “Really?”

“Of course not, I learned it in college.”

“That was mean!” she says as she sticks her tongue out at you.

You stick your tongue out back at her “Oh yeah? Well nyeh!”

Sweetie Belle contorts her face together and you can’t help but laugh and join in and start making faces at each other. This goes on for a few minutes until you hear Rarity join in on the laughter. “I take it you two are having fun?” she asked through a chortle.

“Yeah! A whole bunch of fun!”

“That’s great to hear,” she says with a warm smile “When do you think breakfast shall be ready?”

“Twenty minutes, give or take.” you say as you pop the dish into the oven.

“That long?” Sweetie Belle groans.

“Good things come to those who wait, Sweetie Belle. You can’t rush it,” Rarity says as she takes a seat at the table “Oh and darling, would you please make some tea?”

“I said it before, and I’ll say it again: I’m proud of you, Rarity.”

She stares at you as you fetch the teapot. “When are you going to tell me why you’re proud?”

You remain quiet as you start the kettle, but can’t help grin ear to ear.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Why are you here, anyway?” Sweetie Belle asked through a mouthful of monkey bread.

“Sweetie Belle, don’t take with your mouth full. It’s not lady-like.” Rarity says before taking another bite of her breakfast.

“You see, I was real sick last night. My tummy hurt and I had a headache. And since I couldn’t remember where I put the keys to my house, your big sister let me stay at here for the night.”

Sweetie Belle seems to buy your spin on your drunken night, but is still curious. “But won’t Rarity get sick because you were sleeping in her bed?”

“Uhh… What he had is something I can’t catch, Sweetie Belle,” Rarity says nervously.

“Oh, okay.” she says, sounding convinced “So what are you doing today?”

Rarity looks to you and shrugs. “I really don’t know… We could always get out of the house and go somewhere.”

Upon hearing this, Sweetie Belle’s eyes light up. “Can we go to the park? Please? We haven’t been to the park in forever!”

“Hm... The park actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Would you like to tag along, darling?”

“I don’t see why not,” you say with a shrug “I haven’t been to the park since I was a little colt.”

“Great! Keep an eye on Sweetie Belle while I freshen up, will you?”

Rarity makes her way out of the kitchen and down the hall, leaving you with Sweetie Belle.

“So, you’re Rarity’s boyfriend?” Sweetie Belle asks once Rarity’s out of earshot. The questions startles you, but you clear your throat and remain calm.

“W-Well, not exactly. I’m a special friend. She’s been having a lot of problems lately and I’m helping her take care of them.” Sweetie Belle glares at you. “You don’t have to keep treating me like child, you know. I’ve got a boyfriend.”

“Oh, you do?”

She nods quickly. “Uh-huh. And so does Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.”

“Okay then, I’ll stop beating around the bush. I’d like to be your sister’s boyfriend, but we both want her to get better first before anything gets serious. ”

“Oh, okay then. Just don’t hurt her, okay? She really likes you and talks about you all the time.”

“What does she say?” you ask as you take a sip of tea.

“She goes on about how nice and wonderful and how much of a gentlecolt you are,”

You can’t help but smile at the compliments Rarity was giving you behind your back.

“But sometimes she dresses up in front of a mirror and pretends she’s talking to you.”

You almost choke on your tea. “R-Really now... Does she know you’re watching her?”

Sweetie Belle shakes her head. “No. Sometimes she wears really weird clothes like those uniforms at private schools or a nurse’s gown and makes all sorts of weird poses while saying your name.”

A rolling heat begins to travel up your face at the thought of Rarity wearing such things. “Uh, S-Sweetie Belle, I shouldn’t have to tell you that spying is rude... You really should stop.”

She blinks a few times. “Oh. I never thought of it like that...” she says bashfully “you’re probably right.”

Before things could get too awkward, Rarity pokes her head into the kitchen. “Okay, I’m done darling. If you want, you can use my shower while I make a picnic lunch.”

“Can I help?” Sweetie Belle asks as she bounds up to her big sister.

Rarity sighs and shakes her head. “Sweetie Belle, I-”

You shoot Rarity a look and she seems to get the message.

“That would be wonderful, thank you Sweetie Belle.”

You give Rarity a nod in approval before making your way out of the kitchen and to the bathroom.

She’s learning. She may not realize it, but she’s learning.

* * * * * * * * * *

Sweetie Belle couldn’t control her giggling as she swung higher and higher on the swing.

“Push me higher!”

You put your hooves on her back and give her a mighty shove.

“Wait, that’s too high!” Sweetie Belle cries out in panic.

