Dedicated to Caroline John (Liz Shaw).

“State your name and purpose!” the pony ordered. He spoke with a distinct Norwegian accent.

The Doctor raised his hands up, “I’m the Doctor, and I’m just trying to get my friend Twilight Sparkle to her home. That’s all.”

The red pony lowered his eyes in distrust, “The Twilight Sparkle? Pfft, yeah right. As if the princess’s protégé would break into a high security base.”

The Doctor smacked his forehead, “She’s the-TWILIGHT!”

She grinned sheepishly, “Sorry, I kinda…forgot…”

“You forgot you were the student of royalty?!”

“No…I just forgot to tell you…” Twilight explained.

“Great,” he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, “I don’t feel left out at all.”

“Hello?” the red earth pony regained their attention, “You know I’m still here, right?”

“OH, sorry,” the Doctor grinned, “Um… what’s your name?”

“My name is Guardian,” the pony puffed his chest with pride, “And it is my job to make sure creatures like you are locked up where they belong!”

The Doctor eyed the gun casually, “Alright, Guardian, lead the way.”

The Doctor and Twilight were lead through a bright prison. Cells as far as they could see.

“How about I give you a little tour, since you will be staying here for a while,” Guardian said with a snicker.

“Well there’s no need for that tone of voice,” the Doctor said to himself, “And what’s DAEL?”

“DAEL,” Guardian explained, “Is the Defense Against Extraterrestrial Life. Our duty is to capture any strange, alien that wonders onto our fair lands. Then we cage them, experiment on them, anything the science colts ask.”

Twilight gasped, “That’s awful! If Princess Celestia knew about this…”

“Ha!” Guardian scoffed, “Who do you think funded our research.”

“What… but she wouldn’t…” Twilight stammered, “Well, I’ll bet that she doesn’t know how you treat the inmates.”

Guardian shrugged, “Doesn’t know, doesn’t ask. It’s all the same.”

The Doctor tapped him on his head, “So, why exactly are you taking Twilight? She isn’t an alien.”

“Seriously? You think I’m gonna fall for that?” Guardian laughed, “The real Twilight Sparkle would know what DAEL is. Everypony knows.”

The group stopped at a large cage. “These,” he gestured, “Are the biters. We don’t know their real name, since their not the best at communication.”

The cage held five snarling creatures, similar to humans in appearance. But they lacked noses, and their teeth were as sharp as a dog’s. Their eyes were sunken, and had no hair whatsoever. Each of them wore a black jumpsuit.

“Biters?” the Doctor rolled his eyes, “That’s the best you can think of? Jack had a better name. Weevils, he called them.”

“Oh, well look who’s mister smarty pants,” Guardian sneered, “What are their real names, then?”

“How should I know?” the Doctor crossed his arms, “They aren’t the best at communication.”

“This is the cell of the Cyberpony,” Guardian showed them another cage.

“A cyberpony!” the Doctor slapped his forehead, “Of course one escaped. One always escapes.”

“You know, this would’ve attacked all of Appleloosa if it weren’t for us,” Guardian said proudly.

“Yep,” the Doctor nodded, “Twilight, remember when we defeated the Cybermen?”

“Yes, I do,” Twilight replied, glad to have a chance to show up Guardian, “How did we escape again? Oh yes, you used you’re cape.”

“Wha- bu-“ Guardian dropped his jaw, and regained his focus, “No matter, we should… move on to the next cage.”

“No! No! No! NOOO! SOMEPONY HELP ME!”

“What’re you doing to that poor thing?” Twilight fumed.

“That’s not us,” Guardian cringed, “I’ve never seen what’s inside, but I’m not that sure I want to. Every pony who goes in never goes back and never talk about it.”

“Can I see it?”

“What?” Guardian was shocked upon this bold statement, “Did you not here what I just said?”

“Yeah, I heard ya,” the Doctor answered smugly, “And it almost sounds like a challenge to me.”

Guardian nodded uncertainly, and opened the hatch.

“so I said, ‘Cupcakes are a million gazillion bajillion times better than muffins’. The she said ‘nu uh’, and I said, ‘Yuh huh!’ and it went like Nu uh, Yuh huh, Nu uh, Yuh huh, Nu uh, Yuh huh, Nu uh, Yuh huh, Nu uh, Yuh huh…”

A blue unicorn cupped his hooves over his ears in a futile attempt to cut off the noise. He turned to Guardian and the others.

