Author's Note
Just a silly little Idea.
Kinda unpolished, but got sick of seeing it sitting there, staring at me, begging for submission.
Feel free to comment. Or not.
Welcome to Class
Inside a classroom at the Woodstock Academy, a man wearing a cream colored sweater vest with a red tie watched as students filed into the room. He stood near a chalkboard at the front of the room, and occasionally tossed a piece of chalk into the air, only to catch it again as it fell. As the bell signaling class to start rung, the man quickly began without hesitation.
“Welcome to Math 105, Pre-Algebra,” Intoned the man. He turned away from the class to face the chalkboard at the front of the room, and wrote a few lines of text before continuing. “My name is Scott Boman, and I will be your instructor for this class. As long as you stay quiet while I’m lecturing, turn your assignments in on time, and follow the school guidelines to the letter, we will not have a problem with each other. Of course, this- You have a question, yes? “
A student in the second row lowered his hand before asking his question.
“Since the school guidelines say nothing about using our books for the tests, does this mean that every test can be considered ‘open book’?”
Scott looked at the student as if he were spawned of the devil, and sighed before responding. “No. Any other questions?”
After a few moments of the students staring at him, he turned back to the board at the front of the room.
“Well, as long as there are no other interruptions, we-“
As if on cue, the door to the classroom opened, revealing a woman in a business suit that all but radiated professionalism. She looked around for a brief moment before her gaze settled directly upon Scott.
“Scott, I have a late admittance for your class. It’s a bit of a special case, but I don’t have time to explain the details, and it’s just for today. Think you can handle it, big boy?”
“Of course, Headmistress Leonora! Anything to help you out,” Scott said, while adjusting his tie with all the subtlety of a nuke as a blush began occupying his face.
Leonora gave a sly smile, before quickly retreating from the room. After a moment, a teenager walked in, wearing the blue uniform of a senior upperclassman. It took Scott a moment to recognize him as one of his previous students. What was of note, however, was that he was carrying a stuffed animal in his arms.
“Ah, James, it’s excellent to see you again! Am I correct to assume that Lenora finally got sick of your antics, and decided to stick you with your own intellectual age group?” With a gesture, Scott finished by pointing at the group of slightly younger teenagers his class was composed of. Each was dressed in a red uniform, indicating freshman status. At the petty jab, a few of the students in the back let out a chuckle, but otherwise it went unnoticed.
“Actually, sir, I’m just here to help out your new student. She has some… issues with our teaching method that she can’t quite cope with.”
After looking out into the hallway briefly, Scott looked at James with confusion. “Well, where is she?”
Before James could answer, a high pitched voice called out. “I’m right here, ya overgrown ape! Can’t you see what’s right in front of your muzzle?”
Scott searched for the source of the voice, but became confused when he found it originating from the colorful ball of fur that James was currently holding. He only just now realized that it appeared to be a white coated unicorn of some type, with a green mane and tail. He found the thing staring at him in a rather lifelike manner, before he looked back at James.
“If Julia just sent you here as a prank, you can go back to your own class, James. Your ventriloquism, while impressive, is unneeded in my class.”
James gave Scott a pained look, before the unicorn jumped out of his arms and landed on the floor. The surprised expression Scott had quickly shifted to horror as he felt his knowledge of reality start breaking apart.
“Now see here,” the unicorn began speaking. “Starswirl forced me to come here so he could work on some weird and dangerous experiment. I am NOT going to put up with any of your bucking prejd-… predj-… mean opinions!”
The room was silent after the unicorn finished speaking. Scott was aware in some part of his mind that this was happening, but the rest of him was still busy trying to reject it as impossible. James had a small smile on his face, and was looking at Scott apologetically. The silence reigned for a few minutes before one of the students in the back of the room spoke up, breaking the stalemate.
“Well, I’m obviously dreaming. Viva la Revolution!” The student then stood up, and ripped his pants off in a theatrical fashion. He then proceeded to throw his pants at one of the other students, bolted out the door, and begun singing as he ran down the hall. “Never gunna give you up! Never-”
As the singing student faded into the distance, the classroom became silent once again. After a few moments, the student in the back of the class who had been bombarded with pants nervously raised his hand.
“Professor, what should I do with these?”
With a groan, Professor Scott silently directed James and his unicorn companion to an empty seat before taking the extra set of pants from the student in the back. Once done, Scott then returned to the front of the class, tossing the pants onto his desk. He hoped that he could at least get through the lesson plan before reality decided to play Russian roulette with is life again.
“No, you idiot! Like this!”
The small unicorn, who Scott now knew to be named Clover, jumped off of James’s shoulder onto the desk. The little filly had been complaining about his ‘assistance’ almost the entire class, and apparently had finally had enough. With a grunt, she pulled the pencil out of James’s hand with her mouth, and then proceeded to use both her mouth and fore-hooves to slowly write out an answer. After a moment, she looked at her work, and put the pencil down.
“See! That’s how it’s supposed to go!”
“But that’s the wrong answer,” James retorted.
“No it isn’t!” Clover adamantly insisted. “Everypony knows that point nine repeating doesn’t make one! What are you, some sort of Equestrology student?”
“First off, its anthropology. Second, if you pour a bottle into thirds, does it not make one bottle when you pour it back?”
The little filly looked at James as though he had asked if Celestia was attracted to mares. She quickly shook it off, and aggressively made her case.
“That doesn’t even make any sense! What about the bits that stay in the glass?!”
Scott could see where the argument was going, and was about to intervene. Fortunately, fate had another plan, as the bell signaling the end of class began to ring. He sighed and leaned back in his char as the students quickly rushed out. Eventually, he was the only one left in the classroom.
Scott sighed, and closed his eyes. After what seemed like a moment, he was forced to open them again at the sound of knocking on the room’s door. Standing in said doorway was Julia, looking at him with what could best be described as an apologetic expression.
“Sorry about dropping Clover in your lap like I did,” She said. “It was a bit sudden for me, too.”
Julia walked in and sat on the corner of Scott’s desk. Scott himself leaned forward, slightly, massaging his temples with his index fingers. With a sigh, he asked the one question on his mind.
“A little fore-warning would have been nice, but why my class?”
“Well, for starters, I knew you could take it.” Julia favored Scott with a smile. “Besides, the ponyfolk could use some instruction in the mathematical arts, and if half the rumors going around the teacher’s lounge are true, you’re the best teacher in the field we have.”
Standing back up, Julia continued. “Besides, now that Starswirl owes me a favor, maybe I can get some more of his students to come to our classes! Oh, just think of the international government funding we would get from that!”
“Of course,” she said, before casting another sly look at Scott, “We’re going to need teachers who can teach them.”