Reaching out, you do your best to gently guide her to a stop. Sweetie Belle hops down from the swing and seems happy to be on solid ground. “Oh wow, that was scary! I mean, it wasn’t as bad as zip-lining, but still...”

“Wait, you were zip-You know what, never mind. I don’t want to know. Why don’t you go play on the jungle gym? I’ll be over here with your sister.”

Sweetie Belle runs off without a word and makes her way to the other side of the playground. You join Rarity’s side underneath the tree where she set up the picnic she and Sweetie Belle had made earlier.

“Care for some fruit juice?” Rarity offers as she pours a glass from her thermos.

“Yes, thank you very much.” You down the drink quickly, your body still dehydrated from last night’s binge.

“Darling, I must say, you have quite the way with children. I don’t think I’ve seen Sweetie Belle have so much fun.”

“What can I say? I like children. They’re just so innocent and worry free... Not like some of the bundles of stress I see everyday... no offense.” you say as you gesture your glass out for a refill.

“None taken. I know what you mean. Sweetie Belle may be having a hard time finding out who she is, but it’s not keeping her up at night.”

You gesture to Sweetie Belle and the Cutie Mark Crusaders “It also helps when you have friends like that.”

“Yes, especially that boyfriend of theirs.”

You watch the three fillies pounce on the colt and roll around in the grass, giggling all the while.

“Wait, you mean...”

Rarity nods and confirms your suspicions. “That little colt moved to Ponyville not too long ago and made friends with those three... But it blossomed into something more. Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo all fell in love with him. It’s cute, actually.”

“Wow... I just hope everything turns out okay for them. I’d rather not see any of them get hurt.”

“They all seem to love each other very much. And really, does that colt look like a heart breaker?”

Looking back to the four kids, you couldn’t help but feel your heart melt. All four of them were spread out on the grass, just looking up at the sky. The colt was doing his best to hold onto all three of them as tightly as he could and each one of them were smiling ear to ear.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sure things will work out.”

After a few minutes, you let out a long yawn and get to your hooves. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll head home.”

Rarity looks disappointed for a second, but nods. “I understand, dear. You’re still not feeling well from your hangover, are you?”

You nod meekly. You didn’t say anything, but your stomach was doing flips and that headache turned into a full blown migraine.

“I’ll see you soon, darling.”

Rarity looks at you oddly as you walk up to her and gasps aloud when you surprise her with a short, but tender kiss. She looks at you dreamily, not expecting this kind of forwardness from you. “What...What was that for?”

“That was to give you some incentive. I want to see you bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow for therapy. Understand?”

She nods slowly. “Understood...” Rarity snaps herself out of her daze just as you begin to walk away “I will, darling, I promise!”

Thatta girl you think with a smile as you make your way home.

* * * * * * * * * *

Five more minutes you think idly. A week had passed since the picnic and Rarity had made stunning improvement in her therapy. Today was supposed to be her checkup so you could both see how far she’s come. On cue, you hear a knock on your office door.

“Enter.”

Just as you expected, Rarity walks into your office, grinning from ear to ear.

“So, how are you feeling?” you ask as you pull her file out from her desk.

Rarity laughs as she jumps into the air. “I feel better than I have in years, darling! I’m happy! I’m cured!”

“I’ll be the judge of that ‘cured’ part...” you say as you flip open her file. “When you first came in, I asked you some questions. I’m going to ask you again and we’re going to compare, alright?”

“When I asked you how many times a day you think ‘This needs to be perfect’, you told me around a dozen. And what about now?”

“To be completely honest, once or twice at the most.” Rarity says thoughtfully.

“And when asked how anxious you feel when something isn’t perfect on a scale of one to ten, you told me eight, maybe nine. And now?”

“Well, two or three.” She isn’t as happy and ecstatic as she was a few seconds ago.

“And this has been every day?”

Rarity sighs heavily “I still have more therapy sessions, don’t I?” she asks, dejected.

Getting up from your desk, you move to her side and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Why don’t we take a walk?”

* * * * * * * * * *

You and Rarity walk through the streets of Ponyville, idly chatting about the weather and the current going on’s in Ponyville, but the conversation keeps circling back to the topic at hand.
“Rarity, you’re still having these obsessive thoughts.”

“I know... I just... Can’t help it.” she says sounding quite frustrated “It’s who I am.”

“Oh, I know that. And I doubt any more therapy will help.”

“But... If more therapy won’t help, then what do we do?” Rarity asks worryingly.

“First, we stop here.” you say as you point to Sugar Cube Corner.