“Please, for the sake of Celestia,” he sobbed, “Make it stop!”

The Doctor and Twilight widened their eyes. “Pinkie?”

“This cage has something you might recognize, Doctor,”

“Oh, that’s very likely,” The Doctor checked his nails to express that he was uninterested, “I know pretty much everything in this prison.”

Ignoring his snide comment, Guardian revealed another cage. In it was a… human?

“Like it?” he grinned, “It’s one of our greatest acheivements.”

“What did you do?”

“We infused the DNA of another alien into this one. Now he’s a hybrid human… and something else. He’s unbelievably clever, and we think the…”

“So you’re saying the human in there, isn’t a human anymore.”

Guardian nodded. The Doctor scowled.

“So you think you can control all that?” he laughed, “You think the rest of the universe is like putty in your hooves, eh? I swear, no one’s every different.”

“I think that ends our tour,” Guardian said venomously.

“Hey! There is no need to shove,” Twilight whined, or rather complained.

“Be quiet,” Guardian mumbled.

“What was that?” Twilight put her hoof to her ear, “I can’t hear you,”

‘Be quiet,” he mumbled again.

The confidence had been drained from him. That ‘doctor’ fellow was right. The whole organization was based on the belief that they were better than another species.

Twilight became more sensitive. There was a chance that he didn’t really want to do what he did. It was to protect Equestria after all.

“Oof!” the Doctor groaned. Two guards carrying gunsticks pushed into a cold, barred room, “Hm, not very accommodating. Can I have some room service?”

The stoic guards gave no response.

“Hm, you’re a bundle of laughs you lot,” the Doctor frowned. He huffed, getting bored.

Meanwhile,

“Careful, Iron Sight, careful,” a brown unicorn warned his partner.

“I got it, Angle,” his partner reassured dragging a blue box via wagon, “What’s so special ‘bout this dumb box anyways?”

Angle smiled, “Oh, this thing isn’t just a dumb box. They say it’s impossible to open. They even tried explosives! Not one dent!”

“Fine, fine,” Granite sighed, “Let’s just dump this thing and go. Their serving pudding in the lunchroom.”

Iron Sight set the box down to the ground next to large, dome shaped artifact. “Come on, I’m famished!” he complained.

Angle shook his head, “You’re excepted in a place that defends Equestria from aliens and all you can think about is eating?”

The two kept on arguing about priorities, and they never noticed a strange phenomenon occurring in the warehouse. The artifact started shaking as the box beside it glowed energy. It came to life. A glowing blue eyestalk rose upwards. It said one thing.

“Exterminate!”

“Ugghhhh!” Twilight groaned loudly, “This is so monotonous!”

“Seriously? That’s the only thing you have to say?” Guardian took all his willpower not to bang his head with a shovel, “I mean, you are trapped in a cage.”

“Yeah, but its so boring!” she pouted, “Do you have any books around here?”

“Nope.”

Twilight sighed. She had been aching on and on about the dull environment of captivity. This was probably the most uninteresting event in her journeys with the Doctor since he challenged her to read ‘The History of Peas’. Not even she could finish that book.

“Do you have any interesting stories?” Twilight asked, “That might interest me.”

“Nope,” Guardian grunted.

“Come on!” she insisted, “Surely you have something. You fight aliens for a living, for Pony’s sake!”

“Actually, I’m more of a guard,” he admitted sheepishly, “Never worked out in the field.”

“Please?” Twilight begged. Cabin fever was kicking in, “I really need a distraction from claustrophobia right now.”

“Alright,” he thought for a while, “Well, my father was a guard for Princess Luna herself. He always wanted me to follow in his hoofsteps. Always made me get up early and jog 5 miles before and after school. I had to run 7 miles on weekends. He was pretty proud when he learned that I was working with DAEL. The only time I ever made him proud.” He shook his head sadly.

Twilight frowned, “It doesn’t sound like you enjoyed it.”

“Not at all,” Guardian admitted, “My dream job was always to be a…,”

“A what?”

“A park ranger!” he blurted, “You see, I’ve always had a fascination with nature, and I hated seeing litter and pollution.”

In the Doctor’s cell, the Doctor was busy planning an escape route. A sonic screwdriver would be handy, but for all he knew, it could be floating in space, surrounded by shrapnel of Cybermen. He took a look at his cape. A cape saved him from dying in the Cybership’s explosion. Looks like it can save him again.