“Uhh... Okay? What exactly do we need here?”

“It’s quite simple. You don’t need any more therapy. You’re healthy. You’re happy.” you say as you open the door for her “And for that reason, we need to-”

Before you could get another word out, Rarity steps through the threshold and is immediately assaulted by screaming and noisemakers “SURPRISE!”

Rarity nearly jumps out of her skin and looks around her, shocked. “Wh-What’s going on?!?” she cries

Pinkie Pie bounds up to Rarity, jumping up and down excitedly. “It’s your ‘All Better’ party!”

Rarity blinks a few times, trying to process what was going on. “All better...” she turns to you, smiling. “I’m... all better? But I thought-”

“You thought you needed more therapy because you aren’t 100% better. Or in other words, ‘perfect’. To be honest Rarity, that tiny obsessive part of you will always be a part of your personality. No amount of therapy will change that. I’m sorry, but you’re not perfect.”

She looks at you dumbfounded. “I’m not perfect?”

“And I’m completely fine with this. What about you?”

Rarity looks over everypony in the room and slowly starts to smile. “Yes... Yes, I’m fine with this.”

The party goers clap their hooves together and cheer for her, having finally conquered her anxiety.

“Alright! Let’s p-” you stop Pinkie Pie from going any further.

“Ah, ah, ah! Not just yet. Rarity needs one more thing before this is all legit.” You feel every pony in the room watch as you reach into your coat pocket and produce a piece of paper.

“I’ve always wanted to sing this when I discharged a patient.” You say before clearing your throat.

“As counselor, I must aver, I’ve thoroughly examined her and she’s not only merely sane, she’s really most sincerely sane!

You give the papers to Rarity, who looks them over quickly. “What are these?”

“Your discharge papers. It’s all there. You’re no longer my patient. Congratu-”

Rarity’s eyes light up when she hears you’re no longer her doctor and races towards you. She throws her forelegs around your neck and draws you in for a deep, passionate kiss. You can’t help but kiss back, enjoying every second of it. When you finally break the kiss, you look into her eyes and smile. “Now THAT was perfect.”

It’s only then that you notice that the entire room has gone quiet and every pony was staring at both you and Rarity.

“W-Well... This is awkward.” you say with a nervous chuckle.

“Well what’s everypony standing around for?” Pinkie Pie screams, breaking the silence. “Let’s party!”

You don’t know how she does it, but Pinkie manages to get the party rolling again, albeit with some ponies wanting all the details.

“Rarity, when were you going to tell us you snagged yourself a stallion?” Rainbow Dash asked with a tease.

“Well... I don’t know. It just sort of happened.”

“So she was your date, Fritz? I should have known.”

“Oh, I’m so happy for you two! I wanted to say something before when I saw you kissing in the park, but I didn’t think it was my place to say anything because you’d tell us when you were ready and then we threw this party and you didn’t tell us, but sure did show us!” Pinkie Pie somehow managed to say with a single breath.

You wander off and let Rarity talk amongst her friends and grab yourself a glass of wine. Just as you’re about to take a sip, you feel a tug on your jacket. Looking down, you find yourself looking down at Spike, Twilight’s dragon assistant at the library, just staring at you.

“Uh, can I help you?” you ask after a few seconds. The dragon sighs heavily and pats your side. “Take good care of Rarity, okay? For me?”

“I will, I promise.” you say, not quite sure what to make of the dragon’s behavior. Spike gives you a satisfied nod and disappears into the crowd of party goers.

Just as Spike leaves, Applejack takes his place.

“Uh, hey Doc? I just wanted to say thanks. Again. Fer, you know, payin’ for my vacation and all.” she says rather bashfully.

“What are you talking about? I just bought a bunch of apples. It just so happened to be just enough for you to go on vacation.” you say with a chuckle.

“Well, whatever the case, ya did me a huge favor. Thanks again.”

“Not a problem, AJ. But if you don’t mind me asking, where are you going?” you ask curiously.

“I took yer advice and booked a place somewhere tropical. Summerset Keys. It’s gunna be fun.”

“Surf, sand, and sun? You better have fun.”

“Heh, I’ll make sure to doc. You have a good one now.”

Just as Applejack begins to walk away, you call out to her “Bring me back a souvenir!”

Once Applejack had left, Rarity walks up to you and joins your side.

“Well?” she asks coyly.

“Well what?” you ask back as you take a sip of wine.

“Aren’t you going to ask me something?”

“Oh yeah. You aren’t mad because I spoofed the coroner’s lines from The Wizard of Oz to deliver the news that you were all better, are you?”

Rarity looks at you quite irate. “No! I don’t care about that! You promised me something. When this all began, remember?”

You shake your head and shrug. “Sorry, nothing’s ringing a bell...”

She stares at you, mouth agape. “B..But...”

You can’t hold it anymore and start snickering like a fool. “Oh Rarity, you are so easy to mess with. Of course I remember.”

“Oh thank Celestia! I started to think you forgot all about that tender moment...”

Putting a hoof around Rarity’s shoulder, you draw her in and hug her tightly. “I’d never forget a promise like that. I said I’d give you a night you’d never forget and I meant I’d give you a night you’d never forget.”

“Do you mind if I ask you what you had in mind?”

“Oh you know, nothing special. Dinner and dance at the Queue du Chevaux in Canterlot.”

Rarity’s jaw almost unhinges. “B-b-b-b-but how did you even get reservations?!? The waiting list is a mile long!”

“The manager is a friend and former patient of mine. I just sent him a letter and asked him for a favor.”

“When do we go?” she asks ecstatically.

“Tomorrow night.”

Rarity squeals with delight and begins planting kisses up and down your face. “Oh thank you thank you thank you! This is so exciting! Queue du Chevaux is one of the most fanciest and prestigious restaurantsin Canter-” Rarity gasps aloud and begins to visibly panic “Oh my gosh, I need to go to the spa and get a full facial and pedicure, I don’t know what to wear or how to do my mane or-”

You grab a hold of Rarity’s shoulders and force her to look you in the eyes. “Calm. down.” you say slowly “You’re beautiful just the way you are. The only thing you need is that red satin dress. You know the one I’m talking about. And if you really want to doll yourself up, you’re more than welcome to, but you don’t have to go overboard, alright? And above all, be yourself.” Once you finish, Rarity lets out a sigh of relief and nods. “Alright. I’ll wear the dress, since you find it so...sexy.” she says with a tease.

“Or you could wear that nurse’s outfit or school filly’s uniform you’re so fond of.”

Rarity’s face turns bright red. “H-H-H-HOW DID YOU-I MEAN, I-”

You draw Rarity in and give her a quick kiss. “Oh you. You shouldn’t be embarrassed. Everypony likes to do a little roleplaying now and again.” leaning in, you whisper in her ear “If that’s something you really want to do, let me know. I’m game.”

Rarity’s face turns a deeper shade of red and she starts tripping over her words. “I-I-Well, tha-I mean...”

You can’t help but laugh aloud as she becomes increasingly flustered. “Oh you. No need to get so hot under the collar.”

“Oh, you are so mean! Why do you keep teasing me like that?”

“Because you’re so cute when you’re speechless.” you say as you nuzzle up to Rarity, eliciting a shiver of delight from the mare. “Now go on and enjoy your party.”

“Alright...” she says dreamily before snapping herself back to attention “Thank you. For everything.” Rarity gives you a kiss on the cheek before joining her friends again while you nurse a glass of wine in the back of the room. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Pinkie Pie running up to each of the party goers, refilling glasses or filling plates. It doesn’t take long for her to come bounding up to you, acting her usual bubbly self.

“Hiya! Enjoying the party?”

“That I am. Thanks for organizing it on such short notice.” you say before taking another sip of wine.

“Oh no sweat! It wasn’t that hard and as soon as you told me Rarity was all better this morning, I was so excited to get everything set up!”

“And you did a wonderful job. Thanks again.”

Pinkie Pie beams with pride and wanders off towards the punchbowl, leaving you to watch the party enter full swing, so it isn’t before long that somepony asked about party games. This prompted Pinkie Pie to bust out ‘pin the tail on the pony’.

“What’s with the target and numbers?” somepony had asked when they saw the bull’s eye Pinkie had painted on the picture.

“Well, since we’re all grown up here, I thought we could play a more grown up game! The numbers get bigger the closer you get to the target and that tells you how many shots of hard cider you have to do!”

The other ponies seem excited to play a twist on their favorite childhood game, except for Rarity, who slinks away before they get a chance to break out the shot glasses.

“Quite an odd game, isn’t it?” she muses aloud as she joins your side.

You and Rarity sit back and watch the other ponies stumble around while trying to get the tail in the right spot.

“Pinkie Pie came up with it, of course it’s odd.”

“Well, I couldn’t see myself playing such an absurd game; stumbling around like a drunkard... groping around for the target... laughing...having fun...” she trails off as she watches Twilight stumble and fall backwards and land on her back, only to giggle aloud as the other ponies help her up.