“May I have a glass of water?” he requested innocently, indiscreetly removing his cape.

A unicorn guard walked towards him, his partner guarding the exit. He levitated a small canteen of water.

“Here, now be quie-GURK!” the Doctor grabbed him and tied his neck to the cell bars, grabbing the gunstick. The other rushed over to assist the fallen guard, only to be hit in the face stick’s butt. He fell to the floor.

“Thank you,” he smirked and plucked the keys from the unconscious pair and swung open his door.

“If only ponies could see it!” Guardian exclaimed, “Trees are more then just chunks of would attached with leaves! They are shelter to countless birds, ants, and aphids! It’s not just brown and green either! It’s an explosion of tints and shades-“

A voice blared from a computer. “Alert! Prisoner 1963 has escaped! Last scene in mess hall!”

“An escape?” Twilight widened her eyes in surprise, “Who is it?”

The screen played a clip of a grinning Doctor staring at the camera.

“Oo, they have custard! Yum,” The Doctor licked his lips, “Are those hay fries? That combination might actually work.”

“Focus, Doctor,” he told himself, “You need to find a way to release those prisoners.”

“What if we reach the main control point, we could unlock the doors electronically…”

The Doctor paused.

“This is the reason I have a companion.”

In the warehouse, the dome shaped creature made its way outside. A guard saw it and readied the gun.

“Ha!” he laughed, “What are you, a salt shaker with a plunger? This should be easy.”

“I AM NO ‘SALT SHAKER’,” the creature screamed, “I AM DALEK! I AM DEATH! EXTERMINATE!”

The Dalek raised its arm and shot out a green laser, and killed the guard instantly.

“EXTERMINATE!”

The Doctor ran through the Prison hallways, searching frantically for a door, or a sign that would help him locate a main control room of some sort.

“What is it?”

The Doctor froze. Two guards were having a conversation, blocking his path. A group of other guards were on his trail as well.

“There’s another prisoner escaped!”

Another prisoner? He thought, Looks like I got myself an assistant!

“Stop right there! I swear, I’ll shoot!”

Two audible shot were fired, followed by a clanging sound. As if it were striking armor.

“YOUR PRIMATIVE WEAPONS ARE USELESS!” a voice screamed, “EXTERMINATE!!”

The Doctor scowled angrily. They followed him here. They always find him. But how?

The guard screamed bloody murder, and dropped to the ground. The Dalek floated over his body and surveyed the hallway.

“SENSORS INDICATE HOSTILES IN A 50 RADIUS RANGE!” it screeched, “THEY WILL BE EXTERMINATED!”

The Doctor stepped behind the Dalek’s view, “Well, well, well, looks like you’ve caught me!”

The Dalek swung its eyepiece around. “HOSTILE DETECTED! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”

“Oh, please,” the Doctor laughed, “I think we know each other well enough for you to call me ‘Doctor’”

The Dalek shook its eyepiece fearfully, “YOU ARE THE DOCTOR! YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!”

“And how are you going to do that?” he sneered. The Dalek took its laser arm and shot the ground beneath under him, breaking open a large hole in the floor. It dropped down to the lower floor.

“Okay, that’s just not fair!”

The Doctor looked down and saw that the Dalek was gone.

“Where are you, Dalek….,”

“What the…,” Guardian stared into the computer.

“What’s wrong?”

“All the cells are electronically locked,” he explained, “And somepony hacked into the database mainframe.”

Twilight looked into the screen as far as the restricting bars would let her, “What’s he doing?”

“He’s opening all the cages!” Guardian shouted frantically, “All the inmates are escaping! It’s a mass breakout!”

Weevils, Cyberponies, everything ran wild through the corridors. Guards were shooting to and fro.

“Ahhhhh!” a guard screamed in pain as a weevil jumped him and sank his teeth into his neck. He was shot down by another guard.

“Oh, sweet Celestia!” he shouted into his radio, “All hell’s broken loose ou-Ahhhh!”

The Dalek removed its plunger arm from the computer. All of the guards would die. Everything will die, distracting the Doctor long enough to execute its plan.

“DALEK SCOUT REPORTING!” it shouted, “THIS WORLD IS PRIMATIVE, AND STANDS NO CHANCE AGAINST THE DALEK ARMY! PREPARE TO INVADE!”

“AFFIRMATIVE!”

Everything is going perfectly. A large, circular ship floated downwards, to Equestria. The invasion was about to begin.