“You want to join in, don’t you?”

Rarity looks almost insulted. “No! No! Of course not! Maybe... Yes.” she says with a defeated sigh “But it seems so un-lady like. What would the other ponies think?”

“They’d think you’re having a good time. Don’t worry what the others think. Just have fun.”

“You know... You’re right. I’m going to go enjoy myself.” she says confidently “Care to join me?”

“No, no, you go have fun. I’m quite fine. A glass of wine is all I’m having tonight.”

“Oh, alright.” she says sounding rather disappointed “But look on the bright side: If I’m the one who gets inebriated this time, I’ll have to sleep in your bed.”

You feel a blush rise in your cheeks at the idea of Rarity sleeping in your bed this time around “I-I look forward to that.”

A sly grin begins to form on Rarity’s face. “Me too,” she leans in and whispers in your ear “especially since sleeping is the last thing we’d do...”

You begin grabbing at your collar in a vain attempt to cool yourself down. “W-well, you see, I... well...Umm...”

Rarity’s the one who starts giggling like a fool this time. “Oh you are right! It is cute when you’re speechless.” she says with a tease.

Oh...She’s good... you think as she makes her way back to the party.

* * * * * * * * * *

Taking a deep breath, you gather your nerves and knock on the door to the Carousel Boutique.

The party ended as most parties do; with full bellies and high spirits. You and Rarity parted ways when it all came to an end and both promised to meet up tomorrow night. The day passed and it was already time to leave for Canterlot. You reach out to knock again, but stop when the door begins to open. You can’t help but gasp aloud when you see her step through the threshold. She was wearing the red satin halter top you and her were so familiar with, bright red lipstick, and a little rouge for added measure.

“I’m ready.”

“Your chariot awaits, my dear.” you say with a bow. Rarity looks puzzled for a moment until she sees the pegasus drawn chariot coming in for a landing.

“Very nice timing.” you say as they touch down.

“Thanks.” the two pegasi say in unison.

“Oh this is simply fabulous!” Rarity says as you help her into the chariot “But are you sure you can afford all of this?

“Well, it’s for you, so it’s worth it.”

“Thank you again, darling... You make me feel so special.” she says as she nuzzles up to you. You give her a kiss on the cheek, making her giggle aloud.

“You’re welcome.”

You and Rarity remain silent for the entire ride to Canterlot, simply enjoying each other’s presence and the spectacular view. Your chauffeurs sense the atmosphere and remain quiet until you’re finally at the Queue du Chevaux. You can’t help but stare up at it and it’s towering size. It was a restaurant, hotel, and ballroom all rolled into one and towered above most of the other buildings in Canterlot, with the exception of the castle.

“You two enjoy yourself now.”

“Oh, we will! And thank you!” Rarity says as she bounds up to the two large double doors “I can’t believe we get to eat at the Queue du Chevaux!”

Reaching out, you open the door for her. “You better believe it.”

Walking through the doors, you and Rarity are immediately hit by the sound of music that seems to resonate through the entire building and give it an air of peace and high spirits.

Rarity does the best to contain herself as you and her make your way to the head waiter. “Hello, we have a reservation.” you say to the unicorn behind the podium. His blue coat and yellow mane looked like they had seen a lot of work this morning to get them looking just right. “I’m sorry sir, but you’re not on the list.

Both yours and Rarity’s jaw drop at the news. “What are you talking about? I haven’t even told you my name yet!”

“Well, I can tell just by looking at you that you’re not-”

“ELLE CUISINE! JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!?”

The pony visibly cringes upon hearing his name and looks to the blue earth pony with the curly orange mane barreling towards him. “B-B-But sir, I-”

“Don’t you ‘But sir, I-’ me, mister! This is the third time I’ve caught you turning down guests because you didn’t think they looked like ‘Queue du Chevaux material’. This is your final chance to get your act together or you’re FIRED!”

Elle Cuisine starts to stumble across his words. “I-I-I-I’m dreadfully s-s-sorry! Y-You said you had reservations?”

“I still do, right Affero?” you ask tentatively.

The pony reaches out and grabs your hoof and shakes it vigorously. “Of course, anything for the pony that helped me get over my depression.” he says gratefully “Elle, show these two to their table.”

Elle clears his throat, but can’t stop his voice from cracking “R-right this way...” he says as he leads you into the main hall. You can’t help but be awestruck by the sheer beauty of the place; crystal chandeliers, elegant glass sculptures, high end dining tables and cutlery, everything you’d expect of such an extravagant restaurant.

“Your table.” he says rather curtly.

“Uhh, thank you... May we get two menus, please?” Rarity asks as she takes her seat.

The waiter reaches into his apron and produces two menus, which he promptly slams down on the table, making both you and Rarity jump back. Before you can even get a chance to look it over, Elle Cuisine huffs off, mumbling something under his breath.

“What’s his problem?” Rarity asks as she opens her menu.

“Forget him. He’s probably mad that a beautiful mare like you isn’t on the market anymore.”

Rarity stifles a giggle. “Oh stop. Flattery will get nowhere.”

Leaning in, you give Rarity a short kiss before smiling. “What about that? Where does that get me?”

“Oh… Right about here.”

Rarity presses her lips to yours and eases her tongue inside your mouth, sending a jolt of pleasure through your entire body. The kiss seemed more carnal and exciting knowing that you were surrounded by other ponies who were watching you. You and Rarity try to fully enjoy the kiss, but both stop when you hear a pony clear their throat to get your attention. Looking up, you see Elle Cuisine standing over you.

“Have you decided on your order yet?” he asks.

“Uh, no. Not yet. But could we get something to drink?”

Rarity looks over the wine list briefly before tapping on a specific brand with her hoof “How about a bottle of chardonnay? I’ve always wanted to try that.”

“Sure. Can we get that, please?” you ask before opening up the menu for the first time.

Elle Cuisine sighs heavily and disappears once more without so much as a word.

Looking through the menu, you can’t help but be impressed by the variety of food and drink from all over Equestria.

“See anything you like?” Rarity asks as she peruses the menu.

“Well there’s this unicorn in a red satin dress I’d like t-oh you mean on the menu.” you say jokingly “The barley and feta stuffed artichokes look good. I think I’ll go with that.”

“Well then, I guess I’ll go with the watercress salad with frissee and avocado. It sounds quite delicious.”

Just as you and Rarity finish deciding on what to eat, Elle cuisine returns with wine. “Now you decided yet?” he asks as he pulls the cork off of the wine bottle.

Rarity levitates the wine bottle into the air while placing the orders. “Yes, he’ll have an order of the barley and feta stuffed artichokes and I’d like a watercress salad with frissee and avocado.” she says as she pours you a glass. Cuisine finishes writing down your orders and looks to you with a forced smile. “Your food shall be ready in a moment.”

“See, it’s getting better already.” you say as you raise your glass “To us.”

“To us.” Rarity says before bringing the glass to your lips.

You stop after the first sip, only to gag violently. “Dear Celestia, that’s bitter!” you say as you rub the taste off of your tongue.

“Oh dear lord, I could use this as salad dressing! Whatever they gave us, it is not chardonnay.”

Just as you manage to get the taste out of your mouth, Cuisine returns carrying your orders.

Well, at least the food will be better you think as Cuisine sets your plates down.

This thought is quickly dashed when you see your food for the first time. You’ve had artichokes before and they were usually a deep green, but these were almost grey and rubbery. Rarity’s food didn’t look any better; the salad was brown in some places and the odor coming off from it couldn’t be healthy.

“Enjoy.” Cuisine says before running off.

“Well... Maybe it tastes better than it looks.” you say hopefully. You lean in and take a small bite from your dinner and immediately retch. “It’s rotten!” you cry.

“I-It’s not that bad...” Rarity says as she tries to swallow a mouthful of her salad.

Holding a hoof into the air, you try to get Elle Cuisine’s attention. You stop when you feel Rarity grab your hoof and push it down. “No, please. Don’t cause a scene. It’s fine.”

“It is not fine!” you hiss “The wine is crap, the food is crap, and I’m not about to let them ruin your perfect night!”

“I am having a perfect night! I’m here with you and I’m enjoying myself. Admittedly, I’m not flattered by the quality of the food, but it’s not why we came here.” she says as she gets up from the table “We came to have the time of our lives. Let’s dance the night away.”

“You’re right. Let’s not let a little bad food spoil our night.”

Joining Rarity’s side, you and her make your way to the dance hall. You can’t help but stare at the odd performance before you. In the back, the orchestra you heard on the way in was playing the same exact song, which the ponies dance to in a methodical and almost calculated way. Each one had their own partner and stayed at least a foot away from at any given time. They side stepped to the left, right and the moved backwards once to the rhythm and reversed it every odd interval.

“How is this dancing?” you ask as you and Rarity make your way onto the dance floor. “There’s no contact or communication, just movement.”

“Well, it’s not the most romantic thing in the world, but we might as well give it a shot.” Rarity says as she takes lead. Sighing, you do your best to mimic her motions and spend the majority of your time looking at her hooves instead of her.

“Having fun?” you ask after getting the steps down. You stop dead when you finally see the pained look on Rarity’s face. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Oh my... I... I need to use the lady’s room.” she says before running off. You let out a deflated sigh as you wander over to the refreshment table. You pour yourself a glass of punch and immediately down it, hoping that somepony had spiked it before you got to it.

“Why so glum, pal?”

Looking to your side, you finally notice the unicorn in the tuxedo standing next to you. “You wouldn’t understand...” you say as you look into the empty glass of punch.

The unicorn chuckles under his breath as he adjusts his glasses. “I’ve been around the block a few times. Try me.”

You don’t know why, but you begin to open up to the unicorn. “I promised my date a night she’ll never forget and it’s turning into that for sure, but not in the good way. The wine burned my tongue, the food was bad, the dancing was almost mechanical and had no love, and now she’s in the bathroom probably getting sick.” You let out another heavy sigh as you hang her head “I just wish I could give her what she deserves.”

“Sounds like you’ve been royally screwed,” the unicorn says as he furrows his brow “These upper-class have ruined almost everything about this place. Not only have they messed up the food, but they wouldn’t know a good time if it came up and bit them!”

“I mean, honestly. Look at that. No emotion. No love. If just one person got out there and showed them how to swing...”

Your ears perk up “Swing? What’s that?”

The unicorn looks at you, almost hurt. “Oh man, you don’t know what you’re missing. Jangles, get over here!”

In almost an instant, a blue earth pony runs up to the unicorn. “Yeah Benny?”

“Let’s show this colt how to swing.”

The earth pony’s eyes light up. “Oh yes, yes, yes!”

In unison, they both rear up and stand on their hind legs and lock their forelegs together. “You see, the key to swing is support; both physical and emotional. You need your partner to be there for you and trust that you’re going to be there so you don’t fall.”

All at once, they both start to tap their hooves on the ground and move from side to side. “And most importantly, you gotta keep up with the music.” With that, they start to pick up speed. In one quick and fluid motion, the unicorn let’s go of one foreleg and spins the earth pony in a circle before spinning himself around and grabbing her foreleg again.

They continue dancing like this for a few minutes and you can’t help but clap when they finally finish. “That was amazing! I’ve never seen dancing like that before!”

“It’s sort of sad that swing isn’t more popular. If I could just-” the unicorn stops talking and turns to you, a sly grin forming on his face. “You want to give your mare a night she’ll never forget, right?”

You nod “Of course.”

“And I want out of here. It’s time for Benny Goodcolt to split this popsicle stand. But I want to give these hoity-toities something to remember me by... And you’re going to help me.”

“Wait, what? How can I help?”

“Simple. I play the music, you swing. Dig?”

“But I don’t know how!”

The unicorn puts a hoof on your shoulder and smile. “Swinging is as natural as breathing. Once you start, you’ll never stop. Now get ready.”

Before you can get another word out, the unicorn runs off towards the orchestra and starts saying something.

“Darling, I think it’s time we leave...” you hear Rarity say from behind you.

Okay... Now or never

“Not just yet. One more dance. Please?” you ask nervously.

Rarity sighs heavily and starts to get into formation. “Fine, one more-”

“No, not like that.” you say as you draw closer.

She looks at you, puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“Like this. Reaching out, you grab a hold of Rarity’s fore legs as you saw Goodcolt do and rear up so you both are standing on your hind legs. Just as you do, the music stops, making everyone turn to the orchestra.

“I think it’s time for something a little different,” Benny says as he levitates a clarinet into the air “and a one and a two and a...”

The orchestra picks up again, playing a slightly more cheery and tune.

“What are you doing?” Rarity asks as you begin to take lead.

“One, two, one, t- I’m dancing. And so are you. So just enjoy yourself.”

“B-but everyone is staring!” Rarity says as you begin to rock yourself and her back and forth.

“Let them.”

Getting a little more confident, you pick up the speed and Rarity manages to follow suit.

Goodcolt was right, this feel so natural...

“Darling, I’m just at a loss for words... This feels so strange, but romantic...” she says as you manage to dip her back slightly “Where did you learn to dance like this?”

“Oh you know, a passing sage taught me one night.”

Rarity laughs aloud as you spin her around once more. “Well, wherever you learned it, I’m glad you did! This is the most fun I’ve ever had!”

“Just what do you think you think you’re doing?!?” a crass voice cried out.

Looking to your side, you can’t help but smile for the first time when seeing Elle. “What does it look like?!?”

“This is wrong!”

“If this is wrong, I don’t want to be right!” Rarity cackles as she really starts to get into things.

“Come on, let’s rock this joint!” you yell to the growing crowd of ponies.

All at once, the music stops.“You heard the pony!” Benny Goodcolt yells to the orchestra “and a one and a two and a three!”

The music starts again, but the beat is different. It somehow makes it’s way through your very bones and makes you want to dance the night away.

Surprisingly, the urge you felt is now being felt by all the other ponies who had been dancing before. Elle Cuisine can only watch in horror as couple after couple stands up and starts swinging. They all start out shakily and unsure of themselves but it doesn’t take long for them to find their groove. Even Rarity is getting more daring, doing more spins and even dropping down for a split, only to have you help her back up.

“Kiss me!” Rarity cries.

Acting on impulse, you lean forward and kiss her deeply, savoring the pleasure of it all. You couldn’t help but notice that you were still dancing as your lips were locked, somehow heightening the experience as a whole.

The music speeds up for a final time and comes down to a might crescendo as you break the kiss, leaving you and Rarity out of breath. You both slump down and rest on your haunches as you try to catch your breath.

Rarity turns to you, panting for air “Oh dear Celestia... That was... That was just...”

“WUNDERBAR!”

You try to enjoy the afterglow of the whole experience, but can’t help but feel irritated when Elle Cuisine comes walking up to you with a scowl on his face.

“I never want to see you two here ever again! That was the most undignified show of-”

“Oh shut up!” Rarity yells, startling everyone “This dance was the best part of my night! First you refuse to let us in, after that you served us vinegar instead of wine, then you gave us rotten food and now you try to tell us how and how we can’t dance! I can’t see how the manager could let something like this slide!”

As if on cue, Affero appears from the crowd, staring daggers at Elle. “You did what?” he asks, his voice dripping with anger.

Elle Cuisine begins to back up, only to trip on an outstretched hoof belonging to Benny Goodcolt.

“You’ve been trying to run this restaurant under my nose and you’ve been treating my friends like garbage?” Affero takes a deep breath and seems to calm down slightly, making Elle calm down for a moment.

“YOU’RE FIRED!” Affero screams at the top of his lungs, making Elle jump back and scramble for the door. As soon as Elle is out of sight, Affero turns to you, looking hurt.

“I am SO sorry for that! Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

You shake your head as you put a hoof around Rarity’s shoulder and draw her close to you. “Naw, not that I can think of. We enjoyed ourselves, didn’t we love?”

“Yes we did, darling. Now if you’ll excuse us, I think it’s time we leave.”

And with that, you and Rarity leave the Queue du Chevaux in high spirits.

* * * * * * * * * *

“You’re him.”

You tear your eyes from the ground below to Rarity, who was looking at you with a content smile.

“Him who?” you ask as you take a seat next to her.

“No, just ‘him’. The one. That special individual I’ve been waiting my life to meet. The one who I can love with all my heart.”

Using your hoof, you guide Rarity’s face closer to yours. “If I’m him then you’re her.”

“I love you Rarity.”

“I love you too.”

You press your lips against hers and kiss under the starlit skies, far above Ponyville. You could only find a single word to describe this single moment in time.

Perfect.

Discharge Papers

Open Hooves Counseling Center
“Rest Easy in Our Open Hooves”
PATIENT DICHARGE PAPERS

Name: Rarity
Species: Unicorn
Eye Color: Azure
Mane Color: Violet
Coat: White
Cutie Mark: Three Diamonds
Date: 4/23/1
DOB: None of your business
Age: Still not telling

********************************************************************************************************

Contact Pony: Twilight Sparkle
Place of Residence: Ponyville Library
Current Living Arrangements: Homeowner (Carousel Boutique)
Occupation: Dressmaker
Number of Siblings: 1

********************************************************************************************************
What issues caused you to be hospitalized?
I was suffering from anxiety problems that prevented me from enjoying life to its fullest.
What changes have you made and plan to make for a more positive life?
I will not let the little things get to me and allow them to consume my life. And should I need help, I have my friends, family, and love to lean on.
List 3 coping skills you have learned that you could use if presented with a situation similar to those prior to your hospitalization.
1) Remember that the little things that are getting to me cannot harm me in anyway.
2) I am in control of my compulsions, not the other way around
3) A sweet and tender kiss from the pony I love
Do you think you are ready to be discharged?
YES
What’s different?
I’m in love and so is he.